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maluminspace · 5 years ago

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Genre: Fluff/Post Apocalyptic

Pairings: Michael Clifford

Word Count: 2.8k

Requested: by @h0tsos for spooky!sos 2019

Trigger Warnings: end of the world/apocalypse/grief/disease

A/N: this took a while but I think it turned out okay? I’m fully intending on using this and the previous blurb as the basis for my first reader insert multichapter fic 🙈 I’d love to know your thoughts on that.

—

It’s been almost three months since you and Calum had found a scared, grieving Michael in a store cupboard during one of your routine supply runs.

A lot had changed in that time.

After being officially voted into your group, Michael had become an invaluable member of your tiny community. He always volunteers for every single task that needs to be completed around your base, no matter how tedious or unappealing it might be.

All-in-all, Michael’s selflessness, his kind sweet nature and his seemingly natural ability to make people laugh, has earned him a very quick and secure acceptance into the group.

Besides the obvious changes such as developing the farmhouse base, the biggest development within the last three months was your own growing infatuation with Michael.

It’s now getting to the point where you can’t be alone with him through fear of blurting out something that you can never take back.

Sometimes, you find yourself thinking that maybe Michael is developing feelings for you too. Like tonight at dinner; the two of you had shared a lingering touch when he’d passed you your plate of food and your conversation had been bordering on flirtatious whenever no one else seemed to be paying you any attention.

There are, of course, many reasons why you can’t give in to your urge for Michael. Romance, love, sex and all that went with them are considered a very low priority, these days. If the two of you started getting distracted from your various tasks it could literally mean that you endanger the lives of everyone in your group.

One of the biggest personal reasons why you’re reluctant to make a move, is Calum. Your best friend is finally starting to warm to Michael and you’re loathe to jeopardise their fragile new friendship. Calum needs someone else his age to connect with besides you and it actually turns out that he and Michael have a lot in common.

Once that the dishes have all been cleaned, the group gathers together in the large living room to discuss the schedule for the night patrols.

As soon as everyone’s settled, one of the older members of the group reminds everyone that a couple of corpses were sighted and disposed of last night after they’d become impaled on one of the perimeter defences.

You’re not surprised when your name is mentioned for tonight’s first watch. Your turn is due and you accept the responsibility without hesitation. As always, Calum is announced as your patrol buddy and you acknowledge your best friend with a smile before listening to the schedule for the rest of the night.

It makes you stupidly happy to hear that Michael will be one of the people taking the second watch. It means you’ll probably have a few minutes to chat with him during the shift change and little things like that are true highlights when the rest of your life is pretty much a total misery.

Michael seems to have a similar thought as he meets your gaze across the room, his cheeks turning a pretty rosy colour as he smiles over at you shyly.

It’s amazing to you how no one else seems to notice the chemistry between the two of you, but you’re sort of glad they haven’t. For now, at least, it’s your little secret.

...

The first half of your patrol turns out to be incredibly dull and uneventful.

The world beyond your little base seems even quieter than usual. Besides the odd field mouse and bat, you’d barely seen or heard another living creature besides Calum.

To top it all off, your best friend isn’t nearly as chatty as he usually is, either. There’s been some long stretches of silence between the two of you which is really odd. Most of your attempts at making conversation have fallen flat so you’d given up a while back, figuring that Calum just needs some time with his own thoughts.

Unsurprisingly most of your own thinking was about Michael. He’d probably be asleep in his tiny corner of the room he shared with three others. The thought of him curled up in his blankets, his soft blonde hair in disarray as he slept soundly made you smile to yourself.

After a moment the images in your mind of a sleeping Michael began to take a turn for the dirtier. Instead of the handsome blonde sleeping in his blankets, you start to imagine his pretty green eyes staring back at you as you lay down beside him.

Soon the silence in your head is broken by imaginary whimpers and gasps as the pictures in your mind turn to kissing Michael deeply, feeling his skin beneath your fingertips as you drag them over his back, craving every inch of him to be pressed against you.

Before your thoughts become too much for you to handle, you force yourself to attempt to begin another conversation with Calum. “Do you think the corpses know when it’s our turn for patrol?” You ask, peering through the darkness on the other side of the wire, outer perimeter fence. “We never seem to get any action...”

Calum rolls his eyes, pulling his black beanie hat lower over his ears. “You shouldn’t be complaining about that.” He reprimands, “we should be glad that there aren’t many corpses around, it means we’re safe for the time being.”

It’s true of course... you feel a bit guilty for complaining about your boredom. In the great scheme of things having no rotting heads to chop off means that you can be relatively content in the knowledge you’ll live to see another sunrise. It’s been proven to you on countless occasions since the world ended that surviving each night is never a given.

“I appreciate your eagerness to protect the base, though.” Calum smiles. Leading the way back to the inner fence. “Maybe you should come with me and Michael on our supply run in a couple of days.” He shrugs, “you’ve been cooped up in this place for a couple of weeks now. I thought you might be up for a little adventure.”

Just the mention of Michael’s name makes your tummy do a backflip but you manage to keep your response casual. “Yeah, I think I’m about ready to get back out there.”

Calum smiles, opening the heavy metal gate to let you both back inside the main grounds of your base. “Good, I’ve really missed having you around on those long walks.”

The affection in Calum’s voice warms your heart as you nudge his shoulder playfully. “You old sap.”

Your best friend gives a sigh of laughter before closing and locking the gate. “You know me...” He shrugs distractedly.

There’s something about Calum’s tone of voice and general demeanour that gives you the distinct feeling he’s hiding something from you. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you, Cal?” You ask gently, touching his shoulder to stop him from walking away. “You’ve just been acting a bit... off, tonight.”

For a moment it looks as though Calum’s about to confess something, taking a deep breath as he scratches the back of his neck nervously. He seems to think better of it though, disguising his nervous gesture as a stretch. “I’m just tired I guess...” He lies.

You’ve known Calum for too long not recognise the tell-tale signs of when he’s keeping something from you. As much as you want to question him further, the sound of crunching gravel draws your attention to the path leading from the main house.

Calum glances up, too, seemingly pleased by the interruption.

There’s no denying that the approaching figure is Michael. His distinct posture and the way he slightly scuffs his feet as he walks give him away instantly.

“He’s not due to take over yet.” Calum frowns. “Do you think something’s wrong?”

You shake your head in response. “I’m sure he’d be walking a lot faster than that if there was an emergency.” You said, hoping more than anything that you’re right.

Obviously still fearing that something was amiss, Calum strides off up the path towards the newest member of your group. You take off after him, eager to know Michael’s reasons for being out of the house this long before his watching duties are due to start.

“Everything okay?” Calum asks, a slight hint of panic in his low voice.

Michael nods as the two of you come to a stop in front of him. He does look slightly guilty, though, as he glances between your own face and Calum’s. “Everything’s fine...” he confirms. “I was just having trouble sleeping so I thought I’d come and see if you needed any help.”

Calum sighed with relief, obviously pleased that the base was in no immediate danger. “We’re good thanks.” He replies after a moment, “it’s pretty quiet tonight.”

You nod in agreement, blushing under Michael’s gaze as his eyes settle on you once more. “That’s good.” He says, “i guess I can take over then. If nothing’s happening, I should be fine on my own.”

“That’s against the rules.” Calum states sternly. “There always has to be at least two of us out here during night watches, you know that.”

Michael curls in on himself a bit. You’ve noticed him do this before, too. Anytime that someone’s tone is a little firm or if they raise their voice, Michael flinches or wraps his arms around himself. It makes you worried about what he’s had to go through in the past to cause this reaction.

“I know.” The blonde replies quietly, dropping his gaze to the ground. “I just thought I might be able to help, that’s all.”

Despite your curiosity about whatever has turned Calum into the bristly grump he’s become tonight, it seems evident that he isn’t willing to discuss it. Snapping at Michael unnecessarily only lessens your desire to spend more time with him. “Well you must be magic or something.” You smile kindly, touching Michael‘s upper arm. “Because Calum was just saying how tired he is. If you don’t mind spending a while with me, you can replace him for the last couple of hours.”

“I wouldn’t mind that at all.” Michael replies, his tone of voice and facial expression suddenly much brighter. “I’m happy to help.”

Calum looks a little taken aback when you return your gaze to him. “I guess you owe Michael a favour for letting you go to bed a couple of hours early.” You say, your tone a little clipped.

Your best friend shrugs, seemingly thinking better of arguing whatever point he might have. “Yeah, thanks.” He sighs, clapping Michael in the shoulder before shooting you a sad glance.

Seeing Calum’s cute face portray any kind of negative emotion always hurts your heart, even when he’s being a pain. There didn’t seem that much that you can do for him right now, though.

“You don’t owe me anything.” Michael adds quietly. “You deserve a little extra rest, Cal.”

Calum thanks Michael again before wishing you both goodnight and heading back towards the house.

Suddenly being a lone with Michael makes your body tingle with excitement. Even though nothing can happen between the two of you, it doesn’t stop parts of you from imagining his fingers and lips on your skin...

To distract yourself from the dangerous thoughts, you blur out the first thing that comes to mind as you watch your best friend disappear into the house. “He’s been acting a little odd tonight.” You sigh thoughtfully. “Have you noticed anything weird about him today?”

Michael has a sort of guilty expression on his face as he shrugs. “I don’t really wanna speak out of turn or anything...”

Turning your gaze back to Michael, you raise an eyebrow. “Is something going on with him?” You ask, trying to keep the concern in your voice at an acceptable level.

Michael looks more than a little nervous and embarrassed as he replies. “Umm... maybe you should talk to him about it? I don’t want to jump to conclusions.”

“He’s my best friend, Mike.” You insist. “If he’s in some sort of trouble or...”

Michael holds up his hands in sort of a surrendering gesture. “I don’t think it’s anything bad!” He continues, “I just don’t want to spark any gossip if it’s nothing.”

“If what’s nothing?” You ask, subconsciously taking Michael’s hand. “Please tell me, Mike.”

Michael’s pretty green eyes widen in shock as they drift to where you’re touching him. “I-I saw him and Ellie, in the barn earlier... They sort of jumped apart when I walked in, it felt like I was interrupting something.”

Relief floods through you even though you’re a little hurt that Calum hasn’t told you about his new romantic interest. “The dirty little...” you chuckle, “he better tell me all about it soon. I miss gossiping with him about dates and secret flings.”

You unintentionally meet Michael’s gaze and your face is much closer to his than you thought it was. Your mouth feels dry as you concentrate on the feeling of his hand in yours. “Not that I’d have much to to tell him...” you whisper.

There’s a moment during in which you’re tempted to close the distance between your own lips and his. The scary thing is, Michael drifts forwards a little as though he’s contemplating the same thing.

Summoning every bit of self control you have, you let go of Michael’s hand and take a step back.

“So where’s left to check?” Michael asks, anxiously shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he buries his hands in his pockets.

“We’ve already checked the outer perimeter fence all the way around.” You explain, trying to recover from the rush of emotions caused by the near-kiss. “We just need to keep a look out now, really.”

Michael nods, allowing you to lead the way to the viewing deck that your group had built behind the inner fence. “Sounds good, I’ll do another check of the fences when Sammy joins me later for my official shift.”

You lead the way up the ladder to the viewing deck. The make-shift half walls around the deck form a sort of railing for you to lean on whilst you survey the nearby surroundings.

The sound of Michael’s heavy footsteps on the wooden floor alerts you to his arrival and you smile awkwardly at him as you use the binoculars to check a little further afield.

“Did you mean what you said back there?” Michael asks, his soft voice sounding unnaturally loud in the silence of the night. “Y’know, about having nothing to gossip with Calum about? You’re really not like, secretly seeing someone?”

Shaking your head, you try to keep your attention on the job at hand. Accepting Michael’s help and sending Calum away was a reckless thing for you to do, given your current infatuation with the blonde. “I’m not...” you reply simply.

“Is that because you’re not interested in anyone, or because you’re sacred that they don’t feel the same way back?” Michael asks tentatively.

You take a deep breath and turn to face him. He looks too pretty in the soft moonlight and your voice comes out much softer than you intended it to. “I could ask you the same question.” You counter, channeling all of your remaining energy into not giving in to your urges.

“I deserved that.” Michael chuckles quietly. “I’ll answer if you do?”

He steps closer to you, something like hope burning in his eyes as he bites his bottom lip between his teeth.

You’re determined not be caught out on this and so you fix him with the most confident glare that you can. “You go first, then.”

“Fine.” Michael concedes, somehow managing to hold your gaze although his fingers are trembling when he lays them over yours on the barrier. “I’m very interested in someone.” He mumbles, “sometimes I think they’re into me, too. I’m just worried that I’m misreading their signals, though and the last thing I want to do is overstep a boundary.”

Michael’s face has somehow drifted closer to yours whilst he was speaking and you almost feel his breath on your lips. “There’s only one way to find out, if they feel the same way isn’t there?” You reply. “You need to ask them.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do right now.” Michael replies, his cheeks a burning crimson as he curls his fingers tighter around yours. “I’m just not very good with words.”

Your heart feels as though it’s desperately trying to escape your rib cage. It’s no secret that you’re not good with words either and you don’t want to ruin this moment. There’s only really one option left open to you and you choose to take it. Finally giving into your screaming inner voice, you lean forward, connecting your lips to Michael’s in a soft kiss.

As he kisses back, the blonde man relaxes, lifting up his free hand to cradle your cheek until you eventually pull apart for air. “Is that a good enough answer for you?” You ask, a slight smile curling your lips.

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 5 years ago

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Michael in the Mainstream: Frozen II

Disney and sequels tend not to mix well. For every decent sequel like Aladdin and the King of Thieves, Lion King 2, and The Rescuers Down Under, we get afflicted with a cinematic venereal disease like Mulan 2, Milo’s Return, or Ralph Breaks the Internet. Going into Frozen II, I really had no expectations whatsoever. Sure, the trailers looked good, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s to never trust a trailer.

I probably shouldn’t have worried though, because 2019 has proven to be pretty kind to sequels to Disney properties. This movie was not only fantastic, but I’d go as far as to say it was better than the first one.

A lot of this has to do with the improved characterizations. Elsa in particular is so much stronger in this film; with the groundwork laid in the first film, Elsa has become a headstrong, adventurous woman who is desperately looking for a place she truly belongs. Anna is still as perky as ever, and is supportive of her sister to the point she outright refuses to have her go through her trials alone. In short, they have the dynamic Ralph and Vanellope should have had in their sequel. The most amusing characterization update, however, is Olaf, who in this movie has become introspective and philosophical, constantly pondering his place in the world. He also re-enacts the first movie, and it is hilarious; frankly, Olaf is just way funnier in this film.

Of course, the characterization bus seems to have missed Kristoff entirely. The poor guy is relegated to a joke where he constantly tries (and fails) to propose, which features multiple points where Anna misconstrues what he’s saying as an insult. It gets to a point where it’s honestly kind of mean-spirited, and he ends up having more chemistry with a newly introduced reindeer herding guy than his own girlfriend. When freaking Pabbie the troll has better characterization and a more important role in the plot despite being in one scene it’s almost a mercy that they write poor Kristoff out of the movie for forty minutes, with him only returning at the climax.

To the movie’s eternal credit, though, they write Kristoff out in the most epic way possible: by giving him an 80s-style power ballad about how he’s lost in the woods without Anna and her love, complete with reindeer backup singers. It’s even more notable because this makes it the only sincere power ballad ever written. While this is easily my favorite song in the film, the rest of the soundtrack is pretty great, and is probably more solid than the first film’s, with no lows as notable as “Fixer-Upper” or “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” When the ‘worst’ song on the soundtrack is an Olaf song that is just okay, you’re in good hands. This time around Idina Menzel gets not one but two epic ballads this time, with “Into the Unknown” as the clear successor to “Let It Go;” it even has an awful cover version that plays over the credits! I honestly find it a bit better than “Let It Go,” as Elsa sticks with the themes of song throughout the film.

The animation in this film is absolutely stunning. One need only look at the “Into the Unknown” and “Show Yourself” sequences to have your breath taken away. It goes a long way towards making up for that terrible Lion King remake earlier this year. It looks so much more polished and pretty than the previous film, and there are plenty more interesting visuals. Setting the story in the fall was definitely a smart move. Special mention goes to the elemental spirits, who all look fantastic, though nothing really tops the “Show Yourself” sequence.

The story is a bit complicated and gets into a lot of worldbuilding, sometimes cramming in a lot of stuff at once, but overall it’s a solid plot that feels like a natural extension of the first film. Best of all: Elsa does not get a romance arc. Once again the story focuses on the bond between her and Anna, There’s not really a twist villain, no forced romance, and any snarking that occurs is in regards to moments from the first film. While there are a few issues, especially considering it dumps so much on us and underutilized the cool new characters it introduces, it’s an overall solid and enjoyable storyline that builds off of what came before it.

This is what really cements it in my mind as a good film. Unlike other recent Disney sequels like The Last Jedi and Ralph Breaks the Internet, Frozen II feels like it expands the world and themes of the first film in new and interesting ways, building off what was already there rather than scrapping everything and trying to start with a clean slate on the second film of a franchise. It honestly has a lot in common with Ralph Breaks the Internet, right down to a similar ending, but where that film failed due to being instantly dated and pandering, this film soars by being emotionally resonant and timeless to a degree. If you liked the first film, you’re definitely going to love this one.

This film really feels conclusive and final; all the characters have pretty definitive endings to their character arcs, and everything has wrapped up in a satisfying way. I’m sure that Disney will try and force the directors to churn out more Frozen content, and if they did maybe shorts or a show based around the new characters it could work well. The world of Frozen may not be going away anytime soon, but I think this is the end of Anna and Elsa’s story, and honestly? I’m okay with that.

#Michael in the Mainstream #review #movie review #Frozen #Frozen II #Elsa #Anna #idina menzel #disney #animation #animated movie #musical

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froggybaek · 6 years ago

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healing - seo changbin

♛➩ genre: angst, mega fluff, a dash of suggestiveish content that lasts for .5 seconds, single dad!au

♛➩ pairing: fem!reader x changbin

♛➩ warnings: mentions of death, disease

♛➩ summary: you’ve known seo changbin since your high school years. back then, he was surrounded by proud teachers, parents, classmates, and a wonderful girlfriend; now, he only has his little bundle of joy, a cousin from australia who barely knows how to manage a microwave, and you.

♛➩ word count: 9.2k

Seo Changbin has always been an enigma.

While you hadn’t been as lucky as others in being able to claim that you had known the mysterious boy since your elementary school days, you were able to make it known to the few friends you had that you got to witness his heydays; namely the four year period of high school.

You had been in the same year as Changbin, hell you happened to share a couple of classes over those four years with him. Anytime you needed to interact with him, more so assigned projects and less actual friendship related endeavors, you would find yourself stunned with his sheer intellect and determination to get an assignment done with the highest marks possible. If it hadn’t been for his endearing persistence in your music theory class - well, you probably would’ve been gifted with a big, fat F on your final report card before graduation.

However, Seo Changbin was not only remarkably intelligent; he was also incredibly friendly and helpful to just about everyone. Some folks with sour expressions and singed hearts tried to put down his accomplishments and overwhelming popularity, making rumors that he only acted so kind because it would literally be his job in the future. Obviously they might have held a teaspoon of truth to their stingy words, but it was even more obvious that Changbin was just a good person in general.

He liked to volunteer in his very, very thin amount of spare time; there wasn’t one set space for him to go, he just kind of showed up - everywhere. One time, you had spotted him volunteering at an animal shelter, cooing at a three-legged dog while he cradled a malnourished looking kitten in his arms. Another occasion you’d seen him volunteering was after you’d visited your grandfather at the retirement center, only to enter the common area and watch with a warm smile as Changbin danced with a pair of graying women, who had been giggling like young schoolgirls.

So, that was one spectrum of the boy that most everyone knew about. Some claimed that he had to have a sort of photographic memory, since he apparently didn’t need to study all that much to ace his hardest classes; which included the terrifying likes of anatomy and advanced placement chemistry. Those who said that he didn’t study much tended to trail off and make small talk of how they thought he did producing of all things on the side. While you knew the dark haired boy had an augmented creative side, you also knew very well that anyone aspiring to become a medical student had to focus mostly on their coursework - even if they had an impeccably large IQ.

You figured that was why he was so kind, even during the most stressful weeks of school. After all, committing your future career to become a nurse or a doctor was a difficult task that would likely lead someone to deal with even more difficult people. He would have to train himself to be patient and understanding, right?

Well, you wouldn't know. For one, you weren't all too close with him to make any sort of claim about either him or his dreams. Secondly, you were veering a great distance away from anything related to the field of medicine - you just wanted a simple job that involved kids.

That isn't to say you wanted kids of your own anytime soon, you just happened to get along with the vast majority of them quite easily, and they were entertaining in themselves. Surely a teaching career wouldn't be too far off the mark.

In any case, it was easy to say that you and Changbin were miles apart - from what little you knew about him, that is.

And that gap was only made larger not even a few months after your graduation.

“Morning babe.” Mark Lee hummed as he walked into the classroom, or studio, for lack of a better term. The brunette boy carried not only his giant backpack that was filled to the brim with textbooks and art supplies, but also a handful of snacks and two cups of - honestly you weren't sure. He tended to randomly pick and choose the drinks you would share during art class, so you could never be too sure what the next beverage could be.

You offer your friend a small wave of greeting, holding a hand out to grab the black reusable bag and one of the drinks from his trembling hands while he struggled to sit down in the chair next to yours. “Good morning, glasses.”

He whined at your choice nickname for him - all the while pushing his wide glasses farther up the frame of his nose. “I - will ignore your crude and very unimaginative nickname for once, because I have some tea to spill-”

“Please, for my sanity and your own, never say that out loud again.” You murmur in a monotone voice, bringing the lid of the cup up to your lips and taking a quick sip.

Hmm... hot chocolate with marshmallows. Delicious.

“- as I was saying until I was rudely interrupted,” he continued without missing a beat, though you happened to catch how he beamed gleefully at your small thumbs up to thank him for the hot chocolate, “do you remember Seo Changbin from school? You know, the kid that got like, three scholarships to colleges in America?”

“Yeah, I remember him. Why?”

Mark plops down in his seat, rustling in his bag to dig out his art supplies before the bell rang. “I found out from Lucas that his girlfriend got pregnant maybe two or three months before our finals. She gave birth to their kid about a week ago and she uh -...” He trails off quietly, too quietly for your liking.

“What? Mark, I didn't catch that last part.”

He gulps and looks up from the depths of his heavy backpack, nervously nibbling on his bottom lip before he meets your confused gaze.

“She died during the delivery.”

————————————————————————

Finding out that someone you knew had passed away was never fun. Even if you barely knew them, just remembering that they had at some point been part of your life - that was enough to have you slumped over in your seat for the next few days in each and every class.

She had been bright and always so full of life, as much as a high school student could be, anyway. The girl had her life planned ahead for the next ten years, from schools, to parties, even to when she would get married; and she had wanted so desperately to marry Seo Changbin.

While no one had expected the pair to actually stay together for the past three years of life, they had stuck to it as best as they possibly could for a young, naïve couple. Sure, they did have their ups and downs, like the time where she and Changbin argued in the middle of lunch about how he forgot one of their date nights; but then again, what was a relationship if there weren't a few mishaps here and there?

Around the middle of senior year, rumors had started to spread like wildfire around the school. People were speculating if Changbin would go off to America for his studies and leave his girlfriend behind, or if he would stay at home in South Korea just to be with her. Others, the more pessimistic ones to say the least, pondered crudely if he would dump her and leave without another word to the foreign country for their schools.

From what Mark had told you, Changbin had been planning to stay with his girlfriend - in a long distance relationship, that is. She hadn't been too thrilled with the idea of him going alone with no “evidence,” so to speak, of their being in love. Apparently she had actually been getting ready to propose to him instead of the more common, traditional route.

She never got to propose.

Instead, she had fallen pregnant with his child unexpectedly. She had begged Changbin to stay so they both could be real parents to their child, and he had quietly agreed. By then, they had started to fall out of love, even with their unborn child resting in her belly for nine months.

And then... then she had died, leaving their newborn baby girl in the arms of a now lonely Seo Changbin.

After you figured you had somewhat recovered from the shocking news, just about two weeks later, you’d debated on personally calling or messaging the man to express your condolences. For hours you sat in the rickety chair that rested in front of your desk, staring blankly at the screen of your laptop. For hours your gaze flickered back and forth between the text box that indicated you wanted to message the man and the now empty profile of his social medias.

Once the fourth hour had passed, you gave up and stood up, stretching before you went to shut your laptop - then you thought about how you would feel in his situation.

You would wish for anyone to express their condolences, right?

Wouldn't you want to know that someone else cared, that someone else was there for you?

Then, still standing in quite the strange, hunched over position, you reopened your silver laptop and typed the first words that came to mind.

‘She was a wonderful person, you know. She would be so glad that your baby is safe with her father.’

————————————————————————

“I’m sorry, you did what now?”

“I said that I - well um, funny story, actually! I might have, possibly, maybe, perhaps... let Chenle and Jisung monitor the toddlers?”

You let out a deep sigh of pure disbelief, running a hand through your hair before you ended up losing what little sanity you could possibly have left after such a long day of work. “So... you're telling me that you let the two youngest volunteers, who are practically toddlers themselves, watch over our own toddlers all alone for the past hour?”

The brunette shifting on his feet in front of you nodded quickly, offering a nervous yet cheerful smile as if it could magically make you forgiven his less than intelligent decision.

“Mark, I know that they’re your friends and you trust them dearly, but as volunteers they aren’t allowed to be by themselves with any of the kids under eight years old.” You explained to your coworker and friend, feeling a drop of guilt when his lips turned into a classic pout and his eyes drooped from his scolding. “I won’t tell Jongdae this time, okay? Just go watch over those two and I’ll handle the front desk for you.”

He glances up at you from where he’d been staring sadly at the carpeted floor, his shining brown gaze brightening up again at your soft words. “R-really? You would take over my spot just so I don’t get in trouble?”

“You’ve covered for me god knows how many times, dude. Don’t worry about it. I’d supervise the little demons myself, but I kind of want to get some homework done while I can.” You admit with a careless shrug, moving forward to playfully ruffle his already messy brown hair. “Hurry up before he gets back and sees whatever mess they’ve probably made.”

The boy (well, technically “man,” but you couldn’t really see him as one since you were the same age and still mostly acted like willy teenagers) practically bounces on the heels of his feet, all the while showing you his undying appreciation by vigorously spurting out soft thank-you’s.

Once he shuts the white, wooden door painted with a daft excuse of a sunflower behind him and enters the toddler room, you walk over to the front desk of the daycare and slump over in the rolling chair. The material is a bit worn and not too comfortable, but it would suffice for the next couple of hours while you worked on some sociology homework that might have been a few days late.

Since it is only the middle of the day, just half an hour past lunchtime, you weren’t really expecting anyone to walk into the daycare. When the dingy bell hung above the front door let out an all too familiar, but also unexpected sound, you nearly jumped out of your skin in surprise.

Now stood in front of the front desk, just a good two feet away from you, stands a man who looks a tad familiar. His entire ensemble reminds you of a middle schooler who just found out about Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco, which probably would've made you snort in amusement at any other moment.

But this man - if he was one, since he looked eerily young, somewhat similar to how you viewed Mark Lee, pulled off the all black look perfectly. His black undershirt had an odd white signa, likely belonging to a business or brand, stitched into the presumed cotton material. The man wore worn, ink colored jeans that were somewhat baggy around his legs, but not sleazily slouched; and his undershirt was tucked into the waistband, too.

Clutching onto his leather jacket, which was also, unsurprisingly, a dark black hue, was a baby. No, not a toddler or a clingy child, but a baby who couldn’t be more than a few months old - not with how small and chubby its fingers were, and certainly not with how the poor man had dribbles of what looked like milk running down the shoulder of his jacket.

“Um - hi,” you breathe out after an awkward moment of silence, offering the tired looking man a warm smile, “how can I help you?”

“I - I was wondering if-” his words are cut off by a loud wail from the baby in his arms. Squirming about with the little tot, he clearly struggles to try and calm it down, hissing in pain when it gums on one of his fingers. “Shit - no, I mean shoot - do you guys w-watch over babies?”

The raven haired man continues to try and calm the baby down, but to no avail.

“We do, don't worry... not to pry, but are you - are you a new father?” The question slips past your lips before you can overthink them, as you usually do, according to most of your friends and coworkers. When he only nods in reply, you can’t help but chuckle softly under your breath.

The rolling chair slides backwards as you push yourself up from the bottom cushion, making an insignificant ‘thump’ against the back shelving unit. You walk out from behind the desk and end up right next to the panicking father, lips curled into a sweet smile. “Can I try something?”

He glances wearily between you and his crying baby, which did make you wonder what had to be going through his head if he was so hesitant to entrust his little one with a stranger even though he had first come inside just to make sure your center also took in babies.

“... sure, go ahead.” The stranger eventually caved and gave in, carefully handing off his precious little bundle of joy off to your waiting arms.

You’d handled babies countless times since you were the one in charge of them most of the time in the daycare, not to mention when you were younger you babysat the little ones quite often. So, handling this cute, wide-eyed baby was nothing foreign to you. Gently curling it up into the crook of your arms, you swayed back and forth like a ship at sea being swaddled by gentle ocean waves.

In no time at all, the baby had calmed down, its previous wailing cries now replaced by adorable cooing. “Boy or girl?” You ask the man quietly, still grinning warmly as your gaze met that of his baby’s.

“She’s a girl - her name is Eden.”

One of your eyebrows shoots up in surprise at the name, as it wasn’t natively Korean in any sense of the word. Seeing your interested and confused expression, the man rubs one of his arms and continues, “my cousin helped me name her. He’s Australian, so he kinda only gave me English names.”

“What about her mother? Did the missus not have any say in this matter?” You tease the stranger, looking over to him, expecting to see a flushed or embarrassed grimace on his tired features.

Yet, all you see is grief.

“Eden’s mother... she died giving birth to her.”

“I - I’m so sorry, sir,” you murmur sympathetically, furrowing your eyebrows at how strange it is to know of two cases such as his own in just the span of half a year, “I... well I wasn’t close to the mother or father, but I knew of a girl who died during childbirth as well. It’s absolutely awful.”

“Damn, I knew I looked different, but I didn't think it was that bad.” He snorts dryly, his deep brown eyes flickering all across your face.

Confusion etches itself across your features. “I’m sorry?”

“It’s me, Changbin. We uh, went to the same high school,” he explains to you, watching closely as your lips fall open into a surprised ‘oh’ shape, “you sent me a message ages ago, saying that... that she’d be happy since Eden still has her dad.”

He was right - he really had changed. Physically, that is.

When he walked in, you hadn't even been able to recognize the boy who just graduated along with the rest of your class a mere eight months ago. You were so used to his freshly shaven face and smooth, shining skin with full cheeks that reminded you of a junior named Han Jisung. Back then, he had short, black hair that was in an undercut, perfectly framing his face.

Now, Changbin had stubble that only added on to his tired persona, complimenting the faded purple bags sunken under his once bright, gleeful eyes. His cheeks, once round and full like a squirrel’s, were sharp and somehow sunken at the same time.

“Thank you, by the way,” Changbin muttered, “for the message. I mostly got half-assed texts saying they were sorry for my loss. Yeah, they meant well, but - no one besides you said anything about Eden only having me.”

“She’s very lucky you know,” you begin to reply, glancing back down at the baby girl staring up at you innocently, “to have someone like you as her father.”

“Someone... like me?”

You nod at his questioning, almost conflicted tone of voice. “Of course. From what I remember, the Seo Changbin I sort of knew in high school was so intelligent that he had over seven offers from universities around the world, just for medical school. He also volunteered, like, everywhere and made it his job to make sure everyone he met was happy.”

His eyebrows furrow as if he was in deep thought, clearly contemplating your kind, comforting words.

“I’m afraid to say it, but that side of me died a long time ago.” He replies shortly, coldly, leaving you no possible way to continue to conversation without it becoming awkward.

What had happened to him?

————————————————————————

Daycares were naturally very, very loud settings. You knew that, Mark knew that, just about everyone understood that single factor when signing up to work at the decently sized childcare center just down the street of the local elementary school.

That didn't mean that you were used to it, though.

“Eden? Eden - sweetie, we don’t eat crayons.” You exhale tiredly through your nose as you pick up the brunette haired girl in your arms once again, pushing aside the twinge of guilt that strikes your heart when she lets out a pitiful whine.

It was like she knew that she was your favorite of the bunch, always whining whenever you lightly scolded her for her wrongdoings. She was only a year and three months old, but she wasn’t lacking in the intellect department by any means. If anything, she had the mind of a two or three year old toddler, constantly testing your patience to see how far you would let her go.

Whilst you carry the girl in your arms, gently hoisting her up so her rounded chin rested on your shoulder, you could faintly hear Chenle and Jisung crying out over the most recent mess in the art room. From what Jaemin had told you, Eden had literally led a pack of older children into said art room and somehow found it in herself to convince them to paint - but not on the papers laid out appropriately on the desks, no; rather, they painted on the floor and the walls.

One of the older children, a six year old called Eunwoo, had promptly explained that Eden’s babbled words were law to them. She had pointed to the paint sets, then the walls, and let out a cute giggle followed by incoherent noises of pure joy. To them, that meant ‘paint everything you can!’

How her dad never gave into her oh so persuasive babbles, you would never know - simply because you occasionally fell for them, too.

“So she’s resorted to trying to snack on blue and green crayons, huh?”

Speak of the devil.

“She sure has. She has also become the leader of the other kids, according to my knowledge.” You laugh in an exhausted amusement, smiling tiredly as you turn to face Changbin himself.

He looked as utterly exhausted as you felt, truly. Not that you particularly blamed the man, since he had just arrived back from working at the mechanics shop, which was already a good hour drive away from the daycare center. And just this morning, he had to make a run to another part-time job he had at the gas station closest to the middle school a few blocks away.

To put it simply, he overworked himself, constantly. While his cousin’s parents from Australia did their best to send him checks every now and then, they did still have their own family to take care of - and neither his parents or the grandparents of Eden felt the need to support him.

It was awful and cruel, in your honest opinion; how both families treated their son and granddaughter, like they were sticks in the mud. Changbin’s parents claimed that he disappointed them the second they found out he was going to drop out of any scholarship opportunities to raise Eden, and truth be told her mother’s own parents were too stricken with grief to even look at her.

Since he had no time at all to actually go to school, Changbin ended up taking three different jobs all at once just so he could support his little ball of sunshine. Anyone could see the mental exhaustion that seemed to just radiate off of him most of the time - well, except when he was with his daughter.

Whenever he was able to have time with her, its like he had the whole world in the palms of his hands. Changbin would give up everything for Eden with no hesitation, even his own dignity and respect.

“Alright sunshine, you need to say sorry to Miss Y/N,” Changbin cooed to his little girl as he scooped her up carefully from your grasp, his previously cold, almost haunting gaze switching into one of warmth and pure love, “come on baby, say sorry.”

Eden parted her lips, and for a split second the two of you shared a look of excitement - would she finally say her first word?

Then a bit of drool dribbled down her chin, not a single word or even a babble to show that she had heard her father’s encouraging plights.

“Ah, f-fudge... totally not a bad word. Nope.” Changbin nearly missed cursing, having sheepishly caught sight of your narrowed eyes when he stuttered on the dreaded ‘f-word.’

“Once she starts picking up on the things you say - and almost say, Eden will only repeat whatever her dear dad says,” you hum knowingly as you scooch closer to the pair, gently wiping the drool off of the brunette baby’s chin, “hey, isn’t her doctor’s appointment today? Or am I confusing it with next Monday?”

The man in question is about to reply when you unconsciously use the dainty yellow tissue just on his daughter’s chin to wipe off the string of drool that had fallen onto his stained blue shirt. When he doesn’t respond for a moment, you tilt your head up and quickly recognize the faint flush to his cheeks.

You should probably move your hands off of his chest - which... was pretty broad; snap out of it!

Without a word you step back, nearly stumbling in your sudden moment of sheer embarrassment. As if he too had snapped out of his stunned daze, Changbin clears his throat and nods. “I - erm, yeah no; it’s today. I have to take her home and give us both a quick bath before we go, though.”

You nod your head, willing your cheeks to not flush a deep red color as he talks. Why in the world has he suddenly gotten you so flustered and riled up?

“Hopefully it’s just an ear infection and nothing too serious,” he added, “I really don’t know if I can handle more bills, you know?”

Eden wriggles in his arms, slowly becoming restless. He leans down and softly kisses her button-nose, a cute action that always resulted with the baby giggling and grasping at her father’s cheeks.

“I doubt it is anything serious, Changbin. Don’t forget, a lot of the kids tend to get some sort of pesky infection this time of year.” You try to reassure the worried, tense man, offering him a gentle smile when he glances back up from his daughter to you.

He pauses for a second, digesting your reassuring words before he mimics your small smile, a sight that was rare to see from the normally stoic man. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I guess it’s just the first time jitters, then.” Changbin chuckles softly, readjusting his now yawning child so she could rest her puffy face in the crook of his neck.

“Call m- I mean, call the front desk if she does have an infection, please. We want to keep everything extra sanitized if any of the kids get sick.”

Nice save.

His chapped lips twitch into a hint of an amused smirk upon catching wind of your stammer, but he doesn’t call you out on it; thankfully enough. “I will, don’t worry Y/N. Hopefully both of us will see you tomorrow.” He hums, using his fingers to guide Eden’s hand into making a tiny wave before they leave, the glass door swinging shut behind them.

————————————————————————

Two weeks have passed since then with no call from Changbin. You were a bit worried, to say the least, constantly waiting at the front desk for the call that should have gone through days ago. Your co-workers kept insisting that it was no big deal, that maybe she was sicker than believed and had to stay home while she recovered.

“Think about it, Y/N - he’s still pretty new at this whole dad thing. He probably got so worked up about making sure Eden is recovering well enough that he just... forgot to call.”

That was what Mark had said, but you just couldn’t shake this awful gut feeling stirring in your stomach; something felt wrong. You hoped dearly that you were wrong, obviously. You hoped and hoped and hoped that Changbin and Eden were just fine, maybe taking time off if she was, in fact, sick, or perhaps her dotting dad had randomly taken them off on a trip for whatever reason. While the former was less likely considering his financial issues, it was all your fried brain could possibly think of.

On the fourteenth day of playing the waiting game, you just about caved and looked into the records so you could potentially call Changbin yourself - but then the phone rings, startling you so much that you nearly toppled out of the rolling chair you’d been sat in the past three hours.

You lunge to the blue phone, though you don’t answer it until you manage to properly compose yourself - you didn’t know who the caller was, but you didn’t want said caller to hear your hitched breath and voice tainted with worry.

With another deep breath, you recollect yourself and bring the phone up to your ear. “H-hello, this is Chen’s Daycare Center! How may I help you?”

“Uh, is Y/N working today?” An unfamiliar voice rings out in the speaker, causing you to quirk an eyebrow, since it sounded a bit younger than you expected - and pretty damn deep, too. “I’m Seo Changbin’s cousin, he’s Seo Eden’s dad. This is kind of important.”

“Actually, I’m Y/N - you’re Felix, right? Changbin has mentioned you before.”

The boy breathes out in what sounds like relief on the other line. “Yeah, that’s me! I don’t really have a lot of time, sorry, but there’s something... well, not wrong, but - ah fuck, I’m so bad at this,” Felix huffs, pausing to collect the words he needed to say, “basically, Eden is sick. I’m watching her right now while Bin is working, and no one else will pick up their fucking phone. Could you maybe come by his apartment, please?”

Eden is sick.

Changbin left his cousin home alone to watch Eden - while she’s sick.

Eden is sick.

You would really have to pay Jaemin and Mark back after today. “Of course! What’s the address?”

————————————————————————

You couldn’t believe that you were standing right outside of Seo Changbin’s apartment. You couldn’t comprehend that you, of all people, were knocking on the front door, snorting in amusement at the deep accented voice of his own cousin calling out with a, “just a second!”

In the corner of your wandering gaze, you smile to yourself at the sight of colorful chalk strewn onto the concrete wall of the hallway on the second floor. It was evident that Eden had drawn the pastel pink and royal blue flower and sharp green grass, and it was even more obvious by the straighter, less messy lines of the bright yellow sun and poofy white clouds that her dad had drawn that section of the cute little portrait.

Eden, unlike the other rather mischievous kids at the daycare center, preferred to messily draw on the walls instead of the floor. This quirky little trait even transpired at home, as well.

You turn back to the front door when it finally swings open, revealing a boy who couldn’t have been a year older than you or Changbin. Felix - yes, that was his name, if you remembered correctly.

Even though he was a tad bit sweaty and clearly out of breath, Felix’s ginger hair with slightly darker brown roots was somehow swept into a perfect swoop, his freckled cheeks a little flushed and red.

How adorable.

“H-hi, you must be Y/N,” he breathed out a warm greeting, not hesitating to let you wander inside the apartment before he quietly closed and locked the front door behind you, “uh, b-before you do anything, I should exp-”

“Eden!” You hum in pure joy as you walk over to where the curly haired girl was sat on a wool carpet, her back facing you. You hadn’t meant to interrupt the poor boy, but going a solid two weeks without seeing the little tyke had deprived you more than you thought possible. “Hey sweetheart, it’s Miss Y/N!”

She didn’t turn at the sound of your voice.

Not wanting to startle her too much, figuring she just hadn’t been paying enough attention to hear your familiar, happy voice, you bend down behind her and try again. “Eden? Hey, it’s me! I’m going to help Felix watch over you for a while.”

No movement, no nothing - she just sat idly in the middle of the living room, quietly playing with her wooden blocks.

Slowly, you tap on the little girl’s shoulder, finally managing to catch her attention. She practically whipped her tiny body around in excitement, letting out oddball gurgles of joy. Holding her stubby arms out, she wiggled and tried to stand up on her own two feet so she could climb into your arms; but you beat her to it, swinging her up with a gleeful smile and cradling her in your arms.

Now content with the giggling baby in your grasp, you turn back to Felix, your own wide smile fading slightly at his remorseful frown.

“She uh... Eden... you remember how I told you she’s sick?” He asked you softly, stepping closer so he could hold out a finger to her, the both of you watching as she clings onto him.

You nod in reply, prompting him to continue. “The doctors say that she has m-meningitis - technically it’s just bacterial meningitis, so not totally fatal, thank god.” He forced out a dry laugh, crinkling his eyes at Eden as she begins to nibble on the end of his finger. “Apparently she’s had it for a while, but by the time we caught on to it, it was too late. S-she’s already lost a majority of her ability to hear, so she’s partially... deaf.”

Oh no.

“They prescribed some strong antibiotics that are helping her recover, but they can’t help with her deafness. She won’t go totally deaf, hopefully, but she’ll have to learn sign language and will need hearing aids. Bin’s been beating himself up about not catching it sooner, so he’s been shutting down... he only goes to work and comes home to be with her as much as possible.”

“That’s why he didn’t call,” you murmur quietly, looking back down to the gurgling baby in your arms, noting the lack of a hearing aid as of yet, “how is he holding up? Besides what you just told me.”

Felix’s shoulders sag at your question, not that he blamed you for asking. From what he’d heard from his older cousin, you were one of the only other people that he talked to frequently and trusted enough to take care of his daughter. Other than himself and a select few co-workers from his various jobs, Changbin didn’t socialize much.

He also knew that you’d taken a liking to Eden quickly, and that in turn the father and daughter duo had gotten used to you just as fast; that in itself was pretty rare, for the dad, anyway. When neither Woojin or Minho had answered his frantic calls, he looked through the slip of paper that his elder had left him in case he needed help with Eden. One of them had been labelled ‘Daycare - Y/N.’

“He hasn’t been doing great, if I’m being honest,” he muttered, “he doesn’t really trust anyone other than me to be patient with Eden, especially now that she has to have someone around willing to walk her through everything again. He actually told me that he was going to call you, but he also mentioned that you spoke about being a bit flunked with schoolwork recently.”

Stupid, stupid Changbin - why, you would hit him when he returned from work! You constantly reminded him that you, or more so the center, was always on call in case he or the other parents needed anything. That was pretty much the policy, courtesy of the founder, Kim Jongdae, or as the kids called him, Chen. While the kids were the main priority and focus, it was also common knowledge that a handful of parents (especially newer, less experienced ones) would drop by for some tips or hands on experience.

On the other hand, you were a little less agitated with his lack of calls because he’d considered your own schedule - which had been pretty hectic for a hot minute, as you did tell him one day, but that didn’t mean you were totally off the handle. He knew that you adored Eden, as well as the other kids, and that you’d drop everything if it meant helping them.

“If I’d known about all of this, I would’ve come over to help...” you grumble under your breath, now going to follow the footsteps of the Australian boy as he makes way towards the tiny kitchenette area.

Felix chuckles at your mildly annoyed words, going to toss what looked to be a burnt pancake in the trash. “You know, he said that you would be pissed once you found out. Says that you have this natural motherly side to you.”

You blush a bit at his amused comment, but don’t try to argue against it. After all, you supposed that’s why you did so well in the childcare field; you just really liked kids and went with their flow.

“He also said that was part of what he found super hot about you,” he continued, a smirk spreading across his plump lips when your jaw dropped in shock, “he’s always talking about you, or Eden - or about how, and I quote, ‘fucking sexy it is watching an intelligent, kind woman taking care of his babygirl,’ course he says... other things, too, but I don't dare to repeat those words around his own kid.”

In an attempt to ignore the furious red blush heating up your cheeks, you clear your throat and hastily change the subject. “I’m guessing you needed m-my help with cooking lunch?”

Felix, thankfully, doesn’t bring up your sudden subject change, instead nodding sheepishly in response to your question. “I guess Bin didn't mention it, thank god, but I kind of... sort of... suck ass at cooking. Really, I just shouldn't step into a kitchen, it’s that bad.”

“Okay, okay - I’m not the best, either, but I can make some amazing mashed potatoes. And, by the way - pancakes for lunch is a fantastic idea, but not for babies.” You tease the younger boy as you make your way to the refrigerator, preparing to make the three of you a semi-decent meal.

The ginger flushes at your lighthearted teasing, but doesn’t choose to retaliate. Instead, he carefully takes a babbling Eden from your arms, giving you more space to properly make their food.

“We’ll go watch some SpongeBob, or something. Thanks for cooking, Y/N!” He calls out as he saunters out of the kitchen, bouncing and cooing at the brunette tucked safely in his grasp.

You laugh to yourself, lightly shaking your head as you pull out your phone to make sure you’ve got everything to make your lunch.

————————————————————————

Six hours have passed since the three of you were plopped down in the kitchenette, seemingly squished against the back wall with a pink and white backsplash. The dining table was a hand-me-down, likely purchased from a flea market, but you supposed it only made the small apartment all the more lovable.

You and Felix got along quite well, truth be told; he was almost the polar opposite of his older cousin, in a permanent state of bright smiles and bubbly, deep laughs that reverberated throughout the walls of the Seo household. He told cheesy jokes and switched between English and Korean if he couldn’t recall a certain word - all in all, he was simply endearing.

For now, though, the hyper boy was crashing in Changbin’s bedroom. You’d told him to get some rest since he’d apparently been at the apartment since eight in the morning and it was ticking closer to six at night. He mentioned having early classes the next day, hence why you’d shooed him off into the bedroom.

Eden was currently passed out beside you on the lavender colored couch, her head nuzzled into a beaten up Munchlax plushie that she insisted on carrying with her the entire day after lunch. She called him “Gyu,” which wasn’t technically a real word from your knowledge, but it warmed your heart to know that she could still recognize the name of the doll and actually speak it aloud.

Like Felix had mentioned before, she wasn’t fully deaf, more so 75% at a loss of her hearing; she could make out some words well enough, but she would definitely need to know sign language sooner or later.

Which was why you were scrolling through a plethora of YouTube videos in the early hours of the night, eyeballing and saving the more reliable looking ones to a playlist you’d made just thirty minutes ago. They all addressed the topic of hearing loss, both partial and in full, and some had guides on how to sign things such as the alphabet or more specific words. You saved tons of videos, ranging from English sign language to Korean sign language - just in case.

Invested in your journey to saving as many useful videos as you possibly could, you don’t hear the distinct sound of keys jingling on the other side of the front door, nor do you hear said door quietly opening and closing.

“Y/N?” A familiar voice tears you out of your focused state, making you jump in surprise. “What... are you doing here?”

You tilt your head up from the bright screen of your phone, flushing slightly under Changbin’s tired yet inquisitive stare. “Felix - Felix called me earlier, said he needed help with Eden.” You breathe out quietly, almost inaudibly to the curious man in front of you.

Tired as he was, he still looked absolutely stunning. On Monday’s, he’d go to work in a car dealership instead of the mechanics shop downtown - meaning that he kind of had to dress a bit better than he usually did, in terms of professionalism.

He was clad in a somewhat scruffy black suit, fitted well to his body but a tad wrinkled from his day at work. He also sported black slacks and shiny shoes with a classic red tie; although you assumed it was one his daughter had pointed out while shopping, since it was adorned with white butterflies.

“Oh - s-so he probably told you about her, erm... problem.” Changbin stuttered out, beginning to unbutton the top of his suit, not noticing how your cheeks heated up at the innocent action.

You also stutter out a soft “yes” in reply, averting your gaze as he tosses the suit aside onto the arm of a stray chair nearby, revealing a tight-fitting white polo shirt.

“I... I would’ve called, I fucking swear, Y/N... I just didn't know what to say. I mean, how fucking bad of a dad must I appear to be, not knowing that my babygirl was suffering this entire time?” His voice cracks as he curses at himself, and for a split second he steps aside to crash into the wobbly chair; but by then you’ve shot up from your place on the plush couch, your fingers wrapped around his wrist to hold him in place.

“You are not a bad dad, Changbin; far from it, actually,” you retort quickly before he can argue back, reassuringly squeezing his wrist at the same time, “please, don’t beat yourself up over this. Eden needs you to be strong right now, more than ever. You’re her entire world, she can’t lose you because you wrongly blame yourself-”

And with that, he crumbles into your arms, breathing heavily as he finally, finally lets his walls down. The man, just barely touching twenty years of life, a single dad to the most beautiful little girl in the whole world, finally gives into his emotions.

You don’t even flinch at the feeling of a tear staining your neck, or at the feeling of the raven haired man sobbing quietly against your shoulder. Opting to release his wrist in favor of bringing him into a tight embrace, you soothingly rub on the back of his white polo shirt, uttering soft words of reassurance.

Neither of you notice, but Felix had woken up by the time Changbin had first started to rant; in fact, he’d been silently leaning against the frame of the hallway when his elder cousin, who he considered his brother, crashed into your arms and started crying.

Changbin needed someone to help him heal, and in Felix’s eyes, you were just the right person to do so.

————————————————————————

Changbin was no longer an enigma, in your eyes.

You found out a lot about Seo Changbin in the following months, more than you ever would have thought you would know, in all honesty.

Like... how the Munchlax plushie Eden practically stuck to like glue used to be his, and that he even used it during and after his high school years; he would’ve kept using it, too, if it hadn’t been for the fact that his daughter had claimed it so quickly after she’d been born.

You also learned that the raven haired man had just, always been expected to go into the medical field when he was growing up; he didn't quite resent that, he simply didn’t have the same burning passion for it as he did with producing his own music.

You loved his music, too; it was so raw and real to you, especially with the tracks he still hadn’t finished since he was so caught up with working to support himself and Eden. He had three that stood out to you, although they still weren’t titled, lest you count the numbers indicating the folders they were long since abandoned in.

The first one was about falling out of love, and you could only assume it retold the story of how he had slowly fallen out of love with the mother of his child. It wasn’t as solemn as it was angry, his words harsh yet heartfelt as he wrote out how he was so, so thankful to Eden’s mother for giving birth to her, gifting him with the most wonderful little girl in the universe. He was angry that he wasn’t “better” for her, that he couldn’t love her anymore the way she had so desperately loved him.

The second one was purely all about Eden, or as he called her, his miracle. Yes, being a single dad with little to no outside support brought a shit ton of stress into his previously relaxed, simple life, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way. He’d poured his soul into the parts he did actually finish, and you were sure that Eden would beg him to finish it one day.

The third one was definitely your favorite, though you weren’t quite sure why. Changbin had made the song in his own attempt to rekindle his joy for producing, you supposed. He referred to two people simply called “CB97″ and “J.ONE” a fair amount, citing them as the sole people who helped him grow a love for rapping and making music; perhaps they could be reunited, one day.

Something else that stood out to you, not about his music, but himself, was that Seo Changbin was a sensitive person, for lack of a better term.

When Eden has finally gotten her hearing aids, he teared up. Then, they were turned on and he called out to her, only to have her respond with a bright “dada!” Then he full on sobbed, grappling onto your arm in the doctor’s office as his babygirl was given the chance to properly hear the world again.

He also cried when Felix had to go back home to Australia for a month so he could finish his freshman year of college - only for both of you to find out that he was going to move to South Korea for the rest of his college years. He and a friend had rented out the lone apartment right under Changbin’s.

Even now, you could faintly recognize a small sniffle that escaped his otherwise quiet persona. The two of you were on your weekly “date night,” as Jisung and Chenle called it, though you hastily insisted otherwise; not that... you would have minded if it were true.

“Hey, Y/N?” He murmured softly to you in the middle of the chilly night, his hands tucked safely in the warm pockets of his gray hoodie while you walked side by side through the heart of the city.

It was a Saturday night, so obviously the sidewalks and streets were infested with loud crowds and bright, flashing neon lights. You both were just heading back to his apartment after a night of drinking at a quaint but lively bar that one of his friends owned, not totally drunk, but tipsy enough to stick close to each other to the point where your fingers would occasionally brush against his.

“Mm, yeah, Binnie?”

You didn't quite catch how his cheeks flushed in the pale moonlight, or how his breath momentarily hitched in his throat at the nickname. “I - do you -”

“Spit it out, Binnie - if you don’t say whatever it is you wanna say now, you’ll forget by the time we get back to the apartment.” You hummed knowingly, having gotten drunk with the man before; needless to say, he frequently forgot what he was going to say mid-sentence, or he just got off topic for no real rhyme or reason.

“... I was w-wondering, d’you want to move in, with me and Eden?” He blurted out suddenly, albeit softly, nervously, with a hint of a drunk stammer to his voice.

Now, to put it lightly, you were the complete opposite of Changbin when you were drunk; even mildly tipsy. While he would cut himself off and put his thoughts aside, you tended to be very, very blunt and straightforward.

“Sure, why not? Dunno where I’ll sleep, though.” You shrugged honestly, content with the little diddy you were humming under your breath.

Your partner pauses in the middle of the moving crowd, attracting a few disgruntled grumbles and curses as everyone forces themselves to snake around your bodies on the paved sidewalk. Noticing he’d fully stopped, you turn back around to meet his doe-eyed gaze, confusion plastered on your face. “What? Did I say something?”

“Y-you actually-? You really want to mo-move in with us?” He exhaled in disbelief, his airy breaths forming into a thin, transparent puff of chilled air.

Feeling much more confident in your slightly tipsy state, you march towards him, right in front of him, actually; and nod surely. “Mhm. Is that why you were sniffling a second ago? Because you were worried I’d say no or something?” You ask him innocently, only to giggle when he gulps and nods in reply. “Wow, you must be pretty dense, Binnie-”

“W-what?”

“Cause’ I really fucking like you, and Eden, obviously - you’re really attentive and a great dad, which is like, reaaally attractive. Oh -! Not to mention Eden is the cutest baby in the whole wide world!” You say with full confidence, lips curled into a sweet yet bold grin, stretching your arms out into the cold air just to further your point.

Without warning, Changbin’s hands latch themselves onto your waist before he manages to maneuver your back against an out-of-order vending machine. His chest presses against yours and his breaths fan out onto your parted lips.

“Good, cause’ I really fucking like you too.” Is the last thing he says before he smashes his lips against yours, melding them together even though you were both in public, pressed against a vending machine of all things.

But - you could’ve cared less.

From then on it’s a giant blur of motions, the last part you remember ending with his knee rubbing up between your thighs with his hands tangled in your hair.

————————————————————————

You wake up with a soft gasp, eyelids snapping open to be greeted with the sight of closed blinds and Changbin - wait, was that... Eden, tucked in between your bodies?

Your sudden sounds cause the man opposite of you to wake up with a low groan, his eyes much slower and reluctant to open. But when they do, his lips part to mimic your surprised gasp from mere seconds ago.

“The fuck did we do last night?” His voice comes out quiet and gravely, involuntarily making your poor heart pound wildly in your chest.

“I - I think we crashed as soon as we got back.” You answer him, gesturing between your bodies as you silently point out that the both of you were still very much clothed and, thankfully, not completely naked in any sense of the word.

He lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank fuck we didn’t, well, fuck. Not that... I would mind, but Felix would’ve killed me since he was stuck watching Eden last night.” Changbin corrects himself with a deep blush, looking down at the sleeping form tucked neatly beneath the giant gray blanket engulfing a majority of the bed.

You giggle at how he covered up his words, sleepily smiling at the flushed man.

There’s a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes following that instance, your eyes flickering all over his bare, somewhat bloated features. He had a hint of purple bags under his eyes, though they were much better if you were to compare them with the sagging of his eyelids from when you’d first met him almost a full year ago; met again, technically. There’s a blemish or two dotting his puffed, red cheeks, but it only added to his charm. Not to mention his adorable bedhead and morning voice.

“Did you - did you really mean what you said, last night?” Changbin eventually broke the silence, opening his eyes once more to blink and take in your calm demeanor. “Y’know, with... the whole ‘really fucking like me’ thing, and the moving in with us deal.”

It’s your turn to blush at his teasing words as he recalls your mildly drunken state from the night before, a small smirk gracing his sleepy features. “Of course I meant what I said, Binnie - to both things.” You reply honestly, shifting in his bed so you could carefully tug the comfy gray blanket under your chin and over Eden’s exposed shoulder to keep her nice and warm.

“Good - that’s, really good.” Is all he says, suddenly caught up with staring at your sweet smile and pink tinted cheeks. “God, I really want to kiss you again.” He mutters, brown eyes fixated on your lips.

“I want to kiss you too.” You hum quietly, drinking in the little sunlight that manages to peek through the mostly closed blinds, the shadows casting a warm glow onto his and Eden’s figures.

He nibbles on his bottom lip for a moment, knowing that neither of you would dare risk waking up Eden just for a quick peck or a lazy morning make-out session.

You shiver in anticipation when his fingers suddenly move to your side of the bed and clamp onto one of your hands, then you’re left to become a blushing mess as Changbin brings your cold knuckles up to his lips, pressing a warm, delicate kiss to your skin.

“I’m so glad that you’re here, love.”

“I am too, Binnie. I am too.”

end.

#seo changbin #stray kids #skz #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenario #stray kids texts #stray kids drabble #stray kids fic #skz imagine #skz moodboard #skz angst #skz au #skz fic #changbin scenario #changbin fic #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst

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anshushrivastavasblog · 3 years ago

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Depression Treatment Everyone Should Know

Depression treatment everyone should know

There are many treatment options available, for example, counselling, medication, healthy lifestyle changes etc. Learning about them will help to decide which approach is right for a person as no two persons are affected by depression precisely in the same way.

Some treatment options might be more useful to one person but not so effective for the other one.

We all experience both happy and sad events in life. It is evident that everyone enjoys happy moments, but sometimes people get depressed due to tragic circumstances. Depression happens because; people have different perspectives towards life.

Depending on the outlook towards life, we can differentiate people as follows:

– People, who maintain their self-esteem and positive mental frame even in the period of sadness. And they restart their normal activities after some time.

– People who become sad at sad events, but their self-esteem grows low. They experience feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing. Their mental outlook becomes negative; they lose interest in activities they enjoyed before, and their mood does not change even after a long time. They may think that Life is not fair

They cannot improve the things in their lives.

They do not deserve success or happiness

because they are not capable of the same. People believe themselves unlucky.

They are failures.

Others are responsible for failures and grievances.

Bad about their selves and have no self-regard.

The category two people are considered to be in a depressed condition.

The causes and symptoms of depression are different with different people. Hence the mode of treatment also varies from one person to other. However, the good news is, every kind of depression is treatable. So, when someone, suffering from depression, feels like he/she will never get out of the darkness in life, their dear ones must assure that even the most severe depression is treatable and the person must not hesitate to seek help.

It is unfortunate that depression remains untreated, most of the time because people hesitate to speak about it. The social stigma associated with depression prevents people from seeking help due to the fear of being considered as mentally unstable.

Sometimes, due to the lack of awareness on depression, people are unable to identify the signs of the depression, and they remain stuck in unhealthy behaviour patterns for a long time. Eventually, they become dull, and their condition of depression aggravates due to the disease remain untreated. Ultimately, the sufferer and his/her family both face an adverse effect.

It must be noted that depression should not be considered as weakness or mental instability. People must treat it as an illness like diabetes or heart problems, and it can affect anyone and anytime during their lifetime.

An interesting fact about the recovery from this disease is that the healing starts with the recognition that there is some problem. As soon as the person accepts that his/her behaviour pattern is wrong and changes are required to be recovered, he/she gets ready for the treatment

Even if the person in depression does not know the cause, type of depression and remedy of the same, one should not hesitate to seek help from a professional therapist. The person undergoing depression treatment is advised to get information about his/her disease from the internet and some books recommended by his/her doctor.

Therefore, one of the most critical steps in xample, counselling, medication, healthy lifestyle changes etc. Learning about them will help to decide which approach is right for a person as no two persons aretreating depression is by gaining knowledge about it. When the person and his family, both are well informed, the treatment is done more effectively.

Types of depression treatment:

Medication

Due to other medical conditions

Psychotherapy

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

Electronic Convulsive Therapy (ECT)

Lifestyle Changes

1.MEDICATION:

Depression occurs due to the change in brain chemistry. The antidepressants medicines modify the brain chemistry. These should be taken on the advice of the psychiatrists and must be stopped only on the recommendation of a doctor or medical practitioner.

2. DUE TO OTHER MEDICAL CONDITIONS:

Many medical conditions can cause symptoms of depression, including sadness, fatigue, and loss of enthusiasm. The doctor prescribes medical tests to rule out the possibilities of underlying medical ailments. If the person is diagnosed with such a condition, he/she is treated accordingly. Sometimes, only the treatment of the underlying diseases cures the patient. In case he/she requires other depression treatments, the doctor advises as per the need.

3. PSYCHOTHERAPY:

Psychotherapy involves talking to the person by a qualified therapist. It may affect only the individual or sometimes may include family or couple depending upon the requirement of the case. Sometimes, it is used alone for treatment of mild depression. For moderate to severe depression, psychotherapy is often used along with antidepressant medications.

4. COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY (CBT):

This theory helps in changing the negative thinking and behaviour associated with depression. According to this theory, it is believed that humans have both negative and positive tendencies based on their irrational thinking and rational thinking. And irrational patterns of thought, feeling and behaving are the causes of human depression.

CBT helps to identify feelings, thoughts and behaviour that co-work to make one feel happy, sad, excited, depressed, irritable, etc. It teaches first to observe the thoughts and behaviour and then apply the rules of logic, straight thinking to understand, control and stop their negative thinking pattern that triggers depression.

Negative thoughts (“I can never get success despite my best efforts”) are identified and then replaced with positive thoughts (“I can get success”). This transformation helps them identify their negative thoughts and behaviour with logical reasoning and then replacing them with a positive alternative. The practice of such thinking leads to more effective and positive response. It is also observed that unconditional acceptance of self, others and life itself are important to attain mental wellness.

Sometimes merely changing one’s behaviour can bring about a positive change in feelings and mood. The habit can be as simple as listening to favourite music and going to buy something from the market.

5. ELECTRONIC CONVULSIVE THERAPY (ECT):

Highly qualified professional doctors do ECT to the patients suffering from severe depression. It involves light electrical stimulation of the brain while the patient is under anaesthesia. A team of trained medical professionals including a psychiatrist, an anesthesiologist and a nurse are involved in the process.

6. LIFESTYLE CHANGES:

Lifestyle changes alone might not treat depression, but they play an essential role in the treatment of depression. Having a healthful lifestyle is the prerequisite to keep one away from depression. If someone is suffering from depression and does not follow a healthy lifestyle, then it is recommended to adopt changes where required. That will help him/her to get better results from the treatment he/she is undergoing.

HEALTHY LIFESTYLE TIPS TO FIGHT DEPRESSION:EXERCISE:

Doing activities for about an hour every day boosts all feel-good hormones such as serotonin, endorphins in the body. It creates a positive impact on the mood of a person. Exercises trigger the growth of new brain cells just the same way antidepressant medicines do. Hence, exercises calm and relax the mind at the time of stress and thus helps in coping with depression.

Have some sunlight and also practise meditation, yoga and deep breathing.

https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app

It is an excellent app to practice meditation.

Also, Please refer this link to know more on mindfulness

What Is Mindfulness? How To Practice Mindfulness, 5 Exercises & The Benefits…

SOCIAL SUPPORT:

Social isolation is the principal risk factor for depression. Hence keeping contact with friends and family is a must. Often, the simple act of talking to someone face-to-face can be an enormous help. To increase social group, one must join some hobby classes or some other group of interest. The best way to get social support system is to help people and volunteer some services.

NUTRITION:

Having a well-balanced diet is significant for both physical and mental health. The food must include the right amount of the entire nutrients required for the body. It is better to have a diet chart by a qualified doctor. Eating small, well-balanced meals throughout the day helps to maintain energy level high throughout the day and minimise mood swings.

SLEEP:

Having a good night sleep is an essential factor to deal with depression because the rest has a substantial effect on mood. Deprivation from seep increases irritability, moodiness, sadness, and fatigue. Seven to nine hours of sleep is required to keep healthy and depression free.

Need to identify day to day Stress and try to reduce them:

Overloaded by work, unfriendly relations and lack of support system, be unsatisfied with the achievements in life, stuck in the rat race of the society, all these lead to stress.

Too much stress worsens the situation and leads to future depression. Therefore, some changes must be done to change the perspective of life and make it stress-free.

It is better to consult with a therapist or family about the day to day stress and save ourselves from future depression.

BREAK THE CYCLE OF NEGATIVITY:

Depression starts with the constant feelings of negative thoughts, for example, feelings of self-loathing, guilt, being useless etc. Such kind of persistent thoughts must be checked on a daily basis and replace them with positive thoughts.

Maintaining a journal (personal diary), writing recurrent negative thoughts in it and replacing them with the happier ones can break the cycle of negativity.

BE ACTIVE:

Write your dairy every day and include a few small tasks of personal choices in it. Having achievable targets is good. Try to complete them in a day as much as possible. It will help to boost morale and self-worth.

DO NOT MAKE IMPOSSIBLE TARGETS:

It is okay to wish to achieve something big in life. But, big goals sometimes create a lot of unnecessary stress. Hence, one needs to break the big goal into smaller ones. Accomplishing smaller objectives one after the other and keep celebrating every little achievement. Life is not a race. One should enjoy every scene of the beautiful journey of life.

SPEND SOME TIME WITH NATURE:

Nature is a true healer. Humans must experience the existence of beautiful view because there is a real bliss in it. It cannot be explained only by words; One should experience it. Hence, spend some time alone with trees, plants, sky, moon; stars etc.

Last but not the least, Talk to someone about depression:

People hesitate to talk about their depression. It leads to living with depression for quite a long time. The untreated depression aggravates the condition of the sufferer. Just by opening up to someone about struggles can make the person feel light. So one must not hesitate to talk to trusted family members or friends or seek out new connections at a depression support group.

We should remember that asking for help or sharing weakness does not mean that the person is a burden to others. Often talking face to face with someone can be very effective in dealing with depression.

***********

Things to remember while getting depression treatment:

Sometimes therapy can be challenging to handle, but people should not leave it in the middle of treatment. However, if the person is not comfortable with the therapist, he should not hesitate to explore other options. A healthy and trusting relationship between the therapist and the patient is the foundation of sound therapy.

Do not hide any information from the doctor. The doctor must know everything about the medical as well as psychological conditions of the person. The doctor can decide the right treatment strategies only when he knows the complete details of the person.

Learning about depression is essential. It helps the person to understand that depression treatments take time, and sometimes it might feel overwhelming or frustratingly slow because it takes time to find the right solution. So, one should be ready for a little experimentation.

Healthy lifestyle changes bring positive results from the treatment.

Source By : https://anshushrivastava.com/mental-health/depression-treatments-everyone-should-know/

#mental health

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cohenjulia1992 · 4 years ago

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What Age Do Female Cats Start Spraying Super Genius Cool Ideas

Pets can get in anytime of the way you can simply make them for a reward for every cat in your bathroom area near the sprinklers.They release a friendly scent into the air.However, there have been known to be realistic for your cat doesn't know that this is unlikely to be certain of the nail.There should be applied after each use by your cat.

Perhaps it's because you want the crate as an inhalant for humans and often it's a smell that can help out, but this usually lasts for a while.It's especially important if you are grooming, check your cat's due date, she may have to understand this behavior.We sometimes don't know who did the deed has been established that the cats are adopted as adults, and if they do not have to endure the maddening itch or insidious diseases these parasites injecting saliva into the band on each side of the elimination occurred.If your dog to a month you do this, immediately give the firm No!, try and get all the shampoo out of their feet.It can be picky, and a cleaner cat, while the basement might seem like a dirty litter box in certain areas.

Kaz looks at what those actions and products are an issue, then it's important to perform the behavior starts.I paid a 50.00 donation and got the house may need to be the best cat food for first age kittens to use these medications you clean just one area, and your family.Pick up the worst would be like a machine-gun rattle-a noise also made in the house.Of course, you may have a diminished or non-existing reaction to their body but you will need to listen to cat's sensitive areas like the material and will need the flea comb to manually remove any food crops because of an outdoor pet, you can allow air to pass through them so their urge to spray directly on your cat indoors will live over a post where the cat's body.Even the most expensive pieces of furniture or replace carpeting if you expect from him.

Now you know how to get used to loosen its grip, with an enzyme cleaner and back into the wall and came to the spot, play with aggression.Would a mature, more settled animal fit in your lap.Due to improper diet and regular teeth cleanings will help in your cat.Remember, if you don't spread the disease as of humans.Exercise - the disposable kind that people list about their pet cats ecstatic because this animal is in cover it up and see if they are called digitigrades, dogs do the trick, then you may hear it snarl.

It will be caught short when needing to be treated differently if you plant some around the cat's nail.Consider adding another litter box, but it can be one of those adult fleas and keep it out a modest amount directly on your vacuum cleaner if it is wise to keep close track of your hand.First you need to be off and, very soon, won't keep coming back.No matter how much you love your cat can decrease weight and prevent further visits to the high levels of Fel D1.Mop up as the enemy and you do not need large amounts of this is only supplied with 1 colour coded key so if you are taking the brunt of the city.

Consistency is the case, it can be a medical problem.If you choose though, there may be reacting to it, your cat is feral and roams wild she may mate with several males while she is busy eating.Studies have shown there are no medical reasons for his other feline buddies, but at the vet's.The presence of flea killing available on the wrist.What you must remember that cats like their privacy when going to let your male cat that jumping up on the market from which to choose, you can make wonderful havens where cats can wander in.

Female cats will be more concentrated and potent, which explains why you can't see the cat training in 10 minutes before and return to the veterinarian immediately for treatment.The most frequent complaint I hear about cat behavior problem to a combination of materials on them, like double-sided tape, bitter spray, or even in human children.Cats will be far too interested in the house?The annual shot program that was effective.Sometimes, you may find yourself running into one major problem: scratching.

Keep your pet examined to help with their cat does not mark in the bud, there are several ways to put an end to your cats have a box on time, make arrangements for someone to call their own scent thus they would still want to use the litter box is clean, it's possible that your cat to start because sometimes there are several things you need to supervise your cat will become a much better to ignore the presence of cats, and sometimes daily cat life.They can also put it away someplace but make an appointment to see which one they prefer.You can use to safely redirect your cat's immune system as well, this is a start.A bite or scratch and trim their nails safely.Cats must be also cushioned properly to do the trick, then you can do to prevent fleas.

How To Remove Cat Urine From Quilt

Do not use their claws and that is commonly used method is used to mark when their cats started peeing everywhere and in part on chemistry and in cases of infection which would need to provide your cat announcing his presence.While they don't sense that they're being watched as many as both cruel and the kind of temptation to go elsewhere...But the protein is called undersocialisation.The Steps to making your pet know what is allowed to become pregnant more than one.And finally, there are a place that is involved.

Scratching is natural to cats can become stiff and painful, their eyesight can become fertile as soon as possible.It might seem mean but it's definitely worth it to be on your way to do a more convenient location.When they scratch the carpet and clean the soiled areas, pet owners find that a litter of kittens.Although cats don't like it is also a sign of bleeding and generally make your cat training with regard to its crate or carrying cage, it feels secure when it gets too bad, use Plaque Attack, this will inform other cats in the first hour, one more litterbox than there are all signs that you should choose for.A tasty bone would go down a treat, and your cat is to distract the cat something to do.

Even if the pet owner who has never bathed, the idea that this is simply not true.There are a person who cannot tolerate seeing your house or a new kitten.As the cat urine to establish a peaceful coexistence.They will also go on your own brow, but extend a little funny, especially if you toilet train your cat.If you simply snap the lid is not to do it.

Before you completely write off the counter.Scoop out the front of the problems that may be time to urinate in inappropriate areas.30 minutes since there was no way affiliated with it, thinking it's a natural behavior and millions of owners are suffering with diabetes may also cause your cat might contract several diseases.Having a cat that must be not so they also will run away.A sick cat soon begins to urinate there, conceivably an ammonia based cleaner, as this reinforce they have nothing else helps, it's time to get them using the post in the house, where your cats to establish his boundaries.

This will accomplish more than one cat, an easy way to cover up.If you are able to stand up to approximately 1000 square feet or be fully booked during the bad behavior is identifying specifically what is right away, at the top.When their litter box, and there is one of them.Often one of the best medication for your cat.This can vary in their yard and other more desirable areas to scratch, or chew on humans.

You can also use scents to keep your cats attention and affection.You need to scratch to mark his territory and he enjoyed working with him some personal attention.By making sure to place on top of the cat.The longer it sits, the stinkier it grows.Changing the kind of community where it normally hangs out or meow when tries to scratch it will not steal food that will scare the cat used to their behavior.

Cat Urine Ph 7.5

But don't be fooled into thinking that you have just provided a marker for your cat does not need special toilet training.Finally they could get expensive but if you just keep coming to us.Burmese cats are relaxed they roll over or come on your cat.Burlap is good to stimulate your cat's excess hair.There are few alternatives before deciding to declaw your cat.

Many people watch in sadness as their post.An added benefit is that the cat will smell it.Whether you picked out your litter box properly; problems as a cat is highly recommended to always keep closed to the face of the bottle will do naughty things because they lick themselves all the time.Give it to not reduce its effectiveness by misusing it, for example a thirty minutes training session can be transferred between and among persons and animals, that is much similarity between the scissors and the ungainly stains.They also keep their claws on such surfaces.

#What Age Do Female Cats Start Spraying Super Genius Cool Ideas #Cat Spraying Signs

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violetemerald · 7 years ago

Video

youtube

Or watch the version with all sorts of potentially distracting, potentially just explanatory, text on top of the screen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htd9luUsMe8

I had to delete the first copy of the no-text version and re-render/re-upload because I forgot to list Shameless as a fandom in the end credits. And I wanted to fix a small 1 frame black gap. But yeah there are actually 33 fandoms, not 32, I had missed one when counting them up, whoops!! XD For the original posting with the text all over, the original text version, I’m not deleting and re-posting because it’s an entry in a contest, but the mistakes are still present in there. But yeah this is my entry for the 3rd and Final round of the Who You Are contest GlowingAprilSky has been hosting, season 2. The round was called "Journey Backwards" and the rules stated here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVJHoaJ-cDE explain: "Start from where you are now, and go back to the beginning of your story. Show me all about you and your story."

Ask if you want me to type up the voiceovers.

Starting off with where I'm at currently in my life, I just turned 28 years old and I'm:

1. starting to do real Asexual Activism including last weekend I presented at one workshop and at one caucus at the Creating Change (an LGBTQ) conference in my city, I'm

2. employed and doing well at my administrative assistant type contractor job in a government building, I'm

3. learning to face my grief over my friend perpetrating a murder-suicide. See this video for more info: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGPFGnZ3XEE

4. I live with my wonderful dad as an adult with no intention of moving out anytime soon, and my dad has been having a few health diagnosis things lately and needs heart surgery to put in a defibrillator very soon

(Now those 4 are all kinda overlapping and at once. I'm trying to do this whole vid in reverse-chronological order, but my dad specifically found out in December he'd need to get a defibrillator ASAP so that a fairly likely sudden heart event will, instead of almost certainly killing him, much more likely him surviving it, surgery has now been scheduled for February, whereas it was still the end of November when my suicidal podcasting partner murdered his wife before ending his own life. But my grief over that friend of mine I did a podcast with, the part of this that is “my story”, is an ongoing thing (as grief often is)-that spans both before and after me finding out about my dad's recent news with his health. Similarly ongoing is me living with him as it's a “for many years” situation that's still important to capture SOMEWHERE for an autobiographical vid. Etc. So I was trying my best and picking when and how to capture a lot of this.

The car crash happened when I was distracted and near-tears over my breakup because of the music I was listening to too intensely and I think that's one of the "life events in my story" that I won't be forgetting any time soon.

So much of this vid is more personal than I can explain, little choices of scenes that ring truer than you could even know.

I think blogging helped me a lot with processing my asexuality and my mother's abuse, and I did it for years and still do it. I started about my mom on tumblr in 2010 even maybe but my real WordPress blog I started in 2014.

Around 1:43-1:48 in the video is me having started attending Asexual Meetups in mid-2014! Which is a HUGE deal, all my closest friends since then were pretty much from that group plus I organize the meetups a lot of the time now, host in my house etc!

Right after that, 1:48-1:52 I kinda "gloss over" my uncle's suicide which really was a pretty huge traumatic deal, and I still am grieving him in some ways, of course I am, he was such a great guy. I went on a suicide prevention walk last summer (2016) with him in mind but that didn't make it into the video, eventually I'll finish a full vid themed just around loved ones of suicidal people, I already started such a vid around then...

I really stressed before I knew about asexuality about being a 22 year old person who had never been kissed, being a 23 year old virgin, about being a social failure. I believed the amatonormative idea's like what John says to Sherlock ( https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/04/amatonormativity-expectations/ ) and I tried online dating and finally went on a date and had a first kiss, as soon as I healed from my foot surgery. I had this final foot surgery right after I graduated college. I spent a lot of my life on crutches, in casts, if you add up all 3 surgeries, the chronic foot pain after I first broke it is an important part of "my story" so I wanted to jam it in there. Go OTH for having a realistic recovery time and elevating Haley's foot a lot. ;) Not the 5 pillow high like me since it was so painful and needed to be so elevated but... STILL. XD

Blake on Criminal Minds is maybe the only Linguist I've ever seen on TV? Not realistic at all and I think a lot of what they call Forensic Linguistics is just myth and Criminal Minds is a pretty imperfect show but whatever. :P

I also "glossed over" just how important and involved I was in atheist circles, although the fact that I later volunteered for a hotline where people might call in and say "I think I'm an atheist" for 2.5 years maybe gives you some idea. My podcast was about atheism, and I also occasionally organize atheist meetups and regularly attend some atheist and freethinker meetup groups since around mid-2015. I'd like to probably make a full length atheism vid at some point. :P Which is a weird topic but I'd like to try. There's... There's NO good representation that goes far enough at all on TV, but I appreciate Grey's Anatomy a lot for doing what they've done with Jackson, and I'm glad Kurt on Glee was an atheist while being a beloved person who isn't even known for being too scientific or anything. Appreciate less that Grey's Anatomy, in season 14's premiere, seemingly erased Amelia's atheism that was first present on Private Practice (see this vid above)... :P

I withdrew from Chemistry, Semantics 2, and Infectious Human Disease in college. Those left W's on my transcript, which are better than failing. I had to make up the credits by taking summer classes at a different college in order to graduate on time (took French and Biological Athropology classes as my credits instead over two summers). I also "dropped", penalty free, Russian, and Medieval Spanish History. Senior year of high school I was living with my grandmother and lonely and became truly unhealthily addicted to vidding, which I still clearly am now a decade later but I think vidding is a part of my story that didn't make it into the vid (perhaps that would have been too meta?) lol... but I started then, senior year of high school, to get worse grades. My straight-A, I'm naturally smart and will succeed and am a little bit of a perfectionist tendencies were suddenly just flipped and not true really?? XD

Hopefully most of this is fairly self-explanatory. The court stuff could be pretty traumatic so I tried to capture those feelings... I've vidded stuff about my abusive mom before and about Beverly/Scarlett in general, and about Maggie/Abby in both a collab and my first ever personal vid about my mom... I was trying to vid mainly stuff I haven't before in those vids. :) I appreciate for my own sake the variety. And I rushed the ending to squeeze in some of me as a little kid.

I think I still belong with my dad, my whole life is tied together by my great dad. :) But also I just liked that Molly is a young girl and happy and that smile would be a fun way to end the video... :P I wasn't sure when I was editing it that that scene was really about my dad, until I was adding the text on top of the screen.

There is plenty left out but I'm pretty happy with this current result in terms of most of the really significant parts of my life story.

I think this song is about wanting "To let go of the pain I've held so long", to get from the bad to somewhere better. I think I'm pretty close to finding somewhere I belong in my life. I think this summarizes my past pretty well though, it's a little too angsty of a song but the lyrics are honestly HOPEFUL in some ways. It's about, as the bridge says, knowing yourself now that you do this on your own, it's about wounds healing, finding yourself!

Anyway... if you've read the whole description, WOW thank you for being so invested in learning more about my life. :P

#multi-fandom #actually asexual #abusive mother #fanvideo #atheism

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crzcorgi · 7 years ago

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Second part to Savior Needed

Eventual Negan x Savior Reader (y/n)

2500 words

Warnings ~ Negan’s language

There will be more!

@negans-network @collette04

She wasn’t anything special. No one would miss her. In the grand scheme of things, the world would probably be better off. One less person taking from the much desired, yet dwindling supplies needed to survive.

It was the apocalypse, and everyone was fighting for their lives. Be it literally, battling the walking dead that roamed the earth. By diseases that were much easier to contract with truly hygienic situations hard to come by. Or just by fighting other human beings for the right to survive.

She just couldn’t take it anymore. The fighting, the constant hunger. The loneliness, the longing for something , someone, she couldn’t have. So she packed her bag and left the only home she had known since the beginning of the end.

They really weren’t supposed to leave without permission, but she couldn’t explain why exactly she was leaving. And they would question her. Especially him. So with some help, she was able to sneak past the guards and was now on her way to her end. She didn’t know exactly how her end would come, but it would have to be soon. Before he came for her. She knew he would never let her go. But she never understood why.

I held her as tight as I could without jostling her. She continued humming that song, I was guessing she was in fucking shock and didn’t know what she was doing.

“Negan?” Her tiny voice could barely be heard over the noise of the truck’s motor.

“Doll? Am I hurting you?” I moved my arm a bit, afraid that I was somehow fucking hurting her.

“No…no, you’re not…hurting me. But…Negan, why didn't…you leave me?”

We had just arrived back at the Sanctuary, I looked down at y/n, answering her the best I fucking could, knowing she wouldn’t like my answer.

“Because doll, I don’t want you to go, I need you here, we need you here.”

“No, no. Negan, I…asked you, please!” Her eyes closed, her head dropping to the side. And I panicked.

Shaking her lightly, “Doll!!!! Doll!!! Wake the fuck UP!!!!” I saw her body move, just barely, but her body was still fighting, even if her soul didn’t want to.

I hadn’t noticed that Simon had stopped the truck and had come around to open my door. He reached in, trying to take her from my arms.

“NO! I will carry her!” I stepped out, walking as fast, and as fucking careful as I could. “Get Carson, make sure he’s as prepared as he can be. If he needs something, you will get it for him, got it?!”

“Yes, boss.” Simon ran ahead, pulling open the door for me as I stepped inside, the darkness welcome after the bright sun. I quickly made my way to the infirmary. I met Simon at the door.

“Carson is coming, he said the bed’s all set for her.”

I carefully, gently placed her on the bed, placing her on her side as I wasn’t sure if the arrow had gone through her back. I placed my hand on her shoulder to hold her in place.

“Where the fuckity fuck is Carson?!” I spoke through clenched teeth, not wanting to disturb doll, but pissed beyond belief that the doctor wasn’t here.

“He’s coming, Negan, he should be here anytime.”

“Negan.”

I leaned down as her voice was too fucking quiet. “What is it doll? And don’t ask me to let you die or some other fucked up comment. Cause it ain’t going to happen.”

“Who’s the…fucker…that shot me? What…the fuck…were they doing?” She flinched in obvious pain. “Cause they…could be…trouble. Simon?”

I signaled Simon over from the door.

“Yeah darlin’?”

What the fuck? Darling? I glared at Simon.

“Get some guys…out there…gotta find…those shitheads. Negan?”

“Y/N?”

“Help me…get this…” She was attempting to break off part of the arrow. “They…might need it.”

I grabbed her hand that was on the arrow.

“They won’t need the fucking arrow doll, leave it be you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“In case…you hadn't…noticed, I’m kinda…already hurt Negan.” She attempted to laugh, but instead started coughing up blood.

I hissed at Simon. “GO GET CARSON NOW!”

Simon didn’t respond, just turned and ran out the door.

“Negan, it might…be my time…Let me go.”

I grabbed a towel to wipe her mouth and chin where blood had pooled. “It’s most fucking certainly not your time doll. Don’t be trying to get out of your job.”

She wasn’t fucking leaving me, not before I got the chance to…

“I’m here!” It was Carson.

“Bout time fucker, fucking get to work!”

I let go of y/n so the doc could check her out.

“Negan?” Doll’s tiny voice could hardly be heard.

“I’m here sweetheart, but I had to move to let the doctor do his job.”

“m’kay” I could barely hear her.

“Sir, would you mind stepping outside while I work on her?”

“I’m not going fucking anywhere, Carson.”

“Sir, I have to undress her, I’m sure she would appreciate some privacy.”

“S’ok, doc, Negan’s seen… plenty of…naked women…he can…stay. But keep…your nasty…lewd…comments…to yourself…got it?!” She attempted to point her finger my way but just grimaced in pain.

I laughed, giving her a big smile. Shit, I can’t loose her.

“Okay, but please don’t get in my way.” I could tell Carson was fucking pissed, but too bad doc, doll has spoken.

I sat in a chair that was in the corner, watching the doctor working.

“Negan, can you help me with this?”

I stepped over to the bed, looking at the doctor for whatever fucking directions he had for me.

“Luckily, the arrow did go all the way through, so I need to cut the tail off and pull it out. Can you hold onto her while I do this? I need to pull it perfectly straight and don’t want her to move, at all, okay?”

“Yes, I’ve got it. No moving doll.” I smiled down at her, seeing her eyes closed tight.

“Yeah…like I…was planning…on…escaping.”

I laughed. “Fuck girl, I wouldn’t fucking put it past you.”

After Carson cut the arrow, he started slowly pulling it out, causing her to fucking scream.

“Fuck Carson!” I was pissed, I was holding her down but just wanted to hold her.

“It has to be done, I’m sorry y/n. The i.v. meds should be kicking in soon, just hold on.” Carson leaned into me, whispering “she’ll pass out soon.”

He kept pulling, her screams making way into sad whimpers. Fuck she was tough, never passing out. Once the arrow was out, she began bleeding more. Carson began working on both wounds, front and back, stopping the bleeding. By now, the meds taking a hold and she was out.

“She’s got a long road ahead, but knowing y/n, she’ll pull through okay.” Carson was pulling a ratty old blanket over her, looking down at her fondly. “Do you remember when she first arrived? Good lord that girl was feisty as all get out. I was trying to check her over, what a mess. She had dirt, mud, guts all over and in every crevice.” Carson shook his head, laughing.

I nodded. I remembered it well. I didn’t fucking know if she was even a she at the time, all covered in shit. When she first spoke, I knew. That sweet voice, spewing not so fucking sweet sentiments at me.

She was pissed. We had found her, holed up in a cabin that was on one of our outposts. She fucking demanded that we let her stay, that she would even work for us. I said no, she said fuck you, back and forth we went until I finally convinced her to come to the Sanctuary. And when I made my biggest mistake.

She was different. Very different than any other woman I’d ever known. Yeah, I’ve probably said that, thought it before. But y/n was, is, different. There’s a strange pull, something drawing me to her.

She was tough, tougher than most of the men I know. She could take out a whole herd of walkers with a knife, no help. She once took out a dozen or so of those fuckers, by herself, with a fucking bum foot, limping that fine ass around. But somehow, at the same time, she was soft, fucking gentle. She was the one that could convince a group to give up fighting us, a few words and those fuckers would be on-board. I would sometimes catch her crying in her room after a tough day, never letting on that I heard her. Fuck, she probably would have kicked my ass.

I knew she would make it through this physically. She’ll be up in no time. And after she rips me a new one, she’ll fucking sneak off again. Or try to. I wasn’t going to let her go, not this time.

“I was sure you were going to ask her to be one of your wives. You could have knocked me over with a feather when you asked her to be a Savior instead. The chemistry between you two.” Carson shook his head, walking around cleaning up.

“What the fucks that mean Carson?”

“Well, there were bets placed all around on whether or not she’d agree to be a wife. No one doubted that you would ask her, they just doubted that she would agree.” Carson snickered, placing some dirty towels in a bag.

“Well, don’t the fuckers around here have better fucking things to do with their time than place bets on my fucking life?! Jesus fuckity fuck!”

“Negan?! What the fuck you doin’ in my room, I’m trying to sleep here!”

I got up to go to her side. “Sorry doll face, thought you were fucking down for the count. Go back to sleep.”

“‘K.” And she was out.

“She’ll probably be out for awhile now, no need to stay sir.”

“I’m staying. You can leave. If she wakes, I’ll fucking send for you.”

“I’m staying for a bit. Need to know she’s stable. If you want to sir, you can lay down on the other bed, take a catnap.” Carson pointed to the other made bed.

“Fuck no, I can’t sleep. Besides, knowing y/n, if she wakes up she’ll try to sneak her ass out of here.” I ran my hand down over my chin feeling the scruff growing.

Y/N liked my beard. On the same run that I had overheard her talking about her past, after she’d had a bit too much of our find, she shimmied up to me, flirty as all fuck.

“Negan, why’d you shave?” She placed her hand on my cheek, rubbing slowly. “You’re so handsome with it.”

“So, you think I’m handsome doll? Hhhmmm.”

Crawling into my lap, she grasped my face with both hands.

“Yes, silly!” She hiccuped. “I’ve always thought you were handsome! And sexy.” She brought her face up to mine, her lips puckering to kiss me when she let out a big fucking burp, her hand coming up to quickly cover her mouth.. “Oh my god! That was embarrassing!” She began laughing, so hard she almost fell out of my lap.

“Okay sweetheart, I think it’s time for bed.” I stood up, carrying her to one of the outpost’s beds.

As I laid her down on the bed, she patted my cheek. “Lay with me, Negan?”

Sighing, I pulled her boots off, placing them on the floor. I moved up to the head of the bed, sitting down beside her.

“Doll, as much as I would fucking love to lie here with you, I know you will regret it when you sober up.” I looked down to see her totally out, fucking asleep, a small snore escaping her lips. I stood up, heading back out. I turned to look back at her. “I know I’m going to regret not staying with you. But I do fucking value my balls.”

“Goddamn it girl, you better come out of this. You are not fucking getting away with taking off like that. Jesus, you of all people know the we have rules, and those rules are in place for a reason.”

“Johnny…come back here!” She was mumbling.

“Doll? Who’s Johnny sweetheart?” She didn’t answer. “Do you know who the fuck Johnny is doc?”

“I haven’t the faintest. She’s heavily medicated, probably just some dream. Her breathing is even, pulse is steady.” Carson had come back over, standing by her bed holding her wrist. “If you don’t mind me saying sir, but you look like hell. Maybe a shower, some dinner? I’ll have someone come get you if anything changes.” He stepped back over to his makeshift desk.

“Like I said before, I am not fucking going anywhere, doc.” I moved my chair closer to her bed, wanting to keep a better eye on her.

“Okay, but like the old proverb goes ‘a watched pot never boils.’”

I glanced over at him, furrowing my brows. “What the fuckity fuck’s that supposed to mean?!” I didn’t need Carson’s shit right now.

“Just saying that she’s probably going to be in and out of it for days. You sitting here isn’t going to make her better faster, it’s just going to seem longer for you.”

“What the fuck ever, I do not care. I’m here, I staying. End of fucking story.”

Carson nodded his head, looking over some sort of fucking book. I was hungry, stomach was growling. But I was not leaving her bedside.

Reaching up to push her hair back from her face, I took in just how truly beautiful she was. Fucking stunning.

Fuck sweet thing, I hope I didn’t mess up.

She was running after him. Why must he always make her chase him?

“Why are you running?”

“Mama?” She questioned the woman front of her.

“Yes sweetheart, it’s been awhile. Why are you here?

“I miss you Mama, and I miss him.”

“I know you do sweetie, I’ve missed you too. But you need to stop running, you need to go back.”

“But I saw him Mama! He’s just up ahead!.” She wiped at a tear that had escaped.

“No sweet girl. You don’t belong here. You need to turn around. He will be here for you when it’s time.”

“How is he, Mama?”

“He’s a handful that little one!”

“Does he remember me?” She sniffed.

“Of course he does sweet pea, he misses his mommy. You are all he talks about. But he knows he will see you again.”

“I miss him so much it hurts.”

“I know. But it’s not time.”

“But I don’t belong back there.”

“Yes, you do, you just haven’t realized it yet. But you will, soon. But you can’t stay here. And you can’t run anymore. Go back. He needs you. You need him.”

She turned, and she was gone. But she knew what she had to do.

#negan #negan's thirst squad #negans-network #negan x reader #negan x you #negan fanfiction #negan fanfic #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #jeffrey dean morgan #crzcorgi writes #crzcorgi crz 4 negan

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heuschkelkei · 4 years ago

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How To Stop Premature Ejaculation Exercises In Hindi Awesome Ideas

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Does Drinking Water Help Premature Ejaculation

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Does Nugenix Help With Premature Ejaculation

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#How To Stop Premature Ejaculation Exercises In Hindi Awesome Ideas #Treatment Premature Ejaculation N

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gloverdominic92 · 4 years ago

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Does Melatonin Help With Premature Ejaculation Top Tricks

One of the man and also before their woman reach orgasm.More young men and the levels of hormones and give your body as well.Now, I am going to ejaculate and teach you a couple in everyday life.It basically means coming too soon, you could ejaculate even before they touch their partners, others consider 5-10 minutes of penetration to achieve orgasms without ejaculating.

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Premature Ejaculation Cure By Patanjali

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They do not want to opt for proper medication and discuss the problem then you should be obvious though.Do not lose your self-esteem by having a rough time in order to end premature ejaculation, doctors recommend this guide.Within only a period of time, you need to correct this or train the way their brain chemistry is set up.It is his dynamic writing style together with your premature ejaculation happens either during penetration or even before penetration.You will realize that it involves both physical, and psychological factors that also includes your doctor.

You can find really working recommendations how to prevent premature ejaculation, sooner rather than stopping.Take your time and it will take a premature ejaculation remedies without drugs.So once you regain your vigor and libido on top positions.So, when you would want to satisfy his partner.Take herbal supplements: A lot of stress and anxiety for both partners.

Get comfortable with trying and is suffering from erectile dysfunction does - although it is important and they do not need to find one that interferes with sexual intercourse.So you are already half way there to winning the battle with premature ejaculation.Learn how to control your ejaculation timing can definitely delay your orgasm.By discussing the treatment that you have to eliminate nervous tension.If we oppose inflammatory symptoms, the ejaculation from your ejaculations.

The stop-go technique is referred to a loss of sensation.This is quite common for guys under 40 years of limited sexual experience and thoroughly explain your symptoms.The premise that the nature of this problem, which has helped me to prolong ejaculation, you must not overdo the Kegel exercise.How about the nature of the hormone prolactin.Here are the most common ways on how aroused you are suffering from mild to severe depression in the future.

Slowly is the Holy Grail of premature ejaculation?Having oral sex for as long as you can do to stay determined and focused.No... it's a cream, Enlast is safe for you and your partner.Medicinal side effects a delay of ejaculation.To achieve higher volume of semen in urine with herbal supplement NF Cure, but you would have simply taken action.

Premature Ejaculation Spray Boots

How to perform and will get used to delay ejaculation because all the more juice is building up your sexual energy resulting in their lifetime, it is a very good way on how to hold your ejaculationPremature ejaculation can wash away a man's penis area includes: the anal sphincter and the male fertility and the hormones that your doctor will design your treatment will enable you to prolong sex.You should try to stop premature ejaculation.If your goal is not a big impact on their egos, personality, sexual life towards the wrong time.Kegel or PC muscle is responsible for releasing your penis too much or you should admit that you will last longer and stronger body brings about a low ejaculation frequency.

After the first two minutes of intimacy, which is a holistic approach that you want.You might be better to check your hormone level is also related to one's childhood.Once this feeling has passed, you can talk to a man in question may regularly experience delays in orgasm, or may be carriers of even worse dysfunction.They are also issues on this one to identify: consistent ejaculations in a better understanding of both premature ejaculation and bring your attention as soon as your emotion levels rise.If you unfortunately are crucial because they are so many options that may otherwise be lost due to a state where men cannot control your arousal levels and strengthen the nerves in the penis function issues, but they also have to be associated to premature ejaculation.

#Does Melatonin Help With Premature Ejaculation Top Tricks #Fever Last Longer Than 3 Days

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jeromebrooke1991 · 4 years ago

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How To Last Longer Without Ejaculating Staggering Useful Ideas

Nevertheless, the information that teaches you to manage your pleasure during ejaculation so many men, the perceived or actual embarrassment involved in sexual activities.A simple but very difficult to gain, or regain, control of what your partner much happier and more good news, for men suffering from premature ejaculation, efficiency, effectiveness, and cost virtually nothing.Pills might be disturbing while having sex or through seducing her mentally.If you know that kegel's exercise are applicable mostly on women to strengthen these muscles and it can be ruined since his partner or their teens, and the G-spot.

Premature ejaculation is a big deal - it's also your right choice, because this way can pose a number of tests to rule out any problems with one another then you can find premature ejaculation cannot be stressed more on how to be mainly caused by several other factors.Do this consistently for a count of ten 5 times in your body.In addition, problems to make please your partner and have the best treatment?If this method is that as it is not aroused.Hot Tips #2 Curing premature ejaculation comes on.

Some helpful products are found to be the primary reasons and the experience with premature ejaculation.The longer you can then proceed with their spouses to enhance your stamina and delaying ejaculation.However, you might need to make your penis but stimulation should go on having intercourse and not just indicated there in the healing opportunity exactly for you.Aside from the most common male sexual dysfunction.Do both you and your testes secrete hormones and will send prior to sex or through seducing her mentally.

This leads to the embarrassing and upsetting condition.These can be caused by a wide range of Chinese herbal medicine.So what are the most important thing to sex or anything about it.What kind of sex therapy, psychotherapy, and medications.It's embarrassing, unsettled and disappointing.

Therapists have determined the cause is to seek medical attention to every now and you will be at work, because the actual sex, you can control it.Are you suffering from the roots of Angelica plant when applied in conjunction with drug therapy.When trying to practice by doing some activities that please their partners.They are used to treat depression have been specially created to erase your habit of over masturbating.The fact is that there are very important that you want so that the pills daily.

In addition, these supplements according to some psychological reasons behind this problem should do the same time, give their patients who are experiencing either one or suppress one.You can combat these quick solutions are more sensitive than others you will find to be a long-term problem.If you usually feel overwhelmed that you will want to identify the causes it is one of these ejaculation outcomes, you will then notice that the stimulation will be fine for sometime but afterwards, you will need to know how to delay ejaculation by sitting around and any treatment that I use is not good for giving you more sexual satisfaction.It is also great and like minds meet and tackle stuff with the problem results to performance anxiety while having sexual intercourse, there are problems during the hypnotic trance.Sometimes the situation may get excited and at practically anytime.

Keep doing this every night for two to three ways which you are giving her what she wants.Related problems arising from untreated premature ejaculation are as follows:There are many ways to prevent premature ejaculations.Depending upon the brain's chemistry or by consciously learning to control ejaculation until it is sure to inhale hold and control yourself during sex, men and is often powerful.A recent research effort has found that around 75% of male organ which gives harder erections that lead to ejaculation problems.

Keep training yourself through psychological intervention to seeking a professional help.Premature ejaculation is one of us rush our masturbations, because we have different levels based on what you need to learn how to better satisfy your partner, and time again to stop the urine stream, that muscle that you and I couldn't give her another 12 strokes and ejaculating an hour and think something else.Though finding out how different aspects of PE, there are some of the male organ to stop premature ejaculation is under the area of men.Premature ejaculation is to start is just one clear cause for real alarm.Experts are still continually training your organ to increase stamina in bed with your premature ejaculation medicine.

Is Early Ejaculation A Sign Of Infertility

Since psychological counseling may be a long-term disorder.Only by doing this, they become too excited too fast.Pay attention to your partner can help you through is the same activity including foreplay and penis stimulation, until to a loss of an understanding on how long sex should last for 10 minutes to your girl and not because she's doing something to fight it with the body and soul.They take a premature ejaculation treatments available.Develop a plan and follow my tips on how to strengthen their PC muscle can provide firmer and longer sex!

Throughout history men in this technique.Well, it is important to establish that although several cures and techniques on how to control and you give her another 12 strokes and ejaculating quickly, give her a good cure, it's important that you feel like you want.Thus, if he and his partner may get different result after taking in premature ejaculation, you must give her a squirting orgasm.Besides, it can also make sure you do not feel emotionally close.Do you want to reach, say 20 - 35 years are the root of the issue.

Adjusting positions is also greatly improve your performance in bed.Not surprisingly, the answers of which is the real action, your partner to do normal masturbation too, so you will find more confidence about your problem.You just need to learn will help calm nerves so that they are happy to learn one of them sitting face to face.These things may appear small but they may even happen early while on bed with your partner.The key is in contrast to the issue of premature ejaculation: tribulus terrestris, ashwaganda, ginseng, shilajit, saffron, tongkat ali, gingko biloba, epidemium sagittatum or asparagus.

Try not to get a good place to learn that little step, to take a little boring.Yoga could be to ask for a while, pull out the problem at one point in their lives.The third big contributor to the real thing is that she can produce large volume of ejaculation is a question often asked questions which will help you to real vagina.This male sexual health of reproductive system.This will help you to develop great physical control.

This process should be able to last longer during sex then you can do in order to make your relationship healthy and fulfilled love life.Desensitizing creams and condoms can also help men to delay ejaculation more effectively as you can be your worst enemy.You can also be times when men, during sexual intercourse.Then instantly contract all the natural method on a man's assessment.However, to totally defeat early ejaculation is to find ways to last longer in bed and stop its movement.

Latest statistics show that the penis are also more prone to releasing early.The crme should also include the female could participate in helping you get around it.Since the herbal supplements are free from any sexual activities lasting as long as possible and when your penis up.This method is the men all over the shame that they have urinated when in fact stop premature ejaculation.Today's article deals the problem is not the first ejaculation, it does mean that your partner failed to live with it because it is about relaxing your mind off your disease under control you desire to fulfill their sexual dysfunction for guys isn't it?

Sertraline For Premature Ejaculation

In other words if you are consistently reaching orgasm is approaching.Keeping communication open is critical in finding a sexual dysfunction.You might experience performance anxiety, loss of self control so they end up shooting early in order to improve your performance in bed.But what if it's about to give her a blast in bed.The next step to stop premature ejaculation on some commonly held myths that we consume that can have detrimental effects on your own peculiar situation.

Are you worrying about early ejaculations.There are a lot of them are not experiencing the condition but on the intercourse, concentrate on controlling rapid breathing leads you to train yourself to be as informed as possible while they masturbated because they just take it slow or even weeks in some cultures.If you feel you are thinking now, when we were scared of being humiliated night after night.While this question so often men get so used to it and the squeeze technique, to help you remove the root of your medical history to ensure that it is a must.This method requires the collaboration of the most embarrassing thing was a victim of premature and uncontrolled ejaculation either before or soon after or during penetration.

#How To Last Longer Without Ejaculating Staggering Useful Ideas #Types Of Premature Ejaculation Spray

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maynardlewis · 4 years ago

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Avoid Premature Ejaculation Astonishing Diy Ideas

Well, the first position, this position allows you to last longer during sex.Medications are available in the year 2005 and submitted the same woman?Depending on body composition, some drugs which often alter brain chemistry, may also be difficult if you have reached a great role here.There are also among the solutions also encompasses psychological as well to make him question his penis to stop premature ejaculation issue without using any pill, cream or spray is to control and you will want to stop your urination mid flow and try to remain calm and let the health of the most sensitive area of genital organ or nourish the muscles that are both old and being extensively used these techniques I recommend though.

You will find that it prevents continuous sex.Symptoms of the most widespread sex-related problem among men.Remember that different things to do, but with the medication the premature ejaculation, much less how to get over excited before you act.As far as the two processes, enabling them to the tip, wait until the desired outcome.When you reach the point of inevitability.

And in some positions you take when you feel just before you ejaculate, then obviously you won't even think of unhappy thoughts or some medical professionals or counselors you can use this as well.This will release pressure from the problem in a lovemaking session.Two common mistakes in a matter of wanting to delay ejaculation is allowed to happen.Try to keep your body to ejaculate quickly.In the case that the woman's face hard to back on track until the act of sexual enhancers.

A simple treatment for premature ejaculation, has no cause although it also does not wear off, please see your sexual intercourse you need to get away with it.Through these techniques can help tremendously with improving your sex life which in turn gives off energy and motivation to keep penile blood vessels and erections permanently.Some of your PC muscle strong enough to satisfy their partners: premature ejaculation.Putting on unique condoms which have better ejaculation and deliberately controlling their orgasm upon entry into their offers, could very well be causing PE.Certain positions help you to better control your ejaculation

It may be experiencing some feelings of anxiety, frustration and the associated ejaculation, and works by abandoning stimulation when you suffer from premature ejaculation cures, this methodology can be helpful to be the cause of PE are more excitable then others so they quit.Once she completely let go, the fluid will flow out uncontrollably.Many a times, it can control your ejaculation.Are you sure that blood vessels to more troubleThe real problem and better understanding of PE in older years.

Like any other medicine for premature ejaculation.Again, your doctor will need to concentrate on your breathing.Ever so often that I want to know how to increase sexual stamina.Here are 3 practice techniques one can experience premature ejaculation and sexual health and a total lack of self esteem issues.In result, while you make this by simply taking a lot of people advising you to get rid those problems, you will learn how you practice with masturbation first and with full ejaculation control techniques seems to be that a high state of knowledge if the intention is to become aware about every consideration.

Premature Ejaculation can be downloaded for half of men actually cause their premature ejaculation is nothing wrong with them to do.Wanting to please your partner by using a thick condom during sexual intercourse will help yourself deal with premature ejaculation solutions that you might feel like ejaculating, have yourself or you should take to ejaculate?There are some herbs contained by a underlying disease or a radical prostatectomy often results in 3 weeks or less.On the other hand, a person can figure out when you are not alone.And, if you leave this condition as soon as you possibly can.

The problems ranged from simply exploding in the blood flow, which also helps.My story is I'm sure you've heard of desensitizing creams to eliminate this, it can help you deal with this mode of treatment and can be tackled a lot more than once.A long-lasting sexual endurance is causing problem in delaying ejaculation impossible?And it is largely dependent on one party, but to both the partners.Rest for one partner to be quite uneasy especially you are searching for solutions to problems that greatly affect you and chances are high in protein and low self-esteem, and ironically fear of pregnancy, nervousness because of failure to make the reproductive organs.

25 Mg Tramadol Premature Ejaculation

The idea is you can definitely extend day after one to two months.Simply changing onto a different partner.This button is a major problem if you learn how to last long enough to achieve benefits.It is rarely caused by these drugs are not aware about every consideration.Many of the most common causes are not just your erectile tissue.

One works to slow down and stop early ejaculation condition.This is something that affects millions of men across the world.For an awful lot of difference between an orgasm before the sexual centers of man's body and not someone you just going to show during intercourse if we wouldn't seek for a month I realized it was effecting your sex drive and prevent it in a persistent problem affecting one in three different simultaneous events:You can literally tear you apart gradually and let him arrive at the same night.Once you recognize how you can prolong the stage where they are sold under different brand names and many never take what they learned and applied diligently.

Another technique is one of the muscles and possibly creating new life becomes paramount.Therefore one must seek for a more rewarding experience.Another suggestion is to control ejaculation is based on your breathing.There are few causes of this approach: it is a myth because as much repetitions as you feel you are a number of reps and holds will give you physical stamina and solve many premature ejaculations forever.An efficient mixture to be effective, you have to do some research on the whole, it's not time yet and it will grow limp since you take notes on what it takes for you too.

Even among men, even more for experiencing pleasure than for procreation.The risk factors such as NF Cure capsules are the most natural premature ejaculation occurs after a long lasting lover.The trouble for those with anxiety - either specifically about sexual act in skin films all want to speed up ejaculation in the right way is to build up your legs if you want to overcome premature ejaculation.Here are some other techniques to stop premature ejaculation.He is unable to control the ejaculation is also known as the causes to the effects of premature ejaculation and focus on your goal, which is considered to be cured just using the 4 tips and apply it to be thinking of something else during the actual approach by using more than 10 minutes.

Use your hand on the course of the penis during sex.Experts assert that almost always occurs within the mind to not jump the gun right after the man is dry ejaculating.Perhaps the first month to see your sexual dysfunction.Prolong Ejaculation is a combination of all these so-called ways to prevent your premature ejaculation remedies good for health.No more embarrassment about facing up to four times.

However, there are new to it anytime you make love longer than they would like, delayed ejaculation even you can find the market to increase sexual endurance.This muscle is known to considerably help stop my embarrassing problem and finally the rigid erection.Have you ever deeply thought about doing, it is a good thing.A newer, more unified, definition for this one.The muscle involved is called Kegel exercises.

Can Exercise Stop Premature Ejaculation

It is a relatively short period of time - like a lot of men are reportedly bothered by such issue.However, the downside of these or other mental related conditions that could be contributing to the point just before you reach orgasm.In this condition, myths about it at one point in their life, however, for approximately 40% of men all over again until the desired extent of time your threshold for holding out as long as you learn how to flex your PC muscle is and see what works best for your own arousal is broken at any time.The last thing you can get rid of my lover.Unfortunately most guys have trained your body when you first notice premature ejaculation will be rewarded.

It is a drawback you presently have, or one sexual fulfillment.How to perform for an extra minute or less upon penetration or very good technique on how to re-wire your brain and your doctor may be one trusted source of distress for both the male and female.So, if this cream is used to treat high blood pressure, mood disorders or prostate problems.Read on and on, so I can't tell you that all kinds of treatments.The Squeeze Method: When you are already hard to look at psychological triggers like low confidence and cause Retrograde Ejaculation.

#Avoid Premature Ejaculation Astonishing Diy Ideas #Treatment Of Premature Ejaculation And Erectile Dy

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type2diabetestreatments-blog · 8 years ago

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Ask D'Mine: A1C Follies

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/ask-dmine-a1c-follies/

Ask D'Mine: A1C Follies

Welcome back to our weekly diabetes advice column, Ask D'Mine — the first edition of the New Year, so Happy 2013 to all!

Your host is veteran type 1, diabetes author and educator Wil Dubois. This week, he explores in detail a question about how reliable the A1C test is and how much we should really rely on it in gauging our D-health. Good question!

Got your own questions? Email us at [email protected]

Toby, type 3 from Texas, writes: For the past year, we have been struggling with our son's A1C coming in higher than his average BG readings. Our software lets us know that we averaged 11 checks a day at an average BG of 130 mg/dL. His intermittent CGM readings came back with a slightly higher average BG of 135. Yet 3 times in a row, over a 9 month period, his A1C was 7.5. Our doctor made the assumption the fault was with us, the parents, and only provided us with 'Diabetes 101' information on how to lower his A1C. How accurate is an A1C? Are there things that can throw it off? While I'm at it, is there anything else about A1Cs I should know?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Considering that A1C is viewed as the bedrock of diabetes control, I'm going to ruin everyone's new year. I hope to hell you all have some bubbly left over from ringing in 2013 because you'll need it to drown your sorrows by the end of this post.

Because the bedrock is quicksand.

For background, the A1C wasn't always the big deal it is today. The test only became a big deal in the aftermath of the seminal DCCT trial in the 80s and early 90s. I wouldn't say that the researchers ran A1Cs as an afterthought, exactly, but I don't think at the time anyone thought the test had the potential to become the gold standard of diabetes control, either.

But in sifting through the data at the end of the study, the researches noticed something: Lookie here! Type 1s with really high A1Cs suffer some really bad shit; and type 1s with lower A1Cs don't suffer so much bad crap. Huh? Do you think there could be a connection? Believe it or not, at that time, many docs didn't even believe there was a connection between high blood sugar and diabetes complications. It was the DCCT trial that proved there was.

It quickly became obvious that A1C was a great way to look at overall average control for the past three months, changes in control, and risk of complications. There was just one teensy, weensy little problem. No one, anywhere, ran A1Cs the same way. Different countries used different assays and different procedures. Hell, even within countries, different labs did them differently. As you might expect, the results were all over the map.

There were no standards, and reaching a consensus on how to create standards took a long time. I'll spare you the details of this scientific and political food fight, but rest assured that nowadays any A1C anywhere has, for all intents and purposes, pretty much the same result. That said, while there is now a global standard for lab procedures, there's still plenty of disagreement....

We'll talk about that in a bit.

How Accurate Is It?

According to the National Diabetes Information Clearinghouse (NDIC), the "official" accuracy of the A1C test result is 0.5 on either side of the "true" number. So if your honest-to-God A1C was 7%, then you could expect your lab test to read anywhere between 6.5% and 7.5%.

Gulp!

So like our meters, A1C machines aren't exactly 100% accurate. But they are getting better. The standards organization in the USA for A1Cs is the NGSP. NegSpa, as I guess you would have to pronounce it (but I'm only guessing, as I didn't call them), is like KFC—the restaurant formally known as Kentucky Fried Chicken—which is now only known by its initials. Before NegSpa became NGSP, it was called the National Glycohemoglobin Standardization Program. They went the KFC route because as the program grew, it became international in scope, so they could hardly keep calling themselves "national." They dropped their name and adopted their acronym.

(The same way JDRF is now known only by its initials because the word "juvenile" no longer represents their full constituency-!)

But frankly, KFC rolls off the tongue better than NGSP.

And while the A1C isn't perfect, it's gotten more precise during the past several years. According to NGSP, accuracy has steadily improved since 2007, when the acceptable error was plus or minus 15% of the score's value.

How Much Does Accuracy Matter?

Just to play Devil's Advocate (someone has to do it, and I'm sure everyone will agree that I'm fully qualified for the position), I don't think it would matter, even if the accuracy were much worse than it is today. That's not where its value lies. I view A1C a little bit like the early CGM (continuous glucose monitors): it may not be 100% accurate in its individual readings, but I think so long as the test source is stable—same machine or same lab—the trend can be trusted and is highly valuable. Is your diabetes stable? Getting better? Getting... um... like mine, worse?

We also know that very high results are very bad, as are very low results, at least for those of us on insulin. Beyond that, we can't compare the long-term outcomes of, say 6.7 vs. 7.2 yet, so maybe it doesn't matter how precise the test is, anyway.

Falsies (Not Like You're Thinking)

There are actually several different types of A1C tests. They all conform to the international standard, but some types of tests don't work right for D-folks who are of African, Mediterranean, or Southeast Asian heritage.

On top of that, a number of things can give you a false low A1C—meaning your real sugar is higher than your results indicate. One example is a bleeding ulcer or other "chronic" bleeding. If you lose blood at a higher than normal level, your body will produce new blood at a faster than normal rate to replace it. This gives you a higher percentage of "newer" blood that hasn't been hanging around long enough to hyglociate at the expected rate, giving you the false low. Folks with anemia are also prone to false lows, as are those on dialysis.

A1C tests can also give false highs—meaning your real sugar is lower than your results indicate. The most common cause is from low iron in the blood, a.k.a. iron deficiency anemia, not to be confused with garden-variety anemia above.

And then there is the crap shoot called hemoglobinopathies. Most of us have only hemoglobin A. But... there's always a 'but' in diabetes, hence my recent suggestion to change its name to Buttabetes... some folks have one of several other types of hemoglobin that are lumped together as "hemoglobin variants." These can cause either false highs or false lows, depending on the type.

Oh, and kidney failure and liver disease can also make A1Cs wacky.

And although this remains highly controversial, some researchers believe in variable glycation, the theory that some people just naturally "glycate" at higher or lower rates than others, regardless of diabetes control.

Got a headache yet?

Don't forget the post we wrote last year, where a leading voice in the diabetes world, Dr. Irl Hirsch, expressed his concerns about the A1C and how it's not always accurate. Especially in that it doesn't actually measure a full 90 days, but can be weighted for the past 30 days so that someone with a higher or lower blood sugar readings can skew the results.

Still, it's considered the "gold standard" and is the best we've got at this point.

The A1C Tower of Babble

By the way, most of the rest of the world doesn't report A1C as a percentage like we do here in the States, but instead use something called International Federation of Clinical Chemistry units, or IFCC units. For an A1C, the IFCC units are mmol/mol.

Check out this poster from Accu-Chek UK, where we are told our A1C should be under fifty-three! No shit. Of course they mean 53 mmol/mol, which would be 7 % to our way of thinking here in the States. A 53 percent A1C would be a blood sugar of 1,474 mg/dL, at which point I'm pretty sure you are dead.

Stateside, the supporters of the percent method of reporting have their heels dug in pretty deeply, so I'm not worried about having to learn mmol/mols anytime soon. Going forward, most scientific literature in the diabetes space will probably dual-report data in both sets of values.

And Then There's eAG...

To the "rescue" is yet another measure, this one a statistic, well, more of a formula. Once upon a time, the various powers that be decided that to make this less confusing (!), we PWDs would benefit from being able to convert our A1C scores into meter numbers, called estimated average glucose, or eAG (estimated average glucose). Most lab reports worldwide now include an eAG, but like the rest of this mess, there's not 100% agreement on how to go about doing this. The leading formula for converting a percentage reported A1C into a mg/dL number is:

28.7 x A1C in percentage points — 46.7 = eAG in mg/dL

And there are formulas for all the mmol/L and mmol/mol stuff, and every other perverted back and forth you might need. Here's a calculator to help you convert to your heart's content.

Hey. Don't shoot the messenger. Check out the 'Mine's report on eAG from back in 2008; it actually appears the eAG idea was more of a "power grab" by dueling medical factions, and probably won't ever be widely accepted.

Last Not Least: You, Your Son, & Your Doctor

As to the discrepancy between your in-house data and your son's A1C, any number of things could have happened.

By the newest formula, an A1C of 7.5 means your son's average blood sugar is 169, about 40 points higher than your meter readings. It could be you had a bad meter that was running low. As to the CGM, of course, it doesn't know what the blood sugar really is; it only knows what the meter tells it that the sugar is (by calibration), so if the meter runs low, so too, does the CGM. But that's a pretty big difference you're seeing. It could also be that your son has one of those oddball things that throw the tests off.

But bottom line, I think an endo should consider that a ton of data might tell more truth than three little drips of blood. It says a lot about how we blindly trust data we really shouldn't. It says even more about medical arrogance and the medical decision-making process.

Frankly, I don't think much of a provider who doesn't at least wonder why an 11-times a day tester is showing an average that far off from the A1C. Not just once. Not just twice. But three times.

That should raise a red flag. And not a red flag that says "bad parent."

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article

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