#obviously experiences vary but yeah

[catamaris]

really fun seeing all these trans yomiel discussion posts bc there's nothing more trans than being (literally) detached from your own body and seeing it as a vessel + wanting "rebirth" and to "grow old in a society that would accept him". he's all four — the fujoshi (good boy line), the trans allegory, the autistic individual, and the struggler

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[realbeefman]

i know chase obviously wins the religious trauma competition but can we please talk about how foreman was not only raised by a deeply religious father, but was most likely raised BAPTIST. no wonder he’s so repressed. the baptist experience is like. you’re in church every sunday listening to a man scream about how love is something that should hurt. you believe in a good, loving god - but to believe, you have to accept that true love is painful. that to be a good person, you must suffer. to love is to endure it, to work mercilessly. you’re not worthy of the love of The Almighty, and you never will be, and that sense of unworthiness is fundamental to having faith. when you sin, you don’t just hurt Him, you hurt everyone around you. you make the world worse because you have dared commit the sin of existence — to be human is to be sinful. to be loved is to feel unworthy and pathetic and hopeless. like YEAH no wonder foreman self isolates and is emotionally closed off. he was taught from BIRTH that he is fundamentally unworthy of love, and that in accepting love, he is also accepting that he truly is worthless.

[pyreo]

handful more dunmeshi thoughts:

I like how their ability to cook is cumulative. they still have stock or leftovers from previous episodes making each meal more varied or better balanced, it honestly feels super enriching having solid evidence that their situation improves the more they experiment.

I like that the main party are immedaitely shown to be veterans of exploring this dungeon, and were fully expecting to comfortably handle the final boss. They're familiar with the layout and overall logic of the place, and how to co-exist as a diverse group.

I like that it's not horny. I mean yeah there's the dwarven upskirts but that just feels like realism. I know there's some kind of yuri bathroom thing but we've been told since episode one that is based on deep-seated emotions. what I mean is nobody is drawn sexily, nobody is getting gratuitous fanservice for no reason, nobody is lusting over other characters. there were even sirens and the opportunity was not taken to draw them like sexy temptresses. All things considered, they are in a work environment. I enjoy this, everybody has more important things to do.

It's based on dungeons and dragons/roguelikes/RPGs obviously, but in a loose method that doesn't get hung up on itself. Also the problems they solve are always realistic/a matter of pragmatism or efficiency rather than having to be more powerful than something else. solutions are based on critical thinking (good example - making a flail out of a vial of holy water because ghosts pass through the glass and get smacked by the water)

An extention of that, it's fun how much logistics and realism form the basis of their problems. Nothing is handwaved. The central dilemma is staying fed and that is a challenge. They can't cross a hall of water in a boat, because two of them wear heavy armour, and would sink. They do not even leave sightlines of each other without informing someone else where they're going, so the alarm will be raised if they don't come back. They're all capable in their own ways and this directly leads to solutions requiring group effort.

also look at these marcilles

[transmutationisms]

I have always been wary of the psychiatric industry, but its only very recently that i started to read anti-psychiatric works. Your blog is the first time i saw that the "chemical imbalances causing mental illness" is a myth, and honestly its something im having a hard time wrapping my head around.

Is it that mood regulation struggles, labelled as a mental illnesses, has more to do with outside factors instead of the person "just being that way"? Is it therefore unlikely for someone to have struggles with mood regulation if they cant identify any external causes that would cause them to be, for example, extremely agoraphobic or to have anger management issues? Im asking this for myself mainly, cause i always had intense agoraphobia no matter how i often go outside my home (in fact it was worse when i was a teen and i was outside the house in even more back then). I cant think of any reason for me to be like this than chemical imbalances in my brain.

the specific 'chemical imbalance' myth i was talking about in this post is the idea that depression is caused by low serotonin, and that therefore SSRIs—serotonin re-uptake inhibitors, ie drugs that cause a higher level of serotonin in the brain—ought to cure or at least ameliorate depression. this conjecture is belied by the fact that SSRIs don't, at a population level, reliably perform better than placebo.

although a neurobiological cause of 'mental illness' has long been the holy grail of psychiatry, the serotonin imbalance myth is far from the only hypothesis that psychiatrists and neuroscientists have proposed. so, a critique of the serotonin myth is not synonymous with, or generalisable to, a critique of every neurobiological mechanism purported to explain psychiatric diagnoses. you may be interested to know, though, that genomics and neuroscience have not identified a biological cause of any psychiatric diagnosis (p. 851).

all human experiences are biologically instantiated, including in the brain and wider nervous system. we are embodied beings. however, it is a leap to assume that such instantiation is automatically equivalent to a causal explanation or disease etiology. in other words, to deny that psychiatric diagnoses are known to be biologically caused does not mean we deny that thoughts and thought patterns express in the physical matter of neuroanatomy. this is a major philosophical sticking point to keep in mind whenever you're looking at something like, eg, a study that purports to show 'brain differences' in those assigned a certain psychiatric diagnosis. another thing to consider is whether these papers are plagued with methodological issues or financial conflicts of interest.

i can't possibly tell you why you exhibit agoraphobia. however, when i talk about social, economic, and environmental factors that may contribute to the patterns of behaviour labelled as 'mental illness', i'm talking about much more than the individual choice to leave your house. since phobias are 'anxiety disorders', i might start by probing into questions like: is the world you live in safe? do you perceive it as safe? do you or your community face existential threats that may confront you more obviously when you go outside? are you nervous around other people, and if so, might that be connected to fears (well-founded or not) about interpersonal violence and harm? do you think any of these anxieties may be connected to the hostility and inaccessible design of the social environment and economic conditions?

human behaviour and thought varies. some of those variations may be totally benign; others may be helpful or harmful to the person living with them. it would be weird if every single one of the 8 billion people on earth experienced precisely the same amount of anxiety about any situation, no? all of this is to say: yeah, it's entirely possible you have been, for one reason or another (genetic, neuroanatomical, social, &c) predisposed to experience high, even debilitating levels of anxiety when leaving your home. most human characteristics develop from a tangle of social, environmental, material causes—ie, from a combination of 'nature' and 'nurture'. what doesn't follow, though, is the claim that there is therefore a discrete, 'diseased' element of your brain or brain functioning that can simply be cured or eliminated through psychiatric intervention.

it is a critical point of anti-psychiatry to challenge psychiatric and neuroscientific claims to neurobiological determinism where psychiatric diagnoses are concerned. this is for many reasons, including: a) that these claims have not been demonstrated to actually be true [see above]; b) that they rob pathologised people of agency and self-determination [see: you're too sick to know you're sick, and the doctor will fix you now]; c) that they are often pushed by pharmaceutical companies with financial interests, or grant-funded researchers with... financial interests; d) that they are politically seductive in various eugenic, hereditarian discourses that seek to eliminate the biologically 'unfit' element from society.

[feartoxinjelloshot]

clipsverse SWAP AU! for fun! character elaboration under the cut because it gets kind of wordy:

selina's deal is pretty straightforward: she has the typical “saw parents die as a child" backstory, but she’s obviously not a millionare so she’s operating out of some kind of condemned underground parking lot... somewhere. authentic gotham grunge i guess. she’s a functioning alcoholic and i am obsessed with her. she's a hardboiled detective like batman, but tends to be a bit more cynical - sort of like if rorschach from watchmen was a normal person and also didn't hate sex. firefly is her "guy in the chair" similar to what alfred is to batman in canon, minus the surrogate parent part, obviously. public opinion is pretty split on if the bat is a man or a woman under there. i don't really have swap ideas for the robins ironed out, but i'm thinking that cass and stephanie are her robin and red hood equivalents (cass being dick, stephanie being jason). cass would have an allblack bird theme going on, so she might be "crow" or "blackbird" instead of robin. dunno what stephanie's red hood rendition is like. purple hood? i'll figure it out eventually.

bruce’s parents are alive, but he has a terrible relationship with them and with his own wealth so he mitigates the guilt complex by dressing up as a cat to steal and redistribute resources to people who actually need it. he could probably do that in daylight but there is something very wrong with him. i don't think his dumb slutty playboy persona is entirely genuine even without his parents' deaths, but he does lean into it more and incorporate parts of it into his vigilante persona over time. i think this version of bruce is just generally very lonely under the surface. he tries to be normal in his daytime life and he's very bad at it - theft aside, in a certain sense being the cat(man? woman?) is his own break for freedom; he felt a need to plunge himself far into the deep end of what normal society calls a 'freak'. ...writing it out like this, we're probably lucky he didn't start killing people. fortunately batman isn't really that kind of guy in any universe.

meanwhile on the other side of the rails: ivy! her deal is slightly unformed right now due to the fact that the hatter and the joker also swap places in this au - so the hatter is a dangerous, evil mastermind intent on controlling gotham to suit their whims, and the joker is... just a harmless silly little guy. yeah. i don't have swap-hatter's exact personality ironed out yet, so detailing his and ivy's dynamic would be difficult, but i can say that while she is his loyal second-in-command at his table of advisors, she is also plotting against him. ivy is a consistent loner in both mainline cv and here, and while she doesn't have the same tumultuous, antagonistic, emotional relationship with him as harley does with the joker, she is also frankly not interested in being his number one until the end of time. she wants to do it herself and she wants to do it right. this is an ivy who, in lieu of her own world-altering gift, is scraping tooth and nail to successfully supersede the most powerful entity she can get her hands on. the hatter is blissfully unaware of this - we can't all be perfect.

harley, for her part, is very tame in comparison. she mirrors ivy's canonical backstory pretty closely: an esteemed scientist studying stem cell relations who was denied funding, mocked, and forced to experiment on herself to prove a point, unwittingly connecting herself to a worldwide hive-mind of plantlife. this version of harley, while still dressed as a scientist, is far more surface-level emotionally volatile than mainline ivy, more impulsive and irrational, and probably willing to lean much farther into the classic poison ivy reputation as a villainous seductress, to varying degrees of honesty and success. it takes ivy an incredible degree of patience and control to maintain the mental and physical balance she strikes with the green, and this version of harley has far less of both. she lets it use her body as a conduit of earthly rage and she lets the poison infect her skin and organs until mottled and decaying. she's not unhappy, but she's not exactly stable, either.

jonathan is a mysterious, faux-sleazy lounge singer who lost his left arm to a snake bite infection as a child and thereafter became obsessed with the symbolism of the balance of life via games, tricks and questions - winning and losing, birth and death, etc. the ouroboros is a common symbol in his theatrics. he possesses a certain degree of social confidence that the mainline jonathan has never quite been capable of - while he doesn't have the same fervent need for attention as edward, he takes a compulsory delight in the mental influence he achieves on small crowds and will employ many avenues to get ahold of it. he's certainly not outgoing: he keeps almost entirely to himself offstage, uninterested in fame outside of his show persona. unlike mainline jonathan who views the scarecrow as a genuine self-inflicted diety, this jon sees his persona as more of a mantle or responsibility that he must take on in order to discover new truths about the world. like his canon counterpart he is asexual and uninterested in sex, but i imagine that he has less qualms about leading people on as an act to get what he wants from them. he's not terribly famous in his singing career, but he's become a bit of an underground legend for his resolute 1920s-inspired style and occasional genuine debonair charm.

edward in comparison is not nearly as ritualistically compelled as mainline scarecrow, but he’s far less cagey about his own machinations and his mental relationship to them: he lives in a tricked-out barn somewhere on the far outskirts of gotham, and he spends his time as a propmaster creating elaborate saw-trap-esque haunted houses and escape rooms to invoke panic in his “guests”. he wanders the halls of his own houses along with the guests, repairing and tinkering, or just scaring the shit out of them. he also makes a genuine living by making and selling cosplay props and other related objects online; he's developed a bit of an internet presence through this channel, though he's not as fixated on it as the mainline riddler would be. he still craves spectacle and attention, but he's more of a "quality over quantity" guy according to his own standards and is rarely happy with the work he creates, hence the endless roundabout of creation and reinvention.

[trans-axolotl]

I think the reason psychosis is always viewed as a crisis by non-schizo effected people is cause neurotypical people are always told and believe that an episode of psychosis is the most terrifying thing that could happen. Like at least from my experience, descriptions, talks, and depictions of psychosis is AS something that's deathly scary to not know (and assumably never again know) what's real and what isn't, some depictions showing any episodes as worse than death. Like obviously that's not true but it stays with people; the telling of "it's the worst thing that could ever happen everytime" and definitely made the first few times I dealt with psychosis and hallucinations a lot worse and a lot scarier

yeah! so much of the messaging around psychosis and schizophrenia is so fucking dangerous because of the way it continually reinforces these ideas that psychosis is always terrifying, life-ending, and the worst case scenario. like that can have materially dangerous impacts on the lives of people living with psychosis/altered states. i think that kind of stigmatizing messaging about psychosis really demobilizes people in our communities and convinces people that they don't have the capability to support their loved ones with psychosis, and instead creates this idea that "professionals" are the only ones who could ever actually support someone through psychosis. and that leads to so much more forced institutionalization, pathologization, violence towards people experiencing psychosis, and just really a lack of the kind of proactive community support that could actually help prevent some kinds of crisis and distress.

i think it also makes it really hard for us, when we start experiencing psychosis/altered states for the first time, because there's really no framework for us to understand and cope with our experiences beyond just "this is the worst thing ever and there's no options for me." i think it creates a lot of forced shame and secrecy, as well as pushing a lot of us into more intense crisis because we have nowhere to go to get support. and like, when you google this half the shit that comes up tells you to call 911 immediately, and when you're someone who can't do that because it's dangerous for you, you're just left with no fucking options or getting pushed into treatment options that don't respect your autonomy.

i wish there was a lot more recognition that psychosis/altered states are something that can happen to anyone, and actually do happen to a lot more people to varying degrees and in different contexts. that psychosis is something that it is possible to live fulfilling and meaningful lives with. that you don't need to be an expert to support someone living with psychosis/altered states. and that there is so many ways of living with psychosis, and that antipsychotics and therapy are not the only options, and should never be a forced option. i also have so many thoughts about how desperately we need informed consent for antipsychotic medications and how fucking mad i am about the amount of information that is withheld from psychotic people about the side effects of our meds, the withdrawal experience, dosages, other options, etc etc etc.

anyway i just really recommend that everyone, whether you're someone who experiences psychosis/altered states or not, learns more about psychosis and do the work to challenge all these internalized myths we learn from society and the psych system. i highly recommend checking out the hearing voices network, and also really recommend Project LETS anticarceral altered states training to learn more ways to help support yourself and your loved ones.

thanks for this ask, i really agree with what you're saying!

[blackcoldcrackedheart]

Part 1 one in where Buck and Sal face off because Buck caught Sal and Tommy on a "date" here

Buck patted his face dry with his towel, wincing a bit as he absentmindedly touched his lip. The cut wasn’t too obvious, and Buck felt a bit smug that besides that and a slightly bruised eye he had come out unscathed.

He couldn’t say the same about that dick head though.

Granted he was suspended for three days and he figured in the long run, it might have not been worth it.

But God, it felt to sock the guy.

He threw the towel down on the bathroom counter, smirking again when he saw his reflection as he left the bathroom to get himself a cup of coffee.

Three days suspended without pay started today, he wasn’t gonna apologize to the guy.

Obviously.

Buck wasn’t sure what he would do today, besides maybe go the gym when he heard a knock at his door.

He knew it wouldn’t be Eddie or Bobby since they were both on shift still. Maddie had work, so it definitely wouldn’t be her.

He opened the door, mentally prepared for whomever it was. Especially if it was anyone from the 118.

Buck felt himself freeze as he finally registered who he opened the door for. Wearing a worn hoodie, ripped jeans, and dark and gloomy glare was Tommy.

“We need to talk.” The older man told him firmly, walking into Buck’s place uninvited but Buck was almost itching for another reason to get upset now.

“What?” Buck scoffed, not too gently closing the door behind him, “Came over here because you think I’m gonna apologize to your boyfriend?” he asked, knowing that he might have sounded petulant- but he didn’t care.

He was hurting.

So sue him.

Tommy shook his head, sighing as his shoulders slumped as though Buck had zapped the energy out of him. He looked ragged as he scrubbed his face, “He’s not my boyfriend, Buck.”

That had Buck wincing, hearing Tommy say his nickname sounded so unnatural and cold.

“Could have fooled me.”

“What do you mean?” Tommy frowned, looking rightfully confused as he stared at Buck imploringly. “Buck, Sal is my friend.”

“Oh yeah.” Buck let out a deprecating laugh, walking over to his kitchen and hoping the kitchen island could become a buffer for him, “You two definitely looked friendly at Escondite.” Buck hissed, remembering seeing Sal touch Tommy already him shaking. He could feel the adrenaline mix with his anger and sadness, he could barely look at Tommy as he sniffed. “I saw you there with him.”

He noticed Tommy’s demeanor shift, softening and worried as he stepped closer to Buck.

“Buck-”

“Listen,” Buck cut off him roughly, sniffing again and avoiding Tommy’s eye contact, “I get it- I-I pushed you or you-you probably thought I was just looking to experiment with you or something.” He sniped, hating out his teeth were grinding against each other as he got the words out. “Maybe-maybe I’m inexperienced compared to you, but him? Tommy, that guy?” he snorted. “I know it probably means nothing from me, but even you could do better than that guy.” He quickly wiped away a few stray tears, “You-You broke up with me and I get it.” He had to repeat it, more for his sanity than for anything else, “But I-I did love you and I know  I love you better than that d-bag.”

Buck refused to look at him, he didn’t want to break. His anger was already ebbing away into sadness.

“So you punched him? Because you thought he and I were dating?” Tommy asked, his voice was rough enough that it made Buck almost break.

“Yeah.” Buck admitted, not feeling an ounce bad for it, “So go ahead.” Buck took a deep breath in and finally looked up, “Yell at me or whatever you want, I don’t care.”

-

“Structure has been deemed as unsecured.” Deluca shouted over the radio. “We need all remaining firefighters to exit now.”

“You heard the man, let’s get out of here.” Eddie shouted over the flames, they had assisted in getting anyone stuck on the upper floors. They were successful for the most part, all survivors with vary degrees of injuries, but none were fatal.

But Buck could tell the place was falling apart, the fires only seemed to be spreading as the team tried to put the fire externally.

Buck was following Eddie when the radio crackled to life again, “Eddie, Buck, one of the survivors is telling us we missed someone. Forth floor, a man named Nigel Osaki.” Hen radioed through, before either men had a chance to respond Deluca’s voice cut in.

“Negate the request to look for anyone else, you two need to leave the building now.” Deluca ordered.

Buck and Eddie turned to look at each other, confused and mildly annoyed. Buck’s hatred for the guy already was tenfold as he responded back, “You want to leave a worker here?” Buck asked for clarification.

“Do I need to explain that in another language Buckley? Yes. You and Diaz need to leave, the building isn’t gonna be standing for too long.”

Despite wearing a breathing apparatus, Buck could already tell Eddie was giving him a “don’t start shit” look. “We’re not just gonna leave a person in this hell hole, Deluca.”

“Buckley, I don’t care! Get your ass down here, along with Diaz now!” Deluca yelled back. Buck turned off his radio, clenching his jaw as he yelled out “Screw this.” and gunned it back to the hallway.

“Buck!” Eddie yelled, “Where the hell are you going?”

“I’m going to find the last person hopefully. Get out of here Eddie!” Buck warned as he went to find the remaining person. He gave one last look back to see Eddie gun it before seeing a side of the wall collapse.

He really didn’t have a lot of time left.

“LAFD, CALL OUT!” Buck yelled, kicking down all the doors in the hallway, thankful that most of the rooms still hadn’t caught fight just yet. But the smoke had traveled through the vents, making a flume of dark smoke pour out, there wasn’t much point fanning the smoke away but Buck did so anyway as he continued to yell out.

He was sure if he had turned his radio back on Deluca would be cussing him out. He was ready to turn around and catch up with Eddie when he heard it.

A raspy call for help.

Buck kicked down two more doors when he saw it, a man trying to break through the window with no luck.

“Mr. Osaki?!” Buck yelled, causing the older man to jump.

“Yes! Yes!” The man coughed, pulling his badge to prove he was Osaki. “Thank you! Thank you!”

Buck quickly appraised him, the guy seemed to be standing well but he was having trouble breathing through the heavy smoke. “Let’s go!” Buck ordered, pulling Osaki close to him and giving him his breathing mask. “Let’s move it!” he yelled, startling the older man to rush along side Buck as they opted to leave through the other stair well once they realized the way Buck had originally came through was now blocked by the fire and debris from the ceiling.

Rushing down four flights of stairs during a fire wasn’t easy but nearly twenty minutes later, Buck and Osaki were out of the building, running to get to where the others were on standby and triaging survivors.

“Buck!” Eddie and Hen were the first ones to run up to him, Buck easily passed the older man into their care, accepting a sorrowful “Thank you.” From Osaki before he was led to the ambulance by Eddie and Hen.

“Are you okay?” Chimney asked, patting Buck on the shoulder as Buck tried to catch his breath.

“Yeah,” he gulped the fresh air into his lungs, “I-I think so.” He huffed, laughing to himself and feeling victorious in the most petty way.

“Well good.” Chimney declared, his façade dropping as he nodded towards something that was behind Buck. Or rather, someone. “Because brace yourself.” Chimney warned right when Deluca (and Bobby) reached them.

“The fuck is the matter with you Buckley?!” Deluca yelled, his blue eyes in slits as he got into Buck’s personal space. Not directly in his face, but too close for Buck’s liking. “I gave you direct orders to evacuate!”

Buck felt a sliver of thrill and satisfaction when the half snort/scoff he let out caused Deluca to bristle visibly. “And I ignored them.” Buck sniffed, “You think I was gonna let some guy die on my watch.”

“That wasn’t your call to make!” Deluca yelled, he pointed in the vague direction of where Eddie was  (who was half watching Deluca and Buck and half helping Hen treat patients), “You ditched your teammate and you deliberately disobeyed my commands!”

“Well Eddie is a big boy, he got out just fine, And so did the last vic, no thanks to you.” Buck knew his voice was getting rougher and louder with every word.

“Buck.” Bobby warned, “You need to pullback.” he stepped between the two men, trying to separate them as Chimney agreed.

“Yeah, everyone left unscathed. We didn’t lose anyone. A win is a win, right?” Chimney tried to add supportively, only to be met with scathing glances by Buck and Deluca.

Deluca stepped back, but he looked disgusted still as he told Bobby, “This how you run your team, Nash?” he asked indignantly, “Your boy might have saved the last vic, but he could have put that vic, himself, and Diaz in trouble with his stupidity.” He shoved a finger into Bobby’s chest, “And you call yourself a captain.”

Buck felt his temper flare.

So not only was Tommy dating a prick who happened to be a LAFD captain of all things, but the guy was also a douch to Bobby? What the hell did Tommy even see in this guy? Buck knew he wasn’t God’s gift to anyone, but he was miles ahead of this asshole in everything.

‘Screw this.’ Buck thought, “At least he gives a damn about saving people.” Buck spoke up, the edge in his voice never wavering. “And he’s not an asshole going on a power trip unlike some untalented captain who wants to win a pissing contest by letting innocent people die on his watch.”

Bobby, again, tried to get in between the two men but Deluca side stepped him. “You think you’re such a wise ass, Buckley. But one of these days your dumbass is gonna get you and your teammates killed.” Deluca warned, his finger in Buck’s face. “Any captain would have fired you for that stunt.”

“Any captain with common sense would make sure everyone gets saved. Not my fault you suck at your job!”

“Yeah? I was a firefighter when you were probably just discovering how your dick works.” Deluca hissed, “When you actually get experience as a firefighter twenty years in, then you talk to me till then, keep sucking up to Nash like the lost little boy you are.” He spat.

That was the last fucking straw.

That damn dismissal as though he wasn’t worthy of being a firefighter after everything he went through FOR the 118.

Buck chucked his helmet and tackled Deluca to the ground, he barely heard anyone yell as he delivered two blows to Deluca’s face.

He felt something catch his arm, causing him to pause and then he felt a hit to his lip- barely there, but the second hit to his cheek set him off. He wretched his arm back and socked Deluca in the face again before feeling he was being physically reeled back.

“BUCKLEY, ENOUGH!”

(Hen’s faltered a bit, trying to put on clean gloves so she could treat Deluca’s bloody nose and what had to be a dislocated jaw. “Did Buck just fight?” She asked in shock, much to her chagrin Eddie looked delighted. “Oh thank God, he can actually fight.” She rolled eyes as Eddie continued, “What? I was worried he couldn’t throw a punch!”)

-

Tommy was right across from him now, leaning towards the island enough that Buck felt his strength chip away as the urge to touch Tommy got stronger. “We aren’t dating, Buck. We never were.” Tommy stressed, “Sal is an old friend of mine from the 118.”

Buck raised a brow at that, he knew from Hen and Chim later that that was true. But he figured Tommy was the only one from the “ol’ boys” club that broke away and became friends with Hen and Chim and all the new transfers and probies. They had filled him in about Sal, giving him the cliff note versions of Sal’s time at the 118.

(Buck didn’t feel bad at all for decking the guy still.)

“You said you stopped being friends with any of those guys.” Buck was resolute now, crossing his arms. He never pressed Tommy about his time during Gerrard’s reign since Tommy was so visibly uncomfortable talking about it.

“I did stop talking to them. Specifically Sal since when I came out to him he didn’t take it well.” Tommy explained, he looked uncomfortable now.

“So what was that at Escondite then?”

Tommy sighed, chuckling a bit as he confessed, “He called me because his daughter came out to him.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” Tommy continued, a small smile as he saw watched the realization dawn onto Buck, “He has a daughter, Joanna, she’s 14 and bisexual. I hadn’t spoken to the man in years but I guess with his kid coming out to him he decided to make amends for the way he acted when I came out to him.”

Buck paused, “So you where…?”

“Catching up with the guy after he apologized for what he said and did to me.” Tommy clarified, finally looking at Buck now. “He mostly did it so he could prove to his daughter that he isn’t a homophobe like she thought he was, but he was sincere.” Tommy shrugged, shaking his head as he recalled the call from Sal. “We were catching up that night when you saw us at Escondite.”

Buck thought about it, something still wasn’t right though.

He frowned as remembered how touchy Sal was. “Didn’t seem like just catching up.” Buck accused, “He seemed pretty handsy towards you.”

Tommy stayed quiet for a moment, seemingly recalling that night but then his expression softened. He looked uncomfortable again.

“Not for the reason you think.” Tommy confessed, his voice strained and body tensing as he seemed to waver on the spot. Clearly unsure about wanting to stay or go yet. “I-I told him about you….About breaking up with you and still not being over you.”

Buck felt his heart skip a beat.

“You-wha-?”

Tommy gulp was audible, he was averting his gaze now, speaking but avoiding looking at Buck as though that was enough to break him fully.

“I know I was the one to break us and I don’t have any right to feel this way, but I do. I never stopped missing you and moving on has been the most impossible thing I have ever done. So when Sal asked me how I was coping with dating in LA, I couldn’t lie- I figured I might not see this asshole again so why not just trauma dumping onto him.” Tommy sighed into his hands, balancing his elbows on the island counter. Buck thought that Tommy was probably partly relieved but terrified that said all that.  “He was trying to cheer me up, Evan, that’s all.”

Buck nodded, he heard all the words and was in the middle of processing them but he stalled on hearing Tommy call him Evan again.

“You called me Evan.” He hated how his voice cracked at that; his eyes stung with tears. He realized that that was enough for Tommy to look alarmed and walk over to him.

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

Buck licked his lips, his eyes glancing down to Tommy’s lips before he forced himself to look into Tommy’s eyes.

They were so sorrowful looking.

But it wasn’t enough yet.

“You said you miss me.”

Tommy nodded, stepping closer. Buck couldn’t pull away, he felt like he was being pulled by an invisible rope now.

“I missed you so much.” Tommy confirmed, his hand hovering but not just touching Buck’s cheek yet.

“There wasn’t any other guy?” Buck asked, he tried to sound angry or bitter- but he just sounded wounded and filled with yearning to his own ears.

“Just you, Evan.”

Buck nodded, he bit his lower lip, ignoring the heat pooling in his stomach as he watched Tommy’s eyes dilate at the move. “You broke up with me though.”

“I know.” Tommy sniffed, “I’m so sorry. I wish I could undo it.” He let out a huff of a laugh as he admitted, “Sal thought I was an asshole for breaking up with you.”

That got the mood to break for Buck, he was sure he heard that wrong. “Deluca thought you were the asshole for breaking up with me?”

Tommy nodded, clearly pressing a smirk, “He thought I quote “Didn’t know a good thing even when it tries to smack you upside the head”.” He cocked his head side to side, “He’s not wrong. He thought I was an idiot to break up with you, he’s not wrong.”

“He isn’t.” Buck shook his head in frustration, he was still angry but, damn, he missed Tommy too much to not be wistful about the time they wasted. “You broke up with me for a dumb reason.”

“I know.”

“I wanted forever with you Tommy, I still do.” Buck hated how much he had to expose himself like this, but he needed to know. “Do you?” he asked the older man, “Because it’s either you do or don’t. I don’t want either of us to be unsure down the line in six months.”

Warm hands encompassed the sides of his face as he found himself being pulled towards Tommy.

The kiss melted away his anger, his bitterness, and thoughts.

Despite knowing better, Buck felt himself give in and hold onto Tommy’s hips as Tommy deepened the kiss. He didn’t even freaking mind that his lip was still sore from the fight.

It felt like he was home again, lulled into this warm and safe hold that he had missed terribly.

Pain be damned.

“I do.” Tommy told him, their foreheads pressed together and their lips just a touch away. Buck shivered as Tommy’s thumb brushed over his cheek and birth mark. “I’m all in, if its not too late.”

“It’s not too late.” Buck pulled him into another kiss.

This one was longer and led them to the couch….

-

“So wait, did Deluca actually want us back together?” Buck asked as he accepted a beer. The two had ordered food for (a late) lunch, situating themselves back on the couch with their food in hand.

“Still does.” Tommy nodded towards his phone that was sitting on the living room table, “He wrote back “Congrats assholes”.” Tommy took a sip of his beer, “The sweetest thing he’s ever said to me.” He told Buck dryly, causing the other man to snort before he started to piece together more things.

“Does that mean he knew who I was when he saw me on the scene yesterday?” Buck asked incredulously.

“Yeah,” Tommy confessed, he sat up and turned so that he was fully facing Buck now, “That’s why I came here. Sal is an asshole, but he does tone it down when he’s on a call. He thought it was funny to rile you up. To test you or something, I thought he was kidding when he told me you punched him. That’s not like you.”

Buck sheepishly agreed, “I-I just had a hard time accepting that you would go out with a guy like that. I don’t even get how your friends with a guy like that.”

Tommy hummed in agreement, he massaged Buck’s thigh- missing that simple intimacy as he told Buck, “It wasn’t a date.” He reminded Buck pointedly, before he could continue his phone pinged, “That better be him with good news.”

“Good news?”

Tommy looked at his messages, “Yeah.” He passed his phone to Buck, “I told him he better fess up to Bobby about why he decided to be a dick to you. I told him I would be headed here too since I was pissed at him for starting this.”

Buck read the latest message and felt a slew of feelings.

‘Tell your boyfriend that his suspension got recalled. Told Nash what happened. Consider this a thank you, you dick. Also, your boyfriend owes me a beer.’

Buck rolled his eyes as he dropped the phone between them, “He is a asshole.”

“But he does get the job done.” Tommy teased as he pulled Buck for a kiss.

Buck shook his head at the terrible attempt of a joke but relented as he went in willingly. “True.”

[alexandraisyes]

hi, same anon that asked if your symptoms go away or not. no clue why I worded it like that, but I meant if you experience it worse in intervals (obviously the symptoms are always there but get more noticeable at certain times). since you've answered my (horribly worded) question already, though, I raise another question: are there any resources that aren't horrifically ableist, where I can look further into ASPD, its symptoms and how they interact with things such as autism and other cluster B disorders? I ask so I don't keep asking you circular questions like you're equipped to diagnose a stranger with a personality disorder.

Resources are far and few to come by. A lot of what I know has been through extensive interpersonal study (talking to other people with the disorder). The fact of the matter is that most people with the disorder don’t freely talk about the disorder. You can look in online forum spaces if you want, or just get lucky and meet someone with the disorder in real life or happen to get super lucky and they’re already in your friend group. I have a sociopath and a malignant narcissist in my current friend group.

Understanding neurology would also help you in understanding any disorder, because there’s plenty of research on the neurological side of ASPD. Just not a lot of the psychological side. But if you understand neurology you understand psychology (most psychologists don’t fully understand neurology, they’re two different types of medicine with far different fields).

If you’re looking for how it interacts with other cluster b disorders, you can probably find at the very least one, maybe up to ten different “influencers” who are malignant narcissists (ASPD + NPD) who talk about the disorder on varying platforms. As stereotyped as it is, narcissists do actually love to talk about themselves.

As far as how it interacts with other neurodivergencies? Just ask someone with ASPD if they have comorbid neurodivergent disorders and what it’s like. However you aren’t going to find anything on having comorbid ASPD and autism. The two physically cannot coexist on a neurological level. (Trust me, I tried, I had a misdiagnosis of autism and was trying to wrap my head around it too).

So if someone with ASPD tells you they’re also autistic they’re wrong. They either don’t have ASPD or they don’t have autism. It’s always one or the other.

This is because ASPD and ASD are both largely caused by the amygdala. In ASD the amygdala is enlarged, growing abnormally quick between 6 and 12 months old. So you aren’t actually born autistic, but you may as well be. The faster the amygdala grows during that time the more severe the symptoms are presenting and the younger the symptoms will be noticeable.

ASPD on the other handle is caused by a reduced amygdala. Deformed sounds harsh but yeah it’s basically deformed. It’s smaller than normal, with an extremely regressed growth rate.

I could potentially go into the specifics but that’s a whole other post.

And I can’t diagnose anyone, online or off, so I will never try to. However, I am a reliable resource for understanding ASPD since it quite literally plagues me. So I can at the very least answer questions about something I’m unreasonably specialized in. Especially when the majority people in the psychiatric field of medicine aren’t specialized in it at all and there’s not enough genuine research for them to fake it either. And unfortunately most people aren’t willing to have compassion for things they don’t understand.

[olderthannetfic]

TL;DR: multiple people can arrive at the same fanfic idea/premise in different ways, but also, getting inspired by a different fanfic is not stealing, please don't gatekeep!

I joined a new fandom (it's Resident Evil (RE), which I'm mostly mentioning for that one 'nosy' anon because hell yeah I am super nosy as well, so here you go, dropping some names!), and I quickly stumbled upon one fandom-specific plot trope that I thought was both pretty neat but also super obvious (Infected!Character fic, which, in a world with zombies and viruses that cause zombies is a very logical trope).

Anyway, there was not quite as much body horror as I thought there would be, although I'm still looking, but that's not why I'm writing to you, that's just the (un)necessary background.

There was this one fic that I opened, which in its Author's Note clearly stated that the author set this fanfiction in another author's AU, because they loved the world created by this first author. The first fanfiction author basically came up with their own Infected!Character design and backstory (including fanart), and the second fanfiction author liked it so much they were now writing this fic based on/in that AU. Obviously not quoting the AN directly, but this second author was very complimentary and explicitly mentioned where they got the idea from, gushing about the first author.

In the AN for chapter two, the second author stated that they weren't aware that that first fanfiction author didn't allow others to write about the Infected!Character AU they'd made, that that first author in fact only allowed a very limited number of people they publicly approved of to write about their AU, and nobody else was allowed to touch the Infected!Character AU. This second author was now apologising in the AN for not knowing this, plus mentioning that they changed chapter one to switch up the backstory & design to not be too close to that of the first fanficton author's AU.

That made me sad, honestly. I've seen this attitude a couple of times, where fanfiction authors are super protective of their ideas that they won't allow any other fanfiction author to write about them, and it's always struck me as a little bit hypocritical, given the whole deal of fanfiction. Especially when the original/first fanfiction author is credited and the inspired work is clearly done because the second author loved the first fanfiction so much. If it's a highly developed/specific and original AU (so not just any common trope), and you don't even mention the fanfic you were inspired by, then I find that rude, but just flat out not allowing people to even touch 'your' thing? C'mon!

This partially ties into my other gripe about a specific type of comments I occasionally get, which are along the lines of 'huh interesting idea where did you get it? bc/btw there is this other fic with the same idea (posted before you)'; idk if I got the tone right, but they never seem to be actually genuinely asking how I got the idea (and I always delight in telling them, not sarcastically, I genuinely love talking about this stuff, bc I get inspired by the most random things and I love love writing 'original'/new things!! I love tropes as much as anybody, I read a shitton of them, but i when I write I love coming up with new shit/plot! it's so fun!!). They just vanish after my explanation, even when I try to invite further conversation. It always feels to me like they're 'checking' that I didn't steal the idea, and it feels a bit lousy.

I mean in (larger) fandoms, it is not surprising at all that two or three or even more people arrive at the same idea, maybe even inspired by the same thing, same reading of canon, or not, varied experiences--and just because the works are similar doesn't mean that they were inspired by one another, but if they are, that's not a sin! I just want people to not take everything in bad faith, and also, to not 'disallow' others from getting inspired, especially when they do it in a very polite manner!

It's because of comments like these that I sometimes, very privately, worry that before I'll manage to post the long fic I spent months writing--because I'm one of those who wants the thing finished before I start posting--somebody else will have a similar idea, post their thing first, and then I'll look like I'm lying about not reading/stealing their idea, or just jumping on the bandwagon, which again, it's not a bad thing, actually.

And it shouldn't be like that! I shouldn't worry, and people should also be more willing to accept that authors can arrive at the same idea at (roughly) the same time & accept that explanation without side-eyeing the author, and that if an author is inspired by a different fanfic, that's not a sin either (in fact, for me it would be an honour).

None of this is new either, but that RE stuff reminded me of it again.

Oh man, this is way longer than I thought it would be. Apologies. I'm going to add a TLDR at the start.

Anyway, I'm going to finish writing an Infected!Catboy!Leon fic now and be very unsurprised if I find out that somebody else has had the same idea long before me (aside from one or two reader fic inserts with that topic that I stumbled upon on tumblr, bc that's just not my thing at all (reader insert, I mean)).

--

In college, friends of mine had a falling out over one of them "stealing" the other's fic idea.

Space pirates.

Not specific space pirates. Not a way of integrating the concept that was fandom-specific. No, just the general idea of space pirates in the same fandom.

Never have I facepalmed so hard.

[allthegothihopgirls]

just finished reading death in the family properly and. whoo the racist undertones are racist undertoning. but uh. wanted to say that i cannot understand why people hated jason back then because like. he’s just a kid. he’s a KID. shaking 80s fans by the shoulders he’s a CHILD. he’s not gonna be a mature adult he’s gonna be a little weird and a little annoying even!! but he is a KID.

also wanted to ask your opinions on the jason has chronic pain headcanon? i personally as someone w chronic pain really enjoy it because it makes sense and i am a firm believer that we need more representation of invisible disabilities like some chronic pain is (and mine is) but ive heard a few people say they don’t like it

— baptism anon

right?? like yeah i think jason dying was the most beneficial thing to ever happen to his character, and he also had next-to-no defining traits as robin apart from being a dick grayson carbon-copy + replacement... but i don't get why people hated him.

~

jason w/ chronic pain!!!!!! oh boy i have feelings about him... i LOVE.

especially when it's death-induced.. a bit like phantom feeling/pain, but instead it is. very. real. like, he has chronic joint pain in places where joker hit him a few too many times etc. personally i reject the 'lazarus pit made him squeaky clean' canon, so on top of him keeping all his scars, and being more frankenstein than man.. chronic pain fits in very well.

i also definitely enjoy headcanons of him with chronic migraines.. not because i'm projecting.

i think it's a pretty agreed-upon headcanon that jason isn't a fan of medication in the slightest, due to his mother's death (only making exceptions when he's sustained more than a minor injury on patrol or a mission and is being tended to).

so i propose, stubborn jason w/ chronic migraines, who will never admit to needing actual medication. obviously he isn't going to be stupid about it, he won't patrol if it's too bad, and maybe tries to ward it off with some regular ibuprofen. but he is so against being properly medicated for prevention or treatment, and gets super defensive if dick or bruce suggest it to him.

he's always in varying levels of head hurt™ and just. lives with it. in the comfort of his own apartment he's definitely not a stranger to herbal teas and heat packs though.. however at the same time he's 100% beating himself up whenever he can't just power through.

i don't think he'd actively tell anyone either. dick figures it out from the way he'll rub at his temples post-patrol, or maybe a couple of unclosed search tabs on a computer 'whydoesmyheadalwayshurt' or 'home remedies: how to naturally prevent migraines'

for bruce finding out i have a bit more of a developed idea. jason's gone out patrolling with a migraine, against his better judgement. he's on comms with bruce, who's getting his assistance on a case he's been tracking. seemingly out of nowhere he hisses a little in pain, and bruce is asking what's wrong.

jason grows defensive quickly and spurts out a routine "imfinedontworry" but was apparently not convincing enough because before he knows it bruce is asking "status?" ..and he swears there's a microchip in him somewhere that forces him to give a truthful answer, because it's not like he wants to tell bruce his head's hurting, because that's just plain embarrassing. he doesn't want people thinking that he can't handle pain that miniscule.

between that and the other times he's been asked "red hood, report" and stated his condition, adding on a "head hurts a bit too, but that's just normal".. it wasn't difficult for bruce to suspect something unusual.

moving away from migraines, i think he also experiences chronic joint pain. compared to the previously mentioned, it's easier to play joint pain off as 'normal' and convince himself there's no cause for concern. he's 100% in denial of having an actual issue, which i'd like to think somewhat comes from bruce experiencing the exact same thing, and jason watching him absolutely refuse to admit any weakness it causes him.

he ends up believing it's just something that happens to everyone (well, at least everyone who dresses up and fights crime on the regular). jason's confused when dick's asking him if he wants to stick around for a chat post-patrol, because is dick not also desperate to go home, ice his joints, and spend time doing stretches to ease his pain before finally getting some sleep?????

i don't think he'd realise that it isn't a normal thing until he's called out on it. maybe he makes an off-comment about 'never feeling 75%, let alone 100%' comfort-wise, and damian remarks how that is. an issue. jason's instantly defending himself "yeah well that's just what happens when you've been in the business for this long-" and dick chimes in to point out that he doesn't feel like that. from there i think he goes to an even larger effort to hide any pain he's in.

big believer in jason being a cane user too. i think babs is the one who convinces him to start using one, after the events of this panel ↓ ↓ ↓ 

you cannot tell me that she's letting that comment slide: "that book looked... useful" plus "i don't think i've ever been okay", ok jason mr 'i really resonated with this and now i'm having revelations' todd.

she's 100% sitting his ass down for a real talk about whatever he has going on.

and i think afterwards, babs suggests that he really considers mobility aids. to which i think he ends up being very accidentally ableist, in the 'but those are for old people' way. it takes... a lot to reverse his somewhat internalised ableism, and get him to at least try a mobility aid out.

he grows less opposed to it as he realises that it's not something he's obligated to use all the time, and that it works. so he uses a cane around his apartment, and around the manor when he gets to be confident enough (he's a bit worried of people asking questions, but no one even bats an eye, because it just makes sense).

i have a whole other set of thoughts about the batfamily + how they go about jason using a cane... but i think i've gone on for long enough.. my apologies

in conclusion... chronic pain!jason todd is a HUGE headcanon of mine. love it a lot.

[princessfroslass]

Ok but.... I just had an idea for a Swap AU

Chaggie swapping places with Huskerdust- but like keeping most of their traits and story.

Lemme explain- Angel, who is now in Charlie's spot, managed to get rid of his contract (hint, is exactly what he said on his breakdown at Masquerade. Val is that fucking awful, and yes he is still alive, more on that later) but the experience makes him feel bad for all his friends in the Studio (and in the Vee empire as an whole) so he decides to make a safe space for survivors, and maybe even overthrown the Overlord system, who knows- obviously everyone makes fun of him. He is just guy without powers, and even worst everyone knows him as the one whore that was so used that not even the Overlord of Sex wanted him anymore- this has varying results depending of Angel's temper that day lmao

Husk is now in Vaggie's spot; he is Angel's partner, and his common sense. While Charlie is too much of a people pleaser and Vaggie had to keep her real, Angel has the tendency to be ANYTHING but sincere about his intentions, so Husk is behind there to poke him on the ribs and go full "Bae... Get Serious" Neither is the nicest person, but they are doing their best. Also if you are wondering how the Vaggie being an angel™ twist fits in this....think about it, Angel is going agaisnt the Overlord system, to him, Husk is just another survivor from a cruel overlord like he is.... Husk just casually forgot to bring up the fact that he was part of this system as well (I know in the show Angel doesn't has much of a reaction to this revelation, but take into account that 1. They barely know each other then and here they had been together for 3 years like Chaggie and 2. Angel had grown to resent the system as an whole as he is not in survivor mood anymore- think of how Blitz resents how Imps are treated) so yeah drama.

Charlie is Lucifer's privileged sweet baby girl. In this AU, she managed to abolish Heaven's exterminations with Emily's help and a bit of Daddy's convincing long ago- so her life has no meaning pretty much. She is even MORE disconected from reality due to how sheltered she was- she has good intentions, but sees the sinners almost....cute. But she has Daddy Issues, and overheard Lucifer saying that the Overlord system was an mistake and that Sinners should had never been given the option to gain powers like this- so she took onto herself to do her dad's job and help Angel on his project (so she also has Alastor's job lmao) Angel and Husk are CLEARLY using her to give the shelter more credibility and to scare any vengeful overlord off (Angel serves more as security in the actual show tbh lmao)but they like her, specially Angel who sees alot of his sister on her.

Vaggie at the other hand is the definition of unemployment. Without Exterminations, she was no longer of any use- and due to how close she was to Lute, she had to be...silenced, if you get what I mean. Heaven couldn't know they slaughtered Sinners for fun, after all. She was left for death in Hell, barely surviving... She was saved by Lucifer at the very last minute. Feeling she owns him her life, he sets her to work for the Shelter, both to appease his daughter's newest whim and to protect her should anything goes wrong. You get the gist, she is designed bartender. Why? Because the owners are alcoholic and this whole mess started with me imagining her on a bartender uniform I am gay leave me alone- anyways she considers anyone there a clown, specially her cargo, so she is anything but happy about it lmao but again, she pretty much sold her soul to the devil when she said she owned him.

Niffy just follows Husk and Angel around, she was with the former when Angel met him, and he didn't questioned it, assuming she was under the same Overlord as Husk (she was actually Husk's). She is, like in the show, the shelter's maid, and the one person Husk vents to the most as he can't reveal his past pre-slavement to his husband. They treat her like her fuck up daughter.

Alastor is not in the shelter- but he is not with the Overlords perse either. He is playing for both teams, basically, ocassionally visiting the Shelter because watching his former pet beg him to shut up is too fun- also because he misses Nifty. But an part of him is envious of Angel's freedom and new mindset (remember he is both an Overlord and under one)

Pentious tried to originally destroy the shelter to gain the Vees's favor- it backfired heavily and now he is helping them out- he is mostly around because Cherri is though. Cherri is staff too, security, like Husk is. She saw first hand how much that life fucked Angel up and she wants to help, though she is highly.... Exceptical too. She is also very suspicious of Husk, but what started as just a "My best friend's ex was shit, how can I be sure you aren't the same?" Had transformed to "there is DEFINITELY something you are not telling him and I don't like that".

The Vees and other overlords are pretty much like Heaven- mostly a passive threat at the horizon, but always there to push our heroes down-specially Val.

[stupidlittlespirit]

Hello!

Sorry if this has already been asked before, but do you have any tips for writing Ford?

Thank you and I'm sending you a virtual hug <3 🫂

Hey!

Thank you so much <3

I'll put some of the stuff I find helps me below here. I find it really hard to describe sometimes so if it doesn't make sense or if you want clarification then let me know :)

Be familiar with the source material. This might sound silly but I've seen fics where the a/n is like 'yeah I haven't read Journal 3 or finished the show but I wanted to write-' .....Please. Just. Finish the show and the Journal. The Journal gives you TONS of useful insight into Ford's actual personality and I think you see a lot more of his mannerisms in it. Rewatch his episodes. Use what you've got of canon stuff.

Watch other stuff with JK Simmons in. It'll be helpful for you to pick up how he sounds and then make it easier replay his tone in your head and make your dialogue more accurate. I don't actually know how helpful this tip is bc I brought this up to my partner (RE: Hearing the character's exact voice in your head as you write) and they said this isn't really something people do, so I'm not sure if I'm alone in that technique or not....? (also sorry Mr Simmons but a lot of your movies are d o g s h i t! So, suffer through them as much as you can for the sake of research. Whiplash isn't in the bad pile though btw, it's one of the greatest movies ever made. Just watch that 14 times in a row until you can quote the entire thing by heart. Or use Portal/Cave Johnson audio. Much more fun.)

Know the Ford you're writing. Is he younger, likely at college? Is he research-era? Is he post-portal? Ford presents (at least to me) as multiple different versions of himself over the course of his journey. He has fundamental traits but the degree to which he displays/shows/acknowledges/applies them varies dramatically depending on where he is in life and who he's around.

Balance him. He's strict and sharp and sometimes rude, but not so much that he's devoid of all other emotion. He's funny and he likes to get silly sometimes. We're literally told that exact thing (quite a lot actually) in the canon material. This is especially relevant if you're writing post portal Ford or pre-Bill/pre-obsession-with-work Ford. Again, he isn't all the time but he definitely is more than people give him credit for. If you're writing Ford during his Bill obsession stage then he's going to be erratic and harmful, more than anything to himself. He's going to be acting poorly because he isn't in his right mind, so extend some sympathy to the guy. You don't have to make it okay that he might be lashing out and hurting others, obviously, but there's a reason behind why he's acting like that. He isn't just 'a bad guy'.

However, he is also an asshole sometimes. Everyone can be. He's very diverse. This diva HAS the range! (He experiences the world in a very different way to most other people, I think, so his behaviour can be perceived as difficult to 'normal' people).

Ford is never one emotion at a time. No character is. If he's angry, there's going to be a reason behind that anger and then several emotions behind that reason. Is he telling someone off because he's intrinsically and irrevocably an asshole? No! He might have been afraid of them getting hurt and snapped at them, and the fear shows as anger. Maybe he's frustrated with them and doesn't know how to appropriately address that frustration. There's always a reason.

If he is just being a bit of jerk, because that's plausible, it's not going to be the case that every time he does something that can be perceived as being jerky, that he is being so.

He is very full of love. For his family, for his work, for his friends, for his object of affection (these tips apply to him in general, if you're writing ship stuff or reader stuff or gen). He is full to the brim with it, he just struggles to identify it, to know how to show it and how to express it.

I think that for Ford, acknowledging his feelings is a bit like touching a hot stove: He recoils from them immediately because feelings are painful and intense, and they're hard to handle. They hurt and he's going to be loathe to keep touching the thing that reliably burns him every time he goes near it. Ford isn't very good at being bad at things and he IS bad at emotions. Really bad. They're not finite or logical or able to be proven like science is. They're artistic and available for interpretation, and they're often nonsensical. That's hard to get your head around for someone who likes to view everything from a black and white perspective.

If you think he has a disorder (autism, BPD, NPD, HPD, whatever) and you yourself don't have that thing, then RESEARCH THE FUCKING THING! Ask people who do have it for advice. Treat it with respect. People that have 'negative traits' from these types of disorders (and believe me, people do think you're awful if you have a personality disorder or autism) are not inherently bad people and them enacting their symptoms doesn't make them evil, provided they know how to acknowledge their wrongdoing post behaviour and try to do better in the future. If I split on someone and act out by starting a fight, it is my responsibility to return to that person and apologise for inappropriately starting a fight once I've cooled down. It can be hard, it can be done through gritted teeth, it will be uncomfortable, but it must still be done because I'm an adult. Obviously, when it comes to things like this, we're always working on a sliding scale because people with complex mental health issues don't always know they've made a mistake so they may not feel like they need to apologise/may not even know that they've done something wrong if they're in a really bad episode. That's difficult to get right however, and I would not recommend writing intensely detailed stuff like that unless you're very used to/accustomed to the disorder.

HE KNOWS HOW TO SAY SORRY and he knows when he's fucked up. This is a skill he's learnt better over time. I think it would be most relevant to use if you're writing him post-portal, though. I don't think this was a skill he had when he was younger/pre-portal and if he did apologise, it was something that had to be really dragged out of him.

Show that he's tender and capable of empathy. I think it was only really during his obsessional years that he locked off that part of his brain, and even then it was more out of pure delusion and trauma/self-protection than it was an inherent drive to be evil. He's never been evil, just misguided, betrayed and a bit of an ass at times.

He does more through action than through talk. In comparison to Stan, who is all mouth and uses verbal communication frequently, Ford is more physically inclined. He tries to be very esoteric but he gives away a lot in his behaviour instead of talking. I don't actually think he knows he does this and that's why he thinks he's super mysterious.

If you're stuck on a scene, play it out as him. Not yourself. It's not so much how am I going to do this, but how is Ford going to do this? What do you think Ford would do in that moment, according to what you've seen him do in the show?

Don't be afraid to make your own Ford, to a certain extent. I'm not writing about a strictly canon!Ford. He's informed by canon for the most part, but he's also my little barbie to dress up and be silly with. I don't necessarily have to solely make him do what I think his canon counterpart would do. I think canon!Ford is aroace/just not interested in romantic or sexual relationships. I don't think he has interest in much of the stuff that my fanon!Ford does, but this is fantasy land and Ford isn't real so we can do whatever we want. He'll feel more real if you give him his canon traits and then add some of your own spices to the recipe on top.

Be nice to him. This isn't advice, I'm just begging you LMAO. When you're writing him talk about his science stuff or whatever, have your other character (reader, I presume?) be engaged and happy to listen to him. I wouldn't be interested in someone who annoyed me with their passions, so don't write it as though he pisses you off because the audience can tell if you don't actually like him that much. They will pick up on how you really feel about a character as the author unless you're an excellent liar and it's really hard to actually lie like that and retain a sense of genuine love in your story. Just treat him with love and care. Treat any character with it.

Okay anyway WHEW that's a lot! Sorry. These are just things that I do and they're not my view of how to write Ford 'correctly' or anything, they're just what I find helps me characterise him for my fics. I'm sure plenty of people would disagree with my interpretation and that's fine, we're all receptive to art in different ways so there's not really a 'right' way to be for the most part. Just listen to what he tells you/shows you about himself and the way in which other characters speak about him truthfully.

[suzukiblu]

Excerpt from the next chapter of "think pink", a.k.a "Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it":

Kon flies into Gotham as surreptitiously as possible, meaning "as thoroughly concealed by the smog and cloud cover as possible", which given the amount of smog and cloud cover usually works out pretty well for him. Today's definitely no less cloudy than usual, and he's landing in the marina in no time. Well–specifically, he's landing in a subtle little out-of-the-way corner of the marina that Tim's previously pointed out to him where his neighbors probably won't notice either a Superboy or a Wonder Girl coming down.

Probably.

Eh, it's whatever. If they notice, Kon'll handle it. Not like he's not used to lying to Gothamites about what the fuck he's doing in their city and why they shouldn't flip the Batsignal over it, after all.

Not that said lies always keep the Batsignal from getting flipped, but still. It's been like fifty-fifty.

Well, sixty-forty . . . ?

Maybe seventy-thirty.

Kon waits 'til nobody's immediately around and super-speeds his ass across the dock to Tim's houseboat. There's an unnecessary amount of security on the thing because Tim is a paranoid little freak and a half and every single Bat alive is literally made of trust issues, but he already knows there's nothing that'll clock him on the deck. Well, nothing aggressive, anyway.

This ain't his first Bat-rodeo, and all that.

He punches in the code for the lock on the door, and the code for the other lock on the door, and the code that'll keep the needles covered in neurotoxin from spraying into his face when he opens said door. They wouldn't actually hurt him, obviously, but Tim would get annoyed if he wasted them.

He seriously wonders how the guy was ever under the impression that Bernard didn't know he was a superhero, but he guesses it's possible Tim assumed his boytoy thought he was, like, somebody's evil henchman or a merc or something.

Or just literally insane. Whichever.

And it is Gotham.

The door swings open, Kon very carefully steps on the correct floorboard, and then he slips inside and heads down into the bowels of the boat, or whatever the inside of a houseboat is called. It's a little cluttered down here but not quite a mess, and Kon's been here as many times as Tim's been willing to let him come but still not nearly often enough.

He has an odd, random thought of just staying, for once, and isn't quite sure where it came from. Which–well, he's staying for the weekend at least, right? Assuming the world doesn't try to end again, anyway.

So maybe not so random.

Sometimes Kon really does want to just hang in Gotham with Tim until Batman runs him out of town, but he never pushes it that far. He doesn't want to deal with that fallout or with Tim coming up to him to tell him he's being too much or too needy or just fucking weird or . . .

Yeah. Well.

Kon cracks into Tim's fridge and steals a can of Zesti. He's a little more of a Soder guy, at least lately, but it tastes better coming out of Tim's fridge anyway. It makes him feel kind of like a normal guy who just goes over to his normal buddies' places to do normal things–whatever those are–and has normal permission to just rifle through their normal food and take whatever.

Technically Kon has permission, in the sense that Tim's never rigged the Zesti to explode in his face, but he's never actually explicitly asked. He wasn't really sure if that was one of those things that normal people ask or one of those things that normal people just do, and now it's a little late to check, so . . .

Kon's life experience has been fucking weird and wildly varied and stupidly fragmented and generally speaking he just begs forgiveness rather than ever ask permission. He's a grown-ass clone, he can do that.

Okay, he's technically only physiologically a grown-ass clone but also he's arguably over a thousand years old, or maybe more like four or five, so whatever. Being a superclone is weird and confusing and his point stands.

Kon sips his stolen Zesti and wanders around the boat, idly avoiding assorted traps and tripwires. He doesn't go into the bedroom, although it's kinda tempting to just go wait in there, possibly without the company of any of his clothes.

He wants to talk to Tim at least a bit before they go full long weekend on this situation, though, and also like . . . meet Bernard as an actual person and not just a voice over the phone or that one random disgustingly cute couple-selfie that Tim had very dorkily and shyly and grudgingly shared in the group chat the last time Bart had actually won a bet against him.

That stupid selfie was adorable. Kon had absolutely saved it and is not a weirdo who just randomly looks at it sometimes. There's a lot of stuff like that on his phone, alright, he's got a whole folder of "shit to look at when the world sucks". Most of it's Krypto being dumb and sweet or the team messing around and being silly together or stuff like that. The one disgustingly cute Tim and Bernard selfie is a mere footnote in that folder.

But it is in that folder.

Like . . . of course it is.

Kon thinks about pulling out his phone and looking at that picture again. He's aware it's a weird thought to be having right now, though, so he doesn't act on it. Kon operates on instinct a lot but he doesn't necessarily trust all his instincts, given his thoroughly fucked up socialization experience and random mind control triggers and the biological influence of a certain gene donor who shall not be named.

Kon hears a pair of accelerated heartbeats approach the boat and feels two people step onto and hurry across the deck above, one's footsteps significantly louder than the other's. He hears a lot of buttons get pushed. Then the door at the top of the stairs yanks open and he glances towards it. Either Tim or a very convincing evil doppelganger of Tim is standing framed in the doorway, looking very slightly flustered and just barely winded. Bernard is clustered up behind him and laughing, and much more winded himself.

Well, that's flattering.

"Hey there," Kon says, and grins up at them.

"We need to establish boundaries, hard no's, and safewords," Tim says immediately, absolute freak that he is. Kon is not even slightly surprised.

"God, you really do just look like that, huh," Bernard marvels, his eyebrows shooting up. He's even cuter when he's not being a cell phone pic, and especially cuter when Kon's being gay. Unsurprisingly, Kon figures. "I always assumed a whole lot of really skilled Photoshop was involved in you. Or at least a whole lot of real good makeup and real precise angles."

"He's annoyingly photogenic, actually, you don't even have to try to make him look good," Tim informs him resignedly. "So you can imagine how he looks when you do try."

"That's a terrifying thought, actually," Bernard says approvingly.

"Safewords, huh?" Kon says as he sets aside his mostly-empty Zesti, not even pretending not to be preening under the compliments. So he's easy; at least he's self-aware. "That sounds promising."

"You were talking about some guy putting you in a collar and keeping you as a pet," Tim says flatly. "We definitely need safewords, I might get carried away."

"Promises, promises," Kon hums, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets and sauntering towards the bottom of the stairs with a wolfish grin that he may or may not have learned from an actual wolf. Like, just speaking of certain beast-men that he's known and all. "I told you, I was feral then. You know I'll be a good boy for you, Rob."

"Ohhhhh we've sure gotten ourselves into something here, huh, babe," Bernard says with a delighted grin as Tim puts a hand over his face and just sort of . . . exhales in that one specific way that he does when it's all going to shit in a fight or on a mission and he just needs to steady himself for that one second before the doors blow in.

Kon likes that, he thinks.

He really likes that, actually.

[tidesreach]

The phrase "good representation" should not refer to whether or not the character is a good person. It should refer to their queerness being handled appropriately or not.

Does the story respect their queerness? Is their queerness portrayed honestly and genuinely? Does it lean into ignorant or malicious tropes about queer people?

agreed, absolutely! also. prefacing this with: my original post was about 911 (abc) and broke containment. so i'm not entirely sure whether you are a 911 watcher or not, but i am taking the opportunity to answer it in that context because it touches upon the points you made. the post is broad enough that it is applicable to many other things, which people have been applying it to. and that's fine. but specifically, it was about 911 and a subset of fans demonising and harrassing an actor who expressed his wish for the bisexual character he plays to explore himself post-break up via casual relationships. the argument from this subset of fans was that this is biphobic and would be "bad" bisexual representation because it perpetuates the idea that bisexuals are sluts. and, well. i think that in itself is incredibly harmful. it's restrictive and it's reductive. for a plethora of reasons. but specifically—

1) that people consider the exploration of sexuality via fun, consensual casual sex with multiple partners (or just the existence of bisexual people who do not wish to be monogamous) nothing more than a trope is problematic. the insistence that the only "good" bisexual representation is depicting bisexual people in long-term monogamous relationships and nothing else is not progress. it's the opposite of progress. bisexual people, queer people in general, are not a monolith. and i don't think we can or should consider bisexual people/queer people in general well-represented in media when that representation does not explore multiple, varying experiences. and i think, actually we need to talk more about how actively harmful it is to queer people that when those experiences are genuinely explored, they are labeled "bad". like, we need to consider that it is doing actual harm to real people to see their experiences described that way, to see their experiences ignored because they're not "good" enough. we cannot destigmatise these experiences if we simply refuse to depict them.

and 2) the slut-shaming element. i could write paragraphs on this. but it comes down to this: considering these experiences inherently bad actively perpetuates slut-shaming.

which is where i think intent comes in. because obviously, these experiences have been depicted with maliciousness and ignorance in various media. they have been framed as bad in-media or are disingenuous in their depiction. which i think is the point you are making. in the case of 911, that is not what is happening. the actor himself made a post that highlighted this. they are not depicting this as a bad thing, but are in fact coming at it from a place of care and consideration. specifically

so. yeah. that's the context here.

[skaldish]

What would you say to someone that says something like "I'd rather study hard science than believe in myths made by humans"? Obviously it was a conversation about spirituality and religions and this person very clearly has put science in the place of God, but I'm really speechless when something like that happens.

(it might be a bit of a useless question, I apologize)

I guess it depends.

In my experience, most people dig their heels really hard into "science over religion," as a reaction to something that came up inside them.

For people with religious trauma (whether they recognize it as such or not), hearing someone talk about religion can recall the memory of how it felt to have religion overpower them. When someone says something like the statement you mentioned, it's to reinforce their own sense of agency in the face of that bad somatic memory resurfacing.

Even if such statements are intense, they're rarely actually personal; they're a reaction to the memory, not a reaction to the present conversation.

In these situations, I actually reply with something like, "Yeah, I don't blame you. The way Christianity works has major issues." Or say things like, "I mean, whoever believes mythology literally comes from the mouth of the divine clearly doesn't have their head on straight."

I say these things because it helps people get out of that defensive mindset. When it comes down to it, a big reason why a lot of folks are uncomfortable with religious talk is because they've experienced people trying to convert them that way.

But when it becomes clear to them that I'm not wholly uncritical of religion, it opens the door to further discussion about it, especially if the topic moves away from "our individual beliefs" and towards a discussion about the meta of religion and spirituality; how it functions as an anthropological phenomenon.

I've actually had long conversations with atheists about it. Many of them do in fact have thoughts on the matter and will avidly get into it, and it's during these conversations that I'll offer disambiguation about religion and about science as it comes up. And it really just is disambiguation; I'm not actually trying to persuade them of any one thing or another.

Keep in mind though that mileage varies. Even if you were to engage the person you mentioned this way, you may not be able to point out they're just substituting God with science. This would shed light on the fact they're still thinking like a Christian; that even though their thoughts have changed, their pattern of thinking has not. And if they haven't come to terms with the existence of that thought-pattern yet, then the act of pointing this out will only make them mad.

But I think this is where my advice sort of runs dry. It doesn't really feel invalidating of my spirituality for someone to come at me with a hard "science-only" stance. That's because a) I love science, and b) my own spirituality is not based on "having faith" in any way, so challenging my faith doesn't actually do anything because I don't believe in anything without evidence.

When people bank hard into atheism, my reaction is generally, "Well yeah, that's a reasonable response to have to religion kicking the shit out of you." It's only when an atheist is being an asshole to me because I have a spirituality do we have a problem.