#now im gonna sleep for a day and go straight back to work but
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Hi everyone, kind of a long update:
I booked an appointment at the doctors for the lumps in my neck, only to realise after some heavy googling afterwards that my lymph nodes are just swollen, which yes is weird bc I’m not ill, but they are relatively normal for swollen lymph nodes, as in they’re painful (a good sign), and they aren’t absolutely massive. So now I’m afraid I’m gonna look like an absolute knob to the doctor because i didn’t even know you had lymph nodes there 🫠
They have no apparent cause to be swollen though, so on a whim I did a little research to see if my 4n0r3x14 is what’s causing it, and I didn’t find any professional healthcare websites on this, but I did find a comment on an 3D forum of a girl who said she was 4n0r3x1c for just under a year and had permanent swollen lymph nodes in her neck.
Another commenter replied saying that it could essentially just be that her body is treating her as if she’s permanently sick, and so is mass-producing lymphocytes (white blood cells) to try and fight some invisible infection lol (when it’s really an 3D)
So if it’s anything, it’s probably that. But obviously I ain’t telling the doctor that, I’ve contemplated cancelling the appointment, but with my social anxiety I just feel like it would be an even bigger inconvenience to them and also I realllyyyyy hate calls.
Also, another thing I’ll mention here to see if anybody has any possible reason for this: I haven’t had my period yet, when I definitely should have. And I know your periods can stop with an 3D, but this fast? Really? I’ve only been back into it for 2 weeks. I’ve had the other symptoms that a period is coming, mainly my b00b$ (idk if I can say that without getting t3rm3d or smth lol), but yeah they’ve been very tender and heavy, which usually happens before my period, but I’ve just not had one still, and they‘ve been tender like that now for a good week and a half.
I definitely don’t think I’m pregnant, but my boyfriend is going to pick me up a test today just to bring me some ease.
Anyways, back to the actual 3D shit:
I haven’t eaten today yet, I had a C4 energy drink (15) before bc I was exhausted (I haven’t been to sleep all night), and I’m scared of gaining today if I eat my usual amount bc I haven’t been to sleep (idk the logic of that either really, I think my brain is trying to count it as adding onto yesterday’s c4ls lol).
It was supposed to be my fasting day today, but I got scared that the doctor was going to make me get a blood test (which he still might, but not today), and then it would show that I have barely any nutrients in my body. I haven’t eaten anyways, so either way, if he was gonna do one today I’d be fcked. But I’m gonna have a skinny bar or a fibre brownie or smth before I leave, just to hopefully keep me going for a little longer.
I’m also in work today, only on a 4 hour shift, which is both bad and good, bad for my money but good for my wellbeing lmfao.
Gonna take my rest day today since I haven’t slept, and I just know that going the doctors and THEN work straight after will drain the life out of me.
Idk how much I’ll eat today, I’m not feeling like eating much, but I will update you guys later on obviously with my daily rundown.
Im very scared, but I will be fine, everything will be done with soon, and I can relax and then just pure bash Minecraft when I come in lol.
If you made it this far, thank you, you’re very kind (:
Thank u all for being here.
#4norexla#thinspp#4nerex1a#ed but not ed sheeran#@na rules#light as a feather#4n@diary#4nor3xia#tw ed ana#an4m1a#an4r3xia#an4mi4#an4rexia#an4mia#ana y mia#anor3c1a#4n4m1a#4n4rex1a#4n4t1ps#4n0r3x!4#4narex1a#4n0rexic#4n4blr#4n4rexia#4n4tips#34t1ng dis0rder#3d but not sheeren#tw 3d vent#3d not sheeran#34t1ng d1s0rd3r
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I lived bitch
#now im gonna sleep for a day and go straight back to work but#i should be normaler now#gonna edit some posts and answer ppl#im incoherent under stress#v#ot
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hey guys
#vent#just... gimmie a sec im gonna put it in the tags i cant find the readmore on my phone rn#im havin a straight up not good time but not the worst in the house!#the worst is my cat. whose old and dying. and i have no money to put to sleep to fuckin put us both outta this misery#typical. she cant get a heart attack and go fast like my moms dog#shes gotta wail and be ill for a month while im recovering from one surgery and trying to get ready for the next#its also an amazing time for my ocd that i learned i have from artists on hear explaining what it is to send me into spirals#over germs. but shes just 20 with teeth and respiratory issues her whole life and been struggling with constipation#so i KNOW how shes dying. shes backed up and hungry and dehydrated but feeling bloated still and not eating or drinking.#shes probably got arthritis and has been moving like a geriatric for a while but its to the point now she wont even lay down. shes just#perched on a pile of towels in the bathroom dozing and occasionally crying for me to come pet her. im so fuckin tired#and theres nothing i can do! the vet i could find a timeslot for in a reasonable time said 500$. so thats cool. im paying 1000$ for me in#a week for my stuff and its just. god all she and i are doing is crying and it sucks ass#she wants company for comfort and i dont blame her - so the fuck do i!#but i cant sit in the bathroom with her my damn legs keep going numb. and my roomate 1) cant emotionally buoy me thru this#and 2) has a long work day tomorrow and its already mad late. sigh#dont try to offer me condolences ive worked thru her dying already its just now we're botb exhausted in the form its taking#if anything i just need another distraction to keep me from spiraling over something again#edit: ARUGH AND THE OTHER CAT THROWING UP IN THE OTHER ROOM. GOD DAMN IT#the younger one has so many allergies and wont stop fucking eating things off the floor babygirl i am BEDRIDDEN you gotta stop eating shit#off the floor!!!!!!!! you have specialty food for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#awesome it was right in my bed
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What an awful way to start my Saturday
#personal#ace is a mess#Tag talk#im so annoyed was gonna spend the day in a bookshop reading and then work on my writing as well was gonna be so good but instead#wake up to my period showing up early with worse cramps than usual. alarm hasnt even gone off yet but no way can i sleep#whatever its hair washing day anyway might as well just get straight in the shower. can barely stand to brush my teeth im in so much pain#so i just take some ibuprofen and go to shower which was a stupid idea 1 cus im hypoglycemic 2 apparently ibuprofen can irritate your#stomach which i did not know beforehand#its fine at first the hot water is helping with the cramps somewhat while im waiting on the painkillers but i start feeling lightheaded#while trying to wash my shampoo out and the hot water is actually making the feeling worse so im trying to rinse in short bursts#but of course then my vision gets fuzzy so i stop tryna rinse my hair and just breath through but nope. im gonna pass out#which im absolutely not allowing in a communal shower turn the shower off and sit down tryna breath through it again. really regretting not#eating at this point especially as im starting to feel nauseous which i always get whrn#when i havent eaten. after a couple of minutes start to feel clearer but my cramps are getting impossible to ignore again#i still havent eaten and have shampo still in my hair and im just gonna keep feeling worse until i eat so just need to hurry up and finish#turn the shower down so its almost lukewarm so it hopefully doesnt happen again. get all the shampoo out and get the conditioner on#when the nausea comes back full force and im not sure if its just cus im hungry now or if im actually gonna throw up#turn the shower off and get out and oh of course yep this is the time that im throwing up but theres no food in my stomach just bile#speed through the rest of my shower and get back to my room to text my mum letting her know im fine but will the painkillers still#work if ive since thrown up. she calls me asking if i was taking them for a hangover while im sorting out breakfast then explains#that yeah ibuprofen can make you throw up cus its irritating to your stomach particularly on an empty stomach but cus i took#them on an empty stomach at least half a dose shouldve gotten into my bloodstream first if not more she then asked if i was close enough#with any of my flatmates to ask them to go out and get chocolate for me when i said i didnt have any in nor any hot water bottles which#im not close with any of them and i dont fancy asking flatmates for favours when i just wanna curl up in a ball
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babyfever
smut below the cut, minors don't interact
we all know how babyfever!gojo would act but... what about babyfever!gojo and babyfever!reader??
it all started with a dream she had. she dreamed with a baby girl, blue eyes like the sky, white hair like snow, a little copy of satoru in her arms, sleeping peacefully with no care of the world. that was the last thing she needed.
"i want a baby"
that quote transformed gojo. of course he had thought of having a baby with her, a little mochi of theirs, his girl swollen with his baby, tits big and round full of milk... it was truly a sight satoru had dreamed of often.
from that day on, nobody could be near them.
looks full of lust between them during meetings, always sitting together and satoru's hands on her, touching her, feeling her. if she was teaching her students, he would make an excuse; "sweetheart, yaga needs you" yaga wasn't the one that needed her but satoru.
and there hasn't been a single corner of the house where satoru hasn't fucked her. the garden, the kitchen, living room, bedroom, guest bedroom, toilet, everywhere was filled with memories of him fucking her restless. he wasn't going to stop until she was pregnant.
his favorite position?? missionary.
he loves to feel her. her hands on his hair, neck, chest, nails digging and marking him like a possession, but fuck, he was hers and she was his.
"you like it babe? you like to feel my cock in your sweet pussy?" she moaned as an answer. he was pounding into her so delicious and so good, she couldn't think straight.
"f-fuck gojo-o, so good so good"
he stopped his hips and she whimpered, her hips moved involuntary. she was going to snap at him when he placed her legs on his shoulders, and started to pound on her again.
he was out of control. with her legs on his shoulders, he kissed her, her feet now near her head. lips and teeth and tongues meet on a sinful song.
" i'm gonna make you a mommy, gonna make this tits full of milk and im gonna ruin this pussy with my cum until you're pregnant "
"yes please, please, please, make me a mommy, 'toru"
“say my name babe”
“toru, toru, toru- wanna cum please, wanna cum”
his hand played with her clit. she rolled her eyes back, her hands gripped the sheets underneath and with a last thrust of satorus hips, they both came at the same time.
little did they know that she was already pregnant.
all rights reserved to ©rowaelinsdaughter no tranlations allowed. no copy theme. don not copy my work.
#jujustu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fic#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu gojo#jjk x you#jjk fanfic#jjk fic#jjk x reader#jjk#jjk satoru#jjk smut#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru#satoru smut#jujutsu satoru#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo saturo#gojo smut#jjk gojo
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Hi! I was wondering if you could do some angst with the hazbin hotel characters? Like we get into an argument and they yell and notice we went silent, looking as if we were gonna break down into tears, IM SORRY I JUST LIVE FOR ANGST AHHH
Hazbin Hotel characters making their S/O cry
Alastor
He was preparing for tomorrow night's broadcast when he heard the door open.
He had been working on his radio broadcast and hotel things for the whole day. He was under so much stress and took it out on you.
"Darling, you know I've been in here all day. Is it that difficult to knock?! You know these things are important! Why must you interrupt me?!"
He didn't get an answer. You just slammed the door and ran out.
He felt terrible as soon as he saw sadness in your eyes.
He ran after you and hugged you, rubbing circles on your back and telling you how sorry he was.
Lucifer
He was very pissed at how much Alastor and Charlie got along.
He was working on his rubber ducks, not hearing you walk in.
He didn't know you were in the room until you hugged him from behind.
"What? What is it now?!" He shouted, dropping his rubber duck to the floor.
"Could you leave me alone for five minutes when you know I'm busy?!"
"Wow, fuck you!" You said before slamming the door and using your powers to get to the hotel.
Alastor opened the door to see you crying and brought you to the couch, giving you a hug.
You barely got the chance to finish telling Alastor what happened before Lucifer ran to you, crying and apologizing.
You were able to talk things out and agreed to be more open about feelings.
Sir Pentious
Pentious was working on a new invention. But, since he was trying to get redeemed, it couldn't be for evil.
He was trying to build things to help with the hotel. Right now, he was making something to lift Niffty up around the hotel.
You were trying to help while also keeping the egg bois under control, not realizing you were distracting him.
"Will you please stop already! You're supposed to be watching them, but you're just as annoying!!"
You had tears in your eyes as soon as you turned around.
"Fine!" You yelled before running off.
"That wasn't very nice, boss. You should apologize."
When Pentious saw you, you were sitting on the couch by the TV with Charlie hugging you.
"Y/N, may I speak with you? I would like to apologize."
You silently nodded, standing up next to him.
"I'm sorry, my dearest, can you ever forgive me?"
"As long as you promise to tell me what's wrong and how to properly help in the future."
He pulled you into a hug and wrapped his tail around you.
Husker
The bar was open way later than usual because Charlie decided to have an open house for the hotel.
Free drinks were pretty much a necessity when you're trying to lure in sinners.
Husk seemed fine/ his usual brand of grumpy.... Until he saw you talking and laughing with some guy and pulled you into an empty hallway.
"What the fuck was that? Did you really think I would be too busy to see you flirting like a whore?"
Even with tears in your eyes, you could tell he's been drinking vodka straight.
You pushed him away from you.
"That's my cousin, you asshole! He was asking me about the hotel."
You ran away, going right to the room you shared with Husk and trying to go to sleep.
Husk spent the rest of the party drinking water and eating a few snacks to fight the future hangover.
When you woke up, Husk had his wings and arms wrapped around you. He didn't even bother trying to sleep.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I was such an idiot and I hurt the best person who's ever been in my life. I freaked out about seeing you with someone else..... because I know I don't deserve you, and I don't want to lose you."
He was crying into your shoulder, and you pulled him into a hug.
"You couldn't lose me if you wanted to. Just remember, I love you more than anything, and I'd rather die again than lose you.
(A/N : This sucks ass and I'm sorry this took me so long. I hope you like it, though. )
Requests open
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel x you#vivziepop#alastor#alastor hazbin#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#alastor x you#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer#hazbin lucifer#lucifer morningstar x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#lucifer x reader#lucifer x you#hazbin hotel sir pentious#sir pentious#sir pentious x reader#sir pentious x you#hazbin pentious#husk#husk x reader#husk x you#vivziepop hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#husker x reader#husker hazbin hotel
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prove it || c.b.
summary: after an argument between you, colby promises you that he'll do whatever it takes to get you to forgive him. requested by anonymous.
"i'm so tired of having this conversation with you! if you can't trust me, then we shouldn't even be in this relationship anymore!" you shouted, storming upstairs.
"you don't get to storm away from me in my house!" colby said, following closely behind you.
"well, maybe you should actually listen to me for once, and i won't have to storm off. i don't know how many more times i need to tell you that i don't want you for your clout, or your money. the faster you understand that, then the faster this fight can be over." you took a deep breath before speaking again. "colby, we have been going at this all day. i'm tired of fighting. until you get can get it through your head that i want to be with you, then i can't do this anymore."
you finished packing your things up, and made your way to your car to leave. you half expected colby to come running after you, but when he didn't, you finally let yourself cry. you drove back to your house in silence, letting the tears fall. this was the only thing that you and colby ever fought over, but after the fourth time having this fight, you didn't have it in you to continue to argue over it.
after a quick stop for food, you finally made it home. you sat on the couch, crying as you ate. you really were worried this was gonna be the end of your relationship, but you knew that you couldn't be part of a relationship where someone didn't trust you. you deserved better than that, and you weren't going to continue to put yourself through that.
a few hours passed with no word from colby. you figured you wouldn't hear from him tonight, and forced yourself to try to sleep. unfortunately, that proved to be easier said than done. you tossed and turned all night, mind racing with images of your night replaying in your head.
"god, this sucks." you sighed. you slept for a total of about two hours, and it hit you bad the next day. you moped your way through work, barely talking to anyone, or getting any work done. everyone was trying to get you to open up, and offer some comfort, but you weren't in the mood. you were just trying to get through the next few days, in case this was really the end. once you were finally off of work, you made your way home, and stepped straight into the shower. you sat in the bottom of the tub, letting the warm water massage your muscles, and washing away the stress from the day.
after your shower, you put on some pajamas and moved to the couch, turning on a movie. you rolled your eyes as all of your recommendations were romantic comedies that you were not in the mood for. you ended up turning on an action film that you ended up not paying much attention to. you spaced out as you ate your leftovers, feeling numb. you were all cried out, and now longer knew what to feel.
"god this has been the worst few days." you sighed, turning the tv off. you sat in silence for a while before there was knock on the door. you got up to the answer door, colby standing on your porch.
"hey." he said quietly. you stood there, your arms crossed across your chest, saying nothing. "can we talk?" you turned to move back into your house, colby following closely behind you. you say back on the couch, and he sat on the chair across the living room for you.
"talk about what? just so you can talk down on me some more? you've made it abundantly clear that i don't come from the same world as you and that i don't understand how the industry works." you spat, mimicking his voice. "news flash, i knew that when we met, and i knew that when we got together. you don't need to continue to make me feel bad about it."
"i know, i'm sorry. sometimes i just get too into my head about all this. you're the first real girlfriend ive had since i've been in LA, and im still having trouble figuring this out." he said softly.
"you can't continue using that as an excuse whenever you blow up at me. i understand you're having a hard time figuring this out, but sometimes it feels like you don't understand how badly it hurts when you say things like that to me. it makes me feel like you don't trust me and that you don't want to be with me."
"god, i'm such an idiot. i never want you to feel that way. i love you, and i love everything about us. i never want to make you feel like that i don't care about you, or i don't trust you. i regret that i ever did that to you, and i want to do everything i can to fix this."
"well, an apology is a start. but i need you to prove that you actually believe that and you do trust me."
"i do, and i will. i am so so sorry that i ever made you feel like i didn't want to be with you or that i didn't trsut that you were with me for the right reasons. i love you. i love you more than anything, and i want to be with you." he said, moving to sit next to you.
"i love you too." you said, pulling him into your arms. you hugged him tight and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
"i'm sorry." he said again, looking up at you. "so so sorry."
"i know. and i accept your apology. and all the future ones i expect from you." you teased.
you and colby spent the rest of the night together, finally feeling better after the last couple of days. you hoped that things would continue to be good for you and colby, and you would stay in a good place for a while. maybe forever.
#colby brock#colby brock imagine#colby brock imagines#colby brock fanfic#colby brock fanfiction#colby brock x reader
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Hai! I would like to req ratio x gn! Reader (omg i feel like your page is gonna be full of ratio fics lmao) anyways reader is like super clingy and always clings to him everywhere they go, holding his arms or his fingers (i feel like hes gonna be flustered anytime reader does that) even when they go to bed together, ratio couldnt even get out of bed in the morning cuz how tight reader holds his arm. Honestly you can pick the scenario cuz i couldnt think of anything lmao i hope this isn't to much
‘Your touch!’
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chara : Dr. Ratio
cw : fluff, gn reader, veritas ratio, reader is STRONG🔥🔥🔥
a/n : HELP UR RIGHT ANON IM GETTING SO MANY RATIO REQUESTS😭 But like, whenever I check the dr ratio x reader tag there’s only one fic per day...ratio fans are STARVING!! More food incoming from Rei!!!!!!!!
.⋆。⋆˚。⋆。˚。⋆. .⋆。⋆˚。⋆。˚。⋆.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈✩┈┈┈┈┈𝄞
Ratio couldn’t bear this anymore. Nighttime, he sat in his office chair, door locked to prevent you from entering. You were the reason he was like this after all. With his furrowed eyebrows, be buried his face into his hands, annoyed but flushed. He was extremely flustered and he just couldn’t contain it anymore!!
After taking a deep breath, the flush on his face slowly started to decrease. Now it was time for him to think back, as to why he’s so flushed! He leans back into his office chair, looking up at the ceiling — his brows still frowned. He recalled all those memories of you and him...
...
You slammed open Ratio’s office door as he was working — startling him a little. Without another word coming out of his mouth, you instantly crawled onto his lap and hugged him, resting your cheek on his shoulder. You could feel how Ratio’s heart started beating faster, and how he immediately stopped his breath. You only smiled as he tried finding words. “What are you...” Was all he could let out, before you dug your face deeper into his neck. “Nothing. Just missed you” you murmured. You could feel the heat of his cheeks rising every second.
Another moment, where you and Ratio were just walking along the sidewalk of Penacony, talking about trivial matters. Slipping your hand into his, he notices and flinches. You show him a smile and he sighs, the blush on his face undeniable as he lets you hold his hand.
Or even that moment in bed, where you had come home late, seeing Ratio already asleep in your guys’ shared bed. You instantly changed and snuggled up close to him, either burying your face in his chest or hugging him from the back. He opens his eyes after you finally fall asleep, trying to keep his heart beat steady.
...
All those times, gosh, you kept clinging to him! He didn’t hate it, no, never... But you were distracting him! It was like everytime he was in your vicinity you’d immediately interwine your hands or fingers, or you’d straight up hug-attack or pounce on him!
Lost in thought of you, he almost fell out of his chair — being startled by you breaking open his locked door. “Are you gonna sleep?” You ask him, walking over to his chair from behind and wrapping your arms around his neck loosely. Your damp hair from the shower you just took wetting Ratio’s shoulder and face slightly.
“Yes, after I finish the current project. There’s something missing in it.” He says, surprised you broke down the locked door, but feeling cooled and immediately forgetting about it by the water on his face and your hug. “Have you been sleeping enough? It seems like you haven’t.” That’s true, he hasn’t. He’s constantly kept awake, all because he isn’t used to the affection you pour onto him. Every small touch feels like he’s falling in love with you all over again, sparks that he thought could either never be lit again or lit at all — burning with every touch. “I’ve... Been distracted.” He admits, ashamedly. You pull back in surprise. “You? Distracted? Do tell why Doc!” You sit yourself ontop of his desk, taking his hand and playing around with it. His gloves, or just inspecting his hands.
He looks at you, praying you don’t notice his flush. His expression is unusually softer, he looks at you as if you’re something he just cannot figure out. He would never say this directly to your face, but, he’d like to hold you forever. “Someone has been distracting me.” He turns his head away, his eyes flickering from you time to time. “Is a co-worker bothering you?” You ask, still holding his hand but looking at him. “Not... Quite. They distract me in a way everytime they do little acts of touching me, I seem to be unable to stop thinking of it.” Your eyes widen, and he notices. “Such measly touches... Unable to escape my mind...” He repeats. You feel his hand slightly flince, going stiff for a second. “It’s... An addictive feeling...” You feel your own cheeks burn slightly. He looks at you from the side of his eye.
Your laugh fills the room, his face now turned to face you. He scoots his chair closer to you, his eyebrow slightly twitching. “Why are you laughing?” He articulated. “Nothing, you’re just adorable! Is this your way of saying you enjoy how clingy I am?” You wipe the tear from your eye that evolved from laughter, smiling at him and refusing to let go of his hand — not that he minds. His jaw slightly falls open, as if he’s unsure of what to say. Searching for the words. Only you could make him feel like this... Like an idiot... “Perhaps.” He almost denies.
You sigh fondly. Ratio immediately noticing the warmth in your smile. You jump off the table and stand besides Ratio’s chair. He looks at you, rather puzzled as to what you’re trying to do. But before he knows it, you scoop him up from his chair, your arms and hands underneath his legs and back. He’s caught off guard, he yelps.
You immediately take him to your shared room, closing the lights and leaving only one lamp with a warm dim lighting open. Then taking off any bothersome piece of accessory Ratio wears on his person and immediately cuddle him. He looks at you, surprised. But how he loved it when you held him like this, or when he held you. He didn’t say a thing, only embracing your touch in that moment — making the two of you drift into slumber.
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Anon this idea of urs was so big brain I think I crapped myseld
#˗ˏˋ ꒰ Rei writes ꒱ ˎˊ˗#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail fluff#hsr#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr fluff#gn reader#gender neutral reader#veritas ratio#dr. ratio#dr ratio#veritas#ratio#dr ratio x reader#dr. ratio x reader#ratio x reader#dr ratio x you#dr. ratio x you#ratio x you#dr ratio fluff#dr. ratio fluff#ratio fluff#I THINK THIS WAS RUSHED SSISOSPSPS#this is so late im the professional at procrastination#giggled making this fic actually
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What if you do angst x fluff? where Jason Todd fights with Y/n, had he just fought with Dick or something and he accidentally hurt his girlfriend? 👿 I like this dynamic, but I want it to be a real fight, you know? he enters a PSTD.
Im gonna do headcanons , warning( check the request)
Jason todd x y/n - he hurts her
out of all batboys he is most likely to lash out in aggression, by a landslide actually, especially fresh out the pit jason/ nightmare jason/ jealous jason.
He is also very very hard on himself about it.
Lets be honest here, this dude grew up on the streets , was trained to be a vigilante , got tortured, died, blah blah. He doesn't know how to control or regulate his emotions at all. He was never taught how to and the pit rage still is a part of him. He is really broken and so its very likely he lashes out
He is also very very insecure, he gets all in his head and he just cant control it and pushes people away.
You make him believe he can be better, that he deserves love and that you get what he is going through. Early on in the relationship he would just leave and not come back for weeks out of guilt.
once you convinced him to not leave and explained how much it hurt you, and once he explained how much at risk you could be but you accept the risk- after a very long discussion he learns to stay.
later on in the relationship he does overcome his insecurities and lashes out much less, so for him to actually physically lash out on you could only be one cause.
You betray him. He is either very jealous, maybe you have a childhood guy friend you refuse to leave. or maybe its a very hot coworker you refuse to stay away from in the name of professionalism. Or maybe jason just had an encounter with his past tormentors and they said something that got to him head and then he sees you laughing at the joke of your cute neighbour with the dog that likes you too much.
Now he is yelling and you're aggravating the situation. you had a bad day at work, and though you're usually calm and understanding , since you know what he has gone through, but you were just so annoyed that day or had a bad day yourself.
So when you start yelling back at him, he smashes a vase against the wall away from you. what he did not calculate was how the glass shard could fly and hit/scratch w2 you right in the arm. the second he sees you injured time stops
He crumbles, literally . crawls to you sobbing, hyperventilating - he might have a sezuire. this was his literal worst nightmare, and now its happened. you know he wasn't aiming the vase at you. you could either immediately realize or storm off and lock your bedroom, in the latter case he lies on the ground in front of the door the whole night sobbing out how sorry he is.
But if you comfort him and tell him its okay, he will just hold onto you and cry.
it takes him a while to forgive himself( a long while) so rough sex is gone, play fighting also gone. he goes silent , withdrawn almost depressed. You need to be patient, let him understand he didn't do it on purpose and this changes nothing in your relationship.
overtime things go back to normal, but he refuses to fight with you. He wont do it ever, he will leave , not for weeks but he will never put you to risk again. its like the cycle restarts and it takes him a while for him to trust himself around you when he's mad.
the thing here is, and stop reading the fic if you want to remain delulu (cuz I do too)
jason had a shitty past, he is not gonna be a perfect partner. he is going to be complicated and difficult to be with and you really cant expect anything else. it is very possible he straight up slaps you and then runs away to space for a month and then turns up on your doorsteps sobbing. He will often moan and cry about his past to you, bring it up often, often ruin the mood. He wont let you get a propers night sleep or let you have guy frnds and that an get annoying. ofcourse with love commitment and communication it could hcnage but you do at least for a while have to deal with that. No one expects you to clean up your lovers mess. this is only fiction and should not be romanticized. unless your irl partner died and was tortured for 2 yrs - you shouldn't deal with their shit. you have enough shit of your own to deal with
as a person who was with a guy who is depressed, I can tell you how hard this sort of relationship is. you sacrifice a lot. He developed depression one yr after we started dating, I left him 10 months after that. For 10 months I stayed with a guy who was cheating on me then calling em and crying about how "violated he felt" after consensually getting blojbs from random girls, randomly dissapearing for 4-5 days without a single text, who never wanted to talk anything about me not even for a minute, who couldn't listen to my problems but expected me to stay up 4 hours till like 6am even though I usually sleep at 11pm and then get up at 7am for practice. And I did it all, because he was depressed and I felt guilty about leaving him . But you need to prioritize yourself no matter how hot or broken a dude is. unlike jason, you can not "fix him".
#•#Jason Todd x Reader#Jason Todd x You#Jason Todd x Y/N#Jason Todd Fluff#Jason Todd Angst#Jason Todd Comfort#Jason Todd Headcanons#Jason Todd Imagines#Red Hood x Reader#Red Hood x You#Red Hood x Y/N#Red Hood Fluff#Red Hood Comfort#Batfamily#Batfamily x Reader#Batfamily Fluff#Batfamily x You#Batfamily x Y/N#Batfamily Headcanons#Batfamily Imagines#Batboys#Batboys x Reader#Batboys Fluff#Batboys Headcanons#Batboys Imagines
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please please please (NO PRESSURE BUT) (IM BEGGING YA)
something extremely smutty where like niall is working out: (literally need nothing else completely go ham its up to you but just like LOOK:)
the little jerk as he lifts up yk what im talking aboutt lets not pretend we're not *respectfully* looking.
as if i could say no to this 😅 it’s not the smuttiest thing, but if we’re open to a part 2, there’s a lot of room to play 😏
Word Count : 1.3k
it was the breathy grunts that first got your attention.
you’d never cared much for niall’s workouts, always preferring to have the quiet time, enjoying a cuppa, maybe a book or tv show. but as you were just getting cozy with your tea, pulling the blanket over your legs, you could hear him from down the hall.
it piqued your interest, the sounds he was making having reached your ears, and for some reason, shooting down to your centre, leaving a little tingle of interest.
and for that same reason, you were now leaving your warmth and comfort, flinging the blanket back over the arm of the couch, trudging down the hall.
once you pop head around the doorframe though, eyes coming into contact with your boyfriend, the tingle of interest in your cunt quickly turned to a dribble of excitement.
because fuck, was this the scene you’d been missing out on all these years ? you’ll have to remember to scold yourself for that one later, but for now, your brain was short wiring. niall was currently laying on his exercise mat, legs bent up at the knees, slightly spread, his arms straight up above his head, doing some sit ups with an exercise ball in his hands. and, since the universe wanted to punish you even more, with every flex of his abs, his hips would thrust up just a bit with the force of the movement.
he was glistening, a sheen of sweat all over his skin, torso bare for your eyes to ogle. and when did your drip of excitement turn into a full fledged puddle of arousal ? how long had you been watching ? why are you quite literally feeling yourself leaking down your inner thighs ?
it’s once he lays back down, taking a moment to breathe between sets, that you make your presence known. you weren’t exactly trying to, but a small whimper managed to escape your throat without permission. but really, his entire body was stretched out, muscles flexed, and if you look really closely, you can see the outline of his cock through his shorts. you really can’t be blamed.
niall’s eyes flick over to the door, noticing you, quirking his eyebrow, “what is it, love ?”
you bite your lip, heat rising on your cheeks at the prospect of being caught. however, niall was your boyfriend, had been for a long time, and moments like this don’t much embarrass you anymore, “d’you always look this good while you workout ?”
a loud breathy chuckle erupts from niall, echoing through the room, “gonna start joining me, sweet girl ?”
you squint at him, tilting your head to the side, looking at him with a playfully untrusting look, “was this your plan all along ?”
and so maybe he wanted to see if being a little louder than usual, a little more grunty than usual, would make you come over. and maybe he chose to forego his shirt, and maybe he spread his legs a tiny bit more than usual, in an effort to keep you around. “does it really matter now ?” he smiles innocently, “can see how wet your thighs are getting.”
“i hope you plan on doing something about that,” you smirk, shaking your head at your boyfriend’s antics.
“can’t do anything from way over there,” he hums, nodding his head in a come hither motion, “c’m’ere.”
as you finally step into the room, waltzing over to niall, he quickly reaches out for your ankles, his sheer strength taking over your moment of weakness, making you stop with your feet spread on either side of his head, eyes locked straight up between your thighs.
it was still early enough in the day, you hadn’t changed from your sleep shorts, tiny piece of fabric without any panties, something niall typically likes to tease you about, “why even wear anything if you’re gonna put those on,” he always drones on before bed.
but for now, he’s not complaining a bit, a fairly good view of your sopping cunt, peaking through the drenched fabric, arousal coating your inner thighs, “s’a good thing i’m parched,” he groans, hands gliding up your calves, stopping behind your knee, abruptly giving a tug, making your legs buckle. you squeak loudly, echoing through the room, as you were caught off guard, knees colliding with the mat underneath niall.
with your cunt sitting right above his face, niall groans, feeling the hot hot heat radiating off of you, “christ, and i thought i was warm,” he mumbles, his tongue darting out to lick along your skin.
he swirls around your thigh, taking his sweet time, lapping up any bit of arousal that’s made it way past your shorts, before moving onto the other thigh.
your legs were trembling, head tipped back, as your breathing accelerates. he was avoiding any area near your pussy, every ounce of your being aching for more. more tongue, more touches, more niall. more, more, more.
but once your skin was cleaned up, he pats your legs, groaning, “perfect post workout snack. think m’gonna jump into the shower now, baby.”
your eyebrows furrow immediately, because absolutely the fuck not, “like hell you are,” you quip, shuffling yourself until your centre is hovering right above his stiffening member. “you clean me, i clean you,” you murmur, leaning down over him.
and just like he did for you, your tongue slowly laps up the beads of sweat over his stomach and chest, feeling the ridges of his abs with every stroke.
your eyes flutter shut, the musky, heady scent of sweaty man wafting through the air, the salty taste on your tongue, it was doing things you never could have imagined. not once had you really given workout niall a chance like this, something he always does much too early in the morning for your liking. but the more you were delving into it, the more your brain was swirling with want. with need.
you couldn’t stop, too caught up in licking as much of him as you could, tongue flicking over his nipples, mouth attaching to his pulse point.
and it was working. you were teasing him right back. his telltale little breathy pants huffing against your ear whenever you were close to his neck, fingernails indenting your hips, his cock now painfully hard.
you’re not even sure niall’s noticed that his hips have started rolling, searching for any sort of relief, something you’re not too keen on giving into quite yet.
so a moment later, you pull away, coming to a stand, “better get that shower going, we have some things to do today.”
niall scrubs his face in his hands, groaning loudly for a moment, before getting up with you. and as quick as a flash, he’s got you scooped up in his arms, running off.
you squeal again, laughing loudly, as he whips down the hall, around the corners, and into the washroom. he quickly closes the door behind himself, setting you down on your feet, pinning you against the wall, “can forget about all those things you have planned today. gonna be too busy.”
you hum, your body melting against the wall, as niall’s mouth leaves a trail of open mouth kisses over your shoulder and neck, teeth nibbling on the shell of your ear, “hmm tell me. tell me what we’re gonna do.”
“gonna start by showering with me,” he murmurs against your ear, “and if you’re a good girl, i might use the shower head on you.”
you whimper, nodding quickly, “please, fuck. what else ?”
niall tuts, shaking his head, “depends how good you are for me. now how about stripping down and washing me off in the shower ?”
“yes, yes anything. m’a good girl, i promise.”
……
Masterlist
#niall horan#niall horan writings#niall horan smut#smut#niall horan fic#niall horan fanfic#niall horan fanfiction#niall horan x you#niall horan x reader#niall horan blurb#niall horan imagine#niall horan one shot#niall horan masterlist#one direction#hello lovers#writings#justmeinatree
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Roommate or boss?
part 1, part 3, part 4
Pairing: f!reader x Katsuki Bakugou.
Warnings: cursing, maybe a little bit of suggestive language.
Word count: 2079 words.
Having Katsuki as a roommate proved to be not that bad. He was almost never home apart from most evenings, and when he was home, he minded his own business.
It’s not like he didn’t acknowledge you to be under his same roof, he was a decent guy, even if he swore a lot.
After sleeping in the guest room for a month, he painted it like he said he would at the beginning, and it took him 3 days. He had to sleep on the couch to not inhale the fumes, and you heard him cursing every morning.
“Can you keep it down? Jeez, it’s 7 am” you say coming out of your room, having heard the commotion in the living room.
“You have to change this shit of a couch. My back hurts so fucking much. My feet don’t even fucking stay on the couch while I sleep ‘cause of how fucking small it is” he barks at you.
“Not my fault you’re big” you say yawning, while rubbing your eyes and going straight towards the coffee machine. You hated having early lectures.
He scoffs. You widen your eyes, shooting him a mean look.
“I meant to say you’re tall” you add.
“Huh? And what would even be the other meaning? Freak” he says flipping you off and sitting himself at the table.
“Whatever” you mumble, putting your coffee in a cup.
“Give me some” he says stretching his hand.
“Make it yourself, big guy” you reply, sticking your tongue out and going towards your own room.
“OI! And here I was about to make you breakfast in exchange” he loudly says.
You turn around and smile at him sweetly. “Roomieeee you didn’t have toooo” you say, trying to hug him.
You know he hates physical contact. He told you so after you accidentally touched his hand passing him the salt one day at dinner. He jumped out of his chair like he was burned by your touch.
“GET OFF OF ME YOU GREMLIN!”.
Meanwhile, things at work could be going better. Your manager came back the day after your talk with Kirishima, and saying that she was pissed off and nervous at the same time would be an understatement.
For the weeks after, she was nicer than she ever was with the clients, but meaner with you and your colleagues. Bitch.
One day you’re cleaning the milk machine when Momo comes behind you.
“I heard the boss came to know about her little escapades and he wasn’t happy” she whispers in your ear.
You throw her a sneaky look before admitting “it might be my fault”.
Momo gasps. “What? Why haven’t you told me anything?” she whisper yells now.
“Shh! It happened last month. You know the guy with the spikey red hair?” you ask her, and she nods.
“Apparently, he’s the boss’s right hand. He told me the boss needed her and I told him she left” you calmly explain.
“I hope she doesn’t come to know it was you who told him that. She’s already making our life a living hell” she sighs.
“Whatever” you say rolling your eyes. “I’m clocking out, see you tomorrow?”.
“As always, babe”.
While you’re going out, you shoot a text to your new roommate. You’re feeling lazy, but you don’t want to feel lazy alone.
You: ordering takeout right now. Do you want something?
Katsuki (roommate): who dis
You: Katsuki are you for real?
You: I’m your roommate
You: you didn’t even save my number?
Katsuki (roommate): wtv
Katsuki (roommate): get me wings
Katsuki (roommate): extra spicy
You: sorry, who’s this???
Katsuki (roommate): petty bitch
Katsuki (roommate): im locking the door
You: I’m calling the firefighters down the street and you’re gonna pay for the new door then
Katsuki (roommate): just get me fkn wings woman
You roll your eyes. This man is insufferable.
“What are you doing Saturday night?” you say while munching on your chips on the couch.
Katsuki is cooking dinner for the both of you. He’s been living with you for the past 4 months now. You’ve grown accustomed to his antics, and he’s done the same with yours. For example, he knew how you tended to overcook his eggs. And since he hated that, he cooked them himself, just like he was doing right now.
“Hopefully not seeing your ugly face” he grumbles. He watches you over his shoulder and puckers his lips. “Why are you so fucking disgusting? I always find crumbs of everything on that fucking couch”.
You roll your eyes. “Just answer the question, Bakugou”.
“Not gonna be home. I have to run errands at work. You bringing some scum over? I’m not cleaning stains on top of your shitty crumbs on that couch”.
He’s not paying attention to what you do anymore, cutting up vegetables.
“And I’m the disgusting one? Ew” you cringe. “Ochaco and I wanted to have girl’s night. It’s been a while since we’ve done that, but her roommates are at home”.
“Short girl, brown hair, round face?” He asks.
“Yeah”. You’re surprised he remembers, but it’s true that you’re basically always calling her.
“Don’t mind. When’s your next shift? You’re next on the “cleaning the bathroom” list”. He adds.
You barely ever talk about work: he said that he’s some type of accountant and he knows you’re some kind of barista. After all, you both don’t care about what the other does if you both still pay rent on time.
You like these little moments you have with him. They don’t happen that often, but it’s like you’re bonding over time. He doesn’t look like he thinks the same, though. Most of the time he voices that you’re “pissing him the fuck off with all your stupid fucking questions”.
“Tomorrow morning, and then on Sunday. It’s weird now that my ex-manager isn’t around anymore, our schedules are much more organised. I wonder why she got fired” you say thoughtful.
Katsuki stiffens up. Your manager has been fired the same week he fired Camie? Must be a coincidence, a lot of extras are shitty workers anyways. He shrugs it off.
He turns abruptly to face you and he scares you so bad you throw the chips in the bowl lying on your lap on your face. He laughs like a maniac.
“Why did you do that?! I get it, you’re a clean freak! Okay! I’ll clean the damn bathroom!” You angrily say.
“Curry is ready, rat” he says, wiping his tears.
“Great, now I’m a rat too?”. Katsuki has this bad habit of always forgetting names and just giving everyone mean nicknames.
“With all those cheese chips on your face? Yes, dumbass” and he starts laughing again.
“It’s all your fault!” you whine, and then help him set the table. You might be annoyed, but you know his curry is bomb.
You’re so happy to be free from Camie’s claws that you and Ochaco drink more than you normally do on Saturday night.
You’re both lying lazily on your bed when she’s telling you about her new boyfriend. He’s the same guy from that one physics assignment (which, by the way, you didn’t fail), and she calls him Deku.
“I swear you’d like him Y/N. He’s so shy, but his arms are so biteable” she dreamily sighs.
You look up at the ceiling before answering “and what’s the correlation between any of the statements you just made?”.
She throws you a punch. “Why are you lucid still? Just… blabber!” she complains.
You chuckle. “I’m so getting an aspirin for tomorrow morning, for both me and you. Just go under the covers and sleep while I’m gone, okay?”.
She nods and you stand up, wobbling towards your kitchen.
“You know, you still haven’t delved into how good or bad things are going with your new roommate” she suddenly says. “You know I need the details”.
You lean on the wall next to your door for some stability before thinking about it.
“He’s good, I guess. We talk here and there when we’re both home, he told me he’s enrolled in economy. He seems rough but he knows how to cook some bomb ass curry, so I’ll keep him” you sluggishly reply. Damn, you really drank too much.
“Yeah Y/N you’ve told me this much. But do you find him hot? Did any of you just enter the bathroom not knowing the other was in it?” your best friend mumbles.
“He locks the door before doing anything” you roll your eyes, then wince because it has hurt your head.
“He’s mean, but he takes the time to be a good roommate I guess? I’d like to know him more than he lets others know, yeah, but he’s not very talkative. To be honest, I think that he’s scared to let people in. I’m probably too invasive for him” you ramble on.
“Did you even hear what I said?” you ask after the silence stretches too long, but the only things replying to your question are your best friend’s snores.
You sigh, then continue going to your kitchen.
It takes a while for you to find the medicine, and when you do, you hear your front door being opened.
With your mind still hazy, you recognise Katsuki’s figure.
“Hi” you tell him.
“Hello? God, you reek. You’re becoming a rat more and more each day” he roughly says while getting his coat off and on the hanger.
“How was work?” you continue, ignoring his comment.
He looks you up and down. He thinks you look kinda cute with your cheeks tinted pink and your hair ruffled, but he’s really tired. “Good, mind your fucking business though. I’m gonna sleep”.
You look hurt for a second, then relax your features. He always answers this way.
You take a good look at him. The light that enters from the window behind your couch makes his face barely visible; with the moonlight as your only aid, you take a moment longer than usual to just stare at him. Broad, blonde, big shoulders, a light scowl on his face, red eyes that seem to follow your every move. Maybe, in his next life, he could be a hero.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re, like, really pretty?” you stumble out.
He looks at you like you’ve just said the dumbest thing ever.
“What the fuck are you saying? Just let me go to sleep and go do whatever the fuck you were doing before”.
“I said you look really fucking hot, Katsuki” you repeat, kind of annoyed. “It’s not like I asked you to cut your hand and offer your blood for a sacrifice, fuck. Why do you have to be so rude?” you spit out.
He’s surprised. “That’s not the words you used the first time. Pretty and hot don’t mean the same thing” he says, faking that he hasn’t heard your outburst, while stepping closer to you.
“Whatever” you mumble.
He stops in front of you. Maybe he’s been kind of rude lately because the situation at work hasn’t been the best. He fired Camie because he repeatedly heard she wasn’t capable of doing anything good on top of being mean to her colleagues, but finding another manager was stressing him out. He wanted to fire her as soon as he came to know her behaviour the first time, but Kirishima said neither of them had enough time to deal with her father. As much as this infuriated him, he was right. They were in their last year, and university wasn’t gonna finish itself.
You’re looking up at him with a scowl. “Let’s both go to sleep, m’kay? You don’t know what you’re saying” he says, nicer than any other time he talked to you. In the back of your mind, you notice he isn’t cursing anymore.
You keep on mumbling something and almost trip on your feet trying to get to your room.
You’re about to fall when he picks you up bridal style and goes to get you in your room himself.
Just before you fall asleep in his arms (how strong is he? He’s not even straining) you put your head on his shoulder.
“Thanks, sorry, I’m really drunk. I didn’t want to invade your privacy” you say.
He just shushes you up before telling you to sleep.
And just before you pass out, you notice he smells faintly like coffee.
#bakugo katuski#bakugou katsuki#bnha#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo fluff#mha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugou fic#bakugo x you#bakugo x y/n#and they were roommates#barista au
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Hi ☺️ Would you mind writing Gaming X female reader fluffy oneshot? Basically Gaming comes back from work and dancing practice extremely tired and just flops on top of the reader to cuddle....
Exhausted & Clingy Gaming
pairings: gaming x female reader
cws: none!
tags: established relationship, gaming being clingy and just wanting to cuddle, just some cute fluff!!
notes: i love gaming so much i could cry. im so sad though that he has ascension materials from fontaine?? like bro theres a pyro resigvine in liyue so why do u need fontaine boss materials
word count: 393
It was late at night, far later than Gaming usually finished the day by.
He had run into some issues with his final delivery for the day, making him go constantly back and forth to fix things until everything was correct and he could finally deliver it.
Usually with mishaps like these, Gaming was able to persevere and stay energetic and positive until the end of the day. But with how big today's mishap was, he was completely and utterly exhausted. He couldn't wait to go home and fall asleep next to you.
But seeing you had to unfortunately wait, as he had dance practise right after work. The mistake in the delivery gave him no time to rest between the time he got off work and before he started his dance practise, giving him no time to rest.
As soon as he finished with dance practise, he raced straight to your shared house despite wanting to take it easy.
He finally arrived home quickly and he quietly entered the house in case you were already asleep. He tip-toed to your bedroom, only to see that you were sitting up in bed with the lamp on and reading a book.
You sensed his presence and looked up from your book, giving him a smile before bookmarking your page and putting the book on the nightstand.
Gaming sighed with relief at your smile, walking over to you and immediately flopping onto the bed and partially on top of you. His head rested on your stomach and his arms wrapped around your hips as he melted into your touch.
You ran your fingers through his hair, and he let out another content sigh.
"Long day?" You asked, massaging his scalp. Gaming let out a satisfied groan.
"Yeah..."
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Tomorrow... I'm way too tired right now..."
You chuckled, moving to lay down in bed with him. You turned off the lamp and shifted around to face him. Gaming's grip on you tightened, and he moved closer to you, close enough that there was practically no space between the two of you.
"You're not even gonna get changed?" You questioned.
Gaming didn't respond, and on closer inspection, it turns out he had already fallen asleep. You smiled at his peaceful expression, and you closed your eyes to join him in sleep.
#← link to dividers !!#gaming x reader#ga ming x reader#gaming genshin x reader#gaming genshin#genshin gaming#yip gaming#gaming yip#genshin impact#genshin
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What They Text You: Applies to any...cause they're all a bunch of dorky teens and i dont care what anyone says.
Leo:
• look at my new plant
• would you like to have tea tomorrow?
• you look so pretty 😍 leo you cant see me and? i bet you do
• am i really an old man???? 😭😭😭
• be honest, do you think raph can beat me in an arm wrestle? if you dont answer in 5 minutes, i will assume it's yes and i will prove you wrong.
• good morning honey. have a wonderful day today! ❤️
• are you still mad at me...? LEO YOU SET MY MICROWAVE ON FIRE. so is that a yes?
• have you eaten yet? you need to eat...and drink something other than (your favorite drink)
• i got benched because i can't stop throwing up. i'm fine! leo...you threw up blood literally 10 minutes ago. it was only a little 🙄
• i'm in desperate need of a kiss right now.
• check out my new katanas
• remember that i love you 🥰🥰❤️
• for the last time, i wont download tik tok. you know how bad i hyperfixate 😠
• stop playing candy crush and pay attention to me
• keep it up and you won't get the knots worked out of your shoulders.
• mikey just called me a boomer...i feel like i should be offended. you are a boomer. I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
• y/n, i love you, but for the love of god, PLEASE PICK UP YOUR SOCKS.
• *drunk* im in a relationship why do i have your name as my love cause my girl/boyfriend/partner will definitely not like that and i dont know who you are but they will kick your ass and i dont even feel sorry cause you arent love leo...you're drunk. NO IM TAKEN
• call me cause i would like to hear about your day and i miss you
• i love you my love ❤️
Raph:
• come watch me bench im bored
• can you please come get mikey before i hit him?
• wear that giant sweatshirt to our date. ya look adorable in it
• why did you ask donnie to help you with your homework?? um...cause it's about neurons and receptors in the brain. i could've helped with google! 😒
• YOU NEED TO COME KILL THIS COCKROACH RIGHT NOW.
• hey babe. how was your day? ❤️
• have i ever told you how beautiful you are? what did you do. nothing...? i just think you're beautiful. raphael. fine..i broke casey's nose. AGAIN!?!
• i'm so tired...wanna come nap with me?
• facetime me so i can show you this cool trick spike can do
• remember how i said i was going to be more level headed? well donnie's new robot almost broke my arm and it's no more. you lasted 1 day more than the last time.
• *you sent a selfie* yeahhhh that's my baby 😍😍
• eat or im fighting you.
• jokes on you ive always been completely unhinged and it's bold of you to think i cant be worse.
• im sick. can you bring me some soup? 😣
• i miss you like a lot and i hate when you're gone
• i love you a whole lot 😘
• im just gonna start carrying you everywhere if you dont stop tripping over NOTHING. im just gonna trip harder. Y/N NO.
• mikey said we're his parents just an fyi. he's always been my son
• i made waffles. you better come eat some
• damn babe you're fine 🤤
Donnie:
• no i wont do your homework for you
• tell shelldon to stop talking back to me before i ground him for eternity
• im in a house of IDIOTS. technically it's a lair. not now y/n.
• you look like a pile of swans in that sweater 🥰
• i can't sleep. wanna play online scrabble?
• sweetie you need to eat more than a bag of gummy worms and a bag of doritos
• you need to come sit with me while i work because i need an extra set of eyes. you just miss me 😏 don't start.
• don't call a plumber! i know how to fix the sink. i got this 😎 donnie the pipe exploded the last time you "had" this.
• *you sent a selfie* you look nice
• im gonna blow up. a person, a thing, a place, all of the above? yes.
• you need to drink straight broth, it'll help soothe your stomach ache
• im dying. you have a cold.
• i love you but please stop trying to assemble ikea furniture on your own.
• good luck on your exams/work project! 😘
• TELL RAPH TO STOP PICKING ME UP TO MOVE ME.
• leo just called me an asparagus. i didn't know how to respond so his phone will self destuct in 5 minutes. DONNIE.
• you're so pretty 🥺
• i made you something and you have to come get it right now. im literally about to have my wisdom teeth out. reschedule it
• listen to the playlist i made you or else im disabling your pirated tv show service
• thanks for listening to me 💜
Mikey:
• babe come snuggle with me
• i made you brownies so come eat them with me while we watch crognard
• i haven't seen you in so long 😭 you saw me this morning. BUT THAT WAS HOURS AGO
• angelcakessssss i love you
• look at this cat video i found
• FACETIME ME THERES A PUPPY
• are you awake? mikey it's 3 am. good, so would you still love me if i was a worm? go to sleep.
• i bet you look like a cuddly bear today 🥰
• im so hungry. can you bring me ice cream?
• raph wont stop being mean to me. can you beat him up? cause a (your height) tall human can beat a 6ft turtle's ass 😑 i believe in you.
• im coming over with my new call of duty game and we're having a game a thon!
• i found a cat. mikey no. his name is gerald. MIKEY WE ALREADY HAVE 10 OF THEM. HALF ARE NAMED GERALD.
• i made you a mixtape i cant wait for you to hear it
• how mad would you be if i crashed the shell razor in a derby and broke my arm? very. then i did not do that.
• im sick. come help me feel better 😭
• call me cause april just told me something about casey that's wild
• i found this cool rock that i think you'll like
• it's so cool i can date you. you're for real the coolest. you broke my coffee table again didn't you? no...maybe.
• im bringing you lunch cause my baby needs to eat!
• this song reminds me of you 💕
#rise of the tmnt#tmnt 2012#tmnt ask blog#tmnt bayverse#tmnt donatello#tmnt leonardo#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt raphael#ask blog#tmnt 2003#tmnt headcanons
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i love you, i’m sorry-matt sturniolo
you and matt swore you were done, but are you?
warnings: fluff, swearing, happy ending
*there is a flashback in the story it’s in blue!*
empty. emptiness was what you felt. it had been two weeks since you left the love of your life, matt. you try to tell yourself, “well, it was his fault” or “i’ll be better off without him, it’ll just take time”, but nothing worked. you missed him.
you sat on your couch, something you had been doing more than usual lately, and stared outside through the window. you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything other than overthink. you would replay the moments of you and matt’s breakup argument in your mind, like it was a movie on loop 24/7. and just when you would feel a sliver of joy, the movie would start again, leaving you to drown in self pity.
it was getting late, so you picked yourself up off of the couch and laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling. sleep wasn’t exactly on your side.
it was about 1:30 am, and you were still awake when you heard your front door creak open.
what the fuck?
you sat straight up and froze, paralyzed in fear, not knowing what to to next. normally, matt would take control and go see what was happening, but he wasn’t there. he was gone.
you hear the persons foot steps get louder and louder until you hear them stop right in front of your bedroom door.
the door opened slowly, revealing a puffy eyed, sad looking matt.
he looked awful to say the least, he looked like he hadn’t eaten in days. his face was all swollen, his eyes bloodshot with dark bags under them. his face was glistening with tears, and his nose was runny.
“matt,” you say.
“i know, i should’ve called, im sorry.”
“you almost gave me a heart attack! do you know what time it is?”
“yes, i know, okay? i said im sorry.”
“why are you here matt, i thought we were over.”
“i know that’s what we said, but i cant stop thinking about you, about us.”
“matt,”
“i know, y/n, i know what i did was wrong. going to that party was a whole wrong decision in itself. but i still love you, y/n.”
“but matt, you pinky swore you wouldn’t cheat, and you broke it! how am i supposed to trust you now?”
“i don’t know, i just hope you can find it in your heart to give me one more chance.”
you think back to the night you found out about the party…
1:00 am, 2:15 am, 3:40 am, matt still wasn’t home. he said he was filming with his brothers, and you believed him. you called him, and he didn’t answer,m. you then called nick and chris, and they didn’t answer either. you give up, just telling yourself that their phones died, and you go scroll on instagram in your bed. nick posted a picture of himself and chris at a party.
where was matt?
you look harder, only to see matt’s lips pressed against another girl. her hands threading through his soft brown hair. matt was yours, so why was he with her?
matt arrived home, drunk, stumbling lazily into your shared bedroom.
“hey baby.” he says with a smirk.
“don’t call me that, matthew.”
“what the fuck is your deal, y/n?”
“this!” you say, throwing your phone in his face. you’re zoomed in on him and the other girl, matt looking at the photo. even his drunken state cant cover up the guilt and regret in his mind.
“who’s that?” he says, lying.
“that’s you, matt! who else would it be? you know what you did matt, and i know too. i’m not as dumb as you think i am.”
“it was just one kiss, so what? it was a party, and we were needy and drunk.”
“have you lost your fucking mind, matt?
“no i haven’t, but clearly you have, bitch!”
“i’m not gonna be talked to like this by my own boyfriend, so get out.”
“what?”
“i said, get. out. matt. we’re done.”
“come on, don’t you think you’re being overdramatic?”
“get out! now!”
“y/n?” you hear matt say softly.
you snap out of your memory, taking a second to focus back on reality.
“listen, y/n, i’m not asking for you to let your guard down again and take me back, i just guess i want you to know that i love you, and that im sorry.”
matt stares at you, his face full of desperation and vulnerability, and most of all, regret. a single tear rolls down his face, dropping on the floor as it falls off.
“do you promise to be loyal, matt?”
“yes, of course i do. i wont screw it up this time.”
“i’m serious matt, i cant take that again. i cant go through that again.”
“i promise.”
“okay then.”
“so, what now?” matt asks.
“do you wanna, maybe try again?” you ask softly.
“yes. i swear i wont fuck it all up this time.” matt replies.
you and matt hug, and for the first time in a while, you feel genuinely happy and loved.
“i love you, y/n.”
“i love you too matt.”
kind of a rushed fic but wtv!!
#Spotify#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#chris smut#chris sturiolo fanfic#chris x y/n#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#matt stuniolo fanfic#matthew bernard sturniolo#matt x reader#christopher owen sturniolo
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Snippet from a new story I'm working on :)
Just started this new demon x reader story! im thinking it's gonna be pretty short, like a novella. hope y'all enjoy!
warnings: language, violence, masturbation, sexual/kinky fantasy
Chapter One
Your life was perfect until the demon came.
Your husband, Ruben, had just been promoted at his job. You unfortunately didn’t know much about it, only that he worked for the government and whatever he was doing was top secret. But you didn’t mind that, because the love between the two of you was real. And that’s what mattered the most.
He bought you a pretty little house in the suburbs. You wanted to paint it pink and attempted to plant a vegetable garden, but HOA wasn’t having any of that. Life there was slightly stifling—after your upbringing in the country—but as long as you and Ruben were together, it didn’t matter where you lived.
You tried to pillage out a life for yourself while he was gone all day—bake sales, book club, bridge games. The ladies in the neighborhood were unbearably kind to you, and they always asked if you were expecting, but you assured them with a winning smile that you had just been eating too much cream pie as of late.
Ruben told you he loved you no matter your looks, and that he was sure it was just weight you had gained from all the baking you had been doing. You wondered what you had possibly done in your life to earn such a gem of a man. With that slick black hair and tan skin and kind eyes.
You were just kids when you met, he was sixteen and you were fourteen. Your best friend was going steady with him, and they invited you out on a drive together one day. By the end of the ride, Ruben asked you to take the passenger seat.
Four years later you married. Four years after that you had your forever home. Four more years would you have a kid, or two, or three?
Tonight was pasta night. You and Ruben would have a glass of wine, or two, and then make love. Back when you were first married, you did it practically every night of the week. Now you were lucky if pasta night even did the trick.
You launched a string of spaghetti on the wall. It stuck. You took the pot off the stove, dished out the noodles onto two plates, then finished with the meat sauce. For your own indulgence, you added some parsley on top. You smiled at the little green leaves and how pretty your dish had turned out.
Ruben should have been home thirty minutes ago, he promised as he dashed out the door that morning. But you’d gotten used to him being late.
You lit some candles and ate in silence. You meant to have only one glass of wine but another evening alone required a little more drink.
You cleaned up the kitchen and stuffed Ruben’s plate into a tupperware container before sliding it in the fridge.
As per usual on pasta nights when he didn’t make it home on time, you slinked into a nice hot bubble bath and proceeded to pleasure yourself. You hated yourself for it but couldn’t help it. In your mind’s eye, you imagined a big strong man with long flowy hair having his way with you. You moaned, aching at the thought of him railing into you on the beach, the waves cascading over your curves. He would grab you so hard it almost hurt.
Ruben had always been gentle with you, loving. But lately you’d found yourself craving more than just the ten minute humping fest. That gentleness he always had with you faded away into something more like passivity as of late. But you figured it was just stress from work. He’d had a lot going on lately and just wanted to come home, scarf down his leftovers, and go straight to sleep after work. It was fine. Every night before he crashed off to sleep he told you he needed you and loved you desperately—that you were the greatest accomplishment of his life. That was all you needed to hear to be able to wake up the next day and bear doing everything all over again.
Ruben was exceptionally late tonight, though. It was teetering on midnight. You tried to stay awake, fighting off sleep as you lay in bed. But eventually you nodded off, and dreamt of the man with wavy hair at the beach. He grunted as he slammed into you, but soon those grunts turned into yelps. Yelps that almost sounded like Ruben.
You awoke with a start. It was Ruben, screaming. Pleading.
You flung the covers off and dashed out of bed, racing to your puffy pink robe and slippers, shaking as you put them on. Ruben’s shrieks grew louder, hailing from the living room.
As you were just about to open the bedroom door, the voice of another man boomed: “You know why I’m here.”
You stopped in your tracks. He sounded ferocious, his voice much gruffer and deeper than your husband’s, or any other man for that matter. Blood rushed to your head as you tried to come up with a plan of action.
“No, please no,” Ruben pleaded. “I didn’t know!”
“Shut the fuck up!”
A crash.
A shudder shot down your spine. Your hands shook as you reached for the door handle. You twisted it, careful not to make the door hinges creak.
“Please, please don’t kill me!”
“Once I’m done with you, you’ll wish I’d have killed you, you monster. I’m going to take everything you love away from you, just like you took everything away from me.”
You peeped an eyeball through the crack in the door and caught sight of a large shadow looming over the living room.
“God, no, please! I was just doing my job, I didn’t know what they were going to do with what I built!”
“Like fuck you did, you piece of shit. You knew what you were creating.”
Who was this man? What did he want with your husband? You didn’t have time to ponder before the horror of Ruben crawling across the floor sent you over the edge. You clasped a hand over your mouth to stifle your scream. He was covered in blood, his perfect face bruised.
Pounding footsteps echoed across the room, and one enormous hand reached down and grabbed the collar of Ruben’s shirt, pulling him back out of your sight. The mystery man’s hands were red, blood red.
“Oh no you don’t. You’re comin’ with me, pal.”
Ruben squealed and retched.
You slunk out from behind the bedroom door and tiptoed down the hallway, your back against the wall.
“Where are you taking me?” Ruben’s voice sounded weaker and weaker.
“To Hell, where you belong.”
You took a deep breath, tears streaming down your face, before peeping around the corner into the living room. Ruben was on the floor, and the man…
No. Not a man. A monster.
He had his back to you, but he was so tall his head nearly scraped the popcorn ceilings. Not only were his hands red, but his whole body. He was frighteningly muscular, and you knew he could snap you and your husband in two with one finger. Everything caved in around you and your vision darkened. A hole grew within you and you felt yourself sinking into it.
The monster dragged your husband over to a circle with strange etchings on the floor, hoisting him up to stand straight. Suddenly, the circle lit up.
You knew at once what was happening. And this demon was not about to take the only thing that mattered to you in life to hell. Without thinking, you sprinted to your husband. Time slowed down as you ran, like you were treading water. You knocked Ruben out of the way in a split second, and he fell on the ground, out of the circle. You spun around and caught a flash of the demon’s horrid, snarling face. His eyes bore into your soul, then widened at the realization of what you’d just done as a flash of light spread throughout the living room. The place you had come to call home faded away as a ribbon of white strangled you and carried you off.
Chapter Two
You awoke to a strange scent. It was not the candlewick smell of home, but of ash and dust and smoke.
Coughing, you sat up. Wherever you were, it was suffocatingly dark.
“Finally. Thought you’d never wake up,” a familiar gruff voice snarled.
Footsteps echoed before bright light tore into your eyes. You leaned back, covering your face with your hands.
“Up and at ‘em, sunshine.”
“Wh-where am I?” Your voice sounded so tired.
“Take a look around, princess.”
You opened your eyes. A dingy motel room. You felt the scratchy covers beneath you. Dust covered every inch of the place.
You looked up, and saw it standing menacingly at the windows, hand on the ugly burgundy curtains.
You wanted to scream, but the sound got caught in your dry throat.
“Don’t scream. I’ve had enough torture for one day.”
“Why did you bring me here? What have you done with my husband?!”
“Your husband,” the demon growled, “is at an emergency hospital getting his wounds treated. He’ll recover.”
You took a deep breath as a wave of relief crashed into you. All that mattered was that Ruben was safe and away from this thing. Whatever torture he would undoubtedly inflict upon you, you could handle it. But not your Ruben.
“What do you want with me?”
“What do I–” He leaned back and laughed, a dark harrowing sound. “I didn’t even know you existed before last night. You weren’t exactly part of my plan, princess.”
You shuddered at the nickname. “Don’t call me that again.”
“Or what?” He crossed his arms. Thick black hairs sprawled up across them, contrasting against his blood red skin.
He was awfully well dressed for a demon, you had to admit. A white button down shirt that he had rolled up to his elbow, and tight black pants and black dress shoes.
“Staring me up and down, eh? Isn’t that considered rude where you come from?” he challenged.
Your mind fogged up. You weren’t clear headed enough to be sparring words with a demon.
“But to answer your question,” he moved away from the window, pacing about the tiny motel room, “I have no clue what the fuck I’m going to do with you.” His eyes sparked fiery red. “I only was approved for one trip to Earth to carry out my plan, and I come back with the wrong guy. Do you know how much paperwork I had to file just to come back empty-handed?”
You paused to think. “Then what did you want with my husband?”
“That’s not exactly information I can just give out, princess. Oops–” he raised his fingers to his mouth in feigned innocence. “Forgot you don’t like to be called that.”
You looked down at your lap. Your hands were bloodstained, you presumed from when you had pushed Ruben out of the way.
“How did I get here?”
“You fainted on the portal ride over. Been knocked out ever since.”
“I meant— in the bed.”
He fell silent. “Well, I didn’t just wanna drag ya. I’m not a monster.”
So he carried you. Great.
“I still don’t really know where I am.” You tried to look out the window, but it was too bright outside to make out anything other than white dust. “In the desert somewhere?”
“Kinda. You’re at the border between worlds.”
Your eyes bugged out. “What?!”
“Don’t worry. You’re still safe, at least here you are.”
You shot up out of bed, thankful to see you still had your robe and slippers on. “What do you mean, border between worlds? Am I still on Earth? Is this hell? Purgatory?”
“A purgatory of sorts, I suppose.”
You marched your way over to the window. It was just, nothing. Blank. White.
“This is the inspection point between Earth and the other worlds,” he explained, turning around to face outside. “Peaceful, yeah?”
“No! Not peaceful! Where is— anything!” You pressed your face up against the windowpane. Dust caked up on your skin.
“There is a diner nearby. I’ll take you there.”
“A diner? In this hell?”
“Oh, trust me. Hell ain’t nothin’ like this, hon.”
Tears welled up in your eyes. “I just wanna go home…”
“Welp, you made your decision last night when you jumped into my portal at the last second.”
“I was only trying to save my husband!” You faced him, standing up on your tippy-toes to be taller. It was the first time you’d really gotten a close up look at his face. His nose and mouth were turned upward in a permanent sneer. His eyes were dark, black, cold. Although you could have sworn at some point you’d seen them burn fiery red. His hair was jet black, slicked back with gel and neatly combed. And of course his face was just the awfullest shade of blood red.
“That was your first mistake.” He gnashed his fangs together and then tore away from you.
You scoffed.
“Come on, get dressed,” you heard him say from behind.
“With what? It’s not like I—” You turned around. The demon opened a wardrobe full of the most magnificent clothes you’d ever seen. They were just dazzling, a rainbow of different colors. Within the backdrop of the dingy room, it was like a butterfly batting its iridescent wings against the hood of a rusty old truck.
“I figured you probably had pretty extravagant taste, at least based off of that ridiculous robe and slippers.”
You pretended not to hear him calling your outfit ridiculous as you rushed over to the clothes. “Did you just go out and buy these?” You felt the fabric of each and every one of them.
“Nope. Conjured them up.”
“Oh my goodness! Thank—”
You caught yourself and let go of the fabric. “Wait. No.” This had to be some kind of trick. You took a few steps back from him and the wardrobe. “This isn’t right. You tried to kill my husband last night and I want to know why.”
“Like I said, princess—”
You shriveled up your face.
“That’s not something I can just reveal to anybody.”
“Then why are you treating me to all these clothes? Why take me to eat at a diner? Why not just kill me here and now?!”
“I have to have a permit to go out and kill people, sweetheart. And you aren’t exactly worth the paperwork. I have no reason to kill you.”
“Oh, but my husband was fair game?”
He gave you a long hard look over before licking his lips and stuffing his hulk hands in his pockets. “You don’t know the first thing about your husband, do you? Tell me, what does he do for work?”
“He—” Your face softened.
“That’s what I thought.” He moved away from the wardrobe, to the other side of the room. “You are just an innocent bystander who happened to get caught in my portal. It would not look good on my record for me to kill you, so I won’t. I’ll just make the most of our time together while I figure out what the fuck I’m gonna do with you.”
Your breaths quickened. “So, I’m just— just supposed to live with you?”
“Don’t worry, I have a nice spot picked out for us.” You thought you saw the slightest smirk on his face.
Your features mushed together, and for the first time since meeting this demon, you screamed.
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My Best Friend (5)
Authors Note: I’m working on this and Im ok with taking some requests id you guys have them too! Just read the rules please ❤️
Summary: Noah meets readers family and suddenly things make sense.
Words: 3400ish
Chapters- 1/2/3/4
Master List
You watch as Noah checks himself out in the full-length mirror by the door. His face is etched with worry, and you can hear the panic in his voice. “This isn’t it,” he mutters, tugging at his oversized white graphic t-shirt. He ruffles his dark, short hair, hoping it will fall into place and not look like he just rolled out of bed.
You stand up from the bed, your feet hitting the cold wooden floors as you lazily walk over to him. “We’ve been lounging in bed for two hours. We should’ve gotten up earlier if you were going to be this picky.” You stand beside him, bringing your hand up to the back of his hair. You run your fingers through the thick, silky strands, trying to tame the random waves. His eyes close, and he almost purrs under your touch. “There,” you say, slowly dropping your hand to your side. “That looks better.”
“I’m not prepared to meet everyone. Look at my clothes…” Noah chuckles, rummaging through his duffle bag with a playful grin. “I’m gonna be honest, Jolly made it sound like we were just chilling with your sister, and now I’m meeting your other siblings and your mom. I’ve only had 24 hours as your fake boyfriend—I need more practice!” He pulls out a few items, tossing them onto the bed with a dramatic flick of the wrist. “I just have to act like myself, right?” Noah’s eyes land on you, pleading for reassurance. “Right?”
You laugh, shaking your head as you watch him. “Right. God, I’ve never seen you this nervous. We’re just meeting them for pizza,” you assure him. “It’s not like you’re asking them to marry me or that we need to have a full make-out session. Just be yourself, maybe add a little more affection.”
Noah looks down at his outfit, a mix of an oversized white graphic t-shirt and bright, mismatched socks—one with black and gray polka dots and the other with black and gray stripes. “Do you think they’ll notice my socks?” he asks, wiggling his toes.
You giggle, “They might, but it’ll just add to your charm." You let out a deep sigh, "I should’ve told them I married Jolly. That would probably be more believable at this point."
Noah pretends to be hurt as he roughly grabs his plain black shirt and slides it over his head, “I can’t believe you’d even say that to me, as your fake boyfriend I’m offended.” He teases placing his hand over his heart. “Alright help me out, does this scream perfect boyfriend?” His laughter fills the room with warmth making you smile.
You throw your sweater over your head. “Screams, I’m on a road trip and I packed lightly, which is why,” you gesture to your skinny jeans and sweater, “I’m also dressed like this.” You playfully roll your eyes, but there’s a hint of anxiety in your voice as Noah finishes putting on his outfit. “Come on,” you say, reaching your hand out to him. “We can look like trash together.”
Noah smirks, grabbing hold of your hand and letting you lead him to the kitchen where Kyle and your niece are waiting with Jolly. “Figured we can follow them,” Jolly says sheepishly, sensing the tension.
You go straight to your niece and scoop her up in your arms. She squeals with excitement as you smother her face with kisses. You laugh, but it’s a bit forced, pulling back as she does the same to you. “I missed you soooo much,” you say dramatically, trying to mask your unease. “Thought you were gonna sleep the day away.”
Lily stares at you for a second, smiling widely before her gaze turns to Noah. She stares up at him with big wide eyes. “You’re big… like a tree.”
You giggle, and Noah nods in agreement. “It’s because I ate all my broccoli growing up. Miniature trees turned me into a giant tree,” he says, laughing and giving her a small boop on the nose.
“That was the worst advice, Noah,” you say, setting her back on her feet. “Not every girl’s dream is to grow up and be 6’3”.”
Lily giggles and looks back at Noah. “Do you have to water yourself too?”
Noah chuckles, “Only when I’m thirsty. And sometimes I need a little sunshine too.”
You roll your eyes playfully. “Great, now she’s going to think she needs to sunbathe to grow taller.”
Lily looks at you with a mischievous grin. “Can I have ice cream to grow faster?”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Nice try, kiddo. But I think you’re perfect just the way you are.”
“Yeah no ice cream yet, sugar.” Kyle says smiling. “We aren’t quite ready yet, your sister and the baby should be ready soon.” He shoves a few more things into his backpack and whispers to Noah, “Don’t rush on the kids part.”
Jolly chuckles, “Noah… kids, yeah right.”
“Hey, I think we’ll meet you there,” you say to Kyle, trying to keep your voice steady.
“She should just be another minute or so,” he responds, glancing at his watch.
“It’s fine!” you say, suddenly feeling the weight of the stress on your shoulders. “I know where we’re going. I’ve literally been going there since I was a toddler…” You pause, taking a deep breath. “Let’s go.”
Kyle nods softly, understandingly. “Alright.” He gently places a hand on your shoulder as you walk past, a reassuring touch that momentarily eases your anxiety. You nod, thanking him, but the knot in your stomach tightens.
As you head towards the car, you can’t help but think about the impending gathering. This wasn’t going to be a pleasant event. Your brothers, your mother, and your sister all in one room? The thought alone makes your heart race. Noah and Jolly would fully understand why you stopped visiting once this event was over.
You shut the driver’s side door with a heavy thud, the sound echoing your apprehension. Placing the keys in the ignition, the car roars to life, and loud music blares from the speakers, causing Noah to flinch. He quickly reaches for the volume button, turning it down.
“What was that?” he asks, hopping into the passenger seat, followed by Jolly sliding into the back.
“Yeah, you little weirdo,” Jolly teases, trying to lighten the mood.
You let out a deep breath, the weight of the upcoming encounter pressing down on you as you pull out of the driveway. “It was nothing,” you lie, your voice strained.
“Bullshit,” Jolly chuckles, but there’s a note of concern in his laughter. “You’re not fooling anyone, you know.”
“I know I’m learning new things about you, but I know when you lie,” Noah says, smiling, though his eyes are filled with worry.
“I love that you guys are excited, but I’m not. I don’t like this at all. Being with my family does not bring out the good in me.” You pause, gripping the steering wheel tightly, your knuckles turning white. “Either everyone is going to fake nice this shit, or all hell is going to break loose.” You stop at a red light, glancing at Noah, then back at the road. “This will be a shit-on-me fest. You’ll know things I never wanted to tell. Like when I was into drugs or using alcohol constantly… all the shitty, abusive boyfriends I’ve had… how I lied, stole, and cheated life.” You take a deep breath, trying to hold back tears. “This isn’t fun for me. This is why I didn’t want to come here.”
Jolly places a hand on your shoulder and you cringe under his touch. “You aren’t that girl anymore.” He gently reminds you.
Noah nods, “Yeah fuck em.” He says lightening the mood. “I’m sure their lives aren’t perfect either.”
As you drive, the familiar streets pass by, each one bringing back memories—some good, some you’d rather forget. The closer you get to your destination, the tighter the knot in your stomach becomes. You glance at Noah and Jolly, their presence a small comfort in the face of what’s to come.
“It’s gonna be ok.” Noah assures you.
You force a halfhearted smile as you pull into the parking lot, the weight of the moment pressing down on you. After parking, you turn off the engine and stare at the imposing building ahead. “Ready?” you ask the boys, your voice barely above a whisper.
Stepping out of the car, you wait for them to catch up. As you head towards the door, you’re slightly taken aback when Noah intertwined his fingers with yours. “What?” he asks, noticing your puzzled expression. “Aren’t we supposed to hold hands six months into our relationship?” he teases, a playful glint in his eyes. “I told you, I’m going to be the best fake boyfriend I can be.”
Jolly chuckles, holding the door open and motioning for the two of you to enter. “I can already feel your brothers’ hate,” he jokes, his laughter echoing in the air.
You playfully roll your eyes as you stride into the restaurant, the familiar buzz of chatter and clinking glasses filling the air. The aroma of freshly baked pizza and the hum of conversations create a comforting backdrop. From afar, you spot your family, beers already lined up on the table in front of them.
You wave as you approach, and everyone stands for hugs and introductions. For a moment, you love how normal this all seems. Your older brother steps forward with a confident grin. “Josh, you must be Noah!” he says, extending a hand. You notice the firm handshake but also the genuine smile on his lips.
“Yeah, man. I’ve heard all about you guys. Nice to finally put names to the faces,” Noah replies, pulling out a chair and gesturing for you to sit.
You smile as you take the seat, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. Noah sits next to you, casually draping an arm around the back of your chair, while Jolly takes the seat on your other side, already reminiscing about old times. You can almost see the wheels turning in Josh’s head, wondering what kind of chaos will ensue once your sister and older brother start interacting.
“This one looks hella normal. Are you ill?” your little brother, Benjamin, asks with a mischievous grin.
“Normal? That’s a first,” Josh quips, raising an eyebrow. “I was starting to think you only dated weirdos.”
Noah chuckles, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. He nuzzles into your neck playfully and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Did you hear that, babe? They think I’m normal,” he teases, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
Benjamin laughs, shaking his head. “Well, good luck and welcome to the family, Noah.”
Your mother, sitting at the far end of the table, raises her glass. “To new faces and old memories,” she toasts, her voice carrying a hint of nostalgia.
The conversation flows, filled with laughter and light-hearted banter. For a brief moment, you forget about the underlying tensions and just enjoy the company of your loved ones.
“Just wait until mom brings out the baby photos.” Josh says to Noah.
“Oh, great,” Noah laughs. “I can’t wait to see those.”
“Just make sure mom doesn’t show him the one where you tried to give the cat a bath,” Benjamin chimes in, grinning wickedly.
“Or the one where you thought wearing a tutu rollerblading was a good idea,” Josh adds, smirking.
“Okay, okay, enough with the embarrassing stories,” you say, laughing. “Before you scare him off.”
“Too late,” Noah jokes, squeezing your hand. “I’m already in too deep.”
Moments later, the door creaks open again, revealing your sister, her husband Kyle, and their two kids. They join the table, and Noah’s hand finds its way to your back, rubbing soothing circles. “Beers?” Kyle asks, pointing to you and the boys.
“I’m good with water,” Noah says, and you nod in agreement.
“Me too!” Jolly adds enthusiastically.
Kyle nods, “Three waters. One beer, one cider, and momma, are you good with your beer?”
Your mother nods, her eyes lingering on you. “No fun? Not even one beer?” she teases, a playful glint in her eye.
Before you can respond, your sister cuts in, “No, because then it turns into 2, 5, 10… blackout,” she says with a laugh that sounds lighthearted but carries a sharp edge, a reminder of your past.
You shake your head, feeling the familiar sting of judgment. “Here we go,” you mutter, leaning your head on Noah’s shoulder, seeking comfort in his warmth.
Noah rubs your shoulder, his touch gentle and reassuring. He kisses the top of your head. “I’m here,” he whispers softly, his voice a soothing balm against the rising tension.
“Oh god. We had to stop taking her to bars with us. She would just get so messed up and always end up with one of her trashy exes,” Josh says, taking a sip of his beer, his words cutting through the air like a knife.
Jolly glances nervously from your mom to your sister, clearly debating whether he should try to change the subject. But before he can say anything, you sit up straight, your eyes blazing with defiance.
“At least I can admit I have a problem…” you say, your voice steady and challenging. “Wild how all of you do the same thing, but I’m the one who gets shit on for it. At least I’m trying?” You shake your head, the frustration and hurt evident in your expression.
Noah’s hand moves to your back again, his touch grounding you. “Don’t let them get to you,” he whispers softly, his voice a soothing balm against the rising tension.
Josh, never one to miss an opportunity to stir the pot, points at Noah. “So, are you an alcoholic too?” he asks, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
“For fuck’s sake,” Ben mutters, propping his head on his elbows up on the table and leaning his head on his hands. “We haven’t even eaten yet. Can’t this wait until after?”
You’re listening to Ben’s words, but your cold stare still rests on Josh. His blue eyes are ice cold as he clinks his drink to your sister’s, and they giggle.
“C’mon. It’s just a joke,” Josh says, but you know it’s not a joke; it’s just another jab. “It’s all out of love.”
“That’s not love,” Noah mumbles under his breath, his hand still a comforting presence on your back.
Your mother, who has been silently observing, finally speaks up. “Enough. This isn’t the time or place for this,” she says, her voice firm but weary.
Josh rolls his eyes but doesn’t push further. The tension at the table is palpable, and you can feel the weight of everyone’s eyes on you. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.
Noah’s hand moves from your back to your hand, squeezing it gently. “Let’s just get through this,” he whispers, his eyes filled with concern and determination.
You nod, appreciating his support. The rest of the meal continues in strained silence, with occasional forced attempts at conversation. You can’t help but feel a mix of anger and sadness, but Noah’s presence beside you keeps you grounded.
As the evening drags on, you find yourself glancing at the clock, counting down the minutes until you can leave.
You feel icy blue eyes land on you again and you’ve noticed the more Josh drinks the more vicious he gets, “You know it makes sense that you’re dating him.” He says pointing to Noah, “He probably has all the conncetions to drug dealers, plus he’s loaded with money.” He smirks and goes back to eating his food like nothing happened.
Your mouth drops. You feel your chest tighten. “I wanna go,” you whisper to Noah. “I can’t do this.”
Noah’s eyes meet yours, filled with understanding and a hint of frustration. He nods slightly, his jaw tightening as he processes your words. You stand up without warning, looking around the table. This isn’t where you wanted to be, and this isn’t where you needed to be. These people weren’t your family; they were simply related to you.
Noah stands up next to you, his presence a comforting shield, and Jolly does the same. “We’re leaving.”
“Oh, here we go,” your mother chimes in. “You can’t let us have one dinner.”
Noah scoffs at the comment, his hand placed on your back as he pushes you forward, trying to ignore the comments. “You guys started this shit and want her to stay? Why, to be a punching bag? So you guys have someone to point the finger at to make yourselves feel better?” His voice is steady but laced with anger, his protective nature coming to the forefront. “It’s really not shocking why she never talk about you guys or why she doesn’t visit.” He pauses, his eyes roaming the group of people who look surprised by his words. “She doesn’t need you guys…she has us and other friends in California that treat her a million times better.”
You grab Noah’s hand, feeling the warmth and strength in his grip, and follow behind Jolly. “Let’s go, it’s not worth it,” you quietly say.
When you exit out the doors, you feel the fresh air hit you, a stark contrast to the stifling atmosphere inside. Two men are staring at you, waiting for you to crack, but instead, you laugh, not believing what just happened.
“You see why I don’t come back? It’s the same shit every time,” you say, shaking your head, frustration boiling over. “I walk in, and it’s like I’m instantly transported back to being that screw-up they all remember. No matter what I do, it’s never enough.”
Jolly nods, not wanting to add fuel to the fire. “He was harsh,” he softly speaks, his eyes filled with concern.
You shake your head, your voice rising with emotion. “I get why he’s mad. I do. I wasn’t great, and he had to bail me out of shitty situations often. I just kept jumping into it again, time after time—rehab, hospitals, all of it, over and over. But I’m not like that anymore! I’ve changed, and I wish they would look at who I am now. But it’s like all they can see is who I used to be, and it’s suffocating.”
Noah looks at you, his expression softening. “You don’t have to prove anything to them, and they shouldn’t be that way toward you anyway. We’ve got your back, right?” He turns to Jolly.
Jolly nods in agreement. “Right.” He follows you toward the car, his steps light and carefree. “Hey… didn’t you grow up around here? Thrift shop and coffee time? Isn’t that on your list of things to do in every town?”
You laugh at his comment, remembering your pact. “You know the way to my heart.”
“I’m driving,” he declares, snatching the keys from your hand and pushing his sunglasses back on his face.
As Jolly skips goofily to the car, you feel Noah grab your hand, pulling you back for a brief moment. He places his hand under your chin, gently forcing you to look at him. His eyes lovingly stare into yours, causing a flutter of nervousness in your stomach. “I just want you to know… everything I said is true. Fake boyfriend, best friend… whatever. I got you. Always,” he says softly, his voice filled with sincerity.
You swallow hard, feeling a lump in your throat. “I know, Noah. Thank you.”
He smiles, a warm, genuine smile that makes your heart skip a beat. “Come on, let’s catch up with Jolly before he drives off without us.”
You follow him to the car, your mind racing. The thought that keeps replaying in your mind is terrifying. You weren’t growing feelings for Noah. Were you? The idea made you feel ridiculous. This was obviously your brain trying to get over Michael and move on as fast as you could. It was protecting it’s self from feeling any pain and Noah just happened to be there.
As you slide into the car, you steal a glance at Noah, who’s chatting animatedly with Jolly. Your heart aches with the weight of your unspoken emotions. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. This was just a phase, a fleeting moment of confusion. It had to be. You couldn’t let it be anything more.
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