#open stage evening
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Yesterday I introduced my new dystopian short story collection on our small open reading stage and the feedback was quite motivating😌.
30 people were listening and I was really nervous😆.
I hope to publish the collection some day.
It is inspired by Yoko Taro sensei's NieR Gestalt and Automata video games.
The photo is my own and it shows the small book table we had.
#open stage evening#writing#open reading#writeblr#german writer#writer's life#books#german fantasy writer#inspired by Yoko Taro's NieR
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j… jesus oppa ;____;
#ashsksjsks jesus k-idol era… and when he does his comeback stage…..???#i just want you to know the last thing i saw before my plane took off was an “i’m going to jesus cafe” message from my grandma#and the first thing i saw when i landed fifteen hours later yesterday was 130+ unread messages on kakaotalk#and i opened it and most of it was cutesy photos my grandma had sent me of her and white jesus#also: she is not even christian…. her friends were like wanna come and she was just like WHY NOT?#also… if you’re interested… in japan there’s a manga called 聖☆おにいさん (translated as ‘saint young men’)#which focuses on the lives of roomates jesus and buddha#(also there are fancomics based on this… including. of course. jesus/judas)#christmas
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I want to be in the room when this massage happens
#i activate kuya's ultimate and roll my eyes#'how much damage could a saboteur POSSIBLY do?'#[my scoff is cut off by Dante's shocked screams]#don't even know why i thought SR kuya could get away with a little fantasyland#i built him up. like every other SR. why did i let him go that hard on dante 😅#too distracted by the novel config of kuYaKuYaku#i was surprised when i opened this stage#wondered why dante suddenly needed a massage#on this historically fishyokai inhabited island?? in the middle of the event??#bold request from a man in ass-slapping range#i mean sure thing sun lord#i can get you your island massage#but that just means you're gonna get a yakumo kuya rubdown and i don't know how you'll feel about that#badly. apparently. (despair)#nu carnival olivine#nu carnival kuya#nu carnival dante#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival
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“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rise leo#listen it’s morning now and I haven’t slept so bear with me for the sudden unwarranted lyric analysis haha#a lotttt of the lyrics work so well for him#not even just the overall theme the words just work great#first lyric is literally ‘I can’t help it if I make a scene’ which is one to one with ‘Leo’s makin a scene’ from the rottmnt opening like-#‘I’m turning heads and I’m stopping traffic’ -> Leo has not made it a secret that he values his looks a LOT#-not just his looks but also his ability to get people’s attention#‘when I pose they scream when I joke they laugh’ -> I feel like this speaks for itself#-posing and joking for the crowd and himself#‘I’ve got them dazzled like a stage magician’ -> works both with Leo’s canonical love of magicians and his aptitude with tricks in general#‘well everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you’ -> I just think it’d be cute to imagine his friends here just as his bros#‘I got you and you and you’ = ‘my brainy guy my smashing guy and eats peanut butter with his fingers guy’#‘haven’t you noticed that I’m a star?’ -> Leo loves attention and especially loves when his feats and efforts are acknowledged#+ he loves glam rock and sci-fi and being a champ and - listen he has a LOT of star symbolism with him#‘haven’t you noticed I made it this far’ - Leo is well aware of how dangerous situations get and thinks himself only a part of a whole#-so hey it’s notable that he’s survived this long yeah?#‘now everyone can see me burning’ -> self-sacrificing with his family bearing witness + all his star and flame symbolism in general#+ how attention naturally goes to him - including bad attention where his mistakes are highlighted and burn bright#also even the limo lyric-#obviously this boy has never and will never own a limo but one of his main secondary colors IS pink so even that#okay that one is just a joke but he would#(on that note though I think the other colors the boys gravitate to outside THEIR color are fun to notice)#I don’t actually know too much about Steven universe beyond the songs and some eps but I like the music#and this just came to my tired mind so here you go anyone who’s interested#may draw something with these lyrics dunno yet#it’s a good song in any case even though it’s super short
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cats: in bath robes
the nhl: well i guess we have to put provactive "lively" music over it
2024 nhl global series finland game 1 | 11.1.24 (x)
#niko mikkola#eetu luostarinen#nate schmidt#matthew tkachuk#anton lundell#gustav forsling#aaron ekblad#carter verhaeghe#sam reinhart#aleksander barkov#mackie samoskevich#florida panthers#2425#swaggy shirtless jumpscare?#sometimes i do forget he opened up the robe as he walked into the hall and i got duly reminded of it (i screamed)#the music choice...#i feel like im waiting for my coffee order in a mundane coffeeshop and notice the stairs leading down into the basement level.#the entrance is cover by a beaded curtain and im curious about the muffled music.#i pull back the beaded curtain and the muffled music is brassy. theres a stage.#and oh my god i just walked into a speakeasy racy burlesque show and the girls on stage just- oh jesus christ oh fuck oh fuck#and i skedaddle back up the stairs like hell is nipping at my heels AND I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE#does that make sense#alternatively you know that suite life on deck episode its exactly like how that cabaret episode made me feel#IM SORRY THE MUSIC CHOICE WHAT 😭😭😭😭#ENDING WITH SWAGGY IS DEVIOUS#STARTING WITH MIKKSY IS EVEN WORSE#IM JUST A POOR PATHETIC THING PLEASE DONT DO THIS TO MEEEE
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☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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do i actually think luka is "pushing" ivantill together here? no not really.
but is the concept of fudanshi luka too funny to give up? also yes.
#i think its soooo funny that hes petting both of them though#this is the man that acted innocently cute to the girl that he liked even though he was 3 years older than her!!!!!#what is it about ivantill that makes you want to treat them like juniors luka!!!!!#i like the concept of luka bullying the juniors he likes though#luka: hey junior bring me a drink.#till: (cant this guy get his own drink....)#ivan: (i want a drink from till.......)#till being like “you always make me do your stuff!!!” (its favoritism)#my eyes have opened to ivantilluka love angle#these shapes are sudeenly getting real complicated guys#ivantill#tilluka#lukatill#ivanlukatill#ivantilluka#either way ivans on top?! is this what it means to be a yaoi king?!#ivan alnst#till alnst#luka alnst#alnst#alien stage#cafe collab#alnst official art
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Innuendo - with David Tennant and Michael Sheen in Staged
#david tennant#michael sheen#staged#bbc staged#this isn't even all of the innuendo sprinkled through there#some is open to interpretation of course#georgia tennant#anna lundberg#flirty boys#stuff i posted
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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If we ever get Sydcarmy endgame I want to see them crack jokes with each other more, especially during a sex scene if we ever get one, and to see them make each other giggle and fall to pieces and shit. I want them to start sitting next to each other at family, holding hands after the meal or patting/rubbing each other's knees below the table. I want them to throw an arm over each other's shoulders as they brainstorm menu ideas. I want, before they get together, and after they've signed documents to give Sydney an official stake in the restaurant and she shakes the Berzattos' hands, I want Carmy's handshake with her to linger on a little too long and leave him awkward and red as a beet. I want Natalie, Richie, Tina, Ebra, Marcus, Sweeps, Manny, the new staff, Uncle Jimmy, Donna, Sydney's Dad, POTUS, the Vatican, Oprah, and the internet to clock the soft and loving looks that they furtively shoot each other. I want them to have full blown arguments where they don't hold anything back and see them compromise and kiss and make up. I want them to meet each other's families. I want-
*GUNSHOT SOUNDS- CAR SPEEDING OFF*
#sydcarmy#sydney x carmy#the bear fx#the bear hulu#the bear#carmen berzatto#jeremy allen white#sydney adamu#ayo edebiri#and i know it's not too much to ask for at LEAST SOME of the above because that table scene let me know the writers/showrunners are on ao3#watched the show because of gifsets of these two not even 5 days ago and it did not disappoint!#the early stages of the second coming of richonne i fear 🥴#chefs kiss#and for the folks who don't want a shift to romance between the two - this is a DRAMEDY; there's a ton of comic and dramatic potential in ❤#why can't we have a good time laughing at/with the neurotic cooking nerds grappling with growing feelings for each other#in the hella risky- high stress restaurant business that one of their mobster uncles helped them to open???#give me the two of them commiserating over the difficulties in each other's past#give me the two of them encouraging each other to open up more and get into therapy#give me carmy getting to see inside sydney's room for the 1st time- donning one of her headscarves#and him batting his eyelashes at her coquettishly like a besotted fool#let her cringe and screw up her face at him and beg him to stop but still have her double over in laughter#let my blorbos be in love goddamnit!#“give me love! love divine! please forgive me now i see that i've been-”*multiple gunshots and sustained rocket fire*#give me carmy admitting to syd that he thought-“oh no she's hot!” when she 1st came to stage at the beef#and syd being incredulous but cheesin' real hard saying-“bro so you mean like- i had you shaking like squidward?!”#give them squidward and squilliam fancyson couples tees-*collects a shovel to the head*#give me sydney roasting carm for forgetting what UPS meant when he met her-*gurgling noises as c storer pushes me into the atlantic*#give me carm finding out from syd's dad that he never visited the beef/ she lied in her 'interview' and let carm not let her live it down-#fuck it let richie be the best man at their wedding-*gets carpet bombed* - fin#storer & calo look me in the 👁👄👁 and tell me that under the table scene wasn't “pillow talk before pillow talk”-*tag limit reached*
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what if he were italian.
#overwatch#ramattra overwatch#ramattra#overwatch skin concept#overwatch fan skin#sal art#DANGEROUS can of worms i have opened by figuring out how to make skin concepts#vorrei carnevale battle pass Now Please. grazie.#we got masquerade reaper like years ago who is Technically ?????? hes like several references in one#surface level hes got le maschere e costume e that whole deal#but then hes specifically a reference to edgar allen poe's Red Death (which DID happen during carnival but i digress)#but then hes EVEN MORE SPECIFICALLY a reference to the design of Red Death from stage productions of Phantom of the Opera#(its super obvious in the concept art for that skin too)#i know the carnival costume designs are so overly detailed and complicated#but please. please. i would give everything.#i was not fkn figuring out his nemesis form that thang is COMPLICATED.
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jeff blim as the narrator is so cunty hes having the time of his life!! he makes the whole thing so fun!! if theres one thing that man will do it’s serve physicality EVERY TIME
#jeff blim is the epitome of stage acting#even when hes dancing as the narrator it just has this flair to it#his delivery his fourth wall breaks MWAH#everyone adores his characters where he gets to be off the charts feral but i love the ones w sarcasm and tongue in cheek commentary#dont get me started on the eyeliner as well i wont shut up about it#im like. bitter with gender envy#looooove it when jeff blim gets to prance around on a stage and talk to the audience#he said yeah you know what this show needs? PIZZAZZ! and he was right#the narrator at the very end jumping into the spotlight <3 mouthing ‘the wanking couch?’ to the audience <3 dealing w ragweed <3#hm im starting to think maybe the narrator is my favourite character………#starkid#tilda rambling#jeff blim#cinderella's castle#cinderella’s castle spoilers#cinderellas castle spoilers#with a character like the narrator the options on how to play it are so open ended it can almost seem overwhelming#somehow he picked the perfect one
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things i feel strongly abt: being an attentive listener to the opening act. this is Not the time to be on your phone or talk to your friend !!!!! there is a person on stage baring their heart and soul out to us rn and they also know most ppl are not there for them and it is your job as a good audience member to give them this moment, to be there with them, to receive the music they are sharing with us, to move with the music, to feel it in your body. smile at them, esp if you're close to the stage. make them feel welcome and heard and seen. we are sharing a moment in time together!!!
#annoyed thinking abt some girls talking in the middle of the opening act last night and not looking at the stage#and also just. so many audience members just. sitting there woodenly. not moving at all. what. even during the main set like. HELLO???#move your body. yea this might not be moshing music but like. bop that head of yours. sway. move your arms idk man. are you FEELING anythin#concert edict. big feels abt it.#this is mostly abt when you're in a small-ish venue or close to the stage. like if you're in a massive arena it's already less personal#but a tiny-ass venue?? you BEST be giving the opener your undivided attention#vic.txt
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How did i only just realize that I sound like a teenage boy in audios????????????
That's not how i sound???
#quotidian convos#but then again my voice does sound different in various situations#and also various microphones#in my phone mic i sound like a baby#in my laptop mic i sound like a tired college student or another equivalent#i sound the best in stage microphones tho. because my voice is naturally booming and I can make it be loud to address a crowd if I want to#and bc of that i have to increase it in volume and make it clear and so my voice and pitch also becomes a bit...#not higher but brighter#and my voice changes in different situations too#when i'm at home i wont bother so I let my voice fall down deep and its usually deep in mornings and evenings#when i'm at school its higher and either gets higher or lower or quieter or louder depending on who I'm talking to#when i'm at a professional or networking gathering my voice changes dramatically to an extroverted one (call it my Brucie Wayne Persona)#fun fact. that voice is also the same one I imagine myself talking in online lol. except its more open cuz social media is vastly different#to networking dinners and stage events
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kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once
im not even joking btw
bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^
#mob psycho 100#mp100#shou suzuki#sho suzuki#reigen arataka#i know sho doesnt actually BELIEVE his dad is back but even just that split second reaction is a weird one to have over your dad coming bac#he was like 'say sike rn... wait that aint right.'#shou watching them on the bottom floor while being isolated up in the corner at the end of the third stage play. and saying#'it's nice that they're so easygoing.' all wistfully???? im killing somebody#reigen calling him a poor thing and worrying about him DESPITE knowing his mischievous ways. ugh#gonna quote my reaction to clip rq#'bro [shou] heard him [reigen] talking about guardianship over children and making sure theyre safe over anything else and was like-#'this is getting too real for me i gotta make fun of him immediately.''#idc WHAT yall think to ME that was such a thick layer of defense mechanism that even though reigen's guardianship speech wasnt directed#at Sho he still felt the intrinsic urge to shoot back because of what hes experienced with people who are SUPPOSED to be protecting him.#would yall believe me if i told you i am totally insane#there are SO MANY THINGS. woven into their interactions that really enhance it#its totally silly! yes! but also! it is a legitimate ARC of GROWTH within their relationship! we watch as Sho starts off#with no trust in the man at all (although for a pretty good reason)#and over time he realizes hes NOT total shitbag#of course this doesnt mean hes completely vulnerable with him. its easy to infer that his distrust in certain people is formed from#a lifetime of being let down and incapability of dependency on certain trusted adults. his defense must be so heavily built up#even after gaining some sort of trust from Shou Reigen will NOT be exempt from his impish defense mechanisms.#sho will not make himself emotionally available as he would then be open to being hurt by someone else he thought could trust#his 'carefree and prankish' behavior is the wall between himself and such an intense feeling of disappointment and hurt and loneliness#but i like to think hes also just silly. hehe#man that stage play huh. shoots every fatal drug directly into my bloodstream#shou's trust and father issues VS stupid conman who has the common sense to not let children be beat up by grown ass adults. who will win.#i mightve forgotten something but. i think this is pretty packed full already so i am pleased. thank you for reading <3#meowmeow art
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I keep forgetting people don't ship things in the same way I do because every time I see someone ask who in Ivantill tops my asexual self is sitting there like, y'all are in this for sex????
#sobbing everything i ship is always in a qpr way#i just get so thrown because sex never once popped up in my mind#do they even know what that is#actually i need to open up a case about this#ivantill#unshallow feelings#alnst#alien stage#{🎭•behind the scenes}
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