#nothing but feel good here tbh
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They're showing him how to play Pokémon ❤️💜❤️💜
[❤️💛 Reblogs are all seen and super appreciated!! Click for higher quality. Tag list + transcript will be under the cut! 💚💜]
Mojo: What beast dares to show itself before me now?
Cherry: Looks like another Weedle. Maybe you can catch this one for your Pokédex?
Mojo: This pathetic worm will rue the day it crossed paths with the might of Mojo.
Cherry: That works too! You're doing great, muffin!♡
Tag List [click here to be added or removed!]
@absentmoon @avas-wonderland @bee-ships @beetleboyfriend @berryshipbasket @canongf @cloudyvoid @derelictdumbass @dissonantyote @edencantstopfallininlove @final-catboy @flabbergasting @flowering-darkness @gibles-lovely-selfships @hirayarts @hoppinkiss @hotrodharts @hyperionshipping @impulse-exe @iwishihadfangs @iyamifucker @lex-n-weegie @lficanthaveloveiwantpower @little-miss-selfships @little-shiny-sharpies @loogi-selfships @mandrakebrew @midoridayz @mintpecks @mothfinite @mrs-kelly @nameless-self-ships @nerdstreak @orbitingaroundyourlove @paper-carnation @qilinkisser @reds-self-ships @rexscanonwife @rotten--cotton @ship-trek @sophisticatedheart @spacestationstorybook @squips-ship @toogayforthistoday @winterworlds
#my art#💜: loving you's a felony#🍒🧬: emotional processing lag#self ship#oc x canon#self ship community#fictional other#mojo jojo#WE'RE SO BACK 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE DOING ART AGAIN WAAAAAAA#i was kinda worried cuz i was trying to practice a few nights ago and nothing was coming out good 😭😭😭😭 BUT HERE WE ARE!!!!!#next piece i make will probably be actually lined cuz lining is definitely my favorite right now 💖💖💖#but i like this as a sketch tbh so here u go!!! :3
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my honest reaction
#once again the trailer just kind of makes me feel nothing but confusion at why theyre doing things the way they are#why is gerald still alive. even if it turns out to be time travel or him being frozen alongside shadow or something#it still takes away a lot of the emotional impact of shadows story ... why .....#the fact that theyre just seemingly having gerald be rouge's replacement in the dark story trio too???? what. thats stupid .#and speaking of rouge. where are rouge and amy. ive never seen a single good argument to justify their exclusion here#why is the only girl character from the games whos present the one who famously dies horribly for male characters' motivation#(to be clear im not saying the way maria's death is handled in the games is bad writing or anything#just that having her be the only girl character to have a movie counterpart is certainly A Choice.)#and. why are team sonic (and human characters associated with them who are supposed to be the good guys) working with gun .#gun literally does nothing but cause problems for sonic in sa2 ?!?!?!??!?!#even if it does turn out theyre not being completely honest with sonic about what shadow's whole deal is thats still. why ...#i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but that doenst mean i have to be okay with every possible change they make either#especially when a lot of this stuff just actively makes the story worse. sa2 im so sorry they did this to you#honestly probably wouldnt bother me quite as much if this was a comic or tv show or something#and not . a big popular movie that is probably going to overshadow the game in a lot of peoples minds. ughhhh#also shadow has still only had a couple lines so maybe its not fair for me to say anything just yet#but i dont . really like how he sounds from what we've heard .. why did the ycast keanu reeves this sucks#idris elba as knuckles is starting to annoy me too tbh . like i didnt care for it at first but then it grew on me#and now im back to not really liking it . that is NOT knuckles#anyway. im honestly struggling to understand how so many fans of the games are uncritically excited about the movie ?#and dont have any problem with the writing choices being made here.. ?#do they just not care how shadow's story is portrayed as long as he looks cool doing it .. ?#im not saiyng the people who are excited are fake fans i just . dont get it
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What a whimsical looking young man I wonder if he has received any job offers recently
Original photo
#my art#project sekai#rui kamishiro#if u saw this get posted before: no u didn’t#forgot to schedule the post for the morning incident 60 dead 600 injured.#i feel obligated 2 say I actually post abt pjsk on my main (apotelesmaa) frequently (I have brain worms)#& I only post on this blog once in a blue moon and it’s usually not serious art atp#so do not expect anything.#curtain call. what an event. love rui he’s such a good character. I hope he explodes.#he is so full of love and so bad at recognizing his emotions and problems.#‘I don’t have any emotional hang ups about anything’ says the guy who has so many emotional hang ups#rationalizing pulling back as safety measures instead of fearing abandonment/concern of hurting tsukasa (or others) again ->#rationalizing accepting asahi’s job offer because it’s the best for his future even if it’s not the best for himself#also tbh I think to some degree u could argue accepting the job offer was his way of getting ahead of being abandoned#not that it would happen and not that he’d recognize that to begin with#negative self awareness king! he is not processing his emotions at all!#would love for him to mention the job offer in a future event. even just offhandedly. shaking him by the shoulders. talk to ur friends moron#me when I’m in a not recognizing what I’m feeling and how it effects me competition and my opponent is rui kamishiro from hit game pjsk#etc etc. anyways.#once again falling into the ‘sure whatever this can go on the art blog’ category#in that I used simultaneously too much effort and very little in creating it#once again: [hope you’re hungry. for NOTHING] dot jpeg. as is typical here at hallowclave dot tumblr dot com.
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can i just be totally honest for just a sec. this past year hasnt been my favorite. it hurt a Lot and i really didnt think id be as happy as i am when the end of the year came around. it was not the best year by far for me. kinda nothing has been Great since i was like 12 honestly. But also i've learned a Lot about myself this year. I've healed, hurt, loved, laughed, everything in between, and will continue to do all that because thats life and im living (!!!!). I'm about to have a birthday that i didnt even think i was going to get to see like 4 years ago so. yeah. happy new year everyone and im really really happy im here <3 thank you all
#camera talks#sorry for getting real for a second LMAO#umhmhm#happy new year <3#im really really glad yall are around and im around#ive had a Lot of struggles this year#(from what i can remember. tbh ive blocked out So So much pain i know im forgetting stuff)#its been bad but i know its been worse. sorta. tbh this hasnt been a good year thinking about it but i dont want to think about it rn so#But i know i didnt think id reach the end of the year like this#im very happy ive gotten here. im so happy ive accomplished everything ive accomplished#and im almost okay with what im going into next year.#its scary but ive got people and support and i can make it through#i feel more loved and safe#and i hope it'll mostly just go up for me in a lot of aspects from here#okay. thx for reading if you read all the way through this :)#i love you guys <33#thank you to the mutuals and followers who have been here since my early days and who have recently showed up#you're all amazing and i wish you nothing but the best <3
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do u ever feel alive but not...
like ur body is alright n stuff but ur mind...isn't... I don't FEEL alive... its like I'm distant from me... I'm not here... I can feel my limbs I can feel the blood going through me I can feel everything that I've ever hurt.. I can breathe...I can see.. i can write these words down....but I'm just not. just not here my head is fuzzy,parts of me hurt..idk..
more in tags...
#moop talks#vent#Vent tw#I don't even know at this point#This isn't poetry or anything it's just what I feel rn.. I don't like that#I never really few alive anymore.. I keep going because death = bad and scary and my parents won't like me dead#It all boils down to being about surviving the day... nothing else... I feel good I feel bad.. but nothing changes#I don't want to live i don't want to die... I just sometimes wish I just wasn't there#Then nobody would love me and nobody would know me and nobody would need me and I wouldn't disappoint anyone#I'm just some meat puppet to a weird chemical reaction and I'm forced to know about that.. I'm forced to watch myself age and get sick..#I'll eventually rot and die.. not contributing anything in a way that matters... I'm repulsed by sex.. so likely no offspring#And IF I EVEN did have kids they'd inherent my families eyesight and diabetes risc and possibly anxiety and whatever my dad and grandma hav#Come to think of it.. I'm screwed when my parents eventually die and I'm forced to fend for myself... what do I even do other than“draw gud#AND I DONT EVEN DRAW GOOD ENOUGH TO GET ANYWHERE WORTHWHILE#I shouldn't even feel like this... I have parents.. I have a roof above my head.. I have the stuff needed to live ok.. Im not even 16 yet .#People out there are dieing and fuckin MOOPSIE over here is sulking about “feeling bad :( ”#I wish I could get therapy tbh... but I don’t think I'd be able to convince my parents without saying too much#I wish I could just be normal and feel ok and survive till adulthood than have sex and offspring than die feeling ok
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youtube
yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24
#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD#they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovský but that’s my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#that’s my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like#‘yeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah we’re gonna make them lose.’ & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid#where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd#also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society#and sorry to get like this on a silly little post i’m about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovský hours but so much of this goes back#to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english#and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole#e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more ‘valuable’ capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl#is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency they’re doing nothing to#support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition#programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway#juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun#at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl#syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me#you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount#of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him#AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life#'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy 🤷' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it#arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovský#arber xhekaj#david reinbacher#cayden primeau#montreal canadiens#i'm xhekovský posting leave me alone i'm also *****
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maybe it's to maintain a sense of tension & turmoil that would eventually reach an explosive peak, a sense of tug-of-war, a back-and-forth to hammer home the ideals they want to deliver and for the viewers to chew on, but although these arguments regarding hiroshi & his stance as a man torn between his loyalty for his country & the loyalty for his Filipino friends and lover is of course important, how they write these scenes & the points they present from this week alone is getting too repetitive...? literally the argument scenes from last night & tonight between adelina & hiroshi is basically the same; the ideas were the same, the dynamics were the same: the aggressive, radical adelina, bristling rage and fear over the injustices she's seen thus far, and the cautious, inspiriting hiroshi, all hopefulness and reassurance one moment as a lover, defensiveness and sternness as a japanese soldier in another. this debate will be ever-present ofc, it is one of the series' biggest conflicts, but it is unfortunately so easy to tell when it is a.) being pulled up as a main topic to move the plot along / be a necessary conflict for character development/introspection / be the conflict to deliver the morals & messages the writers want to send to their viewers, or b.) when it is being pulled up only for the drama and filler to pass the time. like watching the characters sit down to argue for 10 minutes, do other things for the plot for 2 minutes, then sit down again to argue for the next 20 minutes. lol.
#lots of things i wish they would soon improve but this 1 bothered me tonight..stopped watching halfway thru#these scenes would be like excellent breaks for when we need to take a breather to digest what's been going on#but at the slow pace they've set it it's just...nothing's been going on since like...4 days ago#except for eduardo's plot#it's just arguments..everywhere....all the time....over the same repetitive things#no progress nothing new to chew on despite there being drastic changes to their situation...? same vibes from the time they weren't occupie#yet lol. same dynamics mostly#only new points of debate is regarding hiroshi & his country vs friends conflict#& carmela being desperate to go back to comfort & luxury vs her family standing as firm as they could against the occupation#ahhh i am sooo not eloquent enough to express my full thoughts but like!!! fellow viewers if y'all r here u understand me right lmfoskadhsg#finding it hard to criticize bc i'm trying to make sense of where they r coming from#a.) seeing as unlike mcai this is a complete original story it's hard to see what direction they'd like to take it to#b.) fil shows really find it hard to break away from their normal formulas of family dramas & bastard children & love triangles :'))))#god the opportunity to tell a refreshing diff story but this is like gma show 67627627th but set in the japanese era....then mixed with 50%#of the mcai show feel#the editing the visuals the acting = good. 60% of the story line = can be compared to the hundreds of gma shows we've seen be4#anywy going off on a tangent...#c.) i can understand the slow pacing as them trying to establish the settings & the feel of that era so that the more intense tragedies-#later on would hit harder#but again. few scenes feel like they're dragging on for too long. some scenes & themes r too repetitive#need to see something differenttt something fresh something developing. something moving & feeling & connecting w/the audience#need to see more of the Philippines & the Filipino people in the 40s!! not the same afternoon prime drama shot in intramuros#need to see their messages staring into our souls instead of just being words uttered in tears#all this to say....flop era this week tbh sorry#EXCEPT FOR MAX COLLINS & HER LIKE. 3 MINS SCREEN TIME. MAX COLLINS I LOVE U QUEEN#rambles#pulang araw#putting this in the main tag i KNOW some ppl out there would feel the same & can explain this better lol i swear????
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can someone please come over and braid my hair and talk about fnaf like im 9 again thanks. can someone please come over and pretend like its all ok thanks.
#desire mona#not to vent in tags but i need to be so real#i am probably one of the most lonely people ever actually#i have friends but i never see them#i spend all my time on here#ive taken to talking to people down my street which does help tbh like i do enjoy feeling like i have a community#i have a friend named tom down the road but hes like. in his 40s or 50s. but i do enjoy talking to him when we're out walking our dogs#i went out with him and his daughter to try and see the northern lights but it was too cloudy#i felt rly bad for knocking on his door at 10 pm to look at nothing but he was glad i reminded him#but once i go back home its just nothing#my life is just a series of waiting to take drugs again and its eating away at me but i cant fucking Do Anything#i just kinda feel like a pathetic loser for not doing anything productive ever and i KNOW i shouldn't let that demean my character in any wa#y#i know im a good and kind and funny person but my inability to bring myself to improve anything just makes me feel like im the worst#whatever#thoughtsing
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hi
#yall ths art block is so bad its actually making me so stressed out😭😭😭#its been awful plenty of times before BUT THISSS???IT FEELS NEVER ENDINGGG#so fucking frustrating-__- and i was finally working on smth i had started to like yday#but i hit this mid point where i didnt know How 2 break thru from like .. rough > finished#and im like T__T . brah . head in my hands#IDK WHAT TO DOOOOOOO . < lamenting . < woe is me .#sry i luv talking abt it . its therapeutic tbh . what do u guys do when u are in this position#i also try to go back to basics and j do gesture studies until i feel more capable#but im like shakig the bars of my cage . let me do smt fun again. please ❤️ PLEASEE ❤️#i think part of it is also imposter syndrome whre like .. u see so many people u look up to doing so many cool things w their art#and its like . falling back into the trap of comparison and feeling like nothing u make can replicate the feeling of seeing those other#things ykwim🤔#sick in da head . i think its also a twt issue#like ever since i started posting on there ive been feeling like i have 2 make . quote unquote good things which . obviously dookie sentimen#bc any art is objectively good art there isnt like . U CANT BE BAD YKWIM HELP#but when i j posted to tumblr it was like . u send it off like slapping a horse on the ass and u see it ride away and its so lowkey#and fun.. the community here is so muchc fun .. j dont feel pressured here#smiles sweetly#<gi influence#maybe ill delete the app 4 a while until i feel normal again#guys we need to kill all social media#guys we need to go back to drawing sheep on rocks (<giotto ref(#if i had 2 elaborate ig it feels like . i am following the path of most resistance -__- like wading hesdstrong in2 waves that keep pushing#me back . theres so much i want to do Wish i could do but its like damn i can barely draw like two complete things over the course of 2-3 mo#from how HARD IT ISSS🚶and my aphantasia compounds it . fumbling arnd in a dark room hoping smth sticks#graa.. i think its the realization that i couldnt ever do art professionally bc im such an obstinate artist T_T#tbh saying all this now its like looking up in2 the eyes of all my art insecurities looming over me#CASTING 100 FT SHADOWWWW🧍#whteve . check back on me in 2 months hopefully i feel normal ab it then
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my therapist spent today's session making Faces at me about getting an ADHD diagnosis
which
I can honestly say I have never seriously considered the possibility of seeking an ADHD diagnosis but she might not be a billion miles off
I was describing how I get "fizzy bored" where I have no energy or ability to move and nothing holds my attention but I feel like my bones are trying to vibrate out of me with the desire to be Doing Things and she was like 🤔 and I got onto the fact that I often need to be doing 3-4 things at once to ease into focusing on one and she was like 🤨 and then I mentioned how I find it really difficult to start doing things but once I'm in it I'm super focused and she was like 😌 have you considered the possibility of an ADHD diagnosis?
and so I explained that I don't really see the point because even though, unlike EDS and autism, a diagnosis could suggest an actual treatment, I don't really feel like anything I've described is disabling me cause I have the tools to manage it now most of the time and I feel Fizzy Bored WAY less often these days. and she was like 🤨
and I was like yeah to be fair actually I did use to think that about chronic pain, trauma and having shit eyesight and doing something about them did really change my experience. and she was like 😌 and I was like and actually now we mention it the fact that I sometimes for NO REASON AT ALL simply put off doing things even though they would be really easy to do and I want to do them for LITERAL YEARS is maybe. A thing that it might be nice to change if I could. And she was like 🤔 and I was like OH FUCK I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GENUINELY CONSIDER THIS POSSIBILITY AREN'T I?
anyway after talking a mile a minute and overrunning by 15 minutes I then got a quarter of a mile away on foot and realised I'd left my glasses on her table. she opened the door I went HEY SPEAKING OF ADHD
#red said#tbf that last bit is only funny jokes. i mean i did do that but that is not one of the marks in the ADHD??? column#i am not a habitual leaver behind of things i generally do a full check#but also here's the issue I'm having#(apart from the fact that the tiktokification of ADHD has really muddied the waters on what is or isn't a likely indicator)#the issue is i am REALLY GOOD at coping mechanisms and workarounds. like SO GOOD. so i am goofy but I'm legit not scatterbrained#and i am. to quote a past manager. 'frighteningly efficient'.#but there is no doubt that i have legit issues with time blindness#thought permanence. like if i do not write something down in a place where i can see it regularly i will forget it.#and i WILL stop seeing it if it doesn't change enough or if i have to go out of my way to look at it#and yeah like the whole inertia and energy disregulation stuff is. it's not nothing.#and i am SO MAD that she might have a point and tbh i don't even know why I'm that mad about it#other than that having diagnoses of CPTSD autism and adhd would feel like the Internet Diagnostics Starterpack i guess. feels basic.#i dunno man it's dumb brain stuff it's not rational! that's a dumb reason to reject an idea even if it was a legit complaint which it is no#also i have been really giddy and hyper this evening and idk if that's bc I've had some manner of breakthrough thing or I'm just suggestible
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“It’s almost midnight, it's Christmas eve, I’m tired. I don’t really have the bandwidth for this. I just want to get it over with.”
!!!! More Limits of an Invitation art, done by audiovideomeow! My heart is singing!
#Over the moon though!!#vtm#tzimisce#vtm oc#ghoul#vtm art#Eliza never signed up for any of this shit#and she would say she just wants to go home but also... struggles to even know what that even looks like tbh#Nothing that getting promoted into being the ghoul of the trusty neighborhood tzim can't solve right? right!#Struggling to find a home? Got a real good one over here : )#Though Ana fr feels bad this accident happened on his watch he's usually not that sloppy#They're both just trying to make the best of a random awful situation neither could've predicted#Eliza Danielson#Anatol Stamatin#tw: violence
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Fuck fuck fuck low self-esteem has ruined my life.
#uchiha-gaeshi overshares#i should've known the signs when i got evaluated for adhd and my self perception was like#hold up gotta pull it up#and also disclaimer that this was a separate assessment for overall emotional wellbeing (or something like that) and this was just part of#the many tests that i had to take#ok. we're reaching even newer levels of oversharing here since i'm literally sharing evaluation results. but anywho#i was in the 96th percentile for sense of inadequacy; 17th percentile in (good) self esteem; 3rd percentile in self-reliance#and 3rd percentile in ego strength (i.e. satisfaction with self and one's abilities)#i saw this and got shocked and then forgot about it (in my defense there was a lot of stuff in the evaluation)#looks like it's more therapy for me. yay.#like there have been more times than not where i have felt less than to people around me. and fearing that people will see how pathetic#i actually am. god no wonder my desire to socialize decreased as my self esteem decreased#i might be repeating the same point over and over#ok so imma bring up the si/oc fic that i just dropped. like i think i *tried* to make a like a more confident version of myself; but i gues#i'll have to put it on pause because my teens were defined by feeling shit about myself. like idk what to do with a character like that#who's supposed to be making moves. like nothing would happen besides survivor's guilt#anyways back to the subject. as my gpa got pathetically low (i can't even share it here or else i'll probably deactivate this blog) and i#started losing jobs. i lost patience with myself. it seemed like other people were able to chug along with the demands of life while i was#fumbling around with no end in sight (tbh i wasn't the only one my close friend from college also has adhd and was really struggling and#another one might have dropped out. my childhood friend who also has adhd is in the same. exact. situation as i am with being unable to#go out in public since we feel like we can't be our “best selves”). then the old question came back: if i can't handle#high school/a part-time job/college on a low courseload then what the fuck was i going to do? some days i'd keep going with new strategies#or new ways to be more productive. but other days i didn't want to keep going#who knew it's not healthy to always assume that people are better than you? even though i have been reframing the more obvious thoughts#it's an automatic and unconscious impulse that just runs in the background of my head. idk if this is just a human thing or...#but because of this at times i'd hold myself back from fear of failure#anyways that's all i've lost my train of thought and have to do errands i've been putting off#txt
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i would really appreciate it if i didn't have a brain that thought torturing me was a helpful response to being scared of us. im your copilot stop fucking tazing me you dick
#good fucking god. im going to crawl out of bed now that was all so pointless#what they never tell you about mental illness is what a massive waste of your time it is. jfc you stupid asshole#i hate you intrusive thoughts i hate you i hate you i hate you. die.#all the rest of it too tbh but those in particular. haunted by the knowledge that i will never be able to fight my limbic system or whateve#like brass knuckle fucking bike chain with the lock on bat with nails in it etc. absolutely sick of that guy idc how sympathetic he is#that motherfucker needs to pay for what he's done to me and im not joking even a little bit#ugh im going to go distract myself with something stupid now. whatever#edit im adding in some of the good things that happened today bc it was actually good and i feel better now :v#we got our first proper snow of the season so i got to go walk around in that. twas beautiful and my dogs were very cute#the last couple of times it snowed here i was too depressed/burnt out/whatever to like. go have fun in it#and it's our first snow w hoagie obviously (and maybe his first snow bc he's like. 1 y/o)#im still on break and ive been vaguely if not very un-vaguely tormented by the prospect of registering for classes#even though i think they start in like. 2 days.#combined w the need to do like. a comedically large amount of dishes. like nothing to eat on for days bc of my ass amounts#am i registered for classes? no. but im working on the unforseen obstacle in question and i feel better bc of that#waiting on an email feels a lot comfier than sitting on smth very urgent without knowing its exact deadline (<- too scared to look) unable#to bring yourself to do it yknow? and the dishes got done. small miracles#like today was good my brain just ambushed me again
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when I was in high school there was a tendency whenever there was an attractive boy to simply fan over him. in a way that talked over everything he might say for himself and created a narrative that completely ignored, the fact in some cases, that he was really struggling—or if he was struggling, to pin all the blame on the girl he’s dating and completely ignore the thousands of other factors (no it can’t be mental illness or unaccommodated disability or systemic abuse or exploitation and if he is in an abusive relationship we won’t ever consider the factors that put him at risk for that)
and I’m not saying this fandom is like that. I get the need for privacy around some things and how in public conversations sometimes it’s a lot more respectful to stick to the positives (everyone who does that, I admire you) or even the struggles that are talked about publicly, show respect by not reading too far into them. there’s a time and place for that. but sometimes I feel like our only options are shitty and ableist gossip or totally ignoring the systemic and structural issues we know exist in something like the music industry until someone dies and then we’re looking for someone to blame. friends, there is a point where the respectful thing is to listen to what someone says and come together to make things better. and you can learn how to have that conversation respectfully. please do
#forever haunted by ‘I wasn’t always a cynic it’s just I’ve been bought and sold’#and actually this highlights my whole frustration with the conversation around mental health just about anywhere#like you tell people something sucks and they’re completely unwilling to even try to challenge the status quo in order to help#and idk. I tell myself they’re going to be fine. they’re so resilient. I’m doing all I can; I’m not on the ground there I’m at a distance#but at the same time is it not bittersweet sometimes to enjoy music born from trauma? to be at a live show knowing they shouldn’t be?#to me these stories have to be told for the reason that yes so people relate but also so we can do better for the next generation#anyway I’ve gotten deep into inxs lore lately and I can say. yes it is better for 5sos simply for the fact men can talk about emotions#but that didn’t come without a MASSIVE fight don’t you ever forget that. it’s gonna still carry shame. they’re choosing to fight that#but the sad songs we got as a result?? idk they’re the thing that turned me parasocial because there’s rarely absolutely nothing you can do#like if we’re ever gonna give them a gold star for talking about this stuff as early as sgfg til today we gotta ask ourselves to look at#larger systemic issues and stuff that we ARE a part of and while we can’t be there for them when they have a bad day. we can work on#anyway the high school example still haunts me. still drives some of what I do now. we were just kids. but most of us here aren’t anymore#and the newbrokenscene is grown up now and tbh the status quo should be TERRIFIED#so idk. at the very least sign the petition for liams law. advocate for better. address local issues of injustice and addiction etc#which in some ways I’m lucky that I get to do that in sydney so it feels connected but this is just as valuable anywhere#tbh the 2010s era of bubblegum pop and ignoring all our problems is over. you’re punk now. even katy released chained to the rhythm#thinking about the nfp I’m trying to start and how to start small. for disadvantaged kids maybe? intervening via urban design?#(don’t you ever forget 5sos WERE disadvantaged kids not even 20 years ago. that shit sticks to you no matter how much you achieve)#albums and activism#anyway it fascinates me to see how differently people do this kind of thing to each band member. like the vibe is different but still track#for this whole phenomenon like whether they’re seen as pretty or strong or cute or smth else that becomes the main thing not their words#and I say that but tumblr is pretty good overall. I just wish sometimes we could have a more active conversation before any tragedy#so gosh I’m ranting so much but PLEASE talk about this with me. I notice far too much and I can’t say any of it publicly#so occasionally I come out with a rant like this
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#this is the only plot i care about tbh#acgas 2020#all creatures great and small#tristan farnon#siegfried farnon#i do hate how much they (the writers) force these conversations but this portion of it does feel natural#THIS is showing and not telling#idk#it would feel better to me if more of their arguments were dancing around the subject#instead of directly saying it#like they are here when siegfried doesn't say what he would have done differently with tristan#but we all obviously know#if they had built up to the argument in the S3 christmas special it would have hit better#not that it doesn't hit#just#it would have been a release of tension#a real good catharsis#instead of just one fight among many#as it is there's nothing that really sets it apart other than siegfried telling tristan that he loves him and would die for him#the rest of it just feels like old hat#but this moment (since i'm getting off track) is really good#part of why the rest doesn't ring true i think is because tristan is like 30#like that shit should be properly internalized by now#'you like that kid better than me :(' shut up!! you should be getting pissy with him for unrelated reasons#and so repressed about it that you have no clue of the true cause!#until you reach this moment and it comes pouring out!#anyways i do have to go to work now#ignore literally everything i've said here
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Hugghsigsjfkw why do i rb stuff that upsets me even when its rlly stupid witowgkwotkwk *dissolves into a puddle*
#me rambles#rambing in tags today yay#basically that one post abt how to write liars. its useful and good and all.... and it also described my speech patterns lol n lmao#and like. i sometimes speak like that to leave clear where did i heard something just in case its wrongful info so i dont present it as fact#but now ehm. yea i feel im kind of a coward lmao#and i have gotten called a competent manipulator#which on one side idk im not smart enough for that but on the other side that is what im doing w this post#and tbh that also mixes w my irl behaviour. the enviroment here is shit so i gotta be an asshole on main#and back up my dad (champion on being an asshole on purpose )#so ppl wont mess w us. but it also makes me a hypocrite bc im here all like lets dialogue peacefully guys :)#but if i try to do that irl. well. lmao dying would be a good fate#so yeah. im trying to. come clean onto the fact that i am a jerk irl even though im hiding it at the same time in the most pitiful wat#but at least im saying it. better than nothing#idk i just have to be more upfront and less deceitful#and also less fucking autistic like my god kachi it was a silly writing post cope n seethe#so yea ramble over. dw guys im jusr letting the upsetties out#delete later
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