#But knowing I be active by skating? It’s been my life line. And now I can bike!
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I JUST FOUND OUT I CAN BIKE WITHOUT* PAIN!!!!! I JUST FOUND OUT I CAN BIKE WITHOUT PAIN!!!!!!! I NOW HAVE TWO PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES I CAN DO WITHOUT PAIN!!!!!!! I CAN BIKE WHEN IM NOT FIGURE SKATING!!!!!!! IM GENUINELY SOBBING RIGHT NOW THIS IS SUCH A MASSIVE THING FOR ME YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
* = check tags for explanation
#My chronic pain has been getting so much worse lately#Dislcoations are also happening more often#And as someone who used to be insanely athletic I’ve been grieving so heavily for who I used to be and what I used to be capable of#I used to be able to run a marathon easily and now *walking* is painful#I use a cane most days now#My literal only freedom is while figure skating#And to discover there’s another thing I can do? I feel like I’m getting a piece of myself back even while my health is getting worse#This feels so euphoric#But knowing I be active by skating? It’s been my life line. And now I can bike!#And I just don’t know what to say#Also for clarification I can bike now but it’s still painful to a degree: Figure skating is not painful for me#But biking still has a level of pain but so far it’s not like ‘I’m completely unable to do this’ pain instead it’s like#‘Wow yeah this is painful but everything is and this is a pain I can manage to deal with because I’m being active and that makes me happy’#ykwim?#Oh and new symptoms of paralysis. I’ll make a post about that too. My luck is awesome /s#Chronic illness#Fibromyalgia#hEDS#Cane user#dynamic disability#Disabled#Chronic pain#Disability#Chronically ill
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Jurassic World: Camp Fam - Next Generation
I was board, so I made a next gen for the Nublar Six, based on my personal headcanons and ships so if you don't like Benrius and Kenlynn, then please don't come at me. This is all just in good fun.
Enjoy!
Emily Bowman (Benrius)
Emily was nine-years old when her parents were unfortunately killed in a freak dinosaur attack, leaving her orphaned. Darius and Ben responded to the call and took her into their care. She stayed with them for a little while whilst Social Services began sorting out her situation, wherein during that time, Emily gotten to get to know Darius and Ben and what they do; how they locate dinosaurs, care for them, and ship them off to private island habitats funded by Dr Mae Turner and Mantah Corp, now under Kenji’s full jurisdiction. She even began to conquer her fear after making friends with a Maiasaura she named Ursa.
She was eventually put into a foster home, but the conditions were poor, so she decided to run away and return to the Sanctuary, via stealing the mum’s credit card to book a plane ticket.
Darius and Ben were shocked to see Emily and horrified to hear about the living conditions. After sending her to bed, they had a long talk about how they had once talked about adopting and raising a family, agreeing they both adored Emily and didn’t want her to go. So they gave Emily the good news the next morning that they would adopt her into the family and she said yes.
Fun Fact: Ursa the Maiasaura is a direct nod to concept dinosaurs that would eventually become Bumpy, as Maiasaura was one of the many plausible candidates.
2. Julia and Xavier Kon (Kenlynn)
Despite their ups and downs, concerning Brooklynn’s line of work and Kenji's inheritance of Manta Corp, Brooklynn tries extra hard to live in the moment and not take her time with her family and friends for granted and Kenji works hard to ensure that the Kon family name is redeemed through his work. Regardless of their hardships, they work well together and support each other through their struggles.
Julia Kon is the more extraverted of the duo. She takes after her father, enjoys skating, archery and isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, preferring physical activities to staying coped up indoors all day. Her brother Xavier is more closed off then his sister. Younger by two years, he prefers technology and hacking to climbing and being outdoors.
Despite their differences, two things they have in common is their love for their family and their association with dinosaurs. Namely the herd of Parasaurolophus living by their father’s climbing camp. Every month, Kenji would take the family camping at the cliffs and the kids would play with the baby Parasaurolophuses. One in particular took a real shine to the children; Brooklynn affectionately named her Nightlight, due to how Xavier would snuggle her tightly due to his fear of the dark when they went camping.
Fun Fact: Julia and Xavier are named after Brooklynn and Kenji's original concepts for Camp Cretaceous, Jules and Xi respectively. Also, Kenji and Ben used to have different roles, with Ben being the strong, athletic character while Kenji (at this point in time, Xi) was the shy, nerdy type. They since swapped roles, with Ben becoming the shy one and Xi taking the role of the rich kid and was renamed Kenji.
3. Katie Gutierrez-Fadoula (Yasammy)
When Sammy and Yaz got married and talked about starting a family, they realized there were some complications: Sammy's encounter with the Scorpios Rex damaged her reproductive organs and left her unable to carry a child to term, and Yaz was uncomfortable with the idea of ordering a doner. So in the end, they agreed to adopt.
Katie loves her moms and her life at the ranch. She enjoys spending time with Angel and Rebel, who they were able to rescue and keep on the ranch (best cattle dogs Sammy ever had), tending to the cows, chickens and the stray Pachycephalosaurus that had been hanging around the ranch lately, who she has named Bonehead. She came out to her mums as trans when she was 13 and they wholeheartedly support her through her transition.
Fun Fact: Katie is a sorta merge of Sammy and Yaz's concepts. Sammy was originally meant to be male and Yaz's name was originally Katie.
Anyway, those are my versions of the next generation of Camp Fam. I hope you like them and again, this is just all in good fun; I'm not trying to start any shipping wars.
Take care peoples.
#jurassic world#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jurassic world chaos theory#darius bowman#ben pincus#kenji kon#brooklynn jwcc#sammy gutierrez#yasmina fadoula#benrius#ben x darius#darius x ben#kenlynn#kenji x brooklynn#brooklynn x kenji#yasammy#yaz x sammy#sammy x yaz#camp fam#next gen ocs
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Hiya I was wondering if you can do hc of Dazai and Chuuya with a fem! s/o who nit only works with them but also skateboards?
I've never ridden a skateboard in my life and you can probably tell from these headcanons buuut I hope you enjoy them anyway~
Characters: Nakahara Chuuya, Dazai Osamu
Contents: gn!reader
Dazai Osamu
Dazai thrives on information, so he naturally learns all there is to know about the people he’s interested in. It’s very hard to hide anything from him, so even if you decide not to disclose your hobby/sport/favourite form of transport to your colleagues at the Armed Detective Agency, Dazai’s going to find out about it anyway.
When he first meets you, he’ll notice how well-balanced you are and how good your spatial awareness is. This can come about from several things, but there’ll be more clues as he goes alone.
If he’s bored, he might just straight up follow you around one day. (Listen, it’s not creepy when Dazai does it, because it’s Dazai.) His suspicions are confirmed when you stroll into the local skate park and greet the other people there like you know them, like they’re your friends.
He doesn’t really seem to be into sports or much in the way of physical activity—just enough to keep himself fit and agile enough for the job—but he’ll happily lounge on a bench and watch, glancing up now and then from his favourite book.
That said, he might wheedle you into letting him have a go on your board. He wobbles at first, throwing out his hands to steady himself. It’s all an act, of course, since he’s a fully-trained martial artist, but he does always tend to clown around.
Dazai gets going, building up momentum as he rattles down the park pathway, building up speed—
It’s only then that you notice he’s heading directly for the railing that blocks off the river, a beatific smile on his face.
Splash.
Nakahara Chuuya
Koyou might have managed to turn Chuuya from a gutter punk into a well-dressed Mafia executive, but at heart he’s still that street rat kid who likes fast motorbikes and leather jackets. He still rides the bike Albatross gave him, though he only does it off-duty because he feels like he needs to hold up the dignity of being a Port Mafia executive.
Maybe you’re like him, and you only take your skateboard out when you’re off-duty and you don’t have to worry about the opinions of your colleagues in the Port Mafia. If you’ve got subordinates, you don’t want them gawking at you when you stack it and eat dirt—not that you aren’t skilled, but everyone falls on their face now and then.
How he finds out will depend on if he finds out before or after you start dating. If it’s before, then he likely noticed you had some kind of injury and that you were being cagey about it. Seeing a cast on your arm or a bandage taped to your face is enough to get him demanding answers. (It also reminds him of that idiot, Dazai, which also just feeds his temper.) People get hurt in the line of duty to the Mafia, but he’s already taken you under his wing, and he’s protective of his subordinates.
If it happens after you started dating, then he probably spotted your skating gear when he came over for the first time. If you’re really into your sport, you might have old, painted and sticker-strewn boards mounted on the wall, bits of repair kit lying around. A Sk8 the Infinity poster on the wall, who knows.
So, what does he think of it?
Well, I think you just found yourself a new skating buddy. Even if he wasn’t into it as a kid, he gets FOMO from watching you. His gravity control lets him master quite a few tricks very quickly, which can be a little annoying when you’ve been practising for god-knows-how-long to improve. However, he’ll make it up to you by using his gravity manipulation to let you skate around like the Silver Surfer. And you never have to worry about falling.
He’ll probably want to skate with you down by the river or somewhere industrial, rather than the local park. Those little baby half-pipes aren’t enough of a challenge.
#yokohama pound#bungou stray dogs#bsd headcanons#bsd imagines#Nakahara Chuuya#Dazai Osamu#Dazai x Reader#Chuuya x Reader
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Max and Billy + Mobility and how it shows the abuse that Max is going through
In canon Billy has his car and Max has her skateboard, however an interesting thing is that we're introduced to these different types of mobility for them right away. When Lucas and Dustin are watching, Max gets out of Billy's car with her skateboard. However, it's interesting because why would Max need her skateboard when she has Billy's car? Well it's probably because she knows that Billy is not going to pick her up from the arcade thus she has her skateboard with her. And the line of "You're skating home," from Billy later on when Max is a few minutes late out of school comes to mind meaning that Billy has done this often of driving Max somewhere and then not picking her up.
Now let's take a look at what this does to Max: it deprives her of mobility. While she has her skateboard, Billy is taking away her ride to and from school. Max is on her own and Billy leaves her with a skateboard that is tiny. Billy is getting rid of one of Max's moods of mobility. He is depriving her of being in a car and knowing that Max will not get this mobility.
This also adds to how big these mobilities are. Billy had a car that is huge meanwhile Max has a skateboard that is able to fit inside a car. The size difference also plays a big part in showing the dynamic: Billy's mobility is bigger while Max's mobility is smaller.
He also takes away more of her mobility: it is heavily implied that Billy had broken Max's skateboard. Which is very important because it shows/screams “I can have my mobility but you cannot have your mobility!” And after this we see Max try to repair her skateboard: she isn't just trying to repair her skateboard, she's trying to fix what Billy has done to her. It's interesting how the next scene we see after this is: Max getting on the back of Lucas' bicycle and trusting him with the mobility that is being used. Max is trying to fix everything that Billy has done to her by fixing her relationship with the types of mobility that she is being able to use and who she trusts with this mobility. With Billy she is being forced to use this type of mobility meanwhile with Lucas she is actively choosing to get on the bicycle.
It's also interesting how after the fight at the Byers: Max is the one to drive Billy's car. The Duffers could have had Lucas or Mike or Dustin drive but they choose Max! Max who just stood up to her step-brother and changed their dynamic as a whole. Max who is starting to get out of Billy's thumb and starting to gain friendships that are completely changing her life. Max who is driving Billy's car of all things! This is saying, "Look Max is gaining control over her own life - she's the one who is driving the boys in order to save the world -she is the one who the boys are dependent on!" Max this whole season has been dependent on other people for her mobility purposes (except when she is on her skateboard), but now she is the one that other people are dependent to get that mobility and to get where they need safely.
#stranger things#max mayfield#anti billy hargrove#not gonna actually tag him cuz damn their Stan’s will fucking grind on me#my analysis#stranger things analysis#max mayfield analysis#also this may not be perfect as I’m sleep deprived but I just wanted to get this out soooo
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Who are some rookies you'll be keeping an eye on this year?
The kids!! Excellent question!! (Terrible answer!!)
Went with the Extraliga ones, under a read more because I was once again incapable of keeping it short. I have also... mixed up the meaning of the term "rookie" but by then it was already too late. My brain supplied "prospects". 🙃
Tomáš Pobežal -> 2006, C, HK Nitra, Extraliga SVK
Nitra's youth development keeps on going strong. Some guy from Poprad might accuse him of lacking humility which means he's on the right track! Going the same route through the system as Nemec. Made his debut this season, scored twice thus far. Can put a fat check on his hockey IQ. Oh! Got a Michigan against Canada.
Nemec & Jiříček 2.0
You've heard of Šimon and David now get ready for Adam and... Adam. No continuation of the defender duel considering they're up for different draft classes and A. Nemec is a winger, though.
A. Jiříček -> 2006, D, HC Plzeň, Extraliga CZ
Actually doesn't play much differently than his brother. Aggressive two-way defender whose impulsiveness either pays off big time or leads to awkward unfortunate plays. Can he read the play and deceive the opponent with his body language? For sure. Does the execution always come at the right time and place? Nope. Could his timing struggle be compensated by picking up the pace? Perhaps. Either way, might just see him fairly early in the upcoming draft.
A. Nemec -> 2007, LW, MMHK Nitra U20, SVK U20
He's been dominating each of the youth leagues he entered as an underager. Now also a part of Nitra's program, so while his pro-league debut is still awaiting I'm looking forward to it. Him and fellow 15-year-old Tomáš Chrenko (center) are making shit happen on the top line and it's a sight to behold. The accuracy? The seemingly effortless puck movement? Looks promising, even more so if Nemec gets to work on his skating ability and Chrenko grows into his size.
Tomáš Galvas -> 2006, D, Bílí Tygři Liberec, Extraliga CZ
Liberec's new youngest scoring defender! Now getting considerable TOI and moving up in d-pairings! Not as physical as a Jiříček but he's got the brain and Olomouc made a mistake by letting him go. Knows he doesn't have the size (yet) so makes up for it by speed and always staying in motion. Patience, endurance & a whole lot of skill.
Vladimír Dravecký Jr -> 2007, D, HC Košice/SVK U18, Extraliga SVK/SVK2
Getting his first couple of shots at pro-hockey in Košice. He is, in fact, the son of Vladimír Dravecký Sr who is still very much active in the Czech Extraliga. Feeling some type of way about that.
Used to play in CZ but forced to temporarily move to SVK and undergo the U18 stages due to IIHF visa regulations. Sucks, because he's already got an edge over plenty of the guys his age and played a pivotal role on his previous team.
Jaromír Pérez -> 2005, W, Bílí Tygři Liberec, Extraliga CZ
Winger named after Jágr (seriously) who grew up in Spain for the first 7 years of his life. Enthusiastic little guy equipped with a 'team first, individual stats last' attitude which is tragically compelling. If he refines his skills across the board it's going to be a joy to follow his development.
#so sorry to always give you a whole fucking essay on these#asks#u18#nhl draft prospects#are also in there#speaking of rookies... the one I'm most interested in hasn't played in over a year but there's been no press release. WHERE'S MY BOY?
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this is a ramble but i just wanna write down my thoughts
i'm a new hockey fan as of february so this was my second flyers game ever and first flyers game at home (now i'm like as being 'born and raised' in nj/philly area god i've missed out on so much)
ivan played so fcking amazing for literally just being thrown out there after what like 1.5 weeks stateside? like what on earth
i still wholeheartedly believe in sammy and i cannot take this slander bc if he is so bad then the whole team is worse and cannot provide offensive support (see habs, hawks games)
tipp is soooooooooo fast. i think there were 2 separate isles breakaway chances where thankfully he was actually the only one to catch up with the dude and the pressure he created was enough to totally erase the chance. there were so many times that i thought he was gonna score bc of his sheer speed :(
morgan had some brilliant moments but i think around 2nd period i was sure he was on torts' doghouse bc he just gave away (flag) a lot of pucks lol and he started to move more slowly and then i think that's also when torts moved tippy up and shuffled some lines and i was sad - but honestly he was still injecting so much speed and creativity and he was actively winning back pucks he lost so yeah!!!
i will never forget that final 10 seconds goal for the rest of my life. the farg ERUPTED and i was just like non stop screaming and JUMPING UP AND DOWN for like 5 whole minutes. i didn't even know who fcking scored, it was so chaotic. when they said frost i nearly expired on the spot
i think frost giving away the puck during OT was like the saddest thing ever but i think that line should've started OT anyway........
about refs: since i'm so new to hockey i wasn't sure what was a missed call or just philly fans yapping lol. it's definitely much harder to tell from 200's level what is a foul and what is not
i don't know if i was just like clued in to looking out for cam atkinson mistakes but oh he lost the puck a lot :/ and when he had it he never really did that much with it
whew PK was actually back today i think and i totally attribute it to seels. i think there was one PK where he and garny blocked consecutive shots and you could HEAR it ooft
on the flip side i hate our PP so much and i quote the woman behind me but "it doesn't even look like we're on a power play"
wells fargo center is nice. for some reason before 2024 i went to 0 hockey/ice arenas and now i've been to 4 (blue jackets, caps, habs, flyers) and flyers is by far the nicest
gritty is INSANE energy man we are so lucky to have gritty
due to driving in (ugh next time i'm taking the train) i only had time to speedrun one of the shops on the concourse and there were 0 frost jerseys broooooo. they had like every other player. i was trying to figure out which of the like 4 jerseys we have this season to get anyway and i still don't know...
i was just reflecting all the way home that like i've started seriously following sports since 2010 with german football/bvb and since then i've hardcore picked up ravens nfl, orioles baseball, and figure skating, and i've just never felt this kind of high in-stadium until flyers hockey. and maybe it's just bc i've never been to like orioles playoffs or bvb in germany (i've only been to bvb friendlies in the states) but like i feel like hockey should be more popular lol
#flyers lb#idk how 2024 tumblr cuts off post previews so i apologize if this shows up in a huge honking text block on your dash lol
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Distraction
Shepard has plans, and he’s dragging Kaidan along for the ride.
"Figured I'd find you here," a voice says behind him and Kaidan almost slingshots out of his chair. It's not often Rhys sneaks up on him, rarer still that he'll dampen his field to render himself almost invisible to other biotics. Times like this, it's pretty easy to figure out why Aria dubbed him Shadow after that debacle on Omega.
Kaidan twists around to face him, throwing his elbow over the back of the seat and gesturing to his omni-tool's projection. "Going over reports again."
"You shouldn't be."
"I can't help thinking I missed something, or could've explained my reasoning better, or —"
"Kaidan," Rhys says, suddenly right there without so much as a whisper of sound, fingers around his wrist in a gentle hold, "you've done nothing wrong."
"I know, but the Council wanted Zymandis brought back alive."
"And what they want isn't always realistic," Rhys counters, powering down the display with the few keystrokes Kaidan's been hesitating over for the past twenty minutes. "They wanted the Thorian left alive for study, remember, despite the risks. Fuck what the Council think — if they had their way every time a crisis came up the Reapers would've already won by now."
He's right, but —
"Kaidan."
"Okay, okay, I'll set it aside."
"Of course you will. We have plans and you're not skipping out on them."
"We do?"
And Rhys grins, all mischief and fangs. "Well, I have plans, and I'm dragging you along for the ride. C'mon."
~
Whatever delight Kaidan might feel upon discovering the Citadel has an honest to god ice rink in its basement levels is quickly shot down in flames when he spies Javik lurking in the shadows, armour and attitude sticking out like a pair of sore thumbs.
Any irritation at his presence takes an abrupt backseat to fear when Dr Chakwas steps out from the toilets, hockey stick casually propped on one shoulder. It's the smile, the one promising you'll regret every life choice leading to her medbay, or sitting in opposition to her at a poker table. She smells blood in the water and she's out for it.
As if sensing Kaidan's silent question (bouncing between what the hell's going on? and is Rhys trying to kill us?), the prothean slinks forward. "The Commander thinks this to be a... team bonding exercise."
"Excuse you," Rhys fires back over his shoulder, arm out to steady Liara taking a few baby steps on her skates, "I don't think so, I know so."
"It is a waste of time."
"Same could be said for recovering your ungrateful ass from Cerberus, but you don't hear any of us complaining."
Javik hisses at him, a siren song to the temper that's been bubbling away in the background for the past week, and Rhys rounds on him with a snarl. Steve interrupts before Kaidan can, sharp whistle drawing everyone's attention and a wince from the rowing pair, another from Kaidan himself. "Keep it friendly or take it outside, gentlemen."
"The Commander —"
"Will hand your ass to you in two seconds if you don't shut up," Kaidan snaps, and darts forward to assist Rhys with Liara, momentarily breaking line of sight between them. It's enough to redirect Rhys' attention from imminent murder, just as Liara pitches into him and sends them both staggering.
"Do humans really strap blades to their feet in the pursuit of fun activities?"
"Blades, boards, bikes, rockets... horses."
"Stirrups don't count, Rhys."
"They should."
"What is a horse?" Liara asks, drawing their slow progress toward the rink to a halt — Garrus and Tali, too, finding their feet out on the ice already.
"I'll show you later," Rhys says as Kaidan takes another look around. No Grunt or Wrex, thank god, or Joker, or EDI, but — Jack. Is Rhys seriously out to kill them? He has to be. He can't possibly think this a sound idea for team bonding, can he?
~
No safety gear and no rules — a recipe for murder on the ice if Kaidan's ever heard one. But with so many inexperienced in actually skating (Rhys included), it winds up a fairly evenly matched game of chaos instead, no biotics or fighting to be found.
Sort of.
Sure, Liara and Javik still bicker like the old married couple they're not, and Tali goes after Garrus more frequently than she does the puck, and James only makes a decent goaltender up until Dr Chakwas and Jack beeline straight for him, and Steve might know enough about zipping around on ice to be a menace for everyone but... it's fun.
And even when Rhys goes down on his ass again, taking Kaidan with him in a tangle of limbs again, and Traynor lands on them hard enough to drive the breath from their lungs... Kaidan's laughing. Or, rather, wheezing, but there's laughter behind it.
"So what's the verdict?" Rhys asks, seemingly uninterested in rejoining the mayhem dodging around them.
"Verdict?"
"About this, Kaidan. Better than rehashing reports, right?"
"Oh, I dunno," Kaidan replies, carefully getting to his feet and offering Rhys a hand up. "Depends if my team win or not."
~
They don't, but the hour he has alone with Rhys afterward is a prize all on its own. And every kiss he has his vampire chase him around the rink for, wobbling at speed and pinwheeling arms at every overshot stop... those are an added bonus.
#Rhys Shepard#Kaidan Alenko#Mass Effect fanfiction#mShenko#Wrathwrites#this was supposed to be finished in time for Christmas lol whoops
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She had trouble articulating at that moment. She felt her emotions dwelling inside and had no way of expressing them.
That’s when she remembered her older brother would sometimes make these strange sounds to punctuate his feelings as did her mom.
So she searched inside of her little biomechanical body before letting out a buzz. She buzzed, honked, chirped, and more. She jumped and pranced around her Berth Room.
Today is the day she will be embarking on a journey farther than she has before. Her family will be returning to Earth for the first time since she almost off lined.
She had gaps in her memory board as it had been fried and replaced. She couldn’t remember much of her life before her off lining but she did remember who her human father was. She remembered pieces of her adventures but not much else.
She was a little nervous seeing her human father again. Sure, they had a video chat after what happened to her, but to see him in person?
She activated her skates and slid down the hall. She passed bots bigger than she was. In the control room, her mom stood facing the star filled void.
“Mom!”, she giggled and went up to him.
Her mom turned to her with a soft smile. He picked her up.
“Excited to go home?”, he asked as he pet her helmet.
“Home? Right! I was born on Earth! I….”, she got worried.
“Remember what we talked about, Mr. Sumdac loves and will always love you even if you look different from how he remembered you. He told you himself.”, her mom comforted her.
“After all that’s happened… I don’t know if I really belong there anymore….”, she muttered.
“Sari, look at me. I know you remember getting bigger after being small and now your small again. I’m certain nothing has changed between you two and that if anything- this will make him work twice as hard as he has before to show you he loves you.”, her mom said.
“Are you going to tell him you’re my mom now?”, she asked.
Her mom sweated nervously and chuckled just as nervous.
“I’ll try, but I don’t know how he’ll take it. I just hope he understands that I won’t be trying to take you a way from him. You still love him, after all.”, he smiled.
“Yeah, you’re right! Nothings changed! My adoptive dad love me!”, she declared confidently.
————
End.
#fanfiction#au#cute#transformers#transformers animated#tfa optimus prime#sari sumdac#optimus prime#issac sumdac#professor sumdac
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nikolai lantsov: maybe
this was going to be smut and it still is but i apologize i went from listening to dress to hope ur okay so it’s all over the place here with angst.
warning of some swear words? some smut (fem receiving). mentions of drinking and getting drunk. pre-sab.
at eighteen, the world was dizzying with overwhelming opportunity.
the age held the anticipation of beginning a life of your own. sure, the second army owned you even more now than before, but your night of graduation from the little palace’s grisha school still excited you. the fancy sapphire dress gifted to you by the royals reminded you of the waves glittering at night under the moonlight, an obvious nod to your role as a tide maker.
the two glasses of champagne at dinner went down like water. you turned corner after corner in your head to give chase but you could not find even the slightest buzz. with a frown, you kicked open the back door of the kitchen and quietly slipped inside.
the only source of light crept across the floor, directing you to the back. the muted colors surrounding you became brighter the further you walked. you smile expanded.
“little late to your own party aren’t we now?”
your eyes rolled around in your head before settling on the slouched body of the blonde prince, barely upright against a crate. taking quick steps to meet him in the corner, you shoved his legs aside for the extra room. the clear bottle of what you assumed from his breath to be kvas made its way into your hands.
“fuck you, nikolai. you obviously had no problem starting without me.”
a lazy and crooked smirk crept onto his face. it righted itself into a small smile as he watched you down more than a shot’s worth straight from the source. maybe it was simply because of the warmth from the booze, but he swore your knuckles chilled him as they passed over his on their mission to grasp the neck of the bottle.
you minded his touch with the suppression of a shudder. you had yet to consume enough alcohol to relax into it. instead, you examined his own outfit. whatever sophistication he had been meant to pull off was lost on his now untucked shirt and crooked tie.
the delicate knit of his brows whenever he finished laughing could never change, though. even when the prince was more commonly referred to as sobachka than nikolai and you could barely muster a change of moisture in the air, the expressions of your best friend remained steadfast. you took the constant as a comfort.
you kicked off of your heels, climbing onto the counter rather gracefully and snagging a bottle of something stronger. he stepped up to watch you and eyed your footing warily. when you opened one of the bottles and threw your head back at the smell, he knew you had found exactly what the both of you were looking for. he offered you a hand down, which you accepted gratefully.
four shots deep. that is how many it took for you to lose all sense of composure around nikolai. the golden boy in front of you—your best friend—was quite the picture with twisted curls and red cheeks.
and saints had you been pining after him for the past few years. while grisha belonged to a higher class than the commoners, you were still a soldier. he was still a prince. you both had jobs to do, roles to fill, and expectations to fulfill.
you presumed that was his threshold as well. with each glass thrown back, he had shifted closer and closer to you. his eyes trailed down your figure more times than you could count. shamelessly. while neither of you dared the waves between the two of you, the current had been pulling you to one another for years. neither denial nor acceptance.
“do you want me as badly as i want you?” he gathered any sobriety left in him and questioned you, “because as striking as you are in that dress i wouldn’t mind taking it off.”
nikolai lantsov could have been telling you one of his most elaborate lies, and it would not have mattered in the slightest. after sitting through a long night of speeches and passing through mindless congratulations, anything would seem more appealing. however, the golden boy in front of you did not require any of those excuses to be utterly intoxicating.
you could no longer be patient. he tasted like kvas and whatever you had both taken several shots of. it was shared between the two of you now, tongues intermingling in the warmth of each other’s mouths. the rush that started in your head worked into a distinct want at your core.
everything he touched turned to liquid gold, fire melting all of your fine edges to be molded by his hands. once his fingers trailed across your jaw they separated, one hand tangling in your hair and the other skating the curve of your spine. he pressed deeper into you, forcing you to nearly climb on top of him on the floor before he pulled you upright.
when you ran out of skin to attach your lips to, you brought an unsteady hand to his collar. his fingers left their place caught up in your hair and swiftly grasped your wrist before dropping it as a warning. he made an attempt to bring his hands down to the hem of his button down before you used his own ploy against him and smacked it away.
“you made me wait this long,” you breathed out, shaking with pleasure, “let me enjoy this, prince perfect.”
recognizing your admission as an action of teasing and not discomfort, he quickly replied, “we’ll have plenty of time for that later, baby.”
the sly drop of the affectionate bookend to his words did not go unnoticed. as if you were not already putty in his hands, you let him slip his hands into yours and guide them down to his waist. together, you brought his shirt over his head. his body instantly radiated heat inside of the cramped kitchen corner. following his lead, you planted his hand firmly on your shoulder, helping him push aside the sleeve of your kefta and slender strap of your gown.
“see,” his tongue glossed over your collarbones and his teeth lightly grazed your skin, “isn’t this much better?”
you stomped on his foot before throwing a look over your shoulder. eyeing the empty counter, you hopped backwards onto the surface and greedily reached out for nikolai. despite his teasing, he readily accepted your offer and closed the space you had made between the two of you. almost immediately, he made quick work of reaching behind you and undoing the back of your dress. you arched your back to aid him, cursing under your breath at just how skilled he was.
once the jeweled top was pushed down your chest and pooled around your waist, he brought a hand back to your chest. his mouth quickly followed. you gripped his shoulder, the other finding any part of his waist to claim. you felt his muscles tense and then react under your palm.
you wanted him. you wanted this. and fortunately, you had quite the reputation of getting what you wanted.
everything inside of you ached to be touched by nikolai. you felt the incessant need of developing him as a habit. as soon as the thought of the inevitable consequences of your best friend pressing your knees apart entered your head, you quickly banished it.
he was a picture. his hair had started to splay across and stick to his forehead. you pushed his curls back, locking on his eyes as blue as the seas. you trailed your hand down to trail your thumb across his lips before taking his neck to bring his lips to yours. at first, it was drawn out and warm. his tongue explored your mouth thoroughly. then, it was sparks as you quickly and greedily kissed a new part of his lips each second.
you gasped at his sudden touch under your skirt. pleasure pooled downward while his fingers fought upward. it was an explosion of anticipation in your stomach as he lowered himself to a knee, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder. you steadied yourself on the top of the cabinets, the feeling of falling building in your core.
“i-,” you fought back a premature moan as you squirmed on the counter, “i think you’re enjoying this a little too much.”
he kissed up your calf, following after his fingers and responded without looking up, “i live to please.”
you shivered at the sensation of his lips on your skin. suddenly and without warning, there was so much more. you squeezed his shoulder, breaths getting more shallow with each passing second. dropping his fingers, he quickly returned to attend to the bundle of nerves with his mouth. his tongue swirled in circles, once again dizzying you.
“mhm,” you struggled to find words, “saints, nikolai.”
his name on your lips nearly drove him over the edge. he kept a hand situated on your inner thigh but greedily wrapped the other around the back of your head. you all but encouraged his haste, dropping your leg from his shoulder and hooking it around one of his. you rolled your hips into his, drawing him closer than ever before.
you studied the lines of his body with your hands, committing each muscle to memory. you indulged in the hands on activity. his hand rubbing up your leg did not help slow your heart rate, which you are entirely sure you did not want, either way. you littered his chest and stomach with marks from your lips.
“i leave next week for my service.”
your lips dropped from his neck. the absence of heat and the distinct thud of his pulse pounding in between kisses could not compare to the plummet of your heart into your stomach. suddenly, you felt the effects of the last hour’s consumption all at once.
you swallowed hard, fighting to keep down the alcohol. running your tongue quickly over your lips, you took advantage of the second it gave you to study the boy’s face in front of you. his eyes avoided yours at all costs, making it all the more difficult to read his emotions.
his lips were swollen. cheeks painted with the hues of a rosy sunset. you wanted to know what shade of blue his eyes appeared to be now, but he still would not look at you.
deciding to blame it on the inebriation, you allowed your next statement to go unfiltered, “so that’s it,” you hiccuped, “i was just going to be a way to get your mind off of that, huh?”
the impending breakdown of years of friendship turned your stomach in an unpleasant way. you muttered a curse or three under your breath as you gathered the layers of your now wrinkled skirt in your hands, moving to stand up unsteadily. the movement forced his hand off of your inner thigh. he kept his other around the curve of your waist, fingers tapping a nervous pattern. you moved to push those off, as well, but he gripped your hip bone.
“don’t,” he said easily, attempting a sultry confidence but his seduction had worn off.
a different kind of want pooled in the seas of his eyes. it was no longer desire but desperation. you were sure yours were a mirror image.
“don’t make it too hard for me to let you go,” you stumbled, “don’t leave me,” your words bubbled over drunken and quivering lips.
nikolai bit into his lip at the sight of your tears. it might have been painful but it was a superficial, barely skimming the surface kind of hurt. the sight of your eyes welling up and the unsteady rise and fall of your chest ran much deeper. he felt like a blade was slowly slicing himself in two jagged and incomplete pieces.
his breath skipped in his throat and he fumbled for his words just as much as he did your hands, “i-you,” he was not sure if it was smart to say all that he really wanted to but it was true, “come with me.”
you looked up at him, daring to hope that you could find truth in his eyes. composing yourself by clearing your throat, you ran a hand through your hair, “you know i can’t.”
he was quick with his retort, “but you’ve graduated now! i could surely convince my father of the need for such protection.”
as much as your heart drew to his, like it was made to match the opposing pole of his the magnet embedded in his own, you could not agree with him, “nikolai as much as i appreciate the offer,” you ignored the way his smile dropped for the sake of your own ability to continue, “what life would that give me? one where i rely on you to give orders so that i can be by your side?”
“i need you by my side.”
“but will you be on mine?”
maybe you did not know how to live without nikolai. you tried to stumble away from him but you barely made it a step before you started to slip. right as his hand went to steady you, you finally let the tears fall. they were wicked and raw and unforgiving.
suddenly, your head was pounding and the remaining layers of your dress seemed to suffocate you. you had nearly slept with your best friend and now, he was leaving. you fought the thoughts telling you—screaming at you—that he only did this now and not years before because he was leaving. he would not have to do damage control on your heart or the relationship once shared between the two of you.
“i’ve got to go,” you sniffed, pulling up your dress and wiping away both tears and shame from your eyes, “zoya will be worried.”
she would not be. in fact, your best friend had covered for your outings with nikolai on multiple occasions and knew to expect you late. what would really worry her—if she even possessed such capabilities of expressing this incredibly human emotion—would be the state you returned in, one you never got in after visiting nikolai.
“please,” nikolai begged, “i know that you could go anywhere. maybe at first you wouldn’t fit in but you’re the puzzle piece nobody even knows they’re missing yet,” his words gave you pause, “i know you hate being thought of as anything but your own person, of being a soldier in a royal’s world, a woman in a man’s,” he continued with a deep breath, “but i need you to complete me. please, let me live in your world.”
you wanted everything that he spoke of but his words started to fade away. your thoughts were too loud and overpowering. they demanded an audience. it was hard to get out of your own head but you could not let nikolai distract you.
“it would never work,” you sighed dismally, “we would never work.”
“let me try,” nikolai pleaded, turning your hands over in his and sounding so young despite the heavy topic.
“i can’t take you away from your service,” you disallowed with a shake of your head, “from your travels, nikolai. i know you want all of that—,”
“i want you.”
“but you don’t need me.”
“maybe that’s true,” nikolai relented with a unique fervor in his eyes, “maybe i don’t need to be in love with you but i want to.”
you had been speechless on only a few occasions. you always had words or could be sure to find some. it was something nikolai appreciated and an annoyance for zoya.
nikolai wanted to be in love with. you reminded yourself that this admission did not mean that he was, simply that he wanted to be. you wanted to be a lot of things and they had certainly not come to fruition. he was a fool for deeming it even probable—not in the world you both inhabited, the very different roles you played.
you stole a tear from his cheek with your thumb, “i need my best friend, nikolai,” you nearly choked on your words, “i need to love you in that way, understand?”
his frown deepened. you could tell he was fighting it. everything. you managed a smile because you expected him to do this. he could learn to fly with broken wings if he wanted to, if he needed to.
you took his jaw in your hands, delicately murmuring for only him to hear, “you are so good and i am so proud of you. don’t think that i will not be your fiercest protector wherever i am.”
nothing could exist forever. for this one moment, you wanted it to be. you wanted to allow him to hold you, to kiss you, to carry you. you knew he would do all of it and more. but, you could not submit him to that.
“i love you,” he breathed out with whatever air he could conjure. his forehead rested against your own and his thumbs swirled color into your cheeks.
“i love you back,” you whispered for your best friend, your pocket merlin, jack of all trades, your person.
you tried to close the door, but he had jammed his foot in it stubbornly. you could not find it in you to slam it shut on him. you could not hurt him. so, you left it cracked. you would turn the lights off but take every ray of his light that slipped through the cracks.
#nikolai lantsov imagine#nikolai lantsov x reader#nikolai x reader#nikolai lantsov#shadow and bone fic#shadow and bone#rule of wolves#ruin and rising#siege and storm#sab netflix#sab fic#sab fanfic#sab fanfiction#nikolai lantsov fluff
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I have ask my lovely fanfic write! What if we get Liams POV when Drake and Riley are star gazing at Lythikos. It never really says what Liam was doing when all of this was happening. And we know his room has the best view so how could he not see Drake and Riley laying in the snow? I wonder how he feels knowing he can’t be the one she’s with.
You know, it would have been great if Liam, in canon, had a chance to ask about what MC did when out with Drake, Maxwell, or Hana. As incredibly sweet as he is, he had to have suffered with twinges of doubt and jealousy. I would have loved for him to mention Drake and the MC becoming nearly inseparable at Lythikos, especially after Drake being a jerk in the previous chapters. Here's my take on Liam's POV during that scene.
@gkittylove99 @krsnlove @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09 @mom2000aggie @ofpixelsandscribbles @twinkleallnight @lodberg @amandablink @neotericthemis @mm2305 @sfb123 @iufilms
Masterlist
One Night in Lythikos
It had taken a while to finally break free of Olivia, but Liam managed to end her tour of her home by pleading exhaustion. He hated to do that to one of his oldest friends, but she was starting to act like their relationship was more than what it was. He didn't know how to gently break it to her that his own feelings remained unchanged since first meeting her at the age of six.
How could he possibly feel anything more for any of the ladies when a certain American continued to steal his heart?
Liam leaned against his bedroom door after bidding Olivia goodnight. He wished he could have returned downstairs to see Riley once more. Their few minutes of ice skating had not been anywhere near enough the amount of time he needed with her. His lips quirked into a fond smile as he thought of the glimpses he had seen of her with Drake snow skiing. Asking his best friend to look out for her had been the best idea he had ever had.
If he couldn't be with her all the time, at least he could rest easy in knowing she would be cared for by Drake and Maxwell. He couldn't think of anyone better for support and encouragement.
Maybe Hana. That particular lady had surprised him with her genuine sweetness. He was relieved that she was not a suitor who chased after him. After their cronut trip in the capital, he knew that Hana was nothing more than a friend and viewed him as such. He had no doubt that once he chose Riley that she would be a part of their close circle of friends. She had the ability, like Maxwell, to bolster their moods with kindness and a willingness to be of service.
He was thrilled that she and Riley had each other to help them through their first foray into Cordonian society. He had known most of his suitors his entire life and he sadly knew how catty and insulting some of them could be. Court life could be cut throat amongst the nobles. They rarely did anything without expecting something in return. Hana and Riley were both breaths of fresh air in his world. They were nice and thoughtful simply because it was who they were. He hoped once this was over that neither of them became jaded.
After stoking the fire in his fireplace, he poured himself a much needed drink, slipped his overcoat on, and stepped outside.
He walked past the hot tub and stood looking out over the snowy wilderness of Olivia's home. The quiet peacefulness reminded him how hectic his life had become these past few months. He missed his old life and the ease of being a spare to the heir.
He had never envied Leo's place in the royal line. All the expectations and pressures his brother had been under had worried Liam. So much of it was caused by Leo's rebellious nature, yet he knew his older sibling desired to do the right thing for Cordonia. He had tried to encourage him and help guide him towards what was needed from their future king. He had no idea that his efforts would be the central reason behind Leo's abdication.
Somehow, Leo had seen the king Liam could be before anyone else. It was perhaps the greatest compliment his brother had ever given him. Their late night walk though the capital had been eye opening. Once Leo placed the notion of Liam taking the crown in his mind, it felt right. It felt like he had finally found his purpose in this world of theirs. It felt like his destiny.
And now, as he stood there looking over this icy part of his kingdom, he felt the next part of his destiny seem to crystallize.
Riley.
Their meeting in New York followed by Maxwell seeing that the two were meant for something more than a chance encounter pointed at how special she truly was to Liam. Just the thought of her made him smile. The happiness he felt grow with every single moment spent near her was an unexpected delight that life had given him. It was as if she was his reward for not shirking his duty to his country and family.
Liam took a long sip as snowflakes began to fall around him. Flipping his collar up when a brisk breeze blew, he decided to go back inside for the night. He took one last look at the majestic mountains and took a step back. Movement in the valley caused him to pause.
His eyes narrowed as he tried to make out who was down there.
That's Drake.
He shook his head at his friend roaming the countryside without a coat on. Something must have happened to make him leave the manor without it. The man had always been a stickler with making certain one has the proper essentials when outside.
There was only one thing that Liam could think of to drive Drake into rushing out. He must have had a fight with a noble. Given the animosity between his friend and a certain duchess, he knew who had made the freezing temperatures more preferable to her hospitality.
"Drake! Wait!"
Liam froze at the sound of that particular voice. He immediately saw the woman he was unable to stop thinking of run through the snow.
"What are you doing out here, Brooks?"
What is she doing out here? More importantly, why is she chasing Drake?
"I wanted to see if you were okay." Riley replied.
Liam could tell just by Drake's posture that he was shocked. No one else in their lives had ever run after him to see what upset him.
Drake rubbed the back of his neck while speaking in too low of a tone for Liam to hear. The prince found himself leaning out over his balcony's railing, hoping to find out what they were saying.
His eyes widened when Drake pushed Riley down into the snow.
"Hey!" She yelled. "What was that--"
Drake fell back beside her.
Very close beside her.
"Yes, m'lady?"
Since when did Drake ever purposefully use m'lady?
"Drake, this is gorgeous!" Riley exclaimed.
What is gorgeous? What is going on?!
"There's nothing like a meteor shower, especially up here at this altitude."
Liam looked up and saw what they did. He had forgotten how often Drake and Savannah would chart and plan camping trips around these astronomical events. It had become a special time for the siblings once their father died.
And now he is sharing this with Riley.
An unusual feeling crept over Liam as he watched the two lay with their heads close together, pointing up at night sky. A bitterness intertwined with a growing anger that Drake got to do something like this with her. Something romantic.
If anyone should be enjoying this with Riley, it should be me! I'm the one she came here for! I'm the one who longs to simply see her smile. Drake has been cruel about her becoming a suitor. Why is he now being so nice? He got to spend the entire day with her while I was stuck with Olivia. Don't I deserve some part of Riley's time away from the court?
Liam couldn't believe his own thoughts and feelings. He had never been jealous of anyone before. Drake was more than just his best friend, he was family. Yet in this moment, Liam thought he could have easily banished him from the kingdom.
Guilt began to take over his frustration.
Why would I begrudge my best friend receiving kindness for once at court? No one gives him a chance or even an ounce of the respect he deserves. Riley has the ability to cut right through a person's outer appearance and see their true self. How could I selfishly wish to have that all to myself? I want the two people I care about the most to be friends. Don't I?
He watched as Drake stood up then reached to help Riley off the ground.
Is it my imagination or is he holding on to her hand a little too long?
Liam's eyes narrowed as they walked side by side back to the manor. At one point, Riley stumbled causing Drake to reach out and take her hand again.
"Can't have you hurting yourself out here." Drake told her. "The last thing I need is your death on my hands."
Riley's laughter drifted up to Liam.
"I think Bertrand might even be upset if that happened."
"Which is why we are going inside. Dealing with one Beaumont is hard enough." Drake added.
Is he...teasing her?
Liam lost sight of them as the pair headed for the front door.
He turned and headed back into his room, tossing back the rest of his scotch. Once inside, he tore his coat off and went to the fireplace. Bracing his hands on the mantle, he dropped his head forward while dealing with the new emotions flooding through him.
He needed to spend time with Riley. Not only for the sake of seeing what type of queen she would be, but he simply needed her. His mind went through possible activities they could do over these next few days.
Whatever I do, it has to be more romantic than what Drake did tonight.
That thought made his head jerk up. He stared at his reflection in the mirror above the mantle. Had he become a jealous man? Had Riley awakened this unknown part to his personality? Was he going to be petty enough to try and outdo what was most likely an innocent activity Drake had allowed her to take part in?
He honestly did not want to answer any of those questions. He doubted he would enjoy learning what kind of man he truly was.
He rubbed his hands over his face and turned back toward the balcony doors. His eyes fell upon the hot tub outside.
"I'll invite her to share that with me." He said softly.
Plans to do so and how to enhance the romance it presented began to form in his mind.
Liam knew he shouldn't feel this way, but he was bound and determined to make a memory for Riley be one of the two of them sharing an unforgettable romantic moment.
#choices the royal romance#liam x riley#drake x riley#trr olivia#trr hana#trr maxwell#choices the stories you play
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uhhhh david have you gotten the liahona yet bc idk how to feel about an article i found in there yesterday. it was pretty comforting and basic, but did use ssa the whole time. BUT the youth one was pretty crappy, it used ssa to the max and gave no real hope, was pretty bland and annoying about oh itll be find just believe and jesus and get hatecrimed <3 i would like to hear your thoughts on it, its the first time ive seen any queer topics in church magazines
Thanks for bringing these to my attention.
"Same-sex attraction" (SSA) is the preferred term of Church leaders. They say it's a way of not making it your identity, that this isn't part of who I am but rather is something I'm dealing with. In other words, people "have" same-sex attraction, not that they "are" gay or lesbian or bi.
There have been a few leaks from behind-the-scenes where the apostles say they use "same-sex attraction" because it's the term that people like least. People like it less that same-gender attraction or gay/lesbian. SSA includes the word "sex" and I guess the idea is it gets people to think of sexual acts and feel queasy.
SSA is the term normally used in Church magazines because they follow the lead of the First Presidency and apostles.
There's 3 items in the Church magazines this month about queer people! That's a lot for one month.
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The first is a bishop talking about how to understand and include LGBT people at church. After becoming bishop, 3 sets of parents contacted him distressed that their child is gay or transgender (I note that the parents used "gay." He also mentions contacting someone who 'identifies as gay").
His first recommendation is to follow the living apostles. (which explains why the bishop uses "SSA" even though everyone else around him used "gay"). It's a good idea for a local leader to find what the current leaders are saying because it's changed. He also says to read the Church's websites titled “Same-Sex Attraction” and “Transgender.” He provides two lovely quotes from those pages about diversity at church and being loving to people who are different.
His second recommendation is to not be afraid to talk to people who identify as gay, but instead try to have love for them and then let the Spirit guide you in what to say. We're just people, it shouldn't be scary to talk to us, that shows how different he thinks we are from the other people he interacts with in his ward.
The bishop's third suggestion is to speak to people who are familiar with LGBT "issues," share your testimony, and apologize for hurtful things you say. His list of people to contact for help understanding was a little disheartening because he starts with his stake leaders, ward leaders, other bishops, and so on, actual queer people were the last people on his list.
He continues by saying to pull aside members who are saying homophobic or transphobic things and give them some personal guidance, don't share private information that a member shares with the bishop, and just because someone has these "attractions" doesn't mean they're acting on them, and if they aren't "acting" on them then you can let them have a calling.
I have a few comments about the last few things. If no one corrects the homophobic/transphobic comments in public but instead privately suggests the person do better, every one who heard those comments thinks they stand unchallenged. The atmosphere created by the comments is unchanged. Especially if the bishop was present to hear those words, if they go uncontested then people think this is what is acceptable.
You'd think bishops know not to share private information a member shares with them. I've been around long enough to know that when a bishop is unsure what to do, he starts contacting his network (stake presidency, other bishops) asking for advice. Some bishops are discreet when doing this and others name the individuals.
While it seems basic, I recently had a counselor in a bishopric who didn't think gay people could get a temple recommend, that there's a zero-tolerance policy. That is an attitude that is outdated by a couple of decades, but it shows that people need to learn that simply existing as a gay or trans person doesn't automatically mean we are committing great sins.
I do find it interesting there appears to have been quite a few queer individuals in his ward, at least 4 or 5, and reading between the lines it seems they all stopped attending.
The bishop's heart is in the right place. I get he's following the Church leaders and that limits some of what he can do for queer people in his ward. I think his perspective primarily is of making the parents feel more welcome in the ward and not ostracized for having queer kids.
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The second article in the Liahona is written by a person with same-sex attraction and his work to overcome the shame he felt.
It's a much better article than the one written by the bishop. This person shares about the shame they felt at having gay feelings and working with a therapist to overcome that shame. He shares 3 lessons that helped him with this process.
1) God and Jesus love and accept him as he is. This is a message that doesn't often get conveyed to queer members and it's important they know this.
2) The Atonement of Jesus Christ offers healing. At first he was wanting the Atonement to cure him of being gay, but instead it helped him be healed of the shame he felt. I hear so many members who think the Atonement can change us from gay to straight, and that's not true. I'm glad he made this distinction. Our Heavenly Parents don't view being gay or trans as something that needs to be cured. I wish that message was taught more openly in the Church.
3) Build deeper connections and show compassion. Loneliness and feeling like you don't belong at church are two of the most troubling aspects an LGBTQ+ person has to deal with if they are active in the LDS Church. Developing close friendships will help with that. Also, queer people tend to be more compassionate than the average person and I believe it's because of the experiences we had to deal with of living in a heteronormative world that isn't made for us.
He includes a few useful tips at the end on how to engage with queer people.
All in all, a much better story than the one written by the bishop. He shared part of how it feels to be a gay member of this church, the idea that he should be ashamed for who he is, that being gay isn’t a burden, that he doesn't fit in.
I appreciated he said this is part of his layers of identity and at the core of his identity is that we're children of heavenly parents. That's more nuanced than the apostles who reject being gay has anything to do with identity and our only identity should be a child of God.
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The final story is from For the Strength of Youth. This piece seems like it's written by a queer person, but it's anonymous and given as general advice to show that people with same-sex attraction belong at church.
This article makes 3 main points. The first is that God loves you. That's true, although accompanying quotes to back up this principle aren't specifically about queer people.
The second point is "you belong." All sorts of people attend church, and God is no respecter of persons. Then they have a quote from Elder L. Whitney Clayton that people with same-sex attraction are welcome to come to church. To me, he's an odd choice to give this message as he led the Church's fight in California on Prop 8 to make gay marriage illegal again. Words aren't enough. Saying I'm welcome is not the same as making a welcoming climate.
The third point is that God will help you. They include a quote from Laura F. who experiences same-sex attraction. She writes about prayer, scripture study, temple and church attendance. However, she also says she doesn't know what her life will look like in 20 years, she seems to be leaving open the possibility her journey with God will lead her to romance and out of the church. I thought that was very honest and important.
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I found it noteworthy that nowhere in these 3 articles does it say being alone and celibate is good and what God wants.
I appreciate the idea that we can make our local congregations less homophobic/transphobic. The suggestions from the bishops shows that the bar is pretty low and it doesn't take much to make an improvement from how things are now.
The voices of the two gay members was important, what they shared was useful but nuanced, didn't make commitments to staying in the church long-term or testify that what the church requires is what God wants for them.
Even so, it's clear the publisher is very careful. They use "same-sex attraction" so often, I think readers would be surprised the preferred term of most same-sex attracted people would be gay, bi or lesbian. While they addressed some things, like homophobic/transphobic comments, feeling shame & not fitting in, I think they largely skated past the things that make queer people decide that this church isn't for them.
There's a part of me that says I'm glad we're having this conversation in the Church magazines, but another part that says this is too sanitized and doesn't get at the heart of things. These are very hopeful messages that make it seem that queer people could easily choose to stay in church if a few adjustments were made and if they only understood God loves them, which avoids the "doctrine" that excludes queer people from the highest blessings and joys and makes us essentially second-class citizens in the kingdom of God, at least according to our church.
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Concepts in Action (Glee)
Follow-up to Concepts of Insanity, spawned by a talk with @jwmelmoth
Slighty different mood than that one, but same base principle.
Returning to the loft after skating should be a relief after the awkwardness of doing such a loaded activity with his ex. Except it doesn't feel that good, and he's got some uncomfortable suspicions regarding Blaine's backpack.
“So, dad. You brought Blaine. Exactly when's his ticket back?”
“Day after tomorrow, same as mine.”
“Right. And where is he staying?”
“Well...” His dad's facial expression answers that question in a way that makes Kurt's heart sink.
Fan.Tast.Ic.
“So when you said I could return my present if I wanted to, exactly how was that supposed to work? It isn't, is it? I'm stuck with him whether I want to or not.”
“Kurt!”
His dad's voice is full of surprise and a bit of censor, but Kurt isn't going to let that influence him. His dad's crossed a line, and Kurt's not going to pretend otherwise.
“Remember the first Christmas after mom passed away? How you sat me down and apologized for my presents, before I'd even opened them, because you just weren't good at buying gifts? And remember how I told you that anything you'd gotten me would be perfect, because it was from you and I loved you? Yes?
“Okay. I still love you, but I'm taking the rest of that back. You coming here to tell me you have cancer was bad enough. Finding out you consider my ex an acceptable 'gift' for Christmas goes from bad to really shitty, and I don't know what you were thinking. Especially seeing as apparently you felt it was okay to tell him about your cancer before telling me.”
“I didn't want you to be alone.”
Kurt just stares, unable to process.
“I have cancer, and I knew you'd have a hard time to deal. I brought Blaine because I figured you'd need the support, the comfort.”
“And you brought my ex for that?”
Then again, support wasn't Blaine's strongest suit even when we were together, was it?
“Hey, you're the one who told me he wasn't just your boyfriend, he was your best friend too.”
“Yes, but that was before” he cheated on me “we broke up.”
His dad still doesn't seem to get it and Kurt can't take it.
“You know what, I need some air. I'm going to take a walk. You stay here, make sure Blaine stays out of my bedroom.”
Kurt starts out with going around the block, but he's still upset after and takes another loop, this time longer. It takes half an hour for him to feel ready to go back inside and deal.
Sitting on the couch with his dad and Blaine as they watch baseball is annoying as hell. Any other time, he'd take the closeness and read Vogue, especially now that his dad has admitted to knowing about it. But with Blaine actually watching and interacting with his dad about the game Kurt feels uncomfortable not doing the same. So he tries. Once he gives up and reaches for his magazine he heard his dad and Blaine joke about having bet about how long he'd hold out.
And then the next hit comes.
“So, Kurt, I know that this might be a bit weird for you, and you can totally say no if you want to,” sure, just like I could return the 'gift' of your presence, “ but I'm applying to NYADA for next year.”
Kurt sighs silently. Of course he is. The thing is, he can see it, the way Blaine probably assumes it'll play out. Blaine moving to New York, going to NYADA, buddying up to Rachel just like in high school... Kurt being expected to just take it, regardless of if he had been accepted or not. Any contacts Kurt might have gotten supposed to be at Blaine's beck and call, Blaine talking his way into Kurt's classes trying to replace him, like he had in Glee and with Cheerios... Kurt bending over backwards to make Blaine happy, just like in high school.
Because there would never be a chance of him being allowed to continue to say no to Blaine with them at the same school.
Thank god that's not going to happen.
And really, what was Blaine trying to do here? Pretending that Kurt's opinion mattered? The time for that would have been months ago, before applying.
“Oh really? You know what, I think NYADA might be perfect for you.” Not in terms of actual schooling, maybe, as Kurt's had the blinds torn off regarding Blaine's talent, but for the rest... He imagines Carmen Tibideaux subjecting Blaine to some of her special treatment. The definition of Karma, surely.
“Really?”
“Oh yeah. From everything I've heard you'd get along really well with the dean, and well, Rachel seems to thrive. Good luck.”
With no encouragement to keep talking about NYADA Blaine wanders off to grab something to drink and Kurt refocuses on his dad, trying to squeeze out as much of this visit as possible.
“Hey Kurt? What does NUY want with you?”
Kurt turns his head so fast it feels like he's in danger of whiplash.
“Are you going through my mail? Stop it!”
The words come out hard and he can see both his dad and Blaine react. He doesn't care though.
“You know, you going through my personal things wasn't cute when we dated either. Back then I just cared more about keeping the peace than about keeping my privacy. Since that's not a problem anymore, let me just be clear. I might be allowing you to stay here, but that's not an invitation in any way. Not to snooping, not to feeling at home, and not to getting back together.
“This is my home, and you are – putting it kindly – a guest. Behave with the decency I know your mom expects of you. If you can't do that then leave.”
He wishes Blaine would, but knows it's not likely.
“Buddy...”
“Kurt! You can't mean that you'd throw me out. Where would I go?”
Blaine looks like Kurt has done the verbal equivalent of throwing a bucket of ice water in his face. It has no effect on Kurt's resolve though.
“I neither know nor care. You either respect my home or you don't stay in it. This is New York. There are thousands of hotels and hostels.”
His dad just stares at him, as if he doesn't know who Kurt is anymore, and it hurts. Out of all the people liking Blaine better than him Kurt had never figured his dad would be one. And yet here he was, feeling the same way as he'd once felt with Finn.
“Buddy, you're being a bit harsh here, don't you think? Yes, I'll admit that maybe bringing Blaine without warning you was a little...impulsive, but why are you so angry? And don't be so hardnosed about getting back together, for your own sake.
“Like I said earlier, love's important. Holding on to love is important. I don't want you to throw away what you and Blaine have, not when you never know what will happen, or how long you'll have that opportunity. It's a cruel world, Kurt, but having someone to share with makes it better.”
Kurt takes a deep breath and tries, really really tries to keep his bitterness in. He's not doing that great a job.
“Holding on to love is important, sure. But there's such a thing as holding on too long and too hard. Blaine and I broke up for good reasons, and I wish you'd respect that.”
It's like his dad isn't even hearing him though.
“You know, your mom and I found it hard being apart too.”
Kurt did know. As a kid he'd loved hearing about his mom's semester in France, and he'd been told enough to know that it'd been tough. He'd read some of their letters to each other though, and he doubts either of them dealt the way Blaine did.
“So? Yes, being apart is hard. But that isn't an excuse for everything. I didn't want to get you involved in all of this, but since that's obviously not going to be an option anymore, fine. Blaine cheated. He felt I didn't pay enough attention to him, you know, between finding a job and a place to stay, and making enough money to pay the bills, and generally trying to make myself a life here after he practically pushed me to go here.
“And so he went and found someone else to give him that attention.”
He practically spits out the last sentence. It feels good to finally allow himself to say it, but the look on his dad's face doesn't feel as good.
If he was less angry maybe he'd be able to stop himself, worry about his dad's heart. But the anger's been simmering too long for that.
“That's why we broke up, and that's why I find the idea of getting back together objectionable. And you can talk about holding on to love until you're blue in the face, but I'm not the one who needs that lecture.”
He swallows down the lump in his throat, but goes on.
“As for the rest of it, are you seriously suggesting I take back my cheating boyfriend because that's better than being alone? Or because I don't know how long I'll live? Because if you are... What's next, dad? Telling me I should marry him because you and mom didn't get enough time together?
“If any of those things are going through your head you are also welcome to leave. I'll never not welcome you in my home, dad, but I need you to respect me. I need you to not act like you're putting someone else's son above yours.”
That's a warning that hits the target, and it's obvious that Burt Hummel remembers a row of uncomfortable talks about Finn. He deflects by turning on Blaine though.
“You...”
“No, dad. It is over and done with. Leave him be. Just... Just leave it alone. I don't want to take anymore fighting. Please?”
They stare at each other and for a while Kurt wonders if he should have done as he normally does and just backed down. Swallowed down his hurt and anger and frustration, kept quiet about the injustices done to him, and just pretended to be okay. Tried to not upset his dad, and risk his health.
Except he's done that for years, and it's clearly not working. His dad's health has failed again, with the cancer – and no matter how good the prognosis, or the treatments available, a cancer diagnosis is a health failure. Plus his dad is trying to fix him and Blaine, out of some misguided idea that they're going to be the next Burt-and-Lizzie, and he never would have done that if Kurt'd been honest about the cheating instead of blaming distance.
At least Kurt hopes he wouldn't.
“Sometimes, dad, first loves end. They end because of death, or because they're not meant to last, or because of something else. And then you meet someone else, and they make your life amazing. I'm not going to deprive myself of that by holding on to something that's ended. Just like you didn't. You found love again. I will too.
“I just need to be allowed to do so.”
They keep staring at each other, and then his dad nods. Kurt can't help it, he throws himself in his dad's arms, with tears already beginning to fall.
As they hug Kurt hear Blaine muttering in the background about finding a hotel, but he doesn't care. The door to the loft closing feels like it's closing on him and Blaine too, and it's such a relief.
After several minutes they let go. Both need to remove traces of crying, but that's good.
Once they're seated again Kurt searches for something to talk about, but his dad beats him to it.
“So, NYU? Or should I pretend I didn't hear that?”
“No! I have been thinking about things, about school, and I was an idiot for not applying to more schools last year. So, I did some research and then I did something about it. I've applied to half a dozen schools, and I've already been accepted to one for the fall semester. I don't know if there's any school willing to take me for the spring, but if there's not I'll just keep working and try to save up money.”
“And what about NYADA?”
There's no judgment in his dad's voice, and Kurt smiles as he tries to describe the situation diplomatically.
“It's...not looking as good in my research as I thought, so while I did reapply there I'm not sure I want to go there. I really shouldn't have listened to Rachel last year, because as it turns out? NYADA actually isn't the most prestigious school for performing arts, and it's probably not even the best for me. I guess we were both a little starstruck, you know?”
The game is back on, but they ignore it and talk, and it's everything Kurt would have wanted.
O--o---o--O
Months later as classes start up Kurt receives voicemail after voicemail about Blaine starting at NYADA, about how bad it is that Kurt's not been accepted, about them meeting up. Kurt ignores them as he did the calls and walks into vogue.com with a smile.
He doesn't feel the least bad about not getting in. Hell, he didn't even apply for the fall semester.
No, Kurt's happy where he is, with his job at vogue.com, a spot at the New School and a couple of scholarships helping pay the way. Oh, and a new boyfriend, which also contributes to his happiness.
Turns out? Acting in new ways can get you new and rewarding results. All you got to do is try.
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Skateboards and ice cream trucks
pairing: Connie Springer x gn!reader
genre: crack? fluff? SFW
warning: mentions of edibles.
A/N: this is for @odmlevis's Summer Solstice event. Honestly, this was really fun to write cause it doesn't really make any sense but I think it's funky fresh and fun so that's what matters. Also, who wouldn't wanna do this with Connie on a hot summer day, yk?
The sun shines onto the heated driveway where you and Connie lay. Both of your legs sprawled out as you watch him roll his skateboard towards you again. The plan was to teach you some new tricks since he bought you your own board, but the heat is actively sucking the energy out of you both. It’s honestly kind of pathetic that after practicing for two weeks straight, the only trick you know is an ollie. Luckily, Connie is a very patient man when it comes to you, and each time you show him how fast you can go in a straight line, he hollers like Gwen Stefani. But now you’re both laying down, feeling how the pavement is basically cooking the back of your thighs.
Connie looks over at you and pouts a little, his eyes squinting even behind his sunglasses, “why’s it so hot?”
With a confused scowl, you reach over and kick his shin, “The earth is flat, you idiot. The sun is directly facing us.”
Replying with a “tch,” he sits up to take his muscle tank off, looping it through his belt loop before tying it securely. Turning his head towards you, he smirks and reaches over to tug at your crop top, “I think it’ll help if you take your top off too. You know, it’s less restricting.”
“Stupid,” you mumble with another kick to his leg.
Before Connie can reply, you both freeze when you hear a familiar tune. The ice cream truck in your area is slightly different from most because they don’t just sell ice cream. They also sell edibles. A weird combo that Erwin, the blond stonk that owns the truck, believes is the best way to make money when a bunch of young adults live in a neighbourhood together. One might say Erwin is really smart for this, but at the same time, Connie has been coming to the truck every week, and every week he convinces Erwin to give him his signature brownie sundae for free. He’s playing Doja Cat through the speakers, and the two of you look at each other before getting up and hopping on your boards to find him.
Connie is exponentially better than you at skating, so he yanks your arm towards him before lacing your fingers together. With a kiss on the knuckles, he speeds off down the hill with you screaming in his ear about going too fast. Frankly, he doesn’t care right now because he’s about to scam Erwin for another free sundae.
As you two zip through the residential streets, you spot the truck at the bottom of the hill, but it’s a steep hill that’s probably even too steep for Connie to skate, but of course, he doesn’t care. Right as you’re about to get dragged down this extremely dangerous hill, Erwin’s voice booms through the speaker. “You’re not getting free food today, Connie. You’ve been putting it on my tab, but I don’t wanna pay for you anymore,” he says in an apologetic tone.
Your boyfriend was not having any of this. He turns back to you and scoffs, “this guy, who does he think he is? We’re getting fucking zooted off his triple chocolate, chunky mama, rich boy, gooey, artery-blocking, brownie.”
Looking down at the truck, you see it transform into a monster truck as it speeds off, this time driving much faster than before. Was it even legal to have a transforming truck like that drive-through street with a speed limit of 40 km/hr?
It didn’t matter to Conman cause he takes his phone out and presses a few buttons before his skateboard grows two engines, and yours turns into a desk chair with a seatbelt for safety. You slowly turn to him, and he’s giving you a pointed look, “we got a truck to chase, babe, strap in.”
Wearily sitting down and buckling the seatbelt, you feel Connie grab the chair before his engines rev up. Your whole life flashes before your eyes when you two start rolling down the hill, his board now travelling double the speed limit. The wind in your face starts to make your eyes water, but your boyfriend is determined to chase after the truck cause he starts yelling.
“GET BACK HERE! HOW DO YOU KNOW I DON’T PLAN ON PAYING TODAY? I’M TRYNA GET MY BABY TO TRY YOUR SHIT, YOU STONKER!”
The truck is in sight, but it’s serving someone right now and Connie screams, watching him hand his brownie off to someone else. Feeling you two slow down, you notice his engines are gone, but you’re still in your chair. He looks down at you and whispers something before gaining more speed.
Connie yells, and as the two of you zip through the area, he pushes your chair between the truck and the person who had just bought the brownie. You and your greedy raccoon hands snatch that bitch from them and ride off. The two of you laugh and ride towards the sunset, ready to enjoy your brownie sundae that just so happened to be free of charge.
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#please don’t ask me what this is#ily riz#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan crack#aot x reader#shingeki no kyojin#connie springer x reader#Connie springer#Connie springer x gn reader#connie springer fluff#Connie springer crack
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We Met Within This Screen (chapt. 5)
[Donnie x fem reader]
sfw, chapt. 4 here
Just as Donnie had predicted, the night air was cold on his scales. Right upon leaving, Mikey brought up to Leo going in pairs this time, to cover more ground, he said. An extra thorough patrol. Donnie honestly couldn't make up his mind and so by then he was flying by the seat of his pants, not objecting to Mikey's plan, but also not agreeing. He doubted Leo would be convinced, anyway. They didn't do duo patrols that often.
"I was thinking we could split up this time, you know, me and Donnie, you and Raph?" suggested Mikey, closing the manhole behind himself.
"I thought you liked it when we're all together," Leo commented.
Donnie shot Mikey a look, trying to tell him to cool it, but he shrugged, "Come on, it'll be like some kind of training or...something," Mikey went behind Leo and shook his shoulders, "aren't you into that?"
Internally, Donnie facepalmed. Unless he actively tried to stop this, it was going to happen, wasn't it? One way or another, probably; it all depended on how Leo was feeling that night. Raph was indifferent. He didn't care whether they were all together or in pairs, just that he got to flex his combat skills some. If he could, he'd go out and do it on his own, even.
Leo looked around, considering Mikey's suggestion. "Okay," he agreed, eventually. "You and Donnie take East, Raph and I will cover the usual route and then—"
"No," Mikey interjected. Both Leo and Raph's brows furrowed as they stared at their brother. He motioned toward Donnie, "Me and Donnie can take that, you guys just go on ahead," he smiled. "You know I like checking out the skatepark!"
"No skating," Leo said.
"I'll just watch whoever's there, then." He pouted.
Raph snorted. "Yeah, make sure he actually pays attention, Donnie."
"As usual," Donnie sighed, and looked at Leo.
"Well, what do you think, Don?"
The decision is up to me?
Turns out it was his all along, but he wanted to feign innocence in saying that Mikey was the one to drag him through it. Easier to not take responsibility and let life happen at you rather than making a conscious effort, at times.
"I guess we can do that," Donnie answered reluctantly. He could have said no. Why didn't he? In the corner of his eye, he saw Mikey beam, giving him a discreet thumbs up.
"Alright, meet back here by four AM, and if either of you run into big trouble, call. We'll come," Leo said. "Same for us."
"Yeah, we'll holler for ya," added Raph dismissively. "And nah, a big dog doesn't count as trouble, Mikey." He sounded gruff, but in actuality, he was still chuckling to himself over that years later. After they got over being annoyed that he had called them from that far while they were on a supply run. Chased by a junkyard dog—some of their least favorite parts about visiting those places.
"Hey, it was mean! And way fast!" Mikey protested as they parted ways, them taking to the East and red and blue the opposite way.
As per course, Donnie and Mikey took their normal route, and his heart skipped a beat when they met the scene of their last run-in with criminals. Not because of them, no, but because of the familiar apartment building that was now more intimidating than he'd expected. They circled the area like they normally would have, but Mikey came to stop them on a roof just opposite of the complex, eyes searching each window. Obscured by the height of the building, he sat on the edge.
Donnie didn't know what to do with himself. He stood back a good ten feet, somehow paranoid of being spotted even though he knew it was not possible from their angle in the complex. Mikey was comfortable, and weirdly at peace as he sat there quietly on the edge, assumed to be waiting for his brother to make a move. But Donnie was stuck in place.
"What are you waiting for, D?"
The sudden question broke him from his stillness. It was true; he didn't know what he was waiting for.
"I—I don't know what you want me to do, what are you thinking?" Donnie asked in return, stepping back a little further as he noticed movement behind the curtains of a lit window.
"Get your phone out and talk to her," Mikey told him, waving his hand at the apartments. "What did we come out here for if you aren't gonna make it right, bro? Do some smooth talk, tell her you're sorry and you wanna get to know her better…"
"This is absolutely a ridiculous plan," Donnie said, though as if his hands had thought of their own, they reached for his phone, and a moment later he was looking at the messages. Still nothing. Radio silence on both of their ends. How would he approach it? "I'm sorry I went from hot to cold so fast. Please talk to me again." Too strong. "Sorry, can we get a redo?" Too casual. "I'd like to apologise for being a jerk." Okay, that's just not good. Reconciling was going to be as difficult as he'd thought it would be.
Mikey came over and looked at his phone screen and his brother floundering, thumbs stuttering across the keyboard, deleting the text, retyping it over and over again for perfection where he wasn't going to find any–
"I got this, let Love Doctor Mikey handle it," he said, taking the phone right from Donnie's hand.
"You've never been in a relationship, not even talked to anyone, how would you—"
Mikey shushed him. Donnie was going to snatch the phone away but he spun around, draping himself over his shoulder. "Just let me work my magic, dude!"
Donnie couldn't watch; he had to turn away. How sure he was that Mikey was going to say something uncalled for, something weird or bone-headed, and the wait was killing him. What if she didn't even respond? Was that better than doing damage control for Mikey's shenanigans? For someone usually decisive, he could not for the life of him make up his mind about what he wanted at that very instance.
The phone vibrated.
Mikey cheered. "Got her on the line, now you just gotta reel 'em in," he grinned, handing the phone back to Donnie.
"Hey :/
I thought you wanted to stop?"
Mikey kept trying to lean over to catch a glimpse of the screen, but Donnie felt that it was a personal moment, so without skipping a beat, he activated the electric current in his staff and poked it behind him into his brother's plastron.
"Fine," Mikey whined. He stepped in one last time, "But don't hold out on me here!"
Trying to find an graceful way to patch this all up, Donnie replied:
"I apologise for that, and I know you probably want an explanation, but it's hard to explain
Moment of weakness?
I guess...
Anyway. I'm not expecting you to suddenly be cool with it, if you don't want to talk to me I understand
Sorry."
Mikey noticed Donnie's dismal expression and he mellowed out accordingly, standing close but not putting a hand on him, nor saying anything. He didn't watch the phone, but Donnie's face and slumped shoulders. He'd thought it would have been going better by now.
"I won't lie, I'm still confused
But if you're going through something, I'm right here for you
Don't worry about it. Just don't give me a spook like that again, I thought it was me
lol
Okay it's not funny but this is a little awkward"
Donnie's heart sank reading that. He'd made her feel bad, even question herself over his problem. Never had he wanted to make her think it was her that drove him off.
"No, no, it was never you
Again, I can't really explain…
Is it okay if we just try this again?
I understand if not."
"Jeez Bo, I already said it's alright
I WANT to keep talking to you, you're cool
So let's forget about it, yeah?
Friends again :) "
And like that, his heart took a leap. A smile slowly spread across his face, and without looking away from the screen, grabbed Mikey by the shell, pulling him toward. "Look at this!" he exclaimed.
"You see it too?" he quirked, pointing at the apartment complex across the road.
Donnie paused and looked over his shoulder at him, "What?"
On one of the balconies sat a lone girl, on her phone, and if Mikey looked hard enough, he could see a smile. Definitely a smile.
"Ah!" yelped Donnie quietly. He scurried back against the wall of the attached building behind him, as far as he could.
"Dude! Come on, this is perfect!" Mikey nudged him, and when he didn't hop up onto his feet, dragged his brother near the edge of the roof. Donnie was boneless but unwilling, his mind stuck on the fact that she thought he was cool. Him, cool. Was he? She didn't know even the half of it. She didn't know he was a martial artist, technically a genius, and that he'd gone against some of the worst the city had to offer. And without that, she still thought he was cool, as an average guy.
As average as what my circumstances will allow me to be.
Feet dragging all the way, Donnie's stomach did a flip as they met the ledge, peering carefully over it in a crouch. They were prone, watching the girl who was completely unaware of their presence. He was, simply put, enraptured, for a second there, studying her features as much as he could from where they were. The details of her face were not distinct due to the distance, but he could tell she was both nothing like he'd imagined and so much more. For once, he didn't immediately question the validity of the situation; there was no "it could be a coincidence", or "it's too unlikely that she would be out just as they were". Not right away. But it hit him when Mikey spoke.
"You're so lucky, D," he said wistfully. "Really." Head rested on his forearm, his gaze fell on not one thing, but the whole scene, a somber smile gracing him. He was excited, happy for his brother. But deep down, Donnie knew that though Mikey wasn't envious of him in a resentful way, it had to have stung to witness such a thing unfold for someone not himself. Their youngest had always craved connection the most. He looked away from the girl, "I wasn't gonna let you throw away an awesome chance, was I?"
Releasing a heavy breath, Donnie crawled away from the edge, but his eyes remained on that balcony. It was weird to watch someone who didn't know they were being watched. Not in that context.
"I...guess I may be," Donnie responded. But it would only get more complicated from there. His phone vibrated, breaking his trance, and the message he found read:
"Anyways, with that out of the way, what are you doing?"
Just watching you from a roof, nothing much, Donnie thought.
"Currently out enjoying the night"
"Isn't it kinda cold?"
"What about you?"
He knew what he meant, because he was there watching her as a chilled breeze rolled through, but she told him she wasn't doing anything. Only relaxing and talking to him.
It took him a few minutes to get his bearings. To know that he now had tangible evidence that she was a girl, an ordinary person, and that said person really thought he was cool. Worth the effort. He felt exceedingly difficult for not being able to give her a rightful explanation, but comforted by the fact that he wasn't being demanded of one. He felt light. Almost weightless, with Mikey next to him instead of his other cynical, skeptical brothers. For a moment, he had nothing to worry about.
From across the roof, he could still see the yawn escape her mouth. Probably an indicator that it was time to wrap things up. He didn't want her to stay up too late; it was already odd that she was up at such an hour, almost two AM, but glad nonetheless.
"Are you tired?"
"Yeah
I think I'm gonna hit the hay
So goodnight, Bo
Talk to you later (☞゚ヮ゚)☞"
She got up, leaning on the railing which faced them.
"I want to stay up with you but—"
Donnie sucked in a sharp breath as she looked up, just barely able to see from underneath the balcony above her. He snagged the strap on Mikey's shell and yanked him back with him away from the edge of the roof, taking cover behind the wall.
"Shit," hissed Donnie, "do you think she saw us?"
These shells, they make us look so big!
"Relax, bro, even if she did, it was only a little bit. Besides, we could be anyone from this far, they don't have pigeon vision."
"You mean 'eagle vision'?"
"They're both birds!"
Donnie deadpanned and peeked over the wall. She'd gone in. Three minutes later, he hadn't gotten any texts yet about something weird on the rooftops, so he could finally relax, groaning lightly. "Too close," he breathed out, "Mikey, we need to go, Leo's going to notice we're not back in time if we don't hurry up and get the rest of this route done."
"Already on it," he whooped, vaulting onto the next roof.
As Donnie was scaling the wall of the attached building, he felt his phone vibrate, and curious, he checked it one last time before getting on his way.
"One question before I go
You ever see stuff you can't explain but even if you did you'd sound crazy?"
Oh, no.
"No, I don't."
Chapter 6
#donatello x reader#tmnt donnie#tmnt fanfiction#donnie x reader#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt x reader#tmnt 2016#tmnt 2014#tmnt bayverse#donatello#leonardo#raphael#michelangelo#fanfiction#leo#donnie#raph#mikey#tmnt
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Traditions - Shouto Todoroki x Reader
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, THEY BELONG TO KOHEI HORIKOSHI
DAY THREE OF 25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS - 25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS MASTERLIST - MAIN MASTERLIST
What were you supposed to get the boy who could have anything he wanted? That was the question that had been plaguing your mind for the entirety of November and now December. Shouto Todoroki, your loving and caring boyfriend, was the hardest person you had ever shopped for in your life. Even Momo was easier to shop for - she actually really liked homemade baked goods since when she’s training she has to eat a ton of processed stuff. You were currently at the mall, picking up things for the rest of your friends with Shouto, while also trying to scope out what interests him in certain stores.
“So who’s next?” He asks as you scroll through the list on your phone.
“Hmm… I think Midoriya.” You respond, looking around to see all of the stores surrounding you. A certain one grasps your attention with the bright yellow, blue, and red colors. Shouto follows your gaze and he gives you a small smile as it lands on the huge All Might themed store.
“Well you're definitely gonna find something in there.” He chuckles, gently tugging your hand as the two of you walk towards the door.
You had finally left the mall with several bags being carried by the both of you, but you still had no clue what to get for your boyfriend. After Shouto dropped off the bags in your door and gave you a quick kiss goodbye - he apparently had some important business to attend to - you decided enough was enough. You scroll through the contacts on your phone to find Fuyumi, Shouto’s older sister, and press the call button. You’re only able to hold it to your ear for a few seconds before she answers.
“Y/N! How are you?” Fuyumi’s sweet voice filtered through your phone.
“I’m good, how are you?” You ask politely, making your way to sit down on your bed.
“Fine, just doing some stuff around the house. I’m glad you called though, I haven’t been able to talk with you for a while.” You heard some clinks and clatters in the background and quickly assumed she was doing the dishes.
“Oh, no problem! I actually have a question if you’re not too busy.” You say, letting your shoulder press your phone to your ear so you could start taking all of your purchases out of their bags.
“I’ve got time, shoot away!” She says cheerily, causing a smile to grace your face.
“It’s about Shouto-”
“What about Shouto?” A deep but happy voice piped up through your phone.
“Hi Natsuo!” You greet, smoothing the blouse you got for Ochaco out.
“Hey kiddo! What’s up?” You could almost feel his wide grin radiating through your screen.
“Was asking Fuyumi a question, but you can answer it as well. I wanted to know what kind of stuff you and Shouto did when you were younger around the holidays to get an idea of what he likes to do. I was trying to find something to get him for Christmas, but I feel like if he wanted anything he would have already gotten it, so I want to do something with him.”
“Uhmm…” You hear both of them exchange awkward words, so you pipe up instead.
“I mean my brother and I would have gingerbread house competitions, go ice skating, and have movie marathons, but I don’t really know if that’s something Shouto would be into .” You say, opening the last of your bags which contained a snow globe with a polar bear cub in it for Koda.
“Y/N, uh… Shouto’s never really done any of that before.” Natsuo says. You frown a bit, but shake your head.
“Oh - is there anything your family does especially for the holidays? I mean I know your dynamic is a bit… different than others, but I’m sure you found a way to celebrate...right?” You asked warily.
“That’s a really sweet thought but umm… Dad didn’t really let us mingle, so he’s never experienced any usual holiday activities. I mean he celebrated with us, don’t get me wrong, but we never really got to do fun things as siblings.” Your jaw drops. You remember playing with your brother in the snow being one of the happiest memories during the holidays and you can’t believe Endeavor didn’t grant Shouto that. All of a sudden, a lightbulb seemed to come to life above your head and a grin replaced your frown.
“Thank you! Thank you so much for telling me, I know what to do!” You exclaim, clasping your hands together. You bid adieu to your boyfriend’s siblings and immediately start planning.
“Y/N, I don’t understand what’s going on. Why did you call me out here?” All bundled up in a puffy jacket that made him look even cuter than ever, snow pants, and a pompom beanie. Shouto looks at you with a raised eyebrow.
“We are going to have the best day ever.” You state, grabbing his gloved hands in yours. “We’re going to make a snowman, then we’re gonna bake some cookies, maybe make some hot cocoa, and watch some Christmas movies.”
“W-what?” He manages, a blush spreading across his cheeks.
“Merry Christmas! I was trying to think of something to get you, but I kept coming up with blanks. So, I figured we should celebrate our first Christmas together by implementing some solid traditions.” You saw his shocked expression turn into one of somewhat embarrassment as he looked to the side.
“Y/N, your idea sounds great, but I’ve never done those activities before. What happens if I mess them up?” Concern flickers across his eyes, but you give him a reassuring smile and cup his cheek with your mittened hand.
“It’s perfectly fine if you ‘mess them up’, even though I’m sure you won’t. These activities are specifically designed to be fun, stress free things to do, okay?” Shouto nods and gives you a small smile. You give him a quick kiss and your day of fun begins.
Building a snowman was certainly a feat. You had to teach Shouto how to roll the snow to create bigger bases than the average snowball, which completely enthralled him. It was cute to see him so excited about how the snow managed to get that big, and he even put a little spin on the snowman, creating a “frozen pond” right next to him and an ice fishing rod so that he could go fishing.
Next was the cookies. Even though he really hadn’t cooked that much in his life, like many things, your boyfriend picked it up quite quickly. The two of you would perform a quiet dance in the kitchen, dropping two sticks of butter in one bowl and pouring a cup of sugar in another. What Shouto didn’t know, however, was flour’s tendency to create a mini explosion. His face when it poofed up in his face was priceless. You laughed so hard your stomach hurt which only made Shouto take some more flour and throw it on you so you were matching.
Finally, you made it to the end of the day. Both of you were cuddled up on your bed in your dorm watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Your back was pressed up against his chest and his arms were around yours, his left hand drawing soft lines on your skin, heat following his finger tips. You were so happy. Shouto really looked just ecstatic for the entire day, enjoying every activity you came up and even adding his own personal spin to them. You were so engrossed in those happy memories from earlier in the day that you didn’t hear Shouto say your name.
“Y/N,” he says in a velvety voice, shaking you a little to gain your attention.
“Hmm?” You hum in response, telling him that you were listening.
“I have something for you.” You turn around to look at him and you gasp with delight. In his hands dangled the daintiest little locket you had ever seen. It was a pretty silver oval with the tiniest little hinge on its side.
“May I?” You ask, motioning to open it. He gives you a soft smile and nods. You open it very carefully and you melt at what you see inside. It was your initials next to his with a heart outline.
“I know you don’t like obvious jewelry so I didn’t go for the heart locket, but I still wanted to get the meaning across. Do you like-” You cut him off with a searing kiss. You cup both of his cheeks in your hands and press him close to you.
“I love it, Sho. Thank you so, so much.” He grins at you and opens the clasp.
“Do you want me to put it on for you?” He asks. You nod quickly and turn your head back around. His hand sweeps your hair to one side and swings the necklace around your neck so that the clasp was in the back. His fingers danced lightly across the back of your neck, sending a tingle down your spine. He closes the little clasp and smooths it out. You reach up to touch the little locket and smile, turning back around to look at him.
“To new traditions,” you toast, arms wrapping around his neck.
“To new traditions.”
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The thing that feels disingenuous about Miles answer about Ironwood is that he was part of the writing staff that framed the general as a cool character to start with. I do think that the signs about Ironwood's evil were clear since V2 and in V7 he was an outright dictator from episode 1. Nonetheless, he was still consistently framed as a cool character, someone you can trust and rely. You don't get to blame the fans for liking a genocide if you was the one framed him as cool in the first place.
I actually don’t think being cool is the problem. If we’re satirizing and/or making a statement about the toxic masculinity that leads to something like a dictatorship, then being “cool” is a crucial part of that. People don’t leverage the power they have by looking lame, they do so by appearing desirable, enviable, awesome. Being in the military is supposedly “cool.” Being a white guy with a giant gun is supposedly “cool.” Having power over an entire nation is supposedly “cool,” etc. If you only make such characters look revolting — even when they are — then you miss one of the main recruitment tools for this kind of rhetoric. Any version of Ironwood that’s meant to make a point about the dangers of following someone like him needs to make him look “cool” and then deconstruct that, pointing out the ways in which this cool veneer is a lie meant to pull you in. To do otherwise is to claim that evil people are always easy to spot. Making your villains “uncool” implies that the people who do appear cool in real life must be fine then. That good looking, charismatic leader is great. Why would I look critically at his actions? He’s too cool to be evil.
My personal problem is not that “They made the dictator look cool and we can’t possibly expect the audience to tell the difference between someone who is truly good and someone who is just using various Cool Points to skate by” because that would be the point of such a character — the work the show needs to do. My problem is that RWBY didn’t do that work. At least, not to the extent they needed to. Rather than making Ironwood a truly heinous character (prior to Volume 7 ‘s shooting, I mean) and allowing the audience to learn how appearing cool can’t hide that, they just made him good person. Straight up. Flawed, absolutely, but no worse than any of the other character on screen, particularly post Volume 6 when our heroes are frequently putting people in danger, seizing power, telling lies, keeping secrets, and generally acting in the ways we’re supposedly meant to condemn Ironwood for. Since talk of Miles’ vid last night I’ve seen three separate “Ironwood was always bad, idk how people can miss the signs” posts and those people are half right. There 100% were signs we were meant to pick up on. The problem is RWBY then went and deconstructed those signs. Ironwood didn’t just bring an army to a peace festival, he brought an army to an event he had good reason to believe wasn’t peaceful — and he was right. Ironwood didn’t wrest control from Ozpin (using a series of checks and balances that exist for this very purpose...) because he has an obsession with being in control, he did so because he honestly believed Ozpin was putting people in danger — and he was right. Ironwood didn’t step up post-Fall because he arrogantly believes he’s the only one capable of saving Remnant, he did so because he’s actually the most qualified: a fully trained huntsmen leading an Academy (like Ozpin) with an army and knowledge of this secret war. What, was Ironwood supposed to read the script and wait for the group of dropout teenagers to arrive and save the world instead? To say nothing of how his power and responsibility are framed as sacrifices, not something he sought out. Ironwood doesn’t want to be the sole ruler here. His desperate relief at having allies again proves it. Good setup for the rise of a dictator would have been Ironwood being cagey with his information and exerting control over the group... not telling them everything, not giving them more power, not letting them keep the Lamp, not taking arrest off the table so as to keep them in line, and generally doing the opposite of everything he did do to share that responsibility and power. RWBY got very good at giving us the first half of these red flags — he has an army, he’s stubborn, he’s hurting Mantle, etc. — but then time and time again introduced a context that changed that flag dramatically: they are fighting literal monsters, he’s no more stubborn than our title character, hurting Mantle is a consequence of a plan he thinks will help the whole world and our heroes back this. Those who insist that Ironwood was 100% a villain in the making (or a villain already) prior to shooting Oscar are working from their assumption of what his archetype represents, not what RT actually put on screen. Because RT is just really bad at writing a dictator character. They didn’t have the skill to manage someone who only appeared good on the surface, let alone a character with the complex nuance of wielding “coolness” to their advantage, which is why in Volume 8 they had to resort to cartoon villainy with literal, evil spotlights. It’s not that the audience is too dumb to pick up on those red flags, it’s that RT couldn’t manage to plant them without continually introducing valid justifications. You can’t say, “Bringing an army is a bad thing. Look at this dictator coding!” without me going, “Yeah, except in the fictional world you created an army does not represent the problems it does in our real life societies. This isn’t a guy amassing soldiers to go after oil, he’s trying to protect people from monsters. Not even metaphoric monsters acting as stand-ins for a minority group. Literal, evil monsters!” RWBY ignores its own context and a good chunk of the fandom ignored it too.
The problem with that (besides the general frustration of someone ignoring parts of canon to forward a particular reading) is that the fandom’s go-to claim is that everything is meaningful — and it’s a reading the writers very much support. Fans do not, as the above attests, push for a simple reading of, “Don’t think too hard about it. Just take the surface reading and run with it” which, while still frustrating, would have at least been a valid stance. Rather, they insist very strongly that nuance and depth are what drive the show. From the song lyrics to a tiny detail in the opening, everything is important and if you don’t accept that then you can’t appreciate RWBY’s complexity.
“Okay,” I said. “Then in that case Ironwood coming around to Ozpin’s position is meaningful too? Glynda — one of our best and most faultless characters — supporting him is meaningful? Flipping his gun, defending Weiss, Qrow writing to him, the group working with him for months on end... all of it is meaningful to his characterization? You said so yourself.”
“No, no, no,” comes the reply. “He’s just bad. But he’s also nuanced. He’s tricked you into thinking he’s a good person by acting kind sometimes, by getting support sometimes, but none of that is true. His actions are what matter and his actions are simplistically bad.”
“Ohhhh. So then does that mean this story is really about the creation of a villain?”
“Huh?”
“Well, Ruby. She’s ‘nuanced’ in the same way. She acts kind sometimes and gets support, but her actions are terrible. She endangered an entire city because she couldn’t wait to see if Ironwood got his letter. She condemned Ozpin for keeping secrets about Salem and then kept those same secrets just two days later. When the kingdom was under attack she sat around drinking tea, crying on a staircase, just hoping someone would come fix things for her — all while actively sabotaging the one person who was trying to save people, even if that action seems silly to us (let’s fly really high). So if we’re looking at the impact of someone’s actions outside of their intent, as we just did with Ironwood, then she’s a bad guy too, yeah?”
“No! She’s the hero!”
“... these characters don’t know she’s the hero from a meta perspective. If we’re supposed to judge the meaning of RWBY based on these details — ”
“But it’s not just the details. It’s also the allusions. Everyone in RWBY is based on another person or character. It’s very complex and that inspiration drives their story, so if you don’t have that information it’s no surprise you’re confused. For example, this is why Penny had to get a human body. That’s what happened to Pinocchio!”
“Oh! So then Ironwood is destined to be a good guy!”
“What?”
“Well, you just said the allusions drive their stories, right? The whole point of the Tin Man is that he always had a heart and just needed to realize that. So clearly — “
“No! He’s supposed to be a classic dictator, he’s only bad!”
And ‘round and ‘round we go. RWBY’s writing is atrocious yet the fandom pushes this narrative that it’s all a complex, multi-layered story that requires taking every part into account to understand the “real” message... but when you try to do that with certain characters like Ozpin and Ironwood it’s, “No, actually, they’re just simple archetypes of Bad Men.” Nuance exists for the bees, but not other ships. It exists for the characters fans like, but not the ones they don’t. And RWBY’s inspirations have to predict the ending for this character... but not that other character. It’s a nonsense grab bag!
Fans are right that Ironwood had a lot of red flags to set up this downfall. Fans are also right that those red flags were severely undercut, thus reversing their impact. Fans are right that Ironwood becomes a 100% bad guy who kills because he can and threatens to bomb a city. Fans are also right that this characterization feels absurd for Ironwood, both in terms of his morality and his intelligence (how does bombing Mantle help you now??) Ironwood is badly written. He was badly written in 7 and 8, if he was always meant to be a dictator in the making then he was badly written in 2-6, and he’s conclusively badly written when it comes to lacking a backstory and a canonical semblance — two things are are supposedly driving all of this characterization. That’s the answer: not that he’s good, or bad, but that RWBY can’t write a consistent character, let alone a nuanced one, so it’s no surprise the fandom can’t decide on anything. What’s there to decide on? It’s that nonsense grab bag. In a different show I think making the dictator appear cool would be a crucial bit of commentary, but RWBY doesn’t have the skill to pull that off.
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