#now i can't even stand to read the new episodes

[lloydfrontera]

y'know what's funny in a 'not really funny at all but i have to laugh or i'll start biting people' kind of way??

the adaptation team working overtime to make the relationship between javier and lloyd look so much less deeper than it actually is in the novel makes the novel look so much gayer than it already did on its own. like. sorry but your attempts to cover up the homoerotism just makes it stand out more in its absence.

because if there truly was nothing remarkable about lloyd and javier's relationship and they were just very good friends and nothing else then why take the time and effort to change it in the adaptation so they look less close than they actually are.

why skip entire scenes that make their relationship deeper. why change their dialogue and thoughts so they're less invested in one another. why give interactions that they had with each other to their romantic interests. actually why give javier a whole new love interest that did not exist in the novel.

why go through so much trouble to change something that is so important in the source material if there truly was nothing else going on in the novel.

what was it about their relationship that made the adaptation team decide they just needed to change everything about it so they weren't as close and attached as they were originally.

if they were truly nothing but platonic with each other in the source material then why change their relationship so much in the adaptation that it's almost unrecognizable.

what about it did they find so unappealing that they simply had to modify it until it was but a shadow of itself.

in trying to cover up something they only managed to call attention to it by the people who knew what was there originally. now we know that they wanted to get rid of it so badly they were willing to butcher the story and plot for it.

it's really funny :)

[seattlesellie]

ೀ spoiled. ( part one )

📞🕯️🎀 ₊˚⊹♡ “ baby , can you call me back ? i miss you … it’s so lonely in my mansion … “ 🧸🪽🍬

pairing: ellie williams x rich fem!reader

synopsis: the mansion you live in is getting too cold , the silence is way too silent , and not even reruns of sex & the city can help … long story short , you’re feeling lonely . wonder if you can think of someone in your contacts that can help and warm you up , a certain classmate perhaps ?

warnings: girly reader , kind of desperate loser ellie , bratty spoiled rich reader so don't read if that annoys you , allusion to smut , actual smut will be in the second chapter , this is dirty so mdni as usual !

an: i wrote this such a long time ago and it wasn't supposed to be two parts but well now it is !! i will start writing the second part if u guys want to so don't be shy in my inbox. not proofread unfortunately ♡

A perfectly manicured hand rests on the fluffy white and silky smooth duvet. the Egyptian cotton, to be exact, is nothing but lavish, a sanctuary of indulgence in the realm of your own private luxury. Then, you tap your nails atop it, and the fabric crinkles. You gently sigh, but it's more so a grumble, and reach over for the ‘Dunkin’ cup standing on your wooden bedside table. It perfectly matches every single one of the furniture in your extravaganza of a walk in closet, and the bed-frame as well. You take a slow, indulgent sip out of the icy cold drink, take an ice cube out with a straw, and gently suckle on it. You place the drink back on the table, shifting your gaze back over to the flat screen television.

Carrie forgave Mr. Big again, and now she’s seen frantically pacing around the streets of New York City in her shiny Manolo Blahniks. You arch your brows, humming in high pitched amusement. you have the exact same pair!

Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda always seem to bring you a sense of comfort. Usually, your bed brings you a sense of comfort as well, and so does an icy drink with specifically eight cubes of ice. Your room smells like French vanilla, a tinge of cinnamon, and the sweetest pie you’ve never learned how to bake. Most of the time, you’d bask in the scent and feel nice, and cosy, and your nose would scrunch and your nostrils would flare out, then you’d open your favorite food delivery app and order a nice ol’ package of nine chocolate chip cookies. Then, you’d pop open a bottle of champagne and indulge yourself in the sweets deliciousness.

But your appetite is less existent than snow in the middle of August.

You’re also freezing cold, fuzzy socks and all — goosebumps rising on your skin and feeling sharp like Japanese knives.

Your best friend of a white home cat, Toodle, elegantly extends his supple frame, his lithe form gracefully ascending to nestle within the cradle of your neck. His bell gently dingles, he yawns and mellifluously meows. Right now, it sounds more like an old mans groan.

“I know, Toots… m’bored too. And cold, Jesus…” you mutter towards Toodles, who, in his usual aloof manner, closes his eyes and surrenders to the soothing hum of his purring. You puff some air out of your mouth, brain wheels turning as to find out what’s the cause of this blue mood. The air conditioning is completely turned off, you’re sure of it, and the fireplace crackles with warmth. Your entire moisturized body is covered up by a ridiculously expensive thick blanket, and it’s not the short VS nightie that makes you feel freezing, you’re convinced of that. For some reason, the frosty sensation persists. You smack your lip-glossed lips before bumping your head against your mountain of pillows, emitting a low grunt of exasperation.

You don’t know the reason for your boredom, or for this bum mood, because albeit you’ve seen this episode about a gazillion times, it never fails to entertain the shit out of your brain.

Maybe it’s due to the fact that you’re entirely alone (except for Toddles, of course, can't forget him) in a 10,000 square feet mansion. or perhaps it’s because the only lit room inside the mansion is your own.

But then you roll your eyes, because your parents are always away (at St. Tropez this time), so feeling alone isn’t a new and strange concept.

Alas, being alone isn’t the same as being lonely.

Your face twists at the depressing thought, ew. You’re not lonely, just… bored, and unamused, and the icy drink isn’t sweet enough and Carrie’s getting on your last nerve, and the 1,000 dollar blanket is starting to itch the hell out of your hyper-sensitive skin.

Which is why you get up from the bed in a moment of eureka, landing your feet against the fuzzy carpet and slide them into your Ugg’s. “Uh huh!” you chirp, you finally got it.

You’re experiencing an old friend of a feeling called (drumroll…) — anxiety, over your unfinished chem project! It must have masked itself in the form of frigidness and discomfort and loneliness.

But the project isn’t even due till next week, and you rarely get stressed over college stuff unless they’re due the next day and you’re sitting, staring down at your laptop screen, trying to communicate with it through telepathy or something of that sort.

Somaybeit’snotanxiety and maybeyou’rejustloney.

You shake away that uneasy and irritating thought, and sit your pretty butt down on the rolling chair. You click your shiny glittery pen (that always sheds some glitter onto your hand) and open up the thick as brick textbook.

You read the first question out loud.

The correct formula for aluminum nitrate is…

Valentino’s Lòco Toile Iconographe shoulder bag in hot pink?

Nope.

You shake your head, you have got to focus. You place your chin atop your palm and click the pen once more.

Al(NO2)3? or maybe it’s Al(NO3)3…

or maybe you’re so far off you need to close the book shut and throw it out of the window. You’ve always sucked at chemistry.

Which is why you were assigned to be tutored by that auburn haired, green eyed, slightly sullen, tatted up girl who went by "Ellie" — or "El", but you didn't know her like that.

Ellie, is the one who stuttered out your name as she realized you weren’t paying attention to her tutoring, as you had your gaze fixated on the black ink etched on her forearm, a half-covered flannel and a canvas of delicate veins. A bug, adorned with intricate botanical details, unfurled its wings across her skin.

“S’uh… A moth, with ferns around it n’stuff. It’s kind of faded now though”

Her voice was raspy and husky, and she stuttered out your name. Usually, you’d hate it when people got nervous around you. It made you feel odd, ostracized, and you always insisted — you were so damn sweet, there’s nothing to be nervous about. You wore sweet perfume, sweet as goddamn cherries and cupcakes, and your voice was soft and you always smiled brightly, and so what if your purse cost more than a college tuition?

But her nerves didn’t annoy you. In fact, you found them charming, and you found her sweet. You found that all of her “Uhhh” ‘s, and her “Mhhm” ‘s, all of her stammering and her lack of ability to keep eye contact with you to be… infatuating.

Then there was that rich voice, and those eyes, that smile, those hands, those damn toned arms, those biceps and the haircut, the way two short strands of hair always framed her face perfectly and her scent — that you could tell was just a cheap cologne, but mixed with her unique fragrance, proved nothing short of intoxicating.

It was also the fact that she seemed to damn know everything — and that she was always ahead of you, and that her face always bore that coy little smirk when you got a question wrong (which you seemed to get more often than not), and that she would grab your Swarovski pen out of your hand and scribble down the answer for you, just to explain it in detail later.

The way she licked over her bottom lip and bit as wrote down.

With her long fingers and all.

When she spoke, her breath smelled of mint and the faintest tinge of weed, which made you think of how lovely it must be to be able to transform into a damn joint just so she could place you in her mouth and suck —

now you’re sticky, and god now you really are distracted, and not by a cute purse or the sound of rain pouring down on your window. Toodles stretches his tiny limbs and you hear his bell faintly dingle again. He climbs down from your princess bed and jumps up to sit at your lap. You caress down his white fur and he purrs.

You wonder if Ellie likes cats.

You know she likes pussy.

You have got to get a grip.

You massage your temples, attempting to focus on the written down questions again, but the words and the numbers seem to mix into a cacophony of odd symbols and letters, and you’re still so goddamn cold.

Albeit your eyelids droop down slowly, eyes spazzing out of focus, the assignment must be done today.

“Just, finish the damn work and go to sleep. Yup.” You mumble to yourself, a habit you picked up as a result of being alone for most of your childhood, and having to opt for the help of imaginary friends to keep you comfort. Alas, you’re older now and only have yourself to talk to.

You try and follow your command.

The problem is, you don’t know jack shit.

You wish Ellie was here, with her hair sticking to her forehead and your pen in her hand and her old chuck’s glued to her feet, as she sits down on the spare chair aside you with her jaw resting on her knees.

You wish you could hear her faint chuckle as you get another question wrong.

As a tutor, of course.

Not even as a friend, because she’s not.

Definitely not as a lover, obviously, because that would truly be so far fetched from reality — although… right now, you can’t help but think of the way her eyes fall down to your chest as a crimson blush creeps up her cheeks.

And you keep thinking about the time you purposely let your bra strap cascade down your shoulder, just because you wondered how she’d react — Which was with averting her gaze to the side and clearing her throat. Now you think of the time you wore an extra short mini skirt, not that different from the rest of them although a bit tinier, and how you kept rubbing your thighs together just to see whether she’d notice or not, which she did…

You groan and slap your palm against your forehead.

Then, you stare at another question and then at your phone. Toodles chimes in with a high-pitched meow.

“Oh my gosh Toots, so true! I should text her the questions, duh”

You’re not delusional at all, by the way.

So you send her your address.

In the meantime, you make sure your studying environment and your room are as tidy as possible. You grab your sparkly pink pen and place it near the textbook, and you grab a matte black pen for Ellie as well, a thoughtful gesture.

You also apply some strawberry scented moisturizer on your body, and spray your sickly sweet perfume on your pule points.

You slip your feet out of your slippers, and you wear your favorite heels. However, you keep your little nightie on. You’re supposed to feel comfortable, this is your house after all, and the heels — are just a courtesy, you are expecting company, and opening the front door with house slippers is entirely rude, and the silky robe… It’s long enough and proper. Ish.

You stare at your reflection down the mirror, and for some reason, you feel utterly nervous. You’re all dolled up for a person who isn’t a stranger, but who also isn’t a friend. When you coat your lips with some minty gloss, Toodles stretches his tail upwards and meows.

“Psh. Do not judge me, Toots. This is normal, I do this all the time”

Which again is a total and complete white lie, because if it was a regular friend coming over, you wouldn’t have even bothered to fix up your makeup, and you’d barely even get up from the comfort of your own bed.

As a matter of fact, not many people come by your house at all. You have your fair share of friends, but you’d much rather hang out by the mall or at one of their mansions, yours always feels just, utterly suffocating — as giant and spacey as it might be. And sure, you’ve had hook ups before, but you always went rigid when they tried to slip past your panties, and you were always… dry, as an autumn leaf.

Ellie makes you feel anything but dry.

Physically — you shake your head and try getting rid of the thought by giving yourself some good old whiplash.

You find yourself pacing around your room, until you manage to cascade downstairs as soon as you hear the bell ring. With each step you take, your heel taps the lavish ceramic pavement.

“Stay”, you gesture towards your fluffy feline companion, who responds with a squinting of his eyes. “Don’t freak out our company”

You look at Ellie’s face from the intercom’s shiny screen. You look at it so hard you nearly forget to press on the button that’s purpose is to let your tutor-guest in. A couple of strands of her auburn bangs stick to her forehead. Ellie scratches her eyes with the back of her hands and she straightens up her spine. As she waits for the gate to open, she puffs some air from her cheeks. She attempts to fix her eyebrows with the tips of her fingers, and seems to be murmuring something underneath her breath.

You’re not the best at lip reading, but your gut tells you she just whispered a “Hi”, and added your name, then — “Hey” adding your name once more.

It’s absolutely impossible for her to not be aware of how stupidly and irritatingly cute she is.

You press on the button and clear your throat. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t practice your greeting in front of a mirror as well. Your robe cascades down your shoulder, you fixate on it and contemplate pulling up the fabric.

Toodles meows once more.

Yup. You should keep it down.

It takes Ellie a good five minutes to walk the full distance from the front gate to your huge white door.

Then she knocks three times on the wood, and you squeak like a mouse although you really were fully prepared.

Your tutor wears a blue flannel with a white undershirt tucked beneath. The first button is opened, revealing a tiny piece of her pale skin. Below, her legs are covered with tight skinny jeans with a tear on the knee (you’re not sure if she fell or if it’s done purposely so), and to your surprise — no Chuck’s, but Doc Martens.

Noted. She has more than one pair of shoes.

When you greet Ellie with a cheerful — yet ever so relieved and breathy “Hi”, you kiss her on the cheek like you do all of your friends, and you can smell that cheap cologne again.

Amber, citrus, musk, lavender.

There’s a hint of actual Ellie in the mix as well — smoke, herbs, sweat… did she run here?

When you hug Ellie you focus on her scent.

When you hug Ellie she focuses on absofuckinglutely nothing — Her body goes rigid and stiff and she doesn’t hug you back until two way too long seconds pass, and she finally manages to place her hand on your waist.

But she doesn’t hug or squeeze, she rests it there.

Then she coughs.

“Hey”

You take a step back and you can tell she’s a bit flushed, or flustered — but you take it as her just running. You lean your hand against one of the thick pillars. Her orbs travel frantically from your eyes down to your… legs, that are completely bare and smooth and shiny, then they run down to your feet, which are covered with heels…

You think she might say something about it, about you, how ridiculous you look, so you’re washed up with self consciousness and shyness which is something you rarely get to feel, unless you’re with that damn girl for some reason.

Then her eyes hyper-focus on… the ceiling?

You grant Ellie a half smile and you really yearn to break the silence — but she’s ahead of you. Again.

“It’s… you have a really high ceiling” she says, then immediately glues her eyes on to the floor.

“Uh, shiny floor…” she chuckles so freaking awkwardly, grazing the bottom of her left legs doc’s on the floor so it squeaks. Immediately, Ellie apologizes.

“Shit, sorry, my shoes fuckin’ muddy. I uh, ran here”

You gingerly smile and furrow your brows. You theory has been proven correct. “You ran?”

“Walked, like, not ran ran”

There’s the tiniest droplet of sweat on Ellie’s forehead, which she wipe’s swiftly and clumsily with the back of her hand when she notices your eyes scan it. Oh, she ran ran alright. You do feel a little bad, picturing Ellie’s shoes hitting below her ass as she runs through the streets of your city, with a packed and awfully heavy mauve backpack — smacking against her back with every step she takes. You almost pout, you’re still leaning against the pillar and you smack your lips together — gloss and all, out of habit.

“Could’a given you a ride, y’know” you light sweetly. Ellie’s scarred eyebrow arches up in response. “You have a license?”

You so want to shove her shoulder playfully, but you’re convinced it’ll make her go absolutely rigid again. Physical contact bricks her up — noted.

“Why is that such a surprise?” you flash her a teasing smile. She smiles back at you.

“S’just, thought you’d have a personal driver. Can’t really imagine you driving that monster of a Rover back there —“

You nod in complete amusement. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” Ellie teases, followed by a throaty chuckle. “Plus, took you more of a passenger princess type of girl”

And that sentence shouldn’t make you stutter the way you do next. It shouldn’t, but it does. You back away slowly and Ellie follows your footsteps.

“T-that’s, awfully presumptuous” you chirp. Her boots stomp on the floor and your heels click clack. “Plus, I don’t drive that Rover. My car’s in the garage with the rest of ‘em” you say matter-of-factly.

Ellie scoffs impishly behind you. You walk up the stairs and she follows suit. She’s confident when she teases, you think, which is a tad different than her usual awkward self, but if only you knew she nearly slipped down one of the steps as she noticed the tiniest, delicious, most precious piece of your flesh that was just exposed behind you as a result of your incredibly short nightie.

“Psh, so presumptuous”

As you walk towards your room, Ellie walks behind you although she has more than enough space to walk besides you. You get the feeling that she's nervous, even after her teasing and all, and you don't have to wonder why too much. Your house is huge, intimidating, filled with strange sculptures and paintings by obscure artists regular people have never even heard of. You don't have just one living room, you have three, and in each and every one of them stands a different technology piece of some sort. Also, your heels cost more than her outfit, could be more worth than the entirety of her damn closet, and most importantly — you're walking with a pink robe and some heels on.

When you reach your room, Ellie awkwardly smiles and straightens her muscular back. Then, she holds on to the straps of her backpack.

"First of all" you sigh, and now it's your turn to feel coy. "Thank you for coming over so late. I know it's like, absolutely ridiculous, and you know, you don't get paid for this so...", you flash Ellie an endearing smile, the apples of your cheeks rising sweetly as a humble thank you. "And, second of all... jus'... brace yourself?"

Ellie's brows arch up, but before she has time to ask — oh.

You both step into your lit room. Toodles follows by closely, entering the room as well, whilst rubbing his furry back against Ellie's calves.

"Yup..."

Ellie's fingers instinctively clasp onto the straps of her backpack once more, her eyes widening ever so slightly, but she fights to seem as unsurprised as she can — she fails miserably, because she gasps a little.

Your room is nothing but a... cotton candy dream world. A wall that's painted in pretty dusty pink, a princess bed that's nothing but a regal centerpiece. Above the bed, a canopy of gossamer silk drapes from a custom-crafted wrought iron frame, And the final sophisticated touch, a grand crystal chandelier, suspended from the ceiling. There are also clothes everywhere, empty water bottles, used sheet masks, a stack of books — some half-read, others forgotten, teetered precariously on a random corner. Ellie sticks out like a sore thumb. She stands out like a neon sign in a library, a skateboard at a black-tie gala.

You like it.

She clears her throat, stepping further into your room. "I take it black is your favorite color?" she titters sarcastically.

You giggle.

"Mhm, also I'm clearly very organized, and I hate clothes" you murmur and point out the pile of dresses haphazardly bunched in the corner of your room.

She should feel out of place. She should probably laugh, even sneak a pic — tell all her "cool" friends about how mindblowingly ridiculous the prissy rich girls room is. Instead, she thinks about how cute you must look cuddled up in a bed this big, how adorable it'd be to see your bed-head poking through the sheets at 8am, how sweet it must be to watch you skip around your room, trying on your shitload of clothes, throwing them in the air and huffing like a medieval brat of a princess. She wants to place a fucking tiara on your head. She sees your sticker collection from the corner of her eye, your vinyls, your candles, your crystals and Toodles' sofa.

And she likes it.

You take a deep breath. You shouldn't even care if she likes it or not, you shouldn't be bothered by it at all — you rarely are, but something inside of you yearns for... something.

"It suits you" she murmurs.

And that's certainly good enough, because it does.

You gesture Ellie to sit on the rolling chair next to yours, and her eyes still roam over the space of your room. “My room looks exactly the same, by the way… same uh, size too… n’stuffed animals… Shit, I like the elephant one”, she sarcastically remarks as she sits on the chair and hunches down, manspreading as she often does. Your eyes can’t help but roam down, because her damn thighs flexed under those jorts and you heard her, but you also kind of didn’t.

Ellie clears her throat and narrows her eyes. Jheez, she thinks, you must be absolutely exhausted since your eyes don’t seem to be able to focus.

“Huh?” you say, startled. You’re still standing up on those heels. Ellie sniffles and chuckles and her voice goes all quiet.

“Said pink nauseates me, that I hate those stuffed animals and that your elephant doll’s ugly as shit”

You roll your eyes and your tongue swipes over your glossy bottom lip. You bite it and you sit down on the chair. Ellie’s eyes scan over your chest and she averts her gaze like a deer caught in headlights.

“Hate you, chem tutor” you huff, resting your head on the palm of your hand. Ellie doesn’t maintain a second of eye contact but she chuckles and it’s cocky.

“You need me, and you need an A in chemistry”

You like that side of her.

You let your eyes blink lazily at her, a cheeky little smirk forming on your lips. When you open your mouth again, just to smack it on your glossy lips, you brush your leg ‘accidentally’ against hers, and rigid she goes. “Mhm, I definitely need you, Ellie…”

The apples of Ellie’s cheek shine in bright crimson and her hand flexes. She grabs her pen and clicks on it once. You didn’t mean it like that, she so obviously knows or believes, but it matters nonetheless. You like that side of her so much more.

You cross your pretty legs and let the tip of your heel graze her chair. “So, you want a drink before we start studying?”, you’re way too damn close, she nods — but she doesn’t need a ‘drink’ she needs a damn water fountain that directly flows onto her mouth and satisfies that damn drench. Is it possible for her damn knee to feel hot? Why is her knee feeling hot?

“Anything specific?”

“Jus’ waters fine” Ellie manages to murmur, lips forming a teeny tiny, shy, crescent smile.

“I was thinking more… like, wine? I have a wine cooler n’my room… if you wanted water i’d have to like, go downstairs and… It’s so lonely in there” your voice is saccharine, delicate, and it and coaxes Ellie’s mind.

“Wine’s perfect, I love wine” says Ellie.

She hates wine.

“Mhm, red or white?” — Your question comes when you lift your butt off the chair and walk slowly towards the cooler.

“Uh, r-red. S’much… richer” Ellie falters, remembering vaguely the time Joel had mentioned white wine’s for pussies. When she tried a red one, she gagged.

“Impressive” you note.

Ellie rolls the chair with the help of her heavy Doc's, and watches as you pour the red liquid into two delicate glasses. Your leg, she notices, is clad with a shiny, delicate golden piece of jewelry. Her eyes scan upwards, towards your bare thighs — the flesh is glistening, almost appearing as if it's covered with oil. Her mind drifts elsewhere, to a world in which your nightie is nothing but nonexistent, and those thighs...

Her stomach grumbles, she firmly holds onto it. Why NOW.

"Hungry?" you place the glass on the table, slightly nudging it towards Ellie.

She's starving.

you flash her a devilish smirk, cocking your head to the side.

"Oh, uhh... nope"

Famished.

[whoiseduardito]

Heeey so I've come to the sad realization that marvel has yet again made me simp over a character that is NEVER written for so, I was wondering if you would be willing to do a fluffy magneto fic.

Maybe where you are a new teacher a the school and had never me Erik and end up with a crush and he ends up finding out somehow. Idk sorry ik that was a long one.

I need something fluffy after these past episodes and Smut is fine with me but I'm not sure if your comfortable writing smut if not no big.

HEY! GET OUT OF MY WAY!

pairing: erik lehnsherrr (magneto) x reader warn: i love this type of fluff!!!!!!! a/n: my first req!! not proof read!!! horrible writing, rushed, you can tell i loved the sound of music trope.

so maybe you have a type.

older guys who have the humor of a rock.

...maybe just the older xenotype- but that's not important, totally not. the issue is that, you're crushin'. you're crushin' hard.

maybe it is the face, maybe it is the hair, but something about erik lehnsherr pulls you in, like a magnet, ironically.

you were the new teacher at the 'xavier's school for gifted youngsters, it was a pleasant experience, the students were nice (until their mutations were triggered, but that's not their fault), the ambient was too, and the pay? you could pay your rent, and more!

for you, the 'no crushing on coworkers' was bullshit, a harmless crush can't do that bad, as long as it's harmless.

so you continued with your lecture, 'history of mutation', very cool, you had even made a presentation, and then a kahoot, pretty cool right?

"so, the history of mutations can date back to many years, such as the sixth century-"

the door opened, all of the heads turned, and the person stepped in, you turned away from the board you were writing, your eyes searching for the person.

it was your fucking crush, it was fucking magneto.

your face drained of all color, and his electric freezing blue eyes stared back.

"uhh-"

"-..this is a senior class, correct?" he walked around the class, his eyes cutting contact from your's

"...y-yeah totally" he stopped near a decoration with 'mini prom!" painted on it with photos of the students as younger kids.

"then why are decorations everywhere?" he stared at it "this is not kindergarden."

damn. "well?"

"i-i thought it would be good to make this a nice atmosphere for the students."

"the world is not an nice atmosphere for mutants, is it?"

the class was dead silent, no one dared to breathe, even lightly.

"i want this off the wall before the end of the day." he made his way out.

"why?" you whispered

he stopped "because i said so, miss l/n. now rip it off"

oh, your mood had soured

"i'm sorry magneto, sir, but the decorations stay." you said those words with all of the backbone you have

"i'm the headmaster. it goes off."

"i'm the homeroom teacher, it stays."

you were a teeny tiny scared but for your students you'd fight him without your mutation. he glared, his piercing glare stayed on you

"i'm sorry mister magneto but in here, i give the best ambient for my students."

his stare became harder, and then he blinked, sighing and walking away "...i'd like to see you in my office, right now."

you gulped loudly, you're pretty sure he heard.

he began walking away, a beat passed until you realised he wanted you to follow him, you began walking alongside him.

the way there was silent, but your head was running, this is it, this is what you get for standing up for your students, shit.

he opened the door, and let you in, murmured a 'take a seat'

"...i am not fond of people disobeying my commands."

"i am aware, mister magneto."

"just call me sir, mister magneto is ticking me off"

"sorry, sir" you quickly said, most of the backbone you had you used it on standing up to him, and now you were getting fired.

"just answer me this." you nodded, you complied "you are aware that in this school you're just needed to teach them, and just make sure they understand how the world works, not pamper them, not make them decorations."

"but-"

"are you aware?"

"yes, but-"

"then why are you pampering them?"

ouch

"i'm going to move you, transfer you if you will"

"what?"

"roulette, the mutation to be able to randomize whatever power you have seen either physically or by any media."

you're screwed

"your mutation, am i right?"

"sir-"

"you're going to work with me to make them control their mutation."

"...what?"

"you and me, are going to train them."

"uhm.... who?"

he sighed loudly, he surely had a small fuse "your students."

great! teaching with magneto.

"...you sure sir?"

"i am sure."

breaking the news to your students was easy, making them behave so you don't look like a doof, was hard.

many classes had passed with mag- mister lehnsherr (he had told you to stop calling him 'magneto'), each day was hard but sometimes you picked at his stony personality, hoping that he would notice, sometimes you swear you saw him crack a small grin when you made a joke or had integration activities for your class, and your tiny crush had maybe turned into a bigger crush.

"teach'?"

"hm?" the voice of one of your students pulled you out of your meditation spot "what is it?"

"are you okay? you've been in this spot for the whole break."

"oh here? this is a great spot to think." it was a tree behind the mansion, in a secluded corner.

"mister magento is looking for you." they sat next to you beneath the tree

"why?" they shrugged

"maybe's cause he likes you" your head snapped to their direction

"...don't be silly" you tried to look away "he doesn't"

"really? 'cause i always hear his heart beating faster, when you do something or appear." their mutation was enhanced hearing, you blushed

"oh, stop lying." you snorted

"he does!" they jabbed you with their fingers to tease you "and you like him back!"

"shut up!" you laughed

"you do! you do!" they chuckled, suddenly they remained quiet and a smirk slowly was painted in their face "i'll leave you both alone" they walked away

"wha?-"

"miss l/n?"

oh shit.

"do you like me?" you turned your head slowly to face him.

"mister lehnsherr!-"

"please, call me erik." he chuckled, maybe the first time you saw his face in a smirk that isn't evil. "and how about a coffee to discuss about your teaching methods?"

[thealexchen]

thoughts on LIS: Double Exposure?

This is probably gonna be my hottest take in awhile, but: I deeply dislike the idea of an official LiS1 direct sequel game existing. Excluding all my thoughts on the gameplay, story, Max's character, etc. I don't think a game like Double Exposure is necessary.

This isn't a new take either; back in 2020 I made a Reddit post saying I was glad we never got a continuation of Max and Chloe's story, because in order to have a plot, you have to have conflict. And to have conflict means your characters are forced to change or struggle in some way, and I simply wasn't interested in seeing that again. I never even read the comics. As long as Max and Chloe's future existed only in the fanbase's collective imagination and not in an officially licensed game, Pricefield could be as happy as I wanted and I wouldn't have to witness DN or D9's version of canon.

A lot of fans, including myself, are also confused and upset as to where Chloe could be in Double Exposure. Even if Chloe winds up having a surprise role, it would likely be too logistically difficult to write Chloe into one version of the story and not the other. Either way, DE is strongly pointing to Chloe no longer being the deuteragonist. If D9 was going to make a direct sequel with Max and Chloe, I could at least be intrigued by how they might write their dynamic and how they'd use Max's power in new and interesting ways. But instead there's... none of that. Chloe's nowhere to be seen and Max can't time travel anymore.

On a narrative level, Max and Chloe are the heart of the original Life is Strange. They represent the game's central relationship, and their very first interaction (Max saving Chloe's life) kicks off the entire story. Throughout the story, their dynamic advances the plot and mutually motivates their character arcs. You can't have LiS1 without either Max or Chloe; the story simply wouldn't exist without them. Now in DE, they don't even seem to be in each other's lives anymore. It's true, this series is meant to reflect universal feelings and experiences, which could include breakups, but the romantic catharsis of Pricefield as canon soulmates who defied time and space itself to stay together forever is something you can only get from the beauty of fiction. To jab DE's story with a dose of reality and go, "Eh, they grew apart. Shit happens," totally undermines everything the Bae ending stood for.

On a technical level, Max's rewind was an objectively brilliant game mechanic. LiS1 arrived onto the scene after Telltale had paved the way for the resurgence of choice-based, episodic games, but LiS1 totally reinvented the wheel by giving the player the option to go back and weigh each option before continuing, essentially save-scumming in-game. But the right choice was never that easy to determine, and Rewind brilliantly complemented Max's character arc of overcoming her indecision and learning to live with her choices. Not to mention, you could also use Rewind to solve puzzles, instead of the endless fetch quests the later games had. No other LiS game since then has given the player that kind of agency and interactivity. LiS2 had telekinesis, but the player couldn't use it, only Daniel. D9 tried with Backtalk and Empathy, but Max's Rewind was truly the narrative and gameplay jackpot that they haven't been able to recreate since.

So if you take away one half of the central relationship that made the first game so memorable, and the supernatural power/game mechanic that made it so fun to play... why even bring Max back at all? It just feels like D9 threw away their golden opportunity to build upon the major selling points of the first game and are only relying on name recognition of the Life is Strange "brand" and Max Caulfield.

What upsets me most of all about a direct sequel existing is that it proves that Life is Strange, as a series, now stands more for profits than originality. Life is Strange will always be an IP meant to make money for Square, I know that, but back when LiS1 was just a brand new episodic game, it stood out for how different it dared to be. In a landscape saturated with shooters, sexualized female characters, and casual misogyny, LiS1 instead featured a teenage girl in a contemporary setting that took her seriously and made her the hero of her story. Before it was a franchise, LiS wasn't concerned with the bottom dollar; it was a piece of art that just wanted to tell a thoughtful, unique story.

Whether you love it or hate it, Life is Strange 2 was an insanely risky follow-up to Life is Strange that refused to rely on the convenience of a direct sequel because Dontnod stuck to their artistic vision. Meanwhile, all of Deck Nine's games have leaned on the first game's following to generate interest (BtS being a direct prequel, TC bringing back Steph, and Wavelengths expanding on Steph's connection to Chloe, Rachel, and Arcadia Bay). In other words, all of the subsequent LiS games by D9 have played it very, very safe. It's worked like a damn charm because there are still elements I love about each game, but the basic principle is nostalgia-baiting fans. It's just that now, Double Exposure isn't hiding that nostalgia bait at all anymore and prioritizing profits over telling a unique story. It's sad to see that LiS has strayed so far from its risky, daring, original, and unique artistic beginnings.

Before I end, I'll say that I can't be too cynical about it all, nor do I want to be. Because I can't deny how much joy this whole series has brought me, too. LiS was what got me into narrative adventure games and pushed the boundaries of what a video game could be. If nothing else, I am truly thrilled that Hannah Telle got the chance to play Max again. D9's always been great at maintaining relationships with their actors, and the casts of their games always have consistently great chemistry. Getting recognized by Erika Mori on my own blog is still unbelievable and speaks to the amazing community that LiS has built. As you can see, I'm still posting and reblogging stuff about Double Exposure. And while I don't see myself buying or playing this game for myself, I know it'll keep all of us talking for awhile, and I still live for a good discussion.

Thank you for asking! And thank you for reading.

[fountainpenguin]

Went down a very specific research pipeline last night, and now you get to share it with me:

Does Dev have hypoglycemia?

Low levels of blood sugar that - when they drop - can lead to irritability, confusion, headaches, exhaustion, shaking, rapid heartbeat, blurry vision, passing out, seizures, or even death. Blood sugar can drop about 2 to 4 hours after eating; snacks and additional small meals are very needed; sugary foods like hard or gummy candies can give a quick boost, as can juice or soda. I'm continuing my research after this post, so please forgive/inform me if I've mixed up details between different types of hypoglycemia- or just got something totally wrong.

FOP: A New Wish is set in modern times (i.e. not the far future). He's allowed to have drones in the classroom with him- They're acknowledged as his assistants and the teachers know about them.

Potentially, they may function under similar rules to service dogs- another sentient creature that would be allowed in class (ignoring that Dev is sometimes away from them, or that they went into the halls on their own in "28 Puddings Later").

We know Dev is self-reliant enough to get by without his au pairs. They help him, but they're not something he needs 24/7.

Insert joke about the au pairs needing off-duty time like service dogs and sometimes they just go play. Union rules...

We know they have the capability to "alert on Dev" like service dogs... or at least, this one looked at Dev and beeped when scanning a paper, and even projected an exclamation point to catch his eye:

The visual-verbal cue combo is definitely an intentional feature (And it's not like it greeted him by name- it just beeped and he knew what it was conveying).

We know that at the end of "Lost and Founder's Day," this au pair - despite being a machine - recognized Dev was sad (or at least low energy) and patted him on the head.

Au Pair: I would hug you, but I do not have human arms or warmth.

Earlier in this episode, we see the au pairs respond to people based on data they were being fed through sensors people were wearing on their wrists. Dev might have one here, though we know he was upset to find out his dad was using them to zap people and he's sad about his dad not loving him, so it's likely he's not wearing it.

This implies the au pairs don't have enough data about most people, but they DO have internal data about Dev. If not internal, they can read him well. We do know they're good at reading cues- They get embarrassed during the festival when they find out problems have been corrected before they got there and we didn't see the Dimmlets shock anyone to prompt the au pairs to acknowledge the situation changed. What does it say about the au pairs if they're implied to be Dale's creation and they see sad Dev and think "I should hug him."

The Off Puddin' brand of pudding is so desirable that the whole class became addicted; they had withdrawals when Hazel changed her "unlimited pudding" wish to be "pudding after we take our class picture" wish- Just like everyone else, Dev was one of the affected individuals and ate all the pudding he could get his hands on.

If the pudding is that delicious, it's interesting Dev kept some (even if this is a new batch from a different pudding day) and snacked on it in Fairy World... and didn't give into impulses to eat it some random day beforehand:

I guess we can't prove it's the same brand, but it's presumably the same model from "28 Puddings Later." I think it's the only item we know he brought to Fairy World beyond clothes and one au pair that he stands on. He doesn't even use his tablet in this episode (which he's normally glued to outside of school).

We can confirm Peri didn't poof this up for him (or at least, it's very unlikely since that would've been weeks ago). Dev eats this pudding after Irep ditches him to hang out with his dad- Extremely doubtful Dev got Irep's attention for his snack. Or Dale's, for that matter (if his dad brought some).

Canonically, the principal gives Dev lots of pudding because his dad made a "generous donation" to the school. It's possible he does this often since we know Dev hoards pudding every pudding day...

... which is interesting, because in "Stanky Danky," the news describes Dale as "billionaire non-philanthropist." Investing in his child's future for the sake of good education doesn't seem to be his M.O.... although he does send Dev to a private school, so maybe.

We know Dale hates losing money, and we know he's not the best dad to Dev... but we also know Dev has an official allergy card that names him in 3rd person-

- which could imply he got this card when he was young. That's not guaranteed, but I looked at some IRL cards and some use first-person, so it's food for thought.

Possibly, his dad even took him to the doctor for official diagnosis. Lactose intolerance can be hereditary, so if Dale has it, he may have identified it immediately after Dev's first reaction. For all Dale’s faults, Dev IS still alive and not starving to death - and still lives with his dad - so it's not improbable Dale's aware of his son's food needs. On a darker note... given Dale's abusive childhood, I feel like lack of food is something he has trauma around. Also, if Dale is lactose intolerant, I'd be curious to know how Dev found out he was, as I'd assume Dale wouldn't keep dairy in the house if he can't eat it. The two logical options here are "Dale took him for an allergy test" or "Dev ate dairy outside the house and got sick, so he told his dad / the au pairs." Maybe he found out in preschool?

Dev's au pair bringing him a snack! Their boy needs to eat!

Anyway, this was all leading up to these screenshots of Dev having no fun on the walk to Signal Hill that I found funny:

No energy... need sugar... Exercise did a number on him... Hazel takes a breather by crouching for a second, but Dev just slams his face in the grass and I think that's great.

Despite Dev not liking to walk, he and Hazel stopped their treasure hunt before the final clue and walked back to the Dimmadome place for food, so that's neat to think about (especially in the context of him snacking before he left the house... How long were they out? Did he even finish his snack?)

Dev's au pair was preemptively wearing a chef's hat when he and Hazel came back to the house, so I wonder if that's his routine lunch time on weekends. The au pairs are good caretakers who know their boy's schedule and needs...

Immediately after this scene, Dale asks what Dev and Hazel are up to "this fine afternoon," so it's probably after 1 pm. Noon at the earliest, but surely not an early lunch at 11 AM. Interesting consideration for the timing of Dev's snack... It makes sense if he was out with Hazel for 2 to 4 hours before he had to go home and eat, even though they were on the final riddle.

Come to think of it, one of the things we know about Dev's house is that there's a cereal bar and Peri brings him cereal... and the woozy Peri hallucinating about bringing Dev "his favorite cereal" (during the finale) seems to get to him one way or another.

Consider... Cosmo and Wanda poofed up hard candy when Peri came over because Dev needed sugar I DID wonder what they were up to considering sugar gets Fairies inebriated...

tl;dr - I like to think the reason on paper that Dev gets his au pairs in school is for medical reasons. They track his blood sugar and keep him from, y'know... going into a seizure or passing out. I can't imagine Dale would like that happening to his son at home either (if for no other reason than because it would be a huge distraction he has to deal with).

If this is something Dev's been dealing with since he was little, that plays into the au pairs accompanying him through his early years... We know he's both lactose intolerant and extremely picky, not liking any of the cupcakes Peri poofed up despite this many attempts:

- which I cannot imagine Dale had the patience to deal with long if he was Dev's primary caretaker in his earliest years.

I was gonna make a joke about Dale hiring someone to watch Dev - and let's be real; he probably did - but also... do you think this cocky guy would spend money when "It's a baby; how hard can it be? I also eat daily- This is just efficient use of my time!"

POV: Tired single dad who's not yet finalized his au pair design walks into grocery store with baby, buys cupcakes, leaves. Confuses every parent in the parking lot when he has a fussy Dev sitting on the back of the car and he's spoonfeeding him icing. They did not go home. Next stop will be the park, where Dale falls asleep on a bench while Dev eats bugs. Some parent sees Dev eating a chocolate bar and strikes up a conversation with Dale about what a big moment it was when they treated their child to chocolate and Dale's just like "I've been feeding him that his entire life." Dale pouring a soda in his toddler's sippy cup: Don't judge me.

At a certain point, when you're a billionaire single dad running multiple businesses and you're good at robotics, there comes a time when "It would make things easier if my young child (who's a very picky eater and can't have dairy) had a drone to follow him around, alert him when his blood sugar is about to drop, or assist if he passes out" makes a lot of sense. Especially if you have major trust issues from abuse and prefer relying on your own inventions.

It was a very relieving day for Dale when he finally had a reliable au pair to leave his son with, I'm sure. Didn't accidentally kill his son!! #Not as big a jerk as you could've been!

During my original liveblog for "Battle of the Dimmsonian," I was confused about Dev going from "I need to talk to Hazel" to trying to spook her and her friends by summoning ghosts. I'm definitely not excusing his bitter attitude in general as a hypoglycemia thing, but this is an episode that would make this headcanon funny:

Peri, internally: Listen here, you little brat- I've read your file. Now eat your freakin' cupcake. Icing is good for you. Dev: These are terrible >:( I'll go without. Peri: WHY? Dev later that day: If I tell Peri I need sugar, he'll be SUCH a pain about it. I opt to suffer...

Anyway, I think it's interesting and I'm going the "au pairs help Dev with a lot of things, but one of them is hypoglycemia" direction in my City Lights AU :)

If anyone's curious, I'm doing growth hormone deficiency that also lands him with a weak immune system- another thing the au pairs help him with. My full character profile for Dev will go into extra details about his life... Fun times.

Dale, planting his whiny and sick child on the floor by his desk and handing him a tablet, juice, and a bunch of hard candy: Big Boss has a work meeting. Don't go outside or you'll die. At this point, you're sunk costs and if I lose you, I'm gonna make it everyone's problem.

Bonus Theory:

Are Doug and Dale also lactose intolerant, and did Dale kill his dad's cows?

In Season 5 - "Mooooving Day" - Doug runs a business called Dimmadome Farms, which produces extreme amounts of milk from genetically modified cows. He uses this to keep the population of Dimmadome Acres totally happy and obedient.

Doug seems convinced the milk makes people happy and that it's a good thing, but he doesn't personally drink it. It's kind of funny to think he went the route of milk because his family is full of lactose intolerant individuals who won't accidentally drink it.

Genetics - Lactose intolerance is inherited in the autosomal recessive pattern- This means either both of Dev's parents are lactose intolerant, or they personally aren't but carry the gene.

Additionally, Dev will only pass lactose intolerance to his kids if his partner also has the gene- either intolerant or a carrier.

There's a chance Dev developed it without genetics, but it looks like there's a lot more variety there than I can cover in a single post. From what I've read, it's "uncommon in babies and young children." He's 9 when "Peace of Pizza" takes place, which might strengthen the argument that it's genetic in his family.

One of the businesses Dale lists as under his possession in "Lost and Founder's Day" is Dimm-'N-Out Burgers. Presumably this is a parallel of In-'N-Out Burger, which use beef patties. Notably, this is a business made up for A New Wish- It's never been portrayed as under Doug's ownership.

If Dimmadome Farms already existed in Dale's youth, it makes sense Dale would use the cows from there- You have to do something with the ones who aren't producing milk, so why not make money?

Technically, Dimmadome Acres was wiped out by magic, but it's possible Dimmadome Farms itself was outside premises of the suburban neighborhood, so maybe there were other cows.

We know by A New Wish, Dale has established himself as a tech mogul, but he probably wasn't one straight after being rescued from 7 years of abuse, which is heavily implied to have started when he was 9 (give or take). Consider:

Doug: I'm making drinks from a labor force of enslaved individuals I've trapped underground :) His son, who recently escaped a life of being forced to make drinks for 7 years underground: This is incredibly insensitive, actually.

Hey, there's something SUPER sus about Dale's underground lemonade stand abuse starting at age 9 when his dad's milk factory is also underground in a big trapdoor and relies on trapped people for labor... Do you think Vicky found the cows when she was a kid and lured Dale down there, but he was lactose intolerant and couldn't drink mind control milk, so she moved him somewhere else... I'm connecting the dots...

It's worrisome that Doug's instinctual response to Timmy saying he didn't want to drink milk was "What a baby," and then he jumps and corrects himself to "Aw, shucks"... What conspiracy am I uncovering... Doug, let me in- I just wanna talk about the home your son grew up in.

I mean, the alt theory is that Doug built his underground dairy farm and trapped people to work in it BECAUSE Dale told him where he'd been for the last 7 years and he went "Oh, that's brilliant!" and that's also terrible??

Anyway, Doug's thing is that he's constantly jumping from one business to the next, never staying consistent (beyond the beloved Dimmadome stadium).

Knowing how he's always go-go-go, it's very probable he'd get his son involved in business young. Maybe Dale started with a burger joint until the robotics work paid off! A spiteful direction for Dimmadome Farms indeed...

Me, having a sudden realization and looking up from my notes theorizing both Dev and Dale have OCD and ADHD, then glancing at my second monitor where I have references from "Moooving Day" of Doug's meticulously arranged town of pink houses and people wearing matching outfits:

... Ah.

[heartofbusan]

A Tale of Two Earpods

Have you ever sat on a train while listening to music, and while you're watching the landscape, you feel heightened emotions? There's probably a name for this occurrence. It's almost cinematic even. When you're listening to music, it enhances this wonderful sense of detachment as the world passes you by at high speed.

That's probably what jikook were feeling, too, traveling past the pretty and snowy coastline. A little detached from the world inside the train, yet grounded in the music they're listening to together. We are invited into that bubble through the sounddesign as it gently invites us to come into their mindset.

There's a reason why this scene stands out. Something beyond the fact that when Jungkook gently laid his head on Jimin’s shoulder, he crushed the last dregs of sanity I had left, I mean.

----

The actual music we hear is considered a 'non-diegetic' layer. It's not something Jikook can hear, but it's added in later in post-production. This way, it functions as a guide for the audience to feel something. BUT, there is a very important physical element at play in this scene that gives an extra emotional entry into the minds of our main characters. The earpods.

Jikook are cutely sharing a pair of earpods 🥺 This places them inside a little auditory bubble separate from the audience: we can't hear what they're listening to. Luckily, Jungkook provides us with a genre: anime music.

So when Jimin remarks that it feels like they're in an animation (little did they know the scene would include actual illustrations), it was all those elements at play for him as well. The music is giving him the feels.

The soundtrack tries to let us in on their earpods by overlaying this moment with violin music, but it doesn't quite cut it tbh. I'm sure copyrights prevented them from sharing the actual music they're listening to. When Jimin starts to get playful and pretends to be a crying dog!?!?!? the cutest little flute/accordion piece starts playing. It's adorable and kind of folksy.

Then suddenly, the music switches to this soft electric guitar piece we've heard before in AYS, often at the end of sentimental scenes, like at the end of episode 4 when they're on the catamaran. It's a very melancholy yet hopeful piece, promising that this is not the end but a new beginning. At least, that's what it makes me feel.

In the train scene, this piece isn't used to end the scene, but it surprisingly builds towards something, a high point.

Here the music is reflecting not only their emotions: the train ride is amazing, they're really enjoying themselves, and it feels like another core memory being made, but it's also a guide for US watching THEM in THEIR moment. Like a little snapshot made for the audience. This is also OUR core memory now. Again, linking us directly to jikook, but also keeping us at a safe distance.

This concept feels foundational for AYS. Truly a show for them AND for us.

The actual highpoint of the scene ends with a beat of silence as JK puts his head on Jimin’s shoulder. After all the music, the silence at this exact moment is VERY LOUD in order to emphasize this gesture. A WORLD STOP.

And that's what I felt when I first saw it. That little beat of silence was an exclamation point, a silent scream. Your heart stopped beating for a second there, right? The sound design danced us right up until that point, swaying us gently from side to side and then suddenly it dipped us and made everyone take note. The shot fades out, the diegetic noise of the train can still be heard, and almost like we had to take a breath to clear our head, ... we're back to reality with JK's voice. Sigh.

If you're still reading this, I don't know what to tell you,...you too are obsessed with jikook 😮‍💨 send help.

----

I rarely travel on trains anymore, but next time I do , I look forward to emptying my mind of real-world problems, and I'll think of this little Jikook snapshot instead.

[blitzor0de0]

That Saint Peter fic was so cute! Like really, REALLY cute! Maybe you should consider continuing it? With Reader being redeemed and going to heaven? Maybe they die like Sir Pentious when fighting against Adam and spawn in heaven?

this one kinda flopped in my mind, but I hope it's bearable to read !! enjoy!

cw: gn reader, spoilers of episode 8, a little gore to the reader (reader death),,, uhhh lmk if there's something I missed, not proof-read at ALLL!!

word count: 1.8k

part 1 part 3 part 4

Daylight (Saint Peter x Redeemed!Reader)

The final battle was upon you, flurries of executioners surrounded the hotel. But thankfully due to Alastor’s shield, you alongside your fellow residents were able to kill them, one after one after one.

Your heart was racing, adrenaline pumping through your veins, the stench of the angel’s golden ichor singed your nostrils.

But before you knew it, Sir Pentious had sacrificed himself, immediately being blown to smithereens by Adam’s power. You couldn't stand to watch it, your weaknesses bubbling up as you choked back a sob.. The remaining Egg Boiz, would they be okay? Were they okay? You snuck off to see if any reminder of Sir Pentious was still around, allowing a few stray tears to fall.

Unbeknownst to you, alongside everyone else at the battle site, there was one stray angel, grasping onto their last moments of life, as you called out for the Egg Boiz, you found none of them, cracked eggshells seemed to be everywhere you looked. It grew harder to swallow, there had to be at least one..Right?

Dashing through some rubble your search was about to continue but you felt a sharp pain. You froze in place, looking down, breathing stuttering. Piercing your chest was one of the angel's tridents…Straight through the heart.

“What…?” You weakly spoke, turning with whatever energy you had left to face the angel, a dark smile on their face before they succumbed to their injuries.

It didn't take long for you to fall to your knees, gasping for whatever breath you could find. Your mind was in a panic. This couldn't be it. You can't die alone, you never even got to tell Charlie or the others goodbye.

Silent tears streamed down your cheeks. At least you tried your best. Right?

People in life always lied when they said death was painless, your first one sure as Hell wasn't, and neither was this one. You guess it's just their way of dwelling the fear of inevitable death, if only they knew.

A warm heat overtook your senses as brightness enveloped your vision.

What?

Looking around you saw the two Serafim you met a few months back and…Sir Pentious?

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit it worked!

Redemption worked! Charlie's a fucking genius.

Sir Pentious called your name in surprise, “You're here too? Oh no, that must mean.. Did Adam get you too?”

“I.. Pentious..” You were utterly speechless, but so were Sera and Emily. Not one but two sinners redeemed in such a small period of time. Perhaps they really did underestimate Charlie’s ability to fulfil her dream.

After relaying what happened to you after Pentious died, the Serafim discussed how to assimilate to your new lives, Emily in particular helped the two of you get situated.

And within enough time, you were ready to start your second afterlife.

It took you a few days to get yourself situated, too busy dwelling and moping about, lost in thought about your old life. You wondered how long it took everyone down in Hell to notice you had died, if they even felt sad, or even remorse. But you couldn't live in this rut for the rest of your afterlife, you were in Heaven now, everything screamed optimism and positivity. You had to get out there and mingle, make new friends. With a huff, you made yourself presentable before leaving your new home.

Wandering the streets, you heard whispers,

“Has anyone seen Adam recently?”

“No seriously, it's been a little too quiet around here.”

“Forget him, did you see how battered up Lute was? Missing an arm and everything!”

Well that was certainly interesting information, it filled you with a sense of pride. Charlie must've won! Adam had to be dead, but Lute survived? Probably at the hands of Vaggie, you thought.

Before you knew it, you were somewhere familiar, the plaza. Not only that, the ice cream parlour you went to with Saint Peter was just across the street.

Your eyes widened. Wait.. Saint Peter! You hadn't seen him yet since your arrival, a fault on your behalf but still, you had to find him. Would he be pissed that you were here, or happy?

Approaching some friendly looking angels you asked, “Excuse me! Have you seen Saint Peter around?” Voice wavering in anxiousness.

“Hmm? Oh Peter? Oh about this time he should still be at his post but should be taking a break in liiiike five mins or something so if you wanna wait for him by the gates, go ahead!” One angel replied, grinning.

“Thank you so much!” You quickly turned on your heel, heading in the direction of the gates, hearing a small comment from the other angel,

“I woulda thought they would've been looking for a loved one, not Peter of all people. Weird. OW! Hey, I'm just saying!!”

That angel was correct, by the time you made it to the gates -a little out of breath from the speed you were walking- Peter was heading inside for his break.

He was humming to himself but halted as he set eyes upon your new form.

He called out your name, “What.. What are you doing here? If you were visiting you should've come through the gates like you did last time. Besides what's with this new outfit? Looks gorgeous on you, but it looks as though you're cosplaying an angel!....Ooohhh” The realisation of the situation just slapped him in the face. Hard.

Approaching you and holding your face in his hands, he took a real good look at you, causing a blush to spread across your cheeks from the sudden contact.

“Haha.. Hi Peter. Um, guess it happened I got redeemed..? All it took was me dying..again.”

He releases his grasp on your face, eyebrow quirked. You pouted from the loss of contact before meeting his concerned gaze. “But!! It's nothing to worry about! Haha.. Just.. A surprise attack from an exterminator. I guess all that hard work in the hotel came in handy, huh?”

Peter's look of concern refused to falter throughout your explanation, his eyebrows furrowed, almost as if he was lost in thought.

“Y’know, once you left last time there were all sorts of rumours about exterminations and Adam being heavily involved. I refused to believe they were true, why would my fellow angels do such a thing but… I suppose it was true all along. Oh, dear I'm so sorry..” His peppy attitude seemed to completely fade as he spoke, you felt guilty for even unloading it at him, seeing the angel upset made your heart pang.

“But,” He continued, a hand coming up to caress your cheek, “at least that redemption worked, I knew I could believe in you. I'm so proud!” You leaned into his touch, who knows how long it had been since you were treated as if you were a porcelain doll, so fragile, so tender.

“Thank you.. Really. I think your belief in me when we first met really helped.. In fact, the thought of you brought me great guidance in rough times, but that's embarrassing to admit..” You nervously laughed. The stars in Peter's eyes as you spoke didn't go unnoticed.

You had gathered from your initial meeting that Peter wasn't typically the one to be on the receiving end of attention, let alone compliments. After all, you were the first being to have asked his name at the gates.

“Also,” You continued, “It probably looks pretty strange to others just seeing us chat just outside your post, c’mon, let's go get some ice cream like last time, my treat this time okay?” With that you took his hand and started heading back towards the plaza.

Peter stared at where your hands connected, uncharacteristically quiet.

Truth was, ever since your meeting, he had hoped and wished for you to show up at the gate again, for another meeting, being redeemed or even just to see him. Logistically, he knew it was impossible for that last option, you didn't have the ability to open the portals between the two worlds, but a part of him hoped that you would just appear before him one day.

And you finally did, despite his earlier ramblings, Peter felt almost shell shocked, he dreamt of the two of you meeting again, but now it was finally happening, all rational thinking had left his mind.

After you had left the ice cream parlour to go to the Serafim meeting, some angels approached Peter with demeaning questions.

'Why were you being so friendly to a sinner? You know they're down in Hell for a reason.'

'They were probably feeding you lies and sob stories weren't they?'

'Don't let them get to you, Saint Peter, we can't have you falling.'

But falling he did, not in the sense of turning to a life of sin, how could he ever? Without your knowledge, you had the Keeper of the Key wrapped around your finger.

Before he even realised, the two of you had made it to the parlour, feeling a small sense of déjà vu.

The two of you ordered and took your seats, everything seemed to be identical to your first meeting, and your conversations were as fluid as thought, almost as if the two had known one another for your entire existence(s).

What you found was that Saint Peter’s life seemed rather monotonous, yet he still managed to keep such a peppy attitude, guess that's how he became an angel in the first place, a lust for life.

Saint Peter’s break came and went in the blink of an eye. It almost disappointed you when he spoke about heading back to work. Did this moment ever have to end? You wondered to yourself.

Being the kindred spirit you were, you walked him back to the gates, fingertips occasionally brushing one another, but it didn't feel awkward. No, in fact it felt natural, as if there was some sort of invisible string pulling the two of you together.

“Do you have to go?” You spoke softly once the two of you reached the gates.

“You know I have to, besides, it's not like it's our presumed last meeting like last time, right?” He chuckled.

“Yeah.. I suppose so, we could see each other every day if we so wanted.” You smiled, not noticing the gap between the two of you closing.

Tentatively, he pressed his lips to yours. You could feel your heart flutter, it felt like one of those romantic kisses in a fairytale despite only lasting a few seconds. The kiss was filled with the warmth of a thousand suns embracing you in a tender hug.

"Peter.." You gasped out, face growing red as he pulled away.

"That wasn't too much was it? Ahhh sorry!" He panicked, but before he could sputter any more apologies, you pressed your lips to his, a chaste one, just to quiet him down.

“I'll see you once your shift is finished, okay?”

Peter’s mind was spinning, he could only nod pathetically, causing you to giggle. If his pupils could turn to hearts they would.

You turned on your heel, waving a little goodbye to him. “See you soon, Peter!”

“See you…”

Needless to say, Saint Peter’s mind was quite occupied for the rest of the day, causing many frustrations amongst the newcomers.

[igglemouse]

It's Friday and for some reason it feels a little peculiar, a little off. The air is a buzz with some kind of weird energy and I don't know why but I have feeling today will be a very memorable day. Just a feeling!

I told you today would be an odd day as Candela, yes, that Candela, texts me? My heart skips a beat as I read the message, confused at what I'm seeing as uncertainty kicks in. Could it be her? I thought I'd never see her again and while she's always been a close friend I wonder...do I want it to be her? Do I want that piece of my past dipping back into my life? Would I want her back in my life? Definitely, but I worry about how much of the past she might drag into my current mostly happy life. I tried to call her but I got nothing back. Maybe that is for the best.

I was ready to dwell on it maybe investigate it further but Pascal comes sweeping into the room, angry about something, likely his kick ball thing. It's always about futbol with him isn't it? I'm proven correct the moment he opens his mouth.

"It's the manager," he starts and his whole face is tinted with his anger. "I keep telling him he plays me too deep, I need to be up more, attacking more! We would have won if-"

"Pascal, my dear, I have no idea what you are talking about," I really have no clue.

"I'm trying to win games here and I'm not sure what he's trying to do? Prove a point? He claims we win the ball more when I play-"

"Pascal!" I reach out for him, my hands finding his shoulders and arms, squeezing, getting a handle of him because he is really worked up about this. "You are speaking another language right now!" I joke, hoping to add levity to our conversation.

"Right," he calms down at once, settling down just enough so that he could think clearly. "You are right. I just wanted to vent, can't vent to the team because that could cause issues you know-"

"Oh," now I feel slightly bad. I have been meaning to learn more about this sports ball game he plays but I've been so busy and tired and pregnant. "Well, yes, you can vent to me! I just want you to know you might have to do more explaining is all!" He really seems to like that and I love that I calmed him down!

Pascal goes off to work and that left me here cleaning which is fine since I feel like I'm really just passing time. I don't have a food stand anymore so for now I have shifted into the more domestic kind of role. I'm sure once I do officially become a mama I'll have less and less time so maybe I should just enjoy the time I have right now!

Despite my feeling that something special might happen today nothing does. It plods on as a normal day but at least Sara decides to stop by and has a new hairstyle as well? I think she looks amazing with it! I wonder if this is because of her new mysterious boyfriend in any way?

"I love it! It frames your face perfectly!" Doesn't it? I can't help but gush about her new style and the smile on her face tells me she's happy with it too.

"Yeah, I was skeptical right after but waking up in the morning and seeing my reflection? Yeah, yeah, I look good, don't I?"

I beam my approval, she does, she's always have. She would struggle with her confidence but you know ladies sometimes a new hairstyle is all you need. "Is the new mystery guy the motivation or?"

That question makes her look a little doubtful and maybe even slightly offended? "No, no, I think he liked my old style to be honest? I just felt like...it was time to change something up?" She seemed uncertain about it, maybe the change was just a whim she had and went with it. Sometimes you have to go with the flow.

"A change is all you really need sometimes!" I chime in to reassure her and she gives me a small smile. Just then, it felt like the right time to dive into her love life or more particular this mystery guy. I was just ready to open my mouth when she beats me to it.

"What about you and Pascal?" She asks, curious as always. "He's been having a rough time out on the pitch lately."

I'm ready to ask what's wrong but she's eager to explain, taking a long breath. "I think they just haven't found the right spot for him, the right space. Chemistry issues. He started the season blazing hot but has slowed down some. I think the defenses are starting to key in on him, getting rough with him, frustrating him-"

"Oh," and I was listening intently but again, she's speaking a new language to me, one I haven't even tried learning. "I wish I knew what you were talking about."

She chuckles and waves it off. "Ah, it's just a kids game, but I guess it is taken a little seriously?" She then looked at my belly which is now hard to ignore. "You are huuuuuge!"

"Yeah, I'm just ready for her to come out at this point," I give my belly a few pats and she responds with a kick, maybe she's ready too.

"I'm definitely not looking forward to that whole process myself!"

"Oh?" My eyebrow raises because I think this is the first time she's talked about becoming a mom. "Are you and ummm, your mystery guy, you two are serious then?"

"I...maybe? It feels right, you know? It just feels...right. He's a good man, dedicated, attentive, driven. It feels right."

I nod, even though I'm not sure I fully understand. This pregnancy was unplanned for me. I'm not saying I regret it, far from it, but life is certainly coming at me fast. So I find that my only reply can be "Sometimes you have to listen to your gut," but I also realize this is my chance. "This guy, who is he? Can I at least get a name?"

She chuckles softly. "Oh, yeah sure, I guess that isn't big deal! It's Simo-"

"Sara?!?!" I cut her off, I wanted to know, I did but... "I-it's go time! C-can you drive?!"

I am thankful Sara was there since I doubted Pascal could make it home in time. She was steady and serious and once at the hospital things really started to just...happen. Needles, nurses, doctors, all in a flurry. All moving in a practiced ritual and moving a sone as if they were a team that had done this hundreds of times before. Maybe they have. I knew I was in good hands but still that wouldn't stop the fear. What if something goes wrong? What if she's not...whole? What if she comes out wrong? What if...

"Don't worry Miss Varela, your vitals are good, everything is fine, she's going to be beautiful," the doctor tells me. I take a deep breath and calm down.

After the 'pre-game' it was time for the first kick. I'll be honest and say it was not fun. All I remember from it was pain and the mantra of push and breathe, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath...

For a moment I wondered when it would end. Hours had passed, how many I could not be sure, but eventually magic begun and after crying and wailing and pain and blood and tears I was holding her. She wriggled and screamed her lungs out, my little Florencia.

Frida Varela - Next Episode 8.5

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

My memory is terrible so I wanted to do a breakdown of my stuff every once in a while. Might be monthly, might be whenever I feel like it. And also. Spoilers and opinions below, read at your own risk.

QL - Currently Watching

🇯🇵I Hear the Sunspot [1/12] - I'm so grateful that I get a new jbl just as I'm mourning the end of the last one. I didn't read this manga but I've watched the film, and I really liked it even if it felt unfinished. Hopefully with 12 episodes it means we get the full story. This was a very good first episode, I feel like we established the main relationships dynamics and got a good insight into the main characters core. Taichi is my new child.

🇹🇭 Knock Knock, Boys! [6/12] - I continue to enjoy this group. Jane turned out to be a great addition instead of what I feared, but Peak really needs to step up so I can keep rooting for him and Thanwa, cause I'm also not a huge fan of the ex coming back as an obstacle for the couple. Latte and Almond are really great together and I'm curious how Almond will deal with his feelings for Latte, when he actually realizes he's having them.

🇹🇭Love Sea [4/12] - Before anything else, I love the ocean and I love when shows get out of the city. Also I like Mut. Now. I'm not a Mame hater. I'm a 'trauma is the only way to write deep characters' hater. I'm also a 'trauma gives you an excuse to be an asshole' hater. But most of all, I'm very much a 'love will fix you' hater. So just don't give me 3 out of 3 and it's fine. Also this last episode, all the talk about money and contracts made me feel some kind of way, although it doesn't seem to bother Mut so... And as much I like having Aya on my screen, Mook is really testing that line between cute and incredibly annoying. I'm not sure how long I'm staying with this one.

🇹🇭My Love Mix-Up! [4/12] - So... this is not good. The technical aspects of this are actually bad. Considering the number of sponsors is actually kinda incredible that it's so badly put together. The sound, the lighting, the editing, overall just... not good. Now, the rest. Look I don't want to ruin anybody's fun, so I'll keep watching this one quietly, unless something outrageous happens. But for the record, and this is all I'm gonna say, they are ruining the best parts of these characters and this story, and even if I ignore that (which I can't because it's an adaptation), it's pandering and it's a lazy attempt at recapturing the magic of msp, with a worse script and recycled material. Also I cannot believe they didn't put Atom in a trashing bag.

🇹🇭 My Stand-In [1/12] - For a number of reasons I'm waiting to binge this one. I do love watching the gifs on my dash though, pretty is pretty.

🇯🇵Ossan no Pants ga Nandatte Ii Janai ka! [9/11] - It's so good. I love them all. This last episode I was close to tears in several parts but the street proposal ended me. It's definitely one of those shows that I'm grateful that I get to watch even if I can't always find the words to talk about it. These characters have my whole heart. [everyone should be watching this and the wonderful @isaksbestpillow has made that possible with her subs. Here is the post with the latest episode. ]

🇹🇭SunsetxVibes [3/12] - It's ridiculous, it's fun, it's cute. Sun is such a simp. Man basically proposed before they were even dating. And yeah the way it started was not amazing, with the lying, but these two actually communicate about their expectations and what they're feeling which is better than a lot of shows right now. And I adore the sides.

🇹🇭The Rebound [2/12] - Everyone is gay and naked. And they play a sport of some kind.

🇹🇭The Trainee [1/12] - OffGun are back! I really liked the set up for this. It's only the first episode but I really like how they are walking the line between the comedy and the seriousness of the workplace. I love a good friend group so I'm looking forward to seeing how the relationships between all the interns grow. Poon is once again playing the silly brainless child of the pack but I don't care, I adore that kid for some reason. And next week we already got Gun crying so what's not to like?

🇹🇭 Wandee Goodday [10/12] - I already talked about my feelings regarding the last episode. I'm here for Oyei/Cher and Plakao. I love Inn and Great, they deliver with the chemistry but the DeeYak storyline is just a mess for me right now. I am also not looking forward to the inevitable redemption of the terrible parental figure.

🇹🇭 We Are [13/16] - The friendships are still great and mainly why I'm watching. I have a really good time watching those scenes. Only 3 episodes left and ChainPun continue to be the tinniest of crumbs. I don't expect much from this couple at this point and I'm a bit disappointed. FangTan are so cute and such good communicators. They are my favourites. QToey are cute. Now, Phum and Peem. Look PondPhuwin are really good at looking at each other like they're the only person in the universe. However. There's only so many times I can enjoy them staring at each other in slow mo. Once per episode oughta be enough I think. Hopefully now that they're actual boyfriends it gets a little less annoying.

QL - Finished

🇯🇵25 Ji, Akasaka de - What an incredible journey. I have to say it has been a while since a show surprised me this much, for the positive. For most of it I wasn't sure where it was gonna go or how it would end or who would be doing the running. The way they played with the show within a show was so well done. I loved the change in pov, which I always love in jbls, but it not only gave us the opportunity to see how Hayama's crush started but also we were allowed to see behind the mask that Hayama had been keeping up. Speaking of. I love him, one of my favourite characters of the year. And Komagine Kiita did an incredible job. I can't wait to watch him again when Tengu returns. If I had to say, the one thing I wish I had was more of Shirasaki's backstory. I wanted to understand better why his self-esteem got that bad. But that ending was great and honestly, I earned it.

🇵🇭Marahuyo Project - Well that was excellent. This show is beautiful. I want to hug them all and walk next to them. I really don't have the words for it right now so just go watch it. Because these characters are incredible and the visuals are stunning. All episodes here.

🇹🇭 Only Boo! - This is getting tiresome. Here it goes. Why? It was so great. They were the cutest shit and I had a smile on my face the entire episode. Even with the singing. It was wholesome and the mains delightful. And then... Heartbreak, time skip, no consequences, unearned happy ending. I mean Moo is a great character still, and Kang is the best boy, but I'm tired.

Rose Watches OJBL

Mood Indigo (2019) - I liked this one slightly better than the first. I think the visuals are stronger and there are some incredible shots throughout. The sex scenes are some of the best shot that I've ever seen. I love Kijima so even though I'm not always on board with prequels, it was great that we got more insight into him. Obviously we know this relationship was doomed from the start, and Kido has a lot to do with how we find Kijima in the beginning of The Novelist, but I can't help but feel for Kido. He is a mess that is struggling between the expectations that are on him (put there by others but also himself) and the affection and desire he feels for Kijima. And even without watching The Novelist there is always an air that this will not end well. For lack of a better phrase, it just wasn't meant to be. I'm looking forward to watching the rest of this series.

Dangerous Drugs of Sex (2020) - One of my first thoughts when I was watching this was 'we are using the word unhinged too freely'. Cause Ryoji has little competition on that score. This is not an easy watch. I really liked the way it was shot even if at times that meant my view was too narrow so I couldn't look anywhere else but the 'uglier' parts. In completely different ways they were both stuck in an uncomfortable (yeah that's not really the best word but I can't think of another) place and I could feel that throughout. I'm not sure about the ending but they look happy, so what do I know?

Other - Watched

There's a lot airing so I didn't watch much outside ql. I finished Under the Skin and rewatched a couple of things. My watchlist got longer and I have a bunch of shows that I'll hopefully tackle during my summer holiday in July. Speaking of...

There is a lot coming next month, so here is a post with all the shows that have been announced for July that I updated to include Meet You at the Blossom that was recently announced. New jbl starts tomorrow!!!!

As usual my ask box is open for questions or requests. Have a wonderful week💜

[hanamukes]

Uika and her inner monster, Doloris

Admittedly when I first watched It's MyGO and Ave Mujica 0th, I didn't really think much of Uika. She and Doloris are presented as such vastly different entities that my brain kind of glossed over her, because I don't tend to go crazy for characters who are presented to us as always being bright and warm. Even when the last episode aired and I saw her undergo the transformation from Uika into Doloris, it still hadn't fully set in for me (though perhaps this is simply because I was busy losing my mind in excitement about seeing Ave Mujica at all as well as the sequel announcement).

But reading the interviews that came out after the anime finished airing completely changed that. Uika is Tomori's opposite in every regard? She has a secret so intense it made her voice actress stand out of her chair and yell when she heard it? I need to know more! What on earth could this seemingly kind character be hiding?

I've been keeping a close eye on her content ever since, and it's slowly making me feel insane. So, in anticipation for the anime, as well as their 4th concert which will happen in December and thus give us even more Doloris lore, I wanted to compile a post on the both of them in which I will present my various thoughts and theories.

Doloris

Uika is, in the most literal sense, Doloris' actress. This could perhaps lend to many believing that Uika is not Doloris, or rather that Doloris is not Uika. At the same time, I want to pose a very simple question.

Who came first: Doloris or Uika?

Timeline-wise, Doloris came first. Can Uika even exist without Doloris? Can she be who she is without us immediately recognizing her as being Doloris? What came first was not "Doloris is a puppet persona Uika plays as on stage," but rather it was "Uika is Doloris from Ave Mujica." This was their intent; to introduce Doloris to us, and then to introduce this girl who has an identical design to her in the anime, who is seemingly her exact opposite. What weight could Uika's scenes hold, if not to tell us that she will later turn into the monster known as Doloris? On her own, without Doloris, what does Uika represent?

Doloris herself talks about wanting to be seen for her true self. Is Uika Doloris' true self, or is Doloris Uika's true self? Which is it that they want us to believe? Which one does "Uika" want us to believe? Which one is Sakiko, or perhaps Oblivionis, trying to convince us to believe? Who is "Uika"?

Our introduction to this character was not a Sumimi scene, or her consoling someone, or a frame of her smiling, or of her expressing her love for music. It was this.

This creepy, disturbing montage of Doloris, covered in blood, inviting someone into her cult. Inviting you into her cult. Inviting you to dig deeper.

Though if you want to go even further back, I would argue our first, true genuine introduction was Black Birthday itself.

You see, I don't believe there's any true and correct way to interpret Ave Mujica's songs. The songs are whatever you make of them. That's part of the insanity of Ave Mujica; of never having a proper answer, of always wanting to dig deeper. So I won't say this is that correct reading, but rather one of the infinite possibilities. That said, after watching the intermissions from their concerts as we currently know them, I can't help but feel their first 6 songs perfectly tell the story of Doloris. It goes something like this:

Black Birthday: Doloris' rebirth into her true self. The dyeing of one's purity into corruption. Finally being able to see what was once unseeable (perhaps the light in the pitch black darkness, which she discusses a lot in their stage plays). It's a disturbing birthday party welcoming the new her.

The Two Moons ~Deep Into the Forest~: Now reborn, she finds herself lost in a forest. The play sequence in the last episode of It's MyGO feels reminiscent to this song; Doloris straying into a forest (Loft Moon), while Oblivionis ridicules her, and yet she's so beautiful she cannot take her eyes off her despite the pain of having her heart torn asunder. The song even has imagery describing candles lit on a table, which we can see in the anime rendition of this scene.

Choir 'S' Choir: She's slowly giving in to the insanity of Ave Mujica. This song reminds me a lot of Perdere Omnia; when she finally stops her denial and begins to understand why the others wish to destroy the world. She's letting herself become an esquire, a fallen angel if you will. She hears voices screaming at her, and she knows she's being hunted down, but she keeps dancing anyway. She's testing out her new abilities.

God, You're a Fool: This song represents her inner doubts. What exactly are they fighting for? For whose sake? Why do they have to be in this situation to begin with? If God wasn't a fool, surely everything would be fine... right?

Mas?uerade Rhapsody Re?uest: She's decided she no longer cares about anything. No longer cares how corrupted she becomes, no longer cares to hide her dark feelings. She's just going to fully embrace it all, she's going to let herself be taken by the shadowy jesters. The mask is a part of her now.

Ave Mujica: With her mask as her skin, it's her turn to lure others in. She's going to corrupt you. She reassures you that those with masks will fulfill your any wish, and that even though this is a place of no return, don't worry, there's nothing to be scared of.

It's interesting, because while the songs can apply to anyone (the other dolls for one, and perhaps even the listeners themselves), I can't ignore the parallels between the story these songs are telling, and the story of Doloris as we've seen in the concert intermissions. (Regarding the Utopia single and the ELEMENTS series, those songs were written more to fit a specific narrative, and I don't think they apply to the dolls themselves as directly. That's just my own personal take on them though and is why I won't be analyzing them here)

As for the intermissions themselves, there's a lot going on in them and much of Doloris' dialogue isn't about herself, but I want to go over some general observations:

Doloris uses 僕 (boku). This is significant because she's the only one who has a personal pronoun that differs from her actress; Uika uses 私(watashi). Ave Mujica songs use 私 (watashi) as well, though I don't think this means much in the context of Uika or Doloris because it's just for formality (if anything, it's interesting because it's an inverse of Uika's narrative opposite, Tomori; who uses 私 (watashi) in her daily speech but 僕 (boku) in her songs). That said, in Quaerere Lumina, there's a segment where "Doloris" switches to 私 (watashi), which many found haunting because it almost felt as if those words came from Uika herself, and that she switched back to Doloris after speaking vulnerable words from her heart.

She uses 君 (kimi; "you") in an interesting way. In Perdere Omnia, this referred to Oblivionis. In Veritas, however, she uses this repeatedly in the context of "someone" who she wants to be reborn with. It's someone who extended a hand to her, and who took her mask off her. It's someone she wants to be with for the rest of her life, just the two of them. And at the end, she uses it in reference to you, the audience, who will surely attend their next concert. Who is it that removed her mask? Oblivionis, or us? (Like many things in Ave Mujica, my own interpretation on this is that it's probably Oblivionis, because at its core, this is a yuri band, and Oblivionis is in fact someone who we've seen accept Doloris for who she is)

Each doll has a specific thing they focus on: Oblivionis stands her ground despite everything but also talks about finding things pitiful, Timoris is logical and an observer who wants to be acknowledged, Amoris talks about her lost love and boredom, Mortis talks about peace and quiet as well as the beauty in death. For Doloris, the thing she highlights that the others don't is us watching her slowly spiral into insanity, and particularly as of Veritas, her sense of her own body (as well as this attachment to someone else, as mentioned above). She sees herself as an empty shell, which is true for the others as well, but on top of this she has a fixation on her mask and the relationship it has with her body. It's her skin, and simultaneously, if you remove it, below that you'll find her true, perhaps ugly self. It means a lot to her that someone could love the her that exists without the mask. (Is this intended to be foreshadowing for the relationship between Doloris and Uika, and which of the two of them is her truest self?)

Doloris is an embodiment of insecurity, and simultaneously, she's a ferocious monster when she performs. Rico Sasaki herself claims that she feels like Doloris possesses her when they hold concerts. Her voice is cold, bitter and pained; it's a far cry from Uika's speaking voice, which is so warm and comforting. She is plagued with sorrow, of which she would rather die and be reborn than have to deal with. Her ideal world is simply one of being together with the one who accepts her in all of her ugliness.

Uika

There's a sort of trend to Uika's scenes: when she's around someone else, she waits for them to talk or express emotion before she matches their energy, and when she's alone, she drops the happy idol facade. The very first time we ever see her, she's doing just this.

This is also apparent in two other (coincidentally Sumimi) scenes, where the same thing happens in each: Uika is matching the energy of who she's talking to, but the second she's separated from them by a door, she has an almost empty expression on her face.

(The fact this has happened for both Sumimi scenes, when Uika has so little screentime so every second we see of her is supposed to be precious, has me really wondering just how much she likes her "dream job." Also, I wonder if this is a coincidence: immediately after both of these shots, she looks at her phone and sees Sakiko on her screen which cheers her up (the first is an old text, the second is a phone call))

It's something that on its own feels a bit deliberate, but when you take a certain intermission from their concerts into consideration, it really does become something you can't ignore.

This is the one part of the concert intermissions in which Doloris uses 私 (watashi). This is what many interpret to be Uika's words.

To put this simply, she feels as if she's an empty shell who has to match the energy of the people around her. When nobody is there to give her something to react to, she reverts to that husk. This is exactly the vibe I get from a lot of her scenes in the anime.

(I talked in depth about these two scenes in my Taki&Uika writeup so please do check that out for my thoughts on them, but to recap for this context: it's interesting to me how she looks so "empty" until she reads Sakiko's message (and feels seen by her, thus breaking her out of that state; I also want to mention she never messaged Sakiko first despite having her phone number, which to me is such an explicit example of her feeling like she doesn't exist unless someone else contacts her first that you may as well have a bright red arrow pointing at it), and on the right we can see her matching Sakiko's energy)

And actually, she almost implies as much to Mana directly.

"It's easy for me to sing when I'm with you, Mana-chan." On the surface, this just seems like something she's saying to make her excitable partner happy, to show agreement even though she's exhausted and not nearly as excited as she is. Mana reacts, calling it a compliment. But is it really? Her wording here is deliberate: she can only sing well because she's with her. Because she's being seen by someone else. Watching all of their scenes, I can't shake the feeling that Uika would not "shine" as an idol without Mana by her side. Immediately before this, Mana's happily waving and thanking the filming crew while Uika gives them a more heartless nod. Uika's appeal as an idol is that she's "cool" (this is written on her character bio), so it's not that I would expect her to match Mana's energy in that sense (who's appeal is her energy)... but I do wonder what she would be like in this context without Mana, given she already seems rather tense even with her. (Here's an easily missable clip of her sighing the second she's alone)

What about her comforting Tomori? Surely that was the one scene where she was acting of her own emotions? And what about when she talked to her in the final episode? It's not as if she was matching Tomori's energy 1:1! She reached out to her on her own!

And maybe that's true. However, consider this: that happened after she got Sakiko back in her life. Is an empty husk still just a shell if the one who's there to look at her―and bring her to life―is by her side now?

Let's take a closer look at these scenes though, shall we?

The planetarium. Uika was there to look at the stars, which are reflective of her childhood memories with Sakiko. Then, she finds Tomori, who she recognizes as being from Crychic (because she attended their concert a year ago). I could believe it if she sat next to her because Tomori looked upset; Tomori has subtle facial expressions yes, but it's pretty obvious when she's hurt. She decides to sit next to her, but her seat won't recline (I've seen people point out that she's been there before, so she surely would have known how to put the seat down; I think this is very funny and could be true, though I do want to point out Tomori said "this seat works like this" and Uika was sitting in a different seat than we saw in episode 8 anyway). Tomori helps her and they make indescribable eye contact briefly before they go back to watching the stars.

Then she kept an eye on her when they left and caught her on the stairs. Pretty standard stuff. From the get-go though, she was matching Tomori's energy. This is really subtle and more obvious in motion, but when she's asking if Tomori's okay, Tomori's head dips down twice, and each time Tomori's head dips, Uika's dips down a second or two later to match her.

If it was just once, I wouldn't think anything of it, but twice? Why is she studying her reaction this closely to the point of replicating it?

Then this happens, and I'll just leave my commentary from a year ago because it still applies:

Uika stares at Tomori and the Crychic photo that she saw on their social media comes to mind. She focuses in on Sakiko and Tomori... but moreso Sakiko. This kind of goes under the radar as it comes across as her bringing up stars because she knows it's something Tomori clearly likes and thus could be a bridge of conversation between them, so to speak, but I can't shake the fact that thinking about Sakiko was what prompted her to start talking about the stars she can see in Tokyo. Sakiko, who she was separated from for so long and who she was only able to reunite with in Tokyo.

(As a side note before I continue, this conversation makes me wonder how familiar she is with Tokyo. I'm not well-versed in Japan's geography nor do we really know anything about Uika's personal life, but I do know she lived on an island as a kid because she says Sakiko visited her island. It's also her chat icon)

Another easily missable detail, but when she picks up Tomori's notes, she waits a second for Tomori to give "consent" (via eye contact) before she continues talking. I'll also just mention here that I do think Uika meant what she said about singing being something that conveys someone's heart, and I feel like this was the most honest she was in the entire show.

Moving on to the episode 13 confrontation. I'll be honest, this whole interaction is very weird and as I'm typing up this post I'm still not sure what to make of a lot of it.

Once again, Uika is in the planetarium, this time in the same seat she was in for episode 8 before she met up with Sakiko (starting to see a theme here). Then she spots Tomori and grabs her shoulder, calling her Tomori-chan. Tomori seems confused so she checks that it really is "Tomori" and says they met there before. She does the same thing she did in episode 10 where when Tomori shifts her head, she shifts hers too while she's talking to her.

I like this shot because it feels like she instantly goes into "handsome" mode when she realizes this girl is a fan of "Sumimi's Uika."

This is where this interaction gets weird, because Tomori says she doesn't know who Uika is, and Uika responds with... "I'm glad she doesn't." Huh? Even Anon herself says "Huh?" out loud here. I could not possibly give you an explanation for why Uika would be "glad" that Tomori doesn't know who she is. Why is she trying to get close with her if she doesn't care that Tomori doesn't know her?

Then she asks if Tomori's song worked and Tomori says yes. It still feels like she's trying to gauge her feelings (but for what?). Then she claims she doesn't know Tomori, they just "met at the planetarium before." Anon seems pretty weirded out still. Then she changes the subject and asks if the two of them are in a band. When Anon shows her her phone, which has all the band members listed, she stares at it for a second before asking if she can follow.

(Anon's face being cut off here is interesting to me given this is from Uika's point of view, and really what could be so interesting in that photo?)

The length in which she stares at it makes me think this is likely how she learned MyGO exists, though I can't really piece together what she gets out of this aside from knowing what band Tomori is in. Then she asks if she can follow them and leaves. The whole interaction feels so pointless yet so deliberate: we didn't get closure on Taki's character arc in this episode, but we got this scene of Uika following MyGO's social media account? I'll be interested in seeing how this is relevant later on.

Oh, and the most important part of this scene: Tomori never told Uika her name. Anon is visibly weirded out by this. Of course, this scene is also followed by another shot of Uika not having to match anyone's energy, looking stern as she seems to whenever she's by herself. (She's looking at Crychic's social media page and commenting on how Tomori is from Sakiko's old band, by the way; how did she pull that up so fast? She just sat down?)

Uika and Tomori are narrative opposites. The director for the anime stated that Uika is her polar opposite in every regard. Ricochi also pointed out that while Tomori's songs turn her human, Uika's turn her into a monster. Their episode 10 confrontation was intended to be them meeting before the Ave Mujica ball gets rolling, so to speak, in order to allow them to contrast greater when the sequel comes out.

In general, what I make of Uika's cheerfulness is it's reflective of something Ricochi said in regards to Ave Mujica as a whole: like the moon, she can't shine on her own, but when others look at her, a light glistens from her. It almost makes me wonder if she wanted to become an idol in order to, like she said in her introduction clip with Mana, "make others feel better too" with her songs, at an attempt to mask the fact she can't shine when she's alone herself.

Those are the biggest points I wanted to articulate, so below I'll drop some other observations.

Regarding the flashback scene of Uika and Sakiko as kids... Uika is blushing here when Sakiko is not.

Normally I wouldn't think anything of this, because that's just how the models are (for instance, Sakiko's casual clothes model seems to always have the blush regardless of her mood, while Oblivionis of course doesn't; Uika's model also doesn't have a constant blush), but this scene was hand drawn. It's more deliberate. I don't want to insinuate that this implies Uika cares more about Sakiko than Sakiko cares about Uika because I don't think that's what they meant here at all, just that these specific memories may hold different meaning to Uika than they do for Sakiko. Perhaps more importantly though (and even less obvious) is that Uika's hair looks longer in the shot of them looking at the stars than it was for their meeting and the bug catching. It makes you wonder how much time may have passed between those two memories. (I do recognize this may have just been a continuity error of sorts, but she is wearing a different outfit too)

In Sakiko's conversation to Nyamu, she hints that she got Uika for her band because of Sumimi's popularity. This is interesting to me because in episode 7, she absolutely... glares? at the Sumimi music video.

...Which makes you wonder how she really felt looking at it. In any case, I don't think it was just for the fame because you don't exactly call somebody and tell them to help you forget everything if it's just for the money. That's a pretty intimate thing to ask somebody, and especially for Sakiko who up until then had been actively avoiding speaking anything from her heart. We also know that Uika does the lyrics for Ave Mujica, so we can truly only make guesses as to what transpired between their talk and the final episode...

Oh, also, when Sakiko calls Uika, she blushes. Which feels pretty notable to me when seconds beforehand she was in "cool, kind of broody idol" mode.

As for the last episode...

When Nyamu asks if she can go to Uika's place, she says yes! It makes you wonder how close she is with everyone by this point, and also what her home life looks like.

This one is sold on the voice work, but she sounds super happy to get to see Sakiko.

This also happens at the end of the episode, when she asks if she can ride the train home with Sakiko despite the fact she got there in a cab. I wrote my thoughts about this here, but it is interesting to me how it implies she might not know about Sakiko's home life at this point.

For this line, it's not lost on me how similar this dialogue is in reflection to what Doloris says in their stage play immediately after; with Oblivionis talking about them being dolls, and Doloris questioning her every word. It's as if she'd turned into Doloris the second she put her mask on...

Tying it all together

What's striking to me is that in all the trailers for the Ave Mujica anime―which by all means will be where we learn more about Uika―we've only seen one shot of her.

The rest have been Doloris. From this we can presume that the doll lore from their concerts will be relevant to the actresses, we just don't know to what extent.

It's scary really, because... seriously, even if Uika does feel like an empty shell, there's more to it than just that. And despite all of my analysis up until this point, I have not a single clue what her actual deal could be. Even after I post this, I'll continue to watch her scenes over and over, trying to piece things together with what little we have right now.

I'll be very interested to see both Doloris and Uika in the upcoming anime, and in what ways the lines between them are blurred.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Silver Lining 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, speech impediment, bullying and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: silverfox!Bucky Barnes

Summary: You have an unpleasant encounter with an older man.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

"So your sister will be coming by next week with the little ones," your mother declares as you stand at the sink, scrubbing away the remnants of roast beef and potato. "You'll get to play auntie for the day."

"Mhmm," you nod, "what about Justin?"

"Oh, your brother's down visiting with his fiance's family. He said he'd try to make if for Christmas Eve but you know how her family is."

You sniff and pretend to know. You really don't. It's all hearsay to you. You don't hear much from either siblings; they have lives, you just happen to be related.

"S-sounds great," you utter as you put another plate in the rack.

"Oh, honey, you should just use the dishwasher," she says.

"It's f-f-fine, this works," you insist.

"Well, what about you? What are you up to?" She leans on the counter.

"I..." you don't know what to say. You need a lie, anything to appease her. Your brother's engaged, your sister has the white picket fence and you have nothing, "oh, I h-have a job interview."

"You do?" She sounds thoroughly disbelieving.

"Uh, yeah, w-well," you stammer through, trying not to give away your deceit, "since n-no one wants to h-hire me in my f-field, I f-found something new."

"That's exciting," she chimes, "what is it?"

"Uh, I w-want to see i-if it turns out b-before I say," you give a tight-lipped smile, "don't want to d-disappoint you again."

"Sweetie, you're not a disappointment," she hums, "I'm always happy to see you trying."

You look down at the sink and shrug. Behind that comment is the inference that you weren't trying before. That you haven't been. The long nights with vivid nightmares don't exactly motivate you and you've been all but blacklisted as an executive assistant. Even admin roles aren't responding. Even if you do get a bite, the job market is drawn out and tedious.

"Thanks, mom."

"Just... try not to mope around the kids," she chides, "it's Christmas."

You flutter your lashes, "sure, mom."

That's what you are to everyone; weak, pathetic, useless. No, don't do that. You'll make another appointment with Lisa, she always knows what to do.

☕️

Well, this is it. A last resort. One of those freelancing websites that pays pennies. It's better than nothing and will keep you from having too big a gap on your resume. You could easily do the writing gigs, easy money for transcription. You apply to a few of those and scroll on.

You sit up as you see a particular posting that interest you. Oddly enough, the pay isn't half bad. It's also labeled as 'may lead to ongoing work'. Well, well, well, now that's something.

You click into the posting for 'Podcast Script Writer' and review the details. A sample is required for application and lucky enough, you have lots of those hanging around. If it wasn't for your stammer, you'd have an episode done by now. You deleted enough recordings to the point of giving up. Well, this is a solution. You can get your work out there without having to embarrass yourself.

You go through the application, putting in your info and editing a draft before attaching it to the application. You just hope it's thorough enough. You never really let anyone else see and hitting submit makes your stomach flip. With the final click, you close your laptop and quickly get up. Alright, you're not going to dwell on it. If you hear anything, you'll worry then.

You try to read but can't focus. It just makes you think of the posting and your application. Oh jeez, imagine you're rejected but worse, they tell you you've done everything wrong.

Appointment! You can't forget that. You login to the app and put in a request for a Zoom appointment that week. Alright, you're getting things done, you can't say you've done nothing.

You put a video on your phone and lean it on the pop out grip, propping it up on your mattress to watch the compilation of sitcom moments cut together on Youtube. Your mind wanders and your eyes begin to sag as the day shrouds you in fatigue. You slip into a shallow doze as the glare of the screen flickers over you.

The distant clack of keyboards and clicking of mouses needles behind your ears. It's as if you're trapped in a bubble of silence, all colours and noised dampened by the unseen wall. You shudder as you hear his voice, the only thing that's clear. Your name crawls up behind the shell of your ear with his breath as his hands settle on your hips. Your body aches as every muscles tightens and your bones lock in place. Please, no, not again...

"Sir..." you try to speak but nothing comes out. He's always tugging your skirt up, his hand is around your throat. You close your eyes as tears stain your cheeks.

You wake with a start, your phone black as the battery's drained from neglect. You sit up and pant, looking around your dark bedroom, the moonlight limning shadows sinisterly. You gulp and fall back, watching the ceiling as the tears rise in reality and sting your eyes.

If you'd just said no. A simple word. Even you can manage that.

You lay for a while until your restlessness boils over. You get up and plug in your phone. The screen lights up as you rub your eye socket and yawn. There's an email notification in the taskbar. Probably more ads for things you can't afford.

You pull down the menu but find ‘Application Update’ emblazoned across the notification. Oh wow, that was fast. You keep yourself from tapping on the email.

You don't know if you can handle another rejection. You'd rather languish in the uncertainty. You've been doing so for so long, it almost feels safe.

[bekolxeram]

I woke up to a dash full of bones, and I thought to myself: What a day to be a moopsy!

But then I realized it was the same kind of bones people have been trying to force feed me since May. I'm a moopsy with standards, give me herringbone, funny bone, trombone, Jackson Rathbone (jk I've never seen Twilight), any other kind of bone.

Please don't force a moopsy into vegetarianism.

Oh, and I've read that opinion piece. It's certainly one of the articles ever written.

First of all, I feel like I'm in a time loop, I can't believe I have to dig through the vault to find this post from June. Tommy wasn't taking Eddie on an "adventure" in 7x04. Both flying and combat sports have been Tommy's passions way before Eddie showed up in his life. They happened to share common interests, so Tommy asked Eddie to tag along for the ride, but he was going to Vegas anyway, solo or not.

Exploring your partner's interests would be more like... I don't know, showing up to a groom-less (and fun-less) bachelor party while being on standby because it's important to your partner? Listening to him ramble about a dead outlaw even though you're so tired from your shift and taking care of him all night that you're basically mumbling half-asleep, yet still manages to catch that he's said "crossed" twice? Thinking your partner is stressing himself over a stupid curse but you still put on a nice suit, drive him to the cemetery and stand behind him while he gives a century old mummy a eulogy, for it to unexpectedly turn into a moment of connection between you two?

Secondly, I'm not even getting into the whole "slow burn is the only valid form of romance" thing. I just never imagined there would be a day I see the words "slow burn" and Bathena put together. They're the antithesis of slow burn. They're explosions in the form of beautiful fireworks. I understand that the author only started the show about a month ago? But literally, in the first episode of S7, Athena told the therapist that while she loved her husband, she didn't know how to just slow down and chill out with him. The cruise ship disaster arc ended with them bonding over yet another near death experience. Life's too short for slow to them.

Thirdly, 9-1-1 doesn't really do cute dates? It's either in the ending montage of an arc or it's a setup for some terrible misfortune afterwards. It's not a YA style queer coming-of-age show either, the best you'll see Buck navigating through queer spaces is speeding from "calling himself an ally while on a date with a guy" through "walking into a room full of people with a soot eating grin". (While we're on that, I guess I have to dig out another post from June about the first date closet comment. Tommy took the initiative to tell Eddie they were just hanging out, and Eddie bought it. He didn't mind keeping Buck's sexuality private, but he did mind Buck pushing him back into the closet with the hot chick lie.)

Finally, Tommy has been relatively involved in the Fire Fam circle ever since his re-introduction. He literally stole borrowed a helicopter and flew the 118 to the Pacific Ocean just to save Bathena. He was at the wedding, he was at the medal ceremony, and now he's part of the hospital vigil for Denny. And each time he's not just there for Buck, he's there for Chimney, he's there for Hen too. For someone who puts so much emphasis on "slow burn", the author seems rather hasty in pronouncing BuckTommy dead on arrival, after watching a total of 5 out of 18 episodes this season (with 2 of them heavily featuring passengers on the plane and putting the whole fire fam to the side no less). Every relationship takes time to build up, I'm sure the author understands that, welcoming a new member into your family is not a question of yes or no, it's also a question of when. Tommy has mentioned 3 times how much he wanted to have a team like that behind his back, how alone he was navigating through life with only negative influence like his father or Gerrard. Buck's story in 8x05 started as a spooky comedy about a mummy, but ended as a heartwarming tale of Buck empathizing with Billy's loneliness and declaring himself part of Billy's posse. So what do you think will be the more satisfying payoff to Tommy's story? Him being formally welcomed to the family eventually? Or having him break up with Buck then cast aside with a mere "lol sucks not being a main ig"?

[tokyo-tower-symbolism]

What does it mean to be a fan in Revue Starlight?

In the Revue Starlight Movie, the climax of the movie has Hikari admit to Karen’s dead stage girl body that the reason she ran away to London was because she was scared of becoming Karen’s fan. And because this sin is so great, she was unable to forgive herself and in an act of repentance she had to leave the one she held dearest. And also running away was easier than dealing with her emotions.

But what does it mean to be a fan, and why is Hikari so offended at the thought of it?

Click here to read this with pictures since apparently tumblr is enforcing the picture limit now. Personally I would read it there since that's how I meant for this to be read, but if you've seen the Revue Starlight Movie as many times as I have, feel free to just read the text on it's own and like picture in your head what I'm talking about. It's basically the same experience

Part 1: Hikari is a hater

In her following monologue, Hikari talks about the time the two of them first watched Starlight, the play that inspired them to stand on stage together as kids. 

It all started with that Starlight. The promise we made back then decided our future.

In episode 4, while catching up,  Hikari and Karen both affirm to each other that the reason they stand on stage is because of their promise after Starlight. Although noticeably, Karen brings up the play, Hikari brings up the promise.

This girl... she got the role of the mean and spoiled Lavina in the next play,

But it might get confusing when you first watch the movie and see that Hikari was already an actor even before she met Karen. She was super into theater as a kid and was not shy about it one bit. In fact, the reason she invited Karen to a show in the first place was because that was her thing that no one else around them was doing yet. So it doesn’t kinda make sense for her to have only started acting after watching that show.

The brilliance of the stars we saw that day... I didn't feel like I could reach it, and I was scared. On even aiming for it, if I couldn't reach it

But while Starlight was the birth of Karen as a stage girl, it was the death of Hikari. Just like Karen, she loved that performance. It was amazing, and the actors were so dazzling that she couldn’t ever see herself matching it. So she was ready to give up. And if Karen wasn’t there, she probably would have stopped acting entirely after that performance, since there was nothing left for her on stage.

You brought me back to life.

But Karen was there. She asked Hikari to become stars like them someday, and even though Hikari thought she could never match the performance she saw that day, she still had a reason to stand on stage because she promised Karen to be there, and no one else can take that role from her.

And although we only got this new perspective in the movie, a lot of this was actually already in the show, we just didn’t have the context.

I won't come back until I've become a star If I didn't push you away like that, I'd end up wanting to see you. You love the stage, and you love Starlight. And that's why I'm running, We'll reunite beneath the spotlight. On top of the stage where you are waiting for me. So that we can become stars together.

In episode 8, we finally see more of Hikari’s past and she has a rather interesting thought process about how to fulfill their promise. She didn’t think she could become a star if she was with Karen. Hikari notes that Karen has an unabashed love for the stage, but says nothing like that about herself. Instead of loving Starlight, her real reason for being on stage is the promise she made to Karen. And so, she can't do what Karen does and love the stage wholeheartedly like that. Following in Karen’s footsteps won’t take her to where she needs to be, since they’re just that different. After all, the performance that made Karen want to become a star was the same one that made Hikari give up.

So instead, she runs away from Karen, planning on becoming a star on her own and only then meeting up with Karen once she’s ready. And of course Hikari has no doubts that Karen will be a star herself by that point.

Hikari runs because she didn’t become a Stage Girl because of Starlight, she became a Stage Girl because Karen asked her to shine on stage together as stars. And at that moment, Karen was so dazzling that Hikari was inspired to dream as well. But the last time Hikari became a fan, she gave up on her dreams. 

But Karen was so dazzling that it scared Hikari. If she became a fan of Karen, she might end up giving up on her dream once again. Because Karen is amazing. So amazing, that Hikari might not be able to keep up and might give in. And she couldn’t bear to do that to Karen, to have her Starlight all by herself. And that’s why Hikari runs away. She’s sure that if she goes off to London to train and become the best in the world, when she sees Karen again she won’t get overwhelmed and give up this time.

But then again, Hikari is kinda stubborn and often makes unfounded leaps in logic all the time, so maybe we shouldn’t just take her words at face value.

Part 2: Actually Hikari was right, being a fan sucks

So you better praise me, cheer me on, and buy me lots of candy. You're my number one fan after all. In return, you'll be the first to see me shine the brightest in the world.

In episode 6, we have another pair of childhood friends who made a promise to each other about standing on stage. Only this time, they explicitly bring up the interaction between a fan and their star.

Kaoruko lays out the give and take relationship, in return for giving her what she wants all the time and pampering her, Futaba will get to be the first to see her shine the brightest in the world. And like they’re kids so it’s obviously not supposed to be that serious, but it kinda is? 

Like this is literally the relationship between the top star and the losers in the auditions. The losers give up their brilliance to the top star, and in return the top star can put on the stage of fate and perform a brilliance never seen before. 

The Audition steals the brilliance of the losers and leaves nothing behind. And although we never get to see the proper aftermath of an Audition and the relationship between the Top Star and the losers, we can kinda guess what might happen using Mahiru and Karen as the framework. 

You light me up with your glimmer, Without your glimmer, I can't do anything!

Mahiru became a fan of Karen during their first year. She was nervous before the 99th Starlight, but Karen’s optimism and support dazzled her in a way she had never experienced before. She gets blinded by Karen’s brilliance and decides to give Karen everything she has, always tending to her needs and supporting her by the start of the show. This is because Mahiru thinks she has nothing and needs to rely on Karen’s glimmer to even try and stand on stage. It’s not sustainable, especially when Hikari comes and Karen finds other priorities. It’s also not good for Karen either, since in their Revue Mahiru urges Karen to go back to how she was before when she always overslept and came in late, if only because that was when Mahiru was the one who got to be the closest one to see her shine the brightest.

So despite Mahiru being a fan, she didn’t want to see a better performance. She was satisfied with what she already saw, and didn’t need any more. But is it really admiration if she couldn’t properly see the star? After all, Karen was proud of her own improvements as an actor after seeing Hikari again and breaking out of her malaise, but Mahiru couldn’t see the change for the better, and only saw the departure from her ideal.

Because to be a fan is to be blinded by the brilliance of the star. The star shines so brightly that the fan can see nothing but the star, and any disruptions are just obstructions from that vision.

We see this taken all the way to the extreme with Nana in the Revue of Hunting, but unlike Karen, Junna changed for the worse, so Nana might actually have a point. Who said that?

Karen went from lazing around and not taking things seriously to practicing non stop and becoming determined to win the auditions. And it’s things like that which help her achieve her dream, she’s dazzling.

Meanwhile Junna decided to take things slow, instead of auditioning for the biggest and best troupe like everyone else, she chooses to take her time studying in college so she can continue learning and one day be among the greats. After all, the reason she worked herself so hard was because she thought she wasn’t there yet, and even though now she knows her limits, she still thinks she isn’t there yet. The root issue wasn’t solved.

And it’s a slight difference from the show, but it’s there, and it’s a big deal to Nana. Nana wanted to see everyone’s next stages. After Hikari joined, she thought everyone’s new selves were so enchanting, she wanted to see more. But the audition was when everyone was giving their all, and that’s not sustainable. Eventually they need to rest, but that’s not as compelling.

You... were beautiful Why... is it in past tense?!

Nana tells Junna that she used to be dazzling, and now she’s not. And this hurts Junna. Like Junna cries and I don’t think we’ve ever seen her get like that before. Because it’s Nana, and she’s the closest person Junna has. Like Nana was the one Junna didn’t have to be strong in front of after collapsing in Episode 2. So it hurts for Nana of all people to say that.

But Nana was Junna’s fan. She gave Junna so much over the years, from the food to stopping the time loops, and I guess she became disillusioned when Junna didn’t fulfill her side of that deal, to shine the brightest in the world.

It’s a tragedy how the fan-star dynamic managed to get in the way of their relationship.

Nana felt betrayed by Junna not living up to her ideal, and that hurt too. 

My Junna-chan... Isn't that kind of role! You're... not my Junna-chan. I don't need the role you've given me. All the stages you've prepared for me, I'll cut them all short! The one who's being blinded by the light is you! Because! On this stage, right now, I am, The dazzling lead, Hoshimi Junna!!

But during that revue Junna is reborn and is more motivated than ever to continue acting. But despite this growth, Nana doesn’t believe in this new change. Just like Mahiru before, Nana doesn’t care if this change is for the better, she’s still thinking of that one specific snapshot of Junna, and this just isn’t the same.

But Junna calls out Nana for not properly looking at her. She’s blinded by Junna’s past dazzling light, so she can’t appreciate this new Junna. Because yeah Junna did foolishly, incessantly reach out to become the lead, and that was admirable, but the new Junna who claims the lead herself was just as much a part of her even back then. But Nana didn’t see that before because as a fan, she latched onto what she liked, but there is more to Junna than that.

I'm the one who lost. Me, not her! Tendo Maya hasn't lost! Not to anyone! My Maya would never lose here. Maya hasn't lost!

And speaking of people who latch onto what they like and end up missing the bigger picture, let’s take a look at Claudine at the end of episode 10. For all her talk about how she was going to be the one to beat Maya, she refuses to accept that Maya lost. Because despite everything she says, Claudine actually likes that Maya can beat her. In episode 10, she admits that Maya humbled her in those auditions and is thankful that she managed to grow out of her old haughty attitude created from her prior success.

But now Maya losing is unthinkable to her, she cannot see a way that could possibly happen. Instead she blames herself for their loss, throwing away her own pride with that button if it could even give Maya a chance of advancing in the audition. Because Claudine is Maya’s fan. Claudine has been a fan of Maya ever since she lost to her, and will not accept anyone else being her star. She admires her as an actor and sees all the effort that Maya puts into being the best. She envies her position and skills, but doesn’t think that she herself is quite there yet. She thinks there’s some quality Maya has that keeps Maya from losing and Claudine just doesn’t have it, so she just keeps trying, studying Maya and training after hours, just like Maya. 

And this assumption blinds her to any other possibilities on how Maya could lose. Neither Karen nor Hikari would have beat Maya on their own, but it was how they Starlighted together that beat Maya and Claudine. And Claudine would have never thought of that as Maya’s fan. She thought she wasn’t a match for Maya, and so her defeat was guaranteed from the start.

Nah, I'm sure that Tendo-san and Claud-chan will get the lead roles again. I guess we're no match for them.

And it’s not just Claudine. Everyone is in awe of Maya’s talent. This is just how things work at Seisho. In the first episode, Karen and everyone else in the class don’t even think they even have a chance at becoming the leads this year as long as Maya and Claudine are here. 

And it’s kinda interesting that Claudine is also that star for so many of them, right? Like Claudine never thought she could win, but for everyone else they were neck and neck. And sure part of it might just be the gulf in skill between the two and everyone else, but part of it is that Claudine can’t see herself objectively, like how everyone agrees she’s on par with Maya, because she doesn’t believe she can win.

And the rest of them don’t even think they could beat her.

But it’s one thing when it’s just one play you give up on. It’s another thing when it becomes such a habit that the stage girl gives up on her future just like all those other lead roles.

Are you okay with it, Junna? Not applying for the New National. I'm no match for people like Tendo-san, and you. But, That's just for now!

At the start of their third year, Junna gives up on auditioning for New National before even applying because she knows she is not a match for actors like Maya and Claudine who are a shoo in. 

Since you're Junna, I think you can become it. At least as good as Tendo Maya.

But like, that’s not true! Claudine even says that Junna could be just as good as Maya, she just needs to let herself. And it’s not just empty words, Claudine said the same of Futaba who also managed to get in. And Futaba herself specifically names Junna as a stage girl she admires who has something she doesn’t.

And alongside that, this is also really out of character from what we’ve seen of her in the show. Like when she had to sit in the audience for the finals, she literally studies them to beat them in the future. She refused to give up even when she lost! But because of this, Junna knows better than anyone how amazing the two of them are. And she tried so hard, time and time again, and nothing came of it. It’s not hard to see how she might have lost her way when the pressure closed in on her. But Junna still has plenty of fight left in her, this isn’t it for her. She’s going to continue to study so she can one day beat them. 

But I gotta say, this isn’t like what we’ve seen before of Junna. If anything, this is Hikari behavior!

Think about it, Junna says that she won’t be able to match them, just like what Hikari thought about that performance of Starlight. But Junna still plans on continuing to study until she can one day become the lead. That was literally Hikari’s plan and why she studied at RATA so she would some day come back as a star to stand across from Karen.

And this is clearly not the right attitude since this conversation was what directly led to Nana starting the Revue of Annihilation, where she called everyone else out on not being ready for the next stage. Also it didn’t really work for Hikari either the first time.

You've been blinded by the stars you can't reach, and now, You can't see anything!

Back in the Revue of Hunting, Nana lays out what exactly happened to Junna that kept her from finding the stage where she could be the dazzling star at Seisho. Because she kept studying Maya, Claudine, Karen, and all those famous authors, she saw how great they were and lost sight of how great she is. Instead of aiming for them, she tried to avoid the brilliance of the star, but that isn’t enough if she ever wants to fulfill her dream, just like how it isn’t enough for Hikari.

The auditions haven't even started yet, so don't decide who will be playing the leads.

Because Junna said it herself in episode 1. The result hasn’t been decided yet, so Junna preemptively bowing out is just doing herself a disservice. She is essentially giving up her brilliance so she can watch someone else be the top star and shine in her place.

After all, this is all just the story of Claire and Flora. In order to get Claire's memories back, the two of them climb the tower, but right before they pluck the stars and achieve their wishes, Flora is blinded and separated from Claire and the rest of the goddess, losing everything.

That is the fate of fans and their stars.

Part 3: Okay being a fan isn’t the worst thing in the world actually

I’ve been kinda harsh on fans in this essay so far. And while it is deserved, it would be misleading for me not to mention that Flora climbs that tower after she falls and joins Claire and the Goddesses again.

Cause keep in mind, all the characters genuinely admire each other. They think all their friends are amazing actors and are constantly hyping each other up. 

Maya and Claudine acknowledge each other as rivals and as the only one skilled enough to keep up. Junna admires the two of them and is constantly learning to one day beat them. Karen and Hikari both think Mahiru is dazzling, even if she doesn’t see it yet. Kaoruko and Futaba know beyond a shadow of a doubt the other is gonna be a star. And don’t even get me started on how much Nana loved the 99th production of Starlight.

And that’s not to mention that it was because Karen was a fan of that first production of Starlight that it inspired her to stand on stage. Being a fan is not necessarily a bad thing. If anything, it keeps characters going. Claudine even says as much considering that she stagnated in her growth when she stopped chasing after Maya between their second and third years. Futaba found her own dream to become a star while following Kaoruko. It was the quotes that Junna admired that led to her creating her own words for comforting Nana in episode 9. And Nana kept winning those auditions because she wanted to see her admired 99th Starlight, again and again.

Earlier I mentioned how Junna gave up before she even started when it came to New National. There is actually another character in the same position as her, but unlike Junna, she has the same attitude towards New National from the start to the finish.

I know that it will be difficult to enter the troupe with my skill level. But... Nothing starts without people. I realized that from watching everyone else. So I can aim even higher, to the summit, My next step has to be as high as it can possibly be.

Futaba is a fan. She came to Seisho to follow Kaoruko, not because of her own ambitions, but she found them there. She wanted to become a star like Kaoruko and everyone else. Even if she’s not ready yet, she still wants to aim as high as she can and not just settle. And she learned that from everyone else. I’ve been harping on about how being a fan closes the door on opportunities by giving up before even trying, but that doesn’t have to be true. If anything, being a fan can open possibilities that the person would have never realized on their own.

All of the stage girls are fans, that’s why they decided to stand on stage. And that’s why they can understand each other.

I see... You were scared. You're the same as me, then.

Hikari has been running away from Karen for over 12 years, that’s most of her life. But it only takes 1 revue with Mahiru for her to change her tune, because Mahiru is the only one who could understand her fear.

That whole thing about being afraid of becoming Karen’s fan? That already happened to Mahiru. Compared to Karen, Mahiru thought she didn’t have any brilliance, but that isn’t true. The people closest to her, like Karen or her Grandma, never thought that for a second. They saw the best in her and pushed her to aim higher. The inadequacy was all in Mahiru’s head, and it kept her from realizing her full potential. But little by little, with encouragement from everyone around her, Mahiru got past that. She was able to find her own warm and compassionate shine. 

After all, even after their revue, Mahiru continued to take care of Karen, but also started to take care of herself. She kicked Karen out of their room because she knew Karen would make cleaning their room harder, when before she would have been so anxious if Karen ever left her side. Mahiru no longer flinched whenever Karen got close to another girl (for instance Hikari, but also take a look at how Mahiru acts around Junna in the first two episodes), and instead could be happy for her that she fulfilled her dream with Hikari. Mahiru herself managed to find and achieve her dream of joining New National. She never could have done that before when she was blinded by Karen’s brilliance. 

But it was Karen’s brilliance that soothed her nerves during that first Starlight. It was Karen who convinced Mahiru that she has her own shine in their revue. And it was Karen who introduced Mahiru to Hikari, someone she also wanted to perform with.

You were a real stage actress!

And Hikari sees that. Mahiru was Karen’s fan, but now she’s a real stage actress, not just a stage girl. Hikari can become one too, but only if she stops running away from being Karen’s fan and accepts it. 

After all, Karen’s dazzling, but she’s not all that different from Hikari. By refusing to actually look at Karen, Hikari is just cutting off her own options to become more like Karen. 

Like, throughout the series Hikari grows by being like Karen. She didn’t plan on fulfilling their promise to become stars together in the auditions, that only happened because Karen inspired her. And so, Hikari’s weapon would have never transformed and they would have never been able to beat Maya and Claudine if Hikari kept running away from Karen. Or how both of their deepest desires were to do Starlight together, and it was only because Karen was so persistent and inspiring that Hikari finally admitted it so they could perform together.

Because Hikari has so much she can learn from Karen, just like how Karen learns so much from Hikari.

Hikari was the first one to introduce Karen to the stage. Karen can only focus at Seisho because Hikari is there. Karen only learns the true ending of Claire because she tries to understand Hikari by reading the original English version of the Starlight Gatherer.

Everyone's so enthused... Like that, they're just like your average fans.

Because in the end, Revue Starlight wants the stage girls to be fans. Stage Girls need to love what they’re doing and dream big. But they just can’t stay as fans.

Hikari-chan... is so pretty... She's terrifying. Hikari-chan makes me envious, Hikari-chan makes me frustrated, And I can't take my eyes of of her. I know, now. The reason why I'm standing on stage. I have to say them, The final lines. I... don't want to lose to you either, Hikari!

At the climax of the movie, Karen admires Hikari. Her feelings about Hikari are a mess, absolutely all over the place, but Hikari is the reason they exist. Karen can’t look away from her. And although that admiration gives her the epiphany of why she stands on stage, her admiration isn’t why she wants to stand on stage. Instead, it’s because she doesn’t want to lose to Hikari.

Because admiration comes with fear of the unknown. 

In the movie, we see so much fear. Fear of where the unknown future will take them. Fear of disappointing someone else or even themself. Fear of losing something precious along the way. Fear of Mahiru. 

Karen was scared to hear about Hikari in London because there was a chance Hikari forgot about their promise. Fear kept Hikari away for over a decade because Hikari was scared she would lose herself in Karen. Mahiru was scared of what would happen to her if Karen is taken away from her. Nana was scared she would lose her friends as time passed. Junna was scared to aim too high when picking colleges because she wasn’t sure if she was ready. Futaba didn’t tell Kaoruko about her future plans because she was scared of her potential reaction, and she was also scared she wasn’t good enough as an actor. Kaoruko was about to preemptively cut ties with Futaba because she was scared they would drift apart in the future. Claudine was scared she was missing something that Maya had, and if that meant she would never be good enough. Maya was scared that her true emotion drenched appearance was ugly and was willing to throw everything about herself away to become the perfect lead. Amemiya was too scared to face everyone after being unable to finish her script. And Masai was scared that their final performance might pale in comparison to last year’s.

It’s the unknown that scares them.

But the thing is, we don’t understand the things we admire, that’s why we are drawn to them, because someone else did something and we don’t know how. And there are two types of reactions to that, the feeling that you could never do that, and or the feeling that you want to try and do that too. 

In Revue Starlight, stage girls cannot be content with just being a fan in the audience, they must become a rival, because they want to perform like that too, no even better than that!

Karen doesn’t want to lose to Hikari, so she needs to find a new stage to put on a performance to challenge her. She can’t just give up because she doesn't know how to start. Even if she doesn’t have her future planned out, that feeling is the start of what’s needed.

And you know what, the Revue Starlight Movie is absolutely the product of this idea, because the people who made Revue Starlight are fans themselves, they love films and performances, but they weren’t just satisfied with that. They wanted to make something that wouldn’t lose to anything they saw before.

Part 4: Revue Starlight is about performances and is a performance so let’s get metatextual 

Revue Starlight wears its influences on its sleeves, from the Takarazuka to Utena, and it’s proud of it. (Or so I’ve heard. I haven’t actually seen either of them yet but I swear I’m gonna get to watching them eventually). But the movie goes even farther with the revues referencing genres like Yakuza films or events like the Olympics, and even specific scenes and vibes from films such as Mishima, King Louis XIV Le Roi Danse, and Mad Max: Fury Road. Revue Starlight doesn’t worry about never being as good as those movies, instead it uses them to tell its own story.

(If you would like to read about more of the references of the movie and how they are used you should definitely read the Borrowed Brilliance essay. It actually goes into a lot of the things I wrote in this essay, I just only remembered it existed after writing most of this so whoops. But it is still really good and I think more people should read it.)

I'm really scared about whether we can surpass that Starlight! It's the last stage we'll create with just us, the 99th Class! Until the end, I want to create it together with everyone!

During the kick off party, Masai admits she’s scared if their next production won’t be as amazing as their last one. But still, she wants to make it. She refuses to get caught up in her admiration of something that already existed. Instead she wants to do what she can now, to use that inspiration and make a production that someday rivals that stage. Because only you can make what you create. 

Even if someone else could do it better, even if you can’t do it as well as you hoped, you are the one making it, and like it or not, that’s going to include everything, from your own experiences to your own struggles. You’ll have to make compromises and won’t get everything exactly the way you want it. You won't be able to properly explain what’s in your head to your collaborators and ideas will get lost. You’ll look back in a year and think of everything you did wrong and how you would’ve done it better now. 

But you made it. And it’s out there. And someone out there will see it and they won’t know any of the struggles you faced while making it. They’ll just see the finished product. And they’ll have thoughts about it. And they might not even know the original works that inspired you to create either, that you are trying to rival.

And your work is going to be out there.

You're making a terrible face. But, You've written this much. It's great, Amemiya-san! I want to say this goddess's line!

When you compare your work to the others, you can’t think you’ll never be able to match them. That’s not gonna get you anywhere. Instead you need to want to rival those works someday. That’s the only way you’ll be able to put out something you can be proud of.

And that is what Revue Starlight wants out of fans.

[from-izzy]

[19:32] | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x pregnant fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: uhhhh...i don't think there's a trope for this one 🤔 established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: hurt/comfort!!, husband sunwoo, fluffy fluffy fluff fluff, slight angst, ​comforting sunwoo, loving sunwoo, patient sunwoo, hurt/comfort » WORD COUNT: ​1868 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~7 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): pregnancy, vomiting and sickness, insecurities

this was my first ever timestamp story! ahhhh the memories from re-reading this 😍

i didn't want to change it much (changed one sentence) but it's more proofread now 🤭 this gathered 183 notes (14 rbs, 169 likes) and even though it hurts that i can't see that evidence anymore, i'm glad it got that much love!! this is very overdue but thank you so much 🫶

navi/masterlist!!

You never knew that pregnancy would be this hard. 

Whenever you asked your mum about her pregnancy journey, she would always have a smile on her face, telling you all the exciting milestones; first positive test, telling other people the news, first ultrasound, first time there was a definite belly bump, first movement, buying items for you or your big brother and the list goes on.

Your mum didn’t leave out the other side of pregnancy though and in particular the sickness and depleted self-confidence due to the new changes in the body internally and externally. However, your mum only experienced a few episodes of morning sickness (compared to your grandma or her already mum friends) and you were nowhere like your mum.

“Please…” The tears in your eyes only accumulated over the past hour or so and the clock on the opposite side of the bathroom was becoming blurry. You could only murmur out whispers of pain and begs that this episode would pass by soon; and before Sunwoo would arrive home.

Kim Sunwoo has been the best husband ever. You thought that he was already perfect and loving but with all the new challenges and experiences in life, there was no way that you couldn’t fall for him even more day by day and the silver band around your ring finger is one of the evidences for that. 

Trudging to stand up from the kneeling position, the small whispers turned into louder cries by the second. The headache was killing you, your knees felt so cold and you could still taste the acidity of your stomach in your mouth. The flush button feels so out of reach unlike the first three times you pushed it and you eventually gave up for a bit to rest your forehead on the toilet seat, “God please…”

Still with all of these rough patches during your pregnancy, your blurry eyes could still see the purple shirt that covered your little pregnancy bump and with shaky hands, you soothed the little bean inside of you, “Can’t wait to meet you, baby. Your dad and I can’t wait to finally hold you in our arms.”

As if your child is listening, a little kick could be felt as if acknowledging their mother’s loving words. You could only sob while chuckling, still softly rubbing your stomach and whispering sweet nothings to your stomach. 

In the back of your mind, you are still very aware of the time. Sunwoo was supposed to arrive home around an hour ago yet he’s still not home. You were about to call him to check up on him but your episode started and your phone is way too far for you to even comprehend walking to the other side of the apartment. Sunwoo has been so busy for the whole time of your pregnancy with work as well as taking care of you. 

Waking up at a random time at three? He’s there to walk you to the bathroom

Sudden craving as soon as you wake up? Count on him to drive there and back as soon as possible.

Needing hugs and comfort? He’s running and never letting you go.

This was not how you wanted to greet him after a long week of work, especially when it was his first week of getting promoted. You just don’t ever want to worry him but you conflictingly accepted that pregnancy is not necessarily a one-person job and Sunwoo made you realise how important it is to always reach out to him whenever you need him. Still, you try to do everything yourself first.

Needless to say, you love this man with your whole being and you can’t wait for your child to meet the best dad in the whole wide world.

You freaked out at the familiar sound of the door unlocking, creaking open and the bright call for your name. With all the strength that you have accumulated over this short amount of time, you find the drive to stand up, put the toilet lid down and flush your evidence of pain down the drain. 

But throughout your pregnancy, Sunwoo is always so alert whenever he hears the toilet flushing that he practically runs to the bathroom to see you struggling to take even a step further away from the toilet, holding your body by pushing down your palm onto the edge of the sink next to you, “Baby?” At the sight of your dried tears, red eyes, dishevelled hair and shaking body, Sunwoo rushes over to you, imagining the war that you probably had alone, “Sit down here.” He pointed and directed you to the toilet seat.

You couldn’t help but cry again when you felt Sunwoo’s arm wrapping around your waist, setting you down on the toilet carefully. He kneels before you, lifting his head to scan your face for any additional discomfort, “I’m sorry.” Sobbing louder and louder when you catch a glimpse of his worried glance and creasing forehead, “I wanted to greet you nicely today. I even made you some snacks and such in the kitchen but you have to see me all ugly like th---”

“Hey, hey. Just stop, okay?” Sunwoo hushes your words when you begin to downgrade yourself, “Don’t say those things. You’re beautiful, bubs.” He tries to steal a kiss from your lips but you shake your head and push your face backwards, “Hey…”

“No, don’t kiss me. I'm disgusting right now.” You managed to say between your sobs. You couldn’t face your husband anymore in shame that you couldn’t take care of yourself for the whole week. Everything seemed to have the worst timing. You just wanted to make sure you could at least be there for Sunwoo when he opened the front door as he got through his first week of promotion yet not even halfway through the week, it was obvious that Sunwoo has done more reassuring than getting reassurance, “Don’t leave me…” 

Your heartbreaking tone made Sunwoo's heartbreak, “I promise I won’t.” He whispers with a sad smile. He’s heard this a couple of times recently but he promised himself and to you that he will always remind you that he’ll always be by your side, just like he promised a year ago on your wedding day, “Bubs, I’m right here for you. You can lean on me okay?” You clenched your fist at the understanding words, though you still felt so frustrated with yourself. Sensing this, Sunwoo rests both his hands on yours, moving his thumb over your palm to hopefully soothe your nerves, “I…should have called you. I’m sorry I’m late today.”

“Don’t be…” You shake your head, and finally meet your husband’s eyes who looks to be relaxed even though he’s also nervous inside, “Was everything okay today?”

“It was more than alright.” Sunwoo bites his bottom lip, crushing himself out internally to not rush home even faster when he left work today. He tried to hide his thoughts but his hands on top of you betrayed him.

“Sunwoo…what’s wrong?” 

“It’s just that---” Sunwoo sighs out exasperatedly at his past actions, taking one hand away to sweep his hair backwards, “I just should have come home earlier. I finished work early today but I decided to go to the shops for a while.”

“Hey, don’t blame yourself.” You reassured him for the first time in the whole week (that’s what you felt at least), bringing your hands to cup his face gently, “Did you get whatever it was that you wanted?”

“I…” Sunwoo shook his head, closing his eyes frustratingly, “I did but I would have come home earlier if I knew you were like this.” Suddenly, he took out his phone from his pocket, scanning the call log history and not once a single missed call came from you, “Where’s your phone by the way? Why didn’t you call me with your watch?”

“Phone is in the kitchen. And my watch…” You answered guiltily. You had a feeling where this conversation would go as it did many times in the past. 

There were too many occurrences before this one when Sunwoo would come home with you in this state, sometimes better than this, unfortunately, more times worse than this. When Sunwoo realised that this wasn’t going to be an easy thing to predict and prepare, he got you a smartwatch that allows you to call him. 

Never once had you used it.

How could you when you felt like the worst person ever to be burdening him with this? You should be able to do this alone. All the mothers on the internet did. All those single mothers probably did this all alone too. So you should be able to do this too?

“We talked about this.” Sunwoo said sternly, his eyebrows furrowed. He puts both of your hands away from his face to your lap, tapping on your watch on your wrist and calling his phone to make sure the dial still works. Sure enough, his own phone rings along with your saved name on his phone and his personalised ringtone for his wife, “Bubs…”

You shook your head, “I-I just can’t…not when you’re so busy with work and feeling tired.”

“Bubs.” Sunwoo’s voice shook and before saying anything else, he rested his forehead on your hands, taking deep breaths as he calmed himself down, “In sickness and in health right?” He continued his words as he looked back up with a tear rolling down his face. You whimper at the sight, your heart swelling as you can feel the love that he holds for you in his eyes.

“I-I know but sti---”

“Pregnancy is not supposed to be tackled alone like this.” Sunwoo shook his head, pressing a kiss with his plump lips on your forehead, “Someone is supposed to support you, hold you, and make sure you and the baby are safe and sound. I can’t be that someone if you don’t tell me, you know?” He reminded you once again, being the utmost patient with you as you wrap your arms around his neck and he holds the sides of your waist.

“Sunwoo…”

“Call me next time, please? You’re not a burden. Not to me. Never to me.” Sunwoo cups the side of your face with his palm and with a genuine smile that finally reaches his eyes, Sunwoo leans down to give you a soft peck on the lips despite your pout and complains after, “You’re beautiful, sweetheart. I love you so much.”

It was such a simple statement from your husband yet you felt your whole body relax at the genuine reassurance from the one person that you love the most in this world. Even though your eyes were still leaving tears down your face, Sunwoo looked at you with the most heartwarming gaze in the whole world, smiling with that box smile of his when you finally managed to let out a small smile, “I love you so much, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Now.” Sunwoo leans away to stand up slowly before kneeling back down again but this time with his back facing you, “Hop on! I bet you’ll be happy with what I got you.”

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

[shubaka]

some kpts fic recs! here are some that i'll randomly catch myself thinking about again :')

GEN

Silver for Truth by snickerdoodlles

Tawan dug himself a grave when he hurt Kinn all those years ago, now it’s time for Khun and Kim to put him in it. (this is part 2 of a series but i feel compelled to rec this particular one lmao)

The Knight's Pawn by Yuujeong

When Big appears one day at Kim's doorstep as his new bodyguard, Kim is mentally prepared; he will not befriend, he will not open up and most importantly, he will not get attached. Korn made sure he learned this lesson a long time ago. Still, sometimes, on silent nights consisting of a cigarette and his guitar, he ponders on his past, on the days accompanied by an unassuming bodyguard with dimples and he smiles bitterly to himself. Or. The relationship between Kim and Pete, before everything.

KENBIG

Somewhere with Snow by gayzuko

"Everything's going to shit, isn't it?" Ken says when they part. Big sighs. "Yeah. Yeah, it is." "Do you ever think about leaving?"

KIMCHAY

Back on the Beat by Pens

On one hand, Kim is thrilled that Porchay responded to his ridiculous message. On the other hand, he doesn't really know where to go from here... he supposes he has no one to blame but himself. At least Porchay hasn't left him on read this time. Kim will just have to figure out a way to get Porchay to forgive him... through memes.. Illustrated and animated!, with some words in between.

clip by laesa

Korn dies and Kim slowly grows his hair out long. His brothers and boyfriend approve.

Come On, Get Up by phnelt

Kim gets kidnapped. Luckily, Chay has a very particular set of skills that he has acquired over a long career of being an ultra-fan. And he knows how to google.

deep in this sleeplessness by bisexualbard

“Kim.” Chay keeps repeating, and hearing his name from those lips still makes something flutter in his chest, even after all these months. “Are you saying we could have been getting a good night’s sleep for like a week now and you didn’t tell me?” He shrugs again. Chay keeps emphasizing words accusatorily, like approaching him and saying, hey I think we’ve been cursed so that we can’t sleep unless we’re near each other please let me curl up next to you in bed, wouldn’t be batshit crazy. Kim can't sleep. Chay can't sleep. Somehow this leads to Kim spending his nights in Chay's bed with the Great Wall of Pillows standing firmly between them.

From the Ashes by Water_Nix

Episode 14 canon divergence wherein Kim doesn't leave Hum Bar without Chay, and Gun gets out what he was going to say about Namphueng before Korn has a chance to act against him.

Heiligschennis by scattered_stardust16

Kim’s legs tremble with the effort of holding himself up, his pants and briefs are a mess around his ankles that neither of them care about right now. Not when Kim’s skin contrasts so beautifully against the black shiny polish of the piano he’s lying on. Chay could wax poetically about that contrast for hours. Starting with the way it makes Kim’s skin seem even more golden that it usually does.

Idolistic by ditchlily

Kim has control issues, and likes to seed his fandom with misinformation. Chay is a bnf with an unerring ability to spot the lies. This is a meet cute. Contains: weird courtship rituals, creepy cousins, far too much PDA, and Kim and Chay, teaming up to take on the world and take down family conspiracies.

Kim's Magic Pussy by imdeadlily

Kim wakes up and finds his dick is gone. MIA. Vanished. Displaced. Chay has no issues with this.

Moondrunk by TheCookieOfDoom

Porchay is a werewolf that crosses into vampire territory during his first full moon, an honest mistake that could lead to war. Luckily the vampire he meets cares less about their treaty than he does about the lost, golden-eyed cub stumbling through the forest.

Outside the Frame by just_slightly_chaotic

"So, P'Kim." Chay nonchalantly picks at the food on his plate, glancing at Kim from underneath his eyelashes. "What is the new MV going to be about?" Kim's heart picks up in speed. He wills it to slow down, without success. "I'm a prince who's been forced into an arranged marriage." Chay's head snaps up at Kim, eyes widening. "But I fall in love with a stablehand instead and we run away together." He's pretty sure he sees the world implode behind Chay's eyes. --- Kim doesn't need a social media manager. He's doing perfectly fine. Until Chay comes along. And then... well, he still insists he doesn't need a social media manager. But he does need Chay. (Even if it takes him a while to admit it.) (WIP)

tear out the threat of your love from my skin by booksnchocolate

It's not Porche's fault. Chay tells himself this firmly when it starts. This has nothing at all to do with hia, nothing at all to do with waking up one morning at 17 and finding his older brother firmly gone from his life. It's not Porsche's fault, but that is when it starts. Chay breaks. (please mind the tags on this one)

There Must Be Nine by Discophilia

Porchay Kittisawasd has felt unlucky for his entire life, he just never knew there was a reason. The morning of his 19th birthday, he collapses, victim to a dark generational curse that's somehow connected to Kim, too. Racing, Kim has to find a way to break the curse before Chay is lost forever. (WIP)

when i drive myself my light is found by IsleofSolitude

When Chay bought a car, he didn't realize hwat a great deal he got. It came with leather seats, a full tank of gas, a scowling ghost, and floor mats. Wait, what?

WIKTOBER: Open for Submissions. by wildelydawn

Chay runs an annual fic fest for WIK, a popular singer. Kim, a lurker in his own fandom, becomes an admin. (WIP)

Wikubus by AirgiodSLV

Chay knows that summoning a demon is a bad idea. He knows, okay? There are countless media depictions of what happens when someone decides to bargain with their soul. It never ends well. It's just... There have been a lot of rumors popping up lately in the fan spaces Chay frequents. Comments that suggest Chay's pop music idol Wik might secretly be a demon. Specifically, an incubus.

KIMPORSCHE

Bruises on both my knees by Lorio

So you're a tough guy Like it really rough guy Just can't get enough guy Chest always so puffed guy I'm that bad type

TANKHUNCHAY

and my mind came rushing in by filigreesails

Tankhun has never been kissed. He's fine with that - prefers it that way, even. IT's not as if there are many people out there who could meet his eye-wateringly high standards, anyway. So it's fine. Obviously. At least, until Chay comes to him with a proposition, and the prospect of changing the status quo suddenly becomes a lot less hypothetical

[skyfallslayer]

Should We Stay or Should We Go? || Chapter One

-A ST Rewrite Feat. Steve Harrington x Henderson!OFC-

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist

🎲Summary: On the night of November 6th, 1983, Stephanie Henderson decided to walk her little brother’s friend, Will, back home. However… they never arrive. Now, Dustin, Mike and Lucas, and soon the exception of the girl’s ex-best friend, Steve, must band together to find out what happened. Meanwhile, Steph and Will must fight for their survival in this nightmarish version of Hawkins, Indiana.

🎲Chapter Summary: On his way home from a friend’s house, young Will and his best friend’s sister, Stephanie, sees something terrifying. Nearby, their loved ones start worrying hysterically, all while Steve hears some unsettling news.

🎲Pairings: Will x Platonic!OFC; Dustin x Sister!OC; Slow burn! Steve x Henderson!OFC (Ex-bestfriends to Lovers); Slow burn! Byler

🎲Rating: Teen-Mature

🎲Word Count: 9,471

🎲Date: 3/12

🎲Warnings: Angst; Swearing; Implied Broken Friendship; Racist Comment; Talks of Kidnapping; Car Crash; Mental Strain/Breaking Down; Implying to Sex; Lying; Suicide Comment; Homophobic Comment/Calling A Person A Derogatory Word; Implied Death; Steve's 'Asshole Era. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

(And let me know if I missed anything)

🎲A/N: Here we go folks. The official rewrite of episode one. Can't say it's perfect, might be a little messy, but think of it as it setting the whole plot up. Anyway, stay safe, and enjoy!

“It was a seven.” The words fell from his lips that would predestine this night. On the chilly night of November 6th, 1983, the small group of friends had gotten together to play their weekly game of DnD that was cut long short for being on a school night. Two of the boys had rode off on their bikes, away from the host’s house as the young brunette told his friend the truth.

The boy of the house, Mike Wheeler, turned his head, confusion on his face. “Huh?”

“The roll, it was a seven.” The brunette, Will Byers, replies, a frown on his face. “The Demogorgon, it got me.” He kicks the stand off and starts riding. “See you tomorrow.”

As his words lingered in the air, the garage lights flickered on and off that was forgotten with a shrug. 

Young Will catches up quickly with the other boys, Lucas Sinclair and Dustin Henderson. The wind in their eyes and smiles on their faces, they continued to ride for many blocks, slowly coming unwind.

“Good night, ladies.” Lucas teased as he broke from the group for his driveway.

“Kiss your mom ‘night for me.” Dustin quips back, before facing the other boy. “Race you back to my place? Winner gets whatever my sister brings home this time.”

Will’s eyes light up from that. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Dustin says, not expecting for his opponent to take off immediately. 

“Hey! Hey! I didn’t say ‘go’! Get back here!” But as he says that, he knows there was no stopping his friend. “I’m gonna kill you!”

Will chuckled and shouted, “Bring it to school tomorrow!”

Dustin hits the breaks, out of breath and frustrated as he replies, “Son of a bitch…” Meanwhile, his friend pretended he didn’t hear that as he rode down the street they dubbed ‘Mirkwood’.

Yes, he lived the farthest away from… anything really; His friends’ houses, his school, the nearby strip mall, pretty much everything that was ‘useful’, But he didn’t mind it. As long as his family was happy with their place he could go along with it.

So Will continued to ride, in his own head that was causing him to ignore when his headlight flickered off and on until his bike chain magically came apart. 

The boy gasped and swerved in a jagged line, worriedness on his features as he used his feet to forcefully come to a complete halt. Stopping along the side of the road, he looked down, trying to figure out what the problem was. While doing so, he didn’t even notice a car had slowed and rolled its window down.

“Will?” The person in the vehicle said, catching him by surprise. 

He was met with a familiar face, the fair skin, freckled nose, and dark curls tied back in a small pony was a girl he practically grew up with. Ironically, she was the older sister of the boy he raced, Stephanie Henderson.

“Steph?” He said, still shocked as he watched her get out. Those bright blue eyes of hers trailed to his only transportation and frowned.

“What happened to your bike?” 

“Uh, chain broke. I think.” Will says, looking at it again, and then back at her. “You’re coming home late.”

“You’ll understand when you have a job and a crappy boss.” She smiles, softly. “Come on. Put your bike in the car and I’ll drive you.”

“What?” He looks at her in disbelief. “Are you sure? You came that direction.”

“You know I don’t mind. Besides, it’s quicker and safer than walking. Plus I’m sure your brother and mother would appreciate it.” She says, opening the back door.

“But what about your mom?”

“I called her already and told her that I’ll be a little late.” She gestures to the car. “Come on.” He smiles and puts the bike in before hopping in the passenger seat. She even spoils him by handing him a paper brown bag. “Cinnamon bun?”

His eyes light up. “Actually, Dustin betted me that if I beat him in a race back to his house I can have whatever you bring.”

“Then I guess they’re all yours.” She turns the car around. “So how was your campaign?”

“It was good until the end.” He takes a bite of the pastry. “I ended up getting beaten by the Demogorgon.”

“Remind me what that is again?”

“He’s a two headed demon prince. Very evil.”

“I see.”

Another bite and a small hum. “You should try playing it.”

She raises an eyebrow. “You think?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun!” Now he was like a kid in a candy store. “You can be… our mage! A druid, or maybe even a ranger.”

She chuckles quietly. “I… have no idea what any of that even means. But uh… I’ll give it a shot. What’s the worst that can happen? I hate it?”

“Or you get eaten by a Demogorgon.”

“That’s true.” Steph agreed, and continued their light conversation until something strange started to happen. She watches as her headlights suddenly start to flicker. “What the?”

“Look out!” Will yelled, and her eyes snapped back up just in time to spot the bizarre looking figure in the road. 

She gasps and veers off the road, foot slamming into the brakes as it rolled down and down into the woods, crashing into a tree. Now, it wasn’t that bad of a hit, more like a little thump, but still. A crash is a crash.

Stephanie lets out a pant, tiling her baseball cap back up to look worriedly towards her passenger. “Shit! You okay?”

“Uh…” He nods, a little shaken up, but looking unharmed. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Another pant and she looks around. “Who that fuck was that?!” She snaps, upset. “Who the fuck stands in the middle of the road at nine o’clock at night?!”

But as she was having her meltdown, Will was staring at the side mirror and paled. “Steph?” He says, terrified.

“What?”

“I think he’s coming.”

“What?” She followed his eyes to the mirror before turning around. Standing behind them a few feet away was the figure who made her heart sink at its unnaturally long arms, and fingers coming at a point. Now she starts pales. “That’s not a person.”

“Huh?”

She starts fiddling with the door. “Get out of– Get out of the car, now!”

Once they were both out, she snags him by the wrist and pulls him along, running as fast as they could, a few miles down, all the way back to what their destination was. As soon as they stepped a foot inside the Byers home, the family’s dog, Chester, started barking defensively as she told the boy to lock the door.

“Mom? Jonathan? Mom?!” He replies after finishing the task, but alas it seems like they were the only ones home.

“Ms. Byers?!” Steph yells out, biting her lip. “Shit.” She runs for the phone as he looks out a window and sees the figure approaching the house. She tries dialing 911, but all she receives on the other end is static. “What the fuck?!”

“It’s unlocking the chain!” Will yells, backing away as she takes a look. Sure enough, they watched the chain on the door slide itself across the track as the other locks started to turn (What in the fresh hell is going on?!).

“Come on!” She pulls him away, thinking the only thing they can do is protect themselves now. 

They both run into the shed in the back, Will remembering what his mother had told him if something to this degree started happening, and begins loading the shotgun on the wall. 

“Is that all you got?” She asked, searching around for anything else she could use.

“Y-Yeah.” He mutters, and frantically points the weapon at the door, trembling as the girl stood behind him, hands over his and shielding his body protectively.

“If that thing comes in, shoot it. I’ll hold you steady so you don’t fall back.” She says, and he nods (His body subconsciously pressing into hers out of fear and comfort).

But the next few moments were tedtious, hearing that thing growling, which got louder and louder, until it sounded like it was right next to them. Steph, who felt the wind get knocked out of her, was the first to turn around, eyes widened as she kept the boy behind her, feeling him clench her jacket. 

“What the fuck are you?!” She screamed, the growling turning into screeching. 

Then the light in the shed gets brighter and brighter– Until everything suddenly stops.

Then…

.

.

.

There was no one left.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

As soon as the sun touched his face, the boy reached over and shut his alarm clock off before it could even ring. Groaning and stretching, he was feeling extremely exhausted after being up so late (But last night was so fun, it was totally worth it!). Grinning a toothless grin, Dustin rolled out of bed, his clothes in hand as he strolls to the end of the hall for the bathroom. However–

He lets out a sigh and throws his head back at the door being closed. “Oh, my god. Phanie! I told you I needed to use the bathroom first on school days.” Seriously, how many times has he told his sister this? He doesn’t get a reply, and bangs on the door. “Phanie!! Are you listening?”

And on the last knock, to his surprise, the door creaked open. Being cautious, he poked his head inside finding the light was off and the room was unoccupied. 

“Huh.” He said, looking around again. “Okay…” He quickly gets ready for the day, fixing his curls so his hat stays on, before adventuring back out. “Goodbye, sleepyhead!”

And once again, Dustin was shocked to find that now his sister’s room was unoccupied as well. The only thing present was their cat, Mews, who was curled up in a ball on the still perfectly made bed… with everything on it still looking the same in place.

What the? He thought, before heading for the kitchen where his mother was listening to the news.

// -And that’s it for News Center this morning. Thanks for joining us. Let’s hand off now to Liz at the news desk //

// All right, thank you, Donna. Turning now to local news, we’re getting reports of surges and power outages all across the county. Last night, hundreds of homes in East Hawkins were affected, leaving many residents in the dark. The cause of the outage is still unknown. We reached out to Roane County Water and Electric, and a spokesperson says that they are confident power will be restored to all remaining homes within the next– //

“Hey, mom, have you seen Stephanie?” He asked, ignoring the fact his mother was making him his favorite breakfast meal.

“Stephanie?” His mother, Claudia, asked as she slid him a plate. “No, I haven’t.”

“She’s not in her room.” He replies, taking a seat, thinking. “Did you see her come home last night?”

“Well, she did call me saying that she was going to be late, but I’ll admit, I dozed off before I heard her come in.” She notices her son’s worried expression, and smiles. “Oh, don’t worry, Dusty-buns. I’m sure she had to just pick up a friend for school. I can drive you.”

“No, I can bike, I just…” He trails off, not really hungry anymore. We always eat together.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Meanwhile, in another household. Joyce Byers was rummaging around her living room for her keys, cursing under her breath after every failed attempt.

“Where the hell are they?” She sighs. “Jonathan?”

“Check the couch!” Her oldest child said from the kitchen.

“Ugh, I did.” She moves the cushions around again, finally spotting them. “Oh, got them.” She smiles and comes over to give him a pat on the shoulder. “Okay, sweetie, I will see you tonight.”

“Yeah, see you later.” He says, finishing up the eggs.

“Where’s Will?”

“Oh, I didn’t get him up yet. He’s probably still sleeping.”

Joyce sighs, already leaving the room. “Jonathan, you have to make sure he’s up!”

“Mom, I’m making breakfast.”

“I told you this a thousand times. Will!” She claps her hands. “Come on, honey. It’s time to get up.” She pushes open his door only to find that his bed was empty. “He came home last night, right?”

Jonathan’s heart sank as he faced his mother. “He’s not in his room?

“Did he come home or not?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“No. I-I got home late. I was working.”

She gives her son ‘the look’. “You were working?”

“Eric asked if I could cover. I said yeah. I just thought we could use the extra cash.”

“Jonathan, we’ve talked about this.”

He frowns, looking away. “I know…”

“You can’t take shifts when I’m working.” She says, wheels turning in her head at where he could be.

“Mom, it’s not a big deal.” He makes eye contact again. “Look, he was at the Wheelers’ all day. I’m sure he just stayed over.”

“I can’t believe you.” She says, already grabbing the phone. “I can’t believe you sometimes.” She starts dialing the phone number she knows by heart and waits.

[ ‘Hello?’ ]

“Hi, Karen. It’s Joyce.”

[ ‘Oh, Joyce, hi.’ ]

Before Joyce could ask, she hears a ruckus in the background.

[ ‘Quiet!’ ]

“Was that Will I heard back there?” She asked, hopefully.

[ ‘Will? No, no, no, it’s just Mike.’ ]

“Will didn’t spend the night?”

[ ‘No, he left here a little bit after 8:00. Why? He’s not home?’] 

Joyce tries to keep the panic off her face as she replies, “Um, you know what? I think he just left early for... for school. Thank you so much.”

[ ‘Okay.’ ]

“Bye.”

[ ‘Bye.’ ]

Joyce hangs up the phone, exchanging concerned glances with her eldest child.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Three out of the four boys rode to school that morning, chattering away about a certain person that’ll only end in sadness. Frowning as they slowed down to their usual bike rack that laid empty before them.

“That’s weird. I don’t see him.” Mike said, noticing the absent bike. Did he park somewhere else this time?

“I’m telling you, his mom’s right.” Lucas said, trying to be the reasonable one. “He probably just went to class early again. You know he’s always paranoid that Gursky’s gonna give him another pop quiz.”

“That’s true.”

“Yeah… pop quiz...” Dustin mumbled, being completely distant from the group. 

Lucas sighs, rolling his eyes. “Dude, you still worried about your sister?” 

“Well, yeah! I mean, why was she not home? We always eat breakfast with each other, how could she just skip out on it?”

“She’s sixteen, you know? You’re just overreacting. I’m sure Steph is fine.”

“I don’t man, this ain’t like her.”

“Dustin–”

“Step right up, ladies and gentlemen!” A bully, named Troy, announced as he came over with another boy. “Step right up and get your tickets for the freak show.” He smirks. “Who do you think would make more money in a freak show?” He pushes Lucas first. “Midnight–” Then Mike. “Frogface–” Then Dustin. “Or Toothless?”

The other bully, James, looks pensive for a moment before making his decision with a point. “I’d go with Toothless.”

Dustin’s cheeks flush out of embarrassment. “I told you a million times, my teeth are coming in. It’s called cleidocranial dysplasia.”

“‘I told you a million times’.” James mocks, and laughs. 

“Do the arm thing.” Troy pressures, as Dustin takes a small step back.

“Do it, freak!” Deciding to just comply, Dustin cracks his arms with his collar bone, making him and Troy groan and recoil. “God, it gets me every time.”

Then the two of them push through the boys as they leave for class; The trio sending them a death glare.

“Assholes.” Luca scoffed.

“I think it’s kinda cool.” Mike said, trying to cheer Dustin up. “It’s like you have superpowers or something. Like Mr. Fantastic.”

Dustin chuckles. “Yeah, except I can’t fight evil with it.”

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Meanwhile, in the high school next door, Mike’s older sister was hustling inside, books in hand, acting all flustered. It especially didn’t help when her friend came over, grinning like the Chester Cat.

“So, did he call? The ginger girl, Barb, asked all giggly.

The sister, Nancy, shushes her looking around. “Keep your voice down.”

She nudges her with her elbow. “Did he?”

“I told you, it’s not like that.” Nancy blushes harder when Barb gave her a look. “Okay, I mean, yes, he likes me, but not like that. We just made out a couple times.

Barb raises an eyebrow. “‘We just made out a couple times’. Nance, seriously, you’re gonna be so cool now, it’s ridiculous.”

“No, I’m not.” She shakes her head while unlocking her locker.

“You better still hang out with me, that’s all I’m saying. If you become friends with Tommy H. or Carol–”

“Oh, that’s gross!”

“I’m just saying, you better still be friends with me. I heard that the King pushed a close friend out of his circle when he took the throne and–”

“Okay, I’m telling you, it was a one-time... two-time thing.”

She opens her locker, finding a note that read: MEET ME IN BATHROOM -STEVE.

Barb’s expression grew. “You were saying?”

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Before you know it, Nancy is having a make out session with the highschool’s King, Steve “The Hair” Harrington. The cocky bad boy that every girl fawns over, and the physic that every guy envies. If you wanted any kind of popularity while running around this place, you had to make a guarantee that he would be in your corner.

“Steve.” Nancy croaked in between kisses, making him hum. “I have to go.”

“In a minute.” He mumbled, nibbling at her neck as the school bell rings.

“Steve–” She nudged her way out from him. “I really, like seriously, I have to go.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Let’s…” He snags her bag, keeping her in place for a second. “Come on, let’s do something tonight, yeah?”

“No, I can’t. I have to study for Kaminsky’s test.”

“Oh, come on. What’s your GPA again? 3.999–”

“Kaminsky’s tests are impossible.”

“Well, then, just let me help.” He said, smirking.

She rolls her eyes with a smile. “You failed chem.”

“C-minus.”

“Well, in that case–”

“So I’ll be over around, say, like, 8:00?”

“Are you crazy?” Nancy shakes her head. “My mom would not–”

“I’ll climb through your window.” He insisted, all pumped up at the idea. “She won’t even know I’m there. I’m stealthy, like a ninja.”

“You are crazy.” She says, taking her bag back and starts leaving. 

“Wait, wait, wait. Just…” He steps in front of her. “Okay, forget about that. We can just– We can just, like, chill in my car. We can find a nice quiet place to park, and–”

“Steve, I have to study. I’m not kidding.”

“Well, why do you think I want it to be nice and quiet?”

That got her to crack another smile. “You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington.” She replies, stepping around him. “Meet me at Dearborn and Maple at 8:00. To study.”

The school bell rings again, leaving behind a very satisfied teen.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

“Alright, class, I’ll be your sub for today.” The man explains, writing his name on the board. “I’m Mr. Dunwoody. If you have any questions, please refrain before I take attendance.” He ignores as some of the ‘cool kids’ snickered under their breaths and chuck paper balls around. “Uh, Barkley?”

“Here.”

“Brown?”

“Here.”

“Byers?” No reply. “Jonathan Byers?” He scopes the room, the seat in the back corner was absent. “No Byers. M’kay, uh, Davidson?”

“Present.”

“Evans?”

“Here.”

“Eubank?”

“Here.”

“Henderson.” No reply, he looks around – Yet another seat in the back unattended (And certain eyes following). “Henderson? Is a… Stephanie Henderson in?” His gaze shifts with the class’ and frowns. “No, okay. Uh, Harrington?” Silence. “Harrington?”

Steve blinks and faces forward, snapping out of his trace. “Uh, present.”

“‘Kay, uh–” He started shooting off more names, but the teenager wasn’t honestly listening. Something about that empty space (the space that seemed so far away now) didn’t sit right with him. And the gossiping in the background wasn’t helping his troubled mind either.

“Maybe grunge girl finally got the hint.” 

“Oh, yeah. For sure.” 

“Do you think the pressure made her drop out?”

“Drop out?” A laugh. “Maybe she took a dive off the overpass.”

“Guess we’ll have to check the news later for that!”

They laughed under their breaths and Steve’s hands started subconsciously squeezing his crossed arms. This shouldn’t bother him. It’s not like they’re–

He didn’t even realize he was turning around to say something if it was for Tommy’s hand snagging his shoulder. It, and he’s not sure if he can admit, hurt in a way he can’t describe. They both locked eyes, and Tommy shook his head ‘no’ just as the substitute finished calling out names, starting the soulless class.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

As usual the town’s head sheriff was strolling into his job late and looking like he’d been hit by truck after truck. His five o’clock shadow was strong and so were the bags under his eyes; Jim Hopper walks in with a lit cigarette in his hand, the receptionist amazed by his appearance.

“Good of you to show.” She said, as he passed by and gave a small nod to the other officers present.

“Oh, hey, morning, Flo. Morning, everybody.” He says, heading for the small kitchenette to pour himself some coffee.

“Hey, Chief.” Powell greeted with a grin.

“Damn! You look like hell, Chief.” Callahan replies, looking up from his game of cards.

“Oh, yeah?” Hopper spares him a look.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I looked better than your wife when I left her this morning.” His response made his brothers bust a gut as the elderly woman came over, trying to get his attention.

“While you were drinking or sleeping, or whatever it is you deemed so necessary on Monday morning, Phil Larson called. Said some kids are stealing the gnomes out of his garden again.” Flo explains, as he tries not to roll his eyes (or maybe he did?).

“Oh, those garden gnomes again.” He sighs, and picks up a donut too. “Well, I’ll tell you what, I’m gonna get right on that.”

Flo keeps a straight face, used to his antics by now. “On a more pressing matter, Joyce Byers can’t find her son this morning.”

He hums after taking a bite of the pastry. “Okay, I’m gonna get on that.” He starts walking away. “Just give me a minute.”

“Joyce is very upset.” She pushes, as he shakes his head.

“Well, Flo– Flo, we’ve discussed this. Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.”

“Chief, she’s already in your–”

“Coffee and contemplation, Flo!” He shouts as he leaves the room, and, due to not paying attention, is surprised to see Ms. Byers already waiting in his office. His jaw clenched. “Okay… Missing? I’ve been told.”

“Yes, missing!” Joyce says, watching him sit down and start typewriting a file out for her boy. Worriedly she waits for him to finish, even smoking bud after bud to calm the jitters. “I have been waiting here over an hour, Hopper.”

“And I apologize.” He says, trying to calm her.

“I’m going out of my mind!”

“Look, boy his age, he’s probably just playing hooky, okay?”

She shakes her head. “No, not my Will. He’s not like that– He wouldn’t do that.”

“Well, you never know.” He suggests, a little smirk growing on his lips. “I mean, my mom thought I was on the debate team, when really I was just screwing Chrissy Carpenter in the back of my dad’s Oldsmobile, so–”

“Look, he’s not like you, Hopper. He’s not like me. He’s not like most.” She explains, her face saddening. “He has a couple of friends, but, you know, the kids, they’re mean. They make fun of him. They call him names. They laugh at him, his clothes–”

“His clothes?” Hopper’s eyebrows shoot up. “What’s wrong with his clothes?”

“I don’t know. Does that matter?”

“Maybe.”

Joyce inhales deeply. “Look, he’s... He’s a sensitive kid. Lonnie…” God she could punch that man right now. “Lonnie used to say he was queer. Called him a fag.”

Another eyebrow raise. “Is he?”

“He’s missing! Is what he is.” 

“When was the last time you heard from Lonnie?”

“Uh, last I heard, he was in Indianapolis. That was about a year ago. But he has nothing to do with this.”

“Why don’t you give me his number?”

“You know, Hopper, he has nothing to do with this. Trust me.”

Hopper’s body straightens, hands coming to rest on his desk to make sure she was listening. “Joyce, 99 out of 100 times, kid goes missing, the kid is with a parent or relative.”

Her eyes widened. “What about the other time?”

He blinks. “What?”

“You said, ‘99 out of 100’. What about the other time, the one?”

“Joyce.”

“The one!”

Hopper tries to deescalate again. “Joyce, this is Hawkins, okay? You wanna know the worst thing that’s ever happened here in the four years I’ve been working here?” He could hold back a small smile. “Do you wanna know the worst thing? It was when an owl attacked Eleanor Gillespie’s head because it thought that her hair was a nest.”

Joyce sighs. “Okay, fine. I will call Lonnie. He will talk to me before he talks to–”

“What, a pig?”

“A cop! Just find my son, Hop. Find him!”

And then came a knock on the doorframe, which happened to be Flo who looked apologetic this time.

“Chief, I’m sorry, I have another hectic parent. A Ms. Claudia Henderson is here to see you.”

“What?” Hopper said, and just before he could blink, a blonde woman came stumbling in, all nervous just like someone else in present.

“Hopper, I’m sorry if you’re busy, but–”

“Claudia?” Joyce said, standing up with surprise. 

“Joyce?” Claudia’s face washes over with relief upon seeing her. “What brings you here?”

“It’s Will, I can’t find him.” She says, missing the way the other woman’s face lost all color. “And apparently he didn’t go to school either.”

“Well, what a coincidence. I can’t find my daughter, either.”

And then all eyes are now on the police Chief who was dumbfounded this was all happening at once. After a moment, he sighed and pulled Will’s form out of the typewriter before sliding in a new piece of paper.

“Alright.” He gestures to the chair. “Let’s hear your story.”

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

And then that’s how the police chief found himself at a middle school. His first “suspects” in this case was Will’s inner circle of friends. But what he wasn’t expecting while sitting in the principal’s office was the trio to be talking over one another frantically.

“Okay, okay, okay.” Hopper says, waving for them to stop which they did. “One at a time, all right?” He points to Mike. “You. You said he takes what?”

“Mirkwood.” Mike said, confusing him.

“Mirkwood?”

“Yeah.”

Hopper sighs, looking at his partner. “Have you ever heard of Mirkwood?”

“I have not.” Callahan shakes his head. “That sounds made up to me.”

“No, it’s from Lord of the Rings.” Lucas says, offended.

“Well, The Hobbit.” Dustin pushes as his friend rolls his eyes.

“Who cares?”

“He asked!”

“‘He asked’!” Lucas mocked which started their bickering again.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Hopper yells, getting to stop once more. “What’d I just say? One at a damn time.” He points to Mike again. “You.”

“Mirkwood, it’s a real road. It’s just the name that’s made up. It’s where Cornwallis and Kerley meet.” Mike explains, giving the Chief a picture now.

“Yeah, all right, I think I know that.”

“We can show you, if you want.” The boy replies, his friends agreeing with him immediately. 

Hopper shakes his head. “I said that I know it!”

“We can help look.” Mike pleads.

“Yeah.” Dustin encouraged.

“No.” The boys try to protest, but he shuts it down again. “No. After school, you are all to go home. Immediately. That means no biking around looking for your friend, no investigating, no nonsense. This isn’t some Lord of the Rings book.”

“The Hobbit.” Dustin mumbles, quietly.

“Shut up!” Lucas said, elbowing him.

“Hey!”

“Stop it!” Hopper snaps, while standing up. “Do I make myself clear?” He gets no answer. “Do I make myself clear?”

Mike nods. “Yes, sir.”

“Good.” He faces the principal. “Sir, thank you for your time.”

“Wait!” Dustin cuts in, and makes the man groan.

“What?”

“What about my sister? You mentioned her earlier. What about her?”

“Kid, listen, your sister’s sixteen, and to be honest, I believe a teenager playing hooky more than your friend Will. Okay?” Hopper tried to leave again, but the kid wasn’t letting up.

“But Stephanie’s not like that! I mean, yeah, she doesn’t necessarily like school, but she always studies hard to get good grades. She’s a good noodle.” Dustin frowns worriedly. “Trust me, she would never skip school. I mean… did you even check the parking lot to see if her car was there? Or the mall that she works at?”

I guess… the kid did have a point, Hopper will admit that one. He locks eyes with his partner who shrugs.

“I mean, we might as well kill two birds with one stone while we’re here.” Callahan says, truthfully.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Hopper sighs. “Okay. So Dustin, did your sister have any… friends we could talk to?” Then they got quiet, looking amongst themselves. “What? No? She didn’t? Or–?”

“Well, not really.” Dustin admits, bittersweet. “I mean, she probably hangs out with us more than anything at this point.”

“I mean, she’s friends with that douchebag Steve.” Lucas said, upset.

“Was friends. Not anymore.” Mike clarifies.

“Was a friend?” Hopper asked, skeptical. “What happened?”

“Not sure. They were inseparable until one day they just… weren’t.” Dustin replies, which was the truth. He remembers seeing Steve around a few times as he grew up, but then one day his sister stopped going out and didn’t even mention him anymore. Then before he knew it, he witnessed first hand the boy’s ‘asshole’ attitude (Makes him glad that she wasn’t around him anymore).

“Okay, then. What’s his name?”

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

“Steve Harrington.” 

Steve stopped himself from getting into his BMW to look who was calling him out. To his shock he found two police officers in his presence, and immediately felt sick.

“Um, can I help you, officers?” He asked, paying no heed to the passing stares from other students.

“I’m officer Hopper, this is my partner Callahan. We just want to ask you a few questions.” Hopper explains, as the teenager nods.

“Am I in trouble?”

“No, son. As long as you comply.”

“Okay.”

“Alright then, do you know a girl by the name of Stephanie Henderson?”

His heart sank again like earlier. “Stephanie?” Steve asked, his throat feeling tight (Why was his throat closing up?).

“Yeah. We were told by her brother that you guys used to be friends. Is that true?”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“Have you spoken to her recently? Seen her?” Hopper asked, getting a shake of his head.

“Seen her? Yeah, I mean I see her everyday, we’re in the same classes, but I didn’t see her today.” Steve shifts his weight around on his feet. “As for talking, I haven’t spoken to her in years.”

“So you haven’t had any real contact with her?”

“No, sir.” Steve watches the two adults exchange glances which pique his interest. “May I ask what’s going on with her? Is she in trouble?”

“Not necessarily trouble, I would say. Her mom came down by the station earlier and reported her missing, saying she didn’t see her in the morning and when they called the school she wasn’t there.”

“If I’m being honest, son, she’s a teenager, she probably just wanted some time alone.” Callahan replies, with a half shrug. “Besides, everyone knows her mother’s a bit… out there. She tends to overreact.”

“There’s nothing for you to worry about, Mr. Harrington. We appreciate your time.” Hopper replies, bidding him a farewell as he begins to leave (but this wasn’t sitting right with the boy’s stomach).

“She never misses her classes though.” Steve blurts out, getting their attention. “Even now, even if we aren’t friends, I notice she never misses school. It’s completely out of her character.”

It really is though. Steve waited until the officers processed his comment, before nodding.

“Noted.” Was all Hopper said and they left, leaving him high and dry, wondering what was truly going on. He was so stuck in his head he didn’t even notice Tommy and Carol making their way towards him.

“Oooh, looks like someone’s in trouble.” Tommy coos, with a grin.

“What did you do, Harrington? Slash Tammy Thompson’s tires finally?” Carol asked, making herself laugh.

But Steve didn’t find this funny, instead his attention was turned back to climbing in the passenger seat. “I gotta go home.”

“What?” Tommy said, caught off guard.

“I gotta go home.”

“What? But you said we were going to the movies?”

“Maybe tomorrow I–” He couldn’t even think straight. “I’m sorry. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He shuts his car door as his name is being called, and quickly pulls away.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Along the Mirkwood road, the three officers were paneling out, surveying the area. Everyone was shouting Will’s name, except Hopper who nerves were shooting through the roof; So much so, he had to stop and pop a pill. These kinds of situations, especially evolving children, were hard for him to deal with. It reminded him too much of his own–

Wait a minute. Were his eyes deceiving him? Does actually see this or was this another one of his episodes? 

But after triple checking, he finally calls the others forward. “Hey! I think I got something.”

He steps off the room, jogging a few feet into the woods. If it wasn’t for the daylight, he surely would have missed a huge clue that was being covered by a few shrubs and ankle deep piles of autumn leaves. Smashed into one of the sweet gum trees was a car, windshield cracked and lightly powdered in stray branches.

“I don’t remember hearing anything about crashes this morning.” Powell said, confused as he examined it. 

Hopper’s keen eyes also caught something lying in the backseat and pulled it out. He frowns, his nerves spiking again. “This is Will’s bike.”

“His bike?” Powell asked, suspicious now. “You don’t think this was uh… a kidnapping?”

“It’s possible. But it doesn’t explain why the kidnapper would crash and abandon the car. Then leave evidence of the child behind.”

“Now, what a second.” Callahan said, perking up. “This is a 1975 Tan Ford Granada, the same car that Ms. Henderson said her daughter drives.”

Hopper’s eyes widen as he sets the bike down. “She also said that her daughter had a Journey keychain.” He opens the driver door, and sure enough, still in the dead ignition, there was a little band keychain dangling off her car key. “Shit.” He locks eyes with his partners. “Which way is the mall?”

Powell pointed in the direction that he feared the most. It was in the same direction the Byers’ house was. Now it was starting to make sense. 

“What are you thinking, Chief?” 

Hopper frowns. “Well, if you look at the bike, the chain’s broken. My guess, Stephanie was driving by and saw him on the side of the road, and offered him a ride home.”

“Then how do you explain the car being off road?”

He sighs, dreading for the answer (both in a good and a bad way). “I’m not sure.”

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Saying Joyce Byers was livid was probably not a strong enough word after being hung up on so many times. Why, out of the times she actually needed to talk to her ex-husband, he doesn’t answer the phone?! She could pull all her hair out from that man. No wonder they were divorced since he frustrates her so–

“Mom?” Jonathan said, standing up from the couch (He was currently making missing child signs for his brother).

“What?” 

“Cops.” Sure enough, they saw many cop cars pull up, including a tow truck with a car none of them recognize. 

“Is that his bike?” Joyce said, worriedly once she was outside. “And who’s car is that?”

“We found this in Stephanie Henderson’s car.” Hopper replies, sitting the bike down. 

“Stephanie’s car?” Jonathan said, surprised. Well, I guess he shouldn’t be that surprise, ‘cause although they’re not exactly friends as one thinks they might be, given the situation, he knows her enough that she’s the type of girl to give you the shirt off her back if you need it.

“Our best guess right now is that she saw him on the side of the road and offered to drive him back. It makes sense since her mother told us Stephanie called to let her know she’ll be running late from work. And given the time stamp Will’s friends provided us, them crossing paths match up.”

“But that still doesn’t explain everything!” Joyce says, trying to piece this together. “Where did you find her car?”

He sighs quietly. “Down off the road, into the forest.” He starts walking away, motioning for his men to follow him. “Split up, fellas.” He said, once they were inside.

“Did it have any blood on it? Or– or what was the condition of the car? Did it slide off the road?” Joyce asked as she followed him around. “And why are you here instead of looking?”

“Well, he had a key to the house, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So maybe he came home. Maybe they both came home.”

Joyce scoffs, stepping in front of him. “You think I didn’t check my own house?”

“I’m not saying that.” He says, eyes trailing away upon catching something else. “Has this always been here?” He walked over and pointed to an indent in the wall.

“What? I don’t know. Probably. I mean, I have two boys. Look at this place.”

He suddenly opens the door to the backyard, the doorknob trailing directly to the spot of the mini hole. “You’re not sure?” He’s about to question it some more when the dog suddenly starts barking. He heads outside, finding Chester angrily staring down the shed. “Hey, what’s up with this guy, huh?”

“Nothing, he’s probably just hungry.” Joyce said, after following him out. She sighs and drags the dog by the collar. “Come on.”

But as they left, Hopper’s gaze was focused on the shed. Why was the dog so wound up from that place? Treading carefully, he goes inside, flipping the lightswitch on that buzzed lightly above. His eyes scaled the room, immediately noticing something. His fingers wrapped around the box full of shotgun shells, realizing it was half empty.

Empty? He thought, setting it down and heading for where the weapon would be stored. But the two hooks screwed into the wall were bare, and to a shock, when his fingers brushed where it should be, the light suddenly shut itself off.

Out of instinct his hand latched around a flashlight nearby, turning it on. He turned the light towards the door, wondering if someone was just screwing with him but… no one. 

Okay… not creepy at all. He trailed it around, looking closely, nothing making him want to stand on his toes until he decided to turn around. That’s when he saw the back half of the shed was a mess, shelves torn off, boxes and objects thrown everywhere, some even being crushed under some kind of weight. Even the hair on the back of his neck stood up when he swears he could hear someone growling.

His heart was beating in his ears as he crouched down, looking around for anything. (Un)Luckily enough, there was no kid laying emotionless in the pile. He frowns, wondering what scared the boy so much that he went to grab a gun. And then–

Something shiny caught his eye.

He reached out and picked it up, a gold chain unraveled, showing off a heart shaped pendant with two initials carved into it. 

S.H.

“Shit.” Hopper whispered, horrified.

“Hey!”

He shot to his feet, turning around to face his brother in blue. “Jesus!”

“What are you, deaf? I’ve been calling you.” Callahan said, before noticing how ill his boss looked. “What’s going on?”

“Fuck…” Hopper mumbled and started racing back outside.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Chief?”

“Listen, I want you to call Flo. I want to get a search party together, all right? All the volunteers she can muster. Bring flashlights, too.”

“Chief?” Callahan stops him before he goes back into the house. “Hey, you think we got a problem here?”

“I don’t think, I know.” Hopper shows off the necklace. “We’re going to the Henderson’s house.”

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Dustin watches with fear as the officers explain the situation on hand about his older sister. His mom of course was hysterical, giving the professionals a challenge to get answers out of her. 

“Oh, who could have hurt my baby? And poor Will too.” Claudia sobbed into her handkerchief. “She’s always so kind to others, of course she would have offered him a ride.”

“Ma’am, I know you’re upset, and we’re sending a search party out as soon as possible. But I just need you to confirm that this is your daughter’s, then we can make this one big old case.” Hoppy explains, trying not to be snappy with his words. “Now–” He shows off the necklace. “Is this your daughter’s?”

Dustin’s eyebrows shot up through the roof. “She still wears that?!” He said, shocking both himself and the officer.

“What?”

“Y-Yes.” Claudia said, nodding. “That’s hers.”

“Thank you.” Hopper says, placing it in her palm. He spins his heels around to Powell. “Let’s go. We got two missing people we’re looking for.” 

“Please find her.” She begged, getting his attention once more. “I can’t lose my only daughter.” But all she gets is a sad nod from him as he leaves, watching as all the cars pull off her driveway in a hurry. She sighs and then gasps when felt her son take the necklace away from her, studying it intensely. “Dusty, why were you so surprised she still wears it?”

“Don’t you remember who gave this to her?” He asked, slightly sour.

“Well, no.”

He sighs, and starts leaving the room. “It’s nothing.” 

And it should stay that way.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Meanwhile, later in the day, a heated discussion was going on at the Wheeler’s house over a nice homemade dinner.

“We should be out there right now. We should be helping look for him.” Mike said for the millionth time tonight, extremely close to igniting the fuse in his own mother.

“We’ve been over this, Mike.” Karen said, drawing her attention away from her toddler. “The chief says–”

“I don’t care what the chief said.”

“Michael!”

“We have to do something! Will can be in danger.”

“More reason to stay put.”

“Mom!”

“End of discussion.” She snapped, silencing her son. But when one bird stops chirping, another one decides to start a tune.

“So me and Barbara are gonna study at her house tonight. That’s cool, right?” Nancy says, not an ask, but that of course gets shot down too.

“No, not cool.”

“What? Why not?”

“Why do you think? Am I speaking Chinese in this house? Until we know Will is okay, no one leaves.”

“This is such bullshit.” Nancy replies, dropping her fork.

“Language.” Ted chimes in, still munching on his food.

“So we’re under house arrest? Just because Mike’s friend got lost on the way home from–”

“Wait, this is Will’s fault?” Mike spat, sending daggers at his sister.

“Nancy, take that back.” Karen warned, as Holly started to get teary eyed.

“No!” Nancy scoffed.

“You’re just pissed off ‘cause you wanna hang out with Steve.” Mike quips, sending the whole room into silence. He swallows when he realizes he messed up (and how his sister looked like she was going to kill him).

“Steve?” Her father asked, finally tuning back in.

“Who is Steve?” Her mother asked, as her son decided to just roll with it anyway.

“Her new boyfriend.”

“You are such a douchebag, Mike!” Nancy yells, throwing the chair back and marching out of the room.

“Language!” Ted says, as Karen sighs.

“Nancy, come back. Come back!” She shakes her head, and cups her youngest cheek. “It’s okay. It’s okay, Holly.” She holds up her sippy cup. “Here, have some juice, okay?”

“You see, Michael? You see what happens?”

“What happens when what?” Mike snaps again, still in disbelief. “I’m the only one acting normal here! I’m the only one that cares about Will!”

“That is really unfair, son. We care.” And now his words drove his son away from the dinner table.

“Mike!” Karen yells after him too.

“Let him go.” Ted encourages, as his wife picks up their child.

“I hope you’re enjoying your chicken, Ted.” She says, then leaves herself.

“What did I do?” He notices he is truly alone now. “What’d I do?”

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Dustin was sitting on his bed, holding his sister’s necklace in his palm. It was a gold color chain with a dark red heart shaped guitar pick. It even had her initials scratched into it. Such a beautiful and expensive gift. However, he still wonders why she even still wears it. Especially since it was gifted by none of other then–

[ ‘Dustin, do you copy? It’s Lucas.’ ]

He perked up from the voice of his friend coming through on his walkie, and scrambled off the bed to his desk. “Lucas. What’s up?”

[ ‘Mike just called me. Says he wants to go out looking for Will.’ ]

“Looking for Will?” He gasps at how perfect this was. “We can look for Phanie too!”

[ ‘Steph? You mean she hasn’t come home yet?’ ]

“No! That’s what I’ve been saying!” Why don’t his friends listen to him sometimes? “So she’s out there, we have to go find her as well!”

[ ‘I mean, we can. But we’re biking over where Will was last–’ ]

“Oh, no. I got that! But…” Dustin frowns. “Wait. You didn’t hear?”

[ ‘Hear what?’ ]

“Oh, my god– Okay! Well, long story short, my sister wasn’t playing hooky like everyone thought.”

[ ‘What do you mean?’ ]

“According to the police, Phanie apparently gave Will a ride home before somewhere along the way, her car ended up in the woods. They found his bike in her car, and even found her necklace at his home. So, Lucas, my sister was with Will! It’s not just Will who’s missing! My sister is too! Together!”

He thought might have exploded his friend’s brain after the long silence he was given.

[ ‘Oh shit…’ ]

“Yeah!”

[ ‘We have to tell Mike this when we meet up. Don’t worry, man, we’ll find her too.’ ]

“And I have faith in us.” Dustin peeks outside his door. “My mom’s watching her shows right now to keep herself distracted. So we have a few hours.”

[ ‘Perfect. See you in ten.’ ]

“See you in ten.” He puts down the antenna, clenching the necklace in his palm. “Don’t worry, sis, we’re going to find you too.”

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

[ ‘I’m sorry.’ ]

He heard her apologize for the millionth time while over the phone. He can imagine her cute little face full of irritation (was that reason to be in love with a person?). 

[ ‘My… dumb mother has me under house arrest until morning.’ ]

“Don’t sweat it, Nance.” He said, leaning against the wall while they talked. “You know… I could always be sneaky like a ninja and–”

[ ‘No, Steve. You know what my parents would do if they caught you?’ ]

He hums. “Um, congratulate me?”

[ ‘Steve.’ ]

Steve laughs. “Alright, alright. I’m joking. Uh–” He runs a hand through his locks. “We could… study over the phone?”

That was a good idea.

Right?

Her silence was making him worry. “Um, Nancy?”

[ ‘Sorry. I was thinking. It’s a tempting offer but… risky. I don’t want my parents eavesdropping.’ ]

“Do they tend to eavesdrop?”

[ ‘Steve!’ ]

“Alright, I’ll stop.”

[ ‘We’ll just see each other tomorrow.’ ]

“Of course we will.” He smiles. “As long as uh… the search for that Byers boy isn’t still going on. Heard they’re grabbing everyone in town.”

[ ‘Yeah. Well, it’s not just for him, l mean they’re looking for the Henderson girl too.’ ]

And there it is again.

The horrible, aching feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“S-Stephanie?” The air got trapped in his lungs (Why was it so hard to breathe?). “I thought Will just went missing?” It was just him, right? There’s no way she went missing too. And at the same time no less. “Right, Nancy?”

[ ‘No. From what it sounds like on the news I just overheard, she gave him a ride home, but her car was found abandoned with his bike in it. So… as of now, we have two people missing.’ ]

Stephanie’s really missing? Once again he’s asking himself that it shouldn’t hurt this much, right? It’s not like they’ve been acquitted in years, so–

[ ‘Steve? You there?’ ]

“Uh, um, N-Nancy I… I think I hear my parents. I… I-I got to go.” He said, slurring his words and could practically feel the strange look she was probably giving him right now.

[ ‘You okay?’ ]

“Y-Yeah. I’m… I’m good, I– I think it’s time for dinner.”

[ ‘Isn’t it kind of late for dinner now?’ ]

“Oh, you know, we Harringtons like to have it late. So, uh, pfff– I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Have fun studying.”

[ ‘Steve–’ ]

He hangs up the phone before she questions him anymore.

It just doesn’t make sense. They’re not friends any more so…

.

.

.

Why does it hurt so much?

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

The rain was coming down like a monsoon. Thunder was starting to rumble, lightning was lingering around waiting to strike. Speaking of waiting… The Byers were on their couch, rummaging through photos that touched their emotions.

“Jonathan, wow. You took these?” Joyce asked, amazed by them. “These are great.” She got her son to crack a smile. “Wow, they really are.” Then came the sniffles again. “I-I know I haven’t been there for you. I’ve been working so hard and… I-I just feel bad. I don’t even barely know what’s going on with you. All right? I am so sorry about that.” And then the sobs started coming from her child. “Hey, what is it? What is it, honey?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“Tell me. Tell me.” Joyce urges, rubbing his forearm. “Come on. You can–”

“No. It’s just…” Jonathan’s blank expression broke. “I s-should’ve been there for him.”

“No. Oh, no. You can’t do that to yourself.” She shakes her own head and gives him a gentle squeeze. “This was not your fault. Do you hear me? He is… close. I know it. I-I feel it in my heart.” She clenches the left side of her chest. “You just have to… You have to trust me on this, okay?”

He nods while leaning into his mother’s touch. “Yeah.”

“Oh, look at this.” She says, picking one where it was just Will and his cute smile. “Look at this one.” It makes them both quietly laugh. “I mean, that’s it, right?”

“Yeah. That’s it.” He smiles sadly. “W-We should… see if Ms. Henderson had any photos of Stephanie. Maybe we can make a poster together.”

Then her whole world gets thrown around when she hears breathing. “Will?” She chokes, eyes widening. “Will? It’s Will!”

“That’s a good idea.” And the phone rings and she shoots off the couch. She prays and prays it’s good news as she yanks the phone off the receiver. “Hello?” She answers, which happened to be nothing but static.

“Hello? Lonnie? Hopper? Who is this?”

Jonathan was by her side in a split second. “Mom, it’s Will?”

“Who is this?!” Joyce screamed when growling came on the other side. “What have you done to my boy? Give me back my son!” And whoever was truly on the other side, replied by shocking her with electricity. She shrieked and threw the phone away, her son picking it up right after.

“Hello? Hello, who is this?” Jonathan asked, the silence making him furiously hit the phone box. “Hello? Who is this?” He finally hangs up, turning towards his hysterical mother. “Mom, who was it? Who was it, Mom?”

“It was him.” She sobbed, as she was taken in his arms.

“Look at me, was it Will?”

“Yes!”

“What did he say?” Jonathan choked, as his mother reached for the phone, hoping they were still connected.

“He just breathed. He just breathed.”

“And was someone else there?”

“I–”

“Mom, who was there? Who was it?”

“It was him…” She wraps her arms around him, knees almost buckling at the emotional exhaustion. “I know it was his breathing. I know it was his breathing.”

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Meanwhile, in the deep depths of the forest, drenched head to toe, the trio was shouting until their lungs hurt, hoping to find any one of their loved ones. 

“Will!” 

“Stephanie!”

“Byers! Henderson!”

“Anyone?!”

Lucas sighs. “Guys, I’m starting to feel like this is hopeless.” 

“Don’t be a big sissy.” Dustin says, getting ‘the look’.

“I’m just being realistic, man.”

“Well, stop being realistic! My sister and Will are missing, and they’re fine.” They have to be. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if they’re–

“Maybe…”

“Lucas!” Mike scolded, getting a shrug.

“What?” Lucas snapped. “I’m just saying. I mean, did any of you ever think Will and Steph went missing because they ran into something bad? And we happened to be going to the exact same spot where they were last seen? And we have no weapons or anything?”

“So?!” Dustin scoffed. “If it was any of us in their place, my sister and Will would be busting their asses trying to find us!”

“Really? How would you know that?”

“I just do!”

“Shut up!” Mike yells, facing them. Their jaws closed and he shushed them quietly. “Shut up and listen.” And then there was a faint sound of rustling. “Do you guys hear that?”

And then the rustling got louder and louder, the boys spinning on their heels and waving their flashlights around for any signs of life. Just as thunder roared and the spotlights moved to another side, that’s when they were practically blinding a person.

Although it was not Will or Stephanie.

It was another child, barefoot and in a shirt that was practically a dress.

Staring in amazed and confusion, the boys weren’t sure what to say except,

“What the hell?”

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

|| THE NIGHT BEFORE ||

The lights flickered back on with an audible gasp. 

She heaved the strange tasting air into her lungs, eyes adjusting to the bright world before it completely went dim, like an eclipse was happening just overhead. Before she could question where she was, she felt someone tug on her jacket and gasp themself.

Stephanie whipped her body around, catching the sight of the young boy who was now having a bit of coughing fit. “Will?” She says, taking the boy by his shoulders, relieved to see him.

“S-Steph?” He choked, taking a moment to look around with his big cocoa eyes. “What just happened?”

Well that was the million dollar question. What actually happened?

She takes a moment to finally look around herself, realizing they were in the… same spot? Yeah… the same spot. They were still inside the shed, still holding the shotgun, but the only difference was no… what can you even call that thing they encountered?

“We’re still in the shed. But it’s…” Will crinkled his button nose at the sight. “Gross.”

Steph swallows, blue orbs landing on the door. “Stay behind me.” She lets herself push open the shed door slowly, heart beating like crazy as she luckily met with no scary creature. She shivered at the sudden drop in temperature. “Jesus, It’s freezing.”

The outside world seemed to be encased in a blue hue, the places around seemed to be tangled with vines and covered in something sticky. There was also a white powder that looked like snow, raining down from the dark skies above. A sky that didn’t even have moonlight like it did a few minutes ago.

Holy shit… She thought, before feeling around her head, worriedly. She then locked eyes with him and asked, “Did you hit your head when we crashed?” He shakes his head, fueling her emotions. So they weren’t dreaming or having a concussion. So what even is this place? 

Where the hell are we? And in the distance…

A creature snarled…

.

.

.

While waiting for his orders from his master beyond.

(TBC)

A/N: 😬🤭🫣

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