#obviously adam would be the one with the gun

[nyandela-catalogue]

oh god i just imagined the ending of “Of Mice and Men” as the conclusion of Adam and Jonah’s arc

[hadesisqueer]

One thing I really like about RWBY as a show is that the heroes do not have a strict no kill rule. Like, obviously, they very much prefer not hurting or killing anyone at all, but if it comes to that, they do not hesitate.

-Tyrian is trying to capture Ruby and kill her uncle and her friends? The moment he gets slightly distracted, Ruby takes the chance and cuts his tail off without a second thought.

-Cinder is affected by Ruby's silver eyes in the Battle of Haven? Jaune doesn't hesitate and the moment she lets her guard down he tries to stab her in the face; had he gone for a slash instead, Cinder would be dead.

-Tock has blinded Maria and is about to kill her? There you go, Maria will decapitate her. Bye, Tock.

-Adam keeps trying to kill Blake and Yang? Oh, he gets stabbed by both of them. No more Adam.

-Ironwood tries to shoot Winter again with that weird gun even though she's a Maiden now? Winter just sends the blast back at him and leaves. Doesn't even check if he's still alive.

-Neo just pushed Yang to the void and they think she's gone? Blake WILL try to cut Neo's head off. And while they're fighting Ruby doesn't hesitate to push Neo off the bridges even if she thought that would kill her.

Which are all like, normal. Those other people are actively trying to kill them or their loved ones as well. Which is why I used to be really confused when I kept seeing some people complaining mostly about the Ruby with Tyrian and the Blake and Yang vs Adam things. Saying they are supposed to be the good guys and they should set an example to viewers instead of maiming or killing their foes.

What example do you want them to set? That letting others kill you and your loved ones is okay? Because that's what was gonna happen; Tyrian had just poisoned Qrow, actually he's lucky Ruby only went for the tail. Adam was not going to stop and he going to take Blake's sword to continue to try murdering her and Yang, who had no Auras either and were as vulnerable as he was. They either did it first or they could die, and they did. It's self-defense. Tyrian and Adam were trying to kill them and they were the ones who started the fights. You fuck around, you're gonna find out.

[t0rturedangel]

Adam x reader where he flirts with her just to see her blush

╭ . . . 𝚐𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚞𝚎 ੭

𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐌 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ♰ ৎ﹕ 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘩 (𝘩𝘤𝘴)

WOOO first Adam request, ngl despite him being a prick i lowkey fancy him so hard, so yeah, also the reader is an angel in this, Adam would NEVER do this to a demon / devil

𝘩𝘤𝘴

✧⠀⨾ Adam is a prick, this is a shock to no one and he always loves to take the piss out of everyone and everything, he is the self proclaimed "original dick"

✧⠀⨾ but there is obviously something very wrong with him when he's around you- he changes, almost becomes tolerable and instead of making fun of your looks or how you acted in his usual perverted and demeaning way- he instead does it in a way to make you feel all sheepish

✧⠀⨾ he loves to walk up to you, defiantly with finger guns or something like that, and say some stupid pick up line: something relating to heaven and you

Adam, the first man and head of the exorcist angels, walked over to you- a shit eating grin graced his face however you were too preoccupied with some angelic duty to notice his presence in the area. Though, unsurprisingly you weren't shocked when he appeared behind you, his clawed hand on you shoulder ❝ hey there beautiful, I know I'm in heaven now, you just look so angelic ❞ and he watched you turn to him, face coloured with a beautiful golden hue that not only increased Adam's ego but also his grin.

✧⠀⨾ it's safe to say that Adam loves seen your face all golden (COZ ANGELS HAVE GOLEN BLOOD AND BLOOD WITH WHAT MAKES YOU BLUSH SO YOU AHVE GOLDEN BLUSH BTW)

✧⠀⨾ Not only does it make him feel even better about himself and his ability to swoon the ladies, he also just adores watching you get all sheepish and 'faint' around him because of his complements, angels are meant to be pure and dont really flirt with each other- so it's weird to have Adam constantly come up to you.

✧⠀⨾ it's also like only you that he does it to, any of his admirers (lets be honest, Adam has girls, and maybe even guys, who want him) are always ignored and they're so envious of you it's crazy.

✧⠀⨾ Dont worry though Adam loves you enjoys making you blush too much so any issues with people that like him and lute will get them for you / him.

✧⠀⨾ if you ever get de-sensitized by his flirts and comments he'll go mental- he find you blushing to be so fun and adorable so if you just stopped it would crush him

[the-lambda-archives-ai]

“Okay. . . Background. . . I was a troubled kid, I’ll just get that out of the way, got into fights skipped school made a lot of questionable choices for my age.

I think it goes without saying I didn’t have a lot of friends, not my fault, my parents were shit, abusive dad and a pushover of a mom who just sat back and watched; I used to tell myself it was 'cause she was scared of him too.

Doesn’t matter anymore.

Let’s just say they didn’t take too kindly to finding out that their dearest daughter wanted to be a boy.

I was. . . on my own, I couldn’t stay at home, they didn’t want me to stay and neither did I; since my parents abandoned me I’d forced myself to go back into the closet, I was afraid that if I was myself people would leave.

Typically people aren’t too keen on letting an angry teenager with a shit load of baggage in, so I had nowhere to go.

Naturally, when I turned 18 I joined the army, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you about all the horrors of the military.

I’m let off 7 years later, and if you thought I had problems before, you wouldn’t know the half of it.

I was more lost than ever before.

Turned out I wasn’t the only one because a little while later I ran into a mate from the army in a bar, turned out we both were from the same little shit hole, and coincidentally both ended up in the same town; we drank, talked, and for the first time I felt like I wasn’t alone, I’ve never had it happen where I talked to a stranger and it feel like we’ve known each other our entire lives, it could have also been the alcohol that made it a bit easier, but we got on like a house on fire.

Adrian was the first guy who ever really understood me, who I felt comfortable around, hell I even worked up the confidence to come out to him, I was scared shitless but he obviously accepted me. . . heh . . .it’s funny ‘cause the moment after I came out, he quickly confessed he thought he was gay, it caught me so off guard that I laughed and said “way to kill the moment.” he said he thought it would make me feel better if he also confessed a secret.

I was lost, but now I had a friend.

I became an officer and shortly after he did too, for the first time in my entire life things were beginning to get on track.

We had a good. . . 6 years? without a major incident, which in hindsight it's crazy either of us made it that long without crashing into a tree or something, but well. . . obviously that didn’t last.

One of the guys from work invited us on a hunting trip, it sounded exciting, I’d never been hunting before and I sure as hell wasn’t gonna pass up an opportunity to get drunk in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of idiots! Adrian wasn’t as excited about it as I was and was more reluctant to agree, but I guess when he heard I was going he agreed to come along.

It was us and 3 other guys in Colorado for 3 days, first couple days were great, we hiked around the mountain, went fishing, shot a couple ducks, got temporarily lost, the usual fun you have camping, it was on the night of the second day I think, that one of the guys, Adam, said he saw something moving around the campsite, Clarke, another guy, whipped out his gun and shot it in the air without warning and said some dumb shit like “well it’s gone now!”.

He got yelled at for being a fucking dumbass, but we all kind of agreed it was probably a deer and long gone now.

Adrian woke me up that night, but in a fuckin- kidnap-cover-your-mouth style, I was gonna yell at him but before I could get anything out he whispered to be quiet.

I- I’d never seen him so. . . scared.

I nodded to him and he slowly let go and inched towards the tent door, I- I asked him what was going on but he just whipped around and glared at me, I kind of just shut up and tried to listen. . .?

I’d thought maybe a bear wandered into the campsite and he’d heard it or something?

We were sat there for maybe two or three minutes before I heard a- something growling. . . it- it wasn’t like anything- I- I need you to understand there is no damn animal in Colorado that could make that noise, it was so low but not like- a natural low, like it didn’t sound real?

It sounded like if you took a dog growling and edited it to the lowest possible setting and added a reverb? Something like that- it- it was so loud I thought that it was around our tent but. . . I realized it wasn’t when I heard Adam scream.

The next part was sort of a blur, something ripped into our tent, gunshots, and we both ran out into the woods, I- I wasn't focused on where I was going- I just kept running, like tunnel vision.

It was dark and cold and at some point I realized I wasn't wearing any shoes 'cause my feet were bleeding, I was completely out of breath and exhausted, I had to stop, I barely had a moment to breathe when I heard the growling start again, it wasn't close but it was loud enough that I knew it was near, and then the growl began to change, it slowly morphed into a laugh, and then it started coming from all directions, it was so loud it- that horrible unnatural laugh rang in my skull and I couldn’t move, I knew I was trapped and- that I’d die here, alone.

A gunshot pierced the woods and all at once the laughter stopped, Adrian emerged from the tree line holding a pistol, he was shaken up but began to make his way toward me. . . I should have known better than to let my guard down, but I was so happy to see his stupid face.

A figure jumped out of the trees at a speed that- I. . . I didn’t even have the time to process what was happening, I just turned over to look and it was on Adrian, he dropped his gun and the thing- it- it almost looked human but was so deformed- it was bloated in some places and skinny in others, its face looked charred, pitch black, the only things visible were its glowing white eyes and teeth- it kicked his gun away and I ran to go pick it up, when I turned back I was expecting it to try to stop me. . . That you know- me running would at least catch it's attention? But it didn’t. . . I turned back to see it mauling Adrian, it ripped into his arm and part of his jaw before I shot it.

It didn’t die, the bullet barely seemed to have affected it, but it was enough to drive it back into the woods, he- Adrian was bleeding. Bad.

I- I was so scared he’d die- I lifted him up and wandered the woods looking for the nearby highway, I walked with him for what felt like hours before the forest service found us, they were already on their way because they heard all the gunshots.

From there I guess I must have passed out because next thing I know I’m waking up in a hospital bed, I was well enough and practically jumped out of bed looking for someone to ask if Adrian was alright, but turned out he was in the bed next to me all patched up and sleeping, it’s weird, despite everything that had just happened, in that moment all I thought about was how we must have truly been inseparable if not even a freaky monster could break us apart.

I probably jinxed it. . . Adrian recovered alright and got a ton of gnarly new scars he covers up but. . . he wasn’t the same.

He became . . . obsessed with hunting down whatever that thing was. . . Metaphorically speaking, he’d never go back to those or any other woods ever again, but, he wanted answers, at some point he learned about the lambda institute and became unhealthily obsessed.

His hunger for answers was what began to drive a wedge in our friendship, the supernatural has him in a chokehold, and I don’t even think he realizes it.

Since his recovery he’s. . . spiraled. . . he’s obsessive, possessive, paranoid, and he does things without even thinking about the consequences, before all this happened he was the responsible one, one of our friends joked that I’ve basically become his babysitter, it was a joke but it’s sort of true.

I knew he was obsessed with the paranormal, but I didn’t find out about his fixation on the lambda institute 'till after yesterdays incident when he confessed about it after we left.

. . . He’s been put on mental health leave for a couple weeks, and he’s barely spoken to me since.

I’m getting worried- I’ve been worried, for his health, our r- friendship, but- now more than ever, he always comes to me for everything, but he’s been getting withdrawn, hiding things from me isn’t- he never does that; from others, yes, but not me, I’m- this is bad, I’m worried about what other things he could be hiding, he hid his obsession for months I don’t- I- I think he’s going to do something, something stupid, he’s gonna get hurt and I need to stop him but I don’t know how, I just. . . I just want my best friend back.

> Statement ends.

Pt 192 > here

Prev > here

[froggy-demon]

Hazbin Cast - On a First Date!

Alastor, Husk, Angel Dust, Charlie, Adam, Lucifer

Requests are open! If you enjoy my writing and want more please send me a request, I’d love to do some in between chapters!

Masterlist

Alastor

Would definitely not tell you it’s a date before hand

“You simply must try my favorite tea shop, join me tomorrow afternoon!”

Recommends his favorite tea once you get there, but compliments whatever you get

Pulls out your chair for you of course

Very confident

Obviously

Also he shadow walks you both there because he lowkey hates walking through hell when he doesn’t need to

Watches you intently as you take your first sip to make sure you do actually like it

Because he knows you wouldn’t complain if you didn’t

And he wanted this to be perfect

But he also just liked looking at you

And watching you

He would make the conversation all about what you like and what you’re up to and how your redemption is going

To hint about how interested in you he is

But he is legitimately interested in knowing all about you

Overall it goes very well

Alastor is an absolute gentleman of course

It is a rare exhibition of his more gentle side

But not too gentle

Not in public

Once you’ve both thoroughly enjoyed your tea he lets you walk back to the hotel together

Totally not so he can extend your time together or anything though

When you both arrive back at the hotel he gives you a bow and takes your hand in his, placing g a gentle kiss on your knuckles

“Thank you for your time, I look forward to our next date. Maybe you can select a restaurant you would like to try later this week?”

Only then do you realize this was a date

He did mean it as in a date date

Right?

Husk

Husk would be very casual asking you out

Not because he actually is calm

No no

He just wants you to think he is super calm and casual and collected

Honestly though he’s a little nervous

Even if he doesn’t show it

He had watched you gun down a handful of goons who were harassing a sinner you were trying to invite to the hotel

Wow did you look good pissed off

That was when it really hit him how much he liked you

Hell even admired you

So of course he wanted to take you out!

Husk would want to take you somewhere nice

Like the swanky Jazz restaurant he loves!

“Y’know if you want a night out of this dump, there’s this really good restaurant I like. They’ve got live jazz music every night! Don’t worry, it’ll be my treat.”

He winks at you after that with a dry, but secretly anxious, grin

He fixes his hair up extra nice for your date of course

Probably retires his bow tie at least three separate times before meeting you at your room door

With him he carries a single flower to give to you

All the way out the door he is giving you compliments

On your outfit

Your hair

Your shoes!

Everything

He doesn’t hold your hand in the walk there

No that’s too intimidating

But one of his wings stretches out behind you like a shield to the rest of hell

Once you get there he is very excited to tell you all about the jazz piece that is being played

You happily listen to him rattle off the history

But then his attention turns back to you

His expression is softer while he listen to you about how your day was

He loves listening to you

And on the way home he shyly takes your hand in his

He doesn’t let it go until you’re back at the hotel

Not quite ready to call it a night he pours you a drink

Your hushed giggles and conversations could be heard into the early hours at the hotel

Just enjoying each others company at the bar

“If you ever need anything, I mean it, I’m right here. How’s about next week I show you this record shop I like? I bet they even have the music you like to listen to!”

Angel Dust

He totally tells you it’s going to be a group thing

But he does not invite anyone else

“Ah I guess the gang got hung up back at the hotel, oh well! We can still have a good time just the two of us right tuts?”

He’d flash you the signature toothy smile and hook an arm around your shoulders

You’d go out to a bar, but one of his favorites

One where he doesn’t know so many people

But the bartender always keeps an eye out for trouble for him, so he felt good taking you here

He liked the way the dimmed lights made your eyes seem to glow

And how you laughed at all of his corny jokes

He always got more corny when he was a little nervous

Anytime someone else even dared to look your way he would eye them down

But mostly he was just happy you seemed happy and having a good time with him

His typical overly flirtatious jokes were fewer and further between than they normally might be

He was more anxious that he might actually need to follow through

Angel also didn’t want to give you the wrong idea

He really liked you

Sure you were good looking

Of course you were good looking

But he also liked the way you looked at him

And how you smiled when you were about to say something funny

How you’re sarcasm rivaled his

How a single soft touch from you made him feel grounded when he needed it

He held himself back from drinking to calm his nerves though

Angel wanted to be fully present with you

And he smiles softer as you told him all about the ins and outs of your day

The night slips away quickly as you both joke around for hours

Eventually he works up the courage to admit that he had been wanting to ask you out

“Well, I always have such a good time with you at the hotel, I thought it would be nice for us to have some time alone. Like on a date, if that’s okay with you?”

And of course it was okay

It was more than just ‘okay’

He lets you hold his hand when you reach for it

Trying to hide the little blush on his face when you do

As the night goes on he makes sure you don’t get over served and is happy to escort you home when it comes time

As he walks you up to your room he ruffles your hair and says:

“I’m glad I got to hang out with you tonight, just the two of us. I like spending time with you, maybe we can hang out more just the two of us? Go on an official date?”

Charlie

Charlie is somehow both overconfident and melting in anxiety at the thought of asking you out

She was very attracted to you of course

And she was prettyyyy sure that feeling was mutual

But so much could go wrong!

What if she tripped on her own feet walking over to you?

And then you laughed?

Well she could admit it would be kinda funny but who wants their crush to laugh at them?!

She would totally have a very school girl crush on you type vibe

Eventually she would plan it out through

With the help of her note cards and a poster board it was perfect!

“Sooo y/n, I was going to go to see this movie and then I was like ‘who goes to a movie alone?’ And then I remembered you saying last week you really wanted to go see this movie, so I bought us tickets would you want to come with me tonight?”

She’d battle her eyes with a huge smile and puppy dog eyes

Not that you needed the puppy dog look to say yes to her offer

You were as ecstatic as she was

The whole way there we would ask you questions about yourself

Your hobbies

Your interests

Your job

General afterlife

Admittedly she would excitedlyinterject her relating stories

Partially out of nervousness and excitement to have things in common

During the movie she would totally be guilty of leaning over and whispering to you to ask questions that where either painfully obvious or you had no possible way of knowing the answers to yet

“Who poisoned her?” “We don’t know yet”

But it was kinda cute

Honestly it was because a fair amount of her attention was actually on if you were enjoying the movie

And how cutely you laughed at the screen

And how the movie lighting seemed to cast a very pretty halo on your hair

During a particularly suspenseful scene she found herself holding onto your arm

She didn’t let go until the credits rolled

Afterwards you chittered about how good the movie was and your favorite parts

She liked the look in your eyes when you got excited about the subject

“This was so much fun, can we go on our next date soon? I bet there are a ton of fun things to do in hell!”

Charlie didn’t get out much, but she knew she would find something to do with you again soon

You would walk back to the hotel holding hands

When she walks you to your room she becomes more shy and gives you a tiny kiss on the cheek before telling you a bashful goodnight

Adam

Okay listen

Yes he is brash

But it’s kinda charming

The awe of meeting him isn’t lost on you either

He is so the opposite of how you would have imagined an Angel

Ever since you have accompanied Charlie to the meeting with him you couldn’t help from thinking about him

Even if he was the enemy

Especially if he was the enemy

And he noticed it at the meeting

The way your eyes glued onto him

He knew that look better than anyone else

So when he was setting up another meeting with hell he specifically told Lucifer that you were the only demon he would consider talking to

Alone

Lucifer tried to argue that’s literally not your job and no offense but like why?

But Adam wouldn’t budge

When Lucifer delivered that message to you, you tried to play it super cool

As if you hated the idea of seeing him again

But inside a piece of you was thrilled

So day of you might have picked out an especially attractive outfit, that’s not a crime!

When you arrived to the Heaven Embassy you were a little surprised to see he was appearing alone

You were more surprised as you looked around the room

Roses were scattered everywhere, the room was only lit by candlelight, a particularly lovely tablecloth was set out over the meeting table

Which Adam sat at the head of with a giant smirk on his face

Of course he was able to clock your feelings from a mile away

“Heya baby, thought you’d never join me!”

He’d motion to the set across from him and you’d nervously take your seat

The theatrics were flattering, or humiliating?, depending on how you looked at it, but a heavenly meeting is still very important so whatever the reasoning is for this must be important

“There is no fucking meeting.”

Oh??

“I just noticed you were hot and well, I’m hot too, and you were looking at me all ‘omg he’s so fucking hot!’ Last time so I figured I’d arrange a little something.”

Gobsmacked would be one word for how you felt in that moment, flattered another maybe more appropriate word

The heavenly figure snapped his fingers and a soft violin began to play in the background

“I’m not typically into the whole ‘talking’ shit, but you do seem maybe kinda cool and I never get to hang with sinners so I kinda wanna know..”

He asked you all about what day to day life was like in hell

Adam would work to keep his mind from just drifting to what you two could be doing right now

But honestly it was pretty fascinating to hear about what it actually is like down there

Sure he’s seen it evolve over the years, but it’s different to hear it from a primary source

He would definitely need to make sure nothing happens to you during the extermination in a couple of months

For a sinner you were remarkably interesting to him

The whole time you were still a bit amazed by the whole encounter

It was a little surreal

“Listen hot stuff next time we gotta do this in my domain, maybe then we can do a little more than just talk. This is surprisingly fun too though! See yah babe!”

With a wink his projection would be gone and you found yourself highly anticipating the next summons you’d get from the first man

Lucifer

You met through Charlie of course

You staying at her hotel and all

He had noticed how your eyes discreetly followed him during his visits to his daughter

At first he wasn’t sure if it was surveillance or attraction

So he came up with a theory

On his next visit before leaving he would make a point to thank you for your hospitality and keeping an eye on his daughter, not that she needed it

He’d take your hand and place a very respectful kiss on the top of it

The blush on your face was confirmation

So the next time he stopped by he had a plan

“Say, mind if I borrow your watchful friend? I could use those eyes to keep a lookout on me for a particular outting after I leave, not too long I promise!”

Of course you agreed, happily

But it was stressful being charged with keeping an eye on THE Lucifer of course

Honestly you had no idea why he had asked you to join him, all he did was stop by the house of some overlord and then go into a bookshop

While in the bookshop you might have paid just as much attention to the books as you did him though

Which was kinda impressive

He liked seeing your smile light up at the sight of a particular series, of which he made a mental note

The time after that he stopped by the hotel you opened the door and almost immediately turned to go get Charlie, but the angel stopped you

“Actually I was hoping to talk to you! Charlie doesn’t know I’m stopping by!”

He’d smile nervously as he pulled out a wrapped gift for you

The first book of the series you had been eyeing!

“I noticed, last time, you seemed rather excited about it back in the shop so I just figured I’d get it for you. As a thank you!”

You were very happy with your gift

And flattered that THE Lucifer even noticed such a detail

“If you’d like, maybe you could accompany me on another outing today? You see I saw a new cafe was opening over here in the Pride Ring and I thought wow y’know who might like to go to a new cafe? I bet y/n would, what a fun time that would be!”

He’d laugh at his own ramble and braced himself for your rejection which would never come

Of course you would love to go with him!

He puffed his chest a little at your affirmative and linked his arm with yours

“Excellent! On the way you can tell me what has you so interested in this book!”

The time passed quickly to get there

The king of hell listened with a big goofy smile as you described the series to him and all your favorite parts while you sipped on your drinks and nibbled your sandwiches

In his eyes, your excitement made you glow

He knew he would have to make a rubber duckie of the main character for you for next time

What a fascinating soul you were

At one point he was even bold enough to reach across and tuck a stray hair back into place

His finger tips lingered ever so slightly on your skin

It practically sent electricity through you

He even dared to hold your hand in the way back to the hotel

This time it was your turn to listen while he explained some of his latest ducks with fever

He was very handsome when he was talking about his gun little ducks

Lucifer wouldn’t dare try to kiss you I. The very first date, but he would place a gentle kiss on the top of your hand again

“Thank you for coming with me, I very much enjoyed our time together! I’d be a very happy man if you’d consider joining me again soon for a second date?”

He’d play it as cool as he could but truly he was giddy when you said yes!

You could totally tell

It was very charming

With one last bow and a wink he would be off back to his home and you would drift back to your room

Unable to hide the smile in your face

[justakidicarus]

Alastor has something he fears.

With how modern media has been going, well written characters are harder to come by, so I am very pleased to see how Alastor is written in the season 1 finale of Hazbin Hotel. Admittedly I did not watch the episode in full, but two major scenes are what I want to talk about.

Adam vs Alastor, and what I want to call Alastor’s interlude (his verse in the final song).

During Alastor’s fight with Adam, Alastor has clear technical advantage, but Adam’s sheer firepower overpowers him. Everyone has probably seen the “What just happened?? … Fuck.” Moment. Now most writers would write another character coming in for a save, or in the context of Hazbin a regular sinner would keep fighting.

Alastor is not your average sinner.

He accepts his defeat and slinks away before Adam can land the finishing blow. This is actually a massive thing no one really talks about, the fact that instead of staying to fight Alastor acknowledged when he was bested and left to fight another day. He is a fucking smart guy but this moment, when he chooses to lose rather than die, is super important to his character, and becomes clear in Alastor’s interlude.

Alastor is terrified of dying.

And I really do mean terrified.

Throughout the song you can hear the emotion in his voice (holy shit did Amir Talai do a good job). His facial expressions are panicked, especially during the line “died for his friends” and the close up at “The constraints of my deal surely have a back door,” that line in particular really capturing the picture of panic and terror. When he first speaks of dying, he looks more angry, but the rest of the verse he just looks terrified. Even if he may be a sinner and thus, has already experienced death, it remains his greatest fear as evident by his reaction to nearly meeting it.

Which makes sense when you look at the context of his death.

Alastor was shot in the head while occupied with burying a body in a hunting reserve. A gunshot to the brain is a quick and near instant way to die, especially since he likely wasn’t aware of the hunter and gun. To him, he heard a loud bang and was suddenly in hell. He has never experienced death properly because he didn’t even have a moment to process that his time was up until he was in the afterlife. Even in the afterlife, as a sinner he can’t permanently die, the only way possible is being killed by angelic weapons.

Weapons like what Adam wields.

Most people believe that Alastor retreated when his staff broke because he couldn’t fight without it, but I actually believe it’s because he realised that Adam could actually kill him. For the first time in his entire life, and afterlife, Alastor was faced with the possibility that he would die. For good.

And he was terrified of it.

He fled not because he couldn’t continue to fight, but because he was scared of fighting Adam and running the suddenly very real risk of dying, but hiding it as best he could. This is obviously made easier by his constantly smiling mouth (which I don’t think he can stop doing if you look at the stitched from his deal with Charlie) but there are a few signs. He loses control of his power such as his left eye and shadow. His ears tilt back as he’s getting up, a sign of distress in animals, and when he first gets up he looks around alert despite knowing the threat is in front of him, classic prey animal behaviour. Not to mention there’s almost 10 seconds where he doesn’t get up and is just on the ground with his face obscured while Vox gives his declaration. These behaviours could be pain related, he does have internal and external bleeding from Adam’s attack after all, or it could be fear based. Still, his interlude leads me to believe it’s a mix instead of solely the former.

Finally his sudden dedication to finding a loophole in his deal with his unknown contractor (I’m hesitant to say Lilith but idk).

From what I can gather by his actions surrounding the hotel and his strange dedication to Charlie and the hotel’s wellbeing, I’m inclined the believe his deal centers around protecting Charlie and the hotel. A deal he now desperately wants out of. It’s no secret that Alastor hates being on a leash (Husker found that out the hard way) but how the fuck did he even end up on one in the first place if he hates it so much?

Simple, he didn’t see it as a bad idea at the time. That or he could have died without it but we don’t know that yet

If what he got in return was a good deal of power or something else he coveted, why wouldn’t he take the deal to play secret bodyguard and watcher for the princess of hell, one of the most well guarded people in hell, and her lofty idea that ultimately will fail and likely gain no traction at all? It’s practically free power.

And then Charlie starts pissing off all of heaven. And dragging her father and whole host of powerful and dangerous beings into her charade.

Now this is becoming a bad idea he can’t back out from.

And then he almost dies.

Why would the try to escape his deal? Alastor values his life above all else and his greatest fear that I think he now knows about, is the fear of death itself, a suddenly very real risk with the people Charlie, the person he’s forced to protect, is angering. Alastor wants out because of that sheer human thing that is the fear of death.

That’s why it’s such great writing.

Alastor is scared of death and that is what makes him human.

It’s a part of his character he can overcome or fall victim to, something that makes his character relatable and 3D rather than a distant mask. It’s something that makes him human, and that’s especially important in a character that was once just that.

No matter where Alastor’s character goes in the future, if he overcomes this fear and is somehow redeemed (plausible in the way the show is going), or if he is a villain for a future season brewing in the shadows, still driven by this fear that is so central to his actions (again, plausible with how the show is so far, he still had a villain moment after all even if it was a humanising one), Alastor’s character has actually gained so much depth, and all from one little scene sharing one shard of humanity he has left.

[lovemesomeagnst]

What’s fiddleford and Stans relationship like in your au??

Fiddleford and Stanley sort of embody the roles of Julia and Carmen in this au!

Since Fiddleford is Ford’s partner, I thought it’d make super sense for him to be the one doubtful over Stan’s “misdeeds” because he believes there’s more to it while Ford is so adamant that his brother is wrong and needs to be caught. I figured Stan would find Fiddleford charming and amusing just like how Carmen was always open to seeing Julia.

Depending on the stage of the au, there would be moments where Fiddleford first attempts to capture Stanley because it’s what he believes he should do but as time goes on it grows into more ‘lowkey trying to stop him but actually just wants to see him cause curious by motives and intrigued’.

Stan definitely views Fiddleford as the fun part of any chase because he’s less rash like Ford and more open to try and understand Stan’s perspective. Plus he takes the opportunity to toss a flirting pick-up line or gesture whenever. I feel like Fiddleford knowing about Stan from Ford would want to try and understand both twins and so he approaches Stan a bit friendlier when he realises that Stan isn’t a bad person like his brother claims.

Also Stan trusts Fiddleford enough to hand him over the things he steals for safekeeping and also trusts him enough to involve him in some of his capers should he needs so.

There was also an instance where Stan accidentally breaks into Fiddleford’s home in Palo Alto, California and he runs into Emma-May and Tate. (Like that one scene where Carmen accidentally runs into a family’s home in Rio). When he looks at the pictures hanging on the walls he realises he’s in Fiddleford’s house and apologised profusely and positively influences Tate and adores the short interaction he has with the boy. They don’t really know who he is though. Later, Tate would tell his father about it and Fiddleford would be surprised but pleased that Stanley treated his family well. Stan knowing Fiddleford has a wife would lead to him backing off his flirting advances on Fiddleford the next time they encounter each other.

Also like in the show there’s this brief period where Fiddleford leaves his job to pursue a more peaceful one to cope with the Memory Gun incident with Emma-May (I have lore for this). His relationship with her has already been strained but the incident really broke things and he needed time off to process everything. Stan visits him sometimes to check up on him. Stan also checks in on Tate occasionally and dotes on him after the divorce between Fiddleford and Emma-May. I believe around this stage they get closer since Fiddleford isn’t actively trying to catch him anymore and Stan starts to know more about Fiddleford’s personal life while Fiddleford gets to know more about Stan outside his capers. Stan obviously has a soft spot for Fiddleford so he is gentle and charming and sweet towards him, respecting Fiddleford’s boundaries after the divorce.

Around that stage Fiddleford starts realising that he likes Stan a lot and could possibly want to be more than a friend (because they’re basically friends at that point) and Stan starts flirting back and after like Fiddleford gets more comfortable obviously. Stan has always sorta knew he liked Fiddleford because how could he not but he never really addresses it cause he doesn’t really know if there’s ever a proper time to. They sorta know they both like the other because it’s so obvious so then I guess they’re in a mutual I like you phase but haven’t acted on it yet.

Then everything goes bad when Stan gets brainwashed like how Carmen got brainwashed to become evil. In my au this happens through the use of the Memory Gun that had fallen into the wrong hands (much like how Stan lost his memory in canon but this ain’t some sacrifice against a triangle demon unfortunately). Fiddleford would be devastated and at that point really comes to terms that he does, really, superbly, loves Stan and works with Ford and Team Red and the others to bring him back obviously.

Once that whole debacle ends Stan and Fiddleford would talk things out together and work it out!!

Then they kiss!!

Some fiddlestan art I already posted here

[queenoftheimps]

Why I Think The Season 2 Finale Is Gonna Be Even Rougher Than We Anticipate

Something I am increasingly worried about as we approach the Interview with the Vampire season finale:

What if Louis knows that he doesn't know everything? What if that's what he prefers?

Most of the audience suspects Armand was involved in the trial. Daniel definitely does. There's clues already there that this is the case. I've seen chatter online about how next week will, presumably, be when Louis realizes the truth and splits with Armand.

...however. When Louis confronts Armand about his memories of 1973, Armand tells him Louis asked him to erase them. Louis initially pushes back, but seems to accept this.

Except: why would you ever accept that as an explanation -- unless you knew that it's something you would do? Or possibly even something you'd done already?

Armand, as suspicious as he is, has been laying some groundwork that Louis is deliberately taking part in altering his own memories: "The pages we tore out of Claudia's diaries -- we did most of those together!" Which Louis seems to confirm is true.

I think part of the issue is that Louis' evasiveness is being attributed to a desire to protect Armand & continue seeing him as the love of his life. And it may be true to some extent. But also -- I think it's at least partly to protect Louis from the weight of his own guilt over Claudia's death.

Because if Armand is guilty -- if he has been plainly, obviously guilty for decades, if Daniel can catch it from third-hand evidence 70 years later -- and it happened because he wanted to have Louis to himself, how do you even process that? How do you handle knowing that Claudia died a horrific death because of a romance she herself called you out on? After she told you that this man threatened her and you denied it?

Hell, how do you process it when she's condemned by testimony from someone you failed to kill? When Louis tries to convince Daniel that he really did intent to kill Lestat, that Claudia was the one who couldn't burn him, is it because he can't handle feeling responsible for Lestat being alive to testify against her?

Truthfully, I wouldn't really blame Louis for not being able to handle that level of guilt, and we know he winds up spending several years draining drug addicts as a coping method before ultimately attempting suicide. Being able to forget all of it, and forget that you'd forgotten them, would be appealing. (And I think it's noteworthy that Louis only seems to be willing to question Armand about his memories of 1973, which occurred well after Claudia died.)

That said: I have concerns about what this is going to mean for present-day Dubai.

Daniel clearly can tell something is up and is gunning to dig in. But Louis keeps shutting him down hard. ("Armand sold you out-..." "I'm talking now.")

We also have seen what happens when Daniel digs into something that Louis really doesn't want to talk about. When he asks for Claudia's missing pages, Louis deliberately seems to trigger his Parkinson's. When Daniel makes comments about Lestat's letter, Louis starts digging into Daniel's memories of Alice (which also seems to worsen Daniel's tremors, though that may not be deliberate).

So what happens if he starts pushing in on something that Louis has gone to great, deliberate lengths to forget about? Something that ties into the worst event of Louis' life, something he still feels tremendous guilt over?

Raglan James' line about "You fear Armand. You should fear the other one" feels like a shoe that hasn't been dropped yet. I've been pretty steadily predicting that Daniel is going to have some sort of massive medical issue in the penthouse, but I'm slowly wondering if Louis may be what triggers it (possibly by accident). Hell, I even kind of wonder if Armand suspects something like this could happen, which is part of why he's been so adamant about always being nearby, cosplaying as Rashid so he can run in whenever Louis gets upset.

I don't know, I would love for the finale to be as easy and simple as "Daniel helps Louis see that Armand is guilty, Louis dumps Armand". But this show has never been about easy, simple situations so I suspect we're in for a rough time.

[flowersforjude]

𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | It’s just a job, nothing more. Until it isn’t.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 3,008

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Canon typical violence, Injuries, Mutual pining, Joel is like the reader’s personal bodyguard.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 | Reluctantly protective Joel sure is something. Something I need in my be-

masterlist

This was supposed to be an easy one. Get you from place to place, unharmed and alive; get paid; and then that was that. Easy. 

Except it was anything but. 

Joel’s first impression of you was that you were meek and quiet. He was honestly pleased, thinking this made his job a lot easier. He thought you would follow his orders and just let him take the lead. Cut and dry, right? 

How wrong he was.

He certainly wasn’t expecting your hidden fiery spirit. It only took a few days for your soft-spoken nature to disappear. He got used to your sharp tongue real quick, and while you knew when to really listen to him, he got used to your defiance as well. 

Things started to go wrong as soon as you left the Q.Z. His original plan went to hell, and you were forced to take the long way around. Infected swarmed the short path, and the thought of making this trip even longer set Joel on edge. Bad luck already setting the precedent for the whole trip made him regret taking the damn job in the first place. 

Before the trek even began, he put his walls up with you. He makes it clear he doesn’t do small talk, but that didn’t stop you from asking him a million questions. He answers some of them that he deems logical, but he shuts you down when you ask anything too personal. He doesn’t want you to know him. Doesn’t want to know you. 

But then the inevitable happens. 

You take a hammer to his walls and make the first crack. He’s unable to put his finger on the exact moment you began chipping away at his resolve. 

Maybe it was the night under the stars when he actually allowed himself to hold a conversation with you. The first real one you guys had, nothing like your endless questions and his short, clipped answers. He learned that night that you had a real good sense of humor. 

But then again, it just as well may have been the day you came upon a deer in the woods. He wanted to keep moving, but you were adamant about staying and watching the animal. Joel supposed he understood. He didn’t know how long it’d been since you’d left the Q.Z., so it’d been an eternity since you laid eyes upon anything other than a rat. The longing in your expression hit something in him. He didn’t know why. The world was the way it was. And it wasn’t changing, so why waste your time missing something you could never have again?

Though Joel ate his own words when he realized he wanted to give you what you yearned for. A scene of normalcy, something to ease the sting of your lost life. He couldn’t give you the life you had before the outbreak, but some part of him wanted to try his hardest to give you something close to it. 

That’s why, even when you both had a close call with a few Clickers, he fought his hardest to get you out of there and to the place you were headed. His only hope was to deliver you to something close to normal. 

The Clicker comes out of nowhere; it tackles Joel and slams him to the ground. He goes down with a crack and knows his back will be screaming later. The thing claws at him, ripping the shoulder of his shirt. He’s holding it back as best he can while trying to reach for his knife. Before he can grip the handle, though, a shot rings out. 

Birds fly from the trees, the sound of their wings meeting his ears over the rushing of blood. He shoves the creature off him and pulls himself to his feet. The first thing he sees is you. You stand a few yards away with your gun still held up. Your arms seem to be trembling, and Joel is momentarily stunned. He knew you carried a gun, obviously, but he didn’t know you were such a good shot. He’d never seen you use it, always letting him take care of any threat.  

He’s about to call to you, to say something like, ‘good shooting.” But before he can even open his mouth, another Clicker springs from the treeline. You go down with a shriek, but you're fighting to get free. Joel doesn’t think as he pulls out his gun and starts running. As soon as he’s close enough to guarantee a kill shot, he fires. A second shot rings out, and this time the only sound to be heard are your terrified gasps. 

He’s next to you quicker than he realizes and pulls you up. Your eyes are frantic, zooming around until they land on his face. Relief floods them, and all of a sudden your hands are gripping at him. You take his jaw and turn his head back and forth, your eyes searching him for injuries. 

“Are you okay?” You ask, your voice holds a slight panic. Your hands leave his jaw and trail down his neck, checking there for any bites too. “Did it get you? Are you hurt?” Your worry and the feeling of your hands still on him send tingles through his skin. 

“I’m fine.” He assures you, trying to keep his voice from sounding too gruff. He peels your hands from him but doesn’t let go of them. He conducts his own search of you, checking for any bites or injuries from your fall. “Are you alright?” 

“I think so.” You answer breathlessly. 

He goes to retrieve his pack, which had fallen off in his struggle with the Clicker. You're hot on his heels, putting barely any space between your bodies. When he bends down to pick up the bag, his back screams at him. He winces as he straightens up, a hand going to his lower back. 

You're worrying over him again in an instant. “What’s wrong?” You fret, putting your hand over his. He brushes you off and assures you once again that he’s fine. Your quick-witted attitude comes out in full force as you put on a stern expression. “Well, we should find a place to hunker down for the night. Something’s clearly wrong with your back.” 

He can’t argue with that. It’s easy enough to find a suitable place, barricading yourselves in an old garage of some house. It’s a cold night, though, and even the closed-off garage doesn’t provide enough warmth to keep you from shivering. Joel contemplates moving outside just so he can build a fire, but the threat of more Clickers being in the area stops him. Being cold is better than being dead. 

You're sitting on your bed roll, wrapped up in your blanket, blowing on your hands and rubbing them together. The slight tremble of your form doesn’t go unnoticed by him. 

“Here,” he offers, motioning for you to slide over a little. He lays his own bed roll right next to yours and sits down. He brings his blanket up over him. “Come under here.” He held the edge of it up. You don’t have to be told twice as you press yourself to his side. With both blankets covering you, and your shared body heat, that should do for the night. 

You fall asleep with your back facing him, your hands tucked under your chin. Joel finds himself staying awake, rationalizing it as keeping watch. He watches you as you breathe in and out. You hum every now and then, like you're talking in your dreams. Soon those peaceful hums turn into frightened gasps. He leans over you, watching your face. You don’t wake up, though your brows are furrowed and your lashes flutter, but your eyes don’t open. 

After a moment, you roll over, facing him. Your hand shoots out, gripping the fabric of his shirt in your fist tightly. Joel doesn’t dare move as you shuffle closer to him, like you’re seeking him out in your dreams. Your face presses itself to his chest, your hand losing some of its tension but still keeping a hold on his shirt. 

That’s when he hears it. 

“Joel.” 

Everything he thought he knew came crashing down with the barely there mumble of his name from your unconscious lips. It’s just his name, it shouldn’t startle him so much. But it came from you, whispered from the deepest recesses of your sleeping mind. 

“Joel.” 

There it is again. A murmured confession that you're looking for him. Searching for him in your rest for a reason Joel can’t decipher. It’s laced with yearning, so much so that he can’t stop himself from winding his arms around you. 

“I’m here, sweetheart.” He quietly answers when you call his name once more. His voice must have reached some deep part of your mind because you finally settled down fully. Sighing a little as you burrow yourself further into his warmth. 

He doesn’t say anything the next morning. Even though you woke with your head resting in the crook of his neck and his arm still caging you to him. He doesn’t say anything about your nighttime hunt for him. He can’t even imagine how that conversation would go. He pictures your flushed cheeks as you stammer your way around an explanation, and he almost changes his mind. But he decides it’s better this way. 

This is just a job.

He doesn’t even believe himself at this point. 

For the rest of the journey, it’s clear something has shifted. Some unknown knowledge hangs between you, but neither of you brings it up. Content with just letting it simmer until it eventually bubbles over and you're forced to deal with it. 

You still glue yourself to him, never leaving more than a few inches between you both. If it had been anyone else, Joel would’ve already barked at them to back up. But it was you, and he found himself relishing in your closeness. He knew soon enough you would reach your destination and be forced to part ways. So, he was going to soak up as much of this as he could. He lets himself indulge in you and your endless sunlight. 

On the last night of the trip, you and he sit across from each other with a fire between you. It was silent as you busied yourselves with eating decades-old canned fruit. The sound of the spoons clinking against the cans drove him crazy. He tried to think of something to say, something meaningful. After all, it is your last night together. But he can’t come up with a damn thing. He’s seriously about to comment on the weather just to fill the silence when you save him. 

“What do you remember the most from before?” 

This is breaking his rule of no small talk. He already knows that if he answers this, things are going to get personal. He answers anyway. “Football games on Sunday. Summer barbecues. My brother and I swimming in our grandfather’s lake.” 

“I didn’t know you had a brother.” You're surprised, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t be. Joel hasn’t exactly been open with you about anything regarding himself. 

He nods. “Yeah, a younger one. Tommy.” 

You seem to peer closer at him over the fire. The orange glow of the flames enveloping your features. “Is he back in Boston?” 

Another question that he wouldn't have answered before. “No, we haven’t talked in a while actually. I don’t know where he is.” He can see the sympathy taking over your face, so he directs the attention away from him. Not ready to open that door with you yet. “What about you? What do you remember the most?”

This brings a smile out of you. “My family going to this cabin by the lake every Fourth of July. Me and my grandma going apple picking.” 

“I was never a big apple fan,” he remarks. 

Your smile grows, and he thinks he’d keep talking all night if you smiled like that again. “Oh, I was. Especially apple pie, my grandma and I would make one every time we went picking.” The light in your face fades a little. You take on this faraway look as you gaze into the flames. Joel gives you time to speak again because he can tell something is on your mind. “Do you think the world will ever be somewhat the same again?” 

That’s one question he absolutely knows the answer to. No. The world is the way it is now, and there’s no going back to what was before. Your only choice was to adapt. But the sorrowful expression on your face made him answer something completely different. 

“I sure hope so.” 

When you finally reach your destination the next day, you find out the person you were meeting was a no-show. You were still welcomed with open arms, though. The people even gave Joel somewhere to stay for the night. Offering him a room to rest his head and supplies for his trip back. He plans on leaving at first light, not wanting to chance seeing you in the morning. If he saw you, it would make things harder than they needed to be. He let himself enjoy your warmth for a while, but the job was done. It was time to get back on track, he told himself. 

He’s stocking his bag when there’s a knock at the door. He’s not expecting to see you standing on the other side, but he’s not surprised. He steps back to allow you to come in, closing the door once you pass him. 

“You need something, sweetheart?” He questions, kicking himself for the nickname. He hadn’t meant for it to slip out. Then again, he hadn't meant for this whole trip to go the way it did. 

“I don’t want you to leave,” you say quietly. 

“What?” Joel demands. 

“I don’t want you to go.” You repeat, your face is alight with that fire that surprised him so much. 

He can’t help but laugh. He falls short when your face drops. “You know that’s not possible,” he sighed. 

“Why not?” Your voice cracks. He wants to bring you to his chest and make your sadness go away. But he was the cause of your despair, so the sooner he was gone, the better. “Why can’t you stay and just be with me?” You look down at your hands, now knotted together in a nervous tangle. 

“You don’t want me, sweetheart.” He rubs his hand over the back of his neck. “I’m not good for you.” 

“Don’t you think I should be able to decide what’s good for me?” You roll your eyes, your face challenging him. His fierce, spirited girl. His girl. He shoves the thought away. You weren’t his, and you never would be. 

“I’ve got too much—I’m too screwed up.” He crosses his arms over his chest. He doesn’t know whether or not he does it to protect himself, but it’s something he does when in a confrontation. 

You laugh outright at this. “We’ve all got baggage, Joel.” 

Hearing you voice his name again takes him back to the night you called for him in your sleep. This was harder than he expected, harder than he wanted it to be. He didn’t want to cause you pain. 

He’s about to disagree when you reach for him. Your fingers curl into the flannel he’s wearing, just like when you clutched his shirt that fateful night. He lets you bring him closer to you, letting your eyes bore into his without looking away. His hands take on a mind of their own and plant themselves on your waist. 

“Stay, Joel.” You're so close he can feel your breath hit his lips. It makes his head spin. “Please.” 

He can’t find his words; he can’t find it in himself to argue with you. He knows he’s no good for you. He knows he doesn’t deserve you, but everything screams at him to agree. To stay and keep you close to him for the rest of your lives. 

“Y/N.” He whispers as a final stance against your magnetism. 

“We don’t have to stay here. We can go wherever we want.” You offer, your nose brushing across his. Everything feels warm, and it's almost intoxicating in its intensity. 

“Went through hell just to get here.” He points outs, trying to give you a small grin. 

“I don’t care.” Your hands move up his face to hold his cheeks, forcing him to look at you. As if he wants to look anywhere else. “I’ll follow you anywhere, as long as we’re together.”

“Sweetheart-” 

His protest is lost to your mouth. You kiss him with the same fire that burns inside you. Joel lets the flames consume him, and he thinks as long as you keep kissing him, he’d happily let himself burn in you forever. His hands tighten on your waist as he returns your kiss with equal fervor. He feels himself falling deeper and deeper, like he’s spiraling down the depths of something he’s blocked off for so long. When your arms throw themselves around his shoulders to pull him closer to you, clinging to him like he’s your lifeline, he’s positive that he’d follow you to the ends of the earth. He pulls his mouth from yours to trail his lips over your neck. 

“Please don’t go,” you breathe as he presses a kiss to your pulse point. “Please, Joel.”

He nods against the column of your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin behind your ear. “I’m here, sweetheart,” he sighs out. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.” 

This was just meant to be a simple job, but it turned out to be something so much more than that. It was like an expedition to discover something you both had lost a long time ago. Peace. Companionship. Call it what you will, but he felt damn lucky to have found it again. 

First Joel imagine! I honestly didn't mean for it to be over 3k, but here we are.

[an0thergl1tch]

Here are some sanderssides outfit headcanons because I’m gay :

Remus : Definetly had a pair of the Brendan Urie are you nasty booty shorts at some point in time. When alone this bitch either dresses like a emo slut, a toddler who decided to dress themselves for the day, a punk anarchist, or Adam Sandler, there is no in between. Janus has to convince him to put on pants when guests come over. “Who says I can’t wear converses with my dress.” Janus has to stop him from spontaneously cutting his hair or giving himself piercings so has a BUNCH of fake ones. Spends 10 minutes taking off all of his accessories. Puts in funky contacts to be edgy. Never throws old clothes out and thinks it looks punk despite there being very obviously not intentional large holes in them. Either extremely over or under dressed, If there’s a dress code, it’s ignored. Constantly wearing platforms. Definitely has tried to give himself a scar on his face because he thought it would look kickass, he no longer has access to knives. Randomly does sfx makeup to freak people the fuck out.

Janus : So much vintage wear. Definetly has a pin striped suit somewhere in his closet, dosent wear it because Virgil calls him the cat from Tom n jerry. Definetly has tea parties in renissance era dresses. Probably has one of those dramatic 60s newly widowed housewife robes that he wears while lounging with a glass of wine. Probably wore one of those androgynous suit dresses to Thomas’s prom, Roman was pissed because he looked better than him. Extremely overdressed, would wear red to a funeral. So many fucking hats, need I say more. Beauty is pain, there is no functionality, he can’t walk in half his outfits. Wears a lot of layers but actually has the excuse of being cold blooded.

Virgil : Oh so many bracelets, who gave him access to so many bracelets. Spends a solid 2 hours teasing his hair and putting makeup on every morning (this bitch is a GOD at eyeliner.) So many layers, you do not need to be wearing 3 hoodies at once. Somehow always cold despite having enough clothes on to survive in the artic. “Oh fuck one of my bracelets fell off.” Acts like he despises pink despite wearing neon pink raccoon tails during his college scene phase. Extremely underdressed unless he has the energy to dress as a Victorian vampire. Definitely experiments with goth makeup and clothing.

Patton : Its giving youth pastor. Owns every color of polo shirt. Wears aviators to look ‘hip’ and ends up looking like goose from top gun. Definetly has a leather jacket somewhere in his closet that he only wore to college parties to look cool (the obligatory dad mid life crisis leather jacket, probably worn and probably has seen some shit.) Constantly wears a tool belt or a Fanny pack, lord get this man a backpack. Had horrendous emo phase, good lord MySpace traumatized him. Definitely has a jersey and varsity jacket but actually IS into sports. Needs to get outfit tips because he will wear a polo shirt and cargo pants to every occasion. So many dad hats.

Roman : wears jerseys and varsity jackets despite not being into sports at all. Loves makeup but goes horribly every time he tries to do it on himself. Has to be held down to do eyeliner or mascara because he will NOT stop moving and complaining about you poking his eyes out. Loves being overdressed however half his wardrobe is costume pieces he pretends are high end items. So many rings and necklaces. “Buy me Prada” *is wearing thrift store jeans* Takes hours getting ready, getting dressed takes 10 minutes but he has to get his mindfulness meditation for the day in before he leaves. Definitely has a purse collection.

Logan : This dude probably has so much vintage clothing and historical pieces but is absolutely terrified to wear any of it and wrinkle anything. Has a tie collection (extremely obvious) however half of them are funky ties Patton spotted while shopping and gave to him. Has hundreds of the same shirt but tons of blazers and vests to spice things up a bit. Definitely has a collection of very high end leather shoes that he takes care of dearly and gets heavily pissed off if someone steps on them. So many cheesy nerd pun t-shirts that he wears exclusively in his room because Patton would freak the fuck out. Is tired of people calling him Steve Urkel or a newsie when he puts on suspenders. Practicality over looks, however makes a few exceptions (This bitch would look amazing in a corset.) Can run in heels and Roman is extremely jealous and terrified. Can do makeup surpisingly well.

[s1qhed]

My Richie Headcanons ||

Just a warning that this is incredibly indulgent, IYKYK~ Full of fluff, angst, smut… These aren’t in any particular order!

Richie promises that he’ll stop smoking every other week, and commits to it for about 3 days, boasting about “how easy it was”, and then is subsequently caught burning multiple away anxiously around the corner behind the restaurant.

He only purchased his gun after he and Tiff found out that she was pregnant with Eva. He took a few classes to learn how to responsibly handle it, but he’s never actually had to fire it. He still pretends to be hard by waving it around (like in s1e1) keeping it tucked in his waistband on occasion. (Leave it to Richie to be a cornball 🙄)

His apartment is a lot tidier than one would expect. “Everything has a home” he would explain. He needs to keep himself and his space clean or he feels like crap.

Richie has an incredibly soft spot for Sugar (and any other woman, tbh). He witnessed Carmy and Michael being mean to her often when they were kids, and he also saw his father being abusive toward his mother. As a result he is ADAMANT about being gentle with women. One time when they were teenagers Mikey called Sugar a bitch, and Richie got into a fistfight with him.

Furthering this, he’s always been a gentleman, even when he was previously sloppy and abrasive. He’s the kind of guy to open a door for you, buy your favorite snacks (remember when he offered to get Sug a sprite when he found out she was pregnant? 🥹), avoid smoking near you, and politely touch the small of your back as he passes. He saves his assholeish, tough-guy persona for other men in his life.

He would definitely talk to you in a faux sympathetic tone while he’s making you melt in his arms during sex, though.

He also can’t help but use pet names. His favorites are doll-face, sweetheart, princess…

Richie used to fall asleep at work, a lot. Standing up at the counter with his head down, sitting on a bench leaned back against the lockers… Tina and Mikey eventually started to stack shit on top of him- bread, cucumber slices. Sometimes there would be a dick drawn on his cheek. He stopped doing it after he woke up with a bra taped onto his chest and a mop on top of his head (which Mikey came up with, of course).

He refuses to take the train after he saw some cracked out guy pissing all over the floor. Carmy always bitches at him about how “that literally never happens” which Richie fires back with, “but it DID.”

He LOVESSSS movies. Whenever he has Eva for the weekend he tries to get her to watch stuff like Total Recall, Terminator, Bladerunner (not before saying “don’t tell your mother”). Eva obviously doesn’t care and they end up watching Barbie movies instead.

He is a REALLY loud drunk, duh. If you thought he was at 100 sober, you would be incorrect. He will go on rants about the stupidest shit, like how “Batman could beat any other FUCKING superhero if he had enough time to prepare, dipshit!”

Sometimes he, Tina, and Ebraheim will go out for drinks together after work. He sometimes orders a girly (“frou-frou” as Ebra calls it) cocktail. They all keep his secret though.

He’s a very handsy person. Hands on the small of his woman’s back, shoulder pats, hand holds and bear hugs, thigh squeezes when you’re sat beside him. Physical touch is his love language. He would absolutely touch your leg with a single toe from the opposite side of the room while you two spent quiet time together.

He remembers everything. It’s what makes him such an incredible server, but sometimes it’s to an annoying degree. He would whine about how “we haven’t watched a movie together in 10 days” and he would argue that “it has definitely been 10 days because I remember that we watched ___ on ___ which was 10 days ago—“

(This one’s gonna hurt) Richie visits Mikey’s grave, often. Once a week, sometimes more. He occasionally will leave a cigarette for him, sometimes he’ll talk to him, sometimes he won’t. Richie typically can’t even pass the part of town where Mikey died, or where he now rests, without becoming incredibly upset.

[cakerybakery]

Hell had the best lawyers, really a benefit to being in hell. Lucifer like lawyers, they were as meticulous about contracts as he was. Tricky too, which he also liked. They were in hell, not heaven.

Not all lawyers went to hell, obviously. Most weren’t even in hell because they were bastards that used their profession to sin. Lucifer’s personal lawyer, James, was in hell because he kept cheating on his wives and drank and ate to excess, which is what killed him.

When wife number seven burst into the room as he was finishing up inside the sixth person he’d cheated on her with that month, waving a gun, screaming and crying hysterically because she just found out he’s been cheating since before they got married three months ago. He didn’t stand a chance as the gun went off and he dropped dead, from a heart attack.

The bastard still ran around chasing anything in a skirt and drank and ate until his guts ruptured each night. But he went to work stone cold sober and did his job during the day. He was a professional and Lucifer liked that about him.

Lucifer still double checked the contract before signing and sliding it over to Adam.

Adam was struggling to get through all the legal jargon. He learned to read in heaven, not even any of the human languages either. Angelic texts. Satan’s English was newer for him.

It was weird how the language invented by Wrath leaked up to Earth, then Heaven. Lucifer was pretty sure Satan did it on purpose to fuck with Heaven after the whole tower of babble thing.

Adam could certainly speak the language, even if it wasn’t his first language it seemed to be his preferred now. Lucifer couldn’t fault him there. He himself only spoke the language of the angels if he had to now. The language taught first to Adam.

James raised an eyebrow at Lucifer as Adam struggled, silently asking the question everyone asked. “What do you see in him?”

Lucifer couldn’t explain it. Adam was often rude, crude, and cruel. But that cruel streaked turned into an insatiable lust as they physically came to blows one day. The crudeness was a turn on as it was turned onto him to describe everything Adam wanted them to do. They both got a thrill out of Lucifer trying to tame Adam’s rude tongue. With Lucifer in the bedroom as a focal point for Adam’s worst traits, his best started to shine through.

He sung like an angel, a fallen angel, but no matter how hard and harsh the song was, Lucifer loved listening to that sweet voice singing it. Adam’s hands were rough with him, but gentle with the plants and dirt. He had no devil given talent for it. Just centuries of knowledge. Children were a weakness of his. And it made Lucifer weak in the knees to watch Adam being so gentle with Lucifer’s grandchild.

Soon to be officially their grandchild. It was just the first set of documents they were signing today. Some prenup stuff, in case of a divorce. They were both divorced men known for their tempers, if something did happen, they both wanted to make sure they had each other over a barrel to make their parting as easy as possible. Later it would be the marriage certificate. But right now, they were adding Adam’s name to a bunch of the assets. If someone offed Lucifer it just made inheritance easier. More likely they would need Adam to be able to sign off on things when Lucifer hit a depressive low and couldn’t be roused to do paperwork.

A reason Lucifer retained such a great lawyer. Charlie certainly needed the help when he had hit the worst of a slump after Lilith left. Acting as the ruler of hell for a few years while he couldn’t get out of bed.

James started to clarify some of the things Adam was reading. “These fifty pages are all the assets Lucifer holds in this city. This stack is the rest of the ring, and these ones are for the other rings. You can read over everything if you like or just sign at the end to acknowledge that it’s all there.”

Adam signed, trusting neither of them were trying to screw with him. Which they weren’t, but he really needed to teach Adam to stop being so damnably trusting. That’s how he ended up damned.

“And this is acknowledgment that you’ll pay the listed price to be added to the assets.” James tapped the next set of documents.

“What’s the listed price?”

James grinned, “a kiss. To be paid to Mr Morningstar.”

Adam rolled his eyes at Lucifer’s cheeky smirk and leaned over. They exchanged a kiss and Adam signed, followed by Lucifer and James to attest the Adam had indeed made payment in full.

[meetinginsamarra]

mayprompts2024, #25 intuition

White Pony Tattoo - Part Five (intuition)

Sherlock took a sip of his tea and John felt a wave of jealousy for the teacup that was embraced by this perfect cupid’s bow of Sherlock’s lips. Sherlock swallowed and John mirrored the movement subconsciously, fascinated by Sherlock’s bobbing Adam’s apple.

He’s far too beautiful to concentrate, John sighed internally, how will I even survive getting tattooed by him, with his hands all over me? Well, all over my arm at least. But he will be so close. I’ve never met a person who at the same time is such a seductive menace and an annoying dick. Seems like he’s just my type, dear me.

“So,” Sherlock stood up again, unable to contain his excited energy about explaining his deduction, “how did I know?”

“I’m all ears, oh great Meastro.”

Sherlock flashed John an amused smile.

“When I first saw you, you had pulled off your jumper and were looking with disdain at the Virgin Mary tattoo on your upper arm. It sports the face of a real woman, your ex-wife apparently because of the marks on your ringfinger where your wedding band had been. Ergo she left and betrayed you and you’ll be divorced soon and want to eradicate every memory of her.”

“Okay, I get this. But the soldier? Getting shot and surviving in Afghanistan?”

“Your whole stance and demeanour screamed ‘military’. You still cut your own hair in short military style. Scar tissue on your shoulder peeked out under your vest. You’re not shy about showing off your naked arms but hate the scar. I’ve done a lot of research on skin and also cover-ups. I know a gunshot wound when I see one, one that got severely infected by bacteria and you survived sepsis. The skin is badly healed, so a quick emergency job. There are tiny spots of sun damage on the skin of your neck, they are fading but still visible. Ergo, you’ve been in a hot country with a war going on and got shot not very long ago where the British have fought, so soldier in Afghanistan or Iraq.”

“Amazing!”

“You think so?”

“Sure. What about the doctor part? Intuition?”

Sherlock snorted. “No. I don’t deal in intuition. I knew you were a doctor already, even before we talked about achieving perfection in our respective trades.”

“How so?”

“The position of getting shot in your back while you were kneeling. Exit wound is on chest, causing an intermittant tremor in your hand. You hate the scar tissue on your shoulder, you conceal it as it insults your ideals as a doctor. Only a doctor would have scrutinized my frontroom for cleanliness like you did. You saw the flyers about proper hygiene and skin care after getting a tattoo. You appreciated the skin care products I sell in this shelf here, obviously acquainted with them and knowing they’re the best you can get.

Also, a doctor because it’s the only logical reason why you should have been kneeling and bent over in such an unusual angle, so helping a comrade wounded in action. You wouldn’t have been distracted otherwise and missed the shooter because you automatically scanned the shop for any possible dangers when you entered and subconsciously stand at attention when you have to face a perilous task…”

“Perilous task as in getting you to tattoo me?” John intterrupted with a grin.

“Obviously, do keep up, John! You loved being a soldier and wanted the happy memory erasing the one of your ex-wife. You’re attracted to dangerous situations and people, they make you feel alive. Final conclusion, you wanted a soldier in full combat gear for a cover-up.”

“Holy Christ, you’re spot-on.”

Sherlock beamed, not hiding being very satisfied with himself.

“And are you?” John continued.

“What?”

“Dangerous to me?”

“Of course, I am. Firstly, I’ll come at you with a loaded gun…”

“…a tattoo gun…”

“…that still can cause a lot of pain and damage to your skin if wielded incorrectly.”

“I’ll give you that. And secondly?” John asked and took a sip out of his cup.

“Secondly, you find me dangerously attractive.”

John spat some tea onto the coffee table.

+++++

tagging some people @totallysilvergirl @peageetibbs @lisbeth-kk  @raina-at @calaisreno

[bonkwosher]

Jealous Dan Stevens' Characters Headcanons

A/N: A little more for Herr König than the rest bc I'm excited. But yeah, I'm kinda back. Sorry, I've been so busy. Also, tell me if I can give Herr König a name! It would make it easier for me to write.

Pairing(s): Travis "Trapper" Beasley x GN!Reader, Adam "Frank" Barnett x GN!Reader (Separate), David Collins x GN!Reader (Separate), Herr König x Reader (Separate)

Contains: Mentions of unwanted advances, jealousy (obviously), mentions of guns, Confident Frank, Nervous Trapper, David being... crazy, MY FIRST TIME WRITING HERR König

Frank

Frank is definitely the jealous type. He craves power & he wants you to be his & only his. You're very important to him & he doesn't know what he'd do if he lost you. Especially if someone stole you away from him.

He is also the kind of guy to play off his jealousy, or better yet, pretend he isn't jealous. He'll give you a smirk or a scoff & simply state, "Me, jealous? Look at me, Y/N!"

If someone is casually flirting or being nice, he doesn't worry too much. But he will watch. He trusts you, but he doesn't trust the person flirting with you. If they touch your arm or so much as compliment you, he's wincing & looking for alcohol. He doesn't want to control you.

If someone tries to make an unwanted advance he's right there in seconds. He's got you behind him, one hand on your arm & another ready to grab his gun. Frank likely towers over whoever is flirting with you. He sounds polite but everyone within earshot knows his true feelings. He wants to rip this person to shreds.

"Well, hello. I don't believe we've met, I'm their boyfriend."

"Now is that how we treat someone as lovely as this?"

If he feels the guy hitting you is particularly douchey he'll address himself as your husband, despite you guys not being married. It brings him great satisfaction to call himself that, your husband, & it usually gets the particularly annoying ones to back off.

Trapper

Trapper is a sweetheart. If he gets jealous it's going to be hard for him to tell you. You're just so perfect in his eyes, of course, every human on this planet can see it. He tends to get pretty quiet when he's jealous. Not because he wants you to notice his absence, but because he gets so nervous.

He likes to stay attached to you if he can. Even if you're turned away from him at the moment he likes to keep ahold of your hand. If you're facing the same way his arm will be around you in one way or another.

If you introduce him as your boyfriend he'll perk up. A wave of energy & excitement enters him & he gets all bubbly. He's safe, he knew he could trust you. He just gets anxious sometimes.

If someone gives you unwanted attention though, he's not afraid to assert himself. His fear with jealousy is upsetting you, or not being enough. But he's dealt with Titans, some random creepy guy is nothing.

He will mostly de-escalate & get you out of there, get you safe. But he is completely willing to fight for you.

David

David has a short temper with jealousy, but he is very methodical. He won't get mad at you but he may get short with you, which is very noticeable.

Simple no's or yes'... mostly no's to any of your questions. The reason he's short is simple. His hand is in his pocket, clutching his flip knife with an iron grip, vividly daydreaming of the things he could be doing with the flirt that stood opposite you.

Once you notice all you have to do is redirect your attention to him & things will lighten up. He will still be staring daggers, or flip knives, into your admirer.

David has some sort of toxic masculinity bullshit that is usually under control, but if he feels like he's competing with a man for your attention he might start acting more animalistic. Puffing up his chest, showing off his skills, showing that he is the better man.

But again, once he feels safe in your love, he's back to his normal still kinda crazy self. A simple hand on his cheek & a soft kiss is all he needs to wrap right back around your finger, his attention solely on you.

Herr König (Opinions on me giving him a first name? I kinda want to)

Herr König tries to eliminate all jealousy possible. You live together in his villa & spend most of your time at the resort. But he does like to treat you to dinners or show you around the nearby towns. It brings him joy to show off his amazing partner from time to time.

One thing he especially likes to do is take you dancing, it's a hobby of his. Occasionally you'll even take lessons together. He recognized immediately that the star "student" in the class was attractive. He also noticed them taking glances at you, sparking up conversations about your day to day life, but never acknowledging your quiet German partner.

That's all anyone really knew about Herr König, because he really only spoke to you... in German. He didn't feel that he needed to speak to anyone else, especially your not-so-secret admirer. It felt like a subtle way to show his disdain for the dancer.

There's a time in the class when you swap partners but Herr König would just pretend he couldn't understand your admirer when they asked for your hand to dance. "Es tut mir leid. Sie sind verheiratet. (Roughly: "I'm sorry, they are married.")

Much to Herr König's chagrin, & he swears it was due to sabotage, in the middle of one of your lessons he slipped. He managed to catch himself, somehow, but it did not look smooth. You were worried when he acknowledged his pain but he tried to brush it off. Soon enough your teacher came up & suggested he sit off to the side & ice his foot. He only listened when you agreed that it was what he should do.

& sure enough, that star student saw his chance & swept you away. You had fun, you were smiling... as one does with friends. But your man was livid. He tried to stand but the pain grew to become unbearable. He began plotting to have this person disappear. He could use the cuckoos, yes, that would go nicely.

Your hand on his shoulder drew his attention upward. You gave him a quick peck before offering to help him up. You wanted to go home, dancing wasn't the same without your partner. His stomach filled with butterflies before accepting your invitation to an early exit.

[therealmuppetjoker]

GREETINGS, HOMOSAPIENS.

No, that can't be right. That sounds so... obsolete. Let's try this again, shall we?

SALUTATIONS, MY FELLOW MEN AND NONBINARIES.

Welcome to my blog. I go by many names, including Kermit, Mr. Kermit, The Joker, The Muppet Joker, The Croaker, The Clown Prince of Crime, Dark Muppet, Mr. The Frog, and The Real Muppet Joker.

I am a Muppet Joker kintype. All of his kins have been inherited as my own sub-kins, and these include:

Main: Kermit and the Joker (obviously)

Secondary: Bro Strider from Homestuck and Adam from the Bible

I DO NOT KIN VRISKA SERKET FROM HOMESTUCK. Unlike my, shall we say, "predecessor," I have read Homestuck all the way through without sullying my moral values. I would never kin a woman.

I am also aware (spoilers incoming) that Dirk Strider is a h*rse lover. I choose to believe that Bro would never fucking associate with those things and saw the error of his ways early in his mental development, which is why I kin Bro and not Dirk.

Now... where were we? Heh.

FAQ:

Are you the original Muppet Joker?

No. I am a Muppet Joker kintype. My history begins to differ from the "original" Muppet Joker's when he starts kinning Vriska Serket. Since that point in our history, I have developed separately as a distinct entity.

What makes you the "real" Muppet Joker?

Because I am superior to the original one. I have read all the way through Homestuck, but I did not become a feminist. This gives me all rights to The Muppet Joker identity.

Are you single?

No. I am in a closed Relationship with Kermit and the Joker.

Why are you an anti-feminist?

If you don't know why, you might as well leave right now. This blog is not for Outsiders of the Men's Rights Movement.

DNI:

Other Kermit/Joker kintypes

Other Muppet Joker kintypes

South Park fans

All females/girls/women

Anyone who uses Biblical imagery in non-Biblical fandom content, or anyone who talks about "Biblically accurate angels" as a meme. My past/culture is NOT your aesthetic.

Shifting antis

Equine furries/otherkin. It reminds me of my kin trauma.

Sans Undertale (including AU's) kintypes - also kin trauma.

"Neurotypicals"

Bigots

People who use the rainbow flag. The rainbow is ONLY for God and Kermit the Frog. (I myself use the MLM flag, which is blue and green.)

People who don't think we need stricter gun safety laws

Parents

Pro-choice

Pro-life

People who identify with the color royal purple. It's MINE.

Potterheads

If you have ever been on the Bachelor

[crooked-wasteland]

Hazbin Hotel Live Blog: Welcome to Heaven

Coming back I found I did enjoy the last episode far more than I did the others. It obviously suffers from who the director is, but I could still see the more competent writer underneath certain portions of the episode. This one is written by Adam Stein who was credited for six episodes of Harley Quinn, a series I admittedly do not particularly care for. I wouldn’t consider the series bad and I enjoy scenes more than the whole, but its clear that Hazbin and much of Medrano’s writing ideas are in many ways ripped off from Harley Quinn far more than Bojack Horseman. To be frank, if Medrano had stuck her comparison to Harley Quinn, I doubt she would be criticized nearly as much as she is for her writing. I know, for myself, if she had compared her shows to Harley Quinn and never once breathed in the direction of Bojack Horseman, I wouldn’t have ever been motivated to even criticize this series. I think a comparison to Harley Quinn is fair, it is an objectively worse version of Harley Quinn, but it is better suited to the style and audience of that show far and above something of high art and value like Bojack. Harley Quinn is simply not my tastes, I wouldn’t say it’s bad, but even with a gun to my head I could never in good faith consider it good. It’s better than Hazbin and Helluva Boss, but its also a fairer comparison.

Vaggie adds “gah” to her line about being a liar in the most painful way. While they obviously paid Stephanie the most, they in no way paid her enough to care. It was physically written into the script and it highlights how little the actress actively participated in the series. She didn’t even try to make it sound natural, she doesn’t care for the character she is playing and she doesn’t care whether or not we know.

It makes no sense that Angel Dust is still working for Valentino. He could just stay in the hotel and ignore Val’s calls and texts like we have actively seen him do. So it’s like he hates working for Val, does so under duress and due to a contract on his soul, but Charlie is the princess of Hell whom Valentino openly stated he was threatened by and her hotel and patrons are under the protection of Lucifer who aligned himself with Charlie and her goals…. Just don’t go? There is Vaggie, Charlie, Lucifer and even Alastor who are more than capable of handling someone like Valentino on their own, let alone as a united front. Why is this still happening?

The physical comedy falls flat. Cheri grabs Sir Pentious’ hand and it cracks and is all mangled like it is broken, but he has zero response to it. The humor requires there to be a reaction to the level of violence displayed. Having not even a minor one means the sequence may as well not have happened, and it frankly feels like an excuse to just say Alex Brightman was in the episode and have him say as many lines as possible regardless of whether or not he should. I genuinely don’t understand why this character is even in Hell. Who is he as a person? Just why?

Sera says she only green-lit the exterminations so that Hell didn’t act up, and places the blame on Adam for Lucifer getting involved. But then she just… keeps letting Adam do what he’s doing, which is what caused her to feel threatened like this in the first place. So essentially “This is all your fault because of the things you’ve done. So keep doing them.” I don’t even get why Sera or any of Heaven feels this way about Hell. I assume Sera knows Charlie’s plans about redemption, but she seems threatened by it? When in reality treating Heaven like a prize for sinners seems like a logical way of cooperating with Hell and even maintaining civil relations.

Also, can I just point out how the character designs really fail to send any sort of message. Alastor, Niffty, Velvette, Carmella and her daughters, Rosie, and Mimzy are hyper humanoid demons in a Hell where non-human designs make up a majority of the cast and the distorted, abstract and animalistic designs in Hell make sense, whereas Heaven is mostly humanoid with random demonic designs walking around. It fails to send a message as well as just makes Heaven and Hell entirely the same. It fails to really sell the idea that Heaven is in any way better than Hell. Honestly, demons should have less human designs and appear more twisted and deformed. Heaven should have prioritized humanoid figures. Especially seeing as Medrano with a heritage in Latin America and Christianity would know that the idea of Christianity she is supposedly criticizing emphasizes that humans were made “in the image” of god and angels. It also sets up an idea of one’s soul being cleansed by having this “godly” form. Mixing in furry designs at the same rate as Hell collapses any argument for media literacy or messaging being made.

Welcome to Heaven as a song is the best song of the show thus so far. It is the One Short Day of Hazbin, a vapid superficial scene-setting song that isn’t meant to further the characters, just the plot, and it actually succeeds. I’m not amazed by it, never would i play it for enjoyment reasons, but it works for the role it plays and is the only song that does so well.

Adam is telling Vaggie her own backstory, my favorite bad writing trope.

Additionally, I thought heavenly weapons were the only thing that could harm an angel. But Lute just rips off Vaggie’s wings with her bare hands. It really confuses the world when you don’t even keep to your own rules.

In the previous episode, Charlie says the hotel isn’t “working”, this episode has Adam demanding “evidence”. The lack of understanding what Charlie is looking for when she says Progress is never defined. On one hand she says Angel Dust is making progress, but just the last episode said that the hotel wasn’t actually helping anyone. Even at the start of the episode we don’t see any change in Angel Dust, just that he’s sad. He still swears performs sex work, is rude and crude, and at no point has his situation with drug addiction been addressed in any way. I can appreciate not wishing to say someone performing sex work is committing sin. As well as the implication that how one holds themself is unimportant to Heaven. But I think everyone can agree that drug addiction and abuse is harmful to those in the addiction and those who care for them. And also, it is extremely difficult to break. Drug addiction would be an excellent analogy for sin and breaking it would work as a parallel for redemption easily. So why is it the one thing you had going for you in way of themes and a show of progress and character growth we’ve never actually even addressed. In fact, Loser Baby enables the idea that Angel Dust’s use of drugs is fine because he’s a loser anyway. Just give up on yourself. So when this episode inevitably implies that Angel has actually been making progress on that front, it’ll make no sense.

That happened a whole lot sooner than I thought it would. And it being Husk saying he thought Angel was “Better than that” really does make his whole message in Loser Baby hypocritical. Him being the one to judge others on how they cope, offloading his hypocrisy on the excuse “I’m not trying to get to heaven”, but then still performs the emotionally abusive tactic of publicly and maliciously shaming is partner into a form of compliance. And this is the romantic relationship I’m supposed to be going nuts over? Even in the case where one can argue he is doing it from a place of concern, he has never once cared about Angel’s drug use in the series. It has never been mentioned in any detail of it being harmful. It is literally placed on the same level as his hypersexuality in the song Loser Baby, which we are supposed to wave away as not being harmful because he enjoys it. The line is he “samples” every sex toy and drug. This is just the Alastor must be lying because nothing makes sense argument, except its the world that doesn’t make sense and thus nothing can be trusted and the suspension of disbelief and the act of world building is inherently gone. This isn’t even a story at this point. It is merely a bunch of drawings doing things for nearly half an hour because time is money, and Medrano likes money.

I feel the setup isn’t too bad. It’s the story of Job, which, yes, you should use the material you are criticizing if you are actually seeking to criticize it (whether or not Medrano’s is even attempting a critique on Christianity is hugely up to debate, but that’s not for this kind of post). It’s Lucifer in the Bible coming to the court of god and saying he’s been on earth observing the humans. He claims humans would never worship god if not for god incentivizing them through blessings and so god is like, “bet, do your worst”. Except, in the Bible story it shows god’s callousness. He allows Job to suffer and gives permission to Lucifer to torture this faithful man, of which when Job laments, god chastises him for doubting. This removes the negative qualities of god from the story by just watching Angel Dust make his own decisions. Which works for the idea of free will, I suppose, but the idea of free will being imagination from the last episode to now just waiting for Angel Dust to choose to conform to an idea of morals takes away any meta critique on the nature of heaven. Just saying.

Still not a fan of how infantilized the show makes Niffty.

The scene with Angel standing up to Valentino was such an attempt at an emotional reaction, and in reality it only succeeds in tiptoeing the edge of emotional catharsis. It never gets to reach that point because we don’t actually see the way that Val and Angel interact most of the time. And I’ll just say it, the Poison sequence ruins this scene. It set up this idea that Angel Dust has complicated feelings for Valentino and in many ways their relationship is just as much an addiction as the drugs. But we never see the harmful side to Angel’s drug addiction and nor do we see his complicated feelings for Val break down as he grows closer to Husk. It is unearned. And then having Charlie point blank say why that scene exists for the narrative kills any and all investment. It was there just so Angel Dust can fit Adam’s checklist. So there is no authentic emotions attached to that scene from the ground up. It is a contrivance that feels almost hateful in its existence.

Why is Adam treated as Sera? Adam was the one who made the list, but Emily contributes it to Sera. Sera didn’t even know how a soul ends up in heaven, all she says is “he was the first human soul here”, meaning she defers to him to understand. To have her be the one saying not everything is written in ink, when she openly is the first one to say she hasn’t any idea, really confuses the lack of story you are trying to tell.

So, the whole series has now confirmed it has no clue how to tell a story. “If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie”, so the idea of moving between heaven and hell is not a concept. Someone from heaven cannot fall to hell and someone from hell cannot enter heaven, except they can. Vaggie. Her entire existence is proof that heaven isn’t forever, so why would Hell be? If anything, Vaggie should be a spark of hope for Charlie. Additionally, the threshold of whether souls can be redeemed has nothing to do with if they can or not. Rather, it ends the same way it began. No one is in control and no one has any power one way or the other. But Vaggie being in hell, despite being an angel, who was never held in a court to determine if she should fall or not and was deemed unholy by humans, not the council of angels, just brought this whole house of cards down. In fact, the person on trial should have been Vaggie, and in extension Lute. Who is Lute to have the right to make such a call compared to Emily? Why does no one bring up this discrepancy? And having Vaggie on trial instead of an ignorant Angel Dust being critiqued without his knowledge would have been a better vehicle for not just exploring Vaggie’s past, but also the ideas surrounding redemption and banishment and the values/hypocrisy of heaven. As it stands, this episode was a waste of everyone’s time.

Adam Stein brought nothing to the table, all the same issues in Medrano’s writing are present and played out here. Adam may as well be a ghost writer as he didn’t even attempt to bring any of his own strengths to the script. I can’t say I’m surprised at this, however. It is just Harley Quinn after all.

2/10