#possibly because LITERALLY no disorder has these symptoms

[pinkrangerv]

Additional question:

Why is your 'heroic' mentally disabled person completely stupid, perpetually happy, naive and gullible, and spouting off 'wisdom' straight from a Chicken Soup For The Soul book?

And why is your 'villain' mentally disabled person a ruthless, self-serving monster who has no emotions, considers themselves superior to others, and prizes 'logic' that actually has so many logical fallacies that anyone with an elementary-school education can see how stupid it is?

I just think everyone should take a moment to consider the question "what is your visual shorthand for cruelty?" and then follow it up with a critical "and who taught you that?"

specific examples include but are not limited to

why is an evil timeline character design disabled? (why do the heroes go through equally punishing battles and never lose an arm, a leg, an eye?)

why are the futuristic scifi terrorists uniformly darker skinned? (why are the heroes so much lighter?)

why is the greedy boss fat? (why are the heroes skinny?)

why is the criminal mastermind heavily scarred? (why is the brooding, traumatized hero unscathed?)

why is the predatory creep a bearded person in a dress and makeup? (why are none of the heroes trans women?)

who taught you that this is how things are?

how long do you plan on repeating it?

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

Heat Intolerance

This disability pride month I'd like to talk about heat intolerance. Because honestly although it's not the first health issue that presented symptoms in my life. It was the first time I was like "I don't think my body works right".

And honestly given disability pride month is during one of the hottest months in the year. It seems fitting. Especially because there's a lot of disabilities and medications that cause it.

What is heat intolerance?

Simply speaking it's the inability for the body to regulate it's temperatures especially in hot settings to cool itself down.

Why is awareness important?

Because gaslighting people or worse not providing them a place to cool down just because you "feel fine" is extremely fucking dangerous.

What are the medicines that can cause heat intolerance?

Antihistamines (Allergy medications) . Decongestants (Sudafed or any medication that has the D at the end of it). Stimulants (ADHD medications. Steroids. Caffeine.) Beta-blockers (blood pressure medications). Overactive bladder treatment. Psychiatric medications (including but not limited to medications for depression and anxiety). Pain relievers. Antibiotics.

What medical conditions can cause heat intolerance?

EDS (Elhers-Danlos syndrome). Autism. ADHD. Migraines. Brain/spinal-cord injury. Sensory processing disorder. Chronic fatigue syndrome. Endocrin problems. POTS. Menopause. Hypothyroidism. Diabetes. Heart Disease. Multiple sclerosis. Mental health disorders.

What should I do if I suspect I have heat intolerance?

Reduce time outside during hot months. Keep your electrolytes up. Drink plenty of water. Stay out of the sun whenever possible if outside. Be aware of the symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke.

Clothes that are best worn for heat intolerance. Loose lightweight breathable fabrics. Natural fibers. Long sleeves that protect from sunburn as sunburns will increase your risk. Light clothes that reflect light. Wide brimmed hats that shade the face and neck.

Cool. So what are those symptoms I'm supposed you be looking for?

Headaches. Excessive fatigue. Mood changes. Muscle cramping or weakness. Nausea/ vomiting. Rapid heartbeat. Excessive sweating or not sweating at all.

When should I do to the doctor?

If you suspect you have heat intolerance you can go to your PCP to discuss what medications you may be on and what you can do about it. Otherwise, please go to the emergency room if you have symptoms of heat stroke.

This is good information and all but why are you making this post?

To raise awareness. Not just for the people that have it but weren't aware of what it was called. But for all of the idiots that tried to gaslight me when I was in school because I was like "I don't think this is normal. Every time we do our mile run outside I vomit all over the place but other kids aren't doing that."

Also because people always blame me for over heating if I wear long sleeves or pants. I always like to take notes from what people in the middle east wear because they literally live in the excessive heat and spend long hours in the excessive heat. Often in clothing that covers most of their body. They've gotta know what they're doing, right?

I have some type of xenophobic comment about why people from the middle east cover up

Shut the fuck up 😊

-fae

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

BG3 Companions (& Halsin) Realizing That Their GN! Tav Might Have PMDD

Characters: GN! Reader! Tav; Astarion; Gale; Wyll; Shadowheart; Karlach; Lae’zel; Halsin

Pairing(s): None, but it’s written as All Companions x Tav so if you have a romanced companion you prefer, you can imagine they have most of Tav’s favor. 

A/N: This is a highly indulgent imagine that absolutely NO ONE asked for (besides me lol) but I felt compelled to write it because I’ve been really struggling lately with some extreme PMS symptoms for the last few months or so. I don’t have a PMDD diagnosis yet or anything, but in looking up my symptoms I read about it and wanted to write this comfort piece for it. I kept Tav as gender-neutral as possible in this, but they do have a very active and very angry uterus in this.

TW: Discussion of Menstruation (Bleeding, Cramps/ Abdominal Pain), PMS, and PMDD Symptoms (Including Depression & Thoughts of Suicide) [Note: No one actually says ‘PMDD’, or Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder but that is the syndrome implied]; Brief Mentions of Sex (also small text)

Word Count: 3.7k

“Have any of you seen Tav lately?” Astarion asked, coming to sit next to a handful of his fellow companions seated around their camp’s fire. 

“Why? Has something else gone wrong?” Shadowheart teased back from where she lay against a log, a goblet of half-drunk wine in her hand. “Or perhaps, you’re looking for a bite to eat?” 

“Ha-ha,” Astarion mock laughed. “‘Bite,’ because I’m a vampire, how hilarious Shadowheart.” 

“I don’t know Astarion,” Gale countered from where he was perched on the other side of the former Sharran devotee, “I’d wager you secretly found it rather punny.” 

“Ugh,” Astarion wrinkled his nose at Gale’s words, failing to hide the amused smile that graced his lips. “Honestly Gale, as if the orb isn’t enough.”

Astarion, having lost interest in sitting next to his companions, settled for standing, crossing his arms, and jutting out one hip in his signature semi-annoyed pose.

“Come now Astarion, you can’t say Gale’s love for language comes as a surprise,” Wyll joined the conversation, sheathing his blade after having used Lae’zel’s whetstone to sharpen it. “Why I’d wager even Lae’zel can attest that in the farthest reaches of the Githyanki galaxy, the repetition of a wizard’s sharpened tongue precedes them.” 

Lae’zel huffed affirmatively, taking the opportunity to sharpen her sword. “Tchk. The Blade is right. It is no secret that wizards cannot help but run their mouths.” 

Karlach, having been seated quite literally in the middle of the conversation, from where she lay next to the campfire flames, burst out laughing, sitting up with a start. 

Shadowheart and Astarion couldn’t help but chuckle as well. 

Lae’zel’s eyes glowered as she looked at her other companions. “I do not see the cause for such antics” 

“Yes! Thank you Lae’zel!” Gale spoke up, wagging a finger in protest at the display of his friends. “A wizard’s intellectual prowess is no laughing matter.” 

“That which you discuss has yet to be seen.” Lae’zel rebuffed Gale yet again. 

“Pfft!” Shadowheart nearly choked on her drink as Karlach resumed her boisterous laughter, Wyll joining in this time as well. 

“Enjoying a night of merriment, are we?” Halsin’s deep voice cut through the laughs, his large form coming into view as the Druid emerged from the tree line. Shirtless, and still dripping, his presence brought a warm air to the camp, despite the night’s chilled air. 

“We certainly are now,” Astarion purred, admiring the druid’s half-naked form. 

“Mhhm,” Shadowheart took another sip of her wine. “For once, Astarion,  I’d have to agree.” 

Completely comfortable in his nudity, and unintimidated by the other’s ogling, Halsin strutted confidently over to where his fellow companions had gathered around the fire. “I had just finished bathing when Tav came to the lakeside. Said they were going to take a bath to unwind before bed.” 

“I’m surprised they didn’t ask you to join them,” Astarion mused, eyes still raking up and down Halsin’s sculpted form. 

Halsin gave a half smirk at the compliment, but his mood remained subdued. “They seemed upset. I offered to stay with them, even just to chat, but they insisted they wished to be left alone.“ 

Frowning, Gale scanned the faces of his companions, looking for a negative reaction, finding a similar dower one had made its way across Wyll’s and Karlach’s features. 

Looking to Karlach for solidarity, Wyll spoke up first: “Has anyone noticed Tav to be much more despondent as of late?” 

Karlach nodded. “Yesterday as well. Hells, it’s so odd to see them so down in the dumps. They’re usually leading the charge in making sure the rest of us are happy.”

“Has something changed? Perhaps Raphael contacted them yet again?” Gale supposed. 

Shadowheart shook her head. “Not that I know of. Besides, even if he did, this feels too familiar to just be a coincidence.” 

Lae’zel resheathed her newly sharpened blade before stalking over to the Selunite priestess. “Tchk. If you have something to share ghustil, say it outright.” 

Shadowheart rolled her eyes at the quarrelsome nature of Lae’zel’s words but continued speaking nonetheless. “If I recall correctly, a similar thing happened a while back, a few weeks perhaps.” 

“Yes,” Wyll joined. “I remember Tav crying after one of our battles.” 

“Come now,” Gale countered. “That’s hardly a mystery. It’s completely understandable why they might break down every now and then. It’s been a hard few months, even for a leader as strong as Tav.” 

“Perhaps,” Wyll relented. “Although, I can’t recall Tav giving a specific reason for their meltdown.” 

“‘Reason’?” Asatrion scoffed. “How about the fact that we’re all infected with Mindflayer parasites which could hatch at any moment? On top of which we are expected to destroy this Absolute death cult, lest all of Baldur’s Gate be turned into a tentacle wasteland!” 

“It is enough to make one’s blood run cold.” Gale agreed. 

“I do think Shadowheart may have a point.” Halsin put his two cents in. “I do recall around two months ago, Tav coming to me for healing, relief for abdominal cramps.”

“Oh, well that settles it, doesn’t it? It’s merely that ‘time of the month’, rather unfortunate and annoying, but hardly devastating for our capable leader.” Astarion sounded unconvinced, as he looked down to admire his recently shaped fingernails. 

Halsin shook his head. “I sensed there was more they wished to request aid for. They were holding something back. What exactly and why, I am unsure.” 

“Maybe they’ve just got a tough go of it. I know my whole body was thrown entirely out of whack waking up in Avernus. It took years for me to feel like myself again.” Karlach gestured at her many scars as she did so. 

All the time, Lae’zel had been listening intensely, a curious look across her face. “What is this ‘time of the month’?” She repeated. “Is it another,” she paused, making sure to pronounce the following word right, “Tiefling trait?” 

Karlach shook her head. “We’re not exempt from it,” she replied honestly. “But no, it’s not just tieflings.” 

“You mean to tell me that female Githyanki don’t have periods?” Shadowheart asked, having thrown all her pretenses out along with the last of her wine. 

“As I have said before ghustil, we do not become parents through sex. When it is time, we are chosen by Vlaakith to lay the eggs of our young.” 

“And this, ‘egg-laying’, as you call it… it, isn’t um, gender specific?” Gale, ever the wizard, just had to know. 

“No. Sex is irrelevant. The only thing of importance is whether you are called by Vlaakith to bear that which houses her future children.” 

“... Right,” Gale answered, feeling rather queasy. “I think that’s all I’d like to know if you don’t mind.”  

“Can we please get back to the point?” Astarion interrupted, rather impatient. “Tav is spiraling or having a mental breakdown or something, and apparently, only the Cleric and Druid noticed, how cliche.” 

 “Alright, Astarion. What do you suggest?” Wyll asked. 

“Well, obviously we need to find out what’s wrong with them so we can fix it.” 

“If it is this ‘time-of-month’, then why not stop it before it comes? You know when it nears, why not strike it down before it starts?” Lae’zel suggested, still not fully understanding what a ‘period’ was for a human. 

“That may not solve all the difficulties Tav is experiencing.” Halsin finally pulled his shirt back over his head, much to the others' collective disappointment. “There is more, although I am uncertain if I should share it, as Tav shared it with me in confidence.” 

“If it could help us help Tav, perhaps it is best to share this once?” Gale suggested. “Normally, I’m not one for shifting loyalties, but I too, have some things I think it’s better I share with the group.” 

“Now that you mention it, I do recall Tav saying something off-color last night,” Astatrion added. 

“What did they say?” Karlach asked.

“They mentioned they had been feeling rather down. Really down. So down, that they, well��” Astarion gave an exasperated huff, clearly uneasy with the topic. “...Tav said that sometimes, they feel like giving up.” 

“What did you tell them?” Wyll asked, encouraging Astarion to go on. 

“I said of course they feel like that! I mean who wouldn't? Between the Mindflayer parasites, the constant goblin attacks, the thieves, and the looming threat of this Absolute Cult, who wouldn't want to lie down for a few hundred years or so?” 

“I must admit, Tav’s confession to me a few months back was similar in nature,” Gale attested. “They expressed how defeated they felt as if nothing they did mattered. All the battles, all the small victories, it didn’t change anything. The Absolute was still going strong, the threat of the world’s end still looming… They asked me if any of it was worth it.” 

Halsin nodded. “I fear I was told more of the same. Tav divulged that they sometimes wondered if I, if we, would fare better on our journey without them.”

A silence fell over the companions, a cerebral, unsettling kind of silence, the kind one could feel resonating, laden within one's bones. 

“Shit,” Karlch said, the first to speak. “I mean, I knew they were upset sometimes, but I just figured we all were.” 

“Halsin,” Shadowheart started, gently. “When Tav told you they thought we’d be better off without them, what did you say?” 

“I embraced them and told them that in no uncertain terms, we needed them to lead us. I reminded Tav how amazing they are, and how, even though they themselves cannot see it, they are truly a marvel to behold. I expressed gratitude for them saving The Grove, for making peace between the tieflings and the druids.”

Wyll nodded along to Halsin’s words, recalling all that he and Tav had managed to accomplish together in such a short time, despite all the odds stacked against them. 

Halsin cleared his throat, swallowing down an ardent wave of emotion that threatened to escalate before he continued: “Lastly, I told them how I felt about them, how we all felt about them, and that should they ever require reminding, they need only ask.” 

From where he stood, Astarion sulked, a guilty expression making its way across his face. “I, I didn’t know. Godsdammit! I should have seen…”

“You cannot blame yourself Astarion.” Halsin did his best to assure his pale elf friend. “Even with Tav’s confession, I fear I did not heed their words the way I should have. Perhaps if I connected the dots more quickly, if I recorded the dates of their depressive episodes, we could have come to this conclusion weeks ago.” 

“What conclusion is that exactly?” Lae’zel enquired. “You say it is not this ‘time-of-month’, and yet, you make no other claims. What cause do you reference?” 

“It’s rare, but sometimes it happens that a human’s reproductive organs seemingly conspire against them,” Gale answered. “Well, more than is to be expected, I should clarify.” 

“Ah. So it is inferior istik reproductive organs to blame for our dear leader’s shakiness. Then perhaps they need be cut out.” 

“Lae’zel!” Gale gasped. 

Lae’zel crossed her arms as if to say ‘what’? 

“It needn’t come to that,” Halsin cut in, diffusing the situation. “That is not to say it’s not a possibility, but only in the most dire and extreme cases.” 

“Yes,” Shadowheart agreed. “And despite my being a cleric and Halsin being a druid, neither one of us is qualified for such procedures.” 

Lae’zel took a moment to process their words. “Indeed, I see. In that case, it is wise that that scalpel-wielding bard is not currently accompanying us. Vlaakith knows his surgical skills are nothing more than mere talk, given his removal of Tav’s eye.” 

“... Is that a joke?” Astarion asked, dumbfounded at Lae’zel’s choice of deadpan delivery amid such a dire discussion.   

“Do not look so surprised shka'keth, I am considered most humorous amongst my people.” 

“You know what?” Wyll butt in, “That, I do believe.” 

 Astarion scoffed. “Well, perhaps, Lae’zel could use her humor to cheer Tav up. Unless any of you have any other ideas?” 

“I think perhaps it would be better for us to sit Tav down for a heart-to-heart. Remind them how much they mean to us.” The Blade of Frontiers did not beat around the bush. 

“I agree,” Halsin seconded. “Perhaps the message coming from us all would be better received than it was coming from me alone.” 

“It’s worth a try,” Karlach agreed. “Gods know we care about them. And there’s no way we would have gotten this far without them.” 

“The tiefling is right. Tav may be istik, but they are still our leader.” Lae’zel spoke up, roused by her companions' sudden ire. “We have a duty to them to finish this, to cleanse these parasites from our bodies and destroy The Absolute.”

Shadowheart sighed, before righting herself and walking over to Lae’zel’s side. “If Lae’zel’s in, then I might as well join. Wyll, what about you? Up for an intervention?” 

Wyll looked at Karlach, catching her eye. Following a triumphant smirk from Karlach, the duo nodded their respective affirmations before joining Halsin, Astarion, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart where they stood. 

And that just left…

“Gale? Care to join us? Or will you be too busy pinning over your ex-goddess girlfriend?” Astarion ribbed. 

Gale shook his head, Astarion’s antics not being a new experience for him at all. 

“I’m not pining, and, even if I were, Tav is much more important at the moment. Why, in fact,” Gale’s voice got quieter, more serious, “Some nights I fear I would give up The Weave, hells, even eternity if it meant Tav would be happy.” 

No one else said anything in response, they didn't need to. It was clear to all of them, that they all loved Tav deeply, even on the days, or weeks Tav couldn't find any love for themselves. 

“Do you think Tav would be done bathing by now? Not that I’d mind getting a little peak, though I’m not sure how they’d feel about that.” Astarion mused. 

“Astarion,” Wyll warned.

“I’m only kidding. Mostly.” 

“I’m sure they’ll be back shortly. Let us prepare what we wish to say so that when they do arrive-” Halsin started, but was cut off by a rustling coming from just beyond the treeline. 

“Wait,” Tav’s voice cut through the air, a welcome bit of color amidst an otherwise chilly night, “Who’s arriving?” 

“Tav!” The companions turned in shock, feeling sheepish, as if they had just been caught in the act. 

“We were hoping you’d return soon,” Shadowheart admitted. 

“There are some things we’d like to discuss,” Gale added. 

Tav pinched the bridge of their nose. “Dammit Astarion, did you go around trying to bite everyone again? We’ve talked about this.” They let out an exasperated sigh. 

“What? Why-?! How dare you accuse me of such a thing!” Astarion puffed his chest up, making himself appear larger. “I’ll have you know we were actually discussing-” 

“We’re worried about you soldier,” Karlach interrupted Astarion’s indignant outburst. “We see how hard this has been on you, on all of us.” 

“We want you to know,” Wyll continued the sentiment for her, “That we care about you. And whatever hardships you endure, we’ll endure them with you.” 

“Oh.” 

Their companion’s words stopped Tav dead in their tracks. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. And um, that’s really sweet of you. It’s just,” Tav frowned, “How do I put this? Um… As far as The Absolute and the Mindflayers are concerned, I’m grateful for your help, I am, really. But there are just some things that are-”

“Private,” Astarion finished for Tav. He walked over to Tav, before lowering his voice, speaking only to them. “I think you know,” he whispered, his expression suddenly melancholy, “Better than anyone, why each one of us knows how you feel.” 

And with that, the damn burst, Tav simply couldn't hold it in any longer. 

Their face contorted. They bit their lip before their mouth turned upside down, their nose wrinkled, and their eyes began to water. 

“It’s just been so hard!” Tav cried, their own voice barely more than a whisper. “And just when I think things are okay, that I’m finally better, it all just comes crashing down around me again!” Tav sobbed, their arms dropping to their sides in defeat. 

Moving to comfort them, Astarion placed a tentative hand on their shoulder, gently patting Tav with a ‘there-there’. His eyes darted back to his companions, a begging, uncomfortable look evident on his face. 

Karlach moved first, coming to Tav’s side opposite Astarion. Despite her engine being temporarily fixed, she knew her skin was still hot to the touch. Still, Karlach hoped her closeness would be its own comfort. 

“We’ve got you soldier.” Karlach wrapped the end of her tiefling tail around Tav’s calf. “Just let it all out, it’s okay.” 

Tav sobbed even harder at her words, pulling a rather flustered Astarion in for a tight embrace. 

“Ah. A little help over here!” Astarion whispered harshly past Tav’s ear, their face wedged between his arms and chest, and their tears and snot beginning to dampen his shoulder. 

Shadowheart chuckled, amused that despite him being such a flirt when he wanted, Astaron was still rather unfamiliar with the more platonic, or should she say, non-sexual forms of intimacy. “Step aside.”

Moving over to the huddle sandwich that was Astarion, Tav, and Karlach, Shadowheart wedged her way in between Astarion and Tav. “Just try not to drool too much on my top. It is leather after all.” 

“Tchck, Shadowheart.” Lae’zel chided. She walked over to the huddle, standing a safe six inches away, her arms crossed and brows furrowed. “Clothes are meaningless compared to a fellow soldier.” 

“I’m surprised I find myself agreeing, but Shadowheart, Lae’zel does have a point,” Gale concluded. “Tav’s emotional state is much more important than any item of clothing, or inanimate object.” 

“Says the wizard who eats shoes,” Astarion ribbed from under his breath. 

Gale clicked his tongue at the vampire spawn’s remark, but otherwise paid his pale companion no mind. 

“Besides,” Gale continued, undeterred. “I can always do another load of laundry. Should you ever need a shoulder to cry on, know that mine will always be available, tears or otherwise.” 

Tav nodded, enthusiastically grateful, switching from Shadowheart’s shoulder to Gale’s. 

Sighing, as the cool purple velvet rubbed against their cheek, Tav began to slow their breathing, gaining better control of the sobs that had previously uncontrollably wracked their body. 

“We may not know exactly what it is you’re going through, but that doesn’t make you any less of a leader worthy of our time and affection,” Wyll spoke up as he came to join the hug pile. “And sharing your fears and sadness does not make you a burden, it makes you strong.” 

Tav wailed once more, nodding emphatically as they did so. Deep down, they knew all that their friends had shared to be true, but they were not able to convince themselves of it on their own. 

“And if this sadness of yours comes at the same time every month, it may indicate a hormonal condition. Should that be the case, there are many treatments and spells we can cast to ease your pain.” 

“Really?” Tav asked through sniffles. 

“Indeed,” Halsin nodded, having walked over to also join his gathered companions. “Although there is something simpler, something I always have readily available.” 

“Don’t you dare—” Astarion started. 

At the same time Lae’zel spoke her own words of protest: “Do it druid, and you may very well live to regret it.” 

Tav ignored their outbursts and instead asked Halsin what he had in mind. 

“This,” he said, before outstretching his arms and encompassing everyone in a great big bear hug. 

Squished between their dear companions, their friends, their allies in this fight, and the next, Tav, for the first time in days, began to feel truly loved. 

The world may have looked bleak and hopeless, and with a raging uterus, it may have looked even more so, but as long as Tav had their friends, they would never know true defeat. 

…

Squashed between an equally irate Githyanki and a rather sentimental wizard, Astarion wriggled, trying to break free, but to no avail. Turning his head left to face his frog-esque friend, Astarion whispered threats under his breath.  

“I say the next time he wildshapes into a bear, we put a pretty pink collar around his neck and march him into town as punishment.”

“Chk. I find that offer rather agreeable.” 

“I dunno. I rather like this kind of medicinal approach.” Karlach said, feeling overjoyed to simply be touched. 

“You know he can hear you, right?” Wyll, ever the pragmatist, spoke from across the expanse of Halsin’s broad chest in order to address Astarion. 

Halsin nodded in the affirmative upon hearing Wyll’s words.

Astarion groaned. “Well, clearly he has now!” 

“And here I thought vampires were stealthy.” Shadowheart teased. 

“Oh, trust me, darling, all of your times shall come. Count on it!” 

“Astarion?” Tav‘s muffled voice asked from where their face was squished into Gale’s chest. 

Tav managed to pull their head away from Gale’s purple robe just long enough to give Astarion their best puppy-dog-eyed look. “Be nice? Pleaseeee?” They drew out the end of the ‘please,’ innocently batting their eyes as they did so. 

“... Fine. But don’t get used to it,” Astarion resigned before tossing his hair. “I have a reputation to uphold.” 

“Mhhm,” Tav agreed, putting their face back against Gale’s velvet-covered chest. 

They knew this moment couldn’t last forever, and it certainly wouldn’t solve all their problems— mind flayers, hormones, or otherwise. But they could at least stay put like that for just a minute longer. 

Or as a matter of fact? Make that two. 

A/N 2.0: So there it is! I hope you enjoyed. This is definitely something I needed to read like two weeks ago, and also a month ago, and then the month before that lol. 

After this, we are back to our regularly scheduled programming. I will make an upcoming ask list, just so everyone is clear as to what is up and coming.

As always Please Like, but most importantly, REBLOG!!!

(Reblogs mean more than Likes because they project my work to a larger audience.)

And If you like my work, Consider Buying Me A Coffee <3. 

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

[artifacts-and-arthropods]

This is Jinx: my brother found her after she was abandoned at a local park, but he scooped her up and brought her home; she has a neurological disorder that impairs her ability to walk properly, and thanks to a birth defect, she doesn't have any teeth

In addition to the neurological disorder and the dental defect, Jinx also has some minor deformities in one of her eyes, her tail is kinked, she's a runt, and she apparently had a botched spay procedure at some point in her life. She's mostly just heart-stoppingly adorable, though.

Here is a video of her trying to be ferocious:

My brother brought her home about three years ago, after he found her sitting in the parking lot of a local park. When he first approached her, she tried to run away, but she immediately fell over and then struggled to get back up again. My brother just assumed that she was injured, so he scooped her up and carried her back home.

When we took her to the vet, we learned that she wasn't injured, but that her balance issues are likely the result of a disorder known as cerebellar hypoplasia (CH), which is sometimes referred to as "wobbly cat syndrome." It's a developmental disorder in which the cerebellum (the part of the brain that controls movement and balance) fails to develop properly in utero. The disorder affects her ability to stand, walk, jump, etc.

Cats with CH can have mild, moderate, or severe disabilities, but Jinx's impairments are on the mild/moderate side of that scale -- she can walk, but she is very uncoordinated, and she frequently staggers, sways, or tips over, especially when she's startled or in distress. She then has a lot of trouble regaining control of her limbs and getting back up again, which sort of makes her look like a "fainting goat." It's hard for her to keep her head steady, so she repeatedly "bops" her nose against anything that she's trying to sniff or eat.

The bobbing motion means that she is a very messy eater, and that issue is made even worse by the fact that she doesn't have any teeth and she generally forgets to close her mouth. Her toothlessness is the result of another congenital defect known as oligodontia, meaning that her teeth failed to develop, aside from a couple of tiny, mishapen "toothlets" near the front of her mouth.

She also seems to have had a botched spay procedure at some point, because there's evidence that another vet attempted to spay her (and she has the scar to prove it) but she still goes into heat at erratic intervals, and it seems to cause her much more distress than you'd normally see in a healthy cat. Our veterinarian suspects that the person who performed her surgery accidentally left behind some of the ovarian tissue, thereby wreaking havoc on her hormones.

Given the circumstances, we're pretty sure that someone deliberately abandoned her. The lot in which she was found is located in the middle of a very large park, and it's surrounded by several acres of pine forest, densely packed thickets, thorns, tall grass, and muddy terrain. Given her mobility issues, there's no way that she could have traversed all of those obstacles on her own, especially not without getting at least a little bit disheveled and dirty, but her fur was still clean and well-groomed when we found her...which means that someone must have driven her there and then left.

She's an absolute sweetheart, though. She has some peculiar habits, but she is still incredibly affectionate. She literally comes running to greet me every time I open my bedroom door, and she does the same thing with my brother.

She always sleeps next to my Dad at night, too, and as soon as he goes to bed, she follows him in and says "goodnight" to him by snuggling up to his neck, kneading his shoulder, and kissing his face (tho her kisses are kind of messy, because the toothlessness means that she drools a lot and almost always leaves her mouth hanging open).

Edit: Jinx was diagnosed with CH, but there's a possibility that her symptoms are the result of a congenital vestibular dysfunction instead, because both disorders are known to cause issues with balance, movement, and posture, but she has some symptoms that are more closely associated with CH, and others that are more closely associated with vestibular disorders. CH is still the likelier culprit, tho.

[sophieinwonderland]

Debunking r/systemscringe's DID Lies!

For those who aren't aware, r/systemscringe is an ableist hate subreddit, and is one of the greatest sources of misinformation about dissociative disorders and plurality on the internet.

Today, I'd like to go over some of their most prominent excuses for fakeclaiming DID and OSDD systems, and why those reasons are contradicted by actual research by actual psychiatrists.

"Alters Can't Talk To Each Other"

This is one of the most easily-debunked lies I've seen to excuse fakeclaiming. It can take a few different forms. But generally, when a system talks about speaking to their alters, r/systemscringe users will say that it's impossible and that DID doesn't work like that.

This isn't just a little false. It completely contradicts all known research into DID.

Hearing voices of alters is directly mentioned in the DSM-5 as a symptom.

This isn't even uncommon. Voce hearing is more common in DID than in schizophrenia, experienced in about 80% of cases of dissociative disorders.

Now, it does need to be noted that just because 80% do, that doesn't mean it's true of everyone. 20% is still a big number, and systems who can't communicate internally are still valid.

But the fact of the matter is that most systems can communicate this way.

"You Need (Years of) Therapy to be Able to Communicate With Alters"

Failing the first one, another popular claim is that alters can't possibly communicate without therapy. Usually, people will claim this requires "years" of therapy to build communication.

So is this true?

Turns out, not in the slightest. In fact, in a study comparing DID voice hearers to schizophrenic voice hearers, it was found that 90% of the DID voice hearers started hearing voices before the age of 18.

This is in comparison to a Schizophrenic group that consisted of 28% without maltreatment and 38% with maltreatment that started before the age of 18.

Given that DID notoriously takes years to get correctly diagnosed with and most patients aren't diagnosed until adulthood, it should be obvious that most of these 90% didn't have to undergo years of therapy before being able to hear the voices of their alters.

"Alters Can't Be Friends"

Let's be 100% clear here. Dissociative Identity Disorder is absolutely a disorder. It couldn't be diagnosed if it didn't come with some level of distress or impairment. That's a fundamental part of the criteria.

But when that same study I posted above asked the DID and Schizophrenic groups if they would miss the voices if they were gone, a huge 69% of the DID group said they would.

The truth is that DID is more complicated and nuanced than "having alters bad."

Sometimes the distress or impairment has less to do with the other alters and more to do with the other dissociative symptoms, such as the DP/DR and the amnesia.

And sometimes, you can have positive relationships with some alters and negative relationships with others. And yes, there is that 31% who say they wouldn't miss hearing their alters if they no longer heard them. That's valid too.

But this does show that a majority of DID systems do feel a close attachment to the other alters in their systems.

"Systems Can't Control When They Switch"

Like above, this is nuanced. The truth is some systems can't control switching. Others can only control it some of the time. And some have full control.

There has actually been a study on a DID patient voluntarily switching in and MRI machine:

This study literally couldn't have been done were it not possible to voluntarily switch.

"Fictives Aren't Real"

Okay, now let's tackle one of the biggest lies to justify fakeclaiming. Fictional introjects or "Fictives" are alters or headmates based on fictional characters. r/systemscringe and other fakeclaimers love to fakeclaim systems for being fictive heavy or even having any fictives at all.

And like most of r/systemscringe's claims, this is nonsense. Here is one account of fictives from 1988.

Furthermore, in the book The Haunted Self, which is responsible for the Theory of Structural Dissociation of the Personality, one case study is referenced of someone who had many fictives based off of Start Trek characters.

This also serves to debunk other reasons for fakeclaiming I've seen from r/systemscringe. That a system has too many fictive, is all fictives, or that their fictives all come from the same source. Because as we see above, this is a very real documented presentation of dissociative identity disorder.

Closing:

I'm likely not done with this post. I plan to add to this list of misinformation that I've seen repeatedly peddled by the hate subreddit and used to justify attacking systems. There is A LOT there!

But here's the bottom line. r/systemcringe is a hate sub peddling division and bigotry against systems... often for normal system things that have been well-documented in academic literature.

If you're here from r/systemscringe, I'm sure you've seen all or most of the above lies I debunked above posted there. And if you're a system, I would ask you why you would stand by a subreddit that so blatantly spreads misinformation about other systems with the intent of hurting them? With the intent of hurting people like you?

Because if you think that they're your friends, I have watched them turn on systems that joined in with their fakeclaiming so many times, and fakeclaiming fellow members of that subreddit. And I can promise that they will turn on you too.

Click here for my debunk of their claims that endogenic systems are a "conspiracy theory."

[dandysworldhcs]

I have so many headcanons on their designs and such so just bear with me

- I honestly see Astro as a sort of centipede, a nocturnal arthropod that is actually pretty chill if you don't antagonize them. I also see him as having ADHD combined with narcolepsy, he's always moving his hands underneath his blanket and his mind is always racing despite constantly being fatigued.

- Razzle and Dazzle are rats, why? The rat king phenomenon! This is one of my only voice headcanons but they sound like ENA, specifically the newer one

- Dandy is a False Dandelion. I also base my design of him on a Ammit, which has the head of a crocodile, the upper body of a lion, and the lower body of a hippo, his Twisted form reflects this the most. I also see Dandy as bigender. Him and Sprout are also brothers with Sprout being the older one.

- Speaking of Sprout, I honestly see him acting like a MMO healer while on runs (Examples; “No, I'm not out of tapes, I just don't like you”, “If you get in the way you deserve to get hit”, “You got one shot, I can't out-heal stupidity”.)

- Shelly has other dino features, although it's actually based on cephalopod’s using tools, her tentacles hold onto replicas of fossils that give her the illusion of having a tail, horns, etc, and she can change them out. Also she has ADHD, she just matches the symptoms more instead of autism (Autistic and even AuDHD Shelly's are valid tho).

- Vee has high functioning ASPD that's comorbid with Autism, yes I did as much research as possible as to not demonize either, but I personally see her with these two disorders, as due to being a robot she doesn't feel complex emotions and has a weak sense of right and wrong (outside of her programming, that is), she doesn't feel guilty for being blunt, rude, or for not noticing others feelings, but she does try to make up for it if someone points it out, even if she doesn't feel bad about it.

- Pebble is a Toy Poodle, and Coal is a Saint Bernard, with Pebble being a service animal and Coal being a search and rescue mountain dog, in the cartoon they were both used to show kids how dogs can help people outside of being companions, that service dogs shouldn't be distracted or pet without permission, and that they shouldn't be scared of working dogs in certain situations no matter how big or intimidating they seem. Also they're very much ‘Old dog, young dog' dynamic.

- Shrimpo has low functioning ASPD and struggles to hide his symptoms. No pronouns and AroAce.

- Gigi is a chameleon, simply because chameleons will grab onto whatever you hand them, self explanatory.

- Goob and Scraps are chimeras instead of being a dog and a cat, Looey is their oldest sibling, no reason for this, it just showed up in my mind and I can't get rid of it, Goob and Scraps honorary circus members as a result. Goob also has Ataxia (Impaired balance and coordination, specifically in his arms, which causes clumsy movements) and Hypotropia (downward facing misaligned eye) which causes weaker vision in his ‘lazy’ eye.

I'm going to stop now because I'm just rambling at this point.

- Wisteria Anon (if that isn't taken just yet)

These are all so interestiing... especially the rnd one I have literally never seen that one proposed before !! Little rat rnd d'awww..

I'm also very much an ataxia & hypotropia Goob enjoyer, as well as the Coal & Pebs one... these are so neat!

[aritsukemo]

S/o who tends to skip meals | Multiple Characters

Characters: Sunny, Basil, Aubrey, and Hero

Warnings: Depictions of possible eating disorders. Reader shows symptoms of depression ( Sunny and Basil ). Reader purposefully starves themself ( Aubrey ). Stressed out reader ahead ( Hero ). With all that said, read at your own risk!

A/N: Thought I'd post something Omori related while I was in school. This particular scenario has been in my drafts for over a year ( so bare with me if the writing sucks more ass than usual ) and I was never able to finish it over on Wattpad so I thought, "Why not just post the completed ones over here?". Also I must, again, apologize for the writing. I wrote this when I wasn't in the best headspace so it's probably blander than usual- 😅

Sunny stares at your retreating form with a frown on his face. This is the—what? Fourth time this week that you've skipped out on your lunch? He knows this not because you've told him ( You'd never tell him about something like this ) but because of his own observations.

At first, he thought you simply didn't want what was served to you that day or something, but after today, seeing you reject one of your favorite meals, he knew something had to be up.

And so, he grabbed your plate and followed after you.

 "Uhm..Sunny, why are you following me?" You asked, now sitting down on the steps that led up to your front door, as you looked back at him. Sunny doesn't answer you and instead walks up to you, sits down beside you, and silently offers you your plate full of food that you hadn't eaten.

 "Oh, that's why.." You eye the large serving of food with a look of discomfort that you try your best to hide. Even with it's pleasant-smelling aroma, you have no will to eat. To be completely honest, you barely had the energy to come sit out here—hell, you barely even got out of bed and got dressed this morning.

 "I'll eat it later," You finally say, "I had a big breakfast this morning." A lie. In actuality you didn't eat anything for breakfast this morning. You don't know why, you just..simply didn't have the appetite for it.

Sunny continues to stare at you in silence, his face baring the neutral expression you had grown used to. He still holds the plate up to you despite your rejection which makes you look away. After a moment, you feel a light tap on your shoulder. You turn back to look at him only to see him holding the utensil with a small piece of food hanging off the edge of it.

 "Thanks Sunny, but really, I'm not hungry. I'll just eat later." You say and to your surprise, he replies back in a small voice.

 "Please.." He mumbles, "Can you eat a little bit of this?"

Sunny always preferred to stay quiet and let others—mostly Kel—speak for him. It was a habit that took time for you to grow used to and now that you have, it sounds odd hearing your voice..

 "I'm not hungry.." You push but he doesn't listen, still holding the small portion of food up to your lips, waiting for you to open your mouth and consume it.

 "Please eat," He says and you end up sighing. If it were literally anyone else in the world, you would tell them no again and probably leave to avoid further conversation but since it's Sunny asking- No, pleading with you right now to eat just a few spoonfuls of food, you find it hard to refuse him..

 "Alright, fine. For you, I guess.." You say in an almost defeated tone, "But only a little. I'm not eating it all.."

With a nod of his head, Sunny quickly shoves the small amount of food into your mouth before scooping up another miniscule portion and repeating the step again, and again, and again until a quarter of the food was gone from the plate.

Huh, guess you were a little hungry after all..

"How could this have happened?" Is what you thought as you gazed at your knees which were slick from your tears.

You had just seen them not too long ago. You were just laughing, joking with them about dumb stuff you did as kids and ranting to them about everything that you've been going through recently and now, they're gone. It was hard to believe but unfortunately it was true. If the phone call from your best friend—who's voice was hoarse from crying—about the entire thing wasn't enough proof of that.

They were dead. You didn't even get the chance to say goodbye to them one last time. No one did..

A light knock sounds through your room. You just barely heard it. As you wipe your tears, you mumble a small 'come in' and the door cracks open just enough for Basil to slip in.

 "Hey.." He whispers, a sad look pasted on his face. You glance over at him, but fail to greet him back. You can't. If you tried, it probably wouldn't be coherent anyway..

Basil walks over to where you sit on the floor near your bed and sits just a bit away from you. You don't glance at him this time.

 "..I'm sorry for your loss.." He finally says. Maybe those weren't the best words to say, but that was the only comforting thing he could think of. I mean, it was better than saying nothing, right? Hopefully it was.. If not, Basil might just crawl into a hole and suffocate..

 "Uhm.. I don't know if this is related, but I noticed you haven't been eating as much as you usually do.. Not that I'm saying you eat a lot! You just normally eat more than the amount you've been eating which is..practically nothing.. But that's not important right now. I mean it is but.." Basil sighs.

Why was talking so difficult?

 "I.." Basil snaps over to look at you, who's eyes were glossed over with tears despite your best efforts to hide them. You hated burdening people, Basil especially. He already had so much to deal with after all, you wouldn't want to add onto his list of problems..

 "I'm.. I'm fine, Basil.." You murmur, your voice sounding a bit strained as you swallowed the sobs that threatened to slip from your lips. Basil's frown deepens at the sight.

 "You don't have to lie..or hide it. I can tell how sad you are.. U- Understandably so, if someone I cared about died I'd probably.." He pauses for a moment before mumbling out a small 'nevermind' under his breath.

"I know you're grieving, but you shouldn't.." He pauses again, "..I guess what I'm trying to say is.. Although you're really sad and you feel like nothing matters right now, you should still try to take care of yourself. If you don't, the feeling will only get worse and your health will go down the drain too.."

 "Of course, I can't force you to take care of yourself or anything, but if you can at least start eating again—"

 "I.. I get it," You interrupt, "And I know you're worried. I just..need some time."

Basil nods his head, "I get that, take as much time as you need. B- But not too much time, you can't go long without food.."

"You need to stop doing this," Aubrey grumbled as she attempted to hand you a plate of pizza only for you to glare at her.

"Eat," She says firmly after a while of silence, but you make no attempt to grab the plate of pizza. Irritation begins to bubble at the back of Aubrey's throat, but she swallows it back as best she can. She's been trying to work on controlling her anger lately since you aren't fond of such negative energy.

..Plus, it wouldn't be a good idea to shove this pizza slice down your throat, now would it?

A few days ago, you had gotten into a really bad fight with a family member. Arguments surfaced often in your family, but you're usually able to brush it off. This time, however, was different. Aubrey doesn't know what happened and you've refused to tell her the details. All she knows is that whatever it was, it made you so angry that you couldn't get over it and ended up losing your appetite for a couple days.

She found it rather dumb and backwards to starve yourself because you were mad, but Aubrey shouldn't be one to talk when she thinks back on all of the things she's done in the past due to the simple fact that she was upset..

"This is stupid," She ends up saying anyways, "You shouldn't take your anger out on your body because you're pissed off."

At this point you weren't even listening to her, looking back down at the page of the book you were reading as you made it obvious that you were tuning her out. The sight made Aubrey's blood boil.

"Eat the dang slice already before I make you," She threatens, but even then, you heed her no mind and continue with what you're doing.

Agh! Why were you being so difficult right now? She's actually trying to be a gentle and thoughtful girlfriend for once and you're acting like some brat! Why she outta—!

"I appreciate your concern for me, Aubrey, but I'm really not hungry right now," You flip to the next page of your book, a brief flap being heard as a result, "You can leave the plate with me and leave. I'll eat it eventually."

"I- I'm not worry about you!" Aubrey blurts out without thought, her face growing hot.

"Wow, tell me how you really feel."

"Wait! Th- That's not.. I didn't mean to, I.." Why was she getting so embarrassed over this? It's obvious that she cares, I mean, she wouldn't be here otherwise. Why couldn't she just agree with what you said and left? Or better yet, not said anything at all..

She mentally sighs. She really has to work on verbalizing her feelings more like you said..

"Ugh, whatever.. The fact is, I'm not leaving until you eat something.." She ends up grumbling out.

"Well what are you going to do until then. I'm telling you now that I won't be eating anytime.." As you glanced up from your novel, ready to solidify your point by shooting her another glare, you watched on in shock as Aubrey crawled onto your bed and up to you.

"..soon," You're finally able to finish once Aubrey settles herself beside you. You stare at her for a while with an unreasonable expression, simply trying to make sense of her actions before you finally ask, "Uhm, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She retorts, even going as far as to roll her eyes, "You said you weren't planning on eating anytime soon so I made myself comfortable. You have a problem with that?"

Oh. She was serious? You didn't think..

"No, I don't mind..I guess," You mumbled, a little embarrassed at how hot your face was just from the simple proximity. You tried your best to hide it by turning your head downwards a bit more, hoping that it would come off as you being really indulged in your book, but really, it just looked like you had bad reading posture..

"So.." Aubrey mumbles after a while of silence, "What's the book about? I noticed you've gotten pretty far so it must be at least a little interesting, right?"

"Oh? It's ( Favorite book/light novel ). It's really good, probably my favorite," Without your knowledge, a small smile begins creeping up your lips, "It has a lot of funny moments actually. Like for example, the main character and their friends did this really stupid thing where.."

You ended up talking Aubrey's ear off about the book for the rest of the afternoon. She didn't seem to mind it. In fact, she seemed pretty engaged in the conversation which was a bit surprising to you.

Rambling on and on about the things that you had already read a million times, you didn't even notice that you had subconsciously eaten the entire slice of pizza until it was gone..

Huh.. Who knew a good talk about something you enjoyed would make you work up such an appetite?

You absolutely despise sick days.

Because of two days. Because you missed two measly days because you felt under the weather, your entire day- no, your entire week has been fucked.

Assignment on top of assignment on top of assignment on top of a ten-thousand word essay, on top of a multi-step project that's all due in a few days. And that's only for one class! You knew it was a bad idea to lay in bed all day not doing anything, especially when you're a college student nearing the end of the year, but you had felt so bad the days prior you couldn't help yourself..

And now, you're stuck at your desk, writing away. Even though you've been at it since early this morning, you've only managed to finish one-third of all your work. This may be because you haven't eaten anything all day and your body hasn't fully recovered from being sick, but it's whatever. You don't have time to worry about yourself right now anyway..

 "Hey, babe!" Hero chimed as he walked into your room. Normally, you would've replied with a small 'Hey' or something, but today, you didn't even glance at him much less speak.

"Uhm..babe?" He calls again only to get the same response; silence. It makes him frown at first, but as soon as he notices your open computer and the small stack of papers on the side of you, his frown straightens out a little.

"Would you like some help?" He walks closer, "I don't know much about this subject in particular, but I can at least.." Hero words fail as a rather loud and embarrassing gurgle erupts from your stomach--a little drawn out as it pleads with you to feed it.

 "Y/n," Hero calls out, a little more firmly this time, "Have you eaten yet?" For the first time today, you finally force your eyes away from the notes you're writing and glance over at your boyfriend, who was staring at you with furrowed brows and eyes filled with worry.

It almost makes you hesitant to lie to him. Almost. You shake your head yes.

 "Are you lying?" He asks, and this time, you decide not to answer him and instead look away from him, focusing back on the assignment at hand. Hero sighs.

 "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't do this again.." He mumbles, resisting to spew out the lecture that sits on his tongue. You already seemed stressed out as is, he shouldn't make things worse.

And so, he turns and leaves. You don't know how long he was gone for nor did he tell you where you went, but he made it obvious of his return when he gently snatched your papers away from you and replaced it with a brown paper bag that had the logo of your favorite fast food joint on it.

 "I'll give this back to you when you finish eating," He says and you fix your lips to argue with him. You can't afford to take a break after all. If you do now, you'll never get this done in time..

 "These are just notes, right?" He clarifies as he grabs your laptop with his free hand, lifting it off your desk with ease, "If so, I can finish this up while you eat."

 "But.." You mumble out, but that's all you really have the energy of saying. With your stomach aching, a hunger headache pounding against your skull, and the delicious smell of food taunting you, you can't really do anything besides sigh, nod, and take the food out of the bag.

As you take the first bite and the flavor hits your tongue, you hum in satisfaction before taking another bite and repeating the cycle. As this goes on, Hero watches you with a smile on his face, eventually having to force himself to look away so that he can focus on the computer screen that shines brightly in his face.

Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

Genuine question, how does one deal with someone being so insistent on their lack of (self-)worth? Not to vent too much, but I grew up with someone who was at least as bad, if not worse than Ragatha. I developed similar habits (this comic is a painful reminder of that) and my friends also tend to struggle with these feelings. But I never know how to deal with these issues, and it just leaves me feeling helpless.

I believe you‘re not a psychologist and it‘s fine if you don‘t want to answer this. But if you do have some advice or resources on this topic, I‘d love to know about it.

hi !

you're right , i am Not a psychologist ! my only credential is pretty much having it as my special interest of many years , so ... ! obligatory ' take this with a grain of salt ' disclaimer

i'm only answering this ask because i do like talking about these kinds of stuff ( in fact i'm in the middle of writing another psychology infographic with ragatha because of Course i am , ) and it's Relevant right now ... but for the most part i am literally just a stranger on the internet and thus i'll only be giving out general advice !! any specifics of the situation are stuff you'll need to figure out yourself

number one thing is that you should Always Take Care Of Yourself . it may be hard to admit , but these types of people can actually be Emotionally Draining - and i'm saying that as someone who had to deal with those people myself . and well you don't want to accidentally say things that make them feel worse

second thing is that a lot of it is ... really the other person's effort . all you can do is be supportive and gently encourage them . what took me so long to accept is that no amount of words or compliments will lift someone's self-esteem up - while it helps , it really has to come from Within , and that's something that'll take months or Years to build up . you can't force someone to start loving themself - and that's a hard pill to swallow

and the third thing is that ... well . there's a possibility that it could be a symptom of a mental disorder and thus you should encourage them to seek professional help . i am aware that the option is not available for everyone though , but i think recognizing that it might be a mental problem might take the burden off of you a little - as they're not really things a non-professional should handle .

as for resources , this article was extensive about this topic , including recognizing where the low self-esteem comes from , what Not to say to someone with low self-esteem , and tips that'll help the person ! very wonderful to read .

this article is for partners but i think it applies to people you're close with in general . what i like about it is how it Encourages open communication and listening . something you'll realize is that it's Different for everybody and it's good to learn more about the problem than jumping to a hasty solution or making assumptions . also it encourages them to talk more about their Feelings and talking about your feelings is what Very Cool And Hot People Do !

oh God sorry for the long post this should be enough to give me a diagnosis -

[l-in-the-light]

About Trafalgar Law and his vitiligo

Feel free to ignore this post if you so wish, but I chose to speak up on this matter. I have seen so many fanarts that portray Law with his white skin patches, often looking like a dalmatian and it bothers me. Are you all aware that animal-like patterns for vitiligo are considered insulting? And you all might look at me weirdly now and ask "how can something so cute/wholesome/unique possibly be bothersome to anyone?!" Read further on your own risk, slight tmi.

Law's disease is of course fictional. Visually it looks the closest to vitiligo, but it has a lot in common with autoimmune skin diseases as well. I happen to know how it's like to live with a skin disease. Meds for my condition aren't really for curing anything, they just make the symptoms dimnish, but in return they leave white patches on my skin that are resistant to tanning for a long while (also those meds are very dangerous for your kidneys apparently if used too often, as a side note). Why would anyone use them? Well, because it's a hereditary skin condition: it never goes away and there's no way to cure it, those meds are literally the only thing that does anything. I just get lucky whenever symptoms aren't visible for some time until they inevitably come back anyway. And believe me, this isn't "wholesome", "cute" or "unique" to have discolored skin patches. You all probably have no idea (why would you have anyway, it's natural that you don't) how it's like in summer, when you go on a bus or tram, you wear a t-shirt because it's freaking hot and you can't hide under the clothes or you risk melting or fainting. And people see your discolored skin or red patches on your skin. You know how they react? They stare at your hands/arms and then they move away. That's the default reaction whenever your skin looks unusual. People would rather move away, just in case it's something contagious. They will also stare, a lot, and you can feel it's judgemental, even though my condition is in no way my own fault (or anyone else's who also has it), thank you very much.

That being said, I doubt Law would be happy parading openly with white patches visible on his skin. Most people wouldn't realize that's it's just a leftover from his old, cured disease. They would simply assume what people always assume: that it's something contagious. Evidence below, if you need it:

And Law's reaction to their reaction:

He doesn't look very happy, of course.

People would isolate him, avoid him and *stare* disrespectfully at him like he's a weird specimen, at best. Law would quickly learn to hide it under his clothes, long sleeves, long pants, gloves etc. No one truly wants to attract negative attention like this, especially not someone who already went through a lot of traumatic experiences, like Law. And sure, as a child he didn't really hide it:

But take into account those are the clothes he was wearing ever since Flevance happened. He didn't have any other clothes. As soon as he's accepted as part of Doflamingo's family he starts to wear different ones, and he covers up the spots on his arms by wearing long sleeves:

And oh boy, I can totally relate to that.

Sure, in ideal world, no one would assume Law has a disease just because his skin is discolored. But we're not living in ideal world. Some people, just like me, have hereditary skin conditions and feel bothered by fanarts that exoticize skin disease or skin disorder. Yeah sure, why does it matter, Law is a fictional character with fictional disease, right? But vitiligo is very similar to this and is a real condition which is part of life of real people. Those aren't freckles that are just cute and make you look unique (and some people might have freckles and still hate the extra attention drawn towards it, and it's valid if they feel like that!).

Just wanted to get that off my chest. I don't need sympathy for my disease, this is not why I wrote this post. I just wish people would realize that by drawing a vitiligo Law they're toying with a lot of emotional baggage there, please treat it respectfully. Maybe one day the world will be wholesome enough to think of it as normal (normal, not fetishized, ugly, contagious or exotic!), but I assure you it still doesn't. If you think it's just a "me" thing, check out this blog: https://www.tumblr.com/vitiligo-is-not-a-trend/765530242896003072 and many other posts of theirs. Not everyone with skin conditions might react the same way, but keep in mind people with actual vitiligo and skin diseases can and often will be really sensitive about it, and for a good reason.

Yes, that being said I also think it's wholesome if Luffy accepts vitiligo spots on Law easily like it's not a big deal, especially in comparison to the rest of the world which would fear him instead. It's definitely something Luffy would do. But that's completely different from fetishizing it. Please, you're stepping on a thin line here, tumblr.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

VERY LONG SUBMISSION SORRY I HAVE A LOT TO SAY

SELF DIAGNOSED "I'M SO NICE" NPD CULTURE IS. LITERALLY ALWAYS KNOWING YOU HAD SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU. BUT SOCIETY HAS SPOONFED YOU THE PROPAGANDISTIC IDEALS OF NARC DEMONISATION SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE FRESH OUT THE WOMB, SO EVEN THOUGH YOU PERSONALLY BELIEVED YOU DIDN'T DEMONISE NPD, YOU NEVER ONCE CONSIDERED HAVING IT BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS TOLD YOURSELF "I DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE NPD, I'M WAY TOO NICE FOR THAT!"

BUT YOU STILL KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU. CLUSTER B PERSONALITY DISORDER SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.

"HEY WAIT, I SEEM TO RELATE TO BPD EXPERIENCES!!! THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!"

IT WAS NOT BPD. THE THINGS I FOUND RELATABLE WERE JUST GENERAL CLUSTER B SYMPTOMS OR EXPLAINABLE BY SOMETHING ELSE.

SEVERE IDENTITY ISSUES? JUST NPD.

HAVING A FP AND PLACING YOUR SELF WORTH AND EMOTIONAL STATE IN THEM? ANY PERSONALITY DISORDER CAN HAVE A FP.

SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS? IT'S PROBABLY NPD WHEN I'M MET WITH DIRECT CRITICISM / RUDENESS / AND I FEEL INSANELY OFFENDED OR ATTACKED AND INSTINCTIVELY AND UNCONTROLLABLY GET SUPER DEFENSIVE AND COMBATIVE AND GRASP AT ANYTHING I CAN TO "GET BACK" AT THEM TO COPE WITH FEELING LIKE I JUST GOT FUCKING STABBED IN THE CHEST

FEAR OF ABANDONMENT? CHILDHOOD UPBRINGING + TRAUMA LOL ALSO IT CRUSHES MY EGO BADLY THAT PEOPLE FIND ME SO INSUFFERABLE THAT THEY NEVER WANT TO TALK TO ME AGAIN SO LOWKEY NPD TOO

SUICIDAL THREATS? UMM OK SO THIS IS AN ENTIRE STORYTIME FOR ANOTHER SUBMISSION SO JUST. GO FIND IT FROM MY ANON SIGNOFF TAG IF YOU'RE CURIOUS. TLDR I WAS 10 AND PLAYING ROYALE HIGH 💀

BLACK AND WHITE THINKING? AUTISM. OR POSSIBLY NPD

"WOW, I FEEL LIKE I RELATE A LOT TO HPD SYMPTOMS!!!! I MUST HAVE BOTH BPD AND HPD!"

HPD IS BARELY TALKED ABOUT EVEN IN PD SPACES, THE DSM CRITERIA FOR IT IS VAGUE AND UNSPECIFIC AND WACKY MAKING IT DIFFICULT TO ACCURATELY SELF DIAGNOSE IT (OR EVEN ACCURATELY DIAGNOSE IT IN GENERAL), AND ALL OF MY HPD SYMPTOMS CAN BE EXPLAINED BY SOMETHING ELSE.

UNSTABLE EMOTIONS? LITERALLY JUST CLUSTER B AND AUTISM.

ATTENTION SEEKING + TWEAKING WHEN NO ATTENTION? MOSTLY JUST NPD, BUT COULD ALSO BE SOMEWHAT CATALYSTED BY MY INSANELY EXTROVERTED, OUTGOING AND SOCIALLY DEPENDENT PERSONALITY.

DRAMATIC BEHAVIOUR? I HAVE MANY OUTBURSTS OR EPISODES OF LOSING MY SHIT BECAUSE OF A COMBINATION OF TRAUMA, AUTISM, AND JUST BEING CLUSTER B.

EXAGGERATED AND OVER-THE-TOP PERSONA? THAT IS LITERALLY JUST THE ARTIFICIAL PERSONA I MOLDED MYSELF INTO BECAUSE MY NPD THOUGHT IT'D MAKE EVERYONE LOVE ME BUT MY NPD SWEARS THIS IS THE REAL ME EVEN THOUGH I'M JUST FABRICATING MY PERSONALITY TO BE CLOSER TO THE IDEALISED ME I HAVE IN MY HEAD.

HAVING "STRONG OPINIONS" THAT ARE MALLEABLE AND DEPENDENT ON THOSE AROUND ME? PROBABLY A COMBINATION OF BEING AN FE DOMINANT IN TYPOLOGY (THIS MEANS MY MORALS AND DECISIONS ARE BASED ON HOW SOMETHING AFFECTS OTHERS) AND BEING LOW EMPATHY + COMPASSION (SOMETIMES I CAN'T UNDERSTAND OR CARE FOR HOW SOMETHING WILL AFFECT OTHERS, BUT I TRY AND GUESS / ASSUME WHAT THE RIGHT THING TO DO IS ANYWAYS BECAUSE I'M A GOOD PERSON) *SORRY FOR THE TYPOLOGY MENTION IN A PSYCHOLOGICAL CONTEXT I THINK MANY PEOPLE FUCKING HATE THAT IN PSYCHOLOGY/MENTAL HEALTH SPACES I DON'T TREAT IT LIKE ASTROLOGY OKAY? 😭 I JUST THINK IT'S A GREAT TOOL TO EXPLAIN AND CATEGORISE THE ASPECTS OF YOUR PERSONALITY UNRELATED TO MENTAL ILLNESS OR TRAUMA SINCE EVERY TYPOLOGY SYSTEM IS UNIQUE

THE HPD SELF DIAGNOSIS WAS ON A WHIM BTW I WAS REALLY STUPID ABOUT THAT .. ☹️ I HEARD "PDS ARE VERY COMMONLY COMORBID" AND I TOOK THAT AND JUST DIAGNOSED MYSELF WITH WHATEVER I FOUND SLIGHTLY RELATABLE. I SAW A VID OF SOMEONE WITH HPD TALKING ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCE + THEY MENTIONED SOMETHING LIKE "WE HAVE A GOD COMPLEX BUT WE HATE OURSELVES AT THE SAME TIME" WHICH HELPED ME COME TO TERMS WITH MY EGO AND GRANDIOSITY (WHILE STILL THINKING IT WAS BPD AND HPD), SO I SELF DIAGNOSED MYSELF WITH NPD TOO . WHILE ONLY DOING THE BARE MINIMUM OF RESEARCH 😟 LIKE OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T THINK NPD WAS Symptoms: Kills people, eats babies, manipulates everyone, takes over the world, is ONLY CAPABLE of feeling EVIL and can NEVER be kind EVER, CAUSE I WAS CONSCIOUSLY ACCEPTING OF PWNPD EVEN THOUGH I HAD SOME DEMONISATION STILL SUBCONSCIOUSLY INTERNALISED BECAUSE OF WHAT SOCIETY SPOONFEEDS US + ABSOLUTELY NOBODY IS 100% FREE OF AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT OF SUBCONSCIOUS INTERNALISED BIGOTRY BUT I BASICALLY HAD JUST JUMPED THE GUN

AFTER A WHILE I LOWKEY REALISED THAT BPD AND HPD DID NOT SEEM TO FIT ME . AND I UNDIAGNOSED MYSELF WITH NPD TOO CAUSE THE TWO MISDIAGNOSES MADE ME ASSUME I DIDN'T HAVE A PD AT ALL. SO I HAD A SHORT PERIOD OF "DAMN I GUESS I DON'T HAVE ANY DISORDERS THAT EXPLAIN WHY I'M SO FUCKED UP AND INSANE AND MENTALLY UNWELL"

BEFORE I FOUND OUT MY FP HAD NPD. AND I WAS LIKE "WAIT, REALLY? BUT THEY'RE SO NICE TO ME... HONESTLY, IT MAKES SENSE". AND THAT MOTIVATED ME TO ACTUALLY DO RESEARCH ON NPD BECAUSE THIS TOLD ME I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT ENOUGH. I WANTED TO UNDERSTAND THEM.

THAT WAS BASICALLY HOW I STARTED TO REALISE I HAD NPD. I TRIED DENYING A LOT OF CORRELATIONS . AND I NEVER SUSPECTED I HAD NPD FOR YEARS BECAUSE THE COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS HAD NORMALISED SO MANY THINGS TO ME + I QUITE UNSUCCESSFULLY TRIED BOTTLING UP THINGS I THOUGHT WERE MEAN (WHICH BASICALLY MADE ME BELIEVE I'M SECRETLY AN AWFUL PERSON AND NOBODY KNOWS IT) . I THOUGHT MY GRANDIOSE FANTASIES WERE NORMAL UNTIL I WAS LIKE 15. I THOUGHT NEVER BEING ABLE TO COMPREHEND YOU'RE IN THE WRONG BUT PRETENDING YOU DO AND APOLOGISING TO "DO THE RIGHT THING" WAS NORMAL. I THOUGHT MY LEVEL OF EMPATHY WAS NORMAL. I THOUGHT MY JEALOUSY AND ENVY WERE NNORMAL. I NEVER WORDED MY THOUGHTS OF CONTEMPT AND SUPERIORITY TO OTHERS IN A WAY THAT WAS LIKE "HEH... YOU'RE SO PATHETIC.... I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU" IT WAS MORE LIKE "LOL I'M _ AND THEY'RE NOT" SO IT WASN'T OBVIOUS TO ME THAT THIS WASN'T NORMAL . BUT WHEN I DID WORD IT THAT WAY, I DIDN'T THINK I WAS A NARC I JUST THOUGHT I WAS SECRETLY AN ASSHOLE 😭 I SERIOUSLY NEVER THOUGHT MY KINDNESS HAD SELFISH INTENTIONS I THOUGHT IT WAS NORMAL TO ONLY BE NICE FOR PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU ┛◠ ┛ ANYWAYS IT'S 2025 AND I AM NO LONGER BLINDED BY BIAS OR DELUSION COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MY PROBLEM IS NPD!!!!!!!!! AND LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE I THINK . I AM 16 AND GONNA "TRY TO GET DIAGNOSED" SOON (NOT GOING TO EVER SAY "I THINK I HAVE NPD". I'M GONNA SPECIFICALLY MENTION ALL MY NARC TRAITS TO MY THERAPIST AND WORD THEM IN A VERY TEXTBOOK NPD WAY WITHOUT EVER LYING I'M JUST GOING OUT OF MY WAY TO TELL THE TRUTH AND WORDING IT IN A STEREOTYPICAL NPD WAY)

THX 4 READING I LOAV U (^з^)-☆Chu!!

— 🍋‍🟩🍃

[pt: very long submission sorry i have a lot to say

self diagnosed "i'm so nice" npd culture is. literally always knowing you had something wrong with you. but society has spoonfed you the propagandistic ideals of narc demonisation since the day you were fresh out the womb, so even though you personally believed you didn't demonise npd, you never once considered having it because you always told yourself "i definitely don't have npd, i'm way too nice for that!"

but you still knew there was something seriously fucking wrong with you. cluster b personality disorder sounds about right.

"hey wait, i seem to relate to bpd experiences!!! this is what's wrong with me!"

it was not bpd. the things i found relatable were just general cluster b symptoms or explainable by something else.

severe identity issues? just npd.

having a fp and placing your self worth and emotional state in them? any personality disorder can have a fp.

sudden mood swings? it's probably npd when i'm met with direct criticism / rudeness / and i feel insanely offended or attacked and instinctively and uncontrollably get super defensive and combative and grasp at anything i can to "get back" at them to cope with feeling like i just got fucking stabbed in the chest

fear of abandonment? childhood upbringing + trauma lol also it crushes my ego badly that people find me so insufferable that they never want to talk to me again so lowkey npd too

suicidal threats? umm ok so this is an entire storytime for another submission so just. go find it from my anon signoff tag if you're curious. tldr i was 10 and playing royale high 💀

black and white thinking? autism. or possibly npd

"wow, i feel like i relate a lot to hpd symptoms!!!! i must have both bpd and hpd!"

hpd is barely talked about even in pd spaces, the dsm criteria for it is vague and unspecific and wacky making it difficult to accurately self diagnose it (or even accurately diagnose it in general), and all of my hpd symptoms can be explained by something else.

unstable emotions? literally just cluster b and autism.

attention seeking + tweaking when no attention? mostly just npd, but could also be somewhat catalysted by my insanely extroverted, outgoing and socially dependent personality.

dramatic behaviour? i have many outbursts or episodes of losing my shit because of a combination of trauma, autism, and just being cluster b.

exaggerated and over-the-top persona? that is literally just the artificial persona i molded myself into because my npd thought it'd make everyone love me but my npd swears this is the real me even though i'm just fabricating my personality to be closer to the idealised me i have in my head.

having "strong opinions" that are malleable and dependent on those around me? probably a combination of being an fe dominant in typology (this means my morals and decisions are based on how something affects others) and being low empathy + compassion (sometimes i can't understand or care for how something will affect others, but i try and guess / assume what the right thing to do is anyways because i'm a good person) *sorry for the typology mention in a psychological context i think many people fucking hate that in psychology/mental health spaces i don't treat it like astrology okay? 😭 i just think it's a great tool to explain and categorise the aspects of your personality unrelated to mental illness or trauma since every typology system is unique

the hpd self diagnosis was on a whim btw i was really stupid about that .. ☹️ i heard "pds are very commonly comorbid" and i took that and just diagnosed myself with whatever i found slightly relatable. i saw a vid of someone with hpd talking about their experience + they mentioned something like "we have a god complex but we hate ourselves at the same time" which helped me come to terms with my ego and grandiosity (while still thinking it was bpd and hpd), so i self diagnosed myself with npd too . while only doing the bare minimum of research 😟 like obviously i didn't think npd was symptoms: kills people, eats babies, manipulates everyone, takes over the world, is only capable of feeling evil and can never be kind ever, cause i was consciously accepting of pwnpd even though i had some demonisation still subconsciously internalised because of what society spoonfeeds us + absolutely nobody is 100% free of at least a little bit of subconscious internalised bigotry but i basically had just jumped the gun

after a while i lowkey realised that bpd and hpd did not seem to fit me . and i undiagnosed myself with npd too cause the two misdiagnoses made me assume i didn't have a pd at all. so i had a short period of "damn i guess i don't have any disorders that explain why i'm so fucked up and insane and mentally unwell"

before i found out my fp had npd. and i was like "wait, really? but they're so nice to me… honestly, it makes sense". and that motivated me to actually do research on npd because this told me i didn't understand it enough. i wanted to understand them.

that was basically how i started to realise i had npd. i tried denying a lot of correlations . and i never suspected i had npd for years because the cognitive distortions had normalised so many things to me + i quite unsuccessfully tried bottling up things i thought were mean (which basically made me believe i'm secretly an awful person and nobody knows it) . i thought my grandiose fantasies were normal until i was like 15. i thought never being able to comprehend you're in the wrong but pretending you do and apologising to "do the right thing" was normal. i thought my level of empathy was normal. i thought my jealousy and envy were nnormal. i never worded my thoughts of contempt and superiority to others in a way that was like "heh… you're so pathetic…. i'm so much better than you" it was more like "lol i'm _ and they're not" so it wasn't obvious to me that this wasn't normal . but when i did word it that way, i didn't think i was a narc i just thought i was secretly an asshole 😭 i seriously never thought my kindness had selfish intentions i thought it was normal to only be nice for people to like you ┛◠ ┛ anyways it's 2025 and i am no longer blinded by bias or delusion cognitive distortions and i know for a fact that my problem is npd!!!!!!!!! and literally nothing else i think . i am 16 and gonna "try to get diagnosed" soon (not going to ever say "i think i have npd". i'm gonna specifically mention all my narc traits to my therapist and word them in a very textbook npd way without ever lying i'm just going out of my way to tell the truth and wording it in a stereotypical npd way)

thx 4 reading i loav u (^з^)-☆chu!!]

[cure-icy-writes]

Ghost from Hollow Knight is disabled, and here's why

Obligatory disclaimer, of course, that this is just a theory. It may not even be what the creators intended! But it’s special to me, which is why I want to share if. And I think that a well crafted theory with textual evidence is far better than any inflammatory thumbnail by a YouTuber with enough charisma to overcome his utter lack of reading comprehension. 

So, to start, I’ll explain the particular disability. Put simply, being filled with the primordial darkness soup has detrimental effects on one’s health. It takes the place of blood, but it’s more viscous, which means that the heart is constantly working overtime just to pump it properly. 

So, what are the symptoms of this? Well, the most prominent one is this: Ghost is able to fully recover their health simply by sitting on a bench. If you’re wondering how that could possibly be linked to a heart condition, it’s actually based on my own experiences with POTS, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. It’s a health condition that’s affectionately known as “can’t fucking stand disorder” or less affectionately known as other, more explicit things when it’s causing me trouble. 

To get personal about my experience with POTS: I get dizzy standing up, or standing too long. I use a cane to support myself, and I need to drink what amounts to salt water to raise my blood volume. The blood volume is important, for reasons I’ll get into later. 

So, on the surface level: they’re disabled because they need benches to recover. But bear with me, because I think it goes a little deeper and a little weirder. Here’s my theory.

Ghost was intended to be invincible. They don’t take contact damage. Every time they take damage, it’s actually just them flinching and their heart rate increasing.

I know, it sounds insane, but I promise that there is evidence to support this. The first piece is the Pale King’s ambition. He created everyone in the dead baby pit to be invincible, right? The perfect vessel to seal away the Radiance, no voice to cry suffering. But then we also know that the Hollow Knight themself wasn’t perfect. They were weak specifically because they wanted to be loved. They were weak because they had a heart, they had emotions, because their traitorous heart pumped blood too fast and it made them vulnerable, because they felt fear. It’s poetic, in a sense.

Diversity Loss! The dead baby pit created in a fruitless effort to save the remnants of a crumbling kingdom is made up of disabled bugs who were subject to a fuckshit eugenics experiment, yippee!

Another interesting piece of supporting evidence is the existence of Lifeblood. The heretic Joni pioneered its use, and there’s some weird implications that maybe this wasn't the best idea, but hear me out for a second. What if it’s literally increasing blood volume of our protagonist to give them some protection from the symptoms of what is effectively a goopy heart disease? The name is quite literal, actually.

The final piece of evidence? Look at the effects of the Fury of the Fallen charm. This one is like adrenaline overdose, complete with pulsing visual effects meant to set you on edge. While this charm is equipped, the knight won't even perform their idle animations. It's a small thing, but I think it is definitely meant to indicate that they're too pumped with adrenaline to have the focus to do this little things. All of that energy is dedicated towards not losing control, one way or another.

Overall, like I said. It’s not something I can prove, but it is backed up by some canon evidence. And it adds to the tragedy, I think, of a scared bug with a bleeding heart.

[ghostfacetheballfondler]

i think the worst part of being mentally ill is when you have no idea what made you like this.

"symptoms with no memories to explain them"

in my case. i wonder if i did this to myself. like, literally.

and i wonder if that would make me less sympathetic if that was the truth. if my personality disorder didn't come from childhood trauma or extreme abuse, but from me being an idiot and accidentally fucking up my brain.

when i was 14, i made a conscious decision to change my thoughts and personality. i grew tired and bored of my 5 year long pity party and self hate. so, i decided to change. to appear more confident and arrogant. whenever i would think bad about myself, i would block it out with self praise. doing everything i possibly could to hide away my insecurities and inferiorities. protecting my ego no matter what.

what inspired this all was when i heard a quote in a youtube video, "depression is just another form of narcissism".

i was just so tired.

and i wanted something new.

that quote became my new life purpose.

...

....

.....or maybe i was like this way for a long time. and the only thing that changed was how i presented my symptoms. i became more "overt", (as much as i hate that word...) as a way to cope with other stressors in my life.

there is evidence to support this too.

i had quite a few childhood experiences that were most definitely narcissistic crashes. and the way my parents raised me when i was a little kid was *perfect* for me developing a superiority complex. but that's all i remember when it comes to that.

(but maybe suffering from suicidal depression starting from the age of 9 is enough for me to develop a personality disorder. maybe that's the truth of this?)

(...but is it really that simple? would i be satisfied if that *was* true? would i *ever* be satisfied with *anything?*)

either way. i don't have any memories of abusive parents or traumatic experiences to explain why i'm like this. as to why i'm *this* fucked up. if i'm this mentally unwell, then surely there has to be a reason for it, right?

a lot of npd advocacy is, "we were abused too! npd is a trauma disorder that comes from abuse!"

what am i then, if i don't have anything to justify all of this? am i just an exception that should be hidden away because it makes the rest of the community look bad?

(even if i do have something major repressed. framing anti-npd ableism as bad *because* we apparently are all also victims of abuse isn't the right optics. anti npd-ableism is bad because we shouldn't be bigoted against the mentally ill.)

i just don't know why i'm like this. and i'm scared that i don't have a "good enough" reason to have developed npd.

[crippleprophet]

do you have any thoughts on functional neurological disorder?

it’s one of the cruelest inventions of modern medicine.

for a bit of context on my positionality i don’t currently have an fnd diagnosis but i am at huge risk of one (my rheumatologist already thinks i have a conversion disorder) & it’s one of the many reasons i’m terrified to pursue a second neurologist after my first one dumped me. fnd is, like, maybe not the pinnacle but definitely a major player in the field of doctors gaslighting us as hard as possible & being furious every time it doesn’t work.

i’m not gonna find these articles bc it gets to a point of self harm for me to (re)read some of this shit but literally doctors are like “the more convinced patients are there’s something wrong the more they’re lying,” “the more symptoms patients have the more likely it is to be fnd and not something really wrong,” etc. again just unfathomably cruel. also the fact that mainstream medicine can unironically write that people with hypermobility are “more likely to have fnd” rather than going huh maybe there’s a neurological component here is just. what the fuck are y’all doing.

a really fun (fucked up) “i told you so” moment with the social construction of the ‘real vs fake’ tics false binary was when doctors literally can’t tell the difference based on their own bullshit criteria.

i highly recommend checking out @fndportal for incredibly insightful thoughts on a lot of these issues. sociological research on post-hysteria diagnoses & the genealogy of hysteria has also been super helpful for me although it’s obviously a very difficult history.

on a peer support level i think disability community is especially vital in the face of these kinds of psychological warfare from doctors. & to anybody who’s been diagnosed with fnd or similar conditions: i believe you. something is really wrong, it is not your fault (& it would be okay, & you’d still deserve effective compassionate care, if it was), you’re not making it up.

obviously i personally want to destroy the whole thing from the ground up, but if i could change one thing about the medical field, it’d be that it needs, desperately & urgently, to create space for not knowing. to say “something is happening here but science hasn’t caught up with it yet.” …unfortunately, to do so would be to destroy medicine from the ground up, because the whole project is predicated on the manufactured authority of knowing our bodies wholly & irrevocably, of rendering our own knowledge irrelevant at best & lies at worst.

also imo cbt, especially for a physical symptom, is evil & in situations where people can ghost their doctors rather than go i wholeheartedly support that.

[wheelie-sick]

Since anon see post about FND, and anon wondering if anon has FND, what are Corvid's opinions on it? Does Corvid think it is a legitimate/valid diagnosis? Why or why not?

[this was sent before I got "diagnosed" with FND, this person is not being insensitive]

I think it can be. I don't think it's entirely fake- I do think something is legitimately going on for a lot of people with FND and it just hasn't been discovered yet. with that said, doctors use it as both a "we don't feel like trying to find it 🤷" disease and a "we think you're a hysterical woman" disease. a lot of people diagnosed with FND are diagnosed as a way to brush them off, not because they actually have whatever is going on behind the disorder. often these diagnoses are given without fully going through and ruling out other possibilities despite the fact that FND is supposed to be a diagnosis of exclusion.

because literally any and every neurological symptom has been ascribed to FND it can be applied to anyone with neurological symptoms without much other consideration. it's a lazy & misogynistic + sanist misdiagnosis 90% of the time

[cringelordofchaos]

Disability + Queer headcanons for some South Park characters i like

(warning: u might not agree w everything i have to say !!! :shocked emoji:)

(also sorry if im inconsistent w some characters pronouns ill probably refer to a character with their canon pronouns in the show and then when i remember trans hcs of said characterr suddenly ill refer to the w different pronouns)

Craig Tucker

- gay (no fucking shit sherlock)

- level 1 autistic, low empathy, difficulties communicating and understanding emotions, yada yada u get the gist

- some form of anxiety? idk probs not to a disordered amount but its there.

Kenny McCormick

- Chronic pain (everywhere)

- Epilepsy

- dude LITERALLY got a seizure from simply playing a video game (in thepokemon episode) this dudes physical health is so bad prolly cuz his constant deaths still leave an impact on him even after he gets revived?

- autism !? (idk im not 100% sure just yet)

- selectively mute

- probably some form of (complex?) PTSD from the constant traumatizing deaths he endures though again like im not sure

- but yyeah ok i just remembered thispost is about disability AND queer hcs so uhm kenny. I like the genderqueer hcs but he could also just be really gnc and i love that for him too. either way likes women a lot and i cant exactly imagine him liking a dude? like idk maybe but nah i dont see it

Tweek Tweak

- im sorry but i personally dont view him as having adhd cuz his parents tell others hes hyperactive bc of it but really its because they keep drugging the fucking eight year old so idk. like idk he could possibly have it but i cant decipher cuz we dont know what tweek would be like if he wasnt drugged and a coffee addict at such a young age. and causes of symptoms matter

- but yeah he def has GAD and panic disorder bc of the drugged coffee

- oh also gay

eric cartman

- NPD (i know hes a really stereotypical and harmful portrayal of it and there should be better representation of it but theres no way he doesnt have it im sorry)

- sexuality and gender are whatever benefits him at the moment

(ok but if ur actually wondering abt my hc hes probably gay)(in extreme denial obviously though)

Butters Stotch

- has some form of disorder related to trauma and if he doesnt hell get one when he grows up because like dudes been through SOME FUCKING SHIT. (and he canonically falls asleep to and wakes up to the sounds of his own screams so like. uhm)

- seems like hes straight? like could be bi though idk. he DID have a crush on princess kenny though? take it as you will lmao

- SHIT i forgot about marjorine. yeah just like w kenny either genderqueer or gnc, love both hcs

- may i suggest aroace butters though

- or no sexuality butters (he doesnt have a sexuality :broke heart:)(dont aks me how that works it jst does)

Stan Marsh

- Major depressive disorder

- literal alcoholic at age 10 thats bound to mess him up for life one way or another

- canonically diagnosed with asperger's syndrome but it was his obvious depression being misdiagnosed

- bi but like only gay for specific chars. but yeah confused abt sexuality

- gender questioning too and its pretty canon as shown in 'the cissy'. though then again stans really empathetic so u could say stans confused feelings of gender identity were just being influenced by cartman and wendy recently telling the school theyre trans. idk WHICH way stans trans though and neither do they

- emo

kyle broflovski

- im gonna hes say asexual cuz of human kite's character chart thingy and also bc why not

- have got zero clue as to what his sexuality is like. im a style shipper (big surprise ik) so u might think i think he likes dudes but idk. ive never seen anyone hc him as aroace before but i think it could fit him. he does seem like he could just be cishet too. or maybe bi? ive also seen gay hcs of him. idk man i think multiple fit depending on how u interpret his character?

-

Tolkien Black

- his roleplay character chart thingy said ther character was gender neutral so im going w that hc

- likes girls (canon as shown in cartman finds love)

Bradly/Bradley (the one from the conversion therapy episode)

- gay (SHOCKER)(BIGASS SURPRISE)(

Timmy

- canon wheelchair user (whats the term again i forgor) and also intellectually disabled (but also there was one point where it was revealed he was actually a genius i think?? so maybe hes not intellectually disabled but rather he lacks the capacity to express or communicate his inner world? idk)

- timmy

thas all i got for now im too lazy to continue but yeah pls dont kill me for these

EDIT 11/JUNE/2024: forgot to say this but also kenny has more physical disabilities than listed and also Cartman is dyslexic in my hc