#i don’t think any of those things are uniquely terrible i guess not in any ways that human romance isn’t

[froggy-nebula]

honestly i just dont get why sometimes people get all weird about quadrants and insist they’re unhealthy always no matter what

like yeah im not stupid i know they CAN be fucked up and can be weird and toxic but so can any romance. human romance has been toxic and fucked up for me many times. tbh if we take a step back and just look at the basic ideas of all of them i don’t think any of those have to be evil and terrible necessarily

like oh no me and my boyfriend have a fun rivalry that we both like being in and both agreed to where we have fun competing with each other and talking shit and then make out! FUCK!!! that’s horrible i would NEVER want that! i would never be guilty of forcing my boyfriend to play tetris with me over and over and insulting him the entire time

oh no my boyfriend has anxiety and i calm him down! oh god we like cuddling and talking about feelings! we both agreed we like this relationship dynamic and feel fulfilled by it! AAA SCARY!!! GET SCARED!!!

oh no sometimes my boyfriends are both annoying and i voluntarily get between that and make people be less annoying! FUCK!!!!!!!! we are going to DIVORCE!!!

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi - Quick Reacts (CHA 15: Porridge)

It’s time for... VOLUME 3!

It’s them again! The guys who got got by the bug coins! 

NO ONE checked their pulses - confirmed. Lmfao. Great job, main party. You all failed your medicine checks. 

This is the... third time? That there’s been mention of monsters moving UP floors. Something has been driving them up out of the lower layers of the dungeon? 

I don’t think it was our guys who did THAT. Fallin was the one who was handy with anti-ghost spells, right? Marcille didn’t know how to do it? 

But the trail says otherwise. Interesting. 

.....business is business..........I guess.

Damn, they got down there FAST. Guess the paintings didn’t slow them down much. I wonder if doodle-Laios is still there.......trapped. 

The idea of having a water level that you WALK over is honestly a super cool dungeon concept. It creates such a unique atmosphere that forces the characters to think about their surroundings in a totally different way. 

I would die for you, dog-man.

“Mermaids, hm? Average Tuesday.“

Those mermaids can pull me underwater any time they want. 

This is kinda cute, not gonna lie. 

NOOOOOOOO SHE DIDN’T HEAR HIM BECAUSE OF THE EARPLUGS!!! NOOOO

Oh, how the tables have turned. Now it’s Marcille and Senshi as the sensible ones. 

They really did just die again, huh. 

To be fair, I don’t know if it’s their skill level that’s at fault. It feels like they just have shit luck. 

Laios did not pay enough attention to care, I think.

Old take on kobolds that makes them dog-like! That’s fun. I’m personally fond of lizard-flavored Kobolds myself but it’s still fun to see familiar terminology.

Do mermaids really turn into fish-faced people when dead??? 

for a second there I thought he straight up slapped him ahahaa

oh my god. Laios is. Singing terribly. To combat. the mermaids. 

Does that...........work? SHOULd it work? Holy shit. 

IT WAS THE MERMAID’S OWN SONG??????

THE COMMITMENT!!! THE CHUTZPAH

Incredible. 10/10. 

Laios is incredible in that he is basically a Horny Guy trope that’s constantly berated by the cast for a base instinct but... instead of sex his base instinct is just hunger and the urge to eat the weirdest ass thing he finds.

I’m gonna ignore whatever emotional turmoil Chilchuck is going through in order to ask.... WHAT?? Are they different species or not? And if so, do they.... work together? Are they filling different niches? Do they not compete for one another? 

Or maybe they’re just a dimorphic species. Maybe the sirens are the dude fishes, and the fish-mermaids are the females. 

The spectrum of this man is edging into ultraviolet territory. 

This is. A fantastic meme base. 

guys can we call it literally anything else

10 photos taken before a disaster

Top DnD College Kid Dinners

Honestly, I respect her ability to just say ‘meh’ and move on though.

DO NOT. RUIN THIS FOR HER.

[kenonade]

for the ask game—3, 5, 18, and 25 for peter wiggin?

THE GUY!!!!!!!!!

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

It’s hard to say because, and I say this with shame—I haven’t read the books in a long, long time. Off the top of my head though, I didn’t like that part in Ender’s Stocking where he became weirdly misogynistic. That was weird. I’m not and have never been a genius teen boy with a younger sister who got rejected by a girl at high school so I can’t say if the interplay between those specific factors would create that outcome—but I sure can say, I didn’t like it.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Ether Strike - Akira Complex. It’s hard to explain because it’s a rhythm game song (hello Arcaea fans) whose lyrics consists of like 4 unique lines but I’ll try. “An intense dissatisfaction with the world / And a compulsion to do something about it / Heaven and Earth / My guiding star” It is a compulsion, right? The way he decided he’d be the one to be in charge of it all. Fueled by a sense of desperation for any amount of validation and the guilt that came with. “My guiding star” reminds me of the conversation he had with Ender at the end of Shadow of the Giant where he said that he’d always think, what would Ender do? It helps that I hear a lot of grief, longing, and determination in the drop, too. Honorable mentions to All You Had To Do Was Stay by TS and Mirror Man by Jack Stauber.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Admire is a weirdly specific word in this context. There’s Bean, Petra, his parents, Graff, Achilles, Ender, Val whom I can see him having notable relationships with. Honestly, none of them are quite admirable? These relationships are interesting and complex and I like reading about them but I wouldn’t say that I look up to them for guidance on what to do with my own social life? The only exception is his relationship with Petra. He gave her space to grieve and a cushion to fall back on. He learned to love and they learned to trust.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Dude, the first time I read Ender’s Game I was 12 years old. I don’t even remember how I felt towards the book overall. If I had to guess, I probably didn’t like him. At that stage in my life I would’ve related more to Ender. I do, however, remember the first time I picked EG up for a reread. I fell in love IMMEDIATELY. From the moment the book underlined his hatred with how he felt he wasn’t good enough, I knew he was THE standout character. The scene where he apologizes to Ender thinking that Ender’s asleep… HEARTWRENCHING. His heart-to-heart with Val… MY HEART BROKE. Meanwhile he was also so silly and goofy… literally the most crass character, always saying some wild out of pocket thing that made me go “hang on, we read this in sixth grade??!??” Now, with the part of the Enderverse that pertains to him completely in my pocket, it’s hard to pin down how I feel about him. From a personal perspective, he’s still by far my favorite character. His struggles and triumphs are vivid in a way that the other character’s just don’t live up to, and his failures are incredibly real. Viewing the books from a more critical view, Peter’s existence is interesting in and of itself because he occupies a lot of gray areas in the narrative. He’s a major antagonist in EG, and the only one that changes from an antagonist to a protagonist. He’s meant to be untrustworthy while being likable, making him rather unserious. In a narrative that usually frames characters as People We Should Listen To and People We Shouldn’t Listen To, Peter is the only character that we sorta kinda maybe should listen to depending on how much despair he’s experiencing. He’s explicitly allowed to make terribly embarrassing mistakes that threaten to debase his entire character, but he’s allowed to be helped. He’s allowed to crack jokes; the narrative is allowed to crack jokes about him. There’s an inherent levity to any scene he’s in. He can’t take the moral high ground in any argument—we’ve all seen him at his worst—yet he’s also working towards putting more good in the world. He’s a character filled to the brim with contradictions and even more determination to work through them. As a result, his viewpoints have a nebulous, fluid quality that made it impossible for OSC to use him as a personal megaphone, since, though the reader encouraged to challenge Peter’s assumptions, at the end of the day we’re still on Peter’s side—we want him to succeed, but we know that he WILL fumble doing it. He’s personable. And vivid. Which makes him a poor tool and a fabulous icon. A role that sort of echos his treatment in the novels themselves. Anyway. I think he’s neat.

[andypantsx3]

I’ve written to you before a very long time ago about things not going very well for me, and things are better now. Thank you for your compassion to a stranger then. It’s given me ideas as someone who also enjoys writing. I’m sure you’ve got variations of this question before so I’m sorry if I’ve missed those somehow but any advice on how to start writing and sharing your writing publicly? Like I created an account to send you this but I have no clue about anything really. Will I seem like a random interloper in the fandom who has arrived out of the blue 😭 I guess my concern is I’ll realize I’m actually not good at writing at all or worse nobody will read any of it. I feel awkward about actively promoting my work too. I don’t want to be famous or anything but it would suck if nobody wanted to read my stuff. You’re something of a stalwart at least for the fandom/genre/pairings you regularly write for and while I won’t aspire to that, how did you deal with self-doubt as an early writer? I know it’s not like I hope to earn money out of this or anything so opinions are just opinions but all my writing feels so personal to me that I’m worried about being convinced nobody cares about what I have to say. How does one really get their start at all. I’m sorry to bother you with all this but I’m super lost. It’s just that if someone’s terrible day or week could be made a little better because of my work, as your work regularly does for people, that would be nice. I hope you’re doing really well and randomly find something you’ve been looking for!

Hello my love!! I'm so happy I could help you out a little when you were in a tough spot!! I am very very happy that things are looking up for you now and I hope things only continue to get better and better!!! 💕

And oh my gosh, I don't think anyone will think of you as an interloper!!! Fandom is a community and the more the merrier imho! The x Reader community in particular is super welcoming and very nonjudgmental and the perfect place to get your start; almost everyone here is super nice and really chill. People will surprise you with how much nicer they are than you expect; I think you should just take a leap of faith and jump in!!

But just in case, let me give you the most realistic and straightforward advice I can. It's easy to dip your toes in and test the waters but I think you will need the below pieces of advice if you plan to battle self-doubt and continue writing & publishing fic without burning out or going nuts in the long term lol.

1. Find balance in the source of your self-worth

With publishing anything online, you always hope that people will like it and will want to engage with it. On tumblr the best measurement we have of that is notes, and on ao3 kudos + comments. Notes/comments/kudos are incredible and will make you feel more cherished than anything in the world. I will always appreciate them more than I can say, but one thing it is essential to know is that they are external sources of validation, and it is extremely dangerous to attach your sense of worth solely to the actions of other people.

If you want to publish fic, you will need to also find some internal sense of worth in your writing. You will need to finely balance that with how much you treasure the feedback of other people in order to stay afloat long term.

I recommend really sitting down and thinking about what you are writing/what you want to write, and why it is worth it to you. What makes your fic interesting to you? What are you doing differently than other people that makes you unique? What does your authorial voice sound like? Answering these questions will help you identify what you are bringing to the table as an author, so you know what it is that you do well, even if people aren't engaging the way you want, or even if you're receiving criticism.

For me, I really find value in the places I diverge from other fic authors. People really love writing powerful hero readers, but I usually write quirkless side characters who have somehow found themselves the main character. Chaptered/long fics are also less common in our fandom than oneshots, but I typically write chaptered fics! And I have a stylistically simple and light voice which is easily accessible.

All of these help me know that I'm bringing some fun distinct stuff to the table, even if what I'm bringing isn't perfect or necessarily as popular. And even if I enjoy other peoples' fics and authorial voices more than my own; I'm still bringing something unique and valuable!! So even when people aren't picking up every single thing I'm putting down, I still know the value of putting them down anyway.

2. Manage expectations

I think it can be easy to compare ourselves with one another, especially if you follow some well-established authors or people writing for super popular characters. Even I succumb to jealousy on occasion; it's just human nature. But it's important to know people will engage with different types of fics in different ways and that other people's success has nothing to do with your own.

I think you should set realistic expectations for how people will engage with your fics depending on what it is that you want to write. Some fandoms are much larger than others and therefore have a wider built-in audience. Some characters are also wildly more popular than others so it is likelier fics for those characters will go a bit further. In my experience, people really gravitate towards smutty scenarios or headcanons, sometimes oneshots, and less so chaptered fic. And some authors have been around for forever, or post constantly so that they are regularly drawing people in, and therefore have a larger reader pool than other authors.

So think about what you are writing, for which characters, and in which fandoms, and level your expectations accordingly. For me, even though Shouto is fairly popular, he also only has roughly 1/3 of Bakugou's level of popularity. So I never try to gauge the success of a Shouto fic in comparison to a Bakugou fic I've written, or even the Bakugou fics of other more established Bakugou writers.

This, combined with my own internal sense of worth as a writer, helps me feel like I'm doing pretty good for myself, even if I get like, 30 notes on a fic compared to someone else's 300 or something.

3. Understand that writing is a growing process!

One other essential tip is to understand that writing is a skill set than can be refined and honed. What you write one day is not indicative of where your skill level will sit the next day. And so critique you receive, or mistakes you have made, are really less indicative of failure and more tools to help you get to the next level.

This is one I've personally struggled with, but it can be worth it to be open to feedback that is not necessarily complimentary, with the caveat that you should know what is objective constructive criticism, and what is more subjective/personal preference. The latter you can disregard, because tailoring a fic to some random person's arbitrary tastes is not going to help you tell a good story lol.

But people telling you what they would like to see more of or things that didn't make sense to them can help you understand where you can make improvements to your writing. And it's not to say your writing is not good enough where it is; only to say there are avenues for you to develop even more experience.

For me, this has largely been in the area of smut lol. I liked my lil vanilla smut scenes, but I used to commonly get a fair amount of feedback wishing they were spicier. And, after initially getting defensive lmao, I could see how that was a common piece of feedback across multiple critiques, and I understood how drawing those scenes out might help contribute to the feeling of intimacy, satisfaction, and closure I want to develop at the end of a fic!!

I think being open to feedback while understanding that critique does not in any way take away from your talent overall, can only help you preserve the satisfaction you have with your writing, and help you refine in the future!! It keeps writing interesting, and keeps your sense of self-worth tied up in the process of writing, not necessarily the product of the writing, if that makes sense.

Anyway that's what I can think of for now. Even with all this advice listed out, I think you should just have hope and trust in people and dive right in. It sounds like you are an earnest person wanting to make heartfelt connections, and in my experience people will reflect that energy right back at you!!

I am sending you all my best vibes and looking forward to reading your stuff, if you end up going for it and posting!!! 💕✨

[nobodysdaydreams]

hey bods! Hope you’re having a wonderful Advent! I was wondering if you have any fun advent traditions or just preparing-for-Christmas things you like to do. It’s my favorite liturgical season so I mainly just wanted to talk about it (probably gonna make a little advent info post for fun!) anyway have a good day!

Oh indeed I do, it’s my favorite liturgical season too 🥰

Besides the usual Christmas preparations (charity, gift giving, etc), I also celebrate with an advent wreath 💜���🩷💜🤍. My siblings and I would each get to light a candle (can you guess which one mine was/still is 💖), and my family also sometimes does service projects together if we’re all in the same area. This year my siblings and I went shopping for a family in need together.

Additionally, when I was young, my family would read from something called “The Advent Book”. It was published in 2000 and you can still order the book here. The premise of the Advent Book is simple. Each day, you flip a page in the book and open a door that tells part of the Christmas story, leading up to Christmas Day. Each page/door also has an animal on it, and as a kid I tried to name them all. The doors are all unique and beautifully illustrated. However, when we were children, our personal favorite, hands down, was “the evil king door”. This was the door that told Herod’s part of the story (for my non-Christian followers, he’s the king who heard about Jesus’ birth and instead of being like “oh goodie, God incarnate, that’s pretty neat, let’s have a party!” he was like “I’m deeply insecure about this baby being called a king. no one challenges me. Every baby boy under two has to die now”, which is a totally normal and rational response to a prophecy (read: sarcasm)).

Now you might say to yourself, Bods, that’s terrible! Why would his door be the undisputed favorite? Well, because the door was made of really pretty stained glass and had a rainbow bird as its animal, okay? They obviously should have made his door dark and scary with an evil murder hornet or something. My mom always liked to say it was a metaphor for judging a book by its cover and how pretty things can be deceiving, but that didn’t stop us from fighting over who got to open/read the door. I’m not proud of it, but in my defense, look at this door:

It’s a nice looking door, right? I mean, they all look cool, don’t get me wrong, but I like stained glass, okay? Baby Bods was there for the stained glass, not the murder, I promise. Adult Bods thinks that in hindsight the door was overrated. Here are some of the other ones:

So yeah, sort of got sidetracked there, but those are some of my advent traditions. You can order the book online, and if you have the opportunity to collaborate with friends or family for a giving tree project or to help a family in need at Christmas, I highly recommend it. God Bless and have a wonderful Christmas!

[side-shuffling-hyperfixations]

Let Me Count The Ways

Summary: Stan wonders why his family thinks he's worth a celebration. Ford takes their birthday as an opportunity to remind him of so many reasons.

“You’re strong.”

“Well, that goes without saying. Look at these arms!”

“You’re resilient and brave, even if it is to the point of recklessness—”

“Yeah, and how many times has it saved your skin?”

“And on that note, while I may not always appreciate it in the moment, I can’t deny the potency and effectiveness of your protective streak.”

“Isn’t that kinda just like saying the same thing twice? Come on, Poindexter, you’ve got a big brain and an even bigger mouth for all this waxing poetic but I doubt even you can come up with sixty-something reasons I’m apparently so great or worth celebrating.”

“Is that a challenge, Stanley?”

“Uh, no? But you’re probably going to take it as one anyway, aren’t you? If you’re really that invested in swelling my head up as big as these balloons, feel free to keep trying, I guess—”

“Very well then, I will, considering the fact that I still have a plethora of wonderful things to say about you! You’re shrewd and savvy, and not just as a businessman crunching the numbers. No matter the situation, you continue to think outside the box and look at things from distinctive, fresh angles. Your unique perspective and insights always find a way to surprise me.”

“Heh. That’s me, Mr. Full of Surprises!”

“You’re creative and offbeat. Your humor may not be very opportune or to my particular taste but I have to admit—”

“Aha, so you do think I’m funny! Yes, yes, I knew it! Trust me, I’m gonna remember you said that!”

“I didn’t even get to finish what I—”

“Don’t have to! A ‘have to admit’ is good enough for me to hold it over your head next time you try to say my puns are terrible.”

“The puns are terrible.”

“You’re smiling!”

“Never mind that I’m smiling, let me make my point! What I was going to say is that I can’t fault your enthusiasm. When you’re at your best, your happiest, your spirit is infectious. You’re…uncontainable. You inspire me.”

“Ahh, geez, anything but inspiring! Lord knows you don’t need me feeding any more of your crazy ideas!”

“Haha, perhaps not—but if or when those ideas take any unfortunate turns, I can trust that you’ll be right there to face them with me. I’ve never known anyone else to have such unshakeable loyalty…even for those who may not deserve it.”

“Wha—Hey, don’t say that. You do, you deserve it.”

“Just as you deserve to be acknowledged for it. You deserve to be appreciated; you deserve to be thanked.”

“You’ve already thanked me.”

“I can never thank you enough, Stanley—for all of it, everything you’ve done for me. Everything you are to me.”

“You…Ford, come on…You don’t have to get all serious about it.”

“I am serious. It may not look or feel like much to you but don’t forget, I wouldn’t be here—I probably wouldn’t have survived to see this birthday if it weren’t for your hard work, your care, your determination, forgiveness and faith, your heart.”

“…Ugh, you really do go for a plethora, don’t you? You don’t have to make such a big deal out of…I mean, what else was I supposed to do, just let you go? There really wasn’t much reason to celebrate our birthday without you.”

“I suppose you’re right. I wouldn’t be here to celebrate you properly.”

“T-That’s not what I meant, stop turning it around on me!”

“Why? This is what we agreed, isn’t it? We agreed to be more open with what we’re feeling and this is it. I know perfectly well how much love you have to give, how much you always give for this family. Now I need you to know how grateful I am to be included in it, to be one of the people you love—to be one of the people who get to love you too. If it takes sixty-something reasons to convince you, that’s what I’m here to do.”

“…”

“And this time, when I thank you, I mean every word. I’m—truly, I’m so grateful, and so glad, and so honored to be your brother.”

“…”

“Stanley? Are you—?”

“…Jerk.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Jerk. You and all your words. Y-You know there’s no way I can top a speech like that.”

“Heheh, yes, well, I wouldn’t ask you to try. There is something else you have that I don’t; it will be a much more beneficial gift to me than words.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“Your healthy appetite. I need you to polish off what’s left of this cake before Mabel tries to push one more slice down my throat. It’s even more saccharine than my speech.”

[adamwatchesmovies]

Monster Hunter (2020)

Most probably wouldn’t consider Monster Hunter good for valid reasons. I will acknowledge the movie's flaws while admitting I enjoyed it for what it is. There are some cool monster designs, exciting action scenes and unexpected turns. Today, that’s enough for me and I don’t think I’ll be the only one who says so.

U.S. Army Ranger Captain Natalie Artemis (Milla Jovovich) and her United Nations security team are searching for a missing team of soldiers in the desert when they are suddenly transported to another world. On this hostile planet, humans co-exist with savage monsters of all shapes and sizes. Joining forces with a warrior from the New World (Tony Jaa), Artemis heads towards a mysterious tower in the distance. “The Hunter” was headed that way with his troupe of warriors before they became separated. Artemis hopes the tower is linked to the storm that ripped her away from Earth.

The neat thing about this movie is that Artemis and The Hunter don’t speak a common language. I mean, how could they? After realizing they’d rather stand together against the monsters that would eat, squish, incinerate or lay eggs inside them, our heroes team up. Most of the movie is about Artemis and The Hunter slowly learning to trust each other despite not being able to fully understand what the other is saying. Oh, and dodging the various monsters along the way. Actually, I wish the film showed off more monsters than it does, mostly because the big bad at the end is generic. It looks plenty cool, but the design is uninspired, particularly when compared to the Apceros, the Diablos or the Nerscyllas. Those creatures are memorable and unique, so you’re not even sure if they’re hostile or what their abilities might be. When/if our heroes have to fight them, you’ll have a great time learning what their weak points are and what the best strategy is.

I’ve never played any of the games the film is inspired by but if I were to guess, I’d say it captures the feel of them about as well as Paul W.S. Anderson’s other adaptation of a Capcom property: Resident Evil. That’s to say that the plot's nothing like it, but the visuals are there. I say this because we see plenty of weird-looking characters and people with weapons that probably wouldn’t make sense in real life but certainly look cool - The Hunter’s gigantic bow, for instance. It doesn’t make for a deep film, but as something you kick back and watch, it's certainly entertaining.

Where Monster Hunter loses points is during the last third, when we’re introduced to a Monster World inhabitant who speaks English. How he knows it doesn’t make much sense. It feels like a studio-mandated decision to make sure people would understand what’s going on, but come on. We spent over an hour of this movie piecing things together without anyone holding our hand. Why not have confidence in us paying attention all the way through? Monster Hunter also makes bizarre choices right at the end. The film ends. The credits start rolling. Then it starts up again and concludes. The credits roll once more only for a stinger that promises a sequel to pop up once the last name has scrolled past. The “first” conclusion wasn’t definitive. It was elegant in a way that said “This part of the adventure is over, but there are more monsters out there”. Going over that thought two more times is clumsy.

There’s not much dialogue and the plot is straightforward. That’s appropriate for a movie called Monster Hunter. The world is full of monsters. Find a way to survive the encounters and get back home! Sure, it means the title is a giant misnomer but should that promised sequel materialize (it’s not going to) it would’ve made sense. I went into Monster Hunter expecting it to be terrible because, despite a few recent outliers, most video game adaptations have been lackluster at best. I was pleasantly surprised. I'd watch another Monster Hunter. I'd even watch this again before any of the Resident Evil films. (August 6, 2023)

[alienssstufff]

If you get the time and inclination pls do share with us your beef with the existing zombie apocalypse genre, I have my own feelings about it (I think it overshadows other types of fictional apocalypses a bit too much in most ppl's heads) but I'd love hearing someone else's take on it (and also how you would improve the genre if you like :3 )

oh ABSOLUTELY it does! One way its probably the easiest type of apocalypses to write abt just cuz there’s already so many and such an established I guess wwww scenario and tropes to it (?) In consequence bc of how ‘easy’ it is, it becomes so damn samey and the zombie apocalypse genre (and apocalypses genres as a whole) gets such bad rep for that reason. [The rest atp is me ranting abt zombie apocalypses specifically those are the ones I have beef with]

When I ask ppl why they don’t like apocalyptic stories most answers is just the amount of carnage that’s in them it’s horrible— to put it better: unnecessary violence in an already terrible world is what they think abt. When people think of apocalypse stories they think of the movies made in Hollywood. Muscular, American white man whos good at everything who kicks ass and saves the world singlehandedly. And the rep for zombie-driven games aren’t any better either… Not saying that stories of kicking ass taking names are ALL bad but most of it is very surface level reasoning as to why . That being said I wish there was more focus on mental health in zombie stories, realisations that the world ended and they’ll never go back to how it was before, instances of the struggles of learning how to adapt to this new way of living. There’s many topics that could be discussed and so many themes that haven’t been fully developed (or done poorly) in zombie apocalypses but seldom media’s deliver u_u

I think the zombie stories that stand out to me the most are the ones that revolve around normal people. There’s an vid essay somewhere that talks abt the success of Train to Busan as a movie, it’s still just as action packed as the ones above but it’s also rly freaking emotional as the characters and cultural themes they represent can hit p close to home for the target demographic. Also I cannot recommend enough Gakkou Gurashi (School Live)! It’s almost never talked about solely cuz of Episode 1 and even now I’m trying to be as vague as I can Please watch that anime/manga you will not regret it.

And finally worldbuilding always a sucker for worldbuilding I need more of it. Not how to stop it but more of How The Hell we fucked up that badly to ended up in this situation. Give me zombie stories of patient 0s, pov scientists fumbling in the lab etc I want THAT. I freaking love the worldbuilding in The Last of Us , such a unique way in designing zombies inspirations from real life (I believe funghi that controls dead ants). That freaking hospital part in TLOU2 will always have a lasting impression on me the environmental storytelling of the flooded hospital and the whole backstory of how the Rat King came to be an amalgamation of all the victims of Seattle’s Patient 0 zone forced to fuse because of the such claustrophobic and wet conditions of the basement OHMYFUCKINGVGG its so well thought out.

Overall my frustrations with apocalypses is just - the amount of untouched potential and themes that SHOULD be addressed but aren’t - to get creative with it. And even without mention of the worldbuilding stories of the average joe like u and I trying to do smth as ‘simple’ as going to the store but there are mental and physical struggles along the way would be fine too - u don’t need to fly a jet and shoot a rocket launcher to make things interesting. Relatability and/or creativity is what I wish.

[this was so fun to think abt anon if u have things u wanna share feel free to shoot another ask I’m all ears!]

[twistedtummies2]

Fifteen Days of Disney Magic - Number 8

Welcome to Fifteen Days of Disney Magic! In honor of the company’s 100th Anniversary, I am counting down my Top 15 Favorite Movies from Walt Disney Animation Studios! We're now halfway through the countdown! Today’s entry proves the quote, “The past is never dead. It isn’t even past.” Number 8 is…The Lion King.

If I had to make a few guesses, I’d say the most unorthodox things about my countdown would be the following: one, putting “Fun & Fancy Free,” of all films, in my Top 15. Two, only including one modern era Disney film in the ranks, and we’ll get to that one eventually, don’t worry. Three, not including “Beauty and the Beast” in my Top 10…and four, making “The Lion King” ONLY 8th place. Yes, I am aware that I am a blasphemous heathen who deserves to be hit with a stick. So sue me. Once again, I must stress, do not take the lower placement of “The Lion King” to mean I dislike the film. Because, obviously, I do not. I think the movie is one of the most epic features Disney has ever put out, and it’s not a surprise that so many people name it as one of their top five favorite Disney movies, or even their absolute favorite. It was one of the most successful features of its time, and for good reason. Combining elements of Shakespeare with earlier animated works, including the anime “Kimba the White Lion” and Disney’s own “Bambi,” and a lot of its own original material, “Lion King” was and still is a unique movie in the Disney canon. In some ways, I would argue it’s a little more adult than many other Disney films, although it still has plenty of elements that can appeal to children, or even to one’s inner child.

There are many things that make this film as “big” as it is. The visuals are sweeping and grand; even the most minor shots always seem to have a lot of punch to them. It takes great advantage of the colors and visual motifs of its natural African setting to create some of the most gorgeous images you’ll find in any animated movie. Practically every frame of this film, if you were to halt it in place, could make a perfectly composed picture; almost something you would want to hang up on your wall. From childhood innocence to the bitterness of adulthood, and everything in-between, it patterns the emotional and physical journeys of Simba beautifully. Hans Zimmer’s score is equally powerful; I feel this actually may be one of his most underrated soundtracks, since when most people think of his name, they probably think of his work with Christopher Nolan, or on franchises like “Pirates of the Caribbean,” and when most people think of music in the Lion King, they tend to think of the songs. And while the songs are great – REALLY great – I think that Zimmer’s score is equally applause-worthy, as it works with the imagery (and the splendid voice cast) to paint every character and scene expertly. However, when I rewatched the film, what struck me most was the overall message of the story. This is where I think it’s most adult elements show: not in the death of Mufasa, or the family struggles, but in its ultimate and most prominent theme. The film is ultimately about one person learning to overcome his own perceived past mistakes, and bring justice and truth to a world filled with lies. We have all made mistakes or wished to correct unjust situations, and I think that theme is just as powerful today as it ever was. For me, it is perhaps especially poignant; I have, more and more frequently, found myself dealing with old wounds and not-so-forgotten errors, and wishing I could find a way to correct all those terrible things I did or said. So I can relate to someone like Simba in a way that’s different from many other characters Disney has created. As far as its competition with “Aladdin,” "Peter Pan," and “Beauty and the Beast” can be concerned, Lion King ranks high on all counts. Using the criteria I named in my previous two entries on the countdown: Lion King certainly has a lot of nostalgic value for me, and I do tend to refer to it more than “Beauty and the Beast” in everyday situations. I’d say it and Aladdin are pretty evenly tied there. I also have a close connection to it in writing, since my commission work has led to me writing A LOT of stories set in the universe of this film and its later spin-offs. And while there aren’t AS many parts I’d like to play in the story, in terms of a stage version, the chance to be in it, or even to just SEE it, onstage would be absolutely fantastic beyond belief – something I’d look forward to more than either of the other two films it was competing with. Therefore, it tops them both…but not the other films yet to come. I'm going to be honest, before I close this out: this film actually rose in the ranks by a grand margin. Just as I fully expected to put Peter Pan at the top of the four-part stretch when I went in, I actually expected to put Lion King at either 9th or 10th place. But upon returning to it, and reflecting on everything it means to me and all its done for me, I realized just how special this film truly was. It's not enough to break it into the Top 7...but I think when you see what those seven films are, you'll understand that being 8th place is far from an insult to this film's colossal credit. The countdown continues tomorrow with my 7th Favorite Disney Movie! HINT: An Underrated Mouse-terpiece.

[majoringinsarcasm]

I read IG comments again this is a sad ramble don’t read this. Sincerely if you read this and are rude I’m blocking you lol

I think ironically the most frustrating and sad thing about all those “why other countries hate Americans” posts is that

1) It points out very legitimate awful things that current day citizens Cannot Control or Change

2) The sweeping generalizations that, while anyone can have, feel very white American leaning

Don’t be me don’t read Instagram comments but I just read a bunch and so much of it was either your government sucks, which yes it does thanks bestie. Or just education stuff and how we don’t know geography or other cultures or history. Or a very unique “you call yourselves Americans despite other counties being in America you’re so entitled by claiming that title for yourself”

And maybe it’s bc I’m black. Maybe it’s bc my brain doesn’t like rules that I can’t follow the logical road to. But. That’s not our fault.

And what I mean by that is that we only know what we are taught. That’s not a full excuse to NOT CARE about other countries but as children and into adulthood schools only tell us So Much. And if you went to a lower income school you didn’t even learn as much as higher income schools. We’re in school for 12-14 years before age 18 and then it’s either Go To College to get a job or Get a Job right away. And things like learning other languages or culture studies are only useful For A Job if you’re going into that field.

Now. I would’ve loved if my school taught other languages. We had Spanish but it was the “memorize this thing” type and not actually teaching you how the language is formed. And it’s really hard to learn a New Language as an adult. (Which is why the insistence that people speak English when they move or immigrate here is so stupid). BUT I wasn’t. We didn’t have the money for that. And as you can see by current events what history WAS taught is trying to be BANNED as of now.

This sounds so very “be sad for Americans” or US citizens I guess if ppl are gonna be picky about what we were told to call ourselves without any alternative which again We Did Not Choose. But also the US isn’t just white people. And there are many people white included who HATE how things are run. How land is stolen and people silenced and killed. How our money is used without our permission to fund wars and not given to those who need it. Many of us who might be proud of individual roots aren’t proud of the country itself. But uhhhh good luck getting Money to Go anywhere else.

It’s like being tied to a chair with tape over our mouths watching as other counties talk about how we’re terrible and live under a corrupt government and we kill people and we kill ourselves. And thrashing and screaming because WE FUCKING LIVE HERE. THE AWFUL SHIT YOURE COMPLAINING ABOUT IS OUR DAILY LIVES. WE ARE THE ONES LIVING LIKE THIS WE ARE THE ONES WHO ARE TOLD ITS FINE TO KILL PPL AS LONG AS ITS THR RIGHT PEOPLE. AND THOSE WHO SPEAK OUT ARE ARRESTED OR KILLED

A man was killed in broad daylight on camera and when people marched for him and protested against police brutality they were met with More brutality! A woman was killed in her bed. A boy was killed going to work. In front of their kids. While fleeing a crime scene. Indigenous people ARE NOT GONE they are still fighting to keep their children in Native families. Like.

I get it. I fucking get it. I truly do. But YOU are seeing an entire patchwork of people under one umbrella. We are living day to day watching people we love and people we don’t know who deserve to just fucking live be utterly crushed. We are kept ignorant on purpose. The rise of AI makes “a simple google search” an entity new obstacle. We don’t control where our races go. Our public transit is not well funded our schools are not well funded. We don’t. Have. Places to be that aren’t Home or Work anymore.

Again this is not to take away from the Active Genocides going on. Or the way the US Government is complicit in many many crimes against humanity.

I’m just saying that many many of us aren’t running around shirtless praising the place. I don’t want to. Live. Thinking I’ll be stuck under awful leadership until I fucking kill myself man. You’re looking at the shitshow from across an ocean. We live here. I can’t explain the disconnect of seeing actual suppression of the truth and education and how fucked up it is and how helpless it is knowing that firing back isn’t as easy as yall make it sound. Not to say we just sit around and do nothing. But some Europeans talk about resistance and shit and it’s like they Kill Us In Public And Get Away With It Over Here.

Idk man. They’re not wrong about some points but it’s sad LIVING here and knowing information about other places is deliberately not taught or readily available. They called it brainwashing but clearly they don’t think about what that actually entails. Never learning about the color red doesn’t mean blue is the best. You’re just never given a chance to see other colors.

[boct-kimerakal]

well i’ll be. a repost... from MEEEE? actually, this was intended as a discord message in reply... but i think i just got too into typing it over here and then i got too lazy to transcribe this over to discord. because i’m actually secretly a CAT and we’re anecdotally LAZY. PLUS. i SUUUUPPOOOOSE there’s also no pressure to ever reply if i put it on here for you to just read first! since OC yappage can tucker a guy (ghost) out... if you ever see this that is. i’ll likely NEVER do this again because of course i’ve got an air of mystery to maintain, but for now you get a little interview sesh since i’m FUELLED BY GREEN TEA.

first. can i just say actually. with a twirl of my hair even. that a society of faun goths is something so extremely whimsical i’d have never ever thunk it.

ANYWAYS. these were the thoughts i was too GROGGY to convey to you THIS MORNING!! again. the back and forth compounding of guilt insecurities captivates me and i said it earlier but i really like how you set it up, it’s so TERRIBLE AND INTRICATE. i like that it feels like light is danger but dark is safety but that that was also born from more of the danger side of associations of danger/safety. and that that gets FLIPPED by meeting finlay. in a way that is so profound it must simply mean something definitive. if that makes any sense....

AND.. MAY I.. ASK QUESTIONS TOO.. WELL I SUPPOSE THIS ISN’T A DIALOGUE! I’M ASKING THEM! you don’t have to answer them of course! they can be fun thought exercises for you. even though you’ve probably thought of them already... oh whatevs, it’s just that i’m a curious little cat and one of my faaavourite things to do is ask questions. questions as bold as:

is there a particular reason why faust has always wanted children and, if there is, does it affect how he views silas and silas’ upbringing?

and the teeth thing makes me feel something actually. by the way oh my GOSH will you come up with anything for what he could wind up looking like?

ohhh, would he fearfully imagine what he could wind up looking like based on his features at present? see the shadow of a monster in the woods and fear it could be him? pre-teen silas seems like a dreeeeaamer, who’s never had a dreeeeaam. nightmares abounding and what not..

alsoooo, faust’s position? he can’t give it up? what’s that about..

& fake antler accessories.. is that a normal faun accessory or does he need to make those / get those made... would he model them after faust’s or create his own unique shape..

if he starts to PREFER darker clothes does that mean he liked lighter clothes before.. am i reading this wrong.. or was he just neutral and then a preference came about..

i don’t want to ask tooooo many of course, so i’ll leave you to it now.. not to forgot to mention, you’re having such a LOVELY CONCEPTY TIME!! i’m not snoopin for definitive answers.. i just loooove spitballin

i SHOULD mention the way you’ve described in detail his design and your process has COMPLETELY ENAMOURED ME. i’ve never been so deliberate about the designs of my characters ever and seeing such a structured thought process on character design is SOOOO COOOL!!

sorry for being annoooooying :3 forgive me also if you DID say something and for WHATEVER REASON my reading comprehension totally failed to grasp it. i guess in that case i DO fail to COMPREHEND YOUR VAST AWESOMENESS!! unfortunately this is the fate of everyone who’s had the misfortune of knowing me. :3 hehehe. i skip n’ dance away. gootbye spectralstitions on tumblr

Part 2 of my Silas design ramble post! This one gets more into the relationship Silas has with how he looks & his relationship with another important character...

That's right bitches it's CHILD SILAS!!!!!!! Oughghhu he is so little and soft I just want to pet his big ol ears and THROW HIM AROUND. These are drawn in order of toddler -> kid -> preteen -> mid-teens. I have SOOOO many different possible ideas floating around for Silas's upbringing so I'm going to TRY to be a little vague for the sake of not writing a massive amount. But I DO know that the name of Silas' caretaker is Faustus Rose, or Faust for short. So VAGUELY what I'm thinking is that Faust wants a kid so very desperately and Silas is like an answer to his prayers. But he ends up feeling very guilty about Silas for the rest of his life, thinking the fact he wanted this kid so bad makes him to blame for how hard his life ends up being. Yeah as you will soon see, Faust has all the constitution of a wet noodle and he's kinda just pathetic about everything.

The name "Silas" means "of the forest", and I think it's a name Faust would have chosen very intentionally. Like a prayer of some kind to have him turn out like any normal commonfolk kid. And although Faust is smitten with Silas and doesn't care that he's more or less raising an imp, A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE CARE. THEY CARE A LOT. The rest of his community has a very "what the actual hell is that burn it with fire now" attitude towards Silas. Well, once they find out about him, anyways. Faust is very secretive about him, but it becomes increasingly more difficult to hide an entire person as that person gets bigger and more curious about the world.

I dressed little baby in Silas in white because 1. my fauns historically lived in very deep dark woods with very little sunlight and dressing in dark colors meant camouflage from bad scary things. and 2. fauns love upholding traditions. So combining those two lore bits means fauns still wear all blacks and dark colors to this day and are basically not so subtly an entire civilization of goths. White and brighter colors in general are more associated with being easier to spot by dangerous things, so if I went with my idea of Silas being abandoned by his bio mother, it'd make sense that she'd have wrapped him in white to attract something to eat him.

In childhood, Silas' tail grows longer, but the appearance of his buttons makes Faust hopeful that Silas will at least grow antlers and that maybe he'll grow up to resemble fauns well enough to fit in with his peers mostly okay. It's a small bit of relief for him. Silas also comes into his very cheery, sweet, and curious nature, and so they have a couple of fun and hopeful years together. Silas does start to hear a few fucked up things firsthand, though it causes confusion more than anything as he's not quite self-aware enough to understand that he looks different from the people around him. And OOUUGHH I think when Silas first notices his buttons he gets SOOO excited and is always yapping about how excited he is to grow antlers just like Faust.

Eventually though Silas stars interacting with non-Faustus fauns out in the real world (He probably sneaks out to be real) and oh it does not go so well. By kids his own age, he's relentlessly and violently bullied, with a particular incident where his tail nearly gets cut off. And by adults he's treated like an actual freak and always assumed the worst of (picturing him trying to give someone a thing they dropped and they immediately assume he's a thief). It starts fucking him up real fast. Faust really pushes to have Silas stay indoors as much as possible and homeschools him as a part of this, but once the cat is let out of the bag so to speak they can't really fully go back to how things were.

Silas becomes uber-shy to the point of selective mutism for a few years and is pretty much guaranteed to be constantly scared and miserable unless he's with Faust which I'm sure does not establish any sort of alarming pattern of behavior at all. Faust's solution to Silas' problems is never to move away (he can't do that! he can't give up his position! *shoots him*) and it isn't to build up his self confidence. Instead he tries to help Silas find "solutions" to hide everything he doesn't like about himself and what he gets bullied for. That's most clearly seen in the fourth drawing, with the gloves and fake antler accessories (and his developing eye marks are covered by makeup). Oouughhh Like. Silas starting to freak out that some of his teeth are growing into fangs and becoming utterly hysterical over it, and Faust's response is "Oh no my sweet darling innocent baby angel this is so horrible and awful Oh this is so unfair. Don't worry my love I will teach you how to smile and talk without showing your teeth. Maybe we can even shave them down!" and OUUGHHHH THE ANGST OF "Is this happening to me because I'm a bad kid" and Faust getting speared through the heart LOL.

Silas also starts to prefer darker clothes and cloaks, partially because of the safety he feels in hiding and partially because it's more in line with typical faun fashion.

Once Silas starts noticing how different he looks from the people around him and how other people regard him, every single new development just completely shatters him and he considers the way he looks to be moral failing on his part. He's terrified of his own body -- Especially considering he has no reference point for what he's going to end up looking like. Eventually he just avoids looking at himself entirely. And Faust although very loving is also so soft and useless that he spends all those years kinda just reinforcing all of Silas's insecurities and feeling guilty without actually doing anything to help him.

Finlay coming into his life, not giving a second thought as to how he looks and describing to him a gigantic world out there full of people who look ten times weirder than he does, is the little thing that in the long run ends up turning his life around lol. Finlay is the first person he talks to outside of his own bubble and he quickly becomes obsessed with the notion of going on adventures around the world with people who are kind to him and maybe even finding other people who look like him. The reality of it ends up not being so black and white, but his belief that it IS is the only thing that keeps him going and gives him hope for the future. Even though it causes a lot more trouble down the line....

WELL. HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY SILAS RAMBLE. Writing this made me realize I have like ten thousand ideas for what his childhood could look like and I think I need to spend some time pouring over a google doc and dumping every last thought I have about him.

[quinnick]

Byler Fanfic Recs

This post has been a long time coming and got jumpstarted by seeing @buck-yyyy

This list will have a break down of any tw content, set up for what to expect, side ships, and anything you may find in the tags. I also am basis towards my friends so I have limited myself to one fic from any given writer but in the future I may make rec lists with specific types of fics but for now this is just random. Also want to say, this will be from a readers stand point for readers but I also write so full disclosure. You can find all my fics in my pinned post if you are interested

Last but not least (before we begin), please please leave a kudo on the fic if you enjoyed it. And if it is your favorite thing ever, leave a comment or bookmark

Okay, without further-a-do, the list

Things I Can't Say by Chiquitablanquita

Warning for underage drinking Your classic sketchbook notebook swap with love confessions in every page. This fic is unique in the way it presents itself with majority of it’s chapters being poems. This fic is Byler focused with only mentions or references to past El/Mike. this is a first kiss and pre-relationship fic. Gay pining is everywhere in this fic and miscommunication is a big thing to. But if you are a byler who hates miscommunication... idk what to tell you (/lh) this fic is completed and is 15 chapters. Only  6470 so it’s easy to get through

Hold My Breath As I Wish For Death by LadyLillyGray

Warning for discussion of and references to suicidal ideation and self harm. Also references to canon homophobia

Will finds out about the stunt Mike pulled at the quarry in s1. It’s mostly just Will and Mike talking and sharing their feelings and I do like a good old fashion discussion fic. This is pre-relationship and first kiss. Also a Byler focused fic and other characters show up for like 5 seconds. hurt/comfort leaning on past hurt and a lot of comfort. Still has angst though. it’s just a one-shot with only 1,540 making it a light read. A good bed time story honestly

But Boys Don’t Cry, Right? by heyits_L

Warning for reference to suicidal ideation (in reference to the quarry scene again), No happy ending, major character death

A poetic listing of all the terrible things that happen in Mikes life. This fic utilizes a poetic rhythm and stanza based writing to tell a snappy story. This is a heavy angst fic with no happy ending. Short description for a short fic. it’s a one-shot with only  787 words so it is a very quick read. Not a bed time story. Unless you like heavy angst before bed I guess.

lying on the floor (typing your name into the internet) by andiwriteordie

Will thinks the barista at the coffee shop is cute but also he may have a major crush on his online bestfriend. This a AU with no UD stuff and technically a coffee shop AU. not super big part of the fic. Focused mainly on Byler but with background Elumax. This is a kind of meta fic but it is so fluffy and just super cute. There isn’t a ton to say other then that I love it. It’s a one-shot with  6252 but it’s a super light breezy read. 

What do you do now, Will the Wise? by RainbowNixie

The party plays DnD and Mike (who is DM) is doing all in his power to get the paladin and cleric to flirt. This is a cute little DnD fic that’s pre-relationship and first kiss. They are just cringefail losers the whole time and it’s stellar. It’s a lot of flirting and a lot of tension building. It is a one-shot with 11534. It’s a nice bed time story if you can read fast or want a long story. 

This is just a few for right now but tell me if anyone is interested in more of these lists ! And please make your own fic rec lists !! Always support writers and share fics you like. Feel free to send me your fav fics via ask as I am always looking for suggestions. I wouldn't add onto this post with more recs but would encourage you take make your own so those fics can circle around the tag and not just your dash. Have a lovely day

[cookinguptales]

i’m so obsessed with your meta omg i feel like so many of the takes on the nandermo tag are built around the idea that Guillermo is not capable of being mean/evil or acting selfishly or when he does it’s yay girlboss and it just reads as a bunch of people infantilizing this grown ass man. and they end up completely demonizing Nandor by proxy. sometimes they can admit Guillermo has little value for human life but don’t acknowledge his ability of being a manipulative asshat to the other main characters?? i know he’s been a victim of them many times but limiting him to just that is so boring. and considering i see similar things in other fandoms where there are ships in which one is minority and the other isn’t (which isn’t precisely the case with nandermo but still) i’m guessing Guillermo being fat and latino has something to do with it. is like people are scared of pointing out his flaws as a person and being accused of racism/fatphobia. or maybe they put him in this “can do no wrong” pedestal to avoid properly engaging with him idk. that’s not the point though. the point is i love your takes on Guillermo and i love how he can be so fucking cool while being an utter piece of shit. he really became my #1 blorbo after discovering your blog

idk about those theories, but I will say that both Nandor and Guillermo absolutely should be demonized! and loved thoroughly despite that!

Honestly, I've been stupid into Guillermo since the show started, and I do remember what some of the rumblings were like before nandermo was a popular ship. Even back then, people had a way of softening Guillermo's faults. And I mean -- genuinely, I think it's just Harvey? He's so cute and endearing that you just straight-up forget what a monstrous little shit Guillermo can be.

I get it! I do! Those doe eyes are a lot to look past! But my favorite thing about Guillermo is how feral and awful he can be with the sweetest of smiles on his face. He absolutely is cute and sweet and adorable! And probably also the most selfish and dangerous person in the entire cast. He wants to be the straight man (so to speak) of the cast so badly, but he's just as unhinged if not more than the vampires are.

The thing is... like, he's a terrible person, but they all are! I'm a little leery of arguments that he's uniquely awful or that he's uniquely good. Guillermo is a lot of things all rolled up into one and I love that for him. I don't see any point in flattening his character into just good or just bad when it's all of his complicated curves and angles that make me love him so dearly.

Sometimes he'll give up everything he ever wanted to make one of the vampires happy. Sometimes he'll emotionally manipulate them into giving him what he wants. Sometimes he has low self-esteem and has a hard time seeing the good in his mortal self, and sometimes he has a hilarious ego on him. Sometimes he'll be sweet and thoughtful and kind, and other times he'll be so casually cruel that it's kind of stunning. He'll save a fellow familiar's life, then make fun of a human after luring them in with promises of friendship only to feed them to his real friends.

He's a mess of self-centered, self-deprecating, self-aggrandizing, self-effacing, selfless, selfish insanity and I love that for him!! It's not that he doesn't have an internal logic to his actions; he very much does. He's just also good at self-justification, perhaps more than any of the rest of them, so he can make all of these qualities rest uneasily against each other.

Man, I love Guillermo. He's such a messy little shit and such an utter sweetheart. I want to write a million words about him.

[drdemonprince]

How do you make a decision? How does one know if they are making or being co-dependent or something else? I was diagnosed with ocd awhile ago and although my therapist was legit great, I really liked her, it really still seems like I’m flailing around sometimes. I have no idea how to make a decision on my own. I’ve been working on unmasking for awhile but I can’t tell if I’m falling back into bad habits when coming to my partner about wanting to move out of this city (I hate it here, never really have it chance but I miss home, my partner would not move though so we would probably break up). They aren’t really unsupportive though, they get it, they also just don’t want me to leave, I guess.

I just miss home so bad. I don’t know if going back would really fix anything though, I’ve had an aimless yearning for so long and I don’t really want to get trapped back in the weird/bad relationship I have with my mom but I miss my siblings so bad. It probably wouldn’t be so bad if they could keep up relationships long-distance but they are terrible at it. Trying to maintain those from my side is exhausting. I would at least see them around if I were home.

this is 90% rambling, my real question is: how do you know when you are making a decision that aligns with your values vs when you are doing things to placate other people? And how do you know when you are making mistakes?? i’m sure this is simple to answer

There is no "mistake" in the sense that there is no objective right or wrong answer to any of this, and no one lives your life but you.

You're in a tricky spot here with a lot of imperfect outcomes and imperfect people that you want to be near but who don't always show up for you. It sounds like none of them are great at being supportive to you, to be honest. It's very understandable especially with younger siblings, but I wouldn't count on any of these existing relationships to be enough to feel good for you from the sound of it. No wonder you feel torn and dissatisfied with your options. You need more than what the people in your life have to give.

I wonder if inventing and slowly creating new options than these might be better. Meeting new people, trying new things, building new networks of support. Maybe you need to go back to family to have the landing base necessary to do that kind of really tough tiring (but ultimately worthwhile) stuff. Maybe where you currently live is better for branching out and you'll find new people to befriend and to date there that can be present for you more. I don't know.

And there is no objective answer for what is best for you. There are some lessons I think we can learn only for ourselves, from our own experience and experimentation, because every one of us and our circumstances are so unique. You know this shit is not working, and that you have a fallback option that also has clear drawbacks of its own, and that's actually a very solid start. Keep drawing out that decision tree and trying things. Some will suck. That is data.

I don't think worrying about which decision is like the most values pure or anti codependent or whatever is worth stressing, the universe will not be grading you on that. What helps you feel excited and cared for right now? What's missing? What times and situations have made you feel okay with yourself, and what made those moments special? Follow those things. It'll be a mess figuring it out. That's a life.

[pridepages]

Crude Matter: Nona the Ninth

I just finished Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. I have thoughts...

Here there be spoilers!

In the world of the Locked Tomb, the only thing you can safely expect is the unexpected. Which is why I never bothered to theorize too much about who Nona might be: better to just let the experience wash over me and enjoy the ride than to try to predict the unpredictable.

True to form: I never would have guessed, but it makes perfect sense.

Trying to sum up the plot would be yet another losing battle, so let’s cut to the chase: “Nona” is Alecto. And Alecto is the embodiment of Earth-that-was’s life force.

Here’s why that’s fabulous:

1. Nonalecto is a spirit of true love and treacherous power. 

2. Nonalecto finds and appreciates beauty in all living forms.

Much like the Earth itself, Nona seeks to embrace those around her exactly as they are. Whether in Camilla’s severity or Pyrrah’s roughness, Nona is able to celebrate the people she loves. Her descriptions of them dance on the line between romantic and platonic, and they are always highly physical. For example, her description of Coronabeth “Crown” Tridentarius: “She has lovely hair. And when she hugs you she smells like cinnamon, and her breasts feel nice, and she’s so big and pretty.” 

And yet, despite being a very physical being, Nona is untroubled by the fact that her loved ones inhabit bodies that don’t match their gender identities.

Pyrrah Dve, readers of Harrow the Ninth will recall, lost her original body when she died to become the Lyctor Gideon’s cavalier. When Gideon’s soul died while out of body, Pyrrha emerged in tact to take up residence in the shell he left behind. Neither Pyrrha nor Nona exhibit any distress, discomfort, or strangeness at the fact that Pyrrah is a woman by gender occupying a body that was assigned male at birth: “Nona always felt soft and tender when she saw Pyrrha with her shirt off, and liked to rest her head on her back, between her prominent shoulder blades.”

Similarly, fans rejoice at the return of Palamedes Sextus. However, his return is conditional upon Palamedes and Camilla treating her body like a timeshare: when one is in residence, the other must disappear. Nevertheless, Nona never has difficulty distinguishing who is ‘at home’ in any given moment. Nona distinguishes them both in how they carry themselves, how they speak, and how they act. Each is a unique, beloved individual to Nona--both a part of and apart from the physical form they bear.

Most critics and readers will celebrate Nona the Ninth for its critique on late stage--read death throes--capitalism as well as its biblical commentary. But what may consequently pass under the radar is Nona’s unblinking, unapologetic position that gender identity is a matter completely separate from physical form. It’s a fact that’s so obvious to all parties that it doesn’t even merit comment.

Like the Earth itself, bodies are crude matter. They are the house for the entity we call the Soul that is the amalgamation of forces that create our very Self. Maybe for some of us the house is a part of that Self. But it doesn’t have to be. What is most important about us, Nona urges, is our ability to see into the Self of another person and love that person wholly. Which isn’t to say that’s easy. So many of our identities are inextricably tied to our relationships with bodies. To be loved only for the Self--the Soul--within? A rare, surprising, and beautiful miracle.

But love transcending that relationship is as miraculous as it is completely and joyfully queer. As Palamedes observes “Being unexpectedly loved is so wonderful or terrible, isn’t it?” 

To which Nona rightly replies, “Wonderful, I think.”

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Sorry but what exactly is up with the bad batch arc? I've heard people talk about the issues with echo's white skin but I haven't heard that many bad things about the arc itself? (ik you said you don't want to be negative on your blog so I would absolutely understand if you didn't answer this ask)

Oooooooooooh boy. Well I just had a long, long, LONG rant about it with someone, but I guess I’ve got an excuse to put all of my points onto a post and talk about it publicly now that I got an ask x) I’ll keep it under the cut so I don’t throw my salt in people’s face. I really don’t want to upset people who love that arc - it has redeeming qualities, but overall it pisses me off so much for so many reasons. So here:

The first issue is obviously two members of the Bad Batch (minus Echo) being being just about the furthest thing from maori no matter how much you're willing to stretch it. 

Like... yeah, nah. I wouldn’t even accept Crosshair and Tech (grey haired guy and goggles guy) as Jango’s natural biological sons, nevermind as his clones. 

The problem is that their different appearances are justified by them being described simply as clones with desirable mutations (i.e superpowers). But why the hell did the creators have to change their appearances for that to be a thing? How does that correlate? Sure, the concept of clones with different faces is interesting, except... no, no it’s not, and I’m gonna rant about it in a few secs. But basically it's like they thought giving them different faces would be a good substitute for having different personalities (another thing I’ll come back to). If they really wanted to have buff clones with super eyesight or whatnot they could have just done that, without making them lose what little melanin the lighting of the show had allowed the other Clones to keep. 

But the gigantic problem is... showing that the "regular" clones have VERY distinct identities despite their identical faces has been one of the themes of the show from episode 1. Literally, the first episode of TCW has Yoda taking time out of a mission with galactic stakes to tell the three clones he’s with (who tell him they’re all the same because they have the same faces) that they’re wrong, and that they’re very different in the Force, that their appearance doesn’t matter, that they’re all equally unique and important, and he lists all of their individual skills, strengths and weaknesses. 

And it’s not just me being bothered by that, here’s a post by @cacodaemonia​ saying the same thing. 

Introducing the Bad Batch as "unique" clones who are "different" and "not like their brothers" because they have different faces and skills completely breaks that theme of the show!! Because the entire point of the Clones in TCW is that their faces don't matter, they ARE unique! 

(Plus the Bad Batch’s character designs are so cliche and uninspired it’s just laughable to try and justify bleaching their freaking skin for the sake of visual diversity. 

This took like 10 seconds. I found the first guy by literally googling “soldier movies,” and the other two are Team Fortress characters that look a LOT like Wrecker and Crosshair. One is “Heavy” and one is “Sniper” lmao.

And behold:

The above picture is a Team Fortress reference that I found just by looking up “bad batch clone wars,” so I’m not the only person who sees it.) 

And the batchers don't even have personalities to justify calling them unique! They have no character traits beyond the most cliché american soldier tropes ever. We have a token loner sniper, a token "smart tech guy" who knows everything from xenoanthropology to biology to Separatist computers to sound waves to encryption, a token Badass Brooding Leader and a token “dumb muscle guy.”

I dare anyone to find more about their personalities than this: - Crosshair is the perpetually grumpy sniper who looks down on "regs,” - Wrecker likes to blow up stuff and doesn't like heights, - Hunter is the leader and is friends with Cody, - Tech is smart doesn't trust Echo. 

That’s it, that’s literally it. Four episodes about them and that's all we get. These character tropes are literally the least inventive ever. FFS, Hunter even has a freaking KNIFE! Not a vibroblade, mind you, like in kriffing Star Wars. A knife. Against metal droids. Why. They couldn’t make this more of an american-war-movies cliché fest if they tried. (And sure, he can feel electromagnetic waves so maybe it does make sense for him not to carry a vibroblade and maybe this is nitpicking, but he looks like a ripoff of a Predator character and it pisses me off).

Another thing is that when you introduce characters you have to make them likable - and them despising the normal Clones is a terrible way to do that! And they don't even grow from that because at the end of the 4 episodes arc they just see Rex as not bad "for a reg" and they see Echo as no longer a reg, and both of these things are infuriating! 

The worst thing imo is that Echo then becomes part of them (and irreparably loses his melanin in the process, uuuuuuuuugh) when there is nothing to justify this. 

The dialogue goes like this: 

ECHO: You coming? TECH: Not really our thing. CROSSHAIR: Accolades. WRECKER: Yeah, we're just in it for the thrill. Yo! HUNTER: You sure it's your thing? ECHO: What do you mean? HUNTER: Your path is different. Like ours. If you ever feel like you don't fit in with them, well, find us. (they leave) REX: Those are some of the finest troopers I've ever fought alongside. Echo. You and I go way back. If that's where you feel your place is, then that's where you belong.

Echo doesn't feel like he belongs anymore, okay, but why would he feel like he belongs with the assholes who up to the last five minutes of the mission thought he was probably a traitor, and also verbally expressed that he was not worth saving?? In all of the arc, Echo himself never voices that he feels he’s not ‘like the other Clones’ anymore and that he feels it’s a problem. His relationship with Rex immediately picks up where they left things off - the first thing he does upon being lucid again for the first in over a year is cracking a joke for Rex’s benefit. 

Why would Echo feel like he doesn’t belong in the 501st anymore, when we don't even see him interacting with anyone from his past life except for Rex and Anakin (who are both extremely very supportive of him)?? If there had been one scene of a “regular” Clone (ugh) looking at him with horror and disgust or something, or just Kix and Jesse cracking jokes with Echo awkwardly standing by the side not getting it, I could forgive the show trying to make it feel like he has an identity crisis, but this was so shallow!

The only thing that makes Echo and the Bad Batch’s experiences similar is that they *look* different. It’s so against the themes of the Clones I’m seething just from thinking about it. And what the hell? Echo ALREADY didn’t fit in. That was the WHOLE POINT of Domino Squad. They didn’t fit in because they thought they were better than anyone else because they had trouble getting along with their brothers, so obviously it had to be their brothers’ fault (ahem, Bad Batch?). And you know what happened? Domino Squad OVERCAME that. And Echo and Fives still didn’t “fit in” because their personalities were unique and creative, and they became ARC Troopers because Cody, Rex and the Jedi VALUED THEM FOR PRECISELY THAT. Echo having new and unique skills and a modified appearance is the most bs justification for him feeling like he doesn’t belong!! 

And that brings me to my biggest issue: Rex telling Echo the bad batch are some of the best troopers he's ever met. I'm sorry, based on WHAT? What Rex values above everything is loyalty and brotherhood, and the Bad Batch DOESN'T DISPLAY ANY OF THAT. We never see them even expressing concern for each other! Wrecker treats saving Cody’s life like a trivial issue, because it’s just ‘sO eAsY’ for him, and beyond that we never see them supporting each other or genuinely expressing affection for each other beyond boasting about each other’s skills... 

Sure they can destroy a lot of droids, but they're dismissive of Rex's brothers, and the entire Umbara arc and this arc showed what he thought of that. They keep saying things like "not bad for a reg,” don't show any trust in Rex's skills or experience (even though they can't have been fighting in the war for more than a year and a half when he’s been there from the beginning, and he outranks all of them), they are essentially guerilla fighters which has only minimal value in a galactic war, and they never grow beyond their views of what regs are, and can and can’t do. 

None of that should make them good troopers in Rex's book. Going back to Echo not fitting in, remember who taught the Domino Squad the importance of seeing all of your brothers as important and equally valuable? Shaak Ti, true, but more importantly? 99! The guy the Bad Batch are named after. He did have value and was important and was no less of a trooper than his brothers, even though his mutations made him LESS powerful, not more. (And btw, just from a writing standpoint, the batchers don’t have any weaknesses, which is shit.) Cody and Rex mourned 99 as a true soldier even though it wasn’t his sacrifice that brought them victory (which would have implied that he had value as a soldier and a brother because he saved them, as opposed to him having that value intrinsically), because that’s what a fine trooper is to them. A BROTHER first a foremost, someone altruistic, brave and loyal. The Bad Batch distort the meaning of 99's character with their behavior. They’re not altruistic, their bravery is mitigated by the fact that they’re freaking invincible, so of course they take risks (again, see Wrecker saving Cody without a care because it’s easy to him, as opposed to Rex being ready to run into a burning ship about to explode because his brother is in there, and having to be physically dragged away). The Bad Batch denigrate their brothers for being less skilled, thinking their own abilities make them unique somehow, when 99 could barely fight and was still the one who taught Hevy about being a good soldier. 

And again the batchers don't grow from that. Which is all the more frustrating because the original ending didn’t have Echo joining them, from what I remember of the unfinished episodes, and the arc actually ended with them receiving their medals in front of regular troopers who cheer for them, as opposed to them smugly ostracizing themselves and dismissing the ceremony as trivial and meaningless. (original ending vs s7 ending: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab1eCfzKamw) 

It’s so annoying. Do you know what characters never had an entire arc dedicated to them and still have far more personality and more interesting designs and more symbolic weight?? 

Jesse, for starters. Kix. Dogma. Cut. Slick. Keeli. Ponds. Rys, Jek and Thire. Commander Doom. Commander Fox. Wolffe. Hevy. Hardcase. 

Cody was a more interesting character just in his RotS appearances. 

Waxer and Boil had one episode about them and then only two cameos plus Waxer’s death, and they’re still some of the most memorable, beloved Clones of the whole show. And Boil was grouchy and prejudiced like Crosshair, but he has so much growth that we could make a whole thread about it. 

I'd say the last problem with the Bad Batch is that it has cash grabbing money hungry vibes. Different faces are more marketable, cliché personalities are more toy-friendly, and it's basically a big ad for the Bad Batch series. And they throw Echo in the Batch at the end for bs reasons (again, it wasn’t in the original ep from what I remember) and they tease Cody in the show to make sure fans will still watch even if they notice the lack of soul. And less melanin sells more at Disney apparently. 

So that’s my whole pissed rant.