#obviously it's still a big sacrifice for the gods to make

[cassafrasscr]

I know a lot of folks are unhappy with Bell’s Hells asking the pantheon to give up their godhood, but I can't help thinking of Orym in their first conversation with the Matron:

"Do you ever miss being mortal? Living a life... it's pretty great."

[hencheri]

make you mine

18+ mdni.

You've never suspected the evil would have taken the form of Jay, a hot guy from your college, but when he takes interest in you, you rapidly discover the secret he's been hiding.

pairing: jock!jay x fem!reader

wc: 5.7k

warnings: graphic description of gore (mention of blood & injuries), dubcon, implied inexperienced!reader, unprotected sex, jay's kinda mean but hey he's evil so ain't my fault lol.

a.n.: jennifer's body au cause why not. old fic from an old blog, but it's still my fav of all time <3

Jay thinks he never felt that much pain in his whole entire life. It’s like his soul is screaming from the inside out, as if someone stabbed him in the stomach, tearing his guts apart. 

Oh, but that’s what actually happened…

How can he still be alive? He swears he was dead seconds ago, losing liters of blood through the cut in his stomach. But he’s very much conscious right now, getting out of the woods he was brutally murdered in. 

Well, is it still even murder if he survived? 

It doesn’t matter anymore anyway. All he can think about at this moment is how hungry he is. He would devour anything he can put his hand on, and god, why does the person on the other side of the street look so… edible? 

He feels the dried blood that dripped from his mouth stick to his skin as his hands are stained in the same red substance, holding his stomach where, surprisingly, he is no longer bleeding from.The pain is atrocious, but he needs to fucking eat, and so he approaches the person faster. 

The moment they notice him, their eyes grow bigger and they let out a strident scream, but Jay gives them no time to leave.

He doesn’t know what in the hell possesses him to jump on that poor human, his teeth becoming sharper than they ever were, shredding their neck in pieces, their screams slowly dying down as he eats like a starved animal.

The fresh blood is coating the dried layer on his chin. He feels like an uncontrollable beast, and he’s literally acting like one right now. No one with a right mind would have ever done this… but it’s like he isn’t a human. 

He was revived from the dead, there’s nothing human about him anymore. Nothing.

He has an idea as to why this happened. 

Those girls — that girl band who he seemed so enthralled by — sacrificed him, and for what…? For fame? For money? Whatever it is, they killed the wrong person because obviously the sacrifice didn’t fucking work. He’s still very much alive. 

He’s cursed now, that’s for sure. Or whatever the hell is happening to him. 

He looks down at his victim; it’s a man. 

He suddenly feels nauseous, vomiting what he had so far swallowed. A dark liquid comes out of his mouth, and god, it’s even more painful than the cut in his stomach. 

He feels disgusted by himself — why isn’t he full? Eating felt so good, considering how starved he was, but it’s like he ate something … expired. 

What’s wrong with him… He ate someone’s guts, of course it doesn’t taste like a 5 stars meal. Then why did his instinct tell him to do that? 

That’s fucked up. 

The next few days are horrible for Jay. 

After that night, he doesn’t eat anything except for raw chicken and other types of meat that are just not enough to satiate him. It doesn't taste good either. 

He lays in bed most of the time, having no energy, skipping the gym and his practices, which he usually never does. He gets texts from his friends, but he doesn’t bother to check his phone. 

It’s on Sunday night that he decides to leave his bed, going to look at himself in the mirror. He has big dark circles under his eyes — not particularly flattering. He’s still very hungry, but none of the food in his fridge makes him want to eat. 

There’s one thing he’d want, though… 

It’s when he receives a text from a specific person that he knows what to do. 

iseul: hey, jay. wanna study together for the finals?

—-

“Hey, man,” Jay’s teammate, Jungwon, greets him. “Heard about Hana? That’s fucked up,” he says, walking beside his friend. “And right after Iseul… My parents refuse my sister to go out alone now.”

“Yeah, I heard,” Jay replies, not really caring, but still listening. 

It’s not like anybody liked Hana before, he doesn’t understand why everybody suddenly cares now that she’s dead. She needed to die to finally have some importance. How sad. 

She wasn’t that good of a laid either, so really, what’s the matter? Sure, it’s tragic, but who’s going to miss her besides her family. 

“Can’t be an animal at this point,” his teammate says under his breath, “Do you wanna know what I’m thinking?”

Not really…

“What?”

“I’m thinking it’s gotta be some ‘Jack the Ripper’ kinda guy. You know those freaks who wanna be the modern this or that.”

Kind of offensive… 

Jay rolls his eyes without Jungwon noticing, snickering at his words.

“The police’s saying it’s a bear or some shit,” Jay explains, reaching his class. “That’s more believable than your ‘modern Jack the Ripper’.” He mimics quotes with his fingers, stopping in front of the classroom. 

Jungwon still doesn’t seem convinced, but it’s not Jay’s job to make him less stupid. He can believe what he wants, he’s not an investigator even though he thinks he is. 

“See you at practice, alright?”

“Yeah, later, man.”

Jay has never been very attentive in class. He doesn’t care about a lot of things and college is one of them. He wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for his parents and their high expectations of him. 

He’s looking outside the windows, noticing the grey clouds, heavy rain pouring from the sky. A flash of lighting breaks through the sky, hearing the thunder a second after. 

Nobody seems attentive either, all interested in the thunderstorm that’s starting. It might be the strongest they’ve seen in a couple of years. 

��Crap,” the teacher says as the electricity is cut off, surely because of the thunder. 

Girls are gasping, some of them whispering to each other about how creepy the situation is while the professor waits for the power to get back on.

Jay’s phone lights up as he gets a new notification. He takes a look, reading the text he just received. 

jungwon: practice’s canceled.. 

Great, Jay thinks. He really needed to get some steam off, but it won’t happen today. 

“Sir!” A girl raises her hand, catching the attention of the professor. “All classes got canceled. Can we leave? Apparently the power isn’t coming back for a few hours.”

The professor seems quite disappointed, but he lets everyone go back home, seeing no point in staying if he can’t teach. 

While exiting the classroom, Jay gets bumped into by someone. He doesn’t move much, but the person drops their books on the floor, bending down to pick them up hurriedly. 

“Shit… Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” you apologize, standing back up when you have all of your books in your arms.

“It’s fine,” Jay mumbles and you give him a straight smile.

He recognizes you from highschool, a girl he never talked to, but who he knew the name of. Then, he watches you walking away for a short moment, eyeing the curves of your silhouette, memorizing it. 

—-

You’re in the cafeteria, sitting with your friends, waiting for about a good 30 minutes now. The storm from yesterday is still ongoing, and the power is very unstable, cutting off every now and then.

The finals are scheduled for today and the administration told the students to come regardless of the storm, thinking it would stop during the night. So you’re waiting to be sent to the gym where the exams are usually taking place, but seeing the electricity goes off and comes back every second, it isn’t the best time to start an exam. 

People are free to go, it’s college after all, but most of the students are staying in case a decision is made. You know you wouldn’t want to skip your exam, that’s why you’re staying, even though it’s starting to get really long. 

No murder has happened since the beginning of the storm, confirming the police suspicions that it might be a wild animal doing this. A bear wouldn’t come out during a thunderstorm, hence why no bodies have been found or anyone going missing. 

You don’t really know what to think of the whole thing. You never really experienced anything of the sort before, only ever seen it in the news, taking place in a far away city. Now, it’s really different to be a witness of it.

You don’t understand how an animal would do such a thing, especially since they aren’t known to attack humans, or… eat them. But everybody is kind of desperate to find a culprit. 

As you’re looking through your notes, you notice that you’re missing a piece of information that you absolutely need to know for your test. You would ask your friends, but none of them are in this class with you. Plus, you forgot your book so the only solution would be to go to the library. 

The place is lit up by candles and oil lamps. The power doesn’t seem to have come back here either. 

The librarian isn’t even here, so you can’t ask her for directions, which would be really useful, but you’ll do without. You go to the biology section and start searching for the book you need. It takes you some time, carefully looking through the shelves until you notice an older edition of the book. You hope what you need is in there.

You start flipping the pages to the right chapter, but you jump out of surprise and drop the book to the floor at the sound of someone else’s voice. 

“Aren’t you supposed to attend your exam?”

It’s the guy you bumped into yesterday; Jay. 

What’s weird is that you didn’t hear him at all, you could have sworn you were alone in the library. You suppose he’s a really quiet walker.

“Uh, y-yeah,” you stammer out, furrowing your brows. You bend down to pick up the book, his eyes following your movements closely. “Just had to come here for this,” you say and show the object in question in your hand. “What about you?”

He leans on the shelves beside him. 

“Didn’t feel like wasting my time back there,” he explains and you nod, not really sure what he wants exactly… It’s not like you’re friends or anything.

You can’t see much of him with the low lighting in the library, but you still catch on the way he’s looking at you intently. It makes you slightly uncomfortable, considering he’s towering over you with all his height. And Jay is very tall compared to you. 

“Is- Is there something else you wanted to ask me…?” You manage to let out, voice a bit shaky and uneasy. 

“Are you scared?” he asks casually.

He steps closer to you, and you don’t understand why you don’t step back. It’s like you don’t dare.

“What?”

“The storm. Pretty intense, right?”

Is he really interested to know if you’re scared of storms or is he playing with you? Why would he even play with you in the first place, that’s what you wonder. 

His behaviour really confuses you. It’s true that you don’t know him, but he isn’t the type of guy to just… creep girls out. Maybe it’s not his intention though?

“Oh, yeah… it’s nothing I've ever seen before,” you confess in a small voice. 

“Me neither,” Jay replies. 

You hold the book against you tighter like it’s some sort of protection, or just as emotional support. You don’t know what’s up with him, but it has you feeling some type of way… 

You feel the knot in your stomach getting tighter as he gets even closer, trapping you between him and the bookshelves. 

Yes, you’re scared, but not of the storm… of him.

And… there’s a part of you that likes it — likes the attention he gives you, the way his dark eyes look at your body. His gaze makes you think of a carnivore, a predator. 

You’re the food he was looking for. 

“It’s really loud, isn’t it?” he observes. “I wonder… if you had to scream, would anybody hear you?”

That startles you right away. 

“Jay-” Saying his name seems to catch his attention, his eyes looking directly into yours. “Stop it.”

He doesn’t break eye contact, and you’re destabilized by how long he can hold your gaze, a shiver running down your spine, making the hair on your arms stand up. 

It’s only to whisper in your ear that his eyes leave yours. 

“Stop what exactly?”

His hot breath hits the side of your neck, hearing your heart pounding in your chest, the knot in your stomach becoming heavier and heavier. Your hands clasp around your book, holding onto it for dear life as you gulp down the excess of saliva in your mouth. 

You scrunch your eyes shut when you feel his hands on your hips, fingers sneaking under the hem of your top. Your core heats up, blood rushing to your cheeks.

“What do you want?” You breathe out, opening your eyes when Jay faces you again. 

He takes the book from you, putting it back onto the shelves, not caring if it’s the wrong placement. 

“Just a little bit of fun,” he answers, “wouldn’t you like that, hm?” He slips his index finger under the band of your skirt then, pulling you closer to him, his lips only centimetres away from yours. “I know girls like you are too shy to ask for it… So I’m making the first move.” 

“No, I-” You begin, but don’t have the time to finish your sentence. 

“It’s fine, I’m gonna take the lead. You don’t have to worry about anything, pretty,” he tells you, tilting his head and pressing a light kiss to your lips. Surprisingly, you reciprocate it. He pulls his hand away from your skirt, putting it around your neck instead. “I knew you’d be into it, you’re a little freak, aren’t you?” 

You don’t know what to answer. Is there even anything you can say back to him? What’s the point of lying when he has you trapped between his large body and the bookshelves, his slender fingers gripping your neck, his lips brushing over your face. 

But would that be really a lie saying he’s wrong about you? He doesn’t know you…

He kisses you again, this time sloppier, his tongue dominating yours easily. He nudges your legs open with his knee, his other hand swiftly diving under the hem of your skirt, groping your flesh in a lewd way that keeps you out of breath — apart from the fact that his tongue is currently exploring your mouth. 

He graces the bump of your pussy with his knuckles, making your knees buckle at the unexpected contact. He rubs the pad of his middle finger over your clit, a whine escaping your throat, muffled by his mouth on yours. The moment is brief until he slips his hand into your underwear. 

You try to make him stop by grabbing his wrist, pulling away from his lips to pathetically whisper a ‘please’ that makes him chuckle. 

“Already begging for me, sweetheart?” He softly laughs, smirking at you. “Excited by the idea of a guy’s fingers in your little cunt instead of yours? Is that it?”

You frown because that wasn’t the reason why you begged him, but now that he said this… your thoughts are going into a completely different way. What’s wrong with you?

“Do you wanna know how it feels, baby? How it’s like to have your pussy stuffed by someone else’s fingers…” 

He’s not waiting for an answer as he starts stroking your bud of nerves in slow circular motions, applying some pressure to really make you feel it. You let out another whine, this time of pleasure. 

Jay then shifts down to your entrance, circling it with a lot of delicacy, but this gentleness of his doesn’t go on for long as he pushes a finger into you. You bite down on your bottom lip — the size of his fingers are in no comparison to yours. Your eyes well up in tears, little cries escaping your mouth when he adds a second digit. 

“I know, I know,” he whispers, “must be uncomfortable, hm?” You nod your head, confirming his words. “It’ll feel good soon, I promise. You’re used to the feel of your tiny fingers, it’s normal…”

When he says this, you have a hard time believing him. How could it feel good when you weren’t at all prepared for this — when it’s not what you wanted. 

He begins to move his fingers inside of you, slow and long strokes at first, circling your clit with his thumb at the same time. He curls his fingers, making a little hook, patting your sweet spot. The intrusion is uncomfortable, but it progressively gets so much more pleasurable as he thrusts into you at a regular pace. 

Tears are still falling down from your eyes, eyelashes wet and sticky, but they aren’t the result of your pain… 

“You’re pretty when you cry,” Jay murmurs beside your ear, butterflies in your stomach when he tells you this. 

He unwraps his hand from your throat to instead grab your thigh, placing your leg around his hip. You now feel his fingers way deeper inside of you, gently and deliciously stimulating your g-spot. You dare to look down where his left hand is operating between your thighs, sliding in until he’s knuckles deep into your pussy. This makes you breathless, head rolling back on your shoulders and hitting the shelves behind you. 

“Oh, my god-!” You exclaim when Jay’s ministrations bring you so close to your orgasm. Your legs are twitching, your body warning you of your approaching high.

You’d probably be more aware of his hard cock trapped in his baggy jeans, but you literally cannot focus on anything else other than Jay fingering you, hitting your sensitive spot each time he thrusts in. 

“That’s it, baby,” he encourages, moving faster. “You feel it? Huh?” He asks and you croak out a weak ‘yes’. “Tell me how it feels.”

You hate his questions — you hate them so much. He knows how you feel, but he wants you to say it, he wants you to say that you enjoy it, and… your body really does. 

“G-Good.”

“Yeah?” he breathes out, fucking your cunt with his fingers, enthralled by the little moans you let out.

“Yes,” you confirm, closing your eyes and nodding your head. “Fuck!” You curse out when you finally reach your high, grasping onto his forearm as you ride out your orgasm, your entire body shaking. 

Jay helps you by slowly rubbing your puffy clit in circles, telling you more dirty words in your ear, all said in the sweetest voice, as if what he’s doing can be described as anything sweet. 

“Good girl,” he praises, “see, I told you it’d feel great.”

He still has his head in the crook of your neck, and you frown at the feeling of sharp teeth against your skin. It’s barely there, just brushing over it, as if hesitating to act… but Jay retrieves back, looking into your reddened eyes. 

He could stop there, but he won’t — though he got what he wanted, he needs more… 

He pulls his hand out of your panties, fingers glistening in your arousal. “Open wide for me, baby,” he instructs. 

You glance at his hand, a little repulsed. You’ve never thought of tasting yourself and it’s surely nothing you’d have ever done if not for Jay. 

You then reluctantly open your mouth and he enters his wet fingers in. 

“Suck,” he adds on, expecting you to follow his orders, and you do without a second thought. 

He stares down at you while you lick his fingers clean and he slides them a bit deeper, pushing down on your tongue. The taste of yourself isn’t what you thought it’d be… It doesn’t taste much, in fact. 

He removes his fingers from your mouth only to put them in his own after. “As sweet as you are,” he grins. “Turn around.”

You hesitate for a moment, looking at him credulously, before doing what he asked you to do on trembling legs. 

“Are you…?” You say under your breath, looking over your shoulder and seeing Jay pulling the zipper of his pants down. 

“Going to put my cock into you?” he finishes your question, “yeah, I am.”

You stop breathing at his answer, sensing his deft fingers touching your thighs and hips, going under your skirt to drag your panties down. 

He soon gets his cock out of his briefs, pumping himself a couple of times before aligning his head with your dripping entrance. His right hand keeps your skirt crumpled up over your ass, laying the other one on your hip. 

“Careful, sweetheart,” he says softly beside your ear, “because this might sting a little bit more than two fingers.” He swipes the head of his cock through your sticky folds and all you can do is moan pathetically at the feeling, lewd, wet noises echoing in the big library. 

You can’t see his length even with the way you contort your head to look over your shoulder, but you’re still able to see his chest and hips moving as he pushes his cock into your pussy. Though you have no idea what he looks like, the painful feeling of your cunt getting stretched out to his size tells you he’s really big. 

And he was right. This hurts way more than his fingers, the two feelings are not comparable at all. 

“Jay-,” you cry out, holding onto the shelves in front of you till there’s no more blood in your knuckles. 

He hears you, loving the sounds you’re making because of him and the way you say his name with eyes full of tears. When he bottoms out inside of you, his pelvis flushed against your ass, he lets out a low grunt and throws his head back, closing his eyes to savour the pleasure entirely. 

You involuntarily clench around him, making him tighten his grip on your hip. He then starts thrusting into you, his cock sliding in and out of your pussy at a slow but harsh pace. Each time he bottoms out, Jay makes sure the skin of his thighs slap against your ass, the sounds almost as loud as your little moans and whimpers. 

But the storm is so intense and noisy that he’s pretty sure nobody else in the library could hear you — if there was anyone else here apart from the two of you anyway. 

Your wetness allows him to fuck his cock into your pussy back and forth, welcoming him so perfectly without any restraint. It’s almost impossible for him to not hit your sweet spot, and he reaches so much deeper when he lifts up your thigh with the hand that was previously placed on your hip. 

You don’t know how long you can stay in this position, especially when Jay’s drilling his cock into you like nothing else matters. It’s like he needs it from you, and as the pleasure only builds up in you, you start thinking you need it desperately, too. 

You’re breathing heavily, and so is he, feeling his hot breath on your neck when he tilts his head down closer to yours. You can clearly hear his breathing now as well as his deep grunts that leave his mouth every time your walls close tightly around his girth, literally sucking him in. 

“Shit,” he curses out as he pushes lightly on your back, deepening the arch of it so your ass is flushed against his pelvis. “How could I have ever missed out on you… You’re so- fuck,” Jay chokes out, not finishing his sentence, but you have a guess on what he wanted to say. 

He then kisses your neck pretty messily, but it only raises the temperature of your body, your skin boiling hot under his soft lips. He leaves a wet trail behind, going up to your ear, down to your shoulder. 

Telling him to stop isn’t even possible anymore, it wouldn’t make any sense… would be absolutely stupid when you’re so close to your second orgasm. 

As he thrusts into you, his balls slap your pussy, and the sounds are just too vulgar, but it’s honestly arousing you so much. Jay lets go of your thigh to take a hold of your jaw, turning it around so he can look at your face. 

Your mouth is ajar to let out big puffs of air, and it’s the same for him, his breathing being irregular and heavy. He didn’t think he would ever need something that badly, which is making you his, surprisingly enough. 

Making you his in whatever way possible; whether it’s by fucking you or eating you — or both. Jay doesn’t care, he just wants it. 

It doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to pass through you, arms and legs shaking as the knot at the pit of your stomach snaps. Jay feels it very clearly, your walls hugging his cock terribly tightly, bringing him closer to his own orgasm as well.

“Holy fuck,” he hisses, his hip thrusts accelerating, literally burying his cock in your cunt until he slips out. He rapidly strokes himself and cums on your ass, strings of white cum falling on you. “Oh, god…”

He stays in this position for a couple of seconds, catching his breath. He then slightly backs away, making sure to keep your skirt crumpled up over your butt, looking at the mess he made of you. 

Suddenly, you both catch on the voices entering the library, making you rush to dress up and clean yourselves. 

—-

You’re in your bedroom, studying and writing down in your notebook while lying on your bed. It’s relatively quiet in your house, hearing the TV downstairs playing and the ceiling fan above your head running. 

The ringtone of your cell phone breaks the silence, buzzing on top of your bedsheets. It’s a number that you don’t recognize, but the first digitals show that it’s a number from your area, so you pick it up. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, pretty.”

“Uh, who is this?” You ask the person on the other side of the line because you have no idea who would call you like this. They must know you.

“Take a guess,” they say, and their tone is oddly flirty. 

You frown, starting to remember where you heard this voice for the last time… And in which situation exactly. 

“... Jay?” 

He laughs at that and you can imagine the cheeky smile he’s sporting right now. 

“You got it,” he replies, “see, I knew you’d remember me.” 

You immediately feel uneasy despite the fact you’re just talking through the phone, but things have happened since your encounter with Jay.

Things such as more dead girls, all brutally murdered by this supposed ‘animal’. 

You suspected nothing until you noticed how tired looking Jay was a day or two after what happened in the library. Normally, you wouldn’t have looked at him, but you literally couldn’t get him out of your head after how intimate the both of you had been. 

Every time he was in the same hallway as you, you’d give him a glance and nothing more as you were too shy to talk to him or even look at him for too long. 

But sometimes you dared to watch him a little longer when he didn’t know you were there. 

And you saw the dark circles, the bad attitude he had with his friends, and the disdain look he seemed to give to everybody. You also saw him get in his car with a girl. You were jealous for a second, but you felt totally different the next day when that same girl went missing and that Jay was doing fine again. 

At first, it was just silly thoughts, but it was too strong of a coincidence, you couldn’t think about anything else. 

Jay’s an incubus.

“Yeah…” You say back, shoulders tense as you sit up on your bed. “How did you get my number?” 

“Asked Jungwon for it,” he simply explains. “You did a project back in highschool together. Remember?”

You do remember. You were so stressed out about it. Paired with a popular jock? You believed the teacher was against you, but it turned out that Jungwon was way nicer than you thought.

“Luckily, you didn’t change numbers.”

Lucky for who?

“Right,” you huff out, looking through your window, a shiver passing through you at the thought of Jay hiding somewhere.

“What’re you doing?” he asks.

“Uhm, just studying… Why?” 

“Wanna go out with me?” Jay proposes after a few seconds of silence. 

You look through your window again. It’s dark outside. This would be such a bad idea… 

“It’s 9 p.m. on a Thursday night,” you begin, sounding way too bitchy for his liking, “where would we go? And why would I even go out with you…”

“The park’s always open,” he adds.

“What-”

“Relax. Nothing bad gonna happen, alright?" his voice resonates through the phone, hearing a slight laugh after. "I miss you, that's all."

You bite down on your lip, shaking your head to get all of your stupid thoughts away. As much as you hate to admit it, you love hearing that from Jay. That’s all you wanted him to say since he left you in the library… tell you he needs you as much as you need him. 

But this isn’t the time for that — there won’t ever be another time anyway. 

You respond nothing and so he takes it as a yes. “Send me your address, I’ll come pick you up in 10 minutes. Put something pretty on,” he chuckles, hanging up. 

—-

The park isn’t an open space with benches and a fountain. It’s basically the woods where you go for hiking. There are paths you can follow that will all lead you to the same place at the end. 

You could have thought of something smarter, or less dangerous, but you didn’t have any time. Jay showed up at your entrance precisely 10 minutes after he hung up and you weren’t exactly ready to see him just yet. 

You had to get in his car anyway, the whole ride being quiet until you arrived at your destination. Your stomach churned up the moment you entered the woods, Jay behind you. 

Your heart is still beating super fast right now, whether it’s because you’re absolutely scared or because Jay is kissing you feverishly, it doesn’t matter. You can’t do this, and you don’t know how it might end for you if you let yourself be distracted by him. 

“Jay,” you manage to say between kisses. You push harder on his chest, making him stop from putting his tongue in your mouth. “We need to talk,” you say firmly. 

“About what?” he chuckles, diving back down to the crook of your neck where he plants wet kisses, his hand sneaking up under your dress while the other holds your hip. 

You squirm, fighting hard to not let yourself give in to his touch. 

“I saw… I saw Kazuha and you getting into your car the other day,” you confess and he backs away from your neck when he hears that, looking intently at your face. 

“And? You were jealous, is that it?” He questions, lifting one eyebrow. 

“No! I mean-,” you answer right after, thinking about what to say and how to say it. “She went missing the day after you saw her, and-”

Jay gets visibly annoyed, trapping his bottom lip between his teeth. He lets go of you, still looking at you, but not with lustful eyes anymore. 

“What? What are you trying to say, huh?” He huffs out. “That I killed her? Fucking crazy.”

Is he really guilty? He has to be. You know he is. 

“Back in the library,” you begin to say, “were you… did you intend to kill me?” You eventually say it all, breath caught in your throat as you watch Jay registering your words. 

He sighs, “why would it matter?” You frown at that, about to respond, but he steps closer to you, trapping you between him and the tree again. “Just let me take care of you, gonna make you feel so good, baby…” 

He slips his hands under your dress so rapidly that you don’t have any time to react, immediately overwhelmed by his groping and his lips all over you. 

But you get back to your senses, using all your force to push him away. You succeed to have a safe distance between the two of you.

“So you’re admitting it!? You wanted to- to do the same thing to me!”

“No,” he disagrees, his voice harsh, sounding quite annoyed. “I just wanted- Fuck!” he exclaims angrily, but it’s like he doesn’t know what to say. 

“You could have had everybody you wanted, Jay,” you state, looking him into the eyes, “why me?”

He looks back at you and you wonder how you couldn’t have seen it before… The evil. 

“Why not? You’re hot, kinda stuck-up, but I had to try it, you know,” he chuckles. “For a nerdy girl, you sure know how to take dick.”

This angers you to a point… 

“Fuck you!”

And without thinking twice, you reach down to pick up the pocket knife you hid in your boot before. 

You open it and you rush toward Jay, stabbing him in his lower stomach. You retrieve the knife a bit too hastily, resulting in you dropping it and falling down on your butt to the ground. 

Jay also falls down, holding onto his stomach, red blood dripping out of his cut onto his hands. He yells out many curses, sucking air through his teeth to appease the pain as much as he can. 

You watch him, startled and out of breath, eventually turning around and searching for your knife through the dirt and dead leaves. When you find it, you get back up and to Jay, but he isn’t there anymore.

He has completely disappeared. 

[bountycancelled]

(un)secret admirer

luke castellan x child of aphrodite!reader

tip me on kofi, if you feel so inclined

requested: nope, I'm just currently obsessing over pjo (aren't we all?) and Charlie bushnell is my pookie so luke is also my pookie (what about all the people he murdered– what murdaaaa?!)

warnings: none I believe!

content: probably ooc luke becusse I haven't read the books, I don't know if demigods even nap, I don't remember the movies and he's barely in the show lol, some cuddling, lowercase intended because fuck grammar, also I know demi gods are dyslexic i just dont gaf because i thought this concept was cute, that's all!

a/n: SEND ME PJO REQS! please. also this is short and I'm sorry, I've been having horrid writers block.

"I don't get what the big deal is." Lukes voice could be heard from where he sat on your bed, as you gazed at the piece of paper in your hand, pacing back and forth in your room as you analysed its every minute detail to the best of your abilities. "you get letters from the other campers all the time."

"I already told you Luke. this handwriting isn't the same as any other letter I've gotten, so that means it's from someone who's never sent me a note before, and I need to know who it is."

you had recieved a myriad of letters ranging from 'I think you're pretty' to 'I would sacrifice my right arm just to get a hug from you' during your time here at camp. beyond being drop dead gorgeous, you were kind, always wearing a charming smile on your face, and having the ability to comfort people with your presence alone.

that (coupled with the facts that most kids here had some kind of parental baggage and your kindness definitely filled some kind of void) meant that you recieved many a words from not so secret admirers. you were sure that you knew the identities of the people who had given you sealed envelopes and tightly folded papers, but you were currently stumped.

you were startled out of your staring contest with the scribbled ink by the feeling of Lukes arms around your shoulders as he spoke. "I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually, now can you please come back to bed? you know that I can't nap if you're not with me."

you sighed, letting him lead you back to your bed so that he could rest before you two inevitable of the two of you needing to help around the camp occured. you stared up at the ceiling as he slowly started to dose off beside you, before you gasped and shot up, effectively spooking him out of a peaceful moment.

"it's Percy!" you shushed Luke before he had the chance to complain about your sudden exclamation or the fact that you weren't letting him get a wink of midday sleep. "I mean, he's just met me, and one of my friends probably told him some stuff about me–"

"it's not Percy." Luke deadpanned, pushing you down by the shoulder from the upright postpone you were sat in to make you lay back down, and wrapping his arm around your waist. you were shocked into silence, because although Luke was an affectionate friend, he had never cuddled you while he was still awake. he would always wake up and discovering that he had wrapped around you in his sleeping state, apologising sheepishly while retracting his limbs.

after a few moments of stunned silence, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at his statement. "and how do you know it's not him, huh?" he simply blew air from his nose, tightening his grip around your waist.

"because it was me, sweetheart."

now that shut you up fairly quickly, as you bit your lip to try to hinder the giddy smile that wanted to form on your features. you opened your mouth to speak again, only to be interrupted by Luke placing a small kiss on the back of your neck.

"we'll talk when we wake up, alright?" but you weren't having any of that. "okay... but, before you go to bed. how long have you liked me? is this actually the first letter you've sent? why wouldn't you just tell me, you idiot. obviously I like you too. I know you said some stuff that you like about me in the letter, but I want you to tell me about everything you like about me, like every feature, every trait-"

Luke chuckled, sporting a big grin as you spoke. he would tell you all of that and more, he would do anything you asked of him, just as long as he got to hold you in his arms just like this.

[runespoor7]

I mean obviously I’m am going to ask you about chengxian, for the ask meme

What made you ship it?

It was the most interesting relationship in the book. I'm a sucker for childhood friends with broken promises, for grief, for misunderstandings over loyalty and love, and for relationships whose resolution in canon is bittersweet.

It still took some time and effort before I started really shipping it. I was theoretically open to shipping it but I hadn't yet read fics that really sold me on it (this was in 2019, I think). Then as an experiment I put a WWX-inspired character in the setting I was GMing for the JC and JYL NPC stand-ins to have him to play off of. Turned out I did ship them.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

😬

*wide, helpless, expansive gesture*

It's never simple with them. It's always fraught. They love one another but they also resent one another. Hunting demonic cultivators is about WWX still maybe being alive. Maybe JC can bring himself to kill WWX this time, or maybe he can find a way to bring WWX back home and forgive him. WWX promises to be with JC but he ends up promising that he won't stay ("like my father served your father") but he didn't mean it with an end. the mess that is the fraughtness of WWX's liminal space when it comes to his social rank.

love hurts, what hurts is love.

the fact that the one 'leading' is WWX, not JC, going against the accepted social order. (tbh, if that wasn't the case, I probably wouldn't be into the ship.) it paints such a picture of WWX being so charismatic, and JC being so taken with him, that JC falls into being WWX's sidekick. no wonder YZY was awful about it.

JC keeping Chenqing like a mad dog and keeping Lotus Pier WWX-safe. I. god. JC rating WWX's attention >>>>>>>>>>>>> JC's self-respect every time, in every way. Amazing.

it's incredible to me how WWX asks JYL about love in a scene framed in a manner to make it subtextually point in the direction of LWJ (it's mdzs; the canon pair in mdzs is wgxn; there are no - explicit - love triangles in mdzs; and yet even WWX's original crush on LWJ is, uh. informed by JC and how WWX is with JC and the fact that LWJ is New and Not The Son of WWX's Benefactor. this is normal.), where it's apparent that WWX is scared of being in love because it changes how you act, it's a limit, it's a cage, you're limiting yourself for someone else - and then WWX does something for JC that is everything he was scared of.

and it does ruin him! it's terrible! so his romance with LWJ is everything his feelings for JC weren't. He's not the one doing the protecting. LWJ doesn't question him. There are no expectations of anything, no discussions of the future, no thoughts of society. LWJ is just such a comfort, just a good thing WWX gets because he wants it. Also LWJ isn't emotionally taxing af (this is a big one). (WWX kinda ends up YZY-ing himself at the end of the book but I'm not thinking about that.)

WWX's utter toxicity toward JC. not a iota of respect for either JC or JC's boundaries to be found, except when convenient for WWX.

they both really, really believe that WWX is better than JC in every way. it's very cool

look. i'm a simple person. arrogant genius jerk/grumpy dutiful tsundere otp.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I love the joke that chengxian isn't incest but both of them wish it were, but I think the only time one of them wished they were brothers was JC when he decided to sacrifice himself for WWX and he was lying in bed making morbid jokes. At least sacrificing yourself for your brother who is the better cultivator and can lead the sect would be simple. Forgivable. Good.

I also think they might grow to think of one another as brothers at some point post-canon, that's a sort of reconciliation that might happen, but to me it's key that during canon they don't know what they are to one another, they just know they're scarily, terrifyingly important, and there's no word for what they are to one another.

JC refused shixiong-shidi (in a shocking reversal of their normal dynamic, I think he forgot he did that and spent roughly two decades feeling insecure and weird that WWX doesn't call him shidi) and they can be nothing else, socially speaking. The love that dare not speak its name, if you would. And at that same time post-canon they could also decide that what they're to each other is that WWX used to be in love with JC, and maybe JC still is, and they're not brothers. Or maybe both! The point is, the definition of their relationship is uncharted waters and they never thought of each other as 'brothers' (much less called each other that).

2) WWX is incredibly bitter and resentful of giving his core to JC and that colors everything he thinks and says about JC afterwards, including after he's returned to life. Basically, he gave, and gave, and gave, and felt there was no gratitude, and he's unable to live the life he wanted, unable to reap the promises life made him, and JC isn't any more agreeable or tractable than before (less so, in fact!). It's not fair.

[sammyluvr]

ruby girlfriend headcanons

cw : gn!reader, fluff, i'm a freak about her (i'm in love), soft ruby, blood mention, 1.3K words. requested !

summary : she's the cutest and you should kiss her

✶.◟ she is soooo sassy and it’s the cutest and funniest ever

✶.◟ like i think she reallyyyy likes making you laugh and smile because of all those stupid little quips she makes

✶.◟ she pretends to be smug about it probably, but honestly she’s just really pleased with herself that she made you laugh

✶.◟ and genuinely takes note of the kind of things that make you laugh the most at and will recreate similar jokes/bits and check if you still found it funny

✶.◟ because she’s actually a loser!!! suchhh a huge losergirl when she’s in love and it’s genuinely so adorable

✶.◟ because she absolutely will pretend to be all cocky and confident with you

✶.◟ and she definitely just is sometimes, like she’s always smirking if she can make you flustered

✶.◟ but secretly she’s like oh my god they’re so cute and i’m super in love

✶.◟ and if you ask me she’s just a silly! a silly and she really really likes to kiss you so you’d better give her lots and lots of kisses

✶.◟ she will never ever admit it but she’s a sucker for hand holding

✶.◟ kissing is definitely her favorite though, just kiss her everywhere all the time and she’ll be satisfied

✶.◟ she really loves it when you kiss her wrists (and obviously she’ll let you drink her blood from there as well!)

✶.◟ but she really just cannot get enough of the feeling of your lips on hers. she’ll literally kiss you for hours

✶.◟ if it keeps you with her, she’s willing to sacrifice a lot actually, and that does include her blood if you want it too

✶.◟ she’s actually really very observant of you and your habits and your likes and dislikes and personality quirks and pretty much everything

✶.◟ and she’s definitely not loud about that, but it shows if she randomly mentions it or the situations calls for her to remember

✶.◟ she might act sort of tough and matter of fact outwardly sometimes; she doesn’t always talk all that soft or sweet

✶.◟ but she’s pretty gentle with you, using soft hands and lips (that turn a little desperate and hungry at times. lots of times probably lol)

✶.◟ maybe unpopular opinion but i envision her as a puppy girlfriend sometimes

✶.◟ yes she can be frowny and brooding in the corner with her black leather jacket and her arms crossed over her chest

✶.◟ she can be quiet and grumpy like a pretty black cat, but she’s probably brooding in the corner because she’s feeling protective of you

✶.◟ so she’s like an angry puppy growling at whoever threatened you . and then she kills them <33

✶.◟ her love language is probably killing people for you and then kissing bloody about it <3

✶.◟ and like i think she will pout at you when you don’t give her what she wants and then realize and be like >:( no i’m in charge go buy my more french fries

✶.◟ and you’ll totally buy her more french fries but mostly because she’s super adorable when she gets demanding

✶.◟ i also see her getting playful! she teases you and is sort of annoying by dragging you around or joking around in sort of serious situations

✶.◟ just envision walking down the street with her, casually holding her hand and she thinks of something sort of stupid to say

✶.◟ so she stops you by grabbing your intertwined hands with her free one and pulling on you as she leans forward and up to catch your attention

✶.◟ she’s got big eyes, clearly pretending to be innocent, but you see that sparkle of mischief and raise an eyebrow at her

✶.◟ and she’ll just start blabbing about something completely irrelevant and probably unserious and silly just because it’ll both annoy and endear you lol

✶.◟ but when you tug her along, she follows willingly, forgetting that she was also annoying you by stopping you in the middle of your tracks

✶.◟ she just keeps talking because now she’s invested in the topic and because you’re actually listening

✶.◟ you listen to her, and she loves you for it; not too many people are very keen on hearing her out, but you do

✶.◟ so that means she’ll talk to you forever and ever and sometimes she lets too much slip and she wonders if she should stop

✶.◟ but she always decides against it because you have her wrapped around your finger (not that she’d ever admit it)

✶.◟ and that’s fine because that just means you’re even; she definitely has you wrapped around her finger just the same

✶.◟ she definitely does enjoy having some sort of feeling of power over you, even if it’s subtle

✶.◟ like you probably just should tell her that she’s always right and agree with everything she says because why would you even question such a pretty face and cute smile

✶.◟ she actually can be pretty smiley around you hehe. once against she’s actually really adorable and a total dork

✶.◟ request asked what she’d like doing with you and um i think she likes staring at you :)

✶.◟ and as previously mentioned she likes kissing you too like a lot a lot for sure

✶.◟ do not underestimate her cuddlebug potential. but like in the way that she’s trying to get in your skin and live there like the prettiest parasite ever

✶.◟ or she wants you to cuddle her like that; she will let you in don’t worry but if the next best thing is drinking her blood you can do that too

✶.◟ she also likes going on dates where you order french fries with both of your meals and then she eats all of yours <3

✶.◟ she really likes it when you play with her hair but not if she’s about to go out

✶.◟ don’t ruffle her hair though she’ll bite your hand off probably (she’s blushing secretly but she’ll still bite your hand off)

✶.◟ um she’s a biter and she wants you to bite her too. her other love language is biting

✶.◟ and also give her attention and love alllll the time, be the one who tells her that she’s awesome and better than all those sons of bitches!

✶.◟ she knows it already but it’s special when you say it because she loves you

✶.◟ mmm and she loves to compliment you too she’s always calling you pretty or handsome or whatever makes you most flustered

✶.◟ and her hands are cold all of the time so make sure you hold them and rub them to warm them up and put them in your pockets

✶.◟ ugh imagine standing in the cold with her and she’s so chilly (pretend demons feel things idk bro)

✶.◟ and so you spin her around to face you and you tug her close and tuck both of her hands in the pockets of your jackets

✶.◟ and she’s grumpy about it like babe you don’t have to treat me like a baby i’m not five i’m a hundreds of years old demon and former witch >:(

✶.◟ but she actually means don’t stop you should kiss me now

✶.◟ but she also likes to be the one to take care of you and push you around to her liking

✶.◟ puts her sweet little hands on your back to push you across the room or guide you down the hallway

✶.◟ and she’s very protective of you; recall to her killing people for you <3

✶.◟ will absolutely intimidate the waiter or cashier who didn’t give you the exact right order

✶.◟ they asked for extra ketchup >:(

✶.◟ you probably only ordered extra ketchup for her to use on her fries because she uses so damn much to be honest

✶.◟ basically she’s a cutie patootie and you should kiss her a lot for sure

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

Semifinal 1: Fei Du vs Jiang Cheng

Semifinal 1 is between Fei Du (shixiong: Luo Wenzhou) from Mo Du vs Jiang Cheng (shixiong: Wei Wuxian) from Mo Dao Zu Shi

Propaganda under the cut

Fei Du:

Fei Du: evidence? The entirety of Mo Du. His shixiong is is Luo Wenzhou, a dude with an eight-pack and parents who love him and love fei du as well, and a dude whom fei du is willing to not die/consider the future with, and consider himself not a monster to be with. Fei Du says shixiong to Luo Wenzhou so flirtatiously that they both stop and stare. Luo Wenzhou gets him birthday cake, a video game when he was small and a promise. (Also, they are cat parents)

Jiang Cheng:

Clinged to WWX constantly for 7+ years, wanted to have WWX as his right hand man forever after becoming sect leader, cried after WWX left, cried when he discovered what WWX sacrificed for him, was TORN APART when it got explained to him that if they were more outwardly close knit, WWX might not have died

PROPAGANDA!! to start, i'm still very bitter about how fairy lost the sentient animal poll and i want to win this badly. very very badly. current stats are 50.6 in favour of jc but that's too less of a gap for me. jc should be winning this by a landslide, y'all hear me? anyways. starting with a class act, like the clown i am->

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a few links ( because i'm chengxian trash, as always and i'd love if poll-guy could copy paste them on the og post): one, two, three, four (gif), five, six, seven (gif), eight (thoughts on different wavelengths), the absolute circles of them saving each other, the fucking golden core reveal scene. golden scene reveal part 2, jiang cheng will always forgive wei wuxian

to start with. jiang cheng is literally the picture of "i knew from the moment i met you that i'd spend a lifetime forgiving you".

the earliest dynamic of jiang cheng and wei wuxian is jiang cheng giving away his dogs (the only gift his father has ever given him, btw) because wei wuxian is scared of the dogs. tis only the start of it.

his father very obviously prefers his shixiong over him, his mother berates him for not being as good as wei wuxian and tells him his inheritance is in danger, and his sister (in my opinion) has more care for him (visibly. maybe jiang yanli doesn't show it because jc is an emotionally complicated purple grape, maybe because jc doesn't need it, or wei wuxian is traumatised but that's my opinion). but still. still. Jiang Cheng loves Wei Wuxian. so much. jealousy is like. the most tame response i can think of. and jiang cheng is proud of wei wuxian, okay? he'd believe his big brother if he'd said anything. want proof? well, here you go-> link

to paraphrase the link:

Jiang Cheng had just lost his family, his home, and his very golden core, and his older brother - his brilliant older brother who could fix anything, who could sneak wine into Cloud Recesses and defeat an ancient turtle nearly-god and make Jiang Cheng share a smile when Jiang Cheng’s mother was disappointed and furious at both of them - His big brother smiled and said, “I can fix this.”And Jiang Cheng believed him then, and believed him three months later when Wei Wuxian crawled out of the Burial Mounds (just the second miracle in three months), and believed him every day of the next seventeen(?) years until the pieces were shoved into place for him to see.

also. the circle these two go in protecting each other. (gif set by @sandushengshou), the 'if one of us is to die, then, i beg, let it be me' that they both do for one another in a seemingly neverending loop of sacrifice. via this post a la my lovely @backtoyunmeng

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jiang cheng is a cannonically ruined woman archetype, justified via the countless posts you'll get in the top posts of jiang cheng tag. he keeps chenqing, wwx's flute in perfect condition even when he hates wei wuxian, even when wwx, if only indirectly, has a part in jiang yanli's murder and oof okay someone pointed out to him that he's known to have killed wei wuxian and he almost cries. he absolutely believes, with his whole heart, that wei wuxian lives even when the world is sure he doesnt. and it always read to me like, i'd know if he was dead. he's a part of my soul, so i'd know if he was dead. he can't be dead.

this is getting too long, so, to sum up, some absolute poetry by @jiangchengsjawline

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#JC On The Other Hand Has His Entire Life Shaped By His Shixiong And Ended Up Cast As The Ruined Woman By The End

#jiang cheng though. wasn't able to fuck his shixiong but his shixiong definitely fucked with him

#hello?? the answer is Jiang cheng pls#he's the shixiongfucker or all shixiong fucker you wish you could be as pathetically in love with your shixiong as he is#chengxian

#i do not go here (chengxian) but the propaganda is incredibly correct they are insane abt each other#also sorry jiang cheng ik you're suffering but they are so funny to me#neway VOTE JIANG CHENG FOR CLEAR SKIN

#look I rarely go here#(here being chengxian)#but by GOD their lvoe compels me#they’re tragic and doomed and they love each other without knowing how to say it in words the other would understand#or in words at all because communication??? we don’t know her???

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he didn't even think about sacrificing himself, and consequently his entire bloodline, his sect, pretty much everything that depends on him for his shixiong??????????

is this not convincing->

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#had to vote jc though i have more feelings about chengxian#i think jc should have a huge gege kink

#like. jiang cheng should win the entire tournament hands down period

[sillygoofyqueer]

(@weirdocat83's tags to this post) LUNA. YOU HAVE SUMMONED ME. FGRGGRGHOHGROHGROGHROGH LET'S DO THIS.

Okay, so, I don't think it's going to be a reincarnation au in a sense, but, uh, the spirits of the swords search for what could be classed as a 'replacement' for their divine wielders? So, take Xin Mo for example. His previous wielder could be labelled as a god of war, one who craved bloodshed and spent most of their time on the battlefield - so, Xin Mo's spirit naturally searched for a more hostile soul that was similar to the god's soul, because it was easier for the spirit to...bond? with the soul compared to if the spirit had to edit itself to bond with a more peaceful soul. It found the link with Binghe's (Bingge's?) soul because the guy just wanted to be powerful, and it's easiest to gain power through bloodshed - meaning that Xin Mo's spirit could probably "edit" certain parts of Binghe to fit its basic needs (a lot less predatory than in canon), and then "edit" certain parts of itself so that the bond was less hard to maintain. This would be things like recognising and becoming more calm and less bloodthirsty than it can afford to be due to the fact that Binghe is likely to only be on the battlefield if it's necessary for power - unlike the divine wielder, who had battled for entertainment (not to say that Binghe doesn't revel in a good battle, whether due to Xin Mo's influence or just general satisfaction). I feel like the gods do still exist in the divine realm, but they're a lot quieter and aren't really worshipped by the vast majority anymore (think how secularisation has affected modern society), some even disappearing because they simply didn't have enough worshippers or drive to sustain themselves after the purging of their temples - their lives, if you will. Spiritual weapons still exist in the modern times (this is a modern au, in a sense), still wielded by only a choice few (often granting them immortality as long as they held a strong bond), so people know that gods existed at one point, but most believe that all gods did die in the purging. Obviously, part of why the Three Swords are so unique in their legend is because they require a sacrifice in order to be wielded (connected to how their gods had such strong bonds with their swords that they practically sealed themselves until they could find a worthy replacement), whereas most spiritual weapons merely require respect and devotion because their bonds weren't as wholly consuming as the Three Swords' - if that makes sense? Wei Wuxian's sword will be Suibian, I think. Mainly because there is always a lot of emphasis on Chenqing and, don't get me wrong, I love that little fuckin' flute but Suibian my beloved sword. We don't quite know how sword spirits work in MDZS, so I wanna give them some spotlight in this AU! They deserve it!! Suibian definitely had the most protective/familial bond with her previous owner and (I'm not going to blab about the circumstances or anything of Wei Wuxian finding Suibian but) when she hears such a desperate cry for help from what is practically a teen who obviously has no other support, she can't help it! She's always been the most fair of the Three Swords, but she's still picky when it comes to her owner - they must have good, honest intentions to wield her, and nobody ever does (there's always, even a subconscious, ulterior motive outside of protection. Well, kind of). It's hard to yap about without spilling about Wei Wuxian because I do want to write this and I'm not one to drop secrets before I've even got a first chapter drafted. I would yap about the red/black interactions but this post is already pretty big so- PLEASE ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS, IT'S HELPING ME WORLD BUILD AND I AM A FAN OF TALKING ABOUT MY BRAIN WORMS!!

[naivegh0st]

Okay so this was originally going to be a reblog to this post but I had more to say than I thought I did and it got too long and rambly to be a reblog so here are my Frederica interpretations/headcanons and I know we don't have much to go off of but she is a whole character in my head.

So for me a big thing about Frederica is that I think she's very good at what she does like at being a Knight but not good enough for the Gunnhildr standards and she internalised that so hard. I just think the Gunnhildr's have impossibly high standards for their heirs because of how prestigious they are as a family in Mondstadt. (They where the first family to follow and be blessed by Barbatos and fought alongside him to promote him to Anemo Archon, like yeah there are other important families in Mondstadt but they are the ones). And like if you were to ask anyone in the knights what they thought of Frederica they'd only have good things to say, but to Frederica she's kind of a bit of a failure because like she didn't get one of the four winds titles, she "lost" to Varka - someone who as far as we know isn't from any important family- and not only that but she didn't get a vision. And we know that her position in the knights has "long surpassed any ordinary Captain" yet she chooses to stay as a Commander, possibly because she kind of feels there's no point as she wasn't deemed to have the potential to lead and she's like "Well maybe I can just be an amazing field knight" and maybe maybe maybe if she keeps throwing herself on the front lines in defence of Mondstadt she'll be recognised by the gods.

And then while still quite young she meets Seamus and they fall in love and get married and have kids (maybe because they want to or maybe because she's a Gunnhildr so she must produce an heir, or maybe a bit of both) and then she has this kid and its like this chance to be a good Gunnhildr again, by producing this amazing heir, and also she probably doesn't want her kid to feel how she felt, like she's good but not enough to be a Gunnhildr, so she's just so determined to make this kid into the ideal Gunnhildr, at the sacrifice of being a good mother. And I think this would cause her to clash with Seamus, who's a bit taken aback by how authoritarian and demanding she is of this kid, and put strain on their relationship, like they're having frequent arguments about how they should parent Jean. And then they have Barbara and when she's old enough Frederica starts doing the same to her as she did to Jean, but Barbara didn't take to it as well and maybe Frederica kind of sees herself in that because even though Barbara's not good now, she could train her whole life and improve, but she'd never be a Jean, or a Diluc or a Varka. And I think seeing Barbara struggle kind of reignites her whole fear of failing to be a Gunnhildr and she ups both of their training and that's what makes Seamus realise that there is no getting through to her, that he's been asking and asking and asking her to tone it back for years and she had, in little ways, but it takes only one thing to go slightly wrong and now all those conversations and arguments may as well not have happened and so he just gives up on trying to get through to her and just files for a divorce, with the aim to at least get Barbara away from Frederica as it's kind of too late for Jean at this point.

And this leaves Frederica with a lot of unwanted attention/speculation as I reckon her and Seamus where seen as like The Ideal Couple so for them to divorce would have people speculating (especially as there's fuck all else to do in Mondstadt). And obviously she's just been divorced which I don't think she'd take too well bc I think she really did love Seamus and despite feeling she's not good enough she's still a Gunnhildr, she's still proud, she's still in control and getting divorced would obviously be a jab at that pride and a stripping away of her control of the situation. And I think all of this would give her a kind of sunk cost fallacy like view of Jean's success, like she's lost so much because of how she chose to raise Jean and instead of self reflecting and being like "huh maybe I did something bad" she just sees the consequences as the price she had to pay for the prize of Jean's success. And so she just really zeroes in on making Jean a good Knight and in doing so destroys their already fragile relationship (I think it would especially have this effect as I always headcanoned Jean to be abt 12-13ish when her parents divorced which is a really emotionally volatile age anyway, nevermind having your parents divorce and your sister taken away and then the parent you're left with is just treating you even worse and you just don't really get why any of this is happening but all you do know is you're with your mum now and you're feeling the worst you ever have). And then there's just the two of them in this massive house and they're both just really upset but don't have the relationship to talk about it and they just fall into this kind of cycle where Frederica is upset and lets it alter her treatment of Jean, who then gets more upset and Frederica sees this and is like "why does my daughter hate me doesn't she see all that I've lost for her" and then gets more upset and so on and so forth. I do think they're arguing a lot around this time until Jean gets older and kind of mellows out and just gives up on arguing back because it gets her nowhere and Frederica's like "Finally, all my shouting and demanding and strictness and probably a handful of instances of physical abuse have payed off and worked and now my daughter is great again. And look! She just got her Lion of The South title I must be doing such a good job."

And I think she views how she raised Jean as necessary to make her into the knight she is, but when Jean moves out she's kind of like "huh, I have absolutely no friends or family, only the vague respect of random civilians." And only then does she try to amend her relationship with her daughters (because only then does she realise she doesn't really have one, I think she viewed motherhood as something that would just happen, that one day Jean and Barbara would just kind of accept how she raised them and love her anyway), but she can't exactly just go and talk to them because they never really had a relationship like that in the first place, so she just kind of sends gifts that leave especially Jean really conflicted to receive.

[moonspirit]

Hello Moon,

So we have talked about how Armin in Glassess is a massive turn-on for Annie,

But maybe one day, she is just milling about in his office and decides to put on his glasses just for fun; he walks in and is just left stunned.

“Welcome back Mr. Arlert,” Annie says in a seductive voice

Without so much as a beat, he yells for Connie to cancel all his appointments and that he is not to be disturbed under any circumstances.

With that done he closes and locks his office doors and proceed to shut the windows as well.

Not 5 minutes later, Annie’s clothing lays on the floor and they are going at it like rabbits, Armin insisting she keep the glasses on even though she can’t see a danm thing

Needless to say Annie in glasses is a major turn on for Armin.

Hello again :3!

But oh my fucking god 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[N/SFW]

It's a very hot summer day. Annie is bored out of her mind in Armin's office - he went to that meeting an hour ago and still isn't back yet. Trying to kill time, she spots both his glasses and his discarded suit jacket and decides to try them on. See, Armin always wears this very dignified and professional persona when he's in public as an Ambassador - even after a year of their duties as political figureheads, she still marvels at the switch he makes from Serious Diplomat before an audience to Silly Goofy Boy when they're alone.

So, in a moment of playfulness, she shrugs on his suit jacket (obviously too big for her) and pretends she's Mr. Ambassador.

"Yes, yes, I'll take it into consideration," She whispers in an imitation of his voice to the empty room. "The issue is that the problem cannot be dragged on too long because blah blah blah blah blah."

(For a brief second she freezes up because this is embarrassing and stupid as hell, but ...um... it's actually.. kinda... fun?)

Continuing, Annie paces the room, frowning - an excellent imitation of Armin when he's pondering something serious and terribly boring - and nods slowly at the floor. "I've got a plan," She says, copying his tone of voice. "We should just jump off the cliff and then nobody will be able to say we didn't sacrifice anything."

She pauses for a giggle before clearing her throat, composing herself.

"What's that? I've got a meeting scheduled at five? Oh well... let's see, what's the time now..." She lifts up her arm, pretending to hold a pocketwatch. The sunlight streaming into the room, however, makes the ring on her finger glimmer, and she remembers something she'd heard Armin tell their foreign secretary two weeks ago, and begins to furiously blush. "I'm not sure about that... I-I have plans with my f-fiancée at five... so..."

(It's momentarily too much and Annie breaks down, unable to stop blushing. Oh god she IS actually engaged, FUCK, when is she going to finally get used to this?!)

(but then she recovers yet again because by GOD, playing Armin is So mUch of FUCKING FUN!)

Her next act is to pick up a pile of papers from his desk and lean on the edge, half sitting, the way he does sometimes when he's reviewing some information. Unfortunately, she can't really copy it down pat - she's too short to half-sit, so she proceeds to just hop on and let her feet dangle, pretending to flip through the boring-ass papers.

And then she puts on his glasses.

"Hmmm, hmmm, yes..." She murmurs seriously, slipping the glasses down her nose to peer at the print. "These are very well prepared, but I would suggest tweaking this portion a bit--"

The door opens, and Annie freezes.

Armin enters, looking exhausted from the heat and the long meeting, his sleeves rolled up and tie slightly undone.

And then it's his turn to freeze, staring at her, sitting on his desk, feet hanging cutely, his jacket over her shoulders nearly drowning her frame, his papers in her hold, his glasses on her nose.

His mind wastes no time commanding his brain: burn this image in your head, burn this image in your head, burn this image in your head-

(also um- start pumping blood downward-)

What ensues is them, indeed fucking right there on his desk until her (his) glasses fog up and slip off her face entirely and Armin decides it's actually a very good idea to not wear his glasses ever and instead leave them lying about in her vicinity.

[orphiclovers]

Despite my jokes that Secretive Plotter watches streams all day while pining and doesn't talk to anyone other than himself, he...does actually do a lot off-screen and has a pretty wide social circle, it just has very little overlap with Kim Dokja's.

For example, he's pretty chummy with the Wenny King here. WK talks to the Secretive Plotter in a very friendly way, says "why didn't you just ask us for help" and freely speculates on SP's feelings and motivations. It sounds like he's trying to ingratiate himself and get on SP's good side actually - lots of lowkey sucking up. "I wanted to see what kind of person would even YOU would like/sacrifice fingers for" "no matter your identity" - as if he's obviously a big deal. Grumbling and laughing - it's giving a coworker who tries way too hard to be friendly to get a promotion.

SP is sort of cold and standoffish but that's not out of the ordinary. He still responds so he can't be that bothered by the overfamiliarity.

Then, he's also passing notes with Metatron. Metatron doesn't seem to like him a lot but he's relying on him for information about the future - they have some sort of deal here and probably meet regularly.

It's not clear if they've talked before but Sakyamuni knows his identity and takes his actions into account for his plans. Actually, and this is really funny, Sakyamuni sicced the hounds on SP once, so maybe they have some sort of beef.

These two are one scene apart. Coincidence? ...Maybe.

So, he talks to people not from N'gai forest, they're just the highest of the higher ups - the Wenny King, current leader of Eden Metatron and possiblt owner of reincarnation island Sakyamuni - probably because they know about the 'end' before anyone else (even if they're trying to get even more out of SP, as in Metatron's case) and are also uhh powerful enough to survive an encounter with an Outer God.

Mostly they interact for shady deals and plots with hidden motives on all sides, but for beings as powerful as them I think that's par for course. Doesn't mean they're not friendly to each other sometimes, even if they're not 'friends'.

Also, all Outer Gods know of him generally, like Devourer of Dreams who tells Kim Dokja info about him for the first time. He has a lot of faith in SP and tells Kim Dokja to trust him.

Normal incarnations like the Recorders of Fear did an interview (??) with SP once, no idea how they arranged it, maybe he was bored that day. They did not make it out of it in one piece because Secretive Plotter's presence drove them crazy.

So! That's a short look in all the people SP talks to that aren't widely discussed. Maybe I've forgotten some, lmk. He's not as much of a hermit as it seems lol.

[ecoterrorist-katara]

hello hello! can i just say, i love your takes so much. it feels like you’ve read my mind on how katara would actually react in certain situations. currently myself, im rewriting the structure of the show in a way that makes more sense (aka, getting rid of kataang altogether and focusing on actual growth for each character including aang!) and im struggling a bit on aang actually!

we know how brykke basically stunted aang’s growth because of their weirdness. but what if aang never had a crush on katara? what if he sees katara as the big sister he always wanted instead, making their relationship more wholesome than weird? i think he’s such a centralized character, but when i develop the others beyond the show, aang feels like he’s left behind.

maybe that’s part of it too! he is a boy out of time, and now more of a concept than a person as far as anyone else outside of his immediate group knows. in this au where i intend to age everyone up, i’m just curious to see what kind of man aang would grow up into if his motivations for katara was never there. i see him as trying to hold onto his lost childhood and then having to come to terms with the fact he can’t. but i’d love to hear your thoughts. who is aang outside of that? his journey has the opportunity to be so fascinating, but brykke kind of said hey! let’s not get into that! let’s make him a creepy god boy who gets whatever he wants!

(also to note, this version of aang is meant to be with azula and while i love the meta ive seen about taang i do personally hc her as a lesbian but i do like them but yeah!)

also sorry if this is too rambly i’m just very excited!

hi! This is such a nice message, and please never apologize for rambling! My blog is a safe space for all ramblers. Your fic sounds like a very exciting project!

I definitely agree with you that he’d try to hold onto his childhood & have a hard time with his grief; coming to terms with the depth of his loss would be an exceptionally interesting arc. His people were victims of genocide: his culture and his loved ones were brutally murdered. Nobody can replace that community, not even his chosen family of the Gaang, and certainly not a romantic partner.

But Aang certainly is somebody outside of all that tragedy too. I think his cheerfulness and optimism, his playfulness, his resilience, his reluctance to assume responsibility, and his prodigiousness are all important facets of his personality.

Here's my piping hot take: Aang is James Potter with a more tragic backstory and less of a cruel streak. Think about it: mischievous, funny, adventurous, brave, enjoys attention, popular, devoted to friends, prodigious, entitled when it comes to love interests, morally inflexible, dedicated to Good, can be too arrogant to recognize his own faults. We hear that James became a pretty decent guy, so there's plenty of potential for growth for Aang, especially if he doesn't get his forever girl at age twelve.

Aang has a big heart and stringent morals, but is still a bit of a trickster. Not in a malicious way, but in a “I have a zest for life way” that gives him a little bit of an edge beyond just being a sunshine boy. You can see this even in ep 1, when he sacrifices himself so that the village would be left alone, only to haul ass out of the Fire Nation ship as soon as they’re safe. You can also see it in The Great Divide, where he straight up just fabricates history lmao. Lying is not an issue for him at all, which indicates it’s not really part of his moral code.

On the other hand, he obviously feels very strongly about taking life, which indicates a black and white approach towards morality that is not uncommon in kids. I could see an older, more mature Aang being led to question his own approach to morality, particularly by someone like Zuko, who probably finds violence a lot more palatable than lying. I think there are very interesting cultural differences that can be explored here, which doesn’t necessarily mean that Aang will change his opinions, only that he’ll have greater respect for how other cultures see right and wrong, and that he can keep Air Nomad culture alive without taking on the burden of being the manifestation of that culture. He has the innate impulse to try to see the best in people, which is at odds with his black and white morals sometimes. Related to that, he really struggles with morally grey characteristics in his friends. I think that if he had a fleshed out opportunity to properly disagree with his friends, he may not necessarily change his own mind, but he might grow to value his friends' freedom of choice over imposing his own values on them, since one of the cornerstones of Air Nomad philosophy is apparently about freedom. I think his pacifist voice is an important contribution to their ragtag group of overpowered pre-teens and teens and I love it when that aspect is explored in fics.

I've seen some really good depictions of Aang-not-obsessed-with-Katara in fanfiction (Southern Lights has my favourite one; in fact it's my fave characterization of basically everyone except for Mai). I see most of his flaws as things he can grow out of, but only if he encounters difficult situations and learns to grow. Have fun with your fic, and please do share in any relevant tags once you start posting!

[ahotpileofs-it]

I have a shit ton of ideas for tanaka cause hes my favorite hamster in funger

Tbh these ideas kinda give him the plot armour funger never gave for our shonen anime protagonist so if you don't like that, feel free to scroll past

What would Tanaka be like as a playable character?

Here are my ideas:

Since he is a latent soul, he can get the skill trees of others without killing them (of course it will take longer to obtain them rather than killing them, though).

This mechanic will basically be asking others to teach you how to do their stuff TM

So because of this there will be a 'friendship' system for Tanaka. (Canonically, Tanaka won't see this as friendship, tough guy since four and all,... but my fanon heart says that yes he will. I will force Tanaka to be emotionally vulnerable for my fanon heart, and I say this as a threat.)

Some characters are more unwilling to share their skills with Tanaka, depends on persuasion and first impressions (based on what dialogue you choose and how good you are at observe).

I think a special case would be Daän as I theorize that Tanaka asking for his knowledge and skills would remind his relationship of himself and Eihner Von Dutch... probably if you play as Tanaka on a run he would be the first person willing to bring him under his wing, so to speak.

You can probably gain multiple skills from others at once, but for characters that we know do not like each other, if they do realize that Tanaka is also mentored by the guy they don't like, they'll stop teaching him and his persuasion won't work as well on them. Also 'friendship' decreases with them. Sometimes both characters pull out which would be a great loss. (Like anyone with pav, karin with the magicians and daan, if you attempt to learn from caligura in front of any contestant, etc.)

Really big point here: we know that Tanaka is unprepared for the Termina festival, thus being the weakest contestants in the beginning. You'll have the most opportunities for death playing as his character, especially so on harder modes, and that can easily end your run.

Also why Tanaka is the hardest character to play as, because you need to stay alive (which WILL be hard, as both mind, body, and hp are significantly lower. Remember, unprepared hamster not ready for the fears of the jungle) for long enough to be able to start learning from others (would think that this studying starts at day 2, or day 1, which if I remember are the days with the most amount of events that Tanaka could die).

I would like to think that him learning from Marcoh would always be canon, even in any multiverse. He really needs the hp boost.

As you learn more and more, these can be things that naturally give Tanaka increase in body, mind, hp, and any other stats. You can still get these stats from items though.

Because Tanaka never experienced something like termina before, his mind stat is irreversibly capped less higher than other contestants. I think that could be a great way for the game to signify that Tanaka is really traumatized by these events. And also went a bit mad for his late meeting lol.

I really think we should bring back "handsome rugged looks" skill for Tanaka. It would be really funny if he were to be the only contestant that could seduce. Will also increase affinity with Sylvian.

With this "rugged handsome looks" skill your persuasion would be improved, and you can make certain enemies skip their turn using that.

Dialogue would probably be like "... is shocked at your vulgar display." I think the moonscorched villagers were raised in pseudo-christianity where they probably said sex isn't ok and the only exception is for Sylvian cultist/sacrifices for sylvian... and I believe in my heart that this skill is obviously not for that god. (a/n: considering that funger has shown rape, I don't think that this would be realistic... probably still effective, but not THAT effective).

Would think that enemies like the Sylvian trooper would either be unfazed or say some flirty stuff idk (skill won't work)

Also! I really like the extra coin toss skill that other folks think would happen with non npc! Tanaka. Really neat.

Speaking of persuasion, Tanaka would have more effective persuauion than other because he is a salaryman. It's basically his job.

On the 'friendship' system, based on different friendship stats you will get different b endings as what your skills are are directly affected by who teaches you. I would also like to think that once Tanaka's latent soul 'awakens', he won't be willing to go back to his old job with new skills he isn't going to use. (a/n: this is where the op part kicks in. Realistically, his b ending would just be the same: only how fast you defeat Termina and if you did succeed would be affected. Still, I like dreaming for my favourite boy to be happy for once. And leave his family cause they really were not good to him, even though they are miles better than other families, they still suck).

When one of the contestants that teaches him moonscorches, if you encounter them he won't fight them, no matter what you do. He will never fight the person that helped him from the ground up. He can never bite the hand that feeds, even if the hand tries to choke him. And that is written in his stubbon nature. (a/n : he was raised to NEVER reky on others, and even if learning from others DO go against this pesson, it will become his character arc to depend on someone else to be stronger. However, I do think canon!Tanaka does still have some self-preservation, and in this case canon Tanaka would probably prioritize his life over morals like this. But my fanon heart is a sobbing girl that likes to think that it's favourite characters would rather kill themselves than kill their friends, and honestly it needs more angst to feed from).

And this part is REALLY, REALLY plot-armoury and really not canon, but in my heart, and even my head, they both agree that Tanaka's b-ending (in my ideas) wouod be the most canon b-ending, as other contestants 'live on' through Tanaka. He carries their memories, and skills, and he uses them to fight Per'kele.

Note: I still like the idea that the logic god ending is canon and what would happen in the 3rd installment, though.

This is the end to my ramblings, sorry for any grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, etc. English is not my first language. Tahnks for reading this far, to this long-ass tumblr post. I wonder if I can make this into a scarf.

[thedawningofthehour]

I stumbled upon this post again

Fai, please stop coming out with these kind of scenarios, they are depressing!!! And of the kind that I eat up!!!!

I would like to know more!

Many- if not all- leo's Sep AU's with Draxum have Draxum being abusive to varying degrees, that it would be interesting to see one with a Draxum who at least tries to love his son and be a good father and still fails.

Leo would be his usual self, wich annoy Draxum, and causes self estem issues, but that's okay, in the end they only have each other and Leo doesn't really have competition, until he does, because his Long Lost missing Brothers show up and it turns out Draxum likes them more, which would be much more mess up because this Leo doesn't really have connections outside of Draxum. It all be complicated and 'll Will eat it with fries.

I mean, I've never really thought out how he'd be raising each of the boys alone, really just all together or just with Donnie. Donnie, I feel like is such a perfect parallel to Draxum that it just makes sense for a separated AU Draxum to get Donnie in the divorce. Like, Splinter and Big Mama, you could make an argument that pairing them up with any of the other three would fit in a unique and interesting way, but Draxum was just meant to have Donnie. (also I love how all separated AUs are like "hokay, obviously three of the parents are Draxum, Big Mama, and Splinter, and the fourth is...fuck, I dunno, the Foot? Hueso?") Not that I don't like other separated AUs where Donnie is raised by someone else, (Little Prince my beloved) but Donatello Draxum is just poetic.

But, going along this line of thinking, with the 'doth Draxum actually raises Galois from a hatchling' fantasy set of events except it's not Donnie he ended up with but another turtle...hmm.

(I'm going to use Donnie and Galois interchangeably for this post deal with it)

Well, for starters, he'd be less protective over the other boys than he is with Gale right now. (honestly, he'd be less protective of Galois too if he'd raised him for sixteen years, but that's for another post) He still would be overprotective, and he'd do the same isolating thing with any of the other boys and hide their existence until he was ready to move forward with his domination plans. Mikey, he would still be more protective of, considering his innate mystical ability surpassing his potential as the warrior he was designed as. Not to the same extent as Donnie though, since most of Mikey's abilities would still require him to be present on the battlefield, verses Donnie who could fulfill his usefulness 100% from an underground bunker.

Raph and Leo, however, were made for war and their greatest talents still lie in combat. If he is to make use of them then there's no way of getting around it, they'll end up on the front lines at some point. Draxum would have to train them to be able to survive that, to fulfill the purposes they were made for-and he would have to steel himself for the very, very real possibility that they may die.

(That's kind of present in his current relationship with Raph, he's aware that this might end with Raph dying from a bullet meant for Gale. And if Raph betrays Draxum, or he's forced to choose between Raph and Galois, he needs to be able to sacrifice Raph without hesitation. He really doesn't want to start seeing Raph as his son and complicate matters-the revolution needs Galois more than it needs Raph or even Draxum, there can be no room for choice between them)

Another thing is that Draxum and Donnie have similar interests, so they'd naturally have a stronger friendship than the other three anyway. He'd still find things to bond over with Mikey and Raph, they're both pretty versatile and easy to get along with. With Leo? Maybe history? Medicine? Like, yes he could impart upon Leo all his medical knowledge, (oh my god, so many dissections would take place in that house) but I feel like Leo's joking nature would make Draxum feel like Leo isn't giving the subject the attention it deserves and it would always end in a screaming match. Not to mention Leo's sense of humor is exactly what irritates Draxum's ego most efficiently.

And then there's the areas Leo actually excels at verses his brothers, namely 1) his charisma and leadership skills, and 2) his strategic mind.

Leo is smart. Doth Draxum is learning to his great displeasure how smart, but a Draxum who raised Leo from birth would know he's smart. And it's not the simple fact that his child can be smarter than The Great Baron Draxum that bothers him, no. Galois is smarter than him in many ways, and Draxum delights in that. He loves having someone he can intellectually spar with, whose arguments actually pose a challenge, and he feels immense pride that his creation is so brilliant he's outpacing his creator.

It wouldn't be the same for Leo. Because while Leo absolutely could outsmart Draxum, (or is getting smart enough that he's getting close) it's in a way he absolutely doesn't understand. When Donnie wins an argument Draxum is practically giddy over it, because what Donnie's saying or doing makes sense. Yes, Draxum didn't think of it first, but now that's he laid out the situation this way he can totally see what he's talking about and wow his son's brilliance takes his breath away, he can't believe this is the same turtle he fed with a bottle and rocked to sleep after a nightmare-who, less than two decades ago, bit his hand, cried, and then bit his other hand to see if that one hurt too.

Leo's brain does not work the same way. When he outsmarts Draxum, he does it in such a convoluted, weird-ass way that Draxum is like "???!!!!!!!?? How????!!!" And this infuriates him. Baron Draxum is one of the world's greatest minds. He's hundreds of years old. He will not be bamboozled by his teenage son working off the seat of his pants!

And it just frustrates him immensely, that Leo can be so smart in a way Draxum absolutely cannot follow. He can accept that he's perceptive and good at talking to people, yes, Draxum knows his social skills are lacking and he's accepted that there's a piece of the puzzle there that most people have and he just lacks-but how in the world can Leo out-strategize him?

Oh yeah, there would absolutely be self-esteem issues when Draxum is mooning over how talented his other sons are, when he gets along with Leo's brothers so much easier than he does with the kid he's raised for over a decade. And Drax probably wouldn't realize it until Huginn and Muninn pointed it out or Leo had a breakdown in front of him. But he would make a point to tell Leo-in his own awkward, roundabout way-how talented he truly was, and he's sorry that he's never been able to understand him.

And since I know you like my bird, an Angel update: along with having to deal with this molt, (he looks scruffy, the casing his feathers have when they come in is super hot and itchy, and he's hungry and tired all the time because growing a bird's worth of feathers is a lot of work!) my sister was home sick yesterday. His sleeping cage is in her bedroom, but she was long asleep by the time he goes to bed. So we just locked him in his downstairs cage, which he pretty much just uses as a playground/eating area. He did a few confused peeps, but then he settled down and went to bed-a very good bird! He was thanked for his compliance and got extra pets today, and was so excited to get his room back. He had to do a full inspection of his cage first, but he's happily snoozing away now. We're very proud of him for not being a dick about it.

[hauntedgrin]

An unnecessarily thorough analysis of the Tarot imagery in Merlin Season One by an amateur tarot reader

(who is also a hopeless romantic and is currently very affected by the disaster that is BBC Merlin)

I started watching Merlin around two months ago. I fell in love with the show instantly, even if I technically haven't finished it yet because of time reasons (though I did spoil myself everything right to the ending and I’m devastated. Still trying to find courage to start season 5. But that’s beside the point)

There was something in the first season that caught my eye and hasn't let me go since. In fact, I was thinking about it today, went on a search for discussions about it, fully under the assumption that this is something the fandom noticed long beforehand is a well-known fact. To my endless surprise, I’ve found no mention! Nada! Not a single one. That won’t do, I thought. I have to share with the people. It's something that fueled my conviction in Merlin the Show being a love story between Merlin and Arthur (whatever the nature of that love may be, I love both the platonic and romantic interpretation equally, though this specific instance could be leaning towards romance somewhat more, I'll explain it in a second) and here it is.

It's this scene.

It is Merlin and Arthur, facing each other with two cups in between them, trying to decide who is going to drink the poison, sacrifice himself and save the other. And I thought Oh my god, tarot symbolism.

That's the card, the Two of Cups. The similarities are obvious (and, in my opinion, very intentional. I’d like to kiss whoever came up with this specific creative decision)

Slight disclaimer: Tarot reading can be very subjective, meanings shift depending on the reader and their perception of the card. I’ll try to be objective with the main aspects of the cards, but there is a lot of subjective opinions too. It’s okay if you disagree)

The main meanings of this card are partnerships, loving relationships, mutual attraction, unity, harmony and, you guessed it!, soulmates. It’s not hard to see why that card would have been chosen to represent them. I think that’s the most outright the show’s ever been about calling them soulmates, without hiding behind labels such as ‘each other’s destiny’ and ‘two sides of one coin’ as if those are any less gay. There is also themes of equality and becoming one, mutual respect and, in certain cases passion and sexual attraction (though it’s not a definition that is applicable in all cases, and can absolutely be ignored for platonic or asexual relationships, it’s still one of the main aspects, given that its represented by, you know, the big red head of a lion with wings right at the top of the card. Can’t exactly forget about it.)

Personally I've always preferred the Two of Cups to The Lovers tarot card (which looks very similar and has some intersections in themes, also concerning love, intimacy, passion). Plus, The Lovers is part of the Major Arcana, so technically it should be more impactful, ‘epic’, someone said, divine. While doing some research into that distinction I've found why exactly it makes me a bit queasy. The Lovers are not always a card about love, in fact, more often it isn’t. And The Lovers aren't made for each other. That is to say, they obviously are, considering the entirety transparent Adam and Eve imagery (and this also makes it a more conservative card, with clear molds for a ‘traditional relationship’). The Lovers are brought together by a higher power, made for a purpose. It serves something. It is a message. It is a lesson. It's a choice between what you want and what you need. It is a partnership, often intense, out of this world, but it’s also about all the factors in between, the things that unite them, the snake, the temptation, the apple, the garden. It can be also about soulmates, and happy relationships, of course, about fated lovers… and mortal enemies. It actually is more in line with Merlin’s and Morgana’s relationship. Out of this world fated connection? Absolutely, guaranteed. Do you want that kind of connection though, really?

How is this relevant, you might be thinking?

Well, there is no such divine power pushing the couple portrayed by the Two of Cups. In fact, they are choosing each other. It’s only them and their union. That’s why I like it so much. They are only the way they are, not the way they are meant to be, not specifically made for each other and yet they are right for each other anyway. And, somehow, just being them is enough. Is that not love?

In Merlin we are told that Merlin and Arthur are a part of each other’s destiny. The Once and Future King and Emrys, his protector, uniting Albion, prophesized by some unnamed seer(s). Does not seem very much like a choice, does it? I guess it depends on the way you view the prophecy and destiny in the show. Is it really all inevitable, and destiny is set in stone, unable to be changed, all leading to the same end, no matter what you do? Or is it the choices themselves that are the constants, fixed in place by the prophecy fulfilling itself? I think the answers to those questions are entirely up to each viewer, and that we can only speculate on it, and never know for sure which was it. Maybe there isn’t a right answer at all. But what I do know is there was a choice Merlin and Arthur made. Let’s return to the imagery on the card..

The couple is exchanging the cups. They are not just toasting – they are performing a ritual, a ceremony. Like exchanging rings, like giving vows. It’s a promise, it’s a connection, it’s a new step, it’s a commitment. And the parallels of the scene in 1x11 don’t end with just imagery. Merlin and Arthur complete the ritual! In the show!

In the episode 1x04, The Poisoned Chalice, Merlin starts the ritual by drinking from Arthur’s poisoned goblet, which he does to protect him. I would also like to add that this is the first time Two Cups appear that season (that's twice they used the imagery), notably, two ceremonial goblets that are supposed to symbolize peace and partnership between two kingdoms. Even if it doesn’t represent the actual state of the two kingdoms, it definitely shows King Bayard’s genuine desire for a peaceful alliance. And Merlin drinks from one of them!

Merlin drinks poison for Arthur and in Labyrinth of Gedref, Arthur drinks ‘poison’ for Merlin in turn. Very unconventional way to get married, I must say, but it’s remarkable that they do it in the same way (even if not at the same time).

So. What does all of that tell us about Merlin and Arthur?

We’ve established that the card signifies a very close, strong and significant relationship, chosen by both parties. Again, I like that it emphasizes the choice, that they didn’t just fall into the friendship because of destiny (even if it aided them). The Two of Cups is a part of the Minor Arcana, which deals with the every day matters, earthly lives. Is that not fitting? Merlin didn’t choose The Once and Future King, he chose Arthur, and Arthur didn’t choose Emrys, he chose Merlin.

Merlin’s who been promised a peaceful future. A land where magic is free. Merlin, who knows what’s supposed to happen: The Once and Future King brings that future. The King dies. Merlin, who has a choice to bring that future. To save Mordred. To remove the ban on magic. He doesn’t choose that, he chooses to essentially destroy that future entirely, just so he can have Arthur.

Arthur, who values Merlin’s opinion above everyone else’s, Arthur on his deathbed, finally seeing Merlin for who he is, says, “I don’t want you to change, I want you to always be you,” Arthur, who is dying, a few steps from the chance being saved, (still too far, not enough time), decides to stop because in his last moments he just wants to be held by Merlin.

They chose each other.

And that’s, dare I say it, love.

[witchthewriter]

𝐘𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐬

I need to speak about a show I've just finished watching. Desperately.

*Spoilers ahead*

When the HELL is season 3 coming out? Will there be a bonus episode? I feel like my whole brain has been dragged into a pit where the only clue to escape are the words; 'figure It out'. I have read/listened to/watched as many theories as I can and god, some of them are amazing. I think my favourite would have to be that Shauna and Jeff's daughter's full name is Jacqueline (although it might be a stretch, it would still be fucking amazing). The ambiguity of 'is it something supernatural,' or 'was it us all along.' UGH! Okay so to me, the cannibal scenes aren't that shocking - it's the middle of Winter, no food, everyone is starving. It makes sense. There's logic to it.

However, it does become a bit more horrible when they have to choose someone to sacrifice. And yet I did learn, from another yellowjackets poster, that it was common and legal, for sailors who were shipwrecked to eat another person. HOWEVER! (this was in the 17/18 hundreds) and there were RULES.

But what I think we're going to see in season 3 is something more shocking then we've already witnessed. (I really hope we do). Especially since the death of Nat (rest in paradise my love) - what happens now? I kinda feel like Walter is going to be a big player in the Adult Timeline. But I think Lottie is going to become obsessed with Callie, her comment, calling her "powerful," was very ... off-putting.

Also when Nat and Travis are in bed and ... you-know-whatting- Lottie keeps coming up as a hallucination.

Here's what the co-showrunner had to say about it:

“We hope that the audience doesn’t necessarily interpret that, or doesn’t absolutely interpret that, as a love triangle. It’s not just like, Travis is having sex with Natalie but thinking about Lottie. That’s not it at all,” Lisco told The Hollywood Reporter when speaking about the episode, which released March 31. “It’s actually a battle between faith and pragmatism.”

(I just added that because I was like ... he's in love with Lottie now? But obviously that wasn't the case...)

I think overarching theme that girlhood is intristically violent, bloody and harsh. No we may not eat another person, but we do bleed every month, we do feel this unbridled anger at the world around us. There's much I could say on this...

If anyone has any comments, please please interact. You can even send me a dm! I'm quite literally obsessed with this show. 🌷🌿🌹

[ave-immaculata]

How can a woman discern the character of a man she's seeing? At the end of the day, can we only take him at his word that he is what he claims and will carry out his promises in marriage? I don't know your relationship history, but I'm hoping you might have some insight.

I definitely think there are things we can do beforehand to help discern, but ultimately there is a leap of faith involved and there's not a foolproof method or test or anything. More than anything, offering the relationship to God and asking for discenment is important - I've also noticed that to distinguish words vs. reality, it's important to have witnessed:

- him angry. him overworked. him stressed out. how is he when he's angry but you're calm? how is he when you're both stressed? how does he approach conflict resolution? how does react when you're angry or stressed?

- his work ethic. especially if he's kind of trad leaning, does he work hard? when he's off work, is he willing to run errands with you or do something that isn't lay on the couch and play video games? what about when it's the third day in a row? what about when it's the eighth day in a row? is he looking at his career path and taking it seriously? is he willing to make a budget? how does he spend his money? is he willing to learn new skills and make sacrifices?

- his spiritual life. does he initiate prayer with you? does he come to Mass and Confession (for the latter, even if you're not going)? is he familiar with the faith and growing in it? can he talk about it?

- him in groups. is he a good role model to those around him? does he serve them? do they ask him for advice? when he's criticized, how does he take it in the moment and afterwards?

- him when it's just the two of you: does he try and overstep your boundaries or take advantage of you? does he depend on you to be the one to recognize when you're crossing a line? does he act inconvenienced or upset when you say things are stopping?

Does he know and take your feelings and preferences into account in his planning and decision making? When he says he's going to do something or be somewhere, does he follow through? If something comes up, does he make excuses or apologize? Is he quick to forgive you when you apologize? Has he seen you without make-up? How does he react to seeing other young women with no make-up/undone? Has he seen you ugly cry?

Obviously, there are predatory and manipulative men who will do everything in their power to present the "right" answers to those questions and minimize the times where that mask has slipped to make it seem like no big deal. We can only prepare ourselves to carry out the promises of marriage, and even then, it's unknown because it depends on our continual cooperation with God's grace.

Also, the recommendation here is obviously not to provoke your boyfriend to anger or intentionally run him ragged or put yourself into an occasion of sexual sin. In my experience these all presented themselves organically, and sometimes one area is weaker than the others and you might need to determine if you think you can live with that for the rest of your life.

If there is something in your gut that, even though he has every reason to be trustworthy and you've known him for a year and a half and seen all those sides of him, you still feel like something is.. off...? Then there's something off. Even if it turns out he is a wonderful young man and not dangerous or mean, that doesn't sound like the man you should marry. Similarly if you feel completely seen and safe and ready to go after 6 weeks, just look into love bombing really really quickly and take a breath before you make any big decisions.

I know this is well and truly scattered but I hope it was helpful!