#also this may not be perfect as I’m sleep deprived but I just wanted to get this out soooo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

primofate · 3 months

Text

Where he would propose and how it happens [Genshin Men]

Warnings: haven’t written in a while please excuse and tell me about pronoun slips, I’m sleep deprived, not proofread (this will be my fixed disclaimer as a writing parent, haha)

Notes: All of these were captured by me in game. I just felt like exploring the beauty of Genshin more and this was a great way to do it while mixing it with writing. Note that you may not agree with some of these, and that's totally fine, these are my thoughts and ideas :)

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Venti, Wriothesley, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Aether

Aether is a simple man, and though he plans his proposal he doesn't really think much of the place, somewhere where the two of you frequent, maybe on your daily/nightly walks.

It happens just as the two of you are about to go back, this is where you sit and relax for a while as the sun sets. You can see Mondstadt in the distance and the beautiful orange sky.

As you're about to turn and walk away he catches your wrist and pulls you back into the middle of those tiny pink flowers.

Now that he thinks about it... This is where his journey really started: Starfell Lake, and how perfect would it be to start a new one with you?

"Y/N, I...want you to stay. I mean, forever," the words are simple but it gets across.

Albedo

Also a simple person. You might think Dragonspine when you think Albedo and I agree that all that snow could be romantic but I went for Starsnatch Cliff. It's a good place to see Mondstadt, and he takes you there after the sun has set.

He would probably comment about how you can see a lot of things from here, and how the world is such a great, vast place, full of things to explore and discover.

"...and yet I find myself thinking... how all that I want is right next to me. Would you do me the honour of being my lifelong partner?"

Alhaitham

Something's up and you can tell, this isn't your usual route home, and honestly you've never stopped in these parts of the city. You've passed by it sure, but never with Alhaitham.

You ask him where the two of you are going and if there are some extra errands to run before going home. He only shakes his head and ends up leading you over right next to the glowing Padisarah flower.

He HAS planned this, so why does it feel like he hasn't? Even has a ring in his pocket (granted it is the SIMPLEST ring one could ever imagine, that's just how he is)

Ends up just taking the ring box out and showing it to you while trying to speak "I..." doesn't speak much of his emotions so has a hard time, but feels pathetic afterwards so meets your eyes straight on. "...A promise... That what I feel for you... is everlasting,"

Ayato

That small shrine/garden/sitting area just outside the Kamisato Estate. It's just a bit more private than the sitting area INSIDE the estate.

You wouldn't think anything of it because you do hang out here from time to time.

Ayato might seem like a grand person but in the end he doesn't want to stray far from home.

"I'm...sorry if this is a bit abrupt," fishes out a ring box from his long sleeve. "I've been meaning to ask for a while now, will you share your life with me as my beloved?"

Baizhu

That nice little hill just outside of Bubu Pharmacy, where you can find Glaze Lilies strewn about and the night view is quite nice. It's a place the two of you go just to get some quick, fresh air if Baizhu isn't feeling too well. Changsheng is left at the pharmacy from time to time, this is one of those times.

"I've been thinking...how precious time really is," he looks at you with tenderness in his eyes, yet a lot of uncertainty shrouded in them. "I don't know where this road will lead me... but you alone are my lifelong remedy. Would you accompany me on this journey?"

Cyno

Cyno often comes here to watch the sun set, since he was a student, but he does think it's more beautiful at night.

The two of you are leaning over the railway and looking at Sumeru, just talking about the day.

Cyno doesn't really plan it. He seems to be the type to but when he feels that it's the right time, specially when he feels it strongly, there's no better time than the present.

It's while he's watching you talk enthusiastically about your day, that there's a sudden twist in his heart. This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

"Y/N--" he cuts you off successfully, wonder in his eyes. "What do you say to being intertwined for life?"

Dainsleif

Anywhere where there is an unobstructed view of the stars and night sky, but particularly at the hill of Cape Oath, where the two of you lie side by side on the grass, staring up at the stars.

At this point the two of you have been travelling together for a while, looking for answers to his curse. To Dainsleif, the two of you are pretty much married already, but just to confirm it, every night, he asks "Is this the path that you choose? To bind your fate with mine?"

And every night, like a promise, you say yes.

Diluc

Diluc doesn't stray far from home too. He prefers to stay close to his memories, no matter how painful they are.

He HAS planned it, but ends up proposing at an unexpected time.

It's when he's on the road home and you're waiting right by the lamp post for him. It's late. Later than usual and here you are worrying about how it's a cold night and that he should've worn more.

It's at that moment that it hits him, "Y/N, the thought of being separated...it's not something I'd want to imagine" he grips your hand tightly. "...For the rest of my life, it's you that I want to spend it with,"

Doesn't even have the planned ring on him and apologizes about the word vomit he just did. He was just overcome with emotions right then and there.

Gorou

That small spot next to Bourou Village. Watatsumi Island is beautiful in general, but Gorou knows the good spots.

Is nervous but tries not to show it, but you can totally tell because he's way too stiff.

"Wh-What do you mean? Nothing's wrong!" When asked if everything's fine.

When standing at this spot though, his nervousness seems to go away and for a minute everything is normal until... "H-Hey, Y/N, so..." you look at him and he's fumbling with his hands, unable to meet your gaze. "Y-You, and I--We've been...You know--"

Seems to panic. He is SO uncool right now. Closes his eyes and just blurts it out when he realizes this isn't working out "With all my heart, will you marry me?!"

Heizou

Little secret garden just next to Inazuma city. Quiet place yet you can hear a bit of the hustle and bustle in the city.

Heizou is the type to get on one knee and confidently, directly say it.

He's planned it, and gets you right in the middle of the bridge (has probably asked someone to take a photo as well)

"Y/N, beloved," grins "would you unravel the mysteries of life with me?" (thinks it was such a cool line, then hands you the ring in a box)

Itto

Does not think about it nor plans it. Just happens and it happens because he talks about it casually. You can't really tell if he's serious.

He has this conversation with you in Chinjuu Forest, which is a naturally beautiful place, but he's really only there with you to look for onikabuto.

"You know, it'd be really cool if we could keep doing this huh?"

You ask what he means cause you don't really have any idea. You guys have been doing this for ages. Why would it stop now, is what you think.

"I mean, like, you know, forever," he says this while looking under a rock. "Like if we were just onikabuto fightin' partners forever, get it?"

You stall for a moment and wonder if he knows what he's saying, and you ask if he specifically means he just wants you as an onikabuto fighting partner.

"Oh, well, yea it's ONE of the things I like about you, but I like your kisses too. Hehe," scratches the back of his head then looks like he gets a bright idea. "Oh hey that's an idea! How 'bout we just become partners for life, Y/N?"

Yeah, that's how it happens.

Kaeya

Kaeya keeps it simple, but also romantic. He gets that spot above the gate of Mondstadt, where you can see Barbatos' statue from a distance. He knows how much you love the city and he has a special place in his heart for it too.

The two of you pretty much keep each other warm up there, with him behind you and his arms wrapped around your shoulders.

At some point, as the two of you have been talking for ages and when the perfect silence descends, he leans into your ear and asks you to close your eyes. When you do, you feel him slip something onto your ring finger as he says "A thousand words wouldn't be enough to tell you how I really feel...Would you want to create a thousand and more memories together instead?"

Kaveh

Kaveh thinks its only appropriate to propose at his masterpiece, but he thinks you're even more of a masterpiece than anything he's made or encountered before.

Plus the place just holds a lot of meaning and memories for him. It's beautiful too and you've always said that you're proud of him for completing it.

His is a pretty simple proposal. "I've always thought that something's been missing in my life...I think I've figured out that it's you, Y/N. It's only going to be you,"

Kazuha

Inazuma holds a lot of memories for Kazuha, some that are rather unpleasant. But home is still home and perhaps he wanted to create more good memories there.

Truth be told he could have proposed to you anywhere, and I don't think he had really planned it. It was just something heartfelt that he wanted to say as he sees you climbing up the stairs to the shrine. The sunlight hitting you perfectly and the sakura blossoms just cascading around your form. It's perfect, he thought.

You're a few steps further up from him and it makes him look up at you the slightest bit. With a shine in his eyes and a smile on his face he asks, quite sincerely "Have you ever felt like home was right next to you, Y/N?"

and before you could answer he answers his own question first. "I have, despite the storms and catastrophes I've gone through...Y/N, you're the home that my heart forever needs,"

Lyney

Lyney plans it, but doesn't do it in a grand way. He just wants it to be sincere and special. He thinks this place is cute, what with the little sort of gazebo with a small sitting space to just sit and drink tea.

He proposes to you as the two of you sit, you've never been here before and wonder why the two of you are out here, actually.

"Oh, is it strange? Haha, I just wanted a bit of a change," Rubs the back of his neck and starts to feel nervous.

You explain that you're not complaining, just curious, but you like it!

"Oh, that's a relief. I'm...Uh..." sort of fumbles with something in his coat, really funny seeing as he's a magician and is supposed to be nimble with his fingers. Recovers quite fast and manages to do his classic "flower-behind-your-ear" trick and hands it over to you.

He does the same trick, but this time takes a ring out. "Y/N, you complete me in ways words can't express...will you..." gulps before he continues "marry me?"

Neuvillette

Seems very posh but prefers to keep it simple. He thinks its more special rather than making a super grand gesture. He could of easily proposed in front of the Opera Epiclese, but instead did it at one of the small fountains in Marcotte Station.

The two of you are out on a nightly stroll and this is just where the two of you ended up.

Clears his throat before starting, takes your hand in his, but its his eyes that really do the talking. "I may not be the best in expressing my deepest thoughts and emotions...but there is one single thing that I am quite sure about," he stalls here and seems to look into your soul.

"And it's you, my love. As I take my next steps into this life I lead, I would be honoured if I take them with you by my side,"

Scaramouche

Has it on his mind but doesn't particularly plans when or where he's going to say it. Just knows that he wants to.

While out on an assignment the two of you pass by Mawtiyima Forest. You've always thought it looked like such a magical place. You request to sit on a hill for a bit before moving on.

Scaramouche, as usual, grumbles about this but relents and ends up plopping next to you as well. Truth be told he also liked this particular forest and how quiet yet vibrant it was.

No words are exchanged for a while, just the two of you looking at the view. Scaramouche sneaks a glance at you and you have that stupid, wide eyed look on your face, the glowing blue mushrooms reflecting off of your eyes.

He secretly thinks its cute.

He shows that by aggressively saying. "I don't know what you had in mind when you agreed to come with me, but you're stuck with me till the end now, got it?"

Yes. That's pretty much his proposal.

Tartaglia

Is one who would take you on a vacation off on an isolated, quaint and cute island like Petrichor with wonderful views of Fontaine's waterfalls.

Is the type to get down on one knee while this beautiful background is in sight. Totally plans it and is the cliche, basic proposal. Would totally love the townspeople to clap and cheer while this is happening too.

"Y/N, every day spent with you is a treasure, and I want it to continue for the rest of my life, will you marry me?"

Thoma

Has planned it. Makes sure you have a good time beforehand, probably at some festival and it's when the two of you are winding down, sitting on that rock with the lamp on it that he asks.

"Isn't it magical?" he asks as a starter and you ask what exactly he's talking about. "How it's always a good time and how easy life seems when I'm with you,"

You tell him that's because he always takes good care of you and he laughs heartily at that. "I'm glad to hear it," kisses your forehead and smiles down at you.

"Every day, Y/N, I just fall deeper in love with you...Do you think, maybe, we could spend our whole lives together?"

Tighnari

Plans it and is calm about it. Has everything under control. He chose Pardis Dhyai specifically for its aesthetics and specifically the inside in case it rains. (He doesn't want you to get wet as he proposes, but also doesn't want his ears and tail wet as it happens.)

Clears his throat before he starts, doesn't have a ring because he just doesn't seem the type, for him its more of a pact.

"Rather than talk about emotions alone, I'd want to highlight that you've been quite the mind-stimulating study partner," coughs into his hand "but of course, that's only one aspect of you that I like...it's safe to say that I like you enough to propose the pact of marriage...would that be alright with you?"

Venti

Where else would he think was a good place to propose? Of course he would do it here.

No roundabout way of saying it. Confident in all aspects, partly because he's a God but partly because...what has he got to lose, really?

Doesn't really propose marriage cause...he's not a mortal. Forever might be a thing for him but maybe not for you.

"It's been a while since I've felt really at ease with someone, you know?"

You jokingly say he seems to be at ease with everyone, specially after a few bottles of wine. He laughs out loud at that, and remarks back that no one can make him laugh the way you do.

"It's blossomed into something more beautiful than I thought it would be, Y/N. You, me, and us. Can we stay like this till the end?"

Wriothesley

Has planned it and has stuck to his plan. At a little vacation home at the Southeast of the Beryl Region. The two of you spent a few days relaxing there, under the guise that Wriothesley needed a break.

On the last day he surprised you by revealing that he had asked your family and friends, both from faraway regions and nearby towns to come and celebrate with the two of you.

Celebrate what, you ask.

That's when he gets down on one knee and pops the question "You know, I could still be mistaken," he grins at this but is clearly joking. "but I don't think I am and seeing as you've put up with me, Y/N, I think it's safe to say you're my forever person,"

It was days after when you realize how confident he is of this whole thing when you think about the fact that he had pre planned to invite all your friends and family over to "celebrate"

Xiao

Also a person who doesn't stray far from home. The rooftop of Wangshu Inn is actually quite romantic on quiet nights, with a view of Liyue and a gentle breeze.

To Xiao, marriage isn't really about a ring and signing papers. It's a contract and a promise to each other.

On one of the nights, he just thinks it's the right time to say it.

He's more quiet than usual and you ask if something's wrong.

He pauses for a while before answering. "...Apologies, there's a lot on my mind..."

Xiao has become a lot more open with you through the years.

"...I... just wanted to propose the prospect of being...binded together," you ask what that means cause you're not really familiar, you end up asking if that's the same as marriage.

"M-Marriage? Uh... Yes... I suppose that's what mortals call it... but being binded together is more..." stops talking and gets red in the face. "Let's... just leave it at that,"

I like to think that the process of binding is just that your souls are entwined together...So when one of you passes, you still remember them in your next life, type of thing. Cause if you're a mortal, chances are, you'll die earlier than Xiao. Anyhow, that's a completely different story.

Zhongli

Zhongli prefers the quiet and the nature. This is probably part of your occasional stroll when the two of you need some quiet time.

Zhongli, with how long he has lived, also doesn't see marriage as the normal get-down-on-one-knee-with-a-ring-thing, but for him, it's a contract. It's more binding than anything in the world.

"Y/N, we've walked this path countless of times before," he starts as the two of you continue to stroll. You reply saying that you like this particular area where the bamboos are.

"Is that so?" suddenly stops and looks at you. "In that case, would you care to listen to a proposal I have?"

Clears his throat when you give the approval. "As I've said, we've walked this path countless of times before..." he takes your hand in his "but for me, who has lived longer than you, I've traversed this path for even more times," he closes his eyes. "Yet, with you by my side, this path changes. It transforms into something resplendent. As if...every time had been the first time I've walked through it. It is with you, Y/N, that I discover life anew, despite the thousands of years I've lived. Would you consider forming a contract of lifelong partnership with me, and only me?"

End

I’ve published The Ruthless Prince (Reader x Scaramouche) on paperback. Click here.

Consider supporting me to read some exclusive fics:

Ko-Fi

buymeacoffee

Here's the masterlist:

Masterlist

2K notes · View notes

carboncat0 · 4 days

Text

rant about Giorno’s character because i’m sleep deprived and i just heard birds chirping

love how they tell us Giorno is Dio’s son via character traits and story arcs

so like in the main universe(1-6) all JoJo were being thrown into action, something happened to them and forced them to react (Jotaro’ mom, Shigechi’s death etc.) and Giorno is the only one who acts first, actively trying to do something to reach his goal

Diavolo didn’t do shit to him before their encounter, there is no revenge or redemption, bro just wanted his job i guess

not saying that other JoJo are lesser than Giorno, they just want to be a normal person. they don’t want to fight, they don’t want the trama, but fate forced them into the mess

Jonathan didn’t want to be a vampire hunter, he wants to live a happy married life with Erina; Jotaro didnt want to kill the same vampire again bro just wants to be a marine biologist. they react, they fight, they defeat the evil and they tried so hard to go back to their normal life after those traumatic events

Giorno is different because he has the Dio blood in him, by nature he craves power, just like his papa (and every other villains.) and he succeed, he gain the power and status he wants in the end(his papa will be so proud)

it’s hard to decide whether he is evil or not, he steals, scams, manipulates and kills; but he is doing all these for a morally good reason, so who’s to say?

i saw someone saying that Giorno has Jonathan goals but executes them in the most Dio way possible, and that’s what make him so damn interesting and dynamic as a character

he is calm, distant and always plotting like Dio but kind, empathetic and determined like Jonathan, the perfect mix

also i think he may have some self-destruction tendencies and GE’s power of giving life/controlling nature being subtle yet brutal is a reflection of Giorno’s personality but that’s the story for another time

damn i want to draw him so bad rn why does human need sleep 🛌

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo part 5 #giorno giovanna #golden wind #character analysis #rant post

17 notes · View notes

merakiui · 2 years

Note

Idk how much u learned about Rollo but it is canon that he hid his diary behind a brick in a furnace, now that could also mean that there are many secret rooms in NBC, so the NRC children are staying for 3 days and 2 nights

He's already shown fondness for the prefect and let's just say he slowly becomes obsessed. He asks her if she's interested in seeing something while she's here to make up for his wrongdoings and she automatically says the library. Rollo knows of all the secret rooms the school has and the library has one as well the perfect amount of space for two, to get as scandalous as possible especially since after the first day crimson flower fiasco all his thoughts immediately drift to her and the warm smile she showed him at the festival, the dance they shared at the ball, the warm, hot pants of his name called out in his dreams by her, they must be signs from a higher being are they not?

I think it’s so cute that he hides his diary and regularly writes in it. Even though I’m certain his writing tools are probably just ballpoint pens, I can’t help imagining Rollo with really cute stationery and he decorates every page in his journal to match the theme of it. orz

As stiffly traditional as Rollo may seem, he knows how to have fun. He just rarely engages in such pleasures because he’s the student council president—a role model for all of Noble Bell. If the students knew their president was falling behind in classes, avoiding his duties as bell keeper, and ignoring all of the rules that keep the order and peace within school grounds, they might think it’s appropriate to get away with all sorts of foolish antics, especially antics involving magic.

So when it comes to you, he finds that he wants to shed all of his layers and have fun. But such a feat is nearly impossible for someone who has confined himself in his own little bubble, never quite stepping out of his comfort zone. Rollo does not ‘loosen up.’ He’s only ever been stressed and sleep-deprived. But whenever he’s with you he feels less restless than usual. It seems your smile is enough to invigorate him, which is exactly why Rollo comes to you and asks if you’d like to know of the secret spaces scattered throughout Noble Bell’s campus. Naturally, as someone who’s familiar with the school’s layout, he would know of the best places for sly escapes, quiet study sessions, and relaxing naps. He’s guilty of using one of these spaces for himself, for his diary is hidden within the loose brickwork. Not that anyone needs to know this fact, though.

When you’re in such a narrow, cramped area, where the walls practically close in and force the two of you closer together, a million thoughts race through Rollo’s mind. It would be so easy to lean down and close what little distance remains between the two of you. And when you’re practically pushed against him in the dark, your surroundings lit by the faintest magical glow, he can smell the shampoo you use. He has to force all of his lustful thoughts to the back of his mind because if he dwells on them any longer you might feel the strain in his pants when you’re standing so close, your ass nearly pressing against his hips.

His dreams aren’t very helpful either. He tries to snuff this love that’s spiraling out of control. He writes about it in his journal in hopes of dispelling these feelings; they always persist even after he’s crumpled and burned the papers containing rotten infatuation. He’s written a few sonnets; those have been charred to ash as well. He tries to busy himself with council work. He spends extra hours in the bell tower, scrubbing away in an effort to chase your image from his mind. Yet you always appear in his brain in the most compromising situations.

He thinks of how intimate it would be to take you in one of the secret passages spread throughout the school, where you’re forced onto his cock in the tight space. He thinks of kissing you under the Bell of Salvation, listening to its haunting chimes and the sound of skin on skin. He thinks of how much he’ll miss you when you make your inevitable return to Night Raven College after the trip has reached its conclusion. He thinks of that dance you shared under magnificent lights, where he spun you and you’d smiled so brightly—so full of forgiveness. He thinks he might just die if he doesn’t have you all to himself, which is as codependent as it is unhealthy. But Rollo can’t help it. He’s in love with you.

This is the first time anyone has given him these feelings. And though they were unwelcome and uncomfortable in the beginning, he’s begun to embrace them. He wants to prove his devotion to you in a tiny, shadowed space between bookshelves in the library or in an attic-like space that overlooks the floor below.

Most of all, he wants to chain you to him so that you’ll never be taken from him. So that you’ll always remain at his side. So that he can love you whenever he pleases, and you’ll be able to return such sweetness tenfold. The City of Flowers is known for steamy romances and sugary, blossoming feelings. It’s only natural Rollo would want to share these pleasures with you in hopes that you might fall for him in the same way you’ve fallen for the city and its lovely charms.

He was never afforded a proper happily ever after when he was a child, but now he thinks he can attain just that when he’s with you. He is not the villain in your love story. He is not the hero. He is not the misunderstood monster. He is just Rollo, the one who will cherish you forever. You can fight him, you can curse him, you can ignore him. But one way or another you’ll come to feel his love. How can you not when it’s piled onto you in waves, leaving you suspended in an ocean of obsession? And you can only tread water in this suffocating relationship for so long before you sink.

#twisted chit chat #n/sfw #yandere twst #yandere rollo flamm #not to give him a breeding kink but to give him a breeding kink…#rollo knocks you up in one of the secret spaces that will soon become your prison <3

229 notes · View notes

brilla-brilla-estrellita · 1 year

Text

WIP Wednesday

Thanks for the tags @cutestkilla and @ileadacharmedlife! I've got some ramblings for you today, and, yes, a bit of a WIP.

As some of you have already heard, I've been trying some new meds which left me incredibly sleep deprived over the last two weeks (not to worry-- I've stopped taking those for the time being). On top of that, I sprained my ankle just in time to go on a very active, high-energy trip. In a surprising turn of events, my sleep deprivation did wonders for my creativity, and I made a lot of progress on a new WIP. I didn't finish any existing ones, of course. That would be ridiculous.

I'm both very excited and incredibly nervous about this fic. It features an OC that is Deaf, and I am not a member of the Deaf community. I have been taking ASL classes on and off for 3 years, and while that has certainly served as an inspiration for this character, it by no means makes me an authority on anything Deaf.

While I believe we shouldn't all limit ourselves to writing only characters we "know" (which leads to many an all-white cisgender heteronormative ableist etc etc story), I also don't want to fuck it up. So I will be doing a lot of research and examining internalized biases and stereotypical tropes as I plan and write to make sure I'm treating this character and story fairly. I will definitely be looking for sensitivity readers throughout the process as well, so if anyone is interested in helping me out with that please hit me up (tumblr and discord DMs open).

I could use some encouragement, support, advice, or, if you feel that I am making a terrible mistake, a reality check.

Ok, now to the WIP. There's a little more to this than just being a Stormchaser fic... I don't think it's hard to guess, so you might pick it up just from this. I had a really hard time picking which snippet to use.

Penny POV

His smile falters. “I hoped you’d be excited for me. It’s an opportunity to help students learn and connect. I thought you were all about education.” “Oh, don’t give me that,” I sigh. “Of course I’m all for education, and yes, that does sound like a perfect opportunity for you. But… you’ll be leaving us here for an entire year. We’ve never been without you for that long.” “Well…” he gives a nervous laugh, a sure sign that his next words are going to make me want to strangle him. “I may have volunteered Delilah for their foreign exchange pilot program.” Yep, that’s it. “Crowley, Shepard! I told you you can’t go around sacrificing our child for experiments! Just because I've gotten you out of impossible situations doesn’t mean I’ll always be able to!” “I didn’t sacrifice her, jeez! It’s just an exchange program, and I’ll be there! Give me a little credit. Even Watford has an exchange program.” His eyebrows scrunch together. “And I thought we weren’t supposed to say ‘Crowley’ because it’s–” “Problematic, yes,” I cut him off. “But you are being problematic, Shepard. We can’t send our daughter to school in America. To a creature school. Anyone could be there!”

Thanks for reading my very long post! Tagging @artsyunderstudy @facewithoutheart @martsonmars @agni-ashes @onepintobean @thewholelemon @shrekgogurt @raenestee @skeedelvee @technetiumai @iamamythologicalcreature

#wip wednesday #fic writing #simon snow fic #stormchaser fic

22 notes · View notes

linklethehistorian · 1 year

Text

Of Skyfall, Sigma, Ian Fleming & James Bond

A personal theory add-on for Skelechuuchuu’s incredible Ian Fleming theory. Please read and give love and support to that original theory here if you have the time!

Hello everyone! At the time of posting this, I’m extremely sick and kinda sleep-deprived right now, so I will probably not be terribly active until I feel better. :’)

Nevertheless, after having a small chat (with a lot of breaks in between :’)) with some cool people in a BSD server, I still wanted to come and drop this little add-on to the recent (and extremely compelling) theory that dropped about Sigma being Ian Fleming (and James Bond-inspired).

As I tend to do best, I wanted to analyze and explain why Skyfall is not only a perfect and crucial choice for the episode name in S4 as OP describes above due to the inseverable tie to James Bond, but also how the lyrics to the tie-in Bond song by this name themselves relate perfectly to Sigma and the events of BSD involving him so far.

I’ll place it below the cut for both S4 spoilers and manga spoilers up to Chapter 106-107 or so! Proceed with caution if you’re worried about spoilers!

Now, without further ado, let’s get to lyric analyzing!

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of analyzing the song lyric by lyric, allow me to start with a more generalized observation:

The overarching theme of the song Skyfall, apart from being obviously intrinsically linked to Bond (given it was made for it), is about bravely facing down the end with those you love, come what may; this is a perfect fit for Sigma, whose whole character is wrapped up in the concept of needing to belong and protect those he loves. In the episode of the same name, he even fights, despite knowing he is “just an ordinary man”, with his whole life to protect his beloved people in the Casino, unafraid of dying because living without them would be meaningless.

(I would also like to note here that at first glance, it might seem to be written almost like a love song, but I feel it’s important to distinguish — especially in the context of this theory — that this is not necessarily the case, and there is one line that upon listening to it, especially seems to almost completely confirm otherwise to me; in the song, it sounds like Adele is saying “all your loving arms”, despite many lyric sites and such claiming otherwise (it is really not uncommon for artists to differ from the original written lyrics from time to time in certain recordings, so I find this rather plausible). Nevertheless, whether or not this is actually correct, the song is ambiguous enough that it can still be taken however one wishes, and I believe that if we apply it to Sigma, the song is not directed towards one person, but towards a group of them.)

I’ll get on to the more intricate stuff of analyzing lyric by lyric in a moment, but before I do I would just like to make one little key statement here before we start, and that is that despite how it seems, I don’t actually believe most of this song was meant to be applied to the casino or the people there; rather, I believe it largely reflects and is about his feelings towards Dazai, Atsushi, and the ADA as a whole. (Again, I’ll explain this more in a bit, but…there is one particular set of lyrics that truly sets this up for me: “Skyfall is where we start”; obviously, Sigma has had his casino and known the people in it for awhile, from his perspective, but do you know who he does meet in the episode Skyfall, and first starts to find some small measure of hope/consolation in? Atsushi. The ADA.)

Okay, with that in mind, now let’s on to the main bit!

This is the end Hold your breath and count to ten

In the most recent chapters, Dazai and Sigma are trapped underwater, and literally have to hold their breath to survive. As he runs out of air, Sigma is counting the moments until he can resurface, but fears it may not happen because Dazai seems determined to stop him (for good reason, it turns out)

Feel the Earth move and then Hear my heart burst again

Being with Dazai and having hope of joining the ADA has shifted Sigma’s world around him, changing his worldview and making his heart explode with genuine hope at all of the kind deeds they’ve performed for him — especially when he realizes Dazai is not trying to kill him by keeping him underwater but protect him.

For this is the end I've drowned and dreamt this moment

As they’re staying under the water and near out of air to share, Sigma almost fully accepts his fate, thinking to himself that he may die this way, but at least he was able to dream of a beautiful life for once in those few precious moments he shared with the ADA.

So overdue, I owe them

Sigma has waited a long time to have a place to permanently belong and feel loved and cared for, and he feels indebted to the Agency for all they’ve done for him — all their acts of kindness.

Swept away, I'm stolen

When Dazai was given a chance to pick something to take with him in Mersault, he stole Sigma from the DOA completely, and this action also sweeps Sigma away with surprise, hope, and gratitude inside.

Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall Face it all together

This one is probably pretty self-explanatory; Sigma isn’t afraid of death, as long as he stands with the ADA in hope of a good life, though this attitude also perfectly fits his attitude towards the Casino in the Skyfall ep and how he stood with his people against the Hunting Dogs, unafraid to die for them.

Skyfall is where we start

I already went over this one a bit, but Skyfall is the ep where he and Atsushi (and by extension the ADA) meet for the first time; it’s his start with knowing the ADA — the time when he first experiences true hope that doesn’t involve him being used and discarded in the end.

A thousand miles and poles apart

I think this part is kinda metaphorical to how he at first thinks he and the ADA are on opposite sides, and that they care nothing for him besides forcing him to use his ability; in his eyes, they are worlds apart and he could never even get close to their world of light.

Where worlds collide and days are dark

Yet, in that moment of Atsu trying to save him, Sigma begins to feel they’re not so far apart, after all.

Their worlds collided in that brief moment, on one of his darkest days, and he felt grateful for that, even though he still felt his fate was sealed and that he had to let go of Atsu’s hand to prevent him from tumbling to his death with him.

You may have my number, you can take my name But you'll never have my heart

I believe this would be directed at everyone else whom had used and abused him up until this point, and, from his perspective, took his memory from him; they can take everything from him, own him, rob him of his true identity, etc., but he will never be one of them. He’ll never truly be a terrorist. His heart belongs in the light — with the ADA; he realizes that now.

Where you go, I go What you see, I see

As a member of the server we were in, Cloudii, pointed out, I think this could be a reference to how similar Sigma sees himself to Atsushi and vice versa, but I think it could also be a reference to his willingness to follow the ADA (both literally and metaphorically) and with the last line, his ability to gain knowledge of someone else’s knowledge (and thereby in a limited way experiences) through touch.

I know I'd never be me Without the security [Of] All your loving arms Keeping me from harm Put your hand in my hand And we'll stand

The lines about “put your hand in my hand, and we’ll stand” in particular strongly remind me of the moment when Atsu tries to save Sigma by holding his hand when he dangled off the casino, and reflects both Atsu’s desire to have him keep holding on and pull him to solid ground, and Sigma’s desire to stand by the ADA and repay them for kindness by using his ability for them right before what he believes will be his death.

That being said, I also think this whole set of lyrics above matches Sigma’s attitude towards the ADA and his determination to stand by them now in general, even in the most dire of times.

He knows that he’ll never get to be who he wants to be and live the life he wants to live, having a place of belonging, an identity, people who love him genuinely, if he doesn’t learn to put his faith in them and trust that they are different from the rest of those who had him before. The ADA seems to love and protect him and so he’ll do his best, ordinary as he feels he is, to stand by them, too, until his last breath — using his ability and whatever else he may have as necessary, as they face down the end of the world as they know it and those who would bring it about together.

Anyway, yeah, that’s my analysis for today! Thank you for reading! Love y’all. 🥺💖

51 notes · View notes

disasterbijamietartt · 1 year

Note

I know what you mean about the neither confirming nor denying thing. Like I can see it as not wanting to take away from the Colin moment, and it was definitely left in a way that can be interpreted positively and I think unless they outright say otherwise, a lot of fandom will take it as a yes, he is. That said, that was the perfect time to confirm, just one line, and I will feel cheated if they dont let him acknowledge it. I am slightly more forgiving of actors teasing a character's sexuality if it seems like actually they are 100% behind it (a la Oscar Isaac with Poe, and I do think Phil with Jamie), but I will be more disappointed in the show for teasing it and not going ahead

Yeah, and you know, I’m so done settling and rejoicing over hints when the creators don’t have the backbone to make something canon. So I have a hard time giving them the benefit of the doubt right now.

Maybe they will surprise me positively, but … the more I think about this, the more it upsets me.

@time-is-restored also makes a good point here, that sleep deprived me forgot about.

The whole situation where everyone on the team looked at him like “We know what you are” was quite unsettling to me—that is not a group of queer people recognising one of their own. That is a group of straight guys singling out one in their middle because he looks/seems gay to them.

Are they stereotyping Jamie because he cares for his appearance? (which is like the only context I can think of, where “I’m flattered” makes sense as a response to me—”They think I’m gay because I’m stylish and hot, so it is a compliment”) Or do they think when Jamie talked about being too “soft” for his dad in season 1, he actually meant “gay”?

The most generous view I can come up with is, that Jamie has dated no one since Keeley and they’re collectively like “He is so hot, and also fun and kind and supportive, him being single makes no sense unless he is gay”. Like, from a fannish perspective I could also go “Haha, after Amsterdam they probably think Roy and Jamie are secretly dating”, but there is like zero proof they might actually think that.

And honestly, as much as I enjoy interpreting every little choice on the show: The average viewer doesn’t do that. The average viewer will look and jump to the first conclusion that makes sense to them, which likely will be stereotyping.

Someone (like Trent) should have called that out.

I could generously interpret the whole exchange as giving a huge hint to casual viewers: “Jamie is perceived as queer, just so you know for future reference 😉”, but still the entire scene doesn’t sit well with me. And they could have accomplished the same result in a way where Jamie actually has agency about this.

Since also, by singling Jamie out, they basically forced him to make a statement, either forcing him to lie or to come out even when he may not be ready for it, which is super shitty behaviour. (So I could also read the “I’m flattered” as him deflecting, like he knows he is bi but doesn’t feel like coming out yet and assumed they clocked him because of his appearance.)

Add to this that Colin basically was forced to come out because of the circumstances and couldn’t actually decide on his own account when and how to come out. (Which is like the opposite of what I wanted)

And we didn’t even get the how, because it was more important to focus on the straight allies 🤡 Like, if the writers didn’t want to take away from Colin’s moment, they could have made it more about Colin? (Yes, he didn't want to be a spokesperson, but it would still have been nice to have him actually say "I am gay" in front of his mates.)

I liked the conversation Roy and Isaac had and think it was necessary (partly for my queer Roy agenda), but instead of giving us this cringeworthy talk by Ted, they could have given Colin more room for his own coming out—and then have Ted reassure him, that they care about him with a story that is about Ted not caring enough about someone who actually was queer and regretting that.

Gosh, the more my brain wakes up, the more upset I get lol

(And yes, I am usually quite forgiving with actors, since they don’t have control over their franchise, but no matter how much I adore Phil, the way he constantly brings up Roy x Jamie as a possibility is going a bit too far at this point if he is only joking.)

#ted lasso spoilers #jamie tartt #my answers #jamie x roy #roy x jamie #royjamie #colin hughes

19 notes · View notes

honest-moth-of-silver-grove · 10 months

Note

Hello!

I am here for the bg3 match up and headcannons!

So I will do my tav who is Non-binary but uses he/they pronouns and they are gay!

So.

They are a happy and cheerful person but can be more aggressive and grumpy at times if he didn't get a good night's rest. Which is sadly often as they have sleeping issues. They love the nature and they are a bard. And they love to read in the forest hearing the birds sing. But sadly they have quite a shitty luck and can be stubborn at times, as well be chaotic causing alot of proplems the team. But he cares about everyone and wouldn't let anyone of them die. The team is like a family to them.

And please be it monogamous!

A/N: A bard who goes off on people if they haven't slept is me lol. I am this person.

For you my Sleepy Tav Anon, I’m thinking you’d be best matched with… Halsin!

🧸 Halsin is a great match for your Tav! He’s kind and loves nature just as much, if not more than your Tav. Halsin is also a huge reader (at least he was prerelease, I’m not sure if those lines trigger for him currently). He loves getting lost in a good book, sitting out somewhere amongst nature.

Halsin has no gender preference when it comes to romantic or sexual partners. He loves ‘all types’ as he said. And he loves your Tav!

Halsin appreciates being with such a happy and cheerful person. It’s so nice to be able to unwind as a leader, and having a partner who looks on the bright side helps a lot with that. He’s also mostly understanding about your Tav needing their sleep. Halsin, as an elf in DND, doesn’t need sleep, he does need rest though. But he will take time out of his evening or night to lay down beside your Tav as they get their much-needed sleep. Halsin will even spend some nights guarding your Tav as they rest, especially if they’ve been grumpy and sleep-deprived lately. And because he’s a druid with some magical healing abilities, he will try what he can to use calming or sleeping spells if your Tav is having trouble falling asleep.

Halsin is so grateful he can share his love of nature with them. He’s also an enjoyer of listening to your Tav sing along to all the beautiful melodies mother nature supplies.

Halsin knows what it’s like to have bad luck. From being improvised in the Underdark to losing so many friends and family to the Shadow Curse, Halsin is no stranger to the cruelness of fate. But he still manages to have hope for tomorrow, and a good portion of that is because of your Tav. Your Tav reminds him of all Halsin has to fight for.

Halsin may have said he does not believe in monogamy in the past. But with your Tav at his side, something changes. The idea of Halsin’s love wandering anywhere other than your Tav seems impossible to him. He doesn’t want your Tav to see other people. He wants Tav all for himself, for the two of them to commit to each other.

Halsin may feel in over his head at the amount of chaos your Tav can cause, but he feels it’s all worth it in the end. Tav loves all of their companions, and that makes Halsin feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It makes him think Tav would be the perfect companion to help Halsin lead his new refugee settlement outside of the city.

As a matter of fact, nothing would please Halsin more.

#halsin x tav #halsin imagine #halsin x reader #bg3 x tav #bg3 x reader #bg3 matchups #bg3 #baldurs gate matchups #matchups

4 notes · View notes

monstergoblin · 1 year

Text

The Owl Pirates

Posted First On A03 Here It’ll be updated there first and might take me a bit to get to updating it here as I always seem to forget about my tumblr. <3

Summary:

Eda and Lilith were helping Willow back on board as she was the one who jumped in to save the person. The boy with blonde hair wasn’t anyone Luz knew, and she hadn’t spotted anything nearby of a shipwreck or an island. Was the boy even alive?

Luz darted towards Willow quickly offering a hand, even though Eda and Lilith had had it.

“Who is he?” Luz asked dumbly as she stared at the unconscious boy. She knew no one should know the answer, but someone did.

“He’s with the navy.” Lilith pointed out as she backed off from the boy now that WIllow and Luz were carrying him.

“Aw he’s just a little scamp though.” Eda shrugged. “I’m sure we can bring him around.”

“He may be missing his badge, Edalyn.” Lilith's voice was quiet and calm. “But this is Belos nephew.”

------------------------------------------------------------

An owl house pirate au because that's my favorite type of trope.

Trigger warnings Always read safe: Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Pushing down feelings, Overworking self to ignore feelings, Child Abuse (Belos is a bitch okay), Gaslighting, Self Gaslighting, Manipulation, Injuries

Notes: I’ll try my best to updated the trigger warnings as this goes on. Once again its more up to date on A03, Also Tumblr killed my formatting so there might be differences in that or mistakes.

Disclaimer: There's a high probability of plot holes. Some characters may be ooc as 1 im not the best writer, 2 Im not editing 3 In my head in this au lots of different events have happened so characters are meeting at different points in their arcs. I also don’t know shit about boats man I only know one or two things from reading other pirate fics but im going off small google searches.

One more thing most of this is written when I am very sleep deprived enjoy the typos!

Chapter 1: It's bad luck to find a navy boy in the water

She was almost to the top, where she could perch and no one would notice her unless they looked straight up. If she pushed forward she’d make it.

She climbed higher up the ships ropes - daring to see if she could make it to the very top. She had many times before but doing so without being caught was the trick. Sure, the crows nest was a perfect place to see everything but where was the fun in that. Luz wanted to chase this exciting feeling everytime she climbed. Just to see above it all.

“Man overboard!” one of the crewmates' voices hollered from below causing Luz to forget her little adventure entirely.

Someone overboard was much more exciting. She slid her way down the ropes and swung until she landed down close enough to see what was happening or if she was needed. She was so ready to see who fell off the ship and how, but it wasn’t quite what she thought it would be.

Wind rushed around Luzs head making her short hair fluff up in the most comforting - yet messy way. From up here the ocean waves blocked out the noises of the crew. Not that Luz didn’t love her crewmates- it was just nice to have a place so out of reach to escape to.

Was the boy even alive?

Luz darted towards Willow quickly offering a hand, even though Eda and Lilith had had it.

“Who is he?” Luz asked dumbly as she stared at the unconscious boy. She knew no one should know the answer, but someone did.

“He’s with the navy.” Lilith pointed out as she backed off from the boy now that WIllow and Luz were carrying him.

“Aw he’s just a little scamp though.” Eda shrugged. “I’m sure we can bring him around.”

“He may be missing his badge, Edalyn.” Lilith's voice was quiet and calm. “But this is Belos nephew.”

-------------------------------------------------

Overtime one learns to accept defeat.

Knowing death is coming for you and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

His limbs were tired, his chest hurt and he just couldn’t will his body to obey.

Though even if he could move, he probably wouldn’t.

It was a cruel joke that fate would not even allow him death.

Someone was carrying him, or holding him? His senses weren’t working right but something was wrong he just knew. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be, he was supposed to be dead.

“He’s got scars on his face.” A loud voice remarked, he could almost make out the feeling of someone holding his chin, moving his head. Though that could just be the swaying of the world.

“He was the youngest navy officer, of course he’s going to have scars.” Another voice responded, this one older, female, more mature. Somehow it was familiar but Hunter couldn’t place where.

“He looks kinda funny.” A young male voice chirped but then let out a little squeak of surprise.

“Be a little nicer.” This voice is an older male, friendly, soft. “Lay him on the bed girls.”

There was a response from the loud one, but he couldn’t make it out as the voices all started to collide with each other. Then it was silent.

It was too hot. The heaviness of whatever thing was on him was too hot. Despite his body's protests Hunter tried to force the heavy thing off of him, but it wouldn’t budge. The heat of it was going to kill him, he needed to breathe.

A large hand found his arm and Hunter froze. The soft male voice said something but Hunter couldn’t make it out. The arm was holding him but it wasn’t in a hard cruel way so he must not have done something wrong.

“Ha-ha-hot” His mouth wasn’t working properly neither were his eyes. He didn’t know when he’d open them but everything was so dark, and wobbly.

“You need to keep it on.” The voice responded and Hunter knew better than to disobey. Knew that he was entirely too tired to fight back anyway. So he nodded his head which came out as more of his head was just turning slightly.

“Shouldn’t he feel cold?” The chirping young voice asked.

The soft voice explained to the younger one something, but Hunter had closed his eyes, and they were too heavy to open now.

His body was heavier than ever. He just wanted to stay in the soft blanket that engulfed him, and sleep forever. Even if he wanted that his morning routine wouldn’t allow it. As he was about to wake his eyes to open, the events of the last few days replayed in his head.

He didn’t have morning duties to attend to anymore.

Hunter sat up pushing the blanket off of him with ease and took in the sight of his surroundings. The cabin had a set of bunks, a table covered in supplies and cabinets. It was a poor excuse for a medical cabin. From the lack of navy banners in the room, Hunter could guess this would not be a navy ship.

A navy ship would’ve left him to die after all. Like he should’ve.

The door of the cabin swung open and a short boy wearing a yellow bandana around his head came stumbling in carrying far too many towels and bottles in his arms. The boy didn’t notice Hunter sitting up as he came in. He was too busy putting the items down on the desk to even turn his direction. He was muttering something about a stupid Gus under his breath as he sorted out the towels from the bottles.

Only then did he seem to notice Hunter's presence. He stared wildly at the other boy for a few moments before darting out in a panic.

“Steve!” He screamed as he pounded away.

Hunter didn’t know why he stayed in the bed. He should get up, he should walk out the open cabin door, he should fight for his life and escape. So why didn’t he want to.

It wasn’t very long before the scrawny boy returned with a man. The man was a lot less distressed by Hunters awakening than the boy. He closed the door and gently approached the bed taking a seat.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked simply, holding his hand up to Hunters head.

Hunter reflexively flinched back from the hand, but the man didn’t comment, only gave a soft smile.

“When you feel like talking Ill bring Eda in.” The man explained. “Just let me know.”

Why wait? Why not bring her in now?

Get his death over with.

“Shouldn’t we tell Eda now?” The boy asked.

Well technically yes,” The man shrugged and patted the boy's head. “But with near death experiences, his mental state might need that few extra minutes.”

“She’ll be mad if we don’t tell her.” The boy argued.

“We’ll still tell her, just in a few minutes.” The man smiled. “She doesn’t need to know we took our time.” he got off the bed giving Hunter some space and took a chair near the desk instead.

“You know Luz probably heard me already.” The boy turned to the door, which had been closed before but was now open with just a crack. As if the door knew it was being stared at the crack closed.

The man clicked his tongue. “Okay so you wont be getting those few extra minutes then. Matt, can you buy him some time at least.”

“What do I get out of it?” The boy held his head high with a smirk.

The man sighed. “We can figure that out later, just stall her please.”

“I’m holding this favor over your head!” Matt sang as he darted out the door.

Silence overcame the room as the boy ran out. Hunter simply watched it happen.

Buying him time? That seemed stupid. He didn’t need time. He was already far out of time. Why wasn’t he dead? Why didn’t they just leave him?

The burning feeling of being watched made Hunter stop staring at the door. Blue eyes were staring at him, not in the harsh judgemental way, but in a soft curious way. What was he supposed to do? With Judgemental eyes he at least knew how to act. This kindness was unusual for a stranger.

The man didn’t say anything, only watched. He had fluffy hair that was tied up into a ponytail. His cream shirt was barely visible underneath the black coat and many bottles and pouches across he wore, with black pants and boots. It was obvious what this man was, a pirate.

So why did he look vaguely familiar? As if Hunter should know who he’s looking at.

“Do you remember what happened?” The man asked after a long while of staring.

That’s when Hunter looked away, instead choosing to stare back at the door.

“Eda’s gonna demand answers.” The man sighed out. “Just be ready for some yelling.”

Hunter kept his gaze on the door. When he was younger the thought of being stuck on a pirate ship was terrifying. Now he didn’t really feel anything waiting for his impending doom.

“I won’t let her do anything stupid, so don’t be scared.” The man was attempting to comfort but Hunter didn’t need that. “You’re not in danger here.”

Not in danger? That’s a silly thought. Hunter spent his whole life in danger. Empty words weren’t going to change that.

“You’re not gonna talk to me are ya.” The man leaned back in his chair. “Good luck kiddo.”

Good luck?

Hunter never had good luck.

He didn’t want luck.

The silence wasn’t unbearable, just long. Time was passing dreadfully slow and the man didn’t seem to be in a talking mood anymore.

Or maybe just gave up on talking to Hunter.

The door opened with a loud thud and an older woman stormed in. She stopped in front of the bed and stared down at Hunter. Edalyn Clawthorn the owl lady. Captain of the Talon.

The pirate who haunted Hunters dreams not but a week ago. Who if Hunter had met before, he would’ve trembled.

Instead he could only stare at her. Couldn’t bring his mouth to move to form the words that were caught in his throat.

She looked just like her posters, dressed head to toe in red. Boots decorated in golden buttons, long overcoat embroidered an owl design, her hat sitting upon her mess of gray hair. With yellow eyes glaring down at him.

“I know who you are, Hunter.” She started with a bite to her voice. “You’re Belos’ dog, and you were assigned the IvyThorn under the captain Terra.”

None of that mattered anymore. Just get it over with.

“There was a prisoner aboard that ship.” Eda snapped. “Raine Whispers, heading to their execution. Where are they?”

Hunter couldn’t bring himself to care about any of that anymore.

Eda grabbed Hunters shirt collar and pulled him up off the bed. It should’ve hurt, it should’ve been scary.

“Where is Raine?” Eda demanded, but when Hunter only met her angry eyes instead of responding she tossed him back down on the bed pulling her blade from her belt. “You better talk boy! Unless you want me to kill you here and now!”

“Eda-” The man at the desk started- like he promised he would.

“Just do it.” Hunter interrupted, his voice sounding much weaker than he intended.

That caused Eda to pause, her temper fading for a moment as she looked down at Hunter. He did not meet her gaze, only stared at a wall.

“You want me to kill you?” Eda repeated in a quiet disbelief.

“Yes,” Hunters voice broke and his gaze started to get hazy. “Kill me.” His eyes meet Edas now, “I should be dead already, so just kill me.”

“You want to die?”

---------------------------------------------

It was heartbreaking to hear such a small thing say something like that. To long for death over talking to a pirate. It wasn’t an honorable death as the navy had taught them, it wasn’t right.

Though as Eda stared down at the child facing her with such a broken expression asking for death. She could tell this wasn't what the child thought dying was. He didn’t view it as an honor. If he did he wouldn’t be crying.

This kid was so young, just like most of her crew. He was older than most of her kids but still, he was just a child. A broken child, who should be grateful his life was saved, but instead claimed he should be dead.

He wasn’t in an accident. Someone tossed him overboard.

Eda put her blade away with a sigh. This is why everyone started calling her soft. She’d be wrong to deny it at this point. At least she wasn’t a cold blooded monster.

“Look kid.” She put her hands on her hips looking down at the boy who was still silently crying. She didn’t like the miserable nature of him. “What happened?”

The boy only stared up at her waiting. As if his mind was elsewhere. Eda put a hand on his shoulder and he winced.

This was not the arrogant spoiled brat Lilith had thought it was. She had to have been mistaken. Though Lilith was rarely wrong as much as Eda hated to admit. It was annoying at times but he did have too many identifiable features for Lilith to mistake. Scars practically covered him, his face having one on his cheek and on across his nose, his neck had plenty too but the rest was hidden by his clothes.

A child shouldn’t have this many scars.

“Alright.” Eda sighed out. “I need you to talk.”

Hunter didn’t respond, as Eda expected. She picked him back up from the ground and placed him on the bed, and he just let her. Only winced or flinched when she went to grab him, but other than that allowed it.

“Steve.” Eda turned to the ‘doctor’ of the ship. “Has he said anything to you?”

“Not before you entered.” Steve stood now with his hands in his coat pockets.

“Keep an eye on him.” Eda ordered marching out of the room.

“Course captain.”

-------------------------------------------

Eda had told her not to talk to the newcomer. Camila had told her to listen to Eda. It wasn’t a hard thing to do. One easy little job to avoid the newcomer. Yet Luz wasn’t told not to spy on him. She had done that when Matt went screaming for Steve earlier. She saw them talking to the boy, but he never said anything back. She was the one who told Eda he woke up.

She knew better than to spy on Eda when she’s mad, if Luz got caught when Eda was in a bad mood, well it wasn’t fun. Though Eda would never hurt any of them, she was too nice for that. It was just Eda was very stressed sometimes, everyone was. Eda wanted to find Raine again, hopefully the ship Hunter was on didn’t sink. Raine would’ve been a prisoner and Luz doubted the navy would’ve allowed Raine to not have their hands bound.

“What is she gonna do with him?” Luz asked allowed as she leaned against the railing of the ship.

“Probably kill him.” Gus shrugged as he sat on the wooden deck of this ship.

“Then Steve would’ve wasted all that time fixing him.” Matt argued sitting on top of a barrel. “He’s been working so hard to help this guy for days, If Eda just kills him it's pointless.”

“Come on guys, this is Eda.” Luz laughed. “She may seem all big and scary but we all know she’s a sweetheart.”

Said sweetheart marched past the trio and towards Lilith. Not acknowledging anyone else as she passed. She didn’t seem angry from what Luz could tell- and Luz was getting pretty good at reading her. She was just trying to figure out what she was going to do.

Which meant it wouldn’t be a big deal if Luz broke the rules right now.

“Let’s go check on him.” Luz jumped from the railing and darted towards the medbay before the others could come up with a reasonable argument not to.

“Luz.” Matt whined but followed Gus- who did not protest- and Luz anyway. “Edas gonna be mad.” he whispered out.

“I wont tell her if you don’t” Gus chuckled.

The door was one of the few that didn’t squeak open- yet- on the ship. Those doors were always the best for listening in on conversations she wasn’t meant to be a part of. Through the crack Luz could make out the blonde boy- Hunter- sitting on the bed. He was crossing his arms, not in a casual way, but in a stiff way. He starred ahead blankley as tears were streaming down his cheeks.

Did Eda yell at him?

“Actually, let’s give him privacy.” Gus whispered, being the first to back away. Luz nodded in agreement. This had seemed a lot more fun if the newcomer had been rude or snarky.

He didn’t seem like a navy boy.

“I told you it was a bad idea.” Matt whined as the three made their way back to the main part of the deck. “No one listens to Matt.”

“Matt, if we listened to you, we wouldn’t have fun.” Gus argued with a smile.

“I am plenty of fun!” Matt defended.

“Yeah?” Gus questioned. “prove-”

“Luz!” Edas voice interrupted their conversation. She was standing near the door of the captains quarters crossing her arms waiting. There wasn’t any way Eda actually saw them sneaking over to the medbay. Right?

“Yeah?” Luz hopped her way over to Eda trying her best to look innocent.

“Come in, I have an idea.” Eda held the door open for Luz.

---------------------------------------------

They wanted information. Information Hunter did not have. Either way they would kill him, they’re pirates. If he gave them information they’d kill him after, or if he didn’t they’d do it as punishment. It’s what the navy told him.

So why weren’t they killing him now?

Hunter hadn’t stopped crying since he started. He tried but his tears didn’t like to listen. He wasn’t even upset, he’d cried enough already why was he still crying? That man just kept looking over at him too. As if concerned.

As if pirates could be concerned.

He didn’t dare move, or more- he didn’t want to move. He only sat on the bed holding himself, waiting and crying. He wished the owl captain would get back soon so she could end him and the haunting memories would just stop.

The door swung open as if fate was finally hearing his cries.

In the doorway walked a young girl. She wore a purple bandana around her head that covered most of her hair, but little brown fluffs escaped. She had a cream shirt underneath a purple vest and brown pants that flooded around the top of her boots. She had a bright smile on her face.

Behind her walked Eda with a smirk on her face as well.

“Hunter, you aren’t going to die by my hand.” Eda declared- as if it were some amazing announcement. He didn’t care how he died, just knew it was coming. “Instead you’re going to be helping us out, little owl.”

He looked over to Eda now. Unsure what to think about her decision.

“This is Luz.” Eda introduced the little girl. “I'm placing you under her watch, in case you get any ideas. Do you understand Hunter?”

He didn’t know why he nodded.

“Now, If you have any information regarding Raine, I would appreciate it, but I doubt you do.” Eda added. “Luz, remember what we talked about.”

Luz gave a quick nod, smiling all too brightly.

Edalyn Clawthorn was forcing a navy boy to join her ship? What help would that be? What kind of captain instantly turns an enemy into a crewmember? How had she not been betrayed yet?

As Eda left the room Luz came closer to the bed.

“Hi, I’m Luz Noceda.” She held out her hand, but when Hunter did not take it she put it back down with an awkward little shuffle. “Well, I guess that's not your style. Would you like a tour of the ship?”

Hunter chose a random wall to stare at, between Steve-who was still watching Hunter- and Luz. As to keep them in his sight but not actually have to look at them. He was too tired to look at them.

“Well that’s okay, it’s been a long week for you.” Luz took a seat next to Hunter, she was too close. “I’m just glad to see you’re not crying anymore.”

He hadn’t realized he’d stopped.

2ND Chapter Tumblr Link

7 notes · View notes

alex-rambles · 1 year

Note

Possible tw.

Honestly I think they use that tag to convince themselves that they aren’t supporting unhealthy and wrong things and yet their posts prove otherwise. It reminds me of ppl who are like “I’m not racist. Buuuuut..”

Also ik I’ve never seen you before but I can assure you that there’s nothing wrong with your body. Yea social media and other people might try to convince you that there is but honestly more than likely they’re just doing that because they’re insecure with their own bodies. And besides, no one is perfect. Even the most beautiful person is insecure of certain parts of their body too. Even William lololol. And since you’re young, its normal to feel this way but trust me, whenever you get older and you look back at pictures when you were the age you are now you’re going to be like “wtf?? What was I so insecure about? I literally don’t look as bad as I thought.” And I know its difficult with your dysphoria and other people but you‘ll get through this. And all the fighting and efforts will all be worth it in the end. You just need to know that you’re worthy of love regardless of how you view your body and that you do matter along with your wants and needs. And idk if you’re planning to have gender reassignment surgery in the future but if you are, ik you'll get there even if your family and others aren’t supportive of it. It’s your life afterall. You get to decide what to do with it and if that makes others unhappy, so be it. Alr I kinda sound like a boomer but yea you’ll get through this even if you don’t think you have it in you to continue. Just believe in yourself and know that you do matter regardless of what others may say.

Wow. Thank you for this post, seriously. I am really hoping that this is just a sleep deprivation thing because I've been sleeping worse and the bad thoughts tend to get worse when I don't sleep. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like it this time, as usually those just involve me looking at m3ansp0 boredly.

I actually needed this a lot, and you mentioning my beloved PIECE OF SHIT made me appreciate it more. I'll read this when I get a good night's sleep (hopefully tonight) and use it as my little positivity reminder.

Seriously you are a blessing anon I love you.

#tw anorexia #tw ana #tw ed

3 notes · View notes

quietquaking · 2 years

Text

i’m copy/pasting a conversation i just had with my partner on mental health to here in the hopes that it might help some people. so, here we go.

*tw*: mild mentions of suicidal thoughts

my partner: i’m sorry i’m not getting better. it’s my fault.

me: there’s no reason to be sorry. and it’s not your fault.

partner: how the fuck is it not my fault

me: ok lemme try and armchair-diagnose you real quick

i’m guessing you think it’s your fault because things aren’t getting better. despite the much larger amounts of mental health representation in media these days, most of it is of people getting better. this can be good to see, but it’s also very discouraging for people still stuck in their traumatic situations, such as yourself. you compare your minimal amount of progress to theirs, and feel like you’re doing something wrong. you may also blame yourself because, quite honestly, you don’t really want to get better. maybe because you think you deserve it, or because your struggle defines your personality and you don’t think you’ll be anybody without it. or, like you said, you see the lack of progress and see what you’re doing to slow it down as well. ok. time to disprove all of those reasons.

for one, the fact that you’re not getting better is entirely expected. this is because you are still stuck in the trauma that is highschool and your household. it is quite literally impossible to get better when you are still actively getting hurt. there is no way to go about it. the main thing to do is survive, so that you have the chance to heal afterwards.

on the topic of part of you not wanting to get better, for if that’s something that applies to you. there’s really no scientific or logical way to dispel this one, so i’ll do what i can, which is offering my own personal experiences as an example. i was in that exact scenario. i came out of eighth grade a depressed, guilty, anxious, suicidal mess. for a variety of reasons. then, i started feeling a little bit better. immediately, i got so guilty and tried to make myself be depressed again. i thought i didn’t deserve the happiness, that it would prove everything i went through was just me being dramatic, and altogether fake. i also thought without my jokes about my sleep deprivation, eating habits, and suicidal wishes, i wouldn’t have a personality. i would turn bland and normal, sink into the masses of other teens who are marginally ok with everything, and disappear. well, it didn’t happen. i was slowly convinced/forced by my friends that i did deserve something better, if not happiness then at least a lack of depression. i let it go, and my issues faded, became less up-front and in my face. they’re still there now, but since i don’t hold them to close to myself, they’re much easier to handle. and, i grew a personality. you’ve seen it for yourself- i’ve grown into a flourishing young person, with lots of hobbies and talents and friends, and i actually enjoy my life, at least sometimes. it can sound impossible, and fake, and it’s easy to respond with “oh sure it worked for you, but it won’t for me”. but that’s not something you can know unless you actually give it a chance. just try. let go of your demons, and let them coexist, rather than clinging to you like an evil little thing ready to suck out all your dopamine.

now the hardest one. your own faults being magnified. you see yourself, the depressed, anxious, worn-out version that is the only one you can find. and you see the things you may be doing wrong, slowing down your own progress, digging your heels into the mountain you built out of self-hate and refusing to move forward. you connect the two, and see yourself as the problem. i won’t lie. you’re not perfect, nobody is. you’re definitely doing some things that don’t help anything, and very possibly make things worse. but that does not mean you are to blame. you are not the one that started the cycle of neglect and blame and abuse in your household. you are not the one that instigated the bullying and harassment from the assholes at school and your brother. if someone else started a fire, and you added a single log, would you blame yourself for the forest burning?

you are not the reason you are hurting. you are not the reason you’re not getting better. you can, of course, improve your own behavior, as everybody can. but you are not the root of the problem, and you have no reason to blame yourself.

(there is more if anyone is interested but i feel like this post is already long enough)

#i know this is long but if blaming yourself is something you struggle with please read it #mental health #mental health crisis #mental health help

4 notes · View notes

passerine-writes · 2 years

Text

Symbols - Chapter 30

Warnings: Descriptions of a panic attack but no actual one, its on the shorter side though Word count: 2421

Back to Masterlist

Timeline | Chapter 31

"Miss Burukiku, thank you for coming down to my office, please have a seat." I glanced at the principal who just called me down before homeroom could even fully begin and let my enervated body sit in one of the comfortable chairs. "Sorry for not calling you down yesterday, I was out due to family matters. One of your friends came down on Tuesday telling me some very concerning things." In all honesty, I couldn't care less about being down here. I'm so tired, I can feel my eyes getting heavy. Going to school on no sleep is never the right move, but when will I learn that? "Your father also called, saying that he is very concerned about the treatment you received here. So-" The principal got cut off by the door opening and a secretary walking the three girls in. I instantly felt more awake and alert, my fight or flight response kicking in. "Perfect timing, ladies please have a seat. So, Burukiku, can you tell me in your own words, what exactly happened Monday evening?" I shifted awkwardly in my seat, not enjoying being the center of attention.

"Is it necessary for them to be here? Quite frankly I'm uncomfortable with those three being here." He sighed and looked at the four of us.

"I'm sorry, but it is necessary."

"How come? I don't think you would be too fond if a brand new colleague had to talk poorly about you and your wrong doings to the superintendent. I would believe it would be uncomfortable and potentially hostile on both ends. Let alone, there are three rather than one. So if it is not mandatory for them to be here while I state what happened then I don't want them here. If you can show me in writing where it says they are required to, then they can gladly stay." All four looked at me in shock as I spoke in such a monotonous voice.

"Very well, my apologies. Ladies, would you mind waiting in the hall?" The three rolled their eyes but left the room promptly.

"Are you actually going to do anything if I tell you?" He looked shocked at my insinuation.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Look, sir, this isn't the first time I've been through this type of thing. All of middle and my first year of high school, girls have used me, bullied me, harassed me, spread rumors, and so on, because I'm primarily friends with boys and typically they're on the volleyball team. This is the first time it's escalated to physical violence, so I want to know if I'm just going to waste my breath and nothing will get done. Or if I should just leave now because it would equate to the same thing. So are you going to take this seriously?" He looked defeated, more and more as I spoke.

"Miss Burukiku, I can't guarantee anything without a statement. However, those are three very well known girls. Their parents are-"

"Thank you for not wasting my time sir, I can tell this won't be going anywhere. I'm going to asume you've seen the surveillance footage and saw what exactly happened. So I'm pleased to know you condone violence and allow transfer students to be sent home black and blue from people that are supposed to be my peers. However if this happens again, I'll be sure to try my luck with the superintendent rather than you. Have a nice day." With that, I stood up and walked out of his office to make my way back to class.

——————

"You did what?!" I looked at Komori as he walked with Sakusa and I to the vending machine. I desperately needed coffee so they decided to come along.

"I told him if he wouldn't take me seriously I would leave, so I left. What's he going to do? Give me detention for proving a point while remaining civil?" Komori rubbed his chin in thought and coming up blank.

"She has a point, however that may just be the sleep deprivation talking. You look very tired today, Kaara." I hummed and swiftly took a sip of my iced, canned coffee.

"Kaara?" The three of us stopped as Komini came up behind us. I didn't have the energy for what could transpire right now. We turned towards him and he awkwardly scratched his neck. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" He glanced to his friends flanking me. "Alone, please?"

"Sure, you guys go on ahead, I'll catch up." They looked at me with enlarged eyes, acting as though I grew a third head, which I guess could be the equivalent to being civil with Komini.

"You sure?" I looked to the brunet and nodded, he hesitated but eventually him and Sakusa started walking off.

"Are you alright? A-After last night, I mean, I've never seen you react on that level before." I wanted to bang my head against a wall, I had a feeling this is what he wanted to talk about.

"Yeah I'm fine. I used to get them a lot more often." His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as we walked at a snails pace. "Panic attacks, that's what that was last night. That's why I carry meds with me. I don't think you saw it last week but after Kita made some space between us, I was already having one." A look of guilt plagued his face, I tried not to hold any ill will against him for last week, but some days it's hard not to. I don't want to fault him for things he has a hard time controlling, like his anger issues, however it's hard with some of the nightmares I get.

"What does it feel like?" I paused for a moment, not getting this question often.

"It varies a little from person to person. But the baseline is drowning. Have you ever been frozen in fear?" He looked at his shoes and nodded after a moment. "Similar concept. Your mind gets fuzzy, your heart racing, arms get tingly like they're bubbling. It's hard to breathe. Sometimes I get flashbacks with mine. The worse they are, the more intense the symptoms. My meds help though, I've been on them for a year or so, but I've been getting them since middle school." He slowly nodded, being oddly sympathetic this early in the morning.

"You look tired. Did you get any sleep last night?" I shook my head.

"Nope. It's not my first time running on no sleep and it won't be the last." I held up my drink to show it off. "That's why I have this. Gotta stay awake somehow." He genuinely looked unsettled by this statement.

"Is it because of last night?" I repressed a sigh, why did he have to act like he cared about this?

"Yeah, don't like sleeping after panic attacks." His eyebrows crinkled a bit. "Thank you for actually asking but I'm tired and don't have the brain power. So can we talk about all of this another day?" He nodded and bid me goodbye at the classroom door before leaving again.

"Did you two just have a civil conversation?" I looked at Komori who was staring in shock from the desk.

"Yeah, we talked things over last night so I think we're on a more civil route now. I hope so at least." The two just stared incredulously, not believing that Komini and I are starting to get on a good page.

——————

"Kaara, pleasure to see you're back over on this side of the gym! I wanted to talk to you about Komori's training. He was hoping to start this weekend." I sat down beside the coach as he welcomed me.

"Hi coach, that's actually exactly what I wanted to talk to you about." He nodded enthusiastically, gesturing for me to sit beside him. "I know Komori wants to start this weekend but with everything going on I didn't realize I'm going to be out of town to watch the prelims for nationals. I can start getting somewhat of a training program started for him today and I can start with him personally on Monday if that's alright."

"That's perfectly fine. What did you have in mind for today?" I ran my plan by him and he agreed but on the condition that I told the team since he wants to treat me like a manager.

"Alright! Everyone gather around please!" The boys looked around curiously and I heard some scoffs in the stands. "Coach? Are they allowed to be here or can I kick them out?" I asked quietly and he glanced up to see the three girls sitting in the bleachers.

"They aren't allowed to be here, if you'd like you can have the honors of kicking them out." I nodded once and turned to the boys.

"Give me one moment, sorry." I turned to the bleachers and looked at the three girls. "You three aren't allowed to be here, so leave before I call security!" They all looked at me, completely baffled by my direction. The blonde trying to speak but I cut her off. "I don't care who your parents are, coach said you aren't permitted to watch so out, now." She huffed and stomped her foot but they thankfully left. "Great, now, back to what I called you all over here for. Today we're doing a mock practice match. On team one it will be Komori, Sakusa, Getan, Horimiya, Kunomo, and Tensei. Team two will be Iizuna, Fumikawa, Kane, Rinto, Hagakure and Toshi. There's a catch, Komini, when you serve, I only want you doing floaters. Komori, when you're receiving float serves, I only want you going over hand. Any other serve, receive it how you want. If you miss or mess up, that's fine, it's part of learning. I can't start training you until Monday since I'll be out of town but this'll give you a feel for what it could be like in a real game. Everyone else, you'll be called in if needed but until then you're going to wait on the sides. Alright?" Everyone nodded in excitement while Komini looked at me in shock, surprised that I had picked him for a team instead of another pinch server. "One last thing, starting next school year I will officially be the manager for boys volleyball. I'm technically an interim now but come April of next year, you might just hate me." They all cheered and high fived each other, and thankfully Iizuna got them under wraps and back on track.

I watched as they played their mock match, taking notes for Monday to try and figure out how to help Komori most effectively. He got a few over hand receives in, but most of them missed since he struggled more than some to predict ball patterns.

"What're you writing there Kaara?" I looked up at coach and showed him my notes of the guys playing so far and things they may need to work on together or separately in the future. "Very nice, I didn't even notice some of- Oh hello principal, can I help you?" All of the boys stopped mid rally, concerned as to what could have brought the principal here. But I saw the three she-devils standing at the doorway.

"Yes, I'm sorry for the intrusion, however these three students stopped by and said some concerning things. That Miss Burukiku here demanded they leave practice and called them some inappropriate names." I rolled my eyes and stood beside the coach.

"Yes she told them to leave but under my instruction. However I can assure you she said nothing inappropriate or offensive." The principal went to leave but stopped as one of the girls gave him an odd look.

"Why exactly is Burukiku allowed here but those three are not? I would consider that to be unfair treatment." The coach sighed and looked at the principal with a tired expression.

"Kaara is allowed to be here because she's acting as an interim manager and I'd like to see her skills with it before she joins in the spring. Aside from that, Kaara's brother is on the team and I don't see it as unfair treatment after what they did to her on Monday. I'm not going to dismiss her for being the victim of something, as far as I'm concerned those three should be, at the very least, suspended right now. However I'm not telling you how to do your job, so please don't tell me how to do mine." The principal sighed and bowed.

"Alright, you have a nice evening." Coach watched as the three girls stomped outside after the principal, clearly upset that they didn't get their way for once.

"Thank you coach." I said with a bow, my heart aching in content as I realized I was apart of something again. Something that wouldn't cast me aside. Something I didn't realize I missed so much in the last year and a half.

"No need for thanks, Kaara. I'm glad to back you up. Especially if it's against that new youngster. He only started here about two or three years ago, but he thinks his lolly gagging, push over methods are effective. I don't care if I'm not in my youth anymore and I don't care if he doesn't respect me as his elder, he's barely even a man in my book." We all laughed at his bitter tone, not expecting him to take that approach on views, but he had a point. "We have an hour left of practice so keep it up boys."

"Third years, can you stay after for a moment? Sakusa, Komori, I'll be out in a minute." Coach and I made our way over to Iizuna, Kane, Hagakure and Horimiya. "You don't have to give me an answer if you don't have one yet, but who would you like to volunteer for captain next year? I know who I'm voting for, and if you don't have someone in mind yet, just let me know before you graduate please." They all looked at each other and Iizuna looked back at me.

"Actually, we've already been talking about this and we have a unanimous vote." I looked at them happily, not expecting this but I was more than in agreement with who they picked.

3 notes · View notes

artkadukan · 11 months

Note

Idk, murder explosion and cookies? Also ye can choose the genre I don't know much about them

I think I got a bit too carried away-

this doesn’t really have a plot tbh I’m just sleep deprived.

[the words you told me are in italics]

It didn’t matter if it was 12pm, or 12am, according to a certain Ms. Jenkins, she swore to dedicate any spare time she had to the Warren’s family murder case. Fuelled with caffeine, almond cookies and a laptop by her side, she would spend time investigating the infamous case which was closed over a decade ago.

Why was she researching a case which was long forgotten about, you may ask? Sometimes, she would tell you that it was for her criminology paper, other times she would say it was just to pass the summer. Yet, only she knew the real reason why, a reason which I hope you won’t be too bothered by.

You see, in the year of 1996, the entire Warren family of 5 were murdered by a person from New Hampton, who was known by the alias the ‘Dawn Killer’, for they were known to kill their victims just before the day began. The series of murders were known as the ‘Dawn Killings’, of which the Warren’s family case was the most famous, because of the pure and utter grotesque nature of it.

Of course, all murders are violent and gory, but this killing was so graceful and artistic in a way that it was entirely unsettling, it was sure to make anyone want to claw their eyes out.

The policemen who found the bodies described it to be the ‘most horrifying and unsettling thing they had ever seen in their career’. Each body had been found in a different room with their abdomens ripped open, their body covered in an explosion of red blood, and each one had an eerily realistic portrait of them painted on the bare wall above them, allegedly with their own blood.

None of the victims before the Warrens had gotten this star treatment, and nobody figured out why to this day. Of course they didn’t, Ms. Jenkins was too clever to figure out, even for the top CIA officers.

She didn’t really have a reason for the series of murders, no, she was just a plain psychopath, to put it simply. She sipped on her cappuccino, frowning as she looked over the pictures of the crime scene, disappointed at how the eyes didn’t align perfect in one of the bloody paintings, or how the nose was crooked in another.

‘I could have done a much better job, if I had the time’, she muttered to herself, thinking about she ever even got away with such a crime.

Perhaps, in another life, she’ll finally be able to paint with blood as well as she paints with acrylics.

#I seriously have no idea what I just wrote.#this. This is terrible.#I think there’s actually something wrong with me help #aho writes

1 note · View note

inmamawords · 2 years

Text

I have spent many nights in this room. Trying to calm June, trying to understand her brain, trying to sleep next to her restless body, many hours googling her symptoms, crying out to God for sleep. I’ve also spent many mornings on this floor praising God for the light of day and in the same breath begging for an answer as to why her brain won’t allow for rest. I’ve prayed over every corner and every fiber in this room and what I’ve come to learn in these many years of unrest is that tho I have lost sleep I have gained Perspective. And what a gift perspective is. Because you see it’s not until you lose something that you may truly appreciate or even recognize the gift that it is. Most people may not even look at sleep as a gift but more of just something we do. I never knew how much sleep was a gift until I experienced years and years of sleep deprivation. Just like with anything we lose we don’t appreciate it as much or look at it as a gift until it’s gone.

If I didn’t have these restless nights I also wouldn’t have the story of redemption God has provided in my life. He has sustained me through the long weeks, months, years of little to no sleep. The long nights brought me to my knees time and time again and while most times tears streamed my face and my desperate audible cries out to God got louder and more frequent I never lost my faith in Him. My story of unrest was greeted with the greatest gift I could ever ask for- intimate Jesus. It was these nights that brought me to my knees and my tear streamed face to the carpeted now damp floor of Junes room where He met me. And here I am finally on the other side, june resting and me learning how to rest again. Faith doesn’t always looks pretty. I have learned I can be angry and still be faithful, I can cry and still be faithful, I can ask God “why?!” and still be faithful, I can see a counselor and still be faithful, i can seek help and still be faithful. I can spend a season being filled up by others rather than pouring out and still be faithful. It is an act of faith to ask for help, to say “I’m not ok but I want to be”. We are not meant to do this life alone. I find it ironic that while I was literally losing physical rest God was teaching me how to find permanent soul rest. Unraveling these perfect little narratives of how life should be and how life actually is. It’s hard, it’s messy, it’s broken, but it’s beautiful. The broken parts of us piece us beautifully into wholeness. And I hope to never stop breaking because the more we break the more we grow.

#candidmotherhood #momminainteasy #motherhood

0 notes

littleoanh · 2 years

Note

Albie may I request something 🥺 It can be Mikey or Hanma from Tokyo Revengers - whichever is easier for you and x reader. Cat and mouse kinda themed where reader is a cop/detective chasing them around with increasing “totally not sexual tension” each time they meet and he gets investigated. I don’t know why I want this - but I do.

Also sorry if this is dumb and I’m not very clear. I’m sleep deprived now and also I never know exactly what I want ever. 😭😭😭😭

A/N: LEEEEEE!! MY DARLING ❤️, of course you can request something from me 🥺. I remembered your favorite version of Mikey is Manila Mikey and instantly my brain came up with the perfect title and got a storyline. This is not dumb, this is brillant!! I hope you enjoy this :DDD (my triple chins 😂).

Catch Me If You Can

Characters: Manila!Mikey x Detective!Reader (no pronouns used)

Warnings: Cursing, mention of murder (not by reader), alcohol consumption, some sexual tension (subtle flirting and touching), mentions of tear gas (reader not affected), chase scenes, making out, small bit of sexual fantasy, implied stalking, manga spoiler and angst ending.

Like, reblogging, and kind comments are appreciated.

You are a well known private detective, who helps on cases that the police force can’t solve by themselves. At first, you reject Izumi because you are well aware how unattainable Mikey is. Why chase something impossible? But you changed your mind when a pattern in Mikey's sightings was discovered. Izumi left a file of what the police had gathered on Mikey. The photos from street security cameras have dates on the bottom left corner. It appears Mikey comes to this particular cafe on the third Thursday of the month at a specific time.

He should be here. Your eyes remain staring at your phone, pretending to read something. Each time the doors open, you use your peripherals to see if the incoming customer has black hair. No, it’s a woman.

This is the second month you have staked out the place. Why isn’t he here yet? Did you misread the pattern? Or was it just pure coincidence Mikey just “happens” to be here to trick the police? Feeling stumped, you give another fifteen minutes to see if he would come… but he never shows up. Damn, you finish drinking your beverage and step outside of the cafe.

Lost in your thoughts, trying to think of the next steps, “Psst!” Your eyes flicker in an alleyway and spot a familiar face. “Detective.” Akito, your most trusty informant gestures for you to come over.

Quietly and swiftly, you slip into the alleyway. “What is it, Akito? You are not normally in these parts of the area.” You arch one of your eyebrows.

“I’m not but,” Their eyes look at the surrounding area, making sure no one is around, “I got some information.” You scrunch your eyebrows together.

“Information on what? I am not officially-”

“It’s about Sano.” You tense slightly, hoping it wasn’t noticeable, how’d you know I was looking for him? “He’s going to be at Roppongi Square Lounge tonight.” What? This doesn’t make any sense. From the file you read about Mikey, he is not known to be in social settings.

“Source?”

“Does it matter? Have my sources ever been wrong?” Akito questions you, it’s true… Akito has never given you bad information.

“No, you’re right. Thanks, Akito.” You both part ways in the opposite direction, your doubts are very low about this intel but you are willing to take this risk. If this is your chance to find Mikey, you will seize it.

You put on formal attire for the strict dress code at Roppongi Square Lounge. You make sure your hair is not out of place, your face is clean and done up, and you put on your most attractive scent. Upon entering the lounge, you blend into the crowd, bopping your head to the music, feeling out the crowd. Your eyes survey the area to see if Mikey is here, your eyes fixate on a familiar black hair man.

Mikey is sitting alone on a private couch, being standoffish. Need to find a way to get to him. You amble your way to the bar to order a drink, still keeping your eye on him. His dark eyes are blank and empty and his expression is unreadable. What is on his mind? All he is staring at, is the drink in his hand. Once you grab your drink, you walk in the direction of the private couch area not directly towards him. You don’t make it obvious that he’s your target of the night.

Showtime… you innocently stroll by his seat and clumsily trip and spill your drink content onto his black trousers. You gasp and forge your innocence, “Oh no, I’m so sorry.” Mikey’s reaction doesn’t seem to be faze, his dark pupils are now on you. You grab the table napkin, kneel down to dab on his trouser to dry it. “I hope it doesn’t stain.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Your ears perk, you never heard his voice before and it’s actually… quite pleasant but quiet. “Are you alright?” Mikey surprisingly asks you, for a notorious criminal his mannerism seems too polite.

“I’m fine, please don’t worry about me.” You laugh softly, you finish dabbing his trouser and stand back up. “As an apology, may I order you a drink?” His unpredictable expression makes you nervous but you remain composed.

“You are the one whose drink spilled,” Mikey’s black orbs flicker between the empty glass in your hand and your face, “I’ll buy you a drink and you can keep me company.” Got him, you mentally smirk at your success.

“Thank you, you are so thoughtful.” Mikey pats on the cushion for you to take a seat beside him. You graciously sit a bit closer to him than he expects, and his eyes twinkle. He lifts a finger and a waiter comes over in an instant, taking your drink order. He oozes a commanding aura that you unawarely get attracted to.

“Tell me about yourself.” He takes a sip of his drink, the smell of alcohol tingles your nostrils.

“Oh, there’s really not much to tell.” You don’t want to be the center of conversation, “I’m really not an interesting person. Very mundane.” Mikey’s lips spread into a melancholy smile and his eyes softened as well.

“I’m sure you are more than mundane.” His hand lightly grazes your leg, then firmly rests on your thigh. Strangely enough, you feel sparks when he touches you. The warmth of his hand feels nice, he notices how you like his hand on your thigh. He starts moving his hand dangerously up and down. “What’s your name?” The waiter brings you a drink and swiftly leaves you two alone.

“[Alias Name].” You take a sip of your choice of beverage. His black eyes are staring into yours, deciphering if you are telling the truth or not. His melancholy smile didn’t falter from his face.

“Nice to meet you… [Alias Name].” He momentarily pauses before leaning into you, the smell of whiskey and cologne fills your nostrils. Your heart starts pounding furiously, the way he intensely looks at you brings heat to your cheeks. “Nervous?” Damn, can he feel your heart thumping against your ribcage.

“What’s there to be nervous about?” You boldly caress his cheek, Mikey’s cheek is smooth and surprisingly soft. His hand moves to your inner thigh, getting closer to your nether region. His lips are a breath away from yours, his eyes show a hunger to have a taste of you. Then someone clears their throat, having the both of you lean back.

“Sorry to interrupt,” They nervously glance over at Mikey, whose expression is once again unreadable. “I need to speak with you… privately.” This must be one of their lackeys. They take a quick glance at you, Mikey squeezes your thigh one last time before getting up.

“See you later, [Alias Name].” He takes one last look at you before walking with the other person. You watch where Mikey walks off to before following that trail behind him from a safe distance to not be caught doing something suspicious. They walk through a dimly lit hallway that leads to the back of the building. You stop and crouch near the slightly ajar door where they enter, hearing some voices.

“-is at Tokyo Bay at 10 PM tomorrow night to make the exchange.” The person passes on the information to Mikey, perfect! I can catch him in the act and put this bastard in jail. Mikey dismisses the person, glancing back at the door. You hold your breath, making sure to stay statue-still. After a couple of minutes, he nonchalantly strolls out into the busy streets of Roppongi. You let out a sigh, feeling determined that you will catch him and you make a phone call to Izumi for back up.

9:55 PM is when Mikey shows up at Tokyo Bay, alright … let’s see what you’re up to. Izumi and you hold your position waiting for the right moment to jump in to arrest Mikey. Exactly 10 PM, a different lackey meets up with Mikey for the exchange. The lackey hands Mikey an envelope and Mikey gives him something in return. Now!

“Hold it right there, Sano!” You and Izumi step into your positions, along with back ups. “Both hands in the air and-” Mikey doesn’t let Izumi finish, he aims his gun at you and pulls the trigger. It miss you literally by a hair, then a lackey throws a tear gas bomb towards your direction.

“Detective!” Izumi pushes you away, making sure you won’t be affected by the smoke. You quickly notice Mikey getting away, oh no you don’t!

You chase after Mikey, picking up your pace and running through the busy streets in the heart of Tokyo. Gaining momentum, you catch up to him. Just a little bit more! Grasping his arm, you actually grab him! Got you, you bastard! You pull him into the closet alley to handcuff him but the moment you step into the alley, you get slammed against the concrete wall.

“Ah!” Your head bangs against the wall, disorienting you. Mikey takes the time to place his knee in between your legs and trapping your hands above your head. “Mikey, you-” Mikey captures your lips and kisses you hungrily. What the-?! You try to fight back, but his lips set your lips on fire, the way his lips mold into yours amazingly well. You couldn’t help but to moan, giving him the chance to slip his tongue into yours. Dominating and exploring the depths of your mouth. Feels so good, you stop resisting and letting him take control over you.

His hand loosing his grip on yours and sliding down to your waist, squeezing them. You want nothing more than to wrap your legs around him. The kiss finally breaks, leaving you in a steamy trance. Mikey steps back and leaves you there in a daze before you come back to your senses. What! No! You step back into the crowd again, you only see a glimpse of him but he slips into the busy crowd. UGHHHHHH! DAMN IT!!

It’s been a week since you had last seen Mikey, there are no leads and traces of him. It’s as though he never existed. But no, you know he is real. You haven’t stopped thinking about the kiss in the alley. Did he do it on purpose to escape? Or did he truly feel something for you? Your office phone starts to ring, it is an unknown number and you pick up the receiver. “Hello, Detective [L/n] speaking.”

“Detective, it’s Akito.” Your informant Akito normally calls you using a burner phone. “I got some information on Mikey.” Your ears perk again and abruptly stand up from your chair.

“What is it?!” You accidentally shout through the phone, you are at your wits end.

“He’s leaving the country,” Your eyes widen in bewilderment, “I’m not sure where and what time but he’s leaving today. He will be at Narita Airport.”

“Thanks Akito!” You hang up the phone, then make a phone call to Izumi’s data analyst team and you relay the information to Mai, their hacker.

“I am not seeing his name anywhere on today’s flight list.”

“Just keep trying-”

“Hold on.” She sounds confused over the phone, “I found something strange.” You hear fast typing on her end. “I don’t see his name here, but yours is.” Your heart beats erratically, what? How was that even possible? “There’s a ticket with your name that is leaving for Brazil in 20 minutes from now.” You let out a string of curses. She provides you with the terminal and gate number.

“Thanks Mai, call Izumi for me to get me clearance at the Narita Airport!”

“Got it!” You rush out of your office, climb into your car and zoom into the streets like you’re a race car driver. You use an emergency siren that Izumi gave you and luckily, cars split up to give you a quick route to your destination. You make it to the airport in about 15 minutes, I still have time to catch him! You rush over to the security lane pre-TSA and you lift up your detective badge for TSA to verify your identity. “Please let me through!”

Another TSA confirms your clearance and allows you to pass security. Gate 53, you run through the crowd trying to find your objective gate. You have less than 5 minutes left to try to find that gate. You do your best to not brush or accidentally bump into other passengers. There it is! You use the last of your energy to increase your speed, however the doors are already closed and the plane at the gate is now gone. No! You approach the TSA by the podium huffing and puffing.

“Good Afternoon, may I help you?” The TSA lady questions.

“I-I need you… to contact the pilot… and tell them to turn back around.” She looks at you, surprised.

“Pardon?”

“There’s a criminal escaping the country! I need you to contact the pilot and have them turn the plane around.” You flash your badge.

“Um, I’m sorry but I cannot do that unless there is a warrant. Do you have a warrant?”

“...No, I don’t.” She frowns.

“I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do.” You let out another string of curses, blaming yourself for not making it to the gate on time. “Are you [Y/n] [L/n] by any chance?” You are puzzled how she knows your name.

“Yes, why?” She grabs something from under the podium, it is an envelope. The same envelope you saw a lackey handed over to Mikey the night at Tokyo Bay.

“This is for you.” She politely hands it over to you, “I was informed to give this to you.” You take the envelope, it’s fairly light but you can tell there is content inside of it from the light. You open the envelope and take out a note. Something slips out of the note as you open up to read it.

Thanks, it’s been fun playing with you.

“What?” You look down to find several polaroids on the floor, bending over to pick them up. “What the hell…” The polaroids are of you interacting with Akito prior to meeting Mikey and your own investigation.

All this time… you were the mouse and Mikey was the cat.

----------------------

[Mikey’s POV]

Mikey’s staring off in the ocean breeze in Manila, feeling the cold water splash his feet, and taking in the smell of the salty sea. His mind wanders, remembering you and chuckling softly.

He immediately noticed you through the window of that cafe. He usually comes on the third Thursday of the month but didn't come in at his usual time when he saw you sitting near his normal spot. Mikey could tell you were a detective from a single glance but there is something about you that draws him to you.

Was it your eyes that kept looking at the door to see if he came in? Was it your pouty lips that kept getting disappointed? Or perhaps it was your focus expression when you were looking at your phone?

He easily found Akito, your general informant, and cornered them. Mikey was the one who informed them that he will be at Roppongi Square Lounge. He also knew you would be following him to the back of the building and even slowed down for you to catch up when you two were running in the crowd. Let’s be honest, he can definitely outrun you but… this would be the last he will ever see you again. He wanted to give you the false sense of hope and to kiss you before it’s too late.

It’s been a week since he’s been in Manila. Tomorrow is January 20th, the day he is planning to meet his long time friend, Takemitchy Hanagaki, and end everything.

“It’s been nice knowing you… [Y/n].” He softly smiles towards the ocean and wishes you well.

2022 © littleoanh — do not repost or translate my work on this platform or any other platform. likes, reblogs, and kind comments are welcome. must be 18+ to interact.

Want to join my taglist? Click Here

135 notes · View notes

yoichichi · 3 years

Text

Their Favorite Place to Kiss You

warning(s): none

a/n: I just feel like they needed something sweet damnit :( i love them that’s all - my inbox is always open :)

characters: mikasa, armin, levi, hange, eren, connie, sasha, jean, zeke, & reiner

Mikasa

Your eyelids

Mikasa has always been on the more soft spoken side when it comes to intimacy, sometimes she finds it’s even hard to reach out and hold your hand. She often opts for brushing her knuckles against yours and just hopes you get the gist. But when you’re asleep it’s different. She gets to reach out and run her fingertips delicately across your face and it gives her the perfect opportunity to lean in and press feather light kisses to your closed eyes, and she always hopes her love is strong enough that her affection communicates into your dreams. Please give this shy angel all the love :,(((

Armin

Your cheek

It’s just the purest way for him to show you he’s listening and cares really :(! You’ll be on a date and he’s holding your hand and he’ll just lean on over and place a little smooch there while he’s got this little smile going on, before he tells you to continue with your story, “I’m listening sweetie.” It was also the way he hyped himself up to be more physical with you as the relationship progressed. Baby boy was a little nervous for your first kiss so he worked himself up to it by acting all sly and leaving the gentlest of gentlest kisses on your soft skin. He also loves kissing any birth marks or freckles you may have on your face, they just draw his attention so much and he finds them so cute he has to leave some sort of appreciation for them. And now, kissing your cheek/face has just become his favorite place to leave hellos and goodbyes. It’s even better when he can feel your cheeks get plump from the way you smile when he leaves a kiss.

Levi

Your hands

He has a nasty habit of overworking himself and pushing his body to the limits physically. Staying up late and depriving himself of sleep, hunching over a desk and straining his eyes from all the reading and work, getting frequent headaches from how strong his focus has been - usually meaning he’s forgotten to drink enough water that day. It all takes toll in his tired eyes and the sore muscles in his body, the ones most tense in his upper back. The only good that comes from this is how easy it makes it to strip him away from work if need be. Just running your hands up his back to knead at the muscle between his shoulders and neck has him sighing and closing his eyes, reaching a hand up to grab onto one of yours and place thankful kisses along your knuckles. Now you’ve successfully convinced him to lay in bed while you softly run your hands over his face and body, only stopping when he grabs them to place more kisses. He hopes it’s good enough at showing you how grateful he is for you in his life <3

Hange

Your forehead

They call you their little stroke of genius always and this just kind of seals the deal for them teehee. Whenever they get any kind of idea - good, bad, small, big, dangerous, you name it - they’re placing a kiss on your forehead and hollering before they run off to execute said idea. You have an idea and they’re praising you on how smart you are while they kiss you repeatedly there, kind of like they’re your older, invasive relative or something. It’s also their favorite way to greet you whether it’s them coming home or waking you up first thing in the morning. It’s just always the perfect blank space for them to lay their love on you and get your attention. And if you have a big forehead they’ll mention how it gives them more space to love up on hehehehehe <3

Eren

Your neck

Cuddly boy, cuddly boy! He loves bothering you and trying to get your attention, and he finds it’s the easiest when he has his face buried in your neck and leaving wet kisses there. He also finds it’s such a versatile place for affection. If he’s feeling clingy, he can come up from behind and wrap his arms around you while he whines into the crook of your neck demanding you pay attention to him by kissing or blowing raspberries there until you’re giggling and giving in. When he’s sleepy and cuddling he can stretch his face up to whisper into your neck about heading to bed and finalizing his wish with a soft peck - barely even a kiss. If he’s in a mood it’s certainly an easy place to convince you to join him. And if he’s just feeling soft - which is almost always - he has no problem in smiling into that spot between your neck and shoulder and giving little love bites or any form of attention there. He’s just a clingy boy and it’s the easiest way to get what he wants - and hide how red his face can get from you.

Connie

The top of your head

It’s a funny thing he’s started doing in passing moments that’s just made his days so much brighter. You two will be bustling about in the kitchen cooking dinner and when you pass by him he just has to grab the sides of your face and reach over to kiss the top of your head with an obnoxious mwah to top it off. Or if he’s dropping you off he obviously has to reach over the middle console to pull your head aggressively towards him to leave another silly kiss - he likes it even more when you act “annoyed” with him over it. But it isn’t always silly, he finds it a really good way to let you know he hasn’t forgotten about how sweet you are to him. You’ll be laying in his chest while you two watch a movie and he’ll lean down to leave a long and quiet kiss into your hair, reminding you of his fondness.

Sasha

Your lips

It’s such a simple but sweet place to kiss! Nothing makes her happier than leaning in and giving a quick peck before she’s off to her busy day, her nose usually bumping into yours cause she’s being a little too quick about it, but it never fails to make you all giddy when you feel her smile against your lips. It’s also her favorite time to kiss you after you’ve had something sweet. First she just wiped the corner of your mouth with her thumb to collect the sticky syrup that collected there from your breakfast a few minutes prior, sucking the sweetness from the finger and humming to herself. Next it was replaced with a simple kiss to the corner of your mouth or wherever you had yet to clean up a crumb - sometimes her tongue would innocently dart out to get a better taste. Finally it became just a regular sweet kiss, even happier than before, when she could still taste the honey in your mouth from the biscuits you’d made for lunch.

Jean

Your shoulders

He adores running his hands up and down your arms and it just goes so well with leaving a few light kisses at the top of your shoulders. He also feels like it’s such an intimate part of the body in that for him to place a kiss there means he’s physically close to you in a way he treasures immensely. Like when he embraces you in a long, warm hug for whatever reason, getting to bend down and leave a long sensual kiss placed there feels so serious to him, even if you’re ticklish and it has you giggling. There’s just something so serene for him when he’s able to feel that calm and close with you that he always finds himself compelled to lean over and even crane his neck to remind you how special you are to him with a shoulder kiss. What can I say, he just loves em!

Zeke

Your thighs

It seems like he’s ALWAYS passed out with his head in your lap. He says it’s not his fault but yours because you’re the one who always lets him rest his head there when he’s home from work, running your fingers through his hair. How is he supposed to stay awake when you’re doing that? And don’t get him started on how you run your thumb over his brow bone and down the bridge of his nose before going back up and starting again. It’s like you want him to take a nap on your thighs! Which you kinda do cause it’s the only time you get to see this mf relaxed and quiet in your presence if he’s not reading or doing some other nerd shit. He always makes sure to press sweet kisses to the tops of them when he wakes up, along with chuckling and tickling you with his scruff. He also likes to give you massages when you’re laying in bed which always somehow leads to him rubbing your calf’s while he closes his eyes and gently kisses the soft skin on your inner thighs. He’s just a sucker for em and you can’t tell me otherwise!

Reiner

Your back

Oh this guy :( He’s a chronic big spoon, no matter your size. It’s just always so soothing for you to be in his arms with his hands resting at your tummy, sometimes absentmindedly kneading the soft skin there as he falls asleep. But he never stays that way, he ends up naturally scooting down throughout the night so when he wakes up his face is nuzzled into the middle of your back with his arms wrapped even tighter around your midsection. You can always tell when he wakes up by the soft flutter of his eyelashes against your skin and the tightening squeeze on your torso, followed by soft open mouth kisses up your spine and all over your shoulder blades. Of course the way he whispers, “hi”, into your ear once he’s reached the top let’s you know, too.

this made me so unbelievably soft omfg. I just felt like we needed some soft content and I’ve been missing them :((( if you guys like this and would want it I can make a pt.2 with some characters I didnt include in this one :)! Jus lemme know if it’s something you guys would want! Anyways I hope you enjoy, I love talking to you in my inbox, and if you’d like to be on a taglist jus lemme know and I’ll happily oblige :)

requests are open

-🐇out

taglist: @plutowrites @armins-futon @peachysimp @sofi-yeager

2K notes · View notes