#plurality help

[starburstsystem]

Going over did criteria again because I keep having identity crisises. I was scrolling tik Tok for resources and hearing other people's experiences and have come to a conclusion;

I live in a constant, varying level of dissociation in my day to day life that heavily impacts my memory, mental health, and overall experience of living. I find it extremely difficult to be present in a moment, especially in conversations or social events. I am constantly checking out and scatter brained and feeling like I lose myself, like I'm not really connected to this world.

That being said, the second main indicator of did is an alternative state of self, or alters. This is the part that confuses me so much.

Dissociation of varying degrees is a symptom of many things, like anxiety or ptsd, both of which I am diagnosed with. My childhood trauma has really fucked up the rest of my life.

Other than that, I need to look more into signs of alters, or research a breakdown of what an alter actually is, so I can figure out if that's what I've been experiencing or not. Right now I feel like I have no idea who I am, what I really like, what my style is, I feel too complex to be just one person. Which, I can feel this way and still be a singlet, of course. I think I'm confused on whether what I was doing was separating parts of my being to cope, or if they were there in the first place. What are these rushes of feeling coming over me, why don't I feel at home in my own body? Every time I think too hard about someone else being in my head, sharing a body with a separate identity of myself, I get this rush of fear and some sort of presence, like there's someone else with me, listening to my thoughts, or that I can hear their thought process too.

Another thing that confuses me is the whole hearing voices thing. Definitely I know that some systems hear their headmates voices in their head loud and clear, while others communicate mainly through feelings or abstract thoughts and vibes. I don't think ive ever heard someone else's voice in my head, but I have sensed thoughts that didn't feel like my own, felt things for seemingly no reason.

I'm exhausted of feeling so fake. I hate the idea that I'm a fraud, playing a big game of make pretend just to feel included or different or whatever. I wish my experience was more typical so it would be easier to recognize. I just want to understand myself. I want to know why I can't figure out what name suits me and stick with it, why I never feel comfortable in my own skin, why I love a shirt I have one day and hate it the next, why my make up and music taste differs so sporadically, etc etc.

[kur8]

⸺ symbol dump .

𒈔 　⸸ 　ε❤︎з 　♰　‎‎꒰ঌ　ಇ　‎‎𓊆ྀི 　𓊇ྀི 　

𓏶 　꒰❤︎꒱　　𒋲　´ཀ`　‎‎ ༎　‎‎ 𐎕　‎‎𐏐　‎‎ 𐎍

𓏵　᧔♡᧓　ཫ　⋯　.ᐟ　⸺　(＠´ー`)ﾉﾞ

༒　✟　‏‏⸝⸝　﹕　〃　꒷꒦︶︶　　ଘ　 ଓ⁾⁾

﹐　﹒　(¬_¬")　𝜗𝜚　┄╮　𝐢𓈒 　𝐢𝐢𓈒　˘

⩋　⌓⌓ 　౨ৎ　♪( ´▽｀)　✚　𓎟𓎟　┊

[hellhoundzzz]

hi systems [mainly] this is important please listen up

[plain text start — hi systems [mainly] this is important please listen up — plain text end.]

POSTING YOUR TRIGGERS ONLINE FOR THE PUBLIC TO SEE OR FOR FRIENDS YOU DONT KNOW THAT WELL IS DANGEROUS. IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT SORTA TRIGGER IT IS, ITS PUTTING YOURSELF IN DANGER. NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS EVEN IF THEYRE POSITIVE.

mainly directed at minors. adults can do wtv i don't care it's your choice you should understand the consequences. CHILDREN do not. doesnr matter how "mature" you are.

also applies to stating hypersexuality, but that's a whole other convo.

endos this applies to you too. I care abt your safety too. you deserve to be safe too. stay safe

[plain text start — endos this applies to you too. I care abt your safety too. you deserve to be safe too. stay safe — plain text end]

[dreamers-collective]

Reminder that you can wholeheartedly love your system and sysmates and still have days where you feel tired of being a system. Sometimes being a system makes hard days easier, but sometimes it makes them harder, and that’s okay too.

[cloudd-nyne]

The L Word

[starry-bi-sky]

DPXDC CFAU Headcanon: Ghostspeak Edition

Ghosts in the Infinite Realms who saw Jason and Danny together called them "luzdra", a term in ghost speak that directly translates into the words "shared soul". It's literal definition is; "two ghosts with a bond so deep that it was as if they had split their souls in half and given one to the other", but in general it just means two ghosts with a profound, indescribable bond.

Luzdrus is the singular form of the word, and refers to only one ghost in the bond. While "luzdra" is plural and either refers to both of them together, or the relationship as a whole. It depends on the context of the conversation and who they're saying it to.

There is no romantic, platonic, or familial connotation behind the word. It just means "someone who shares a deep bond with someone" and can be between anyone.

It also does not mean soulmate, and if you say that you'll be corrected. Soulmates implies that their bond was destined by the universe, luzdra are two people who developed and built that bond themselves. It's a relationship forged between two (or more) people.

Some of Danny's rogues -- like Kitty and Johnny, who might've seen the two together and are possibly luzdra themselves -- still call him 'luzdrus' even after Jason's disappearance from the Zone. Danny doesn't know how to feel about it.

[sir-anon-acc]

Hey! If you are anti-endo or pro-endo, please keep reading!

We are traumagenic, and have only recently started learning about endogenic systems. I am aware of the fact that an endogenic system is one that forms without trauma, but I am entirely confused about it in every other aspect.

I have searched quite a bit, but I'm struggling to find any unbiased information whatsoever. I am aware that DID/OSDD are not the only type of disassociative or identity disorders, so I am attempting to be open-minded here, but I just don't have enough information to morally form an opinion.

I'm hoping that by crosstagging just a little and stating my stance that I can get both sides of the argument in the replies. Please, if you are anti-endo and have reason and resources, or you are pro-endo/an endogenic system and have reason and resources, please reply to this in some way. Please don't come for me in any way, I'm simply trying to educate myself on the matter. Until we have further information, I will remain endo-neutral, and I will do my best to keep an entirely open mind. :)

[a-dragons-journal]

Hot take maybe, but “singlets shouldn’t have opinions on/be speaking on syscourse” is bullshit no matter which side it’s coming from.

You can’t really not have an opinion on whether a group of people is allowed to exist, especially if you’re interacting with people who are a part of that group at all. It’s a little like saying “cis people shouldn’t have an opinion on whether nonbinary genders are real” - yes they should??? And in fact they kind of don’t have a choice but to have an opinion, especially if they know even one (1) nonbinary person.

I get where this comes from - it’s an example of a thing the internet at large has done, where we’ve taken “people not part of X Group shouldn’t speak over people who are X when it comes to issues affecting X”, a reasonable and true statement, and turned it into “if you’re not part of X Group you can’t have an opinion at all about issues affecting X,” a statement that sometimes seems reasonable at first glance but usually falls apart the second you dig into it. And when it comes to syscourse, it really falls apart, because according to one side, the other side aren’t really systems anyway, so if you believe singlets shouldn’t speak on syscourse, then the words of endogenic systems are automatically void! Very convenient to be able to completely invalidate your opponent’s argument before they’ve even opened their mouth, purely based on the demographic you perceive them to be a part of.

(Which is, of course, often the point - “don’t involve yourself in syscourse” is often a thinly veiled “shut up and let me bully people in peace”, especially when shouted at someone who was involved in syscourse against their will. “Don’t involve yourself in syscourse” doesn’t work if, for example, the person “involving themself” is the admin of a server where people are arguing about whether the endogenic systems in the server should be allowed to call themselves that - they have no choice but to make a decision on how to moderate that situation, and “not involving themself” is just letting the sysmeds win by default. It’s the paradox of tolerance.)

[starburstsystem]

Is it weird that Mouse and I feel very similar in being? I enjoy her style, I just have my own preferred style. And we have similar personalities and behaviors, but I just feel different than her. Is that weird???? Is it weird for us to be similar???

- Ro 🫀

[lemony-ink]

pk;m new 😔

[non-dys-sys]

It’s never okay to lock a headmate away, never. They could be the worst person in the world, you still shouldn’t lock them away. There’s a difference between keeping headmates away from eachother and taking away someone’s privacy, free will and connections. You are abandoning that headmate, you are telling them that they are not worth helping, that they don’t deserve to get better. If talking it out doesn’t work for them there are other options, I’d recommend giving them their own space to speak their mind without threat of mistreatment for it, for starters. If someone really doesn’t want help don’t force it on them, just let them know it’s always an option and leave it at that. -Ange

[puppyoclock]

to introjects : there will always be people out there who love, support, and accept you, no matter what your source is. whether it's "problematic", "cringe", "basic", or anything else. no matter how much or little you identify with your source. there will ALWAYS be people who choose not to judge you for things you can't control. you will always be welcome as yourself somewhere. if that place isn't where you currently are, then keep looking, because it's out there. i hope you're doing well

[syscultureis]

Plural culture is

"does {friend} know about the system?"

"I either told them or thought really hard about telling them so idfk"

"Google how to subtly ask your friend if they know you have DID without outing yourself if they don't"

[idonthaveanyonetotalkaboutthis]

what if i don't actually have did/osdd and i'm just cringe?

[skullrift]

sticks my hand in ur brain and pulls out a handful of ur alters n runs away

- 🐇

[rabidbatboy]

SYSTEM / ALTERS ALTERNATIVE TERMS

[ 🧩 ] SAW THEMED

[ system ] — mechanism, sawtrap, spiral, machine, puzzle, jigsaw, gorefest, legacy, choice, contraption, game, massacre

[ alters ] — apprentices, victims, bodies, cogs, blades, sacrifices, mutilations, followers, corpses, tests, saws, chains, wounds, pigs, beartraps, survivors, tapes, puppets

(trying out something new! lmk if you like :3)