#I wanna emphasize that these can be either platonic or romantic but even STILL I hc sanses in general as just not being fans of physical

[capricioussun]

Decided to sketch some of those YCH ideas for warm up but they kept getting smaller as I went

Finished the papyri and then went “ok, time to do some sanses!” and stared blankly at the canvas for like six minutes

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

Hi!! I have a one shot request (I hope I’m in the right place lmao)

What about a autistic (fem)reader who is super smart and seems to notice things about the case that the others haven’t and every time she tries to state her thoughts a rude sherif cuts her off/infantilising her and Emily defends her

Honestly my brain stopped at the thought of Emily, I need more of her 😔🫶

-anon ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

fem plus size autistic!reader, wc: 517.

a/n: i have had this finished but sitting in my drafts because i was too lazy to post it, but here it is! i hope that i was able to capture what you were looking for right! :] this can either be read as platonic or romantic!

cw! asshole elders :/

You have been spoken over and shut down for the past hour, twenty minutes, and thirty seconds. 

You hated being silenced, but one thing that trumps that was being infantilized. You worked hard to get where you were now, and you hated being treated like a child just because your way of thinking was different from your peers. 

You have saved thousands of people and you’ll be damned if you continue to be treated like this.

“If you look closely, you can see that the area that these women were killed in must hold some kind of sentimental meaning to our unsub.” You grab the black marker and go to draw the inevitable triangle on the printed out map before you’re stopped by the sheriff.

 “Hold it now, sweetheart. Don’t just go markin’ up stuff.”

“I beg your pardon?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“I’m sure the area these women were killed in was just pure coincidence, so we don’t wanna risk coloring in the paper just ‘cause you think you know somethin’.” He spoke as if he knew more than you did like he was the one with the degree, his tone absolutely rolling in condescension. 

“I’m sorry but –” You try to say but the old fart cuts you off. “I’m sure you are –”

“Excuse me, sheriff, but I’m afraid Special Agent _______ made a great point.” Emily was quick to come to your aide, emphasizing the words ‘Special Agent’ just to reinforce her point.

You could see it in her narrowed eyes, and everyone else’s really, that she was about done with the Sheriff’s embarrassingly large ego. You send her an appreciative – albeit shy – smile, and she gets up, her eyes trained on the map as well. 

“She’s right, because if you look here,” She points to the first crime scene and motions for you to draw a mark. “And here,” Her finger trails down to the second location and you follow close behind. “And here.” Her path finally ends, and so does your black ink. 

There it was, just like you had first thought, a perfect triangle connecting them all.

“The most important thing should be right –” You finish her words and color in a big circle in the middle. “Here.” Emily sends you a proud look and it threatens to weaken your knees.

“I mean… I suppose that makes sense.” The man grumbled before leaving with his tail between his legs. 

“Thank you.” You say quietly. The conversation was meant to be kept between the two of you. Of course you loved and trusted everyone on your team, but Emily was your comfort person, and she made time to understand you.

“No problem,” She responds back. “Everyone was done with his shit anyway.”

“Still, thank you.” You pressed the conversation, because you don’t really think she realized the gravity of the situation, of your appreciation. 

For most of your life you had never been given a voice, and having someone stick up for you and even paving the way for you to make your point known was something that no gratitude could give.

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus @khxna

[gengarghast]

Howdy, folks!

It has come to my attention that an anon may be going around and dropping hate messages in my mutuals' askboxes, claiming that I am a pedophile and a sex freak!

Continued below the cut- This is gonna be a long one. TLDR, they're either making shit up, exaggerating things and taking them out of context, or bringing up stuff that happened in the past.

TW: Pedophilia mention, kink discussion, drama.

Note: I didn't censor the word in the top line, the person who told me about this did and didn't wanna tell me what it said.

These are not new accusations, unfortunately. I've dealt with them before, and I promise this is 100% just a smear campaign fuelled by a personal vendetta.

The 17 year old they reference here is my good friend and ex, @/manix-valentine, who I do not have romantic or sexual feelings towards- Our relationship is purely platonic. Well- They COULD be talking about someone else, but it's highly unlikely.

As for the "disgusting fetish" they claim I need to "satisfy"... It's hypnosis. I got a hypnokink. Which I used to do with Val when we were dating, because- And I feel like I must emphasize this- It was consensual. She wanted me to do it- I'm not some kind of hypno-rapist like you see in the pornos. Consent is extremely important to me, and I would never force someone to do erotic roleplay with me. Regardless, Crushon.ai would be my go-to should I ever need to "satisfy" my fetishes- Not my ex who is also a minor.

The anon also mentions my Twitter- Which you wouldn't find under the name 'Gengarghast' because that one was suspended a couple of years ago because I told too many zoophiles to kill themselves. But that's beside the point- What they were referring to with my Twitter were the unsavory things I did there when I was 16 years old, namely lying about my age and pretending to be an 18 year old to erp. Which, yes, shitty fucking thing to do, but that was 2 years ago- I have grown and changed since then, and I don't lie about my age to erp with strangers anymore.

Of course, there are other things I've done- I've been an unfaithful internet partner, a crummy friend on occasion, and I've done some other things that I am deeply ashamed of, but can explain or rationalize. However, I personally think that I do not deserve to be hunted down and have smear campaigns launched at me wherever I go.

And yes, this is a smear campaign. Both Valentine and I have gotten similar messages from an anon, Valentine's message shaming her for her own kinks and telling her to delete her account. The message I got was about Valentine, claiming that she 'stole her name from someone else' and that she was 'obsessed with me' and 'stalks an adult user she used to be friends with'- All three being complete lies or exaggerations, same as with this new message. Both times, the anon spoke as if they knew the person beforehand, which gives me all the reason I need to believe that this is intentional slander and an attempt to paint myself and her as morally disgusting people in order to get us driven off Tumblr with mocking and hate from people they turn against us, as I was from Twitter.

I don't have a way to close out this way-too-long post, but- I'm really fucking tired of getting called a pedophile because I just turned 18 in January of this year and still have underage friends. I mean, I even got called in to the fucking principal's office over this.

So! If you receive a message similar to this, don't respond to it. Just screenshot, delete the message, and let me know about it- Preferably alongside sending me the screenshot. I would be happy to answer any questions you have to the best of my ability.

[lady-grace-pens]

You guys have no idea how hard I’m debating with myself about making the main character of my next story be in a poly relationship with his two best friends (one guy one girl). I’m also very aware how I haven’t introduced anything about this story or it’s characters yet so they’re total strangers to y’all, but trust me. I haven’t even started writing this babe yet and their chemistry is already leaping off the pages. The only thing stopping me is how I want to emphasize found family instead of romance. But they can still be found family if they’re all poly together… The basis of every solid romance is a solid friendship and whatnot… It could totally be fine… Honestly what if I just do it lmao

[kasey-writes-stuff]

What going on a road trip with different members of the DreamSMP would be like

Dream- Lots and lots of music! The windows are rolled down 24/7 so the music can be blasting loud enough for the other cars to hear your amazing music taste! Not one much to stop for like the basic sight seeing but will if you want to! Lots of stops for gas station snacks! Said stops for gas station snacks turn into speed runs tho because he always jokingly threatens to leave you behind or else he says loser has to pay for the others snacks. Only time he turns the music down and rolls up the windows is when he notices your falling asleep. Specifically keeps a blanket and small pillow in the car for when you do fall asleep. Leaves small kisses on the top of your head at every stop light. Gets so flustered when someone taking your picture mistakes you as couple like he fill in stutters and is bright red as he tries to correct them but before he can you’re playing acting as if you are a couple and thanking the person purfusley as you kiss him on the cheek. You’re dying of laughter after the persons left and then Dream says he’ll give you something to laugh about and chases you before tickling you. If you are a couple he will still be very flustered but smile and nod as he thanks them and then after they leave he kisses you on the forehead or top of your head and tells you how lucky he is to have you.

Sapnap- Again lots of music but not at an overwhelming loud volume it’s a decent volume but definitely does get turned up when one of your favorite songs is on so you guys can belt it out together with no shame! Again lots of gas station snacks but no races just casual leg stretching and snack grabbing but he insists on paying for all the snacks! He’s definitely not past a gas station hot dog to tide him over tik you guys get to somewhere slightly less concerning to eat at. Is totally down to see all the sights and will probably actually be the one begging you to stop and see the sights. Is very embarrassed when someone mistakes you as couple when you’re not but when you are a couple he will proudly smile and hold you close as he calls you his baby as he thanks them.

George- Yea sure there’s music but he prefers it at a lower volume to try and hear your true singing voice because it makes him so happy. He steals glances with the cutest little smiles at you when you’re singing and looking out the window. He’ll stop for gas station snacks here and there but he’d really rather not he despises gas station food completely including the snacks but he’s not past a bag of chips or something. He’s down to take you to any sight you wanna see because he loves seeing you smile. Loves wrapping his arms around you from behind and either resting his head on your shoulder or head depending on the height difference, as you both look out at the beauty of nature. If you’re really smaller than him he will not hesitate to use your head as an arm rest, you’ll just be talking about the view and he just casually puts his arm on your head. Little secret though if you don’t want his arm on your head just give him a quick tickle and his arm will retract so fast! He gets mega embarrassed when someone mistakes you for a couple when you’re not but also is a bit embarrassed when you are a couple and someone says how cute you are. He’s not ashamed of you or anything not at all! He’s just not good with people noticing when he’s giving you affection be it platonic or in this case romantic.

Phil- He’s similar to George in he doesn’t like the music overly loud but as similar to sap some songs he will allow to be played fairly loud as to emphasize the jamming out session. He’s down to stop for gas station snacks and like sap will always insist/offer to pay for your snacks. He’s definitely not fully against stopping at a basic fast food place like McDonalds he doesn’t prefer to but will admit the food is rather okay for being so cheap. He prefers though to try and stop at more sit down and order type places both because the food is better and because he likes the short break from driving, mainly though he likes it because he feels it’s easier to talk to you without the distraction of the music or having to pay attention to the road. He really loves being able to just fully give you his undivided attention, he will also insist/offer to pay the bill. He will obviously respect if you do want to go halves on the bill but would greatly prefer to be a gentleman and pay for it in full! If it’s a restaurant like Cracker Barrel and it has a little shop he will secretly pay for anything he notices that you really like but refuse to get for yourself, he will also get tons of candy. He wants to stop at every single sight seeing place possible and will ask you to take his picture at every single one and then also try and take your picture as well along with either a selfie of you two or asking someone to take a picture of you both. Blushes purfusley though if someone taking the picture calls you guys a cute couple when you’re just friends, he’s unable to say anything though as he’s too flustered and you just smile a bit as you nod and thank them but later in the car have an absolute laughing fit over it. If you are together though and someone says that he smiles brightly as he kisses you on the side or top of the head and thanks them.

Wilbur- MUSIC IS SO LOUD YOU FEEL AS IF YOUR EAR DRUMS WILL BREAK BUT YOU COULD NOT CARE LESS BECAUSE SEEING THIS MAN JAM OUT TO ANY AND EVERYTHING IS SUCH A TREASURE! He’s so down to do gas station snack stops but will like Dream try and turn them into a race and also will sometimes do that thing where you pick snacks for the other person and sometimes he’ll be serious about it and get you you’re favorite snacks but other times he’ll get the craziest and most random things. It’s okay though because you do the same and then you both have a long laughing fit as you’re trying all the items. Also if you try and scare him he will without hesitation chase you around the gas station and then tickle you as slight punishment for scaring him. He is so down for any and every sight stop like my gosh imagine him and Phil on a road trip together! It’s worth it though to see his giant smile as he stands on the edge of the guard rail looking over into the gorgeous waterfall. If someone takes a picture of you two and calls you a cute couple when you’re not he totally milks it and fully embarrasses you by holding your closely and kissing your head and even bending down to kiss your cheek as he’s thanking them repeatedly with a huge smile on his face. If you are together though he’ll blush a very light pink as he smiles a small smile and thanks them. Again if you try and scare him, act like you’re gonna push him off,ETC... he will tackle you and tickle you until you apologize. It’s fine though because it’s all in good fun and you can easily get him back later, meaning you can also get him back for embarrassing you if you really want to. Man stops at so many fast food places just for fries like you’ll have just left one place having gotten a full combo meal and an hour later he sees a sign about more fast food places and is like “oh I’m hungry! ya know I could really go for some fries right now!” He’s also heavily down for a sit down restaurant though but mainly only when he’s getting tired and about ready to stop at a hotel or something for the night.

Tubbo- PLEASE MY EARS! THE MUSIC IS ABSOLUTELY BLARING! He won’t hesitate to turn it down though if it is truly hurting your ears or head! Will not hesitate to scream out songs with you literally like even ones he barely knows he will try and scream them out with you. Gas station snack stops are a must and he will always get at least one or two wacky things for you both to try and then proceed to die laughing at your reaction but then when he tries it it’s now your turn to die laughing at him. He doesn’t mind paying for your snacks and also doesn’t mind you paying for your own he leaves it up to you to decide. He’s a sucker for any and every sight seeing place possible and always wants to get at least one souvenir from all of them and you have to try and stop him or else at least have him get the cheapest thing possible so that he doesn’t spend all his money in the first few hours of the trip! He’s always wanting to take selfie’s with you at them all and also some funny pictures of him to send to Tommy and Wilbur. He’s down for sit down restaurants or fast food he really doesn’t have much preference, though sometimes your guys laughter can cause some looks from other restaurants patrons but neither of you care much because you’re just having fun. If someone mistakes you for a couple at a sight seeing spot he starts dying of laughter as you have to explain that you’re not a couple and he’s much more of an annoying little brother. If you are a couple though he smiles proudly as he thanks them and wraps his arm around your waist kissing your cheek or the side of your head depending on your height difference.

Tommy- Surprisingly doesn’t like the music too loud most of the time when he’s the one driving. If he’s the passenger then he loves having it hecka loud if the driver is okay with it. Again gas station snack stops are a must but not just for snacks but just so he can get out and run around a bit as well! He’s definitely the type to sneak behind you as you’re looking at snacks and scare you or just start to tickle you because he wants to embarrass you. If he doesn’t know your ticklish and does that thing people do where they like squeeze your sides and say boo to scare you, he’s definitely gonna notice the smile on your face and how quick you are to move his hands and gonna straight up ask if your ticklish and will not hesitate to tickle you right there in the gas station just like the annoying little brother he is! Makes jokes about how you should pay for your own snacks but will definitely actually pay for them if you want him too! He’s down for fast food or sit down restaurants but probably prefers fast food. Will once again joke about you paying but won’t actually let you pay unless you really insist! He’s not really to into the stop at every sight type thing but will stop at any one you want to with no hesitation he’ll not even complain once he sees the happiness you’re absolutely over flowing with. He also just kinda takes it as a chance to get out and try to scare scare you again. Gets very caught off guard when someone mistakes you for a couple dramatically says “What like I would ever date this B! Ew I am way too good looking for her!” You roll your eyes and smack him lightly. If you are a couple though he proudly says “D right we are!” And doesn’t hesitate to turn your head towards him and press a kiss to your lips!

BadBoyHalo- He’s not one for mega loud music but will gladly let you set the volume to whatever your preference is with no complaints! Is willing to listen to anything you want to but is very grateful when you play songs that either have no naughty words or else are the clean versions. Will insist on paying for your snacks at each and every gas station stop and restaurant or fast food stop. Is down for every sight seeing stop you’re down for and won’t force you to go to any you don’t want to! He’s not one for having his picture taken but will insist on taking yours and will take selfie’s with you! If he asks someone to take your picture together and they say you’re a cute couple he quickly says what an honor it is that they think that but that he no where near good enough to compare to your good looks. Laughs when you lightly punch him and tell him he’s more than good enough. If you are a couple he smiles brightly and proudly thanking them and telling them how lucky he is.

Karl- Music can either be blaring or very low there’s no in between and he’s down for whatever you want but does sometimes prefer it on the louder side. He will jam out to anything from one direction to Thomas Rhett to 5 seconds of summer you get the point the man has exaquisite music taste! Gas station stops for snacks always literally anytime you want he will stop and he will gladly offer to pay for your snacks but is okay if you insist that you wanna pay instead and he blushes purfusley and thanks you multiple times if you pay for his,same situation with fast food or sit down restaurants. Another sucker for sight seeing and will ask you to take the wackiest pictures of him to send to the boys, will be so serious about taking your picture though! Like this man will do a full on photo shoot having you pose,making sure the lighting is perfect and everything. He’ll also take tons of silly selfies with you and will blush so much if someone takes a picture of you guys calls you a couple whether you are one or not. Though if you aren’t he stutters a bit as he shyly says you’re not but if you’re like best best friends like best friends he’ll laugh he shoves you a bit and says something like “HA! As if I would ever date this loser!” And you roll your eyes as you shove him back and say something like “Yea like I would ever date that idiot!” If you are a couple he will blush so much but smile so happily as he pulls you closer to him if it’s even possible and he thanks them greatly.

Quackity- Music music music and more music there’s hardly a second without any he loves having it loud and jamming out with you but also is down to have it very quiet and just talk with you. He’s also down for you to FaceTime the guys and you all chat for a while as you guys are driving! The guys will definitely “accidentally”spill your tickle secret though making the rest of the trip very interesting as he gets so excited but also soft and takes advantage of it any chance he gets! He also really just enjoys the time with you alone, not face timing the boys,whether you’re a couple or not! He’s always stopping for gas station snacks and is down for a terrible gas station hotdog or burger! Though as you guys are eating it you both laugh hysterically about how bad it is. He’ll insist to pay for everything for you but won’t get mad if you don’t let him. He prefers sit down restaurants a little more but is fine with fast food. He’s down to stop at as many sight seeing places as you want and definitely either gets very embarrassed when you’re mistaken as a couple or plays it up and embarrasses you. If you are a couple he’s quick to show off his proudest smile as he thanks them and talks about how wonderful you are and how he doesn’t know how he got so lucky.

[nereol]

Late, Late At Night

A Val (fem-streetkid-V) / Kerry feat. jealous Johnny one shot (words: 1834), post Holdin’ On: “need a power nap - wanna join me?”

You can read this on AO3 or on my WorldAnvil page (with pics, music and other stuff).

"Uhm..." Kerry looks down at her slightly frowning. "You two talked again?" Val sighs in annoyance. "More like 'we argued again'." Kerry can't help but grin. "He was always good at that." Val's still avoiding Kerry eyes. "He's such a dick." She sighs again. "Well" Kerry chuckles. "Can't deny that." That's when Johnny starts talking again from across the room. "Fine, just talk about me as if I weren't here, af if I were..." But Val interrupts him without looking at him. She knows exactly what he just wanted to say. "Johnny, you ARE dead."

platonic or romantic, can be read as pre-relationship

Val's head aches and she sighs while walking up the stairs in Kerry's mansion. Giving Johnny control was exhausting. The fact that he drank a lot doesn't help either. She rubs her temple with one hand. 'Why does my cheek feel like I've taken a punch?' She grimaces as she strokes the right side of her face. "'Cause Ker slapped me... you..." Johnny's Voice in her head and she sighs. Kerry's lying in his bed on two thick pillows his hands folded behind his head. And legs spread wide, still wearing just briefs and his bathrobe, and Val has to pull herself together not to stare at his crotch. He doesn't look at her, when she walks over to him.

"Feel like shit, too?" Val stops next to his bed. "Nah, need a power nap." Then Kerry's looking at her with a slight smirk. "Wanna join me?" Johnny appears glitching immediately standing with his arms crossed by the other side of the bed. "Let's go V. He's joking." He sounds annoyed. When does he not...

Val's answering him in her thoughts. "Ya sure about this?" She smirks. "I don't think so." Johnny looks at her, aviators on she can't see his eyes, but looks like he's pissed. "Oh, you won't..." But Val interrupts him. "Oh, I will!" She answers firmly. "I'm tired as fuck, I won't drive all over the city right now." "You can't be serious!" Johnny's voice is loud now and stares at Val from across the bed. "You aren't long enough in my head to know exactly that I am?" She stares back at him and Johnny turns around runs his hand over his face groaning.

"Uh... V? You okay?" She's almost forgotten Kerry's still there, lying on his bed between them. "What... yes" She looks at Kerry who's looking at her frowning. "You're starring into space." Kerry looks more or less at Johnny or just where Val's looking before, because of course he can't see Johnny. "Oh, I..." Val sighs and avoids Kerry's eyes. "I just talked to Johnny." "To..." Kerry takes a moment to think about that. "In your thoughts?" "Yeah..." Val shrugs and her gaze follows Johnny as he paces up and down the room. "...kinda."

Kerry looks confused. "That's... weird." "Yeah, it's even weirder that I can tell ya 'bout it..." She looks at Kerry. "That you know he's there." Then she start so take off her steel-toe boots. "He say's you're joking." "What are you..?" Kerry eyes her. "Joking 'bout what?" Val takes off her socks and stuffs them into her boots before looking at Kerry with a smirk. "About joining you, takin' a nap." "Uhm..." Kerry isn't sure about it himself, whether it was just a joke.

"You know what." She takes off her jacket. "I don't care if it was a joke. I'm fucking tired." She drops her jacket at the floor next to her boots. Kerry looks at her a bit puzzled, eyebrows raised. Then his gaze falls on her chest, where the outlines of her pierced nipples show through her tank top. Val's hands are at the zipper of her pants now. "Are you kidding me?" Johnny shouts from across the room. Val ignores him, opens her pants.

"What..." Kerry looks at Val's hands. "...are ya doin'?" "Oh, I'll not sleep in this. Not exactly comfortable." She answers casually. "You're just wearing briefs, Kerry. I keep myself from staring at your crotch constantly." She smirks at him before she starts to pull down the tight pants. "So it's just fair play." Kerry swallows. He's usually not shy, has seen enough in his life. But Val is a lot. Pants half way down Val looks at him, bent forward. "Besides, I'm supposed to be your new output, right?" She winks at him and then winces a little when Johnny's yelling again. "You heard that?!" He sounds startled, his voice almost cracks.

"You..." Kerry's gaze is on her chest again. Bent forward her boobs are near to completely exposed by the loose neckline. Kerry swallows hard and puts himself together. "You've heard us?" Val steps out of her pants, which are lying on the floor now. "Bits 'n' pieces." She shrugs. That's when Kerry sees the tattoo on her right arm. 'Johnny + V' in a heart. Val can see confusion and disbelief in Kerry's face and follows his gaze. "Oh..." She raises her arm a little. "That's..." She sighs and shakes her head slightly. "That's what happend when I gave him control the first time." "You..." Kerry stares at the ink still in disbelief. "You're telling me, that Johnny..." He's speechless. Val shrugs again. "At least it's small enough to cover it up with something... better." "What!?" Now it's Johnny who's looking at Val in disbelief, frowning and his eyes are going back and forth between her face and the tattoo.

Val's still ignoring him and now just in panties and her loose top she sits down at the edge of Kerry's bed. "Move a lil'." She turns around to look at Kerry. "Well, unless you want me to snuggle up." She winks and Kerry shifts a little. Johnny stands with his back to the bed and his arms crossed in front of his chest looking out of a large window. "Letting Johnny take control is just fucking exhausting every time." Val stretches her arms and yawns. "I wouldn't want to drive all the way to Watson right now." She looks at Kerry and smiles. "So, thanks."

"No problem." Kerry eyes her as she shifts down a bit more, stealing a pillow from him and is getting comfortable. "Just so you know..." She rolls over, one arm under her pillow and looks up to Kerry with a smirk. "I'll probably cuddle up after I fall asleep." Kerry chuckles low. "Oh, I don't mind." Val can hear Johnny's groaning, but ignores him. "Well..." An evil grin on her lips. "We could cuddle now." Kerry isn't quite sure if she's joking. But based on how he's gotten to know her in the last few minutes, she's probably serious.

Johnny has turned around, continuing to rant. "Seriously? Out of all people, Ker? V, you're just..." He runs his hand over his face and Val props herself up a little, to look at him. Kerry follows her gaze but of course he can't see Johnny so he looks at Val from the side as she frowns in annoyance. "There are enough other people in this city." Johnny's voice is loud again. "...not that ya didn't know, you already fucked about half of 'em!" He gesticulates with his arms.

Val remains unimpressed and looks at him annoyed. "Since it seems to bother you so much -" Her voice is calm. "Should I take beta blockers?" "Hell no!" Johnny's answer comes quickly. Val cocks an eyebrow. "So... am I gettin' it right? Usually you complain when I didn't take some and ya telling me how terrible it is being stuck in my head cause you 'have to witness how I'm fucking everyone who can't flee fast enough'." She emphasizes the last part.

Johnny winces a little, because Val's remembered his words, words he said just weeks ago. "You remember..." He mumbles, but she pays no attention, keeps talking to him through her thoughts.. "But now, out of all moments, I'm not allowed to take some beta blockers." Her voice is still calm but she looks angry. "Ya afraid leavin' me alone with 'im or what?" Johnny says nothing, looking at her with narrowed eyes.

As she continues she sounds mad. "I just let ya alone with him. I trusted you with that. Even after what ya did the first time!" She groans. "Ya jealous or what?" "I'm..." Johnny's about to answer when he falls silent, realizing he has no idea how to answer. She's right, she trusted him. But jealous? Who of exactly? It was he who kinda introduced her to Kerry - and definitely not to fill a blank space on her long list of crushes. Hell no - Ker is old enough to be her grandpa... and he's one of very few people knowing about Johnny and the relic. And one of even fewer people who really knew him. Thinking 'bout it - the only person besides Rogue. Leaving Val alone with him... with him of all people.

Fragments of his thoughts appear in Val's mind, but she can't figure them out. She feels annoyance and anger - are those her feelings or his? Confusion - clearly hers and his. And... a hint of jealousy, somewhere at the very back, as if he were pushing it away. Val frowns and tries to ignore his thoughts and feelings. She's not going to ask him about it. He has to figure that out for himself, that's his problem and not hers.

"What? You have nothin' to say anymore?" Val's angry voice interrupts his thoughts and Johnny startles a little, looking at her with a frown. She's right, he has no idea, what to say. His own thoughts are confusing him. "Whatever." Val speaks out loud and turns away from Johnny, lies down again facing Kerry but doesn't really looking at him.

"Uhm..." Kerry looks down at her slightly frowning. "You two talked again?" Val sighs in annoyance. "More like 'we argued again'." Kerry can't help but grin. "He was always good at that." Val's still avoiding Kerry eyes. "He's such a dick." She sighs again. "Well" Kerry chuckles. "Can't deny that."

That's when Johnny starts talking again from across the room. "Fine, just talk about me as if I weren't here, af if I were..." But Val interrupts him without looking at him. She knows exactly what he just wanted to say. "Johnny, you ARE dead." Her voice is calm again, almost carelessly. "Must be exhausting to have him around 24/7." Kerry continues, not hearing anything of their conversation. "What the fuck, Kerry!" Johnny shouts angry.

Val has decided to ignore him completely now and answers Kerry. "It is... sometimes." She yawns and continues with lower voice. "Thanks Kerry, very hospitable of ya." "No problem, kid." Kerry moves down so that he's lying on his back next to her. He lifts his right arm, looking at Val with a smile. "Come here." Val shifts closer with a grin, rests her head on his chest, feeling the soft fabric of his bathrobe at her cheek and places one arm over him. The arm with the tattoo.

Kerry's looking at it for a moment, then he wraps his right arm around her shoulders and while resting his cheek on her head he speaks with low voice. "You know, he said I'd like ya." He grins a little. Val snorts in disbelief. "Sure ya didn't mishear 'im?" Kerry chuckles low and Val can feels the vibration in his chest. She sighs and closes her eyes, trying not to think about Johnny. Thankfully she's exhausted enough to quickly fall asleep under the steady rise and fall of Kerry's chest.

[inthiswhisper]

some people wanted my notes on the siren episode (4x14). i’m not posting everything; i’m sure it’s all been spoken about lol. i mentioned my suspicions about the doctor, so i’ll focus on the end of the episode. (under the cut.)

so, here’s the thing... i read this one with and without “bi dean” goggles on. i saw the angle intended, but also a number of implications.

firstly, the end pushed a familial angle. they obviously wanted to make this about sam and dean, but how they got there is boggling my mind. up until right before the siren’s reveal, i could read the bond he formed with dean as at least platonic. they bonded over the impala and zeppelin — that’s an ideal friend angle. when he said, “i should be your little brother,” it was then familial, but still didn’t feel... idk... believable?

part of it had to do with how they wrote and directed this, which i’ll get into, and some of it had to do with jensen just having chemistry with men, which is not his fault lol. however, it’s also the fact that the actor had chemistry with him and that, physically and otherwise, their dynamic was far more “equal” than “older brother, younger brother” if that makes sense. the guy’s build, his demeanor... he wasn’t “little brother” material. it all put him on a level playing field with dean, if anything.

the only moment that felt “brotherly” was the siren (as nick) trusting dean’s gut and not questioning him, which dean was appreciative of because sam acts the exact opposite way. but everything else? didn’t scream familial to me, and i’m not saying those moments made it inherently romantic or sexual. they don’t have to be, sirens form platonic bonds if it suits their needs, but it was far easier to read as less than familial. in a way, even ambiguously romantic. (especially if we wanna talk about dean as the impala and the siren, ahem, complimenting / intimately knowing the workings of dean’s car. meet someone you want to date? compliment their car’s appearance first. then, you go for drinks, get to know their interests, and build trust. which all happened. in that exact order.)

then, there’s the siren’s setup and background info they saturated the story in. as a disclaimer: i can see them providing a romantic / sexual backstory, and then adding a platonic / familial plot twist to surprise the brothers and the audience. the issue is the romantic / sexual set up is there in the first place. sirens are known to lure men in, transmit their venom through intimate physical contact, and appeal to “whatever floats the guy’s boat” (as dean put it). the implications are inherently romantic and sexual, nothing else. the audience expects a seduction and that intimate contact. though it didn’t appear how we expected, it was still present in the siren bonding with dean and sharing the flask. and, to me, it’s obvious either brother would get seduced by a woman, but only dean seemed likely to get seduced by a guy, so dean was the only logical target chosen.

now, this could be for a number of reasons—

firstly, with what we know about sirens, the siren could’ve gotten dean in bed. usually, dean doesn’t have his guard up when it comes to sex. however, right now he does and he also does when it comes to love, so if sex isn’t an option, seemingly platonic love is. secondly, dean is loyal to and protective of his family, so the siren knew dean would fight to the death to do the siren’s bidding if under his spell. thirdly, it’s dean who has a reason to be angry with sam for the lies and secrets with ruby, so dean’s more likely to lash out at a loved one. the siren’s approach was clever in picking his bond with his brother to win him over. dean just wants mutual trust and the siren feeds on that.

HOWEVER — “bi dean” goggles slipping back on — though sirens form platonic bonds, like i said, the motive is still always a selfish, typically romantic love. the siren may have chosen dean for the aforementioned reasons and approach, but i’m thoroughly convinced he chose dean as male-presenting to throw both sam and dean off, and to successfully win dean’s heart because dean is more likely to reciprocate that love with any gender, unlike sam.

and now, finally, i’ll talk about the choices in writing and direction that left implications. firstly, my issue with the familial angle is that, though platonic, it was too ambiguous. i feel like they should’ve emphasized the siren’s motives through his actions more. i would’ve easily bought the brother thing, but the transition to it felt more like a leap, especially, again, because of the casting of the siren. speaking of, i just looked up an interview he did for the role and the fact that the sexual tension with dean was intentional?? it makes the intimacy in the acting and directing more obvious — closeup shots, shaky cameras. everything felt hazy and suggestive, like a drug.

beyond direction and implicit writing, the explicit writing is the most incredible part of this. to blaze through the obvious ones, the siren blatantly states things like: “i got dean.” “dean’s all mine.” “i want to fall in love again and again and again.” “whoever survives can be with me forever.” “and now [dean] loves me.” ALL of which can’t not be read as romantic. the fact that so many of these are associated mainly with dean, even when briefly directed at sam, is just perfect. the siren may have infected both of them, but wanted dean because he knew dean was more likely to win, so he had dean try to finish the job in the end. not to mention that, though the siren also infected sam directly with more venom than he passed onto dean, dean still somehow became the more intoxicated one. right before dean goes at sam with an axe, it’s like sam broke out of his trance for a second to look at them both, but dean never broke once.

also, and actually finally, after drinks at the club with the siren, dean was on the phone with sam, asking sam, “what is it with you and banging monsters?” dean was clearly frustrated when he asked because he thought sam slept with the siren (who was not the siren). then, we learn sam wasn’t the guilty brother this time. the anger towards sam for allegedly sleeping with the siren is ironic because dean is the one who (albeit metaphorically) slept with the siren. including this line calls out dean’s hypocrisy, of being no better and as susceptible, but it’s also laced with queer subtext because it’s referring to an actually male-presenting siren. 

there’s also a discussion to be had about the association of queerness with otherness in the sense that dean’s male “love interests” are often monsters / non-human beings, and how dean always views himself as other, but, especially after his stint in / revelations about hell, he also views himself as a monster. however, that’s a whole other essay to write.

but, anyway, yeah. these are all the notes and interpretations made out of them. i likely missed a lot, but i had such a great time mining this episode for details.

[shinneth]

For the character thing - Connie Maheswaran and Peridot?

(From this meme)

Ahaha, okay! Interesting, that’s the second time you’ve picked those two specifically... 😏 Guess it is the perfect contrasting kind of duo for me.

NOTP

Lapidot. No disrespect to those who love it (at least, the few of you who love it who aren’t antis), but it didn’t jive with me and felt pretty forced... then it turned out to actually be a legit forced and toxic relationship. And this never got a proper resolution, either.

Honestly, if they couldn’t be assed to properly address the matter of Lapis needing to own up to what she did in Raising the Barn, I’m at least grateful they had zero interaction in SUF (there was literally no real Lapis+Peri interaction unless Bismuth was also there).

That at least gives me the impression that they realized they weren’t compatible roommates and moved on with their lives. Still friends/allies, but much more distant than before. Easy to read that as Peridot putting her foot down for once and asserting to Lapis that things can’t just go back to the way they were before as a consequence of Lapis’ prior actions.

Not that it’s stopped Lapidot from dominating the fandom even now. Literally, the only Lapidot I’d ever read is one that emphasizes what an unhealthy relationship it is and why they need to break apart. There are a couple of fics out there that did this well, surprisingly.

BROTP

Amedot. Literally have never been inclined to ship these two, and I honestly don’t want to. I know it’s a steady #2 as far as Peri ships go, but it just doesn’t interest me at all.

I’ll at least commend it for not being a toxic mess like Lapidot, but Amethyst has had her moments where she was a major asshole to Peri for no good reason (Too Short to Ride).

Generally, I get the impression that the dynamic wouldn’t change much, if at all in a romantic setting. I think it’s also a rare case where “they’re too similar to work out as a couple” is a reason I have for staunchly keeping the Amedot platonic.

(It’s hard being a Peri fan who doesn’t like these two ships, I swear...)

OTP

Stevidot. We all know this. 💚

Second Choice

Spinidot/Perinel... er, Spinel. They sadly never got to interact, but I can easily picture how fun it would be. I’m highly disappointed there’s not much art for the ship, honestly.

Fluff Ship

Ah... Garnet or Bismuth, but mostly Garnet. Yet another ship that has far too little representation. Peri’s admiration for her is just too sweet.

Angst Ship

Oh, that’s easy. Pearl. Both low-caste gems who are high-strung and built to have a rivalry... that’s just a given!

Fave Polyship

Stevinelidot!! Er, Spinel/Steven/Peridot. @thedemonavatar, we need to talk more about writing that OT3 fic one day! ❤️

Weirdest Ship

Ruby and/or Sapphire. Yes, I like both of these a lot. R34’s really the only place I ever get to see it, but I’m thankful it’s at least somewhere.

NOTP

Connverse.

Oh my god, Connverse. Something that started cute, but that wore off fast into mediocrity. And then it crashed and burned, but like Lapis and Peridot, the lack of work involved with properly reconciling made this unbalanced and unhealthy.

“Always in love”, my ass. Can you tell I give zero shits that it’s canon?

This whole ship is a Broken Aesop to me.

BROTP

Uh... Steven, I guess. This is how Connverse should have stayed, in my opinion.

OTP

Pearl. Pretty easy choice when this is the only Connie ship I have any investment in.

Second Choice

Er... who was that kid she broke the arm of? Jeff? Let’s go with him, I guess.

Fluff Ship

Eh... guess I’ll go with Pearl again.

Angst Ship

Pearl... yet again. To be fair, Pearl is kinda made for angst ships and the parallels she and Connie share would make for some good angst.

Fave Poly Ship

Eh... I don’t really have one. Like, at least not one where Connie doesn’t end up left high-and-dry. Guess you could do a Connie/Pearl/Bismuth, but it doesn’t sound that riveting. Sub in Pink Pearl or Mystery Girl or even Rose herself... it’s roughly about as interesting.

Weirdest Ship

Can you tell how invested I am with Connie? Meh. I kinda do see merit in shipping her with Peridot (but of course I would), but that’s about it. Unless I wanna intentionally ship her with some townie or gem with creepy-ass implications.

[sapphos-darlings]

I can get obsessive thoughts that I keep playing over & over on repeat, right now the main thought I'm having is "am I lesbian?’ I mean sure I find other ladies really pretty and awe inspiring and I like looking at bodacious curve models but more in a ‘wow they’re pretty and confident and I look sort of similar so maybe I can look pretty and confident too’ type of way. Also in porn I do focus on the woman more than the guy though I imagine more about it being me having sex and not the woman (1

I do find women very pretty & amazing though I think it’s in a platonic way? I mean, I don’t meet women in real life & want to bed them or be romantic though I am curious about the idea! I’m really shy & anxious around guys & I prefer fictional men to crush on. I like the idea of having a boyfriend & being intimate but the reality is so nerve wracking. Plus I rarely see a guy in real life & think ‘I wanna jump him!!’ Ah I’m so confused?! I don’t know what attraction is supposed to feel like :/

Hello there, Anon!

That sounds like a lot to have on your heart. It’s good to talk about it.

The first thing I thought was “I wonder how old she is”. If you are a teenager or just barely an adult, I can promise you everything will clear up in time and the answers will come to you. You’re just not ready yet, and you should let yourself bloom at your own pace. We don’t all figure out our exact feelings at the age of 12 and remain that way.

And if you’re older, what gave me that impression is how sudden and overwhelming these thoughts seem to be to you. It’s not childish or immature or anything, just a sign that this is new and pressing. 

Questioning is alright. I want you to know that. It is alright to not know. Time will often tell, and asking the question is the first step towards the answer.

I don’t know if you’re a lesbian or not, and since your main concerns seem to be that you don’t know and that you’re confused, I’d advice you to be open to any possibility. I know it’s scary and that uncertainty is not fun, but you are still you no matter what, and you deserve all the time to learn and reflect that you need.

It’s alright to not know what attraction feels like, and it’s alright not to experience it at all. It’s also alright if it just takes time, and it’s alright if you’re just not there yet in your development. Many teens and young adults don’t experience crushes or love until they are 15, 18, 20, even older, and simply time for yourself to grow may be all that you need. It’s one of those things that when you do feel it, you’ll know it. 

Personally I don’t watch porn, and I’d advice you to not let it dictate your sexuality for you either, especially if you’re young. Porn is not a truthful or healthy reflection of sexuality, it’s manufactured (often very unethically) for profit and its target audience is men. All the answers to your pressing questions are in you, not in any porn vid or your reaction to them.

Some people never experience attraction, romantic or sexual, to anyone. That is a possibility as well, and it’s just as natural and fine. You are already yourself, your own person who doesn’t need anyone else to be complete, and being asexual or aromantic doesn’t mean you’re immature or childish or cold-hearted or lonely. Friendships are relationships too, and you already admire and appreciate others, so you’re well-equipped for those. Friendships and platonic relationships in general are not inferior forms of human connection, affection or love. Culture tends to emphasize romantic love and marriage and family as these rites of passage and mandatory things to good life, but there are other ways to live and exist in society.  

So don’t rush yourself, and don’t pressure yourself. Inspect the feelings you do have and experience and be honest to yourself about them, and don’t try to force yourself into any sort of mold. You’ll figure it out in time. Just be kind and accepting towards yourself. 

- Lavender

[approximately12screamingcats]

the hunger games re-read part 1

so the first time i read the hunger games i was...10? 11? somewhere in there. the last time i read them (before now) i was probably 13. i decided about a week or two ago i wanted to read them again, because it had been awhile and i knew i would get more and different things out of them now than then. 

i just finished the first book, and i wanna share some of my thoughts, contrasting them to old ones and giving new ones 

under the cut because it’s gonna be real long 

katniss 

i’d say the biggest difference in my last times reading these and now is my opinion on katniss. when i was younger i had the easy opinion that she was boring and annoyingly emotionless. but honestly that’s really not true, and i think it was in part influenced by her portrayal in the movies, which i always thought was good enough but could’ve been better, and i’d go so far to say now that her casting wasn’t great. but also, a movie in third person is very different from a book in first. 

but really what i found, katniss is not emotionless, and she’s not boring. no, she’s still not what i would consider a favorite character of mine, i don’t love her, she’s not exactly my type of character that i love. but she’s interesting, and already a fascinating example of what hardship can do to a person. emotionless was such a wild impression to have of her, but i know i wasn’t the only one that thought that. i can say i definitely do not think that now. 

she clearly says near the beginning of the book that she’s learned and taught herself to appear emotionless, so that she doesn’t betray her true feelings about the capitol and endanger herself or her family. but she isn’t emotionless at all. she feels very deeply, whether it’s ones she can identify like her love for prim, or ones she can’t, like her (growing) love for peeta. 

the most marked thing about katniss is how her entire life has been driven by this need to survive. it encompasses everything she does, everything she has always done, and overshadows almost everything else. since she was eleven years old, she’s had to provide daily for her family, constantly watching out for starvation and arrest and death by wild animals. it’s no surprise she has no idea how to feel about things outside of that. she even says after the games she doesn’t know who she is when she doesn’t have to fight for food every day anymore. i haven’t gotten there yet, but i think that same theme comes back in the beginning of catching fire. her identity has been wrapped in this survival mode, and it’s twisted her into this person that has had to suppress any and all wants of things that could interfere with surviving. she’s not emotionless, she just quite literally has not had the time or energy to think about anything else and how to process it. 

the romance 

there’s a lot of opinions surrounding this romance. frankly, at the simplest levels, it’s part of the plot. the star crossed lovers of district 12. but yeah, of course there’s more than that. this is a little hard for me to evaluate without bringing up the other books, but tbh i’ll say what i think now with this one fresh in my mind and the others more distant, and see if it changes after catching fire and mockingjay. 

anyway, since addressing the love triangle is unavoidable, i have always liked peeta and katniss as a couple more than gale and katniss. originally, i think at least 50% of why was simply because i liked peeta and i didn’t like gale. interestingly, that opinion still holds solid, but that’s not really why i like katniss and peeta better anymore. 

katniss, already in book one, is not ambivalent to peeta and she certainly does not dislike him. honestly, i used to think it wasn’t until someway through catching fire that she began to really love him (romantically). but this read through made me realize she is already starting to in this book. it’s under the surface, and definitely doesn’t take hold until catching fire, but it’s there. their connection is emphasized and shown multiple times even before they get into the games. so many times it’s made apparent that she at least cares about him, but i’d say there’s beginnings for more than that. 

the unfortunate thing is that being pushed into the whole love story thing for survival, and in front of everyone, is a really terrible environment for someone who barely understands her own emotions to be processing new ones. she’s worried about him dying, she’s incredibly hurt when she thinks he betrayed her for the careers (betrayal is a very strong word for her to choose here too, when she’s been pondering this whole time how one of them has to die). she very evidently wants him to live when she finds him by the stream. frankly, he was already dying, if she really didn’t care about him, she could have easily let him die without it even looking suspect to the audience. she’s not great at medical, which is shown a lot. 

and i mean, how many times does she say she can’t bear the idea of being without him? of him dying? yes, usually these are either quick thoughts in a tense moment, or fraught with confusion or other musings, or paired in direct contrast with gale, but they’re there. she worries about it a lot. at the very end, when peeta realizes “it was all a sham for the audience” she even says she’s not sure if it was only fake, and that she misses him already. 

to an extent, there’s bonding from trauma here, but i don’t think that’s an invalid manner of bonding? and it’s not just in and after the games that this shows either. it’s there a little bit from the start. she just has to get to know him. 

i need to restrain myself from diving too deep into what’s coming here, but i’ll say this: as the books go on, obviously a lot more happens, but i really think one massive block in the way of katniss admitting to falling in love with peeta is the fact that it’s so blatant and open in front of the capitol. katniss hates the capitol, as does most everyone in the districts. but having her whole life on display like that, forcing her out of a decision, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him, but it is very easy to see how that would make someone (especially a private person) want to withdraw away from that relationship. and katniss, having such a difficult time with her own emotions anyway since her live has been all about survival, doesn’t need that extra barrier on everything to muddle up her emotions and make it harder for her to tell what’s real or not real (lmao). 

as for gale, cause i know some people think she clearly loves him, i can get into that more as i get back into the other two books. but from this one so far, and what i remember, a lot of the gale vs peeta stuff isn’t so much about a straight up romance love triangle, but more about what katniss’ life is vs what she wishes it could be. katniss presents herself as a cold and hard person, but she really isn’t like that. she loves soft things, she wants to live in peace, she loves rue and prim and got excited about giving a goat to her sister that she splurged on a ribbon for it. she sang with her father and only stopped when he died. she says she could never admit to her mother how much she needs her gentle touch. the life katniss is living, silent and stoic and always fighting in the woods, is not what she wants. gale, her friend that she definitely genuinely loves (platonically), is parallel to her life. the hunter, full of rage against the capitol, symbol to everything she’s known out of necessity, not want. peeta is calmer, gentler, a symbol to the life she wishes she could have. that’s why they eventually settle down in the epilogue. gale was never the romantic partner katniss needed. 

but ive gone far past book one and i’ll get back into these analysis later when catching fire and mockingjay and the epilogue are fresher in my mind. 

the rebellion 

when i first read these books, my favorite parts were the action and peeta. but man. reading this through now, the story of this rebellion and the rising of people for their justice just screams through the page. and im not even to catching fire yet. it hit me when district 12 raised the salute to katniss, but it hit me even harder when rue died and when cato died. i mean...rue’s death. how katniss covers her in flowers. sings for the first time. drawing to light the utter inhumanity of what the capitol puts children through. but this part got to me specifically: 

“I can’t stop looking at Rue, smaller than ever, a baby animal curled up in a nest of netting. I can’t bring myself to leave her like this. Past harm, but seeming utterly defenseless. To hate the boy from District 1, who also appears so vulnerable in death, seems inadequate. It’s the Capitol I hate, for doing this to all of us.” 

i can almost hear the lament in that line, “it’s the capitol i hate, for doing this to all of us.” because that’s the truth. they throw up this show, driving them to competition, to hatred, but in the end, even the careers are victims of the capitol. 

cato’s death too, for so many of the same reasons. i mean, it’s hard to read this and not feel outright repulsion at what hell the capitol is putting on these people. making the mutts, making them look like the tributes, and then the sheer agony of cato being eaten alive. when katniss and peeta decide to kill him, to relieve him of his misery, it again reveals the truth of things, behind the fancy gold curtain the capitol tries to put up in front of the games. 

“It takes a few moments to find Cato in the dim light, in the blood. Then the raw hunk of meat that used to be my enemy makes a sound, and I know where his mouth is. And I think the word he’s trying to say is please. 

Pity, not vengeance, sends my arrow flying into his skull.” 

these parts are the first set up we get for what happens later. the games are awful enough, but seeing them so raw and unhindered, from the first hand account, you can’t look away. 

i don’t know. i can’t put it into words yet, but it moves me immensely. just the story of a people oppressed for so long, revealing the horror and setting themselves free. 

other small observations

i kinda wish i had read these books again when i was 16. because 16 sounded so old when i was 10-13, but now it seems young. i would have liked to read it knowing i was the same age as katniss, picturing how that really would be. 

i also forgot cinna was not literally lenny kravitz. 

i have not read a book this fast for recreation in years, and im LIVING. 

[beowulfs-booty-call]

Shiros like 25 wyd posting Sheith

Ehhh, 

on the marks of the ages I barely tried dealing with it because while 

Yes. It’s obvious Shiro’s an adult.

HOWEVER,

The ages listed in the Voltron book are apparently still vague af because they were accepted by fanon yet the Voltron team has not actually been “affiliated with it” as seen on the wiki

Like, even with that, Keith is technically 18 in space at season 1 with Lance being 17 along with Hunk. But with time being such a vague factor, the time towards season 2/3 can be like a year without even knowing. It’s not like the crew were celebrating their birthdays because the show isn’t about furthering their personal developments through age (However Pidge has still remarked that she shouldn’t be treated as a kid of course.)

That said, I like sheith. I project myself through Keith and I love the dynamic he has with Shiro. And I like to think he’s obviously like 19 at this point if we wanna use the book as canon, however, we aren’t given factual info just yet since the book which “confirmed” the ages are of course, invalid.

Perfectly saying, again, I get Shiro is like 25, I personally see him like 24 or so considering how advanced he must have been compared to the other characters by the time he went post-kerberos.

However, to strictly tag him as 25 when we still don’t have a canon age is sorta… a bit much anon. 

I get people are waaaaay too off with Sheith because somehow this seems like “pedophilia” but the fact is, Shiro isn’t a predator as people make him out to be; far from it.

Keith already looks to Shiro as a leader and probably so much more than anyone else in the story, and you can already see the hug™ among other parts of the storyline that emphasizes it.

And I like that dynamic: Shiro cares about Keith in a way so much more than he’s used to and acknowledges that.

Keith was the one who went the furthest to find Shiro and couldn’t accept that he was gone for some time, and didn’t want to be the black paladin when the time came, hoping to give the position back to Shiro ASAP when he arrives.

People also want to say not to ship the two because of the brother comment Keith uses in the BOM trial, but I like to think that Keith simply can’t access or talk about his feelings just yet: After all out of all the people that show up in his illusion, it’s Shiro, not his father, or whatever could be his mother. And the comment, 

“Your friend desperately wants to see you”

Gets me every time.

I think when we finally get the Voltron team to tell us whether or not Shiro’s obviously so much older than the team to dissuade others from shipping shieth, I think then I’ll not post about it and so on, but honestly?

Why not ship it since we don’t have canon ages? Netflix described them as “teens”, and who knows? Shiro could have been 21 or 22 and just graduated quicker in the Garrison because he was just that good a pilot / researcher / soldier.

The other thing is, the team also barely could be “children” besides Pidge (Though it’s already shown she’s not, just saying children as in the Garrison by logic obviously isn’t using children to fight or work in the military) that the vagueness of the ages just don’t apply: It’s not even used for the plot because they’re out here fighting against the Galra. I don’t think in the plot, anyone cares how old you are besides the general ages of being in the later teens / young adults / college kids. Even if you wanted to argue that Keith just isn’t in the same mindset as Shiro due to being different ages, at this point, their mindset is mainly about taking on the role of Paladins and fighting the Galra for peace in the universe. (What happens after that? I dunno. I might write about that.) But it’s also that sort of mindset that makes them all… More mature when they’re just teens / adults. It’s hardened them to think about the wellbeing of the universe rather than their personal lives.

Like, if it was really about that, I say the team would have been on Shiro and the team’s age asap: But they haven’t reviewed the book that claimed the ages as such so the info isn’t valid until they come together and say what is or not!

So with this, I’ll say:

Ship what you like, but have obvious boundaries / knowledge.

Shipping Shiro with Pidge is pretty much sorta on the “Yeah… No” seeing as Pidge was is likely the youngest of the bunch and more younger than Matt who’s likely Lance’s/Hunk’s/Keith’s age. Shipping Shiro with a child character is obviously pedophillia. Shipping any child character with an adult is pedophillia.

But shipping two obvious adults (if we really wanna use Keith’s age of being 18/19 currently with the book even if it’s wrong) isn’t as bad because not only is their relationship healthy, there’s nothing really “bad” about it sans the ages, and honestly: it’s already shown Keith and Shiro knew each other before Shiro went off to the Kerberos mission.

What I think? Keith was Shiro’s biggest fan and was one of the main reasons that he was well on his way in the garrison because they were in the background of when Matt and Pidge had their picture, before Shiro went to space and ended up going missing causing Keith to drop out for however long it took for him to come back.

But anyway, sorry for the long essay Anon, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Sheith until the team comes forward and says what ages are the characters to stick to. In my eyes, Keith is about 19 years old and a consenting adult with Shiro being 24/5 and also a consenting adult. I’m not into making their relationship anyway toxic or worse than as wonderful and stable as theirs have been in the show and in Fanon, and I think I like it that way.

Until the team says otherwise that, hey, these are the canon ages and the relationship between these two are strictly Platonic / Romantic, there’s nothing wrong with shipping them in my honest opinion. After all, for the things Klance (Valid being one) has, I like to think the other ships can have too. And that goes beyond just Shalladin (I know people already have problems with that so I like to just stick to Sheith as it’s my preferred ship and it’s the most down to earth relationship for Shiro in my perspective), whatever ship you may have anon, I respect that, but I wouldn’t deem Sheith problematic because we don't know canon ages of yet, I would rather say it was problematic because it either 

A.) Is a toxic relationship

B.) One or the other party is hurt or is an adult while the other is a child

C.) Canonically the two don’t like each other and have reasons to hate each other (For example, one character killing the other’s closest family relative or something like that. A bit on the far side, sure, but that’s an example of a relationship that you shouldn't ship anyway.)

[amalgamezz]

1-50 (I can't think of another question for 51 I'm sorry T^T)

Thank you for asking!! :D

My answer to some questions will be brief because there are 50 of them so if anyone wants me to elaborate, please feel free to send me another ask.

Also gonna put everything under read more because it’s hella long.

Oh boi, here we go…

1. Favorite character

2. Favorite route

So far, Jumin Route remains my favourite because it hits home for me and literally serves as a call out post to my own ass ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. Favorite theme

Endless Struggle (Ray’s Theme)

I’m The Strongest (Saeran’s Theme)

4. Favorite chat background

5. Favorite “Cheritz” voice

Jumin Han cuz I’m biased

6. Favorite voice

Gimme a sec. Let me check.

Oh no,

I’m still biased 😱

7. Favorite chat emoji

8. Favorite kiss

9. Favorite confession of love

10. Favorite RFA party outfits

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11. Favorite party guest

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ intensifies]

12. Favorite chat

13. Favorite call

This

and this

What can I say? I live for angst ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

14. Favorite CG

Also arguably the best VN of the game.

15. Favorite good end

I’d prefer his NE, but on the other hand, I live for drama ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

16. Favorite after ending

He grows so much. I’m proud of him.

17. Favorite bad end

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

18. Worst bad end

See q(48).

19. Favorite headcanon

Saeran is a Jumin stan

Fite me on this (ง'̀-‘́)ง

20. Favorite ship (platonic/romantic)

I’m not a shipper but I’d say I do find these ships interesting:

- Vanderwood/Jaehee

- Saeran/Yoosung

- Saeyoung/Yoosung

- V/Zen

21. Favorite character interaction with each other

Jumin vs. Zen

Seven vs. Yoosung

22. Best plot

I’d say I really love Saeran’s character arc,,,,,,,,,

But there are various factors that make it very difficult for me to fully enjoy his route. As someone who does love Saeran, I feel goddamn conflicted about it and my stand is also controversial af so I’m not gonna spill it here either. For now, I’ll just rewrite a part of the route in my head and pretend it to be canon instead lol

23. Best character development

Jumin, Saeran, Yoosung

Don’t make me choose between them pls

24. Best antagonist

Probably Rika and her natural manipulative talents lmao because how else the stans can still excuse her doing after all that.

25. Worst antagonist

Echo Girl, Choi Sisters. Mainly because those types of antagonists are very common and have no depth at all.

26. Best character design

HAVE U SEEN MY HUSBAND?

27. Character who left the biggest impression on you

You can pinpoint the fraction of a second in which I fell in love.

28. Character you’d want to be BFFs with

Jumin, Seven, Jaehee

29. Character you romantically ship yourself with

I’ve come to a realization that my hopeless aromantic ass isn’t actually romantically attracted to any character but if I must choose, Jumin is the only one whom I can imagine myself romancing with lmao

30. Most relatable character

I’m a disastrous mix of Jumin and Seven. It’s hilarious 😂

31. Most tragic character

*clenches fist*

Would choose the other one to emphasize my point but I’d rather minimize her appearance on my blog.

32. Funniest character

YOUR TURN, SEVEN.

33. First route

Zen. Honestly, that still surprises me because realistically our personalities would clash a looooooot.

34. First impression of the game

“It’s just a goddamn dating sim. What makes it so hot?”

No wonder it’s called Mistake Messenger.

35. First impression for each character

Zen [*excessively flirtin’ and braggin’*]

Pls pls pls stop flirting with me. Pls stop talking about ur look. It’s such a turn offffff T^T

Jaehee [”You like Zen, do you???”]

But I don’t;;;;;;; 

Jumin [”Please only call me when necessary” *hang up*]

R00d. I like him.

Yoosung [*skipping classes, staying up 24/24 gaming, failing tests*]

Goddamn relatable, bro

Seven [*meme my way through depression*]

L3t’s m4rry 4t th3 sp4c3 st4t10ns!!!

Little did I know how he’d betray me in his own damn route 🙂

V [*hops in* *hops out*]

Annyeong-

Oh.

Unknown [*currently abroad but wants MC to help return a phone by going to an apartment somewhere in Korea*] 

Sounds fake but okay

[*actually got prologue BE*]

Who wears like this these days?

Do you need help with your jacket?

Rika

So, how many bucks do you wanna bet she will somehow show up alive?

[*pretends to be surprised as she actually shows up alive*]

36. First character you fell for

Don’t judge me, okay

37. Korean OP vs English OP

Korean version.

38. Current number of hourglasses

I have 730 HGs and 26k hearts. So that would be 990 in total.

39. How did you find out about this game? What made you decide to download it?

A friend recommended it to me. My curiosity got me and I searched up the fandom. Amused, I then downloaded it for a laugh.

FYI, she quit some months after.

But look at where I am now.

40. When did you start playing it?

Oct 3rd, 2016

41. Have you completed all the routes and unlocked the secret endings?

Yup

42. Free to play or paid to play? If so, what did you spend on?

I’ve got phone call cards for all characters. Best purchases ever made.

43. Were you ever obsessed with this game at one point?

I’ve never thought I’d spend any cent on a game, not mentioning an otome game. And yet.

So, you might as well assume I’m still very obsessed lol

44. How dedicated are you to this game? Do you set alarms and try to get 100% for each day etc?

I’m a human disaster. Who needs alarms? What is sleep? 😂

45. Do you play the game blindly or follow walkthroughs?

I went blindly mostly. There were some arcs of a route that I searched up for general tips/ideas of what I should do rather than strictly stick to the walkthrough.

46. Did you play the game properly? From casual route to deep route in recommended order?

My playing order was Zen > Jumin > Seven > Jaehee > Yoosung > V > Saeran

The main reason is that I was about two months late into fandom. I didn’t want to be spoiled any further so I just jumped into deep route right after I got enough 80 HGs.

The other reason is I was too thirsty for curious about Juju; I can’t wait any longer lmao

47. Moments that made you laugh out loud?

There are a lot but this one is off the top of my head.

48. Ever cried or shed a tear while playing?

I fuck’d up 😂 Even this is too angsty for me.

49. How many photos/screenshots of MM are in your photo gallery?

None. A 3 GB otome game is already an overkill for my phone’s memory 😂

50. How has this game affected you overall? Do you regret playing it?

Financial -20%

I’ve spent $30 on an otome game. This itself is a goddamn record-breaking 😂

Health -50%

Mystic Messenger has utterly destroyed my sleep cycle #feelingblessed?

Education +20%

Mystic Messenger is not just a dating game. It touches various real-life topics and can actually be deep in many ways. I’m grateful that I’ve got to learn a lot from it.

Life productivity -50%

Catch me doing anything MM-related instead of doing homework. Maybe I’m also doing it right now.

Pleasure and Friendship +600%

Tbqh, the best thing this game has brought to me is that I get to know a lot of amazing folks whom I’m honoured to call my friends. You know who you are. Lots of 💜💜💜

Overall: +500%

Do I regret it? The stats are suggesting no; nope; nada. Zero regrets.

[jinlian]

I’ve joked a lot about how YOI made me gayer, and like, in lighthearted terms, it really did. And I think a lot of people still don’t quite understand why the show resonated with a lot of LGBT fans, and not just because there were two men who fell in love on screen. 

To put it in more serious terms, there was -- is -- something incredibly relatable about Yuuri’s Eros arc that made me, a bisexual woman still very much coming to terms with her newly-discovered identity, just feel... reassured. I’m twenty-five years old now: twenty-four when YOI was airing, and twenty-two when I realized that my attraction to women was not purely platonic. That’s twenty-two years of telling myself over and over that I’m definitely straight, definitely wouldn’t want to do anything sexual with women, definitely wouldn’t ever, ever have to confront that fear. And in the year that I did actually start coming to terms with “bi” being an identity that felt right, I was on an unfamiliar campus, in an unfamiliar environment, and unable to turn to my best friends from undergrad with whom I could discuss the worries and fears I had regarding my own identity. (I’m a really private person. Even if they’d been here with me I don’t know if I would have opened up about it.)

I spent a lot of time questioning myself. I knew I was still attracted to men--kept telling myself I still preferred them, like a quick escape route to continue avoiding actually confronting my genuine confusion. When I came out to my mother I decided to emphasize that, downplay my feelings for women, just to make sure she didn’t make a “big deal” out of it. I was definitely bi. But I’d also never been with a woman--so maybe I was faking it, maybe I wasn’t a “real” bisexual, maybe I’d just made myself believe it. I’d never actually be with a woman. I wouldn’t have to deal with what the sexuality part of my sexuality meant.

(Worth noting that I also have sex-related trauma, but that’s not for this post. Point being: coming to terms with actually being sexual with “my gender” was not easy, and I was often self-conscious and uncertain.)

So you can see where this starts to relate to Eros.

I’ve also talked a lot about how I relate to YOI from an athlete’s perspective, and yeah, being in-season and drooling exhaustedly over your meal is such a mood. Extremely relatable from that alone that Yuuri would decide on impulse that katsudon is his eros -- y’all have never seen me in the dining hall after dinner on a doubles day of swim practice. 

It’s pretty clear to me as a viewer that Yuuri’s got a big huge fucking celebrity crush on Victor from day one, and whether or not Victor actually intended to parade his chiseled dripping wet nude body to Yuuri on day one doesn’t change the fact that he did. Yuuri’s nervous around him, blushes when Victor comes too close, feels his heart pounding, lies awake in happiness at nighttime, jerks back when he comes too close. Yuuri’s attracted to him, and not just out of admiration. 

Of fucking course he didn’t shout that Victor was his eros.

First, speaking as someone with sexual experience, sometimes you just wanna kick back with a nice big bowl of ice cream anyway. I think it may have been Kubo who talked about how the katsudon-is-Eros idea came out of a conversation she had once about teaching young, inexperienced dancers to express sensuality by pretending you were tasting honey on your hands. Second, if you’re not wholly comfortable with your sexuality--a very very common experience for people who are LGBP--you’re not gonna scream it from the rooftops. And even if you’re straight you’re not likely to scream to your own childhood crush that he’s your Eros, either.

Katsudon is delicious. Katsudon is safe.

Katsudon lasts for about one and a half performances.

Victor is patient and understanding with Yuuri’s metaphors from the very beginning, but just as much as he rolls with using katsudon to get the performance he wants out of Yuuri, he also doesn’t hold back from being clear about what’s happening, either. He does this patiently, encouragingly: “Dance like you’re trying to seduce me. If you can charm me, you can charm anyone.” (Okay Victor “touch-starved” Nikiforov)

Yuuri is already dropping the metaphor in episode three.

He’s still using it, but he’s stopped thinking in it--that moment he hugs Victor, and Victor is solid and warm and comforting. “Who am I dancing for? I know who. I’m better than any woman out there... you know why?”

He’s easing back a little bit but he’s still playing it safe. In Japanese Yuuri is using more feminine speech in his internal monologue, playing a part. And god is that relatable. It isn’t just that he feels comfortable with more feminine movements, which is a whole other wonderful unexpected moment in itself. He admits that, but he’s still making that sexuality safe, making it straight in his mind, making it something he doesn’t have to confront about himself, admit to the world as himself--

And then there’s the Cup of China.

Between episodes three and six we watch Yuuri’s and Victor’s relationship grow open. Yuuri secludes himself away from Victor when he starts to feel vulnerable, and it’s even a little bit ambiguous why. As a skater, definitely. But personally as well, and that’s addressed tentatively, carefully, in that conversation on the beach. Yuuri talks about letting people in, about comfort, about trust, and god, god, you don’t know how scary it is to talk about your sexuality when it’s something that you don’t understand yourself either. You need to trust people--and even when you do, you can feel so hideously silly and immature.

“It’s time to stop picturing pork cutlet bowls and women,” Victor tells Yuuri. “Seduce me as yourself.”

“The world already hates me for stealing Victor,” Yuuri thinks, “and they won’t be satisfied with the old me, either.”

Phichit posts that picture of naked Victor draping over Yuuri the night before the men’s short. 

“Don’t ever take your eyes off me,” Yuuri tells Victor.

And there are no metaphors, no feminized speech patterns, no katsudon, just Yuuri skating for Victor’s love, a decision that fuck it, who he is and what he wants is more important than what the world thinks of him. It’s brave. And it’s scary!! It’s really scary to go out and tell the whole goddamn world that you’re not straight, it takes courage to confront something you haven’t often let yourself confront before. He grows into that. And in episode eight, that comfort with who he is, with his love and the love he has with Victor, makes Yuuri his strongest.

It’s sexual. It’s encouraging. And for me it was practically overwhelming.

Being physically intimate with someone is nerve-wracking. You’re exposed, you’re on the spot, you often feel vulnerable. Not that you should, but you do, especially when you’re uncertain about yourself in the first place. I joke that YOI made me gayer because I saw Yuuri becoming happier and confident and stronger for that confrontation with his sexuality, and I began to do it, too. It was scary for him; it’s still scary for me. But I’ve gone from half believing I never even wanted to deal with something that was a part of me from wanting everyone to know it (even if it’s still scary sometimes and makes my heart pound and my mouth dry when I have a chance to admit what I am in public) to wanting to be with women, with specific women, with accepting my fear but opening up to it anyway and finding myself happy. It’s not even a joke that YOI led to my first ~actually gay~ experience, lol. I’m still coming to terms with it--but god it’s relatable. Not just romantic attraction but the sexuality in Eros, the feeling of physically wanting someone next to you, feeling nervous, feeling strange, uncertain how this could even be right and yet it is.

Eros is physical. Yuri on Ice deals with the more emotional side of the romance as a performance, but watching a gay man blossom as he comes to term with his sexuality in a sweet and loving sports anime was a unique experience for me, and it came just at a time when I needed it.