#obey me solomon quotes

[devildomwriter]

“I don’t want anyone else deciding humanity’s future for us. I don’t care whether they’re angels or demons. Humans aren’t puppets for others to manipulate as they please. We should have the right to forge our own path and decide our own future. And I want to create a world in which we can do that. For that to happen, we have to convince angels and demons that we’re their equals. Which is why I need to be more powerful than I am… I’d love it if you could help me. Your support would mean a lot.”

— Solomon to MC (Nightbringer Chapter 14-16)

[corvus-for-ddd]

[butchmammon]

who gave him access to the oven first of all,

[comfortcharacterprompts]

Lucifer: It’s dark in here Mc: Don’t worry, I got this. Mc: *Stomps their feet* Mc: *Skechers light up*

[rainiishowers]

Lucifer: *Wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Asmodeus: I see you're bursting out the spring colors.

———

Mammon, rolling down the car window: what seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: get the FUCK out of my car

———

Luke: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it

Luke: And I started thinking

Luke: Like it was just trying to get food

Luke: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck

Luke: How would I feel

Simeon: Are you okay???

———

Mammon: You should always say "please" and "thank you".

Baby! Satan, deadpanned: Please shut the fuck up, thank you.

Mammon: Not what I meant, but still progress!

———

Mammon: *flirts with MC*

MC: *flirts back*

Mammon, internally: i did not plan up to this point. what the fuck do i do now…?

———

Belphegor: *washing the dishes* Who the fuck used this pan??

Belphegor: Wait. I the fuck used this pan...

MC: It was you the fuck

Satan: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Beelzebub: He the fuck

———

MC: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an Energy Smoothie would it kill me?

Solomon: *shrugs* Only if you die young

MC, getting out the blender: You're so smart

Mammon, running into the room: MC STOP-

———

Satan: I'm gonna open a cat cafe, but I need investors. Here's the plan. The first floor will have normal cats, but as you go up, each floor will have more and more dangerous cats, and at the top floor is me with a gun.

———

Beelzebub: *is carrying all the groceries*

M: *holds out hand to help*

Beelzebub: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold MC’s hand*

———

Asmo: And once again, Asmo and Solomon save the day.

Barbatos: You didn't do anything. It was all Solomon.

Asmodeus: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.

———

Diavolo: Would you kiss me for 1k grimm?

Lucifer: Why?

Diavolo: Just curious

Lucifer, playing along: ..I suppose

Diavolo: [Slams 1k onto the table] would you look at that-

[tsukii0002]

Solomon: I know one day you'll surpass me, but not yet, *laughs* there's nothing that you have that I don't-

Mc: Barbatos' affection.

Solomon: …Okay, you have something that I don't.

Mc: A pact with Lucifer.

Solomon: Stop it Mc, It was a way of speaking.

.

.

[my-names-angel-but-im-not-one]

Mc: at the end of the day , we're just human beans

Solomon: and together we shall rice

Mc: lettuce pray

Solomon: Ramen.

Satan: ....

Satan: what language are you two speaking?

[kpop-otome-yandere-here]

Solomon: “Can you please talk to me?”

Mc: “I could, but I don't want to.”

Solomon: “Can you please want to talk to me?”

[aydien677]

Salmon.

Mc: "Hey Salmon."

Solomon: "Mc, I told you before it's Sol-O-Mon"

Mc: "anyway, Salmon."

Solomon: *sigh*

Pickles

Mc: "So his name is Mepenalties"

Barbatos: *almost spills tea*

Diavolo: "No, no, Mephistopheles"

Mc: "Mefistoplease

Lucifer: *dies of laughter*

Diavolo: "Meh-phi-sto-phe-lese"

Mc: "Mephipickles"

Obligatory Masterlist link

[usagiglamour]

Asmodeus: You know, MC always gives Diavolo flowers after a battle. I wish you do that to.

Solomon: Okay.

The next day.

Solomon: Gives Diavolo flowers

Diavolo:???

Solomon: I don't know. I'm confused as well.

[l3viat8an]

MC: Careful now. If you keep being sweet, I'll start thinking you're in love with me.

Solomon: What could I have possibly done to make you think I'm not??

[devildomwriter]

“Hm...? I got a text from Lucifer..”

“What does he say? Is he thanking you for the vacation?”

“No... The opposite... He says, "When I get back, you're going to be sorry."”

— Solomon and Simeon (A Mandatory Vacation)

[corvus-for-ddd]

[villianbell]

Lucifer : i have no fears

Mc : what if you woke up and had a pact with Solomon?

Lucifer : ....

Lucifer : I have one fear...

[luxthestrange]

TWST Incorrect quotes#695 "Parents"

The Mc's With their "Parents"

Obey Me! Mc: If I fall…

Lilith: I’ll be there to catch you

WHB? Mc*looks at Solomon* What if I fall?

WHB? Solo: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side

Crowley*watches these two interactions*

Crowley, to Yuu: And if I fall?~

Yuu: I’ll be the one who pushed you

[rainiishowers]

Solomon: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

MC: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Solomon: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

MC: But I heard a siren.

Solomon: That was Mammon.

Mammon: Sorry, I got nervous-

——

Belphegor: If we put Solomon and Barbatos in a room, who would come out crying first?

Diavolo: The room.

——

Barbatos: Where's Satan..?

MC: Doing stuff.

Barbatos: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Lucifer?

MC: Trying to stop Satan. from doing the stuff.

Barbatos: And Asmodeus?

MC: Trying to stop Lucifer from stopping Satan. from doing the stuff.

Barbatos: I see. And what are you doing here, MC?

MC: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping Asmodeus from stopping Lucifer from stopping Satan, from doing the stuff.

——

Mammon: You can trust me! Let's not forget who pulled you out of the river when you were six.

Levi: let's not forget who pushed me in

——

Lucifer: You don’t want MC to die

Simeon: Right.

Lucifer: And I don't want MC to die.

Simeon: Right.

Lucifer: So we just have to make sure MC doesn’t want MC to die.

Simeon: Wonderful plan, but have you met MC?

——

Asmodeus: Do you think I’m ugly?

Solomon: It’s not about looks, Asmodeus. What’s valuable is on the inside...

Asmodeus: Aww.. Sol...

Solomon: For example, someone's heart.

Asmodeus: Aw... Stop it-

Solomon: It could be purchased for more than a million dollars, you know.

Asmodeus: Seriously, stop it.

——

Diavolo: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

MC: Eyy, homie!

Leviathan: But then there's cootie...

Belphegor: Die.

——

Lucifer: Who broke the toaster?

Satan: It was Mammon.

Asmodeus: It was Mammon.

Beelzebub: Mammon broke it.

Mammon:

Mammon: ...yOU PROMISED-

——

Luke: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!

Simeon: Luke, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.

Luke: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!

Solomon: ...It was a bug…

Luke: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!

Solomon: ...

Simeon: ...

Luke: Stop looking at me like that!

——

Asmodeus: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.

Lucifer: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

——

Mammon: I'm not that stupid!

Lucifer: Mammon, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Mammon: BELPHIE TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

——

Mephisto, referring to MC and Mammon: Those guys are dorks.

Lucifer, insulted: Yes, but they’re my dorks.