#just allow myself to recharge maybe do some silly personal doodles
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#sigh#I wanted this break to be nice and relaxing#just allow myself to recharge maybe do some silly personal doodles#but we finally got the quote from the mechanic and itās#itās bad but itās either get this repair or get an all new car we canāt afford#this whole month has been a terrible downward spiral and Iām#trying so hard#Iām not well#things arenāt letting up#I have no motivation to do anything enjoyable#nothing feels enjoyable#I just#I want to sleep forever#I donāt want to deal with this anymore#I still canāt seem to get a job#Qās job is mentally destroying him because of the things heās now being exposed to#but heās been trying to get a new job since mid April#I#no longer feel any hope that things will get better#Christmas?#I feel no Christmas joy#I feel no joy#I picked a shit time to get off my meds but#I donāt know Iām tired of taking pills#thereās nothing wrong with needing them I get that but I just#I didnāt want that anymore#sorry I just needed to yell into the void before I lose my fucking mind#Iām fine things will be fine theyāre always fine in the end they have to be
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