đłď¸ââ§ď¸ â¨An Arab/Desi GrayAce TransFemme sharing her real thoughts. â¨đłď¸ââ§ď¸
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Translation for the previous post.
I ventured out looking for love. I am just a delicate little branch on a family tree. My father upset his son is becoming a daughter. My mother up in arms trying to console her husband and prioritize his sadness. Nature didnât give the childhood, she shouldâve had. In her soul her childhood feels incomplete and the days empty. Hatred and even with being a biological son made to feel unwanted and unofficial part of the family is a lesson rooted in every moment. âWhat will people sayâ words that become a continuous study ingrained into the mind. Walk through lives shifting between two faces to tolerate life. One for friends and strangers, and one to procure a little joy for the self. I didnât find love. I found a little compassion from some. The delicate branch is broken. Societyâs rape of her individuality finally won.
#transgender#lgbtq#trans pride#trans woman#transfem#queer#transblr#queer community#trans#transfeminine#creative writing#writing#writers on tumblr#writeblr#writers and poets#writerscommunity#poems on tumblr#poetry#poem#poets on tumblr#original poem
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Mohabbat dhoondnay chali thi mein.
Ek Khandaani darakhth pay kali thi mein.
Baap ko beta say beti honay ka gham.
Maa ko apne khawand kay gham ka sangam.
Kudrat nay bachpan diya, jo laga adhoora.
Rooh hi rooh mein har ek din bhi na lagay poora.
Nafrat aur jayaz ho kay bhi najayaz har pal yaad karliya.
âLog kya kahain gayâ in lafzon mein bhala para aur yehi sabak bangaya.
Aaj bhi do chehron ko ek saath apne hi saath zindagi ko jhelnay kay liye apna lia.
Ek dostoon aur ghairon kay liye aur ek apni choti si khushi kay liye.
Mohabbat na mili, thoroon na day di hamdaardi.
Toot gayi woh kali, akhir jeet hui samajh ki zabardasti.
#desi tumblr#desi tag#desi stuff#desi life#queer#trans#transgender#lgbtq#trans pride#trans woman#transfem#transblr#queer community#transfeminine#urdu shayari#urdu literature#urdu stuff#urdu poetry#urdu lines#hindi shayari#sher o shayari#sad shayari#shayari#queer poc#feelings#thoughts#emotions#coconut#oreo#iykyk
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Listen up Girlfriend, My kindred love has arrived at these doors. Listen up Girfriend, The home once empty is alive with blossoms and blooms. When heâs around I am no longer a shell of myself or a ghost. I am a blanket he covers his body with and lights me aflame. Our skin ignites, bodies in a dance branching into each others souls. Listen up girlfriend, My kindred love has arrived at these doors. I was standing bereft of colour and breathless close by him. Wishing for him to place the colour he brought into my world, some unto me. Starting with the kohl in my eyes, the henna on my hands, the vermillion placed on my forehead to make his claim. Look at the state of your lover. For I have lost my mind and body in waiting for your return. Listen up Girlfriend, My kindred love has arrived at these doors. Listen up Girfriend, The home once empty is alive with blossoms and blooms. Listen up Girlfriend, My kindred love has arrived at these doors.
#transgender#lgbtq#trans pride#trans woman#transfem#queer#transblr#queer community#trans#transfeminine#creative writing#writers on tumblr#writing#writeblr#writers and poets#writerscommunity#femme#trans femme#femme4masc#femme bait#romance#romantic#lovers#relationship#translation#ae re sakhi
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8:50
Waking up to set myself on autopilot. Desires put on hold, dreams blocked and reported. Working to survive, because responsibilities have denied you the fun youâd enjoy as soon as the morning sun would cup your bare flesh.
#transgender#lgbtq#trans pride#trans woman#transfem#queer#writeblr#queer community#trans#transblr#creative writing#writers on tumblr#writing#writers and poets#poems on tumblr#queer poc#poems and poetry#lgbt pride#poetry#transfeminine#transsexual#femme bait#femme4masc#trans femme#feminine sissy#femme
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Gloomy exteriorÂ
Gray interiors
Pink Nails
Glittery Middle Finger
Wednesday Masquerading as Friday
Buried in the sheets
Craving Eskimo Kisses
Hopeful for Flower Deliveries
Returning to sleeping till Noon
Awaiting the Outside to match the Insides
the Soul
The scent of White Magnolias
#artists on tumblr#creative writing#writers on tumblr#writing#writeblr#poems on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetry#queer poc#queer community#queer#trans pride#transfeminine#trans#transsexual#transgender#transfem#transblr#trans woman#trans women#trans femme#trans feminine#transgirl
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They say
Iâm difficult to love
They state love
In their many love languages
I define their Ishq as lust
Their pyaar as infatuationÂ
And ask them to provide me
With that old school
Niyat-e-MohabbatÂ
That intentional true-love
This is when the excuses come a plentyÂ
Ulfat-e-Tanhai
This torturous lonelinessÂ
#creative writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writers and poets#writerscommunity#trans femme#femme#transfeminine#transgender#trans pride#trans#transsexual#poems on tumblr#poetry#poems and poetry#queer poc#queer community#queer#lgbtq#desiblr#desi tumblr#desi core
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Cold Shower
Physical Breakdown
Anxiety Overload
Breaths Turbulent
Body Quivering
Hands Fidgeting
Voices Loud
Mind Racing
Skin Crawling
Miniature Pauses
Dance Interval
Spiritual ContortionsÂ
Silencing Demons
Autopilot On
Ending Alone
Open Wounds
Dripping Pools
Isolated World
Tired Bones
Disassociation.Â
#poetry#poems and poetry#poems on tumblr#creative writing#writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#transfeminine#trans pride#trans#transsexual#transgender#transfem#transblr#trans women#trans woman#queer#queer community#lgbtq
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Flowy Dress
Floral Stockings
Make up on FleekÂ
Running Late
Hid all the manly bits
Except for the Voice
The Gay Voice
That is quick to make
The cishets clock a
Girl trying to revel
In her Gender EuphoriaÂ
#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#creative writing#poetry#poems on tumblr#poems and poetry#transgirl#trans woman#transgender#trans pride#transfem#flowers#cute#transblr#trans femme#transfeminine#trans community#transsexual#queer#queer community#lgbtq
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Relationship Woes 2024
After 6 years of dating and talking stages and short term situationships, I now found myself romanticizing everyday plans with this new man. It scares me a little as he sees me as I am, and there is this constant worry that I may not be enough for him.
Heâs different, he was born in a body that didnât quite feel like home. I was born him in a body that didnât feel comfortable to be myself in and is still quite awkward. He has been on his transition journey for 7 years, and I have been on it for a year and a half. I worry that itâs our trans experience that is enriching our deep understanding for one another and keeping us together. Thatâs all that is there.
I have no clue on how to navigate a T4T relationship. Thereâs this sense of failure looming over it, that I want to avoid. Thereâs this odd sense of peace in our reverse gender identities creating a queerness to the âheteronormativityâ our relationship has come to mirror. The space between us feels safe. In the safety, the voices to run away and be single forever ring loudly, because a healthy relationship model simply canât be possible for a person like me. Which leads to the voices considering me an abomination, a miscreant, a mistake to Godâs design, and every other slur and negative comment to ring louder and join in the chorus lines of belittling and sabotaging thoughts.
I am starting to grown onto him or so it seems, and heâs starting to grow onto me. We are exclusively âgoing with the flowâ a phrase I canât stand but learning to put more trust into it. I donât want to lose him and want us to work out. I donât see myself remarried after getting divorced, but I have fantasized different lives for us on different continents. My imagination has bloomed a world for this new relationship that seems to be sheltering me from personal realities of the wounds and fears I have yet to heal and recover from their traumas.
When the past lover stated âIf he wanted a woman, heâd married a biological one!â And the man now believes âTranswoman are womanâ and treats you right. Why is the need to stay hidden and unhappy? A response to both of these circumstances.
Am I chronically doomed, because I no longer can emulate a genuine response rooted in happiness?
#trans woman#transgender#transfem#dating#marriage#relationship#trans t4t#queer#lgbtq#writeblr#writing#writers and poets#writerscommunity
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Heavy Headed Queen
The July Summer heat is in full force with 27°C weather. The sunglasses are a cheap pair from a local Ice Hockey Teams promotional swag, are my eyes really protected? Or are they just adding more to the migraine? She sits with her dog on a hill, the wild grass scraping her exposed calves and thighs irritable that she is uncomfortable. The dog rolling in it with such frivolous demeanour, wiggling his furry body as itâs doing âthe wormâ (a type of dance) . she finds herself envious of the joy her dog is feeling in this moment.
Her mind is off elsewhere completely on this summer day. The clouds near the sun through her shades shimmer pastel rainbow colours as they smoke their away across the sky. An image that would be a universal sign to promote simple joy in the past; However, today her demons have been hungry like wolves pinning her head in their sharp teeth. The pack members of these demonic wolves ripping her limb by limb serving up a guttural pain. The passerbyâs are smiling and idle gossiping and serving pleasantries without conviction âCute Dogâ and âBeautiful Dayâ unaware her sunglasses are hiding tear filled eyes which are afraid to fall. She has an image to maintain, she has it altogether. The autopilot no longer a fail safe option and malfunctioning. Her demonic wolves acting upon their impulses to rip open the anxieties, fears, sense of failure, depression and insomniac tendencies. All these negative feelings convulsing into the idea she doesnât belong.
She woke up finding the world sheâs busy nurturing and cultivating with her duty to help and heal othersâŚshe no longer possessed that sense of wanting to be around to help heal the world and its inhabitants. She wanted the pain to disappear. The discomfort in her heart, body, mind and more importantly her soul. She is overwhelmed. She is scared. She no longer can feel her resilience or the ability to adapt to the situation she is in. Her friends canât be burdened with her pain, her family canât know her truth or anymore of her secrets. It would take one quick stroke of a sharp knife to no longer endure the fight and have the peace of knowing even the end of it all was on my terms. It wasnât a Final Destination moment, a preconceived universal accident or a sign from a vengeful God my time here on his domain is up.
She wouldnât be missed, the world would forget her existence. Her memories would be of the former self and a former life no longer a reflection of all that she was and of who she truly was. Her family would mourn the son and bury him 6 feet deep and offer prayers âHeâ would be spared from the hellfires. Her friends would remember the friend that was all too nice and quirky. Her chosen family would remember the woman she was on route to becoming and finally forgiving her for she has chosen to dance with her peace.
She writes all of this to let go of her poison, she puts her phone down, she pets her dog, and listens to âAll She Wants To Do is Dance - Don Henleyâ. Her feet dancing their way to the kitchen, because she is hangry as well as lost in this moment. For today she decides to dance with her pain and her heavy head.
#grunge#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writers and poets#writerscommunity#trans woman#dear dairy#woman#lgbtq#transgender#transfem#transblr#trans#queer#queer community
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