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my favorite thing about babel is how nerdy the characters are,,,schoolwork is so fundamental to their existence that literally everything is homework to them. being a spy? covering up a murder?? overthrowing an imperialist empire??? haha yeah man its just like doing a big assignment
#I LVOE THEM OK#THIS BOOK IS SO GOOD#babel#babel or the necessity of violence#babel an arcane history#babel book#robin swift#wren posts#wrenposts#wren made a tumblr post#wrenmadeatumblrpost#cuddlycryptid
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Hazbin Cast - On a First Date!
Alastor, Husk, Angel Dust, Charlie, Adam, Lucifer
Requests are open! If you enjoy my writing and want more please send me a request, I’d love to do some in between chapters!
Masterlist
Alastor
Would definitely not tell you it’s a date before hand
“You simply must try my favorite tea shop, join me tomorrow afternoon!”
Recommends his favorite tea once you get there, but compliments whatever you get
Pulls out your chair for you of course
Very confident
Obviously
Also he shadow walks you both there because he lowkey hates walking through hell when he doesn’t need to
Watches you intently as you take your first sip to make sure you do actually like it
Because he knows you wouldn’t complain if you didn’t
And he wanted this to be perfect
But he also just liked looking at you
And watching you
He would make the conversation all about what you like and what you’re up to and how your redemption is going
To hint about how interested in you he is
But he is legitimately interested in knowing all about you
Overall it goes very well
Alastor is an absolute gentleman of course
It is a rare exhibition of his more gentle side
But not too gentle
Not in public
Once you’ve both thoroughly enjoyed your tea he lets you walk back to the hotel together
Totally not so he can extend your time together or anything though
When you both arrive back at the hotel he gives you a bow and takes your hand in his, placing g a gentle kiss on your knuckles
“Thank you for your time, I look forward to our next date. Maybe you can select a restaurant you would like to try later this week?”
Only then do you realize this was a date
He did mean it as in a date date
Right?
Husk
Husk would be very casual asking you out
Not because he actually is calm
No no
He just wants you to think he is super calm and casual and collected
Honestly though he’s a little nervous
Even if he doesn’t show it
He had watched you gun down a handful of goons who were harassing a sinner you were trying to invite to the hotel
Wow did you look good pissed off
That was when it really hit him how much he liked you
Hell even admired you
So of course he wanted to take you out!
Husk would want to take you somewhere nice
Like the swanky Jazz restaurant he loves!
“Y’know if you want a night out of this dump, there’s this really good restaurant I like. They’ve got live jazz music every night! Don’t worry, it’ll be my treat.”
He winks at you after that with a dry, but secretly anxious, grin
He fixes his hair up extra nice for your date of course
Probably retires his bow tie at least three separate times before meeting you at your room door
With him he carries a single flower to give to you
All the way out the door he is giving you compliments
On your outfit
Your hair
Your shoes!
Everything
He doesn’t hold your hand in the walk there
No that’s too intimidating
But one of his wings stretches out behind you like a shield to the rest of hell
Once you get there he is very excited to tell you all about the jazz piece that is being played
You happily listen to him rattle off the history
But then his attention turns back to you
His expression is softer while he listen to you about how your day was
He loves listening to you
And on the way home he shyly takes your hand in his
He doesn’t let it go until you’re back at the hotel
Not quite ready to call it a night he pours you a drink
Your hushed giggles and conversations could be heard into the early hours at the hotel
Just enjoying each others company at the bar
“If you ever need anything, I mean it, I’m right here. How’s about next week I show you this record shop I like? I bet they even have the music you like to listen to!”
Angel Dust
He totally tells you it’s going to be a group thing
But he does not invite anyone else
“Ah I guess the gang got hung up back at the hotel, oh well! We can still have a good time just the two of us right tuts?”
He’d flash you the signature toothy smile and hook an arm around your shoulders
You’d go out to a bar, but one of his favorites
One where he doesn’t know so many people
But the bartender always keeps an eye out for trouble for him, so he felt good taking you here
He liked the way the dimmed lights made your eyes seem to glow
And how you laughed at all of his corny jokes
He always got more corny when he was a little nervous
Anytime someone else even dared to look your way he would eye them down
But mostly he was just happy you seemed happy and having a good time with him
His typical overly flirtatious jokes were fewer and further between than they normally might be
He was more anxious that he might actually need to follow through
Angel also didn’t want to give you the wrong idea
He really liked you
Sure you were good looking
Of course you were good looking
But he also liked the way you looked at him
And how you smiled when you were about to say something funny
How you’re sarcasm rivaled his
How a single soft touch from you made him feel grounded when he needed it
He held himself back from drinking to calm his nerves though
Angel wanted to be fully present with you
And he smiles softer as you told him all about the ins and outs of your day
The night slips away quickly as you both joke around for hours
Eventually he works up the courage to admit that he had been wanting to ask you out
“Well, I always have such a good time with you at the hotel, I thought it would be nice for us to have some time alone. Like on a date, if that’s okay with you?”
And of course it was okay
It was more than just ‘okay’
He lets you hold his hand when you reach for it
Trying to hide the little blush on his face when you do
As the night goes on he makes sure you don’t get over served and is happy to escort you home when it comes time
As he walks you up to your room he ruffles your hair and says:
“I’m glad I got to hang out with you tonight, just the two of us. I like spending time with you, maybe we can hang out more just the two of us? Go on an official date?”
Charlie
Charlie is somehow both overconfident and melting in anxiety at the thought of asking you out
She was very attracted to you of course
And she was prettyyyy sure that feeling was mutual
But so much could go wrong!
What if she tripped on her own feet walking over to you?
And then you laughed?
Well she could admit it would be kinda funny but who wants their crush to laugh at them?!
She would totally have a very school girl crush on you type vibe
Eventually she would plan it out through
With the help of her note cards and a poster board it was perfect!
“Sooo y/n, I was going to go to see this movie and then I was like ‘who goes to a movie alone?’ And then I remembered you saying last week you really wanted to go see this movie, so I bought us tickets would you want to come with me tonight?”
She’d battle her eyes with a huge smile and puppy dog eyes
Not that you needed the puppy dog look to say yes to her offer
You were as ecstatic as she was
The whole way there we would ask you questions about yourself
Your hobbies
Your interests
Your job
General afterlife
Admittedly she would excitedlyinterject her relating stories
Partially out of nervousness and excitement to have things in common
During the movie she would totally be guilty of leaning over and whispering to you to ask questions that where either painfully obvious or you had no possible way of knowing the answers to yet
“Who poisoned her?” “We don’t know yet”
But it was kinda cute
Honestly it was because a fair amount of her attention was actually on if you were enjoying the movie
And how cutely you laughed at the screen
And how the movie lighting seemed to cast a very pretty halo on your hair
During a particularly suspenseful scene she found herself holding onto your arm
She didn’t let go until the credits rolled
Afterwards you chittered about how good the movie was and your favorite parts
She liked the look in your eyes when you got excited about the subject
“This was so much fun, can we go on our next date soon? I bet there are a ton of fun things to do in hell!”
Charlie didn’t get out much, but she knew she would find something to do with you again soon
You would walk back to the hotel holding hands
When she walks you to your room she becomes more shy and gives you a tiny kiss on the cheek before telling you a bashful goodnight
Adam
Okay listen
Yes he is brash
But it’s kinda charming
The awe of meeting him isn’t lost on you either
He is so the opposite of how you would have imagined an Angel
Ever since you have accompanied Charlie to the meeting with him you couldn’t help from thinking about him
Even if he was the enemy
Especially if he was the enemy
And he noticed it at the meeting
The way your eyes glued onto him
He knew that look better than anyone else
So when he was setting up another meeting with hell he specifically told Lucifer that you were the only demon he would consider talking to
Alone
Lucifer tried to argue that’s literally not your job and no offense but like why?
But Adam wouldn’t budge
When Lucifer delivered that message to you, you tried to play it super cool
As if you hated the idea of seeing him again
But inside a piece of you was thrilled
So day of you might have picked out an especially attractive outfit, that’s not a crime!
When you arrived to the Heaven Embassy you were a little surprised to see he was appearing alone
You were more surprised as you looked around the room
Roses were scattered everywhere, the room was only lit by candlelight, a particularly lovely tablecloth was set out over the meeting table
Which Adam sat at the head of with a giant smirk on his face
Of course he was able to clock your feelings from a mile away
“Heya baby, thought you’d never join me!”
He’d motion to the set across from him and you’d nervously take your seat
The theatrics were flattering, or humiliating?, depending on how you looked at it, but a heavenly meeting is still very important so whatever the reasoning is for this must be important
“There is no fucking meeting.”
Oh??
“I just noticed you were hot and well, I’m hot too, and you were looking at me all ‘omg he’s so fucking hot!’ Last time so I figured I’d arrange a little something.”
Gobsmacked would be one word for how you felt in that moment, flattered another maybe more appropriate word
The heavenly figure snapped his fingers and a soft violin began to play in the background
“I’m not typically into the whole ‘talking’ shit, but you do seem maybe kinda cool and I never get to hang with sinners so I kinda wanna know..”
He asked you all about what day to day life was like in hell
Adam would work to keep his mind from just drifting to what you two could be doing right now
But honestly it was pretty fascinating to hear about what it actually is like down there
Sure he’s seen it evolve over the years, but it’s different to hear it from a primary source
He would definitely need to make sure nothing happens to you during the extermination in a couple of months
For a sinner you were remarkably interesting to him
The whole time you were still a bit amazed by the whole encounter
It was a little surreal
“Listen hot stuff next time we gotta do this in my domain, maybe then we can do a little more than just talk. This is surprisingly fun too though! See yah babe!”
With a wink his projection would be gone and you found yourself highly anticipating the next summons you’d get from the first man
Lucifer
You met through Charlie of course
You staying at her hotel and all
He had noticed how your eyes discreetly followed him during his visits to his daughter
At first he wasn’t sure if it was surveillance or attraction
So he came up with a theory
On his next visit before leaving he would make a point to thank you for your hospitality and keeping an eye on his daughter, not that she needed it
He’d take your hand and place a very respectful kiss on the top of it
The blush on your face was confirmation
So the next time he stopped by he had a plan
“Say, mind if I borrow your watchful friend? I could use those eyes to keep a lookout on me for a particular outting after I leave, not too long I promise!”
Of course you agreed, happily
But it was stressful being charged with keeping an eye on THE Lucifer of course
Honestly you had no idea why he had asked you to join him, all he did was stop by the house of some overlord and then go into a bookshop
While in the bookshop you might have paid just as much attention to the books as you did him though
Which was kinda impressive
He liked seeing your smile light up at the sight of a particular series, of which he made a mental note
The time after that he stopped by the hotel you opened the door and almost immediately turned to go get Charlie, but the angel stopped you
“Actually I was hoping to talk to you! Charlie doesn’t know I’m stopping by!”
He’d smile nervously as he pulled out a wrapped gift for you
The first book of the series you had been eyeing!
“I noticed, last time, you seemed rather excited about it back in the shop so I just figured I’d get it for you. As a thank you!”
You were very happy with your gift
And flattered that THE Lucifer even noticed such a detail
“If you’d like, maybe you could accompany me on another outing today? You see I saw a new cafe was opening over here in the Pride Ring and I thought wow y’know who might like to go to a new cafe? I bet y/n would, what a fun time that would be!”
He’d laugh at his own ramble and braced himself for your rejection which would never come
Of course you would love to go with him!
He puffed his chest a little at your affirmative and linked his arm with yours
“Excellent! On the way you can tell me what has you so interested in this book!”
The time passed quickly to get there
The king of hell listened with a big goofy smile as you described the series to him and all your favorite parts while you sipped on your drinks and nibbled your sandwiches
In his eyes, your excitement made you glow
He knew he would have to make a rubber duckie of the main character for you for next time
What a fascinating soul you were
At one point he was even bold enough to reach across and tuck a stray hair back into place
His finger tips lingered ever so slightly on your skin
It practically sent electricity through you
He even dared to hold your hand in the way back to the hotel
This time it was your turn to listen while he explained some of his latest ducks with fever
He was very handsome when he was talking about his gun little ducks
Lucifer wouldn’t dare try to kiss you I. The very first date, but he would place a gentle kiss on the top of your hand again
“Thank you for coming with me, I very much enjoyed our time together! I’d be a very happy man if you’d consider joining me again soon for a second date?”
He’d play it as cool as he could but truly he was giddy when you said yes!
You could totally tell
It was very charming
With one last bow and a wink he would be off back to his home and you would drift back to your room
Unable to hide the smile in your face
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel fanfic#hazbin charlie#hazbin lucifer#hazbin adam#hazbin angel dust#hazbin first date#hazbin hc#wrenposts#hazbin husk
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charles' "bro i swear these jocks are different" thing in episode 5 is always super frustrating to me, but also the more i think about it the sadder i get? bc like
charles was reliving his death last night. the moment when charles, the inventor of people-pleasing, stood up against his jock friends, he was fatally hate-crimed. and he returned to those final moments, like 12 hours ago
ofc he doesn't wanna rock the boat. ofc he wants to believe that there are guys that actually like him as a person and he can trust who wont hurt him
#being suuuuuper normal. btw#im writing my final paper about charles :3#so im rotating him perhaps. too much#but we love it#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#ineffablyenby#wrenposts
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Anyone else feel divine- but not in a holy harps and soft lights way but a feral and untamed way. Like you'll represent an aspect of something more then you'll ever represent a person?
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reblog if you think im cute and if you would kiss the stretch marks on my tummy
support me here if you'd like <3
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I hope no one's done this already
#wrenposting#the locked tomb#nona the ninth spoilers#nona the ninth#alecto the ninth#alecto the first#barbie alecto#alecto tlt#al dont look#locked tomb spoilers
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Wren’s prosthetics and one that didn’t work out so well
-Please do not reupload, edit, or use.-
#wren nerevarine#wrenposting#tes#dunmer#prosthetic legs#reference#artsyfartsyness#trypophobia tw#potentially#Given what heart stones are guessed to be I like to think the tools don't really react well to them and the chamber chunks become a little#hostile
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is there a word for a craving but bad. because i cannot stop thinking about the flavour and texture of sweet potato and i fuCKING HATE IT GET ME OUT OF HERE-
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the titans curse is THE percy jackson book for fans of mean lesbians. thalia and zoe are constantly trying to be the bitchiest dyke in the party and i love it
#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#the titans curse#pjo ttc#thalia grace#zoe nightshade#wrenmadeatumblrpost#wren posts#wrenposts#wren made a tumblr post#cuddlycryptid
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Oh Deer - Part Five
A/N: I’m back!!! I’m so sorry for the random hiatus, it was finals and my birthday and and and… anyway, I’m back to it now and am happy to be back to writing and posting!! Also HUGE thank you to everyone sending requests!!! I’m so excited to go to more of them and will be posting a few this week!! Again, just a big big thank you if you are reading this post at all!
Masterlist
I licked the blood off my claws, pleased with my conquest over one of my lookalikes of the woods. A fine dinner that doubled as an outlet for my pesky emotions that had taken over me tonight. Lilly, she had truly gotten to me tonight. It was one thing when I was the one toying with her affections, but for that little demon to play with mine? It simply pushed me to the edge. I hate letting another soul have this power over me, even more I hate how easily it comes to her. How all it takes is a blink of her eyes and I’m finding myself wondering what she is thinking. Especially tonight, I can feel the agitation creeping back just thinking about how she looked under the glow of the candlelight. She had smelled so sweet when we danced, cradled in my arms, it made me wonder if she would taste just as pure. I had been ready to demolish every soul in attendance at that party if it meant we could have the privacy I craved, ready to unfurl my frustrations onto her back in my room, ready to show her exactly what she did to me.
I caught my breath, swiftly cleaning myself and my dinner up. I steadied my mind. It was wise to send her away instead. I knew she would be safe back here at the hotel and it gave me the space that I desired to clear my head. My anger dissipated as I decided to check on her, no doubt curled up under her blanket or maybe at Husk’s bar if she had stirred.
Quietly, I melted into the shadows of my room and made my way to hers. The lights were off, it was all shadows, but upon inspection it appeared not only was her bed empty but it had not been slept in. I frowned. Maybe she had gone straight to the bar for comfort or something, she seemed to have an affinity for keeping a drink in her hand anyway. I slipped downstairs to the lobby and could see it was only Husk at his stand. That was not what I was hoping for, I stepped out of the shadows and placed a grin on my face, asking if he had seen Lilly tonight. The cattish demon gave me a sideways look, he suspected something was afoot, but wouldn’t dare press, and informed me that he had not.
That agitation grew within me again, I found myself searching the entire hotel for any sign of her. The kitchen? Angel’s room? The library? The study? The roof? Nothing, not even her scent. My anger bubbled inside of me at the realization, baring my teeth, I ran a clawed hand through my hair.
She was gone.
•
A giggle escaped my lips even as I held my glass in front of my face in order to hide my smile, I couldn’t help myself. I had found myself in a group with one of the overlords Alastor had introduced me to earlier in the night, Rosie. She had linked arms with me when she spotted me stuck in a less than interesting conversation upon my rearrival and allowed me to join her little group. Now I stood with her, one of her cannibal friends, and three other surprisingly pleasant influential demons. Rosie was good company, I understood why Alastor enjoyed her so much. She may not be the most outright powerful overlord, but he certainly seemed to understand the power of a charismatic personality, which Rosie had.
“Oh! Lily sweetie, would you please let me introduce you to a dear friend of mine, I’ve just spotted her!” Rosie asked cheerfully, seemingly to glance across the crowd to someone I couldn’t quite see. It was hard to say no to a smile like hers.
“Of course Rosie, I’d be delighted.” I smiled softly and she relinked our arms, quickly excusing us from the group as she promised we wouldn’t be long.
We took only a few steps before she asked me “So, how did you shake Mr. Broody? I didn’t think you’d be able to!” It sounded like she had been wondering the whole time. I felt my face warm as I thought back to the scene in which I had left him. Or more so in which he had demanded my dismissal. I couldn’t tell her how it had happened, it was simply too much to get into.
I waved away the question with my glass still in my hand and drew on a playful smile. “Oh he said he had enough of the crowd then something about preparing his next broadcast. He had wanted me to come with him back to the hotel, but I insisted my night was not over just yet.” We continued forward and she hummed a response. I couldn’t tell where we were headed at this point, but she seemed confident.
“Al’s just trying to look out for you, he plays all big and scary, don’t tell him I told you this, but he’s a softie deep down!” She sang and giggled at her gossip. “He must think you’re something rather special though, he seemed wonderfully caught up with you. It would be nice to see him happy like that more.” The last sentence was more so to herself than to me, it brought a dull ache to my chest.
How could I tell her how wrong she was, how he could barely stand the sight of me, it would seem. I wanted to believe she was right, but clearly he had no real feelings for me based on tonight. The fact that he couldn’t even bring himself to look at me, despite his physical attraction to me, which he had admitted to, Alastor must hate me.
“I’m sure he is.” Is all I say, looking around I’m still not sure where we are headed, surely by now we would have reached whoever she saw? “Rosie, who were you going to introduce me to again?”
“Oh sweetie, that bunch are just all huge gossips I wanted us to have some sort of privacy. Thank you for indulging me! Please feel free to stop by Cannibal Town anytime you’d like, I’ll have some fresh fingers ready!” She smiled cheerfully and I believed she meant her invitation. With that the one delightful demon I had managed to meet tonight went to rejoin her friends and I knew I was back on my own.
My eyes swept the room and lit up at the sight of the one demon I wanted to talk to right now, Angel Dust. He was lounging on a couch with a few other sinners it looked like and Valentino to his right. I was not so bold as to invite myself to such a scene, but it was good to see his face and know he is nearby.
Instead I became acutely aware of the sound of a familiar pair of heeled boots clicking up to me.
“Good there you are bitch,” Velvette, always a charmer. She was wearing an admiringly beautiful purple and black floor length dress, it glimmered gently under the dim lighting. The halter top style was unusual for her, but it looked very nice tonight. I straightened my back as I pivoted to face her, what could she need right now? “The waiters are almost out of all of the good food, make sure more is made, and here-“ she snapped her fingers and my clipboard fell into my hands, a long list of minute details to be fixed already typed up for me. “Fucking fix this shit!” She barked and then waved me away. I wanted to huff and tell her I’m not here as an employee, but I was still under her roof.
Besides, it was a needed distraction. As I bounced between the kitchen and soothing bickering guests my mind would have no time to linger on Alastor, which I was grateful for.
Steadying myself I drew back on a smile and headed off to check in with the kitchen as my first task. I quickly flag down the grumpy head chef to see if there is anything he possibly needs in order to keep up with the demand.
I had gotten all the bars restocked, fresh food was just starting to pour out of the kitchen, all of the tables were still in perfect order, and as asked the band would play the Vees’ favorite songs for the rest of the night.
I was halfway through my list when I felt a hand on my arm. “Lilly! Babe, I've been looking for you for an hour!” It was Angel, he sounded as happy to see me as I was to see him. I tilted my head back to meet his eyes, smiling back to him. He frowned at my clipboard though, plucking it from my arms and glancing over it.
“Angel, c’mon I need that back Velvette asked me-“ I strained my arms up to reach for it, but the effort was futile.
“She’s got you doing lackey work tonight when you look like that? No way, none of this shit is even important, it’s just an excuse to boss you around!” Angel said glancing over the list, he was mostly right, of course I had knocked out all of the actual important things first, everything left was petty work. But it was my petty work to do. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Yes, she is my boss Angel, that’s what she does!” I said, putting a hand on my hip to accentuate my displeasure. Part of me agreed with him though, I wanted to keep myself busy, but not like this.
Angel flagged down a miscellaneous employee who quickly trotted over. The spider demon shot me a look that told me I was being ridiculous. His plan was clear to me and when the sinner approached I at least recognized them as not an idiot. Angel passed the worker my clipboard and I shot them a dry smile.
“The Vees need you to complete this list of tasks, Velvette asked me to make sure you were given it once the important things were taken care of, thank you!” I politely instructed and the demon simply nodded nervously and skittered away. I felt slightly bad, but not enough to call them back and to take care of it all myself. One act of selfishness, I think I’ve earned it. Angel grinned as he started to lead me forward in the ballroom.
“Perfect! Now, how did you ditch your admirer, anyway?” Angel teased, batting his eyelashes at me. That pit in my stomach returned and I felt my face fall for just a moment before I restored my smile. I wanted to confide in Angel, but not here, not now. I needed a full blown debrief session fitted with pajamas and ice cream and a corny movie playing in the background to fill the silence between my shaky sentences.
I settled for a half truth. “Please, you know that's not how it is. He was tired of the crowd and I wasn't, so my night has continued without him.” I said, I could tell Angel didn’t quite buy my explanation by the quirk of his eyebrow, but he didn’t press the issue.
“Alrighty then,” He mused, sparing me, “Do you know how to play black jack? We got a guy in the North Lounge setting up friendly games, nothin’ serious! I bet ‘cha you’ll like it!” he steered us in that direction, walking through a doorway not too far away to another room off on the main one. Luckily I am familiar, the rules were simple enough: You want to hit a sum of twenty one with your cards, with face cards all equalling ten and aces flexing to equal either eleven one one, whichever was better for your hand. You wanted to stay at or under twenty one, but also beat the dealer’s hand which you can’t see all of. Every turn you would ask for a ‘hit’, being another card or you would pass.
“I might have played a few times before, this sounds fun!” I smiled as we walked over to the playing table. A demon who had taken on the form of a sort of fox was the dealer, four other figures sat at the table and I watched as they each either asked for a hit or not. At the far end of the table from us a demon who resembled a well dressed calico cat grinned as he had beat the dealer that round. Another, who seamed to be a muscular hell hound with dark grey fur celebrated as well. The other two groaned and muttered their goodbye’s apparently having had enough.
“Me-ow handsome! Could you be a doll and deal us in this next round?” Angel flirted with the dealer, taking a seat next to me and propping his chin up with his palms as his elbows leaned on the table. He turned our way as he passed out the first round of cards, throwing a wink to me as he did.
“A lady like that can play as long as she’d like at my table.” He smirked, running a claw against his slicked back hair before refocusing on the game at hand. The dealer was admittedly handsome, and his outfit didn’t match the sets I had laid out earlier so he was a guest who simply enjoys playing if I had to guess. His white button up had the first two buttons popped open and his suit vest was a deep forest green, contrasting the deep orange hue of his hair.
Finally I looked down at my card, an eight, pretty good. Impossible to bust on my next hit, but after that it is more of a gamble. Flicking my eyes over to the other two patrons I saw one of the pervious victors groan as his sum exceeded twenty one after his first hit. The same happened to the second man. Then it was my turn. The dealer politely asked if I would hit or pass, from half lidded eyes.
“Hit, ah, please.” I added, it never hurt to be nice to your opponent, even when luck was involved.
A queen, sum eighteen.
I wouldn’t be able to ask for any other cards, the odds of drawing a three or less were absurdly low, I could only hope his cards totaled less.
My eyes drag over to Angel’s cards, sum fourteen, it was worth taking a card at that point. A seven point difference was enough of a gap to make it fairly possible and with a low sum like that he was more likely to lose if he didn’t hit anyway. When prompted the dealer gave him his third card, bust!
“Damn, sorry Angel.” I placed a hand on his shoulder but he wasn’t exactly heart broken over the game.
Angel smiled back at me, “You’ll just have to win for the four of us then!” He said and I nodded, a small promise to do my best though it was out of my control by now.
“Sooo, winning the game for your boyfriend then huh?” The dealer quipped, he was holding the stack of cards but had not drawn his own next card yet, keeping me in suspense. Both me and Angel laughed at the idea, we’re not exactly each other’s type after all. He clutched his stomach with laughter which only made me laugh more.
“Please, that’s sweet and she’s a hottie so I’d be lucky, but absolutely not!” Angel giggled, dramatically wiping a tear from his eye. I brushed a strand of hair from my face, calming my fit.
“Angel here is great company, but no, I’m just going to win for my friend tonight.” I stressed the word friend, the dealer had been obvious as to what he was getting at, it was a nice contrast in my evening.
“I see, my apologies sweetheart, I just figured no way a doll like you was here all alone.” He said coyly. I found myself leaning slightly forward across the table towards him. Out of the corner of my eye I could have sworn Angel was shooting me a little thumbs up.
“Sadly it would seem so, now please tell me Mr. Fox, how long will you hold our game in suspense? I’m dying to know which of us wins.” I was flirting back, my tone was soaked in it, but I didn’t mind. The demon didn’t reply, instead he simply revealed his own cards to me. A Seventeen. I had won. I had won!
Angel cheered for me and as I have a sarcastic mini bow and a round of thank yous to a made up audience
“Thank you, I could not have done it without all of you! Thank you so much!” I dramatically blew kisses to Angel, the dealer and the two other grumpy demons who did not seem to enjoy our antics.
Angel clapped along for me as the dealer demon collected our cards and began to shuffle, it looked like he was just about to speak when his ears flattened back and he diverted his eyes ever so slightly. I looked at Angel and our eyes met, both of us confused at the sudden demeanor shift and I hardly had time to notice the furthest catlike demon leaving. My confusion fizzled out as it was quickly replaced with understanding and the immense urge to shrink away as well when the sound of the familiarly chipper and overly characteristic voice filled the room.
I didn’t have to turn my head any further to see them. Vox was accompanied by a succubus demon, she was stunningly beautiful as they always were, blue skin and horns as she held onto his arm. His his other side was a taller slender sinner, an ashy grey tone, dressed in a very well made suit, he looked to take great pleasure in his appearance. The trio strode in and while Vox tried to hide it I noticed how his somehow sinister grin drew up even further at the sight of me. I felt far less confident without Alastor behind me, even though I hated the realization, his presence is what had given me confidence earlier.
Angel met my eyes as they slid back his way. While Vox didn’t own either of our souls there was an understanding that when another Vee is present you were to be respectful and perhaps slightly on edge. I hadn’t had the opportunity to brief him on my earlier interaction with Vox, nor had I confessed to my discussion with him and Valentino a couple of days ago, so to Angel it was only a slightly tense situation. For me, I knew I had to be walking on eggshells right now.
The dealer walked to the other end of the grand table where the trio made themselves comfortable. I was thankful that he was further away, perhaps I could just ignore his presence from five feet away.
Angel raised an eyebrow at me, as if to ask if I wanted to go. It would look like I’m running away from him if we left now and somehow that sounded even worse. I didn’t want to seem intimidated, like I was skittering out of his sight. I’d have to hold my ground. I gave him a tiny head shake ‘no’ and he obliged.
“Tell me,” Angel said, a little louder than necessary. “What’s it take to get some cards down here?” He teased, leaning on the table pseudo-flirtatiously. Mr. Fox didn’t look our way, in fact the only way I knew Angel had been heard at all was due to the flick of his tall ears in our direction. I pushed down my anxiety from his loud remark the best that I could. Drawing attention to us wasn’t exactly what I would have preferred. I busied my hands by pulling my hair over my right shoulder, turning my head to the left like a barrier between me and the TV giant across the room. Mostly pointless, but it gave me some semblance of defense.
“Angel, please.” I half whispered, he gave me an apologetic smile upon realizing my discomfort, but Mr. Fox did indeed begin to deal everyone in. It was obvious that I was no longer our dealer’s primary interest, I couldn’t blame him of course, but he still threw me a wink as he flipped my card in front of me. My focus shifted back to Angel at this point. I was stuck here, but at least I wasn’t alone. “What did you get?” I asked him peeking over his way.
Angel held up his card to me between two fingers, kicking his legs a bit. “A ten, what about you?” I glanced back at my own card, shrugging my shoulders. It wasn’t great, a five.
“Little bitty five, kinda whatever.” I would have to hit, but my next card would either make or break me. If I’m lucky I’ll get a second low card and then my third would be higher, but that’s a bit of a big ‘if’ the way my night has been.
From the corner of my eye I could see Vox swirling his martini as he seemed to charm his guests, they were enough to keep him preoccupied. For years, maybe even decades at this point, I avoided any real attention from the other two Vees. Of course as soon as I start to try to improve my life in one facet, it crashes in another. I get a stable living situation, a couple of friends, just for fate to keep me in line by sabotaging my work life. I guess it is hell after all.
Maybe it would be best to distance myself from Alastor more, it was the whole reason Vox had any interest in me in the first place. Maybe Al knew that and wanted to protect me in his own way, however, I’d find it easier to believe that he just likes seeing how he can twist me around at this point. I’m sure his sadistic nature lends him to enjoying seeing just how far he can push me away before I run back to him for more. Maybe it was a mix of both even.
“So,” Angel started, drawing me out of my own head, “how are we going to get that cutie’s attention back on you where it belongs? I’m thinkin’ if we get him to relax just a little bit more you’d have no problem scoring him!” He was an excellent wing man I must admit.
“My competition is steep, if Tall, Dark, and Blue isn’t enough distraction I’m afraid I don’t have much on one of Asmodeus’ girls.” I yielded propping my chin up on the palm of my hand . Angel rolled his eyes at me. We spoke a little quieter.
“Oh please babe, he’s just keeping the big man happy right now. Besides, what do you do when you want Al’s attention? I betcha it’ll work even better on him!” He flicked his eyes over to our subject at the end, a grand smile filling his face. I, on the other hand, felt my face burn at the mention.
“Please Angel! I don’t do anything to get-” I cleared my throat suddenly feeling mindful of my choice of words. Even in hushed tones I felt as though we were being listened to. “- Alastor’s attention. He hardly even gives it to me in the first place. Tonight was an anomaly that I don’t see being repeated.” Unfortunately. I thought to myself.
But in honesty I knew exactly how I had gotten his attention tonight. He is territorial and jealous and anyone could see that from a mile away. That real hard part for people is figuring out just what he is territorial of. It was easy to tease those aspects though, especially if I feigned naivety.
The problem was I didn’t know that about this demon, I hadn’t even gotten his name yet let alone figured out what made him tick. What I did know is that he might be a bit of a flirt based on our brief encounter, and he knows when to shut up and pay attention, a good trait to have.
I watched him across the table, maybe on a better day it would be easier to pick out these things, maybe if my thoughts didn’t keep trailing off back to Alastor’s room, the feeling of his arms holding me against him, the way he had been as close as possible to kissing my neck. This guy…he might have decent looks, but he doesn’t have what Alastor has. I sighed in defeat, earning a groan from Angel as he gently shook his head at me. His star pupil, failing miserably.
“Lils, what’s really got you all wrapped up?” He asked softly. I couldn’t tell him here, not with prying eyes and ears around. Maybe we should call it a night and head back to the hotel, maybe—
My thought was cut off by the loud decisive ringing of a phone—Angel’s—he immediately had that look of regret and exhaustion spread over his face. Valentino. Angel flashed me an apologetic smile as he got up from his seat to go answer and even when I couldn’t see him outside the doorway any more I could hear his anxious pacing not far away occasionally peppered with “Yes Val”. I could only imagine that he was being beckoned back to Valentino’s side, if so I think it truly might be time for me to go home and stay home this time. I gave it a shot at least, that’s a start, maybe at the next gala in 100 years I’ll try harder.
Angel walked back in, clearly trying hard not to look put off, but I knew it before he could even say it. “I’m sorry to leave mid game, but Val says he needs me back asap.” He took a breath and pulled a smile back on, “Says he’s got someone for me to become acquainted with who just showed up, I promise we will resume our conversation tomorrow no way you’re getting off that easily!” He giggled to himself as he started to turn away. “That’s my job!” That did draw a smile out of me at least.
“I’m only ever a call away, you know where to find me.” I told him softly and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, but his mind was also elsewhere already.
“Thank you” his eyes flashed behind me and he gently lifted his chin up to motion. “Good luck.” His long legs were already carrying him out of the room by the time I followed his gaze to the dealer, he was finally headed back my way.
“Wow, was his hand that bad?” He quipped, running a hand through his hair, it made me giggle despite myself. I leaned forward on my elbows again into our banter. Maybe he doesn’t have what Al has, maybe he has something of his own.
As we chatted I was too distracted to notice the succubus that Vox had entered with leaving with the singular demon who had stayed upon their entry, even less so did I notice the well dressed demon on his way out a few minutes later. I should have, I should have noticed the lack of noise in the room, but I didn’t want to break out of our little bubble. I also should have noticed the eyes that had become trained on me, that the sound of boots walking my way weren't headed towards the door this time. I didn’t notice any of these things, or how the air suddenly hung stale in the air and was just a touch too cold for the amount of skin I had exposed.
It wasn’t until a heavy hand fell on my right shoulder did I notice anything was different in the room. Mr. Fox stopped talking immediately, straightening his back. He looked even more tense than when Vox had originally entered the room. I found myself tense as well, in fact I could have sworn I stopped breathing. I did not dare speak even if I wanted to scream when my admirer gave a curt nod to the overlord behind me and ducked out of the room. We were alone. Me and Vox, and white the note we had left on earlier in the night I was not excited for the expedited reunion. My mind raced as my heart pounded against my chest filling my ears with the sound of my own blood pumping through my veins.
Finally, he sighed.
“So you were able to ditch the guard dog?” Vox mused, his tone was flat, it was more just a statement.
A statement to point out how completely and utterly alone I was. I held my tongue, of course he was not expecting a reply from me so he continued.
“I’m glad you chose to stick around, well more so return to us, you and my old friend had scurried off at some point, but that means I won’t have to wait until morning to do-“ His almost casual grasp of my shoulder instantly tightened painfully so; he pulled me backwards out of my seat and onto the floor. “-This.” My shoulder connected with the stone flooring absorbing the brunt of my fall, causing a yelp of pain to escape my throat. Speaking still didn’t seem like the right choice, nor did any kind of running away or defense. I wasn’t going to out run Vox, or overpower him, I would need something else entirely if I wanted to escape his fury.
Still I attempted to gather myself on the floor, even an extra inch of space between us felt better. My breathing was labored as he approached my pitiful position. “I mean really one of our employees-“ he reached down to me, grabbing a handful of my hair and using it to yank my head up to look at him. “-coming in with my biggest rival! How the fuck do you think that looks?” His boot connected with my abdomen, a painful kick that knocked the air from my lungs. Still, he held me up in this half sitting position in front of him. I couldn’t stop myself, as soon as I got any air back in them I would spend it on useless pleadings. His face contorted to a disgusted frown as he stood before me. “And then-“ a second powerful blow to my stomach, elicited another desperate shriek out of me as I heaved. He did not seem to mind my screams, in fact he relished in them. “-when I give you a very gracious night I say, offer to stop embarrassing us what do you do? You.” Another kick “Say.” Another kick “No!” He releases my hair, not expecting it my head slammed against the flooring sending a sharp pain through my head. His foot connected as another blow to my abdomen sending me flying backwards until I slammed against the wall.
I feel dizzy as the aches and pains forming in my body spread and connect, I try to focus on getting more air as tears collect in my eyes from the pain.
“I’ll be better, I’m sorry—I’m so sorry, please Mr. Vox I—“ I sobbed, it was all I could do. There was no running, no hiding, no winning. I had made my bed and now I’ll have to lay in it. The overlord was not interested in anything I had to say. I could feel the blood dripping from where I had hit my head on the floor, my head was spinning, and honestly at the point passing out would have been merciful. Instead I feel his fingers intertwine with my hair again and he yanks me back up. I do not bother to lift my head to look, but he forced me to.
Vox has an unhinged look in his eyes, bearing his teeth at me like an animal ready to snap my neck. I couldn’t look away from his eyes though and slowly I felt a wave of calm wash over me. It drowned out the adrenaline my body was pumping through me to keep me alert, my senses felt dulled and either I couldn’t hear my own heavy breathing or I had finally gotten enough air. “You tell Al, this-“ he gestures to my over all appearance. “-this will keep happening every day because of him. And because you continue to embarrass me, and Velvette, by associating with him.” I felt compelled to nod to agree, somewhere in me I knew every muscle I had was begging me not to move so much, but I felt compelled. Vox released my hair sending my head back against the wall. As I looked at the ceiling I felt all the pains and aches pooling in my muscles and throughout me returning. I could hear him straighten his suit and his footsteps faded away from me.
I wanted to take stock of myself, to see how bad my injuries were, how much blood I’d lost, but I couldn’t bring myself to expend the energy. I let my eyes gently flutter between half open and closed as I sat propped up against the cool wall. That was my only solace, it was like an ice pack for me even if it was deeply uncomfortable. As I fade in and out of consciousness I thought about what I would possibly tell everyone back at the hotel, especially Alastor. Would he even care? Maybe just that it was Vox, not that I was hurt. At least that’s what I was telling myself.
Finally I could not keep my eyes open any longer, I let my mind find rest as I slip into unconsciousness, hopeful that rest is all I need, hopeful that someone will come across me at some point.
It felt like I was on a lifeboat floating alone in the deep ocean as waves pushed and pulled me in conflicting and nauseating patterns. It was hard to tell what was dreams and what was real, my mind was so foggy and when I opened my eyes all the way it felt like I was continuously falling down some infinite sinkhole so I preferred to keep them closed.
It felt like hours had passed, maybe they had. It made me feel that much more tired. Even when I was asleep I wasn’t resting. My dreams filled with what tonight could have been like if Alastor had not rejected me, if I had stayed home with him. How he would have run his hands through my hair afterwards, gently pulling out any tangles he ran into. How he could have held me against him as we drifted into sleep, his arms wrapped around me while I listened to the rhythm of his chest slowly rising and falling. My state made it feel so vivid, it was like I could actually feel his body heat and arms around me at one point.
At some point I realized I was in my bedroom. I don’t know how I get here or how long it had been since I was placed here. Maybe just maybe that meant it was all a dream. A ridiculous dream that never happened. I stayed home and went to bed like normal and never tried to do anything fun or risky or new and I never would ever again! But I was still dizzy and when I tried to sit up the poignant pain in my stomach told me I had absolutely not dreamt any part of last night’s events. My recollection of the night washes over me again and I let out a pitiful groan; I think I would like to stay here and never have to discuss the entire evening ever again and if it wouldn’t hurt so much I would like to grill up into a ball and never leave my bed again.
When I do get up I will have to face the consequences of my actions though, I’ll have to at least tell Angel everything, I’ll have to avoid Alastor, then I’ll have to go to work and take whatever abuse Vox and Velvette throw my way that day. God, Alastor. My chest ached like I’d had the air knocked out of my all over again at just the thought of him. I’m sure it was Angel who would have brought me home, he might have been discreet for my privacy. If so that means as far as anyone else in the hotel knows I had a lovely night out, good. I don’t want all the fuss if they know Vox attacked me and even though I have this nagging voice in the back of my head begging me to tell Alastor, the rest of my brain agrees that it wouldn’t change anything so why bother him with it.
A soft knock at my door draws my attention, I turn my head and smile softly when I see it’s Angel, I must have been right. He face lights up a bit seeing that I’m awake.
“You’re awake!” He leans his head back out of the door to speak to the hallway, “She’s awake!” Immediately I head husked voices excited chatter not too far away while Angel strides over to my side. “Damn toots you gave us, me, one hell of a scare with that shit!” He tells me, stealing and fluffing a pillow with one set of arms and then shaking pain medicine out of a bottle for me with the other. The rest of the hotel files in shortly after Angel, save one, and Charlie goes straight for the other side of my bed.
“Are you okay?! What happened? Was it someone we know? Are you okay? Do you need anything? How can I help?” She rapid fire asks, lifting my arms and seemingly checking for deadly injuries that will take a much longer time to self heal.
I smile at her. “I’m okay, really, just a bit of bed rest until I can repair and I’ll be good as new, my head already feels much better.” I tried to reassure her, but she didn’t seem as sure as I was.
“But, what happened after I left?” Angel asked frowning, sitting on the foot of my bed. I scanned my eyes across the room, Nifty had gotten distracted by a roach in the corner, but Husk and Vaggie did look rather somber as well. I tried to push myself up into a sitting position rather than laying down but it sent shocks of pain through my whole torso. Angel and Charlie each grabbed my arms to help comfortably move me up, my muscles strained, but I managed.
“Thank you.” I said softly and gave them each a reassuring smile. My hands fiddle with the blanket now in my lap and as I feel a bit better I finally remember to feel a bit embarrassed that I’m still wearing my dress from last night. “I promise it’s not a big deal, just…” I trailed off, I hadn’t had time to think of a convincing story. “A shitty party go-er pissed off that I play a better game of black hack than he did. To be fair he hadn’t tried flirting with the dealer.” I say and try to laugh, but it comes out a pitiful wheeze instead leading to a coughing fit.
“No big deal? Lilly, look at you!” Angel raised his voice just a bit but stopped himself taking a breath. “You can’t even sit up, or laugh, you didn't even call me and I could have been there to help you! Instead Alastor of all people turned back up and found you passed out, bleeding, in that room all by yourself! And what, it was just some stranger?” His voice was filled with concern and I could tell he wanted a better explanation.
“Alastor? What was he doing there, no, he left, he wasn't there.” I furrowed my brow, that didn’t make sense, why would he come back? If he did, where is he right now? I felt my face flush as the picture of him walking up to the pathetic scene of me curled up in the ground bleeding and unconscious, embarrassing. Why would that be embarrassing? But I couldn’t shake that deep sense of anxiety and regret even if it didn’t make sense. I held the blanket tight in my hands, electing to studying the stitching of it rather than look at my company.
“I know he was looking for you,” Husk offered, hands buried in his pants pockets. “Didn’t say why, maybe you know better than me, checking the fancy shmancy party y’all went to seems like a pretty sensible place to start looking I guess.” That only made my heart pump faster, he specifically was looking for me? Why?
“I, uh I see.” I sputtered out, I look back up to see all eyes on me expectantly, as if I would explain why Alastor might have been looking for me given we had headed out all together. I didn’t have an answer that I wanted to give them though. “I think I’d like some more time to rest now, and probably change out of this dress.” I scrunch my nose up looking down at myself, it was not in the pristine condition I had hoped to keep it in. There were dirty footprints on it and faint signs of blood that had dropped down, at least those should wash out alright of the black fabric. Angel nodded gently, giving my hand a little squeeze as Vaggie began ushering the other residents out.
“You heard the lady! Let’s go, Pentious, account for your egg boys too please.” She prompted them motioning towards the door. The serpent scooped up his little creatures and a chorus of ‘let us know if you need us’ ‘we aren’t far’ ‘feel better!’ ‘Wait! There’s one more bug I need!’ trailed out with them. Angel didn’t move though, his eyes were too busy trying to read me. Charlie was the last at the door, she raised an eyebrow to me as if to ask if I wanted him to leave as well, but I shook my head no and she left us to debrief. I knew that’s what he was looking for. Angel had become quite good at knowing when I wasn’t saying my whole truth quite quickly. He didn’t say anything so I knew I would have to figure out where to start, particularly difficult with your whole body is screaming in pain.
“Last night was…a long night.” I said with a sign. It earned a sarcastic snort from him.
“You don’t say?” He said with a smile, I playfully pushed his shoulder, breaking into a smile myself.
“Listen, it’s a long story so get comfortable.” He grabbed a pillow that I wasn’t using and hugged it in his lap, fully sitting on my bed now, and nodded when he was ready. I replay the whole night for him, enjoying his commentary and short booing at Vox every time I bring him up the first few times. By the end though, he stops playing around when I confess that it was Vox who roughed me up, and his ongoing threat. Angel looked to be deep in thought when I finished, as if he was looking for my next steps or some great solution. I knew there wasn’t one. As we stood, I would just have to live with Vox’s abuse on top of Velvette’s at work now and my relationship with Alastor, well there want even really a relationship to have ruined. Still, why wasn’t he here right now? What had his attention instead? It was hard for me to understand his actions from the last twelve hours, you don’t care, but then you do, then you don’t again, finally you really do, but then you stop all together?
I groan aloud from my internal dialogue, throwing my head back follow immediately by a wince at the pain it caused. Angel took that as a cue to get out of his own head as well. “Well, work is fucked, but as far as Alastor goes, it’s looking promising.” He remarked, happy with his conclusion. I raised my eyebrow and felt my lips part, then frown, and repeat a few times as I struggled to find the train of thought to follow.
“Alastor looks promising?” How the hell did you come to that conclusion? From where I’m standing the demon can’t stand me and any part that can is being beaten down buy the rest!” I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest
“Sorry, maybe now isn’t the time for humor.” Angel admitted, offering me a hand. “Maybe you should get changed instead.” He was right. I desperately wanted out of this dress now, a shower wouldn’t hurt while we’re at it either.
“Thank you,” I told him, sincerely, taking his hand to help me swing my legs over the side of the bed and slowly transition my weight into my feet. If my body didn’t like sitting up, it utterly despised standing. There was nowhere else to pawn the brunt of the stress onto, forcing my muscles to work double time, but I forced myself to do it anyway. Step by agonizing step I made it to my dresser, which despite only being four feet away from my bed made my heart beat like I’d just run a marathon. “I can take it from here.” Angel didn’t look convinced. I couldn't blame him. He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Yeah, you’re the fucking opitome of health right now.” He said sarcastically, his other set of arms still holding onto me.
“Angel I can dress myself, I promise, you need rest too. It must be nearly four in the morning.” I said looking at his face closer, I was right, I could see the dark circles forming under his eyes. He was also still in his party clothes and his hair had seen better days. “Please.” I added with a half hearted smile. Angel sighed and relinquished his hold on my arm.
“Alright, be you yell or text me if you need anything!” He says over his shoulder while walking towards the door.
“Of course, goodnight!” I say and he echos goodnight back before leaving me alone. I ache and groan, but eventually do find a suitable pair of pajamas and outfit for work in a few hours. I push work out of my mind again though, instead hobbling over to my bathroom and taking a much needed shower. The hot water helps relax my tensed bruised muscles and alleviates some of the duller aches. I desperately needed the relief it provides.
It is only once I have gotten out, dressed, and am tucking myself into bed that I had a searing sensation that I am not alone. Maybe it’s nerves, but I suspect it could be the man I wish to avoid, lurking in the shadows somewhere. His idea of checking on me I guess. Normally I would want to poke the beast, tell the abyss that he should just come out and speak to me, but I didn’t want confrontation tonight. I wanted to get my well earned two hours of sleep before I had to be back at Vee tower and face the day. So instead I whispered out a goodnight to the shadows in my room and turned off the light finally allowing my tiredness to win.
Masterlist
tags: @cannibalcoyote @thereeallink @asainfrustration13 @lexx-exe
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel fanfic#alastor x reader#alastor x oc#radio demon#slow burn#wrenposts#alastor fic#alastor fanfiction#oh deer#angst?
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hi friends! since this blog has been sitting inactive for three years, im officially recycling it!! rip doinggoodrecklessly, hello ineffablyenby!! i occasionally have TAZ content on my main, @cuddlycryptid if you want to give that a follow, but it is multifandom! as for this blog, good omens content incoming >:3
#wren posts#doinggoodrecklessly#ineffablyenby#taz#wren made a tumblr post#wrenposts#wrenmadeatumblrpost
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hm. slightly drunk + gwen kinnie + has the mr bonzo theme stuck in my head is… not a good combo?
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shirt reads "stupid idiot twink"
she/it U^ェ^U
haiiiiiii this is a repost but i just wanted to remind you all that im super hot and adorable and that you should subscribe to my twitch channel~ <3
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Happy Jurgen Leitner death day !!!
JURGEIN LEITNER?
STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITENER GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITNER
STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JURGEIN LEITENER I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP BOOKS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME
if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jurgein leitners waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down
if i have to deal withello jon Apologies for the deception, but I rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself. I’m assuming you’re alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldn’t try too hard to stop reading; there’s every likelihood you’ll just hurt yourself
#wrenposting#tma#the magnus archives#jurgen leitner#the beholding#tma jon#tma jurgen leitner#tma elias
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Wren had a lot of pastimes in Vvardenfell (alchemy, assassinations, pillow collecting, collecting ash statues because he thinks they're neat, uh, crying about his ex?) also he was kind of losing his mind, and once he figured out wtf the Sixth House was and the fact they were essentially wiped from history for a while (which means a LOT of records and specific cultural stuff was also assimilated or destroyed) he was very "ah yes well they're nice to me and even if they hate me they're still pretty polite about it, actually, I'll utilize this." And then he proceeded to pester them for recipes, clothes trends, other small cultural things lost to time. Just a lot of
"Yes, yes, Ascended Sleeper... Ulen? Yes, we have to fight to the death but hold on. Do you want great grandma's recipe that involved ingredients that went extinct more than a few centuries ago to be recorded or nah? Yes, while we're at it, even if I die you can at least preserve it in writing. Yeah, Uthol told me about the scuttle scones and I agree with him that letting them sit would be beneficial to the texture. I guess this is a point of contention between him and Endus? What do you MEAN you agree with Endus, the dough DOES need to sit! Anyway. Uh-huh? 2 cups. Now, is that a modern measurement or was it different? Okay, cool. Uh huh, yes. Thank you."
And then they start hitting each other
And this would happen repeatedly to a point that it would get around so there'd be Sixth House people warning each other that the Nerevarine was spotted nearby, he WILL approach and start asking about recipes and clothes trends extremely casually, and he for some reason can take way too many blows despite looking like the wind could snap him in half and he can't feel fear. He's like a fashionable and hungry boogeyman
#not art#vena vents#wrenposting#He's weirdly fascinated by them and he would have been even if he wasn't the Nerevarine#it just gave him a good opportunity to approach them#Scratches a similar itch to learning about the Dwemer I guess#I guess if you wanted to get the upperhand start talking about handsome argonian spellswords who have communication problems#and then he will cry and there you go
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something kind of iconic about getting a notification that one of my gravity falls billford posts got a like from someone with the same name as my abuser
like wow don’t like that but it’s objectively hilarious
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