sscieloz

[sscieloz]

looking so fine so mine so 🙈🙉

[sscieloz]

Oh band!aespa…

Live my life

band!aespa x groupie!reader

Synopsis: It’s been less than a year since the band Aespa was created. Karina, Minjeong, Giselle and Ningning travel all over the country with nothing but a few gigs, little money and much love for the music. They’re far from superstars, and they still don’t have a lot to offer, and there’s something they can’t quite grasp: why you, the band’s most faithful fan, follows them blindly.

Warnings: smut. lowk confusing… but it’s the aesthetic

Word count: 9.9k

Notes: I HAVE RETURNED FROM THE DEAD 😤😤 I was obsessed w the MV as soon as it was out so I wrote this!!

pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | pt.4

—

“Do you think it’ll fit?” Ningning’s hesitation is easily explained by the amount of suitcases hanging from the small hood of the car. The four girls agreed to bring each a single backpack of clothes for themselves, so the instruments and sound equipment could also be transported.

Clearly, it was still too much.

“It has to.” Winter answers, her tiny frame reaching up as she tries to grab one of the big suitcases herself. With Ningning’s help, she manages to do it, and they both stare at the car, wondering about an adjustment that would work.

Just as both girls imagined how to rearrange the space, Giselle and Karina stepped down the house's stairs, frowning.

Karina, is, as always, not amused by the struggle placed in front of her, but Giselle scoffs, judging her bandmates for not having things ready yet. They were supposed to pack their stuff in the car while she and Karina prepared their snacks and made sure all the windows and doors were closed, so they’d find no surprises once they got back home from their trip. Now, they’d leave later than expected, which would result in them facing the road at night— which was exactly what they were avoiding.

This day was starting to piss her off.

“What are you doing?” Giselle crossed her arms against her chest, trying her best to not sound as irritated as she was. They all knew, though. The girls know each other too well.

“Playing Tetris.” Minjeong stared back at her, with a tone that was just as presumptuous. “What does it look like we’re doing, Gigi? The space is obviously too fucking small for all of our stuff.”

Karina takes a step further before Giselle is able to open her mouth and give her friend a petty response. Her clumsy hands rearranged the suitcases so fast the three girls barely registered her actions, closing the hood of the car in a quick motion so everything wouldn’t fall off.

“Mhm, you won’t be able to see much of what’s behind the car, Gigi, but I don’t think it can get any better than that.”

The girls simply stare, impressed by Karina’s skills.

“So… problem solved?” Ningning asks, and they all nod.

Without a word, the four girls enter the small car, squeezing themselves as they prepare for their small trip. It wasn’t uncommon for the band to spend hours stuck in Giselle’s stepfather’s old 2000 Civic, but the lack of space was always annoying, making them all feel packed in like sardines. However, the vehicle was the only option they had to make their way to nearby cities to perform, so they avoided making any complaints.

The band was just about an hour into their 4-hour drive when Giselle pulled over, cursing under her breath.

“Fuck.” She mutters, biting her nails as she looks at the line of cars being stopped by the police, just a few miles ahead. Her face was even paler than usual, which set the girls on alert mode immediately— out of the four of them, Giselle was the least likely to panic at any unusual situation.

As soon as her body tensed, the Uchinaga felt long, lithe hands on her neck, applying just the right amount of pressure to soothe her, filling her with reassurance. Karina’s, naturally. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Yeah, why did we stop?” Ningning adds to Karina’s question, just as curious.

Minjeong’s brows furrow and she adjusts her posture, trying to stare at the horizon in the same position Giselle was, from the passenger’s seat instead. As always, she’s quick to understand the situation. “They’re stopping the cars ahead, but it’s just their normal procedure. They’ll stop us, of course, since we’re young girls traveling by ourselves with a bunch of luggage, but we’ve got nothing to hide, so… keep going, unnie. It’s fine.”

Seconds went by before Giselle grunted, a tense atmosphere hanging in the air while she fidgeted her fingers. Only then, her answer came, barely in a murmur. “I don’t have a license.” She could only hope they hadn’t heard her.

Judging from the way her bandmates’ mouths opened in shock they all started to speak together, though, they did.

Such a selective hearing, huh. She always had to yell at them at least three times for someone to get up from the living room and do the dishes, whenever they were home.

“What the fuck, unnie?”

“Do you really drive us illegally? Girl, we go everywhere by car!”

“I can’t believe you’re so damn irresponsible, I fucking swe—“

Karina stops their banter by out-screaming the two younger girls, a few minutes after Giselle had shrieked down on her seat so much she could merge with it anytime. “Wait! Wait.” Three pairs of eyes stare at her, inquiring. The quietness was odd, but it didn’t last much anyway. “I thought you had your permit taken last month?”

It’s Giselle’s turn to roll her eyes, then. “I literally told you I failed. Do you pay attention to anything I say?”

Despite the situation they found themselves in, Minjeong and Ningning couldn’t help but giggle. It wasn’t news that Karina’s got her head up in the clouds, but her innocence was always funny to the girls. Despite being the oldest, she’s just a big puppy, after all.

And she looks outraged, ears red at the thought of being fooled by Aeri.

“What? we even celebrated!” Her face comes to the realization, as Minjeong tries to hide her laughter with a fake coughing fit. Winter’s blonde hair blows effortlessly when she turns her head to the window, in an obvious attempt to escape Giselle’s piercing stare. “Oh! Was that why you were being such a jerk the entire night, at the club?”

Giselle ruffles her hair in frustration but nods anyway. “Yes, that was the reason. Thanks for reminding us of that wonderful day, Jiminnie.”

Ningning taps on Karina’s shoulder, in hopes of offering some comfort to the desolated girl. She whistles, then looks from Aeri to Minjeong as if hoping they’d pull a permit out of nowhere and start driving again. Once it’s clear none of them would provide any solution, she does so herself, lifting her hips to grab her phone from the back pocket of her jeans.

“I’ll call Y/n.” Is all she says, clicking on the red number with 13 missed calls on the screen. “She’ll do something about it.”

Karina’s even more outraged, then, staring at Ningning in disbelief. She tries to reach out for her friend’s phone, but the maknae pulls her hand away with a huff. “Why do you even have her number, anyway?”

Sure, you’d be at their presentation, even if it were at a nearby town, hours away from where they lived. Somehow, you always show up. The girls couldn’t even remember when it happened; all they know is that they played at Ningning’s cousin’s club once, and from then on there you were, accompanying them in every step. You took pictures, edited videos to upload on their YouTube channel, and even helped them get some gigs every once in a while. It’s difficult for the girls to understand the reason you spend so much time and effort with them— a broke, nugu band who’s been doing this for a little over a year, yet there you were. Their first and most faithful fan, ready to drop everything and help them with any situation, at any given time.

Just like now.

Nonetheless, they had agreed to keep you at an arm's distance, only so the lines wouldn’t get too blurry. With time, they got to know you better, and it was noticeable you were as spoiled, obsessive, and explosive as you were sweet and passionate about the things you liked.

Truth be told, you scared them a little.

“I thought we had agreed on not talking to the psycho anymore,” Minjeong commented, resting her head on the window.

Ningning pauses at that, muting herself on the phone for a moment before answering, straightforwardly. “Well, do you want to get there or not?”

Her honesty is harsh enough that Minjeong lifts her palms in surrender, while Karina and Giselle share a knowing look. Ning’s right, naturally —what matters is that they get to the club on time.

“Fine,” The blonde sighs, turning to point at Karina. “But you’ll have to handle that nightmare of a weirdo. Don’t let her freak out or anything, like she did last time.”

“Why do I always have to do it?” Karina pouts, rolling her eyes. “Come on! What the fuck.”

Giselle giggles, grateful that Karina can’t reach out to punch her as she nods. “I agree… it’s a leader’s duty.”

With her brows furrowed and her rosy lips, the oldest member of the band looks much like a doll, adorable in all of her mannerisms. Even when she scoffs, it doesn’t come out nearly as rude and intimidating as she intends it to be. She still looks like a painting, so pretty Ningning pokes her playfully, brushing the irritation out of Karina with her ticklish fingers. Once she’s left ticklish in her seat, Ningning drops her phone, done with her call.

“Y/n said she’ll be here soon.” She announces, and the girls hum faintly in response. It’s enough for her to giggle, reaching out for her bag in hopes of finding a snack. “Don’t be too excited, damn...”

“I just hope she doesn’t take long,” Giselle mutters, ignoring the glares she gets by being to blame for their current situation.

“Well, if someone had just passed their driving test, we wouldn’t—”

The Uchinaga turns to Winter so fast her neck makes a weird noise. “Shut the fuck up, Minjeong.” Her tone is full of mockery, which is dangerous. Giselle gets irritated easily, but it’s hard to get her mad. Whenever she does, though… None of the girls like that. “I don’t see you driving around either.”

Minjeong, who’d rather die than recognize she doesn’t excel at something, puts a hand on her chest with the comment. Her face is quickly filled with red and, in a minute, she’s defending herself as if she’s just received a 5-year sentence.

As much as their banter is entertaining, Ningning still clings onto Karina on the backseat, resting her head on her unnie’s shoulders.

“I do hope Y/n arrives soon.” She tells her friend, closing her eyes despite the noisy background.

Karina smiles, ruffling the maknae’s hair with tenderness as she relaxes beside the oldest. “Don’t worry, Ning. She will.”

If there’s something she’s sure of, is that you don’t play when it comes to their band. Be it for good or for worse.

—

“Hello, cuties.” You say, tapping your knuckles on the driver’s window to gather attention. It works: the girls all jump in their seats, cursing under their breaths as they try to gather themselves from the scare. “Your knight in shining armor has come! Hurry, hurry! You’re running late.”

It had been less than an hour since Ningning’s call, so there’s no way you could’ve reached them so quickly. None of them say those words out loud, of course— some questions are better left unanswered.

“Here comes the devil.” Minjeong mumbles. The smile she gives you is drenched in feigned politeness, yet yours is sincere, bluntly ignoring her grumpiness with a wave of your hand.

“Hi, Y/n.” Karina greets you as the four girls get out of the car. You hug each one of them energetically, clearly pleased to be urged to help.

It doesn’t even bother you that Giselle, Winter, and Ningning only mumble, not paying you much attention. If only, your happiness would take long to wear off.

Still swooning, you gesture to the van that’s parked beside their car where a handsome, baby-faced boy waves at the girls with ease.

“My brother won this van at a bet a few days ago, and fortunately, he lent it to us. It’s more fitting for a band anyway.” You gesture at their car, still explaining. “Gyu can take your stepdad’s car back to your house, Gigi. Don’t worry.”

They already know Beomgyu from the previous times he’s dropped you off at their rehearsals and shows, so it’s nothing new. Although Giselle doesn’t seem convinced about your idea, she reluctantly gives him the car keys anyway. There’s no other option; she can’t just leave the car on the road, even though giving it to a stranger makes her uneasy.

“Thank you, Beomgyu-ssi.” The girls bow at him, thankful for the extra space, to which he simply nods.

The girls are quick to transport the suitcases to the van, stretching their legs out as they sigh with contentment. It’s like they can finally breathe, now that they’re not cramped in a tiny space. Even Minjeong is smiling, her little banter with Giselle being long forgotten by now.

Giselle is in the passenger’s seat, this time, and she’s surprised to see how easy it is to talk to a happy Y/n. You laugh and gossip over other bands the girls come across sometimes, and you tell them the entire story of how Beomgyu actually got the van. Time flies by while you’re on the wheel, and soon enough the four girls find themselves at the back door of the club, fixing their instruments for the time they go on stage.

—

“Do you get all those insane takes with this old-ass camera?” Ning asks curiously, holding the straightener against her hair as she watches you record Winter, who’s busy tuning her bass and pretending you don’t exist.

“It’s vintage, unnie.” You correct her, zooming in on the blonde girl’s delicate hands and her precise movements against the cords. “It has amazing quality, still.” Because Ningning is still staring, clearly waiting for a more direct answer, you add, “Yes. Pretty Much. Hey Minjeongie, look at the camera so I can get a better shot of you.”

All Winter gives you is an irritated look as she scrunches her nose and shakes her head. The girls enjoy arriving early at their events so they’re able to gather a few minutes of quietude, strictly to relax and focus on not letting the nerves overcome their abilities to shine on stage. You know that— it’s something you’ve seen them do countless times before. You find it adorable how they’d just close their eyes and try to control their breaths, fingers tapping their thighs to ease the anxiety that always comes with the wait of going on stage. No matter how many times they perform, the thrill will always be the same.

Although you don’t mind interrupting Winter’s time of focusing at all. Seeing you won’t give in, Winter scoffs, dropping the bass onto her lap. “Be polite, Y/n. Say please.”

Her intentions are as obvious as daylight. She’s mocking you, defiant like the insufferable being she is. Out of the four girls, Minjeong is the most stubborn, and you’re much alike. She was the one you got into most arguments with, none of you backing down from the opportunity of being right.

Said banter is the reason you turn and adjust the camera focus to Ningning, instead of giving in to the blonde girl. Yizhuo looks pretty as always, smiling at you as you kneel to get a take of her from a better angle.

You’re immediately interrupted by the same girl who was irritated by your presence just seconds ago. In a blink, Winter’s hands go to your chin, forcing you to face her with an assertive grip. “No. Film me.” Her porcelain skin shines against her dark eyes, who pop out even more, making her intimidating aura stand out in the small room as she adds with an icy, commanding tone, “And have manners.”

God, you’d gladly take her down just to get rid of that cocky tone.

“Stare at the fucking camera so you can have some decent solo shots, Winter unnie.” Your reply comes immediately, tone dripping with venom, “Please.”

Winter’s face is so red you’re afraid she’s going to combust at any second. She never spares hurtful words during arguments, and you’re ready for her to give it all. Disaster is set to happen until Giselle pops her head backstage, looking for you. Her eyes disappear and her cheeks flare up as soon as she meets your face, breaking the tension with a smile once her presence unintentionally ends the small battle you were having with Winter.

“Y/n!” She calls, handing out her hand to help you stand up. “Could you come help us with the drums, please? The guys from the bar are trying, but they’re so damn useless… We need you.”

You look away and Winter’s grip on you fades, although her trimmed nails still scratch your jaw as she lets her hand fall to her sides and returns to the couch, tuning her bass as if she had never been interrupted.

“Sure, Gigi. Let’s go.” It’s impossible to not smile back, allowing yourself to be guided through the narrow stairs of the place until you arrive at the stage. You don’t bother saying goodbye to either Ningning or Winter, knowing you’re going back to them as soon as you’re done.

The two younger girls are left by themselves, in silence for the first time since you arrived to pick them up, hours ago. It’s unsettling yet peaceful; not uncomfortable by any means. They’ve known each other for too long by now, so being with each other is more than natural— it’s one’s absence that is unsettling.

After giving her hair a few finishing touches, Ningning turns to her bandmate, pulling the chair beside her as she gestures for Minjeong to sit. Its leather cover is torn and the comfort is long gone, but they don’t mind. They’ve performed in far more awful places anyway.

“Okay, I’m done! Be still while I do your makeup, now, unnie.” Minjeong does as told, closing her eyes while the maknae starts moisturizing her skin.

The silence has Winter’s mind replaying the previous banter nonstop. She tries to stay silent, but the memory of your petty smirk is enough to leave her fuming, pumping with rage.

“Can you believe her, Ning? That fucking bitch, ugh. She’s so insufferable.”

“Oh, definitely.” Ningning smiles, thankful Minjeong has her eyes closed. She lets out a small giggle, still focused on brushing the concealer through her friend’s face. “God forbid someone puts you in your place, right unnie?”

She nearly doesn’t escape the highlighter Minjeong throws in her direction, now laughing freely as she continues with her task.

—

Aespa is a band of many talents.

The girls all met during sophomore year of high school, all trapped in detention for the day (as much as Minjeong would rather die than admit she’s ever gotten detention in her life). Even though they differ in personalities, in a clear contrast of cultures, manners, and experiences — their differences somehow added to each other until there wasn’t something missing anymore. The feeling of longing and loneliness that had accompanied them for so many years had finally ceased. After that, the girls found themselves at peace: the world was finally silent, as long as they were together. No matter how chaotic it was, Karina, Minjeong, Giselle, and Ningning knew they’d like nothing else but to be together.

Luckily, they all shared two main passions: the love for music and the desire for attention, so being in a band together was something that happened rather naturally. The members all agreed, then, that Karina should be the leader. She was soft-spoken, calm, and had the experience in the industry the others lacked, from being a child model. It was the right decision: the oldest would do anything to protect her girls, and knew just the right people to ask for opportunities. They weren’t famous, nor did they make enough money to live off exclusively from the music, but it was enough, for now.

They had trouble understanding you, though. It was hard to grasp why on earth would they have someone so faithful, so committed to following their every move when they weren’t even famous? They didn’t have money, influence, or anything to offer you whatsoever. Yet you were always there, giving them your endless support without asking for anything in exchange. You could be a handful sometimes, sure, but still… your commitment was something that left the girls constantly wondering.

Because you’re special. The world will see this too, someday. is what you’d always answer, followed by a giggle and a wave of your hand, muttering about how it all wasn’t that big of a deal.

But as Giselle watches you help them relocate their instruments and set the tripods and cameras straight, she wonders if that’s truly it.

“Hey, Gigi.” You smile at her, looking down at the ground once you realize you’re the object of her piercing, focused gaze. “Are you and the other girls ready to go? Everything’s in order here.”

Now isn’t the time for that, though, Aeri reminds herself. As of now, the only thing she should focus on is her upcoming stage. Music is one of the many things she was strict with: she pushed herself to nothing but perfection, no matter where she was performing.

The other girls are quick to follow your call, grabbing their instruments and getting into their starter positions as they’ve done countless times before. They all adjust their mics to the perfect height until Karina is the only one left in the center, tapping hers to make sure she sounds loud and clear. Ningning’s hands fiddle with her drumsticks nervously, paddling along with her whole body— surely from the energy drinks she’s had minutes before, while Minjeong and Giselle stay each on one side of the stage, waiting for their leader’s cue.

Offering free tickets for those who arrived before 11 PM was a great strategy that many clubs implemented to fill up their spaces. And even though you’re well aware the girls are known enough to gather such a crowd without that stunt, you’re glad to have a full house staring at the small stage with expectation.

Karina waits until you’re done with your camera’s finishing touches up to speak, her voice echoing through the noise so easily that your hands stop adjusting the device’s focus to pay attention to her. With a smile so big her eyes grow small, her face is like a beacon, gathering all the focus to herself without the need for a spotlight.

“Goodnight! I’m Karina, and those are my bandmates: Minjeong, Giselle, and Ningning.” She points to each of her friends, who bow and wave excitedly, still waiting for her cue. “And we’re AESPA! We hope you like our music, we’ve worked hard on our songs! Please enjoy.”

With that, Ningning taps on her drumsticks, as they’ve done countless times before. Minjeong’s bass and Giselle’s guitar sync with Karina’s voice as soon as they start playing, the melody echoing through the place like physical particles. Music is more than just a part of their lives: it’s who they are, how they express themselves, what they breathe, and it’s easy to forget they’re at a shitty pub and not at a fancy festival. As long as their voices and instruments are harmonizing together, the girls get lost in their passion and nothing else matters.

Even though they’re a new group— barely a year into the industry, original songs are not something that lack from their setlist. The public is screaming, the girls are jumping as they sing and dance along the rhythm and you try your best to capture their best angles, but the distraction in the form of a sin that is Karina prevents you from doing a good job. Her dark eyes glow in the dark, giving her an angelic aura as her strong voice reverberates through the place with ease, despite her shitty mic. It’s an impressive crowd they’re performing for, but she’s only staring at you. Preventing you to breathe or even move, afraid she’d lose her interest and look elsewhere.

No, you’d have none of that. Like all the girls, Karina was yours: you’d share her utter attention with no one.

So you stay at the front line, with your hands holding onto the camera as your head is held up in a frozen frame, looking at her.

You’d always look at her.

—

The afterparties are always one of the girls’ favorite events. The adrenaline rush is still present, giving them tons of energy to drink and party with strangers. They are constantly showered with compliments, being pampered, and indulged with all the attention they crave. It’s part of the reasons why they deal with music, obviously: Minjeong, Giselle, Ningning, and Karina. Because the desire to be seen and recognized for their music is a feeling they’ve been looking for ever since they can remember.

And that’s exactly what they were indulging in before hearing a loud crack from outside of the backstage room. The noise, followed by a bunch of ugly screams, startles the four girls, who exchange a quick, worried glance before storming down straight into the sideway alley.

“Damn.” Ningning whistles, covering her mouth with her hand to hide the smile coming from her lips. At her side, Minjeong and Karina are equally shocked and frozen at the scene unraveling in front of them.

People usually use the dark alley to smoke and get a break from the noisy, heated space of the club. Instead, the four girls find a huddle of girls so entwined with one another it’s hard to tell how many there are. Four, maybe five? Of them are vividly screaming, kicking, tugging, and pulling hairs. Despite the mess, the girls realize there’s one that keeps beating the shit out of them, which is impressive due to being gravely outnumbered.

As the commotion stops for seconds once the strangers become aware of the newer company, it’s easier to tell a specific head of honey hair apart from the others.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Minjeong’s murmur doesn’t come off nearly as disappointed as she intends to. If anything, she’s also holding back her laughter while you prove that one does not need that many muscles to win off a fight.

“Go Y/n!” Karina claps, cheering. None of the three girls make any move towards the scene, so Giselle turns her head towards them in disbelief.

The Japanese girl shrugs, quickly making her way onto the ground to break off the fight. She’s always been strong, and her time spent at the gym pays off as she grabs you by the waist and throws you over her shoulder, heading back to the backstage room as if you weigh nothing. Any attempts of resisting are useless, yet you don’t make Giselle’s job any easier— your kicking and screaming are now directed at her, hands curling into fists while you use your entire strength to hit her muscled back.

“Put me DOWN! I’m not done with those whores.” Your feverish voice is ignored by the four girls, who are used to your tantrums by now.

They know you’re naturally provocative, and never one to back down from a fight, even if you were in the wrong. And, somehow, you were good at it too: even if you left bruised and scratched, your opponents would somehow always turn out worse.

“Sorry ladies, we have some issues to deal with. If you excuse us.” As the group goes back inside, Ningning offers the poor beaten-up girls a calculated smile before closing the door on their faces. She doesn’t bother to check in on them— they’re strangers, after all.

You’re thrown onto the worn-out sofa with little care, suddenly staring at four serious faces. The funny atmosphere of the fight is long gone, so you cross your arms under your chest and grunt, face held high to put up with their judgmental looks.

This is their job, and they can’t have you causing trouble over anything. You’re associated with them by now, whether they like it or not. It’d be an awful occurrence.

“So, troublemaker, tell us.” Giselle is the first to speak, brushing the bangs out of her face. Even after carrying you for solid minutes, she still looks flawless, much different from your disheveled self. “What had you beating their asses out there?”

There’s a pout on your lips, and the defiant air in the room stirs up their nerves. It’s an annoying interruption of the fun they were having just now, and the alcohol makes it hard for them to stay patient.

Minjeong takes half a step forward, her hands messing up your hair even more. “Speak, Y/n. We have better things to do.”

She doesn’t coddle you, tone cold as it always was when directed towards you, but you don’t mind. If anything, you take pride in making her life a bit more difficult every time. You know they won’t give you their attention for much longer, though, which is why you take a deep sigh.

“I was defending your honor, you idiots!” You gesticulate towards the door, huffing. “Those whores were out there, talking about you, speaking the most vile things… I had to do something. You should be thanking me, and not look so pissed.” You roll your eyes, muttering the rest to yourself as you sink on the dirty couch. “You never acknowledge anything I do anyway.”

It had felt too hot inside, so you passed the backstage area to gather some fresh air at the alley when you encountered the group of girls. They were in love with the band, obviously, and were very vocal about the things they’d let the girls do to them: how their leather clothes were so tight and how hot they were… Hearing such things being said about your girls made your blood boil. They were yours, and no one else had the right to desire them like that. So you were quick to take action and make sure everyone knew who Giselle, Winter, Karina, and Ningning belonged to. As a matter of fact, It was a successful attempt: after the lesson you taught them, those girls would think twice before saying anything again.

Your gaslighting does little to the band; it’s easy to look further into your façade now that they know you. They don’t pity you in the slightest, well aware you’re one to be cautious around.

Karina smiles at your act. She can’t help it if the pout on your lips makes you so adorable, and your crossed arms are the reason your send nudes crop top rides up so your boobs are even more evident. “Which things, Y/n? What were they saying, exactly?”

“What they said doesn’t matter.” You huff, dismissing Karina’s question with a wave of your hand. “The important thing is that they’ve been dealt with, and your honor is intact. You’re welcome.”

The electronic music is loud, and it’s easy to feel the rhythm reverberating through the furniture, sending electric waves to your bones that rile you up even more. You’re energized, ready to go back to the crowd, drink, smoke, and stir up some trouble again.

Aeri must’ve been thinking the same thing since she merely shakes her head and leaves without a word. Ning is the next one to follow, proceeded by Minjeong, who rolls her eyes and points her finger right at your face.

“You’re such a menace, Y/n. Acting like an animal… you can’t behave at all.” You’re used to the disdain in her voice, so the only thing you do is mirror her snobbish stare as you watch her leave.

Unlike her bandmate, Karina’s eyes are kind— even though you’ve just messed up hard. You’re the only ones left in the room, you realize, as she holds out her hand to you. With her presence, the music ceases, and the only thing you can focus on is the sound of her heartbeat, and how her little chin mole goes up to match her smile, which is equally sweet.

Sweet, patient, and definitely too good for you: that’s Karina, a soul that should stay untouched, not yet ruined by the world and by other people.

Too bad that you’ve never been one to do the right thing.

You navigate towards her in a magnetic motion, taking her help so fast your bodies nearly crash once you get up from the couch. Instead of complaining or making fun of you for being so abrupt, Karina takes her free hand to your face, cupping your cheek before carefully wiping the dirt from your skin.

“Troublemaker.” She repeats Giselle’s words from earlier, although they sound almost reverent when said in her raspy voice, tired from the crazy routine they live with. “She’s a bit right, don’t you think?” The smirk on her lips is playful, and she toys with you. “You keep us on our toes, for sure. I guess someone has to.”

She doesn’t mind. If anything, Karina misses your presence when you’re gone— which is thankfully, a rare occasion. Sure, you’re stubborn, spoiled, and very annoying, but the band somehow needs you to keep their engines running. She knows the other girls feel the same way about you too, even if they’re good at not making it known.

Being with Karina feels right. She’s Aespa’s peace, their leader, and their oldest member. And, just like everybody that has ever met her, you long to be around the older girl.

“Let’s go back to the party, Jimin unnie.” You tell her, crossing your arms behind her neck. If there’s anything she’d want you to do, you would. Gladly. “I want to dance.”

She smiles back at you, looking at the half-open door before nodding. “As you wish, Y/n.”

—

Aespa’s hotel room for the night is precarious, to say the least. The wallpaper is peeling from the walls, the furniture is dusty— and the small dining table seems to barely handle your laptop and media equipment. The bed makes too many weird noises at the slightest movement, and the smell of mold is a bit unsettling for those with a decent sense of smell.

It’s Minjeong’s job to deal with their spending and to book their stays, whenever the band wanders off their hometown. Her father works as a treasurer at a well-established company and has taught her how to handle her own money from a young age. Sometimes, though, she tends to spend too little, given the fact that they still did not earn much with their performances, and the five girls would end up in situations like the current one. Not that they truly minded: they had two rooms to sleep in and breakfast by the morning, which was more than enough. They would handle the rest.

Karina, Giselle, Ningning, and Minjeong are all rockstars, it’s natural for them to thrive under attention. They live for it, and you love to record their pretty faces. Out of all the experiences of being with the girls, getting to take pictures and videos of their performances and looks— be it before, during, or after their shows. Editing might also be a pain and sometimes feel like a chore, but it was also something you enjoyed doing.

Besides, the praises and the proud, enamored look Giselle, Ningning, Karina, and Minjeong gave you whenever you updated something new to their channel and social media was something you looked forward to, naturally. In fact, you’re so focused on your task that you barely notice a sudden wave of hot breath on your shoulder.

“How far are you, yet?” Karina’s wet hair clings to your neck as you breathe in her post-bath scent, so refreshing. You’re unable to see her sulk behind you, but her whiny tone is enough for you to figure her feelings out before she adds, “Also, why am I the one with the least videos, Y/n?”

You don’t even stop your work to look at the vocalist, who stares at your laptop’s screen with expectation: the answer is obvious to anyone who has ever had the privilege of getting to know Aespa's leader."

“Because I’m always too busy looking at you to focus on anything else.” The words leave your mouth immediately, exposing facts. “But I’ll improve for next time if that’s what you wish.”

Doing anything after Karina opens her mouth is impossible. Her angelic voice and sharp moves draw all the attention to her immediately; one would be completely insane to not be mesmerized by her. By all of her.

“It is.” She nods, still so close you’re able to feel her body pressed against you through the chair’s cracks. Like a kitten, Karina purrs, finally breaking the tension between you by pressing small, wet kisses to your neck. “Y/n…”

You’re doomed. You’ve known that ever since she left the bathroom, with wet hair and red, swollen lips that did little to hide what she was up to while the shower was running.

Karina’s long, purple-painted nails scratch your neck, forcing you to pay attention to her— as if you’d do anything else. You’re quick to comply, closing your laptop as you stand up and walk away from the oldest member, onto your backpack. Her confused brows are adorable, but the realization comes soon once she reckons the camera on your hands. By then, there’s a dirty smirk on both of your lips; you know she loves this as much as you do.

“Are you up for another show, doll?”

Karina nods, suddenly shy from all the dirty thoughts going through her head. Her skin throbs, and there’s a familiar sensation building up in her core from the anticipation.

After waiting for the camera to be well adjusted and centered in front of the bed, with the familiar red dot announcing the recording, she turns around, removing her robe with practiced ease. The silk fabric of her robe cascades from her back, exposing her milky skin in its most perfect form. She’s indeed like a doll; body still untouched, announcing it’s been a while since she’s had any fun, and her Venus dimples flare up with every step she takes towards the bed. Her curves are perfectly enhanced by her sensual walk— she knows so, grabbing her hair out of the way so you’re able to get a clear shot of her body.

You’re so lucky to even have the privilege of looking at her. Karina seems to think the same thing; her knowing smile turns malicious just as she sits on the bed, spreading her legs out for your delight. Playing around with her is almost a routine, by now: Karina needs something, someone to be her stress-relief, and you’re more than eager to help.

However, seeing her bare and so eager to welcome your touch was something you’d crave forever. No matter how many times it happened: you’d always be hungry for the slightest glimpse of her pretty pussy.

And it was no secret that Karina loved to show off, so you drink on her like you haven’t had a single drop of liquor in ages.

It had indeed been too long.

“How do I look, baby?” Her voice is soft, calm as she looks deep inside your eyes and taps on her pussy with two of her fingers. A small strand of wetness lingers between her fingers and her slit, and she takes her fingers forward to make a show for seconds longer. It’s only when the strand dissipates that Karina brings her fingers into her mouth, taking them in ever so naturally. You don’t even register the whine that comes from your lips once she releases them with a ‘bop’, right after licking them clean.

“Absolutely stunning.” Your answer comes in a heartbeat, which pleases her deeply. In a blink, you’re in front of her on the bed, although still careful to not cover up her frame for the camera. Not that you have to worry about that; Karina is well aware of her best angles. “As always.” You lick your lips, eager to have your mouth on her, licking every part of her body until she’s more than satisfied, coated with your saliva.

But you know better than to touch her without permission, so you simply wait, aware she needs more indulgence than merely a few words. You run your hands up and down her legs, ever so obedient, hoping she’ll allow you to touch her.

Instead, her fingers go up to her chest, groping her big, voluptuous breasts. She’s so evil— Karina knows how obsessed you are with her boobs, “You caused so much trouble today, Y/n… I shouldn’t let you touch me at all.”

Her feigned innocence only adds to your desire, dampening your pussy even more. Even though you’re burning up, you can’t help but be in awe by how much of a goddess she looks, and it takes everything in you to not just grab her by the ankles and suck on her clit until she was screaming and leaking white from her pussy. Still staring at you, Karina twists her nipples and moans, biting her lip as she breathes in deeply.

You’re already throbbing yourself, and she’s done nothing. That’s the amount of power she has over you.

“I’ve been bad.” You nod almost eagerly, ready to do whatever she commands you to if it means you’ll get to pleasure her. “Can I still have you, though? Promise to make you feel super good.”

At first look, Karina might be the most inviting one out of all of the girls, but you know better than to fall into her trap: just like her bandmates, the leader thrives on playing games, manipulating people, and fooling around. Thankfully to both you and her, you’re happy to indulge in all of her wishes. So you add, battling your lashes at her as you take off your clothes yourself, not bothering for a command on this matter. “I’ll do my best for unnie…”

Karina’s eyes darken at the sight of your naked body; it’s so empowering to know she’s just as affected by you, and she runs her fingers through your hair with practiced ease. Taking her silence as an encouragement, you lie down until your face is lined up with her soaked cunt, blowing warm, rapid breaths onto her sex.

She smiles, then, caressing your cheek before giving it a light tap. “Go get the strap, baby.” Your smile fades immediately, and you contemplate ignoring her words until she’s changed your mind before your cheek is met with more of Karina’s fingers, her touch stronger this time. “Now.”

You huff, muttering incoherences because she’s such a bitch, ruining all of your plans, but still do as told, grabbing the strap without much further fussing. With the toy in hands, you return to the edge of the bed, staring at her with a puzzled look on your face.

“Are you going to use it?” You ask, curious. Taking Karina’s cock was something you always looked forward to, and the sight of her pounding onto you was enough for your walls to clench, eager to welcome her.

Karina launches forward before you even finish your question, grabbing your thighs with practiced ease as her fingers brush your pussy. The surprise touch makes you let out a loud moan, which stirs up a laugh on the older girl.

“If only you’d behaved today… I had so many things planned for us to do.” Karina’s voice sounds almost regretful, making you kneel once again, “No, baby. Tonight’s only about me. Now suck.”

There’s little time for you to think her thoughts through. Your mind goes blank, and you open your mouth to give her a show this time, reversing the roles. Always eager to please, you gag on her cock. Saliva drips onto the sheets as she shoves it down your throat, but you don’t seem to care, emptying your mind to give her will over you to use you like a toy. She’s not sweet or slow by any means— Karina’s innocent smile, welcoming posture, and puppy-like personality make a good disguise for hiding how dirty she is. Part of her tells herself it’s wrong, and that’s why she tries to reject how much her body craves rougher actions, but the truth is that the hiding and the expectation also turn her on.

Those thoughts hover in your mind as you bob on her strap, looking at the leader through your lashes while you gather all your focus on giving your best for her. You try to look your best, and give your best for Aespa’s leader: she deserves nothing less, after all. It seems to be enough for Karina, who sighs at the sight of you staring from behind your lashes with your hair all over the place ever since her tangling hands went to your scalp, encouraging you to keep going for so long you’ve lost track of time.

“Beautiful. You look so beautiful like this, baby.” She murmurs with a low, sultry tone as she takes the strap from your mouth and seals your lips in a slow kiss. You’re starved for her; your boobs press together when you deepen the kiss, desperate for more. At this point you’re already soaked, leaving a deep, wet spot on the sheets— and your skin burns. “Don’t be rude. Say thank you.”

Such a tease, she is. You roll your eyes at her trying to rile you up, and she laughs. “Don’t even.” You mutter, rolling your eyes at her.

Karina’s hands go to your thighs, caressing your skin as she motions for you to get up once again. “You’re so stubborn.” She chants, adjusting the strap on you. Per her request, you lay back on the bed as soon as you’re done, somehow managing to sink under the shallow pillows.

There’s such a mean smirk dancing around her lips. Your cunt aches and it’s borderline painful; sweat covers your body and you’re nearly sure you’ll go insane if you don’t give her all the pleasure she’s worthy of very soon. All you want is to eat her out until she’s breathless, porcelain skin all marked begging for you to stop. Then, you’d lick her clean, making her cum so many times there’d be plenty of milk dripping from her hole for you to drink on. All yours. She’s all yours to tend to.

“Why don’t you just let me do it already…” You whine, drawing your head back when she grabs one of your nipples and twists— the friction feels so good it sends a hit of pleasure straight to your pussy.

Instead of indulging your needs, Karina laughs, and there’s a hidden mockery in her tone that only adds to your frustration. She comes close until her hips rest on your thighs, with the strap being the only thing that keeps a distance between you. Before you’re able to test her patience even more, she positions the dick on her entrance, slightly rocking back and forth so it hits deliciously against her clit.

“You can look.” She says, grabbing your shoulders to steady herself. “But you can’t touch. Understood, baby?”

Karina’s eyes, big and expressive, stare at you with feigned innocence as one of her hands caresses your jaw, lifting your face so you’d stare at her. Having her making such luscious sounds so close to you is like a death penalty. Karina’s mouth hangs slightly open, and you gulp whenever she aligns the fake dick with her entrance, giving you a serious look that makes it clear that she expects an answer to her command.

A huge bitch, she is. A hot, sexy, and huge bitch. It’s nearly impossible to stay still, but you can see the challenge in her eyes as soon as she cocks her head at you. Although her little act of defiance is silent, her intentions are as clear as day: she wants you to humiliate yourself: to beg for forgiveness so you’ll maybe get granted the privilege of touching her.

So you smile back, placing your hands on your hips and doing nothing else, even if you’re itching to run your tongue all over her body. “As you wish, unnie.”

Karina is so wet, of course she is— it’s not hard to leave her drenched. The dick slides in easily, and she takes her time with taking down its inches. Your grip on her hips turns slightly stronger at the sight of her looking so angelical, as her big, soft boobs are all in display to your face. That earns you a censoring look, and you move your hands with another eye-roll. There's nothing more you want but to touch her.

After a few breaths, Karina finds a steady pace, bouncing on your lap. The gushing sounds of her pussy that echo through the room are nearly pornographic, and you find yourself letting out desperate whimpers, too.

“So good.” She murmurs, lost in pleasure. Her grip on your shoulders tightens, and you feel her muscles tensing up.

You can’t help it— watching her pleasure herself is almost too much. Without much thinking, your fingers make their way to her clit, circling her hardened as you study her, testing out the waters. She lets out a gasp at the sensation, closing her eyes to enjoy the way her lower abdomen kept building up the tension. The tingling sensation increases with the rhythm of your strokes, along with her moves, and it doesn’t take much further for Karina to cum.

Just as always, Karina’s strong voice fills the room as she takes her head back, clenching her pussy once the waves of pleasure hit her with strong motions. Her entire body trembles, and she relies on you to keep her steady.

“You look the prettiest when you cum.” You tell her, after a few moments of silence.

The laugh she lets out is weak, more like a giggle as Karina sighs deeply, carelessly throwing herself on your side of the bed. She turns to you, then, so close your noses are nearly touching, disregarding your words as if you hadn’t said anything at all. “And you can’t ever behave, can you?”

You mirror her smirk, pecking her lips before shaking your head. “You like it that way, though.”

The two of you stay in a comfortable silence, one you don’t mind at all. The girls have had some busy, tiring weeks, and you know Karina needs rest. She’s tired—they all are, so the tension relief was well welcomed by the oldest girl. Despite being all sweaty and breathless, Karina is much less anxious now that you’ve helped her relax. She runs her fingers through your body, taking her time until she reaches your pussy. It delights her to feel how soaked you are: she’s aware of the amount of power she holds over you, and the fact that you’re gulping, still throbbing yourself, is something so empowering to her.

It makes her insides tingle all over again, asking for more.

“Jimin…” You whine again, opening your legs to give the girl better access to your entrance. You need her to touch you or else you’ll explode.

Two of her fingers enter your cunt before you can cry any further, hitting a fast pace without warning. The action is well welcomed, and you hold her wrist, motioning to go further. But Karina loves to make you frustrated; it’s almost as if she thrives on it: just like they made their way inside, her fingers are gone, and her mean smirk is back.

“You haven’t behaved at all today.” She repeats herself, laughing as she kisses your pout away. You bite her lip in response, which makes her pull your face away, although she’s still giggling. “You’ll get nothing tonight, baby. I’m sorry.”

You narrow your eyes at her, “You’re such a fucking liar! You’re not sorry at all!”

Karina turns her back to you, making a show of ignoring you as she grabs the covers just as a big yawn hits her. “Goodnight to you too, pretty. Sleep tight,” You roll your eyes, ready to give her a sneaky remark when she adds, “Oh, and don’t forget to turn off the camera. We don’t want you running out of battery or anything, do we?”

“You’re such a bitch.” Although you still get up and do as told, knowing she’s partially right.

Karina waits patiently for you to return to bed, with her small eyes and big smile. The sensuality and roughness from earlier have been replaced by her usual bubbly self, which you adore just as much. It has always been amusing to you how easily it is for her to just switch back and forth from the luscious, gorgeous woman she is to her puppy personality, and you adore her either way.

You hop into her arms, humming when she fills your neck with small, wet kisses.

“You have to behave, silly.” Is what she tells you, biting your skin gently. You’re one to bruise easily, you both know it as much. However, you say nothing, allowing her to do as she pleases. “Otherwise you won’t get a reward.”

“We’ll see about that.” You murmur, happy to get lost in her cuddles. “I sure need something after that torture session.”

Your words cause you to be pushed back, although you know Karina’s only joking.“Oh my God! Go to sleep, Y/n. Goodnight.”

“Ugh.” Is all you answer, closing your arms around her waist.

“Y/n.”

“Right, right.” You sigh, “Goodnight, cutie. Can I get a kiss?”

The hand that goes through your face is enough of an answer.

“Sleep. We’ll have a busy day tomorrow.” She commands.

And because it’s Karina, you obey. You’d always hail the band’s leader.

Your personal camgirl.

—

Breakfast has always been something you’d skip if you could. It’s a pain to wake up so early, and you need at least an hour to be somewhat presentable and another two until you can properly talk to anyone. However, the soon you leave this shitty hotel the better, so you resume sitting beside Giselle and Ningning while they talk excitedly. You chew on your bread with scrambled eggs with perhaps too much patience, still marveling at how composed they look despite running on 5 hours of sleep.

“So, we’ve got good news. Amazing news, actually. Like, the greatest news ever.” Ningning’s nearly jumping in her seat, her eyes darting from you, then Giselle, Minjeong, and finally to Karina multiple times in seconds. Yizhuo plays with her hands, nudging Karina while nearly dying of anxiety. “Unnie, would you please tell them? Go, go.”

The excitement in her tone captures enough of your attention; you, Giselle, and Minejong collectively sit up straighter, exchanging a confused look. The fact that they know as little as you do is comforting, and stirs up a nice, warm feeling of being included within your heart. The girls could be harsh and a little mean sometimes, naturally, but there are times when they’re also very sweet.

Karina laughs, pinching Ning’s cheeks. Even though Ningning pretends she despises it, you love to baby her and spoil her rotten.

“You can do it, Ning.” She encourages her baby girl to speak up, loving the smile that brightens up the maknae’s lips after the command. “Go ahead, tell them what we’re doing next.”

With her leader’s blessing, Ningning lets out a happy squeal and launches herself upwards. The upper half of her body hangs on the breakfast table as she looks around before whispering as if the topic is top-secret.

“So, this guy approached me after our show.” She stops abruptly at your reactions, waving her hands, “Hey, don’t make such faces! He wasn’t a weirdo or anything, I promise. Anyway, he came up and said he worked for AKT Music Ent. and that he liked our music and thought we had potential.” Ningning pauses, looking up to her leader for reassurance. Once Karina nods, giving her a knowing smile, she adds, “And then I told him to talk to Karina, of course, because she’s our leader and all… but basically, he invited us to compete at The Box, next month. Can you believe it?”

“You’re fucking with us.” Minjeong answers, in awe. She looks at Karina, with her mouth still slightly open in shock. “Please tell me you’re serious. That this isn’t a joke or anything.”

Karina has a proud look on her face as she nods. “It’s a thing. We’re doing it.”

“HELL YES!” Giselle screams, laughing loudly. She reaches out her arms and squeezes you and Ningning in a tight hug, her embrace so strong it’s borderline suffocating. Not that you mind— if anything, it fills you with warmth to be with them in their first big accomplishment. “WE’RE PLAYING IN THE BOX! OH MY FUCKING GOD. WE ARE AMAZING!”

Minjeong and Karina laugh at her reaction, just as happy from the news. Taking part in the event is an amazing opportunity for them: the mere thought of performing at the stage is enough to give them goosebumps, both of fear and excitement.

The Box is a week-long competition where the top 3 winners get a 2-year long contract, each signed with one of the Big 3 music companies of the country: SM, JYP or YG. It’s an elite program where successful bands have gained popularity and recognition, like SNSD. It’s set at a big, open area at the countryside and held much like a festival: the event has become more and more capitalized with every passing year. The companies make sure to hold a big show out of the entire thing, broadcasting the events that happen simultaneously 24/7— numerous interviews, commercials are shot by the participants to support the sponsors of the competition, which helps them to make their debut on national television. There are various foods, restaurants and parties being held at all times. It’s also a great opportunity for fans of nugu bands to personally interact with them, and actually super nice to meet other bands and artists. Besides the main goal, being at the event alone is a huge honor and opportunity for the band to grow as artists. They certainly won’t take for granted.

Minjeong claps excitedly. “We need to celebrate!”

“Absolutely.” Giselle agrees, looking with disgust at the men who kept sitting at the nearby tables even though it was still fairly early, and the Diner was still empty. “At home, though. Let’s get out of here, please.”

The five of you exchange a knowing look, collectively getting up at the same time as you grab your belongings and hurry to leave the shitty hotel. Your hearts are filled with pride, and you couldn’t be happier for them.

“You deserve this.” Is what you tell them, breaking the steady silence that reigned in the car. The girls look at you, all returning from dreamland.

Even though their only response is a faint hum, the satisfaction on their faces tells you they needed to hear that. “This is only a result of your hard work. All the hours of practice, the shitty-ass places you played at before, the No’s you’ve gotten… It’s going to work out, trust me.”

Karina’s arms go to your neck, in a gentle caress as she adds, looking at her bandmates. Her best friends. “Y/n is right. We got this.”

There’s nothing they can’t do, as long as they’re together.

[sscieloz]

oh I used to #cook

Until you come back home

Minatozaki Sana x reader

Synopsis: Sana meets you when you come to Seoul to present her company's new American shareholders, falling for you immediately. You get married and have plenty of ups and downs until your marriage finally seems to get happy and stable. That is, until she realizes her son looks exactly like her best friend and shareholder, Momo.

Warnings: g!p Sana, g!p Momo, cheating, toxic relationships, drinking, pregnancy, children (?), cursing. they’re all little shits. if any of that doesn’t appeal to you pls don’t read it.

Word count: 6.6k

Notes: this is v messy, but I wanted it to be messy. it was written in a different style, but that’s because I wasn’t supposed to explain reader and sana’s entire relationship... I understand this can be an unpleasant topic so pls remember it’s only a work of fiction; I don’t condone toxic relationships or any type of cheating. Also I wanted to say this was supposed to be 600 words long n i do hate myself

—

Sana knew you were special from the first time you entered the room. You were tall, lithe, and imposing—your presence immediately making everyone’s eyes dart around your curves and exquisite appearance. You entered the company—her company, like you owned the place, making it your personal runaway as you paved your way through the hallways, bored eyes critically judging each and every spot of the building like nothing you’d see there would ever surprise you.

Their attention was all on you, from the moment you placed your papers on the table to the last minute of the conference. There was something about the way you held yourself: as if no one was worthy enough of more than a few seconds of your attention. You’ve barely given her a proper look, which fueled a fire within Sana. How could you not immediately fall on your knees for her? She was The Minatozaki Sana, after all: CEO and biggest shareholder of JYP Entertainment. People fought for a single second of her attention, a mere look from her making them immediately do anything she commanded. Yet, you didn’t pay her anything further than a polite, professional conversation, as if she gave a fuck about the meeting. It hurt her pride to have you look so uninterested in her presence, your posture perfectly contained as you took whatever criticism she’d made about your presentation with a neutral face. Of course, you’d exposed your points with excellence, but that wasn’t in the matter anymore: Sana wanted to bring a reaction— anything, out of you… and if she had to use humiliation to get it, then she’d gladly do it.

It was on that very moment, once you were done with your lecture over the potential American shareholders for her Korean-japanese company, that she decided to have you to herself.

Sana had to admit she was a complete jerk, though, being too harsh with you as she gave you her immediate feedback. However, it wasn’t like she was the one to blame for that: it was you who provoked her, trying to act all indifferent and unbothered. You deserved it.

Deep down, Sana knew this wasn’t the simple game she was used to playing whenever people wanted her attention. You genuinely couldn’t care less about her— yes, she was ridiculously hot, but so were thousands of people in your life. Besides, she was too full of herself to your liking.

That aroused her. Secretly pleased her, too.

Still, you didn’t indulge her obvious offense at the conference room, simply nodding and waiting for her employees to leave so you could too.

“I will make sure to take your words further to the shareholders, Mrs Minatozaki. Have a pleasant evening.” You told her, returning her smile with an even more poisonous one.

She could go fuck herself for all you could care.

And so you left, leaving Sana urging to get under your skin and your sheets, the image of your disdained face etched in her brain.

-

Minatozaki Sana made the transactions to the shareholders way more troublesome than and they should have been. The woman made sure you (and she accepted no one else) flew to Seoul a ridiculous amount of times over months to gather little documents, deliver signatures or simply discuss frivolous contract lines that could’ve been solved with 1 hour long online meetings. It delighted her to see you in tight pencil skirts, discussing whatever she problematized as if Sana wasn’t being the biggest bitch on earth. Not once did you complain — not to her, not to her employees, who you’ve made acquaintances with from how often you saw them. Instead, you played along in her game, returning her poisonous stares with equal fire. You were getting paid to travel, attend luxurious hotels and work significantly less, since your bosses had assigned you to focus solely on this specific matter. Sana might be a bitch, but you could sure benefit from it.

In fact, the unbuttoned shirts and the low necklines you wore were all for her. You enjoyed how worked up she got with the minor things you did. You weren’t stupid: you knew she wanted you, and you partly enjoyed teasing her, too. It was only a matter of when. Which was why, when the woman finally asked you out on a date, you shrugged, agreeing on it without much excitement. The contract was almost closed, and you’d finally be free of this terrible city. You hated Seoul: the cold bothered you too much and the people were much more reserved to your liking, a clear contrast to your beloved San Francisco.

She took you to a fancy restaurant (since, naturally, Sana only went to the best.), and you were surprised, perhaps a bit bitter, too, to know that she was a surprisingly interesting woman— not quite the shallow bitch you first thought. She liked art, nature, movies and she listened to you attentively too, not like people would usually do. It was like she actually listened, and you felt completely exposed at her gaze. Soon enough, you’d spent hours talking to her freely, finding yourself enjoying the evening. It was a pleasant surprise, to have a nice night in Seoul for once. Besides, it was only for some fun, and you were pretty convinced she only wanted to get under your panties because you didn’t pay her that much attention ever since the two of you met. You’d soon go back home and forget about it, so why not? She was a pretty and successful woman, after all.

Besides, Sana did know how to fuck a woman, you got to give her that. You let her drive you safely to your hotel, so it was only natural you invited her over for some fun. She fucked you senseless, her big cock thrusting hard and without mercy onto you until your throat was raw from screaming and moaning her name for hours. You hated to admit, but it was indeed the best sex of your life. Only because of that, you decided to accept her request for a breakfast date before you parted to the airport, surprised she was not disinterested after getting the attention she so desperately wanted. Hadn't she proven her point, already?

Thankfully, you’d soon return to San Francisco, and the little rendezvous would soon be just a fun story to tell your friends on a night out. You said your goodbyes to the woman (and of course, you fucked again; as if you’d ever waste the opportunity of having a good fuck. The café’s bathroom was a bit too small, but you made it work. You fell apart at her cock just the same, the intense orgasm shuddering you.) and made your way back home, feeling content to be back.

-

You should’ve known a woman like Minatozaki Sana was not one for leaving things behind. Before you knew it, she was coming to your company personally (to discuss critical matters, she explained, as if you were stupid enough to fall for that), and you found yourself under her once again. You quickly learned the two of you were just about the same: proud, cocky, impatient and spoiled women, both used to getting things your way without much effort. Which was what got her so into you, you think. The chase, the game. Sana enjoyed chasing you, but —and she hated to admit that— she also loved how, you always provoked her back.

You were both fire, fighting just as much as you fucked. Sana was too possessive for her own good, making sure no one even paid you such thing as a light stare. She spared no efforts into humiliating and firing anyone who dared to do so, anyway: You were hers. Her jewel, most prized possession. And she’d make sure every single person knew it. That you were hers only to toy with, love and ruin.

All to herself.

On the other hand, you were just as possessive, engorging her with your bratty and insufferable persona. You just had to have things your way, and you made sure Sana gave you just that. Battling lashes, sweet looks, lusty promises… You’d give her anything to have her completely under your mercy. Every so often, it worked: she’d quickly oblige and do whatever it was that you wished her to. Other days, however, she’d shut you down, making you gag on her cock until the only thing on your mind were a series of phrases that made sure you were reminded of who owned you and who fucked you best.

You were always quick to make Sana the crazy one in your fights with your manipulative persona, rambling to your friends about how possessive she was, as if you weren’t just as crazy. After all, being snobby, full of yourself, impatient and spoiled were all traits you never denied having. You were a menace, a nightmare hidden by long, soft curls and an angelic face. You knew what you wanted, and you’d always do anything to have it. At least Sana made her personality clear, no gaslighting involved. You, on the other hand, thrived on it. On making her look like the crazy one (not that she wasn’t; you just weren’t the angel you so painted to be, either).

She offered you a crazy salary to have you working for her firm, which you repeatedly denied — even if the zeros kept adding. Again, you weren’t fond of Seoul, and the thought of leaving everything behind: your friends, your sisters, California… she’d have to do better than simply coming to your firm and fucking you crazy good until she had to go back to her normal routine, if she wanted you to follow her to a whole other continent.

To which, of course, she did. Sana would spend as much as needed to have the things she wanted, and currently, she wanted you.

After months of romantic getaways, taking you to balls and ceremonies so you’d get to know her employees and investors, massive bouquets handed by your doorsteps daily, talking to your friends and family (the hardest part out of all of it, Sana would always say) so they’d convince you to try out the new opportunity, secretly begging you to join her in Korea every time you were just about to reach your high whenever you fucked… You’ve made her work for it, surely.

Eventually, she won: within a year or so, you had a fancy ring on your left hand— since you’d told her it was either marriage or nothing, and Sana was quick to comply. — and you found yourself moving all the way to Seoul, to join your fiancée and her company.

You finally got to meet her friends and shareholders: they were wary of you, naturally, but were still pretty polite and welcoming. Not that it bothered you; you had better things to worry about than seeking Sana’s childhood girlfriends’ approval. If they didn’t like you, they’d have to talk to Sana about it, and nothing would be done, since the woman was crazy about you. In the end, it didn’t matter.

You did get close to Nayeon and Momo as time went by, though. You worked in the same section, and would often gossip in fancy cafés after work. They were the only ones you genuinely liked in this cold city, the only ones interesting enough for you to listen to. It pleased Sana, to see you putting an effort into being close to her friends, which you enjoyed, too, since you loved to please your fiancée.

Things were working out just fine: you were still adjusting, but slowly learning to enjoy your current life and the newly made changes.

-

It was only natural that you fell into a routine. A few months into the marriage, you and Sana were both too stubborn to sit and talk things out, only presenting each other with confrontations and cold shoulders instead of communicating.

You were constantly mad at her for spending so much time at the company, flirting with her coworkers and being such a whore when she was yours already. Everything irritated you: from the whole floors she’d let you redesign, the outdated furniture and, mostly, all the bastards that worked there and had you competing for her attention, just as you knew she liked it. She was such a bitch, thriving with the feeling of being wanted by many and loving the attention.

Not even having Sana fire her old secretary (that fucking whore who was always presenting herself to your wife) had made that uneasy feeling leave your guts. No matter how hard you worked, how many new places you saw, the itch in your skin wouldn’t go away, never allowing you to truly rest and relax.

So you distracted yourself with other things, much to Sana’s dismay.

In response to getting on your nerves daily, she’d shower you with gifts and affection until you were satisfied enough for your fake pout to go away. You’d fuck, sleep, and the cycle would restart on the next morning.

Oddly enough, you found it comforting. You knew Sana would indulge your wishes, regardless of what other people though about it, and your dynamics provided you with the stability you so desperately—and unknowingly, craved, even if it wasn’t exactly healthy.

-

“I want a child.” You told her one day, sitting idly in her lap as you rearranged the pens on her desk. They were always messed up, stacked in the wrong color order and in the wrong place; too close to Sana’s computer, just waiting for her clumsy hands to drop them.

Sana’s brows furrowed. “Excuse me?”

“I want a baby.” You repeated, scoffing. Sweetly enough, your hands traveled through her neck and hair, trailing wet kisses against her jaw. “Your stupid accountant is even in a license after his wife popped out one. I want it, too. Give it to me.”

Sana laughed at your comment, lifting your chin so you’d look at her properly. She knew it wasn’t good to indulge such behavior, specially since you could be even worse when you wanted to, but she couldn’t deny it: she loved it. Sana could feel her cock getting harder by your pettiness; the way you were always immediately extra sweet to her after being mean to everyone else. All hers, indeed.

“Can’t you wait a little more, love?” She asked you, twirling a strand of hair out of your face. You rolled your eyes even harder, pushing her shoulders to get off her lap. If she wasn’t going to do what you wanted her to, then there was no reason for you to waste your time being in her office at all. Her strong hands flew to your defined waist, though, keeping you in place. “It’ll be summer in just a few months, and you know how crazy things get around here with promotions and overnight meetings, to decide the groups’ comeback strategies.” Sana’s hands squeezed your thighs, making you whine. “Come on, princess. Don’t be mad, ok? I just want to dote on you the best I can. I can fill you up now, though. You’d like that? Want me to breed you full?”

You nodded, eager to have her cum. Soon enough, she had you completely stretched for her; your long, acrylic nails scratching her back without care as she pounded on you so hard her desk ornaments all fell to the ground, the sound of her thrusts echoing loudly through the room. You didn’t care— if anything, you wanted all of her employees and coworkers to know she belonged to you just as much as you belonged to her, too. You hummed with satisfaction as you felt her cum welcome your insides, your pleading forgotten for now.

You’d handle it later. It wasn’t like she ever said no to you anyway.

-

Your wishes died soon enough.

As summer came, Sana’s workload got her so immersed in her job you barely saw her anymore; she left home early and arrived late, always murmuring she was too tired to even talk to you about anything. You knew she wasn’t that busy— you still worked at the same company, no matter how shorter your work hours were compared to hers. She made little to no effort to go to your daily lunch dates, and didn’t even seem fazed by your cold shoulder.

“You should just talk this through.” Nayeon told you, fixing the papers in her desk as she listened to your rambling. “Tell her what’s bothering you, Y/n. I know she’s playing into your game, but Sana’s not an oracle either; you have to tell her how you’re feeling if you want it to work out.”

You sighed, knowing your friend was right, but didn’t follow her advice either way— too proud to talk to your wife. Her indifference stung, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. She refused to indulge in your usual little fights and arguments, too busy with work to focus on your relationship.

You still fucked like rabbits, even though you refused to moan her name— knowing how she specially liked how vocal you were, and she insisted on marking you a little too harshly. It was a tiring cycle, one of not speaking to each other at all, not even about work related stuff, but none of you seemed willing enough to solve it out.

You noticed her coming home even later than usual, disheveled hair and smelling like different perfumes each time. You weren’t stupid: the almost unnoticeable lipstick stains in her shirts were clear evidence of her heavy “work” load. Still, you refused to simply ask for a divorce and move on with your life. You loved Sana, and you’d stay with her, whether it was good for both or not.

She belonged to you, you’d soon remind her of it. Even if it were to make her life a living hell.

-

You didn’t keep your promise. Eventually, your energy drained out, and you were no longer interested in playing the coy game. Nevertheless, you were far from your friends and family, living in a cold, harsh city you openly hated. Without Sana’s warmth, you felt fragile and alone, not quite knowing what to do in your massive—yet empty apartment when you left work each night.

That’s how Momo found you: alone in your living room, a cheap wine in hands and smudged makeup. Momo had never seen you like this, not since you’ve become somewhat friends, sharing the same workplace. She was so used to your confident, manipulative persona she forgot you had feelings as well.

It was on that moment she realized it was all a façade, carefully made to protect your sensitiveness.

You threw yourself in her arms, sobbing on her shoulders for hours before your cries were finally resolved to tiny whimpers and your heartbeat was steady again. Your head hurt badly, and you felt like your body was going to explode, but Momo was patient enough to wait for you to calm down a bit more before talking to you.

As she ruffled your hair to soothe your deep nerves, you took a deep breath before telling her everything: how your relationship was going downhill, how much you hated Seoul and missed California, how lost you felt, and specially, how you couldn’t let Sana go, no matter how much you wanted to. You hadn’t realized how much you simply needed for someone to see completely through you until you felt Momo’s comforting embrace, her soft questions and hums as you just kept on talking and talking.

She was a good listener, letting you talk your heart out before saying how strong-willed you were and how she was pretty much inspired by your powerful aura. Momo told you to take your time with everything— including Sana, and take little steps. Everything was going to turn out just fine, she assured. You nodded at her small speech, thankful to have her by your side, and truly not knowing what you would’ve done if she hadn’t come to your apartment that night.

Which, now that you thought about it further, was pretty odd. Odd of her, to visit your apartment on a late Friday night, knowing you were all alone.

She blushed violently when you pointed that out, stuttering to explain she had noticed the change on your behavior and wanted to make sure everything was alright.

However, you weren’t thinking straight anymore. Pulling her by her necktie, you kissed Momo hard and urgently. She tried to resist it, at first, grabbing you by the shoulders and reminding you this was wrong: you were her best friend’s wife, for God’s sake. You only sighed, though— too lost in pleasure, with your head light and hazed.

You murmured she was right, because she was: this was so dirty, so wrong, but it wasn’t like Sana was not doing the same thing out there, either. You weren’t stupid, and that’s what you reminded Momo, who tried to keep you still in her lap as you pressed your butt into her already hardened cock.

It was the first time you openly acknowledged your wife’s escapades, and you knew Momo was aware of them since the beginning— and still hadn’t told you. You understood, of course: before being your friend, she was Sana’s childhood soulmate and shareholder. She would always be first in Momo’s priorities.

But it gave the raven-haired woman no right to say anything about being in the wrong.

And you were so needy and fucking horny, you couldn’t even think straight. If Momo didn’t fuck you at that very moment, you’d surely get out and find your fun elsewhere.

Her eyes darkened as you told her just that, hands interlocking your wrists above your head as she pinned you down on your lavish sofa. Momo allowed you to slip your tongue in her mouth, moaning when you kept pressing yourself on her, giggling as you taunted her. She gave in, fucking you messily and with a whole amount of guilt as she made your cunt her own personal cumdump.

You felt so good, though. Just as she dreamed of ever since she’s had her eyes on you, on that very first meeting Sana had claimed you as hers. It had been impossible not to.

No matter how much Momo loved and respected her best friend and your relationship, it never kept her from jerking off at the thought of fucking you in every position possible. Not when you always went to work in those shirts that evidenced your perfect breasts, or when you wore shorter, revealing skirts simply because you could, pulling it off flawlessly and with much elegance.

It was so wrong, but she jerked off hard to her dirty thoughts every time.

At this point, Momo’s body moved on its own, desperate to breed and take care of you. She was blinded by pleasure, both hers and yours— with your loud moans and pleads. She knew there would be consequences, but she wouldn’t take it back. Your pussy felt too good, hot and welcoming for her to worry about that.

It could wait. All of it.

At least you though so, rolling your eyes as you reached your high for the first time of the night.

-

It was clear something had changed after that. If you weren’t speaking to Sana before (as you often did, whenever you played your twisted little games), you were actively avoiding her, now; Your eyes would never meet hers, and you’d mumble an excuse to leave the room as soon as she entered any place. You and Momo hadn’t talked about it, either. Neither of you wanting to acknowledge said episode.

What surprised you was your wife’s attentiveness, as she suddenly wanted to clear it all up, calling you to her office after lunch break.

“Something’s wrong.” Her tone was sharp, as she stared right through your soul. You sent her a look just as sharp, eyebrows furrowing in disdain. Long gone was the crying, broken woman of days prior: your impeccable self was as strong as ever.

“Something has been wrong for fucking months, Mrs. Minatozaki.” Sana clenched her jaw at your way of addressing her, your voice dripping venom. However, she knew better than to pick on little things when there was still so much to unravel. So she gulped, trying to stay calm.

“Busy months, indeed.” She answered, with a neutral face.

You rolled your eyes, getting up from your chair. “So I’ve seen.”

“I didn’t give you permission to leave, Y/n.” She said, just as you reached for the door, making you clutch your fingers to keep them from scratching her face nastily.

God, she knew how to get under your skin.

“I don’t need your permission, Sana.” You muttered, gripping hard on the doorknob as you turned around, facing her front. Your bodies were close, making you instinctively try to get some distance, failing as you were already pressed to the door.

“You don’t?” She feigned innocence, her grip tight on your neck like a collar; not yet keeping you from breathing, but her long fingers were sure threatening to do so, running lazily through your neck. “It’s Mrs. Minatozaki to you, dear.”

You left her without an answer, storming out of the room before you had the chance to give in to lust and just fuck your problems out, like always.

-

It surprised you to see her home so early, a nonexistent occurrence in the last few months. Still, you said nothing as Sana entered the bedroom and took out her coat, placing it in her closet. Your eyes are trained on the TV, even though you were no longer paying attention to the program playing— your body was all tensed up, watching her every move from the corner of your eyes.

“So you do know your way home before midnight.” You teased as she turned the tv off, staring at you in the middle of the room with crossed arms, “And here I was, questioning your intelligence.”

Sana scoffed, sitting beside you. She took a deep breath before starting, eyes locked on the ground.

“Those months have been busy at the company. I know I’ve been neglecting you, us, and I’m sorry.” She turns to look at you, and you surprisingly see sincerity in her eyes. “I’ll do better.”

It wasn’t exactly an apology, but you knew it was the best acknowledgement you could get out of her, currently. So you hummed, tracing her clavicle with your fingers.

“I want a better apology, then.” You demanded, even though you allowed her to scoop you up on her lap, trailing kisses through your neck. Your guilt was eating you alive, but you only gulped in hopes to swallow it away; you wouldn’t say anything unless she did it first. “Apologize for leaving me here all alone, when you promised not to.”

You hated how your voice quivered, betraying you to announce to your wife how hurt you truly were. You’d rather to have never met her— this way, you wouldn’t be so heartbroken. By her betrayal, by her broken promises of never leaving you on your own in this new, terrifying city.

Most importantly, you hated how ardently you loved her.

“I’m so, so sorry, my angel.” Sana muttered, kissing you deep each time. Her hands cupped your breasts and you could only think about how much you craved her touch—starved for it for so long, and how much it burned. “I missed you so much. That fucking company will never keep me too busy for you again, I’ll make sure of that. I’ll just fucking remind them who owns it when they start to get on my ass again.”

Her words were filled with sincerity, you could feel it through the way she held you: hard and urgently. You couldn’t stand it anymore, though. It was suffocating, poisonous. You forced yourself off her lap, pushing your body towards the end of the bed as much as you could without falling.

“You’ve been with others.” It wasn’t a question, and Sana knew it. She didn’t deny it, either. The older woman knew you, and you wouldn’t say something like that if you weren’t sure of it.

“I have.” She nodded. It hurt like hell to have her finally admit it, but again: you were no saint, either.

You closed your eyes, playing with your shirt to avoid her gaze. She was staring at you vividly, now. “I have, too.”

The room went quiet, and Sana could swear all the wall colors were red. To think someone had touched you skin, your thighs… your cunt, her cunt. It made her want to burn the whole city down.

How dare someone fucking touch you, her angel. Her fucking wife.

“Who?” She asked just as quietly, but you knew better than to be relaxed at her passiveness. You knew how Sana’s cold, calculating posture was a hundred times worse than her explosive tantrums.

You are to blame. you wanted to yell at her, shaking her by the shoulders until you lost your energy.

I know. she’d answer. But so are you.

A broken marriage, indeed.

“Momo.” At least you felt like you were a thousand pounds lighter, even though Sana’s stare was strong enough to set the whole Seoul on fire. You waited for her to say something, anything, but the silence remained. “Are we over, then?”

Your tone was frail, filled with uncertainty. Despite it all, the last thing you wanted to do was let go of her. Your eyes were glistening with tears as you felt her arms embracing you again, trying to take deep breaths to keep yourself from crying. If the first tears fell, you knew it wouldn’t be long until you were sobbing hard.

“I was serious on our wedding day, angel.” She said, her tone calm as she caressed you hair, ever so gently. “I’m not letting you go, and this won’t break us apart.” Sana kissed your tears away, murmuring against your neck. “We’ll start again, ok? With no lack of communication, distance or cheating between us. I’ll commit to you, completely, just as you’ll commit to me, too. I won’t fail us anymore.” She looked you in the eyes, lifting your chin up. “What do you think?”

Your hiccups could be heard through all the apartment as you nodded, kissing her with love. Your relationship was doomed and so very broken, but you were determined to fix it up.

And you knew Sana was, too.

“I’d like that, yes.” She smiled as you shared another kiss, with her almost swallowing you whole as she whispered how much she loved you and how hard she missed you.

You fucked until morning, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, you were glad to wake up to your wife by your side. Your heart no longer burned with her absence or with guilt, and you were both determined to fix all of the mess with new beginnings.

Sana would have to talk to Momo about what had happened, though.

-

“I have something.” Sana looked at you from her desk, confused. You were smiling brightly, which made her relieved, but she still couldn’t figure out what was going on.

Months passed since you had decided to give your marriage another chance, and it was actually more than ok. You were putting an effort into telling her whenever something made you upset— no matter how small and frequent the situations were. You were spoiled and one prone to conflicts, after all. — and Sana cut her work hours significantly after summer ended, with the plans for JYP’s groups’ comebacks being successfully concluded. Her flirting resumed, too, as did your provocations with her coworkers and employees. You were trying, both of you.

And you were finally happy after so many gloomy months.

“Ok…” She asked, turning her computer off as she motioned for you to continue. You placed a small box in front of her, giggling like crazy.

“It’s a gift.” You clarified, with Sana inspecting the box like it was going to explode at any given moment. It was rare for you to gift her something: she was usually the one doting on you constantly, just as both of you loved it.

“For me?” You were getting impatient with her shaking and feeling up the damn box, but let her have the moment.

“For us,” With your brows furrowed, you corrected her, “Although it was something I asked you for long ago.”

Finally, Sana opened your gift, revealing a small pair of shoes and a stick with two red lines marked up. Her mouth hung in a perfect “O” as she stared at your stomach, looking for a bulge that was still too small to notice.

“That’s…” She was still at a loss for words as she got up to hug you, lifting you up form the ground. “Are you happy, my angel? Is it what you want?”

You laughed, suffocated by her kisses. “I’m very happy. I’ve really, really wanted this for a long time, Sana.” You stopped her mouth from brushing your skin again to take a proper look at her face. God, she was so gorgeous. “Are you happy? Because if you don’t want a baby right now that’s ok, we can—“

“I’m in heaven, beautiful.” Sana gave you her brightest smile, glowing as much as you were. Her hands were evolving your waist, and she leaned to mutter against your belly. “I can’t wait to start a family with you. I love you so, so fucking much.”

You hugged her again, happy to have her by your side.

“I love you, Mrs. Minatozaki.” You teased her, laughing freely as she twirled you around her massive office.

“I love you more, angel.”

-

“Ben, please don’t run—agh!” You yelled at the energetic little boy. Four and a half, almost five years old, now. He pretended not to listen, though, trying to wriggle out of your touch to go back to terrorizing the guests. “Baby, please tell him not to run? He’ll fall like that, and it won’t be pretty. You know it.”

Sana smiled at your whiny voice, pecking your lips as she ruffled the little boy’s hair (earning herself another hard glare. You’d spent so long fixing his raven hair with gel at home.) with affection. “You heard your mom, bud. Save your energy for later, ok? We can play videogames when we get home if you manage to stay awake.” Your son’s eyes sparkled at the promise, making you roll your eyes and Sana giggle. He obviously wouldn’t make it, but the thought of being allowed to do something that was usually strictly forbidden was enough to get him to calm down, steady in his mother’s arms.

It was JYP’s New Years’ event, the big ballroom adorned with white and grey ornaments. Everyone seemed to have attended, this year: the place was already massive, yet it seemed cramped with the amount of people. Workers, idols, partners… everyone was apparently enjoying themselves, with lots of food and a sweet, along with some calming background music to soothe the nerves.

Sana walked around the place, greeting and making small talk with so many people she lost track of time. Being the CEO and biggest shareholder had its perks, surely, but having to waste such time she could use to be with her little family wasn’t one one them. The woman only relaxed when Dahyun scooped to her side, allowing her to sigh in relief.

“Not having fun, unnie?” She teased, nudging her friend.

“I don’t know how you do this so flawlessly, Dahyun-ah.” She complained, eyes darting around the room to look for you. Sana smiled when you tossed her your champagne glass from afar, on the other side of the ballroom chatting with a very excited Nayeon and Momo.

“It’s one of my many qualities.” Dahyun shrugged confidently, making them both laugh.

The woman caught sight of her son once again, now accompanied by a few of her employees’ children as well, as they ran through the waiter’s legs and almost made the poor man fall to the ground. They muttered apologies and extensive bows, but soon returned to run and giggle as the waiter dismissed them.

“He’s so tall already,” Sana complained, scrunching her nose. “I swear he’ll be taller than me before he even turns ten.”

“He will.” Her friend agreed, smiling at the little boy. “If he doesn’t get too tall, though, then he’ll have at least one thing similar to you.” Dahyun teased, smiling. Sana smiled back, too, even though hers didn’t quite reach her eyes. Dahyun didn’t seem to notice. “With his hair dark like this and that sneaky smile, he looks so much like…” she paused, trying to think of someone. “like Momo! Oh Sana, don’t you think? He’s exactly like her, all distracted and clumsy but so caring and loving. One would think they’re the ones related, instead of you or Y/n.”

Sana’s mouth tasted bitter, with her thoughts running inside her head at a hundred miles per hour. Dahyun couldn’t possibly know, but it wasn’t like she was lying, either. If Sana thought about it further, her son looked exactly like Momo, specially at this age. They all grew up together; of course Sana remembered her friend’s appearance and mannerisms.

And they were the copy of her son.

“Yes,” She answered, taking two drinks from the nearest waiter and downing them in one gulp. She tried to look for you in the crowd once again, but you were long gone, lost in the sea of people gathering in the middle of the dance floor. “You’re completely right, Dahyun.”

Momo had some explaining to do. And you did, too.

[sscieloz]

that being said requests r open!!!

just deleted all my asks sorry

[sscieloz]

just deleted all my asks sorry

[sscieloz]

me and sophia have so much in common

[sscieloz]

long live cowgirls | sophia laforteza

synopsis: trying to divorce your wife has been disrupted by the sudden reveal of an evil outsider plotting on the demise of your marriage. you and sophia try navigating what you mean to each other despite nearly clawing each other apart...

pairing: (ex-ish) wife!sophia x cowgirl!reader

tags: angst, slow-burn, fluff, g!p reader (don't like, don't read), alcohol, mentions of rehab, tension, marriage troubles, cheating but also not really cheating, slight religious themes, cowboys/cowgirls, a-list-celebrity!sophia, manon, more…

wc: 7.4k

(part 1, part 2)

there’s two things sophia wants more than anything else in the world.

for thomas moore to be sent to hell and disintegrate.

for you to stop looking so hot.

now, sophia’s not one to make statements that were false, at least not if she could help it. but the way you kept cooing and tossing anna into the air, pretending to drop her. instead gracefully swinging her kid around both made her want to smack you upside the head and messily kiss you.

she couldn’t decide.

her mind was going crazy. crazy for a piece of you. maybe it was all the damning feelings coming back like an open waterfall or maybe you were so damn hot that sophia had to contain her desires.

it wasn’t like she was advertising wanting another kid. no. seriously, anna was more than enough for now.

but the way you keep flashing that million dollar smile and would make anna chase sophia. it clenched her heart too hard, and maybe even somewhere else.

and you were considerate above everything. the last couple years have been hard on both of you, eating at the love that once blossomed so unabashed, you were hers and she was yours. truly and indefinitely, until she made her biggest life regret, disappearing from your life.

a part of her still feels the guilt gnawing at her bones. trying to solidify in her soul that she’s an unworthy partner. the hurt, the turmoil, the unnecessary torment. all of it had hit sophia like a truck, nothing truly mattered more to her when the nights got cold and her heated mansion couldn’t contain the chilly feeling of loneliness.

it was painful, returning to a world where she promised herself she was going to become something, only to be squashed by none other than the evilness that permeated the industry. lara had warned her, signing to big name agency had all the glamour and networks to get you where you wanted. but you had to pay the hefty price of losing yourself in the process.

sophia doesn’t know how she can even regain that feeling of being invincible again. crushed like a roach under thomas’ snobby rich trust fund kid lifestyle.

but a little piece of her was hopeful, she kept the waves of hopelessness and misery at bay for her only daughter, born out of pure love and the desire to preserve something true to her real self.

her love for you.

and truthfully, that was all she needed, but God and his works had a way of redefining sophia and your future. and bless lara’s soul, she always stood ten toes behind sophia, they understood each other fundamentally.

lara admired the softness that was the undertone of sophia’s character. behind the sharp and obsessive want to become a well known actress was a girl who begged to play in local theatres and sing her heart to anyone who would hear. they were born from the same cloth, but held different personalities.

even when sophia let it all out one night, in her drunken stupor, bottle in hand and waterproof mascara barely holding her face together. sophia had spilled everything, how she left you behind. it was the one piece of sophia that lara could never place.

often begging sophia to tag along for double dates or nights out at the club. sophia never let anyone close enough, even with the charismatic smiles of men and women. or the more confident athletes who vied for her attention, it didn’t seem to make her eyes divert at all.

lara couldn’t tell if she was hung up on somebody or truly had let go of dating. and when questioned, her answers were elusive and dismissive at best. of course in her all too charming way too.

but one night, a particular night after several weeks of sophia’s disappearance. lara had asked the right question, and it made everything flow out of sophia.

like a confessional booth, lara sat there like a holy priest. watching and listening to sophia sob through the pain of being torn away from you.

it had offered an insight into sophia’s previous life, and despite everything, lara stuck by her side. she knew what sophia had gone through were the horror stories that people heard about online.

the pursuit of becoming a star with puppet strings bound to your hands and mouth. every word and action, monitored and controlled by another person.

with the conviction of being a fiercely loyal best friend, lara had set in stone a plan to set her best friend free.

the three phase takedown that was thomas moore’s entire career and life.

phase I:

blind item #2

This big shot director’s son is pulling daddy’s name and connection with a A+ list actress to coerce her into a divorce from her hidden spouse. and the reason? said son is securing his fortune by marrying this actress and hiding that he never went to rehab. A+ list actress has since disappeared from the starlight to settle her messy divorce, rumors of a hidden child?

it clearly wasn’t the best gossip piece sophia’s heard of herself. but it was tacky enough to garner the attention of hundreds of people online to talk.

the “anonymous” send in was led by lara pr manager and sophia’s manager. both using this as a tester for how the public would react, and it seems most were empathetic towards the mysterious actress.

and then lara started leaking photos to different gossip columns, different photos for each team. it was efficient this way, no one point to trace to, and lara was smart.

she had already utilized her PR team to deal with needy gossip columns. each leaving up to 50 voicemails asking who this mystery pairing was.

lara didn’t care if it eventually all lead back to her, as long as the effect wasn’t in vain. and as the weeks came, lara became more confident in her actions. then she started leaking some information, summarizing thomas’ hidden reality and his manipulative ways.

it almost blew up in lara and sophia’s face. thomas immediately got antsy when a tmz segment came out, dropping possible names that fit the description and he was brought up.

the tmz crew were tossing random names out, pictures were floating around the internet. and slid into the hands of tmz. lara knew he would go under soon.

and so he did, he watched the segment in horror. the second he heard his name spoken in the clip he vibrated like a chihuahua in fear. fear and anger consumed him, throwing the tablet and smashing the screen.

immediately dialing sophia’s number.

“the fuck did you do?” his voice was heavy, like a gong that hit against your ears.

“hello thomas, to what do i owe the pleasure?” sophia was sitting at brunch with lara. both girls went quiet when they saw the name flash on sophia’s phone. a reminder that he was still very present and aware of their every move.

“pleasure? there’s no pleasure in what you’re trying to do here. the blind item. you did this.” he continued to let out his venomous tone, dripping with malice and disgust. “you’re leaking everything aren’t you? you whore. of course you would, trying to ruin someone like me. i have the wo-”

“thomas, please, save the self entitled speech for someone else. you sure it wasn’t one of your supermodel bimbos?” sophia scoffed, and lara rapidly started jotting down comments on a napkin.

deflect and distract. stab at his ego. lara pointed with her pen, and sophia nodded. continuing to listen to his tyrannical venting.

“and i know its you, only you would want to ruin my hard work. it’s so clear that you’re jea-”

“you’re so full of yourself, i have no clue what you’re talking about.” sophia played her best nonchalant neutral tone as possible, pulling the acting skills to mask the anxiousness.

lara continued to nod, repeatedly pointing at the text on the napkin. underlining deflect several times.

“sophia, no one knows about me not going to rehab.” he bit out. “you’re the only one that knows, so of course you leaked it. i’m going to sue you for defam-”

“i’m going to stop you right there. you even try to sue me for defamation over something that didn’t happen, and i’ll drag you five rounds of litigation like you fought rocky.” sophia bit back, she wasn’t the best at listening to commands and she sure as hell wasn’t going to be intimidated by this fool of a man. “and you will lose.”

“you fucking bitch, after everything i did for you. you want to sue me?” the shock in his voice was evident, the anger and frustration still amped up.

“yeah, try me, i dare you. one misstep and it all comes crashing down. don’t ever call me again.”

“is that a threat?” he narrowly throws out.

“not a threat, a warning.” and with that sophia hits the red button. to say she was anxious was an understatement. she hadn’t expected him to catch up until much later. but of course his lega-no, his dad’s legal team were the top of the line. letting thomas moore jr. fail meant a disgrace on thomas moore sr.’s work and effort.

and shit, sophia did not want to deal with thomas moore sr.

“lara i feel like i’m going to puke.” sophia leaned back in her chair, trying to calm her nerves. taking a sip of her water to stabilize herself. the last thing she needed was to be seen having a meltdown in the middle of a restaurant.

“hey, come on, breathe and relax. it’s all going to be okay sophie.” lara puts her hand over sophia, calming her down in the process.

there was still this terror within sophia, one that she knew came from the constant monitoring from thomas, the fear that he could take everything away from her.

he could take you, anna, her acting. all of it could be stripped from her if she misstep or said something too bold. and even with the weariness of what he’ll do next, sophia had begged to God, prayed that whatever happened next would bring her happiness.

the rest of the meal went smoothly, lara spoke lightly of the legal team she was pulling together in the slim chance thomas went crazy and did decide to drag sophia down with him.

sophia tried stomaching the rest of her meal, a slight weight lifting off her crushed soul.

--

“hi anna, want to see something?” you had toyed with a play horse in front of anna. her grabby hands reaching for it and snatching it from you. clearly more interested in it than you.

anna made a noise of content when she began smashing the horses against each other. clearly delighted in the destruction of the horses.

you grabbed one too, slamming it into another horse, watching anna squeal out of pure happiness. a little worried that you were teaching her that violence was okay.

so instead you patiently placed the horses together, pretending they were clopping together in tandem. anna flickers her eyes between the horses and you, curiosity burning.

she had your gaze, it almost felt like looking at a mirror. and sometimes it scared you how real this all was. you had a daughter, with the same woman that stole your heart all those years ago.

and anna was everything, she was bright and funny in her toddler way. constantly trying to explore the world around her. especially the kitchen, trying her hardest to steal snacks when she could.

so here you were, sat in sophia’s large mansion, filled with decor that costed more than your entire life savings. taking care of a daughter that you wanted desperately to know and live with. and sophia let you, so you pushed.

maybe it was always easier to sleep knowing sophia was close. you didn’t have as many nightmares that woke you up from anxiety. the calmness that continued to stay as long as you stayed slept near her.

moving out of the presidential suite was easy, you had little luggage, it was more of the reality that you would be moving into sophia’s place.

temporarily of course.

both of you didn’t say it openly, but the way she kept lingering when the night talks got long, the way she continued to cook for you even if you offered.

how laundry got mixed together, and she naturally bought you a toothbrush and moved her bathroom products to one side of the counters.

she never let you stay too far either, with a big mansion you could have any bedroom, even one far away from hers but she didn’t let you. she claimed that checking on anna in the middle of the night would be easier if you were nearby. how she felt safer if you were closer.

it was a slight twist of the truth, she wanted you closer than just a bedroom away. she wanted you next to her, safely tucked under her arms. away from the evil crutches that wanted to destroy what you two “had”.

but you didn’t cross that boundary, it was better this way, close enough to know that deep down you two were still very much in love. but the safety of still having a way out if she were to completely destroy you once more.

it was a love that was resurfacing. both of you offering a way in but not swinging the door wide open.

anna continued to play throughout the afternoon, dragging you upstairs where she had her favorite books and stuffed toys. it was cute, your daughter was so cute. excitement at introducing you to all her plushies. and in the corner of her bedside table was a photo.

it was you, sophia and anna huddled together, way early on when you first learned about anna. you were busy smiling and looking at anna with adoration blooming that you didn’t even notice sophia staring fondly at you two. only anna with her wide smile facing the camera.

sophia must have set it up, a reminder that this was anna’s family. that you were sophia’s other mother.

night quickly fell, and anna had fallen asleep mid reading a book. well, more like pointing and laughing at the pictures and flipping through them repeatedly.

and with a yawn you left the room, leaving her night light on and the door slightly ajar. you spent the rest of the time waiting for sophia to get home. apparently talks had gone long in sophia’s team about how to deal with thomas.

you abhorred the man, how cruel he was to tear sophia away from you. how he used his power for evil and manipulation. it wasn’t just the conversation the morning after. it was the long nights filled with white wine and spilled feelings and fears that drove your hatred like a nail in the coffin.

the man dripped with malice. his heart turned black with a mind that churned ideas that he deserved greatness. he deserved the bows at his feet. he deserved to be revered as more than thomas moore sr’s son. and worse he believed he was never in the wrong.

each action or inaction against sophia made him revel in his power, that it was his birthright to subject people to his whims and desires. and he basked in the results, seeing sophia heartbroken and still under his clutches made him laugh with glee.

and the lack of support that sophia had, it made you so powerless. you weren’t her proud wife who didn’t take shit from everyone. you weren’t the brazen cowgirl from new mexico that had a quicker shot than anyone down south. the brash woman that would’ve taken care of thomas moore with so much as a whisper had he said something unpleasant to your wife.

you felt the shame build, from the lack of presence as a parent to anna, to the woe is me mindset that made you blind to sophia’s looming puppet master. everything grew to be too much, you internalized the feelings, not sure where to direct them but sophia still sat with you. explained each feeling of distress with calm energy and a soft hand resting atop of your shaky ones.

she wasn’t going to let you take the blame for the wrongdoings of a man that overstepped his power.

weeks gone by and you convinced yourself that it wasn’t your doing. that you didn’t shove her further into the arms of a man that had nothing but pure evil in his soul.

a sudden voice pulled you from your thoughts, sophia with tired but warm eyes coming into your view.

“hi, i’m home.” she walked in, plopping her bag on top of the kitchen counter. you hadn’t expected her, still stirring your pot of soup. adjusting the taste with a slight pinch of salt.

she smiled at how cute you looked in her pink strawberry apron. a slight mess on the counters but she could tell you were trying. smudges of random sauce on your cheeks.

she crosses the kitchen, grabbing a small towel, dabbing off the sauce and watching your goofy smile glow. you always had a penchant for sophia doing small favors for you.

“hi fia, long day?” you let her arms drop to her sides. her eyes aren’t as sharp, but she still watches you with admiration.

“yeah, legal team’s been building up a case, it’s like they’re ready for war.” sophia continues to watch you, an old habit she had when days were long on the ranch and all she wanted was your comfort.

“i’m glad they are. that piece of shit should die. now go sit, i cooked dinner for us.” you ushered her away, watching her drop into a chair, exhaustion deep set in her mind. she needed a drink and probably deep sleep at this point.

“how was anna today? give you any problems?” sophia absentmindedly start clearing the table, shuffling some mail over.

you grabbed a bowl of soup for sophia, setting it down in front of her. immediately releasing the tension from her shoulders, clearly held together with frustration and exasperation for hours on end.

“she was amazing, kept wanting to learn about horses and made me sit when she read her books.” you offered a recount of the day, the long hours spent between playing and cooking for your daughter.

sophia laughed and inquired with each particularly funny moment. it felt…domestic. perhaps a flash of a possible life that was meant to be.

you two continued to talk through dinner, spanning from discussions of you selling your ranch, and buying a ranch not too far from sophia’s place.

at most an hour drive out the city, and it reminded her how real this was all becoming.

you had made quick plans to transfer over your ranch and possessions over. it took up much of your time, traveling between the two states and a fatigue that sank into your body, but your heart had never been so open before. a frequent reminder that sophia wasn’t divorcing you out of hatred. she still deeply loved you, cared like she held herself to the vows she made to you, under God.

you vowed to try too, giving small bits of your heart again, in small gestures of light compliments. it was treading the line of affection without placing your heart on an open target.

and sophia didn’t push, she didn’t ask when conversations got hard and you shut down.

when sophia reached for you, searching for reassurance of a love that once was, you offered it the best way you could. the best way someone could offer love with a mangled past and an even more complicated factor of being parents.

cooking dinner, setting aside time for anna: all of it was a physical reminder that you cared. you wanted to work out the mess of a relationship that was yours and sophia’s.

but truly it was your and sophia’s relationship. not yours, sophia and thomas. not your, sophia and the public’s relationship. you and her with the addition of anna, your beloved daughter.

that night sophia gave you a kiss on the cheek before disappearing into her bedroom, a slight flush of the cheeks when she could tell it caught you off guard.

both of you haven’t set the record straight about your relationship. but you could tell in due time, it would all work out.

--

phase II:

it was quick and it was sudden, especially intentional to give no time for him to prepare. lara’s avenger level legal team had pulled together records, text messages, recordings, photo evidence, copies of contracts. anything and everything that was even remotely incriminating.

they threw it all on the table. and as thomas moore was lounging in his malibu mansion, a glass of wine in hand, he walked to the end of his driveway.

a sleek black suburban parked right outside his gated home. he opened the gate, excited to get his brand new car. when he realized suddenly, this wasn’t that. in fact it was the second spell of disaster for him.

“sir, are you thomas moore?” the man had a thick accent, standing roughly at 6’4 and a simple black and white suit, sunglasses pressed up against his nose bridge.

“i am, how can i help you?” the last time thomas got visited by a burly tall man, he had nearly signed away his house to get out of gambling debt, not before shoving a couple cases of cash he had withdrawn from his daddy’s bank account.

“you’ve been served.” and then he shoved a manila folder into his hand.

a sudden outrage piercing through his head.

“you’re fucking joking.” thomas ripped apart the folder, the burly man already walking away from him. driving away from the house quickly.

and with a quick read of the front paper, he immediately dialed sophia’s number.

the number you are trying to reach is unavailable.

throwing his glass against the ground, the shards all shattered on the asphalt. he couldn’t contain his anger, letting it boil over and explode out.

meanwhile, sophia was in her head, all of the moments leading up to today was grueling and tiresome. she had barely anytime to herself between magazine shoots and interviews.

and with the growing demands of the public, she felt like she was spread thin. pulled tight like a rubberband, ready to snap at one more pull. but in an instant she relaxed.

it was a small gesture. something small that had caused the collapse of all the tension held tightly in between sophia’s shoulders.

you strolled into her office, cool and a light smile on your face. and sophia relaxed instantly at the sight, you held a bag in your hand, calmly grabbing an extra chair and sitting next to her.

“hope you don’t mind me joining you.” you flashed her a warm grin as you began opening the bag. placing sandwiches onto her office table and water as well. sophia smiled at the gesture, she hadn’t eaten all day. forgotten breakfast as she rushed out the door to get more paperwork filled out.

“is this supposed to be a date?” sophia chuckled lightly, watching you unwrap her sandwich and place a small napkin by her side. and then opening your own sandwich.

“could be, would you like this to be a date?” you couldn’t help but lean in close, trying to taunt her with your eyebrows, raised and wiggling in front of her. she burst into laughter, pointing at you like the laughing stock before settling for eating her sandwich instead.

you pout a bit, wanting to hear her say yes, but instead she continues to eat her sandwich.

“fia,” you whine a bit, scooting closer to her. it’s comical how desperate you are for an answer, nudging and sliding your leg next to hers. “is this a date?”

sophia just nods, still chewing on her sandwich, watching you relax into your chair. letting out a dramatic sigh of relief before giggling out loud.

“you’re going to have to do more than sandwiches and water for this to be a serious date though.” sophia cocks one eyebrow as she watches you unveil something else from the bag.

“i knew you would say that so i prepared this for us.” and you pulled out a booklet, it was a surprise gift you were planning on giving to sophia before she left.

but now, given everything that’s transpired. you feel renewed to show her something that was crafted from you, a gift from you to her.

it was a collage book of your photos. spanning from early day photos of you two when you weren’t dating yet. hidden glances at each other and an itch to get closer together. to photos of you two at bonfires together, sophia wearing your flannel and your bracelet with her initials tied around your wrist. to the day you two got married, gorgeous smiles and warm love exuding from the photos.

at some point, sophia grabbed your hand, stopping you from explaining the next one. holding onto it as she tried not to cry, you instead turned to wipe off the tears. giving her hand a careful squeeze, and dipping down for a kiss and she continued to cry into the kiss.

she eventually wrapped her arms around your shoulders. hugging you tightly as lunch was forgotten. and as time continued, you offered her light kisses as she played with your wedding band. dipping down to kiss it gently.

--

phase III:

eventually it came out that thomas had been blackmailing sophia for his personal gain. the paparazzi swarmed his and her house like flies. each reporter trying to capture even a glimpse of the two people. and you swore you never felt as protective of sophia before.

hiding her and anna at your house while news headlines spread like wildfire. lara did her best to direct the attention to thomas, denying commenting on the scandal of the year.

and then the court hearings started. sophia was stuck in courtrooms for hours, and when things got hard you held her like she was all that mattered. offering her comfort and a listening ear when she wanted to vent.

then you got subpoenaed to the stand. thomas involvement in your and sophia’s “divorce” came to light in court. you did your best to give the best account that you could. how he showed up to your ranch, tracking sophia down and forcing her to leave with him.

the defendant tried, they really did. trying to paint your relationship as one that was already dying, that his involvement was nothing more than a mere coincidence. you nearly wanted to shout at the defense, what they were insinuating was disgusting and cruel.

the defense didn’t get the riled up and unstable account that they were hoping for. instead you stood firmly behind your words, speaking them for what they were. letting reality do its talking and reminding everyone who the true villain was.

and sophia tried not to cry in your arms when you both went home. this case was clearly affecting her more than she’d like to admit. she only hoped the jury saw the truth to her misery.

but at the end of the night, when both of you were spent from the long day at court, you held her closely, soft kisses to her forehead as she slept deeply in your arms. a reminder of how you once were who she ran to when things got hard.

and within the span of weeks, the world had lifted its weight from sophia’s shoulder. the jury had decided and the decision went in sophia’s favor. the courtroom erupted in claps as thomas’ head hung low.

sophia could be free from him and his clutches, no longer was she almost close to losing you and her acting career. and to top it all off thomas would never be able to step even near her ever again.

sophia swear she could see the world looking prettier by the end of it. waltzing out of the courtroom with her head held high and paparazzi swarming the steps outside. what people didn’t expect to see was you.

hand held firmly with sophia’s, strongly pulling her towards the car, away from the shouting crowd and bright flashes. hat tipped down and an arm blocking out from anyone was too close.

“fia, stick close to me.” you pulled her in closer, arm wrapped around hers in an attempt to protect her from the swarming hands. one nearly got to her, another almost knocked their camera in her face. so you quickly crossed the red carpet, bringing her into the big car.

the door quickly closing behind you two as flashes still tried to capture photos of you two behind tinted windows. reality is that sophia was tired. grew tired of not being able to call you hers in public, strangled by thomas’ control, and the worry of the opinions of others. but sophia was over it.

she needed the world to know that you were proudly hers, and she was proudly yours. and in the span of seconds, social media began flying out with posts about you two. everyone questioning who the mysterious cowgirl was. paparazzi was running headlines like crazy, ever the devil’s advocate.

exploring possible hidden truths of who you were and why you were close to sophia. people were swarming the internet, making comparisons of old photos of sophia and the truth started popping up.

instead you held her hand as the car rolled along the road, giving small squeezes of reassurance as sophia’s manager and media time continued to manage the spark of the scandal of the year. it didn’t matter how much sophia was the one on that was hurt throughout the unveiling of the lawsuit. there would always be vultures, excited to tear through every bit of her, from her appearance, to her character, and even what she chose to wear.

so she kept her head clear, choosing instead to keep away from the internet during this difficult time. even when her phone was definitely blowing up from acquaintances and colleagues checking in on her.

exactly 1 hour after leaving the courthouse, sophia had planned her announcement of your relationship with her,

masterfully she instead released one singular post.

two photos.

first was an old photo of you two when you first got married, cheeks wide from the joy of tying the knot.

second was a more recent photo, a photo of you two riding buckeye and honey and anna sitting in front of you. running along the water and hats sat tightly on top.

with a red heart emoji and a ring emoji, added with a caption of “with my forever cowgirl, love you to the end of time”

the post nearly broke the internet, hardcore fans speculating the identity of the mysterious woman that had made her way onto the instagram of this A list actress. comments flooded the post, people were reposting and sharing the post like it was hot potatoes. it was exhilarating and insanely redeeming to be able to freely announce the love of her life to the public.

to not live in fear of losing you, and rebuilding a relationship that stood the test of time and trust you had for each other.

--

the gentle lull of the windchimes continued to ring in the early morning. you were busy rocking anna in your arms, the young toddler had tired herself out playing with charlie all day yesterday. dedicated herself to walk all the perimeters of the ranch with charlie by her side. you laughed when anna came back with her report. a small salute from her before disappearing into the ranch house.

she looked so much like sophia, it warmed your heart. but her eyes were all yours, the familiar wild eyes that always wanted to explore, curiosity that was hard to tame.

she was going to be a tough one, if she had any of your fire or drive.

you continued to rock her, occasionally brushing the hair out of her face, the warm sunrise keeping you company. charlie was busy swishing his tail, yawning every so often.

you eventually got up, tucking her into her bed, placing a gentle kiss across her forehead. she was a heavy sleeper like sophia, had to poke and prod her until she finally would comply with the morning routine. so you let her doze off again, this time hugging her plushie tightly to her chest.

after, you descended down the stairs. pulling your boots and holster on. like clockwork charlie was waiting outside, tongue lolling out as he happily trotted next to you. he knew that anna sleeping meant it was work time.

you gave him a light pat on the side before opening the chicken coop. peering in to check for eggs and anything that looked out of place. the chickens were already clucking loudly near you, one trying to peck at your boots.

you laughed a bit, side-stepping the chicken and checking the troughs for enough feed. taking a hose to fill with water in the many pails that stood in the chicken coop.

charlie was busy chasing one chicken, he loved chasing that one. you had an inkling that he didn’t like the way it would look at him. eventually you walk away, grabbing the pail and setting it on the outside.

then a car honk got your attention. head snapping up and a smile broke out on your face. the familiar sight of the red jeep in front. you walked up to the car, pearly whites shining when you leaned into the car, windows rolled down and a hand reaching out to touch your arm.

“anything i can help you with ma’am?” you asked with amusement in your voice, taking your cowboy hat off, tilting it a bit.

“sure can, can i get my morning kiss?” she smiled as she took off her sunglasses, grabbing you with the front of your shirt, pulling you into a messy kiss.

hm, she missed you?

you smiled against the kiss, capturing her lips in yours. she pulled at your hair a bit, liking the way you kept going for me, like you couldn’t get enough from her.

you pull away, much to her disapproval.

“hi fia, good morning.” you unlock the door, taking her hand as she hopped out the jeep.

“good morning to you too, you look good.” she eyed your shirt, more fitted and tight around your torso, a gift from her from last weekend. she lightly touched the fabric with her manicured fingers, light touches dancing across your body.

“yeah? what do you like about it?” you shake your head, offering an easy smile. you lean into the car, killing the ignition and locking the car. swiftly turning around to her already waiting for you. a warm smile on her face when you opened your hand for her.

“that i bought it.”

she slides her hand into yours, giving it a light squeeze as she walks with a grin on her face.

“well all the more compliments to you then.”

you both walked up to the ranch house, hand in hand with charlie making light yips as he tried climbing on sophia’s legs. begging for pets and then eventually waiting by the ranch door. you push open and let sophia and charlie in.

a slight wait as you watched her, not knowing that she could feel your gaze on her. you close the door behind, trailing after her as she went straight to anna’s room. charlie continued to pad against the floor, deciding now was a good time to chase after his own tail.

you follow sophia into anna’s room. sophia sitting on the bed, lightly brushing the hair out of her face. adjusting the blanket and singing a lullaby to her as she tapped against her hand.

it was everything you wished for, and you were here to see it. you sat down as well, and sophia gave you a warm smile. you leaned closer, resting your head atop of sophia’s shoulders.

“tired?” she let your hands wrap around her in a tight hold. and you gave a silent nod, happy to have her so close, it felt like home.

sophia couldn’t help herself, placing a gentle kiss at your temple and leading you out the room.

“i think she’s growing up too fast.” you mention to sophia quietly, following her downstairs into the living room. she gives you an inquisitive look, urging you to continue.

“why do you say that?” she settles onto the couch, grabbing her bag and shuffling through the flaps, pulling out a manila packet from her bag.

“yesterday she told me she found old tapes of me bull riding when i was younger. told me she wanted to try it out.” you continued to stare into the ceiling, thinking about the passage of time as well as how far life has come.

“i think she looks up to you,” sophia eventually pulls out a stack of paper, setting it on the coffee table. “it’s sweet, she sees you as a superhero.”

“it’s sweet but i want her to grow up like you.”

“like me?” sophia cocked an eyebrow.

“you know, smart and ambitious.” you admit quietly, it was a growing feeling in your chest. how you wanted anna to be someone who would shine. even if it wasn’t acting, you wanted her to have sophia’s grit and perseverance.

“you don’t think you’re smart and ambitious?” sophia realized what this was about. how you always shied away from talking about your hopes and dreams, opting instead to hear her talk about it.

it made you feel small at times, a lack of direction or goal. you didn’t have this overtly grand dream, you just wanted to be with sophia, growing together and living your lives together.

“sometimes, i wish i was more ambitious.” you explain, slightly adjusting yourself on the couch. “like i wish i did more with my life.”

“do what?”

“i wish i stuck with bull riding and went nationally.” you can feel sophia’s gaze as she observes everything. the slight fidget or how your fingers tap against your buckle.

“did you forget that you almost died?” she leaned in, soft fingers that found comfort on the side of your face. a reminder that she almost lost you once, to a bull that bucked too hard at the wrong time.

almost trampling you in the process, broken and bruised ribs, fractures that ran through your ragged body. she was by your bedside every moment she had, helping you recover at the time.

“i’ll never forget that, but i still…i wish i did more.” you give a grunt and nod, sliding down the couch more, feeling the tiredness kicking in. “it was just a silly thought, don’t pay any attention to it.”

you always had a way of exiting the conversation when feelings got too strong. an exit strategy when your feelings ran deeper than you’d like to admit.

wanting to divert your attention, sophia taps your leg,

“hm?”

“i’m thinking of taking a break from acting.” she said it like she set a boulder down, weighted exhaustion released from her shoulders. like she ripped off a curse that had been casted on her.

“what? you can’t, that’s your dream.” you sat up, surprise exploding across your face. even in the end, despite sophia leaving you and your life behind the first time. you would never want her to quit her passion, you know how hard she fought for her place in the industry.

countless nights after your heart broke, maybe it was because you wanted to make sure she was still real, that you hadn’t manifested her existence.

you watched every acting part that she was in, all the movies, all the tv shows and all her interviews during the press tours. she sparkled under the limelight, acting was and still is her passion. it was clear as day, the way she had explained all her thoughts on playing these characters, her undeniable pursuit of greatness. it casted this warm glow on your heart even if she took your heart with her.

it hurt and it hurts even more to know she wants to stop acting.

“right now it’s too much of a commitment, i want to be with you and with anna.” she continues, giving you a small smile even though you heavily disagree. you want to see her shine, want her to continue to mold her talent.

“to make up for lost time.”

“you sure? you know i’ll always support whatever decision you make. but i don’t want you to have to give up acting.” she slid closer, letting her head fall just in the junction between your head and shoulders.

a gentle but somber smile on her face.

“i know you do, it’s what i love about you. but i need to do this, i’ve already done so much damage by prioritizing acting, i want to be here, right now, with you and with her. that’s all i need.” she played with your hand, particularly the wedding band that fit snugly on your finger.

“you can’t get enough of me?” you grin smugly, enjoying her lurch back, eyes rolling and gasping as she leaned away from you.

“as if…” she instead crossed her arms, letting you chuckle to yourself, sliding yourself onto her lap. head looking up to her. enjoying how she’s still unable to look at you. a hint of amusement behind her frown, and you simply let yourself rest on her lap.

her fingers start threading through your hair, a gentle massage against your scalp. a faint smell of her perfume coming close to you, you basked in the softness of her massage and light floral elements in her perfume.

“fia, i’ve been thinking about this for a while. do you want to move in with me?” you had thought about it for a while. with the current arrangement, anna always wanted to sleep over, often staying for extended periods of time on your ranch. and with that came sophia’s constant visits.

anna would be over for weeks at a time and sophia missed her daughter, and you. but that led to sophia staying over too, often falling asleep in your bed together, a reminder of a faint but distant memory of you two together.

you tried to not push her, to force both of you together again. but the familiarity of living together and the added proximity of your daughter, drove you mad. the question was begging to be released, held back by your tongue in hopes that you could quell your deeply rooted desire for her presence.

you knew that you had it bad one afternoon, anna was committed to picking up all the eggs from the coop with sophia. you watched sophia and anna together, charlie lightly licking anna’s face whenever she leaned down, high pitched squeals ringing through the air.

sophia still looked so beautiful, long flowing hair tucked in her cowboy hat, a flowy sundress that paired well with her cowboy boots. you were reminded how the smallest things made your heart beat in your ribcage.

you swear that night you didn’t leave her side once, heart happy to have her so close. you kissed her goodnight that night, an impulse that had you blushing before you fell asleep.

“i would have to sell my house.” she comments, already churning ideas in her head. “and where would i sleep?”

you knew she was toying with you, trying to get a confession out of you. you’re more than happy to provide the confession. an admission that you wanted her where she wanted you.

“with me. in our bed. obviously.” you opened one eye, watching her gaze at you intently. almost like the feelings were overwhelming her.

“hm, i’ll think about it.” she joked, letting you play petty when you turned away from her towards the tv.

sophia continued to thread her fingers through your hair as you fell asleep. a content smile on her face, kissing your forehead every so often.

things would work out, she believed that it would. she had to believe in you and her because that’s all that mattered to her. and you knew that no matter what threw at you two, you two would stand together as a unit together.

--

a/n: ...and here it is!!! i sincerely apologize that this final part took so long to get together. i had an insane amount of trouble getting the pacing, and writing a plot that would make sense while still preserving the relationship i was trying to write for this entire piece. i hope that you've enjoyed this final part, it was an absolute pleasure to write it stay safe and stay healthy everyone!

[sscieloz]

hey it’s me the anon who wanted to know where u were at for that twice fanfic it’s so good it got me rereading again 😭🥀

[sscieloz]

I’m alive btw

[sscieloz]

it might be me

question sorry if it’s rude to be asking this on another blog but do you know the writer/blog of a twice fanfic (platonic) where reader was the 10th member and reader has had problems with drugs/overdosing & like alcohol issues as well i just wanna reread it again ngl but no worries if u don’t 🥀 thanks again

Noooo not rude at all!

I’m going to be honest, I’m not too sure!

It does sound familiar.

Anyone know?

[sscieloz]

my toxic lovers

save a horse, ride a cowgirl | sophia laforteza

synopsis: the wife you never wanted to see again has re-appeared like a phantom, with nothing else but "let's get a divorce". you have more than a couple words to say to that effect.

pairing: (ex-ish) wife!sophia x cowgirl!reader

tags: angst, slow-burn, fluff, smut, g!p reader (don't like, don't read), tension, marriage troubles, guns (no one dies!), cheating but also not really cheating, slight religious themes, cowboys/cowgirls, a-list-celebrity!sophia, more...

wc: 14.5k

"you'll probably leave later, anyway it's love made in the usa"

it was on a tuesday. 

up by 5am, ready to get the daily chores moving. bold strides across your bedroom, feeling the hardwood creak under your feet as you cross into the bathroom. you give yourself a once over as you brush your teeth. the soreness from your daily activities wears into your body. 

loose hair falling over your brows as you wash your face. the water trickling through your hands, and a little wax to keep your hair back. 

afterwards, you’re whistling to yourself, light tunes that keep you in motion as you slide on the long thick denim pants, holster on the right side, and boots that have worn in over the years. 

your favorite black leather pair.

there’s nothing more serene than being in the quiet, the soft sounds of animals, and the wind blowing at the windchimes.

and soon you’re out the door, chewing on a stick. taking a long view of the most gorgeous yellows and oranges peering just over the horizon, lifting slowly into the sky.

signaling yet another day on this planet.

and with the click of the heel you’re headed down to the barn. stride in pace with the snapping of your fingers.

you can already see charlie in the distance, curled up next to the barn. soft breathing as his ears twitch.

you let out a whistle as you approach. and charlie has shot up like a lightning bolt. eyes alert and ears forward. the cattle dog making a mad dash for you when he spots you in the distance.

he halts to a quick stop and sits in front of you, panting loudly.

“good boy, let’s get our day started.” you give him some pets as you continue to travel down the graveled path. he lets out a loud bark and runs for the chicken coop. 

the chickens are clucking loudly, already rounding towards the fence. 

they know the drill, the sight of you in the early morning means feeding, and they’re happily clucking.

you unlatch the small door to the coop, reaching inside for a couple of eggs, and dropping them into a basket. you quietly fill the buckets of chicken feed, checking the troughs thoroughly and then closing the gate behind you, the basket full of eggs bouncing against your leg as you leave it on a crate.

you’re rounding the back to fill their pots with fresh water when you hear charlie.

your head perks up and you stride towards the sound. it's the loud kind of bark that hits you in the chest. sound rattling your body as he growls at something in the distance. 

your eyes following a dust trail that reveals a big car. one that’s unfamiliar, and one that definitely does not belong on these paths.

the dust from the ground is forming a cloud. shielding it until it comes to a stop by the entrance of your ranch. 

a big shiny grey suburban parks right out front.

“this can’t be any good, charlie.” you’re walking towards the car, listening to the heels click as you try and look into the car. 

it’s tinted and the dust cloud is settling. 

you get close enough before you shout.

“good morning, anything i can help you with?” there’s no movement. and you’re tempted to kick one of the headlights out. 

“this is private property, if you have no business here, then leave.” you shout again, hand clutching your belt buckle. 

charlie’s eyes are wide and he’s drooling, ready to attack at a moment’s call. he continues to bark until you pet him, and he stills. unlike him, you continue to tap your feet until you notice a movement.

one of the side doors opens, a tall man fitted in a black suit starts to approach you. sunglasses pressed up the bridge of his nose and without a smile to match.

“hello sir, are you lost?” you ask, and he’s got something in his hand. a manila folder that he hands to you, no further words.

you look at him a little puzzled, grabbing the folder and opening to the sight of: 

STATE OF NEW MEXICO

DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE WITHOUT CHILDREN.

and right there at the bottom of the page is that signature, the same one that you were smiling at years ago when you were getting married.

sophia laforteza wants a divorce.

you continue to stare at the papers, eyes already a bit blurry, the resounding thumping of your heart hitting your ears and all you can hear is the panic that ensues in your own body. it’s getting harder to breathe calmly.

you’re feeling the pressure hit your head, until you let out a shaky breath.

then you rip it to shreds, all of it. all the mentions of a divorce, you tear it right in his face. pieces of paper flying all over the ground. either for him or for yourself: the reminder that sophia signed this doesn’t exist anymore.

he doesn’t make any movements, face as stoic as he came.

“don’t ever come by here again.” you say slowly at him. he doesn’t move or respond. 

“did you hear me? or are you deaf?”

he’s quick to draw a gun, but not as quick as you, the barrel already aimed at him, trigger cocked back. and he’s aiming you down with his handgun.

“i’ll slam this bullet right in your family jewels if you don’t leave right now.” 

you poke it at his liver, and lower it slowly at his groin. he doesn’t flinch. and now you’re staring into sunglasses that stare back into you. the sun’s shining into your eye, but you keep your hand steady. not missing the way a bead of sweat drips down his forehead.

you’re both standing off from each other, and a door opens from behind him. you peek over his shoulder and wait for someone to show themself. he barely moves an inch and you’re already ready to blow him away. 

he tucks his gun away.

returning to the side of the car and lending a hand as someone gets out of the car.

your gun is still aimed at him.

and out she steps.

you swear to yourself that you must be sick, some parasite must have infected your brain functionality, infected your vision, infected the way your eyes are seeing the world. 

you blink a couple times, swear that the sun is hitting the figure and refracting the light in such a way that what you see before you cannot be true.

because in the flesh, your not-so-dead-ex-wife sophia is looking at you. 

“can you put the gun down? we need to talk.” she sighs. 

you let out an long breath, lowering the gun back into your holster.

so much for a relaxing tuesday.

--

in front of you is a woman you’re too familiar but not familiar enough with. she’s sitting in the home you two built but she doesn’t belong.

she looks even more gorgeous than you remembered. well tamed hair, heavy makeup and a bold lipstick to match. her red bottom heels sticking into the floorboards and earrings that dance in the sunlight.

she doesn’t fit here, at least not anymore. her clothes are too clean, her posture is too straight and you reckon she feels the same way.

“i’m sorry for showing up randomly, but i want a divorce.” she speaks to you gently.

and it’s like listening to a ghost. 

one that you’ve already mourned, but here she is in all her glory. bone, flesh and talking to you.

you think about how there’s an empty casket right behind the laforteza’s backyard. how you had to comfort mrs. laforteza for months, her weeping into your arms. the tears are still staining your shirt and your heart.

you remember the long nights with mr. laforteza. working with the county police and even going to the state to locate the very woman in front of you. you remembered the way his eyes went hollow after days of no updates. the way he begged you to bring his daughter back home.

you felt like you failed. you were supposed to protect her, keep her safe. you swore at their feet that the only priority in your life was her, that you married her to help her blossom. 

and then she disappeared. like an echo into the night, she disappeared into nothingness. you searched for her day and night. you practically galloped the whole city, searching high and low for her. no one else knew anything either. you talked to every town person, telling them to notify you if there was any news.

you lost sleep, weight, and hope in the process. everyday that she didn’t return, you could feel yourself getting restless. the bags under your eyes grew bigger, your shirts draped over you, you barely could stomach a meal. townspeople would give you pats on the shoulder with that look in their eyes. 

so before you is the very woman that you had long held in your heart, not one you were ready to see again, live in the flesh.

you especially remember how you laid down her favorite boots in the casket. headstone in big bold letters “SOPHIA LAFORTEZA”.

“fia, i thought you were dead.” you don’t even lift your head up as you utter the words. your finger fidgeting with others, picking at the nails. 

the slow drip of the faucet is the loudest sound in the house. you’re left speechless again. 

how is she so pretty?

why does she want a divorce?

why does she not look like fia?

where does she live now?

how is she?

“i’m sorry.” she can’t meet your eyes now, hands clasped together. 

she looks harder around the edges. 

“i wanted to tell you, but i needed to do this for myself.”

she brushes her hair back, revealing dazzling earrings that are worth more than your ranch. 

you’re just begging to reach out, to touch her. to feel her, you can’t even be sure that she exists. your hand nearly reaches out before you grab it with your other hand. you still yourself once more.

“do what?” you ask softly, you’re scared that if you even speak too loud that she’ll vanish, just like she did that night.

“i needed to leave, i needed to chase after my dreams.” she speaks just as gently as you, worried that you’ll be set off. she knows how vulnerable she left you, she might have been better off dead considering how you’re reacting. 

“i found hollywood.”

hollywood?

you remember those nights, where sophia would explain to you how she wanted to be an actress, to be under those bright lights, and shine brighter than the stars in the sky.

you recount how she’d often re-enact lines from the movies that you two watched, how she sang to the cows as she worked, and how her eyes sparkled whenever you allowed her one-woman dialogues at the dinner table.

“so what now? you’re a big star actress?” the heat’s starting to build up, the more you listen to this story, the rage is slowly building. 

“you could say that, yes i am.” she watches the way you’re rapidly tapping your foot, tucking hairs under your hat like a childish habit. 

she’s half tempted to reach out as well, to flip down the collar of your shirt.

the faucet continues to drip.

“why didn’t you tell me?” you were scared of asking this the most, to know that she might not trust you enough to tell you how she wanted to explore her dreams. 

in the dead of the night, when you had too much whiskey to remember your name, you would sit on your porch, eyes wandering the moon as you asked into the air all the questions that lived within your head. brimming over with anger or sadness. the biggest question you had was “why?”

“this ranch, the lifestyle that we grew up with, i wanted more. you were always so happy about growing this ranch, and i couldn’t take you away from this life. but i also had to chase my dreams.” she explains slowly.

and you always suspected that she was still alive. 

maybe it was a coping mechanism, but you once knew sophia laforteza inside and out. 

but it hurts. 

it hurts to hear that she considered your side and still left without another word. it hurts in a way that destroys the core of who you are as a person.

“fia, you could’ve talked to me, we’re married for God’s sake!” your eyes are darting around, and you’re out of your seat. it’s not typical of you, but you can’t make sense of anything anymore.

she stares at you with all the sadness that she’s pushed down. the idea that she left behind her spouse. who she swore to their family and under God that she would be there until her last breath. 

she can feel the tears starting to well up, it’s all too much, to return to this place that she’s unsure of. unsure where her place is anymore, and it hurts more knowing she’s the reason.

“i thought you were dead!” you seethe. your eyes are angry, eyebrows dropped low, and an accusatory finger aimed straight at her. “we all thought you were dead!”

she’s trying not to let the tears come out, her lips are trembling and so are her hands.

“i fucking mourned you. laforteza.” your tears are still flowing down your face, but you’ve hardly blinked at all. eyes like glacier: chilly and icy. 

“do you know that? do you know how hard it was holding your mom in my arms? she was begging me to bring her daughter back. do you fucking know that?”

she stands up suddenly, chair hitting the floor. 

the words continue rolling out of your mouth without missing a beat.

“i had to lower an empty casket. in your name, fia! and you come back from the dead. asking me for a damn divorce.” you stride close to her, with every punctuation of word, she steps backwards. until her back hits the kitchen counters.

“forgive me, God. but you. can. go. to. hell.” you push your finger into her chest. 

and with that you leave. quick steps bounding for the door, slamming the door wide open. 

and running towards the stable. charlie’s quick on your tail. he looks back at sophia once, then turns to chase after you. the tears are sliding off your cheeks, angry tears that stain your skin, reminding you just how much she can still affect you. 

in five breaths, you’re riding your house out the ranch, disappearing into nowhere.

--

you don’t even know how long you’ve been riding buckeye. just the feeling of hoofs clacking against the road, and charlie panting beside you. 

you remember crying into your shirt, all but a snotty mess. you’ve barely processed sophia’s death, and now she’s come back to life. treating you like you’re a pair of car keys that she left behind, not worthy enough to peer into her soul.

you remember screaming into the night, screaming how much you hated her. hated the way your heart still beat for her. as if she didn’t crush yours, as if you meant anything to her. 

you remember the way she still gently walked over that part of the floorboards, the soft spot in the corner of the floor. the way she sat in her seat, the very same one you made for her as a gift.

you’re slow to return to the ranch, buckeye’s slow clopping on the ground still present.

knowing sophia, she probably left. she knows better to try and talk to you now. even after you’ve cooled off, you’ve always taken longer to come to terms of talking through things.

so you slide off buckeye’s saddle and give him some extra carrots for the sudden ride. he’s nudging into you, as if he senses the sadness that emanates from your body.

“i’m okay buckeye, thank you for today.” you give him some more scratches and lock him in his stable. 

returning to the house with charlie at your side, he’s whining a bit as he walks against your leg. you give him some scratches too, leaning into your hand with quick tail swishes.

he’s sniffing around the house, nose leading him into the house, and he waits patiently at the door. it’s closed. you slowly turn the doorknob, hoping that sophia’s gone. 

you don’t know what you would say to her now. the last thing you need after the exhaustion is to try and bring up discussing the divorce again.

and she’s gone, almost like she never even showed up.

except she leaves a note, a short message.

i’ll be back tomorrow. please, let’s talk this out.

-love, sophia

underneath there’s a bowl of your favorite meal, saran wrapped and steam hitting the surface. the same one she would make for you. and you sink into the chair. eyes are getting blurry again as you nearly crumple the sticky note. 

so you didn’t imagine her. she was here. 

the conversation was real, and she wants a divorce.

you slowly dig into the bowl of food in front of you, and it’s like you’re twenty again. coming back from a long day of work, exhaustion set into your bones. but enough to crack a smile for sophia. as she would hand you a bowl of your favorite meal. dropping into the chair as you two recounted your day, happily scraping the bowl until mere lines of gravy were left. you remember the way her hair would be tied back, strands falling to frame her gorgeous face. kissing her in between bites when she was rambling.

do you even remember the taste of her lips?

you cry into your bowl, tears streaming into your food as you ate it, a reminder of who she once was for you. you smile as the tears fall, savoring the way it still lit up your tastebuds.

you would destroy your body for years if it meant being able to eat this dish until your last breath.

you set the bowl into the sink, letting the faucet slowly drip into the bowl. washing away the reminder of her presence. letting only the soft glow of the moonlight illuminate the kitchen, as every second goes by and more droplets fill the bowl, you let out a final breath and trudge upstairs to fall into your bed.

tomorrow you would take care of everything, but tonight you let yourself be haunted by shiny brown eyes that have kept your soul captive for as long as you lived.

--

on the other side of town, sophia’s finally calmed herself from the explosive interaction that was meeting you after years of disappearing. 

she knew what she did was wrong, but her fuel to become a star was greater. 

she remembers that night like a haunting dream. she left with kisses to your face, to remember them in her heart. the way you held onto her like she was home. 

and she swore her heart cracked a little more with every kiss, the way your face looked so calm in your sleep. she brushed your hair for hours, admiring every little feature of yours. and then she left in the middle of the night, hoping to make a name for herself, leaving behind her old life.

leaving you behind.

she also regretted how she left her parents, she knew it would break their hearts. so not only did she tear yours to shreds, now she needed to mend their hearts. 

approaching the steps to their house was just as tough as she thought, each step weighing on her feet. the porch light was on, and she could see figures within the house. she hadn’t even prepared what to say to them, her family that she left behind.

and then she knocked on the door. the seconds felt like forever, but she heard the footsteps. the way the floorboards creaked behind the door. then it opened, and she was flooded with the smell of her mom’s cooking. of soup and the smell of wood, the same warm glow from the kitchen light. and the sight of her dad behind the door.

“sophie, is that you?” 

her dad’s gotten older, more white hairs in his hair. his skin looks rougher but his voice still has that gruff low timbre. he has on his light brown cowboy hat, and then sophia’s mom steps into frame. 

“hi dad, it’s me.” and then sophia’s pulled into a bone-crushing hug, her dad hugging the air out of her. 

“sophie? jesus come here.” and her mom’s pulling her out of his embrace. hands trembling as she holds her daughter’s own face. her mom’s crying, the vision breaking her heart instantly.

she has never seen her mom cry before, not even when she had lost her own parents. her mother holds her head softly before pulling her into a hug. and her mom still smells the same, of lavender and herbs.

it’s like she’s six years old, coming back with scrapes on her knees and loud wails.

her dad encloses all of them as he hugs them as well, thankful to have his very alive daughter in his arms once more. his prayers have been heard.

“sophia, where have you been?” her dad’s voice comes out soft and confused. sophia wipes her tears away and pulls away from them. the sadness from their faces seared into her mind.

“let’s sit down, i have a lot of explaining to do.” sophia explains, and her parents share a look.

--

sophia stares at the headstone, a little worn down but the flowers are fresh. she has yet to figure out how she feels about her name being splayed across the top. 

in memory of a loving daughter, sister, and wife.

the light blows of the wind pushes hair into her face. 

she doesn’t know what’s worse: being known as dead but being alive, or being truly dead?

she could feel her heart breaking at the idea of you burying an empty casket of hers. she notices the empty headstone right next to hers. it’s a chilling reminder that you would’ve been buried next to her. until death were you meant to part. she can’t bear the idea and turns away, walking back towards her parent’s ranch. 

the conversation between her and her dad had gone sour. he grew angry with her, not understanding why she left. 

after he went quiet and left for his room, her mother stayed behind and they talked for hours. about sophia’s current life: all the red carpet events, the glamor, the paparazzi and how she felt coming back.

then she asked sophia how she felt about coming back to you.

and then sophia broke down all over again, she regretted leaving you the most. you were happy with sophia, you loved life on the ranch and you loved her. 

sophia loved you but she didn’t love life on the ranch. she enjoyed the tranquility that came with this life, enjoyed nights alone with you under the dark skies and how you were so charming. 

she kept breaking her own heart by chasing her own dreams, she could smile at all the accolades on the walls, the way people swarmed her for autographs. all the brand promotions and award shows. 

but when she went home, she felt the loneliness of living by herself, a huge mansion to herself and the recognition of the masses, but when the night gets too loud, she wishes she were in your arms. in your a-bit-too small bed and the sounds of the wind hitting the house. 

she wished for you with her. 

and she searched for you in places that were safe: her co-stars, random athletes, and singers.

all of which couldn’t make her feel the same way at night, she doesn’t want to trace their skin. she didn’t want to embed herself into their souls. she doesn’t stay for long in relationships, something miniscule always sets her off, and then she pulls away. she knows who still has her heart all these years, and she’s lost herself in a facade of quick intimacy.

she long gave up on trying to rekindle your relationship. she didn’t know where she stood anymore with you, whether you would throw her out the second she arrived. or would you welcome her with open arms. which was definitely wishful thinking on her part.

but she needs this divorce, she needs to set you free. and set her own heart free. to be free from the haunting reminder that she once had you in her arms. had you so close and tossed it for her dreams. a sacrifice that she’s still not sure if she regrets to this day. 

all she regrets is how she left.

her mom gives her a look when sophia mentioned getting a divorce from you, it’s the same look she gave sophia when she came back drunk in the dead of the night when she was a teen. the same look of worry when she disappeared for three days after a long argument with her dad.

it’s the very same look that speaks, 

i don’t agree with what you’re doing, but this is your life.

she pokes and prods into sophia’s mind, wondering why she would come back for a divorce. when she replies, sophia’s mom gives her a quiet nod, not one laced with approval but one that shows understanding, and maybe one of pity.

maybe sophia’s lost sight of her dream, and who she wants it with.

she doesn’t want to confront the ugly truth, one that would leave her vulnerable, and maybe without you in the end.

she makes her way over to your ranch with conflicting thoughts in her mind.

--

you’re busy cleaning the stables when she arrives. the first thing you notice is that she’s wearing her old clothes, the same red flannel you bought her when you were 18. your eyes see the poor patch job you did to the right sleeve.

the second thing you notice is that she’s forgone wearing her tall heels. wearing old boots, making her shorter like you remember. it pulls you back to fond memories, taking on the daily tasks and laughing at charlie trying to round up all the chickens. 

you put the brush away, and stare at her. she hasn’t said a word since she stepped in. and you’re already feeling ready to leave.

you take a couple steps out the stable, when sophia catches hold of your arm.

“please, can we talk this out?” she’s pleading with you, and you’re already ready to let your guard down, but the hurt rises in your chest.

“i don’t want a divorce, fia.” you say. 

she makes the mistake of looking at you and it’s like she’s 19 again, staring into gorgeous eyes that made her swoon. and she doesn’t know why she’s asking for a divorce anymore.

she’s always liked you with your cowboy hat on.

“i understand, but it’s either you sign this now, or we wait for the divorce to default.” she explains, and you’re already grabbing a saddle, sliding it onto buckeye. 

you turn around, facing her with anger in your eyes.

“fia, you won’t even tell me why, and you come here after years of disappearing and expect me to click my feet together and sign divorce papers. you must be out of your damn mind.” 

you’re prepping buckeye to go out for a ride, when you notice her slide a saddle onto honey. 

great, she’s not letting up.

“i’m headed to the general store.” you say reluctantly. 

and she nods.

you head out, buckeye trotting and whining as he walks out the ranch. you don’t have to look over to know sophia’s following behind you, honey happy to have her favorite rider back.

charlie’s also warmed up to sophia too, once he smelled her enough and recognized her. he walks beside honey, tail swishing lowly, watching sophia every so often. maybe you aren’t the only one that’s missed her.

it feels like everyone’s rushing to welcome her with open arms, but you’re off-kilter. 

you let out a breath when she’s picked up the pace. both of you are riding towards the town. you still needed to tend to the ranch, despite sophia’s insistence on begging for a divorce.

she lets the topic of the divorce go, as you make it into town together.

it hasn’t been like this in years. watching your back as you ride, the familiar swish of the tail from buckeye. or charlie sniffing happily along the trail. reminding herself of her discarded life.

her heart is cracking at how disjointed this all feels. stuck between a path of two lives that she’s tried so hard to separate. she’s not too sure if she wants to sacrifice you anymore.

maybe she’s selfish, maybe she wants everything and more. she wants to be greedy.

you hook your horse onto a fence, instinctively you hook sophia’s horse to the fence too.

she doesn’t point it out, but a small smile stretches her face.

and soon you’re entering the general store.

“sophia? is that you, honey?” mrs. teller races around the desk. pulling sophia into a tight hug and shaking her a bit.

you wander off the aisles of the store, knowing mrs. teller would talk sophia’s ears off. picking up some rope along the way, taking your time. you can still hear the two catching up, and in between rows you watch them. 

sophia’s smiles are still warm.  

you grab some nails and head to the counter.

“are you back, dear? for good?” in the hopeful tone that you’d expect from your grandma. sophia breaks her heart again, shaking her head no.

mrs. teller pats sophia’s hand and all she can feel is guilt. she left behind a community that watched her grow up. townsfolk that looked after her at almost every stage of her life.

she gets lost in her thoughts, until the sight of you buying rope and nails moves into her field of view. 

“mrs. teller, did you get those shipments of horse feed? i placed an order with mr. teller last week.” you’re fishing out money from your wallet when sophia steps in. placing bills in mrs. teller’s hand before you could take it back.

“yes dear, it’ll be in tomorrow!” she shuts the register. “bring charlie around the house, the grandkids love playing fetch.” mrs.teller giggles to herself watching how you two are arguing over sophia’s gesture.

“sure can, thanks again mrs. teller. have a lovely day ma’am.” you lift your head to bow at her. you’re grabbing the merchandise and heading out with sophia hot on your tail. “fia, i could pay for that myself.” 

you both don’t see it, but mrs. teller is smiling at the sight.

“i know you can pay for it, i simply wanted to.” she explains, grabbing onto honey and mounting onto the horse.

maybe you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. maybe it’s the way you hate her paying for you, but it’s upsetting. it erupts in annoyance.

“fia, go back to hollywood, i won’t sign those divorce papers.” you say to her, and her smile from that interaction in the shop has dropped. 

you’re no fool and frankly it’s insulting for her to think a small gesture would change your mind on something as big as divorce.

“i can’t. i need that divorce.” she stares at you with desperation in her eyes, there’s something hidden, she’s not telling you everything.

“why?” you ask.

“i can’t tell you.” she offers, and it’s honest. she can’t explain the deals she’s made, how she’s under the strings of a puppeteer. 

and she wants to save you, save the last bit of happiness she can give you, setting you free from her. 

you swallow the heaviness that sets in your chest.

“you want to get rid of me that bad?” you ask. she doesn’t say anything, but her eyes are getting watery.

she thinks about the vows she wrote and said to you, to her parents, to everyone here. she’s betraying everyone and her own desires.

you take the silence as a sign.

“30 days. give me 30 days of your time, fia. then we’ll go our separate ways.” 

she has nothing to say to you.

wasn’t this what she wanted? 

you don’t know it but you break two hearts. 

you turn around, not wanting to look at her. you tuck your hat a little lower, just enough to shield your eyes. shielding them from welling up, you’re signing away a life that you promised under God that you would protect.

you give a tap to buckeye and you’re riding out of town. 

sophia taps honey and follows you.

the silence consumes you both on the ride back. and you’re both thankful for that.

--

in a week’s time, sophia’s back at the ranch. gone is the heavy makeup and opulence from when she first showed up. she looks younger like this, softer eyes and you’re reminded just how beautiful your wife is.

over the past week you’ve been preparing for sophia to be back. you thought about why you even offered that deal, maybe a part of you likes the pain, or is trying to prolong what’s inevitable. or maybe you’re too much of a coward to let things go.

whatever the reason may be, you had your wife back. and for the solace of a month, she was yours as well.

sophia’s out in the front, playing with charlie who hasn’t left her side since she’s arrived. the first thing you told her when she returned was how charlie kept whining and pawing at the door when sophia left.

you want to welcome her like charlie can, but touching her feels like ripping your heart further. opening the old wounds you tried so hard to mend close.

you walk towards her, basket in hand and pass it to her.

“chicken duty, let’s go.” you start walking down the path to the chicken coop and sophia’s still playing with charlie.

she watches you as she plays with charlie.

she hates that you’re so distant but so close. each time you pull away, she wishes it was just all a terrible nightmare she could wake up from. hates that she has to ask for this divorce and is devastated that you agreed.

inside her there’s a war of want and need for safety. some days she thinks about running away from all her responsibilities, and just drift into a fantasy land with you. but she knows this mess was one that she created, and you didn’t ask for this.

she watches the way you move through farmwork like you could do it blind. she’s a bit rusty and as she grabs one of the chickens, she nearly falls over when it escapes from her grasp.

“easy, laforteza.” you’re holding her steady, strong arms that keep her from falling over. 

you give her a smirk and let her go. 

“i’m fine.” she brushes herself off.

“a thanks would be nice.” you scoff and sophia’s ready to argue with you.

“thanks? you act like you saved the world.” sophia’s trying to get a rise out of you.

“saved your pretty ass from falling into chicken shit.” you reply. watching the way sophia’s face heats up.

“whatever.” sophia storms off, chasing after the chicken that’s escaped her grasp.

the smile on your face doesn’t leave your face the whole day.

not even when you’re having the worst time rounding up the cows. and charlie’s chewed up another sock of yours. you don’t even complain when sophia’s eaten the strawberries that you were saving up for dinner. 

you have half the mind to feed one to her.

--

one night curiosity bites you in the ass. you’re too curious for your own good. 

spending years asking God to bring you the answers you were longing for. you ask her about it during dinner, when you two have already grown a little more comfortable with each other.

“so, did you make it?” you ask her, chewing a piece of beef slowly. “did you make your dreams come true?”

she slows her fork, setting it down on the plate with a clank. she smiles wider, and your heart warms.

“i made it, someday i’ll fly you out to one of my premieres.” sophia starts, a sparkle in her eyes that glow brighter than the night stars. 

“i’m being called left and right for roles, and they want me to be apart of this major franchise soon.”

as she talks about the accolades, the way her eyes brighten and shine, you realize you couldn’t take this from her even if you wanted to. she shined so bright, and who were you to hold her back. 

you continue to bite into your food, letting her take over the conversation. 

it seems you no longer know sophia, you don’t know her friends, her interests, her sense of style. 

all you have are old fragments of what once was. 

“i’m glad you achieved your dreams, fia. genuinely.” it pained you, but it was true. you were genuinely happy for her.

“what about you?” she’s curious.

“what about me?” you questioned back.

“did you achieve your dreams?”

“no.” 

you shift your feet a bit, the floor boards creaking. sophia is understanding, but you’re not painting the full picture for her.

“it’s okay, you can keep trying.” she offers, there’s kindness in her voice. 

you don’t have the heart to tell her that this divorce will crush your dreams.

“thanks, fia.” you stare out, she’s chipping at the walls that you’ve concealed.

there’s something to it, the sadness that hangs in the air. how you never fully say what you want. 

it makes her skin crawl, no longer does she bear the secrets to your heart. you’ve long thrown the key away when you lowered the casket in her name. 

she doesn’t mistake how you’re unable to look at her. she wants the obsessed version of you back. how devoted and caring you once were. 

she figures she lost that privilege when she disappeared from you. she grabs both her and your plate and begins washing the dishes. you get up with a sigh. 

“need a hand with that?” you grab a dishtowel. holding a hand out as she passes cleaned utensils for you to wipe off. she feels more at home than she’s felt in months. nights of partying and meetings with co-stars and agents has left her soul feeling more than isolated.

but in this small house, with a few too many creaky floorboards, and a leaky faucet, she misses how simple this life is. 

of course her passion still lies in acting, but she’s not sure how much she wants that without you.

--

the next afternoon, the laforteza’s visit came unexpectedly. you spot mr and mrs. laforteza with wide smiles and a truck filled with gifts as they roll into the ranch. mr. laforteza gives you a hug that makes you want to cry. 

sophia’s parents know this divorce is not what you wanted.

but they also know that you would prioritize sophia’s happiness over anything. it’s why they were so accepting of you marrying their only daughter.

“mr. laforteza, it’s great to see you too.” you pull away from him, and he gives you a shoulder pat before walking towards sophia. he doesn’t have to say much to convey how he feels about you. 

both her parents seem so happy to have her daughter back. you want to feel the same, but the history between you two is entangled like vines. to unravel each branch might just tear you two apart. 

so instead, you help unload the truck filled with gifts of horse feed when sophia comes up to you.

“hey, did you know they were visiting today?” she asks, grabbing a bag of horse feed off the truck bed. you stack another bag onto the pile.

shaking your head, “no, i figured you asked them to visit.” 

she shakes her head too. “i didn’t.”

mrs. laforteza is happily walking into your house, charlie wagging his tail happily as he follows her. clearly he has a favorite human. 

you walk in after her, looking at her taking groceries out of a bag. 

there’s a silence that envelops you both. 

“you look too skinny.” mrs. laforteza says as she takes out a pot, filling it with water. “and you look sad…are you sad?” 

she has a knowing smile on her face as she watches you. you lean against the fridge, and contemplate the question. 

are you sad?

this past week with sophia has been revealing how much you missed your wife. the instinctual habits that you forgot you had are coming back to light. when you always scoop her helping of food first. how you always leave the left side of the couch for her to sit on. how you always tuck your boots next to hers. it’s a familiarity that you want to relish in. but in less than a month’s time she’ll never be yours again.

so maybe you are sad, maybe you’re devastated that you’ve betrayed your wants in favor of giving sophia what she wants. maybe you’re losing yourself by giving it all to sophia.

“i’m not sure what i am anymore.” you reply. 

she can feel how lost you are. from having sophia come back after years of mourning her disappearance. she feels for you. as if you were her own. and her daughter wants a divorce. she still doesn’t understand why and it’s the elephant in the room.

“honey, you don’t want this divorce. what made you agree?” she turns off the faucet. you reach over to place the pot onto the stove. 

she smiles at the gesture.

“i don’t want sophia to feel trapped with me, and it’s clear she left without telling me for a reason.” you explain even though it’s cracking your heart. her mom gives you a light pat on the cheek and shakes her head.

“that girl has never stopped from loving you. i know her. this is killing her as much as it’s killing you.” 

you want to believe that, truly you do. but you have a heart to protect too. are you going to be a fool and let it be torn all apart again? 

“then why is she doing this?” you’re tired of hearing how sophia still wants you from other people. it hurts more.

“i don’t know why either, dear.” she speaks gently to you.

you stare out the kitchen window, watching sophia’s dad talk to sophia. you can’t hear what he’s saying to her, but she’s listening intently, and at one point she turns to look at you. 

feeling caught, you avert your gaze. 

but she watches you, eyes trying to commit you to memory.

it’s later at dinner, when you and the laforteza’s are eating together. laughter loudly echoing around the house that you forget that you’re about to be divorced. 

you bathe in the happiness that emanates throughout the night. mr. laforteza retelling stories of how he courted mrs. laforteza. with eyerolls from his wife and sophia hanging on his every word. 

charlie’s seated right by sophia, curled into himself as his tail wags slowly. 

this is what you envisioned your home to be. to be warm and filled with life, and eventually down the line you wanted kids. wanted to create your own family with sophia. to have her parents come down to babysit the grandkids and play with them. 

for charlie to have another person to play catch with.

you don’t even notice the tear that rolls down your face. it stains your jeans as it free falls. you continue to laugh along with a funny joke that mrs. laforteza has said. 

sophia’s eyes notice it immediately, reaching out to cup your face.

the laforteza’s share a look with each other.

“are you okay?” sophia’s using her sleeve to wipe it off.

“oh, yeah, yeah i’m good.” you snap out of your daze, feeling the way sophia’s eyes are filled with worry. the way she lightly dabs at your cheeks. and it feels too much like home. 

“well, we ought to get out of your hair, it’s getting late.” mr. laforteza stands up, brushing off his pants and sliding on his cowboy hat. ms. laforteza stands up as well, a warm smile adorning her face as she follows him out. 

you and sophia stand up, wishing them on their safe travels. you watch them as they go out the ranch, until you can’t see their tail lights anymore. maybe in a distant world, you get to have everything. the big family dinners filled with laughter and excited screams from kids. but reality is always more grim than fantasy.

you let out a sigh and turn around, sophia is silently waiting for you.

“come on, let’s go to bed.” she says, hand open for you to take. 

your finger twitches. you nearly step forward.

“i was going to take the couch.” you say a bit too quietly. this whole time that sophia’s been here, you’ve been sleeping on the couch, offering the bed to her. she doesn’t tell you how it breaks her heart that you don’t follow her every night.

“let’s go to bed.” 

she shakes her hand a bit. in turn, you scratch your neck a bit, and take a step towards her. hand slipping right into hers like a glove.

she smiles at it. lifting your intertwined hands as she places a gentle kiss on your hand.

you don’t know it, but when you’re long asleep. the sensation of sophia tracing every ridge and dip of your face, your nose bridge, your cheekbones, your jaw. she’s found an angel on earth and you’re laying next to her. she slides closer to you, giving you gentle kisses on your face.

she wants to cry all over again, how cruel it is to leave you again. she closes her eyes once she feels that she’s left parts of her soul on you, covering your skin with her love.

it’s unspoken but you don’t take the couch ever again.

--

the next week you’re arriving at the rodeo in one of your cleaner shirts, a darker cowboy hat that you saved for special occasions. sophia’s by your side. 

you initially were planning on going by yourself, but when sophia heard you mention it in passing, she invited herself.

so she’s wearing her best denim jacket with her hair styled up in a ponytail. makeup enhancing her gorgeous eyes and glossy lips to pair. she caught you staring at her getting ready, held under her trance. maybe she wanted to give you a show, maybe she took extra long getting ready, knowing your attention was stuck on her.

you enter the large barn, seeing crowds of people surrounding the fenced in rodeo. there’s an experienced rider on top of a wild bull. shouts and whistles being thrown around, and the sounds of bells clinking all around. this was going to be a good night, you could feel it in your bones.

you begin walking towards the fences, when sophia pulls you back.

“can you get us some drinks?” she asks sweetly, using that smile that makes you weak in the knees.

“of course, fia, two beers?” she gives you a nod and you’re bound for the bar. it’s filled with older cowboys and cowgirls. one of them tips their hat to you, in which you do the same. he helps signal over a bartender for you. 

you’re walking back to sophia with two drinks in hand, excited to watch some real bull riding and wanting to enjoy a night with sophia. when you notice the crowd surrounding her. there’s cameras in her face, and people shoving papers into her hand. 

you push past some people, trying your best to reach your wife, when you hear the shouts from the crowd.

“sophia! i love you!” a man shouts. 

“you’re sophia laforteza!” a woman shouts. 

“can i get your autograph? please, it’s for my daughter!” another woman shouts at your wife.

you finally push through the bodies and find your wife looking cornered, the encroaching crowd pushing her into the fence. within a couple steps you wrap your arm around her. pulling her out of the crowd.

“please, give her some space!” you shout at everyone. a couple of the cowboys recognizing you and pushing the crowd away. giving you a tip of their hats when the majority of the crowd disperses. 

you’re thankful for the help, but you hadn’t anticipated sophia to be recognized here.

“i got your beer.” you slide the cold bottle into her hand and she nods. she’s tapping her feet rhythmically. grabbing a hold of your arm and sliding her arm through. 

“thanks, for back there.” she says, placing a kiss on your cheek. 

your face heating up at the affection. 

“you’re welcome, fia.” you say. “does that happen often?” 

you signal your hand. gesturing at the commotion that was. the only celebrity that you’ve come close to is the town mayor and his family, but even then it’s mostly to badger him for public works. 

you’ve never seen a real-life swarm of people asking for autographs.

“hm? oh, all the time. i mean i can’t even walk down the street without bodyguards sometimes.” sophia’s speaks about it casually. to be known and approached by the masses for the recognition of your talent. you don’t know if you could stomach that life. 

“do you miss it?” you ask into the air, but there’s more to it. you want to know if she misses her life in hollywood, the one she chose over you. 

she shakes the beer bottle a bit. you don’t even realize you are holding your breath. waiting for the second shoe to drop. 

“i miss the human interactions, when people would tell me how inspired they are by my acting. how it made them want to go into acting themselves. i don’t miss having camera flashes in my face when i’m trying to go buy groceries or enjoy a lunch outdoors.” she speaks

you listen earnestly. her life feels so foreign to the one you both grew up in.  

“sometimes, when life gets too much out there, i rub this necklace and wish i was still back at the ranch. i wish i could have both.” she shows off the necklace that you’ve seen her wear for years, a family heirloom that you’ve never seen her take off.

and with the sound of a bell there’s a new bull rider entering the arena. 

loud hollers around the barn echoing as the rider hangs onto the bull firmly. the bull is running around with kicks and swishes of the head to knock him off. but he’s holding firm.

sophia pulls you closer to the other side of the fence. getting a better vantage point of the scene. she makes some comments about how the rider’s pretty good. letting his body move enough to bend to the bull’s movement, but doesn’t let himself tip too far.

maybe you’re fishing for compliments, or maybe you want her attention on you. either way you spout it before you can stop yourself.

“i can do better than that.” you scoff, taking a swig of beer. she raises an eyebrow, taking a sip as well. she hasn’t seen you ride a bull in years, but she remembers how good you once were.

“you still got it, cowgirl?” sophia tempts you. 

“damn right, i still got it.” you say, drinking the rest of your beer and walking over to sign yourself up for the competition. sophia watches you. noticing you take a piece of gum out and chewing it. 

the same ritual you always had whenever you rode. she stares at your hair under the hat. your eyes surveying the bull that’s trying to buck another rider off. she stares at how you look so damn good under the light.

and then you’re up, loading into the bay with the bull standing by. a couple of people are prepping the bull, sliding on the rope tightly. and you hop onto the bull. gloved hand gripping onto the rope wrapping around the bull. you adjust your hat a bit, and look out for sophia.

she spots you from across the fence, holding herself on one of the bars. waving to you, and you tip your hat to her. signaling this ride is for her. 

“you know the rules, cowgirl, stay on for at least 8 seconds,” one of the guys fixing the rope asks you. “you got it?” 

you give him a nod and tap the gate. nodding forward and lifting up, the gates open automatically. your bull immediately sending you forward, he bucks and twists his hind legs. trying his best to shake you off. he’s got you spinning like a spin top, using the momentum to throw you off. 

you grit yourself. you keep your bottom half of your bottom as close to the bull as possibly. your leg slapping against the side of the bull. the bulls spinning around trying to get you dizzy. you nearly fall off at one point, gripping onto the rope with all your might.

and then you hear the roars, eight seconds are up, and you feel the bull trying to kick you off, his horns getting a bit too close to your head, so you roll off the bull, just narrowly missing it. you roll onto the ground, the dirt covering you entirely.

as you run away from the bull. screams of the crowd cheer you on. 

you run right up to sophia, sliding your hat right onto her head, hugging her over the fence. and everyone’s cheering your name. loud chants echoing the arena. more than just qualifying, you’ve put on a performance. everyone is cheering for you but you have your eyes set on sophia. 

maybe it’s the beers, maybe it’s the feelings that are swarming in her chest, but she grabs you. 

then she’s kissing you and everyone roars. 

whistles and hollering in the air as sophia continues kissing you.

the screams drone out and you kiss her back. and for the first time you’ve seen her eyes shine so bright for you.

“you saw me out there, fia?” you shout at her, the loud chants droning out your voice. 

“of course i did, you did amazing baby.” she smiles and pulls you into another kiss. and you leap over the fence.

pulling sophia into a hug. still breathing hard from the run. she leans close to you, tucking your hat tighter on her head.

“how do you feel, cowgirl?” sophia asks you. you both walking towards the bar again, needing a refill. 

“indescribable.” you say, kissing her temple. 

and you reach the bar. several cowboys already offering to buy you drinks. you try waving them off, but then the bartender slides over the drinks to you.

“on the house, courtesy of your bull riding return!” he shouts. “and for sophia’s big return too!” 

the cowboys cheered for you too, and you gave them a clink of beer. sophia grabbing a beer and cheering to some of the guys too. the bar continues to be lively into the night, some retired bull riders telling you about their heydays. sophia was welcomed back happily by a couple of cowboys. 

your hand doesn’t leave sophia’s the whole night. a gentle rubbing across your knuckles even when she’s talking to someone else. you don’t want the night to end, and neither does she.

--

you and sophia ride back home, she’s still wearing your hat and holding onto you as buckeye continues clopping on the road. 

“and then charlie nearly bites him in the ass!” you shout, the laugh nearly making you double over as you recount the event. sophia’s listening intently, giving you nods of her attention, with her head pressed into your back. relishing in the feeling of your body’s movement. 

“we’re home.” you say gently. dismounting buckeye and pulling him into the stable. she watches you, and she has been the whole night, sometimes you caught her too. 

“you okay?” you say, letting go of the rope, staring up at her. she looks at you for a moment, memorizing how you look in the moonlight, gorgeous and warm.

“great. help me off?” she says. and you grab onto her, pulling her off the horse and setting her down. 

she slides her hand into yours again, and you feel your skin heating up again at the feeling. 

she pulls you towards the house, urging you into a run and opening the door eagerly. you’re confused but you don’t question it when she’s sliding off her boots and running up the stairs. you follow quickly after her, opening the door and seeing her in the corner.

she’s fallen into your bed, beckoning you forward, and you obey. reaching close to her when she places the cowboy hat back onto your head. tilting it low enough to her liking. her hands reach for your shirt, sliding up and down the front. it stills at the top button.

“can i?” she asks. and you nod.

she’s unbuttoning your shirt quickly. and she lets her eyes drift up, catching you staring at her with the same want.

she loves how you look on top of her, hat still covering your head, the hottest goddamn cowgirl she’s ever seen.

“hat stays on.” sophia says firmly, removing your shirt. your eyebrow perks up at the admission.

“you have a thing for my hat?”

“i have a thing for you wearing that hat.” she rushes to take off her own shirt, revealing all too gorgeous skin. you reach out, feeling the heat from her skin against yours.

“noted.” you smirk at the way she’s embarrassed. 

you slide her shirt off her back, bunching it up and throwing it across the room. you slowly move up the bed, enclosing the space that feels oh so far. she’s moving up too, liking this view of you looking to claim.

“is this new?” you spot a tattoo under her breast, a small butterfly. the wings spread on her ribs. tracing it with your thumb, maybe you need to be re-acquainted with her.

“yeah, like it?” she says, liking the sensation of you tracing over the tattoo. you nod, a bit too entranced by the linework. 

and then she grabs your hand, lifting it up gently. you snap your eyes onto hers. she smiles as she moves it upwards. dropping it right on top of her bra. and she stares at you, begging you to make a move. 

she pulls you down for a kiss, you want to pull away, but she keeps you close. hand wrapped around your neck, she pulls you close enough to get her mouth next to your ear.

“you still remember how to fuck me?” sophia challenges you, lightly tugging at your lobe. “or do i need to teach you again?”

she pulls away. 

she’s smirking at you, wanting you to snap.

“i still know how to fuck the senses out of you, fia.” you confidently claim, and you’re back. the same confident girl that makes her head spin.

“prove it.” she whispers. 

you grab her face, kissing her with the hunger that’s been building up this whole time. you still wanted her as much as you used to. distance and time hasn’t changed how much you yearned to make her yours. 

she’s pushing up into you, wanting you just as much, having a little taste wouldn’t satiate this desire. so you grab onto her torso, pulling her up. enough to unhook her bra and slide it off. another discarded piece of clothing landing across the room.

“God, you are perfect.” you say, dipping down to kiss her jaw. moving your hands again, pushing lightly into her hip. you continue to kiss down her sternum, reaching a hand to rub against her boob. lightly grabbing and pulling it towards you. 

she gasps.

“you’re so sensitive, fia.” you joke. continuing your journey south. gliding your hands to unhook her pants, sliding them off her legs. 

and it’s like christmas came early. 

“can’t help it.” she whines a bit. anticipating your touch. “it’s you.”

you stutter a bit. the emotions in her voice are overwhelming. maybe she wanted you in the same way.

so you go silent, wanting to express how much you yearned for her. wanting to re-learn everything that makes her tick.

you slide your hands under the waistband. her panties still sticking a bit as you took them off.

she smells divine, a mixture of sweat and desire. and you’re ready for worship.

you roll into her with your pants, hips tilting upwards. letting your hardness rub against her, and she drops her mouth. pretty sounds falling from her lips. 

she reaches down, grabbing a hold of you. feeling around and reaching for the belt. pulling at the buckle until it pops. 

she pushes you back, frustrated she can’t get closer to you. and you land back, propping your arms just enough to let her reach for you. 

she climbs on top, pulling her hair all to one side. pulling your belt off the loops. you watch her throw it off the bed, and she’s grabbing onto your pants. unbuttoning them in urgency.

“desperate?” you gaze into her.

she gives you a look that says a thousand words. the darkness in her gaze, and the kind of sterness that makes you excited.

then your pants are unbuckled. you let out a breath, relaxing as the pressure from the pants has been lifted. you’re standing at full attention, begging to be touched.

begging to be touched by her. 

she puts her hands inside, not bothering to slide your pants completely off.

you let your head fall, she gets closer.

“i missed this…missed you.” she tugs a bit, and you twitch. 

you nod, pulling her in for a kiss. “i missed you too fia.”

you close your hand into a fist, gripping onto her hair and letting open mouth kisses fill the air. she looks so beautiful like this, putty in your hands and plump lips that make you nearly cave in.

you reach down, a single finger that draws a line. finishing right where she wants you. you give her a tap, and she lets out a hiss. 

she wants to swat your hand away, instead she gives you a look.

“stop playing.” she scolds.

“yes, ma’am.” you chuckle a bit, liking the demanding side of her. she continues to lightly play with you over your boxer briefs.

letting her nails slide up and push into your briefs. you can feel yourself getting lost in the sensation, the way she starts tugging again, rubbing the tip and spreading out your juices.

“you’re leaking baby.” she says, continuing to pump you, hands gripping enough to give you that head-spinning pleasure. 

you reach down again, looking for her wetness, smiling to yourself at the feeling.

“same to you, baby.” you smirk. letting your fingers gather that wetness and spread it up. 

playing with her clit until it’s begging. 

you hear the hard pants and watch how she goes rigid, unable to look you in the eye. eyes closed shut with a hand on your forearm. 

she looks so gorgeous, and you want more. want to mess her up so she’ll never want to leave.

you pull her hand out your briefs and she almost looks hurt. wanting to reach out again, and you stop her. you simply shake your head, kissing her enough to distract her. pushing her back, pleasing her is your only motive right now.

“baby, let me make you feel good.” she blushes at the words. she remembers how good you were with your mouth.

sometimes she’d touch herself at night just remembering the touch of you.

“please, hurry.” and you do, setting her head on a pillow. dropping yourself onto the floor.

kissing her and parting her legs. sliding your hands over her thighs. you get close enough, but not enough to touch her. and when she doesn’t expect it, you kiss her clit. 

she moans at the contact, and then you latch onto it. softly sucking it, just the way she likes. when her legs twist and turn, hands reaching to grab the sheets.

you got her right where you want her. gorgeous and laid out.

you slide a hand up, running your palms through her torso, far enough to grab onto a nipple, and flick it. she grips onto your arm. the slight pain making you grin. 

it’s cute how worked up she gets with you.

every little touch like a flame that dances upon her skin.

you continue to suck around her bud. giving it a slow lick and she’s gripping your arm more. you lick it with fervor, liking the way she’s begging for you, name rolling off her tongue that strokes your ego. 

you stand at full attention, light twitches at her beautiful moans. you get lost in your own world, licking slowly and with a flat tongue. enjoying how her legs shake when you suck.

her body is hot to the touch,  a slight sheen of sweat coating her body. casted with moonlight making her skin glow. she’s gorgeous and the only one you want in your bed.

“baby, please, i need you inside.” she begs. trying to pull you up, so you let her. let her drag your body closer, until you’re touching her with your clothed cock.

you slide your pants down, pulling them off and flinging them away, the restrictive material off your body. 

and sophia watches you, likes the sight of you bare. body toned with years of farmwork and bull riding building you up. 

you slide up to her, using the wetness that’s been leaking from her cunt and coating it all over your cock. enough to get you inside. she’s more desperate than you, reaching for you, and pulling it towards her. 

“come on baby, it’s all yours.” you say to her. letting her dictate when she wanted you. and then she pushes you inside, instantly her head drops back onto the bed. the feeling of you inside again after so long has her starting to tear up.

“you okay baby?” you ask, a little startled from the tears. 

you stop to wipe them off, ready to pull out at a second’s notice.

“so good, please move.” she begs of you, and you’re more than willing to comply. pushing in slowly and watching her face contorted in pleasure. 

pretty pink lips that are begging to be kissed, so you dip down and kiss her. soft kisses that have her gripping onto your hair, pulling the hat off your head and tossing it aside.

you slowly tilt your hips to sink into her. the vibrations from her throat buzzing against your mouth. moans that are begging to be heard echoing inside. she grips harder into your hair, loving the way you stretch her.

“please move baby, i need more of you.” she detaches from your mouth, waiting for you to rock into her. and you do, in that slow pace that lets you feel every ridge of her insides. warm enveloping heat that’s making your heart hammer.

your pretty wife below you, such a vulnerable and intimate sight. you kiss her nipples, lightly massaging one with your hand and playing with the bud. 

she puts a hand on your stomach, feeling your tensed abs against her nails. you continue to push in and out of her. moans in time with your movements. you want her to always feel this good, to want you forever.

you lick her nipples, then blow on them, cold air hitting her and she hisses. 

“you are so gorgeous baby.” you dip down to whisper to her, and she feels herself getting wetter. the movement of you inside her has her mewling. her nails lightly scratching your abs, you continue to roll into her.

using your hips to angle upwards, pressing your tip in that soft spot. tingling immediately hitting her body from all over.

“found it.” you smirk at her. and with what strength she has she rolls her eyes. wanting to tell you off, but you hit that spot again, and she’s back to being a mess.

“fuck…” she moans out.

“yes baby, feeling good?” you smirk. she nods with whines coming out, unable to answer you. you continue tapping it, enjoying the way she seems in heaven.

you grip harder into her hips and move to tilt your hips back down, long strokes that knocks at her womb.

you want to fuck her so she forgets everything but you. want her to remember only you, it's selfish and possessive. but you need her to want to be yours.

“kiss me please.” she begs and you dive down, kissing her intensely. still giving her long strokes that have her fingers shaking.

“you’re doing so good for me, fia.” you speak in between kisses.

“my gorgeous girl.” you speak to her soul. begging her to hear your calls. 

“your gorgeous girl.” she says, tears springing into her eyes again, overwhelmed by the claim. “yours. yours. yours.”

you fuck into her, hips gradually snapping. hitting against her insides and she reaches out, hands open for you to intertwine. you take it and give her hand a kiss.

she cries at the sight, all the feelings spiraling out of her.

she lets you continue to fuck her, intensity sharpening as you keep pulling in and out. her nails dig into your hands, she looks like a mess, the most gorgeous mess. 

you want to keep her here forever. she knows it. knows how you’re concentrating so hard on pleasing her. she wants to as well, wants to make a mess of you.

 and then she pushes you.

“baby, want to ride you.” she whimpers out, and you nod. slowly sliding out of her, ending with a light gasp from her.

“come ride your cowgirl then.” you settle yourself on the bed, laying down and watching her shake as she tries getting up, legs a little wobbly.

“don't. say. anything.” 

your mouth is already half open, ready to make a joke. 

but she shuts you up. instead you watch her gorgeous body climb on top of you. hands that cross around your neck.

“you look so pretty, fia.” you say, placing a kiss on her arms. rubbing them up and down as she gets situated.

“not as much as you.” she says through heavy breaths, trying to kiss you on shaky knees. 

you use your legs to keep her in place, meeting her halfway. kissing her fervently and passionately. 

she has you hooked, cock begging for attention. 

then she slides onto you. sinking enough to let your cock rest inside her. and it feels like heaven, how you missed this.

“fuck, fia, you feel so good.” you moan out, head dropping onto the pillow.

“you feel even better.” she smiles at you. sinking down until you’re fully sheathed. she keeps her hands on your abs. settling for a rocking motion as she moves herself on top of you.

“mm, i could ride you for days.” she whispers.

“you’d ride me until i’m dry.” you scoff. hissing when she drags her nails down your body. 

“you can’t go dry.” she scolds you.

she wants to milk you for all your worth and more.

“this is mine.” she clenches, enough pressure to make your cock jump. 

“yeah?” you let out playfully, “did you decide that?”

“of course i did. this is mine.” she clenches again and you twitch. and she gives you no time to recover. 

going right back to riding you. pulling herself up just enough to rock back down. you relish in the sight, the moonlight shining in and illuminating her body. you watch her in a haze, the pleasure spreading inside of you, but the sight of her is more than everything. 

you are still so in love with her.

she continues to ride you, hand on your thigh as she leans back. rolling herself on top of you. 

you feel like you could cum any second now. and you grip onto her thighs, to which she grabs a hold of you. 

staring at you with desire and pleasure in her eyes.

she closes her eyes, letting the feeling of riding you consume her. she can feel the familiar feeling at the pit of her stomach.

“fuck, i’m going to cum.” she keeps repeating it to herself in the moment.

you grab a hold of her. rushing to push her back. wanting to fuck into her until she cums. in a second her back hits the bed again, and she looks at you a little dazed.

“need to fuck you.” you say just loud enough for her to hear. and push into her. going for a more relentless speed.

she keeps moaning in your ear, chanting your name lowly. it drives her crazy to have you so close.

“i’m cumming baby, inside or out?” you pant in her ear. 

all you want is to cum inside, begging to pour yourself into her.

“please, inside. only inside please.” she begs for you. hooking her legs around you, holding you close. “want your kids, please.” 

there’s tears in the corners of her eyes and she’s raking her nail down your back.

“yeah?” you whisper to her, feeling your stomach coiling into itself. “you’d be the best mom.”

the rush nearly hitting you when she clenches. 

“fuck!” she cries desperately, pulling you into a kiss that expresses her deepest desires. 

she wants this, wants to be the mother of your kids. the idea of anyone else as a replacement sends her in a tailspin.

all she wants is you. 

wants to keep a part of you with her forever.

she needs you. and she needs you to want her. wants you to fill her up. she’s gasping and holding your head. staring into you, in each part that she’s loved and admired.

“baby, fill me up.” she whines, continuing to clench every so often. you gasp each time, open mouthed and head falling back.

“fuck, i’ll fill you up baby, be patient.” you hiss when she pushes back, using her hips to meet you halfway.

she feels the way you twitch inside of her, the signifier that you’re close.

you reach your climax, the white hot sensation hitting you in the body, letting out ropes of cum inside of her. grunting and moaning as you keep pushing into her, wanting to be as close as possible.

she can feel her walls getting painted with you, and it triggers her own climax. 

the intimacy, the desire, the urgency makes her continue to sob as she cums.

you continue to slowly pump in her, the orgasm coming to a slow descent. trying your best not to collapse on top of her with your arms shaking. you try to push yourself up, just to get yourself in a better position so as to not crush her.

when she suddenly pulls you down, chest to chest and you can hear her sobs.

“no! stay inside.” she cries out. and maybe time has changed you but you don’t remember ever hearing her so desperate. 

“fia? what’s wrong?” you’re concerned.

“no, just want you. stay inside please?” you stare at her, the desperation in her voice is echoing in your heart. 

so you stay, gently wiping tears off her cheeks and comforting her as she cries. giving her kisses on her shoulder and lips. 

you continue to shower her in gentle affection. letting her enjoy the feeling of you and trying your best not to move around. she feels herself relax eventually, enough to make her sleepy.

she closes her eyes, trying to drift asleep. before she does though, she whispers to you.

“stay?”

“of course, fia.”

–

the morning has dawned and you let yourself sleep in. with sophia next to you and the memories of last night, you feel on top of the world. 

it feels like the old you is back. there’s still the ever-looming divorce over your head but maybe last night changed things.

maybe you can allow yourself to believe she wants to stay. maybe she doesn’t want this divorce.

maybe you can allow yourself happiness again.

it’s a slow morning. you’re trying your best to clean up last night’s mess. dirty clothes tossed into a hamper, trying your best not to wake sophia up as you clean her.

giving her kisses that nearly wake her up. hand reaching out to find you. 

it’s domestic, and an old familiarity you missed.

you give her another kiss just before you leave.

it’s a good morning to enjoy yourself on the porch. rubbing behind charlie’s ears and sitting in your rocking chair.

letting the thoughts of sophia consume you as always. maybe you’ll buy her flowers today, wrap it in a bouquet for her. or cook her breakfast so she can have it in bed. the thought keeps you happy.

then charlie barks, standing at attention. that’s when you spot someone in the distance. 

“can i help you, sir?” you continue to chew on your stick, lightly rocking back and forth. 

he’s too well dressed, a three piece grey suit that’s already gathering dirt and dust under his feet. 

he’s fidget-y, device in hand as he frantically searches for a signal.

“i’m looking for sophia. sophia laforteza?” he’s continuing to twirl in circles, hands up in the air as he walks in different directions, trying to look for a signal.

he looks like a damn fool.

“sir, i don’t know of a sophia.” you continue to chew at your stick. hand firmly held on your buckle. 

“well either you’re lying or this gps is.” he says, continuing to fiddle with his device and he starts walking towards the house. “and i spent a couple thousand on it.”

“i don’t know a sophia. you must have the wrong place.” you shout back. 

charlie’s tail stills when he doesn’t move. instead he approaches you. a charming smile on his face.

he gets close enough for you to escalate. 

you lift your gun out, pointing it at his forehead.

“i don’t take too kindly to strangers trespassing.” you let out. “please leave.”

“sophia! i know you’re in there.” the stranger shouts.

“you have some goddamn nerve.” you shout, stepping up face to face. 

charlie rushes forward, loud barking shaking him up. you keep him still, not letting him lunge forward to bite.

he smirks seeing the door open and sophia running down the steps.

she’s by your side in an instant. and then she sees him, and her blood runs cold.

he wasn’t supposed to find her, or you. 

he wasn’t supposed to have leverage.

“sophia! where the hell have you been? i’ve been calling your cell, your manager, lara, everyone!” 

his voice cracks at the end and he looks like he’s about to pop a blood vessel. his forehead vein sticking out and blood rushing to his cheeks.

“i couldn’t contact anyone! but i had this tracker and it led me here. in new mexico.”

he explains rapidly and at this point you’ve pushed sophia behind you. putting some distance between this strange man and your wife.

“what are you doing here in new mexico?” he finally stops.

“i-...go home thomas. we’ll talk later.” sophia says.

“no, i’m not leaving without you, laforteza.” he says with an awful smirk. one that starts making you nervous.

you didn’t know anything about thomas.

“who are you?” you ask, and sophia wishes she could rewind time. rewind to a time where she never left, kept you close and didn’t break your heart, because she feels like she’ll break it all over again.

“i’m thomas moore, nice to meet you.” he offers his hand, you don’t shake it. “i take it, sophia hasn’t introduced me?” he says, taking his hand back. 

“i’m sophia’s fiancé.” 

he says with a smile that’s slow, ending a grin that makes you want to rip it off of him.

fiancé? 

it hits you in your chest, the shock making your ears ring. ringing and all you can see is sophia arguing with him. shouts like a silent film in your head. you’ve been duped again. 

you let your heart get trampled over again. ruined by this woman. she’s crying and trying to shake you out of your haze. you don’t see the tears that trickle out your eyes. hand open faced and gun to the ground. 

she tries shaking you again. and you take a step back. a tense step, muscle at full flex. you need to get out, you need to get away. 

she’s done it again, she’s let you believe in her love. after everything you tried spelling out to her last night, you want to forget her. you want to forget how you gave the deepest part of you to her.

you leave, feet turning into the house. quick steps turning into a mad dash. you’re opening kitchen drawers, running through the house, trying to look for a pen. anything that can write. you don’t even know if anything else is real.

pen. pen. pen.

and then you find one, it’s an old pen. ink nearly dried up, and you’re scribbling on scrap paper. heart thumping loudly, with adrenaline coursing through you. 

sophia runs after you, trying to get you to stop. she watches you try to write with a pen. her mind going haywire. she has no idea what you’re trying to do. she’s trying to anticipate it and then it hits her. 

her heart drops.

“no! baby please, look at me.” she begs you, grabbing a hold of your face. trying to break you from your dazed self. angry tears staining the paper. 

you grab the papers from the cabinet. an extra copy of the divorce papers that sophia handed you. the lines are tagged with blue tabs. every line you need to sign is there.

and you see the ink flowing again. 

sophia’s crying, trying to get you to stop. 

you lift your pen in the air, placing it onto the divorce forms. signing the line. flipping through the pages with anger, signing the other lines. 

“please, let me explain.” she’s sobbing and begging you to look at her. it’s no use, you should’ve never trusted her again. of course she would leave again.

what were you expecting?

you finally sign it all and sophia’s sunken to the floor, tears wracking her body and she stares at the floor. 

“this is what you wanted, right?” you bite out.

she looks up at you, shaking her head vehemently. 

“no, no, i don’t want this. no!” she nearly screams. she gets up, trying to hug you.

“get off of me, sophia.” you cry out. arms at your side as she keeps her arms around you. it’s suffocating, you never thought you’d say it, but her touch is suffocating. 

“my name is fia! it’s fia! you don’t call me sophia!” she cries out, her heart is breaking. 

everything is in ruin again. you’re in ruin too. this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. 

you wanted to ask her to reconsider, thought of getting her flowers and dressing up all nice to ask her on a date.

this solidified everything you thought was wrong.

“you have a fiancé?” you ask, with betrayal laced in your tone, backing up from her. it hurts to look at her. 

she doesn’t know what to say, so she says nothing. bloodshot eyes that are begging for you to hear her out.

“and you didn’t tell me?” you continue to be impressed, at how little you know sophia.

she shakes her head, trying so hard not to have heave. 

“please, let me explain.” she begs and you shake your head. it hurts so bad, it’s sucking your energy to be in this room with her. 

“and last night…did you even mean it?” you ask, hand over your heart as you feel the anger boiling. you gave her everything, your heart and soul, and she has a fiancé. one that she conveniently forgot to tell you about.

“of course i meant it! i always mean it.” she shouts back, disgusted by the accusation. 

you stare at her, begging for the truth, for this all to be one sick play, where all the curtains rise and a camera crew filming the whole thing. a punk’d kind of sick trick.

“you must be one hell of an actress out there, laforteza.” you say out of spite. “you had me fooled with your act.”

“don’t you dare. i never, i never—it was never an act with you.” she nearly screams. 

but the curtains don’t rise, and reality sticks.

“get out sophia. i don’t want to see you ever again.” you say. you stare at the divorce papers that you haphazardly signed.

signatures flying across the page, and tears wrinkling it. it’s a poor sight, and one that you want out of your home. 

“get the fuck out.”

she feels her heart crack, truly crack. there’s so much hatred in your voice. pain ladened anger that screams for retreat. 

she cries out, hands reaching out for you. you turn away from her. tears streaming down your face.

“if you won’t leave, i will.” you bite out. moving past her, and out the house. and once again you’re running off on buckeye. 

charlie following you closely. whimpers coming from him when he doesn’t see sophia follow. he gives one final look before running to catch up to you.

sophia’s sobbing into herself, curled herself into a ball. staring at the home you both once built. maybe this was how it was always supposed to be. maybe she should’ve just stayed away the first time.

maybe she doesn’t deserve this happy ending either.

thomas steps into the house, the cunning smile rubbed off his face, a colder exterior forming.

“sophia, let’s go.” he says, offering his hand. “enough playing house, you have responsibilities.”

sophia looks at him through her tears, anger directed towards him. steel eyes forged with anger and resentment.

“thomas. fuck. off.” sophia stands up, grabbing the papers off the desk. leaving the house with him behind her.

she gives one more look at the house. trying to commit it to memory, trying to commit you to memory. hand on the door handle, opening the car door and stepping inside. 

maybe she needs to put this all behind.

she cries to herself as the car pulls out the ranch, hand crumpling the paper in her hand.

just like a phantom, she disappears again. 

this time you want her to stay away.

--

a/n: how did we like the ending!!! :) i apologize if this isn't true to the american cowgirl/ranch owner/bull rider experience, i tried my best! and honestly this was a whole beast to write so i hope you enjoyed it! stay safe and stay healthy everyone!

[sscieloz]

ik your requests are closed but would you ever consider a part 2 to CS where minnie gets obsessively possessive of reader even tho she acts like she doesnt give a shit about her at school? absolutely no pressure tho 🫶

like you said, requests r closed bubs

[sscieloz]

BAEEE

byteeee who’s your favorite writers on here? can you give us some good recs until you’re back? 😔

i don’t read as much as i’d like to on here 🥀 but guys omfg @neoplatinum has dropped an amazing sophia fic that has shattered my soul

i also love @spiderb00 (more katseye fics guys!)

@sscieloz my wonderful moot

@fellominaarcher LITERALLY AMAZING. chefs kiss mwah mwah mwah

@jiminomenon my goat… afk but still my goat plz go read the devil wears prada rn

[sscieloz]

i’m so normal about paige bueckers

[sscieloz]

katseye neo? okay LETSGAURRR

I'D RATHER LIE | MERET 'MANON' BANNERMAN

synopsis: reader and manon are caught in a arrangement of being more than just members but less than lovers, their members catch on.

pairing: manon x 7th-member!reader

tags: angst, fluff, smut, members w benefits, top!reader, bottom!manon, bathroom sex, car sex, making out, hickeys, cunnilingus, fingering, 7th!member!reader, katseye members, mentions of a man (el oh el)

wc: 5.9k

"i'd rather lie than to lose you, girl"

hidden behind closed doors and tucked away bedrooms, you were caught under the trance of a woman whose feelings were as fleeting as a thought. the only permanence and constant is her autonomy.

it really was born out of pure coincidence that you found yourself knowing more than just her, but also the way she kisses you. the softness of her skin, the quiet noises in the dead of the night, and even the way her eyes glaze over when you’re in too deep.

there was always the threat of being found out by the public. if word got out that two katseye members were in a romantic relationship, that would spell out the end of the group. so you two kept the arrangement to yourselves. carrying all the memories and weight of your actions. they were locked up in a deep corner of your heart and soul.

in front of cameras you’re plenty pleasant, playing the role of the more quiet and reserved member, cracking rare jokes that had the members laughing until their stomach hurted. but you never wanted to display a weakness to a very special member that had landed her way into your heart. 

so you often created a fake distance with her, sitting away from her during interviews or group lives. it was all a farce, created to weakly contain the deep feelings tucked away, from everyone, and from her too. 

knowing that you will always feel more for her than she could ever feel for you had your heart aching for months. you try not to notice the closeness that’s so evident with other members, a closeness that you long for. you stuck closely with sophia instead, opting to join her lives instead of manon’s. it was a fool-proof way to keep the public from seeing you two as anything other than close friends.

you fought your feelings as hard as you could, letting your heart rip into shreds for the crumbs of attention that you could receive when behind closed doors.

all of that thinly-veiled confidence in your plan, slowly came crashing down.

--

the first to notice was sophia.

it was obvious to everyone and especially sophia that you were more reserved, a quietness about you that wasn’t tainted with awkwardness. rather just comfort in the silence and peace of being truly yourself. so when sophia caught you staring a little too long at manon’s stage videos during rehearsals, she noted that. 

she also noted that you would often give little huffs of annoyance whenever you two were in the same room together.

one time she walked into the kitchen, hoping to grab a quick fruit to snack on. instead she felt she walked into an old western standoff. both of your bodies angled away from each other, but gazes stuck on each other. 

she felt like she just caught herself between two worlds, nothing other than the energy made her feel so caught, you two were perfectly normal. your hands were dripping with soapy water and the faucet was running. manon took a bite of her sandwich while saying nothing to you, just staring back as you were to her. when manon spotted sophia, she offered you half of her sandwich before disappearing into her room. you stood there, watching her until her figure retreated and resumed cleaning dishes. 

sophia swears she felt the temperature drop from how odd that situation was. 

“are you okay?” sophia said as she grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl. eyes keenly observing the way your hands were shaking as you continued rinsing plates.

“yes, are you?” you placed another plate onto the drying rack, casting your eyes downward. you continued to busy your hands with other dirty dishes, hoping that sophia would drop whatever she thought about that interaction.

“i'm good, here for some fruit.” sophia smiles at you, still observing the way you refuse to make eye contact with her. 

“the apples are really good, do you want me to cut it up for you?”

she smiles at that, grabbing a small knife, and slowly carving the apple skin off. handing you a small piece before leaving the kitchen once more. you eat the apple piece slowly, staring at the half sandwich that manon left for you.

--

“where’s manon?” sophia asked to the group. 

“probably overslept.” you offer back. drinking more water and capping it before going back to practice more of the dance you were having trouble getting down. sophia’s dialing manon and you try not to focus on that. rather continuing to monitor yourself in the mirror. 

sophia groans and looks at you.

“she’s not picking up, can you go get her?” sophia asks, everyone has their eyes on you, so you reluctantly agree. a growing uneasy feeling as you grab your phone and hoodie. speeding off the lot and straight back to the katseye house. 

when you get to her room, you give yourself a moment to collect yourself before knocking on her door.

“manon?” you ask quietly, waiting for a response. when you get none, you turn the knob, opening the room to a very asleep manon. her hair splayed over her pillow. soft breathing sounds as you walk closer to her.

this was always your weakness, the way she looks like you could wake up next to her for the rest of your life. it’s in the way that she curls into her side, the relaxed face. you wish you could stay whenever you two hooked up, but knowing the after was never going to be yours made you leave before you could fall too deep (you already did).

“manon, wake up.” you softly whisper to her, gently brushing the hair out of her face. her face leans into your touch and you try not to lose your focus. 

she smiles a bit, knowing exactly who’s touching her face.

“no…five more minutes, i swear.” she says. trying her hardest to turn her body the other way. you huff a bit before cradling her face with both hands.

“manon, you’re late for practice, and you know how sophia gets when any of us are late.” you speak to her gently, watching the way she continues to smile with bliss.

you ignore the thumping in your chest when she grabs your hand and pulls it away from her face. only to intertwine her fingers with yours. then her eyes completely open.

“no, come cuddle.” with a swift hook of a leg she drags you into her bed. your back hitting the mattress, and feeling the wind knocked out of you.

“oof.” you groan as you try to get your breathing back, feeling a bit annoyed as manon grabs onto you. her leg wrapped over you and her hands slowly moving against your stomach. 

she stares up at you, watching the way you refuse to make eye contact with her. her hand slowing when she feels your heart thumping in your chest. she smiles as she pulls herself closer. 

you let yourself get pulled into cuddling her for longer. leading you into a quick dissent into messy hands and even messier kisses. the responsibilities of being a global girl group member falls to the back of your mind when you hear her calls for you. 

until you get a call from sophia, asking about your whereabouts. soon you’re speeding down the freeway with manon giggling in the passenger seat, adjusting her jewelry in your car’s sun visor.

when you arrive, manon apologizes for oversleeping, but deep inside your heart you know she doesn’t feel bad at all. 

sophia doesn’t mistake the sight of a hickey just tucked under manon’s top.

--

then daniela noticed.

it was a saturday night, and Daniela found herself invited to a house party up in the hills. hearing the news, manon begged to join the party, and then in tow lara joined as well.

you were dragged in as DD (no one but manon knows how you were convinced to do so). so you were driving up the hills with the chaos of three other girls, loudly screaming songs from your sound system. no one questions that manon always gets passenger seat in your car. 

dropping the keys to your 1969 mustang was less than enjoyable, you just hoped the bright eyed 20 year old valet would not crash your car. walking into a larger than life mansion, you scanned for some soda, something to at least keep you busy until you get that text from daniela that the night is over.

when you finally land yourself a drink, your eyes are glued onto manon, body moving within the crowd. finding a couple of friends that you knew as well. happily chatting them up with delight in her eyes. you can’t be bothered knowing that all you want is to steal manon from the room and do more than friendly things to her.

it’s in the way that she chooses to seek out her happiness away from you, and in the same way you choose tonight you’ll try and forget those brown eyes that haunt you in your every waking moment.

you're walking straight for a girl that’s surrounded by a group of her friends.

“hi sweetheart, want to dance?” you put on your most charming smile, a dangerous game that you swore off years ago, way before you met manon. she gives back a smile, one that’s a little too eager. one that lets you know you won’t return her calls if she gets your number.

soon you’re caught up with a girl that’s everything other than the girl your heart aches for. her hair is too fine, she doesn’t fit against your torso like how she does. her eyes are too light to even be comparable to the ones you love gazing into.

her kisses are too fast, the eagerness kills your mood. just eagerness for eagerness’ sake. you want the passion, the intensity behind the emotions. but you push that need down, you’re here to have as much fun as you can without holding yourself back.

as the night goes on, more people are trickling onto the dance floor. you try your best not to notice how your members are shocked by your actions. the way your touching up on this random girl could make headlines tomorrow that could send all of your careers into a dumpster fire. 

daniela’s about to step in, ready to grab you from the dancefloor, when she’s beat by manon. a determination in her step that couldn’t be matched. manon’s grabbing you by the arms before lara could even shout her name. 

the sleeves of your jackets tugged you away from the girl, your eyes are a little blurry and you almost lose your footing. 

“manon, let me go!” you’re shouting at the girl gripping your jacket. a small light of anger erupting in your stomach when she continues dragging you down the hallway into a bathroom. she slams the door shut and locks you two inside. you stare at her, anger continuing to boil within you.

“what the fuck was that?” your anger is almost tipping, here you are trying to forget the very girl that’s in front of you.

“i could ask you the same thing, what the fuck. was. THAT?” her anger is pouring out too. the way she crosses her arms and glares right back at you. the sparkly sequin dress catching under the light is almost as distracting as the glossy dark red lipstick painting her lips.

“i was having fun, what’s it to you?” you scoff, sitting down on the toilet. you hold her gaze, staring right back into her soul. 

she chuckles low, her eyes have lowered to near slits as she walks up to you.

“that fun you’re searching for…” she guides one of your hands right down her stomach, your gaze following like an obedient dog, “is right here.” 

you’re not letting the warmness of her skin get to you. until she pushes your chin up. the way she gazes into you is far too much for now, you pull back from her, watching the way her eyes go dark with anger. 

“you had no right pulling that out there.” you stand up, backing her up slowly until her back hits the sink.

“and you do? kissing her like that?”

“lucky for you, i’ll play your game.” you roughly grab onto her dress, diving for a kiss that’s spelling more than just the eagerness for her. your soul reaching out for hers as you move her up onto the sink. arms wrapped around you like you’re two pieces born to be molded together.

you’re reaching further into her dress when she roughly pushes your jacket off you. 

“get this off. now.” you’re practically ripping off the jacket when she’s decided now’s the perfect time to watch your tattoos under the light. her eyes are zero-ed in on you. you hotly continue to kiss her as your hands wander. slipping off the straps to her dress like they were a mistake.

your eyes are zooming onto your next target, pulling her more towards you, grabbing her waist before dropping to your knees. you keep your hand on her at all times, feeling the way she grabs onto your hair when you push her dress up. a lazy smile on her face when you look up at her.

you give her a small kiss on her inner thigh, eyes gleaming with amusement as she realizes you’re not moving another inch.

“don’t piss me off.” she growls at you, her lazy smile replaced with a deep frown. you smirk once again at her, using her thighs as leverage, balancing yourself before kissing her further, more kisses near her heat, but never where she wants it most. you’re tempted to keep playing with her, until she pushes your head towards where she needs the attention the most.

the tension is all in your neck as you continue to lay short licks around her. slowly getting her louder and louder, as you finally give her bud a lick. a tantalizing one at that, slowly dropping it near her hole. she lets out a gasp at the sudden prodding. 

you go back to her bud, giving it more desperate licks and digging your fingers into her thighs. a feeling of desperation is growing as she continues to moan your name inside of this bathroom. her hand is gripping onto your hair and pulling like a madman. 

before you know it, she’s pulling you up by your hair. your eyes finding hers before devouring her lips once more, the messiness displayed in the fogged up mirror, handprints on the glass. and you’re pushing her dress up further. finally pulling off her panties in one quick swipe.

her lips continue to find yours, arms tightly looped around your neck as you ruin her further and further.

“inside now.” she’s angry and bothered, her lips attach onto your neck while you enter her. a low moan in the back of her throat erupting just to be perfectly heard right by your ear. “move.”

“patience, darling.” you smirk further, loving the sensation of her against your neck. feeling the way she’s gripping onto you, and trying her best to move on top of this sink.

you chuckle a bit before going right back to what you were doing. hands rubbing up and down her side, fingers reaching into her in just the way she loves it. she continues to attack the side of your neck downwards to your chest.

you’re loving the feeling of desperation, the shaking, the rushed kisses, the sudden reminders to breathe when you move in that one area she loves. almost like a trance, she’s tossed her head back, eyes hiding behind closed eyes that are relishing in the feeling of being around you.

“come on baby, come for me.” her rushed breaths are driving you crazy, the way she tries to grind onto your fingers, making you feel like you’ve reached nirvana. her legs are starting to shake in that way that lets you know she’s nearing her peak.

you latch onto one of her tits and flick it, suckling it before pushing it back out with your tongue. your other hand moving towards her clit, rubbing it in just the same tempo that you’re moving with her. you’re curling your fingers upwards, feeling the pads of your fingers hit that golden spot, and she’s whining against you.

“fuck. fuck. fuck, i’m cumming,” holding onto you as an anchor as you watch her fall apart, legs shaking, breaths heavy as if she’s just danced for an hour. the way she mouths your name silently, letting the waves of her feelings expand and buzz within her.

you’re reminded why you love this so damn much. you want to be the only one that can pull this side of her out. 

and damn it, you need to be the only one.

“it’s okay, i’m not leaving.” you whisper to her as you slowly remove your fingers. a gentle reminder that you’ll always stay with her, with her lowest and her highest moments.

three minutes later lara’s banging on the door like she’s the feds. you quickly pull manon together while she’s still recovering from her dazed state. 

daniela doesn’t mention how your jacket is draped over manon’s poorly covered up dress. nor does she mention how you have lipstick stains still covering your mouth that you’ve poorly wiped off.

--

in two weeks time, the next to notice is lara. it was a quick slip of the mouth but she’s always been good at fact checking you. it’s apparent in the way you always go to her for debates on the more philosophical topics that keeps your mind spinning.

“you stole my milkshake.” lara says as she opens the fridge, you continue to clean down the sink and ignore her comment.

“i said, you stole my milkshake.” lara closes the fridge and stares at you.

“i didn’t steal it.” you state while wringing out the towel you’ve been using the clean the kitchen. with another wipe of the counter, lara gets in your space.

“yeah? then where is it?” she asks, catching you off-balance. seeing the way your eyes expand. she pokes your side with your non-response.

“manon’s room.” you say. moving yourself away from lara. she continues to eye you, watching the way you continue to wipe the same spot down. she leaves for manon’s room, quick strides down the hallway. in a quick turn, she find’s manon at her desk, playing with makeup. 

“manon, you stole my milkshake?” lara’s eyes widen when she sees it on her nightstand.

“i…did no such thing.” she pulls her best puppy dog eyes and notices the cup on her nightstand. lara’s eyes are following hers and it lands on the exact cup of milkshake she was saving for this afternoon.

“then what is this?” lara’s lifting the cup and shaking it in manon’s face. the emptiness of the cup isn’t lost on her. 

“that’s…um, someone’s milkshake.” manon nods to herself, quite proud of her evasiveness.

“yeah, mine’s.” lara scoffs and throws the cup into the nearest trash can. manon can only giggle and whistle as she turns back to her makeup. lara’s getting more suspicious, manon isn’t one to drink milkshakes. 

“why are you drinking my milkshake?” lara sits on manon’s bed, looking around the room.

“i didn’t, you-know-who did.” manon says.

“i thought you stopped hooking up with him?” this is news to lara, she didn’t know manon was still hooking up with him since they broke off the arrangement months ago.

“yeah, um, he came over last night.” now lara’s more than confused, how do you know that the milkshake is in manon’s room. lara was sure she didn’t see anyone come into the house last night.

“really?” lara offers back mindlessly, watching the way manon continues to fiddle with her makeup, a quick hm giving lara all she needed to know. manon’s always been a horrible liar, a dead giveaway when she doesn’t make eye contact.

and then lara spots in, in the very corner of manon’s bed is your favorite beanie, the one you never lend to anyone, not even daniela when she’s having her worst hair dyes. 

“interesting. don’t steal my milkshakes anymore.” lara says, grabbing onto your beanie and exiting the room, walking straight for you.

“you left your beanie in manon’s room.” lara says neutrally, dropping it into your hands. you have half the mind to offer a thank you, but you knew you’ve been found out, or at least that’s what lara’s eyes are telling you. she gives you a smile before exiting the kitchen once more.

“shit.” you eye the beanie.

--

then yoonchae noticed, sweet yoonchae who had no reason to believe that two of her members were hooking up. she had been requested by manon to steal your car keys. the car keys that you kept on you at all times. but you would never guess that sweet yoonchae would take it. thus here’s yoonchae ready to raid your room all for a promise of in-n-out and a sweet ride in your car, by manon.

yoonchae’s browsing your desk, desperate to find that orange 8-ball that you have attached to your keys. her eyes land on it and she can already smell the burgers that manon will buy for her from doing this.

and with a smile, yoonchae’s sitting in your precious red mustang. manon cruising it down to the freeway with two goals in mind. to make this the best birthday gift you’ve ever received and to do it in your car.

yoonchae doesn’t make a comment when she notices how intently manon’s eyeing different bouquets. the way she only chooses the best looking roses, and how she buys all of your favorite snacks, not batting an eye at the price. 

yoonchae happily eats her burger in the passenger seat, watching manon arrange the flowers and gift basket in the backseat. and even though later yoonchae’s dismissed to do whatever she wants, she watches from the house. the way manon grabs pillows and blankets stuffing them inside the car. she certainly finds it weird that manon’s stringing fairy lights in your convertible. 

she also doesn’t mention how she sees manon get all dolled up for this “birthday surprise”. she continues to watch from the corner of the house when manon leads you outside to your very decorated mustang. after almost losing your mind from wondering where your keys were.

--

“you could’ve just asked me to borrow the car, you know? i was losing my mind trying to find my keys.” you huff a bit, walking towards your beautiful car. manon’s quick to walk with you. jumping into th e driver’s side when you unlock the car. you scoff before entering the passenger seat.

“well, i have a birthday surprise for you, and i needed the car for it.” she smirks, grabbing the keys once more and turning the ignition. and soon she’s pulled you two off the lot, heading up for the hills. 

“bannerman, if you crash my car, i’m going to chase you down until the ends of the earth.” you say to her, watching the skyline as you travel through the streets. 

“mm, sounds like someone has a crush.” she smirks, toying with your threat.

“you wish.” you scoff, directing yourself to pull this conversation into another direction. she’s telling you stories of her time in zurich, how she would steal her friend’s car keys and hide them for fun, until they offered to drive her wherever and whenever.

you laugh a bit, that does sound like her. and you recount stories of how your car had gotten you a lot of attention in high school, manon stops tuning in once she hears about how one girl thought the passenger seat to your mustang was her seat.

and soon you’ve pulled up to an overlook. a gaze out onto the city of angels. 

“happy birthday, baby.” manon presents to you a cupcake with a lit candle, “make a wish.”

you don’t say it out loud, but you wish for the girl right in front of you. and after blowing out the candle, manon smiles when she sees you bite into the cupcake. delight spreading over your face, and manon swears she will make your wish true no matter what it is.

“thanks, you didn’t have to do all this.” you say as you unwrap manon’s cupcake for her. 

“i wanted to do this for you, it’s your birthday.” she says quietly, gazing out into the city with sparkles in her eyes. you let the soft music playing from the car consume you. it’s been months since you’ve started this arrangement and lately you can’t even tell if it’s your own desire for her bleeding into the idea that she might like you back. 

no one else has given so much thought into preparing a birthday celebration for you. you continue to stare at her as she stares out at the city. a warmth spreading in your chest that you’re struggling to contain. the loss of self-control building in your chest but also in your voice.

“manon, i think i love you.” you offer. 

she continues to stare out into the city, her eyes closing when she hears those very words. 

“i know.” she says it back like she’s walking a tightrope, like she’s scared to admit her truth as well. 

“i think i love you too, but i’m scared.” she trails off, clasping her fingers together, and she sighs, letting her head fall on your shoulder. you take a minute to digest her words, you’ve never felt so conflicted to hear these words. 

“why are you scared?” you both stare out into the city, like it’ll calm the chaos that’s been plaguing both of your brains.

“i’m scared i’m going to mess this up.” manon’s eyes are closed as she thinks about how happy you make her. how she never wants distance from you, the same distance that you enforced on her to keep everyone off your backs. “i’m scared that i’m too much for you.”

you think of all that you two have done, besides the physical intimacy, there’s so much more you want, the desire for a permanent space in her life.

“i’m scared too, but i want you more.” you offer back, she nods at the words. digesting the way you’ve always been so sure of yourself, even though you hurt yourself by holding yourself back you’ve been so sure of her.

“i didn’t want to assume more than what we had.” manon speaks gently, tracing shapes onto your skin. small hearts that keep looping into each other. 

“i didn’t want to either, but i think eventually i would’ve told you.” you grin to yourself. feeling the weight of the confession being lifted off your shoulders. 

“i’m glad you said something first, i don’t think i would’ve had the courage to.” she says, stopping her tracing to look into your eyes. you laugh a bit.

“you can’t tell me you have feelings for me, but you’ll do this instead?” you point at your gift filled car. you smirk when you notice the small teddy bear with a heart pillow. manon just blushes instead, not answering your observation.

you get off the hood of your car, walking to the back to admire her handiwork. the backseat covered in fairy lights and small paper hearts that hung from the ceiling. you laugh a bit before entering the backseat, pulling manon in with you.

“mind explaining this setup to me?” you grin at her, watching the way she gets embarrassed. 

“it’s stupid really, i wanted us to have chocolates and chill in your car. something lowkey that you would like.” she says, pulling out some chocolate she had sent over from zurich.

you grab her face, placing a long kiss onto her lips, one that expressed the gratitude for her attentiveness.

“this is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” you grab a piece of chocolate from her and toss it into your mouth. letting the music carry the silence of the night. she tosses one into her mouth as well. 

“you’re welcome, baby.” she grabs your face to kiss you. letting her feelings pull her in. and soon you’re all over her. chocolates and gifts long forgotten when she’s the most gorgeous gift you’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

you can feel your soul becoming lighter, a sense of belonging as you pull her onto you, legs straddled on you. kissing heavily as the music is drowning in the background. the sensation of soft lips, ones you could lose yourself in forever. the tugs from her as she pulls your hair softly, pulling you back until you’re off her lips. a glazed smile on your face, zero-ed in on hers. admiring the smears of her lipstick as you lick your lips, tasting your favorite cherry lip-gloss that she owns.

“my sweet angel, you wore cherry?” you grin, using a thumb to wipe of the lip-gloss.

“it is your favorite.” she grins, slowly unzipping her hoodie, revealing the red lace lingerie set that always has your eyes go wide. and like clockwork she watches the way your eyes grow to the size of a baseballs. hands immediately latched onto her sides, like a bull you’re ready to charge at red.

she’s perfectly set up this plan, aiming that by the end of the night you get to unwrap your birthday present. 

her.

clad in your favorite red lingerie set.

you pull her closer as you run your fingers over the lace, the familiar feeling of devouring your favorite meal. and with fervor, your back to kissing her, slipping your tongue into her mouth, letting the hotness consume you. acting on pure instinct and hunger, your hands grace her boobs, grabbing one with your hand as you hold the back of the neck with the other. she’s losing herself in the process as well, loving the attention and hunger you’re displaying. she chose the right outfit to wear tonight.

“baby, please.” she whines when you continue to kiss her. moving to kiss her cheeks and pushing her backwards. kissing upon her lace covered skin.

“please? you’re going to have to be more specific.” you let out in between kisses. you play with the straps of her corset. letting one fall off her shoulder.

“please, need you.” you shake your head at her, not heeding her request. “down there, please.”

shes trying to move your hands downward, and you let her. moving it to exactly where you know she needs you the most. and you’re toying with her, liking the way she curls her body into you, breathing heavy and panting. the way she whimpers when you squeeze her bud gently. 

pulling away quickly, she’s about to protest when you grab her to be placed onto the blanket. tucking the pillow just under her neck and kissing her. a reminder of how sweet you are in the passion of devouring her. her eyes watch you intently, the way you shrug off your jacket, leaving you in a sleeveless top. the way she can see the way your muscles are tense as you use your arms to prop you up. she swears she’s never felt so hot for you before.

something about the confidence in knowing her body inside and out has her ready to let everything go. let you control her body like a marionette. and she does.

she lets you toy with her, using your fingers to dexterously bring her closer and closer to her peak. the way you’ve sunken down to explore her both with your hands and mouth. 

“fuck, how are you so good at that.” she’s gasping for you. 

she’s letting out sounds that you didn’t even knew existed. grasping for the seat and window like a lifeline. lost in the pleasure of you, she’s completely let herself free, loud moanings that make the music go silent. until all you can hear is her, in her most vulnerable state.

“baby, please please please, keep going.” she’s begging now, struggling to keep eye contact but trying her best to make you understand just how bad she needs you.

“shit, oh my god, i’m cumming.” and soon she’s crushing your head with her thighs, squeezing you as she rides out her orgasm, the waves of pleasure crashing into herself, slight convulsions and twitches. neither of you say a word as you both catch your breathing. she pulls for you, open hands waiting for you to cuddle her. 

and you do.

you hold her close, just like you always have. she grabs onto you, grip never letting up. she traces the tattoos that you have on your arm, the same one that she loves so much. 

you let yourself feel vulnerable too, draping your jacket over her body, singing her whatever song is softly playing the background, not even moving until sunrise. 

you’re back in the katseye house by the early morning, and you can only hope no one has spotted you two. the way you both look like a wreck and reek of each other.

you smile as you carry a sleeping manon into the house, still snuggled into your jacket as you set her down into your room.

--

the first to say something is megan, and to her defense, it was meant as a joke. until everyone became far too quiet for a simple joke.

it happens during movie night, lara’s put on a classic horror film: the shining. your lack of fear for horror movies has yoonchae and manon hanging onto you throughout the movie. yoonchae’s tucked into your side, ears closed as she tries to get through this scary scene.

manon’s even worse, seated into your lap, away from the TV. her head tucked into the crook of your neck, scared beyond belief. you silent rub her back, whispering to her that “everything will be okay.” 

megan’s laughing her ass off at the scene, finding it more hilarious than anything. daniela and sophia are less scared, but still attentively watching the film. lara doesn’t feel any kind of way as she watches the film, happy to just continue eating her popcorn.

“that scene is so funny!”  megan shouts at the TV, looking at the way yoonchae and manon are gripping onto you for dear life. you simply shrug at the TV, continuing to pat manon’s back.

“not funny at all!” manon shouts back, her eyes still closed shut and letting you rub her back. 

“oh baby, it’s okay, it’s just a movie.” you say to hear but megan overhears it. and without a second thought she opens her mouth.

“baby? are you two finally dating?” megan askes jokingly, eyes wide as she smiles. everyone can hear the pin drop as soon as megan said the final word. lara and daniela are sharing looks, sophia’s ready to get up and lecture the group. meanwhile yoonchae peaks her head up. 

no one says a word for a couple seconds, until everyone’s overlapping with each other.

“n-no listen, it’s not like that.” you offer, feeling your ears heat up.

“i so called it!” daniela shouts at you two.

“jesus, guys! this isn’t any of our business!” sophia’s quick to mediate, trying to settle the chaos that was brewing.

“oh my god, they found out.” manon whispers to you, curling even further into you, embarrassment exploding within her.

“i stole your car keys for manon. sorry.” yoonchae says to you lightly, and you can already feel a pressure migraine growing as all the girls are talking over each other. daniela and lara sharing what they’ve noticed.

“fuck my life.” you groan, and feel manon giggle into you.

--

a/n: tried a new format! and a comeback fic that was not proofread/first smut-ish fic, this was so fun to write! stay safe and stay healthy everyone!

[sscieloz]

early band!aespa aesthetic

[sscieloz]

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