#oh how i wish god took
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#i think god should've killed you long long ago#and i think the only reason you're still here is that my family has taken god's word at its most literal#and chosen to 'forgive' and believe you're worth the effort to transform; to save#if it weren't for them; i think you would've bent to the cosmic weight of give and Fucking take#oh how i wish god took#i wish he took you ten years ago; twenty#and i especially with he took you fifty years ago. fifty? i don't know the exact time#but you probably do#but if it hadn't been you; it would've been someone else. i have a sneaking suspicion that this cycle i discovered goes higher up than i#thought; might go up higher#the women in my family have a penchant for pedophles. apparently.#so you should thank your lucky stars that SOME. of this family is willing to forgive you#the second i convince him to change his mind#i know you'll crumble#delete
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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.
#cw gore#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#chip jrwi#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE#CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I#EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND#AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY#YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN#THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN#CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION#bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN#AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT#better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible#i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!
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Okay so I recently, finally, watched Wish and I have some thoughts. Overall, not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, but still has a lot of fundamental story problems and I've got to get them off of my chest. I'll mostly be focused on Magnifico because I think his motivations and arc largely represent the problem with the overall theme.
Okay so my biggest problem with Magnifico is his motivation. His tragic backstory. How on earth does he go from losing his whole family to thinking, the only way he can prevent that from happening again is to grant wishes? The logic doesn't track. It almost makes sense in his creating a kingdom where he protects everyone and "doesn't even charge rent," but it does not make sense with his wish granting. Having a great need to be control to make sure he doesn't lose anyone ever again can be a compelling motivation for a villain, where we see lines crossed that don't justify the intent, but in the movie, he's too self-absorbed to seem to have any actual care for the people of Rosas.
I think if the motivation was changed to something like Magnifico had once been a bright-eyed, enthusiastic wish granter who blindly believed all wishes were good but learned the hard way that that wasn't true could have been a better fit for the overall goal of the movie. Imagine that he granted a wish for a wicked person who used that wish to hurt others, or if Magnifico granted a wish but that wish ended up ruining the person's life because what they wanted wasn't what they needed (i.e. Remember The Princess and the Frog? Dig a little deeper) and that person could have went after Magnifico and blamed him for their troubles (harkening back to We Don't Talk about Bruno). This would be an understandable tragic backstory for Magnifico, and better explain why he's so careful about the wishes he grants. And, perhaps the reason he keeps the wishes he doesn't want to grant is to keep the people in his kingdom docile. No one will be angry with him for not granting their wishes if he makes them forget them and lose that drive and motivation, which makes more sense than the unexplained hording them like he does in the movie? Why does he keep them in the movie other than admiring the wishes? It doesn't make sense to me.
This would give Asha more of a reason to oppose him, if it's shown how his desire to not get hurt or to inadvertently cause hurt turned into a paranoia where he drains people of wishes to fly or play music that inspires others. And, as a side note, we need to see more of how Rosas is a kingdom of people who lack drive and motivation, where only those younger than 18 have that special part of them that inspires them to chase after a dream (something that Astor Rhymemaster touched on). Because that's the point of wishes, right? That's the point of the entire Disney canon. A dream is a wish your heart makes. That star can only get you so far, it takes hard work and determination. It's wanting something better in life, it's dreaming of leaving behind all you know to chase after a tangible light. It's finding a new dream, it's finding a new wish as you grow and learn about yourself and the world.
I don't think the movie Wish understood what makes wishes so important in Disney stories. You know what wishes do? They ignite change. It's not about getting what you want, it's about finding the courage to chase after something better. Ariel wants to be where the people are, but really she wants to be somewhere where others are willing to understand her and in the end, she finds that and makes amends with her father, who finally is willing to see her for who she is. Rapunzel wants to see the lights, and that desire pushes her to leave a tower she's been trapped in her whole life, learning that the world is not as cruel and cold as her abusive mother told her. Cinderella wants to go to the ball, to dance with people who treat her as a person and not a servant of cinders and ash. That wish is granted by a fairy godmother and gives her a hope that is worth fighting for, a hope that helps her reclaim what is rightfully hers; a glass slipper that fits only her and the love that comes with it.
Wishes inspire change. The movie should have been about that. Magnifico could have been right, that some wishes inspire negative change that can drag down multiple people. The kingdom of Rosas could have been so placid because change is scary. Maybe Magnifico could have convinced people, after taking their wish, that it wasn't worth it. Maybe the wish ceremonies could have changed so it wasn't portrayed as some sort of lottery everyone looks forward to, but Magnifico would grant wishes on the spot if he decided they were good and worthwhile, and he would lock away the wishes that would cause trouble and tribulations. 18 year olds could be enthusiastic to give him their wishes, thinking they were surely good and worth granting, only to forget their wish and be told that their wish would have only brought about their unhappiness, this would have justified a more solemn tone in the kingdom, setting up a world where people are mostly downtrodden, thinking their wishes are bad and pointless and they're better off without them. Imagine Cinderella or Rapunzel being told their wishes weren't good, reinforcing all the things their abusive families tell them, taking away that hope and courage to find something better for themselves.
Here's where the true conflict could come in. Asha could be onto this from the beginning, and her opening song could have been about this concern that the people who didn't get their wishes granted aren't willing to try at all. (Because, after all, why doesn't Sabino play music at all? Having that taken from him would take so much joy and creative expression from his life!) But why does Asha know something is amiss?
Simon.
Imagine that Magnifico has a strict rule not to ever share your wish with another person because then it wouldn't come true. It makes sense with our own superstitions, and then makes it so that no one knows anyone else's wishes. Maybe your best friend changes so drastically after giving up their wish, but you believe, like everyone else, that their wish would have only caused suffering. What can you do about it? Well what if Simon told Asha about his wish? What if Asha knew his wish wasn't dangerous and couldn't imagine a way that it could go wrong? That would give her a reason to doubt Magnifico and put more emphasis on how Simon has lost his drive like all the other adults in the kingdom. And it can also emphasize in the end that sharing your wishes and dreams with others can be a powerful thing. Just the act of sharing your dreams can inspire others to go after their own, and they can give you the encouragement to chase your wish too. Wishes inspire change, love gives you the courage to make it happen.
Imagine if the star boy used to be a human, who wished to help others and lost his humanity to do it. Imagine his wish confirms Magnifico's belief, that wishes cause suffering because star boy lost his tether to earth and is separated from the people he loves. Imagine how he foils Asha who also wants to grant everyone's wishes. Imagine him ensuring she doesn't make the same mistake he did while she gives him a reason to change again, to anchor himself to humanity again because he loves her enough not to leave for forever.
Imagine the movie confirming that, yes, change is scary. Chasing your dreams won't always make things better. You might fail more than you succeed and some wishes cannot coincide with each other, leading to grief and strife. But some wishes are worth it. Sometimes, chasing after something better and failing is worth leaving a worse situation. Sometimes taking that chance is worth it, and, like in all fairy tales, if you are kind and generous and act with love, that will make all the difference in the end.
Also, I know everyone wished for a Magnifico and Amaya evil power couple, but imagine if Magnifico was truly in love with Amaya, as he is in the movie, but that love is eventually his undoing. Like Amaya leaps in front of Asha, and Magnifico stops or redirects his attack because she's the one thing he loves more than himself and that is the weakness that Asha and co can take advantage of. Imagine Amaya keeping Magnifico in the mirror and he gets to dote on her from his imprisonment for forever. I'm just saying. At least 30 sickos like me would be into that. Imagine the depth it would give to the themes of love and change and wishing and how acts of love make all the difference.
Alright, I'll get off my soap box. I just really wish Wish could have been stronger because these fairy tales Disney is famous for matter. They really do. But the movie feels too stale and shallow and too much of a cash grab that knows the outline of a disney musical, but is unable to understand the heart of why they work.
#rose and rambles#wish 2023#disney#disney wish#if you read anything i post let it be this im shaking the bars of my cage#I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT FAIRY TALES AND DREAMS LET ME AT THE PEOPLE WHO MADE WISH SO SHALLOW#ILL MAKE THEM TEA AND GIVE THEM A GOOD SCOLDING#WHILE STEALING THEIR CLOTHES AND PUTTING ON A FAKE MUSTACHE TO TAKE OVER WHILE THEY'RE NIBBLING ON NICE COOKIES#THAT'S A TOTALLY NORMAL THING TO DO RIGHT#if you want to tell a good story you gotta tell it yourself <- my villain origin story#or at least my Sebastian kiss the girl moment. i can't believe they took out star boy. God forbid independent women have romantic interests#anyway im obsessed with how Magnifico always called Amaya “my love” and i think we can do beautiful and twisted things with that#Also i kind of hate the whole 'oh there's no saving him from this evil magic corruption' like le please that's the most stupid thing to eve#be in a fairy tale#just proves these people didn't actually read the snow queen#also also go watch Astor Rhymemaster she's a genius and explains songs IN SUCH AN IN DEPTH WAY#i haven't interacted with much other wish stuff so idk how others are rewriting it but this my ideal
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what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.
#theo.txt#spn#charlie#spn spoilers#spn 10x21#almost none of the women who've gotten fridged on this show have deserved it but still#good god this one made me especially angry#why do you use this character for a plot point and then ship her off somewhere. to oz or to the afterlife. so often?#she was such a cool character with a good story that i enjoyed and related to and THIS is what they did with her?? and from my perusing she#doesn't even really come back like bobby occasionally does?? and his death. while devastating to me as somebody who really liked him. still#felt WAY better than this#sorry i ended that episode with my jaw on the fucking FLOOR oh my god. /neg#what did she have to die for? where is that post about female characters dying so male characters can feel sad but it's a gifset of all the#bullshit ass deaths of women on supernatural#i love the show fucking obviously but jesus h christ.#but also you know what. having the context that i have. still a fucked up thing to say but i see why dean says That to sam now during#charlie's funeral. it IS an interesting look into how they respond to the other one violating their wishes/freedoms and into their larger#dynamic actually! but thats not what this post is really about#wow. i am actually livid. poor fucking charlie.#if she was like a sister to the winchesters how about you bring her back huh? how about you revive her? jesus christ#i wonder what her heaven is like. i hope its dnd and movie night with the girls#i took a little break mid-typing this to see if i was just being insane and angry but no the super wiki has a whole section about the fan#outrage at charlie's death and the discussions it furthered about the show's misogynistic tendencies#and you know what? good!#ok anyway. im going to go browse charlie art and feel abnormal now.#supernatural#charlie bradbury
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man i cannot stop thinking about Revallen finding the bones of his father. cannot fathom why the inquisition would be in coastal Nevarra. but it would be SUCH a gut punch not only for Revallen but also Dorian (the bones of a father that gave his life for his son(isn't that what a father should be?)) and the other companions to a certain extent (you've never seen the Inquisitor this haunted)
I see Revallen recognizing a landmark and just freezing. he doesn't move a muscle for like a solid minute, just staring at [whatever]. the companions are confused and concerned, if Cole is there he starts wigging out. someone asks what's wrong and instead of answering, Revallen takes off in a new direction, leaving the companions to catch up. he's practically barreling through the vegetation, completely ignoring the cries of slow down and Amatus!
Eventually they catch up to him, because he's stopped at the base of a massive, gnarled tree. Hell, it's not even one tree, it's a tangle of several different ones, roots embedded into what looks like a collapsed, rocky hillside. Some of the roots are blackened and sick, dark tendrils reaching up the trunks of the trees twisted together like thread. It's absolutely massive, and Revallen is standing at the base of the rooted stones, staring up towards the canopy. His eyes are hollow, haunted. when they ask him again what's wrong he turns his head to look at them for just a moment. then, wordlessly, he reaches out his hand, and places it on one of the thicker taproots tangled in the stone.
for a long, tense moment, nothing happens. then the taproot starts to move. a few pebbles fall. smaller, thinner wisps of root begin to smoke, resisting Revallen's mana, and then withdraw. Slowly, haltingly, the roots release their grip on the stones, revealing not a hillside but a collapsed cave entrance. Revallen pulls down one of the stones, and the rest follow, lacking the tension to hold them in place. then he steps into the cave.
there are signs of an old fight. darkspawn weapons and armor, and their blighted bones. against one of the cave walls is a semicircle of clear ground, roots reaching towards a skeleton in the center, clad in rotting Keeper's robes.
Revallen heads straight for the skeleton. He kneels next to it, and the companions enter the cave to his whispered elvish prayers.
They hang back, uneasy. One of them tentatively asks what happened here. Revallen reaches forward and picks up the skull from where it had fallen off the neck, holding it in both hands to peer into its empty sockets.
"During the Blight," he says quietly, "Keeper Dirennen made his last stand here. Darkspawn were starting to appear from this cave, from a single connection to the Deep Roads. Dirennen baited them, and when they were focused on him, he collapsed the entrance and sealed it. He was a gifted adahl'eralan - that tree outside was his doing. He gave his life to protect his clan."
"How do you know this?"
"I watched it happen." He shifts the skull to one hand to count on his fingers. "I was... 16 at the time. The last thing he did before this stand was carve my vallaslin."
"Your vallaslin? He was your Keeper?"
"No," Revallen stands, still holding the skull as if it were made of spun glass. "He was my father."
Then he turns and exits the cave.
do they follow? I mean, they must - he's the Inquisitor. but this is so sudden, so private. Dorian, at least, follows without question. he's never seen Revallen like this, and it worries him.
outside, Revallen is digging a hole at the base of the twisted tree, clawing through the dirt with his bare hands. His father's skull is set beside him on one of the taproots, watching the proceedings with its skeletal grin.
Dorian kneels beside him and places a gentle hand on his back. Revallen starts a little, but relaxes when he sees who it is. "Are you all right, Amatus?"
"Yes," Revallen says automatically, "no. I don't know. I never expected to set foot here again." He sits back, his filthy hands in his lap, and stares at the skull for a long, heavy moment. Then he lifts it tenderly off of the root and sets it in the hole, facing the sky.
"Is there anything we should do for him?" Dorian asks quietly.
Revallen sighs, rubbing an eye with the back of his hand. "Normally, we bury our dead with oaken staff and a branch of cedar, to help them on their journey and keep away Fear and Deceit. Then we plant a tree over their grave. But I have neither staff nor cedar branch, so this will have to do."
He scoops a handful of dirt into the makeshift grave. Dorian nods and does the same, and together, the pair of them bury the skull of Revallen's father.
"Hahren na melana sahlin," Revallen murmurs, pushing his fingers into the loose dirt, holding a seed. "Emma ir abelas. Souver'inan isala hamin, vhenan him dor'felas. In din'an na revas. Vir sulahn'nehn, vir dirthera. Vir samahl la numin. Vir lath sa'vunin."
A pulse of mana flows from Revallen's fingers into the seed, which sprouts, pushing up through the loose soil and growing rapidly to the size of a ten-year-old tree.
"Now that is an impressive bit of magic, if I do say so."
Revallen stands, brushing the dirt off his knees. "I'm not as good as my father was."
"He sounds like quite the man." Dorian looks up at the twisted column of trees, towering over the silver birch Revallen just sprouted. "What was that you called him earlier? Adahl..."
"Adahl'eralan."
"What does that mean?"
Revallen considers his answer as he digs some of the dirt from beneath his fingernails. "I think it'd be 'xylomancer', mage of trees. He could make the trees walk. In places where the Veil is thin, he could even make them sing."
"That's incredible. I wish I could have met him."
Revallen looks at him, then reaches out to stroke his cheek with the back of his finger. "I think he would have liked you," he says with a gentle smile.
#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#revallen lavellan#dorian x lavellan#GOOD FUCKING GOD THIS GOT LONG#me: hmmm hey here's an idea [vomits 2000 words]#i stopped there bc i had to stop fucking typing#dorian continues#'do you really? the evil tevinter magister that seduced his son?'#revallen snortlaughs. 'oh yes. he was devoted to the god of *secrets*. he'd have loved the chance to talk about magic with a necromancer.'#'and he... wouldn't care about the other thing?'#'what other- oh. no. he wouldn't have cared - he took men to bed himself from time to time.'#and dorian goes DAMN IT I WISH I HAD YOUR DAD. WHAT THE FUCK#gee revallen how come your dad is both awesome AND bisexual?#WHERE do you think rev got the awesome bisexuality from#god dammit i might as well make him a tag#dirennen tillahnen
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Revenge's consequence
Based off Granblue Fantasy Jamil SSR fate episode! I still love that fate episode very much 🥲
This took an extremely long time compared to my other pieces 🙈 I initially painted this maybe half a year ago in hopes of making it extra fancy? But it was so hefty I lost momentum... Progress shots below!
#my art#artists on tumblr#illust#illustration#jamil#granblue fantasy#granblue#gbf#グランブルーファンタジー#ジャミル#djeeta#ジータ#also i still love how his SSR came out literally one month after I posted a piece of him wishing for his ssr#on my birthday month no less!#this piece was also a struggle start to finish omg hot damn I took so long deciding and ironing out the pose#and the rendering? oh god I rarely get dissatisfied or really struggle with my artworks but this one 🙈#i really couldn't decide how the shading would go... and probably because it's a night palette I was dissatisfied with the contrast and how#many of my colours teetered to pure black which feels like an absolute no-no#anyway that's why I took half a year rendering this behemoth#i feel it doesn't even look particularly extravagant given the time it took but I do like how it turned out and I appreciate the effort#past me took rendering this half a year ago#bg didnt take much time at all but it's probably because I became more lax
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I was just listening to a song I used to love while we were friends. I listened to it so often, we talked so often, it became the background music to our relationship.
I'm listening to it while I knit. I often forget that I started knitting because of you. I remembered tonight. It's strange, I never knitted anything for you. I've knitted for other loved ones, rarely for myself, but never for you. I remembered you showing me the amazing things you made, and I wished I could get to that level of skill. But at that time, you had to explain to me how to purl because I couldn't get it.
Everything reminds me of you in a terrible way. Everything I do is an echo of you. I started painting so that I could paint for you. I started knitting to bond with you. I hear your voice in the music I listen to. You're haunting the things that I love. Will I ever make a brush stroke or stitch without you on my mind?
#i should be able to block all music i listened to on Spotify from 2018-2020. i was not doing well and i dont need the reminders pls#im fine this was just kinda reflective#so much of what i do was inspired by her. i havent spoken to her in three years. we havent been friends for five#but my first painting was a gift to her. i started knitting because she knitted. i got so much music from her#we bonded heavily over music. and i used it to cope after she left. so unfortunately shes mixed into so much of it#she got me into dnd which got me into a different ttrpg im playing now (unknown armies)#shes a big reason i applied to the summer camp i worked at for six years#and a big reason i took the position i had the last two years. and the reason i told our camp legend (long story)#she was in my christmas in july gift i gave and received this year#i dont think ill ever be able to forget her. on good nights thats a good thing. its reassuring. she'll always be with me#but on bad nights. i feel like im never going to stop missing her#i was knitting tonight while listening to music. as the post suggests. and i was just overcome with her#this is the bed i was in when she called and left me. this is the bedroom we used to video call to practice sign language in#oh theres another one. i was going to be an asl interpreter. years ago in another life. i always practiced with her#we're both autistic and asl is easier than speaking a lot of the time#fuck. it reminds me of the ship of theseus. its 2:30am so i wont be able to explain well but#no actually i tried and i cannot explain. youll just have to understand. some days i wish i ciuld replace all the parts that were her#and sometimes im so afraid to lose the parts that were her because thatll feel like losing her#if i ever consciously decided to stop knitting (which i may have to do soon) it will feel like im replacing a board that was hers#how many of my boards are hers? are any of hers mine anymore? how many of hers can i lose before shes gone?#that last one was asked with fear and hope. and fear. depending on the day#god im tired. goodnight
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Actually, I think we also need to know more about Ambrose.
But like more specifically, there's this one character trait of his that I find super interesting and that I feel should be explored more. I think this old man struggles with feelings of desperation and put under extreme pressure, makes rash decisions based on what feels correct to him at the time
So like, remember when he pulled The Wizard (us) from Earth and basically gave us a speech while we were still barely conscious that he'd been trying to summon heroes from many different planets like 12345678 times, and somehow since we were his first successful choice, a (probably) 8 year old child, he was like "OMG OKAY GOOD you're perfect fam. Go kill a warlord for me"
And this isn't even me being mad this is actually Very Funny. An old man kidnaps a child from their home Forever and like 7 minutes after we wake up, Ambrose leads us into ambush and goes "Go ahead young wizard, Kill Them :)"
It really makes you think how.... actually desperate Ambrose was at that point, to go through such extremes to defeat Malistaire (and YES these are extremes, subjecting an untrained child immediately into danger)
(KHRYSALIS SPOILERS) And if you guys remember (and if you reached Khrysalis), during Morganthe's memories Ambrose took a risk as well and expelled Morganthe after she tried to beat Malistaire's ass in a magic duel but lost. Even though you can keep in mind this was through Morganthe's eyes and she was proven to be an unreliable narrator and going through a BUNCH of confusing shit at that time, it's pretty interesting how Ambrose is considered to be the Main Bad Guy in that situation, not Malistaire. WHICH MAKES SENSE, given in that specific memory, Ambrose stepped in only to literally expel Morganthe (the teenager with horrible at-home issues) while he only gave Malistaire (the actual adult who should know better than to attack an upset child) a slap on the wrist. Back to Ambrose, I theorize this was also a rash decision based on fear and pressure and paranoia, because he noticed how much Morganthe was changing and sensed the """darkness""" (it's called trauma Ambrose) in her heart, and compared to Malistaire, who only seemed to be the "capable and responsible" teacher that hadn't lost his wife at the time, Ambrose saw that the more major threat was Morganthe and before she could do anything worse, decided to nip the problem in the bud right away
AND KEEP IN MIND THIS IS ALL SPECULATION, but once you actually start to put the pieces together, Ambrose seems to be less of a "wise and all powerful man of magic and kindness" and more of a "regular man in extreme situations making snap decisions that may or may not end well". Ambrose kind of gives me that "the ends justify the means" vibe about him and I actually dig it!!! I think that's an extremely interesting part of his character that gives him more dimension and he's no longer just "wise Dumbledore mentor" guy. He's pressured, he's scared, he's tired, and now he's willing to do just about anything to keep people safe even if that means endangering others and I really wish Kingsisle dove deeper into that part of him more
#just to be clear i dont condone his actions#like its so crazy how he took a child and was like 'go fight God#but i like morally gray characters#or the 'good people who make bad decisions' trope#and i get bored easily with 'all good and wise person who never makes a mistake or bad decision ever'#the thing is i wish the game ADDRESSED that instead of being all 'oh but ambrose is right actually :) btw you just released satan from hell#AND AGAIN this isnt me being mad or anything. this isnt a vent post this is just pure analyzing#wizard101#w101#merle ambrose
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Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20′s Neverafter episode 2
#dimension 20 spoilers#dimension 20#d20 introductions#neverafter#neverafter spoilers#i feel like i gotta do better to get a full view of the map sometime......#MAN i feel like such a baby getting so easily spooked by the camerawork and spooky voices and everything#VERY much appreciate the CWs listed in the description though very thankful for that#mannnnn i'm also feeling so stressed about the stepmother........ what the FUCK oh GOD don't get CAUGHT i'd felt some personal things there#also very thankful for the transformation warnings as well. i won't elaborate further#spoooooky spooky things......#also oh my god the glass armored knight was DEFINITELY cinderella#it took me a little bit to put together but i did...... i wonder if the other 'sisters' mentioned are OTHER fairytale princesses out there..#mannnnnn how am i going to survive TWENTY episodes of this#wish me luck
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I have NEVER seen the nein look so guilty and regretful as the time they made pumat upset and stressed. They were broken hearted about it. also no lie i would have lost my shit if a grown kiri showed up as a PC.
naur yea 😭 they looked like they were going to throw up . these guys especially...... the (gonzo themuppets voice) Guilt .
#idk how pc kiri would work but waaa yea i miss her </3#i wish she showed up again in th story apart from in messages. i want her to be able to show them the music box(?) she made ;w;#asks#rewatched th clip and th whole time taliesin looks like his soul wants to leave his body kajnkfabfks . and then cads just liek. OHNO im so#sorry oh god im sorry . : ( (((#poor guys .#also the fear that i felt when pumat sol took a while to answer the door#i thought th assembly got his ass. .. ... .. : (
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people begging me to do something to make a certain someone happy aren’t taking into account that i hate this person and i will revel in the knowledge that i kept them from getting the most perfect version of what they wanted. in fact i hope they mourn the loss of this for the rest of their life and die unhappy about it
#i wish i could do worse. i wish i could go through and ruin everything i ended up giving them (all against my wishes) and i wish#i could ruin everything they love because god do i hate them and i will laugh when they finally fucking die#i have no idea why everyone glosses over all the shit this person has done to us and all the pain they’ve caused and i can’t fathom why#everyone wants to make them happy and why they’re willing to beg and bribe for me (and one other person who also hates them) to#give in but it is amusing and i hope they all fucking cry about it like oh nooo did poor [REDACTED] not get something they will never#get another chance to have ? oh well that sucks so bad for them i’m oh so sorry i caused that i can’t believe i managed to ruin their#chances for this how awful that this person i hate who has done and gotten away with so many horrible things didn’t get their perfect#little fantasy how sad we should all comfort them and call me a bitch who has no respect for anyone#god sometimes i wish i gave into violence more in the past bc i wish i got to fucking beat their ass up back when it would be self-defense#unforch i will never get to now. SAD!#i suppose i have murder fantasies and the thought of being able to ruin their funeral to soothe my soul#and the knowledge that i could make them fucking hurt by refusing to cooperate w them#and ough every time an opportunity presents itself for me to fucking take back what they took from me arises i have to fight myself#on it bc everyone will know it was me. i don’t even want what they have i just want them to know they will never get it back and#god it would upset them so much but they never should have had it in the first place ough if i get the chance before i ditch everyone here#for good i’d want to take it and stick around just long enough to hear how much they’ll cry about it before i fuck off#unforch i would need to know where all of their copies of things are but fuck i hate knowing they’ve taken so much from me bc i didn’t#get a fucking choice and they think they have to right to keep it all bc oh it makes them so happy they love having it they’re so fucking#afraid of losing it but it’d be so easy and i doubt they’d even notice for a while and i genuinely could disguise it as a mistake something#got misplaced some files corrupted etc etc but whatever this is fantasy a sweet little daydream of mine my second fantasy involving#them has smth to do with setting their house on fire and my third fantasy is desecrating their grave when the time comes#okay i’m done w this lalalalalala *skips off into the distance* i think revenge is not productive but god is it delicious to think about
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it is not slacking off to write or create it is not slacking off to do things that are fun i am not slacking off or procrastinating right now i'm allowed to do things i enjoy doing for fun including playing games and writing and such
#if i say it enough i will remember it's true#can you guess which aspect of capitalism i'm struggling with today?#it does not help my bones are somehow WORSE than yesterday even after all of the rest i took so that's Super Fun:tm:#so i've got that on in the back of my head#ugh#i... am putting off calling my grandma - i meant to do it last week but i got too in my head about it#and uno reversed myself into forgetting to do it at all until the Worst Times Possible#(generally around Normal Fuckin Meal Times)#i want to call to wish her a belated mother's day and check in re: grandpa but also...#also i don't want to have to do a phone call i don't want to talk to them about anything at all#they stress me out to talk to and it makes me super uncomfortable to be on the phone in general let alone with a Heavy Topic over our heads#like.... i'm comfortable with where i'm at acceptance-wise with Grandpa's whole situation#and i know i am late for a better relationship with the pair of them in general#like i'm not going to repair a relationship that wasn't built to collapse down to this point this is as far as it got built up to#i'm not building more relationship between me and someone who i know is passing soon when they didn't take the opportunity either#like they had just as much chance as me to improve our relationship after i became an adult and they chose to use my mother as#an intermediary which has stunted their connection to me and that's not my fault#i admittedly did not reach out but i was not taught i could safely do that to anyone#because my parents badmouth literally any person they know for one reason or another#i regularly fuck up in conversations with my grandparents because i'll say somethign that is a holdover from my understanding of them#through my parents and it's like. kind of really insulting! and i've been doing it my whole life and i know as soon as i get their reaction#and i can't recover because i don't actually know them at all#so i can't be like ''oh my god i know that's inaccurate i have no idea why i said that'' because i *don't* know until after i've done it#every goddamn time it happened the last time i got a call from them too#like... my bio fam/family of origin is just not good at keeping in touch and i know i'm a product of that#and i know theoretically how to adjust for it but it does require work on the other end of the line too#and unfortunately i know my bio family too well and know they won't do their part#i grew up in the group project everyone hates#and i'm on my way to deciding they can show up to the presentation day without me#i've started a new family project over here with blackjack and hookers
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i ADORE yoyr skills in making characters with wildly complex personalities. how do you do it this well
THANK YOU!!! I HAVE NO FECKIN IDEA!!!
i usually just start with a concept (heehoo iterator who doesn't care for their puppet and the puppet has a blankie thrown over it and there's creepy peepy teefs under there) and then built off from that (the character now leads death itself to its family no matter how much it hurts and tears away at it because it recognizes this is ultimately the best thing that can happen to them and it Only wishes for the best for its family cuz it loves them a lot. no matter what it will take, its family will be alright.)- OH a VERY important thing for character making is interconnecting them with other characters!!! that is literally the Most important thing Ever imo. and then details. details are what build the complexity!
the more interactions with other characters and the world you put the peepo thru, the more shaped they will be, i suppose? while still keeping a core idea very clear
also taking inspirations from other characters and then remixing n combining these different inspirations is a valid thing to do. one of Notos' big inspirations is, for example, Wednesday Addams from that netflix show! sometimes the inspiration comes from a certain pack of feelings i get from a song/situation, like for example Zephyr and Johanka by Brotosauři/Joan of Arc in general. Johanka and where i first heard it, the way i first sung it, was already full of so many things that simply applying it to Zephyr gave her a complex personality
and as always -claps- don't forget to give your character low points and weaknesses. but ALSO don't forget to give them their shining moments and strengths
#Spot says stuff#i legit dont know how to explain my process- a lot of it legit comes from the feelings songs can make one feel#when i first sang Johanka....... it was also when i first heard it. my dad was playing it going for a solo cuz nobody else really knew the-#-song then. his voice carried a mix of softness and a fight. he sung the chorus once and on the second one i joined; feeling inspired by-#-the fight of it. the revolution the determination the... melancholic agony of Joans unjustly death#then i read her wikipage. n i read- at the end there when shes about to be burned she asked for a cross. she was accused of *so* much.#of being the messanger of the devil. of being so vile- and shes surrounded by these people that are supposed to think of her like that.#why ever would someone grant her last wish? give her a cross? let her love the God and angels that she says guided her?#a soldier took two sticks and tied them. he gave the makeshift cross to her. she smiled and gave it a kiss and hugged it close to her chest#just before being *burned alive* shes given such.. humane kindness from someone who should be her *enemy*#its so tiny. so small so remshackle so broken. its so little the eyes of royals but oh the world that it means to someone who Understands-#-the love it took to do something like that. such a little gesture... made out of humane kidness. so she doesnt have to be alone.#the Feelings of that. that means so much to me as a person and i want to put that into Zephyr out of love and appreciation
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15.01.2024
Happy new year everyone!💗
I wish you all experience good things in 2024. and will eat lots of good food as I did on the 13th of January.
#see i had to visit dentist on 13th i did i was there vut then there were some issues and i couldn't get the treatment done. so iw as#supposed to cone back but i didn't hehe. i took a day out. i took the metro and went ot thsi market which was not how i supposed it to be#but i ate golgappe so yumm then i bought a kurti so cute it is. then i went on to gave sone food and have this dleicious dosa and coffee#oh my god the cofffee was so ssoo goood. then i went on to thisbookstore at last. i was meaning to gk there qyite some days nthis wasthe day#i stayed there for i think 1 and half hour atleast and looked at books. i bought 3 books and had this brownie i was so full at this point#but i finished the brownie and then came back. so it was a me day which mostly includes roaming clueless in a city walking alot food books#and conversations with random ppl asking fir directions going into shops looking at pieces clothes flowers fruits etc#also i saw a very cute sweater for a baby ot was lilac it was so pretty#that's all#thus was my 13th of January#it was a good day i loved it i want more days like this forever#i wish you days like thjs#food#guess it's a foodblr now#february academia#food with books#bye bye#i love you
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The worst thing about falling apart later is that by all accounts, you should be fine bc everything else is finally fine.
But nope. You finally reach a point of safety, of stability, and then your 3 lbs of electric tapioca pudding goes AH! YES! NOW WE CAN MELTDOWN!
#mental health#search: how to fix myself without therapy bc I don’t want anybody else that close#related: how to release tight shoulders and hips#that ‘grandma’s tits’ Finn who said why drive for therapy when there’s wood to split and stack was Right#I love living in the middle of nowhere most of the time but goddamn sometimes I do wish I was within easy driving time of#a physical therapist who specializes in autistic folks and a somatic therapist to help reset these damned nerves#I support medication intervention but I have had SO MANY bad reactions to Rx meds in the past that I just don’t trust it#maxalt?? worse migraines somehow. oh god I remember being laid out for three days that last time I took it.#hydrocodone??? I projectile vomited at LEAST three feet out#doxy has me clinging to the side of a gravitron
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i’ve been messaging this dude for a couple weeks, we haven’t met in person yet but i …… think he walked past me at the gym
#yesterday we were chatting and he mentioned he usually goes to the gym around 5am before work#and i usually leave at 5 but the other day i took my time and was late heading out#naturally i’ve been thinking abt this all day bc i DID take notice of a particular dude walking in on friday morning at that time#cuz he has white hair and is super fit and that’s … distinct#ahhh ! fuck my entire fucking life. wish i had been wearing my glasses that day#bc now i keep thinking about it & im like duhhh#i have fucking PINK HAIR he definitely saw me and that’s why he asked. oh my god how embarrassing .. i was really fucking around trying a#bunch of random shit with the kettlebells too like 😭 why didn’t he see me deadlifting bro that’s so sad#pegasus speaks#anyways we’re planning on getting coffee this week so whatever#ruh roh
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