platypusisnotonfire

[platypusisnotonfire]

[platypusisnotonfire]

[platypusisnotonfire]

i appreciate that i saw both of these on my dash within about five posts of each other. we’re gonna need both moods going forward, tbh.

[platypusisnotonfire]

[platypusisnotonfire]

my dog came and got me while I was getting ready for work this morning, and she was signaling that it was Very Urgent. I followed her downstairs thinking something was wrong with my senior dog or my partner but the minute my foot hit the bottom step my partner loudly asked "Did she come get you, too?"

"She did, what's wrong?"

"She wants you to look at the frog."

"...The frog?"

"Yeah. The frog."

"There's a frog?"

"on the window, yeah"

so she was standing in the corner staring at me VERY expectantly and somewhat impatiently, so I walked over and she immediately turned her attention back to the window and sure enough. very high up. and very small. there was a frog.

keep in mind that bigfoot himself could be in the yard outside and this dog Would Not Care. but god forbid a frog catches a vibe on the window I guess. anyway. glad my dog deemed this worthy of my attention

[platypusisnotonfire]

one time i took a picture of a tiger at the zoo and the tiger smiled for the picture it was very great and the best picture i’ve ever taken

[platypusisnotonfire]

Personally I think “do trans men experience male privilege?” is a complex question with various conclusions that depends on a lot of factors (Passing! Class! Age! Country! Race!), but if your example of trans men experiencing male privilege is “they can pass for cis women” you have completely lost the plot so hard it’s in space. It’s in the asteroid belt. What the goddamn hell are you talking about

[platypusisnotonfire]

I cannot stand the parodies of modern major general, they're overdone and simply not as good as the original. They've done them about everything, whatever topic, big or small.

And when i notice one of them my eyes will always start to roll.

The diction's always slurry when they rush the complicated words, and adding many fricatives will turn it so cacophonous. The slanted rhymes are silly and they keep just making more and more, please someone stop the parodies of modern major general.

The scanning of the lyrics in the meter is unbearable, they emphazise the syllables in ways that are untenable, in short in matters musical, prosodic and ephemeral, i cannot stand the parodies of modern major general!

[platypusisnotonfire]

my biggest issue with twilight is why didn’t it take place in community college. Early high school grad Edward could take so many more courses at his local cc than the same stupid high school chem class. Bella transfer from Arizona goes to English 101. no one asks questions why you cc homie misses 2 weeks in a row because it’s sunny, everyone is just Doing That.

[platypusisnotonfire]

shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

[platypusisnotonfire]

[platypusisnotonfire]

all these gay girls are like "wow i want a big lady to step on me" but where is the love for short girls stepping on you? short girl intimidating you with her presence and body language alone until you fall over and she steps on you?? short girl taking down a girl who's much taller than her and making her submit??? where's the love for my shadow of the colossus bitches???

[platypusisnotonfire]

I think teens need to be able to go to trusted adults and say “I saw something in a porn video that freaked me out and now I’m worried I’ll have to do it too” and then the adult can say “it’s ok to be nervous about sex, but remember that you don’t have to do ANYTHING you don’t want to do, ever, no exceptions” and this should be an ongoing conversation to remind young people that sexual desire isn’t monolithic and they are not uniquely weird, cowardly, or undesirable for expressing their feelings, and they deserve sexual partners who prioritize consent & autonomy always

[platypusisnotonfire]

Something that I get chills about is the fact that the oldest story told made by the oldest civilization opens with "In those days, in those distant days, in those ancient nights."

This confirms that there is a civilization older than the Sumerians that we have yet to find

Some people get existential dread from this

Me? I think it's fucking awesome it shows just how much of this world we have yet to discover and that is just fascinating

[platypusisnotonfire]

OMG HOLY SHIT I am cat sitting at a house 45 mins away from home and I am hearing a sound almost exactly like this but a different pattern and my skin is absolutely crawling

I cannot express enough how much this noise is sleeper-cell triggering some lizard brain prey-instinct

You could not pay me any amount of money to go outside rn while I am hearing THIS NOISE which sounds like a coyote trying to mimic an owl outside

And this is the only audio I managed to capture at some points there were like 5-10 of these same voices overlapping

[platypusisnotonfire]

[platypusisnotonfire]

Why is it?? That I can go through the whole day feeling fine and dandy but the second I lay down for bed impending doom settles on me?