#platonic or slash

[jinxquickfoot]

@badthingshappenbingo prompt: Rescue Mission

Find the fic on Ao3

“And you’re sure Romanoff won’t break?”

Clint watches Fury straighten up to his full height, his one eye staring down Senator Stern with the force of a bulldozer. “She’s a former Russian super spy and presently one of the most skilled agents in this organization. What do you think, Senator?”

Stern sinks back into his chair, looking around at the gathered mix of SHIELD and CIA in the meeting room. “Then I think we have our answer. This information exists in two places. Here,” he places the hard drive on the table in front of him, “and in Romanoff’s head. And if Romanoff doesn’t talk, we can decree the information safe.”

Clint lets the arrow tip he’s fiddling with sink into his palm, letting the sharp pain distract him from the urge to punch Stern and every other suit in the room who is haggling over whether Natasha’s life was worth the expense of a rescue mission.

“Need I remind you,” Fury says, and something settles in Clint when he hears the barely disguised outrage behind the words. “That Agent Romanoff is valued for more than whatever government secrets she has obtained. That she risked her life to send you that information.”

Stern isn’t cowed. “She is deep behind enemy lines, on a mission she chose to undertake despite knowing the risks. If we attempt to rescue her, not only do we risk losing more men and more resources, but we prove to the enemy just how vital this information is.” He pats the hard drive again. “The intelligence is safe and in our hands. The matter is closed.”

As quietly as he can, Clint slides his chair away from the table. No one so much as glances at him as he slips towards the kitchenette at the rear of the room.

Fury isn’t ready to let it rest. “I already told you—there are plenty of agents at SHIELD who would be more than willing to volunteer for this mission.”

Stern snorts, unimpressed. “Please don’t tell me you mean the Avengers. If you send your team of super-freaks over there, we risk war, Fury.”

Clint pours himself a cup of coffee, taking a sip. Today’s batch isn’t actually terrible. Shame.

“I can offer a rescue team far more subtle than an alien god, a rage monster, and Tony Stark,” Fury replies dryly, his next words disdainful. “At no extra cost to you, Senator.”

Clint turns around just in time to see Stern shake his head. “You’re out of your jurisdiction. It’s too much to risk for one asset who went and got herself captured. Romanoff is a professional, she knows that. She sacrificed herself for the good of the country, and she has our gratitude. But we have the information here now, where it’s safe. We can’t risk changing that.”

“Because the only other copy is in Romanoff’s head,” Fury fires back. If he’s noticed Clint sneaking around the meeting table towards the senator, he doesn’t say a word about it. “And it will die with her.”

“Unfortunate,” Stern offers, sounding completely unbothered. “But necessary in the grand scheme of—”

He’s so absorbed in making his statement that he doesn’t even notice Clint has crept up behind him until Clint empties the entire cup of coffee over the hard drive.

Stern leaps to his feet with an undignified yelp lunging forward to grab the now-sopping hard drive. “What did you just do?”

Clint shrugs, his lips twitching as he sees Fury stifle a laugh. “Now there’s only one copy of the information,” he states, twirling the empty mug in his fingers. “Guess you’re going to have to make the effort to rescue Romanoff after all.”

“I assume you know the sensitive nature of what you have learned, Agent Romanoff.”

Every part of her still hurts, but Natasha is determined not to show that. She didn’t in front of her captors, and she certainly won’t reveal any weaknesses here. “I’m aware, Senator.”

“Then I can trust this will not be passed onto anyone else?”

As answer, Natasha raises her bandaged hand, splinted and stitched back together after its encounter with a hammer. “I think you can trust me not to talk.”

“Are we done here?” Fury says. He’s sitting to her right, having chosen to take that seat as opposed to leering over the other side of the table with Stern. On her side, as always. “You have what you wanted, Stern.”

“Indeed. Onto the next mission. Speaking of.” He leans forward, and Natasha does not trust the glint in his eyes. “I require some reconnaissance done in Alaska. Shouldn’t take longer than six weeks.”

Natasha’s heart sinks. She knew there would be some kind of punishment, some kind of power play following the events in Russia. She doubts the mission is one that will get her hurt, but pure reconnaissance missions are their own kind of torture. Nothing but time, and nothing to do but think. Still, if it’ll get Stern off SHIELD’s back, she’ll pay the penance. “When do I leave?”

That glint in Stern’s eye ignites. “I think there’s some confusion, Agent Romanoff. Who said anything about sending you?”

“Are you lost, Romanoff?”

“What, am I not allowed to visit my friend?”

Tony narrows his eyes at her, up to his elbows in mechanical parts. “This is highly suspicious behavior.”

Natasha nudges aside a stack of equipment so she can perch on a nearby bench. “It’s a social visit, Stark. You know what those are, right?”

“So you’re missing your shadow, then.” He softens. “I’m sure Barton’s fine. They have coffee and pizza in Alaska.”

“Yes, and he was sent there by a very powerful person who knows I have extremely dangerous information in my head. A very powerful person who went out of his way to prove he knows exactly how to hurt me.”

Tony pauses in his work. “You know,” he says lightly. “JARVIS can theoretically get into some pretty secure places. Bank accounts. Private photos. Browser history on less than savory websites.”

“Sounds illegal.”

“Which is why I said theoretically.” Tony considers, drumming a screwdriver against the bench. “Otherwise I could scrounge up an SI emergency that just so happens to require freaky good eyesight and circus skills.”

Natasha reaches across the workbench to take his hand. “Thank you,” she says, meaning it. “But I already talked to Fury. He says best to let Stern restore his ego, or it’s going to bite us in the ass later.”

Tony exhales, looking as though he’s about to argue before dropping it. “If you’re going to hang out in here, don’t touch anything.”

Natasha manages a smile. “We’ll see.”

“So. How boring was it?”

A stack of plans is dumped on the workbench, and Clint has the satisfaction of watching Tony Stark be impressed as he leafs through the various trick arrow designs Clint’s spent the past six weeks doodling.

“That boring, then.” Tony plucks one from the pile, raising an eyebrow. “You’re a lunatic, Barton. I’ll have it done by the weekend.”

After six weeks of waiting, Clint has to wait another few hours before Natasha is back from her own mission. He camps out in her rooms at the Tower, delighting in the luxuries of a decent shower and a bed that isn’t of the shitty motel variety as he waits for her to come back.

The first words out of her mouth when she walks in the door are, “You’re such an idiot.”

“Missed you too, Nat.” He sits up on her bed, taking her in. Most of the injuries from Russia seemed to have healed, at least. “I’d do it again. Even if the consequences were worse.”

Natasha closes and locks the door behind her. “Then you’re definitely an idiot.”

Clint’s voice goes sour. “You should have heard the way they were talking about you. It was gross.”

She crosses the room so she can sit beside him on the bed. “I knew the risks.”

“I don’t care.” Clint reaches down to take her hand. “One day I’m going to punch Stern in the face.”

Natasha offers him a smile. “Not if I beat you to it.”

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do this.”

Rounding up HYDRA has been exhausting. SHIELD is gone, and the Avengers are doing what they can on their own, but HYDRA has sunk its claws into the furthest reaches of the Earth. It’s proving very difficult to pry them up.

The entire team is run ragged but, when they had located the hiding out place of a certain senator, Clint had enthusiastically volunteered.

He could have incapacitated him straight away, but Clint let him run. Just a little. Just enough to see the hope drop from his face when he realized who was standing in front of him. “Barton—”

Clint’s fist catches him across the lip, knocking him to his knees. “Sorry, Senator, but I’m sure you understand,” Clint remarks as Stern spits blood. “It’s necessary in the grand scheme of things.”

He grabs Stern by the shoulders, hauling him back to Avengers HQ. He doesn’t take a second hit, though.

He’ll save that for Natasha.

[jonahmagnus]

From: jonathansims@gmail.com

Subject line: HELPME

Dear Mr Bouchard,

I am writing to you today to inform you that I, once again, got beat up by a supernatural entity. Do you have ANY advice at all to stop this from happening in the future?

Well Wishes,

JON SIMS

--------------------------

REPLY: TO jonathansims@gmail.com FROM: eliasbouchard@icloud.com

Subject line: blank

Dear Mr Sims,

You should be at the clubbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Kindest regards,

Elias Bouchard

[i-got-hit-by-a-planet]

i'm so normal about them. so normal about this duo. they are so special to me i'm holding them in my palm like little bugs

[missmagooglie]

When Steve and Eddie first tell the kids they're dating, Dustin's immediate reaction is: "YES! Steve, now you HAVE TO play DnD with us!"

Despite the excited encouragement he gets from the party, Steve waves them off and tell them that they can borrow his boyfriend for their nerd game but he will not be joining.

Prior to this, everyone in the party (besides Dustin) was kind of ambivalent to Steve learning how to play. But now it's a challenge. Now they are on a mission to get Steve Harrington to break down and *finally* play a game of DnD with them.

They try begging.

They try bribing.

They try asking Eddie to withhold -- "Not a freaking chance!" Eddie tells them before they even finish the question. "No way I am punishing *myself* for your dumb mission."

They all take turns designing potential characters Steve could play, all mighty heroes with the coolest powers they can come up with.

Steve turns each of them down.

"Why not just do a session to get them off your back?" Eddie finally asks him

"It's just not my thing, ok?" Steve says. "Besides, you guys don't really want to spend a whole session just teaching me how to play."

Eddie lets it go, but his gears start turning and he starts forming his own plan to get Steve to the Hellfire table.

He throws himself into the character design, making sure to get every detail right. Then he marches down to Family Video and presents the character to *Robin*.

She's excited about the character. Eddie knew she would be. She's less excited about spending a whole afternoon with the "munchkins", but gets on board quickly once Eddie lays out his whole plan.

At the next session, Eddie leads the party on their quest until they reach a dramatically appropriate moment, and narrates, "The doors to the ancient castle swing shut behind you, trapping you in the ornate foyer. From the top of the grand staircase comes a cackle -"

Robin's voice rings out from the top of the Wheeler's basement steps in a deranged laugh, causing the whole party to jump.

They stare in varying stages of shock and excitement as Robin and Steve come down the stairs together. Eddie notices the pair already egging each other on to lean into their characters.

"You didn't think we'd just let you walk away with the amulet, did you?" Steve asks as he and Robin take their seats on either side if Eddie. "Sister, what should we do with these intruders who are trying to steal from us?"

"I say we KILL THEM!" Robin says gleefully.

"The Lord and Lady of the castle have you trapped," Eddie tells the party, delighting in the panic laced excitement he sees in their expressions as they realize what's happening. "Roll for initiative!"

[weebsinstash]

I'm sorry but I can't stop thinking about a certain angsty idea

Like pretty sure this is implying getting married is a canon event? But in a way, doesn't that kind of, really strip the choice and actual love and magic out of it? Or, could you at least understand the idea of a Spiderperson who may feel that way? Did you genuinely fall in love with someone if it was "supposed" to happen? And the universe could fall apart if you don't so you arent really even given a choice to say no? Isn't that like having a preprogrammed robot instead of a true lover?

Still kinda obsessed with the concept of a Spider Reader where you didn't get scouted by Miguel until after you had already lost your loved ones, but, it's clear that some Spiders are scouted before they have all of their events (Pav), and, I can't stop thinking about, you're in the Spider Society and making friends and having fun and stuff and you're. Still supposed to get married or have a relationship or something and you're just, completely avoiding having anything at all, not even dating anyone, nothing really feels natural to you and you just don't really want anything?

Months and months and months pass and you've turned multiple people down in your home dimension and Spiders at the Society are told not to interact with you in certain ways, which becomes overboard when no one ever seems to want to hug you or even high five you or touch you at all (because "oh don't let them get a crush on you, they can't break canon" or some dumb paranoia) which just eventually develops into isolating you from the Spider Society, and they all think, "ok good they'll spend more time at home and then start the route for this canon event and we can talk to them again" but it just. Doesn't happen. You're starting to show up to the Society less and less but the only thing that changes when you get back home is a loneliness that you fill with a pet and some platonic friends

Peter B is trying to "subtly" nudge you. "Ya know kid, aren't you in your 20s now? Isn't it time you try and, I dunno, get into college or something? You've got so much potential!" as he willingly omits how he met his wife in college and maybe it's in the model that you could meet your spouse there too as a potential option

But I like the idea and already lowkey established concept that canon changes and has tweaks here and there and can be bent in certain ways so, imagine like, idk, imagine Reader already being with the person who is supposed to your soul mate, and, you find out about The Model or whatever, the Arachno Humanoid Poly Mutiverse or whatever, and you just realize kind of on accident that, oh having a relationship at all is kind of just another prison for you to be in, huh? Another choice stripped away from you, another thing that made you feel like a rubber stamp in existence in the weird copy/paste Spider Society. So you just. You don't intentionally bomb the relationship but you become so extremely depressed and refuse to talk about it with your SO that they actually leave you, making the choice independently, changing canon but not breaking it

But here's Miguel, which I guess you could imagine as a protective obsessive romantic figure or even platonic parental, and he's all but grinding his teeth because, as he sees it, you're not only risking completely breaking your canon which you know Would Fucking Kill You, but, why are you constantly shooting down what are supposed to be good changes for your life? No relationships? No college? No aspirations at all? Why are you not living up to your full potential? He's so frustrated because he KNOWS you could "be better than this" and that you're "supposed to" be better than this, but you just seem. Depressed and defeated. He wants you to be better because it's better for your life, your future, your safety (even if depending on preference it absolutely gets under his skin to see you with anyone else romantically or sexually)

And I have no idea how they would externally force you into some kind of relationship but, I've also thought about, alternatively, the tried and true "Reader lost their home dimension but somehow didn't disappear and lives on Earth 928B now" (the movie specifics its 928b ok, pet peeve I know, 928 is comic Miguel, 928b is ATSV movie Miguel) and eventually, somehow, your bracelet comes off one day and you're about to freak out and it's like, wait, you aren't glitching??? Why aren't you glitching? I mean, you're happy to not be in pain and flashing colors, but, this doesn't make sense? And you don't wanna tempt fate but you don't bother to get a new bracelet or, other people are around to witness this weird event and so, Miguel is immediately investigating what happened. I imagine maybe they scan you with the Go Home Machine and it's just like "ha ha yeah you're home already :)" you know like some "Dimensional Match: 928B" and the machine doesn't even activate, it just scans you with the drone, is like "yeah you're good lmao" and goes back to sleep

And now Miguel is like, you know. Understandably concerned because now there are two Spiders for Nueva York, but, also, he's just like, unbeknownst to you absolutely over the moon necause if you're technically a part of his dimension now, maybe you can complete your canon and have some sort of happy ending. But. Miguel never had his wedding either? Or at least not the "true" one, like how Peter moves on from Gwen to Mary Jane? Cue Miguel suddenly spending suspicious amounts of time on his platform in the dark looking at holograms and algorithms and asking Lyla to calculate the probability of you two maybe becoming spouses for each other

AND YOU'RE SO FUCKED IF IT SAYS YOU CAN LMAO. Cause now not only is he all the more obsessed with you (you were BROUGHT to his dimension by a miracle, can't you SEE you're destined for each other) but now it's "don't you understand? Not only are we MEANT for each other, you don't have a choice! You CANT break canon!" And he's fucking putting a finger in your face and lecturing you about how, you know what, it's ok if you're scared and you're not ready. You know why? Because you two were made for each other, and, he must have been made to be this strong so he can protect you and make decisions on your behalf, right? It's all in The Model. It's all in God's Plan. The two of you are going to get married whether you think it's the love you're fantasizing about or not, and Miguel is more than thrilled that he was essentially just handed a certified excuse to keep you all to himself on a silver platter

Also. I guess this is preferential but. Imagine if Earth 928B's solution to two Spidermen, like how Miles' "corrected" itself with getting rid of blonde Peter, what if the universe and canon just went, "actually it's all cool though cause technically one of them isn't going to technically in name be a Spider anymore, they're going to be forcibly turned into a cute little pampered house spouse" and ON GOD he's getting children out of you if you're capable of it and that ISN'T optional. He's thinking you can start at AT LEAST three babies and then talk about how many more from there? He's always wanted a large family with lots of cute little girls and boys, you know 👉👈

[jennelikejennay]

Today I saw a comment saying that slash "erases friendship." Which, yeah, we've all heard it, it's stupid because you can still watch the original show that doesn't have the slash in it and interpret it as friendship if you want. (Though it may be difficult with TOS.)

But what about the ways that heteronormativity erases friendship?!

Are we going to forget that Spock and Uhura had a long-standing platonic friendship that the new movies tried to erase by making them kiss?

What about how in SNW Spock was building up a beautiful friendship with Chapel where they relied on each other for advice, until the writers decided to ruin it by having some aliens decide friendship wasn't a good enough relationship for them to care about?

Is Lower Decks going to ruin Rutherford and Tendi's beautiful platonic partnership by making them date? I don't think so but I do worry about it a little!

Remember how Picard and Crusher had a beautiful platonic relationship for seven years and that got ruined in ST: Picard?

How many genuine, close m/f friendships do you see in all of television and cinema where they don't get together at any point?

Look, to be clear, I don't think it ruins a friendship if the people end up pursuing a romance later, and you can definitely still be bffs after you get married.

But in terms of friendships that are fully platonic and given lots of screen time and development...we get those all the time with m/m, once in a while with f/f, and almost never with m/f.

It's not the gay shippers who are taking friendship away from you, look somewhere else!

[a-philosophical-egg]

ME WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IN THE OSEMANVERSE FANDOM IS SO MUCH COOLER THAN I WILL EVER BE

[asterronomical]

Dialogue from Thor: Ragnarok I AM CRINGE BUT I AM FREE !!!!! COPIUM. 

Bonus stuff under the cut bc like their dialogue rlly fit these two:

[jennicatzies]

New color palette challenge. Draw oxeyeduo immediately.

I miss them AUGHOUGUAUHHU

For context. Peep the ibispaint preset palette

[xia0ming56]

Doodle!! Dump!!! (Dr strange vers. >:D)

[jealizmuch]

gordon is celebrating the fact that warren isn’t a puddle of flesh slush once again

[spiderducks]

i miss themmm <— says the guy who made them and could draw them at any time (also don’t mind me fucking around with roier’s jacket design i’m just figuring things out)

[1-800-angels-ghost]

celebrity crush but in an aro/ace way. crush for lack of better word, because squish is not the right word. that's my little guy i look at pictures of in my phone and they make me happy. i see the picture! i watch the silly video! i listen to the song or podcast! i am cheered up! not just "im a fan and i like their stuff theyre so cool," it's "that's my celebrity crush!!!"

[oorusandei]

love is when the normally lazy person meets the tryhard and it’s like they’re hit by a ray of sunlight that flips round their worldview completely and then they start working their ass off and everyone’s so surprised at what they’re capable of. when the pessimistic loner gets pulled into the happy-go-lucky extrovert’s corner and feel like someone finally wants them around and start opening up. everything changes when you’re in love. to be loved is to be changed.

[flowers-in-your-basement]

(mildly poorly written Dean baby birding Sam) (with solids)

Milk chocolate, caramel. Chewed up coating on a candy bar. All inside Dean's mouth, sold for a dollar on sale in the corner store a block away. hey, things are expensive in the new millennium, it only makes sense to share.

They got into this situation in a roundabout sorta way, talking about taking care of eachother. So. Sam's on his lap now. Sam is expecting him to push that mush that was a candy bar into his mouth.

Dean wants to.

He's still chewing, trying to get it to a good texture, loud smacks of his mouth in the almost-empty room. It's just them.

There's a certain kinda' expectant sparkle in Sam's eyes, all baby brother love and need.

Sam's basically straddling him, trying to get them as close in height as they can be. Sam's still just a little taller.

Dean unconsciously cants his head up, gets his face up close to Sam's.

Then, their lips connect. Open mouthed, breathing into eachother lungs. Sam's breath is sour, like he hasn't eaten.

Dean pushes the mashed up candy into his younger brothers mouth. Caramel, chocolate, fading fast. For a few seconds there's some in both their mouths, an excuse to mouth at eachother, less grace than desperation. His baby's hungry.

They seperate, smiling.

[tangerinearies]

WisdmXonepiece:

Duo: Sanji & Zoro

Go to Nami to choose who to see next 🫶🏻

Other works in this series:

Boa| B2 | Sabo| S2 | Luffy | Zoro | Usopp |Robin | Nami