#people without that trigger also have the exact same choice

[c0rpseductor]

im watching this video (although im unlikely to finish it bc i just really disagree) about a study that seems to suggest trigger warnings Don't Work, and in this psych's own words are somewhat inimical to getting better because, like, exposure helps and you can't have the choice to avoid your triggers in the real world and blah blah blah

and i think that one of the issues here that i'm shocked doesn't really get brought up is that all triggers for all conditions are not made equal. you would think this is an easy concept but no.

like, some triggers are like, yeah. you actually cannot avoid this thing and trying to is just going to cause more problems in your life, even if it's painful to be exposed to it at first. stuff like really common names or particular common articles of clothing or whatever. you unfortunately have to deal, eventually, because these sorts of things are difficult to warn for and nearly ubiquitous. i've had these kinds of triggers before.

others are like. when the fuck am i going to encounter this aside from in fiction or maybe on the news? like, i have a choking trigger bc i was choked once. what fucking universe do you think i live in where i need to be prepared to see choking at all times because it's unavoidable? do people strangle each other to death every time you go to the grocery store???? what the fuck? the only time i ever see this shit is on tv or in erotica, in which case it is kind of on me that i chose to watch star wars or read a bodice ripper and stepping away does me no real harm or major inconvenience. what real life situation would possibly necessitate i not be warned for that short of getting violently attacked again? huh???

so like, i understand the attitude being "you shouldn't practice avoidance of men with brown hair" but don't understand the attitude being "you shouldn't practice avoidance of graphic violent imagery." why on earth do i need to see the second thing for any reason. what the fuck do you think happens out of doors

[witchiewitchie]

I would like to address an elephant in the room.

I've kind of reached my tipping point with the amount of slurs that people seem to feel completely comfortable using derogatorily in this fandom, so long as it's in the name of 'in-character' roleplaying.

I don't feel like calling anyone specific out, but these people will know who they are, and what's more, I'm sure that most people who are familiar with the plethora of It fandom tags that I've also used are unfortunately very familiar with these accounts.

Let me be clear: while personally, I do not have a strongly negative opinion of reclaiming slurs, there is a big difference between 'reclaiming', which overwhelmingly is seen as a process of taking back words and redefining them, and just straight up using a slur the exact same way a homophobic (or anything else) person would use them.

It is not okay to use the F slur, for example, as a derogatory term. This is a hard line that we must not cross, because no matter what, it is a term that has been used in the past and will continue to be used in the future as a way of discriminating against or otherwise insulting people.

Even if you want to defend yourself by saying that it is simply in-character roleplay, I would encourage you to take a step back and try to figure out why exactly perpetuating homophobia (which is what you're doing, for the record, if you use a slur derogatorily, no matter the context) is something that you must do, particularly in a public space, without any trigger warnings.

At the very least, trigger warnings are a must, particularly if you insist on using harmful words in public. I understand that in the current year most people are somewhat removed from such a thing as homophobic or otherwise LGBTphobic bullying and/or harassment -- which is a wonderful concept, to be sure! However, that does not mean that all of us are so lucky. Many people have trauma resulting from such kinds of bullying and/or harassment and would appreciate at least a tag that they can avoid, rather than having to walk on eggshells because of a lack of consideration by others.

I think this also holds true for any other slurs you might see people using, but I'm picking my battles where they need to be picked.

As a side note, I think that whether you as an individual feel comfortable reclaiming slurs or being around people who do so is entirely up to yourself, and no one can tell you what to feel or how to act about something that is so intensely personal.

Personally, I have participated in reclaiming slurs that have been used as insults for myself in the past, and to some extent do this even now, although much less often. However, I specifically do not use these slurs in public -- whether in real life or online -- because there is no guarantee that people who overhear or read your public message are not going to take it as A) you genuinely saying the slur as an insult or B) a go-ahead to use the slur as an insult.

I will again state though that it is ultimately your choice to reclaim or to not reclaim slurs, although I will reiterate that I believe that it is actively harmful to use these slurs derogatorily, and I do not think that it is a personal choice but instead a moral failing to use slurs derogatorily or to insult other people.

Sincerely, someone who was beaten up many, many times in school for being any number of slurs that people have now decided it is okay to use derogatorily even as part of those marginalised groups.

[interstellarsystem]

Waking Up After 10 Years of Dormancy – Identity, Grief, and Change

Long post ahead. This is a recount of my experiences as a headmate who was present in childhood, and then went dormant before waking up again in our 20s. There will be discussion of grief and dormancy in here, and mentions of abuse and headmate death without going into detail.

This is partially for the alterhumanovember / alterhuman writing challenge, and partially to get all of my thoughts out.

I’m Dain, a member of my system that all of the others never knew existed. I was here during childhood, though the exact year I came into existence is unknown, we think I became alive around 2008-2009. I lived alongside others sharing my body for years–maybe even up until 2014-2015. I fell into dormancy around then, and the current system had no idea I ever existed, as when I went to sleep, I took a lot of memories with me.

I don’t remember many of the others I shared time with, just that there was one we considered “the child”, what we would now call the original. I now know there was a switch between the original child and a new headmate, Archie, who isn’t the same person–but I’ll refer to them collectively as “the child” from now on, as my perspective was at the time. 

We–the others in the body–were there, living alongside the child, and I was protecting them along the way. I don’t remember fronting often, moreso… Silently observing, unable to move the body or communicate with them, but still there. Like a background process on a device. If emotions got high enough, I found myself in full control of the body, and I could get us out of whatever situation we had gotten ourselves into. Bullies at school, abusive figures in our lives be it parents or teachers, and other general stress–that was my battle to fight. I was the anger stored up behind the child’s fear, ready to lash out if needed.

As we got older, I started taking control less and less–not because we stopped needing me, but because the child had closed themselves off. They stopped allowing themselves to feel as deeply, and I was triggered into the front a lot less. Nowadays, I’d be aware it wasn’t a conscious choice, and was heavy dissociation, but back then I didn’t know. Some of the others–namely, the Pokemon I also shared the body with–had disappeared since our parents and friends were belittling us for still having “imaginary friends”. The child never spoke of me to anyone though, if they even knew I was there. So I think I only remained a little longer because of that. I’m not sure when I fell into dormancy, or if there was something that triggered it, or simply a gradual slip into sleep.

I woke up, though. At the end of last month, some others in our system had been looking at my source material. Deltora Quest, an anime based on an Australian authors novel–niche, mostly known to those who grew up in the time to watch it air on TV, or had ever picked up the books. We were looking at it again with our partner system, because we remembered it had been a huge special interest of ours as a kid, and had finally gotten around to watching more of it. Something about rekindling the interest woke me, and I was suddenly in the body again.

It, to me, was like I blinked. A foggy memory of being a child, still stressed about school, parents, and whatever else–and then a blink–and then, here. In a body I didn’t recognise, in a house I’d never been in, sharing control of the body with people I had never in my life met before. I still had all those memories of trauma, hurt and fear from before–and they all surfaced at the same time with me. I instantly panicked. After explaining where I was, Xeros, the person in cofront with me, told me that writing out everything coming into my brain could help us all organise and piece it together later. I did what it said, and wrote well over 2000 words before my thoughts slowed down a little bit–enough to actually focus. I called our partner system, calmed down after processing a bit more, and then got into bed to sleep off the residual panic.

It’s definitely taken a long while to come to terms with it. Effectively, I was in a coma for around 10 years, and the whole world moved on without me. I wasn’t in contact with any friends I remembered from before except one–who had changed a lot in the time that passed. I didn’t live where I remembered. Our siblings were so much older, as were our parents. We dropped out of school (though we’d be well past finished it by now). We got diagnosed with a whole bunch of things. We came out as transgender and are essentially completely socially transitioned and looking into HRT–even our parents know. And they know about our system too! Almost everything–if not absolutely everything–I knew before had changed in the blink of an eye. It absolutely shook me, to have my entire world uprooted and rearranged into something I couldn’t recognise as being something I have any part in. 

I felt an intrinsic heartache and felt full-blown grief over a life that, in my own experience, was “lost” through the irreparable change of time. There was no way of going back, no way of gaining back my lost years, and no way of bringing people I was close to back in contact with us or out of internal dormancy aside from sheer chance. We hadn’t died, but I had effectively died for years, and came back to a world that just… Kept moving. I mean, of course it would–the earth doesn’t stop for a single fragmented piece of trauma stored in the recesses of someone's mind. But coming back and not recognising anything or almost anyone around you… It was horrible. The sensation of loss was immense. I felt that I’d “failed” by going dormant, and learning that the child was no longer a part of the system. I felt that my entire purpose had fell through, and I was brought back for… No reason at all.

But… It’s not all bad. Far from it. The child may be gone, but our body isn’t. We’re not doomed to fail at life, as we thought back when I first existed. We’re volunteering and looking into getting an actual job, we have a stable group of friends, a loving partner system, and are on the road to moving out and getting some much needed time away from our home situation. Life isn’t horrible, and while it moved on without me, it moved in ways that were both bad and good. I don’t actually despise being here, even if I might have in the day or so after I woke up. The new group of people I share the body with is supportive, and I’ve already gotten closer to some of them. We’ve made real progress in the time I was gone, even if it all feels uncanny overall. I have a different mindset to what I had when I first woke up–I didn’t fail, I kept us going when we needed it back then. I didn’t give up, and there’s no way of telling where we’d be now if I never was there in the first place. Things are… good.

Though… I’ve got some confusing things within my own identity going on, since I woke up. Before, I was simply a fictive of Dain from Deltora Quest. Nothing much else to it, really. The child’s brain latched onto him as a strong character and implemented me into the system as a protective measure against outside forces. It all makes sense. But now? I feel like since I’ve been back, I’ve become a multifictive. Some part of me now is Tomura Shigaraki from My Hero Academia–something we’ve also been watching through, around the same time we got back into DQ.

It confuses me, in some ways. Makes sense in others. A lot of my mannerisms have changed to be slightly to-the-left of what I was before… Which does happen to lean me more toward acting like him. I questioned it without much deeper thought for a week or so, but found myself saying and doing more and more things that lined up with how he is. I suggested that I was a multifictive to our partner system, and on their second guess (and mind you, their first was a joke guess) of which character I could possibly be, they got it right. I acted enough like him to the point that others could see it, without even any hints. But it’s hard to tell where this came from.

See, I feel like if I wanted to, I could call myself a median subsystem. Others can tell which of my two fictive identities I’m leaning closer to at any given time–my voice, speech patterns and general attitude are instant giveaways. We don’t argue with each other, and the lines between Dain and Shigaraki–if there even are any–are so blurred they’re impossible to define. We can’t talk to each other, and we don’t feel a switch between us. But it’s so obvious that there’s two people, two whole identities, within what I call me. It’s incredibly confusing to think about the possible origin of how I came to be so… Fragmented within myself.

Am I the result of a new headmate that was forming (Shigaraki) getting stuck to whatever remained of the original Dain after he went dormant? Am I the original Dain with a new identity just sort of.. Added onto him? Am I two fully formed headmates put into one as a median entity for some reason? Does it even have a proper explanation that I could come to a concrete conclusion on? Well, no. Like most things that operate within systems, concrete explanations are hard to come by. My origin of why I am who I am now doesn’t matter, in the grand scheme of things, but I still feel the drive to know why I was changed by the time I woke up.

Overall? Life is confusing. Waking up has been a shock, but honestly, I’m glad I did. I’m glad I get to have a second run in this body, with new and kinder people than before to support each other. I’m still working a lot of stuff out, and I’m sure I will be for a long while after this. But… I’m here again, and it’s been a pleasure becoming a part of our new life.

[dingodad]

I know your tags said that the lil cal & Gamzee stuff isn’t worth discussing, but I think a lot of people could actually use someone articulating the problem with assuming that the puppet is what triggered the breakdown/“mind controlled” gamzee. If you’re really to speak on it, I’d love to hear it 

to preface: i'm not unsympathetic to the desire to see a more sympathetic interpretation of Gamzee given how his arc speaks to certain racialised themes within the comic. but this is what's in the text as i see it.

ultimately it comes down to the exact same arguments that apply to Dave's bro. Gamzee is part of Lil Cal, so if Lil Cal were whispering in Gamzee's ear the whole time he was also undergoing all these stresses related to faith and substance, those whispers are Gamzee's own thoughts being reflected back at him. if puppet-Gamzee suggests to man-Gamzee that he kill people and man-Gamzee concedes, all that's really happened is that Gamzee has given in to his own desire to do that. this is what Homestuck does when it pits alternate timeline versions of characters against each other; it simply manifests interactions going on within that character's own self.

more specifically to Gamzee, this is a character who manifests Homestuck's feminist themes very explicitly, especially in regards to how they are portrayed via Alternia's caste system as a member of the patriarchal purple class. it is true and worth mentioning of course that Lil Cal is not just Gamzee, but is also Caliborn, Gamzee's patriarchal god! but then it was Gamzee who raised Caliborn to have those patriarchal principles; because in Homestuck the patriarchy isn't something you're somehow influenced or tricked into participating in, it's something you choose to perpetuate, just as Caliborn chose to perpetuate it in becoming Alternia's patriarch... and so on ad infinitum.

the "tragedy" of a time loop isn't that fate is somehow forcing you to adhere to a course of events that you don't want to adhere to; tragedy is when the person that you are makes it inevitable that you will walk down that same violent path every time. and Homestuck is all about that person that you are; it's a story by and large disinterested with any scenario where a character's actions do not offer insight into their personalities. a Homestuck character has a certain nature, and while on occasion they are offered psychic stimuli, how they react to that psychic stimulus is according to their nature.

there is of course a physical rather-than-metaphysical approach to Gamzee's backstory, which I'm sure is more along the lines of what you were looking for lol, and while analysis of that is not so much my area I feel that the physical approach basically points toward the same kind of conclusions as the metaphysical one. Gamzee is a character of tragedy, who has been shaped by physical stimuli like religious abuse (from all manner of directions!), parental neglect and substance addiction. and my assessment of that is primarily that... this should be enough? like is that not enough to create a compelling character. even if it were not antithesis to Homestuck's themes I guess it just seems to me like it goes without saying that "this character's actions were the result of someone else's will and not of their own unique circumstances" reduces the character. most certainly yes, there are manipulative forces at work in Homestuck, and their name is Lord English, and yes, Lil Cal is Lord English, but Lord English's power lies in the telling of the narrative; and the narrative that turns Gamzee into a villain is already there! English doesn't need to tell Gamzee to make those malevolent choices, because English already established the circumstances that made those choices inevitable. to make Lil Cal into some literal cursed amulet is to make Lord English into Vriska, and that reduces him, because that's not what he is! he's the god of inevitability!

[class1akids]

The constant Shouto put downs wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact it feels like Shouto is being blamed for how Dabi was treated. Shouto can't be a hero because it's unfair on Dabi. Shouto can't get a power up because it's unfair on Dabi. Shouto can't be the only one who has ice and fire because it's unfair on Dabi. Right now it feels like Shouto is the one being punished for Endeavour's mistakes.

I'm not sure if you are talking about the narrative framing or fandom takes. Fandom takes you will never be able to control - there will always be people whose reading of the story triggers you - all you can do is to choose the spaces you interact with and the people you follow.

As for the narrative framing of the story:

The narrative doesn't blame Shouto for Touya's treatment. It puts the blame squarely on Endeavor and to a lesser extent on Rei. Touya's neglect started before Shouto was even born - in fact, his birth was to "discourage Touya". Yes, Shouto was born for all the wrong reasons, and his birth is clearly not a happy event in the family. He was born to break it, but he chooses to piece it together. That's his arc, his choice, his own affirmation of why he exists. Btw, I feel like Touya is not blaming Shouto for how he's treated. He's envious of Shouto and he blames him for throwing away so carelessly all the things Touya would have wanted for himself. There is a difference.

Shouto couldn't be a hero fully until he faced the turmoil inside himself (hence failing the provisional license exam), but he is definitely portrayed as the hero for the final arc (in fact already starting from the Endeavor internship arc and even earlier, like the Stain arc or Kamino - Shouto is usually on the right side of events, for the right reasons). More precisely in the endgame, he's embodying the theme of the hero who is there both for his family and the public.

I'm not sure why Shouto didn't get a power-up during the final arc. Maybe HK is viewing Phosphor as his power-up - even if it's not a quirk awakening but something he developed and worked on himself, it is clearly a power increase. In the PLF War, Shouto couldn't match Touya fire vs fire. Now he can: fire vs (fire-fuelled) ice. But it's also possible that he'll still get a power-up because saving his family was his "long way around" to the "path he's aiming for". There is plenty of foreshadowing that his endgame is to join his friends.

Like I said, I don't really view Touya having both ice and fire as something that takes away anything from Shouto. They could have the exact same power-set (although that doesn't appear to be the case) - the important thing is what you do with the power you have. That's the theme of the Todoroki family. We know what Shouto chose to do with his power, and I hope we will see at least some resolution with Touya too.

I agree that Shouto is suffering from Endeavor's mistakes - that's one of the points of the entire Todoroki family plot: the whole family suffers for Endeavor's sins. And even if he wishes to atone, he cannot fix anything - as those mistakes keep coming back to haunt them. Shouto's choice to pick up the pieces after Endeavor, to put himself in the path of Touya's wrath, to choose to face him is meant to be a pure and heroic choice contrasted with Endeavor once again not being there for his son. The narrative tries to balance these: the near catastrophic consequences of Endeavor's choice and the heroic save that Shouto gets for making the right choice. I personally think that we should still get a scene, where Endeavor fully steps up as a father and takes on the responsibility that comes with it, and for once in his life puts Touya above everything. This would also let Shouto be able to make a choice freely without having to worry about his family. I think that's the logical endpoint of the three arcs: Endeavor's atonement path to be a father, Touya getting the attention his inner child needs to heal, and Shouto's arc of emancipation and being able to decide who he wants to be.

[deconstructivesurgery]

mildly smashed on red wine right now so grammar notwithstanding: thinking about how fucked up an ending with unascended astarion/pursuing godhood gale would actually be. no trigger warnings just uh: spoilers and also: long

because just imagine- astarion is convinced in the end to not take cazadors power because it'll deprive him of his ability to enjoy life, replacing his soul and all positive emotions with an eternal hunger for more and more power and control. he understands why ascension wouldn't genuinely help him be happy or free- and so rejects it. but he doesn't understand why godhood is a poor choice for gale until it's already too late.

he trusts him, and after all those years of silence from the gods and from the good people in the world, the promise of a newly born god- bearing a crown specifically to serve his people, he promises- sounds amazing. it's just another example of sweet, devoted gale trying to do something overbearingly good for the world- and maybe for him, too. part of him still hasn't quite gotten rid of the idea that all they need to be happy is power, if they could just get enough of it without consequence. another part, beyond belief, actually sees gale in such a positive light- maybe in the same "you're the only person who was kind to me, you're unlike anyone else in your goodness" type of way that he sees a player character at one point- and hesitates to believe that he could be just as fallible as himself- just as tempted by the wrong decisions.

and maybe some part of him doesn't realize what ascension would have done to him until the day the netherbrain is killed, and gale stands out by the docks, eyes fixed on the chionthar. barely even celebrating. barely paying any mind to him at all. no more remnants of that ridiculous, verbose, catty hermit of a wizard that spent the past few months bickering with him over games of lanceboard and shared books. he's not really gale at all anymore, astarion would realize- because that was the whole point. gale wasn't capable of enough, in his eyes- and now he's resolved to be someone else entirely. something new. as absent as the rest of the gods already, and he hasn't even succeeded yet- but he's already seeing the world from a million miles away, as he leaves- without sparing astarion so much as a second thought. so much for visiting waterdeep. leaving astarion to wonder two things: why he'd ever thought it was a good idea to encourage him in the first place, and what sort of "something else" he himself would have become if he'd pursued power in the same way gale had.

I know a lot of people would probably run with the angle of Astarion being pissed that he was talked out of ascending while gale proceeded, but I like this better, personally- Astarion being forced in this scenario to reckon firsthand with all the reasons why ascension wouldn't have been good for him through Gale- realizing slowly that his idea that they'd be the exact same people, just with more raw ability and more personal freedom, couldn't be more wrong. that maybe he contributed firsthand to- but didn't cause, gale was already a bit megalomaniacal to begin with- the complete erasure of someone he loved in the name of making them "more than they were." the exact thing gale, tav, and the rest of the others were afraid would happen to him not so long ago. yay!

sorry if this was incomprehensible and long, sangria said fuck ya life bing bong to my brain cells

[lover-of-mine]

thank you for all of your replies to our messages!!

i am holding onto the fact that tommy is eddie in a different font. honestly i wouldn’t put it past tim to brush it off as ‘it’s just why they’re good friends’ but no, no way. helicopter, army, cars, wrestling, martial arts, bit sassy, fuckin exact same dating advice to buck… paired with the whole ‘MY attention?’ ‘i guess’… that has GOT to be deliberate. eddie and tommy being basically the same person has GOT to come back around as a point for buck to realise or for someone else to bring up, because if it doesn’t, what was the point?? literally just so he and eddie can have friend things in common?? nah. i’m not denying that buck is into tommy/attracted to him, he clearly is, but also tommy is a safer version of eddie, one that wouldn’t ruin his life if the relationship went badly

the marisol of it all���. i’ve seen lots of speculation that she and eddie may be having emotional intimacy issues, issues getting to know eachother or being emotionally closer. which could be kinda interesting. i assume that’s what ryan was alluding to with that whole ‘finding out who she is’ thing. tim’s comments about eddie being unsure about ‘his place in the world’ are very interesting though

i hope you sleep soon!!

It's no problem, I'm happy to talk about the show, and honestly, it's been great to help me release the anxious energy I've been feeling about it. And honestly, Buck's first experience with a guy being with Eddie a step to the left and triggered because of Eddie is such a choice, because it didn't have to go this way, they didn't have to make him so similar to Eddie, they didn't have to involve the whole jealousy thing, they didn't have to make the jump ship comment, they could've just made Buck reach out to Tommy and them getting to know each other, yk? The way they literally said "what if made Buck's bisexual awakening under pressure but Eddie kisses him when he's being a brat" and I'm supposed to believe that's not about Eddie, like, PLEASE. Love that Buck has a safe space to explore this part of himself without the obvious panic that will follow when he realizes he might be in love with Eddie, but, like, everything about Tommy is also about Eddie, and that's such a choice. I do think Buck is attracted to Tommy, like, people get crushes, and sometimes a relationship is about learning something, not actual endgame potential, and I think that's what's happening here. But, literally, Tommy is a safer relationship where he can figure himself out in a "controlled environment" in a sense. And the Marisol of it all, I do see things going that way, them having trouble to connect in a deeper level, but that's something we will have to wait and see I guess. I am very curious about the "his place in the world" comment for sure. I need to know what it all means lol

And right now I'm just waiting for it to be an acceptable time for me to fall asleep and not wake up at like, 3 am, so I can take something for me to sleep because I will not sleep without help today sipakapakpakapak, but thank you 🩷

[starlightandetherealshadows]

Hello! Feel free to ignore this, but I wanted to give my two cents about the MC's initial personality while playing. Now, this may be blunt, but at first, I was incredibly disappointed. Usually, I tend to play stoic/quiet MCs who don't lash or speak out, and it seemed to be quite the opposite to the distrusting and stoic mc in the game. However, I was thinking extremely hard about this, and I actually get why the MC was so outspoken, especially when V literally pointed a gun at them. Stoic and stubborn MC, from what I saw in the prologue, could easily be more nonchalant *before* the alien invasion, but that, obviously, changed. When C found them and brought them to the hideout, I didn't take into account that MC was in a vulnerable position, and I only focused on the part that MC hadn't interacted with another person in years. So, yeah, of course, MC may be overwhelmed, but their not gonna let people (V *cough*) walk all over them. I guess the thing was that I was so used to stoic MCs in IFs just standing on the sidelines and observing, but that is obviously not that kind of IF. The thing that had gotten to me the most, however, was the second-hand embarrassment of MC actually talking back to V after he blatantly insults them because I could never😭 I guess what I am trying to say is that even though I was seriously taken aback, none of the characters (including MC) are not gonna be 2-dimensional (as you have stated multiple times), and it has definitely grown on me, even if the MC was a little more of a fire-cracker than I expected. I am really looking forward to seeing where you take this story, and I will absolutely be eating it up because even if I might have to be tossing my phone across the room occasionally (bc my second-hand embarrassment is so easily triggered😭😭), I cannot get enough of your writing and characters!! I hope this made sense because I was just rambling about my take on if you are willing to make the MC a little more stoic or have some mute choices, which I am not against, but at the end of the day, I will still be reading the fuck out of Memento Mori! Have a good day/night!!! MWAH💋

Hi sunshine!

I appreciate your super-thorough analysis of both MC's personality and also your initial/developing reaction to it!

Just wanna offer some perspective on why I'm writing MC the way I am (you've already nailed a lot of the points but this is gonna be a succinct explanation from my head hehe)

MC is ultimately a fully fledged character in Memento Mori. While writing, I have about six different MC's in my head, each with distinct personalities, motives, and reactions to events. As I'm writing Ch. 2 in particular, I'm using these characters to influence the choices available and the stat checks necessary for certain actions. MC was never going to be a self insert. I love a good self insert sometimes, but it doesn't work with this if!

What makes characters feel realistic and multi-dimensional to me is their ability to break out of their different archetypes. We all know the ones like The Mean Girl or the Shy Kid or the Comic Relief. We can use your Stoic!MC example. Do we as humans act the same exact way every single day with every single event and interaction? No, we don't. Because we are complex, muli-faceted individuals that can have conflicting thought and actions, or opinions. What makes a character feel flat is when they are only given like 3 personality traits and stick to those regardless of what happens around them in the story.

So in Memento Mori, your Stoic!MC will have moments where they're outspoken and opinionated. The Charming!MC will lose their cool and lash out rather than smooth talk. The Friendly!MC will snap at someone without thinking. We aren't perfect, neither is MC, and I think that adds dimension to what can easily be a very blank slate kind of character. This isn't exclusive to MC, either! Veronica/Vincent will be nice to you sometimes for seemingly no reason. Zero will have moments where he is not okay and rejects your comfort when he reads it as pity. Cecelia/Chase will not always be the bouncy comic relief that uses humor to make everyone smile.

To add insult to MC's injury, like you mentioned in your ask, they are suffering from extreme amounts of PTSD and trauma. They have lost everyone and everything, they're a young adult living in complete isolation for two years. They're starving, they're injured, they hate themselves and being alive. It's going to take them a while to feel like themselves. In the span of one day, they've been nearly killed by a monster, then they're covered in blood guts and sweat when they meet C, then C brings them to meet 6 other people (including two aliens) and now they're going on this extensive journey with complete strangers, while that very morning they were contemplating ending it all. it's a lot.

By the time MC meets V, they are already at their limit of dealing with bullshit so V pointing a gun at them was never going to fly. V insulting them was a no-go either. Now, in the future, MC can ignore V more often because they'll be less on edge than when they were all first introduced. Once they have time to process, then they can react what is most familiar and comfortable for them. It will take time.

I laughed when you called MC a firecracker! I'd say they're more...unpredictable as a character when they're under high stress. As time goes on, they'll adjust and mellow out in some ways, but right now? MC has had ENOUGH with feeling like shit all the time.

I'm really glad you were a bit embarrassed by MC talking back to V because that was my goal AHDSEWLKMFRLK it's supposed to feel a bit uncomfortable. It's MC trying to clap back on someone when they have lost most of their social skills. It made ME cringe while writing it. Like oof MC, just ignore them???!!!

I'll definitely be adding some more options to be a bit more stoic or selectively mute in chapter 2, and as for chapter 1, I think more options to stay silent while talking to Cecelia/Chase or when they're speaking with Delphine/V could be good too. I'll see how it flows!

You'll see at the beginning of Ch.2 that MC already feels a tiny bit better. Nothing much but at least they aren't alone anymore, and they have a hot shower and some real food. So small wins for MC!

I think that's all I wanted to say for now!!! Thank you again for your message, my friend!!! I'm glad you're liking my writing and my characters, it does mean a lot to have your support!! <3

[dramatisperscnae]

Headcanon - Bruce Wayne

The Code

Batman’s no-kill code is well known – and occasionally scoffed at – among the cape-and-cowl brigade. It is an ideal he strives to live by, and one he encourages – and usually expects – others to hold to, particularly those he trained and those he actively works with. He holds to this code for several reasons, among them being:

he does occasionally require the assistance of the GCPD, and if he – as a vigilante and thus technically a criminal himself – actively kills in the line of duty he will lose any and all goodwill he has earned from them

he does not want to stoop to the methods of his enemies. There is, on occasion, only a very fine line that separates the Bat from those he fights; not killing is a part of that.

Most, if not all, of the martial disciplines he has studied and mastered often come with cultural philosophies regarding the sanctity of life. To betray those philosophies would be to stain the legacies his masters left him.

If his hands become stained with blood, what makes him any better than the man who gunned down his parents in that alley?

That said, there is a well-known book in which is written ‘let he who is without sin cast the first stone’. For Bruce to demand no killing, ever, for any reason, would be the height of hypocrisy; he has taken life in the past, though seldom willingly and always in self-defense. [for canonical evidence of this, see this post by The Real Batman Chronology Project] He is well aware of this, and aware that there are times when his code may well cause more harm than it avoids; after all, Bruce himself will freely admit – and has admitted –that the world would indeed be a better place if the Joker was dead.

Killing is, and always will be, a hard line for Bruce. He knows how easy it would be for him to become a killer, how simple. How all it would take for him to become the villains he fights is to allow himself to pull the proverbial trigger on the basis of helping, of trying to do good and removing major threats like the Joker or other shown-to-be-irredeemable villains from the world for good. The road to hell, as they say, is paved with good intentions.

Nowhere has he seen this most clearly than in the fall of Hal Jordan in the wake of Coast City’s destruction. Watching a man Bruce had come to respect and trust – and even, though he might never admit it, to see as a better man than him – become something like Parallax, willing to tear the entire universe apart in the name of trying to fix things, was a sobering experience, and pushed Bruce to hold even tighter to his code and demand others do the same.

Even so, as idealistic as Bruce can be at times, he is nothing if not a realist. In his line of work, in the kind of battles he fights, there will be death. It’s unavoidable; no matter what he does people will die, and if it comes down to the choice between his life and his opponent’s Bruce will choose himself. He has to; it’s pure instinct. He can, will, and does try to avoid that choice as much as possible, tries to mitigate the damage and prevent death with all the skill and power he has, but, well.

Sometimes even the Batman can’t avoid lethal force in self defense.

It will always – always – be a last resort, when literally all other options have been exhausted, and it will never – ever – be in cold blood. It may simply be – and often is – a mere chance of fate, the luck of being the one on top when two men fall off a roof in mid-grapple.

Because of this, he will allow certain compromises, if one can call them that: those who work with him, while actively working with him, are expected to maintain and uphold his no-kill code; likewise, any hero or vigilante who wants to work in Gotham City is also expected to do so. Outside of his city, and when not actively on a team-up? He’ll expect them to try, but will be less exacting about the degree of success. In either case, a death during a mission is not necessarily a deal-breaker; self defense is a thing, and while Bruce holds himself to extremely strict standards he can be surprisingly lenient with others even on hard-line matters such as this...so long as the killing was not done with active intent or malice aforethought.

Straight-up murder someone, though, and you best pray he never finds out. No matter who they are.

[fantasyinvader]

I think tonight, I’ll repeat why I think Edelgard is a great character.

Remember the phrase “would you kindly…”? It’s from Bioshock, a seemingly harmless little turn of phrase that, in reality, is a hypnotic trigger for your character. It doesn’t seem like much, but the game hammers it’s importance into your skull with it’s reveal. Your character has not been in control, you’ve been a puppet all throughout your vacation in Rapture. It also serves as a deconstruction of video games, how we don’t question the quests we’ve been given or even our own actions. We’re told “hey, you’re the good guy. Go do this.”

Edelgard does the exact same thing, just without the brainwashing…possibly. There may be something to her Crest of Flames. But all she does is feed the player her narrative. How rotten the world is, why it is, what needs to be changed and how she wants to do something about it. It starts sounding like this more traditional RPG tale, Edelgard against an evil Church.

But, as the devs said, the game world was built around supporting Silver Snow, it was built around the story where it turns out Edelgard is actually the villain the entire time. And while the execution is frustrating, to say the least, it does tie into the intent behind the game as well as it’s themes. Namely the Buddhist stuff I’m always harping on, how Byleth isn’t supposed to be led astray by their own ignorance while the player is supposed to immerse themselves into the setting.

Byleth is supposed to be a bodhisattva figure, being tempted through their attachment to Edelgard but ultimately not succumbing to it. The attachment is the big deal here, as it’s through it that Byleth can be led astray. The game references the story behind the Banner of Victory through Silver Snow’s save icon, Byleth’s flag which the devs called the game’s real Fire Emblem representing the faith people put in Byleth. Going down this route is framed as changing the story.

But is also means that the player is going down a path not supported by the world building. That they believe something else, and as a result mow down everyone in Edelgard’s way. This was stated to be the intended them of the route, like it’s charging that the player didn’t pay attention to the story and world. Yet at the same time, there’s still the little hints of world and character building that tells us this isn’t the heroic route we thought it would be. It’s all in the little details, the contradictions and the implications, and they all add up.

If the player doesn’t pay attention, Edelgard will play them like a damn fiddle and she doesn’t have to say “would you kindly.” She’s a villain who can convince people to join her in order to supposedly save the world. And if the player still isn’t paying attention, they’ll believe it.

Going back to Bioshock for a second, by the time you’re given your first moral choice (save or harvest the Little Sister), you’ve been in Rapture for a while. You’ve heard the ideology the city was founded on, seen it’s ruined state, and what the people have become. You’re still piecing things together, but you’ve seen enough. You’re given the choice, Harvest and kill the Little Sister for more ADAM, making yourself stronger by sacrificing others, or saving the Little Sister at the cost of that additional ADAM. The latter option goes against what Andrew Ryan founded the city on, you’re rejecting that ideology and telling him to shove his copy of Atlas Shrugged where the sun don’t shine. Or you buy into it, putting yourself above others like he would have wanted. Not simply a “good” or “evil” choice like many make it out to be.

By the time you’re given the option to join Edelgard, you should have seen enough already to see why it’s a bad idea.

And I just find that’s a pretty cool concept, even if it does weaken the recruited characters if you really examine it. Plus she looks like the Queen of Hearts out of an Alice in Wonderland production post-timeskip. Real “off with her head” vibes.

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

Shit, this is gonna be heavy. Trigger warning for discussion of cult abuse and self-harm. I'll put a cut somewhere.

Foster care with the Pentecostals, and then to a fair degree my great-grandma, trained me to be constantly ashamed of myself and self-flagellating about it. In that typical fundamentalist religious context, of course. Since I had ADHD, everything I did was either wrong or not good enough most of the time. And they taught me that if you feel guilty, it means you are sinning and need to be punished. Standard fare for their brand of Christianity.

Now, this is complicated by the trigeminal neuralgia a lot. Since it was a pretty severe burning pain for such an early age, it's the impulse control problem. That is, there was none. And the pain was also seen as a punishment from God, once they finally believed that something was wrong with my face. For... Ah, yes, that's right. It was for the crime of literally being the legal definition of a bastard (a thing no child ever has a choice in). You know, because you're supposed to get married before you have any sex at all, or you're sinning. According to them.

But that I actually understandably had no impulse control was a problem, too, because everything is problematic to them. Even though if they'd had any compassion at all, they'd have understood that I was going through something unspeakably painful, and that I needed to be treated with kindness instead of scorn. Like, I'm only digging half my face completely bloody because there's nothing else I, a four/five year old child, can do without help from other people who actually know what's going on. Trust me, no one was more afraid of what was happening than me.

Also, especially to Nanny, I was destroying the beauty God had also still blessed me with. So I really had a lot of reasons to feel bad and guilty and ashamed. And they of course made sure I knew that, even if they were being 'subtle' about it. To say it didn't help me cope with the pain any better or stop picking at sores would be a massive understatement. I literally believe the stress of it triggered even more pain that I couldn't just ignore.

I was also unable to communicate with others effectively, and was constantly, sometimes even intentionally, misunderstood. I was a freak, and people consistently bullied me. Nothing I did ever seemed to make much difference when people were hellbent on judging me for my disabilities. And even when people didn't, it barely mattered with everything else that happened.

So I was extremely repressed and traumatized to the point that I believed I deserved being punished for anything I felt guilty about doing or thinking or being incapable of getting everything right every time, including the first. Since mistakes weren't allowed. It also led me to lie a lot about things like homework that no one understood how I struggled to complete because of reality that I wasn't a perfect student even though I was also pretty smart. Because that's not how education works, but a lot of people will try to con you into believing it is.

And subconsciously, I simply continued the barrage against myself, since my parents and grandma weren't so strict and my very dysfunctional mind just screamed at me night and day that I have to punish myself. But at the exact same time, I also still believed I was weak for succumbing to the pain and self-harming, even though it felt like my rightful punishment. Because the assholes brainwashing me were nothing if not constantly contradicting in their own beliefs.

-Carl ⚾😺

[zingsmith]

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[howlsofbloodhounds]

Just wanted to add on to this because I had a new idea but also because I wanted to say this; no I do not dislike positive portrayals of this ship, especially if it’s done well. It’s just that I want something new for it, and I want elements of canon to be interwoven and twisted and ya know.

For example; the idea that Killer is grateful for Nightmare saving him, something I’ve seen a thousand times. This is a cute and wonderful idea, but it isn’t true in canon. Killer was ready to off himself, to finally rest, and being kidnapped by Nightmare took away his choice once again. He escaped Hell only to be forced to do the exact same thing again.

We learn this in the comic called Something New Happened, where Killer confronts Nightmare before leaving him with Color. Killer’s Good Ending.

To put a twist on it, maybe Nightmare does not realize that. He felt Killer’s pain, saw what he was about to do, and reacted without thinking. He thinks he’s giving Killer another chance at life, thinks it’s helping Killer to not feel anything; not realizing that Nightmare has basically taken the place in Killer’s life that Chara once held. And maybe he doesn’t realize this because he has unknowningly placed Killer into a freeze/fawn trauma response.

So maybe something happens to make him realize that, maybe Stage 1 Killer has an outburst and breaks down screaming at him. Or maybe he sees Killer being triggered into Stage 1 while on a mission and witnesses that breakdown. And that’s when Nightmare finally realizes what’s going on, and does his best to fix his mistake. (Such as searching for a therapist for Killer and getting him on any meds he may need.)

And from here they start trying to trust eachother, get rid of the Boss & right hand dynamic. Nightmare constantly having to reassure Killer that his regret and wish to make it up to him is real and genuine, and maybe Killer slowly starts trusting this. Probably because Nightmare explains why he needs negativity, and that he isn’t just doing this because he’s bored or something.

And that he needs help from people such as Killer to be able to get into AUs & spread negativity.

(I also want Nightmare to apologize for beating Killer’s cat right in front of him, assuming that still happens in this version)

I do love these characters, and I did use to ship this once; it was what got me into this fandom, even though I now prefer family like dynamics for Killer & Nightmare.

(There is still an issue of Nightmare being able to control Killer’s soul, which is why they’ll work together to build up trust around that aspect (maybe they agree that unless Stage 3/4 are triggered, or Killer specifically asks NM for help, Nightmare will leave it alone. The only time NM is allowed to switch him to stage 2 against his will is if he’s triggered into Stage 1 while on a mission and that endangers Killer’s life.)

They set strict boundaries. And Nightmare really wants to respect that, because he doesn’t want to be like his abusers and nor does he ever want to remind someone else of their abuser.

Killer is loyal to Nightmare now, because he has earned it. Because now Nightmare has genuinely saved him. He’s genuinely apologized and is trying to make it up to him, trying to help him heal from his trauma. Isn’t closely monitoring his soul anymore and forcing his code to remain as “k1ll_sans.” Killer isn’t falling over himself to please him or blindly loyal.

And more importantly; Nightmare isn’t forcing him to remain as Killer anymore. If Killer so pleases, he is free to attempt to heal his soul and fully revert back to Sans; even if doing so wouldn’t benefit Nightmare. Or maybe Killer even chooses to remain as Killer, because now he has a reason to not reject his existence now that he’s finally found some happiness and stability.

He’s found happiness and hope, and now he sees a reason to keep living (which is the canonical reason he chose to leave with Color, because he believes Color could offer him that. And if Nightmare can give him that in this interpretation, then why would he leave?)

Or maybe even temporarily revert to Sans, potentially switching back and forth between Stages as he pleases. Maybe being allowed to exist freely will ease the conflict in Killer’s soul.

Can we please get more of canonish Killer & Nightmare in fanfics? Fanon is okay but it’s so overdone and kinda boring now.

Fanon Killermare rarely has anything interesting done about it. The dynamic is just “tsundere Boss Nightmare” and “simp Killer.” Killer never feels like his own character, just there to simp (and I suspect Nightmare simps just use him as a sorta self insert so they can simp for Nightmare through him or something).

Only Nightmare’s trauma is actually acknowledged and never Killer’s. Nor how Nightmare plays a role in it.

The power dynamics inherently baked into their relationship is ignored. And if not ignored, it’s romanticized.

Like, no it is not a good thing that Nightmare falls “in love” with a man who’s soul he can use to physically, mentally, and emotionally control whenever and however he pleases. No Killer will not appreciate that.

No Killer does not like being under Nightmare especially after he worked so hard to get out from under Chara. Nightmare Is Not His King.

Like, can we please acknowledge in fanfics how Nightmare literally took away Killer’s choice to live or not? Can we acknowledge in fanfics how Killer, up until meeting Color, is only alive because Nightmare is forcing him to be?

Can we acknowledge how hopeless he feels under Nightmare? And how Nightmare knows this and doesn’t care?

Can we acknowledge how a part of Killer—stage 1—does not want to be with Nightmare, let alone want to be alive?

I don’t want Killer being in love with Nightmare first. I want Nightmare falling in love with Killer, and Killer not being able to trust that at all.

I want Stage 1 fearing that he’s trying to manipulate him. I want Stage 1 spending this whole “courtship” in disbelief because he legitimately can’t tell if it’s real or not.

I want it to be acknowledged that Nightmare forcing Killer into Stage 2 & staying in it isn’t gonna give him what he wants and will only subconsciously push him further away.

I want Nightmare working to fix himself and his mistakes and actually make it up to Killer. Even if that includes letting Killer go.

Killer deserves to be the one treated with love and care in the Killermare ship for once. He shouldn’t have to be the one who always puts in the work.

Nightmare needs to earn Killer’s loyalty. Not just take it and force it however and whenever he wants.

—-

I’m aware that my version is still toxic, but it doesn’t even have to be something like this. I just want Killer to be his own complex character in fanon Killermare the way Nightmare is allowed to be.

Not only is fanon Killermare boring and repetitive, it never acknowledges Killer as his own person. It never acknowledges his backstory or how he was created, nor his emotionlessness.

Nightmare is allowed to not know what a healthy romantic relationship is, but Killer is somehow expected to know these things even though he spent years being tortured until he broke and was created into something new—and that new something was used to kill people—his friends and family—for years and years?

Stop pretending Nightmare is Killer’s King. He isn’t nor would Killer ever accept him as that. He worked so hard to gain some autonomy over his existence and y’all want to shove him under Nightmare and pretend like he’ll willingly accept it? Why is Killer never allowed to explore his existence and found out who he is as a person?

It’s just simp, simp, simp, loyal, loyal, flirt, flirt, with y’all.

No hate on those who ship this, but fanon Killermare can be a lot more than what it is now and I hate that it isn’t.

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

Sorry if this sounds rude and/or demanding, but what are the "rules of fanfic?" I have been in the community for a while, but have only learned from osmosis and want to make sure I'm doing it right.

There aren’t really any set-in-stone rules, just common accepted behavior that the wider fandom community agrees on through practice. The issue is that different fandoms, and in this case different fanfiction sites, have different standards of behavior and it’s annoying to see people not adjust their behavior when coming to a different site.  Most of it is learned through osmosis like you said, but some people need it spelled out.

- Don’t steal shit - Art or fic. The post i made earlier was inspired by seeing a fic where the author said not to repost their work on another site without permission, than admitted the fic featured art they stole from google images. Super hypocritical. Don’t do that.

- Don’t copy other people’s fics - “Inspired by” does not mean tell the exact same story beat for beat with only a few minor changes to detail and word choice. This has happened to me twice now. Insert Doofenshmertz meme.

- If you want to write something inspired by someone else, ask first. It’s polite.

- Don’t beg for updates in the comments

- Don’t advertise your own work in the comments of someone else’s fic

- Don’t spam comments

- Don’t write sexual comments on nonsexual works

- Don’t talk about ships on a gen work

- Don’t leave criticisms the author didn’t ask for

- Don’t ”request” what authors should write in future chapters. Speculate what might happen sure, don’t demand it.

- Don’t make posts/send messages fishing for someone to write/draw your idea for you, like “feel free to use this idea ;).”  If you want it so bad, either make it yourself or commission someone.

- Don’t bother with that read-for-read stuff. There are discord servers and such to advertise your work, don’t demand attention from other authors, then get upset when they aren’t interested.

- Don’t shame/guilt trip people for not reading your work.

- Don’t make a fic on ao3 that’s just “looking for a fic” or “fic request” or the like. There are plenty of other social media platforms to ask people for help finding something specific. Doing it on ao3 clogs the feed.

- Speaking of clogging the feed, don’t tag every single character who happens to have a speaking line or cameo. The tags are for people trying to find stories that feature the character in question and it’s annoying to have to sort though things where they only appear once and have maybe two lines. Stick to the ones who matter in the story.

- Be diligent in tagging other things. Not just potentially triggering topics. Do research and learn what tags mean and when they are warranted. Unlike wattpad, ao3 doesn’t have an algorithm so tags matter more than anything.  They let people find what they want to see, and block what they don’t.

- Don’t tagscum, aka stuffing tags that don’t/barely apply in order to get attention.

- Just don’t be an inconsiderate jerk.

There’s also a decent tvtropes forum discussion with these points and others if you want further reading:

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=14350378750A28171600&page=1

[sneezemonster15]

Hii, I love your analysis on SNS. I just wanted to know that what do you think sasuke meant in the last scene when Naruto was returning his head band, when he was talking about praying??? Like the whole dialogue??? Some people are saying he is considering naruto's love for him as a prayer or he was talking about conviction of Shinobi??? I am really confused 😃

Hi. I would have answered this sooner, but it's difficult when workload gets heavy. In any case, nothing can keep me away for very long from Naruto so here I am.

You touched a sensitive nerve there. Sasuke describing his love for Naruto as a prayer?

A lot of SNS fans find it difficult to describe Naruto and Sasuke's relationship. I do too. I mean yeah, it's romantic love, sure. But more than the conventional meaning of it. It is hella devotional and all consuming, it is like a religion. Their love transcends the conventional understanding of love. This panel is a good example of it. Among many in SNS.

There have been whole ass movements in literature that were founded on the element of devotion, the parallels between religion and romantic love have been used as an effective tool to portray passionate and deep emotions in many Asian articles of literature and cinema. Bhakti movement is a good example of it. Rumi is another. Try this piece of poetry by Rumi for size.

"This love is not a short-lived fancy. It is the daily prayer, the year-after-year fast. I live it, like an act of worship, till the end of my life."

Sound familiar? It's this element of deeply felt devotion in this 'feeling' they both talk of, that sets them apart from lesser beings like the rest of us.

I wondered why Kishimoto made Sasuke call it prayer. It's an interesting choice of word, and given it's a significantly conclusive panel, you know Kishi did it for a reason.

A prayer is something you do even when you have no evidence or proof it will work.

Like a religion. That's how Sasuke sees his feelings for Naruto. That all this love that he carries for him is like a prayer, that Sasuke will keep loving Naruto no matter what happens. It's bottomless, beyond the limit of mere definitions.

Sasuke loves him.

And Naruto loves him too. Beyond reason. Also like a religion, like an unshakeable faith.

Even though he has good reasons to protect and support Sasuke, I think there are very few things that he wouldn't forgive when it comes to Sasuke. And he wouldn't forgive anyone who hurts Sasuke.

When Naruto admits that every time he saw Sasuke carrying all his burden, he felt pain and wanted to share it, Sasuke realizes that Naruto feels the same way he feels for Naruto. But where Sasuke is aware of his feelings for Naruto, Naruto hasn't completely understood them yet.

But it's enough for Sasuke to understand. This admission from Naruto is the trigger that leads Sasuke to finally admit his own feelings towards Naruto.

It's curious to see how Kishimoto still doesn't define these 'feelings'. But he uses this word in text frequently. I mean sure, Kishimoto obviously cannot say it outright. But like everything else in SNS, he finds a way to say something significant without using the exact words. But he also mindfully provides more than enough subtext to justify it.

I have written more specifically about it here,

Sasuke finally understands the nature of Naruto's feelings towards him. Kishimoto deliberately skirts away from explicitly explaining this 'feeling', if they were brotherly, there would have been no reason to do it. It doesn't matter, we get it. And Sasuke gets it.

This 'feeling' is so all encompassing, that Sasuke thinks of it as the guiding light to redemption.

His love for Naruto is bigger than the deep turmoil and bitterness inside him. Naruto never left his side, not once. So Sasuke decides to take Naruto's hand (doesn't the visual imagery suggest it?), and join him in his new goal. Ideologically, they have different theories about war and revolution, village and Hokage, which are central to the ethical tussle in the narrative. It's not like Sasuke decides one theory is better than the other. No. His change of heart is not a capitulation. It's a choice. Made by Sasuke. For love. Because nothing is bigger than his love for Naruto. Which he now realises.

The sense I got from this panel was that even though Sasuke loves Naruto, he is aware of all the roadblocks in the way of their union, namely, the expectations of people. Being the most powerful shinobis in the entire Ninja world, they now carry the responsibility of rebuilding the world after a devastating war. But Sasuke decides to keep faith regardless because that's how faith works. He decides to join Naruto in his goal of uniting all the shinobis.

Conviction of shinobi never meant much for Sasuke. In contrast with Naruto. Kishi waxed eloquent about being an ideal shinobi when it came to Naruto but with Sasuke, it was always about avenging his family, then bringing a revolution, righting a few wrongs. And the path he took for it was obviously different from what a typical ideal shinobi would take. It's basically the central conflict discussed in chapter 696.

Since there isn't any subtext for it, I won't say it is because Sasuke considers a shinobi's conviction all important in Naruto Manga.

He is still expecting to finally settle things between them. This is all very deliberately subtle wording, and may seem ambiguous or confusing. But with subtext, all this text makes perfect sense. It's really about them as individuals and their bond, not about some amorphous theory about being a shinobi. The first few panels of chapter 699 indicate that Naruto and Sasuke's love for each other is bigger than their love for everything else, including villages and shinobi system and all the politics inside it.

Which finally brings me to my last panel.

This stupid panel. It just didn't feel such a lengthy, eloquent and deeply emotional monologue would have led to something this dry and incongruent. Anti climactic af. It really feels like it should have said something more emotionally conclusive. But well, it's a show about ninjas at the end of the day.

Still, Kishi is a cruel mistress.

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

Psychosomatic symptoms are different than what you're describing. They're the exact same symptom as what a person with a physical condition would experience, but without a physical cause. Throwing up from anxiety would be an example of a psychosomatic symptom. There's nothing physically wrong with the stomach, it's the brain sending faulty signals to the stomach. A person with psychosomatic paralysis would be entirely unable to move, either at all times or because of a trigger like stress. I think what you're trying to describe is people using terms incorrectly, like saying "decision paralysis" when they mean "feeling unable to make any choices". Psychosomatic illnesses are much less common than simple term misuse, but it's important to distinguish the two because people with psychosomatic illness are often put in dangerous situations because people believe they can overcome their symptoms if they "try hard enough".

Also, there are absolutely disorders that cause temporary paralysis. The one that comes to mind is HNPP, where an affected area can become temporarily paralyzed from pressure, such as having one leg crossed over the other.

I understand the gist, that words have meaning and it's important to not warp or co-opt terms to try to fit into the concept of "physically disabled" or to get a slur pass. But I think it's equally important to understand terms so that we're not accidentally promoting stereotypes about other conditions.

I am absolutely begging people to understand the difference between a physical issue with the body and psychosomatic effects/the impact of mental symptoms.

A person who has paralysis due to a physical disability does not 'sometimes' have paralysis. Their mobility aid does not take away the paralysis. It simply helps them to be mobile, whilst still feeling the full effect of their paralysis. It's a mobility aid because without it that person would be completely unable to move all of the time, always. They need aid to move. Sometimes having a symptom which sometimes causes you to not mentally be able to will yourself to move even though you are physically able to move is not the same. Yes, taking medication to reduce that symptom can be vital, but even unmedicated your body is always able to physically move you just may on the occasion be mentally unable to move yourself.

Nobody is trying to ignore the hardships you face because you are neurodivergent. But there is a difference and the history of the physical disabled is different and the needs of the physically disabled are different. Physically disabled people are allowed to have spaces which are just for them and things which are just for them. If you get mad at somebody for saying 'that's so Autistic' as an insult or saying 'I'm a bit OCD' when they don't have OCD then you surely should understand why physically disabled people don't want you to use a slur for the physically disabled or mislabel your experieces as being the same as theirs.