#affection that much which makes character interaction things like this. difficult

[capricioussun]

Decided to sketch some of those YCH ideas for warm up but they kept getting smaller as I went

Finished the papyri and then went “ok, time to do some sanses!” and stared blankly at the canvas for like six minutes

[ingravinoveritas]

Lovely new article about Michael in Paste magazine. Article is behind a paywall, so here is a transcription (with thanks to the person on FB who transcribed it, and the parts in bold are my own emphasis).

There’s so much to love about Prime Video’s Good Omens. A delightful adaptation of the popular Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett novel of the same name, the series is romantic, thoughtful, hilarious, and heartfelt by turns. The story of the almost-apocalypse and what comes afterward, it wrestles with big concepts like destiny, free will, and forgiveness, all framed through the lens of an unorthodox relationship between an angel and a demon whose love for one another is a key to saving the world.

As anyone who has watched Good Omens already knows, nothing about this series works without the pair of lead performances at its center. Stars David Tennant and Michael Sheen—who play the demon Crowley and the angel Aziraphale, respectively—have the kind of lighting-in-a-bottle chemistry that’s the stuff of legend, and their characters’ every interaction conveys both their deep affection for one another and the Earth they’ve made their home. Their romance is the emotional linchpin around which most of the series turns, and their heartbreaking separation in the Season 2 finale is so devastating precisely because we’ve seen how necessary the two are to each other’s lives.

But it’s Sheen’s performance in that final scene that really twists the knife. As Aziraphale’s face crumples following his and Crowley’s long-awaited kiss, the actor manages to convey what feels like every possible human emotion in the span of less than thirty seconds as the angel realizes what he has both had and just lost. The moment is emotionally brutal to watch, particularly after sitting through five and a half episodes of Aziraphale looking as lovestruck as the lead in any rom-com. Sheen makes it all look effortless, shifting from giddy joy to devastated longing and everything in between, and we really don’t talk enough about how powerful and underrated his work in this series truly is.

Though he’s half of the central duo that makes Good Omens tick, Sheen’s role often tends to get overshadowed by his co-star’s. It’s not difficult to see why, given that Tennant gets to spend most of the show swanning around in tight trousers looking like the Platonic ideal of the charming bad boy, complete with flaming red hair and dramatic eyewear. Tennant also benefits from Crowley’s much more sympathetic emotional arc. I mean, it’s hard not to love a cynical demon with a heart of gold who’s been pining after his angelic best friend for literal millennia even after being cast out from Heaven. Of course, viewers are drawn to that—likely a lot more easily than the story of an angel who’s simply trying the best he can to do the right thing as he wrestles with his role in God’s Ineffable Plan. Plus, let’s be real, Tennant’s sizeable Doctor Who fanbase certainly doesn’t hurt his character’s popularity.

As a performer, Sheen has a long history of playing both real people (Tony Blair, David Frost, Brian Clough) and offbeat villains (Prodigal Son’s Martin Whitly, Underworld’s Lucian, the Twilight Saga’s Aro). In some ways, the role of a fussy, bookish angel is playing more than a bit against type for him—Gaiman himself has said he originally intended for Sheen to be Crowley—but in his capable hands, Aziraphale becomes something much more than a simple avatar for the forces of Good (or even of God, for that matter). With a soft demeanor and a positively blinding smile, Sheen’s take on the character consistently radiates warmth and goodness, even as it contains surprisingly hidden depths. The former guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden who gifted a fleeing Adam and Eve his flaming sword and befriended the Serpent who caused their Fall, Azirphale isn’t a particularly conventional angel. He enjoys all-too-human indulgences like food and wine, runs a Hoarders-esque bookshop that never seems to sell anything, and spends most of his time making heart eyes at the being that’s meant to be his hereditary adversary.

Given the much more difficult task of playing the literal angel to Tennant’s charming devil, Sheen must find a way to make ideas like goodness and forgiveness as interesting and fun to watch as their darker counterparts. It’s a generally thankless task, but one that Sheen tackles with gusto, particularly in the series’ second season, as Good Omens explores Aziraphale’s slowly evolving idea of what he can and cannot accept in terms of being a soldier of Heaven. His growing understanding that the truth of creation is colored in shades of grey and compromise is often conveyed through little more than Sheen’s deftly shifting expressions and body language.

Our pop culture consistently struggles to portray the idea of goodness as something compelling or worth watching. Explicitly “good” characters, particularly those who are religiously coded, are frequently treated as the butt of some sort of unspoken joke they aren’t in on, used to underline the idea that faith is a form of naivety or that kindness is somehow a weakness. For a lot of people, the entire concept of turning the other cheek is a sucker’s bet, and believing in something greater than oneself, be it a higher power or a sense of purpose, is a waste of time. But Good Omens is a story grounded in the idea that faith, hope, and love—for one another, God, and the entire world—are active verbs. And nowhere is that more apparent than in Sheen’s characterization of the soft angel whose old-fashioned waistcoats mask a spine of steel and who refuses to give up—on Crowley, on humanity, or on the idea that Heaven is still something that can be saved.

Though he and Tennant have pretty much become a matched set at this point (both on and off-screen), Sheen’s performance has rarely gotten the critical accolades it deserves. (Tennant alone was nominated for a BAFTA for Season 2, and Sheen was categorized as a supporting actor when the series’ competed in the 2019 Saturn Awards.) But it is his quiet strength that holds up so much of the rest of the show around him, and Sheen deserves to be more frequently recognized for it. That he makes it look so easy is just another sign of how good his performance really is.

I love this so much. The thoroughly well-deserved praise for Michael's incredible performance as Aziraphale, but also that Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship is specifically described as a "romance." And of course, the first sentence of the last paragraph that acknowledges how much Michael and David are indeed a "matched set" that cannot (and should not) be separated...

[hanahanumana]

From AnaMaria Abramovic on Fb

Paste magazine has done an article about Michael and how underrated he is in Good Omens and I found a transcript since it's behind a paywall. Here's the link if anyone wants to subscribe. 💙

https://www.pastemagazine.com/tv/amazon-prime-video/good-omens-michael-sheen-underrated-performance-explained-streaming

There’s so much to love about Prime Video’s Good Omens. A delightful adaptation of the popular Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett novel of the same name, the series is romantic, thoughtful, hilarious, and heartfelt by turns. The story of the almost-apocalypse and what comes afterward, it wrestles with big concepts like destiny, free will, and forgiveness, all framed through the lens of an unorthodox relationship between an angel and a demon whose love for one another is a key to saving the world.

As anyone who has watched Good Omens already knows, nothing about this series works without the pair of lead performances at its center. Stars David Tennant and Michael Sheen—who play the demon Crowley and the angel Aziraphale, respectively—have the kind of lighting-in-a-bottle chemistry that’s the stuff of legend, and their characters’ every interaction conveys both their deep affection for one another and the Earth they’ve made their home. Their romance is the emotional linchpin around which most of the series turns, and their heartbreaking separation in the Season 2 finale is so devastating precisely because we’ve seen how necessary the two are to each other’s lives.

But it’s Sheen’s performance in that final scene that really twists the knife. As Aziraphale’s face crumples following his and Crowley’s long-awaited kiss, the actor manages to convey what feels like every possible human emotion in the span of less than thirty seconds as the angel realizes what he has both had and just lost. The moment is emotionally brutal to watch, particularly after sitting through five and a half episodes of Aziraphale looking as lovestruck as the lead in any rom-com. Sheen makes it all look effortless, shifting from giddy joy to devastated longing and everything in between, and we really don’t talk enough about how powerful and underrated his work in this series truly is.

Though he’s half of the central duo that makes Good Omens tick, Sheen’s role often tends to get overshadowed by his co-star’s. It’s not difficult to see why, given that Tennant gets to spend most of the show swanning around in tight trousers looking like the Platonic ideal of the charming bad boy, complete with flaming red hair and dramatic eyewear. Tennant also benefits from Crowley’s much more sympathetic emotional arc. I mean, it’s hard not to love a cynical demon with a heart of gold who’s been pining after his angelic best friend for literal millennia even after being cast out from Heaven. Of course, viewers are drawn to that—likely a lot more easily than the story of an angel who’s simply trying the best he can to do the right thing as he wrestles with his role in God’s Ineffable Plan. Plus, let’s be real, Tennant’s sizeable Doctor Who fanbase certainly doesn’t hurt his character’s popularity.

As a performer, Sheen has a long history of playing both real people (Tony Blair, David Frost, Brian Clough) and offbeat villains (Prodigal Son’s Martin Whitly, Underworld’s Lucian, the Twilight Saga’s Aro). In some ways, the role of a fussy, bookish angel is playing more than a bit against type for him—Gaiman himself has said he originally intended for Sheen to be Crowley—but in his capable hands, Aziraphale becomes something much more than a simple avatar for the forces of Good (or even of God, for that matter). With a soft demeanor and a positively blinding smile, Sheen’s take on the character consistently radiates warmth and goodness, even as it contains surprisingly hidden depths. The former guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden who gifted a fleeing Adam and Eve his flaming sword and befriended the Serpent who caused their Fall, Azirphale isn’t a particularly conventional angel. He enjoys all-too-human indulgences like food and wine, runs a Hoarders-esque bookshop that never seems to sell anything, and spends most of his time making heart eyes at the being that’s meant to be his hereditary adversary.

Given the much more difficult task of playing the literal angel to Tennant’s charming devil, Sheen must find a way to make ideas like goodness and forgiveness as interesting and fun to watch as their darker counterparts. It’s a generally thankless task, but one that Sheen tackles with gusto, particularly in the series’ second season, as Good Omens explores Aziraphale’s slowly evolving idea of what he can and cannot accept in terms of being a soldier of Heaven. His growing understanding that the truth of creation is colored in shades of grey and compromise is often conveyed through little more than Sheen’s deftly shifting expressions and body language.

Our pop culture consistently struggles to portray the idea of goodness as something compelling or worth watching. Explicitly “good” characters, particularly those who are religiously coded, are frequently treated as the butt of some sort of unspoken joke they aren’t in on, used to underline the idea that faith is a form of naivety or that kindness is somehow a weakness. For a lot of people, the entire concept of turning the other cheek is a sucker’s bet, and believing in something greater than oneself, be it a higher power or a sense of purpose, is a waste of time. But Good Omens is a story grounded in the idea that faith, hope, and love—for one another, God, and the entire world—are active verbs. And nowhere is that more apparent than in Sheen’s characterization of the soft angel whose old-fashioned waistcoats mask a spine of steel and who refuses to give up—on Crowley, on humanity, or on the idea that Heaven is still something that can be saved.

Though he and Tennant have pretty much become a matched set at this point (both on and off-screen), Sheen’s performance has rarely gotten the critical accolades it deserves. (Tennant alone was nominated for a BAFTA for Season 2, and Sheen was categorized as a supporting actor when the series’ competed in the 2019 Saturn Awards.) But it is his quiet strength that holds up so much of the rest of the show around him, and Sheen deserves to be more frequently recognized for it. That he makes it look so easy is just another sign of how good his performance really is.

[affableramen]

hiii i love ur writing and i have a request. what do u think pantalone would do if reader got a vision? tysm!!!!!

Hi, thanks so much

Actually it is a very complicated situation both in terms of emotions and future interaction of the characters. I think there could be 2 possible scenarios of how this case could develop:

The reader is hiding existence of her Vision for a long time, wanting Pantalone to feel closer and more similar to her in terms of being a loser, unsuccessful and not chosen. Yet she ends up getting a Vision after all.

Potentially it would mean that she is lying to him and sooner or later he will find out about it, as we all know Pantalone is a pure character of wisdom, there is nothing to slip off his fingers. In this case he would call her privately to his office and plan the discussion with cold mindset. He would even make his own lines in his head to not appear agitated (he is very agitated and shaky, but because it is also Pantalone we may not even see it – he is a good example of artless subtlety).

The reason for you to hide your Vision from him is because you would like to make him feel safe and protected, knowing that you are just as desparate and lonely as him. Around you there is a bunch of ‘heroes’, Vision users which make Pantalone most definitely feel like a black sheep. Knowing that you obtained no Vision he found himself comfortable, given the feeling ‘Yes, she is just like me’. After a while this however vanishes, once he learns you actually possess one. He cannot be mad at you, because he realises it is your responsibility to wield one, but he cannot deny how infuriated he becomes because of your lies. In this case I think he needs time and the best you can do for him is just leave him alone for a while before he cools off. He will, for sure, have a long ass conversation with you about why you’d keep it secret from him. In this case you just calmly explain him the situation that you wanted for him to feel better and you to not be the one priveleged.

However if acquiring the Vision was a recent achievement for you and Pantalone discovers it in the real time, he will be extremely shaken as the situation happens right in front of his eyes, and he is the spectator. When it is something that happened before you knew him, it is more likely acceptable for him because he does not hold power over your achievement, however if you get one during a relationship (or simply encounter, let’s imagine the two of you are not necessarily lovers) it will be difficult for him because it is something he could not control.

***

Pantalone was sitting in his headquarters, his hand gripped the glass of whiskey when he called you in. The guards carefully led the way to his private office and shut the door tightly, making room for you and Regrator to have a private conversation.

His fingers gripping the glass were shaking slightly which was definitely ironic, considering how usually composed he was, in front of you included.

As the door was closed you slowly approached his desk but stopped at a reasonable distance as you sensed the cold atmosphere between you two. It felt like Pantalone was not ready at all to let you in closer.

“You got a Vision”, he didn't ask you, rather stated a fact. A fact that raised both panic and frustration in you as you understand how it might affect the relationship between you two.

In all his hundreds of years he never got one, but you received it just in your twenties. His blood must have been boiling.

“I got it just recently.”

His playing with the whiskey glass stopped and he looked at you. The lights reflected the metal of his silver glasses which would only add coolness to the already icy room.

“How did you get it?”

That was the question you feared the most. Yet he already asked you in, and you had no point in lying and keeping things to yourself. You were not currently on good terms exactly and suffered quite an argument however Pantalone still treated you as a valuable asset, with a possible development of you into his official lover. Or at least that’s what you wanted to believe in. You wanted to feel as someone important to him, and it wasn't entirely stupid. It’s just that it was above his icy-cold rationality.

“Actually, after I fought you”, you responded quietly, your voice suddenly breaking, no matter how anxious you were, you felt as if you had to. “I got my Vision after I fought you.”

Pantalone scoffed,

“Wonderful. Amazing. You got what you wanted, didn't you?”

“I do not understand you.”

Pantalone shifted in his seat and finally stood up, he approached you with solid steps.

“Wasn’t it your dream – defeating me? I thought you would feast upon my sufferings. But you seem reluctant to it. What, cat got your tongue?” he would continue mocking you, his face inches away from yours, but his eyes were glassy once he opened them, as if he were crying all night like a teenager after being bullied at school.

“You know it is not like this. I dreamt of Vision, but when I met you, I promised I wouldn’t be seduced by its power.”

“Yes, that’s what you promised. And look at yourself now”, circling over you languidly, Pantalone used an excruciatingly degrading tone. “Now you’re chosen. You’re a hero. And what heroes do? They defeat villains. And that’s exactly what you did.”

“I never wanted this”, you tried to convey some thoughts into his head, to soothe him, but Pantalone immediately became blind to all your opinions. “It is not my fault that the Vision appeared to me. I didn't force it to come.”

“You want me to believe in this bullshit? You used me like a piece of meat to only leave me in shambles and get your little artifact. And now I am nothing in your eyes except for a villainous Harbinger.”

His words hurt and you could not deny it. Your hand softly grazed his fingers, not inviting into a intimate contact but making it enought for him to have shivers down his spine.

“Your tongue is spilling poison, as always, but weren't you mad now, you would never say such things to me. You just need to cool down.” With those, you exited his office, leaving him completely alone with his dark thoughts. But the way you touched his hand was so warm and gentle, he felt as if he needed more of those, and his conflicting thoughts were messing around his mind. He was weaker than this, he wanted you back immediately.

“I did not allow you to leave my office yet”, he spat. “Come back.

You’d ignore him and decisively leave without looking bad knowing that it would be better for him.

“I said come back here you idiot!” He’d scream and run after you, but it was late and made no sense. He fell to his knees, both his traumatic experience and alcohol taking a toll on him. Weak in his legs, he silently started sobbing, his head hanging down as he found himself completely shattered and unable to hold back tears. How could a mere mortal obtain a Vision while he was the one waiting for it for almost 400 years? This is unfair! How is he worse than anyone? How is yourself better than him? Where did he make a mistake? Why is he such a failure? Is he a joke, a mistake of this world?

You thought that once he’d be tranquil again, you’d visit him and make amends, but currently all he could do was accuse you of something you weren't guilty of. However, once the quiet sobs reached out to your ears, you made your way back from the staircase to his office. Upon entering the lavish, elegant decorum of his headquarters you see a not so elegant man sitting on the floor like a pathetic mess. The sight was nothing you would ever expect from him and if such a rational and reserved man acted this way, it would only mean the pain was insufferable. It is stupid, you thought, but you got nothing to lose, as you kneeled down to him and took his hands in yours, the cold leather of his gloves rubbing against your hands as you embraced him, trying to share the heat with his shaking body. And he let you do this, surrendering himself to you as he realised all you ever did for him was caring, not taking. And he had no right to accuse you of obtaining a Vision, no matter how hard it was to his chest.

[gaddaboutgriffon]

Superwoman AU So, I have been seeing a lot of Justice League Gender Bent art lately and couldn’t help but think that for characters like Wonder Woman and Batman it doesn’t really work for. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that the change is REALLY interesting for one core member in particular. Superman.

Given the kryptonian power set the change doesn’t affect the fighting much, but it does change workplace relationships and social aspects of the civilian ID a lot.

For example, Clara Kent would most likely have a rivalry with Lois that borders on antagonistic. Not at all helped by Clara getting scoops that should be damn near impossible. Sure, when Clara is still new at the paper she likely would act as a mentor figure. But that would change really quick if Clara starts beating Lois to scoops and stories.

Clark Kent's sweet and dorky behavior on a male reporter is cute and charming but on a female journalist that is just neon sign to take advantage of her.

Jimmy may be her only good friend but given her physique that is hindered by Jimmy probably developing a crush on her. Which seen him more like a younger brother type friend is not reciprocated.

Then there is villain gallery. Again, the ones where is find there hidden whatever and then a physical fight to win. That is pretty much the same.

No, the villains things are different with are the ones that like to outsmart and play mind games.

Aka Lex Luthor.

And in Lex’s case the major difference again is in the interactions with Clara the civilian ID.

My thinking here is that while Lex Hates Superman because he can’t see anyone being that altruistic with so much power and it must an act. He actually really likes Clark Kent the mild-mannered reporter who in Lex’s eyes overcame humble beginnings and became a self-made successful reporter.

In this AU with Clara that gets amplified. See in a few different versions Lex attempted date and, in some cases, actual got so far as nearly marrying Lois. The attraction was largely based on the fact that she was a driven woman who was climbing in a difficult industry. It is part of Lex psychology is his value of Humans overcoming things with intelligence and will. and the difference with this AU is Clara has the farm girls start as opposed to Lois typical city or military daughter origin depending on the version. In Lex's eyes, Clara is starting out from a disadvantage to Lois and rising up to be just as successful a writer. In short, a better example of something Lex values.

It is just too good not to explore. So, if we go ahead and have Lex take interest in Clara, it would only take a good conversation for her to know there is something is wrong. But what if during her crime fighting, she ran across something that the talk with Lex makes her think he may behind it. So instead of the immediate rejection she wanted, she agrees to go out with him for opportunity to investigate.

Lex is a narcissistic egotist, and in most versions his parents were not a good example of love. and in most versions his Idea of love is a bit more like conquest. (Yeah, warning now, this is not going to go down in a good way.) He is also smart and knows how to cover his tracks. I don't think it would take him long to realize that Clara is looking for something. Here comes the dark idea I had. What if he arranges things so that if Clara tried to expose his crime empire it would look like it tied back to her instead. This also gets used to keep her from leaving. and if this is far enough in the timeline where Lex already is keeping kryptonite in a lead box in his pocket, Clara has to keep her secret identity tightly held. which means she has to go along with this until she can figure out how to bring him to justice.

Unfortunately, Lex did too good a job and Clara needs help. She turns to Jimmy and Lois. at this point Lois has been an antagonistic rival, for sniping stories from her and seemingly to have gotten the most eligible bachelor in metropolis. But once Clara explains what actually has been going on, Lois' attitude changes and is all on board for taking down the rich creep. thus, this AU's beginning of their friendship.

(well this is where I am ending this initial post. I'll add on or do a part two later. @emacrow thanks for listening to the initial idea. this post is the continuation.)

[paintbrushnebula]

Just now realized that we're gonna get to see what Gwen intentionally *trying* to flirt looks like

bc like the few times when she said really sentimental things to Miles in ATSV weren't her intending to be romantic. Like the part where she said "What I always think: You're Amazing" was the most affectionate thing she's said to Miles so far, but that was her being unusually candid out of the heavy emotion she was feeling at that moment, not genuine flirting (at least not to her).

But if she's gonna be trying to make up with Miles and maybe doing some mmhmmhmm rizzing...

And I just think that will be Very Funny to watch.

Because you see the thing with Gwen is that she's not used to being open and vulnerable, so she isn't used to just saying how she feels about someone. I think that's why her love language is physical touch.

This is probably totally me projecting, but I always interpreted that physical touch is Gwen's default way of showing affection because expressing affection with words is much more difficult for her to do. It's like her way of expressing love where words fail her. It's kinda all she thinks she's capable of giving.

(Anyone who knows me knows I'm rather touchy too. With my siblings, parents, family, etc. It's always kisses, hugs, gentle arm squeezes, all that. So I relate to this aspect of Gwen's character a lot)

But obviously, physical affection isn't enough anymore. It's cute and highly appreciated, but it won't reveal everything that lies in the heart, or explain what she believes. It's pretty clear by the end of atsv that Miles will need some words from her. Some good words.

Now what's funny to me about Gwen's rizzing potential is that we've seen what it looks like when Gwen is trying to impress someone without knowing how good her chances are. She tried to make a good impression with Miles' parents, but got really awkward and cringed at herself after every attempt at banter or friendly conversation. This was different from how she interacts with the people at the Spider Society because superheroing is her element. It's something she knows she's good at, so there's no self doubt. But Gwen's a fish out of water in domestic situations. I mean, think about the scene where Gwen invites Miles for a swing around New York. The scene that follows very clearly resembles a date, despite the fact that it's not what Gwen meant when she called him out of his window. I think that Gwen had thought about how this could've looked like she was asking him out, then proceeding to shut down any thoughts like that, denying herself that they were on a date, despite that that might've been where her mind had been. Sidebar, I headcanon that during that scene, Miles did allow himself to pretend they were on a date. But anyway, this moment still has Gwen in her element because she's calling him out to swing around the city as spider-woman. It's certainly not the same as asking to casually hang out in civilian clothes to grab a bite or whatever, which would've been much more domestic, which would've been much more difficult for Gwen to attempt at. Gwen knows what the odds are when she's Spider-Woman, but she doesn't know the odds when she's Gwen Stacy.

Gwen not knowing the odds of something working out is what actively keeps her down throughout ATSV before she returns home. She acted with pessimism, and if the chances weren't high, she didnt want to commit herself to trying something that might not work out in the end--a similar outlook I had and still kinda do have, albeit toward my creative endeavors, not romantic relationships (I don't really have experience in that arena tbh)

But now after ATSV she's throwing caution to the wind with Miles, she's gonna face the music and use words this time. And some of those words, might be romantic! Gwen is gonna have a lot to say to Miles, there's so much she'll want to express to him--has been wanting to express to him for 2 years now! A lot of gushy mushy sweet stuff perhaps! Perhaps some rizzy words, yknow? And knowing Gwen, they're probably gonna have a hard time coming out the way she'd like! And it'll probably be very funny!

for us anyway

Ahh, the mythic struggle beauty of being an introvert.

[aceinacloset]

!FNAF SL REDUX!

Character Profile #5 Funtime Freddy

The well known and not so well skilled magician of the Funtime crew, known for his enthusiasm and seemingly endless energy. Another main character in FNAF SL REDUX and I'm pretty sure a fan favorite character in the Fandom… so let's hope his fans like REDUX Ft. Freddy. 😔🙏

Funtime Freddy's original development idea was mostly to be a mockery of Henry and his Freddy bear, it would only become more original when he added bon bon to give Funtime Freddy a magician “pull a rabbit out of hat” vibe.

William Afton, the gayest straight man ever (he says he isn’t gay but he can’t be straight either) making an animatronic because your jealous of your partner's talent and success is very fruity of you.

Anyway, Funtime Freddy was the third Funtime animatronic made and the second most difficult to make. Quite a bit of Funtime Freddy's killer coding and abilities went unfinished, lacking a proper grabber to snag said target kid, and a lot of his killer code is unfinished leading to him being prone to errors. Like he has the killer cavity™️, but no claw, it's just a gaping maw.

When it comes to Funtime Freddy and entertaining children, he'll usually do a lot of different forms of simple magic tricks for the kids to watch. pulling a bon bon out of his hat, scarf pulling out of his sleeve, you know simple tricks like that. He tended to be favored by the far more energetic and amazed kids. They enjoy his magic tricks and loud, energetic voice.

When the Funtimes were put into the underground facility, in storage. Funtime Freddy was put into Funtime Auditorium with Funtime Foxy, once staff started showing up and the controlled shocks started being used he would flee to the breaker room. Now an unintentional roommate to Ballora he would try to not annoy Ballora too much, she really didn’t mind Freddy being in the breaker room but he felt like he was intruding.

Of course, like Ballora, Funtime Freddy would also be experimented on by Afton using Elizabeth's remnant. This experiment would affect his left eye, permanently dilating to be smaller than his other eye, as well as his voice box now having a permanent stutter that no amount of optimization can fix. 

And like Ballora, he would also gain full sentience as well as other things…

When it comes to how Funtime Freddy acts, 9/10 he's left alone with his thoughts and only Bon Bon as company, that would lead to a lot of pondering and existentialism (that's what happens when you got a conscience and self awareness). As well as a lot of talking to himself and Bon Bon. Ballora was the best form of comfort Freddy would get for the whole duration of his time in the breaker room.

Funtime Freddy also had a tendency to hear things (It was mostly Liz, before he could see her) and that drove him a little stir crazy. This would also cause a lot of his killer code to take more of a hold over him (not fully don't worry). Which would lead to many hospitalizations because of him attacking staff, none ever died by Freddy's hands but they kinda wish they had.

Surprisingly this doesn't change his interactions with kids, still as energetic and lovable as before (Liz may have had a hand in making sure he doesn't hurt kids🤫)

Funtime Freddy did miss Foxy and would always be happy to perform with him when they were rented out together, despite all their fighting they do care about each other it's just complicated to outsiders looking in.

Moving on, Funtime Freddy was not informed fully about the plan just that they would become one, with that being said that means Funtime Freddy had no intention of keeping the technician alive.

Moving on to after the whole escape and CB being yeeted, since Ballora had fallen silent Funtime Freddy and Foxy took up the rains and the head of the amalgamation. It was far from an easy thing nor a cooperative one.

Funtime Freddy did find the world above very fascinating, but he didn't have time to explore it at first. His time being taken up by trying to find materials to rebuild their body and make it more functional. But once they had made the body functional enough to live in, he would begin to explore this world with wide starry eyes. 

He would explore many places, and libraries became a must for him. He would find books and stories the most interesting, mostly about history. Weird nesh stuff like ‘human torture methods and executions’ (neither Ballora nor Foxy were fans), he would also do a lot of breaking and entering into places. (They broke into a McDonald's and played around in the play place, very worth it for Freddy not so worth it for Foxy.)

They remained largely in the shadows, mostly due to Freddy's skittishness towards adults, and Ballora’s inherent wariness of people period. So their interactions with people were stagnant, only having a few chance encounters with them by accident.

Meaning the Funtimes would all be local cryptids…

By the time of Fnaf 6s events, Funtime Freddy would be the most sporadic and unpredictable of the 3 funtimes, being most prone to attack without warning. While Ballora had more disdain and hatred towards CB, Freddy was more content just avoiding her all together. Obviously that wouldn't last, but it was his intention.

When it came to the truce with CB and setting their sights on Afton, Freddy would become the most violent and aggressive, as well as the most unpredictable to Mike. Ballora was more calculated in her aggression, while Freddy was more of the just jump at ‘em.

Funtime Freddy does still have bon bon to wrangle him in sometimes, but it's not as effective as it was before. Ballora is the one that is more likely to fully wrangle Freddy in, so he doesn't do anything too reckless.

He wouldn't take Afton's attempt at escape nor the fire sitting down, attempting to break out of the death trap labyrinth he found himself in. Chasing after Afton and getting a couple hits in (you go you three) and fights tooth and nail to break out of the labyrinth, before giving up due to their barely held together body.

Of course just like CB and Ballora, the fire would not be the end of Funtime Freddy. Having his AI put into the Employee Virtual Training Program.

Fred, HW 2 Funtime Freddy

Had about the same reaction as Ballora, being back in the breaker room and thinking ‘is this hell?! Did I somehow go to hell?!’. But having Bon bon back made all his fears melt away. Discovering the others later made everything even better, they were together again. One big happy family. His violence towards staff didn’t change though, he still doesn’t like anyone that appears in the breaker-room. (some things never change)

Gonna quickly talk about Bon bon, not that there isn't a lot to talk about, it's just that Freddy and Bon Bon go hand in hand and there is only so much I can talk about with Bon Bon specifically.

Before Funtime Freddy was able to see Liz, Bon Bon was able to see her and ended up helping her investigate the facility. He would also sometimes search on her own time, in hopes of helping get themself and the others out.

The end…

Onto the AR skins…

(Note: this skin is specific to this Au and does not exist in Canon FNAF material)

Scarecrow Freddy (Scarecrow)

Intimidating on the outside, but a rather positive and jolly fellow once you get to know him. He was released during the Halloween event (all the other funtimes were released during the Dark Circus event in this au). Has many bugs crawling around and in his body, he's named all of them.

And that is the end of Funtime Freddy's character profile

Circus Baby Character profile

Ballora Character profile

Elizabeth Afton Character profile

Katherine Afton Schmidt profile

[blorger]

the Great Longbottom Bully Chronicles: Snape edition

We conclude our four-part investigation into Neville's canon bullies (pt.1, pt. 2 and pt.3) with none other than his most well-established tormentor, the big kahuna himself: Severus Snape.

Snape's mistreatment of Neville is undeniable but does our view of it change if we take into account not only the context in which the bullying happens but also Snape's personality (does not suffer fools), preferences (hates children) and situation (probably overworked to the max from all the extracurriculars assigned by Dumbledore, also the whole spy thing)?

I'm not looking to excuse Snape's bullying, mind you, what I am seeking to do is to understand it. Why does Snape do what he does? How much of his behaviour towards Neville is intentional? Also, how seriously are we supposed to take said bullying?

Answering these questions is not as easy as it may seem and it's only made more difficult by the fact that (as seen in part 3) the narration itself is often unkind to Neville. The fact that books 1 through 4 Neville is little more than comic relief affects directly how we feel about his mistreatment.

In the first books, Neville is a cartoonish character: he doesn't speak, he "squeaks" or "quavers". If something delicate is around, Neville is bound to either sit on it or send it flying. Neville spends the majority of the first 4 books in a constant state of fear: he gets descriptors like anxious, fearful, tremulous; he acts sadly, miserably, shakily; he cries, he moans, he whimpers, he stammers. All of this happens independently from Snape's bullying, though it must be assumed that said bullying contributes negatively to Neville's self image (which in turn guides his actions and mannerisms).

It's not until Goblet of Fire that we see a distinct shift in the way Neville is portrayed, with Barty Crouch jr (cosplaying as Alastor Moody) holding the honor of being the first adult in Neville's life to step up and offer him guidance (but only after intentionally traumatising him by showing him the curse that he used to ruin the minds of his parents, he's a multi-faceted guy that Barty).

This coincides with something I've already talked about: as the story's tone shifts, so does Neville's characterisation. From GoF on, we see a sharp decrease in both Snape's targeted bullying and Neville's fear of it, and they both come to an end in OotP once Neville's chrysalis is ready to hatch and he can become Neville 2.0, the Ultimate Hero.

Taking all of this into account, let's look at Snape and Neville's interactions in canon:

PS

(Neville manages to melt a cauldron during his first ever lesson: this is Snape's introduction to him.)

You can see from Snape's tone that he's immediately short with Neville (because he's a bad teacher) but this is also Harry's first lesson and Snape immediately redirects his frustration towards him instead. I give this a 4/10 on the bully scale since he's admonishing a student for a mistake, it's how bad he is at it that moves it into bully territory. He gets a 7/10 on the bad teacher scale, though, because an atmosphere of fear is not conductive to learning.

CoS

(Lockhart is trying to select students for the duelling club, Snape has opinions)

At this point in the story Neville DOES cause devastation wherever he goes, we know this from non-evil sources (Harry). This gets 3/10 on the bully scale because there's merit in what Snape says but 8/10 on the bad teacher scale because Nev is at an impressionable age and needs constructive criticism, not public humiliation.

Is Snape attempting to bully Neville when he says this? I'm going to go out on a limb and say no. We know that Snape speaks to most people in a direct and often insensitive manner and he does not seem to be actively targeting Neville in this scene. Snape, it seems, merely makes a throwaway comment and immediately goes back to his real objective: needling Harry.

(Harry observes Snape in class)

Harry considers Snape's actions to be bullying, and we know that Neville feels victimised by them but what are Snape's intentions? At this point in the story I feel like Snape is not seeking to intimidate or otherwise harm Neville, it's just that the intimidation is a byproduct of the way he teaches. 5/10 on the bully scale but 7/10 on the bad teacher scale.

PoA

and

and

(Neville has a terrible time in potions)

This is perhaps the most egregious case of mistreatment Neville faces in the books. We start with Neville already worked up and anxious and his state of mind (and potion) is only made worse by Snape's attitude. The final threat of toad annihilation and Snape's refusal to let Hermione assist Neville are what really escalates an otherwise ordinary situation (ordinary for a potion class containing Neville) into nightmare territory.

This gets a 9/10 on the bully scale because the toad threat is both unnecessary and cruel and a 8/10 on the bad teacher scale. Snape does try to impart information but the tone he uses is clearly inappropriate (as are the threats of animal cruelty). Snape does not seem to be able to teach effectively when it comes to his problem students, which results in his frustration and eventual descent into maliciousness.

(Just some friendly advice to the werewolf professor you hate, completely normal behaviour from Snape)

Here Snape is undeniably acting out of malice: there's zero pretence that this conversation is for Neville's scholastic benefit. It must be noted that this scene happens right on the tail end of the potion disaster described above so Snape is most likely still worked up from that. 8/10 on the bully scale because this is said in front of Neville, Neville's class and the New Teacher for maximum embarrassment and 10/10 on the bad teacher scale since there's no possible pedagogic reason for this exchange.

(Snape has found out about Neville's boggart)

We are not shown the resulting bullying directly so we have to take Harry at his word. We do not know what Snape actually does, only the impression it leaves on someone who already doesn't like him. I give this 6/10 on the bully scale because of vagueness but a solid 9/10 on the bad teacher scale, because Snape has just found out that his teaching style is terrifying enough for Neville to make him his literal greatest fear and yet he seems more preoccupied with the slight to his ego.

GoF

(Neville starts the school year strong but so does Snape)

I am of two minds on this: on the one hand there comes a point in a teacher's life when nothing you do seems to work so you resort to handing out detentions, on the other hand a more competent teacher would actually use said detentions to attempt to do some teaching. Snape chooses to use his time in a decidedly less productive way, that is to say by terrorising noted toad owner Neville Longbottom with toad dissection. this gets 6.5/10 on the bully scale, because toad parts are actually used as potion ingredients so it's a somewhat constructive detention but 8/10 on the bad teacher scale, because Snape does not use the the detention as a teaching opportunity and opts instead for some petty revenge.

OotP

(Snape describes what his advanced potions class will entail and also his expectations regarding his pupils' O.W.L.s)

This is positively benign coming from Snape, also Neville should be nowhere close to an advanced potions classroom. 1/10 on the bully scale and also 2/10 on the bad teacher scale.

(Neville just received some unintentionally super-effective psychic Damage from Draco. Harry and Ron try to hold him back and Snape takes notice)

Who is this New and Improved Severus Snape who behaves like an actual teacher (albeit a somewhat biased one)? 0/10 on the bully scale and a mere 1/10 on the bad teacher scale.

I want to take this moment to note that Neville's character makeover happens in tandem with Snape's. Just as Neville becomes less cartoonish as the books progress so does Snape's character acquire nuance and depth. Also, since the situation in the wizarding world is escalating rapidly, Snape is now quite busy with his second job (triple agent). The time for comical takedowns form the witty teacher is over, we need to get ready to sympathize with Snape's upcoming martyrdom.

(Snape is called to Umbridge's office, where the DA has been caught red-handed)

We have finally reached the very last interaction between Neville and Snape. We join them at a particularly sensitive time, as Snape cannot reveal he's a double-triple-super secret-gold star agent and therefore has to keep Umbridge appeased in order to quickly GTFO and investigate Harry's claims of Sirius's capture. In a way, this is Snape cosplaying as himself in the earlier books. This gets a mere 1/10 on the bully and the bad teacher scale because he's just trying to keep up appearances.

And finally: the long-awaited conclusion

So, what did we learn kids? First of all, that Snape is a terrible teacher shoved into a position he's ill-suited for, and it shows. He does not have the patience nor the tact required for his position and furthermore he cannot keep his emotions separate from his job.

Even if we take into account the fact that that potions is clearly a subject in which not following instructions properly can have dangerous consequences - which gives Snape some leeway to act more strictly than other teachers - we cannot help but come to the conclusion that he should not have been put anywhere close to children (which calls into question Dumbledore's judgement but I digress).

We also learn, though, that Snape's treatment of Neville is at its peak when Neville is still being used as comedic relief and the bullying is scaled back as both of their characters undergo metamorphosis in order to reach their Ultimate Form. By the end of the books, we need to see Neville as Brave and Snape as a multi-layered, morally grey character and as such the bullying comes to an end rather abruptly (and anti-climatically). It's difficult to treat Neville's mistreatment with the gravity it deserves when the book themselves care so little for him as a character. Neville 2.0 is treated as important, yes, but in order to do so the author glosses over many formative moments in his life.

That said, it is an undeniable fact that Snape's actions have an enormous impact on Neville's self-worth. This, together with his grandma's awful parenting and the dismissive way he's treated by his peers, contributes to perhaps one of the saddest self-assessments in the books, as seen at the very beginning of OotP:

This is not a moment of introspection from Neville, it's merely a throwaway comment used to get out of a conversation, yet it's telling that his first instinct is to put himself down.

Also kudos to Ginny for never being a Neville hater and being probably his first genuine friend. You go girl.

When it comes to Snape's side of the equation, though, I'm left with more questions than answers. Can he tell that what he's doing to Neville is perpetuating the cycle of abuse he's part of (see: Sirius and James but also his father)? No matter how much I think about it I can't seem to come to a solid conclusion.

Snape is capable of extreme levels of compartmentalisation; this is what allows him to be such an effective spy but at the same time it's what keeps him from looking inward (and perhaps recognising the root of some of his actions). That said, Snape is also very astute and observant: he of all people should be able to tell what his actions are doing to Neville. I feel like Snape is able to rationalise his behaviour towards Harry quite well but Neville is not someone he holds rancour towards, so how does he justify his mistreatment?

I imagine Snape is under immense stress for all of Harry's (and Neville's) time at Hogwarts and the situation only worsens as the years go on so I can see him releasing steam with some recreational bullying. Is this all there is to it when push comes to shove? Was Neville simply in the wrong place at the wrong time?

[antialiasis]

Chess (2018 Kennedy Center revival)

So I was just going to briefly mention all the other different versions of Chess I have consumed in the big essay post I’ve been writing on and off, but there was just too much to say about this one which made it really awkward to fit it in, so fine, here is another individual chesspost. Nearly 7500 words of rambling under the cut, oh my god.

This production represents the latest official full overhaul of Chess. It sports an all-new book written by Danny Strong, also known as the actor who played Jonathan on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which is some whiplash (Sarah Michelle Gellar is apparently a big Chess fan, too). It was later staged again as a concert with some further modifications in 2021, but I listened to an audio bootleg of the 2018 version. (There exist some videos of it online, but only scattered bits.)

The Story Changes

This version has London’s basic plot structure with the distinctive two chess tournaments (this time four years apart, which is neither the original number nor the actual number of years between world chess championships), but rearranges Act I, adds a lot more quippy dialogue and swearing, reinterprets the characters, and recenters real-world politics in the whole thing — sort of the exact inverse of what Chess på svenska did with the material. It opens with “Difficult and Dangerous Times” to set the scene in the Cold War and features the Arbiter narrating with sardonic omniscient commentary between songs/scenes throughout, which does feel a bit more consistent than the Arbiter suddenly having a narrator role for the duration of one song in Act II.

All the main characters in this version are reinterpreted with significant new background context, which is a very interesting way to rewrite it that I definitely dig in principle. For example, Florence’s first scene here involves Walter threatening her with deportation from the US unless she can make Freddie behave for the duration of the tournament. Most versions of Chess make the political scheming very symbolic and vague — exchanges of mostly unnamed political prisoners or handwaved concessions — but this version is noticeably specific, with specific nuclear arms treaty negotiations that the CIA believes would be negatively affected if Freddie keeps openly antagonizing the Soviets. She tells Walter to go fuck himself (told you it adds more swearing) and that nobody can control Freddie Trumper, but ultimately she doesn’t have much of a choice but to reluctantly play along. This addition recontextualizes her character and her interactions with Freddie in Act I a fair bit — it’s pretty significant, after all, that she is under threat and may lose her home if she doesn’t somehow control what she really can’t.

Meanwhile, Freddie himself here suffers from a full-on mental illness which he takes medication for. Walter asserts on a phone call early that they’re dealing with a “genuine paranoid schizophrenic”, but then later calls him a “bipolar bitch”; I take the blatant inconsistency combined with the obviously insulting nature of these remarks to mean probably we’re not meant to take either of them at face value, but these two lines from Walter are the only ones suggesting any specific diagnosis. (I unfortunately suspect Danny Strong didn’t have a specific condition in mind and research it so much as just slap him with a Generic Ambiguous Mental Illness for which he takes Pills.) One way or another, Freddie’s ambiguous mental illness gives him bouts of intense paranoia, driving him to do things like trashing his and Florence’s hotel room to look for listening devices at one point. Florence keeps insistently, frustratedly telling him to just take his goddamn pills even as he’s in genuine distress; it’s pretty uncomfortable, and also definitely one of those things that are at least more human when his episodes could cost her the only home she has: she’s desperate and in distress too.

(I do kind of feel as if this whole bit would make more sense if Florence and Freddie had a strictly business relationship here to start with, instead of being explicitly portrayed as a couple — when they have a committed intimate partnership going on, one would think Florence getting deported would also be pretty obviously significant for Freddie, and Florence quietly playing along with the CIA and crossing her fingers that she can indirectly coax him into behaving with seemingly no serious thought given to whether it’d be better to just tell him why he needs to stop feels stranger. The scene with Walter sounds like Walter/the CIA are not aware of their romantic relationship and Florence wants to keep it that way — they both refer to Freddie strictly by his full/last name and as “her player” — so I guess Walter would have assumed she wouldn’t tell him, but surely the calculus would at least look a bit different to Florence herself. Even if it just prompts her to realize Freddie would still be liable to react by becoming even more erratic and vocal about his paranoias, that feels like it’d be significant enough, at least for her feelings on this relationship going forward, that it never actually coming up or being suggested within the story starts to feel marginally odd. Not a major complaint, though, just a bit of overthinking.)

Freddie in general is noticeably portrayed much more sympathetically here than usual throughout. Where other versions of Chess tend to present Freddie as an attention-seeking drama queen who plays up ludicrous arbitrary demands for money and press, here things like his walkout from the first chess game are made to come from a much more genuine place: he has major sensory issues and is intolerably thrown off balance by distracting noise and lights (which really are deliberately arranged to sabotage him). “Florence Quits”, the song with the misogyny verse, usually reads as being triggered by his jealousy and inability to accept that Anatoly’s just playing better than him, but this version makes it feel more about how he feels persistently gaslit about the ways he’s being sabotaged than anything else: he accuses the Soviets of having a hypnotist in the front row to throw him off (which they do, and Freddie literally saw him and recognized him) and Florence of working for the CIA (which she has been, if not by choice) while they deny it and brush it off, and the tense opening notes of the song play under him desperately yelling “You’re lying to me! You’re all lying to me!” (Which doesn’t make the misogyny okay, obviously, but it does make it feel more like a desperate, paranoia-fueled lashout where you don’t know how much he really means all that.)

When he subsequently forfeits the match against Anatoly, he makes a speech that sounds absolutely despairing where he says chess has been taking a toll on his health since he first became champion at eleven years old, and he doesn’t feel he can trust anyone, even himself. In Act II, before “The Interview”, he even actually apologizes to Florence for how he treated her; heck, his motivation for going so hard after Anatoly in “The Interview” itself is portrayed as being that he is genuinely disgusted by Anatoly leaving his family so callously (which is a lot of fun given Freddie’s own issues about his father leaving him and his mother behind) and wants Florence to hear the truth about what a despicable man he is, which is still unpleasant to her but clearly comes from a much more sympathetic place than either simple spite or reluctantly complying with Walter’s orders.

As for Anatoly… he was taken from his parents when he was a small child to be groomed by Molokov and the KGB into becoming a chess champion, and he’s well aware from his very first scene that the state had killed the previous Soviet champion after Freddie unseated him. (Freddie excoriates the press early on for not covering why the former champion disappeared off the face of the Earth because they’re too busy bashing Freddie, which sounds like paranoia, but the narrative has actually told us Freddie is right and they really did execute him but no one but Freddie seems to notice or care — another way in which Freddie is jarringly sympathetic here. In general, Freddie is portrayed as paranoid, and the other characters treat him like he’s just paranoid, but the narrative keeps proving Freddie’s paranoia right.)

Anatoly, though, isn’t afraid of the same fate, because “The state cannot execute a man… that is already dead.” (This general sentiment could press my buttons, but it just feels super corny and melodramatic the way it’s presented and performed, especially with that dramatic pause in there.) He is deeply depressed, thinks his marriage to Svetlana is fake and his kids hate him, and says repeatedly in Act I that he hates chess and just wants to be free of it, though he also describes a particular championship match he watched as the only time he’s felt love. At the end of Act I, he defects to the UK along with Florence as usual (his defection fully blows up the treaty Walter was worrying about despite Anatoly’s victory, so Florence’s refugee visa is indeed revoked, and that’s why they end up in the UK). Theoretically he should be free of chess now, but it bothers him intensely that he only won by forfeit (here they never finished playing a single match), resulting in him returning to defend his world champion title, and win it ‘properly’, four years later in Bangkok against Viigand.

Unknown to Anatoly, by Act II, after the election of Ronald Reagan, the Soviets are extra on edge and believe a planned NATO military exercise is actually the US mobilizing for a full-scale invasion of the Soviet Union. Walter tries to convince Molokov it’s just an exercise; Molokov insists unfortunately the generals are going to believe it’s an invasion and be ready to retaliate unless Viigand wins the championship (if Viigand wins they will take it as a ‘sign of goodwill’ from the US, which will change their minds on the apparent invasion because, uhh, unclear). Throughout Act II, the larger stakes in this version are set up to be that if Anatoly should win the match, the Soviets are liable to start a nuclear war.

Does Walter go to Anatoly to frankly tell him that apparently the Soviets have lost their minds and are basically threatening nuclear war over a chess match and try to convince him to throw on that basis? Does Molokov realize that if he’s telling Walter to go rig the chess match so the generals will call it off, he clearly doesn’t actually believe that the US is about to invade, so probably he should be trying to convince the generals not to go for the nuclear option himself? No, of course not; this is Chess, so we have to have the songs that are in Chess. So instead, Walter and Molokov just go through the same indirect schemes as usual to unbalance Anatoly and convince him to throw the game, with some minor twists. Molokov actually actively threatens Svetlana with being sent to a gulag to die if she doesn’t convince her husband to return — and Svetlana does straight-up tell Anatoly this, only for Anatoly to brush her off and tell her they won’t do that. Florence learns the same from Walter and initially dismisses him, and fully doesn’t believe him about her father being alive, but does ultimately sympathize with Svetlana and worry for her, which I like. But Anatoly is obsessed with winning this championship above all else and fully convinced Molokov is bluffing.

In the end, he plays the game to win, oblivious to the nuclear threat; as he checkmates, Walter makes a desperate phone call to his superiors to call off the training exercise. (Why he didn’t just do that immediately when Molokov told him the Soviets were taking it as an attack, instead of spending all this time playing along with this elaborate chess mind game, is a mystery.) Only… they don’t, and the Soviets watch with their fingers on the nuclear button, but ultimately they don’t fire. The Arbiter’s narration informs us this was the closest the world ever came to destruction, even closer than the Cuban missile crisis, and that this then served as the wake-up call that prompted negotiations about nuclear deescalation.

Anatoly, meanwhile, returns to the Soviet Union as usual, this time successfully exchanging himself for Florence’s imprisoned father, and Walter gives Florence and her father visas so that they can return to the US together.

Broad thoughts

I feel profoundly weird about the mixing of real-life history and completely fictitious alternate history here — you can’t just assert in narration that the fictional events in your musical were what taught the US and Soviet Union that maybe they should just talk to each other, while making a specific comparison to an actual thing that really happened, after spending the musical asserting that the Soviets murdered chess players for losing the world championship. I think mixing history and fiction can work fine if we can imagine that for all we know this is what really happened, or alternatively that this is what might have happened in some alternate universe similar to but distinct from ours. But here, we’re creating highly significant and publicized events that are obviously fictional, making it absurd to pretend this is what really happened, while also presenting these fictional alternate-universe events in objective hindsight narration alongside real events that happened in the real world and as a supposed cause of them. This ending narration just feels like it’s weirdly trying to have its cake and eat it too.

All in all, though, I think this is definitely one of the most interesting efforts to rewrite Chess. It definitely has something it’s going for, there are several neat ideas in it, and in particular I appreciate that it tries to give extra attention to the characters, more context to their actions, and more messy, humanized depth, inner conflict, and complicated motivators and stressors behind what they do. I genuinely enjoy what it’s doing with Freddie in Act I, in particular, even though it feels somehow both jarringly like it’s woobifying him (I genuinely think he ends up coming across as the most sympathetic of the three mains here, with so much of his erratic, childish and unpleasant behaviour being recontextualized to be more understandable and the way his hatred of the Soviets keeps being validated by the narrative) and like the narrative is weirdly harsh on him (this much more sympathetic Freddie who suffers from an actual mental illness is treated like absolute irredeemable scum by every other character including the fourth-wall-leaning narrator, even more than usual).

I also think the restructuring of Act I was pretty solid for the most part, though there’s definitely some awkwardness, like how Freddie’s expanded encounters with the press sort of clumsily repeat the same beats a bit. On the one hand, I can get what Danny Strong was going for in choosing to introduce everyone first and then go into “Merano” instead of doing several minutes of narrative meaninglessness before the main characters are even introduced; on the other hand, that kind of just half-defeats the sole original purpose of “Merano”, which is to provide a very jaunty more stereotypical musical theater song so that Freddie can be introduced via barging in and interrupting it with his very different vibe, and if I were Danny Strong I would definitely have just removed “Merano” at that point. But the “Difficult and Dangerous Times” opening works great, and it nicely avoids the “almost nothing of note happens for nearly forty minutes” and “several meaningless fluff songs in a row” problems of the London script, introducing conflict and stakes early and keeping the narrative going.

Ultimately, though, a lot of what it’s trying to do doesn’t quite come together to me, and some of it is variously misguided or just strange.

The Politics

To start with, I can definitely get wanting to emphasize the role of Cold War politics in the narrative, and I basically enjoyed the increased political focus and higher stakes in Act I — but I don’t think making Anatoly unwittingly almost start a nuclear war works here, or fits properly into this narrative at all. The Soviet generals have to be holding idiot balls; Molokov has to be holding an idiot ball; Walter has to be holding the biggest idiot ball of all; and most importantly, the ludicrously massive stakes being pasted on top of the match despite none of the main characters even knowing about it means we zoom thoroughly out of the character drama of the situation: “Endgame” just becomes grotesquely trivial with that hanging over it without Anatoly’s knowledge, rendering the actual drama of the climactic song completely irrelevant to what’s really at stake.

I also dislike, in a version that emphasizes the politics, how distinctly slanted it is. One of the things that I like in the London strain of Chess is that Walter and Molokov are both slimy, manipulative bastards in different ways, both sides’ political actors cruelly toying with the lives of the players for their own impersonal ends; the righteousness of each state as a whole doesn’t really matter to this story, only the impact that the whole conflict and the mutual scheming has on the main characters’ lives. But in this version, the Soviets and Molokov are cartoon villains who literally abduct children to force them into chess camp and then murder them if they don’t win the world championship, while Walter may be a condescending asshole who’s willing to threaten Florence but is distinctly the ‘good guy’ in his interactions with Molokov, which comprise most of his screentime, especially in Act II. Walter even gets a humanizing moment where he explains he has a nine-year-old son and has nightmares about him suffering a nuclear winter (Molokov, meanwhile, tells Walter in Act I that Anatoly is like a son to him but could not more obviously not care about Anatoly at all when he proudly presents his new champion material Viigand in Act II). I just find it really detrimental to Chess’s narrative to make it about Soviets Bad, US Good, and more so the more you focus on that — to whatever extent you highlight the politics in this story, it should be done in a way that’s about how the political machinations of the Cold War impact the character drama at the center of it, and it’s distracting when instead you make it into a loosely related B-plot about Walter’s desperate diplomatic efforts to stop the evil Soviets from destroying the world with their shortsightedness.

I think a successful more politically-focused Chess could definitely exist, but I think it’s always going to function best if Walter and Molokov feel at least narratively like just about equal scumbags. It’s not even impossible to imagine nuclear weapons and mutually assured destruction coming up in the course of it — but it needs to be using that to make us enraged at all of this on behalf of Anatoly/Florence/Svetlana/Freddie, not enraged at Molokov on behalf of Walter.

The Character Work

Meanwhile, I do basically like the setup and recontextualization done for all of the main characters in Act I, but unfortunately none of them quite delivered as well as I hoped in the end.

Let’s start with Florence. I actually quite liked the deportation threat, putting Florence herself under personal pressure in a way she usually isn’t. I dig characters being put through the wringer and making decisions under stress. But the story doesn’t quite do anything with that other than using it as silent context behind her early interactions with Freddie and technically as the reason she and Anatoly move to the UK offscreen. We don’t, for instance, ever see Freddie learn that that’s why she moved or that he was unwittingly indirectly responsible for that, or otherwise address that in any way, and as far as Florence in the rest of the story is concerned, it might as well never have happened — we never see her having any kinds of feelings on it, or even confronting Walter about that nasty little part he played in her life when she meets him again (she doesn’t even comment on it when he offers her the chance to go back to the US at the end!). To an extent this is, of course, because Florence being deported was never originally part of the story of Chess, so of course it doesn’t come up in any song or have any significant specific impact on the core series of events — but if you’re going to add it in at all, you really ought to be taking that somewhere in the rest of your additions that isn’t just briefly handwaving that she gets to go back at the end.

Like Long Beach, this version brings Florence’s father back at the end — but unfortunately, it feels really unearned here. Compared to other London variants, it actually ditches the bit of “The Deal” where Florence is tangibly emotional and riled up by Walter’s offer of her father — she fully dismisses the idea of her father being alive as bullshit, and instead it’s Svetlana who moves her to have doubts when she sees her begging Anatoly to return on video and realizes Svetlana still loves him. I do really like that, by itself, and it’s probably my favorite thing about this version’s portrayal of Florence; her empathizing with Svetlana to the point of feeling genuinely guilty for having taken her husband from her, and believing maybe the right thing to do would be if he went back to Svetlana for her sake, is actually very good, serves as a great lead-in to “I Know Him So Well”, and makes Florence’s character feel far more sympathetic in a production where she’s otherwise pretty lacking in that department. But it leaves us with no emotional connection whatsoever to Florence’s father — we’ve only heard her mention him twice before Walter’s offer, very briefly, in Act I, and not really with any sense that she misses or is all that invested in him. Seeing her reunite with him means nothing for her or her arc; it just comes out of left field, and winds up being another thing slanting this version towards Good Guy Walter, Bad Guy Molokov, what with Walter offering her visas back to the US for both of them seemingly out of the goodness of his heart.

It would have been possible to actually build up to this in a way that would make it satisfying. Florence and Anatoly have several conversations; we could have used some of those to have Florence actually talk about her father and how she feels about him being gone, and that could have been part of building up her relationship with Anatoly, made it meaningful that Anatoly’s parting gift to her is to ensure her father’s return. I suppose Danny Strong’s thought process may have been that if he built up Florence’s father too much, that should become her main concern once Walter brings that into it, and he wanted her concern to be about Svetlana instead, which I guess is fair; it also means Anatoly only really has to dismiss the potential harm to one other person in his obsession with winning the game. But if you do make the decision to not build up her father, then bringing her father back is not an ending that makes any sense, and there was no need to do this — they could have easily cut out all suggestion of her father being alive entirely and it would only have made things smoother. I think the only reason she gets her father back in this one is in some hasty effort to make Florence’s ending less bleak, but because it doesn’t have any emotional resonance, it’s just not the right way to do that here.

Speaking of Florence and Anatoly, the romance here… once again has some neat, interesting things it’s going for but doesn’t quite come together as a whole. The two of them do have some actual conversations where they bond a bit, which is already a marked improvement over the default London script — but their very first conversation features Anatoly asserting out of nowhere that Florence has “a way of brightening his spirit”, despite not even knowing her, which isn’t super convincing and just comes off kind of creepy-awkward. Florence asserts a few times that he’s sweet and kind, but we don’t really see much of him actually coming across as sweet or kind — his lines tend to be either melodramatic or sardonic moping interspersed kind of jarringly with awkward jokes. He’s less charming or sweet and more like a lonely, kicked dog, which is fine if Florence is into that but doesn’t quite make her descriptions of why she likes him ring true.

This production actually goes back to the concept album a bit when it comes to Florence and Anatoly — namely, more than political manipulation and external pressures forcibly tearing them apart from the outside, there’s a more substantial internal tension between them as Anatoly genuinely simply prioritizes winning the chess match over her and dismisses her as she tries to question him about Svetlana. The two approaches can both work but do different things for the narrative; this internal approach puts more focus on the personal conflict and character drama and makes the relationship more interesting, which is definitely good, and in principle I think this is built up to in a pretty solid way here — Anatoly, raised to become a chess champion to the exclusion of all else, being maddened by the notion of not actually beating Freddie in Act I and needing to prove he deserves the championship to himself in Act II before he can feel “free from chess” works as a coherent reason for him to be so strikingly, unhealthily obsessive about it.

But I think the biggest problem is that Florence and Anatoly individually don’t hit well enough as characters to create investment in them. Florence is ultimately not developed enough and mostly just acts kind of unpleasant, especially to Freddie, all the way up until that Svetlana bit in Act II. More importantly, I just can’t like or understand or sympathize with Anatoly at all, beyond recognizing that core of what his arc is going for. Part of it is probably down to the writing of his lines, which I’m just not a fan of in general. I already named one example from his first scene. Here’s how Anatoly and Florence’s very first conversation starts:

ANATOLY: It’s not his fault. This game drives us all crazy. FLORENCE: I’m fine. Aren’t you even a little bit scared? ANATOLY: Of Trumper? FLORENCE: No, that they’ll kill you if you lose. ANATOLY: Oh. To quote the great Leo Tolstoy, “Even in the valley of the shadow of death, two and two do not make six.” FLORENCE: What does that mean? ANATOLY: I don’t know exactly, but it is very Russian.

I just don’t find this dialogue very convincing. Why is he reciting a dramatic irrelevant quote if he doesn’t know what it means and just thinks it’s “very Russian”? It feels like a generic quippy exchange off a snarky TV show. Does Anatoly use humour to cope with his situation? Not really; this is pretty much the only time he says anything that might be taken as that. This feels like a joke that’s there only to get a laugh out of the audience, not because Anatoly would actually tell it — and consequently, it doesn’t tell us anything real about Anatoly. Meanwhile, Florence responds to this with “Oh, you’re funny,” as if that’s one of the reasons she falls for him when I would decidedly not name that as a character trait he has. I feel like most of his dialogue just doesn’t have a great sense of character — in stark contrast to Freddie, who oozes character. I can’t get a good sense of who he is and how he thinks. He’s just there. And this also makes it harder to see what Florence sees in him and believe in the relationship.

Moreover, this Anatoly just comes across as kind of a terrible person, not in the fun coherent intentional way Freddie is a terrible person but in a flat, confusing and kind of unintentional-seeming way. Svetlana here is actually really sympathetic, with lovely little additional bits of dialogue that make her feelings hit harder (her voice as she tells Anatoly that “You left us!” breaks my heart), and this is possibly my favorite version of Svetlana in any Chess. But Anatoly is really, really terrible to her, by which I don’t even mean the cheating on her but the bit where he keeps angrily insisting to her face that she never loved him and she brainwashed their children to hate him and of course they’re not going to kill her (hey, Anatoly, guess who’s already well aware that the Soviet government in this universe is not above executing people over chess?).

And even that could be made understandable, given his situation — he could just be in hard denial about it because the thought of them having been suffering with him gone and being punished for his actions is so horrific he just shuts it down — but there’s never any sense that that’s what’s really going on. We don’t see him privately upset about the possibility later, for instance — he just keeps insisting the same and dismissing Svetlana to Florence, too. We know it’s not that it’s true — we see Svetlana admit to Molokov that even though he ruined her life and she never wants to see him again she still loves him, and we hear her sing “Someone Else’s Story” and “I Know Him So Well”. Nor do we ever get any hint at exactly what Svetlana or his kids did to make him think this of them, if anything (his own kids!). Anatoly just seems to sort of bitterly, adamantly believe this for no reason at all. And that makes it impossible to empathize with. Okay, sure, Anatoly, you were taken from your family as a child, but that really doesn’t even start to explain any of this. There could have been ways of making it feel at least believable, tragic in a deeply fucked-up way, but the story here just doesn’t do the work. And once again, Anatoly being so unpleasant for no reason just makes it harder to feel at all invested in his relationship with Florence or sad when they part.

The best fix here isn’t quite obvious, and I can’t say I envy Danny Strong trying to put all his neat little ideas together and make them work. If Anatoly were to appear substantially conflicted about Svetlana and put any real stock in Molokov’s threat, that would render “Endgame”, where he doubles down anyway, kind of jarring and inexcusable as he’d be not just refusing to return to her but refusing to care if she is killed. So in order for this to properly work with “Endgame”, he probably does need to be very deep in denial about whether they’d really kill her. I think what I would do, if I were writing this plot where groomed-as-a-chess-champion Anatoly knows the Soviets killed Boris Ivanovich and they’ve threatened to kill Svetlana too, is to emphasize better how irrational Anatoly is being and try to show it more as a consequence of growing up among the constantly plotting KGB.

Let him go off on a proper paranoid rant to Florence about the reasons why he thinks Svetlana is just plotting against him, and some innocuous things he saw his kids do once that mean she brainwashed them. When Florence tries to challenge him on how batshit he sounds, he just storms out, saying she’s being taken in by their lies and just wants to sabotage him, and disappears — and she doesn’t see him again until he appears at the final game and plays this manic, desperate match while insisting to himself that Svetlana and Florence both just never understood him and hated his success. Afterwards, we can perhaps see him finally, quietly asking Molokov if they’re really going to kill her, showing that on some level he already knew the threat might be real and had just firmly blocked it out (in the actual ending as it is Molokov simply tells him unprompted that she really will be punished unless he comes back, and he just asks why with no addressing of his previous adamant insistence that that wouldn’t happen). His and Florence’s final conversation could then involve a bit more of a reckoning with that and with what his relationship with Svetlana was really like, through a more honest lens.

I’m actually pretty tickled by this scenario because that would really drive home a pretty fun parallel between Anatoly and Freddie — which in hindsight I think this version must in fact have been trying for, but didn’t quite do in a focused enough way for it to really hit. Anatoly and Freddie are both chess players with deeply abnormal childhoods and bouts of paranoia that cause them to behave in toxic ways, which ultimately drives Florence away from both of them.

This production shows the first chess game as the “Chess Game” instrumental playing under Freddie and Anatoly having alternating inner monologues about the game and their issues, deliberately drawing a comparison between the two of them; they both say they hate chess, that they don’t feel like real human beings. It’s not exactly subtle, but I liked the way this was used to build up their respective brain gremlins and was intrigued by the parallel being set up. I didn’t feel they ultimately did much with the parallel, though, because the story then didn’t really continue leaning into it much from there. By emphasizing this Anatoly’s paranoia as paranoia and not just as him legitimately thinking the marriage was never real and the KGB wouldn’t kill her, we could properly build the story around that parallel, and I would genuinely dig that.

The one place after the chess match where the actual thing does sort of try to get at the Anatoly/Freddie parallel again is in the dialogue scene that precedes “Endgame”. This scene is not sung (though it has the “Chess Game” instrumental in the background, which connects it neatly to that previous bit comparing the two of them), but it’s clearly based on “Talking Chess”: Freddie approaches Anatoly to tell him Viigand’s weakness lies in his King’s Indian Defense, and:

ANATOLY: Why are you helping me? FREDDIE: Jesus Christ! Am I the only one who cares about this game? ANATOLY: It’s more than a game now. There is so much more at stake than who wins or loses. FREDDIE: No! No, winning is everything. Fuck politics! Fuck the KGB, fuck the CIA, fuck them all! We are the ones who have dedicated our lives to chess. We are the ones who have given up everything for greatness — our childhoods, our sanity, our loves. Anatoly, we’ve sacrificed everything. They’ve sacrificed nothing. What’s the number one rule of a chess champion? ANATOLY: Play to win. FREDDIE: As long as you do that you can never lose, even if you do.

Much as I love “Talking Chess”, though, this on the surface similar scene just didn’t feel right in this context when I listened to it. In Anatoly’s last scene here, he told Florence firmly that he just wanted to win and that his marriage with Svetlana was never real and it’s all KGB mind games. Him going “It’s more than a game now, there’s so much more at stake” suddenly now comes out of nowhere — if he believes that now, it could only be if he actively reconsidered something offscreen, but he doesn’t say anything elaborating on what he’s thinking now or what he might have reconsidered or why, just that vague, generic line that contradicts everything he’s expressed up until this point. It’s another example of Anatoly’s dialogue just feeling really flat and meaningless to me — his lines here don’t say anything, just serve as vague filler to prompt Freddie onward. And because unlike London proper the setup leading up to this is all about him already being absolutely determined to win the game at all costs, this just feels redundant, unnecessary, going through the motions of something that’s in London without realizing that with the changed context it doesn’t quite make sense anymore.

I think that’s unfortunately the case with Freddie a bit here too. I enjoyed Act I’s quite different take on Freddie, and his establishing narration for Act II petulantly stating Anatoly won the championship last year “by forfeit, I might add”, and “The Interview” is recontextualized in a very fun way as I mentioned before — but after that it feels like Danny Strong doesn’t quite know what to do with Freddie anymore and just has him sort of arbitrarily go through the motions of London in a way that doesn’t necessarily hang together with everything he’s established of Freddie so far. It made sense that this Freddie, despite being decidedly hostile towards Walter and the CIA, conducted the interview to show Florence what a bastard Anatoly is — he’s not doing it for Walter, he’s got his own reasons to want to do it once Walter’s shown him the Svetlana video. But I find it a lot harder to swallow that this Freddie — whose usual problem seems to be that he’s compulsively blunt about how he really feels — would then be easily persuaded to play his part in “The Deal”, which involves exaggeratedly trying to be all buddy-buddy with Anatoly. Maybe if there was better setup around it, like with “The Interview” — but “The Deal” only has seconds of kind of half-assed leadup here, and from there it moves directly into “Pity the Child” (after a segue featuring the recording of Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad Gita, because nuclear war).

Freddie’s next appearance after that, then, is this “Talking Chess”-esque dialogue where he’s realized the parallel between the two of them, how they’ve both sacrificed everything for chess and the political schemers have sacrificed nothing and that’s why he should play to win. I can appreciate how the low point of “Pity the Child” would trigger that particular realization, contemplating how much he lost and sacrificed to achieve his status in the game and perhaps afterward realizing Anatoly is the only other person here who might understand that. That feels like it basically tracks and is interesting.

But… it also means that fun very specific contempt for Anatoly in particular based on him having left his family like Freddie’s own father did is just kind of… gone, I guess, or at least Freddie doesn’t consider it relevant enough for it to stop him from going out of his way to pep Anatoly up for the game with no mention or hint of it. (At least Freddie probably isn’t aware of the threats made against Svetlana in particular, so he doesn’t know Anatoly winning would shatter his family even further.) And we’ve lost the bit in “Talking Chess” where the notion of the political scheming actually leading to Viigand winning the match just personally offends Freddie because Viigand is not even that good; instead Freddie is just putting forward “Play to win” as some kind of general inviolable chess principle, which is kind of generic and not nearly as characterful, in my opinion. I’m not saying we ought to have had the “Viigand is mediocre” bit here — I don’t think it would quite fit in for this Freddie, whose feelings about chess itself are very conflicted and who is more concerned with showing up these political hacks who have sacrificed nothing while they sacrificed everything — but as a Freddie moment I would really have wanted to end on something stronger there than this vague assertion that “The number one rule of a chess champion is to play to win.”

Like in London, this is Freddie’s last substantial scene, but he does have a part in “Endgame”, and it’s also an interesting one: he gets Sixty-four squares / they’re the reason you know you exist (but not the preceding How straightforward the game…), but also a couple of other verses usually sung by the chorus, and the lines he gets are clearly very purposefully chosen to reinforce that final resolve regarding the sacrifices they’ve made for greatness, which I really appreciate: Listen to them shout / They saw you do it / In their minds no doubt / That you’ve been through it / Suffered for your art and in the end a winner and They’re completely enchanted / But they don’t take your qualities for granted / It isn’t very often / That the critics soften / Nonetheless, you’ve won their hearts / How can we begin to / Appreciate the work that you’ve put into / Your calling through the years / The blood, the sweat, the tears / The late, late, nights, the early starts?

All in all, Freddie is still definitely my favorite part of this Chess, but while the parallel itself is neat it’s too muddled and I find the second half of Act II pretty uneven for him. What would I do if I were writing this bit?

I’m not totally sure how I’d want to tackle “The Deal”, but as for the “Talking Chess”-but-not scene: I would ditch the bit where Freddie is trying to advise Anatoly on strategy and the bit where Anatoly is apparently suddenly not determined to play to win just so Freddie can then tell him he should be again. None of that is contributing anything in what this version has been building up. Instead, they just sort of bump into each other, Anatoly fresh off his paranoid rant to Florence about Svetlana, Freddie fresh off “Pity the Child” and the strange realization Anatoly might be the only person who’d understand him a little bit. At first they just sort of stop and look at each other. Freddie starts, guarded, with some kind of oblique accusatory prod about the leaving his family thing, which he still deeply resents.

Anatoly has calmed down now, but he tells him what he told Florence: that it was always a fake marriage, a fake family, that the video was just a lie set up for him by the KGB, that Svetlana had brainwashed their children to despise him.

This incidentally plays into Freddie’s existing preconceptions pretty well. He’s probably not instantly convinced but it checks out enough he’s willing to reluctantly leave it alone for now. Probably mutters something like, “Fucking Soviets.”

Anatoly says something like, aren’t you going to try to make me a deal to get me to throw the match and go back? Freddie says no, fuck that. Says the whole bit about how we are the ones who have dedicated ourselves to chess, who have sacrificed everything, childhood, sanity, love, and they’ve sacrificed nothing. Why should we listen to those CIA and KGB assholes? Draws out that parallel. The two of them are probably standing in symmetrical positions on the stage.

Anatoly just nods slowly, agreeing. “I would have beaten you.”

Freddie scoffs and says, “Dream on,” but not quite with the spiteful arrogance he would’ve said it in Act I.

Then they part, and we move on to “Endgame”. The scene isn’t about Freddie helping Anatoly, or about Freddie convincing Anatoly to go for the win; it’s about the Freddie/Anatoly parallel, about Freddie realizing it and in his profound loneliness finding a smidge of connection with this guy he hated because he’s the only one who sort of Gets It, and about showing how Anatoly’s conviction has developed since the first chess match where part of his inner monologue went, “I can’t beat him, he’s too good.” Anatoly is so ready to prove that he really is the world’s best chess player.

Conclusion

Man, this version is so interesting. It’s a mess, but it’s a fascinating mess with a bunch of tasty potential and a real sense that Danny Strong had some genuine thoughts on what the show was missing and how to rework it to fix that, even where his attempts were ultimately confused and don’t succeed. In some ways it’s the most me-core version of Chess and in other ways it’s deeply antithetical to me and in most all ways it’s trying to do something neat but does it in a flawed way. Special shoutout to this Freddie, who honestly deserves better than this Florence.

[macsimagines]

Hello OP! I've been reading your writing lately and May I ask for a request ,about yandere mikey and you're favorite character but yandere, with headcanon about a willing darling?

Sorry if it's a bit difficult, :3

And remember to eat, sleep, and drink water ♡

ASK BOX IS OPEN

(tbh my fave type of darling is a willing one lmao)

Yandere!Mikey

Being a willing darling just makes thing easier. You're definitely an enabler for Mikey's dark impulses, but at least he never feels the need to take it out on you.

If you're a willing darling in Tokyo Manji Gang, then you're his wifey, his ol' ball and chain. He's pretty lax with you and while he is certainly possessive and constantly demanding your attention he's not going out of his way to make your life a living hell. He doesn't like your friends, but he lets you keep them around. he hates others talking or looking at you but he knows you need the interaction. Just respond to his 100+ messages a day and give him constant attention and you'll be fine.

Kanto Manji Gang? You're screwed. You just willingly signed up to be his human teddy bear. He takes you everywhere and almost never leaves you alone. He wants to bathe together, eat together, sleep together. If someone so much as breaths in your direction they've earned a one way trip to the hospital. His phone number is the only one in your cellphone. Not that it matters because you're always together.

Bonten Mikey you're pretty much the worlds most secure housewife. It's almost like playing pretend. He comes home after a long grueling day at work, killing people, and there you are with dinner and the sweetest smile on your face. You use the house phone and the line only goes to Mikey's personal work phone and cell phone, you're allowed to go the buildings rooftop garden and gym provided you're followed by his most trusted men. Sometimes, as a special privilege's, you get to go to work with him. Which just means you're just sitting on his lap while he's in a meeting. Yandere!Shinichiro Sano

My husband and one true love. The fact that you were willing to date him was a miracle, but you being a willing darling? *Chef's kiss*

He adores you and worships the ground you walk in. Showers you in kisses, affection and cheesy pickup lines. Honestly it's almost like a normal relationship. Except for the fact that he asks weird things.

"Can you not leave the house this week, I've got a weird feeling," or "Maybe don't get so close to Waka, just looking out," and of course, "You swore you wouldn't look at other guys, remember?"

Then he's talking about things like being able to track your phone, it's because he doesn't trust everyone else not you. Also brings up marriage on a constant basis. You already said yes, but he wants to hear you say it's a great idea at least 20+ times a day.

He needs yes yes yes constantly, any hint of a negative answer and he's freaking out. Don't you love him anymore? What made you hate him now? Are you going to leave? Didn't you promise forever???

[agentrouka-blog]

i always love your responses because i think you do such a good job explaining things (even though some of it is just common sense)... so i was wondering if you could read this meta? i've come across this sort of idea about sansa before in their circles, but this is the first time that i've seen them try to argue that she is somehow inherently unloveable *rolls eyes*

-Something I find really interesting is that for all Sansa craves admiration and “love” from others, she’s not especially good at making friends or inspiring supporters. When people do decide to support or “befriend” her in the story, it is always with ulterior motives—almost all of which serve themselves. This includes characters like the Hound, whose connection to Sansa is built off his own ideology concerning knighthood and gender in their social system.

Her inability to create that support system is partially due to her environments: King’s Landing and the Vale, neither of which are necessarily forgiving places. However, despite her hostage status and shamed House, Sansa is still a valuable person to befriend, even if only for ladies. She’s pretty, performs her ladyhood well, has a famous bloodline, and is tied to the very wealthy ruling family. What’s more, she’s obviously mistreated (for a portion of her time in the capital) and without much actual power. If anything, she should garner sympathy friendships, but with everything else in mind, she should attract at least some love, some support that isn’t totally disingenuous or self-serving, however minuscule. And yet even that eludes her for some reason.

The way similar characters—her siblings particularly—so easily find friends and supporters throughout the books really draws Sansa’s lack of them to the forefront. Jon, for example, finds friends in both the Night’s Watch and amongst the wildlings. Bran forms close friendships with Jojen and Meera. Arya literally makes friends in nearly every place she goes, be they high- or lowborn. Daenerys finds companions in her ladies and Missandei and gathers loyal supporters in people like Ser Barristan. Even Catelyn as Lady Stoneheart earns the support of the Brotherhood. Granted, many of these supporters operate in their devotion to specific Houses, but they’re not doing it to serve their own wants and desires, which is a stark contrast to those “supporters” who surround Sansa at various times.

All in all, I’m intrigued at the way Sansa’s desire for love—genuine or affected—evades her while many of her contemporaries, misfits and traditional characters alike, garner it quite easily. Aside from her environments, what is it about her specifically that seems to repel genuine relationships? And what does this persistent inability to gather loyal friends, companions, and supporters indicate about her future role, if there is one?-

if you can probably tell its written by an arya stan

I laughed. 😂 Anything to cling to the idea of queen Arya - or rather not!queen Sansa.

As if being a hostage of the royal family in the royal palace in the royal capital, surrounded by enemies and spies is not the entire reason Sansa is isolated. Do they even consider how much more risk is involved in even casually approaching her, than there is for anyone having a chat with "Arry" or "Nan" or "Cat"? There is nothing "partially" about it. She is a well-guarded hostage and no one safe and well-intentioned enters the perimeter of her prison, end of.

Once Sansa is in the Vale, she is still more difficult to approach by anyone than a "simple" lowborn girl, as the bastard daughter of Littlefinger (soon Lord Protector) - who takes pains to control who she interacts with and how. And still she begins to form tentative bonds to the people around her - mindful to keep her emotional distance to a degree after what happened with Margaery and Dontos.

Which highlights another crucial aspect. Arya's bonds? Generally represent her attachment to others, not the other way around. She declares Hot Pie and Gendry her pack and feels betrayed that they have their own lives and plans, she never asked them if they feel the same way and I doubt it - and yet her bond to Gendry (also on the run, no threat to her!) - is the single most genuine mutual attachment she forms after she becomes a fugitive. Do they think Yoren helped her because she's uniquely worthy and not because she is Ned's daughter? Do they think Jaqen has no ulterior motive? Or Harwin and Beric? They are kind because they can afford to be but their motives are their own ends. Do they think Lady Smallwood would have somehow withheld this same kindness from Sansa? The captain of the Titan's Daughter knows she is connected to the Faceless Men, ffs. And what possible risk is attached to the women of the Happy Port being kind to a beggar girl?

To her vast credit, Arya forms quick and genuine attachments to other people. More so than Sansa, whose situation also doesn't allow for it. But these attachments don't represent a support system and they aren't deep bonds.

This distorted representation of their ability to connect to people certainly doesn't allow for some kind of speculation how Sansa would act and be perceived in a safe environment and or in a role of political leadership.

[educatingmerlin]

Hi and thank you if you answer this one!

Is it just me or does any content with Gwen/Elyan/both of them gets so much less attention from fandom?

ArWen is much less popular than Merthur, despite it being canon. As an artist, who loves drawing Gwen, it's sad to say that Gwen/ArWen arts don't get as much likes and reblogs than Merlin/Arthur. I don't even want to start on Elyan.

And I wanted to know what if it's about art quality? I tried many different stuff with Gwen. Fast and lively sketches, full rendered arts I spent hours and hours of my life, etc etc. Many experimental things to see if there's any difference. But a simple sketch with Merthur gets much more attention in just minutes :/

I can't understand if that's racism towards the character? Or people in fandom just generally love gay characters, absolutely ignoring one of the main characters who IS a female? ://

It really is frustrating to see. As an artist I, of course, love attention (there aren't much who doesn't). But I also don't want to be stuck drawing two same white dudes just to get more likes&reblogs, considering that I myself AM NOT a white man and I do want more diversity in art.

And there's this dilemma in what should I draw to satisfy fandom's needs or should I draw for myself only and suffer from no attention

Thank you for your submission and for sharing your experience.

I am sorry that you have had to go through this, especially with working countless hours making artwork only for it to go unappreciated.

First of all, it is important to know that this is not due to you personally or the quality of your artwork, but it is an issue with the fandom and how they interact with certain content. So please do not blame yourself!

What you have said is right. The fandom is largely dominated by fans of the white characters or non-canon ships (who are mostly white themselves). Whilst there are fans of Arwen/Gwen/Elyan, there are not nearly as many fans for characters such as Merlin, Arthur or Morgana.

Of course the racism has affected the situation too.

It is likely a mix of both things. As there are more fans for the white characters, they are only interested in seeing content of the people they love. This is not a bad thing, but it does impact the way they interact with content. And with racism they usually do not want to see any content of the Black characters.

With the fandom being majority Merlin/Arthur/Merthur fans it is pretty easy for them to gain a lot of interactions with their content and it has often led to certain posts becoming viral (or at least semi viral with thousands and thousands of reblogs).

It is a really difficult situation to be in when you are constantly trying to get your work out there and appreciated. The fandom needs to be a lot more welcoming to content which celebrates a wider part of the show and the characters.

I have a post about this planned which I will share soon but I am striving to do this within this page. It is so important to support creators and artists of color in the Merlin fandom.

For now, there are a few things that I would suggest:

Try to follow and interact with artists who also focus on Gwen/Elyan. Finding a circle where you are on the same page as other fans may be helpful in building up your page and interactions.

No doubt you are doing this already but make sure that you are tagging correctly. For example on Gwen artwork, do not solely tag Gwen related things. Often the hashtags for Black Merlin characters get bombarded with non-Gwen related posts. Many fans follow Gwen tags to see Gwen content but end up unfollowing as posts about her are usually lost in a sea of white Merlin characters.

Make sure you are on different social media platforms. I have spoken about this before but on each site, the fandom is different. One site may be more welcoming and supportive of your artwork than another.

I know this is difficult as this is something which is out of our control and we have to rely on others to support us. It would not surprise me if you have already tried these things, but if you have not, I hope that they do help.

I also hope that other artists share their own tips about this!

My future post will be asking artists what this page can do to help other artists (of color) in supporting them so please look out for it or feel free to submit something here.

[ikemenomegas]

Too cute

so my cats do this thing where they will groom each other, nap a bit, then start snapping at each other until they have a chase around the house

It was really difficult to cull this list, so I chose ones that seemed fun or obvious from my character list. The experience illuminated the separation and overlap between whumpable characters and ones you want to mess up with your own hands oop.

▷∥ Jihyun (V), Alucard, Joanne Harcourt, Kunikida, Dazai, Jōno, Sasuke, Itachi, Obito, Haku, Jiaoqiu, Sunday, Lucio, Asra, Yoshida

now, this list looks deceptively short, but as a vertical post is excruciatingly long. hopefully there's something for everyone, below the cut!

🐊 read until the end for a few extra treats🐊

Omegas who elicit cuteness aggression:

Jihyun (V)

Extremely biteable, extremely squishable, much more playful rather than passive after he learns how to put up boundaries. He's especially nice to overstimulate because he gets wriggly and does a particularly weird thing where he chirps at you, like calling you, and yes, it is very sweet because it's like a reassurance thing, but also it's a bit silly how it gets faster and more frequent the most overstimulated he is. He does overlap quite strongly with a whump factor. He is very pretty when he cries and when he behaves gently or pitifully this makes him even more biteable. Pounce on him. Nicely.

Alucard

Blonde goth sad boy aesthetic, especially with the season 4(?) outfit, makes you want to hug him. Harder. Harder!!! Squeeze him hard!! Luckily, he's very durable and tolerates this with good grace. Biting is interesting because of the whole vampire thing, which I like to think is mutually erotic if you both bite one another. He develops a bit of a degradation thing at some point, and he'll get cute and bratty if you tease him about being a needy little thing, letting you punish or goad him into compliance. He also has overlap with the whump part of the venn diagram but probably don't squish him when he's actually feeling down. Measure out the cuteness aggression by kissing him lots, it'll make you and him feel better.

Joanne Harcourt (before anyone gets stupid, when I talk about Joanne Harcourt he is of course aged up, having survived having the Earl Phantomhive as a friend and hopefully graduated from fantasy Eton little worse for wear)

Joanne gets overwhelmed easily, and whines and trembles when he is. It is exceedingly cute. Tall and willowy with a shy demeanor, luminous eyes, and lightly wind-blushed cheeks (oxford commas!), Joanne is a true English-rose of an omega in traditional high collars and never caught without gloves. If you want to be the one to mess him up with your own hands, you have to be a little bit willing to growl at other alphas who want to do the same but won't take responsibility for it. However, Joanne doesn't carry a strong "whump" factor. He mostly seems to elicit pity and protective instincts when he interacts with the worse part of Phantomhive's magic nonsense, or the underbelly of London.

Kunikida

I never said acting on cuteness aggression is smart with every omega. The first time you finally give in and just... nibble on him, I think Kunikida would start yelling "ouch, what was that for, what a degenerate alpha doing this where anyone can see" yadda yadda, etc etc, honestly a total diva about it, okay maybe you feel a tiny bit guilty, but that is what you love about him. He has a cranky old man attitude, no filter, and a tsundere demeanor that absolutely doesn't land with everyone, but it's extremely funny to make him mad, you get why Dazai does it, and in your case the more he puffs like a done kettle, the more you want to pin him down and make him yell more (he yells after you leave him covered in marks too 😈, it's a shame you're too tired from making them to do more)

Megumi

Triggers cuteness aggression and is just aggressive rip. Snappish, sullen, extremely shy when he reciprocates romantic affection (because it means confronting feelings besides justified irritation and righteous anger and self-effacement). You'd think he'd have Sasuke energy but he's more grumbly than outright lowkey hateful to individuals but does occasionally exhibit some like, aggressive puppy behavior, including the "gets tired and just lays tummy-up on the floor". He's also a little bit used to it. His... Gojo, Gojo's alpha, his sister's friends (Tsumiki knows him too well to be taken in most of the time), Yuuji, Maki... you get it. It's that cute face and "you can't make me admit I like attention" that draws everyone.

Sasuke

Unlike his glass doll of a brother, Sasuke can take some roughhousing and is used to it... from his brother, but also from Shisui and some other cousins/mentors (more on this later). He's sort of resigned to it when he first realizes his alpha is sneaking in some extra squishing or nibbling (as long as it's not so visible it ruins his image). Later though, he starts to expect it and will pout mightily if you don't roughhouse with him extoling both his behavioral and physical delights. This happens the first time during a heat and he is ruthless after, due to being thoroughly embarrassed. When you tone it down to give him time to calm down... he gets petty. Don't you think he's cute anymore! Why aren't you pinching his thighs or his butt when he walks by, why don't you "sneak" up behind him and burry your face in his shirt! Thus comes a rare moment of him sitting on your lap when you're reading and intentionally being cute and putting your hand on his legs to tell you to get on with it again.

Jiaoqiu

The first thing is he makes cute sounds. When he yawns it's like a kitten or a puppy yawning. If you rub his ears or massage behind them, he can make this high-pitched sighing sound that is so cute it literally can flatten someone. The second thing is that his fur parts are so soft he has to scold you for touching him too much/all the time, squeezing too hard like a rambunctious pup. If you look pathetic about it, he will show you how to grab him in ways that are not uncomfortable (and my even lead to something else 😉). The third thing is he is cute when he is cooking (or making medicine but we have to have some self-control). He hums to himself and shuffles in place like he's dancing when he's cooking, and he's so happy when something tastes good. He doesn't cry but super spicy things still make him look uncomfortable and there's something to be said for having to baby him while he's enjoying the pain.

Sunday

He is typically so stiff and anxious it is very difficult to find him doing anything interesting enough to be considered cute, unless you clock this behavior as just really strange and then it becomes sad because it's to do with the collision of personality and upbringing making him really scared to make a "wrong" move. This isn't the part that inspires cuteness aggression. When he finally loosens up (literally, like his tie isn't tight enough to choke him anymore if he's not keeping perfect posture), that's when this show of trust and vulnerability inspires a slightly unfortunate urge to do to him what you cannot reasonably do to small, cute animals. His alpha feel really badly the first time they leave bruises from grabbing his thighs far too hard. Sunday is scared by the cognitive dissonance of his sculpted persona not being the kind of person to let his happen and the marks being result of an unguardedness that felt so good it feels wrong now that he's out of that headspace. It takes a lot of work both with and without a partner to for him to accept the natural messiness of intimacy.

Levi

Oh boy, another grumpy old man. At this point, I think it's to do with my tastes, but I won't apologize for it! Personally, I find the grumpiness cute, like with a grumpy cat. Rbf-disgruntled Levi is just a cute Levi (can be drawn in for some mutual snarking if in public, otherwise just be near him so he's not awkward and alone), a sleepy Levi is a cute Levi (that needs your shoulder as a pillow stat). He's not so cute when he's dressing down a cadet who nearly took another cadet's head off but at least that's not you because Levi has a competency kink. He has this very alert yet relaxed, dare I say perky, way of walking when you tidy your shared spaces to his satisfaction, it makes his butt look very cute and he kind of knows it. Mostly he's the target of cuteness aggression when you're being intimate together. His face just makes you want to bite him and touch him and make him cry more, he needs to fall apart and let you take care of everything.

Omegas with cuteness aggression:

Dazai

He's someone who makes you want to mess him up. Those big pouty eyes, and soft, mischievous mouth, the lanky clumsiness all puts ideas in your head all too easily. However, your impulse absolutely pales compared to his. Dazai is someone who goes above and beyond the simply "want to bite, want to squeeze, want to pinch" of cuteness aggression (see exhibit A, blowing up an old partner he has complex feelings for's car). He isn't destructive with his Alpha, but he isn't above tricking them into situations he will find them cute or responding in a cute way. Innocent methods include trying on cute accessories and going extra cute cafes so his alpha get excited about the food. Less innocent methods include getting himself used as ransom or putting you in a situation where you experience other emotional upheaval (with a suitable catharsis of course).

Obito (and Tobi)

I mean, you had to see this coming, right? The jokester with a savior complex, ridiculously devoted to the people he loves, puts them on a pedestal. Of course he has moments where he thinks his alpha is the cutest thing in the world. And then there's this itch in his teeth that can't be satisfied by anything except for biting, or wrestling, pushing, shoving, play fighting. A non-massacre Obito tones it down a littlem but he's well known to simply enjoy cute things, small animals, sweet old people, butterflies. No one's surprised that he chooses an alpha who matches this aesthetic sensibility of his. He has ADHD so bad (basically as bad as Naruto) and one of the things he hyper-focuses on is his mate, to the point he'll have something similar to Kakashi vs Guy level fights around the village where his blood is pounding, he keeps looking behind him, grinning like mad because isn't his alpha just perfect, so cute how they can't catch him yet, that focused look on their face, ah, that's a clone, the real one's on his left. They've got him and he's got them.

Jōno

Are all of these omegas a little scary?! Scary pretty husbands. Yes. A rarer but no less beloved breed. It doesn't matter than Jōno can't see you, since he can sense changes in your moods and hear everything (rip to your privacy when he's curious). He finds it extremely cute when his alpha is flustered, if his alpha laughs quietly and no one but him can tell they think something is funny, if his alpha gets irritated by people being rude and uses their skills to fix the problem (or even if they just grit their teeth and bear it to preserve decorum), if his alpha does silly things like stockpile way too much of a favorite snack when it's on sale... He knows some of it's silly, but apparently silly is what love makes you. His version of cuteness aggression ranges from saying he wants you to guide him and mushing himself against your side and grabbing your arms too tight to fantasizing about living his life as a vapor so that he can literally sink into your lungs and tissues. He knows this is abnormal, but so is a lot about him, so he keeps these thoughts mostly to himself and limits himself to using very small parts of himself (mostly with permission) or just pressing himself as tightly to your body as possible.

Itachi

Itachi also elicits cuteness aggression, but his reaction outweighs his alpha's and he also gets overwhelmed with others offering those kinds of outbursts at him so he prefers his alpha not to do it [too aggressively]. His cuteness aggression = his feral kitten energy showing. It started with Sasuke. Itachi finds Sasuke unutterably adorable. However, itach is also very reserved and has limited attention to dispense to others, so apart from holding Sasuke all the time when he was a baby and later finding that his hands sort of clench and his teeth ache when his alpha does something very attractive (mitigated by his shuffling closer and perhaps tugging their sleeve so they scent him thoroughly and make him melty and too weak to do anything silly), he never acts on it. Even when he knows what the feeling is, it's mildly disturbing for him to be hit with a destructive urge directed at someone infinitely precious to him, so he mostly attempts to resist it. He's happy enough with a pillow to make biscuits upon if you give it to him (but he'll also be happy to do something like suck on your fingers).

Haku

Haku has a strong affinity for dark mischief and the attitude that necessity is a good excuse for any course of action. He has no qualms about an urge to squeeze his alpha until their bones creak or shaking them until they're dizzy or gnawing on them while they pat his head or biting at their neck and chest and scratching them silly until even they struggle or, or.... okay better calm down now. Sometimes his mate catches him staring at them with this rather intense look, smiling, leaning his head on his hand. Every time you ask him what he's thinking about, he says something that is either nonsensical, or simply distracting like how he spotted a bird in the plants behind you, or something embarrassing about how much he appreciates you, or some other compliment. It's disarming because he's a teeny tiny bit concerned you'll be taken aback by what's in his head. It's better to fantasize anyway where reality cannot bridge the gap.

Lucio

Lucio has a really bad case of cuteness aggression, and he's both obnoxious and loud about it. He's also kind of a wimp though so it comes across more like his typical bratting behavior and is pretty easy to turn the tables on him. Unlike some of the others, this doesn't quiet his mind and get him to back off but makes him more aggressive. If you get him into a spare room or a dark corner, or even his room since somehow the count doesn't do any counting, trying to deal with him, he just gets mouthier and mouthier until the exertion catches up with him and the energy is all worked out. He'll openly say whatever he is thinking. To others, if they were to hear, it may seem a bit scary, but his alpha treats him more like one of his big hounds, ruffling his hair, tickling his tummy, and his teeth aren't so sharp for them.

Asra

I'm pretty sure he engages in some behavior drawn from this emotion in the game. Asra's icon is a fox and his familiar is a snake, he loves twisty puzzles and causing an innocent amount of trouble. Sometimes you catch him digging his fingers into his scarf or bag and staring at you, his lovely eyes practically predatory. He's entirely unrepentant about it. Biting his alpha is something he portions out, lest they get used to it, because the cute, surprised yelp is part of the charm. His cuteness aggression is primarily contained within his thoughts, during which he will just sit happily or wriggle around in a stack of pillows while thinking about the cute things his alpha has done.

Yoshida

He already "liked" Denji so much he ***** and helped ****** and got him*******, it might be scarier to see what he does to someone he loves. Octopi often cannibalize their mates too, as he frequently reminds you when he starts nibbling on you while you're still knotted together. Yoshida is very good at blending in, remaining just the right amount of visible, but with his alpha, he likes to flirt, to fluster, to make them slightly embarrassed or knock them off balance. He likes to cling and suck bruises on your skin, mostly for him, but it's nice when someone who's looking sees it and gets secondhand embarrassment, especially when his alpha mostly looks shy and a bit pleased, like he's given them an amethyst or ruby or a mother-of-pearl to wear rather than just a bruise.

Honorable mentions:

Fukuzawa and Akutagawa both inspire semi-infrequent bouts of cuteness aggression. Fukuzawa usually tolerates his alpha's with good grace, although he feels a bit cornered if you're loud about it out of doors, he is deliciously quiet, if that's a turn-on for anyone. If you try and bite Akutagawa without warning... you'll end up being very grateful for his good reflexes. He doesn't like it much. He's afraid he'll hurt you so probably don't startle him, okay?

Satoru has a mild case of cuteness aggression, but he isn't used to touching people, so he mainly acts annoying about it when he finds you cute. Sometimes he'll yank you in and rub his cheek on you, but it's all an act, usually to put some nosey omega off. Shisui can be an abominable menace in the same vein, eating with his eyes and storing away every memory of anything that endears him since he's unused to contact not associated with either family or violence. Before he's comfortable, he'll do it the same way, too possessive to let the one he wants completely go, but knowing he can't flaunt a claim he doesn't have with anymore more substantial than his presence. Satoru occasionally does something so cute his alpha wants to run at his screaming to bite his throat, but he usually ruins it by saying something stupid. The same impulse in Shisui's alpha scares him so he does the same, redirecting them, once by giving them a literal chew toy, which was a very low moment for their ego.

Aventurine likes to annoy people he finds fascinating. It wasn't always this way, but he likes to give real excuse to people he's worried won't like him, rather than have them hate him for his eyes or his blood or his money or his unattainability or his slutty waist or any of a dozen other things he hardly has control over. When he finally is interested in an alpha, the interest is both irritating and endearing (for him). When he finds them cute, there several layers of panic suddenly embedded under that feeling, under that desire. This ratchets his emotions up high enough that suddenly he wants you small enough to squeeze in his palms, wants to strangle you with pearls, wants you studded with emeralds and sapphires and rubies like they'd made up a stained-glass window you crashed through. The world made sure he was perfectly capable of very visceral violence and he has a very good memory. He bares his teeth in the mirror and sees if he can scare you off so he can stop worrying about this new vulnerability.

Toge lives daily with the knowledge that opening his mouth could hurt his mate very badly, a fact which easily lends itself to intrusive thoughts. He could make them do anything, embarrass them by demanding cute but embarrassing behaviors, command them to stop breathing unless they're looking at him, tell them come to me and see how far they'll go to do so, beg them to put their mouth on him just so he can see that adorable, glassy-eyed looked they get when they taste him for long enough. In some ways they're nice fantasies, where he has a voice he's able to use, where the danger sealed inside him is dangerous but also, not really because it's not his mate, it's a figment of his imagination. When he sees his mate do something cute, habit denies him, but his chest aches to say something but saying anything normal could have unbearable consequences. Sometimes, when his mate catches him in the midst of these daydreams, it helps him to just squeeze them hard and purr, making some kind of noise that tells them how he really feels.

[townslore]

if you're comfortable, i would love to know more about the akechi npd headcanon. i think it's a rlly interesting take on his character and i wanna learn more abt npd bc i have bpd and ig im interested in what people experience with the other cluster b personality disorders? i just kinda wanna know why you think he has it and also maybe some of the mental stuff he has to experience with it. doesn't have to be detailed or personal i dont wanna make u uncomfy! i just cant stop thinking abt this hc haha :)

im actually on a mental health break right now, but this ask intrigued me so im answering it anyway. first off thank you for staying kind throughout the whole thing :)

its kind of hard for me to really describe why i think a character has/is something, because things like personality disorders are still a wide spectrum and every person experiences things differently, and i dont wanna make it seem like theres a one-way to have npd, but im gonna try anyway!

there is a site which helped me immensely throughout my self-diagnosis, so if you want to read more about the topic than what im gonna say here, here u go:

lets start simple and the thing that makes it most obvious to me: the engine room dialogue.

people with npd can heavily rely on other people for their self-esteem, because narcissists usually have a very low one. thats why they take on many tasks ("i was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image—so someone would want me around!") and might overwork themselves for more praise and acknowledgement ("you wanted to be acknowledged, didn't you? to be loved?") because its what they need to not constantly crash. a crash is something that happens when you dont get enough supply—which can be words of affection, praise, acknowledgement, etc—and you internalize it, doubt yourself, feel disgusting and generally you get to a really low point. this is just speculation, but i can see goro having a ton of those, especially during the time the phantom thieves get popular and he becomes public enemy nr 1. thats also why i drew him thinking "i really need supply rn but i'd rather die than ask for attention" because vulnerability is also a big thing people with npd can struggle with. we dont want to be seen as weak—our narcissism is essentially a shield, so we're seen as tough, when in reality, our egos can be very fragile.

one thing that the engine room makes very clear and also other interactions goro has with akira, is that hes very envious of others who have had it better than him. especially someone like akira, who was thrown away by society just like he was, was able to move past it, found friends and is acknowledged by many people. goro is jealous of it all, and thats the thing; people with npd can feel like they're supposed to be special ( and to me, with goro explaining how he got his personas, and how he often calls others stupid, its clear that he does feel that way about himself to a certain degree ) and anyone who threatens that status, anyone who seems much more special than we are is seen as a legitimate threat. its an ugly feeling and it can make us hate even those we love for some time.

this attributes to dysregulation of our emotions too. people with npd often feel their emotions, especially negative ones, way more intense than they actually should be and have difficulty calming down due to that. negative emotions often linger for a long period of time and its hard to move on so we hold grudges. now this might come to no surprise to anyone that goro is a very angry and sad person. especially in the engine room its clear that even after the others extend their hands out to him, its difficult for him to comprehend and he still acts rather mean and calls them idiots for trying to "save" him. when someone with npd is experiencing a multitude of negative emotions, it may cause them to avoid other people or act aggressive towards them because they feel trapped. theres many explanations as to why goro is the way he is in the 3rd semester, and i dont think only one of them has to be correct, but i do think that with the knowledge of whats happening ( like: being under the control of someone else again, or having to work with people who are unpredictable and who have seen you at your lowest point ) makes him act out to keep all of them, especially akira, at bay.

in the duel against akira—im sorry i cant really quote it, i just have a general idea of it in my head rn—i read what he says in a way that makes it clear that he struggles with a superiority AND inferiority complex, which sounds stupid at first i know, but its fairly easy to explain. like i already said, a narcissist's self-esteem is usually pretty low and we rely on others to know how to feel about ourselves. theres two traits of npd that are necessary traits to have: being self-centered and feeling entitled to good treatment, and seeking admiration from others/liking to be the center of attention. so there is some kind of superiority complex going on, at least thats what i would call it in goro's ( and my ) case. we can feel on top of the world in one moment, but once we have a crash or experience intense negative emotions, its back to being the worst human being on earth. i dont think its ooc to say that goro hates himself, as some like to claim he only ever thinks hes better than everyone else. i think that just attributes to harmful stigma. with everything goro experiences in life, coping with narcissism to hide a fragile sense of being just makes sense to me.

theres more i could probably add here but this thing is long enough as is. please do keep in mind that many of my headcanons for goro are me projecting—but that doesnt mean theres no basis for it in canon as well, as i've tried to explain here. at first i actually thought he could have bpd, but i dont know enough about it to really judge that—so it could still very well be that, or both, i dont really know how it works! im rather new to this as well, and at first i was scared of doing any research because npd is so heavily stigmatized. i wish there were more people like you, anon.

if you have any more questions feel free to ask them :)

[betryl]

Once again thinking about the fact that I really want a TSH series adaptation.

Would it suck? Most likely, yes. It would be extremely difficult (impossible?) to show Richard's unreliable narration. And there are so many little things, interactions and details which actually make the story what it is, that it would take a lot of time to cover them all on screen, even with a series – so, much of it would probably have to be cut out, and the overall thing would be affected by it.

Still... I think that it could be done. It would in no way compare to the novel, because of course it wouldn't, but I'm sure it has the potential to be something very good.

Especially since it could give the same feeling of the book through visuals. The atmosphere being colorful and warm when Richard first arrives at Hampden, only for it to gradually become darker and colder as the plot unravels (Bunny's murder being the event after which the shift becomes more evident), along with the characters becoming progressively more unsettling and less aesthetic – which is really how it felt to me.

[starsreminisce]

Our favorite Elain stan 🌷🦌☀️ !!

1. Why is Elain one of your favorite characters?

2. Is there a specific scene that made you like her?

3. What theories/headcanons do you have for Elain?

4. Feel free to share anything else about Elain that the questions didn’t cover!

1. Why is Elain one of your favorite characters?

She reminds me of one of my absolute favorite people in the world. Elain is someone who has been shaped by her circumstances, and the way she interacts with and responds to the world is a reflection of what she’s learned in order to survive. Elain best exemplifies the idea that two things can be true at the same time, even more so than Nesta. Yes, someone can be soft and caring but also capable of setting hard boundaries when something starts to affect them in a way they don’t like. She can do that. She can use violence when necessary, like when she stabbed the King of Hybern, but she can also hate doing it, as she often was described how much violence does affect her. Feyre said that Elain can be brave when needed, and I feel like that’s an aspect of her that’s often overlooked, even though it’s fundamental to who she is.

SJM typically writes FMCs in a certain way, but I’m excited to see her take on a softer, more magically-inclined Willow-like FMC, rather than her usual Buffy-esque characters.

2. Is there a specific scene that made you like her?

I thought it was really sweet how much of a romantic Elain is, already packing a bag for Feyre when she returned to the Spring Court. But what really stood out to me was when she said the Queens should burn in hell. It reminded me of how Lucien said the exact same line...

LITTLE DID I KNOW

3. What theories/headcanons do you have for Elain?

A headcanon of mine is that Elain took up baking because it's Jesminda's hobby, something she doesn’t even realize. Baking feels like a fall activity to me, so I always think there is some subconsciousness Elain has about how much her mate does affect her.

I also have a theory that Elain's increasing sun-like descriptions signify her and Lucien paralleling their development as they move toward who they want to be together. Her character growth in ACOSF shows that she is preparing to become a High Lady of a court. We've seen her softness in previous books, and ACOSF illustrates how Elain acts when she can no longer afford to be soft.

I believe both Elain and Lucien will be the couple that solidifies the connection between their world and TOG and CC.

4. Feel free to share anything else about Elain that the questions didn’t cover!

Elain’s issue isn’t with Lucien specifically, but with the bond itself. No matter who was on the receiving end of that bond, she would react the same way she is now. Her story will further explore and expand on that lore. If ACOSF was SJM processing difficult experiences in her own life, Elucien's book will likely reflect SJM’s college days, especially around the time she left for college, met her husband, and went through months of pushing and pulling before they decided to be together.

Elain says she doesn’t want a mate, and I find it fitting that her mate is someone who believed he no longer had one. I still think back to Elain dreamily mentioning how Tomas wanted to marry Nesta, and I believe she deserves someone willing to fight against all odds to be with her, which Lucien already did for Jesminda.

In the beginning of Outlander, Jamie rescues Claire multiple times, despite their marriage initially being one of convenience. Similarly, ACOWAR gave us a glimpse of how far Lucien is willing to go for Elain, and I think their book will highlight the depth of Lucien's determination to bring Elain the against-all-odds romance she dreams of.

I can’t wait to read how Elain realizes it’s not the bond that makes Lucien act this way, but that it’s because of who Lucien is at his core that they are mates.

I hope you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for asking!