#organic chemistry ii

[dead-fandom-society]

don’t care didn’t ask, attacking the electrophilic pussy carbon of a ketone or aldehyde

(I’ve reached my limit with studying mechanisms for orgo II)

[polskapika]

Here is a summary for Diels Alder for Ochem:

[ravings-of-a-mad-scientist]

After chemists first made gold-xenon bonds and realized they could make practically anything bond to anything by abusing the atoms enough.

Poor berylliums getting all their electrons stolen

[m4lexxx67]

I should be reading my book on organic chemistry because I have the exam in like a month and I haven't learned shit yet bc my professor fucking sucks. But why does the book have to be so... idk, it's not even really boring cause I do find it kinda interesting how different groups in molecules affect the reaction but like... the reality and act of having to actively try and learn all this, just SUCKS. I don't want to memorize all these stupid mechanisms and then when you adjust the temperature something totally different happens and I need to know that. Not even that, I need to be able to tell what reaction happens based on the reactants and like... I wouldn't mind knowing that, but I also wouldn't mind if I didn't but I'll fail my exam if I don't. I just really don't want to put in the work because I don't like it enough because it's fucking organic chemistry and of course I have to do FOUR FUCKING SEMESTERS of this shit and I'm already hating the first WHYYYYYY 😭😭

[er-cryptid]

[kingdrawcse]

In 1942, a team led by chemist Louis Fieser originally developed napalm for the US Chemical Warfare Service in a secret laboratory at Harvard University. The name “Napalm” is a portmanteau of two of the constituents of the original thickening and gelling agents: naphthenic acid and palmitic acid. The addition of these two helps gelatinize combustible materials like gasoline, which then sticks to surfaces and burns, causing more damage. Napalm was widely applied by the US during the Korean War for close air support.  It also became an intrinsic element of US military action during the Vietnam War. Reportedly about 352,000 tonnes of napalm bombs were dropped in the region within 10 years. The image shows a girl named Phan Thị Kim Phúc at nine years of age running naked on a road after being severely burned on her back by a South Vietnamese napalm attack.

naphthenic acid

Naphthenic acids (NAs) are a mixture of several cyclopentyl and cyclohexyl carboxylic acids. NAs is mainly used in the soap, textile and leather industries. It can also be used in the manufacture of disinfectants and insecticides, or in the manufacture of dry agents and brighteners for the paint and coating industry. NAs soap is also a good emulsifier and it is widely used to prepare lubricating coolant for metal working.

palmitic acid

Palmitic acid, or hexadecanoic acid in IUPAC nomenclature, is the most common saturated fatty acid found in animals, plants, and microorganisms. As its name indicates, it is a major component of the oil from the fruit of oil palms.

[ros3ybabe]

First Impressions 🎀

I've had 4 of my 5 classes so far (one doesn't start til october) and I definitely have some thoughts on them, so I thought I'd share my first impressions!

Principals of Accounting II:

the professor seems a bit disorganized, nervous, and semi chaotic but I like his energy

so many people in southern attire, I was a bit surprised

might take a decent amount of study time and energy to keep my grade up in the class, but I'm always up for a challenge and I definitely know I'm capable

gotta figure out a time efficient study routine for this class

Learning (Psychology)

professor has an accent, no idea where he's from, but it's a cool and thankfully understandable accent

feels very content heavy. I definitely want to buy the textbook for this class

need to find a way to stay awake, that's one of the classrooms that make me sleepy

that professor likes to talk for sure (1 hour and 15 min of just the syllabus? man's can talk)

Integrated Survey of Organic and Bio Chemistry

the professor is definitely a science guy, him being the professor makes perfect sense

i really like how he explains and teaches

appreciate that all the content needed is already posted to our class online and all the slides are available already

I love science based classes because I know how to succeed in them and this one seems no different

I have a friend in the class so that's nice!

Intro To Business (Online)

lots of content

lots to do

I gotta make sure I time manage for this class cause otherwise, I'm gonna fall behind

an introduction video?? why not just a discussion post?? ahhhhh

Overall, with working full time, this is going to be an incredibly stressful, incredibly busy semester, but I'm so up for the challenge, and I know I can do it. I just gotta study efficiently, time manage properly, and keep disciplined. I WILL be successful.

til next time lovelies 🩷

[callmedaleelah]

— Pinnacle [ tsukishima kei university au series ]

— so i pay the price of what i lost ; yes it is right that you can handle anything, but you can’t handle everything all at once

author’s notes : no mention of (y/n), written in second person pov, alternative universe, timeskip!tsukishima, college life, not proofread, english is not my first language, long written chapter

[ masterlist ] | [ ask daleelah go to box box 🐭 ]

Winter break felt like a blur of constant assignments, stress, and messages from your mother. You found yourself buried in work, avoiding the outside world—especially your phone, which you knew was filled only with your mom’s relentless reminders to study harder, do better, and aim higher. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s contacts had been pushed to the bottom of your recent conversations, untouched since that day in the gym.

You haven’t seen Yamaguchi or Tsukishima since that winter class you skipped to watch their game. That day feels like it happened in a different life—before the semester started to suffocate you, before your every waking moment was consumed by endless biochemistry coursework. You don’t have time to think about anything else anymore, not when every day feels like a battle to keep up with the expectations of your professors and the relentless academic pace.

Classes in the second semester are intense, perhaps even more than you expected. One of your courses, Organic Chemistry II, is particularly demanding. The subject matter dives deep into reaction mechanisms, synthesis pathways, and the stereochemistry of complex molecules. There’s also Molecular Biology, where you’re expected to learn and apply the intricate processes of DNA replication, transcription, and translation. Your third major course, Biophysical Chemistry, focuses on the thermodynamics of biological systems—another subject that stretches your mind to its limit.

It’s only the second week of your new semester in biochemistry, but it feels like you’ve been dragging yourself through months. Everything seems heavier this time—every lecture, every lab session, every assignment. The moment you open your textbooks and class notes, you can feel your brain protesting. There’s an exhaustion that hangs in the air, a feeling like you’re constantly one step behind even when you manage to complete your work on time.

Now, standing outside the lecture hall for Organic Chemistry II, you realized nothing much had changed. The same heavy textbooks, the same tight deadlines, the same competition between your classmates as they all tried to one-up each other. The new semester had brought a new intensity. You were still trying to keep up with your classmates—some of them seemed almost unnaturally gifted, answering the professors’ most complex questions with ease, while you constantly second-guessed yourself, even when you knew the answer.

Professor Saito, a man with a greying beard and an air of calm authority, strode into the room with his usual collected demeanor. His reputation preceded him—tough, no-nonsense, and known for pushing his students to think critically. Today was no different. He picked up a piece of chalk and began scribbling a chemical equation across the board.

Without glancing back, he posed his first question to the room. “Can anyone explain the significance of this reaction in the context of anaerobic respiration in yeast?”

The classroom, filled with second-year students, was eerily silent. Your eyes traced the chemical formula on the board—glucose breaking down into ethanol and carbon dioxide. The answer floated on the surface of your mind, but your heart pounded in your chest as self-doubt crept in. You scanned the room, hoping that one of the top students would break the silence and offer the answer instead. But they remained still, unfazed, as if this question was beneath them.

You bit your lip, feeling the weight of the quiet hanging over you. It was a simple question, one you knew the answer to, but something held you back. You hated this feeling—knowing, yet hesitating, paralyzed by the fear of saying something wrong. The silence stretched on, and finally, despite the knots of anxiety in your stomach, you slowly raised your hand.

Professor Saito turned to face you, his gaze resting on you with a slight lift of his eyebrows. “Yes?”

Your voice wavered as you spoke. “It’s… the fermentation of glucose into ethanol and carbon dioxide,” you said quietly, swallowing back the stammer in your throat. “Yeast uses this anaerobic process to generate energy in the form of ATP when oxygen isn’t available.”

Professor Saito nodded slightly, his expression unreadable. “Correct. And why is this process significant in industrial applications?”

You took a deep breath. “It’s used in brewing to produce alcohol and in baking for the carbon dioxide that helps dough rise.”

He considered your answer for a moment before nodding again. “Yes. Good. Remember, however, that the ATP yield here is significantly lower than in aerobic respiration. That’s the key difference.”

Relief washed over you, and you allowed yourself to relax—just a little. But before you could even savor that small victory, another voice broke the quiet.

“Professor, could you explain the exact mechanism for the stereoselective alkylation of an enolate in asymmetric synthesis?” The voice belonged to Renji, one of the top students in the class. His question was sharp and cutting, a deliberate challenge. “And maybe elaborate on the difference between kinetic and thermodynamic control in that context?”

A ripple of murmurs spread through the room, punctuated by a few suppressed giggles. You stiffened in your seat. The question was far beyond the scope of what you’d covered in class, meant to impress—or worse, embarrass—the professor. Renji’s tone dripped with arrogance, and the way he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, told you he already knew the answer.

Professor Saito regarded him for a moment, his gaze steady. He began to respond calmly, “In asymmetric synthesis, the stereoselectivity of the alkylation depends on—”

Before he could finish, another voice interrupted. “What about stereoelectronic effects when using Evans' oxazolidinone in highly hindered substrates?” Yumi, another top-tier student, chimed in with a smirk playing at the corner of her lips. She leaned forward slightly, her question laden with the same smug intent—to derail the lesson, to show off her own knowledge.

The air in the room became stifling. You could feel it—the discomfort rippling through the other students, the growing tension as Renji and Yumi sought to outwit the professor rather than learn from him. They weren’t asking to deepen their understanding. No, they were playing a different game, one of one-upmanship and arrogance.

Your stomach twisted with unease as you watched the scene unfold. Professor Saito, usually unflappable, seemed to falter for just a moment. You caught a glimpse of weariness in his eyes as he straightened up, preparing to answer yet another convoluted question. He had always been patient with his students, no matter how difficult the questions, but there was something in the way his shoulders sagged ever so slightly that made your heart ache for him.

You glanced around the room. Some students were fidgeting uncomfortably, others quietly whispering to their neighbors. The whole room had been hijacked by these few who cared more about showing off than learning, and the rest of you were left feeling small, inconsequential. You clenched your fists under the desk, wishing you could say something, do something to stop it, but the words stayed lodged in your throat. What could you say? What could you do?

Professor Saito began explaining the stereoelectronic effects, his voice steady, but you could sense his weariness growing. The air felt oppressive, like the weight of these students’ arrogance had smothered any genuine learning atmosphere. You shifted in your seat, feeling anxiety gnawing at your insides, hating the smug smiles that played on Renji and Yumi’s lips.

Before you could think further, you raised your hand signaling to interrupt the class. Professor Saito caught your motion and stop his explanation. “I’m sorry, Professor, may i speak?” Your voice came out a little shaky but louder than you expected, you can’t stop yourself right now. Every eyes are on you when the professor nodded. You land your gaze to Yumi—her smug faltered as she turned toward your seat. “I don’t see any stereoselective alkylation of enolates in asymmetric synthesis in our syllabus for this entire semester. So, if you’re going to interrupt the class with questions, at least stick to the topic we’re actually supposed to be learning.”

And now you turned to Renji’s seat, his face hardening as the room went deathly quiet. You could feel the eyes of the other students on you, and though your heart pounded in your ears, you pressed on. “And if you’re feeling that generously smart, maybe you should come up there and be the professor yourself. But what do you actually get from trying to make others—let alone the professor—feel small by throwing out questions just to outsmart them?”

Yumi’s smirk vanished, replaced by a look of shock. Renji shifted in his seat, his face hardening, but he remained silent. You could feel the tension swirling in the room, but it wasn’t directed at you anymore—it was directed at the arrogance that had poisoned the air.

Professor Saito stood there for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He cleared his throat, and the room snapped back to attention.

The room goes quiet, tension crackling in the air. You don’t usually speak up like this, but something about the arrogance in the room pushed you past your breaking point. The student sneers at you, but you don’t flinch. You’ve had enough of people trying to make others feel small just to inflate their own egos.

Professor Saito gives you a small nod of appreciation before continuing his lecture, the class quiet now except for the sound of his chalk against the board.

That evening, you’re back at your desk, struggling to finish another assignment. The words blur together on the screen, and despite your best efforts, you keep having to re-read the same paragraph over and over. You’re exhausted. There’s no other word for it. Even though you’ve tried to catch up on sleep, it never feels like enough. And there’s always another deadline looming, another mountain of work to climb.

Your phone buzzes next to you, but you don’t pick it up. It’s probably your mom again, asking why you haven’t called or berating you for not keeping up with her expectations. You’ve been avoiding her texts and calls lately because you can’t deal with the added pressure. She doesn’t understand how hard this is, how much you’re trying to juggle. Or maybe she does, and just doesn’t care. Either way, you don’t have the energy to explain yourself to her right now.

By the time you finish the assignment and hit submit, it’s nearly 2 AM. You slump back in your chair, staring at the ceiling. Every muscle in your body aches, and there’s a tightness in your chest that hasn’t gone away for days. You feel like you’re sinking deeper into a hole you can’t climb out of.

The thought of opening your phone again fills you with dread, but you do it anyway, more out of habit than anything else. When you do, you see an email from Professor Saito.

Subject: Checking In

I hope this message finds you well. I noticed that you submitted your most recent assignment late last night. While I am aware of the pressures you and many other students are under, I wanted to reach out personally.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed how diligently you’ve participated in my class. I’ve seen how you’ve quietly answered questions, even when you seemed uncertain of yourself. I also noticed how you stepped in during that difficult class discussion the other day and helped refocus the conversation. You have a sharp mind, and I hope you know that.

That said, I am concerned about you. I can tell that you’re pushing yourself hard, and while I appreciate your effort, I also want to remind you that your well-being comes first. I know what it’s like to feel the weight of academic pressure, and I want to encourage you to take care of yourself, too.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or need to talk, please know that my office door is always open to you. You are a valued member of my class, and I believe in your potential.

Take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything.

Warm regards, Professor Saito

As you read the email, you feel a lump form in your throat. You hadn’t realized how much you needed to hear those words until now. For so long, you’ve felt like you were just going through the motions, never sure if you were really doing anything right. But here, someone was telling you that you mattered—that your efforts weren’t invisible.

You close the email and stare at the screen for a long moment. Then, without thinking, you bury your face in your hands. The tears come quickly, a mix of exhaustion, relief, and gratitude. You hadn’t expected this—this kindness, this small bit of recognition in a sea of doubt.

tagslist (free to mention) ; @theweirdfloatything @snowthatareblack @ilovemymomscooking @nayiiryun @knightofmidnight @kozumesphone @scxrcherr

sorry for posting this late, i’ve been super busy with karate practice all weekend—i’ve got a belt test coming up soon, so the training’s been extra intense. i’m exhausted, and my legs hurt so bad i can barely walk, but gotta stay strong and push through! 😣

[alt-wannabe]

MCSR As Chemical Compounds

idk either man. expect very little actual explanation and a lot of chemical yapping from a very big nerd

Silverr as Silver Nitrate:

AgNO3

the above is the crystal structure

appearance is just a white crystal kinda like sugar

it took everything in me to not just make silverr plain Ag

silver nitrate is the most common precursor for all other important silver salts

also an extremely important compound in the development of photography! (and iirc silverr is a film major)

Feinberg as Ozone:

O3

produced during lightning strikes

pale blue at high ppm

only leaves gas state at cryogenic temperatures

naturally occurring in the stratosphere and absorbs UV rays from the sun

Fruit as Nickel(II) Chloride Hexahydrate:

NiCl2•6H2O

green

the non-hydrate form is a sort of olive-y yellow color

used to absorb ammonia in gas masks

Raddles as Potassium Permanganate:

KMnO4

Sometimes referred to as Purple Potion Powder

goes CRAZY purple when dissolved and is lowkey my favorite chemical

very strong oxidizing agent

one time i stained my hand purple through my glove with this shit idk how it happened

if made in specific solvents can look extremely similar to dragon's breath in minecraft imo

K4 as Octathio[8]circulene:

C16S8

also referred to as Sulflower (like sulfur and sunflower haha get it)

planar which is fairly uncommon for molecules of this size

can be stacked together to make sheets of sulflowers

Cube as Cubane:

C8H8

yeah this is self-explanatory

what is interesting though is that ring strain in 4 membered rings/squares is really high, so cubane existing is a bit of a chemical anomaly

i havent read into it enough to know for sure but i suspect that ring strain is why cubane is a precursor to a HELLA STRONG explosive compound

Reignex as PPTA:

Poly-p-paraphenylene terephthalamide

[-CO-C6H4-CO-NH-C6H4-NH-]n

the name is complicated as shit but this is just kevlar!

aka bulletproof vest material

looks fluffy when not woven completely together

aligning of polymer chains w hydrogen bonds creates EXTREMELY high tensile strength

Mime as Phenylmagnesium Bromide:

C6H5MgBr

a common grignard reagent aka a compound that can be used in a grignard reaction, an extremely important reaction in organic synthesis as it creates new C-C bonds

another fun fact about grignard reagents is that if water is added to them- or even if they're handled in particularly moist air- they fucking explode

extremely strong nucleophile and base

Poundcake as Xenon Hexafluoride:

XeF6

Noble gases don't react unless you REALLY make them

so a compound containing xenon is really interesting

colorless as a solid but sublimes (aka skips straight from solid to gas) into a bright yellow gas

fun fact a lot of instances where typical chemistry rules are broken (noble gases not reacting, octet rule in general, etc) involve fluorine to the point ive heard it referred to as a "batshit electron thief"

Fulham as Iron Hexacyanidoferrate:

C18Fe7N18

also known as prussian blue

extremely common pigment in paints and the first modern synthetic pigment

used extensively in The Great Wave

another one of my favorite molecules bc im biased and like inorganic chem aka things that contain metals

used as an antidote for heavy metal poisoning which is interesting bc it contains cyanide ligands!

Couriway as Bullvalene:

C10H10

in a state of constant resonance

aka the double bonds are CONSTANTLY shifting and reforming bullvalene into... itself but moved around a little

the bonds fluctuate so rapidly that in nmr analysis each carbon and hydrogen in the entire molecule is read as equivalent (for my non-chem people that's very uncommon and very cool)

formed through photolysis (aka using light/photons to fuel a reaction)

[polskapika]

Naming Aromatics !

[spacejax]

Resources that have helped me in my classes!

(will add to this list as I find/remember more)

Classes I've used these in so far:

Honors Mechanics

Honors Thermodynamics & Optics

Relativity & Quantum Mechanics

Theoretical Mechanics

Calculus I, II, III

Differential Equations

Mathematical Techniques in Physics

Introduction to Astronomy

Fundamentals of Astronomy

Astronomy & Astrophysics

- - - - Youtube Channels - - - -

Physics

Michel van Biezen - oh my god I love him. I think he uses Sears and Zemansky's University Physics for example problems. His channel has 10k videos (!!!) and is very well-organized. He also lectures on math (from 5th grade to linear algebra), chem & organic chemistry, and astronomy.

Calculus

The Organic Chemistry Tutor - I mostly watch his videos on Calculus I-III and Differential Equations, but he also covers physics and chemistry.

Nancypi - Precalculus, Calculus I, and some of Calculus II. I barely showed up to calc lectures my first semester so she was a great help. also i have a crush on her

Michel van Biezen - I usually don't watch his math videos because his notation and techniques are different from what my prof makes us use

Astronomy

Urknall, Weltall, und das Leben - my literal dream channel. perfect levels of dryness, and videos are usually at least 45 minutes long. It's entirely in German though lmao

Michel van Biezen - covers important topics in introductory astronomy, and also does example problems (although I think they're all algebra-based)

- - - - Textbooks - - - -

Introduction to Cosmology - Barbara Ryden

Foundations of Astrophysics - Ryden & Peterson

University Physics - Sears and Zemansky

Calculus - James Stewart

Modern Physics - Kenneth Krane

Classical Mechanics - John Taylor

- - - - Workbooks - - - -

Essential Modern Physics - Chris McMullen, Ph.d. ----- LIFE CHANGING. BUY THIS FOR INTRO TO QUANTUM.

[lavendervetstudies]

3.11.23 The semester started at full speed and hasn’t slowed down since! I’ve been taking Statistics and R Studio, Oral Communication, Black Queer Media and Literature, and Organic Chemistry II. Who knew that I would read a poc lesbian vampire historical-fiction novel for an academic class? It’s called the Gilda Stories by Jewelle Gomez and I’m definitely enjoying it so far.

🎼- Wildfire by Beach Weather

[er-cryptid]

[chemblrish]

Subatomic particles from a chemist's point of view - part II: the proton

[part I: the electron]

Proton

In my subjective opinion, the runner-up in this informal ranking of subatomic particles that are important in chemistry. Protons may not form chemical bonds like electrons do, but they still play an important role in many chemical reactions, especially in organic chemistry. But their most meaningful task that places them right below the electron on my list is this: they quite literally define the elements.

Atomic number

Let’s put our Mendeleev hats on and have a look at the periodic table. Here, I’ll upload it for you so you don’t have to google it:

It doesn’t take a genius to realize the elements are compiled in an orderly fashion rather than a random one. What is the property that generates this order? You could say mass – that the elements are arranged by their increasing mass – but that’s not quite true.  Sure, most of the time it is true, but there’s a handful of oddballs that refuse to fit this scheme. Argon and potassium, for example: argon has a mass of 39,948 u (units) while potassium has a slightly lower mass of 39,098 u. The difference isn’t big, but nevertheless if we want to arrange our elements by mass, we have to place potassium underneath neon and argon underneath sodium.

Obviously, we can’t do that. The cool thing about the periodic table is that there are several trends encoded in it, one of them being that the elements of any given group are usually fairly similar to each other. Group 18, where argon normally resides, is reserved for noble gases that are extremely chill and not eager to react (they might’ve taught you in school that noble gases never ever react with anything ever; THAT’S A LIE! But it is true that their chemistry is scant and their reactions rare). Potassium could never fit in with them. Fucker explodes in water the same way sodium does – which is yet another proof it belongs in the same group! Also, COOL EXPLOSION HERE!

This isn’t the only such strange pair in the periodic table: cobalt and nickel are like that too, and so are tellurium and iodine. It isn’t much – but it’s enough that we have to look for some other physical property to define the order of the elements. For some time, chemists and physicists had to accept this discrepancy (not that they were happy about it; I imagine they’d wake up at night drenched in sweat, screaming, “GODFORSAKEN ARGON!”). The atomic number, this sort of ordinal number that put every element in its place, was actually random, as in, not based on any known physical property. Yeah, potassium has an atomic number of 19, but why?

ENTER HENRY MOSELEY!

Henry Moseley conducted a series of experiments in which he zapped various elements with X-rays (I’m so jealous), then analyzed the resulting emission spectra. It turned out that the atomic number is proportional to the square root of the emitted radiation, which in turn depends on the proton count in the nucleus. This is what defines any given element: the number of protons it has. This is THE definition, the one you learn very early in your chemistry journey. The number of neutrons may vary among the atoms of the same element (because isotopes) and atoms can gain or lose electrons by becoming ions, but that doesn’t turn them into different elements. Only the number of protons is always constant for one and the same chemical element.

Organic chemists love protons too

And for more than one reason at that – because hoo boy, does a proton stir some shit in ochem!

My ochem lab instructor pointed to the mechanism I’d written on my lab report once and asked, “What does the acid do in this reaction?”. Very plainly I said, “It’s a source of protons which act as a catalyst,” to which he gave me his standard shit-eating grin and said, “They all are.”

And he wasn’t wrong! If you analyze a bunch of organic reaction mechanisms then you’ll see they very often begin with a proton (so H+) attaching itself to the substrate (or a lone electron pair on the substrate to be precise, because Coulomb force, right?) and thus initiating a chain reaction of sorts that leads, frequently through many infuriating steps, to the product. Take a look at the synthesis of aspirin, for example:

[via wikipedia]

You don’t need to understand everything that happens here. What matters is this first step I circled: a proton attaches itself to one of the substrates and starts the whole reaction.

The second reason I have in mind for why organic chemists love protons is NMR: nuclear magnetic resonance. NMR is a method of instrumental analysis and it’s cool as all fucks actually (as long as you don’t have to analyze the spectra because what the heck are those spikes), but this post is about protons, not NMR, so here’s the gist: you put your organic sample in the NMR spectrometer. The spectrometer drenches your sample in a magnetic field (which is probably why small dogs with metallic collars aren’t advised in an NMR lab). The spins of the protons in your sample (yes, protons have spin too!) go wooo! and align themselves in a specific manner. The computer connected to the spectrometer spits out a spectrum that tells you what your sample looks like.

Properties of the proton

Charge: positive one elementary electric charge, the exact opposite of an electron (how convenient!): +1.602×10^(−19) C

Mass: 1.673 × 10^(-27) kg – which is roughly 1837 times the mass of an electron. I want you to say, "Whoa, that's a lot!" right now because shit, it really is! And that's a great thing, because it gives us cool stuff like the Born-Oppenheimer approximation.

Radius: 0.841 fm (femtometers), but make no mistake: just like electrons, protons abide by the wave-particle duality, because they hate us all. I just remembered when my quantum chem professor told us during a lecture that even buckminsterfullerenes exhibit wave-particle duality. These are molecules made up of 60 carbon atoms. Sixty carbon atoms!! I almost cried, but I was sitting in the front, so I had to compose myself.

[faded-florals]

Hello! I am a newcomer to POTO, and was introduced 3 days ago by deciding to randomly watch the 25 RAH. I fell so in love with the 25st cast, but especially and everlastingly with Hadley Fraser as Raoul. It was a little disheartening for me to realise that it wasn't a popular opinion, and when I found your tumblr, it was like finding a kindred spirit and even a wise elder spirit that showed me all the nuances I missed before. I must have read and adored each one of your Raoul posts - thank you.

(My apologies for the delayed response, this time of year is always so busy for me, and I've fallen behind!)

Hello, thank you for sending such a kind and thoughtful message! 🥰 I love to hear about new Phans falling in love with POTO RAH and Hadley's Raoul, and I'm glad my posts have resonated with you. I feel I've analyzed pretty much every moment of his on-stage time in that production, both in writing and in gifs, and you've summarized my thoughts very well here.

I really like how there is a distinct shift in Hadley's Raoul from act I to act II, from speculative but ultimately unbothered to fiercely protective and frustrated, almost in parallel with how we the audience are made aware of the steadily increasing threat the Phantom is becoming. His Raoul is charming but genuine and sweet in his first few scenes, and I agree his mannerisms at the end of the show are quite different from the young man we were introduced to in Little Lotte. His lines in the final lair are soaked in desperation and anger, especially his "Let me see her!" and "Why make her lie to you to save me?"

It's important to remember that the staging/blocking for POTO RAH is very different from the original - I'd argue it's much more organically emotional for all three of the characters. While many of the changes were made out of necessity for how the RAH stage was set up, the impact of the altered staging to the scene is undeniable. Some examples being the Phantom holding Christine by the throat, the prolonged doomed trek that Raoul has to make across the stage to ultimately be caught in the lasso, and the visual of Christine climbing down and back up the stairs of the Phantom's "hell" one last time to say goodbye.

Combine that with the fact that Ramin, Sierra, and Hadley all have very high-strung interpretations of their characters to begin with, it doesn't surprise me that Hadley's Raoul culminated in practically lunging at the Phantom at the end of the final lair. I think a lot of it had to do with Ramin and Hadley's chemistry, too, and while it is very different from most productions I ultimately feel that it works.

I think the point I'm trying to make in all of this is that POTO RAH was a very special production, with a remarkable cast in a unique situation that has left a lasting impression on me and many Phans. I really love to hear how special this production and these actors are to you, thanks for reaching out! 💕

[susandsnell]

hey coco! hope ur having a good day! was wondering if u’d like to talk about why u like and what u find compelling with atton/exile? do u have a particular route or headcanon underwhich u prefer them or is it more of an overarching meta appreciation?

Hi, friend!

Thanks so much for the well-wishes. My day's kind of ehh due to continued Issues but the weather's nice and I'm feeling a little calmer. Hope your day is good!

Thank you so much for sending me this and enabling me shamelessly. I've been ride-or-die for Atton/Exile (which is M/F if you played the Jedi Exile as female, which I did and which is 'canon' but let's not talk about the latter lest we kick the hornet's nest) since summer 2011, which is almost 13 years now? Wild. Literally half my life. Anyhow, my reasons/headcanons have changed and evolved just as I've done a lot of growing up since the time I was first obsessed, but I'll do my best to synthesize/organize my thoughts! (Assume all the Restored Content is canon). More under the cut because 'synthesis' is still essay-length for me, God help me.

First off, I tended to play the Jedi Exile as light-sided and Revan as dark sided; I find the narrative of both games to be the most meaningful with these choices. This post basically puts into words why Revan works better as a Dark Sider, but the Exile, to me, as Revan's foil and mirror, works inversely best as a light sider. The game seems to want you to play her light-sided given how Kreia's best stuff/approval lies in that path. KOTOR II is one of the darkest entries to the Star Wars universe by far, but with a light sided exile, it's a story about how moving through life with an unyielding belief in love and justice for others in your heart will ignite that light in the people around you, and repair a broken world/galaxy.

Enter Atton.

KOTOR II is great in that you technically have such a wide range of shipping dynamics/options, and exactly none of them are functional, largely because it's one of the Star Wars media entries with the most harrowingly realistic depictions of war and its psychological impact on the people it touches. Atton Rand happened to be my favourite of all the love interests at the time because of his voice and his snarky meta-jokes (I was a Daria fanatic almost 2 decades too late, what do you want). Nowadays, I love him because his character basically took the Star Wars expanded universe requirement for Han Solo expys and went off the rails with it, making his 'scoundrel' archetype half-his charming and humorous personality, half-a facade to cover severe and quite realistically portrayed war PTSD as well as his actions as Jaq, the torture-happy mercenary. It's "what if the self-serving charming rogue during wartime archetype was brought to its logical conclusion" and I am here for it.

So first you have the parallels and contrasts - both committed atrocities during the Mandalorian wars, but while Atton was loyal to Revan after their fall and never faced justice for his wrongdoings, the (light-sided) Exile turned from Revan and still was scapegoated by the Council. Atton is a character mired in his own bitterness and cynicism, and you have the option to choose to play the Exile as a character driven solely by her morals, even when she'll suffer unconscionably for them, and it is through this unflinching clinging to her morals that she gains the idealism necessary to survive everything she goes through. Atton once sought to rip freewill away from his victims; the Exile unconsciously, slowly saps it through the cipher.

As a young teen, I admittedly was starry-eyed over the 'sheltered good girl manipulated and hurt by so many meets sexy bad boy recovering from his own past and they protect each other as a power couple' archetyping, but it does go a lot deeper than that. Their dialogue options have easy, natural, sexy chemistry that draws you in, but I do think my appreciation goes deeper. This isn't a simple 'fixing the bad boy' because of the narrative device of the Force cipher meaning you quite literally have "I can fix him" and "I can make him worse" as your game mechanics, lol. You get your surface-level fun of their interactions between the proper, well-mannered Jedi and the flirtatious rapscallion, but you also have two people who, for the reasons I outlined above, fundamentally understand each other after harrowing lifetimes spent alone in their pain and trauma.

I'd go so far as to say Atton is the best-placed of anyone to understand the Exile; the Sion ship is compelling and squee-worthy to any Phantom fangirl worth her salt (as I was), but she's everything he couldn't be or fathom, Visas may have felt closer to the pain the Exile did over Malachor V but her worst actions were committed under duress as a captive of Darth Nihilus and not of her own volition (so I argue she's a lot more morally innocent than Atton or the Exile), Mical/The Disciple is the innocence and warmth of the Exile's upbringing untouched by how the Mando wars reforged her and while Brianna/The Handmaiden is excellent as a potential parallel for specifically the Exile's abuse at the hands of the Jedi (Atris in particular), she's still similarly sheltered to Mical. Bao-Dur was with the Exile during the war but the game didn't develop him enough and understands that aspect of her, but they canonically per the dialogue emotionally distanced themselves given the circumstances, and Mira the Bounty Hunter is cool sister-zoned, but I suspect her family being victim to Malachor V would drive a wedge no matter how much forgiveness the game preaches.

Meanwhile, Atton knows and/or loves not pieces of the Exile, but as she is; the battered and betrayed veteran with a lifetime of wrongdoing to atone for that he recognizes in himself, and the naive Jedi she was before that the charming flirt in him likes to tease. And although his backstory is a revelation, and a harrowing one to the Exile, who sees what she might have become had she stayed with Revan, this is what their relationship is; seeing someone in their totality, and loving and honouring the worst with the best. Despite knowing what the Exile's done, Atton values her enough to still care about how she views him that he begs Kreia not to tell her the truth about his past. The two are instantly drawn to each other on Peragus, not just out of necessity but genuine, instinctive protectiveness, attraction, and a deeper sense (be it Force-Assisted or not) of understanding. Atton refers to it in his death scene (if you count that) as love at first sight, and while there was probably initial infatuation, I think there was just such an instant magnetism that grew and grew between them through shared experience. "Don't give up on me now, dammit!" and "You want her, you get through me." come to mind. Atton is the only party member that asks her to train him in the Force, whereas she has to prompt and convince the others into their awakening. He's deeply scarred by his experiences with the Force, not to mention it's actively dangerous to train as a Jedi due to the Exchange, but he's willing to face that for the Exile - he tells her that part of why he wants to train as a Jedi is to be better able to protect and fight for her. One of the first things he does is teach her to play Pazaak in her head to prevent from psychic attacks through the Force/harm through Kreia's force bond - the exact weapon he wielded against others. The tragedy of any Jedi Exile ship is the constant insecurity created by the force-wound/cipher; how much of anyone's choice to follow in their footsteps or love them is their own free will? What power dynamics, unspoken or obvious, arise from it? But Atton's fierce independence and selfishness almost serves as the clearest answer to this. He willingly reawakens himself to the Force to connect with her, to be better able to fight for her. He chose her, a thousand times over, and whatever role the Force Wound plays, he accepts her influence out of admiration for that steadfast-to-a-fault morality I talked about before.

This isn't some corny gender essentialist "she is his redemption" nonsense either, although redemption is a major theme of a light-sided KOTOR 2; by training Atton and others as a Jedi, the Exile is actively doing the work to heal the galaxy she helped to break. By protecting and teaching and bonding with the Exile, Atton is regaining his own humanity through recognizing hers, over and over, the way he failed to recognize those of his victims. They're together in this, in their recovery, in how they've experienced all extremes of morality. Love, in this story, isn't about fixing someone or breaking them, it's about meeting them where they are and walking alongside them, hopefully to someplace better than where you were when you both met. Is it any wonder that he's the one she walks away with in the end? (As if he'd let her walk alone ever again.)

With all this being said, and to address your question, while the route/headcanon preferences I prefer for Atton/Exile create, I think, the richest narrative with what's there, I've definitely got an overarching meta appreciation for them too. I spent my teen years eagerly eating up every possible iteration of them as a couple, and much of what I described above can hold true in a different aspect if people prefer to play them dark-sided, if people hold the tragic dying in your arms ending as canon, and so forth. They're compelling any way you slice them.