#obviously experiences vary but yeah

[catamaris]

really fun seeing all these trans yomiel discussion posts bc there's nothing more trans than being (literally) detached from your own body and seeing it as a vessel + wanting "rebirth" and to "grow old in a society that would accept him". he's all four — the fujoshi (good boy line), the trans allegory, the autistic individual, and the struggler

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[realbeefman]

i know chase obviously wins the religious trauma competition but can we please talk about how foreman was not only raised by a deeply religious father, but was most likely raised BAPTIST. no wonder he’s so repressed. the baptist experience is like. you’re in church every sunday listening to a man scream about how love is something that should hurt. you believe in a good, loving god - but to believe, you have to accept that true love is painful. that to be a good person, you must suffer. to love is to endure it, to work mercilessly. you’re not worthy of the love of The Almighty, and you never will be, and that sense of unworthiness is fundamental to having faith. when you sin, you don’t just hurt Him, you hurt everyone around you. you make the world worse because you have dared commit the sin of existence — to be human is to be sinful. to be loved is to feel unworthy and pathetic and hopeless. like YEAH no wonder foreman self isolates and is emotionally closed off. he was taught from BIRTH that he is fundamentally unworthy of love, and that in accepting love, he is also accepting that he truly is worthless.

[pyreo]

handful more dunmeshi thoughts:

I like how their ability to cook is cumulative. they still have stock or leftovers from previous episodes making each meal more varied or better balanced, it honestly feels super enriching having solid evidence that their situation improves the more they experiment.

I like that the main party are immedaitely shown to be veterans of exploring this dungeon, and were fully expecting to comfortably handle the final boss. They're familiar with the layout and overall logic of the place, and how to co-exist as a diverse group.

I like that it's not horny. I mean yeah there's the dwarven upskirts but that just feels like realism. I know there's some kind of yuri bathroom thing but we've been told since episode one that is based on deep-seated emotions. what I mean is nobody is drawn sexily, nobody is getting gratuitous fanservice for no reason, nobody is lusting over other characters. there were even sirens and the opportunity was not taken to draw them like sexy temptresses. All things considered, they are in a work environment. I enjoy this, everybody has more important things to do.

It's based on dungeons and dragons/roguelikes/RPGs obviously, but in a loose method that doesn't get hung up on itself. Also the problems they solve are always realistic/a matter of pragmatism or efficiency rather than having to be more powerful than something else. solutions are based on critical thinking (good example - making a flail out of a vial of holy water because ghosts pass through the glass and get smacked by the water)

An extention of that, it's fun how much logistics and realism form the basis of their problems. Nothing is handwaved. The central dilemma is staying fed and that is a challenge. They can't cross a hall of water in a boat, because two of them wear heavy armour, and would sink. They do not even leave sightlines of each other without informing someone else where they're going, so the alarm will be raised if they don't come back. They're all capable in their own ways and this directly leads to solutions requiring group effort.

also look at these marcilles

[transmutationisms]

I have always been wary of the psychiatric industry, but its only very recently that i started to read anti-psychiatric works. Your blog is the first time i saw that the "chemical imbalances causing mental illness" is a myth, and honestly its something im having a hard time wrapping my head around.

Is it that mood regulation struggles, labelled as a mental illnesses, has more to do with outside factors instead of the person "just being that way"? Is it therefore unlikely for someone to have struggles with mood regulation if they cant identify any external causes that would cause them to be, for example, extremely agoraphobic or to have anger management issues? Im asking this for myself mainly, cause i always had intense agoraphobia no matter how i often go outside my home (in fact it was worse when i was a teen and i was outside the house in even more back then). I cant think of any reason for me to be like this than chemical imbalances in my brain.

the specific 'chemical imbalance' myth i was talking about in this post is the idea that depression is caused by low serotonin, and that therefore SSRIs—serotonin re-uptake inhibitors, ie drugs that cause a higher level of serotonin in the brain—ought to cure or at least ameliorate depression. this conjecture is belied by the fact that SSRIs don't, at a population level, reliably perform better than placebo.

although a neurobiological cause of 'mental illness' has long been the holy grail of psychiatry, the serotonin imbalance myth is far from the only hypothesis that psychiatrists and neuroscientists have proposed. so, a critique of the serotonin myth is not synonymous with, or generalisable to, a critique of every neurobiological mechanism purported to explain psychiatric diagnoses. you may be interested to know, though, that genomics and neuroscience have not identified a biological cause of any psychiatric diagnosis (p. 851).

all human experiences are biologically instantiated, including in the brain and wider nervous system. we are embodied beings. however, it is a leap to assume that such instantiation is automatically equivalent to a causal explanation or disease etiology. in other words, to deny that psychiatric diagnoses are known to be biologically caused does not mean we deny that thoughts and thought patterns express in the physical matter of neuroanatomy. this is a major philosophical sticking point to keep in mind whenever you're looking at something like, eg, a study that purports to show 'brain differences' in those assigned a certain psychiatric diagnosis. another thing to consider is whether these papers are plagued with methodological issues or financial conflicts of interest.

i can't possibly tell you why you exhibit agoraphobia. however, when i talk about social, economic, and environmental factors that may contribute to the patterns of behaviour labelled as 'mental illness', i'm talking about much more than the individual choice to leave your house. since phobias are 'anxiety disorders', i might start by probing into questions like: is the world you live in safe? do you perceive it as safe? do you or your community face existential threats that may confront you more obviously when you go outside? are you nervous around other people, and if so, might that be connected to fears (well-founded or not) about interpersonal violence and harm? do you think any of these anxieties may be connected to the hostility and inaccessible design of the social environment and economic conditions?

human behaviour and thought varies. some of those variations may be totally benign; others may be helpful or harmful to the person living with them. it would be weird if every single one of the 8 billion people on earth experienced precisely the same amount of anxiety about any situation, no? all of this is to say: yeah, it's entirely possible you have been, for one reason or another (genetic, neuroanatomical, social, &c) predisposed to experience high, even debilitating levels of anxiety when leaving your home. most human characteristics develop from a tangle of social, environmental, material causes—ie, from a combination of 'nature' and 'nurture'. what doesn't follow, though, is the claim that there is therefore a discrete, 'diseased' element of your brain or brain functioning that can simply be cured or eliminated through psychiatric intervention.

it is a critical point of anti-psychiatry to challenge psychiatric and neuroscientific claims to neurobiological determinism where psychiatric diagnoses are concerned. this is for many reasons, including: a) that these claims have not been demonstrated to actually be true [see above]; b) that they rob pathologised people of agency and self-determination [see: you're too sick to know you're sick, and the doctor will fix you now]; c) that they are often pushed by pharmaceutical companies with financial interests, or grant-funded researchers with... financial interests; d) that they are politically seductive in various eugenic, hereditarian discourses that seek to eliminate the biologically 'unfit' element from society.

[feartoxinjelloshot]

clipsverse SWAP AU! for fun! character elaboration under the cut because it gets kind of wordy:

selina's deal is pretty straightforward: she has the typical “saw parents die as a child" backstory, but she’s obviously not a millionare so she’s operating out of some kind of condemned underground parking lot... somewhere. authentic gotham grunge i guess. she’s a functioning alcoholic and i am obsessed with her. she's a hardboiled detective like batman, but tends to be a bit more cynical - sort of like if rorschach from watchmen was a normal person and also didn't hate sex. firefly is her "guy in the chair" similar to what alfred is to batman in canon, minus the surrogate parent part, obviously. public opinion is pretty split on if the bat is a man or a woman under there. i don't really have swap ideas for the robins ironed out, but i'm thinking that cass and stephanie are her robin and red hood equivalents (cass being dick, stephanie being jason). cass would have an allblack bird theme going on, so she might be "crow" or "blackbird" instead of robin. dunno what stephanie's red hood rendition is like. purple hood? i'll figure it out eventually.

bruce’s parents are alive, but he has a terrible relationship with them and with his own wealth so he mitigates the guilt complex by dressing up as a cat to steal and redistribute resources to people who actually need it. he could probably do that in daylight but there is something very wrong with him. i don't think his dumb slutty playboy persona is entirely genuine even without his parents' deaths, but he does lean into it more and incorporate parts of it into his vigilante persona over time. i think this version of bruce is just generally very lonely under the surface. he tries to be normal in his daytime life and he's very bad at it - theft aside, in a certain sense being the cat(man? woman?) is his own break for freedom; he felt a need to plunge himself far into the deep end of what normal society calls a 'freak'. ...writing it out like this, we're probably lucky he didn't start killing people. fortunately batman isn't really that kind of guy in any universe.

meanwhile on the other side of the rails: ivy! her deal is slightly unformed right now due to the fact that the hatter and the joker also swap places in this au - so the hatter is a dangerous, evil mastermind intent on controlling gotham to suit their whims, and the joker is... just a harmless silly little guy. yeah. i don't have swap-hatter's exact personality ironed out yet, so detailing his and ivy's dynamic would be difficult, but i can say that while she is his loyal second-in-command at his table of advisors, she is also plotting against him. ivy is a consistent loner in both mainline cv and here, and while she doesn't have the same tumultuous, antagonistic, emotional relationship with him as harley does with the joker, she is also frankly not interested in being his number one until the end of time. she wants to do it herself and she wants to do it right. this is an ivy who, in lieu of her own world-altering gift, is scraping tooth and nail to successfully supersede the most powerful entity she can her her hands on. the hatter is blissfully unaware of this - we can't all be perfect.

harley, for her part, is very tame in comparison. she mirrors ivy's canonical backstory pretty closely: an esteemed scientist studying stem cell relations who was denied funding, mocked, and forced to experiment on herself to prove a point, unwittingly connecting herself to a worldwide hive-mind of plantlife. this version of harley, while still dressed as a scientist, is far more surface-level emotionally volatile than mainline ivy, more impulsive and irrational, and probably willing to lean much farther into the classic poison ivy reputation as a villainous seductress, to varying degrees of honesty and success. it takes ivy an incredible degree of patience and control to maintain the mental and physical balance she strikes with the green, and this version of harley has far less of both. she lets it use her body as a conduit of earthly rage and she lets the poison infect her skin and organs until mottled and decaying. she's not unhappy, but she's not exactly stable, either.

jonathan is a mysterious, faux-sleazy lounge singer who lost his left arm to a snake bite infection as a child and thereafter became obsessed with the symbolism of the balance of life via games, tricks and questions - winning and losing, birth and death, etc. the ouroboros is a common symbol in his theatrics. he possesses a certain degree of social confidence that the mainline jonathan has never quite been capable of - while he doesn't have the same fervent need for attention as edward, he takes a compulsory delight in the mental influence he achieves on small crowds and will employ many avenues to get ahold of it. he's certainly not outgoing: he keeps almost entirely to himself offstage, uninterested in fame outside of his show persona. unlike mainline jonathan who views the scarecrow as a genuine self-inflicted diety, this jon sees his persona as more of a mantle or responsibility that he must take on in order to discover new truths about the world. like his canon counterpart he is asexual and uninterested in sex, but i imagine that he has less qualms about leading people on as an act to get what he wants from them. he's not terribly famous in his singing career, but he's become a bit of an underground legend for his resolute 1920s-inspired style and occasional genuine debonair charm.

edward in comparison is not nearly as ritualistically compelled as mainline scarecrow, but he’s far less cagey about his own machinations and his mental relationship to them: he lives in a tricked-out barn somewhere on the far outskirts of gotham, and he spends his time as a propmaster creating elaborate saw-trap-esque haunted houses and escape rooms to invoke panic in his “guests”. he wanders the halls of his own houses along with the guests, repairing and tinkering, or just scaring the shit out of them. he also makes a genuine living by making and selling cosplay props and other related objects online; he's developed a bit of an internet presence through this channel, though he's not as fixated on it as the mainline riddler would be. he still craves spectacle and attention, but he's more of a "quality over quantity" guy according to his own standards and is rarely happy with the work he creates, hence the endless roundabout of creation and reinvention.

[trans-axolotl]

I think the reason psychosis is always viewed as a crisis by non-schizo effected people is cause neurotypical people are always told and believe that an episode of psychosis is the most terrifying thing that could happen. Like at least from my experience, descriptions, talks, and depictions of psychosis is AS something that's deathly scary to not know (and assumably never again know) what's real and what isn't, some depictions showing any episodes as worse than death. Like obviously that's not true but it stays with people; the telling of "it's the worst thing that could ever happen everytime" and definitely made the first few times I dealt with psychosis and hallucinations a lot worse and a lot scarier

yeah! so much of the messaging around psychosis and schizophrenia is so fucking dangerous because of the way it continually reinforces these ideas that psychosis is always terrifying, life-ending, and the worst case scenario. like that can have materially dangerous impacts on the lives of people living with psychosis/altered states. i think that kind of stigmatizing messaging about psychosis really demobilizes people in our communities and convinces people that they don't have the capability to support their loved ones with psychosis, and instead creates this idea that "professionals" are the only ones who could ever actually support someone through psychosis. and that leads to so much more forced institutionalization, pathologization, violence towards people experiencing psychosis, and just really a lack of the kind of proactive community support that could actually help prevent some kinds of crisis and distress.

i think it also makes it really hard for us, when we start experiencing psychosis/altered states for the first time, because there's really no framework for us to understand and cope with our experiences beyond just "this is the worst thing ever and there's no options for me." i think it creates a lot of forced shame and secrecy, as well as pushing a lot of us into more intense crisis because we have nowhere to go to get support. and like, when you google this half the shit that comes up tells you to call 911 immediately, and when you're someone who can't do that because it's dangerous for you, you're just left with no fucking options or getting pushed into treatment options that don't respect your autonomy.

i wish there was a lot more recognition that psychosis/altered states are something that can happen to anyone, and actually do happen to a lot more people to varying degrees and in different contexts. that psychosis is something that it is possible to live fulfilling and meaningful lives with. that you don't need to be an expert to support someone living with psychosis/altered states. and that there is so many ways of living with psychosis, and that antipsychotics and therapy are not the only options, and should never be a forced option. i also have so many thoughts about how desperately we need informed consent for antipsychotic medications and how fucking mad i am about the amount of information that is withheld from psychotic people about the side effects of our meds, the withdrawal experience, dosages, other options, etc etc etc.

anyway i just really recommend that everyone, whether you're someone who experiences psychosis/altered states or not, learns more about psychosis and do the work to challenge all these internalized myths we learn from society and the psych system. i highly recommend checking out the hearing voices network, and also really recommend Project LETS anticarceral altered states training to learn more ways to help support yourself and your loved ones.

thanks for this ask, i really agree with what you're saying!

[olderthannetfic]

TL;DR: multiple people can arrive at the same fanfic idea/premise in different ways, but also, getting inspired by a different fanfic is not stealing, please don't gatekeep!

I joined a new fandom (it's Resident Evil (RE), which I'm mostly mentioning for that one 'nosy' anon because hell yeah I am super nosy as well, so here you go, dropping some names!), and I quickly stumbled upon one fandom-specific plot trope that I thought was both pretty neat but also super obvious (Infected!Character fic, which, in a world with zombies and viruses that cause zombies is a very logical trope).

Anyway, there was not quite as much body horror as I thought there would be, although I'm still looking, but that's not why I'm writing to you, that's just the (un)necessary background.

There was this one fic that I opened, which in its Author's Note clearly stated that the author set this fanfiction in another author's AU, because they loved the world created by this first author. The first fanfiction author basically came up with their own Infected!Character design and backstory (including fanart), and the second fanfiction author liked it so much they were now writing this fic based on/in that AU. Obviously not quoting the AN directly, but this second author was very complimentary and explicitly mentioned where they got the idea from, gushing about the first author.

In the AN for chapter two, the second author stated that they weren't aware that that first fanfiction author didn't allow others to write about the Infected!Character AU they'd made, that that first author in fact only allowed a very limited number of people they publicly approved of to write about their AU, and nobody else was allowed to touch the Infected!Character AU. This second author was now apologising in the AN for not knowing this, plus mentioning that they changed chapter one to switch up the backstory & design to not be too close to that of the first fanficton author's AU.

That made me sad, honestly. I've seen this attitude a couple of times, where fanfiction authors are super protective of their ideas that they won't allow any other fanfiction author to write about them, and it's always struck me as a little bit hypocritical, given the whole deal of fanfiction. Especially when the original/first fanfiction author is credited and the inspired work is clearly done because the second author loved the first fanfiction so much. If it's a highly developed/specific and original AU (so not just any common trope), and you don't even mention the fanfic you were inspired by, then I find that rude, but just flat out not allowing people to even touch 'your' thing? C'mon!

This partially ties into my other gripe about a specific type of comments I occasionally get, which are along the lines of 'huh interesting idea where did you get it? bc/btw there is this other fic with the same idea (posted before you)'; idk if I got the tone right, but they never seem to be actually genuinely asking how I got the idea (and I always delight in telling them, not sarcastically, I genuinely love talking about this stuff, bc I get inspired by the most random things and I love love writing 'original'/new things!! I love tropes as much as anybody, I read a shitton of them, but i when I write I love coming up with new shit/plot! it's so fun!!). They just vanish after my explanation, even when I try to invite further conversation. It always feels to me like they're 'checking' that I didn't steal the idea, and it feels a bit lousy.

I mean in (larger) fandoms, it is not surprising at all that two or three or even more people arrive at the same idea, maybe even inspired by the same thing, same reading of canon, or not, varied experiences--and just because the works are similar doesn't mean that they were inspired by one another, but if they are, that's not a sin! I just want people to not take everything in bad faith, and also, to not 'disallow' others from getting inspired, especially when they do it in a very polite manner!

It's because of comments like these that I sometimes, very privately, worry that before I'll manage to post the long fic I spent months writing--because I'm one of those who wants the thing finished before I start posting--somebody else will have a similar idea, post their thing first, and then I'll look like I'm lying about not reading/stealing their idea, or just jumping on the bandwagon, which again, it's not a bad thing, actually.

And it shouldn't be like that! I shouldn't worry, and people should also be more willing to accept that authors can arrive at the same idea at (roughly) the same time & accept that explanation without side-eyeing the author, and that if an author is inspired by a different fanfic, that's not a sin either (in fact, for me it would be an honour).

None of this is new either, but that RE stuff reminded me of it again.

Oh man, this is way longer than I thought it would be. Apologies. I'm going to add a TLDR at the start.

Anyway, I'm going to finish writing an Infected!Catboy!Leon fic now and be very unsurprised if I find out that somebody else has had the same idea long before me (aside from one or two reader fic inserts with that topic that I stumbled upon on tumblr, bc that's just not my thing at all (reader insert, I mean)).

--

In college, friends of mine had a falling out over one of them "stealing" the other's fic idea.

Space pirates.

Not specific space pirates. Not a way of integrating the concept that was fandom-specific. No, just the general idea of space pirates in the same fandom.

Never have I facepalmed so hard.

[allthegothihopgirls]

just finished reading death in the family properly and. whoo the racist undertones are racist undertoning. but uh. wanted to say that i cannot understand why people hated jason back then because like. he’s just a kid. he’s a KID. shaking 80s fans by the shoulders he’s a CHILD. he’s not gonna be a mature adult he’s gonna be a little weird and a little annoying even!! but he is a KID.

also wanted to ask your opinions on the jason has chronic pain headcanon? i personally as someone w chronic pain really enjoy it because it makes sense and i am a firm believer that we need more representation of invisible disabilities like some chronic pain is (and mine is) but ive heard a few people say they don’t like it

— baptism anon

right?? like yeah i think jason dying was the most beneficial thing to ever happen to his character, and he also had next-to-no defining traits as robin apart from being a dick grayson carbon-copy + replacement... but i don't get why people hated him.

~

jason w/ chronic pain!!!!!! oh boy i have feelings about him... i LOVE.

especially when it's death-induced.. a bit like phantom feeling/pain, but instead it is. very. real. like, he has chronic joint pain in places where joker hit him a few too many times etc. personally i reject the 'lazarus pit made him squeaky clean' canon, so on top of him keeping all his scars, and being more frankenstein than man.. chronic pain fits in very well.

i also definitely enjoy headcanons of him with chronic migraines.. not because i'm projecting.

i think it's a pretty agreed-upon headcanon that jason isn't a fan of medication in the slightest, due to his mother's death (only making exceptions when he's sustained more than a minor injury on patrol or a mission and is being tended to).

so i propose, stubborn jason w/ chronic migraines, who will never admit to needing actual medication. obviously he isn't going to be stupid about it, he won't patrol if it's too bad, and maybe tries to ward it off with some regular ibuprofen. but he is so against being properly medicated for prevention or treatment, and gets super defensive if dick or bruce suggest it to him.

he's always in varying levels of head hurt™ and just. lives with it. in the comfort of his own apartment he's definitely not a stranger to herbal teas and heat packs though.. however at the same time he's 100% beating himself up whenever he can't just power through.

i don't think he'd actively tell anyone either. dick figures it out from the way he'll rub at his temples post-patrol, or maybe a couple of unclosed search tabs on a computer 'whydoesmyheadalwayshurt' or 'home remedies: how to naturally prevent migraines'

for bruce finding out i have a bit more of a developed idea. jason's gone out patrolling with a migraine, against his better judgement. he's on comms with bruce, who's getting his assistance on a case he's been tracking. seemingly out of nowhere he hisses a little in pain, and bruce is asking what's wrong.

jason grows defensive quickly and spurts out a routine "imfinedontworry" but was apparently not convincing enough because before he knows it bruce is asking "status?" ..and he swears there's a microchip in him somewhere that forces him to give a truthful answer, because it's not like he wants to tell bruce his head's hurting, because that's just plain embarrassing. he doesn't want people thinking that he can't handle pain that miniscule.

between that and the other times he's been asked "red hood, report" and stated his condition, adding on a "head hurts a bit too, but that's just normal".. it wasn't difficult for bruce to suspect something unusual.

moving away from migraines, i think he also experiences chronic joint pain. compared to the previously mentioned, it's easier to play joint pain off as 'normal' and convince himself there's no cause for concern. he's 100% in denial of having an actual issue, which i'd like to think somewhat comes from bruce experiencing the exact same thing, and jason watching him absolutely refuse to admit any weakness it causes him.

he ends up believing it's just something that happens to everyone (well, at least everyone who dresses up and fights crime on the regular). jason's confused when dick's asking him if he wants to stick around for a chat post-patrol, because is dick not also desperate to go home, ice his joints, and spend time doing stretches to ease his pain before finally getting some sleep?????

i don't think he'd realise that it isn't a normal thing until he's called out on it. maybe he makes an off-comment about 'never feeling 75%, let alone 100%' comfort-wise, and damian remarks how that is. an issue. jason's instantly defending himself "yeah well that's just what happens when you've been in the business for this long-" and dick chimes in to point out that he doesn't feel like that. from there i think he goes to an even larger effort to hide any pain he's in.

big believer in jason being a cane user too. i think babs is the one who convinces him to start using one, after the events of this panel ↓ ↓ ↓ 

you cannot tell me that she's letting that comment slide: "that book looked... useful" plus "i don't think i've ever been okay", ok jason mr 'i really resonated with this and now i'm having revelations' todd.

she's 100% sitting his ass down for a real talk about whatever he has going on.

and i think afterwards, babs suggests that he really considers mobility aids. to which i think he ends up being very accidentally ableist, in the 'but those are for old people' way. it takes... a lot to reverse his somewhat internalised ableism, and get him to at least try a mobility aid out.

he grows less opposed to it as he realises that it's not something he's obligated to use all the time, and that it works. so he uses a cane around his apartment, and around the manor when he gets to be confident enough (he's a bit worried of people asking questions, but no one even bats an eye, because it just makes sense).

i have a whole other set of thoughts about the batfamily + how they go about jason using a cane... but i think i've gone on for long enough.. my apologies

in conclusion... chronic pain!jason todd is a HUGE headcanon of mine. love it a lot.

[suzukiblu]

Excerpt from the next chapter of "think pink", a.k.a "Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it":

Kon flies into Gotham as surreptitiously as possible, meaning "as thoroughly concealed by the smog and cloud cover as possible", which given the amount of smog and cloud cover usually works out pretty well for him. Today's definitely no less cloudy than usual, and he's landing in the marina in no time. Well–specifically, he's landing in a subtle little out-of-the-way corner of the marina that Tim's previously pointed out to him where his neighbors probably won't notice either a Superboy or a Wonder Girl coming down.

Probably.

Eh, it's whatever. If they notice, Kon'll handle it. Not like he's not used to lying to Gothamites about what the fuck he's doing in their city and why they shouldn't flip the Batsignal over it, after all.

Not that said lies always keep the Batsignal from getting flipped, but still. It's been like fifty-fifty.

Well, sixty-forty . . . ?

Maybe seventy-thirty.

Kon waits 'til nobody's immediately around and super-speeds his ass across the dock to Tim's houseboat. There's an unnecessary amount of security on the thing because Tim is a paranoid little freak and a half and every single Bat alive is literally made of trust issues, but he already knows there's nothing that'll clock him on the deck. Well, nothing aggressive, anyway.

This ain't his first Bat-rodeo, and all that.

He punches in the code for the lock on the door, and the code for the other lock on the door, and the code that'll keep the needles covered in neurotoxin from spraying into his face when he opens said door. They wouldn't actually hurt him, obviously, but Tim would get annoyed if he wasted them.

He seriously wonders how the guy was ever under the impression that Bernard didn't know he was a superhero, but he guesses it's possible Tim assumed his boytoy thought he was, like, somebody's evil henchman or a merc or something.

Or just literally insane. Whichever.

And it is Gotham.

The door swings open, Kon very carefully steps on the correct floorboard, and then he slips inside and heads down into the bowels of the boat, or whatever the inside of a houseboat is called. It's a little cluttered down here but not quite a mess, and Kon's been here as many times as Tim's been willing to let him come but still not nearly often enough.

He has an odd, random thought of just staying, for once, and isn't quite sure where it came from. Which–well, he's staying for the weekend at least, right? Assuming the world doesn't try to end again, anyway.

So maybe not so random.

Sometimes Kon really does want to just hang in Gotham with Tim until Batman runs him out of town, but he never pushes it that far. He doesn't want to deal with that fallout or with Tim coming up to him to tell him he's being too much or too needy or just fucking weird or . . .

Yeah. Well.

Kon cracks into Tim's fridge and steals a can of Zesti. He's a little more of a Soder guy, at least lately, but it tastes better coming out of Tim's fridge anyway. It makes him feel kind of like a normal guy who just goes over to his normal buddies' places to do normal things–whatever those are–and has normal permission to just rifle through their normal food and take whatever.

Technically Kon has permission, in the sense that Tim's never rigged the Zesti to explode in his face, but he's never actually explicitly asked. He wasn't really sure if that was one of those things that normal people ask or one of those things that normal people just do, and now it's a little late to check, so . . .

Kon's life experience has been fucking weird and wildly varied and stupidly fragmented and generally speaking he just begs forgiveness rather than ever ask permission. He's a grown-ass clone, he can do that.

Okay, he's technically only physiologically a grown-ass clone but also he's arguably over a thousand years old, or maybe more like four or five, so whatever. Being a superclone is weird and confusing and his point stands.

Kon sips his stolen Zesti and wanders around the boat, idly avoiding assorted traps and tripwires. He doesn't go into the bedroom, although it's kinda tempting to just go wait in there, possibly without the company of any of his clothes.

He wants to talk to Tim at least a bit before they go full long weekend on this situation, though, and also like . . . meet Bernard as an actual person and not just a voice over the phone or that one random disgustingly cute couple-selfie that Tim had very dorkily and shyly and grudgingly shared in the group chat the last time Bart had actually won a bet against him.

That stupid selfie was adorable. Kon had absolutely saved it and is not a weirdo who just randomly looks at it sometimes. There's a lot of stuff like that on his phone, alright, he's got a whole folder of "shit to look at when the world sucks". Most of it's Krypto being dumb and sweet or the team messing around and being silly together or stuff like that. The one disgustingly cute Tim and Bernard selfie is a mere footnote in that folder.

But it is in that folder.

Like . . . of course it is.

Kon thinks about pulling out his phone and looking at that picture again. He's aware it's a weird thought to be having right now, though, so he doesn't act on it. Kon operates on instinct a lot but he doesn't necessarily trust all his instincts, given his thoroughly fucked up socialization experience and random mind control triggers and the biological influence of a certain gene donor who shall not be named.

Kon hears a pair of accelerated heartbeats approach the boat and feels two people step onto and hurry across the deck above, one's footsteps significantly louder than the other's. He hears a lot of buttons get pushed. Then the door at the top of the stairs yanks open and he glances towards it. Either Tim or a very convincing evil doppelganger of Tim is standing framed in the doorway, looking very slightly flustered and just barely winded. Bernard is clustered up behind him and laughing, and much more winded himself.

Well, that's flattering.

"Hey there," Kon says, and grins up at them.

"We need to establish boundaries, hard no's, and safewords," Tim says immediately, absolute freak that he is. Kon is not even slightly surprised.

"God, you really do just look like that, huh," Bernard marvels, his eyebrows shooting up. He's even cuter when he's not being a cell phone pic, and especially cuter when Kon's being gay. Unsurprisingly, Kon figures. "I always assumed a whole lot of really skilled Photoshop was involved in you. Or at least a whole lot of real good makeup and real precise angles."

"He's annoyingly photogenic, actually, you don't even have to try to make him look good," Tim informs him resignedly. "So you can imagine how he looks when you do try."

"That's a terrifying thought, actually," Bernard says approvingly.

"Safewords, huh?" Kon says as he sets aside his mostly-empty Zesti, not even pretending not to be preening under the compliments. So he's easy; at least he's self-aware. "That sounds promising."

"You were talking about some guy putting you in a collar and keeping you as a pet," Tim says flatly. "We definitely need safewords, I might get carried away."

"Promises, promises," Kon hums, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets and sauntering towards the bottom of the stairs with a wolfish grin that he may or may not have learned from an actual wolf. Like, just speaking of certain beast-men that he's known and all. "I told you, I was feral then. You know I'll be a good boy for you, Rob."

"Ohhhhh we've sure gotten ourselves into something here, huh, babe," Bernard says with a delighted grin as Tim puts a hand over his face and just sort of . . . exhales in that one specific way that he does when it's all going to shit in a fight or on a mission and he just needs to steady himself for that one second before the doors blow in.

Kon likes that, he thinks.

He really likes that, actually.

[skaldish]

What would you say to someone that says something like "I'd rather study hard science than believe in myths made by humans"? Obviously it was a conversation about spirituality and religions and this person very clearly has put science in the place of God, but I'm really speechless when something like that happens.

(it might be a bit of a useless question, I apologize)

I guess it depends.

In my experience, most people dig their heels really hard into "science over religion," as a reaction to something that came up inside them.

For people with religious trauma (whether they recognize it as such or not), hearing someone talk about religion can recall the memory of how it felt to have religion overpower them. When someone says something like the statement you mentioned, it's to reinforce their own sense of agency in the face of that bad somatic memory resurfacing.

Even if such statements are intense, they're rarely actually personal; they're a reaction to the memory, not a reaction to the present conversation.

In these situations, I actually reply with something like, "Yeah, I don't blame you. The way Christianity works has major issues." Or say things like, "I mean, whoever believes mythology literally comes from the mouth of the divine clearly doesn't have their head on straight."

I say these things because it helps people get out of that defensive mindset. When it comes down to it, a big reason why a lot of folks are uncomfortable with religious talk is because they've experienced people trying to convert them that way.

But when it becomes clear to them that I'm not wholly uncritical of religion, it opens the door to further discussion about it, especially if the topic moves away from "our individual beliefs" and towards a discussion about the meta of religion and spirituality; how it functions as an anthropological phenomenon.

I've actually had long conversations with atheists about it. Many of them do in fact have thoughts on the matter and will avidly get into it, and it's during these conversations that I'll offer disambiguation about religion and about science as it comes up. And it really just is disambiguation; I'm not actually trying to persuade them of any one thing or another.

Keep in mind though that mileage varies. Even if you were to engage the person you mentioned this way, you may not be able to point out they're just substituting God with science. This would shed light on the fact they're still thinking like a Christian; that even though their thoughts have changed, their pattern of thinking has not. And if they haven't come to terms with the existence of that thought-pattern yet, then the act of pointing this out will only make them mad.

But I think this is where my advice sort of runs dry. It doesn't really feel invalidating of my spirituality for someone to come at me with a hard "science-only" stance. That's because a) I love science, and b) my own spirituality is not based on "having faith" in any way, so challenging my faith doesn't actually do anything because I don't believe in anything without evidence.

When people bank hard into atheism, my reaction is generally, "Well yeah, that's a reasonable response to have to religion kicking the shit out of you." It's only when an atheist is being an asshole to me because I have a spirituality do we have a problem.

[chemblrish]

Subatomic particles from a chemist's point of view - part II: the proton

[part I: the electron]

Proton

In my subjective opinion, the runner-up in this informal ranking of subatomic particles that are important in chemistry. Protons may not form chemical bonds like electrons do, but they still play an important role in many chemical reactions, especially in organic chemistry. But their most meaningful task that places them right below the electron on my list is this: they quite literally define the elements.

Atomic number

Let’s put our Mendeleev hats on and have a look at the periodic table. Here, I’ll upload it for you so you don’t have to google it:

It doesn’t take a genius to realize the elements are compiled in an orderly fashion rather than a random one. What is the property that generates this order? You could say mass – that the elements are arranged by their increasing mass – but that’s not quite true.  Sure, most of the time it is true, but there’s a handful of oddballs that refuse to fit this scheme. Argon and potassium, for example: argon has a mass of 39,948 u (units) while potassium has a slightly lower mass of 39,098 u. The difference isn’t big, but nevertheless if we want to arrange our elements by mass, we have to place potassium underneath neon and argon underneath sodium.

Obviously, we can’t do that. The cool thing about the periodic table is that there are several trends encoded in it, one of them being that the elements of any given group are usually fairly similar to each other. Group 18, where argon normally resides, is reserved for noble gases that are extremely chill and not eager to react (they might’ve taught you in school that noble gases never ever react with anything ever; THAT’S A LIE! But it is true that their chemistry is scant and their reactions rare). Potassium could never fit in with them. Fucker explodes in water the same way sodium does – which is yet another proof it belongs in the same group! Also, COOL EXPLOSION HERE!

This isn’t the only such strange pair in the periodic table: cobalt and nickel are like that too, and so are tellurium and iodine. It isn’t much – but it’s enough that we have to look for some other physical property to define the order of the elements. For some time, chemists and physicists had to accept this discrepancy (not that they were happy about it; I imagine they’d wake up at night drenched in sweat, screaming, “GODFORSAKEN ARGON!”). The atomic number, this sort of ordinal number that put every element in its place, was actually random, as in, not based on any known physical property. Yeah, potassium has an atomic number of 19, but why?

ENTER HENRY MOSELEY!

Henry Moseley conducted a series of experiments in which he zapped various elements with X-rays (I’m so jealous), then analyzed the resulting emission spectra. It turned out that the atomic number is proportional to the square root of the emitted radiation, which in turn depends on the proton count in the nucleus. This is what defines any given element: the number of protons it has. This is THE definition, the one you learn very early in your chemistry journey. The number of neutrons may vary among the atoms of the same element (because isotopes) and atoms can gain or lose electrons by becoming ions, but that doesn’t turn them into different elements. Only the number of protons is always constant for one and the same chemical element.

Organic chemists love protons too

And for more than one reason at that – because hoo boy, does a proton stir some shit in ochem!

My ochem lab instructor pointed to the mechanism I’d written on my lab report once and asked, “What does the acid do in this reaction?”. Very plainly I said, “It’s a source of protons which act as a catalyst,” to which he gave me his standard shit-eating grin and said, “They all are.”

And he wasn’t wrong! If you analyze a bunch of organic reaction mechanisms then you’ll see they very often begin with a proton (so H+) attaching itself to the substrate (or a lone electron pair on the substrate to be precise, because Coulomb force, right?) and thus initiating a chain reaction of sorts that leads, frequently through many infuriating steps, to the product. Take a look at the synthesis of aspirin, for example:

[via wikipedia]

You don’t need to understand everything that happens here. What matters is this first step I circled: a proton attaches itself to one of the substrates and starts the whole reaction.

The second reason I have in mind for why organic chemists love protons is NMR: nuclear magnetic resonance. NMR is a method of instrumental analysis and it’s cool as all fucks actually (as long as you don’t have to analyze the spectra because what the heck are those spikes), but this post is about protons, not NMR, so here’s the gist: you put your organic sample in the NMR spectrometer. The spectrometer drenches your sample in a magnetic field (which is probably why small dogs with metallic collars aren’t advised in an NMR lab). The spins of the protons in your sample (yes, protons have spin too!) go wooo! and align themselves in a specific manner. The computer connected to the spectrometer spits out a spectrum that tells you what your sample looks like.

Properties of the proton

Charge: positive one elementary electric charge, the exact opposite of an electron (how convenient!): +1.602×10^(−19) C

Mass: 1.673 × 10^(-27) kg – which is roughly 1837 times the mass of an electron. I want you to say, "Whoa, that's a lot!" right now because shit, it really is! And that's a great thing, because it gives us cool stuff like the Born-Oppenheimer approximation.

Radius: 0.841 fm (femtometers), but make no mistake: just like electrons, protons abide by the wave-particle duality, because they hate us all. I just remembered when my quantum chem professor told us during a lecture that even buckminsterfullerenes exhibit wave-particle duality. These are molecules made up of 60 carbon atoms. Sixty carbon atoms!! I almost cried, but I was sitting in the front, so I had to compose myself.

[project-sekai-facts]

Pspsppspspspsp…,. Any weird facts on how sekai works? Specifically wondershow if you can, but from what I know is that in general sekai will kick you out forcibly if your phone dies, school sekai has no daylight cycle, wondershow has a Victorian ages style library, empty sekai is so big you can get lost in it, and street sekai has a city

Okay I'm going 100% Wonderland SEKAI on this because I can and I have some stuff scheduled already about general SEKAI lore. And because holy shit Wonderland SEKAI is interesting.

Without further ado, 8 facts about Wonderland SEKAI...

Under the cut due to length

This doesn't display well on the desktop dashboard I apologise for that.

Wonderland SEKAI fact #1: KAITO might have been stabbed.

This is all the same magic show, just three different references to it (and a minor inconsistency that Tsukasa gets told about it twice). These are from an area conversation, Miku's Wonderland SEKAI 2* story 1, and KAITO's Wonderland SEKAI 2* story 1. Either KAITO really is that flexible or Virtual Singers cannot die. This probably applies to all SEKAI not just Wonderland but I just wanted everyone to know about KAITO getting stabbed.

Wonderland SEKAI fact #2: Miku seems to be younger than the members of WonderlandsxShowtime.

In an area conversation, KAITO says he thinks Emu would be the oldest if she and Miku were sisters. However, in this conversation he seems to be mainly referring to personality, so there is a possibility that Miku is still her standard age of 16 and just acts younger than she is. That said, the ages of Virtual Singers do vary through other SEKAI (particularly School), which adds a bit more evidence for this fact.

Wonderland SEKAI fact #3: Plants are sentient.

They're alive. They talk. They sing. They have conscious thought. Alice in Wonderland type shit. (Sources: KAITO's Troupe Positions Open 3* card stories, @/pjsekai_eng's translation of 4koma #72)

Wonderland SEKAI fact #4: Wonderland SEKAI is the only SEKAI with distinguishable inhabitants (not counting Virtual Singers)

While the Stage SEKAI has audiences that come and go, we don't know much about them and they don't seem to have any defined personalities or characteristics (it may be an instance of leaning on the 4th wall). Wonderland SEKAI is inhabited by plushies and puppets, all of which have their own individual personalities and free will. KAITO believes that these may be plushies that Tsukasa played with and performed shows with as a kid. You'll see this again in a bit.

Wonderland SEKAI fact #5: Since everything in the SEKAI is pulled from Tsukasa’s psyche, not all the plushies are based on shows he wrote as a kid

For example, Usa-chan. She seems to be based on a younger version of Saki, where she was more sensitive and would need cheering up a lot. Obviously connecting to Tsukasa's main drive being making people (specifically Saki) smile.

One more notable example is the cat and dog plushie from Full Power! Wonder Halloween!. The dog plushie is very obviously meant to be Tsukasa (it even has a star on it), and the cat is Rui (and it has cameoed in his cards a few times). In the event story, Tsukasa and Rui had an argument due to Rui holding himself back after a stunt gone wrong, and the cat and dog plushie have a very similar conflict, albeit the cat plushie representing Rui is much more aware of it's feelings.

KAITO's A Chat With The Lost 4* card story shows him making a different (although possibly the same, the story contradicts itself) pair of dog and cat plushies resolve a conflict and open up to each other. Yet again, the plushies very obviously represent Tsukasa and Rui.

TLDR: Tsukasa's feelings and experiences work their way into the SEKAI in real time through the form of plushies.

Wonderland SEKAI fact #6: Oh yeah literally everything in the SEKAI reflects some aspect of Tsukasa.

I find it interesting how KAITO tells Rui that he should go and talk to Tsukasa about it but then to Emu and Nene he gives a more confident answer. It's a nice little detail that ties into Rui's character (read: he didn't have a lot of friends at this point).

Linking this back to the previous fact, it does seem like the other members of WxS do have some influence in the SEKAI, specifically over their plushie equivalents (since the cat plushie has the exact same internal conflict as Rui that Tsukasa had zero knowledge about at the time). The power of friendship I guess.

Wonderland SEKAI fact #7: Wonderland SEKAI manifests as a response to Saki asking Tsukasa why he wants to be a star.

But that doesn't sound quite right, does it? It's stated constantly that SEKAI are created by strong feelings, and this is true in all other stories (Ichika thinking about how she had drifted apart from her friends, Minori reminding herself to never give up and keep aiming to be an idol, An's declaring her dream while Kohane wished she had one, Mafuyu's depression and longing to find herself). So it really sticks out that Tsukasa's SEKAI is formed by this:

Sorry about the wiki screenshots

There's not really any strong feelings here... In all other instances, the SEKAI are formed by a concious desire for something, and yeah okay, Tsukasa seems to want to remember why he wants to be a star, but at the same time it doesn't seem hugely important to him (not pictured but he drops the train of thought just after this) and the SEKAI isn't born from that anyway. The SEKAI is born from the feelings that he was trying to remember, which implies that the SEKAI was formed by his subconscious.

Further supported by Miku immediately picking out the correct reason for him wanting to be a star in chapter 3 of WxS' main story.

And in the Opening chapter of the same story where KAITO explicitly mentions that the SEKAI is nostalgic to Tsukasa, suggesting that he knows exactly what Tsukasa has forgotten. Tsukasa himself had noticed that it seemed nostalgic, although he denies it when KAITO brings it up.

Oh and then he somehow manages to remember everything by the end of the story and like I'm not a psych student but that doesn't seem right? Honestly from what I do know about psychology the situation sounds like a repressed memory but it doesn't sound 100% accurate either? I dunno, maybe it's just fantastical psychology coming into play (it probably is).

Regardless of all of that, it implies that you can somehow form a SEKAI through subconscious/repressed feelings which is really interesting actually.

Anyway they're probably never going to elaborate on any of that in the game because...

Wonderland SEKAI fact #8: the game goes out of its way to not tell you Wonderland SEKAI lore, and if it does tell you, it's usually not clear

For example, this area conversation. KAITO doesn't tell them directly and we never find out if they learnt the answer.

Or this area conversation (very abridged) where KAITO doesn't even know the answer.

Or the fact that Rui still hasn't had that talk with Tsukasa that he said he would have in KAITO's 2* card. Or that KAITO isn't 100% certain about the things he says about SEKAI. How do more plants grow in Spring? Does the Wonderland SEKAI have a plant lifecycle or do they just never die? How is Miku seemingly derived from Emu despite having existed before Tsukasa had ever encountered Emu? (I know Kohane and An hadn't met either but Kohane was at least watching An's performance. Miku actually mentions "others" in the Main Story Opening which means there's some more weird fate shit going on. The power of friendship I guess.)

The other SEKAI have their quirks explained (for the most part) but everything in Wonderland SEKAI kinda just exists and is never really explained beyond "it's something from Tsukasa's psyche". I mean there's stuff from other SEKAI that isn't explained but it just seems like there's a bit more here.

I mean you can infer a fair amount of stuff just from Tsukasa as a character but I want the game to talk about it to make my life easier I have a fact account to run I need evidence. Tsukasa please be less emotionally constipated, sincerely, mod.

If you made it this far I'm sorry.

Love is stored in the WxS KAITO <3

Bonus Wonderland SEKAI Fact #9: this is a mistranslation and KAITO should be calling Tsukasa the top star-to-be and not himself. Poor TLs aside KAITO does seem to be like, Tsukasa's "ideal self" for lack of a better description. Also Len takes traits from Rui while being a foil to him, MEIKO takes some traits from Emu, Rin is a foil to Nene, Miku seems to be a mirror character to Emu but don't ask how that works and Luka is derived from ???

[nitewrighter]

what are your thoughts on the metallo drones since you seem to be a huge hank henshaw fan? I know he's metallo in the comics, or at least that's what osmosis has told me.

Oh boy time to be insufferable---

~Actually!~ Hank Henshaw is Cyborg Superman! Later just shortened to The Cyborg! But also I can understand how it would be easy to mix up Metallo and Cyborg Superman. Anyway, you've activated my trap card so I'm going to infodump now.

If he's a human brain jammed in a mostly-robot body with a Kryptonite Heart, that's Metallo!

Metallo's original human identity was John Corben and they've varied the origin story a bit. The earliest appearance of Corben's Metallo actually had Corben as a reporter at the Daily Planet! I even make a callback to this in my "Life In Plastic" fic. And because his Robot Body made him bulletproof there was a whole mixup where Lois thought *he* was Superman's secret identity and he was like "hell yeah, baby, I'm totally Superman."

Both this and his later Byrne Rebooted Origin more or less had him as "Criminal who got his body destroyed and replaced with a robot body with a Kryptonite heart."

The comic Superman: Secret Origin had him be a soldier that was favored by Lois's Dad, General Sam Lane and concordantly was kind of a creep towards Lois. Which lead to this frankly iconic exchange:

This Corben Metallo-fication is basically the result of a military experiment gone sideways.

Superman: TAS had him as a mercenary on Luthor's payroll, but they gave it a particularly piquant twist by having him be a bit of an epicurean--he liked good food and hot babes and all the finer things in life being a Lex Luthor-funded mercenary could give him-- but then OH NO! Lex Luthor secretly infected him with a retrovirus to force him to transfer his consciousness to a robot body and also he's got a chunk of Kryptonite jammed in his chest now! Courtesy of Lex Luthor!

He can't taste! He can't smell! He can no longer feel the warmth of a woman! (Actual line from the show, btw) And he's so pissed about it!! Also the whole "can't feel the warmth of a woman" thing also leads to him creeping on Lois.

So it's kind of interesting that, beyond the "Robot Body with a Kryptonite heart" concept, basically the one thing that's kind of been consistent with Metallo across his incarnations is... being a creep towards Lois.

So to bring this back to the Metallo Drones in MAWS... honestly I don't really register them *as* Metallo because they're drones and for me, the core of Metallo's character is like... human desires and human selfishness in contrasted with this monstrous, unstoppable, Terminator-like frame. The other core of Metallo's character is obviously his Kryptonite heart. Like, I mean sure you could see them as extensions of the Amertek CEO's selfishness, but the name seems more like a callback than an actual iteration of Metallo, and also they clearly have some very specific ideas of what kind of properties Kryptonite has in this show, so it's likely they can't have the Kryptonite heart for Plot Reasons. And like... I'm okay with that. I'm okay with this version of Superman kind of being contained by its own tech-y logic and you don't need to bring in the entirety of his Rogue's gallery to tell a good story. But like, also Metallo I think is supposed to feel a bit... personal. This is a dude who has a core of the Rock That Kills You and he's creeping on your girl! You really don't get that personal feeling from these drones. So y'know, I'm gonna miss him, but I'm also just seeing how they build up these drones and the rest of the villains in this show right now.

Now Hank Henshaw--! He's Cyborg Superman and in the comics he makes his big (cyborg) debut with the whole Death/Reign/Return of Superman saga! His origin story is basically he was an astronaut who, along with his crew, got exposed to Space Radiation, Fantastic Four style, only it fucked them up and made most of them die horribly, with the exception of Henshaw's wife. It's Adventures of Superman #466 if you ever want to check it out. It's incredibly fucked up but also pretty fun. But basically everyone thought Hank died from the radiation, when actually he transferred his consciousness into the technology of the lab around them, shooped his consciousness into some Kryptonian tech, and then popped up for "Reign of the Supermen" as Cyborg Superman (spoiler alert if you haven't read it but also PLEASE READ IT--the nuking of Coast City and the villain turnaround and Green Lantern coming in with a steel chair is SO GOOD).

I do love the idea of a villain being someone who was both collateral damage from one of Superman's previous adventures, but also someone Superman ultimately failed to save. I have no idea what direction they're going to take with Hank Henshaw in MAWS, but I LOVE that he has a lot of Superman's classic appearance--especially with the little hair curl in front! It suits him so much!!

[ronearoundblindly]

So I was rereading this ‘This All Day’ from Fools Rush In that I absolutely loveeee. ( btw Fools Rush In is by far the most character accurate Steve fic I’ve ever read. You know him so well 🥰 ) In the fic where it’s like, “He won’t get hard until you’re warmed up with his fingers—not your fingers, mind you, because he got very defensive that one time”

I was wondering if this referencing a one shot where this happened and maybe I missed it cause thinking about how that conversation went down is hilarious but also so sweet. I find it endearing that he’s defensive about it. HE wants to be the one to do it- so sweet 🥰

How do you think Steve would react if she ever wanted to introduce toys into the bedroom? (possible fic idea?). I wonder if he’d be hurt by this and also take it as him not satisfying her properly.

🥴

Oh. Yeah. Right. Caught that line, did ya? Heh...

I'm gonna put this under a cut lol. We shall be discussing adult things.

Steve (if you've read all of FRI's 'Do You Two...Fondue?') has quite a few insecurities about sex, in general, but there is specifically a prowess he would prefer, which is to be the one and the only one to get you off. He doesn't like the idea of not being enough or not knowing how to be enough for his girl, right? But he doesn't exactly have a ton of experience, and his go-getter attitude tends to drop off just shy of "how do you want my dick" obviously.

You know I love Steve, but he doesn't only not have the words for sex--can't dirty talk worth beans because he can't really say things like, well, any of it, not pussy, cunt, dick, or cock, he'll say 'breasts' maybe but otherwise it's just "him" inside "you"--but he also has hangups about varied sexual acts, toys absolutely included in that concept.

He's honestly so slow and tender to warm up to new that he mistook what was meant to be a simple show of how excited and desperate he'd made you (i.e. toughing yourself while he got undressed) as him not being thorough in his foreplay, affection, and general sensuality. Steve doesn't get angered by these things; he gets upset. He gets sad.

There has never been a more laughable and heart-breaking moment in bed for you than the hurt look on his face. It's his duty, his privilege, his job to please you. Don't take his job away from him!

(None of that was in a specific one-shot, just sorta implied throughout.)

I actually think Steve went on several long missions away before realizing you might have wanted/needed to get off without him, and at first, he hates that idea. I think he'd pitch a fucking fit if you had toys for those occasions--even if the use of them is rarer once you two are physically intimate--and yes, you're correct in thinking he'd raise hell at the idea a toy can do something for you that his body cannot.

Except for he uses his body so carefully for you. He's delicate and hesitant. He's traditional and, buddy, sorry, but often very stiff in his approach. Warm and adoring--totally!--but Steve is obsessed with not harming you.

Nevermind how fucking long the conversation is that dissects the difference between pain and 'a minor discomfort that is in service of showing how intensely you need more of your partner immediately,' he still feels strongly that you should never be remotely unprepared to take him and now he doesn't trust you not to rush it (even though/especially because he was so overwhelmed at that first feeling of you that he just thrust in (Fondue pt.16)). He never stops trying to make up for that. He does not much understand that there is a gray area between pain and pleasure.

Of course, that's partly because that whole spectrum is dulled on him, so he is psychologically and emotionally far more aware of their distinction...as one would be when fighting, interrogating, and/or killing.

It is not the most rational train of thought, but Steve was small and weak. He realized that, as he was naturally, he might not be enough for a partner--but that was because he was small and unhealthy. The serum fixed those things, and frankly, Steve has not come to terms with a big, healthy guy perhaps still falling short of being everything you could ever want or need. He's a man. As forward-thinking as he is, he's still a man who absolutely wants to be your man.

There will come a time when...toys are used as aid in [redacted], but I don't want to spoil too much...

Hope all this made sense, and

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[cowboyjen68]

hi cowboyjen! im a lesbian in my 20s and i need some advice -- i really would like to use the butch label for myself but i hesitate because i worry others dont see me as "butch enough," so what makes a butch, butch?

Butch is something I came into because of my shared experiences with other butches. I see it as partly how I am percieved but also how I see myself in the world. It plays a part in how I relate to to other women and how women relate to me.

Not everyone who wears masculine clothing is butch (ask the women farmers around rural Iowa who are straight LOL) and being butch does entail a certian about of experiences that are common. Butches can't shake off how they are seen by others with clothing or hair styles. The energy is contast and often confuses others into being unsure if we are a man or woman upon first or even second glances.

Butch enough is not really something I put too much stock in. Butches come in all sizes, abilities and have varied jobs and interests.

The most common shared butch stories are being called Sir when someone does a quick take. Being told we "should have been a boy" or "why do you want to look like a man". We look (and feel) obviously awkward in women's dress clothing. I and all my butch friends have several stories of being ushered from or told we are in the wrong bathroom. EVEN when I had a pony tail. We get told by straight women they "wish we were men" or we "must be better than men because we understand women but are still.. you know.. manly".

Aesthetically we tend to prefer men's (read utilitarian) and short hair (again read utilitarian) but this can vary. It is a bit of a generalization. Comfortable clothing is chosen over just pleasing to look at. Let me be clear, there is NOTHING wrong with dressing in things other consider "uncomfortable) because you want to be attractive to any give group of people. Don't yuck other's yum. We all have the right to our tastes but I am speaking from a butch perspective.

Find older butches who resemble you. SIze, body shape etc and talk with them. Butch certianly does not fit everyone but in general those women who feel "butch" speaks to them is probably more accurate about themselves than others can be.

It is perfecty fine to try Butch on for size, just don't get a bit old tattoo or change all your social media right away. GIve yourself some time to decide, Yeah for me or Nah not for me.