#oh look i psychoanalysed

[edge-oftheworld]

i'm absolutely one to advocate for not assuming capability/it being an affordable psychological cost for celebrities, or anyone really, to do anything. and if you know me i'll hold back on saying 'this mentally ill neurodivergent person with a big following should speak about x' longer than most people. because i know activism and i know what brains and disability can be like and i know i'd rather have someone not push themselves to do what they're not capable of sustaining than be another one who ends up dead.

but the thing is, this is only part of it. it's not enough alone. accepting ourselves with our limitations and the fact that some of us are disabled in so many diverse ways doesn't mean things get fixed without anything being done. and that's where I think we need to ask, how can we accommodate to problem solve the reasons it's hard to do something good? and as fans obviously we can't fix the world but we do have power to put in place some of these things. surely if we learned nothing else from a band who thanks their fans at every opportunity it's that they wouldn't get anywhere without us listening to them. it's a parasocial relationship but a relationship nonetheless and with that comes power. to act in ways with meaningful consequences and may they be good. power of negotiation. to communicate and uplift. to accommodate where necessary.

so how could this look? the first thing i suggest might be counterintuitive but i challenge us to rethink our relationship with celebrity. to learn about life outside the western world and think about art and why we enjoy it together. what draws us to song. think about if we were a village and we came together to sing these songs. if we got to become a village, finding solace with those we go to our concerts with, but imagine the artist in question lives in said village. and we have to contend with the real them maybe not being exactly as their persona suggests and having things they're hurt by, and as a village we need to acknowledge those because they're here to heal. we love them; they know. let's act like that by listening to them. we admire them, but they'd rather us treat them like a normal person. so we do that. we put ourselves in their shoes

how, then, does this relate to activism? imagine we're in the village. as a village we want to make a stand, maybe to negotiate with the neighbouring village or some developer who wants to flatten our home and build a carpark there instead. we bring our points to the table. we acknowledge all of them. and some people's facts are plain wrong! yes that happens!! but then we talk about language. we've gotta unravel the propaganda rampant in today's society. someone thinks arguing for the liberation of one group of people oppresses another? we discuss ways in which we can have both. someone thinks talking about how one group suffers negates the way another group suffers? let's trace it back to a common cause of their suffering even if one is more than the other. one harmed another? acknowledge people do that because they are hurt too but it does mean it's also bad. then, there, we've talked about it. if anyone is unhappy, continue to voice your concerns. we have time for all of them.

and this especially applies to Village Celebrity we've mentioned before; they're gonna be the face of this campaign, in some ways that makes them a lot more vulnerable than the rest of us whose identities are somewhat in obscurity. people don't understand straight away and every threat to the status quo breeds insecurity; they might be in a greater danger. not just physically, but relationally, of losing loved ones before either has a chance to explain their perspective. so when something like this happens for someone you carry it with them. and they don't come perfect. maybe they're a bit cynical and more easily swayed by conspiracy theories than someone with a university education or a kinder childhood might be. maybe they're a bit too cautious about what people think and you don't understand why they get so anxious about it. maybe they're restless and want to do good but every avenue to get there seems stifling and their brain gets overwhelmed by all the bad in the world and it impacts their ability to think straight. maybe they have enough insecurities about themselves that the prospect of attempting to help fix anything bigger seems daunting and hopeless.

you still take them as they are. you think of your own skillset and what you can offer them if you have a perspective that can be grounding and helpful. that's how you sustain an activist.

and i know our current relationship with celebrities offers us no room to be able to do these things. they're stuck behind a metaphorical glass wall often for their own safety. but also, deliberately by those who want to uphold the status quo. we're gonna have to work harder and care for each other better to break through it in order for activism to be accessible to more. because i think we've seen enough examples of good people who get driven to selfishness by the very fact that they're traumatised by seas of people they don't know and forget how to be fearless in the face of potential harm to their name if it's permeated in and gotten bad before. that is an injustice against them that we don't know how to look after them. that they didn't have the right support system. and support systems challenge the status quo.

don't get me wrong there's a time and place for calling out lacking or bad activism. and a lot of the time they've done the work, they know how to take it. but we also have this assumed level of ableism born out of desperation for something to happen. and anyone who's ever come across the challenge of a household of people for whom it prevents every member from doing enough chores to get by knows that simply fighting harder doesn't work. we need radical acceptance too and from there we can problem solve. because there's always a solution we haven't thought of yet.

[ahalliance]

every now and again i think about when the code finally (/)killed qétoiles and he had a one day depression arc in which it really felt like he’d finally fucking cracked for real . and then he fought the code again and won and was immediately back on his insane but normal levels of bullshit like nothing had ever happened

[mythvoiced]

-. last post of today: NIMONA, NIMONA, NIMONA, OH I FUCKING CRIED, I love--

[wheres-your-paddle]

look i know Episode 3 was obviously for psychoanalysing kinger and zooble but can we just........ talk about how obviously distressed caine is, even before his glitch?

like, talking extra fast and laughing just ever-so-slightly less genuinely when he jokes "i'm not the boss— oh wait, yes i am!"

when bubble starts speaking backwards, caine doesn't respond to him with his usual lower-energy confusion (like he did with "why are you like this?" and "bubble... you can't say that"). this time, caine responds with a more aggressive "WHAT" and just... a little too fast. like he's forcing the 'cheerful jolly ringleader' persona a little too much?

and are we not going to talk about the parallels between Episode 2 and his panicked little "zooble wait! i-i'm testing out a new a.i. in this one!" and Episode 3's "where's zooble? i-i made this adventure just for them!"

[gaoau]

i've been thinking a lot about Suo and i need it to stop, so i wanna analyse him a little bit and say things into the void. normally i like to psychoanalyse characters in fics but i've seen that side of the fandom and i do NOT wanna go there, so i'm saving myself by pulling the same thing i did with Nanao ig.

disclaimer: this isn't necessarily a theory about his backstory as much as it is what i personally wanna see happen. see, if i were writing him, i'd do very specific things that could go in various directions, but since i am not, unfortunately, writing him and he's not my character to fuck with, all i can do is yap. which, also, probably won't be very eloquent.

manga spoilers for literally the whole manga up to date btw.

i don't think we won't be getting a backstory on him, to be honest. with a character like him, yeah, the mystery is part of the charm, and having this much anticipation can suck ass if once the secret gets revealed, it doesn't stick the landing. but i doubt Nii Satoru doesn't have something planned for him. why would bro be leaving Suo's room illustration out of the fanbook if there wasn't something there to talk about? what is in his room to talk about? but that's not what this is about.

anyway i'm gonna be so fr Suo's built like a dog. he's clearly full of shit, and yknow, that's fine, good for him, but there are things that are so painfully obvious he's just straight up lying about. after his fight with Kanuma, which is deadass the first time we see him fight, he says he "doesn't usually get so emotional," which ?? shut the fuck up? that's not true.

i know a liar when i see one. we've seen him fight five times? six if i wanna be generous; in three of those he got crazy emotional (Kanuma, keel, and Endo), and just a tiny bit miffed with the gymnast guy idr his name fuck that freak. which, listen, to be fair, if someone touched a single hair on Nirei's head in front of me, real me too i'd kill a guy. but look me in the eye lil bro don't lie to me. real talk, though, he was more than ready to kill the keel dude, and was going to. he wanted to. he was shaking while Sakura held him back, don't play with me. he wasn't gonna stop just cause someone was interjecting.

bro was itching to kill, side-eyeing Sakura, spitting snark cause how's the hot-headed mf who jumps head-first into a brawl without a second thought staying more rational than him, the rational one? Sakura's talking to him the same way i talk to my dog after she tries to kill my cat. i'm ngl my dog has better self-restraint than this kid. he also just straight up xd's his way out of it? like "oh whoopsies! mb gang! i was just feeling silly goofy! 🤪" like he forgets he's not supposed to glare at people with murder in his eyes.

speaking of murder! this is where i want him to have killed someone before Bofurin. he's, like, 15? so there's not much time to work with, but the same way Kaji was going feral at idk 8 years old, i can see a world in which Suo actually went overboard when he was a younger kid. (i'm not saying this is what things are pointing at, but i want this to be the case. i would do this myself.)

he is emotional, i don't think that's up for debate. i understand why he gets so emotional and i do think it's very noble and cool and swag of him, that's a good person, somewhat, he cares about his friends and it pisses him off when they get hurt. i fuck with that. that's great, get him an ice cream (if he even eats fucking weirdo). but why are we acting like "i am chill ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ" when, clearly, that's not true?

here's where his teacher comes in. for how much grief i'm giving him, i don't think he's all lies at all. i don't think him liking Nirei and Sakura enough to not only speak highly of them, but also fuck a guy up for them, is a lie. i think he is as kind as Umemiya describes him to be, cause honestly, if Umemiya says someone is kind, then they probably are.

i don't think this is necessarily fake as much as i think it's borrowed. it's learned behaviour. it's teachings passed down to him by his teacher. it's discipline. it's not something that comes naturally to him, but it is something a person he respects and looks up to taught him, so he tries to live by it. he's very clearly been disciplined, probably got beaten into the ground by his teacher, got his ass handed to him again and again and again until he sharpened his reflexes and learned how to control himself in a fight.

he talks a lot about adulthood, talks a lot about maturing, talks a lot about self-control and whatnot. which, by the way, this is a child? lil bro you're fifteen go play on your switch idk. but i'd like to think this comes from someone telling him, "hey, what you did was not okay. you have a lot of strength and you're not an animal. use it wisely so you can one day grow into a proper adult." solely cause i want him to have killed someone. that's all i want.

i think it would make sense, really. how funny would it be if he was living similarly to Sakura? i've seen people headcanon him as a rich kid, but he lies a lot, and i wouldn't put it past him to be living in a sad, lonely one-room apartment. there's a billion ways things could be done with him. maybe his parents didn't care to try disciplining him, maybe he grew up with no parents at all. he has a short fuse, that's easy to tell, even if he acts like he's got everything under control. it's a very Suzuri type of situation, so maybe it's not the direction Nii Satoru is gonna take things, but one can dream.

as for the eyepatch, i haven't really thought much about it. the way i see things, he's gotta come from a neglectful background, so losing an eye would make sense. or maybe he did it himself, i'd love to see that (i would do that with a character like this if he was mine). if his eye is even missing at all, cause all things considered, it might be sort of just a way to give himself a handicap to remind himself not to go overboard.

which, circling back to the self-restraint thing, i like to think that's the reason he doesn't really use much excessive force. not to say he doesn't kick and punch, cause lil bro packs a mean punch, but he doesn't gravitate to hitting people. he's usually using his opponent's weight and momentum against them, which is why i was decently surprised when i saw him grab the keel dude and wind back to bash his face in. he's not violent, until he lets go of what little self-restraint he has, and then he is. it's values and principles that come from someone else telling him how to behave, except he still struggles to hold himself back.

to put it in simple terms, if he were my character, this is what i would do. i'd have him kill someone by going overboard as a kid, have him be taken in by this teacher, have him disciplined and clean his act up by beating his ass, and then have him parrot all these teachings at people he meets later. cause that's essentially what he's doing, he's just repeating things someone else told him. what does bro know about being an adult he doesn't even pay taxes go do your trig homework. but he tries, and you can tell he's trying, even if it doesn't come natural, he cares about his friends and he cares about becoming a better person, he's just a little too quick to snap.

you know what i mean? he cares about Nirei in particular, he loves Nirei, he tries to learn from Nirei. (guys i love Nirei i wont shut the fuck up). but fr, he's got that Nanao complex where he instigates things or sets things into motion and doesn't quite participate. he watches from the back, for better or for worse, but he doesn't necessarily involve himself in things. he keeps a distance. he feels like the other side to Sakura's coin sometimes, learning about people and how warm they actually are. he's all prim and proper and nonchalant, but he recognises he's no match for Sakura and maybe even Nirei. after all, it's always Nirei the one grabbing both of them by the arm and dragging them places.

he talks so big and maturely about not meddling too much with people who can't quite handle friendship yet, and then goes "!" when Nirei tells him "? fuck are you talking about? that's the more reason to teach Sakura about friendship." it's the look on his face after Nirei, despite Suo's long-winded and logical argument, goes to Kotoha and insists they help Sakura anyway. he's learning from Nirei too. also Nirei's crazy endearing so real me too but that's beside the point.

i don't think these parts of him are fake, but they might just be artificial. he's still integrating them into his own person and making them his, but he still slips here and there. he's not quite there yet. i hope he killed someone when he was 8yo. that's all thank you for reading thumbsup

[tarjapearce]

How can you describe miguel mentally and emotionally ?

Oh man... This is a tough one. I'll start by saying that, even though we saw a glimpse of his mindset on ATSV, we still have sooo much to learn and know about him. (We just had it for 15 mins. jsksk)

I did this thing a while ago, focusing mostly on his grieving that addressed the rest just superficially.

I won't say I know him better than anyone cause

1. No. Characters evolve and I feel it'd be disrespectful af to just reduce him to a couple of traits or claim that I know him better than I know my nipple jsksk.

2. He's a complex character that is so well written that makes us all go psychoanalysing his behavior 🤭. (And love me a man that puts me to think)

But jokes aside.

He's emotionally unavailable. Simple as that. And though it might sound obvious to some, (And our savior complex kicks in and tell us to fix him 👀 yeah, I'm talking to us jsksk) there's no way we can do that, cause that's up to him ~. (And you can't help someone that doesn't wants to be helped.)

Healing takes time. And guess who overworks himself to the point of having his cortisol running 24/7 through his body? Miguel. He doesn't have time for therapy. His fear of watching it all go to hell once more is a too fresh wound. Some traumas last decades, and naturally people find ways around it without interacting with it directly to avoid reliving such impairment.

(I do appreciate the fact that in the new comic book, we see him trying to make amends with Conchata though. He's trying!!! :D.)

2. He's a patient man. I mean, he recruited after all versions of Spiderman that have this trait in common: They're perceived as friendly. And they're mostly young adults and teens. (Both are a handful btw. And most stories and comics Peter Parker is depicted as a 18-23 year old)

But they like pushing his buttons, (cracking a joke every 5 minutes, doing whatever they want even when specific orders were given) however. He doesn't strike me as someone that is mean on purpose, he's just wary but not totally closed off towards people. Wich is kinda contradictory on its own since:

You don't go around trusting people first hand upon just knowing them, right? 👀. But at the same time he showed Miles his own canon event, trying to empathise with him before dropping the bomb. (He was mentally preparing him, something he wasn't able to get but to experience the worst way)

A hypocrite truly. And not in the bad bad way (He calls a nerd the NWH Peter yet he is one) , cynic to an extent (Since he keeps repeating he's been the only one trying to keep it all together, meaning he still doesn't fully trusts the people around him.) A showoff (Did you see the way he turns towards Gwen when he first appears? Or the way he says "I was gonna do that") , arrogant to also an extent. ("It's much more cooler than a watch").

He took the job as a leader cause he knew none else was gonna, and if there was another one willing to assume the role, I'm sure he'd be dissatisfied with it's development cause our man likes to feel safe in when he's in control. (A trait often met in people with generalized anxiety)

And when he's not, his brain immediately goes into threat mode, but even so is able to adapt. (I have a theory he learned this the bad way. We've still got to see the origins of his Rapture intake though 🤔)

Now, we know this man is emotionally unavailable, through and through. His love is work. And married to it.

Now, I might get a bit controversial after this and some might not like it, but I don't think he wants another family after that. (We don't know much about this Miguel's background or family except that he was looking for things, and he found Gabi's universe. And for you to look into another universe in need to be happy says enough to imagine his family or is non existent or is really messed up.)

I know we want him to be happy, (And the producers better give him some healing and closure or else.) Cause he deserves everything. But grieving doesn't work like that. A loss like that is unmeasurable, it changes literally your brain chemistry forever. The least appropriate thing you'd do is have another kid or someone after such event.

(I've seen what that is an it's not nice. Specially for the involved kid)

But we're all ill here so Thank goodness fanfics exist ❤️

He allowed himself to be selfish enough to be happy, had his fun but consequences caught up to him. Consequences that he didn't know and now has him perpetuating his guilt and mind berating.

Hence the workaholic attitude, the coldness. He's done with establishing something with people in general, not just someone special. He's done of getting trampled by life, so he sticks with something he knows he can do very well and pours into it. The Multiverse is his hyperfixation.

Keeps him busy, keeps him on control but curiously and contradictory again, it keeps him needed and useful.

He's a walking contradiction. He doesn't need people to watch over him, not cause he doesn't deserves it. He knows that people worry about him, that's why he just minds his own thing to not be a burden.

Self-Sufficient, over achiever (Alchemax CEO & Spiderman, a genius, bilingual, probably more languages on his list cause he leads a multicultural and multidimensional task force babes ~)

He's not bad, he just doesn't know how to direct his anger or allows himself to feel properly and often rationalises his feelings. (Another coping mechanism where you're tired of feeling stuff and justify difficult or negative with logical thoughts)

But again, curiously knows how to communicate. I know it's fucked to say when he threw a trash bin to Miles before that. But! Hear me out.

Retaking the previous point, he was preparing Miles to give him the talk. After he throws the trash bin, he knows that anger won't solve things (Even though he wanted to give some chancla spanks to Miles for being an anomaly) So he chills, and you can see the transition between being completely furious to a more emotional approach. (Parenting surge there.)

He starts explaining everything from scratch, (literally with drawings and stuff) so Miles wouldn't be lost on what he was on about. Then they moved to the canon events, and shows his major trauma to him as a sign of empathy and an invitation to honest talk.

He admits he doesn't like what he does, and if you look closer his face is so damn distressed when locking Miles in the trap. It pains him, but again, someone has to do it, yet none is scarred enough to bear the burden.

I just want to hug him and send him to therapy. Cause he needs it. (Pretty sure he gave up on that too cause it was too time consuming.)

I'd be satisfied if the writers gave him that ❤️. But yeah. That's one of my many takes on him. Hope it helps c:

[fancyfeathers]

@zainiscompletelydone333 asked a question

i think my fav dynamic for Sherlock + William's darling is with psych darling. Her deductions or startegies may not be the best Infront of the two, but her moment shines when she is insulting psychoanalysing them and actually being accurate.

Oh she could tell the moment when they are obsessed with her, she had watched William’s behavior from afar during her final year at university and had the opportunity to work with Sherlock when she joined Scotland Yard and she can see the shift in behavior from when she first met them to now as subtle as it is, and with Sherlock and William especially it is practically undetectable to most. Then after she finds out the clock starts ticking because as soon as one of them picks up that she knows it is all over.

I imagine that she has to put in her best facade while she works on getting work abroad which should not be to difficult given all of her recommendations and the fact that she would have graduated as the valedictorian from her university. She only tells the inspector she works for when she gets the new job, a criminal psychologist in a top private detective agency in Paris.

She gets so close, she had one last day on the force and sure she gets dragged along on a trip to York with Sherlock, Watson, and her boss, Inspector Lestrade, after Sherlock is a bit antsy after the Study in Scarlet/Jefferson Hope case. Everything goes alright on her end until she finds William and his brother on the train ride back to London and of course Sherlock already knows him, as if things could not get any worse…

Well they can.

The murder happens on the train and Sherlock and William solve it, with little help from her and Lestrade, the actual police, and the culprit gets caught and arrested. Then as they are about to go their separate ways Lestrade pats her on the back and has to say…

“Well this is certainly an interesting last day on the force for you, Doctor.”

The silence that follows that statement is absolutely screaming.

She just stands there, completely frozen, as William and Sherlock look at her and the inspector. William is the first to ask about what he meant and of course Lestrade has no problem giving an explanation, it is her last day because she is moving away to Paris. She excuses herself from the conversation to return home so she can hopefully have her things packed and she can be on a boat to France before the morning.

Then right as she is finishing packing the last of her things she hears footsteps from behind her and she turns around to see William, and she has no idea how on earth he had gotten into her flat. He walks right in and hands her a file, a case study that she had done on the Lord of Crime for Scotland Yard.

“You are quite intelligent, but you just are not quick enough. I am sorry to say that you lost this game or ours, my dear.”

The next morning a missing person’s report gets filed in Scotland Yard by one of her neighbors, the door to her flat was wide open, all of her suitcases and belongings still there but she was no where in sight, and her case study on the Lord of Crime lay on the ground. There is no trace of her that Scotland Yard can find, but just like in the Study in Scarlet there is something Sherlock needs to see.

Sherlock gets called to the scene and when he arrives the first thing her gets handed is the case study that was found on the ground and as he flicks through the pages he finds an odd page which was clearly not added by his darling, and all it has is a few words penned in neat handwriting that are all too familiar to Sherlock…

Catch me if you can, Mr. Holmes

[matthias-the-tulip]

my updated list of parts i hope they keep in the red, white & royal blue movie

(updated after i reread it in a day) (a lot of these are just funny lines that add absolutely nothing to the plot but they make me laugh)

• the MAGAZINE 😭

• “he has the personality of a cabbage.”

• “i want to hear you gush like he's your fucking prom date.”

• alex makes a long loud fart noise


• “i'm going to throw up on you” at the stables (doesn't look like they're at a stables in the trailer 😒)

• “i'd rather be waterboarded” also at the stables (again, doesn't look like they're at a stables)

• “i bet he has a secret lovechild,” nora says. “or he's gay. or he has a secret gay lovechild.”

“it's probably in case i see his equerry putting his batteries back in,” alex says.

• midnight ice cream on instagram

• “i didn't know you wore glasses.” (henry's wearing a suit not pyjamas and alex is not wearing glasses what's that all about!)

• awkward fist bump on “this morning” (does not look like it’s a chat show in the trailer but also would a royal even go on this morning)

• star wars stan henry 🥹

• “not impressed, just surprised.”

“at what?”

“that you actually have, you know, feelings.”

• henry is beginning to smile…

• “do you MIND?” in the cupboard at the hospital

• “you're not the prince of me” 😭

• “i'd rather not be the little spoon.”

• henry's feet in a mop bucket

• “locked in a cupboard with your elbow inside my rib cage.”

• “i cannot believe even mortal peril will not prevent you from being the way you are.”

• “are you psychoanalysing me? i don't think royal guests are allowed to do that.”

• “is that the time you threatened to push me into the thames?”

• “no booty calls.”

• “it was like you were trying to set him on fire with your mind.”

• june's (nora now i guess 😟) plot to murder woody allen

• “don't let the papers print lies about me after i've garroted myself with my tie.”

• “you are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life.”

• “yes, famously the most sinister of all animal sounds, the gobble.”

• “cornbread knows my sins.”

• the whole turkey situation really

• “buy a summer home in majorca with the turkey”

• MR WOBBLES

• “jabba” cakes.

• henry watching bake off

• “you're jeff goldblum”

• “yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe”.

“I BEG YOU TO NOT”

• “it sounds like you did your best.” 🥹

• the new year’s party being referred to as “the legendary balls-out bananas white house trio new year's eve party” (white house duo now 😭)

• “please do not attempt to steal my shine. you will fail and i will be embarrassed for you.”

• “says prince fucking charming.”

• get low playing at the new year’s eve party

• alex’s reaction to get low playing at the new year’s eve party

• “christ, you are as thick as it gets.”

• alex falling while running with june (nora now i guess 😟) cause he was thinking about henry

• “he's gay and you're hot, so.”

• “still waters, deep dicking.”

• “prince henry is a biscuit,” nora says,
“let him sop you up.”

• they know each other's sleep schedule and alex gets in a bad mood when he doesn't talk to him 🥹

• “you're not going to kill him, are you?” she says.
“probably not,” alex tells her

• “shut up, shut all the way up, oh my
god”

• alex pushing henry up against a wall!

• “i mean, er, should we, i dunno, slow down?”henry says, cringing so hard at himself that one eye closes. “go for dinner first, or-“

• hooking one knee around the back of alex's thigh 😉

• ”i'm going to die,” henry says helplessly.

“i'm going to kill you,” alex tells him.

“yes, you are,” henry agrees.

• alex fixing his hair for him 😢😢😢

• henry singing god save the queen (king i guess) to make his 🍆 go away

• “i am going to do very bad things to you, and if you fucking ghost me again, i’m going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. got it?”

• “you were jealous,” alex says. “you want me.”

• henry calling alex bossy 😂

• alex literally just insulting henry while he’s going to town on him

• “do you ever stop talking?” henry says. “such a mouth on you.”

• “hi,” he says, when he reaches henry’s eye level.

“hello,” henry says back.

“i’m gonna take your pants off now,” alex tells him.

“yes, good, carry on.”

• fucking eyelashes

• when he's done, he presses a sticky kiss in the crease of alex's leg where he'd slung it over his shoulder

• the mattress shifts, and henry moves up to the pillows, nuzzling his face into the hollow of alex's throat. alex makes a vague noise of approval, and his arms fumble around henry's waist, but he's helpless to do much else.

• the tip of henry’s nose catching on alex’s

• “for fuck’s sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me goodnight.”

• monocles for babies 😂

• “i don’t like that look,” amy says. “you look…sweaty.”

• “what in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell?”

• the whole polo kit situation. henry slowly putting his boot back on the floor

• “i’ve thrown men in the dungeons for less.”

“hey, don’t threaten me with a good time.”

• paris!!! leaving directions to the cheese

• “you're a mad, spiteful, unmitigated demon, and I'm going to kiss you until you forget how to talk.”

• birthday floggings et al and the buttercream!

• alex’s heart going weird at henry on the boat and having to put his head in his hands

• “i don't give a damn what joanne has to say, remus john lupin is gay as the day is long, and i won't hear a word against it.”

• “i will staple your dick to the inside of your leg”

• “i did get both of the gay kings.”

• “deflowering the darling of the republic.”

• “i'm not ... historically great at talking about things,” henry says.

“well, i wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart.”

“wasn't?"

“hey,” alex huffs. “are you trying to say i'm still not good at them?”

“no, no, i wouldn't dream of it,” henry says, and alex can hear the small smile in his voice. “it was just the first one that was.. well. it was enthusiastic, at least.”

“i don't remember you complaining…”

“yes, well, i'd only been fantasizing about it for ages.”

• baby. (!!!)

• “i miss you,” alex says before he can stop himself. he instantly regrets it, but henry says, “i miss you too.”

• “i want to ... put my fingers in his mouth...” she moans, sounding horrified.

• just the whole karaoke bar situation. plz. toilet stall hookup!

• “bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry.”

• o captain, my captain

• “if only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when american boys with chin dimples are mean to him.”

• the fruity truth: my favourite english author is jane austen.

• “when at wimbledon”

• “i want to see a cage match between your grandmother (grandfather i guess) and this fucking ghoul running against my mom”

• “and you are good. most things are awful most of the time, but you're good.”

• “he is truly a picture, wearing an expression of bewildered panic and absolutely nothing else.”

• “jesus tits”

• henry falling out of the wardrobe and just. sitting on the floor. (zahra finds him in the wardrobe instead :()

• “i thought you were getting into international relations or something.”

“i mean, technically-“

• “you're literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state, who is a man, at the biggest political event before the election, in a hotel full of reporters, in a city full of cameras, in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this, like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams, and you're asking me not to tell the president about it?”

• all of zahra's quips tbh - “every time i see you, it takes another year off my life.” - “ask me if i'm afraid of the crown.”

• SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION WITH
FOREIGN MONARCHS: A GRAY AREA.

• EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?

• FEDERAL FUNDING, TRAVEL EXPENSES, BOOTY CALLS, AND YOU

• history, huh? bet we could make some. (the emails plz like i need at least some of them read aloud over a montage or something)

• “some saucy tart once tried to impugn my virtue against an oil painting of him, and in the halls of memory, some things demand context.”

• I GUESS THAT MAKES YOU. THE MF. NORTH STAR.

• “i thought you might need to, like, have a catholic moment about this or something?” 😭

• “santa maria is watching!”

• skinny dipping!!!

• “philip is the heir and i'm the spare, and if that nervy bastard has a heart attack at thirty-five and i've got malaria, whither the spare?”

• alex's meltdown outside kensington. very important. - “how 'bout i just keep yelling and we see which of the papers show up first!” he turns back to the window and starts flailing his arms too. “henry! your royal fucking highness!”

• “jesus, could you stop being an obtuse fucking asshole for, like, twenty seconds?”

• “i fucking love you, okay?” alex half yells, finally, irreversibly.

• “what do you want?”

“i want you-”

“then fucking have me.”

“-but i don’t want this.”

• “a whole lifetime of fine. that’s not good enough for me.”

• henry nuzzling his nose behind alex's ear.

• alex laughs and grabs his head and aggressively kisses his cheek, smashing his face into the pillow.

• “next time we shall visit some of the george Ill pieces and see if they burst into flame.”

• DANCING TO YOUR SONG IN THE MUSEUM

• “i completely fucking love you” and the ring and the chain

• “once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier”

• henry’s email about memories and grief and the first time he saw alex

• “jesus, be a gay beard”

• henry and alex in the car after the fake date

• “i will physically fight your grandmother (grandfather i guess) myself if i have to, okay? and, like, she's (he’s) old. i know i can take her (him).”

“i wouldn't be so cocky,” henry says with a small laugh. “she's (he’s)full of dark surprises.”

• “your spine's a ridge i'd die climbing”

• “check the fucking news, you horny little miscreant”

• “it’s about to be gay DEFCON five in this administration.”

• “then fuck it.”

• the big group hug

• oscar saying “give ‘em hell.”

• “you're my mean friend.”

• “jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing”

• I 😭 LOVE 😭 HIM 😭 ON 😭PURPOSE 😭 they can't leave that out if they do i'll kill someone

• “what are we even defending here, philip? what kind of legacy? what kind of family, that says, we'll take the murder, we'll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, we'll scrub it up nice and neat in a museum, but oh no, you're a bloody poof? that's beyond our sense of decorum! i've bloody well had it. i've sat about long enough letting you and gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and i'm finished. i don't care. you can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, philip. i'm done.”

• “for what it's worth,” he says to philip, “that is the bravest son of a bitch i’ve ever met.”

• “we banged it out last night” + high five

• “i've been gay as a maypole since the day i came out of mum, philip.”

• all the support for them 🥹

• bea pouring the tea on philip's lap

• “you know, i think all that cocaine i did must’ve really done a job on my reflexes!”

• henry pulls alex close and kisses him, whispers, "i love you i love you i love you."

• never 😭 tell 😭 me 😭 the 😭 odds 😭

• “my life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person”

• “you are the absolute worst idea i’ve ever had”

• “listen, you've had your first big sex scandal. no more sitting at the kids' table.”

• how to love each other in plain sight

• “holding henry’s hand atop his own knee” in the portrait

• “all this fundraising for sobriety is going to drive me to drink”

• “i'm the prince of...here” 😭

• “you spent a month of your gap year talking to yaks in mongolia, h.”

• “i know it's a lot, but you give people hope. so, get back out there and be alex.”

• the super six 😭 (fantastic five now i guess)

• the picture of them on the cover of the magazine

• henry fixing june's hair 🥹 (NORA NOW I GUESS 😟)

[stestir]

Amethio is emotionally neglected.

An analysis from a neglected person standpoint.

Wo hoo another post about the little shit, yaay.

Anywho, this time its not me being super angry and ranting, instead I will psychoanalyse the boy and give out him diagnosis.

Analysis post under the line

So, I believe that Amethio is heavily emotionally neglected by Gibeon. I'll explain in a bit how he shows it.

So I'll begin with his beef with Friede. Yes, I will talk about it again like I didn't already do that several times, Shh.

Here I want to start from, well, start of their conflicts. Episode 2, first conversation. Amethio says that Friede is... Wait, lemme see... khe khe, "Oh, Friede? I heard of you being a great trainer." That means he sees Friede as someone who has experience and who's respectable. That will be important later.

So, first battle, the air ship, all that. Friede sends out a Pikachu, and Amethio is immediately annoyed. I think the main reason is that he wants to have a true validation of his skills, hence why he reacted that way. Seeing Friede, someone he thinks is a professional, send out a Pikachu, a pokemon often seen weak, looks like a mokery to him.

It also goes further and weaves itself into all their incounters - the want to be acknowledged and taken seriously. With each episode, it escalates and escalates, showing out Amethios' bad traits along the line - impatience, easy irration, and often distraction from the main mission.

The tension finally snaps at episode 25, where in their 6th encounter, they finally finish the battle, and Friede takes the win. And where Friede says, "I have to take you seriously." This hurts Amethio so much that in the next arc, he starts to train to become more powerful. He even appears in an opening, training himself to an exhaustion.

All of this highlights really heavily that Amethio always tried to find a validation of his battle skills [ and by excention, him in general ] in these fights, hence why he always was irrated by Friede not paying full attention - "Look at me!", "Don't be distracted!". All of this points to me that he doesn't receive it oftenthsys why he jumps into the opportunity to have this attention.

And this is the first sign of emotional neglect! The attention seeking behavior.

It's clear that Gibeon does not give him enough attention, as he's trying his best to give everything to him and only disobeys the orders to catch Rayquaza / Terapagos for Gibeon. All of Amethios' actions are for him, which indicates to me that he's trying to get at least a lick of affection from him [ aka a validation that he did a good job ].

And it's also seen in Hambers' actions towards the boy! Unlike Diana, who's parallel he is, he's cold towards Amethio and practically emotionless, only doing what he needs to do. He also doesn't even use his name, only honorifics "Master."

All of this translates to his behavior, too, and shows another sign:

The masking of emotions & anger issues.

These two go hand in hand in Amethio, as he tries his very best to hide any case of emotion. But this mask is also really weak and fragile, as it shatters under any pressure, as it showcased in his fights with Friede.

Even in episode 2, the beginning, he already showed how his mask is easily slipping with irritation [ his eye twitching when Friede sends out Pikachu ]. He always tries to be cold, just like Hamber and Gibeon, but because he also desperately needs aknowledgement, it does not work. He becomes impulsive and starts to go more by emotions than reason, as it is evidenced by him always prioritizing a fight rather than going by the misson, episode 6 being an exception ( And even then he still doing this cause Friede didnt pay him enough attention 💀).

He tries to mimick his parential figures by being emotionless but ultimately heavily fails at it because he does not have an outlet for his emotion, nor affection to actually release all the tension in his mind, hence why the mask is so fragile and he is easily irrated.

From that its goes into another problem:

Closing off from any support from other adults.

And in this part comes in his relationship with Zir and Conia, and how he doesn't let himself be weak in front of them.

Throughout the whole anime, it can be seen how much both of them are worried for the boy. Hell, its even got into one of the promotional material, where they even when cut by a comic barrier, still look at Amethio, concerned. But Amethio does not let them know about his mental state, as evidenced by Zirs "Its so hard to talk to him lately."

It seems that Amethio never let his guard down, resulting in him being tense all the time. Even when Zir and Conia genuinely care for him, he rejects all of this affection, still trying to chase the one from Gibeon. It makes me believe that Amethio idolizes Gibeon and thinks of him as the only trustful source of care.

Which of course makes everything worse for him in turn, as Gibeon does not give him anything and just makes him work, which makes him become more and more tense.

It even starts to project into his battle style, as he gone from calculated actions to a desperate attempts to do something [ which is also a sign of being neglected, yahoo ]

Anywho, ending this, I'll say - Amethio is a brilliantly written character, I love love love the writing team behind the Horizons. The way he's obviously abused is so clearly seen that it almost pains me as someone who has also been neglected in childhood.

And also, dont take this post way too seriously - it's written without any serious research whatsoever, and mostly is me speaking from experience and observations.

I hope you had a nice read!

...

[Me: Amethio is a 3-dimensional character with a lot of thought behind him. Also me: He-he, he's literally this meme:]

[valerileygreen]

@inception30daychallenge Day 17: How did the team spend the rest of the week on the first dream level?

2 days, 11 hours, 45 minutes.

That’s how long they’ve been here, and they still had almost 5 days before waking up.

Arthur was sure he’d go insane first. He hated sitting idly at the best of times, but here, with anxiety about Cobb and Saito’s fates and crippling guilt gnawing at him and nothing to distract him, it was a particular flavour of hell.

He let out a weary sigh and tightened his grip on the rail overlooking the city. He was alone. Eames still had a duty to look after Fisher and no one was talking to Yusuf right now. Ariadne had stayed with him for a while at first, relating what happened on the third level and Limbo and just keeping each other company, but when she decided to go back to their designated warehouse to rest he didn’t follow, needing to keep on the lookout for projections. 

It was admittedly a flimsy excuse, the projections had calmed down now that Fisher was, presumably, at peace with everything, and there were remarkably few of them in the area of the city the team had claimed for themselves at a distance from where Fisher was staying. But he had already fucked up far too much for one job, he wasn’t going to take any more risks.

He tensed as he heard approaching footsteps, but then he recognised who it was.

‘Eames. Shouldn’t you be with Fisher?’

‘But babysitting is so boring, darling. I reckoned your company would be more pleasant.’ Eames answered cheekily.

‘Piss off, Eames.’ Arthur turned away from him. ‘I’m not in the mood for your games.’

‘Mm, it appears I miscalculated the pleasantness of the occasion.’

Arthur snorted. ‘Seriously Eames, why are you here? In case you haven’t noticed we’re still in the middle of a job and you left the mark alone. Do you realize how irresponsible it is?’

‘Relax, Arthur. Fisher’s fine, I may also hazard that the inception worked. But he actually did ask for some time for himself, so…’ He shrugged. ‘I’ll just go check on him tomorrow.’ 

Eames leaned on the rail beside Arthur. ‘I’m more interested in seeing how you're holding up, honestly.’

Arthur rolled his eyes. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Ariadne doesn’t think so. And forgive me, Arthur, but looking at you,’ he gave Arthur a once-over with no trace of his usual leer. ‘I’m more inclined to believe her than you.’

Arthur scowled. ‘Ariadne can well mind her own damn business. And you as well.’ It came out less angry and more brittle than Arthur would have liked, and he looked away.

Eames gently bumped his shoulder to Arthur’s. ‘Come on, pet. Don’t be like that. You can’t blame her for being worried.’

‘I wish she didn’t. There’s no need.’

‘Debatable. And in any case it doesn’t work like that, I’m afraid. She’s a good sort. Did you know she’s already dragged Yusuf out of his shame corner? And probably lectured, psychoanalysed and then forgiven him, by the look of things. Next we know, she’s going to rope him into playing cards or chess or something equally ridiculous.’

Arthur huffed out a poor approximation of a laugh. ‘Has she, now? I bet she even told him what’s the best way to grovel and apologize to us.’ He shook his head. ‘She’s too smart for her own good. And too good for our kind of world.’

Eames chuckled. ‘She’ll rule dreamshare one day, let me tell you. She’s even better than Cobb.’ And like that the mood sank again.

‘So is that what got you all doom and gloom, now?’ Eames asked after a minute with a sigh, far more softly than before, and Arthur felt a surge of rage.

‘Oh, for God’s sake, Eames! Of course it is! How can you be so unaffected?’ He snapped irritably. ‘Cobb and Saito are gone and lost in Limbo, and we’re still trapped here for days and not truly safe till we wake up and out of the plane, and we don’t know if and how they’ll be able to wake up at all, and if they don’t who knows what the hell expects all of us once we land, and it’s all my fucking fault!’ His voice kept rising and becoming more frantic as he got more and more worked up. ‘It’s my fault for being unable to do something so fucking simple as checking if he was militarized, and now all our fucking lives are hanging by thread! And for what? For nothing, no one!’

‘Enough!’ Eames grasped at his shoulder and shook it a little, the contact and firm order both so unexpected that stopped Arthur in his tracks. Then lower, gentler. ‘Enough, darling. Please. You can’t do this to yourself. You can’t take the blame for every single thing that went wrong. Not everything is neatly recorded, and even if it was, you had more than enough on your plate and no matter how hard you try you’re not a robot. Unexpected shit happens all the time. It’s not your fault.’

Eames started rubbing his thumb on the soft skin of his neck soothingly, and Arthur didn’t deserve it but he was weak, he was so fraught and exhausted that he couldn’t bring himself to shake his hand off, greedy for Eames’ warmth. ‘But it is. We wouldn’t be in this situation if we had known about the militarization.’ He said brokenly.

‘Or if we had known about the sedative.’ Eames grumbled. 

And yeah, okay, Eames had a point, that betrayal still stung. But still, it wouldn’t have been such a problem if he had done his own goddamn job. ‘But-’

Eames interrupted him right away with a squeeze of his shoulder, his gaze so intense Arthur felt himself unravelling under it. ‘But nothing, Arthur. You fucked up, okay, that’s true. But the mess we’re in isn’t just your fault. That knowledge wouldn’t have protected us fully anyway. Maybe Saito would have still been shot, or maybe you in an attempt to protect us, and then we would have been in even more trouble. We will never know. As we don’t yet know if Cobb and Saito are actually lost forever or not. But there’s no use despairing now, so let’s try to stay optimist instead, yeah?’

‘Eames…’ Arthur choked around the lump in his throat, and his vision turned blurry.

Eames suddenly wrapped his arms tightly around him. ‘Oh, Arthur, please, stop torturing yourself for it. You did the best you could. And even if it wasn’t enough, even if Cobb and Saito won’t wake up, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Together. But Cobb already came back from Limbo once. So, and I can’t believe I’m really saying this about that bastard, have faith in him.’

It was just too much, the last shreds of his facade crumbled and Arthur buried his head in Eames’ neck and cried all his frustration and exhaustion and grief, while Eames merely held him close and whispered sweet reassurances.

When his tears subsided he didn’t move, a bit embarrassed by his outburst, but Eames didn’t comment, merely asked if he felt better.

‘Not really. But maybe-’ Arthur let out a shuddering breath and finally lifted his head to look at Eames. He was smiling, sad and impossibly fond, and Arthur’s heart squeezed. ‘Maybe you’re right. If there’s someone who can come out of Limbo it’s Cobb, so we have reason to hope. I’ll try not to worry about it so much.’

Eames’ smile brightened. ‘That’s the spirit, love. And lucky for you, I know the perfect distraction from life’s troubles. How about we go teach Ariadne and Yusuf proper poker? We’ll make him lose all the extra money he’s unduly earned as punishment.’

Arthur let Eames drag him away in companionable silence.

It didn’t last long.

‘So.’ Eames started. ‘What happened in your level? It was only a fraction of a second so I can’t be sure, but I’d bet what I saw wasn’t the ceiling of the room.’

And so Arthur told him about how he fought projections in zero gravity and improvised the kick by exploding the elevator.

Eames’ eyes widened more and more, and when the story was finished he stopped them. ‘Why are you being so bloody modest? That’s genius. Never let anyone tell you you have no imagination. You saved us, Arthur!’

‘That’s you, I believe.’ But a small smile was playing on his lips.

‘Well, sometimes I’m an idiot.’ And he kissed Arthur soundly, and Arthur couldn't help kissing back, it had been so long. 

They pulled apart at the same moment and rested their foreheads against each other. ‘Darling, what are you doing after this?’

Arthur’s heart was pounding, but he was still the pointman and ensuring everyone's safety had to be his top priority. ‘Assuming everything goes right, we’ll need to separate, just like we planned.’

‘Can’t we just leave together? Just the two of us.’ Eames pleaded.

‘No. It’s too risky,’ Arthur reasoned, sounding regretful. ‘And I’m long due for a visit home.’

‘Oh. Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. But after that we will talk, right? About… this.’ He gestured helplessly between them, and his eyes were so huge and hopeful, mirroring the same longing Arthur felt, and Arthur couldn't resist.

‘Yeah.’ Arthur promised, entwining their fingers. ‘We’ll talk later.’

It was still raining, but Arthur felt lighter, a ray of hope in the shape of Eames had finally pierced through the thick clouds in his mind. Things were still a mess and very uncertain, and there was nothing to be done now till they woke up, but no matter what the future held, he wouldn’t have to go through it alone. He smiled.

[echthr0s]

I am pretty sure I've never actually met a high-affective-empathy person -- everyone I know who has claimed this has turned out to be high-anxiety, and since popular understanding of empathy is... lacking, this always goes unexamined >_> -- but I thought about it and I think I could imagine what an actual high-empathy person would be like. and the answer is... spooky.

they'd be spooky. if this was the olden days, people would call them a witch. hell, people might still do it. they'd seem to have an uncanny intuition. their party trick would be to look at you, take a sip of their drink, take a deep breath, and then tell you something about yourself that would immediately piss you the fuck off and you'd never speak to them again. because they're wrong! they tried to psychoanalyse you like a fucking Crane brother and they were so blatantly wrong! ...a few years and 100 therapy sessions later, you think back and you're like "oh my god. how the fuck did they know."

my blueprint for what an actual high-empathy person is like: Heather Havrilesky ("Ask Polly"). I've been reading her for years and she has told stories like the above -- stories of alienating people with her weirdly invasive commentary, which she offered freely and with great enthusiasm, not always realising how hidden or suppressed the stuff she was revealing actually was. people generally Do Not Like having their inner worlds put on display like that, especially at large-scale social functions, and they found it suspicious and manipulative besides. to Heather, this was just her way of connection-seeking, of saying, "I see you!" fortunately, she figured out how to use this power for good -- she writes an advice column. and she always seems to get to what the Letter Writer is actually saying, which I always thought was... well, spooky.

I also think that most high-empathy people probably aren't announcing it. they've either suppressed it entirely out of social pressure to be less weird and invasive and creepy, or they are grappling with like 5 mental illnesses (due to either people's mistreatment or just the constant overstimulation). I wonder what the combination of high affective and low cognitive empathy is like; I can only imagine the inverse, because that's me, and frankly I think that's the best combination of these traits~ ;)

[ihavenosoul12]

i need to desperately psychoanalyse all the characters from the quarry and understand their werewolf transformations on a better level but oh my god i don't even know where to start

nick's one is the most interesting bc all the werewolves are angry but they have something else going on that picks apart their character but all we get with nick is anger bc i don't think it was entirely directed at abi i think it was just wrong time really wrong place. when it came down to it on a instinctive, animal level, she was the most important person to him in the room so i don't think his insecurities lie there

but i don't think it's like jacob, i don't think nick worries about being left behind or abandoned (not as much as to have some sort of complex like jacob) and i don't think he's putting on as much of a mask/performance as emma is. it's both something different and something in the middle

like i'm sure if i just rambled on abt the other characters transformations i could land on an understandable narrative for them that makes sense for the character, but nick just seems... endless. like there's nowhere for me to land.

you can't define him. i think the characters try to do that to some extent. maybe that's what i'm supposed to land on and work out as nick's main insecurity. he has the line abt following jacob, is it bc he doesn't know who he is? and unlike emma, does he feel the need to latch onto people (jacob, abi) to have that definition?

in that case, the werewolf transformation gives him definition, he's a monster, he's becoming something, and it may be horrific but perhaps... perhaps it's less complex than he is, or is supposed to be

but i don't know how i feel abt this reading of him, feels like a cop-out. like if i struggle to understand a character, it feels lazy for me to just say that that's the point when really maybe i'm just not looking hard enough

hm

[ponypickle]

I just got an ask that I deleted because it told me to stop psychoanalysing characters and just enjoy them as grey characters.

like I'm sorry that I don't shut off my brain and just watch tv, I've been 'psychoanalysing' characters since I started watching tv shows then in your opinion. I've always had thought processes behind characters actions, I've always looked at them critically, it doesn't mean I don't enjoy them. it's the way I enjoy them in fact

I've thought this way about klaus mikaelson, kai parker, peter hale, cersei lannister, tywin lannister, ivar the boneless, the master, homelander and many, many other characters.

if I shut off my brain and just 'enjoyed them as grey characters' or villains for those that are overtly so, I wouldn't get the ability to dive into their brains, to understand what makes them tick, to know why they did something different from what I would do, I feel a need to dive in when they do something and express my understanding of their character, to see if someone else thinks the same as I have or if my interpretation is different.

if I just sat there and watched I wouldn't be a fan of the show, I wouldn't be enjoying my characters because I would just be wasting my time, just because YOU take everything at face value and agree with the given interpretation doesn't mean everyone does. just because you can sit there mindlessly watching a show and not find anything insightful to say about a character doesn't mean everyone does.

I CAN LOVE MY GREY CHARACTERS AS GREY CHARACTER BUT STILL GIVE THEM MORE THOUGHT THAN 'OH THEY DID THAT BECUASE THEY DID THAT', they did that because the writers told them to

no, daemon is a complex character, he can (as I stated in his post) want his brother and wife to trust him and then feel disappointed when they don't, be a good man towards them but also arrange a murder of a young boy (actually in the books but by 'mistake' 🙄 in the show) because in HIS thought process that is what he thinks is needed, that doesn't make him good (and I NEVER said he was a good person, all I said is that he NEVER wanted the throne, only trust and no matter how many times they say he wanted the iron throne after rhaenyra got it and how he still wants it, I will not believe it, not from the scenes in the show, not from the book). I just don't see him as evil and that doesn't make him less grey as this anonymous asker obviously assumed, he is still VERY grey but I cannot just sit around not giving my interpretation across when it is just sitting here in my brain waiting to be heard (and maybe agreed with sometimes)

[isleofair]

i might be a little late but for the t&b ask game: 6 & 1 :D !!

Waaahhh, it's never too late for a T&B ask, thank you so much!!! 😍

6. Top three favourite episodes of season 1 (and why if you want)

Oooh. One of them is definitely episode 17. I love the slow, quiet look into Kotetsu and his life choices, and the scene where he rescues Kaede is just super cool and super sweet and super beautiful. 💚

Then there's episode 15, which has a cool battle, sneakily introduces the "dragon" to the final villain of the season while seeming like a one-off episode, and most of all, obviously, shows us all the softer (in every sense of the world) sides of Keith. 🥺

And then I'm going to cheat a little here and say episodes 6&7 together, since they're kiiind of a two-parter. They're the closest thing we have in S1 to a Nathan spotlight episode, sure, but they are also the ones where things get real, introducing Lunatic and most of all revealing Barnaby's full backstory and trauma. And the scene in episode 7 where Bunny chases Lunatic across the bridge to Stern Medaille has some of the coolest visuals of the entire season, and I love it to pieces. 💓

1. Who is your favourite character and why

Oh gosh. I've already gushed about Nathan in the "top 3 characters" question here, but fear not, I will never run out of reasons to love her, so here's a few more.

(Look at her, isn't she gorgeous? 💖)

Nathan may initially look like a superficial, brash character, with a temper to boot, but is actually very sensitive and extremely kind, with a sweet side that's a mile wide.

Nathan is a very successful person, especially as a business owner, so you'd think they'd be driven by ambition, but when asked what their dreams for the future are, she answers that yes, she'd like to increase company profits... to help disadvantaged children even more, and that she wants to make a family with a lover. 🥺

Nathan helped me fully embrace my love of the color pink, which I used to hate as a kid, because I despised everything that was too typically "girly" (we'll psychoanalyse me another day). Now pink things give me complete joy, to the point that I have my hair dyed the same color as hers.

And speaking of the color pink... the whole thing with the rose petals in The Rising. Just... every single thing about it, its meaning, the way it was handled, the utter beauty of that scene and everything it says about her.

I'll think about it forever. 🩷

(The Tiger & Bunny ask game!)

[bentosandbox]

better late than never amirite

i think i haven't posted july (cause I thought global would have released TBC by now...) or october (commission) on here/twitter hopefully i remember to sometime this year

bonus chen edition because well i guess she is my cringefail girlboss blorbo

bonus chenswire edition

bonus bonus extremely boring stuff

films i watched in 2022 (tragedy of macbeth out of picture because it was on the next row)

top 10 (in watched order not a 1-10 ranking)

Marketa Lazarova (1967) Friend was streaming it, liked the script so much I asked my friend for the srt file after Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) Rocks Petite Maman (2021) Personal Attack Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000) :) My Life as a Zucchini (2016) Celine Sciamma truly don't miss Saturday Fiction (2019) It's not a 5/5 movie but...the soul... the period noir... Nope (2022) The Spectacle dot jpg Hands Over The City (1963) yes i watched this just before il siracusano Decision To Leave (2022) yuriyaoi straight romance can't elaborate Puss In Boots (2022) i'm so glad i didn't watch this as a kid i would have nightmares, but as an adult i got to see my traumas on the big screen yippee!!!

missed a local screening of My Broken Mariko because it only happened for ONE DAY fucking insane (I recommend reading the original manga it's so good)

Speaking of books hmm

Swordspoint yuriyaoi... Invisible Ink reread. and I think I need to reread again Fire & Blood read it after watching hotd ep 1 pretty good series btw dare i say even ...the best on-screen yaoiyuri of the year... Eagle Shooting/Condor Heroes Book 1 Not bad Water Margin Didn't I write a angry rant on this. rite of passage i guess...... How to Keep House While Drowning its funny because i WILL do chores......still good though What My Bones Know - insane how trauma can be so isolating yet universal lol A Wizard of Earthsea if only i read this instead of harry potter back then lmao wow

you can now basically psychoanalyse my issues from the last three books I think

Uhhhhhhh what else am I missing - oh yeah I did 3 gamejams this year (Art/Design and a liiiiiitle bit of trying to do the UI in Unity myself instead of giving the pngs to my friends)

my abysmal steam stats told me i only played 5 games this year so I need to get back my gamer license, backlog is like 75% VNs though what's up with that (there's only 4 games but. well)

had a really long blogpost (basically a 'look at all the things you did this year you didnt waste it' thing thus the above lists) but i think i'll just keep it to my notion notes lest this post becomes a traumadumping ground ecks dee tl;dr failed a Very Important (to me) Thing early 2022 that kind of shattered any crumb of self-esteem i had and made me question everything i did onwards (especially in regards to doujin stuff) and then basically physical health issues affecting mental health and vice versa which is fun but fuck it we ball.....(try)

don't really have any solid 'resolutions' (that i would remember to do) other than to 'live' more than just 'survive' as edgy as that sounds 🥴oh wait oc zine yea yea and go into illustration full time h-haha........... should really get around to making a patreon/fanbox but i really hate the idea of paywalling

also signed up for a AK doujin event in Nagoya in March so I now have a very heavy motivation to finish the second half of my LGD doujin and hopefully I get to table at AX too dot dot dot

[carpenoctxrn]

Doctor. Doctor. (Spencer Reid x FemReader)

Chapter 1: The Invitation

Warning: Very horny reader. Slow burn. Alcohol Shot.

P.S I have Stranger things smut on my Wattpad @noctxrn

~ Y/N P.O.V ~

“Y/N! WAIT UP!” Said my friend Dr. Douglas, a.k.a Lisa Douglas.

Her light blue scrubs were crumbled matching the state that mine was in. At 2:29 in the morning I was finally getting out of work.

“Hey Lisa, what’s up?” I said as I stopped walking and stood behind the trunk of the car. I opened my car trunk using my key and began taking off the top of my scrub to wear the hoodie I had in there. The feeling of scrubs whilst I drove made me feel irritated, so comfortable thermal hoodies were the way to go for me.

“So, Luke wants to do dinner-” she paused as she waited for me to pull the hoodie over my head, “- with his work friends.” She finished as I was pulling my hair out of my hoodie.

“WHAT?” I whispered yelled at her as my eyes became wide and I raised my hand to pull down the trunk of the car.

“Is it getting serious?” I asked as my back leaned on the trunk of the car and I bent down on the ground to pick up my purse at the foot of my leg.

“Maybe? Kinda-” she said confused as she tried to figure out the answer she felt was right.

“Awwww…it's adorable that he wants you to meet his friends,” I said “..in a way in law enforcement the people that they work with become family, sooooo I guess maybe scout out a brother-in-law for me.” I said teasing her.

“You are not helping,” groaned Lisa as she put her hands on top of her face.

“My intention was not to help,” I said as I took my hair out of the professional pony-tail it was in and let it fall down on my back in a weird shape.

“You’re heartless demeanour makes me wonder if you’re a cardiologist so you could feel other’s heartbeat,” Lisa exasperated as she eyed me with a glint of annoyance in her eyes but also pride with her retort.

“Didn’t you say Luke was a profiler? As in he catches serial killers by psychoanalysing them and creating patterns from that?” I asked rhetorically. 

“Yes,” she said and I began to grin, “He is not rubbing off on me,” she whined as my mouth resembled that of a Cheshire cat.

“Whatever you say, Dr. Douglas.” I whispered.

“Anyways, I wanted you to come with me. Sort of like moral support.” Lisa asked as she had a pleading puppy face.

“Wouldn’t that be weird?” I asked a very obvious question. A stranger at a party with other strangers would just make everything strange.

“No, not really. You know Phil right?” she asked and I nodded yes in response. “Well I asked him to make you his date for my sake and he said yes.” 

“Oh,” I said now feeling weird that Phil is okay with the idea of taking me on a date, “He doesn’t like me like that, right?” I questioned as I felt the back of neck hair standing due to anxiety.

“No he doesn't. He just considers you a good friend and he understood my predicament and decided to be a generous friend,” she said to calm the obvious nerves that had accumulated in my stomach.

“Okay,” I sighed out. “Is there a dress code?” I asked.

“It's a cocktail party at Agent Rossi’s house, so formal cocktail but not too much. They are celebrating bringing down a cult for context,” she said as she began fishing for something in her bag. 

“Here,” she said as she handed me a piece of paper that had words written in a hast. “It’s the date, time and address of the huge mansion where this event is being held.” 

“So should I be subtly looking for a sugar daddy?” I asked Lisa with a grin on my face as this felt amusing to me. 

“No no, Rossi has a more mature taste,” she said in a matter fact voice, “although if you play your cards right you could possibly steal a dance from him.” 

“So.. sexy yet modest black dress matched with diamonds,” I thought out loud.

“Yes, very classical and convenient for when you inevitably decide to go to the club and get shitfaced drunk.” Summed up Lisa at my obvious plan. 

“Well, I guess I will see you in a day’s time,” I said as I approached Lisa in a hug and patted her back whilst saying “ so forget I exist for the next 18 hours,” with a smile on my face.

“Bye Y/N. See you tomorrow,” waved Lisa as she began walking towards the car that was parked a few feet in the front.

Getting into the driver’s seat of my burgundy 2015 dodge hellcat, I started the engine and felt my body begin to tingle. I was excited to sleep after being awake for 22 hours due to the strenuous nature of my work. My work was a good twenty minutes away from the apartment I lived in. 

Deciding to call my father who lived in Sacramento, California, I knew he was just returning home from out of state. I called his cell once, twice, and a third time but I still didn’t get an answer. Unfortunately I rolled my eyes as I knew what was happening. His wife was probably around which meant that he couldn’t talk to me. 

Pulling out of the car parking lot I saw that Lisa’s car had already left. For some reason the excitement of falling asleep was filled with despair of being alone. All by myself. I could have called my mother but a brutal fight when I was 18 had severed our relationship. We hardly talked, she hardly acknowledged my existence and I did the same to her. 

Taking a deep breath I felt the familiar gurgles of my stomach, signalling that it was hungry. Whenever I got sad or real about my life, I got severely hungry. It was my comfort and it was my coping mechanism. 

Pizza!

Stuffed Crust Pizza!

Calzones!

Cheese and BREAD!

The only thoughts that were running in my sad and hungry head. Deciding to look up a 24-hour pizza joint I asked Siri to do just that. But only a pub that was open till 5am was my only option. Deciding on a BBQ chicken flatbread and garlic knots along with their mozzarella + 5 cheese stuffed calzones with chicken and pineapple. The person taking my order said that it would take them 20 minutes and I was already 10 minutes into my drive. 

Not wanting to wait in my car for 10 minutes I decided to stop by a McDonalds to grab some ice-cream, one large coke with no ice, and a hot chocolate with caramel. Looking at the time on the screen of the car's dashboard, it read 2:59am which meant that I had another 6-7 minutes give or take. 

Still feeling too tired to just sit in my car I decided to throw my hair in a bun that just so happened to be messy. Touching up on my lip with a lip-balm and my cheeks with some blush, I stepped out of my car. Making sure to grab my phone and my car keys.

Walking inside the pub I saw that some people were playing pool, darts, or watching a rerun of some football game. The bartender was a middle-aged blonde woman with tattoo’s. The nametag read that she is the manager and her name is Boyce.

“What can I get for you hun?” She said as she was counting the money a man had just given her.

“I’ll take a scotch” I said “neat, please” I added as I sat down on the bar stool. 

“You’re not going to operate heavy machinery right?” She said as she cocked eyebrow up, whilst pouring me the whiskey in a clean glass. 

“Not for more than 5 minutes,” I said with the kindest voice and an innocent look gracing my tired face. 

“Oh, you live close to here?” She said amused, as she passed me my drink.

“Yea it’s a 15 minute walk here from my apartments,” I said as I threw my head back and downed the burning and horrid liquid. 

“Oh fuck” I said my face contorting in distaste as I slammed the glass back down.

“I forgot this wasn’t tequila,” I said my face still contorted from the shock and taste of the malt substance.

“You’re a funny thing, aren’t you?” She said as she stopped her work to take a moment to appreciate my foolishness. 

“Only when I’ve had five hours sleep and it was close to 26 hours ago” I said as I slowly coughed, not wanting to seem like a bigger tool. 

“I have an order, it might be ready by now,” I said as I stared at the empty glass. Pondering at the idea of food and sleep.

“Sure, flatbread, calzones, and garlic knots?” She asked as she read something from the screen in front of her.

“Yes that’s it, plus the shot of scotch” I reminded Boyce. 

“Yea a shot was right,” She said as she began ringing me up.

“$68.98 will be your total, sweetie” she said as she turned around to pick up my food to hand it to me. I handed her an even $80 and said the rest was her tip. She chuckled and said the drink was getting to me and I just smiled and whispered a bye as I headed out.

I felt a small hue of pink forming on my cheeks. A sign for how much impact social interactions have on my introverted, tired, and fairly one-shot of scotch self. My knees and thighs were warm against the bag of food. 

In a few seconds I was inside the car, the roar of the engine coming back to life once again. I put the food on the passenger seat beside me and began pulling out of the parking lot to head towards the direction of my apartment that was two traffic lights and one left turn away.

As I was driving towards the gated apartment that I resided in I saw the clock that read 3:15am. Feeling even more tired at the realisation of the long hours that I had just pulled, I pressed the play icon on the cold screen of my very hot car. 

Cash Cash on my dick, I like Givenchy 

All those fake hoes told me no but now they chasin’ me 

Cash Cash on my dick, I like Givenchy

Got this shit on lock like penitentiary,

The dirty lyrics of Bow by Reyn Hartley filled the air inside my car. The subtle rumble from his voice that added bass to my speakers made the song come to life. Even though the lyrics were degrading women and boasting about men, I couldn’t help the way I felt about the song.

Actually that’s a lie. 

I love how in my head I personify myself as a woman who transcends into a men’s person so I can relate to this song. Be the purpose of this music. Be the reason for a feeling. 

As the song came to an end my apartment came into view. Going into my designated parking spot labelled 7. As I was about to get out of my car I decided to gather my things around the car to limit the amount of time I have to spend outside of my car gathering my needed belongings in the cold. 

Let’s see. 

One hand will carry the food and the hot chocolate. 

The other hand will carry soda and my purse and my keys. 

Perfect!

With that thought I began gathering the respective items to it’s the correct hand. I began opening my car doors to exit the frozen tundra my car had become in the three minutes it was parked.

The brisk walk to my apartment door was quiet. That’s what happens at 3:30am in the morning. 

Not a soul nor a body.

Just a mind fueled with thoughts conspired by the darkness of the sky and the light showered by the moon. 

In this moment nothing was perfect but everything was so serene it felt like a painting.

I was struggling a bit to open my door, but I quickly placed my drink and my food on the floor so I could open the door much more easily. 

With a sigh of relief I felt happier knowing my home was open and I quickly basked in the comfort of minimal clothing and delicious food. Grabbing my things from the floor I quickly walked inside my apartment. The familiar smell of vanilla and sex indulged my senses. 

Squirt does smell like sex

My thoughts pointed out to me. Living as a single female on the other side of the country had its challenges. Not having the comfort of a home cooked meal was one of the challenges. 

The other was love life. Although this depends on your own view. For some people finding people to hangout with is difficult. And it was the same for me until I came to a realisation.

I didn’t want friendship. I am nice, I help people out when they are in a difficult spot, and I am always polite to everyone. I have “friends”. 

Friends I didn’t want but had. 

What I wanted was skin igniting, drunk on eachother, hardcore sex. I did get hardcore sex from the men in Washington. I just didn’t get that feeling that comes with just needing to have them inside you. Being in the same room as them makes your cheeks turn red and your breath heavy, just as how you would’ve looked when you were cumming on their cock deep inside. 

Many of the men that I hook up in the bar tend to be muscular with tattoo and roughhousing type of men. The men who look like the description of a gangster erotica novel. 

Growing up I exposed myself to Nikita Gil’s poetry about bad boys. The morally grey character in a perfect world who will ruin the reality for your own sake. I assumed that maybe if the muscle and the tattoo fits, so will the sex.

But it didn't. The sex wasn’t bad, but they couldn’t make my body convulse like I could with my finger on my clit and a vibertor inside my hole.

Deciding to quickly change out of the clothes I am wearing, I headed into my room to grab my black and white chequered pyjama pants along with an oversized navy blue sweatshirt that I thrifted. It had a logo of the local police department's soccer group and I felt it would let any potential kidnappers/ killers/ muggers/ rapists get the idea I have a connection to the local police department. 

Turning on the T.V I played the current series I was watching, well more like rewatching. Supernatural.

In this series Castiel had joined the dynamic duo of brothers and was helping them on a case. Walking towards the kitchen that was conveniently in the same space as my living room, I began opening the food and bringing it out to my coffee table. Grabbing my drinks last I sat down on my couch and took a sip of the coke and bit out of the calzone.

It tasted so delicious. The taste of the shredded chicken mixed with the sweetness of the pineapple and the spiciness of the jalapeno was such a treat to my tastebuds. The cheesy texture added more of a chew to the bite. 

After eating half the calzone I took some bite of the BBQ flatbread and realised it tasted perfect but my stomach was after the calzone. So I decided to finish my soda, my calzone, and treat myself to some garlic knots and a delicious cup of hot caramel chocolate from McD’s. 

Looking at the sleek golden clock hanging on top of the T.V, it read 4:30am. The tiredness washed over my body. Deciding to just sleep on my couch I set an alarm for 2pm, and began to doze off to the sounds coming from my screen. I grabbed the chunky crochet blanket off the ledge of my couch and draped it over my sleeping body.

Chapter 2