#oh no! my disability has disabled me!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
It was never ‘social anxiety’ it was fucking pattern recognition, but no I’m the paranoid one for always worrying that people hate me. It’s almost like I have a disorder that’s lots of people hate me for that has a symptom of recognising the pattern of being treated like shit for something I have no control over.
a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints
#raven rants#autism#oh no! my disability has disabled me!#how dare I recognise pattern with my pattern recognition disorder#god forbid i have a symptom of my disability#like the amount of people who will say#but that’s just anxiety#they don’t really hate you#they’d tell you if they didn’t like you#you’re just overthinking this#NO THE FUCK IM NOT#BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE TIME IT TURNES OUT THEY DID HATE ME
71K notes
·
View notes
Text
so. rescuing kittens, huh.
#paper craft#help me kdfhgkghj they dont let me sleep....#its hard being a single mother of three.#we're taking them to the shelter tomorrow but we've been caring for these babies for about 3 days now and oh my stars dgkhdfgdjgkd#anyways the one climbing siffrin is named cupid he was the first we found#the one by his foot is valentine she is a sweetheart??#and then the one below cupid is arrow she is very talented#there was a fourth kitten but we couldn't capture them :( hopefully they're okay!!!#this is very difficult <3 bc of many reasons!!! gonna vent a teeny rq buuuuut#i lost my therapy cat in november. and we can't afford to get me a cat in our current situation#which is fine!!!!!#but.... taking care of these guys is really triggering my mourning and grief something fierce#and also theyre incredibly physically taxing and it's making my disability flare up pretty rough#so this has been... an exhausting few days
169 notes
·
View notes
Text
the mirror pool
so ive been thinking about this au ive wanted to make inspired by the incredible pogd au by @beluvbug for a while !!
this is a very self indulgent au based on pinkie dealing with the conflict of wanting to be taken seriously while also playing themselves down constantly as a way to please others, especially when it come to their identity as nonbinary and their disabilities
i was going to make the first post about this au a little comic but ironically the disabilities have made that a bit hard and i wanted to post something for it
#i cant settle on a name for the au though ive thought of “the super duper pony pleaser” au or “the joker card” au but nothing is sticking#idk but i love this and i loved making it#also yes pinkie too is doggy. dogboys forever#OH also pinkie uses any pronouns except for she/her in this au but has a strong preference for they/them#it refers to themself as “she” in this because their referring to this made up version of themself that didnt have to deal with-#the hardships of being nonbinary and disabled even though they know deep down that its pointless to imagine and im using a distorted-#version of the canon pinkie pie to represent his twisted perception of itself#my little pony#my little pony friendship is magic#mlp#mlp fim#pinkie pie#my stuff 🌠#my art 🎲#img 🎨#me 🐶#g4#pinkie#oh yeah and its my birthday today 🎉#i also forgot to mention i drew this on jspaint on my phone 👍#so sorry if it looks a lil messy#sdpp au
160 notes
·
View notes
Text
I JUST FOUND OUT I CAN BIKE WITHOUT* PAIN!!!!! I JUST FOUND OUT I CAN BIKE WITHOUT PAIN!!!!!!! I NOW HAVE TWO PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES I CAN DO WITHOUT PAIN!!!!!!! I CAN BIKE WHEN IM NOT FIGURE SKATING!!!!!!! IM GENUINELY SOBBING RIGHT NOW THIS IS SUCH A MASSIVE THING FOR ME YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
* = check tags for explanation
#My chronic pain has been getting so much worse lately#Dislcoations are also happening more often#And as someone who used to be insanely athletic I’ve been grieving so heavily for who I used to be and what I used to be capable of#I used to be able to run a marathon easily and now *walking* is painful#I use a cane most days now#My literal only freedom is while figure skating#And to discover there’s another thing I can do? I feel like I’m getting a piece of myself back even while my health is getting worse#This feels so euphoric#But knowing I be active by skating? It’s been my life line. And now I can bike!#And I just don’t know what to say#Also for clarification I can bike now but it’s still painful to a degree: Figure skating is not painful for me#But biking still has a level of pain but so far it’s not like ‘I’m completely unable to do this’ pain instead it’s like#‘Wow yeah this is painful but everything is and this is a pain I can manage to deal with because I’m being active and that makes me happy’#ykwim?#Oh and new symptoms of paralysis. I’ll make a post about that too. My luck is awesome /s#Chronic illness#Fibromyalgia#hEDS#Cane user#dynamic disability#Disabled#Chronic pain#Disability#Chronically ill
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
pjo s2 has the opportunity to make such a good comment on ableism in gen z. like as someone who was in high school hearing the r slur or “sped” or “acoustic” used so casually in so many places, i would actually break down crying if they got matt sloan to call tyson like “sped” and then see annabeth absolutely wreck his shit. i’d cheer so hard. the heroes of this story are disabled, the point of the original series was to create neurodivergent representation for kids, and it feels so so so necessary.
#crunchyposts#pjo#pjotv#it’s necessary all the time i’m just reminded of this bc specifically sloan calls tyson the r slur in sea of monsters#and it hit me so hard upon reread like yeah that’s what it’s like being in school w kids HAHHAJAHAKJBAJHKGSJJHVDJJHBDJHB i’m losing it y’all#this show has such a wide market please i need to see less people using those fucking words#oh wow now i’m remembering how insecure i felt about being autistic in that school#awful. awful experience would not recommend and i’m hesitant to call myself disabled#my problems are not that big especially compared to people w intellectual disabilities#people who have worse social skills than me etc etc#i just need representation of a kid being a complete asshole in the way i’ve seen in real life#and then the hero of the story punching them in the face for it
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
can i make a post about being irritated by antimaskers as a disabled person without annoying people trying to condescendingly explain accommodations for my disability to me! btw!
#like how poor is your reading comprehension that you don't understand that what i'm mad about is antimaskers' BAD FAITH invocation of#a disability that i have#like with these customer freaks i am making good faith attempts to accommodate them and they are rejecting those attempts and#refusing to work with me to identify and enact an accommodation#and instead just double down and harangue me for wearing a mask and keep insisting i take it off#which like. does not make me feel like these are good faith attempts to request accommodation#and are more likely antimasker customers trying to badger me into compromising my safety with like#a weaponized invocation of disability that if i'm being honest feels very flippant about the actual difficult lived reality of disabilty#so to be honest it feels VERY annoying to be condescended to by people on here lack reading comprehension and think that i#simply do not know enough about accommodations!#also to the person who brought up sign language in the replies it's actually a know language education and rights problem that#many Deaf/HOH don't know ASL or their contextual sign language and may not have access to opportunities to learn/practice/use it#so tbh i'm sure that person meant well but it did make me feel the exact same strangled rage#as when white people speak a bit of mandarin are like 'oh teehee i guess that makes me a better asian than you' like fuck OFF#at least no one has pulled a full how dare you say we piss on the poor yet but can people actually read things somewhat or at all#and not try to tumblrsplain hearing disabilities to me!!!!!!!#i'm soooooooo irate when i should be having pizza movie night with my beautiful girlfriend i think i'm gonna turn off reblogs on that post#the horrible temptation to reply really rudely then block#personal nonsense#eta: also to be clear the sign language issue is that even if i hadn't studied asl (i have)#it wouldn't actually be a silver bullet for communicating with people who rely on lip reading#so like......that just comes off very ignorant to act like i'm too stupid to think of that#or like it's a simple solution that people with hearing disabilities are just forgetting about
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
There is a horror in that moment
The kind that makes most folks look away
That moment
When you realize
The Pain
Will not be stopping.
I'm writing a book in which
The main character goes through the same thing
And I'm stuck because
How do you write a scene like that?
Where do you put it in the story?
When does it finally dawn on him?
Not only the knowledge that
dancing
running
skipping
jumping
walking
fucking
working
adventuring
Living
will never be the same.
But when will it dawn on him that his last day of painlessness was months ago, and he didn't even know it at the time? (didn't even get to say goodbye)
Maybe that's why they say dawn breaks.
Maybe I'm stuck because I've never seen it anywhere else.
(maybe that's why I felt all alone in my mourning)
(maybe that's why I'm writing a book)
I've never seen a story where there were days of pain and days of ease, and then the days without pain got fewer and fewer until one day, it was just
Pain.
And of course my character, he waits
And waits
And waits
And works
And searches
And pleads
And yet the rest of his life
Suddenly stretches before him
Horrifically long, unthinkably long, with the knowledge that, from now on,
Every Day Will Be A Pain Day.
Every second
Of every minute
Of every hour day week month year
For forever
For forever
For forever
For forever
For forever
For forever
For forever
How many scenes do I write
of him mourning?
And - before he finds the acceptance that even allows for mourning -
How many scenes of that horrific slow-sudden frantic-panicked suspicion of the truth?
How does one draw (it's a graphic novel) the face of a man (his name is David)
struck with that kind of strangling grief?that choking half-denial?
That silent scream of horror given sound?
How many people tell him they are sure it will be fine even as he feels himself falling further?
How many of them fail to understand until they are gone from his life?
How many times does he blame himself?
How many times is he right?
Don't get me wrong
It's a hopeful story
Really.
It has a happy ending
And that happy ending happens
On a pain day.
I just hope I can tell my story good enough to show
What that means and
Why it matters.
I just hope we can be seen.
#original#The Blacksmith#my ocs#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#chronic illness#disability#fibromyalgia#poetry#poem#i basically only ever wanna hang w disabled folks bc i found a lotta abled folks DO NOT GET IT and as a result become dismissive & demandin#it was a very jarring realization to be like Oh My Older Sister Thinks I'm Being Dramatic like damn y'all#i don't think i could tell a story that could possibly reach her tho. same w a lot of ableists. so i won't try. it'd be miserable to do so.#i will tell a story that makes people like me feel seen. as well as all kinds of disabled folk. there's a LOT of disabled characters#w a wide variety of disabilities. but the protagonist has severe fibro brought on by repeated severe trauma like i do. and he has to cope#and yet he remains the hero of the story rather than a sad background character who used to do things worthy of the plot#bc i had never seen a story where that happened and i needed it#hastily written poetry
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
I aspire to be a Himbo but my physics degree and weasel physique have cursed me to a very different categorization
#no matter how many weights I lift I will never be shaped like kronk#my entire family’s genetics is summed up as ‘shaped like David tennant’#even during my ‘pudgy’ phase of puberty I was still getting called skinny by strangers#I still lift don’t worry#I want to be stronk#but i cannot build muscle mass like that#no one in my family ever has#and on the other side#literally I have wished to be stupid ever since I realized I was smarter than other kids my age#3 or 4?#literally not for one second was that something I was proud of#I never EVER thought I was better than my peers because I was ‘smarter’#I lamented the fact that they could be happy and I couldn’t#and I wanted to just stop understanding things#I wanted to not know#they hated me for not being on their level#and I hated me for the same reason#I cannot express how much this is NOT false modestly like ‘oh I was so smart’ like it was a disability#I stg no one should have this high of an IQ it’s literally BAD#because I mentally understood things I was 8 billion percent not ready to understand emotionally#kids should progress incrementally and grow up and learn things when they are emotionally grown enough to process them#no one should be three and watching the news and comprehending the logistics of war and politics#but having a three year olds level of emotional regulation#there is a certain level of ‘smart’ where suddenly it’s very very very bad for you and you’re going to have a horrible life because of it#there should be a medication to treat high IQ’s and I’m being so fr
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
i remember that one time I made a post saying maybe we should start treating ink like a person and stop defining his entire character by his disability (something people commonly do with disabled characters) and someone told me I was praising his disability and that I was telling people it was something good to have.
#piss on the poor website and all of dat.#I saw how people treat curly mouthwashing and it made me remember how people treat ink.#if ur a disabled character u either get demonized or infantilized.#in ink's case he got fucking both and just thinking about it makes me want to tear my hair out.#either way characters like this gets robbed of any personhood and autonomy and personality and basically everything.#'oh u see ink as a good guy? don't u know he's soulless?'#<- actual sentence said by multiple people in this fuckass fandom.#'oh u think ink is multilayered and has flaws and that's why he's like this? u think ink is a person?#nah nah nah pal. he's like this because he's soulless. ain't no other explanation.'#<- that's u. that's how u sound like.#ink sans#✏️
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
i will call myself autistic and people will think i'm just using it as a silly, chronically online, tiktok-diagnosed-me term, and then they'll spend a little bit more time with me and they're like oh
#if you know me on a super surface level i can pass as kinda normal#but the more time you spend with me the more obvious it is tbh lmao#like when i say that i am autistic i fully mean it#stimming hyperfixations meltdowns and all#the whole shebang#but it also kinda sucks that the term “autistic” has been kinda watered down so much#people don't really see me being autistic as the same as me being disabled#cause like yeah i'm autistic and i really like my silly little tv shows and spending lots of time on tumblr#but i'm also autistic and need lots of alone time in order to properly interact with other people#i'm autistic and i don't like any form of physical contact no matter how well i know you#i'm autistic and loud sudden noises affect my ability to function#i'm autistic and if i push myself too hard i WILL burnout and that will be unable to perform basic tasks#i'm autistic and eye contact is almost impossible for me#i'm autistic and i will regularly miss social cues and accidentally come across as rude#and it sucks that i'll say i'm autistic and people won't take me seriously#and then they'll act surprised when i an autistic person act autistic#but at the same time i can't lie it is kinda funny when i tell people i'm autistic and they're like#“but you seem normal”#cause oh boy#you have no idea#my posts#ah i love rambling in the tags#autism#actually autistic#autistic things
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
God I have yet to start the next felt world update bc I have quite honestly not been doing well enough to draw. I have to be in a good head space to create, and things have been rough unfortunately.
#for obvious reasons but I'm just sorta not super happy with my life bc my body is deciding to crumble every chance it gets#it has sort of made me aware that I could become physically disabled sooner than I thought#like first it was my liver now my lungs#and there's nothing I can do about it besides hope they dont progress...#but oh well. i shall persevere.#with that being said whoever invented boston cream donuts i owe you my life#AND thank you to toby fox for making deltarune it's my favorite game ever like ever ever#RELEASE THE NEW CHAPTER PLEASE
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
tell me why i can hear another tenants fucking music from my flat. HE DOESNT EVEN LIVE IN MY BUILDING. HE LIVES IN A COMPLETELY SEPARATE BUILDING ON THE SECOND FLOOR AND I CAN HEAR HIS MUSIC FROM MY FLAT. MY FLAT WHICH IS IN A DIFFERENT SEPARATE BUILDING.
#and staff just say ‘oh we can’t do anything bc its not 11pm yet.’#ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.#i am autistic person who has just spent a full 12hrs in extremely overstimulating public spaces#i am exhausted and i have had to wake up at ass o’clock in the fucking morning#every day for the past like week and a half and will be expected to do so for the forseeable future#i am extremely sensitive to noise and have no ability to zone things out#like everything is always at the same volume for me#all the fucking time no matter what#and they say like oh well in the community there wouldnt be anything to be done so we cant do anything here#BUT WE ARENT IN THE COMMUNITY. ARE WE. WE ARE AT A SUPPORTED LIVING ACCOMMODATION WHERE I HAVE BEEN PLACED#BY MY LOCAL AUTHORITY WHO ARE PAYING TWENTY THREE GRAND A YEAR#AND I AM PAYING FIVE HUNDRED A MONTH#IN ORDER TO RECIEVE SUPPORT FOR MY DISABILITIES. A BIG ONE BEING MY FUCKING AUTISM.#YOU KNOW. THE ONE WHICH IS BEING DIRECTLY IMPACTED BY THE BEHAVIOUR OF ANOTHER TENANT.#WHEN I AM BEING PUSHED TO MY LIMIT ALREADY. LIKE IDK FEELS KINDA CRAZY THAT THIS ISNT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SORTED.#i fucking hate men there is just literally no fucking respect or consideration like its genuinely disgusting and so fucking infuriating#and like he says that staff (women. btw) are being too naggy about it. but never fucking stops to consider that maybe.#maybe people wouldnt have to ‘nag’ you about it IF YOU JUST. DIDNT DO THE THING THAT IS ACTIVELY CAUSING OTHER PEOPLE STRESS.#IDK FUCKING WILD IDEA JUST THOUGHT OF IT.#literally die i want everyone involved to die like I CANNOT DO THISSSSSSSSSSSS
152 notes
·
View notes
Text
adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dafbfabb187039833bf2bda7df08d00e/2d87acba657a19b1-bd/s540x810/232d03c9740f9d7466b7123996bb3da592a7962f.jpg)
Books of 2025: ADRIFT IN CURRENTS CLEAN AND CLEAR by Seanan McGuire.
Ah, yes, my favorite January tradition: heartbreak in tiny series installment form :)
This one is about a turtle-obsessed disabled Russian girl who gets adopted by an American family and fitted for a prosthetic she doesn't ask for, want, or need, and then she splashes through her Door.
I love Russian language and culture things (shout out to accidentally double minoring in college), so I was excited for a Russian protag and a Russian-coded Door world! Excellent enrichment in my enclosure. Neat cultural expansion on the Wayward Children universe (multiverse? cosmos?? insert appropriately scaled setting word here).
I also liked the aquatic nature of Belyyreka--terrifying giant frogs and delightful giant turtles and delightful talking foxes on the riverbanks were all lovely, and the worldbuilding about different weights of water was neat! Very mind-bendy kind of setting, I dig it.
This installment felt very slim (146 pages in my copy), and Our World Heavy--the first 46 pages were in Colorado, and the last 100 were in Belyyreka, but it felt like we did More Frequent and Larger Time Skips in Belyyreka compared to Earth? Kind of speedrun mode, sans Quests, really (this one was a lot more oriented toward Finding/Building Your Family, which was signposted pretty clearly upon our arrival in Belyyreka). Mostly a quieter installment up until the, y'know, Typical Impending Tragedy of Return at the end. (Did I almost put it down at 1AM last night with 30 pages left so everyone could Be Happy? perHAPS,)
Overall: I had a good time! But, ow, my heart (once again and forever).
#books#books of 2025#adrift in currents clean and clear#seanan mcguire#book photos#wayward children#i cannot begin to describe how much editing i had to do to get these colors to look right#given the shitty lighting conditions in which i took the picture lol#anyway i have uh. mixed feelings. about how the russian was handled#(i always have mixed feelings about how russian is handled)#but like. do you transliterate it AND italicize it? do you just drop the cyrillic letters in there? Who Is The Book For lol#i also unfortunately am unsure how i feel about the twin prosthetic instances in this book?#but it's not really my lane so i won't go into it#if anyone who shares her disability has talked about this please let me know because i'm curious though#....okay i do also have a quibble about this kid's name#licherally within the first two words of the book i was like. Uh Oh.#because she's 'Nadya Sokolov'. in a russian orphanage.#seanan. ma'am. where did u put her final 'a'. it's a hugely gendered language she should be Sokolova#(bardugo did this too and it drove me nuts lol)#IF YOU'RE GONNA BE SLAVIC WITH YOUR WORLDBUILDING GO ALL THE WAY#so admittedly i was on High Russian Alert because of this#and i don't love italicizing the ~foreign~ words#especially not if they're transliterated.....#it was particularly the 'be sure' that got me actually. because 1. if the kid is russian and you're basically translating all her other--#--thoughts into english. why is 'be sure' spelled out in transliterated russian. why not either show us the shape of the letters or save--#--the 'oh it's in russian' revelation for AFTER#i just. have a lot of thoughts. about how things are handled in translation/transliteration lol.#(i spent a very long time pondering this for my own writing projects. i would just write it in cyrillic and figure it out when typing)#ANYWAY MANY THOUGHTS MOST OF THEM NICHE. i think i had fun overall though. not my fave installment but i'm still here for the ride
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
man nobody told me subnautica was about the slow onset of chronic/terminal illness and desperately carving out a meaningful life before its all lost. what the fuck.
#NO SPOILERS im only 8hrs into the game but the mystery infection has spread to my guy's stomach i think#also i am. disabled irl and so the game might just b hitting different#but i was Struck with a 'oh my god i cant die i havent even made seamoth yet i havent even gone under 150m'#and like man. 'i cant die yet i have so much more to see' is just. ok. ok.#subnautica#mossy speaks#ask to tag#this game made me too upset im drawing ocs now lmao
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
need more future in-law interactions between saikis parents and kuboyasus parents.. imagine them meeting for the first time at like a school event and yasus mom goes up to kurumi and kuniharu and is like "your kid the one mine wont stop flirting with?"
i think mama yasu would see how kusuo interacts with kurumi and immediately be like "yeah, this is the one for my son."
we know that aren canonically puts A LOT of respect on his parents.. so i think it's safe to assume that thats the standard in their home.. i want to say its contradictory that despite being raised a murderous delinquent, he was also raised so traditionally, with all the "respect women, respect your elders, respect your parents," etc. but i dont think its contradictory at all, i think its pretty commonplace actually? but yeah, anyway.. kurumi is super ditzy and is always just barely almost getting herself hurt but kusuo is always putting his hand on table corners before she bonks her head, pulling her to his side right before she bumps into things, catching things she drops before they break, etc..
this is a topic i should also touch on without the context of a ship actually.. i just think it would be cute for the others to see how sweet kurumi and kusuo are, and also how SIMILAR they are..
#thanks a lot to fucking oatmealcrisp cuz now whenever i think of yasus mom i call her 'miri' in my head and picture her with a cane#imagine kurumi being like 'oh ku baby uses one(+a wherlchair) sometimes too!!#but mama yasu has a cool backstory behind hers and kusuo was just born disabled#haha hes so me#anyway i actually have a wip like this i wrote months ago i forgot about#maybe i'll bring it back and add these ideas to it#theyre just both mamas boys#love them#idk#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#kuboyasu aren#kubosai#meows post
125 notes
·
View notes