#obey me solomon quotes

[devildomwriter]

“Like a true imbecile, you’re honest to a fault. I hate that about you.”

“Wait, what? Did you just call me an imbecile?”

“Just finish your tea and get out. Imbecile.”

“Wow, talk about mean…”

— Barbatos and Solomon (NB Chapter 18-A)

[corvus-for-ddd]

[comfortcharacterprompts]

Lucifer: It’s dark in here Mc: Don’t worry, I got this. Mc: *Stomps their feet* Mc: *Skechers light up*

[rainiishowers]

Solomon: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

MC: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Solomon: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

MC: But I heard a siren.

Solomon: That was Mammon.

Mammon: Sorry, I got nervous-

——

Belphegor: If we put Solomon and Barbatos in a room, who would come out crying first?

Diavolo: The room.

——

Barbatos: Where's Satan..?

MC: Doing stuff.

Barbatos: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Lucifer?

MC: Trying to stop Satan. from doing the stuff.

Barbatos: And Asmodeus?

MC: Trying to stop Lucifer from stopping Satan. from doing the stuff.

Barbatos: I see. And what are you doing here, MC?

MC: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping Asmodeus from stopping Lucifer from stopping Satan, from doing the stuff.

——

Mammon: You can trust me! Let's not forget who pulled you out of the river when you were six.

Levi: let's not forget who pushed me in

——

Lucifer: You don’t want MC to die

Simeon: Right.

Lucifer: And I don't want MC to die.

Simeon: Right.

Lucifer: So we just have to make sure MC doesn’t want MC to die.

Simeon: Wonderful plan, but have you met MC?

——

Asmodeus: Do you think I’m ugly?

Solomon: It’s not about looks, Asmodeus. What’s valuable is on the inside...

Asmodeus: Aww.. Sol...

Solomon: For example, someone's heart.

Asmodeus: Aw... Stop it-

Solomon: It could be purchased for more than a million dollars, you know.

Asmodeus: Seriously, stop it.

——

Diavolo: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

MC: Eyy, homie!

Leviathan: But then there's cootie...

Belphegor: Die.

——

Lucifer: Who broke the toaster?

Satan: It was Mammon.

Asmodeus: It was Mammon.

Beelzebub: Mammon broke it.

Mammon:

Mammon: ...yOU PROMISED-

——

Luke: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!

Simeon: Luke, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.

Luke: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!

Solomon: ...It was a bug…

Luke: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!

Solomon: ...

Simeon: ...

Luke: Stop looking at me like that!

——

Asmodeus: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.

Lucifer: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

——

Mammon: I'm not that stupid!

Lucifer: Mammon, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Mammon: BELPHIE TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

——

Mephisto, referring to MC and Mammon: Those guys are dorks.

Lucifer, insulted: Yes, but they’re my dorks.

[l3viat8an]

MC: Careful now. If you keep being sweet, I'll start thinking you're in love with me.

Solomon: What could I have possibly done to make you think I'm not??

[aydien677]

Salmon.

Mc: "Hey Salmon."

Solomon: "Mc, I told you before it's Sol-O-Mon"

Mc: "anyway, Salmon."

Solomon: *sigh*

Pickles

Mc: "So his name is Mepenalties"

Barbatos: *almost spills tea*

Diavolo: "No, no, Mephistopheles"

Mc: "Mefistoplease

Lucifer: *dies of laughter*

Diavolo: "Meh-phi-sto-phe-lese"

Mc: "Mephipickles"

[villianbell]

Lucifer : i have no fears

Mc : what if you woke up and had a pact with Solomon?

Lucifer : ....

Lucifer : I have one fear...

[spark-river]

MC: Why are angels dressed sluttier than Asmo?

Simeon: Wha-?

Solomon: nudity was a form of purity too and in the end it's just a body.

Asmodeus: Michael definitely was the one to tell you that. He has his tits out.

Simeon: He doesn't?!

[my-names-angel-but-im-not-one]

Mc: at the end of the day , we're just human beans

Solomon: and together we shall rice

Mc: lettuce pray

Solomon: Ramen.

Satan: ....

Satan: what language are you two speaking?

[tsukii0002]

Mammon: Demons do not feel guilt, that is only for humans and angels.

Solomon: ... *grinning* Remember that cake you ate the other day?

Mammon: Yeah.

Beel: It was delicious

Levi: An Ur+ ranked cake.

Solomon: It was Mc's

Mammon: ...

Beel: ...

Levi: ...

Solomon: They had been working for two weeks to be able to buy it because it was an ultra-exclusive promotion.

Mammon: What-

Solomon: They came home tired every day from work and attending to your selfish needs… all so they could share that cake with everyone *falsely tearing*

Mammon: *crying* I'm a monster!!!

Beel: *sobing* WE are monster!

Levi: *balled up in a corner*

Mc enters the room and sees the brothers crying.

Mc: What have you done?

Solomon: Me? nothing :D

Mc: Don't tell me you are surprised when people tell you that you are more demon than human.

.

.

[devildomwriter]

“Who just attacks a person out of the blue like that? Really, Belphegor, you should know better.”

“…Solomon. You knew, didn’t you? That’s why you came to ___’s rescue just now… You’re trying to protect a fellow human.”

“Wrong. It has nothing to do with protecting a fellow human. I did it because ___ is my apprentice. And I won’t see my adorable apprentice harmed. Also, I’m the one who told ___ to lie about being a demon. If anyone deceived you, it’s me. So you’re blaming the wrong person.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that ___ can’t be trusted. Now get out of the way. I’m angry.”

“…And you think I’m not?”

“…”

“A group of high-level demons like you ganging up on a single human? I can’t say I approve…”

— Solomon and Belphegor (Nightbringer Chapter 11-1)

[corvus-for-ddd]

[skyeconch]

Solomon : *sleeping*

MC, nudges him : Sol!

MC : Sol~

Solomon, croakily : Mmh?

MC : Sol, wake up! Let’s go see the sunrise together!

Solomon : mmmh.. I’ve seen the sunrise a thousand times now, MC

MC : hmph, well I want to see it together! Wake up, old man!

Solomon, pulling the covers over his head :

MC : . . .

Solomon : 😌

Solomon : H-hey!

[MC drags Solomon to the balcony]

MC, mesmerized : Woah…

Solomon, rubs his eye :

Solomon, looks at the sunrise with a bored expression :

Solomon, internally : “sure, it looks beautiful”

Solomon : “not like the sunrise changes or something”

Solomon : MC, we should get back to sleep—

[The sunlight shines on MC’s face, he could even see the sparkles in their eyes]

MC : The sunrise is truly beautiful, don’t you think so, Sol?

Solomon, only looking at MC : yeah..

Solomon : ..really beautiful..

. . .

Solomon : MC?

MC : yeah?

Solomon : I… want to see more sunrise with you

MC : and we will..

[They holds hands and continues to watch the sunrise]

[apoorhuman]

Mc: I feel like a mother of seven children.

Solomon: but I thought Lucifer is well behaved and the only mature one? Is he not excluded?

Mc: oh no, no no, Lucifer is the only mature one

Solomon: then why did you say seven?

Mc: I never exclusively said "the brothers"

Solomon: .... Are you co-parenting them with Barbatos and Lucifer?

Mc: yes

Solomon: ...

Mc:

Solomon: be patient ok? If you need anything just ask me for help *pats mc shoulder*

Mc: ah... Thank you Solomon I appreciate that

[rainiishowers]

Lucifer: *Wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Asmodeus: I see you're bursting out the spring colors.

———

Mammon, rolling down the car window: what seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: get the FUCK out of my car

———

Luke: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it

Luke: And I started thinking

Luke: Like it was just trying to get food

Luke: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck

Luke: How would I feel

Simeon: Are you okay???

———

Mammon: You should always say "please" and "thank you".

Baby! Satan, deadpanned: Please shut the fuck up, thank you.

Mammon: Not what I meant, but still progress!

———

Mammon: *flirts with MC*

MC: *flirts back*

Mammon, internally: i did not plan up to this point. what the fuck do i do now…?

———

Belphegor: *washing the dishes* Who the fuck used this pan??

Belphegor: Wait. I the fuck used this pan...

MC: It was you the fuck

Satan: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Beelzebub: He the fuck

———

MC: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an Energy Smoothie would it kill me?

Solomon: *shrugs* Only if you die young

MC, getting out the blender: You're so smart

Mammon, running into the room: MC STOP-

———

Satan: I'm gonna open a cat cafe, but I need investors. Here's the plan. The first floor will have normal cats, but as you go up, each floor will have more and more dangerous cats, and at the top floor is me with a gun.

———

Beelzebub: *is carrying all the groceries*

M: *holds out hand to help*

Beelzebub: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold MC’s hand*

———

Asmo: And once again, Asmo and Solomon save the day.

Barbatos: You didn't do anything. It was all Solomon.

Asmodeus: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.

———

Diavolo: Would you kiss me for 1k grimm?

Lucifer: Why?

Diavolo: Just curious

Lucifer, playing along: ..I suppose

Diavolo: [Slams 1k onto the table] would you look at that-

[l3viat8an]

*In nightbringer*

Asmo: Do you realise there's a rumour going around that you're in love with MC?

Solomon: A rumour? Are you telling me people are doubting it????