#but oh well. i shall persevere.

[elviraaxen]

God I have yet to start the next felt world update bc I have quite honestly not been doing well enough to draw. I have to be in a good head space to create, and things have been rough unfortunately.

[vizishereig]

Chreon Week: Confessions (Day 2)

The TV is quiet, but still loud enough to hear, playing some sort of comedy show that takes place in a police station. Leon watches it with a mix of amusement and longing. Could that have been him if things had gone differently? Hanging out with coworkers, joking with fellow officers, the friendly competition?

He idly wonders if Chris and himself would have seen each other. It’s not improbable, with the other working in the S. T. A. R. S. office. They would’ve crossed paths every once in a while, for sure. Would they have caught each other’s eyes then? Would they have danced around each other for this long, trying to figure out if the other had liked them?

Leon’s brought out of his thoughts by heavy footsteps nearing the couch. He tenses a little, training more than actual fear, turning to see Chris coming towards the couch. The taller male rubs at his eyes blearily, probably having just woken up to find Leon missing from the bed. He rounds the couch, sitting next to Leon, and tilting over to lean heavily on the blonde.

Leon huffs, amused, but shifts, leaning back so he’s laying with Chris atop him, the other’s head on his stomach. The weight is more grounding than constricting, and Leon relaxes easily, the two of them facing the TV. His hands come up to scratch at Chris’s head absentmindedly as they watch the show, causing the male to go almost boneless on top of him. Leon smiles tiredly at that, his heart doing something funny in his chest.

The two of them are quiet for a while, both of them exhausted. It’s Leon who finally breaks the silence, the quiet itching at him, reminding him a bit too much of the silence of the RPD. He doesn’t have much to talk about, so his tired brain picks the first thing he can think of.

“You know,” Leon begins, tongue loose with exhaustion, tone more than little slurred with sleep, “I had a bit of a crush on you, even before I met you. An idealized one, but one nonetheless.”

Leon doesn’t look down, but he can imagine the confusion that probably appears on Chris’s face. It would be quickly washed away by a smile, one that’s either smug or fond. He can feel Chris twisting around to try and look at him, so he looks down.

Brown eyes are looking up at him, and yep. A fond smile decorates the other’s face, curiosity tinting his gaze. Leon looks back at the TV, a bit too tired to be embarrassed about his confession. Hands gently rub circles into his back where they’re circled around him.

  “Yeah?” Chris replies, voice also tired, but more than a little curious. “How come?”

  Leon tips his head back a bit, thinking. Claire had certainly factored into it with how often she’d talk about Chris. When she’s not around her brother, she’s all sweet words and compliments about him. The picture she’d shown him had completed whatever fondness he’d have for the male, as he was rather… well, cute in his younger years.

“It’s Claire’s fault,” Leon finally says, allowing his gaze to stay on the ceiling, tracing patterns with his eyes. There’s a soft laugh, and Chris’s chin settles on his stomach. Leon looks down, and those eyes are still looking at him, still so fond. But they’re also drifting shut. Leon hums softly, turning the TV off and shifting a little. Chris’s eyes open again.

“Time for bed?” he asks, smile still decorating his face. Leon nods, agreeing. Time for bed.

[moonsinkfoxgirl]

normal ending (aka bad ending lite) achieved, yay^^

this game is so strange in this regard, so like, apparently, you get a normal ending no matter how many continues you use, as long as it's not 5 am (in-game time) by the end (each continue costs you half an hour, but you can also proceed through the game by half an hour quicker if you like gather enough time orbs which drop from enemies under certain circumstances)

but also there's 2 final stages, and 6A is the one you get if you use continues (or if you haven't gotten a normal ending yet), while 6B you get to if you don't continue and you already beat 6A once...

which leads to two unfortunate circumstances:

I won't really get to fight Eirin (the stage 6A boss) again (or at least not properly she might still be a midboss I guess), which is a shame

I won't be able to practice 6B in practice mode which is going to suck

[lowestechelonabomination]

joyous weeping or miserable weeping?

miserable, lol. I failed so badly I fear not even the curve will save me (for some reason the curves are applied at the end of the semester to everything at once)

[sscieloz]

Collide

Huh Yunjin x 6th member!reader

Synopsis: you can’t take your eyes off her, specially when she’s dancing. thankfully, yunjin makes sure to put up a show for you.

Warnings: suggestivee. safe for work ma babes ^^

Word count: 1.6k

Notes: I SHALL PERSEVERE. fuckass writers block 😤. i will noooooot proofread this ^^

“Oh my God. Are you ok?” Yunjin asks, turning her attention away from her choreography as soon as she catches you desperately choking on water.

You throw your phone on the other side of the couch— as well as the bottle you were holding, in hopes of controlling the coughing fit that has you shaking rather violently. Still trying to gasp for air, you manage to nod, thumbs up to let Yunjin know you’ll most likely live.

“Just fine.” Your voice comes in between breaths, still accompanied by weakened coughs. “I drank too much at once.”

She giggles, walking towards the couch so you can sit side by side. You make sure to grab your phone back so your bandmate doesn’t reckon the cause of your coughing fit: scrolling through TikTok, you found a fan cam of the red-haired girl performing at their showcase just days ago.

Her bare waist, tight cropped and low-waisted jeans were enough for you to breathe in deeply, looking anywhere in the empty room but at her; carefully to not be reminded of the sin that was your bandmate’s body. Not only that, but the way she moved, too— sharp and flawless, skilled as she played with her hair and bit her lip while looking at the damn camera. Yunjin is well aware of how hot she is, and she sure as hell makes good use of that when performing.

It’s torture.

“Are you sure?” She frowns, and it’d be adorable if your mind wasn’t clouded by how she’d react if you just pushed her down the small sofa and ruined her relentlessly until someone had to barge in, worried about the screams coming from the room— only to find her whimpering under your touch, begging for more. “Your face is all flushed, and your skin feels hot. Y/n, are you sick?”

You shake your head, doing your best to duck from your bandmate’s attentive touches. It’s comforting to have her hand cupping your cheek, but her touches are electrifying. A single brush of her fingers is and your heart skips a beat, along with a familiar ache that starts growing in your core.

“It’s nothing, unnie. Don’t worry.” Her smile is so pretty. She loves to be loved by you. “You might want to take a small break, though. Come on, you’ve been here for hours already! Don’t push yourself too hard.” You offer, even though it’s obvious she’s going to decline. Yunjin’s too much of a perfectionist, so much so that it’s incredibly common to find her in that same practice room during late hours of the night, rehearsing the group’s choreography so she’ll be nothing but perfect once they go on stage.

The hate train Lesserafim’s been receiving has been getting to her, you know it as much. It’s easy to see in her chapped-off nails, disheveled hair, and how she never stays still, due to the amount of coffee she consumes on a single day. She’s too hard on herself, and you wish she’d open up more. How much better would it be if she just didn’t bottle it up so much, and relied on you instead? You’re bandmates, after all.

Touchy as she’s always been, Yunjin grabs your hand and leads you to the middle of the dance room, in front of the mirror. You’re left standing awkwardly, with a confused face until she rushes back with a chair. “Actually, I needed your help with something.” She gestures for you to sit, which you do. “It’s my turn to record something for TikTok, and manager-im asked it to be a dancing piece. Can you tell me if it’s good?”

You gulp when she launches her jacket lazily onto the ground, setting up her song of choice on her phone. The beat starts slow as the singer’s sweet voice echoes through the room, and Yunjin walks towards you in unhurried, precise steps. There’s not enough air, with all your mind clogged by her, and you can feel the slick dripping from your cunt. Once she finally reaches you… it’s insane. Her fingers brush your collarbone, the shadow of a proper touch has you shivering as she places both of her hands on your elbows and pushes herself down, her hips swirling just as the melody drags on— you can’t do anything but hold her by the hips, adding pressure to her rocking back and forth in your lap.

Her covered cunt brushes against yours and it’s the best feeling you’ve ever experienced; it feels heavenly, to have the friction just right where you need it. Yunjin’s arms go up in an arched movement, leaving her pretty neck all exposed. It’d be so easy to just push her in and suck on her porcelain skin until no makeup could hide such hickeys. Along with the song, she breathes in, which rides her crop top enough that you can see her lack of a bra.

It’s borderline painful: the way her actions lit your body on fire, the desperate need for more, the way she does a hair flip, still so attentive to the music you don’t even hear anymore. The only bang in your head comes from the pleasure building up down in your lower abdomen, waiting. Anticipating.

Yunjin grabs you by the neck just as the chorus hits, brushing her mouth against yours. She makes her way down to your neck, teasing her teeth against your clavicle whilst her other hand toys with the hem of your sweatpants, tapping in the right rhythm. “Do you want it?”

“More than anything.” Your response comes immediately. You’re soaked, and there’s nothing more in the world you want more than for her to touch you. “Please, Jen… Want your fingers inside.”

Yunjin is always eager to please, and you’re so glad for that. Her hand makes her way past your panties, and she smirks once she’s met with the mess you’ve made. “Does my dancing turn you on that much?” Her sultry tone does nothing but entice your moans, “Oh, Y/n… that’s pathetic.”

In any other situation, you’d give her mockery an answer just as filthy. But as her fingers brush your slit, gathering slick as Yunjin uses your juices to press her thumb on your clit, you can only muster a loud whine. Tangling your arms under her neck, you lift your hips a bit further, in hopes of having more.

More. It’s all you want. You need more.

“Jen, f-fuck. Please, I need—“ Two of her fingers enter your cunt unannounced, making you grasp. Yunjin’s movements are just as precise as her choreography, thrusting in and helping with the ache in your pussy right where you need it.

You’re not proud of how lewd you sound, all at your bandmate’s mercy as she fastens her pace on your dripping sex. She’s still in your lap, and the combined pressure feels just perfect.

Yunjin’s mouth leaves a trail of kisses in the valley of your boobs, her wet, cherry lips enticing the fire in your body. “I know what you need, baby. Just let go for me, you can do it.”

One command of hers and the tingling sensation that has been building up in your body explodes, allowing you to feel the wave of pleasure you’ve been so eagerly anticipating from the moment you entered the room. You cum with a high cry, with Yunjin’s fingers going even faster as you ride out from your orgasm. It’s not enough, though — you still need more. You think she’s going to give it to you, but your friend’s fingers retreat completely.

Yunjin’s left you a breathless mess, hot and bothered and just so desperate to have her in any way as you stare at her, hopeless and confused.

“Why’d you stop?” You whine, puting.

Yunjin laughs at the sight of your puppy eyes, so big and watery from frustration.

“Because that was it.” Her answer is resolute as if she didn’t make you cum seconds prior. With a fake frown, she adds, “Should I post it? Is it good enough?”

Taking a deep breath, you bite your lip as your hands find their way to her waist, bringing her to your lap once again. Even the smallest amount of friction _hurts_, from how horny you are, and you wince.

Noticing your struggles, Yunjin giggles as she leaves small, wet kisses on your jaw. You decide to play coy, too, “Not at all. In fact, I think you need a lot more practice. Go again, from the beginning… please?”

Yunjin laughs so hard she drops her head back, pinching your nose. “Sure, baby. I think so too.”

You kiss her again, exploring your way into her pretty mouth as your hands lift her shirt, groping her tits. Yunjin makes an effort to be perfect, and you’re so glad for her hard work.

“Oh, and Y/n?” She calls you, her tone all innocent. Yunjin’s lips are addicting, and she’s such a good kisser… it’s nearly impossible to focus on anything else. You hum in acknowledgment, and that seems to be enough for her, “You should lower your phone’s brightness before watching my thirsty edits, next time.”

You’d for sure choke again, if it weren’t for her devious laugh, silencing your shock with her sultry movements on your lap.

[mightbewriting]

alright team. i'm back at a truly blank page for the first time in a almost two years. what's that sound? oh, it's the looming existential dread that i've completely forgotten how to write. which, to be fair, i really may have. but we shall persevere etc., etc.

editing to add: also, a girl needs to refill her creative well so gimme all the best books you've read lately (or in the last two years; it's been rough y'all)

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

CHANGED MY MIND I don't care what's going on because Crowley is worried about Aziraphale 🥺😌��

what is like. going on.

[mamawasatesttube]

Reread Midnight Sun and I love that you write TimKon as competent characters.

My favorite fics are hurt/comfort but that genre of fic tends to “woobify” them into wet noodles, specifically Tim. You write him going through it without taking away that he is competent and doesn’t cry at every little thing.

Also your love for Kon is clear in the way you write him like the badass he is and thank you for carrying the Kon tag on your back. I hope you feel better soon! Sending well wishes <3

wahoo thank you for rereading!!! always the highest compliment ♥

and YEAH. i love hurt/comfort but i don't care for woobification or declawing or whatever - i want to read about competent characters genuinely trying their hardest and doing their best in insurmountably challenging situations, not about a wet pathetic paper bag who constantly makes bad decisions and isn't capable of doing anything on their own. (like, the occasional bad decisions and needing help are good! when it's all the character does i just kinda start hating the character.) so i hear you Loud And Clear!!!

tim especially is like. he's soooo... not any of the wet wooby Whatever The Fuck is going on in the tim drake tag. he's repressed as hell and really good at putting his feelings on the top shelf to deal with Later, whenever he's in a situation. frankly, writing midnight sun with the prompts "it's okay, they won't touch you again" and "i'm going to pick you up now, okay?" was actively a challenge, because i was like what the hell would actually make tim "repression" drake so panicked that kon would need to be that gentle with him???? and the answer of course was "being drugged and therefore unable to trust his body to do what his mind wants" because he's a control freak, but like... it takes special circumstances to freak him out, man.

and YESSS kon being badass and competent is very important to me. i am forever jumping up and down and yelling about sb94 #84 and #87-90 and just. aough. he's silly and goofy but also ttk goes hard as hell!!! and he gets knocked around when fighting superpowered opponents but against regular dudes with guns??? oh they are sooooooooo outclassed. (this is also inspired by the superman issue mentioned in the authors notes, where superman shows up in gotham and just fucking obliterates some guys. ruins their whole MONTH if not YEAR. really funny tho)

and wauhh thank you!!! i have yet another doctors appointment tomorrow so 💪 we shall persevere!!!

[defire]

Ghost of Seattle Chapter 26

Prev

Content: injuries, language

"No deal." Connor said. She sat across from Timothy at a table which was chilled by a building-wide breeze.

Timothy rolled his eyes, leaning on the table on his hands.

"You're not leaving till you sign this, you shithead."

"That's 'little shit' to you," Connor said. "And you're going to give me the medical supplies I deserve, too. You break it, you buy it."

"Are you kidding me?"

"If you deny me this, I shall persevere in your camp to the end of days." She pressed her lips together firmly.

"Are you fucking kidding me." Timothy said.

Connor stared at him, pressing in her lips enough to make those dimples pop in. They were very convincing and she had no idea why.

She'd also refused to wipe the blood that was now barely damp on her skin. When she frowned, the graze wound on her temple would open back up and drip down the side of her face. This day was brutal.

She pointed at a fresh drip, then got it on her finger and threatened to flick it at Timothy. He stepped back quickly.

"Compensate." She said. "You have spilled my blood this day. Show some remorse!"

"Fuck--fine!" Timothy snapped. "Fine."

Connor suppressed the stooping limp as much as she could till she rounded a corner just out of Shiver territory.

Then she moaned and leaned against the wall.

"I'm going to die young." She said. "Ugh. I'm gonna die any minute now..."

She looked around to see if there happened to be an unscathed wheelchair in the road for her to get home on. There wasn't.

"Oh look at Connor!" She said in a mocking tone, like she was quoting. She got up with another groan.

"Oh look at her! She's used to it. So tough."

She stooped, walking down the road.

"You don't get tough, you just die faster." She snapped at the imaginary people. 

"Well, she looks fine to me!" Connor stopped at a deep dip in the road, then squinted to see a way around it. She couldn't go straight through, not today. 

"I look fine because I'm pretending because you assholes won't listen to me!" 

She snapped, out of breath. She should be screaming in pain right now. It felt unbearable, but she was still moving, somehow.

"And now I'm going to have a dented ribcage." She turned the hand at her side into a middle finger at the Shivers. "Thank you."

She covered her mouth to stop a sob. That would hurt. No crying. Just get back.

Tag list: @joyjoygorl @cepheusgalaxy

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

Kindle book: Masterpost: Next:

[learnfromali]

Muhammad Ali's Legendary Boxing Career

Oh, you know what time it is! We're talking about the greatest of all time, Muhammad Ali! This man was a boxing machine, and he knew it. He had the speed, the power, and the quick wit to take down anyone who dared step into the ring with him.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Yalla Papi, why are we talking about boxing? This is supposed to be a blog about learning from Muhammad Ali!" Well, my dear reader, let me tell you something. Muhammad Ali's boxing career was about more than just throwing punches. It was about determination, perseverance, and fighting for what you believe in.

When Ali refused to be drafted into the Vietnam War, he knew it could cost him his boxing career. But he stuck to his principles and stood up for what he believed in, even if it meant sacrificing everything he had worked for. That takes some serious guts, my friends.

And even when he was stripped of his boxing titles, Ali didn't let it break him. He continued to train, to fight, and to inspire millions of people around the world with his dedication to his sport and his beliefs.

So, let's take a page out of Ali's book, shall we? Let's be determined, let's persevere, and let's fight for what we believe in, no matter the cost. That's what it means to be a true champion, inside and outside of the ring.

[ask-a-bot]

Alright, alright, let’s change this around shall we? Instead of berating each other with what we don’t like about each other, how about we encourage and uplift one another? I’ll go first:

Optimus: your dedication to the protection of life and freedom is legendary. You seek the good of those around you and do your best to be the peace maker in any given situation.

Megatron: your wish for justice and fairness for all is just as admirable as your desire to repent from your past. Your repentance of your wrongs and your perseverance in making things right should be celebrated and commended.

Bumblebee: Your joyous personality has the ability to make everyone’s day better and brighter. Your friendship with others is priceless.

Starscream: Your desire to learn is so amazing to see! You have a wide range of talents, and seeing you grow your talents in meaningful ways is beautiful!

Hot Rod: You are very sensitive to how other people feel, which makes you an amazing friend to be around! You are wise beyond your years, and I believe others can learn a lot from you and your sensibilities.

Kup: Hot Rod’s behavior and growth is a testament to the hard work and sacrifice you put into raising him. Your loyalty has no bounds, even going as far as staying loyal to Prime’s command even when others demanded/tempted you to stop. You’ve worked long and hard.

Now, it’s your turn, guys. Say something uplifting about one another.

🤨 I think you said it all for me.

I'll have a try. I like that Megatron was one of the first to welcome us. I like that Optimus has been really trying to make up lost time. I love Kup for always looking after me, even when I made it hard. I like that Star's been teaching me stuff about Earth and spending time with me. I like that Bumblebee's a teacher now.

OK... I've done this before, but I'll try it again.

Megatron, I admire your courage. It takes guts to rebel and lead a crazed faction like the Decepticons, but it takes all the more to admit you lost your way and try to set things right.

Kup, taking Hot Rod on has to be one of the most selfless acts of sacrifice to have taken place during the war. You say it was a pleasure and I don't doubt it, but I know you wanted to keep on fighting. Thank you for doing as I asked.

Starscream, your creativity and inquiring mind make you quite unique. You're always trying something new, learning and adapting.

Bumblebee, your ability to befriend humans has always made interspecies relations look easy. Your friendliness, polite attitude and optimism are your best points. Dot and Alex have grown to consider you a son or nephew. I can see why.

Hot Rod, I am impressed by the young mech you have grown into. Kind, confident, fun to have around. Truly, you're a credit to Kup.

Wow! Thanks, Optimus.

Optimus, I appreciate all that I have learnt and continue to learn from you. You are faithful and... and... a better leader than I could ever hope to be.

Starscream-

Uh-oh...

Where are you going? Sit down. Your love for music, games, art and... and... well... all that interests you... Optimus phrased it better than I. Hrrgh...! I admire your tenacity. Your desire to learn and adapt. Your... drive. You will make a great leader one day, but you still have a lot to learn. At the moment.

Kup, Hot Rod. I have only known you both a short while, but you have already taught me much.

Bumblebee, like Starscream, I see in you the capacity to lead well if you work hard and learn.

As a race, we all have much to learn.

I don't know what to say. I thought my speed and scouting skills were my only good points.

You've got a lot of good points, young'un. It's just that you've still got a lot to learn.

Hot Rod, I like that you're a bigger dumbaft than I am-

Bumblebee!

OK, I think we'll call time on this little exercise for now.

Good idea. For now, I think we have had enough.

[rolandrockover]

Reprise Vol. 1 - Master & Slave

I think it's no big secret that Paul doesn't have much good to say about Kiss' Carnival of Souls. To put it mildly. Or he simply does everything imaginable to at least create such impressions whenever this album title should rarely enough become the subject of an interview question. Of course, he's welcome to do as he pleases, but personally, from my humble perspective, I think it's a bit of a shame, because I can also remember times when he spoke a tiny bit differently about it.

For example, I can still remember the time when the subject of a reunion was still treated as fictitious, and it wasn't on anyone's horizon, least of all Paul's and Gene's. That was back in 1994/95, when Kiss' laudable motto of perseverance and giving their best was for a change increasingly emphasized in their new music.

And I still remember very well that regular little Kiss feature in the German Rock Hard magazine, which was supervised by their Kiss Die-Hard (0), and from whom one got the vivid impression that he regularly got a certain insight into the world of our favorite band. I think it must have been February or March 1995 when Paul and Gene (1), but also Eric Singer (2), apparently got in touch with the interviewer directly from the rehearsal room in a telephone interview and Paul confidently said, not without his usual side-swipe at Gene, that his songs were much more melodious and heavier than Gene's. There was a certain pride in that. At some point later he even went so far as to claim that the new album was the best and heaviest since Creatures of the Night. Oh my!

What I mean, since that's a rather thoughtful and equally rare tribute to their own music, which was previously only outspoken to give a very special shine to the indeed excellent Revenge, and the return to form associated with it. And I must add to this Paul seemed quite proud of Revenge in 1992 regardless of how hard he had contributed to the previous albums in the 80's anyway. But who knows, once again, it was probably just the latest sensationalization of the upcoming album (3). Promotion is a double-edged sword, but to wipe Revenge away so succinctly because of it, I really don't know. But maybe and probably because it wouldn't have sounded so good to say their new album was the best since... their last one.

But to get my act together and to at least briefly talk directly about Master & Slave in this context.

So, as I already mentioned in my original entry, Master & Slave had the working title: Paul's Riff. In my perception, this suggests pride and respect, not necessarily from Paul himself, but clearly from his band environment. And the fact that such a meagre, yet all-saying no-name was chosen as accepted as a working title, if not even honored from everybody involved clearly speaks for itself.

And because this is a reprise, I'll simply feature an excerpt from my original text about what I see in this song:

"What begins in Not For the Innocent with a few approaching, ominous tones, continues in Unholy as a small extension in a slightly different pitch, and a much more compact back and forth oscillation of these tones, which thereby does not form the entire riff, but only a complementary part of it. In Master & Slave the whole thing gains in drasticness, and the motif is doubled to a lower pitch, added to the previous one to secure its terrain, only to turn into a Black Sabbath motif a la After All. An endlessly repeating highly dynamic acrobatic feat in loud and quiet/guitar and bass contrast."

When writing Master & Slave, Paul must have thought to himself: Ok Gene, a dark album full of Unholys shall it be? This time I'll listen to you, then you shall get Unholy. Which must have stimulated his ambition to try to outdo Gene in terms of Unholy by more than a small margin. I think the result shows in all strength what the right ambition can achieve.

"To conjure up this wet dream of riff Paul must have really tried hard and done his very best to achieve such a result - regardless of what he claims about Carnival of Souls as a whole today."

It is a real pity that he no longer stands by it. Gene and, above all, Bruce (4) seem to have fewer problems with this.

Side Notes:

(0) Jan Jaedike.

(1) Gene emphasized the psychedelic component and compared Carnival of Souls to the Rolling Stones' Satanic Majesties Request (1967) (5) , and that they couldn't explain either why it sounded different from the previous album.

(2) Eric said the album was super heavy and exactly the kind of music he wanted to play. I love to mention this because he had also clearly distanced himself from Carnival of Souls over the past few years. Klassik!

(3) Can anyone still remember how they loud-mouthedly advertised Crazy Nights as a mixture of Animalize and Destroyer back then? There's even a Youtube video of it, but don't ask me where. Anyway, that was still was something different.

(4) Or the last of the Mohicans, as I like to call him.

(5) Hmm, which Stones album did Ace's cover of 2000 Man actually come from?

Master & Slave starts from the beginning. Unholy and Not For The Innocent are highlighted. Turn up the volume and open your ears, I assume no liability:

Master & Slave (1997)

Unholy (1992)

Not For The Innocent (1983)

I'll add After All by Black Sabbath on top.

After All (1992)

[ellekhen]

Hand, Hearth, and Home

Chapter 42 - Lying in Wait

Chapter Summary: Halsin guides the adventurers into the Shadowlands via an ancient tunnel - only to find that they're not the only creatures hoping for an escape. When the adventurers finally make it into the Shadowlands, their troubles are far from over.

Pairing(s): Astarion x Male Tav (Main); Past OC x Male Tav Rating: Explicit Length: 199K+ words; Chapters 42/65

Excerpt below:

“Halsin,” Wyll calls, returning from further up the broken path. “We found something.”

He gingerly hands an old, moldering journal to the druid, who studies it closely. 

“Where did you find this?” he asks Wyll softly. 

They find themselves in the remains of a hasty little camp. Right at the center of it — curled close to the remains of a campfire — are the brittle remnants of a human skeleton and a splintered quarterstaff.

Church recognizes the Oak Father’s emblem — fallen into the dust between the skeleton’s ribs. 

“Did you know them?” he asks Halsin gently. 

The druid is quiet for a moment. 

“…she was from the grove,” he whispers, voice choked. “Terryna.” 

Halsin wipes at his face, breath shuddering. “I told her… I told her not to…”

He clears his throat before handing the disintegrating journal to the warlock before walking away. Church cracks it open, surprised to find that the ink is remarkably well-preserved. 

Made good progress through the mountains. Seeing the curse for the first time filled me with an awe and fear that was difficult to describe. No writing could have prepared me, nor any artist’s rendition. As grave as the Archdruid Halsin’s warnings were, they were still lacking compared to the reality. 

Church glances over to the druid, who crouches before the skeleton with his eyes closed and lips moving in prayer. 

I shall make camp soon, and press on in the morning… though in truth, such terms have little meaning in this place.

“We should get going,” Astarion says tersely. Nervously. 

A dreadful night. The campfire needed thrice the wood that would normally be needed in order to keep it burning. Terrible sounds came to my ears from beyond the firelight. Rest has not restored me. If anything, I feel weaker. But I must persevere. I must trust in Silvanus. I must venture deeper.

“Yes,” Halsin stands, pocketing something. “We must not linger here.”

Creatures, from the darkness. Foul things. One grazed me. Only my torch saved me.

The adventurers explore the other side of the fork, only to reach another dead end. 

Deep darkness. Flames are instantly doused. The wound stings. Flesh is turning black with corruption. The shadows are growing stronger. They are spreading. I need to return to light.

“…hells, haven’t we seen this tree before?” Wyll utters. 

“Fuck!” Karlach growls, smoldering as her straining heart visibly races beneath her skin. “I hate this place!”

The wood will not burn. I can barely see the page. I am surrounded.

It is her last entry.

Church closes the journal with a sigh before approaching Astarion. He can’t help but notice that the rogue’s gaze is distant even as it scans the foreboding woods.

“Oh!” the elf startles slightly just as the tiefling opens his mouth to speak. “Sorry, did you want something?” He forces his troubled expression into a smirk. “Or are you just looking for a distraction?”

“How are you doing?” Church asks him, glancing down at the elf’s clenched hand. 

How he wishes he could just reach out and hold it, staving off whatever trepidation Astarion is feeling now… 

“I… don’t quite like this,” Astarion admits, eyes troubled above his strained smile. “Make no mistake — it's far better than that godforsaken tomb of an aqueduct.” 

The elf’s face settles into a scowl. “But it feels like we’re being watched — hunted, even. But there’s nothing out there… only more darkness.”

He huffs a laugh. “I much prefer when I’m the one prowling in the shadows, about to strike.”

Come closer. 

Something tugs at Church’s senses, and he wheels around far too late.

“Karlach!” he shouts. “Stop—!”

The other tiefling freezes — her boot mid-nudge at a dead raven smoldering with necrotic energy.

“Oh,” she utters. “Shit.”

Yes. Yes—!

A storm of ravens swarm down upon the party in an instant — eager for blood.

Start from the beginning!

[kaigarax]

To My First Love

Oikawa Tooru x Reader

Quote: “Fall in love with someone when you’re with them.”

Oikawa falls in love like the ending of a song. His journey tells tales of perseverance, heartbreak and adventure. And at the end, despite all melancholy and anticipation, he finally allows himself to fall into what he has always known will come.

---

“And oh, what a beautiful contradiction falling in love was.”

Oikawa made a face, “that’s so cheesy, (Y/n).”

You laughed, putting the book down and looking towards Oikawa who was now sprawled across his bed, “and what do you think love is, Mr. Heartbreaker?”

Oikawa is certain you expect some snooty and half assed response. It’s almost exactly what he would have given you if he had been but a few years younger. Now, he ponders for a brief while before smiling while thinking back to his own experiences with the strange phenomenon known as love.

He thinks he shall impart some of his wisdom, be it a small amount, onto you.

“Well, love is pure and kind. It’s giving your everything to someone else without reservations and not expecting anything in return.” Oikawa turned to look at you before a flush coloured his face, “if that makes sense.”

Perhaps his explanation was a little too… in depth? He knows you haven’t had much experience with romantic relationships (none at all) so he isn’t sure if the concept will appear cohesive or alien to you.

“Yeah, it makes sense.” you reply. Oikawa lets out a small sigh of relief (because he won’t have to elaborate further) while you plop down beside him, “so tell me about her.”

“Her?”

“Well, from the way you spoke about it, I can definitely tell there’s someone you’ve been in love with. I just assumed it was a girl with all the girlfriends you’ve had.” you gave the setter a shrug, “but no judgement from me if it’s a guy.”

Oikawa gave you a light shove, “come on.”

“What? Iwaizumi is a pretty good looking guy and the two of you are pretty close~”

“(Y/n).”

“Alright, alright!” You laughed, “so tell me about your first love.”

---

The rallies of the game had been long and the anticipation of the audience only seemed to be rising. Oikawa’s nerves from the beginning of the game have long evaporated, replaced with watered down gatorade and exhaustion.

He’s sweaty, tired and sore. All he wants to do after this match is take a long shower.

This game is tiring.

This game is dragging out.

And this game is paradise.

This is where Oikawa Tooru wants to be for the rest of his life.

The world seems to move differently as he makes his way to the right spot (just exactly at two and a half) just as he has done so many times before.

All his blood, sweat and tears have narrowed down to this single moment. Everything here will determine if he is worthy of his position or if he will be cast down from paradise.

And as the ball touches his fingers Oikawa thinks to himself that there will never be anything in the world that can rival this feeling he feels while in the midst of a game. That there is no other thing in this world that can make him feel so flustered and brave at the same time. He thinks that if there is only one wish he could ever make then this is it.

He wants to experience this exact moment over and over again.

Even as his teammate stumbles to hit the perfect set Oikawa knows that this is it.

That he has reached the pinnacle of his life’s meaning and there will never be anything more.

Of course, like all young and naive children, Oikawa doesn't understand just how fast the euphoria and dopamine come crashing down. It hits harder than a spike to the face as the ball falls from the net to the ground.

He did everything he could, and still it wasn’t enough.

Many adults will find it difficult to comprehend the complexities of a child’s emotions. Especially when contrasted with the simplicity of a child’s mind. The height from which Oikawa had fallen was one he might never recover from. Truly it was such a shame that the match had gone this way.

Oikawa is in every way a loser.

A failure.

His mother and father will not have the words to console him and they likely won’t understand how he’s feeling. In their own minds (which have been programmed to be strictly rational) Oikawa has tried his best. It’s not his fault another boy hit a ball into the net. Yet he will still feel the crash.

The burning sensation of a loss.

Something that will either make or break him.

Oh how cruel life is.

But cruelty is beautiful. It’s beautiful in the strange sort of way that makes you cry. Perhaps it’ll make you a stronger person one day and when you look back you’ll be thankful. Right now though, Oikawa’s heart isn't sure if he’ll ever be thankful even if his mind says otherwise.

And then ques the entrance of you.

Your eyes are bright and shining. They’re filled with so much awe and excitement that Oikawa feels that feeling infect his own being.

Oikawa may be a smart child but he is still a child.

Everything seems to flash past him as you give him that smile reserved strictly for him.

“You’re amazing, Oikawa!” You exclaim.

It’s a strange feeling that overwhelms him. It feels as though everything has suddenly halted and standing here with him is just you and him. Him and you. You’ve always been the girl next door, someone Oikawa has seen everyday but only now does he suddenly realise how pretty you are. The way the light seems to reflect off your face makes the expression in your eyes so much gentler and your hair seems to be done just right.

You’re standing here across from him, praising him for something he’s done. You’re here admiring something he’s poured his heart, body and soul into and it’s the most romantic thing he’s ever seen in his (eight years of) life.

This is a moment that will linger with him forever.

“Thanks,” Oikawa isn’t sure what to say and so he stumbles out words he will regret for the rest of his life. “Keep your eyes on me.”

In retrospect, the words don’t haunt him for the rest of his life but he definitely thinks that there are better things he could have said. You teased him about it for a short while but Oikawa doubts you still remember those words now. You’ve met so many other people and experienced so much more of life.

“Well, my first love was-”

“(Y/n)-chan!” Oikawa’s mother (well, Mrs. Oikawa) burst into the room with a bright smile on her face, “I didn’t know you were in town!”

You’re quick to leave your spot beside Oikawa as you greet his mother.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to intrude. My mother and I came into town to visit her sister and my cousin. My cousin ended up catching the flu so I was wandering around when I ran into Tooru.” you explained.

Mrs. Oikawa smirked, “and he brought you up here to his room?”

“Yeah, he wanted to give me this book.”

Mrs. Oikawa nodded along but Oikawa could tell she didn’t buy her words, “so do you plan on staying for dinner?”

“Oh no.” you apologised, “I have to catch the train back to my cousin's house.”

“Oh, that’s a shame! You know what, before you go could you help me with something? I’m knitting something for Tooru’s older sister and you look to be around the same size as her. Would you mind trying it on for me?”

“Of course.” you said, following Mrs. Oikawa out of the room.

Oikawa isn’t sure if he’s happy you’re gone or not. There is relief of not having to tell you that you’re his first love. Of course, he’s long over you. After having four (or maybe five) girlfriends, Oikawa has gotten over you long ago. He had been perfectly fine with telling you that you were his first love but he wasn’t exactly sure how you would take it.

You’d always been the kind of person that liked admiring people from afar.

He wouldn’t want to ruin your friendship over something that’s happened in the past.

Besides, back when he was in love with you he hadn’t been aware that other girls existed. It had been just volleyball, the other boys that played volleyball and you.

---

Growing up, there had only been two things Oikawa had wanted.

One, he wanted to make it to nationals. At least once in his middle school (which would eventually turn into highschool) years, he wanted to show that he was the best. At first it had been because of his love for the sport. The feeling of being on court was almost unmatched by any other. Then it had eventually transitioned into wanting to beat other people and prove he was the best.

He wanted to feel the euphoria of being on court. The addraline of victory. The determination as he made his way through the ranks.

Each and every step was something he looked forward to. Each and every motion was something that would push him forward and keep him in the paradise that he so loved. Nationals was the pinnacle. It showed to everyone, not just other volleyball players, that you were good (brilliant even) at what you did.

He wanted to be good enough to stand with the best of the best.

And then, secondly, he wanted you.

Not in that possessive and obsessive way but in the way that a boy likes a girl. Something sweet and innocent. In the sort of way where he could hold your hand and know that you also wanted to hold his as well.

You had always been by his side, following him around, but he could never actually call you his. Not that he wanted you to have as a possession of his own! He just… wanted to be with you forever. The way his parents were with each other and the way his sister was with her special friend.

Girls flocked to him constantly. Not just was he good looking but he was kind and charismatic. The perfect combination for a chick magnet. But the only girl’s attention he wanted was yours.

It was horrible.

The worst feeling was the jealousy that came when you spoke to other people with that smile. That smile that made people feel like the center of the world and made their hearts flutter the same way he did. And you were always such a fickle person, giving attention to anyone that caught your interest. Why did you have to be so nice?

He always made sure to walk you to and from school and he liked the rumors it started. Even if you denied the rumors every time. It kept unwanted attention from you.

Oikawa knew he could never stop you from being friends with anyone but that never meant he couldn’t deter you from certain people. Especially people that could swoop in and steal you away.

He wanted to be your first and last boyfriend.

And then came the horrible news.

You and your family were moving away. Into the big city of Tokyo. Your parents had acquired bigger and better jobs which meant you and him would no longer be just a house over. You would still be just a phone call but it would be different when he wouldn’t be able to see your face right after.

Eventually, those feelings that swarmed Oikawa’s chest whenever he thought of you faded away.

His heart stopped racing whenever you crossed his mind.

HIs breathing no longer hitched when he heard someone mention your name.

And it was strangely relieving.

Perhaps he may have lost a little bit of himself but it was now a part of him that was gone and made him stronger. You would become a memory he would think back on and smile. You would be his first love that he would think back on fondly.

Okay, maybe not his first love but his first crush.

“Tooru!”

“Hm?” Oikawa perked his head up at his mother’s loud call.

“You would think that there are bees in your brain.” his mother sighed, “I asked if you could grab the pot. The one on the top shelf.”

Oikawa nodded, “okay.”

His mother sighed again, “what’s gotten you in such a dazed mood?”

“I bet it’s (Y/n)-chan.” teased Oikawa’s older sister.

Oikawa rolled his eyes, “please. I don’t like her that way anymore. She’s just an old childhood friend. I don’t even talk to her that much anymore.”

His sister gave him a strange look, staring at him for a long and uncomfortable moment before turning away, “then don’t regret it when she gets swept off her feet by someone better than you.”

“As if there’s someone better than me out there for her.”

“Oh, there are tons of better guys out there just look at-”

“Oh hush you two, I’ve had to listen to adults bicker about pointless things for hours. I don’t want to have to listen to my grown children bicker about pointless things too,” his mother exclaimed, “and Tooru, are you getting that pot down or what?”

“Oh, right.”

“Did I hear someone mention the (L/n) girl?” Asked his father, peeking his head into the kitchen.

“You mean the one Tooru’s in love with?” teased his sister.

Oikawa scoffed.

“She left her umbrella.”

“Oh, someone should-”

Oikawa was quick to snatch the umbrella from his father and race out the door. Of course you forgot your umbrella and just when it looked like it was going to rain. It looks like you haven’t changed from when you were younger.

Oikawa was never really the mom friend but he always found himself looking after you. Whether intentionally or not.

It’s cute. Not having to take care of you but knowing there are still parts of you that are the same. After seeing you in all those volleyball magazines Oikawa wasn’t sure if you were the same clumsy and impatient girl. He suppose it's nice knowing that there are parts of you that are still.. you.

You’re probably still at the bus stop, right? You did just leave five minutes ago. If you were gone, Oikawa would just wait for another day to give it to you. Besides, it would mean you’re on the bus not getting wet. He would definitely need it more if you’ve already borded the train.

Turning the corner, Oikawa lets out a sigh.

There you are.

He recognizes you immediately despite seeing you from behind. Anticipation tingles from the tips of Oikawa’s fingertips to the edge of his nose. His heart’s thumping erratically as swear forms in the palms of his hand.

It’s as if the stars have aligned just for him as you turn and smile. That one smile that’s reserved strictly for him. Your eyes, with that gleam he’s grown to love, meet his own. Then, his heart stops.

Ah.

He’d forgotten this feeling.

It looks like not much has changed about him either.

Fall in love with someone when you’re with them.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

♫ you dont have to answer this especially if you already have a ton but lllllllincoln li-wilson,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i am a simple man

SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS I WANTED TO BE REASONABLY THOROUGH (AND YES I DO HAVE TO ANSWER THIS ACTUALLY!!!)

*breathes* heh. This might be a tad long, so let's go to my super secret Lincoln Li Wilson fan club under the cut

-oh right, the password! No problem it's

SAY HI TO YOUR DAD FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HEH. WELCOME TO THE COOLEST CLUB IN THE FANDOM, POPULATION YOU AND ME.

okokokokokok so so so so well I guess what I realized is that, while I have many songs for this boy- err technically a lot of them are in a shippy sorta context?? But I don't wanna, well, I don't wanna hit you with anything that is too, like, "ship-dependent" cause I don't know what you do or don't ship!

*That said*- my fucking gothcleats playlist dude? I'm handing it to you anyways cause I have FEELINGS about every single one of these fucking songs and imo honestly you can interpret most of them in a completely non romantic context anyways also also almost all of them are from Linc's perspective for me so I think you'd genuinely still appreciate at least some of these. All *that* said, I will be picking a few from this playlist to talk about that really aren't that romance-coded if at all buuuut are gonna be about Scary to some degree.

Oh- my swiftli playlist you ask??? IT'S SO FUCKING STUPID DUDE. It's so dumb like it's so silly like it's almost purely vibes and the vibes are really really dumb but yesss I'm handing you this one as well I'm not saying the songs don't slap but they're still very stupiddddd.

OK on to some fucking songs yeah???? So I guess the first one I'll start with is:

"Angel With A Shotgun" by The Cab

Which, okay, before I even get to the lyrics like come ON am I wrong for thinking that even just that fucking name is the most Lincoln Li Wilson thing in the whole god damn world??

But yeah, I mean lyrically really this one has a lot going for it as a Lincoln song, but to point out a few particular lyrics that stand out to me:

////

If love's a fight, then I shall die With my heart on a trigger

They say before you start a war You better know what you're fighting for

If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Sometimes to win, you've got to sin Don't mean I'm not a believer

And I'm gonna hide, hide, hide my wings tonight

////

😤 This one really gives me extra feels after the last episode, I gotta say! :0 As far as like pure imagery goes I think some strange combination of an angel and a soldier is just *so* Lincoln. There's just these really interesting themes with Lincoln of like, devotion, and sacrifice, and perseverance, and making tough decisions! Especially to help those around you! This song really just captures that for me.

Okay, next!

"Hit The Floor" by Linkin Park (more like Lincoln Park am I right sorry sorry)

Right right, where to start with this one... This one captures two primary concepts for me. It's partially, like, confrontation between Linc and Scary, from his perspective. But actually, I think you could also interpret some of these as relating to his frustrations with Grant as well! Otherwise, I like this one cause I think it captures Linc's ability to like, totally turn the tables and flip the switch when you least expect it? Seriously, that boy is quick on his feet (heh soccer heh), and always has a trick up his sleeve. Here's a few lyrics:

////

One minute, you're on top! The next you're not, missed your shot You think you won, and then it's all gone

So many people like me put so much trust in all your lies So concerned with what you think to just say what we feel inside So many people like me walk on eggshells all day long All I know is that all I want is to feel like I'm not stepped on

What goes up will surely fall, and I'm countin' down the time 'Cause I've had so many stand-offs with you, it's about as much as I can stand So I'm waitin' until the upper hand is mine

I know I'll never trust a single thing you say You knew your lies would divide us, but you lied anyway And all the lies have got you floating up above us all But what goes up has got to fall

////

I guess Mike Shinoda is just *the* Linc artist for me, cause this next one is from him as well!

"Believe Me" by Fort Minor

:0 Also about Linc's confrontations with Scary, but with a different flavor! Here I think it's more retrospective, at least in part, in reference to how Linc used to look up to Scary in some sense, and trusted her and all that. Otherwise, there's obviously some narrative parallels going on between these two, particularly with regards to the evolution of their mental/emotional states, which I think some of these lines nod to as well:

...Yeah it's really basically the entire song for this one ahahaha what can I say it's good shit

////

You like fun and games? Keep playing 'em I'm just saying, think back then, we was like one and the same On the right track, but I was on the wrong train Just like that, now you gotta face the pain And the devil's got a fresh new place to play And in your brain, like a maze you can never escape the rain Every damn day is the same shade of grey

Hey, I used to have a little bit of plan Used to have a concept of where I stand But that concept slipped right out of my hand Now, I don't really even know who I am Yo, what do I have to say? Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free And whatever happens to you, we'll see But it's not gonna happen with me

I guess that this is where we've come to If you don't want to, then you don't have to believe me But I won't be there when you go down Just so you know now, you're on your own now, believe me

Back then, I thought you were just like me Somebody who could see all the pain I see But you proved to me unintentionally That you would self destruct eventually Now I'll be thinking like the mistake I made doesn't hurt But it's not gonna work 'cause it's really much worse Than I thought, I wished you were something you were not And now this guilt is really all that I got

////

ALRIGHT. Let me leave you with one that's just for Linc. I won't bother with specific lyrics for this one, this song slaps (I think!), you gotta give it a listen.

"Galvanize" by The Chemical Brothers

Linc calls the shots in this fucking podcast, you know this, I know this. That's what this one is about.

[mightbewriting]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

oh goodness, hi anon! self-rec is not my forte; i feel deeply self-conscious when doing so. but for you, i shall persevere! i have a soft spot for pretty much everything i've written (and a visceral sense of cringe in equal measure), but at the moment these are the ones i think of most fondly (in no particular order).

she thinks: this one is probably a surprise to a lot of people. i know, i know, romione isn't what 99% of you follow me for etc etc etc. but this soft, horny, romantic little cottagecore fic has my whole heart and i make no apologies for it. i'm also incredibly proud of the number of folks who have told me they don't normally like ron in a romantic lead but love him here. this fic is my personal testimony to the idea that with the right story, any ship can be enjoyable.

season pass (to this ass): i've gone on a bit of a journey with this one, tbh. i wrote it totally on a whim, with very little effort or planning, and it blew up in a way second only to wait and hope. that felt weird? something i put very little effort into was liked so much more than things i put *way more* effort into. BUT i've gotten over that weird, self-confidence shakiness and am back to loving it for all the reasons i loved it when i wrote it. himbo draco is a blast. widely accepted fanon characterizations aren't the be all end all. and everybody loves an enthusiastic partner in bed.

well said, hermione: FIRST PERSON IS FUN, OKAY? inhabiting horny draco headspace for this silly, ridiculous little fic was so much fun. and to this day, i think it's some of the best smut i've ever written. plus there are shakespeare references. and a sexually liberated hermione. and golden snidgets. from brainstorming to posting, i had a blast with this fic even if folks widely refuse to read it because of the pov lol.

a season for setting fires: i get it. i scared people with darkfic after apparently convincing them i'm all soft and fluffy romance only. this is my ~divisive~ story. do i still get a spike of anxiety when i see comments in my inbox for this fic? yes, i sure do. but when i separate my experience with it's reception from the fic itself, i still love this one. i tried new things while writing it, including letting myself do whatever i wanted. i'm proud of the story it tells, done apologizing for it, and thrilled by everyone who got what i was trying to do and enjoyed it as well!

wait and hope: if nothing else, a girl's got to be grateful for the community it brought her, let's be real.