#oh wait I’m dying
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OMG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
DON'T GET MY HOPES UP, I'MMA LOSE IT!
SOMEONE ON TWT SAID THIS LOOK LIKE THAT ONE AO NO FLAG COVER AND IM LOSING IT
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I can’t be the only member of the unhealthily obsessed with gravity falls as a kid to unhealthily obsessed with malevolent as an adult pipeline
#yes these are some of the sketches that are old but I tricked you cause I did clean them up prior to posting#just so they like. make sense#the problem with these is that now I’m thinking about the implications and I’ve got like a whole au in my head#malevolent#my art#gravity falls#malevolent podcast#Arthur lester#John doe#dipper pines#kayne malevolent#bill cipher#anyway arthur and John circa season 2 get transported into the future and into Oregon and they wander into a shack in the woods with weird#signs looking for medical help because Arthur is once again fucking dying and dipper is like. yellow eyed BITCH oh wait no this is different#fuck what’s wrong with this British man
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10 minutes >:) also, I LIVE!!
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc fandom#tadc fanart#tadc gangle#traditional art#hahahahahaha#oopsie daisy#boy oh boy I sure do love posting frequently#yep#it sure is one of my favorite things about my self#my frequent posting of art#yes indeedy do#can wait for the ep 3#also sorry for dying#but I’m alive again#hopefully for good this time
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okay but
imagine the angst potential in “i would live for you” x “i would die for you”
and imagine they each keep their promise
imagine the one who wants to jump off decides to stay on the cliffside for the other
imagine the one who loves life more than anything decides to give it up for the other
i don’t know how to write this or flesh it out completely, but it’s a nice thought
#haikyuu#iwaoi#kagehina#kenhina#bokuaka#oh my god imagine bokuto dying and akaashi living#just realized this applies to eremika#so#eremika#eremin#attack on titan#wait wait wait#soukoku#shin soukoku#bungou stray dogs#seamoon#crk#perhaps?#i’m having too much fun torturing myself with these someone write a fic please#ao3#archive of our own#i am unwell
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denethor is said to have been greatly affected by finduilas’ death, right. and i know their marriage was a political one but i like to believe that they still loved each other. not in the ‘traditional sense’ i guess but they loved each other’s spirits, their souls. the duty (as they viewed it) to protect their people & the willpower to do it, they both shared. and so i think that more precious than love, they understood each other perfectly. as no one else could, or did. i can’t stop thinking about denethor’s grief at losing her. to love someone, and to have them understand you, but to lose them so abruptly… no wonder denethor became embittered by her death. i think he became sad too. closed-off. built even more walls around him, not wanting to be seen as vulnerable by anyone. but his anger, at what (or whom), exactly? he already broke up with god when he was young. at the universe? at his fate? to have lost her so unfairly.
i came here to talk about their love & somewhere in the middle lost myself in his grief lol. never mind, bc what is grief if not love persevering????? they loved each other. i can’t. i CAN’T get over this simple truth. the love was there. it wouldn’t have been this tragic if there’s wasn’t. the love was there. and isn’t that enough (it isn’t. but it is. IT IS). the love was there. THE LOVE WAS. THERE. sobbing. truly sobbing DON’T TOUCH ME
#i’m spitballing here. but elbereth knows i spent hours in my bed thinking about them last night. i couldn’t sleep#i’m becoming so invested in them oh my god. ohmygod they’re making me c r a z y#wait. i was thinking abt how his relationship changed w his sons after this and waiiit. WAIT a minute#is this what writers feel like when inspiration strikes suddenly im going bonkers#there’s no connection between the next sentence and what i wrote till now. well there is but trust me on this one#my brain is moving too fast i don’t have time to be coherent#so listen. so it IS implied that faramir foresaw boromir’s coming. what if#what if DENETHOR dreamt of finduilas dying. i mean i’d rather he didn’t bc THEN there would be a lot of potential for angst and his self#destructive behaviour. what if denethor DIDN’T FORESEE HER DEATH. BUT WISHED THAT HE DID.#GOD. HIM WONDERING IF HE COULD HAVE SAVED HER. DONE SOMETHING SOONER TO PREVENT HER HEALTH FROM DETERIORATING#but no. nothing he could have done would have changed what happened. THAT’S WHY it’s a tragedy. but *he* doesn’t know that#denethor and finduilas#hmm.#DO U FEEL? DO U GET ME????????#denethor#finduilas
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Decided to sketch some of those YCH ideas for warm up but they kept getting smaller as I went
Finished the papyri and then went “ok, time to do some sanses!” and stared blankly at the canvas for like six minutes
#I wanna emphasize that these can be either platonic or romantic but even STILL I hc sanses in general as just not being fans of physical#affection that much which makes character interaction things like this. difficult#maybe sledding with blue…but then I’d have to do full body…ough#ooh. sans putting the snowman’s carrot through his nasal cavity and the insert laugh while holding a snowball to imply making a snow#snow man I hate typing on the ipad dying ten thousand deaths. anyway#hmmmm#HMMM…#OH maybe I could add Pup and insert character getting tangled in Christmas tree lights that’d be cute right??#not a sans lol OUGH red is so Not a touchy guy who doesn’t participate in things it’s hard to imagine him in most seasonal situations#maybe just smth simple like insert putting a knit cap on his head to keep him warm..? ough#wanna self indulgently add void but Who would want that and What would be even be doing. wait no cute imagery of him knitting and insert#holding the yarn for him watching curiously OUGH…what a grandma#maybe I could just draw that as him and the Chara who lives w/ him for a bit as a Christmas doodle like the one w/ abstract#I’m just talking to myself at this point ok sorry bye#sunny with clouds#wips in the sun
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you’re telling me p’aof gave us a first kiss on a rooftop AGAIN and i can’t watch it until tonight?!!???!!!
#I’m literally dying#I looked at my YouTube just as I was leaving work and literally gasped out loud to myself#and then spoilers be damned I just had to watch the end of the last part bc I needed to see it I couldn’t wait that long and definitely#wouldn’t have been able to avoid spoilers#and Jesus Christ I was screaming inside while stood at the bus stop in the cold#something tells me I’m gonna lose my mind even more with context like I’ve heard rumblings of an August kiss????!!!!!#oh damn why do the juicy episodes always come out on Fridays when I’m doing something#literally losing my mind until I can watch it#last twilight
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Throws this @ you and runs away in terror
Sketch versions. I really prefer drawing on paper tbh.
#woawww this is my first time posting my art !!#not. very thrilled w how these turned out honestly. this is only my second or third attempt at digital drawing#and I have to use my phone so it’s a small space to work with lmfao#anywaysssss only showing closeups bc the full thing looks wonky#oh these are my oc’s btw#love them dearly#I still don’t have a storyline for them yet bc I keep changing it every five seconds 💀#they’ve been through like ten different rough drafts and they end up dying in every single one#wait whattt omg who said that. omg#LMAOO#they are weird little freaks I love them!!!!!#anyways how do you guys color/shade things & draw basic anatomy. this is. so difficult#I took her cig away in the digital version omg. sick and twisted#my art#I think I’m going to start posting my art more often on here perhaps…I’m trying to stop being so self conscious abt everything. lol#I can spot so many mistakes but idgaf I don’t have the energy to go fix them 😭😭 lmfaoo
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my beloved imac from 2014 with a cracked screen that i conned my dad into giving me so i had a computer on which to do stupid freelancer shit for him but use primarily for personal use (file storage, use appletv to play streaming sites on our actual tv, play sims) seems to be……engaging in behaviors that for lack of a better way to put this best resemble when my elderly cat started having seizures after a hard summer of kidney problems and we had to be like. oh it’s the end the end? obviously less emotional than that but. you know. she’s had a long good life and maybe it’s her time. that’s okay. all things end. anyway. all this to say we are trying to coax her into not just waking up again but pretty please just giving me two files that are the backbone of the recurring stupid freelancer shit i do every month. please baby i have hand problems i can’t build those templates again. please.………
#also rip to my photos backed up there rip to my huge sims 4 cc folder#but those. well. everything is temporary all things end. i lost all my photos in 2017. i lived. besides most r still on my phone#bc that was a long term work in progress i’ve just been out of space on here for months LOL#but christ the system i have for those was a pain in the ass to set up and it wouldn’t be any less work this time#so eva’s trying to salvage them.…fingers crossed#we knew she was getting old but i kind of thought she’d last forever for her limited uses#like no she can’t take new software updates but she ran mostly smoothly!!! mostly!!!!#but wow she is. hmmmmmmm well she’s dying. Sad!#ok that’s all. pray for my stupid fucking powerpoints and their stupid fucking linked excel sheet#at least i don’t keep my writing on there LOL lotta school stuff but that’s…oh shit some of that might only be on the comp#oh wait no i think i used google drive for those so i could bounce back and forth w my ipad. ok good i had some good essays probably#but my 100k of fic work recently (guys it’s insane i’m writing a BIG FIC…and i’m doing it patience mode im fucking drafting the WHOLE THING)#THAT i back up. that i would be sad to lose. i am so glad i am not losing that. that would be worse than the freelancer bs by FAR#but wow i don’t want to remake those. but if i must i must……#eva’s trying…#a ten is blogging
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Yeah I’m starting to realize something about myself…
#THEYRE BOTH BI TOO#I’m crying#FUCKING DYING#Dumbass mod#adventure time#spooky month#marshall lee#marshall lee the vampire king#AT Marshall lee#Spooky month ethan#Ethan Dorian#I googled his last name so that might not be right#Fizzi f/o#Oh wait it is#I checked his Wiki page
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#looove having dreams about my dog dying like i love that i get to relive that over and over again forever#and then i’m always like doing that can’t breathe heaving crying bc i’m so distraught and then i wake up and i’m like oh thank god that’s#over and then i’m like oh wait but that really did happen already and then i’m like 😐 for the rest of the bc ptsd and trauma etc etc forever#*rest of the day#like fr. can’t i just have nice dreams about them and then cry when i wake up bc i miss them not because i was in the torture chamber
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wrote a 6 page acid-fueled letter to my ex about how i’m still in love with him and probably always will be, blah blah blah . his reaction ?? asking if i want to go on a trip to montreal to get tattoos together
#he’s like ‘yeah let me know when and i’ll buy plane tickets’ like fuck all the way off oh my god. oh my GOD my poor confused little feeling#s#pegasus speaks#to clarify#he read the letter over xmas holidays & later that same day we hung out and did errands for 7h and talked about it once for like 10min#and it was awful and i felt like dying of shame#he told me he’d write a letter back once he had some time to reread it and think it over#it has now been three (3) weeks#& nothing has changed & we still talk all day every day . because he is my best friend .#and now i’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop .#this shit feels like fucking chinese water torture
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Agamemnon really is public enemy #1 in this household
#I’m rereading the Iliad! going from the oresteia to this is rly fun actually bc it’s like oh boy#Agamemnon voice no i SHANT give away this woman I stole even tho all my men are dying. I love her more than my wife who’s daughter I killed#like buddy boy just WAIT until your beautiful wife kills your to death
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me telling my boyfriend he has to be extra nice to me because i’m sick and him responding with ‘sorry baby, i don’t know how to be nice’ is peak dabi
#i then said to him ‘but you’ve been nice to me before :(’#and he went ‘have i? must’ve been a mistake’#he’s kidding obviously#this got a giggle outta me#and then a vigorous coughing fit#guYS I FEEL LIKE IM FUCKING DYING#seriously#i feel like someone took a sledgehammer to each of my vertebrae and smashed them to dust one by one#i’m going to have washboard abs by the time this sickness is over#my fever has come back but it’s okay i can take more medicine soon#i slept for most of the day today buuut my mom brought me veggie maki rolls for dinner which was so <33333333#they were actually so refreshing????? i guess because they’re just raw vegetables and rice LMAO#anyway i am still bedbound waiting for this hell to end#also water tastes like poison rn#bf is tryna get me to drink juice but i doNT WANT IT 。゚(゚ノД`゚)゚。#i couldn’t even write today or yesterday because i was feeling like such hot GARBAGE#like garbage left out on the side of the road on a mid july day#oh when i am awake i’m watching glass animals videos#i can barely remember any of them BUT#i like listening to dave talk (´∀`)♡#also raw if u see this i will reply to ur discord message the moment i can look at the screen for long enough#it took me like twenty minutes to type out these tags#okai okai good byeeeeeeeeeee i’m going to sleep and hoping i wake up feeling a lil better tomorrow#there is a TINY WAR going on inside my body#go white blood cells go!!!!!!!!!#LMAO DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK OF CELLS AT WORK WHEN THEYRE SICK#it’s what i think of INSTANTLY#clari chatters
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Had an interesting experience the other night. Acoustics made my fan sound like me exhaling and my brain jerked me wide awake in a panic because apparently ALL of the air was leaving my body.
#when I say ‘panic’ I don’t mean like that startle when you’re falling asleep#I mean shooting straight up with the complete conviction that you are actively dying.#1. I CAN’T BREATHE I’M NOT oh wait#2. I am breathing. how am I breathing? I can hear - oh.#3. that was weird. I guess no fan tonight.
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i expect i won’t be able to actually get my ps5 until january due to other expenses, but i need to get it before february bc i already preordered ffvii rebirth :)
#having a job is stupid. oh so i can only afford things certain days of the week?#i bought an ipad recently because i’m gonna be traveling a lot and my laptop is dead#not dead but dying slowly#i want to switch over to a desktop and make the ipad the only portable device#but in terms of major purchases i’d like the ps5 before the desktop so that one might have to wait until like summer next year
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