#personal development better yourself
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the thing about shima is that to become the "better person" he wants to be he'll have to learn to be kind to himself first!!!!!! he's not the sick and twisted guy he believes he is!!!!!!!! it's exactly as mitsumi said it, he's not aware of how his kindness saves people!!!!! to me the idea of "catching up" to mitsumi isn't that he has to become as good of a person as mitsumi is but that he has to have enough confidence in himself to allow himself to be by her side. not becoming a good person, believing in yourself enough to realize that you're trying your best at being good already. but we're getting there i think
#it's not like i think that he can't be with her until he has developed a confidence of steel or smth. not that “if you can't love yourself#how are you gonna love somebody else“ shit#i guess i see it at like. when you encounter someone in life that just. genuinely makes you want to be a better person#like a decision made out of love and not out of self deprecation#at least i want it to be like that!!!!!!!#ANYWAY I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING FUCKKKKKKKKK I HATE THIS HIGH SCHOOL BOY I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIM#stl spoilers
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Queer ships are universally different and not comparable to straight ships in ship wars because without the ship/feelings/reciprocation all characters involved would still be queer because their queerness exists and is represented in them independently from specific romantic feelings and that queerness would still deeply affect their characters' relationships to themselves.
Queer ships are not the same as straight ships because queer ships are inherently indicative of something deeper in the individual that is affects their character arc to the core and straight ships are love stories.
Basically, the queer experience and the straight experience are not the same. I feel like people should know this, and I feel like people do, so I assume they just don't realize that that's what the conversation is. But I'm not fighting for the ship. I'm fighting for the characters to be queer. Your characters were already straight. You get what I'm begging for regardless. You think we'd have equal things - love stories - taken away but you're wrong.
If two people don't get together I don't have a love story to live vicariously through anymore. If two people aren't queer I'm not in the story anymore.
Hope this helps.
#lgbtq#stranger things#byler#buddie#sorry you like milkvan better than j@ncy that is upsetting if you dont get your fave#genuinely#but you can still have CHARACTERS you are represented by#you got a love story taken#i got a person#diff.er.ent.#i'm not fighting for mike to reciprocate will's feelings on will's behalf common misconception#i'm fighting for mike to be both queer and happy#and that in his own right requires will#if it didn't that'd be cool too#but 1. queer 2. believably happy#i never said a ship name even once there#but actually it's one of the reasons i find queer stories more interesting#because regardless theres something to rewatch for#oh mike didn't develop feelings for will until season 5 episode 5? that's fine! he was still queer the day troy screamed about fairies in hi#s face though. he was still queer when he described attraction in non gendered language. he was still queer when will said it's scary to tel#l people deep truths about yourself they might reject.#no matter what there is a retroactive recontextualizing fact about them that influences everything they do.#rewatch power!!!
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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Saw a post where people in the notes were arguing that behavior is only manipulative if it's intentional and planned, and tried to "prove" it with, like, Baby's First Example Of Manipulation ("if you don't do xyz, I'm gonna do abc.") and it's been ten minutes and it's still giving me hives. They were literally like "do we need to take 'manipulative' away and put it on the shelf" because they don't understand what manipulative behavior is.
Look if you (generic) think manipulative behavior has to be conscious, intentional, and planned, you are absolutely clueless and ripe for being manipulated. People can be i.n.s.a.n.e.l.y. manipulative without realizing they're doing it, and not recognizing that is, frankly, dangerous.
Signed, someone who has been repeatedly abused by people who certainly thought they weren't manipulative BUT ABSOLUTELY WERE.
#unforth rambles#babys first idea of manipulation is why i didnt recognize my ex was a manipulative jackass and stayed with him for 5 years#seriously its dangerous#you dont help yourself or the manipulative person by excusing it#people develop manipulative behaviors subconsciously to get through fucked up shit as children#and then unconsciously deploy those behaviors on everyone around them#and it will fuck up their lives trust me i know because I DID THAT YOO#the only way to do better is to face it snd get help and grow#excusing it does none of those things#im apparently tired enough that my Someone Is Wrong On The Internet bug wont let this go siiiiigh
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well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.
also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever
(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )
#so. i get why people are against children transitioning i really do. and i have my own nuanced complicated feelings about it#but honestly. im beginning to believe id be more well-adjusted by now even if just a bit if i had started larping as male by 15.#would it fix all of my problems? no. but it would make a lot of things in my life much smoother and easier.#but i was sooo deep into raddie/gc shit that i had this fucking. complex about not wanting to troon because its ~cheating~#and 'omg all the butches are leaving!!1 butch flight i cant be one of them!!!1'#'i MUST be a good example for all the young girls!!!1' a weird sort of almost martyr-like complex if you will.#but as i get older im like... honestly man fuuuuccckkkkk this.#barely anybody expects straight or even bi women to abstain from dating men forever For the Good of Womankind#its not seen as Expected but rather Exceptional and Wow Amazing if you do.#and anyone who Expects it is seen as a ~crazy extremist~#meanwhile lesbians and especially HSTS are almost fucking Expected to sacrifice themselves for the ~greater good~#and ngl other lesbiams perpetuate this shit too.#oh you CANT transition even if you feel it'll make your life easier because because because#[arguments that would really only apply to OSA females transitioning]#[strawman] [misinterpreted stats] [unverified reddit posts]#and if all else fails 'think of how the very act of doing so will HURT ALL OF WOMANKIND'#no fucking wonder dysphoric lesbians develop an fucking insane martyr complex and start to treat hrt/transitioning like its fucking crack#'ill give into the temptation if i see a happy trans person ohh nooo so nobody should be allowed to troon'#like thats not fucking normal! you realize thats NOT FUCKING NORMAL right?#youre acting like a deranged christian who is so afraid of sinning by wrongthink#and disclaimer no. i dont inherently hate being female or a lesbian but with the way i am physically and mentally#i would have/have had a Much easier time integrating into society as a ~man~. just because of how i am physically and mentally.#now i wont say internalized homophobia/etc. NEVER has anything to do with transition or etc. but im gonna be real#for HSTS (which are extremely rare in the first place) thats often only a very small part of it at most.#its often more about making our lives easier and integrating better without having to completely remold our entire personalities.#thats the reality.#would we not transition if society have patriarchy/gender roles/sexism? perhaps. i wont deny that possibility.#the fact of the matter is however#that it wont be happening any time soon. so we just want our lives to be easier.#'oh but youre lying to yourself' not necessarily. i dont have a ~gender identity~ and im well aware of myself and my situation.
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Where can a humble girl buy some background music
Not even full on orchestral I just need some yume nikki vibes
#it is said songs made by the same developer are better BUT#consider this#OFF by Mortis Ghost#you can have banger tunes without making the music yourself!!!!#just need. uh. a talented close person who does it for you#preferaby fellow latinamerican bc the conversion rate to USD or Euros will empty my poor lil wallet#i will still try to do it myself but i suck at any music making program that isnt Musescore#im but a humble bad violin player i need to see. the notes
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Do you have any recommendations for feminist theory books?
genuinely I'm not as well versed on it as I'd like to be! I mostly read, like "contemporary mainstream" books rather than academic lit — currently I am reading delusions of gender by Cordelia Fine which is very good but it's taking me literal months because I need to stop in between chapters and yell a bit. as one does.
anyway. speaking of more academic-ys stuff: this is a cool reading list I'm working my way through. my all-time favourite work of feminist theory I've read was sister outsider by audre lorde, which should also be on that list iirc, or at least some essays from it.
also copypasting the OP note from that reading list because I think this is a very important context note that people often forget when it comes to academic & historical feminist writing lmao. especially on this website
I urge you to be highly critical of all of these authors. Take notes. Write a rebuttal and reason why you are opposed to or concerned about the aspects of some theories. Compare one author to another. Write down key notes that you find profound or impactful on how you think about something, and reason why. Analyze key points and think about how they can be expanded on and applied to current events. Write down a list of further questions to research later.
#i think. i feel very privileged reading feminist works#it's a very good feelings reading older struggles that are very alien to me these days and thinking “holy shit we've come very far”#bc it's an issue EYE never personally have even considered#It feels a bit depressing reading older writings and finding that some things are unfortunately still the same#It feels very flattering (to me personally) reading some writing and thinking “what the fuck are you thinking”#in a way where I know I disagree with the author and could rebut it very effectively because I've put my thoughts into words well enough#genuinely I think reading theory works you agree with only partly or fully disagree with is a VERY good way to develop critical thinking#and to give yourself a better idea of what your priorities re: feminism look like#ask#book talk
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So what advice WOULD you have for people who might suspect themselves to be autistic, especially those who can’t get an official diagnosis? /gen
Yeah sure, under the cut!
My philosophy focuses around problem solving and improving circumstances rather than focusing on getting or following the path of a diagnosis. So the first thing I recommend if you feel you're struggling, is start actually writing down things you struggle with. Big or small. And then for each, start making a plan on how to mitigate or remove your struggles. Obviously, easier said than done. Lord knows it takes a lot of time, effort, and discipline. However, the biggest thing, is keeping a mindset where it is: you have struggles with x. But this is not a permanent thing, this is something you can work on. You may not be as naturally adept as some people, but this is a challenge and you can face it and improve how it affects your life. This is something that has to be done whether you follow the whole diagnosis route or not, because it's the requirement for living, lol.
I will give an example from my own life.
Firstly, I have always very much struggled with food intake. Eating is something of a chore to me, a lot of food is repulsive (less so than before, thankfully), cooking is a lot of energy. Eating healthily is even more of an issue since you have to make and eat so much more of less calorically dense foods. Over the past 4 years, I've improved a lot though, though it has been trying at times. First, I catelogued my issues. My biggest issue is due to eating little, I wasn't getting enough calories, and I was always tired and weak. I was often sleepy, struggled to concentrate. I was on the verge of being underweight but considered not — yet, I had pretty life impacting symptoms. It was actually thought that I had more severe problems due to all the deficiencies I had. So, the first thing I did was seek out high calorie food that I could use to at least increase my energy. Preferably avoiding outright junk food, but basically, I started routinely trying to eat a meal with lots of carbs once a day. As my energy slowly increased, I started trying to fit in healthier snacks and whatnot, but ultimately (even now!) my goal, 100% is just making sure I get enough calories that I'm not tired tomorrow. It was difficult, especially since my appetite was so surpressed hunger didn't really come back until like 6 months in. Nowadays I do get hundry but still find it unfortunately easy to ignore, though I'm a lot better with it. Anyway, focused on high calorie foods. Once I had more energy, I worked on *cooking* high calorie meals. Literally, just like pasta. Noodles with poor man's pesto (garlic, basil, parm, salt). Ramen. I still eat that like once a day lol. My new challenge is shifting that a bit but it's a work in progress. Anyway, while I regressed some sometimes, I started regularly cooking a very very low effort meal once a day, and eating smth that made sure I had energy for the next day. A lot of my symptoms improved even though my diet was still essentially shit. Then, I also worked on taking a multivitamin. I am very bad at sticking with medications so frankly this is still on and off for me, but I'm planning on incorporating it into my morning routine before work and that should help. I did do this consistently for a while, and this helped. All this happened over 2-3 years. If I ever ate out, I made sure to get something with meat and vegetables since I knew I wasn't getting it at home. Now, my most recent success is I've started managing to meal prep and bring lucnhes to work. I do really simple air fryer chicken and rice/couscous, or fried rice (good for veggies). So far I've managed to consistently bring food, which is a goal I've never dreamed I'd be able to manage on my own! Super awesome. I also found 'drinking' my meals is easier sometimes, so I found smoothie mixes I can tolerate that have more nutritious things. And I do that sometimes. Anyway, I'm finally at the point where the struggle is less eating, and now more expanding my consistent cooking and making myself a better diet. But that is SIGNIFICANT success compared to where I was originally, when I wasn't cooking and I was barely eating and it was physically impacting my life in a way that made it much harder to claw my way out of. But, despite it taking a long time and having a lot of backsliding, I was able to significantly improve.
This sort of thing can be applied to mental health stuff, social stuff, etc. Basically, identify your issues, identify solutions — long term goals but also specific short term steps that will get you there. And then keep trying. Even when you fail. Even when you give up for a long while. Even when it feels like it isn't working. Keep trying. And eventually you'll have made progress even without realizing.
I also applied something similar to trying to work out how to socialize well. Which may be applicable for you. The best thing you can do in my experience is watch people, be confident, and try to pay attention and learn how to interpret people's comfort levels and what's common casual topics of conversation and what's not. Yes, it's hard, and it's usually not intuitive, and that's a big part of why you may feel you are autistic, because this seems entirely foreign in a way it's not to other people. But it is a skill you can learn. At this point, I can hold a conversation with my coworkers, even if we don't have much in common or if we have differing opinions or whatnot, I can have a good lunch conversation and come off as 'intense, but nice'. Which is a good thing to aim for. Like with the eating, I recommend a lot of reflection and efforts to catelogue and identify areas of struggle and how you can observe and practice improvement. The more you do all this, the more it will genuinely become less manual and more automatic, like driving a car. There's a lot you think about when you first start driving, that you aren't consciously thinking about 5 years later. It's the same way. And also, try not to take your fuckups too personally. And some people just won't like you. It is what it is. Just keep chugging.
I know, it is easy to sit here and be like "why should I have to figure out and stick with common topics of conversation? I'm not into those :/" Lord knows, I always felt dumb and out of place whenever people bonded over sports. But what these common topics are, their purpose is essentially like a little olive branch, a thing the person is offering to try and make it easier to chat by commiserating over a common thing, whether it's a issue, a thing yall like, or something else. I'll probably never manage to follow sports teams and I don't want to, but I will nod along as some guys talk and commiserate when they express feelings about wins or losses. The point is to bond. That's why the weather is such a huge topic. Small talk serves a huge purpose! The more you become familiar with how to casually hold a conversation with someone you don't know well over one of these topics, the easier it'll be, and most social stuff develops from that sort of thing. As you bond over the olive branch topics, you can flesh out anecdotes and experiences and personal stuff as you become better friends with people, rather than throwing it all at someone at once and hoping they catch and like you. It lets you sort of get a feel for people, and you can keep it at the small talk level instead of just not talking at all or immediately proceeding to best friends mode. It's a comfortable middle.
I also really recommend, for anyone, engaging and developing a fondness for the world around you, and practicing having appreciation for everything. It has helped my mindset and capability to keep trying. I really recommend learning to identify some category of things in nature in your area, because you'll feel more grounded in the world, you'll see more detail, and the world will feel less threatening.
#asks#might be a bit toughlove but its heartfelt... mostly it's just. treat your issues as solveable and work on it. and youll often find they ge#a lot better. certainly not always fixed. though sometimes ! but. a lot better to live with#youll feel more capable and ready to face the world and develop and stuff :)#regardless of if u get a diagnosis youd have to do this sort of thing anyway bec even w a diagnosis u must still grow and adapt as a person#in society. how would a diagnosis help? what accomadations are you seeking? how will they help you? what can you change right now? what is#stuff youre just gonna have to brute force?#not to say diagnoses cant make thing easier but they are no silver bullet and can often bring new horrors to your life#idk. i think. always be wary and recognize that a diagnosis changes very little positively outside of accomadations you may be able to r#eceieve anyway. at least in uni. oh and dont forget trade schools exist. and many other options than dying artist and doctor and sales#if youre feeling overwhelmed by the future break it down and seek help#let yourself seek help to improve but dont let yourself seek help in the form of stagnation. stagnation is the devil
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this will not be articulated well but i dont think the 'im not like other girls' phenomenon can always simply be attributed to internalised misogyny like for me i was different to other girls and they let me know that (albeit quite subtly). idk i think simply attributing it to internalised misogyny overlooks the fact that some girls are excluded by girls their age because they are different in some way. they are made to feel like they are not like other girls, its not just some imagined feeling.
#like.. there are only so many times you can be excluded from things before you start trying to develop a method of protecting yourself#and for me that was being like 'im not like other girls so i dont care that im not invited to their parties im better than them'#like yes part of that is internalised misogyny but also i am different to other girls because im gay probably and probably autistic#making this unrbable before someone gets angry at me for my personal experiences not being universal
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put yourself first 💎
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I wonder if being a stage manager has rewritten my brain a lil bit
#I'm in 'over analyze yourself' mode and I wonder#i dont really have the right words to describe it either but it's like... big picture combined with watching shows develop#and seeing how the characters develop from that outside perspective - but having to watch the throughline for cohesion#like me looking at my department changes like oh of course you're (a collective you) like this#I see the throughlines that led to that point#but with me i dont always know how to... change me#I'm just a character with given lines#how do I break the narrative I've been written#how do i become a better person#at least i see the lines i suppose#that's some improvement
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Personal Development: Enhancing Your Relationship By Being a Better Partner
Developing oneself personally can greatly contribute to being the best partner in a relationship. To achieve this, it's essential to focus on various aspects of personal growth that can positively impact your role as a loving and supportive partner. Here are six key areas that, when honed, can help you become a better partner for your significant other:
1. Effective Communication:
Effective communication serves as the cornerstone of a healthy and thriving relationship. Improving your communication skills involves not only expressing yourself clearly but also actively listening to your partner. Additionally, it entails understanding non-verbal cues and learning to communicate in a manner that fosters openness and understanding between you and your partner.
2. Emotional Intelligence:
Enhancing emotional intelligence allows you to better understand and manage your own emotions while also being attuned to your partner's feelings. Developing this skill involves recognizing and articulating emotions, empathizing with your partner's experiences, and navigating conflicts with emotional maturity and empathy.
3. Self-awareness:
Self-awareness is the foundation upon which personal growth is built. It involves understanding your own strengths, weaknesses, and thought patterns. Through self-reflection, you can gain a deeper understanding of how your actions and emotions impact your relationship, enabling you to make conscious decisions that positively influence your partnership.
4. Empathy and Compassion:
Cultivating empathy and compassion enables you to connect with your partner on a deeper level. By actively demonstrating empathy and showing genuine concern for your partner's well-being, you create an environment characterized by mutual support and understanding, ultimately strengthening the emotional bond in your relationship.
5. Continuous Personal Growth:
Committing to ongoing personal growth and development not only benefits you as an individual but also enriches your relationship. Whether it involves pursuing personal interests, setting and achieving goals, or overcoming challenges, continuous personal growth demonstrates your commitment to self-improvement, inspiring and motivating your partner to do the same.
6. Patience and Understanding:
In any relationship, patience and understanding play a vital role in sustaining harmony and mutual respect. Practicing patience allows for the natural progression of the relationship, while understanding fosters empathy and acceptance. These qualities create a nurturing environment where both you and your partner feel valued and supported.
In summary, focusing on personal development plays a pivotal role in becoming the best partner you can be for your loved one. By prioritizing enhanced communication, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, empathy, personal growth, patience, and understanding, you can strengthen the foundation of your relationship and nurture a deeper, more meaningful connection with your partner. Remember that personal growth is an ongoing journey—one that, when pursued, enhances not only your own life but also the bond you share with your significant other.
Thank you for reading!! Get more out your relationships with these other blog posts on my profile here. Enjoy your day!
#personal development#black love#love blog#better relationship#building relationships#relationships#companionship#better yourself#better partner
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#Michael acknowledge he has trauma challenge(impossible!!!)#epic deeming gob a failure and never showing him love moment#Gob? He just isn’t capable of being a good person#Gob: *is shown he’s loved for the first time in his life and he becomes a better person*#Who would’ve thought#but yah#Michael#I’m begging of you#realize how bad your parents actually are#stop coming back#you gotta stop pretending you’re just okay#you are not#stop disregarding yourself for the sake of others#it does neither you or your family any good#all the bluths need therapy#the bluths#gob bluth#michael bluth#arrested development meme#arrested development#tw verbal abuse
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if you’re newly getting into any sort of art: learn everything in the worst way possible im so serious. i think tbis is so important creatively
you have to do things wrong and figure things out that way. do not get too focused on doing everything “correctly” just learn the absolute basics (or don’t even do that if you don’t need to) and take that and run with it. firm believer in this method of creating
#if you’re trying to do everything right all the time developing a personal style is going to be hell#this goes for any kind of art btw. music traditional crochet/sewing idc#experiment !!! do things wrong !!! you will learn better that way and also not drive yourself insane !!!
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I know I’m beating a dead horse but fics that recognize that jyl is chronically ill or disabled and take that into account and treat her with respect/as a person are always so much better than the shallow ‘how dare you look down on me I can take care of myself’ content that implies that she’s worthy of respect only because she's physically powerful and can fight. I love women who fight I do but it’s so ugly to act like her canon self is inferior or worthless just because she doesn’t fight or cultivate and try to ~improve~ her by making her able-bodied
#fics where jyl has fibromyalgia and/or uses a wheelchair >>>>>>>>>>> 'how dare you treat me as a weak woman I have a sword'#in canon the explanation is a bit weak but she WAS frail and tired easily and she didn't cultivate#and these aren't flaws my god#there are huge issues with how all versions of canon treat the women but jyl's character and personality just need development#she doesn;t need to be physically strong to be a valuable character#and making her a fighter wouldn't make her a feminist character#ive come to hate the phrase 'take care of myself' ig that its about agency and retaining control of yourself#and defying patriarchal infantilization and overprotectiveness#but its so isolating and predictable. PLEASE get better material#ficblogging
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this is the weirdest transandro.phobia strawman ive ever seen like comparing the fact that ablebodied people will say disabled people’s bodies are triggering and something people need to be protected from to women who have some form of discomfort with men due to genuine trauma they have experienced. literally NO one is out here claiming men shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public or something, it’s genuinely just an excuse to be uncharitable towards traumatised people also the classic truther rhetoric of drawing in instances of gender conforming women saying masc women r scary/white women saying black men are scary etc in order to legitimise their claim that men r oppressed or ��masculinity is oppressed” while ignoring the fact it’s actually specifically how these groups are failing at cis white male masculinity that gets them in trouble. honestly treating ‘people finding you scary’ as a consequence of oppression is silly as hell when being perceived as intimidating simultaneously allows privileged men to get away with sexual assault + gets black men killed by police. again white men designed the patriarchy on purpose to be beneficial to them, being found intimidating is a feature not a bug!! the fact its designed to be able to deploy the accusation of posing a threat against marginalised people in order to victimise them (whether or not they are men, btw, since black, trans, and masc women suffer worse from this whilst simultaneously having even less power to actually make it so) does not then mean marginalised people are actually the Real Oppressors for having legitimate feelings of discomfort and hesitation around their oppressors
#the idea in general that like being perceived as a threat = oppression is stupid as hell sorry#its also like..almost blaming the person?#like when armed police shoot an unarmed person its not bc they genuinely thought that person posed a threat#its bc they are white supremacists#theres been such a weird attitude lately towards womens discomfort with men thats just very like#well just stop! get better! pull yourself up by your bootstraps!#and very little asking like..why they developed those feelings..#because i agree being obsessively terrified of every man isnt a great way to live but i promise its harming them more than anyone else
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