#personally I’m doing terribly
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fellow scandinavian dndads fans how are we doing not getting a stop on the areas tour?
#personally I’m doing terribly#jk I’m just going to have to drive to germany alone#anyways they could have done at least a stockholm stop like the real tswift#but yeah we won but at what cost#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the areas tour#europe
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The Safety Car as The Tower:
The Tower is commonly interpreted as meaning danger, crisis, destruction, and liberation. It is associated with sudden unforseen change.
@st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time @the-wall-is-my-goal @albonoooo @ch3rubd0lls
#I did NOT do this on 9/11 purposely 😭#this is all a terrible coincidence#so I’m only posting this on here today 😭#please do not get mad at me 💀#n e ways#I love drawing cars#I know it’s not a driver so it’s whatever but I refuse to make every card a person that’s so boring#f1#formula 1#f1blr#f1 fanart#formula one#f1 art#annie’s art#formula one fanart#formula 1 fanart#formulanni#f1 tarot#the tower#safety car#f1 safety car
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There’s this vision I have and I’m manifesting it
#vinland saga#canute#askeladd#up to you whether this is memoryladd or ghostladd but I intended this as an aliveladd#advisorladd even#I think they’d make a wonderful terrible team and I personally was ROBBED#so fine here I’ll do it myself#my art#also shoutout to that one canute design when he’s getting crowned like when he has a beard w shorter hair but still bangs#I love that one. underrated imo#also yes I’m gonna tag it as#askenute#you can’t stop me!!!!!!
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mmmmmMMMMMMM
#sigh#I wanted this break to be nice and relaxing#just allow myself to recharge maybe do some silly personal doodles#but we finally got the quote from the mechanic and it’s#it’s bad but it’s either get this repair or get an all new car we can’t afford#this whole month has been a terrible downward spiral and I’m#trying so hard#I’m not well#things aren’t letting up#I have no motivation to do anything enjoyable#nothing feels enjoyable#I just#I want to sleep forever#I don’t want to deal with this anymore#I still can’t seem to get a job#Q’s job is mentally destroying him because of the things he’s now being exposed to#but he’s been trying to get a new job since mid April#I#no longer feel any hope that things will get better#Christmas?#I feel no Christmas joy#I feel no joy#I picked a shit time to get off my meds but#I don’t know I’m tired of taking pills#there’s nothing wrong with needing them I get that but I just#I didn’t want that anymore#sorry I just needed to yell into the void before I lose my fucking mind#I’m fine things will be fine they’re always fine in the end they have to be
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Every other aspect of Jesse’s trauma makes me go oh no poor blorbo :( but his relationship w his parents and thinking ab it in the context of the series aftermath actually makes me unwell… they never even knew him they only ever saw the worst in him and now they’ve had that validated by his own actions and they’ll never know how sorry he is and that he was a good kid at heart and they didn’t imagine it and they still love him but how can they have loved him if they never even knew him and only ever saw the worst in him *flatlines*
#i sometimes feel like i’m the only one here who cares ab jesse’s parents but look#i grew up upper middle class with very attentive parents who really loved me#who would also accuse me of doing really bizarre terrible shit based on nothing but me wearing too much black or reading the wrong things#the love is there but it’s conditional the love is unconditional bc you are my child but i don’t know or love you as a person#obviously jesse actually did some really bad shit but even before all that they thought of him more as a junkie than their son#not me unloading in the tags lol it just hits too close to home is all#if i ever put my parents through that shit i would have to kms sorry#breaking bad#brba#el camino#jesse pinkman#diane pinkman#adam pinkman
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honestly i just dont get why sometimes people get all weird about quadrants and insist they’re unhealthy always no matter what
like yeah im not stupid i know they CAN be fucked up and can be weird and toxic but so can any romance. human romance has been toxic and fucked up for me many times. tbh if we take a step back and just look at the basic ideas of all of them i don’t think any of those have to be evil and terrible necessarily
like oh no me and my boyfriend have a fun rivalry that we both like being in and both agreed to where we have fun competing with each other and talking shit and then make out! FUCK!!! that’s horrible i would NEVER want that! i would never be guilty of forcing my boyfriend to play tetris with me over and over and insulting him the entire time
oh no my boyfriend has anxiety and i calm him down! oh god we like cuddling and talking about feelings! we both agreed we like this relationship dynamic and feel fulfilled by it! AAA SCARY!!! GET SCARED!!!
oh no sometimes my boyfriends are both annoying and i voluntarily get between that and make people be less annoying! FUCK!!!!!!!! we are going to DIVORCE!!!
#it’s cool if you don’t personally want any of those things#and yeah#alternia is fucked up#big fucked up murder planet#they love insane fucked up rules that are bad for everyone#but idk i feel like all romance is kind of fucked up#and you usually always have to do an insane amount of work to make it healthy and normal lol#and none of these dynamics by necessity HAVE to be horrible#you don’t HAVE to only rely on your moirail and not talk to your friends about your feelings#you don’t HAVE to get fucked up with your kismesis#you don’t HAVE to be a sad unfulfilled auspistice who kinda gets pushed into the relationship#if i’m thinking about the dynamics purely just as concepts#none of that shits a requirement#idk if this makes any sense to anyone else lmao#i just mean like#i don’t think any of those things are uniquely terrible i guess not in any ways that human romance isn’t#and people manage to have ok human romances all the time#not as often as they should lmao#but sometimes#so why not quadrants#i can get being uncomfortable with them#they’re weird#and definitely more complex than i went into in the post#but i don’t think they’re uniquely terrible
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I’ve decided I want every piece of merch they have to offer
#saw a person talk about how they never wear hats but they were like yeah I love it and want it#like#do I need the poster? no but I’m gonna get it#can I affford 5 new pieces of clothing??? no#am I gonna get all of them?#yes#dan and phil#amazingphil#dan howell#phan#daniel howell#phil lester#dan and phil games#amazing phil#dnp#phan art#tit tour#tittour#dnptit#tit merch#terrible influence tour#terrible influence tour merch
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no bc when you stop and think about the full implications of fitz and the fool calling each other “beloved” you do have to go a little crazy. it’s required. because what do you mean that 6 sentences after fitz thinks, “being fitz had never been that enticing an existence” the fool summons him back to himself by calling him “beloved” and renewing their bond. what do you mean fitz refers to this as “burning my identity into me.” what do you mean “the word echoed through me, rebounded me from my fraying edges, found and bound me.” what do you mean. are you not going insane.
#me#rote spoilers#fitzloved#Fitz and the fool trilogy#fools quest#realm of the elderlings#like I know we all talk about it and we all get it but do we really. do we really Get It.#this chapter begins with Fitz and the Fool having an INSANE conversation about their relationship#where neither of them can see past their own self-loathing/self-recrimination#Fitz is like ‘I’m such a terrible person for abandoning u last night selfishly’#and the fool is like ‘please god all I want is for u to abandon me selfishly bc I’ve ruined your life’#and it’s. it’s. insane bc. they’re calling each other beloved. they’re calling each other beloved but they don’t get it. they don’t realize#that the other MEANS it.#like this chapter is literally: Fitz berates himself. Fitz then gets overwhelmed by the skill. He starts to disperse into the skill-current#bc the dissolution of his person into the void is attractive to the mental state he’s in#AND THEN!! the fool calls him beloved. AND IT PULLS HIM BACK. INTO HIMSELF. INTO HIS IDENTITY.#HIS IDENTITY IS BELOVED. HE IS BELOVED. THATS WHY HES STILL HERE. BECAUSE PEOPLE LOVE HIM. THE FOOL LOVES HIM.#they cannot see it themselves but their love for each other keeps the other going!!!!
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does anyone else get a little sexual thrill from temporarily giving into despair? Or am I just some kind of pervert.
#I actually think I’m much more of an emotional masochist than a physical one#I was always too scared to do any serious physical self harm#But I looove berating myself or finding new ways I could secretly be a terrible person#text#Although I do still love physical pain don’t misunderstand
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Look, I love Jon as much as the next person but I think some of you have gone so far along the ‘Jon is a sad little man who did nothing wrong’ route that you’ve genuinely forgotten all the times he held power in a situation or like. Made a decision that hurt people
#yes Jon was in a terrible situation where he was manipulated and was often powerless and blamed for things he had no control over#yes there have been times where the fandom has been overly critical of Jon and it’s ok to try to combat that#but that does not mean Jon is completely powerless and ‘stupid’ and did nothing wrong!!!!#the entire Point of tma is that the morality of your actions and their results cannot be simply defined as good or bad#Jon was just a person who tried and sometimes failed#also it was a pretty big part of s5 that Jon was the most powerful person in the world. like. did we forget about the murders or#AND the stalking AND him being a totally arse to Martin in s1#anyway I understand where the poor little meow meow characterisation comes from but to me it’s just doing a disservice to Jon#ugh I can’t believe I’m kinda engaging in discourse#gonna be brave and maintag this:#tma#the magnus archives#Jon sims#be nice to me pls
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I can imagine anything guy image: “I can spiral into tears and convince myself I’m the worst person alive over anything”
#it’s soooooo easy#‘hey that thing you said was kind of insensitive’ -> feel awful and apologize immediately ->#try to explain that I’m a flawed human being in hopes that they don’t hate me as much -> realize I’m using it as an excuse -> feel worse ->#want to explain that I feel bad in hopes that it makes my apology sound genuine -> realize if I do I’m starting a pity party ->#Devil on my shoulder says that I SHOULD start a pity party bc then people have to console me even though I’m the one who fucked up ->#realize that if the devil on my shoulder thinks that that some part of me must think that. thinking that is kind of terrible ->#feel like I’m terrible -> start crying -> realize that crying will turn it into a pity party anyway ->#realize that I don’t want to feel like I’m terrible. that I do actually want people to console me -> realize I don’t deserve it ->#admit that I am truly horrible for trying to turn my fuck up into a way to make people comfort me ->#post about it on tumblr to vent (?) -> realize now I’m starting a pity party in front of almost 8k people ->#realize that makes me even worse. -> break down in tears feeling sorry for myself when. again. IM the one who fucked up#repeat at and slight inconvenience or mistake. feel like a piece of shit forever :)#it’s a flawless system. if someone sees me struggling and tries to console me I can redirect that to confirm that I’m a horrible person#try and tell myself that I’m spiraling bc of mental illness -> that’s an excuse ->#excuse = horrible person bc I’m not willing to own up to my mistakes -> return to spiral
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sorry that art’s slowed down so much over the course of this year. the grind went extinct and now i spend all my free time playing minecraft and drawing random shit i’ll never post just because i feel like it. peace and love
#oakley speaks#ultimately though i think this is much healthier than whatever the hell i was doing#the art grind was too severe i had art burnout for three months. it was terrible#sorry for turning off reblogs i don’t want this to be some hashtag relatable thing#this is my life and i’m trying to make it worth living#and i’m doing that through video games and treating myself like a person
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Bnha makes me so mad because it could’ve been good. It had a lot of good aspects. But in the end none of them were satisfyingly resolved so it just feels bad.
#UGHHHHHH ik a million people have made posts like this but it’s pissing me off rn!#the ‘unfortunately’ in my username is more pointed than ever#(not that I’ve had a lot of hope it’d end well for a long ass time.#it’s just frustrating to make me love these characters and get attached to this world and then execute their stories so terribly.)#honestly I’d probably change my username to smth else (and I still might) if I hadn’t had it for so long#it’d be annoying if it messed up links in my past posts#but having smth vanguard related might be fun…#bnha critical#mha critical#<- tagging those so no one jumps down my throat for stating an opinion on my personal blog#and like. I’m not doing this to be a hater. I LIKE these characters and some of this story is very near and dear to my heart#I’m also not saying everything I didn’t like is a writing flaw#and in fact a lot of the things I didn’t like I think should stay there just get meaningfully addressed#but good godddddddddd it’s upsetting to see a story I cared abt sm & I leaned on during some shit end like this#whatever.#I haven’t even actually been keeping up besides looking at the spoilers for years now#it’s not like I’m gonna stop thinking abt the version that lives in my head. it’s just a shame about the official ending that’s all.#at the end of the day I’m not the author horikoshi is and that’s how he chose to end his story.
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I don’t Care about the ships WHERE IS JINX
#I’m so sad#I’m so sorry cai/tvi nation#I do not like that cop#I care about the siblings and the siblings alone#and ekko OBVIOUSly#Yk actually the ending was rlly good except the part where cait is still an enforcer b#and vi??? I don’t actually know if she is#ig she never quit#but she’s not wearing the blue so#idk#anyway I have a lot of thoughts#I’m really sad I was yelling in my room alone like a crazy person#AND MEL MY GOD HOW COULD I FOEGOR HER#I was blinded by the siblings im not gonna lie#but her arc was SO good#ok this got so rambly this was not meant to get like this#I wish we’d gotten like#1 more episode#to let the story breath a little bit#I think caits descent was brushed over tbh#I really fucked w the way they were going w it and then it just ended w a time skip#AND we don’t get Any resolution for it#I really hate the cop angle a lot#sorry I will never fuck w it#cait said and did terrible things and it’s really not… addressed#I would’ve loved to have seen her resign#I Wish vi could have dealt w how she betrayed her entire ideals and Became the very thing that tore her family apart in the first place#1-2 more episodes and more balls to go all in on the anti cop thing and I would have fucked w it meet#arcane spoilers
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it’s hilarious to me that fushiguro went back to his old middle school and everyone talked about how his sister, who went to middle school with him, was the one taking care of him because I’m convinced that seventeen year old gojo had his ass in a chair every pta meeting starting shit with the other moms and the entire administration collectively said “that man cannot even take care of himself” and decided twelve year old tsumiki was the only possible caretaker
#jjk#jujutsu kiasen#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#fushiguro tsumiki#fushiguro terrorized his middle school so thoroughly that he left and came back a year later and people almost pissed themselves#and gojo is 1200% that parent who finds out their kid got in a fight and sprints into the office to find out if they won#teacher: I’m very concerned about fushiguro. he gets into multiple fights every single day#principal: we have to take into consideration his home life. he’s being raised by someone who’s a child themself#teacher: do you mean gojo#principal: tsumiki#look gojo was seventeen and completely insane and his boyfriend just broke up with him so he could start a cult#Shoko was basically a child of divorce#his ENTIRE social circle was Megumi and tsumiki#overinvolved middle aged mother of four: I’m very concerned about the math curriculum#gojo age 17 decided teenage fatherhood could fix him: the math curriculum is a FUCKING DISGRACE#fushiguro was an eleven year old delinquent in such eternal discomfort that he was on the verge of ending it all if anyone looked at him#and there was gojo. the embarrassment.#pov youre just trying to run a school but a 17 year old magician with a terrible personality broke up with his equally atrocious boyfriend#now he keeps showing up pta meetings and trying to fight the other moms in the parking lot
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i hate this stupid ass fandom cause i’ll go ‘dean’s behavior towards sam is often abusive’ and people will get annoyed and talk abt how people are so sensitive and block me like oh my god i’m not saying it as a criticism i’m not even like insulting dean and i’m certainly not saying it in a way that means u shouldn’t like him i adore dean it’s just true………….
#i shudder to think of how people r in their interpersonal relationships irl if they have this little sense of nuance.. not to be a bitch. <3#ig the confusion comes from the whole ‘so and so is abusive/this relationship is abusive therefore u shouldn’t like it!!!!!!!!’ and people#think that’s what i’m saying when i say it abt dean ig but it’s literally just recognising events on screen#like on the most basic of levels… look at like s4 especially the bits of s4 when dean doesn’t know sams drinking demon blood cause literally#what he is so angry about there is sam doing things he doesn’t like (using his powers) and being w someone he doesn’t approve of (ruby)#like not even counting when the levee breaks which is so obviously terrible but it’s a horror show and the stakes are not real etc etc (dont#even fully personally agree but yk whatever).#like look at say metamorphosis… come on. if a man in your life acted the way dean does to sam during s4 i would certainly hope u looked at i#and thought hmmmm this is controlling and threatening and edging into abusive…..and then that this pattern just continues as the show goes#on…..like when does dean stop acting like this (he doesn’t it just has moments of flaring up)…..#the fact it’s a pattern is what makes it abusive💖#spn#oliver talks
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