#like there have been more times than not where i have felt less than to people around me. and fearing that people will see how pathetic

[bettys-redwinesupernova]

SOMEONE TO STAY

rafe cameron x fem!reader

SUMMARY: when rafe’s girlfriend doesn’t show up to his safe house during a hurricane he fears the worst, and wonders if he’ll get to tell her that he loves her.

based on this ask !! i hope this is what you wanted anon :) i wasn’t sure if you meant pogue!reader or actually meant pogue!rafe so i kept this open as to not interpret it incorrectly !!

A/N: my drew starkey & characters masterlist is here !!

WARNINGS: cursing, hurricane, fear of loved ones dying, crying, panic attack, arguments, angsty love confession, angst to fluff !! (lmk if i missed anything !!)

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

SECOND PERSON +

The storm came fast and without mercy. What had started as a mild tropical storm rapidly intensified into a Category 4 hurricane barrelling toward the Outer Banks. Mandatory evacuation orders were issued for the Pogues and parts of the Cut, but for the Kooks in Figure Eight, the luxury of reinforced homes and private shelters meant hunkering down. The air felt thick with panic and pressure as everyone prepared for the worst.

Rafe had been at his father's old office on the more secure side of the island, trying to sort out some financial mess left behind by Ward, when the weather reports turned grim. His phone buzzed incessantly with texts and calls from people checking in or offering refuge. But Rafe didn't care about any of them.

He cared about one person.

"Y/N, just listen to me for once!" Rafe snapped, pacing the office as the storm began to howl outside. His voice was sharp, desperate even, as he tried to reason with his girlfriend. "Don't try to be a hero. Don't stop for anything. Just get in your car and come straight to the safe house. I'll meet you there."

"Rafe, I'll be fine," you said over the phone, your voice calm but firm. "I'm already on my way."

"You're sure? I can come get you. I should come get you," he pressed, running a hand through his hair. "This storm's getting worse by the second. I don't want you driving in this."

"I've got it under control," you reassured him, a smile in your tone even though he couldn't see it. "I'll see you soon."

But the second the line went dead, unease settled deep in Rafe's chest. He tried to tell himself you were capable, smart, and resourceful—qualities he loved about you. Still, that didn't stop the gnawing anxiety that clawed at him as he headed toward the safe house.

—

The drive was hellish. Rain lashed against your windshield, the wipers barely able to keep up. Floodwaters licked at the sides of the road as you maneuvered carefully toward Figure Eight. It wasn't long before you lost signal entirely, your phone cutting off mid-text to Rafe. You cursed under your breath but pressed on.

You'd been almost to the safe house when a thought struck you like lightning. Earlier that week, Rafe had been pouring over some old financial records and papers that he needed for his next move with the family business. He'd spent hours meticulously going through them, and you knew they were stored in his father's house.

Your chest tightened. If the storm destroyed everything, Rafe would lose all that work. Against better judgment, you turned onto the road leading to Tannyhill. You told yourself it wouldn't take long—just in and out.

By the time you made it to the safe house, it was well past dark, and the storm had intensified. The wind howled like a living thing, rattling the reinforced windows and slamming against the door as you stumbled in, soaked to the bone.

"Rafe?" you called, setting the plastic bag containing the saved papers down on a table. "I'm here."

It took less than ten seconds for him to appear. His hair was disheveled, his clothes wrinkled from hours of pacing. The moment his eyes landed on you, relief flickered across his face—but it was quickly replaced by something far darker.

"Where the hell have you been?" he shouted, storming toward you. His voice was a mix of anger and panic, his chest heaving as he stopped in front of you. "I've been calling you for hours! Do you have any idea—" His voice broke, and he ran a hand down his face. "I thought something happened to you."

"Rafe, I'm fine," you said, trying to placate him. "I—"

"You're not fine!" he snapped, his voice rising again. "You think this is fine? Driving through a hurricane, ignoring my calls—what were you even doing?" His eyes darted to the bag on the table, and something clicked. "You stopped for papers?"

"Rafe, I know how important they are to you—"

"Papers?" he interrupted, his voice incredulous. "You risked your life for some stupid papers?"

"They're not stupid!" you fired back, your own frustration bubbling to the surface. "You've been working so hard on this, and I didn't want you to lose it all."

"I don't care about the damn papers!" he yelled, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. "Don't you get it? I don't care about any of that fucking shit if it means losing you!"

You opened your mouth to respond, but he cut you off, his breathing growing erratic. His hands trembled as he backed away, pressing his palms to his temples. "I can't—God, I can't do this," he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I thought you were dead, Y/N. I thought I lost you out there.”

"Rafe—"

"You're all I have," he said, his voice breaking completely as tears streamed down his face. "You're all I have, and I can't lose you. I won't survive it."

His words hit you like a tidal wave, the raw vulnerability in his voice leaving you momentarily stunned. You stepped toward him cautiously, reaching out to touch his arm. "Rafe, I'm here. I'm okay," you said softly. "I'm right here."

But he didn't seem to hear you, his breathing growing more rapid as he sank onto the couch. His chest heaved, and his hands gripped the edge of the cushion like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

You knelt in front of him, your heart aching at the sight of him falling apart. "Rafe, look at me," you said firmly, taking his hands in yours. They were cold and clammy, shaking like leaves in the storm outside. "Breathe with me, okay? Just breathe."

He tried to match your breaths, but his body refused to cooperate. Desperation clawed at him, his gaze wild and unfocused. "I can't—I can't—"

"Yes, you can," you said, your voice steady despite the tears streaming down your face. You guided one of his hands to your chest, pressing his palm flat against your heartbeat. "Feel that? I'm still breathing. I'm still alive. I'm here, Rafe."

Something shifted in his eyes as he focused on the steady rhythm beneath his hand. He gripped your shirt like a lifeline, his breathing slowly evening out. "You're here," he repeated, his voice barely audible. "You're here."

"That's right," you said, brushing a damp strand of hair from his forehead. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

For a long moment, neither of you moved. The storm raged on outside, but inside, the only sound was the quiet rise and fall of your breaths. Finally, Rafe pulled you into his arms, holding you so tightly it almost hurt.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into your hair. "I'm sorry for yelling. I was just so scared."

"I know," you said, your voice muffled against his chest. "I'm sorry, too. I should've just come straight here."

He pulled back just enough to cup your face in his hands, his blue eyes searching yours. "I don't say this enough—or at all—but you mean everything to me, Y/N. I don't know what I'd do without you. You’re my whole world. Not work, not money, not anything; you. I love you, so fucking much.”

Tears welled in your eyes again, but this time, they were from something far warmer than fear. "I love you, too," you said, leaning into his touch.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other's arms as the storm began to lose its fury. Whatever chaos the hurricane had brought, it couldn't touch the calm you found in each other.

(divider by @kodaswrld !!)

betty’s notes ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

i hope this is what you wanted anon !! this was such a cute one to write and i love me some angst to fluff😫

pls request some more angst guys !! i absolutely LOVE writing it :) and as always, likes and reblogs are always appreciated <3

[sirxlla]

Sorry - Halsey (Batboys)

------------------------------------------------

Dick: "and never really understood, the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could."

To everyone, Dick was always put together. He was a rock, never broken, never sad or angry, just perfect. It was so far from the truth. He felt lonely, angry, and depressed.

This time of year was so taxing on Dick, he had started having nightmares about his parents and that night of the fall. Usually, this time of year, he breezed through it without so many nightmares, but this year was hell. He saw the fall over and over, and his blame for himself came back with a vengeance.

"No. No! No- No- Nononon! No!" Dick woke up with a start, sweat pooled in every crevice having dampened his shirt and pillow. Of course, he woke you up as well, and you went into comfort mode, rubbing his back.

"Hey...I'm right here if you need anything." You said with a soft whispering tone so as not to spike his heart rate more than it already was.

"What if it's my fault? What if it all is? What if everyone's gonna get hurt because of me?" Dick placed his head on your chest and started sobbing as you rubbed circles onto his back.

"Honey, as long as I've known you, I've known that as long as you draw breath, you'll help as many as you can...You'd give someone the shirt off your back and the shoes you were wearing just because they asked. You're an amazing person, and the world is so much better because you're in it. I don't want you to think any differently about it." You rubbed his back as his tears made the silk of your pajama shirt stick to your chest.

"I'm sorry." He wiped his eyes and sniffled. "I shouldn't be crying, everyone sees me like-"

"Hey, I don't give a shit how everyone sees you, and I would never think less of you 'cause you're brave enough to show me how you're feeling. Okay?" You look into those cerulean eyes shining in the dim light of the room.

"I am so proud of you and no one here would ever be disappointed in you, Honey." You hug him as he nuzzles into your chest and calms down a bit until he falls asleep, you rub his back until you fall asleep with him. His drool is now the only thing dampening your sleep shirt.

Jason: "I've missed your calls for months, it seems, I don't realize how mean I can be."

You had been calling him over and over, and he would read it; you could see he did. He was just ignoring it. He had disappeared into what felt like thin air. Had you done something wrong or was he in one of those moods of his where he thinks he's not good enough for anyone?

He's sitting alone in some hotel room in Central City. Jason left everyone alone; he needed some time to sort himself out. He knew that rule about how you have to love yourself to love anyone else, and right now, he couldn't stand the sight of himself. You didn't deserve his bullshit, you didn't deserve his demons that are drowning him alive.

You have sent his messages daily since he disappeared into the blue.

7:36 A.M. Jan 14th - "Everyone loves you." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

3:59 P.M. Jan 16th - "I miss you bunches." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

2:12 A.M. Jan 17th - "Just stay safe for me? I'd be in pieces if anything happened to you." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

8:36 A.M. Jan 19th - "Sorry forgot to text yesterday, I've been so tired, but I still miss you every moment you aren't here." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

5:26 P.M. Jan 20th - "Dinners always ready for whenever you come home. I promise." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

1:41 A.M. Jan 22nd - "Tokyo misses you, he meows by the door constantly. Please come home, our family misses you." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

10:38 A.M. Jan 23rd - "Jase, please. I can't sleep well without you. I don't know what's going on; please explain." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

11:37 P.M. Jan 24th - "Jase, Please come home. I'm sorry for whatever I did." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

He read the texts. What you did? You did nothing. He realized how stupid and selfish he was being, such an asshole. His fingers typed before he could fully decide what he wanted to do.

"What did you do? Babygirl, you did nothing wrong. I'm coming home, I'm sorry I've just been so stupid about everything recently. I've been worried I'm not enough but I realize I can spend forever getting closer to my idea of perfect for you until you kick me out or my heart stops beating. I'm sorry and I'll be home soon."

You had cried yourself to sleep that night, and you were so exhausted you hadn't seen the text. Tokyo started meowing, and it woke you; you checked the clock, and it was 3:53. You had only been asleep for a few hours.

"Tokyo, go to bed. He's not here." You cry into your pillow, your face is swollen, and your eyes still red from crying earlier.

"I am, Babygirl. I'm so sorry." Jason saw your face and how sad you were; his heart felt heavy in his chest, and he was angry at himself for hurting you so deeply. You didn't know what to do, so you stared at him as he crawled over to you and hugged you. It had been a hard week without him and him hugging you is what finally broke you. You sobbed into his chest, holding onto him tightly.

"Don't you ever do that again, You Asshole!" You sobbed angrily, hugging him tightly as you breathed in the smell of smoke that lingered on his skin.

"I promise, I never will. God, I'm so sorry. I'll spend forever apologizing for this. I'm so fuckin sorry." Jason heard the sadness in your voice and held you tighter til you both fell asleep.

Bruce: "Sorry I could be so blind, Didn't mean to leave you and all of the things that we had behind."

Being Batman and trying to be a billionaire on top of it just really didn't give him the time to be in a relationship. You knew this, and you tried your hardest to make sure that he never felt bad about it, but it doesn't mean that it didn't feel like shit every single time you wanted to do something with him or you had something planned and he had to change it.

Not only does this include dates and evenings and dinner but it was also sometimes that he was just so exhausted he would fall asleep in the middle of whatever you had planned anyways, it sucks.

You love him so deeply, but he's so busy all the time, and you're trying to give it the benefit of the doubt and just hope that, at some point, you'll come first to a degree. You held out for so long, but after a while, you just couldn't do it; you left.

Alfred noticed the note on the counter; if it had been Bruce, he wouldn't have noticed it for weeks.

"Master Wayne, I believe this is for you." Alfred hands the note to Bruce as Bruce is just about to go back out as Batman.

"Dear Bruce, My Love,

This has to be one of the hardest decisions I've ever made but I know it's the only option that I have where I don't feel guilty for taking up your time."

He started reading and then noticed the marks where tears had damped the paper as he continued to read.

"I would never ask you to put me over the people in Gotham. I know why you do what you do,, but it doesn't make it any less hard when I barely see you, and then when I do, you're covered in bruises, and you can barely get out of bed. I can't do this anymore. I love you, and it pains me so much to do this. I can't live a life where I feel so alone; it feels like I'm dating a ghost. I know that in my heart of hearts, I cannot handle this, and I know a child definitely can't. I'm pregnant and I'd rather do this alone than make you feel guilty for not being there or make myself feel guilty for staying. I love you, and I don't want to try to change you; I know what you do, what you do. I'm sorry, My Love.

Sincerely & Yours Always"

He finished reading the letter, and his heart dropped. You were pregnant? When? When did that happen? He should have known.

"I want you to see about Mr. Fox taking over my role in Wayne Enterprises. I'll still own the company the same, but I'll have more time." He asks Alfred; Bruce knows that this is something he should have done a long time ago. He's been missing you anyway, but now he is about to miss out on you for the rest of his life, and he is about to miss out on his kid.

Not even a few days pass before Bruce finds you, he's drenched in rain in civilian clothes. The rain just enhances the smell of his cologne. He looks even more tired than he usually does. It's clear he hasn't slept.

"I will do anything you ask just please don't leave me." He asks you as you open your door and in his hands held your favorite flowers. Bruce's eyes glanced down at your belly as you pulled him in to get him out of the rain, you were showing. He cursed himself in his mind. How could he even have remotely not noticed, considering how far along you are?

You grabbed towels from your hotel bathroom and began to dry him off.

"I let Lucius take over my job at Wayne Enterprises, so I'll have more time for you,, and I promise I will have more time for you, and I'll have more time for a little one. God, can't believe I didn't notice all the signs were there. How's everything been going?" He asks as his hands hover over your belly, asking for silent permission, which you allow when your hands guide him to your tiny bump.

"It's been okay; sleeping's been a bit rough, this mattress is like concrete, and the morning sickness is a bitch, but overall, I'm okay." You told him as his hands moved themselves under your shirt to feel his hands closer to the growing baby.

"Are you planning on coming home? I- I know we usually sleep during most of the day but I- I really wanna be here through this." You could hear the vulnerability and his voice something that rarely ever slipped to that degree.

"I- Yeah... I really didn't want to do this alone either just left because I didn't want you to feel bad."

"Sweetheart, I will never make you feel like you have to do anything alone again if I can help it." His hands still gently rubbing your belly.

"Well, we're definitely not going to make it home tonight, not in this rain, and I still have the room for the night."

He nodded, and the both of you laid down to watch whatever was on TV; it had been a long time since he had felt anything this domestic or 'normal.' It was so nice and calming, something he now had time for so much more with you.

Tim: "But I still know your birthday and your mother's favorite song."

Breaking up was never something either of you wanted to do, but you wanted to go to school in the U.K. that has always been a dream of yours ever since you were a kid, and Tim would never be the type of person to hold you back from your dreams even if it meant he'd get hurt.

At the start, the two of you texted all the time, and you'd show him things all the time, but slowly, he stopped responding, so you stopped texting. He couldn't bear the thought of not being with you, but he had responsibilities here in Gotham; he couldn't just go.

"Hey, Numb Nuts. I asked you a question." Jason prodded as he finally got Tim's attention after what felt like forever.

"Huh?" Tim was confused; he was so in his head that he didn't even remotely hear what Jason said.

"I said, 'Why are you so doom and gloomy?' You're moping around the place like your puppy died." Jason had noticed how low Tim had been for the last month; he thought it might have to do with you, but you left six months ago.

"You not gettin' any more texts from your girlfriend?" Jason asked a bit cheeky but it was clear that concern laced the tonality of his voice.

"No, I stopped responding. I don't wanna make her feel like she has to respond to me." Tim mumbled.

"I know you're not stupid, so why are you acting like a dumbass?" Jason stated with annoyance in his tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're being a dumbass. You know she loves you and you're ignoring her? Why the hell didn't you go with her anyway?"

"I have responsibilities here-"

"No, fuck your responsibilities; there are plenty of people who can take over for whatever you're doing. You get your ass on a flight and go to her before I beat your ass." Jason stated as he grabbed the laptop out of Tim's hands and started booking a flight.

"Go pack, you're leaving in an hour."

"Who's leaving in an hour?" Dick stretched as he walked in.

"Tim is, he's going to see his girlfriend."

"No, I'm not. Guys, I have things to-"

"Yes, you are." Jason and Dick both cut him off. Dick rushed Tim to his room and started helping Tim pack before he could even begin to process what was going on.

Jason texted you, "I have a surprise, go to the airport at 10:30. Don'tt be late."

In your mind you thought 'Aww, Jason's so sweet. My best friend's gonna meet me here.' So you responded.

"Will do. 🫡"

Several hours passed and you arrived at the airport looking around at baggage claim for Jason. He was a bitch bitch, hard to miss. You kept looking around when you spotted Tim and your heart lept in your chest, running over to him and hugging him deeply.

"Oh my god!" You squealed to his suprise. He thought you mightve moved on but hpw you were acting made it clear you hadnt. His arms squeezed you. After the hug you grabbed one of his rolling bags and helped him to your car.

"Oh my god, it took me so long to learn to drive on the other side of the road..." you started rambling and telling him all about your trips and every little detail as you drove him to your flat. His eyes followed every detail on your face, he wasnt even listening just in awe of you. Tim realized just how much he missed you, he broke out of his trance as you lead him inside.

"I bought everybody stuff, I have a box for Jason and Damian and Bruce. I am so exvited for everyone to get their stuff, its gonna be so fun..." Each box had different stuff that interested each of them, you had a box for Tim too. You still remembered everything even though its been six months. His heart swelled at how sweet you are and he just kissed you right there which interrupted your new ramblings. You shoulders fell and your hands found Tim's face as per normal abd the both of you realized home isn't a place, its a person.

Damian: "And so it seems I broke your heart, My ignorance has struck again"

He had another gala to go to for some charity event; besides, this was something his father demanded he do. It wasn't like he had a choice, did he? He's been Wayne Enterprises' new CEO since his father retired; he's been sucked up in events, meetings, and planning.

Although he had a lot on his plate it was no excuse for how distant he was being. Damian knows the date or at least he should. If this relationship is as important to him as it is to you he'll know the date. Your anniversary and this wasn't one of those little petty short ones or some shit. This was five years.

You decorated the apartment, lit candles, wrapped presents, decorated the bed with rose petals, put on music, and even made dinner and his favorite dessert. You were so excited and so proud of yourself, it took you all day while he was at work to do so.

The only reason you weren't at work is that you took it off for this reason. You thought he'd take a day off, too, but it's okay. He didn't cause you had time to surprise him. You paid for everything yourself, you didn't wanna constantly have to borrow money from him, and it was always good to have a rainy day fund.

The front door alarm chirps, letting you know he's home, and your smile grows larger. He remembered! Oh, you were so excited but that excitement faded when he just went to the bedroom? Confusion filled your features. 'What?' You followed him to the room.

Damian was quickly stripping out of his work suit into an expensive one he uses when he has to go to galas.

"Hello?" You asked all dolled up for him.

"Have you seen my blue silk tie anywhere?" He asked, not even remotely noticing the petals or how you looked.

"No, I haven't seen your fuckin tie." Snapping at him but he just rolled his eyes and didn't notice. He quickly got dressed, sprayed himself with cologne, and made his way out the door again.

You felt your heart get crushed in your chest, he might as well have carved it out and stomped all over it. 'He can remember the date for the gala but not our anniversary?' You sat there and sobbed, it's been the same date every year for the last five years. You ate dinner alone, cleaned everything up, blew out the candles, and raked the petals half hazardly into the trash.

A few candles got accidentally left out, having forgotten to drain the bathtub, several petals still lined the floor, and the presents were still left on the table.

You showered yourself and washed off the makeup that felt like it took you hours to get right, the red lipstick staining the washcloth and your lips. You quickly changed and crawled into bed, alone.

Damian showed up at the apartment hours later, he knew you'd be asleep. The galas ran long so why the hell would you need to stay up and wait for him?

He was starving; the galas didn't serve much food. The only thing you could get in abundance at a gala was alcohol, and Damian never wanted to dull his senses like that, so he didn't drink. He went to the fridge, noticing his favorite food; he put some on a plate and heated it in the microwave, making sure to stop it before it beeped so he wouldn't wake you.

He moved over to the dining table that was covered in presents, and as soon as he saw them, his heart fell into his ass. 'The 18th? Shit! I- Fuck. It's our anniversary, God Damn it.' Damian was tempted to run into the room and apologize but what would it do? It would just wake you up and that would be even more rude on top of him being a jackass already.

He ate his food and cleaned up the rest of the apartment. He needed to figure out an apology quickly. 'How could I be so stupid? Wait, that cake in the fridge said 'Marry me?' She- she wants to marry me. God, I feel awful.'

He didn't know what to do to fix this, he could make some sorta big grand gesture, but those always felt like trying to gander sympathy points, and he wasn't gonna do that shit. Damian was gonna be a man and admit how shitty of a person he is. He would just make you breakfast and apologize, take all the blame 'as one should when they're a jackass'

You came out of the room the next day, your hair messy, face puffy, eyes red, lips still stained fromnthe red lipstick, in your robe with your headphones on. You noticed he wasn't beside you and figured he pulled an all-nighter, and you went to wash your face and get coffee.

You pull out the contacts you forgot to take out last night, you rinse your eyes and throw the contacts out, putting your glasses on before going to get coffee.

As soon as your hand reaches for the coffee pot, Damian's hands find your hips.

"Uh uh, you go park yourself right over there. I'm a jackass so I'm doing anything and everything for you today. Okay?"

"Damian, it's just a date on a calendar." You tried to just brush it off.

"It's not just a date on a calendar, it's everything, and I'm so sorry. I'm not going to sit here and make excuses, I forgot because I was so wrapped up in work. I disregarded the only thing that matters in the entire world to me because I got wrapped up in stupid shit that doesn't even remotely matter as much as you do." Gently grabbing your face and looking into your eyes, the redness and puffiness had gone down but lord did his heart skip a beat to see you in those glasses.

"Now, we can't do it over necessarily, but I'm cutting my work hours. They will be designated for five hours, and then the other three or four will be crime-fighting or whatever else I have going on, and the other fourteen will always be yours. Obviously, you'll have more on vacation days or sick days or days; I just don't want to go to work. I promise you my time whenever you need it even if it is during work hours. I would be content with losing everything else but you, okay?" He continued as he kept gazing into your eyes, and you could see the level of anger he had for himself and how sympathetic he was to help you; you could see the pain in his chest that originated from him hurting you.

"Okay." You sniffled and a few tears fell down your face.

"Also, I know it was supposed to be a surprise, but if you want to marry me, I'll do it right now; we can get engaged and plan the most beautiful wedding ever. Whatever you want, it's yours, and if I can't get it, I will find a way." He said as he wiped your tears from your cheeks. You pulled him into a hug and nodded; he wasn't off the hook; hell, you'd let him off the hook before he ever let himself off of it. That was one thing you loved about him when he made a promise; he stuck to it, and there was no one more disappointed in him right now than himself.

Masterlist

[harryhighkey]

rest, baby.

hi - here is part four of my frontman x reader series!

spoiler: they finally kiss! sorry but not sorry for the slow burn for that moment. hopefully the wait was worth it!

a frontman x reader series - masterlist to series here

"Open your eyes now." Player 001's voice sounded out in front of you, his voice was so calm compared to the constant loud terror that had stayed in your head during Mingle.

You did as he said and you were met by his gaze in the little yellow room. Slowly, you removed your hands from your own ears. In-ho's hands were still over the top of yours so they fell from your face too. All of the terrible noises of the worst game yet were over now. The nursery rhyme, the screaming, the fighting, the gun shots, dead bodies being placed into boxes with thuds, it was all over.

But there was another sound that you'd only heard once, that had taken place right before the game ended. A neck breaking. Your eyes did a quick sweep of the room, the man who had snuck in here when you fell to the ground was gone. You looked back to Player 001.

In-ho was still looking at you, he knew what you were looking for. He'd deliberately waited until the guards had removed the dead body from the room before telling you to open your eyes. His eye contact was strong, you still found comfort in it, but something had shifted ever so slightly. You were having an internal battle over if what he had done made you trust him more or less.

He had just killed someone with his bare hands. For you.

"It's over?" You asked, needing him to confirm.

"Yes." He told you and you felt the invisible weight of panic that had been crushing you lift from your chest.

You took in a deep breath but winced as the action hurt your side. Quickly you flinched, your hands going to where the pain struck.

"Are you okay?" In-ho frowned in concern, his hands landing on your shoulders to steady you.

"Just hurts a little."

"Can I see?"

You nodded and your hands went to the hem of your shirt, lifting it to see your side all red from where you had been kicked. "Looks like it hurts a lot." In-ho said, he moved one of his hands so his fingertips just barely brushed the surface of where your skin was red and hot, his jaw clenched. He was furious at the person who hurt you like this.

"I'll be fine." You pushed his hand away and put your shirt back down.

"You don't have to do that with me."

"Do what?"

"Say you're fine when you're obviously hurt."

"Well, when I just have this and all those people died, then I'm fine, Young-il." You snapped at him.

He didn't respond, instead silence fell between you both. His expression gave nothing away, you hated knowing how readable your face was whilst his was the opposite.

What you didn't know was the constant internal battle he was facing between being the Frontman and Player 001. Being the man who ran these games but also being the man who wanted to save you from them.

You snapped at him about people dying here, which he was to blame for but he didn't care about those people. He only cared about you. He cared so much about your life and at the same time, he was the reason yours had been put in this dangerous situation, he had to be the reason you get out, too.

"Sorry." You dropped your eyes, shaking your head at yourself. This man had literally just carried you to the finishing line - a finishing line that secured your life - and you were snapping at him? He had just helped and carried you through the worst panic attack you'd ever experienced so you would survive. He killed for you. You tried not to think about that last fact too much.

He had looked out for you more than anyone ever had your whole life.

"Don't be." He shook his head, dropping his head down. "You've been through a lot. Too much." Because of me. He thought.

"So have you." You reached for his hand then, he intertwined his fingers with yours. He kept his face down. "Young-il," You called out to him. In-ho hated that you still didn't know his real name, he wanted to tell you it. He looked back up to you. "Thank you for looking after me. For saving me."

His spare hand came to rest on your cheek, his thumb rubbing along your skin. You're saving me. He didn't say that out loud, instead he said, "I told you I would."

"I know, but when I had given up during the second last round. I thought that was it for me."

"But it wasn't, I was never going to let that happen."

"I know that, I just thought I was stronger than that. I should've been able to keep going. I should've been able to handle it." You were disappointed in yourself, dropping your gaze from his now.

"No," In-ho shook his head, his face almost looking pained at what you had said. Both of his hands held your own two. "You shouldn't have to, (Y/N). You are not the problem. What happens here, the people who thrive here, who enjoy it, they're the ones who are wrong." He moved his face closer to yours, barely brushing his nose against yours, you looked back up at the contact, the movement bringing your face closer to his again. You could feel his breath on your lips, your heart thundered. "Not you, pretty girl. You are too good for this place, it's beautiful that you don't belong here."

Your breath hitched as your eyes dropped to his mouth and then back up to his eyes. You tilted your head a little, rubbing your nose against his, your lips just grazing his, inviting him in.

He accepted.

Player 001 closed the distance, his lips meeting yours, finally. The kiss was tender and heavy, you'd both felt like you had been waiting so long for this despite it being just a few days. Your brain felt dizzy as all the terrible things you'd experienced slowly began to dissipate and all you could think about was how perfectly his lips meshed with yours. His hands let go of yours and found your thighs, you sighed into his mouth at the feeling of his strong grip on your legs.

"Come here." He mumbled against your lips. In-ho started to pull you forward and you followed his lead. Between kisses, you lifted yourself so you could settle into his lap and straddle him, your hands holding onto his shoulders, your front against his. You broke the kiss so you could catch your breath, but he wanted more, he was no where near close to being done to having his mouth on you.

Wet kisses were left to the corner of your mouth, your chin until he found your neck. You whined and tilted your head to give him more access, the feeling of it so delicious, you could feel a wetness already forming in between your legs. "That's my good girl." He said, briefly looking at your heavenly face before his lips came back to your neck where he began to lightly suck, his hands moving to your ass. You bit down hard on your bottom lip and whimpered, already feeling so turned on, you wanted to hear him call you that every day.

He started dotting kisses down your neck now, lingering a very hot, open-mouth one to the spot where your neck met your shoulder. "I can't wait to taste all of you." He gripped your ass and you rolled your hips into his. "You want that, baby?" He asked you, lifting his head once again to be right in front of yours. Your cheeks were already growing pink.

"Yes. Please, yes." You nodded, crashing your mouth against his once more. He met your kiss with ease, he was getting drunk on you already and there was still so much more of you waiting to be explored by him.

You were so blissfully surrounded by him, the perfect distraction from everything else you had gone through this day. You'd felt a constant flutter in your chest anytime he had touched you since that first night when he had rubbed your head until you fell asleep. Now that flutter was more alight than ever, bursting with each skilled movement of his lips.

You rolled your hips again, seeking a sensation against your throbbing centre. "Baby," In-ho broke the kiss with a puff of air at the feeling of your pussy grazing over where he had grown hard in his pants. You met his gaze. "Not here." He told you, placing one last peck to your lips and running his hands further up your back. As much as he wanted you, he wanted to make sure it was where you two were truly alone. Your pleasure was for his eyes only.

You whined and dropped your head onto his shoulder, letting out a loud sigh.

He laughed, turning his head so his lips grazed against your ear as he spoke. "That turned on?"

"Shut up." You laughed too.

"I'll take that as a yes."

-----

"To give you some time to think, the vote will be conducted tomorrow."

50 vs 50.

The vote had come out to a tie.

"No." Your voice was barely audible, you felt hopeless.

Everyone turned to walk back, only you and Player 456 were left standing in place. Gi-hun was staring at the numbers on the screen in disbelief. You were watching the guards as they started getting ready to leave.

You knew you wouldn't make it through another game and you didn't want Player 001 putting himself in danger again to keep you safe. You wouldn't forgive yourself if anything were to happen to him. You were desperate to get out.

Briefly, you turned to look back, looking for the man who had become your solace. He was already walking back to the bunks. You looked at him for a few more moments before turning back to the guards, they had all started to turn away to leave. If you had taken a few extra seconds to think about, maybe you wouldn't have acted so impulsively.

But you didn't.

"(Y/N), no!" Gi-hun attempted to stop you as you broke out in a sprint towards one of the guards, he reached out to you but you just slipped out of his grip.

Others turned at the commotion, the people who voted 'O' hoping to see you run right to your death, the people who voted 'X' were worried.

When In-ho turned at the sound of Gi-hun saying your name and he saw what you were doing, he swore his heart stopped beating. "(Y/N)! Stop!" He screamed at you, voice full of distress. Just like Player 456, he ran after you, but he was too many steps behind now. He could control what happened to you when the games were taking place, but if you were running at the guards to attack them in front of all the other players, he couldn't control the outcome of this and it made him panic.

Just as you were about to grab a guards gun, they turned around at the sound of their bosses voice, seeing you right behind them and immediately holding their gun up so the barrel pressed right against your forehead.

You froze and sucked in a breath, the other guards turned and pointed their guns at you. You waited for the sound of a bullet being fired, but it never came. You thought for sure this was going to be your end, this was not behaviour they tolerated.

What you didn't see was the Frontman glaring at them with a warning gaze. His face was hardened in fury at the idea of any of them shooting you and he ever so slightly shook his head to tell them no as subtly as he could without anyone else noticing.

"Move back." The guard commanded at you.

For a moment, you thought about trying to grab the barrel for a last attempt to steal the gun, you knew the speed of your hands would be no match for the trigger on this weapon, but your desire to leave was so strong you considered trying. That was until Player 001's voice sounded out. "(Y/N), listen to them. Come back." You imagined how you would feel if it was him with the gun aimed at his head, the thought of it even too much. So you started to step backwards. The guards kept the guns pointed at you. You could not believe they let you get away with this.

You kept walking backwards, and when your back hit against someone's front, you jumped.

"It's me." Player 001's voice was right in your ear. He grabbed your hand and pulled you behind him. Protecting you again.

-----

"What were you thinking?!" Once the guards had left, In-ho didn't let go of your hand, he pulled you to your bunk with him. He was furious at you for risking your life like that.

"I don't know, I wasn't thinking." You answered him honestly.

"That is clear. That was so stupid, (Y/N)."

"Don't call me stupid."

"Don't be stupid and I won't."

You huffed, crossing your arms as you sat on the side of your bed. "After we lost the vote, I had to try something. I'm not going to make it through another game, I know it. I'm dying tomorrow. That was my last chance to escape."

"I told you, I won't let anything happen to you."

"I know you did, and you got me through today. But we don't know what's coming tomorrow. You can't guarantee that."

Yes I can. He thought, but he couldn't tell you that, not yet. Instead, he let out a deep breath and crouched down in front of you, placing his hands on your knees. He tried to catch your eyes, but you avoided looking at him. "Hey," His hand grabbed your chin, halting your movements and forcing you to look at him. "I can keep you safe if you're next to me. But, with what you did just then to the guards. I have much less of a chance of keeping you safe." But still a chance, he was the Frontman after all. "Do you understand?" He was trying to let you know you would be okay, his role was high and important here.

Plus, after learning Gi-hun's plan for tonight, he had his own plan to finally get you out.

-----

Bullets were flying everywhere, it was chaos, it was loud, it was a war-zone. The third war-zone you'd experienced today. First, it was the game, Mingle. Second, when everyone had started attacking each other when the lights went out. You had hid next to Player 001 during that, your eyes squeezed shut, head tucked away in his neck with his arm around you and his hands covering your ears. Third, was now this. Player 456's plan to take over the games, find the Frontman and end all of this.

Through all of it, In-ho had made sure you were by his side. Currently you were between him and Player 388, who was about to go and get more bullets.

"Dae-ho, are you okay?" You leaned in closer to ask him, you could see on your friends face he wasn't handling this well. He had become more quiet, his face turned pale. You experienced your own panic attack earlier today and you were sure he about too as well.

"Yes." He answered you quietly. It wasn't believable.

Everyone else was too distracted by the fight, busy shooting the guards, but you felt concern for your friend. "I'll go back with yo-"

"No." In-ho interrupted you then, his voice demanding. You turned to look at him and his face was deadly serious. "You are staying with me." He was so close to getting you out, he wouldn't let you go back now. Especially not when bullets were shooting everywhere and you could get hit.

"But, he-"

"He will be fine."

You clenched your jaw tight then.

"(Y/N)," Dae-ho called your name and you turned to look at him, concern displayed all over your face for him. "It's okay, stay here with Young-il. It'll be easier for just one of us to go back than both of us."

You nodded and then leant forward to hug him. "Please be careful."

"I will, you too." He pulled back from the hug to look at you. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay."

In-ho watched you watch him retreat back. He saw the worry on your face, he knew you cared for him and it made him sick with jealousy. He couldn't wait to get you on your own.

"(Y/N), we have to move now."

Player 456 & 390 went one way while you and Player 001 went another.

He kept his body in a place where it would shield you from the direction the guards were shooting from. Although it seemed that the bullets coming in your direction had significantly lessened. Maybe more guards were on the side Gi-hun had taken.

You hoped they were going to be okay.

Each time you reached a new path that broke off into more than one direction, Player 001 chose which way to go so confidently. You were starting to get anxious at the idea of getting closer to where the people who ran these games were.

"Young-il," you reached out for his hand to stop him.

He halted and immediately turned to you. "Have you been shot?" His eyes scanned over your body, searching for blood.

"No, no," you shook your head. "What's going to happen when we find the people who run this?" You spoke with a panicked tone.

He held your eye contact for a few moments before answering you. "You already have." He admitted.

"What-" Before you had a chance to question or even fully process what he had said, he pulled you into him and kissed you. You allowed him to, more than allowed, you completely welcomed it. Your heart instantly speeding up at the feeling of his skilled mouth on yours.

You were so distracted you didn't see him reach into his pocket for the syringe, he almost felt bad at how easy this was. Almost. He didn't because he had convinced himself this was going to be best for you.

When the needle pricked into your skin, you broke apart from him with a gasp, but his strong arm kept you in place.

"You'll be okay." Was what he told you as your vision very quickly blurred, your body going limp in his hold around you. He scooped you up into this arms.

You attempted to speak, to say anything at all, but you were fast succumbing to what had been injected into you. All you managed to do was let out a little whimper.

"Shh, (Y/N)." In-ho said into your ear, and everything started to go black for you. "Enjoy your rest, baby."

[starzify]

pain *ೃ༄

pairing sam x angel!reader

warnings smut | fingering | p in v unprotected (wrap it before you tap it HAHA) | reader is innocent

MASTERLIST

You’ve been grumpy all day, unsure of the reason but pondering the rush that filled your blood whenever you kissed Sam, puzzled by this new different sort of heat that you've been feeling lately. Your panties have been a little wetter than normal when you'd come home and you thought it was some kind of illness.

Sam on the other hand was far from innocent, he knew exactly what you were feeling. He liked having you as his little angel. After all, he looked huge besides you, making his desire of touching you increase more and more.

You had very serious attachment issues, needing to be close to him at all times to be fully fulfilled and happy. Even though he tried to use that as an advantage, you were not very fond to touch him sexually. Whenever he'd take a step further, you would just push his hand away or make up an excuse. Maybe because you felt a little dirty, a little naughty. Angel and sex being in the same sentence never made sense to you. It also didn't help that he looked giant beside you. No matter how powerful and strong you were, you felt like he could easily crush you whole with his hand if he really wanted to.

Though you were both happy in this relationship, Sam wanted to move a little forward. He wanted to feel you and your body. But he never did, afraid it would demolish your innocence and your fragility. what you didn't know at the time was that his hands would easily help cure your little "illness".

"Alright, lets go home" he said taking you by the waist after you'd shown Dean some attitude which was not very usual of you. "Why?!” you whined, annoyed with his bossiness. “Baby, come on.” You gave in, following him to the door of the apartment. The walk home was rather odd. When a girl gave you a disgusted glance at you, you were fed up. “Fuck yo-“ your sentence got cut short when your boyfriend picked you up and put you over his shoulders, something that happened more often than you would think. "What is up with your attitude recently?" he questioned his sweet and fragile girlfriend that had recently developed a strange habit of taking back.

You were now sitting on Sam’s lap reflecting about what just happened. He would never admit it but your usual straddle of his lap would always leave him rock hard. At first, he would just try to hide it but after seeing that you were rather naive, he never really hid it anymore. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he questioned after a long minute of silence "it’s just embarrassing" "Why would it be embarrassing, baby? You can tell me anything." You sighed "It’s just that…i've been feeling hot lately. Especially when i see you or when you kiss me. When i get home and go to the bathroom, I’m all soaked down there" You began sobbing in the crook of Sam’s shoulder, convinced that something was wrong with you. Sam, on the other hand, had a huge smirk on his face. Who would've thought that his ego would go up in less than 5 minutes?

"Where does it hurt baby? Here?" He asked, putting a hand on your stomach. "Lower" He lowered his hand, playing with the waistband of your shorts. "Can i take these off?" You nodded. That action reveals the sight of your glistening pussy, something he had never seen before but certainly fantasized about. You unexpectedly take his hand and place it right on top of your clit, throwing your head back and moaning at the slight touch. Sam knew your vessel wasn’t a virgin but you mentally were. “Let’s go to my room." He whispered, taking your hand and leading you to your room. He shut the door behind him. "Do you wanna learn how to relieve this feeling, baby? I can teach you.” Your legs trembled as you eagerly nodded. You both sat on the bed, facing your front to the mirror. "Open your legs, sweetheart" He whispered in your ear, giving you goosebumps on your skin. "There are plenty of ways to feel good. You can do it like this…" He muttered, rubbing your clit slowly as you let out a sigh of relief. “You can do this too…" He teased a finger to your core before entering it, pumping it in and out of you which elicited a moan from you. “You wanna learn more?" He offered and you nodded eagerly.

And there you were, watching him layed down on the bed with his massive cock sprung out. "It won’t fit, Sam" you said concernedly, examining his length. “Come on, you haven’t even tried the best part yet. You’ll feel so much better, my love." He beckoned you to come over and you listened to him, crawling on top of him and aligning his dick with your wet entrance. "Just sit on it, trust me.” He looked at you with reassuring eyes and that’s what did it for you. You nervously lowered yourself onto him, letting out a moan that’s almost pornographic. "It’s too big, i can’t do it.” You only had the tip in but that already too much for you. "That’s just the tip, baby. You’re not even halfway there." You exhaled, sinking down completely. “There you go…” He smiled proudly. “My beautiful girl took all of my cock huh?” You stayed silent, trying to catch your breath first. You felt a stinging pain, falling forward on his chest. “You gotta move baby” he whispered in your ear.

You started to bounce up and down his cock, loud moans escaping from your mouth each time you made a movement in the slightest. He loved the sight of you being cockdrunk and he would pay any amount of money just to see it for the first time again. You quickly switched positions, him being on top of you. The movement of his hips speeded up. “Sam!” You cried out as you felt the knot in your stomach tighten. “Shit!” He exclaimed, pulling out and releasing himself on your tits. He laid down beside you as you both panted. “Did I fix the pain, angel?”

tags: @ultravi0lence14 @bluemerakis @frosttbitessam @lanadelreyscokewhor3 @beausling @figthoughts @deansbeer @deanangel @titsout4jackles @haunteres @inspiredangel @pointocean @whisperingdaze @misatxox

cassie chats: sam x angel!reader is so underrated what the flip dude 🙁

[enwoso]

Can you do one where Tiny gets tackled at football badly and Less has to stop Leah fighting a 4 year old and the ref 🤣

NOT ON MY WATCH | alessia russo x child!reader x leah williamson

grumpy masterlist

saturday mornings were always a whirlwind of activity in the russo household. the crisp air, the smell of freshly cut grass and the distant sound of cheering were the hallmark of football day.

as always on a saturday morning, alessia alongside leah for swapping their football boots for warm coats and gloves as they stood on the sidelines of a football pitch clutching warm drinks as they watched you play in your mini five aside game.

you'd always inherit your mummy's love for the game, you basically eat, sleep and breath football. granted it took a little more persuasion with the help of your little furry friend, benny the hamster, that leah pulled through with much to alessia dislike as to how much she could now hear that stupid hamster wheel through the night.

but nevertheless you were running up and down the pitch in your red and white predator boots with a determined expression painted across your face as you chased the ball with fierce concentration.

alessia beamed with pride every time you got involved in the action it much better to see you actually play than to pick the daisy's out the ground...

whereas leah, as always the competitive one was practically coaching you from the sidelines.

"come on tiny! push up! get to the ball!" leah shouted her voice louder than most of the parents as she flapped her arms around to show her intentions.

alessia nudged leah who was standing next to her, grinning, "relax babe, she's four. she's there to have fun. she's not playing for the lionesses" alessia teased.

"yet! she's not playing for them yet. but the little one has got talent! i'm just giving her a helping hand to help her reach her full potential." leah shot back with a smirk as she went back to yelling and flapping her arms around like a bird.

the game was fast paced and you were holding your own until, out of nowhere one the kids on the opposing team went in hard for the ball.

it wasn't a cleaner challenge by all means, it was a full on clumsy tackle. you went flying, landing in a heap on the grass.

alessia felt her heart stop as her throat went dry for a minute. you sat up, your bottom lip trembling as you looked around in confusion before bursting into tears.

alessia immediately moved to step forward but she wasn't quick enough. leah was already on the field pointing her finger as her face was filled with fury.

"leah!" alessia hissed, chasing after her.

leah stormed over to the child responsible, who was all of four years old and looked slightly alarmed as leah folded her arms across her chest.

"oi! what was that? you can't just go tackling people like that! she's tiny!" leah said her voice filled with authority as you were being helping back to your feet by your teammates.

the little boy in question who was now definitely regretting his decision blinked up at leah, wide eyed. "it- it was an accident" he squeaked.

"an accident? that didn't look like an accident to me!" leah shot back as she pointed dramatically to you as you were being comforted by your coach.

the referee, a teenager who looked like he'd much rather be anywhere else and most definitely just there for the few extra bucks it gave him, hurried over. "um excuse me, miss, you can't just-"

"and you!" leah spun on her heel, the little boy rushing off as leah cut the ref off mid sentence. "are you even watchin' the game? that was a clear foul! your supposed to protect the players you know!"

the referee's face flushed. "it's just a kids game miss. calm down-"

"calm down?! my girlfriend's daughter has just been basically flattened! how am i supposed to-"

"leah williamson!!" alessia interrupted, grabbing leah by the arm and pulling her back. "the kids four. your yelling at a four year old and the ref too. seriously?"

leah blinked, suddenly aware of the scene she was causing. parents on the sidelines were staring, some trying their best not to laugh, others looking concerned. alessia dragging leah off the pitch as she stopped back at their place on the sidelines looking the girl in the eye.

"babe, i know your upset. but lovies fine. she's tough, just like her mum." alessia said her voice calming but also firm. "let it go before you end up banned from mini-football and end up being slagged off in the parents groupchat."

leah hesitated, glancing back at the little boy who looked like he may start crying at any moment and then to the referee who was trying to organise the game so the restart could happen as he was probably wishing he had never agreed to the job.

finally leah sighed and nodded as her shoulders relaxed. "fine," she muttered, allowing alessia to hand her back her cup of coffee she's palaces down on the grass in a hurry. "but if he tackles her again, i'm not holding back."

"easy tiger. now we're gonna watch the rest of the game quietly, okay?" alessia said seriously trying her best to hide her grin.

leah held her hands up in surrender, "i'll be good. promise"

meanwhile you were back in your feet, your tears long gone as you wiped your face with the back to your hands and rejoined the game with the same determined energy you'd had before. alessia pointing you out to leah.

"see? she's already back out there. she's fine."

leah sighed, a small smile tugging at her lips. "yeah she's a little fighter. guess she doesn't need me losing my head for her."

"exactly, save yourself the trouble of the names you'd be called in the parents groupchat.." alessia trailed off a teasing smirk as leah shot her an intrigued look.

"like what?"

alessia waved it off as leah tried to get an answer from her but alessia stayed tight lipped, "besides, your scary enough to keep an entire under 5s team in line."

leah laughed, wrapping an arm around alessia's waist as they watched you chase the ball down the field, "scary? nah, just protective."

alessia smiled as she leant into her girlfriend, "she's lucky to have you."

"and you," leah replied, kissing alessia's temple.

the game ended with your team celebrating the their victory. you running over to them with your signature grin as you held up your little trophy, as well as a participation medal as your mummy scooped you up in her arms showering you with kisses as leah ruffled your hair.

"oh lovie you were so good out there, me and le are so proud of you." alessia grinned as she placed you back on the ground as you immediately went to take your shin pads out your socks.

"our little superstar, you were brilliant!" leah smiled ruffling your hair once again as you passed your shin pads to your mummy to hold along with your trophy.

"thanks!" you giggled, then looking up to leah your expression changing to a more serious look, "why were you shouting at the boy and the ref?"

alessia raised an eyebrow a teasing grin on her lips as she waited for leah to explain herself. leah scratched the back of her neck sheepishly. "uh, just.. makin' sure they know not to mess with you.."

you titled your head, "oh okay. but i can do that you know!"

alessia smile changed to a proud one as she nudged leah as a small giggled left her lips as she reached down to kiss your cheek, "see, that's my girl!"

[stellamarielu]

breaking the rules

declan o’hara x female reader

summary: declan can’t stop thinking about his daughter’s best friend, and it doesn’t help when he overhears her talking about how she’s never been satisfied in the bedroom

content: nsfw, 18+, cursing, kinda pervy!declan, mentions of male masturbation, talks of female orgasms, just lots of yearning temptation and dirty scenarios, no actual sex happening here but still smutty

author’s note: writing best friend’s dad!declan is always calling my name and i’m just a girl with a dilf obsession! also this takes place after maud leaves and our man is lonely and in need of some attention

-

“Oh come on Taggie I’ve been waiting for weeks!” You were trying to keep your voice down but couldn’t help the way it came out in a hushed yell.

You and your best friend were sharing a throw blanket on her living room couch, sitting side by side under the warmth of the crocheted material. The television was on, the quiet hum and bright colors filled the old room of the priory but neither of you were paying any attention to it. The cheesy rom-com playing out on the tv made for the perfect background noise to your giggles and gossip. You’d been going for hours, talking about everything under the sun like two teenage girls at a slumber party. It was nearly 1 in the morning, and you were still going strong, the current topic up for discussion was her rather scandalous relationship with Rupert Campbell-Black. 

That’s when Declan had finally had enough of the noise coming from downstairs. He hadn’t slept more than an hour before he was woken up by the sound of his daughter and her best friend cackling. He tried ignoring it- even placing a pillow over his head to drown out the laughter, but here he was 55 minutes later and still not sleeping. So, he drug himself out of bed and threw on an old pair of sweatpants, not bothering with a shirt as he began his descent down the stairs to put an end to your fun. Only, he was stopped just one step shy of the living room doorway when he heard his friends name.

“Is Rupert good in bed?” 

He immediately recognized the voice as yours, familiar with the cheery tone that’s constantly filling the walls of his home.

“I mean he must be right? Compared to Ralphie?”

Declan didn’t like where this conversation was going. The less he knew about his daughter’s relations the better. While the topic was making him increasingly uncomfortable, he couldn’t hide his desire to know if Rupert had gone behind his back and touched her. He’s debating turning around and going back upstairs when he hears Taggie’s soft plea.

“Oh my God keep your voice down!” 

She’s much quieter than you, her words merely a whisper.

“We’ve literally just kissed the one time.”

Declan feels a massive weight lifting off his shoulders as Taggie speaks. A kiss was still infuriating and worth interrogating Rupert over, but he couldn’t have handled hearing anything more than that. 

“Tag. That was like two weeks ago.”

There’s your voice again. You’re trying to keep your volume down, but you’re still far louder than his daughter. 

“You’re telling me nothing else has happened? God Tag, I wouldn’t be able to keep it in my pants if I were you.” 

Taggie was laughing at your comment. Her giggle reminding Declan of the reason he was currently hiding outside his own living room. He was there to tell the two of you to keep the noise down, but had somehow found himself eavesdropping instead. The sudden guilt he felt as he listened to the gossip that wasn’t meant for his ears settled in and he turned on his heels to sneak back up the stairs. He was taking his first step away from your conversation when his ears began to burn at the words whispered from your lips. 

“I mean he’s attractive, his body is insane, and he would literally do anything for you. Even the way he looks at you is hot. If I were you, I’d be on that in like half a second.” 

“I’d be on that.” The words ring in Declan’s ears and he can’t help but picture you on top of him- straddling his waist. God he was sick, he had to stop thinking about you like that. You were Taggie’s best friend for Christ sake. 

Lately every time you were around- which was nearly all the time, Declan could hardly look you in the eye. He was ashamed of his little crush on you, but as much as he tried to push it away, it always found him late at night when he was alone in bed. There was so much about you that drew him in; your witty humor, your confidence, your endearing smile, your ass when you wore that one pair of jeans he liked so much. He just couldn’t get you off his mind. Now you were sitting in his living room talking about how much you wanted to mount Rupert Campbell-Black.

“I bet he is good in bed.”

You’re speculating and he can hear Taggie giggling and telling you to shut up. He knows for a fact her face is red in embarrassment. 

“I mean there’s no way he’s bad. Not with all that experience.”

You’re ignoring Taggie’s protests as you continue theorizing about Declan’s best friend’s sex life. 

“He probably knows exactly what he’s doing.”

Declan can hear a rustling noise and assumes Taggie must’ve hit you with a throw pillow. 

“Maybe I need to find an experienced older man of my own. I swear all these guys our age don’t know what the fuck they’re doing, I’m tired of faking orgasms.”

You were giggling but Declan could hear a hint of defeat in your words, his dick stirring in his sweats at hearing the word orgasm come out of your mouth. 

“They can’t all be that bad, what about the guy from last weekend? He seemed sweet.” Taggie chimed in, causing him to come back to reality.

Last weekend? Come to think of it Declan couldn’t recall seeing you at their house like he did most Saturday nights. He remembered Taggie coming home late and mentioning the two of you had spent a few hours at bar sinister over a bottle of chardonnay, but you were nowhere to be seen. 

“Yeah, sweet doesn’t account for bedroom prowess.” You were correcting your friend’s innocent remark.

“So it wasn’t good then?” 

“It was fine.” You sounded rather underwhelmed as you recounted your one-night stand.

“I think I’ve just given up hope that a man can get me off.” The dissapointment in your voice was undeniable as you whispered.

“Maybe I’m just broken.” You forced a laugh attempting to bring humor back into the mix. 

Declan couldn’t deny the anger he felt as you divulged your issue aloud sitting on his living room couch. Those pricks don’t deserve you. They don’t deserve to have you in their beds, getting their dicks wet at the expense of your dissatisfaction. 

“That’s why you need to speed things up with Rupert and tell me all about your adventures in the bedroom so I can live vicariously through you.” 

God he couldn’t bear to hear Rupert’s name in the context of his daughter’s sex life one more time. In fact, he couldn’t bear to listen to anything else regarding either one of your sex lives. 

He already knew he would be worked up for weeks just thinking about the fact that you were waiting around for someone to fuck you properly. 

It was going to torture him now– watching you waltzing in his front door with all that pent up frustration and knowing he could relieve you of the pressure with just the touch of his fingers. He already thought about making you come. He thought about it at least once a week with his hand wrapped around his dick. Envisioning you underneath him, chest heaving and eyes rolling back into your head with your pretty lips all pouted. He would bring himself to completion just from the mere idea of what you sounded like when you came undone. It was truly sick the way he would pump his cock until it was spilling over his fist, imagining such twisted fantasies starring his daughter’s best friend. 

He had to excuse himself from the hallway before he heard anything else that would fuel his forbidden desire. Taking a small step backwards toward the stairs, the weight of Declan’s foot caused the old wood floors to creak. He paused his movement, cursing himself for making a noise that could blow his cover. 

The halt of whispers and giggles coming from the living room let declan know you girls had heard the squeak from the doorway.

He tried his best to float into the room, making it look as if he had just walked down the stairs. 

“Oh god sorry. Were we being loud?” 

Taggie looked absolutely mortified to see her father standing before them given the last few minutes of conversation.

“It’s alright, just came down to grab some water.” He lied.

“didn’t realize you girls were in here.” Another lie.

He wanted to remain as nonchalant as possible. After overhearing all the sex talk, it was best for him not to mention you were so loud that he couldn’t sleep. The last thing he wanted was to make Taggie uncomfortable, or worse- her try to convince him that Rupert wasn’t a first-class rake at one in the morning. 

“We were just gonna go to bed.” Taggie’s cheeks were pink, and her voice was quiet.

Declan let his eyes wander over to you, just for one second– no half a second. But it was enough time for him to see the oversized t-shirt that was hanging off your shoulder exposing the curve of your neck. Unlike Taggie’s embarrassed demeanor you looked much more relaxed, maybe even a little relieved to see the man awake and shirtless in the doorway. He even caught the beginning of a smirk slipping onto your lips when he averted his gaze back to his daughter. 

“all good, just make sure you turn off the tv.” He was motioning to the romcom that neither of you had watched a single minute of that was now nearing it’s end. He raised his hand in a small wave as he continued to the kitchen, not letting his daughter get another word in. 

He was quick getting a glass and filling it with tap water, even taking a swig and attempting to allow the cool liquid to refresh his mind from the filthy thoughts of you still swimming in his brain. Only, it didn’t help much seeing as though he caught another glimpse of you on his way back to the stairs. You and Taggie had now given up on gossiping after nearly getting caught, and settled on watching the last bit of your movie in silence. You were snuggled into the side of the couch, your head resting against one hand playing with your hair and the other toying with the collar of your shirt that was hanging so low that it let declan get a good look at the top of your chest. There was absolutely no reason for him to find you so irresistible while doing nothing out of the ordinary, but he still found his heart racing in his chest at the sight of you.

He had to force his feet up the stairs to get him away before you had a more depraved effect on him, something other than just a quickening pulse.  

After getting back to his bedroom, declan tried everything to get you off his mind. He tossed and turned under his covers, chugged the rest of his water, smoked a cigarette down to the filter, read a few chapters of the book on his bedside table, but none of it stopped the images of you playing in his head- images of you in his bed, back arched while he knelt between your legs.

He was lying awake and staring at the ceiling, the only thing occupying his mind were the filthy visions of you. He was starting to think he would never sleep again and It didn’t help that the tv was still playing downstairs. The hum of some old sitcom carrying all the way upstairs making it impossible for Declan to drift off. It had been at least an hour since his little adventure downstairs and he was beginning to think the two of you would never go to sleep. 

finally having had enough of the noise, he stood up out of bed on a mission to tell you to go to bed and finally get to the end of this sleepless night. He was walking straight down the dark hallway but stopped abruptly at the stairs.

You were walking up as he was walking down- the two of you bumping into one another. His hands instinctively reaching out to hold your arms, steadying you in front of him. 

“Oh fuck- sorry.” The profanity slips out of your mouth at the shock of running into Declan’s hard, shirtless chest. 

He can’t help but chuckle at the curse, he doesn’t think he’s ever heard you say the word fuck. Something about it turns him on– God dammit he needs to get a grip. 

“I was just comin’ to tell you girls to get some sleep.” His voice is raspy and his hold on your arms is soft. 

“Tag fell asleep, and I couldn’t get comfy on the little sliver of couch she left me.” You were whispering and declan could barely see you in the dark but he could hear the smile in your voice. 

“I was just gonna crash in her room.” You motion to the first door at the top of the stairs that belonged to Taggie, just a few feet away from Declan’s. 

“Yeah of course.” He dropped his grip on you and took a small step to the side allowing you to walk past him. 

Your hand reaches for the doorknob of Taggie’s bedroom, but you stop.

“Sorry if we kept you up.” 

You look over to declan who was still standing at the stairs. He’s brushing off your apology with a wave of his hand. 

“You know me and my big mouth- I have a hard time keeping quiet.”

Declan has to keep his hands from clenching into fists at your words. a hard time keeping quiet God he wished he could test that out for himself. See if you could keep quiet while he fucked you nice and hard, holding your mouth shut to keep the moans from spilling out.

“How much of our conversation did you hear earlier, you know when you came down for water?” thankfully your voice pulled Declan from the obscene image of you currently playing in his head. 

For some reason he didn’t feel the need to lie to you.

“Enough to know my daughter is kissing Rupert Campbell-Black.” His response is point-blank.

You let out a deep sigh. Now thanks to you and your inability to keep your voice down, Taggie’s relationship with Rupert was probably ruined.

“Are you mad at her?”

“Not so much her as him.” He sounds disappointed as his whisper carries across the hall. 

“He’s a real piece of shit you know?” He makes sure to keep his voice low so the sleeping girl downstairs has no chance at hearing his words.

“I thought he was your best friend.”

You know he probably can’t see it, but you raise an eyebrow in question as you try to understand why Declan would say such a thing about someone so close to him.

“He is, which is how I know his intentions with women are never innocent.”

You went quiet.

Declan didn’t want to talk about Rupert- not right now. It was the middle of the night. He could not be faced with the moral dilemma of watching his daughter pine after his best-friend. Not while he was already faced with the equally moral issue of his daughter’s best friend being the reason he hadn’t slept all night.

And just like that, he was thinking about you again. Thinking about how your t-shirt covered your tiny little pajama shorts– so much so that they were hidden completely.

“As much as you may think older, more experienced men are better than the sleazy guys your own age, I can assure you they’re not.”

You freeze at his words. Is he referring to your earlier conversation with his daughter? The one where you were talking about guys your age “not knowing what the fuck they’re doing”. Had he heard you talking about your recent habit of faking orgasms? You almost bring your hands up to hide your face in embarrassment. 

“Not men like Rupert anyway.” 

Or him he thinks as declan reminds himself of his reoccurring unsavory thoughts about the younger woman standing just a few feet away.

“Right, well I’ll let tag know he’s an asshole then.” You’re speaking quickly hoping to put an end to the conversation so you can run into taggies room and escape the humiliation illuminating the hallway.

“Sorry to hear about the bloke from last weekend.” Declan’s changing the subject, keeping you from leaving. 

“I hate that a clever girl like yourself is wasting so much time on foolish little boys.” 

He’s taking casual steps toward you as he speaks, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Declan has no idea what he’s doing. All he knows is he doesn’t want you to open that door. He doesn’t want you to leave him standing alone in the hallway thinking about everything he wanted to do to you, wishing he could touch you– kiss you. 

“Yeah well, it’s that or nothing.” You’re joking, trying to remain friendly. You can’t figure out the reason Declan is bringing up this part of you and Taggie’s exchange.

“not nothing.” 

He’s close to you now, just an arm’s length away and his voice is enticing. 

“I’m sure there are lots of men out there who would bend over backwards to treat you the way you deserve to be treated- to give you the things you need.” 

Your jaw drops slightly at his words. he definitely heard you talking about your inability to orgasm with your recent hook-ups and now he’s directly referring to it. 

You had somehow found yourself standing a foot away from your best friends dad at 2 in the morning and the sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. His bare chest just within reach of your fingertips; you could feel the warmth radiating from his body and smell the mint of his toothpaste on his breath. It all felt so wrong, like you were breaking the rules. 

“Well you’ll have to let me know where they’re hiding. I’ve yet to find one who knows how to treat me the way I deserve to be treated.”

You put an emphasis on the phrase he used, treat you the way you deserve to be treated aka- actually able to make you come.

He looks taken aback by your confession. 

“not one?” 

You’re shaking your head in response to his curiosity.

“you’ve never been with a man who’s made you come?” he’s clarifying his question, and he sounds genuinely stunned. 

“Correct.” Your voice is soft as you reply and a beat of silence passes between the two of you.

“I don’t even know how we started talking about this. I should go to bed, goodnight Mr. O’Hara.” 

You’re whispering quickly, flustered knowing that Declan is now privy to your shameful sex life. You’re confused why he brought it up, and you’re even more confused by his sudden flirtatious demeanor. You must be reading the situation wrong because there’s no way Declan O’Hara wants you in that way–right? It’s Taggie’s dad. Taggie’s hot dad. Shit- you need to go to bed. Maybe a few hours of sleep will help wipe this whole conversation from your memory.

Taggie’s bedroom door is creaking open as you turn the knob, but before you can take a step inside Declan’s hand is reaching for your arm. It was the second time tonight you felt his gentle touch on your bicep, and it made your face feel hot. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” His words are kind and sincere.

“You shouldn’t even be embarrassed.” His voice is just so gentle.

You turn to face him and realize how close you are, just inches away from his face.

“Those fuckin’ idiots who don’t know how to touch you properly should be embarrassed.”

it’s dark but you can make out the expression on his face– it’s serious, his eyes intently watching you.

it’s silent for a moment, both of you staring at each other in the dark. his hold on your arm loosens and he lets his hand lightly trace the length of your arm.

“You’re a beautiful girl you know.” His voice is light and airy as his fingertips tickle your skin.

“I don’t think those boys could even handle being with a woman like you.”

His touch is getting lower and lower on your arm.

“Maybe you’re right, maybe you do need to find yourself an older man.”

his hand finds the hem of your t-shirt nearly brushing the skin of your exposed thigh.

“Declan.”

You can’t tell if your murmuring his name as a warning or a plea, but the way your almost whining has you thinking it must be the latter option.

“Not Mr. O’Hara?” There’s a smile in his words.

His fingertips come in contact with your upper thigh and your breath hitches. You think about telling him to stop, reminding him how angry Taggie would be about this, but you don’t. You don’t say a single word. Instead you let out a sigh of relief desperately hoping he keeps touching you.

“Do you want me to touch you like this.”

You’re silently nodding, giving him permission to do whatever he wants to you. It feels so corrupt having his fingertips dancing at the hem of your pajama shorts, but you can’t think of anything you wanted more than to have his hand between your legs. 

“Use your words love.”

Declan’s urging you to verbally consent, partially because he wants you to be sure and another part because he needs the satisfaction of hearing you beg for him. 

“Yes.”

Your back is arching causing your body to push into him. He never could’ve imagined you’d feel so delicate against him. Your body was so warm, so gentle, so pleasant, so new.

“I want it, please Declan.” You’d never called him by his first name before tonight, always Mr. O’Hara. 

The sound of you whimpering his name has Declan eager to hear what it would sound like to have you screaming it. He’s starting to pull the barely-there material of your shorts to the side when a distant sound has you both frozen.

It’s the unmistakable creak of someone walking up the stairs, wood squeaking underneath footsteps. In an unspoken agreement you’re both turning opposite directions and quietly turning doorknobs. He’s sneaking back into his bedroom and you’re tiptoeing into Taggie’s.

Your light feet carry you to Taggie’s bed and you’re jumping into the sheets making yourself look cozy. Her steps are heavy and her eyes are barely open as Taggie comes walking into her bedroom not long after you.

“Remind me to never fall asleep on that couch again.” She’s yawning as she crawls into bed next to you.

“So uncomfy.”

She’s settling under the covers and you’re glad the room is dark so she can’t see how wide awake you are.

“Sorry, you looked so peaceful, I didn’t wanna wake you.” You whisper back to your friend as she’s dozing off.

You just lay there next to her. There’s no way in hell you’ll be able to sleep. Not after the way her dad was just speaking to you in the hallway. The way his hands were touching you; so close to doing something neither of you could take back. You wondered what he must be thinking right now. Was he laying in bed thinking about you like you were thinking about him? Did he regret it? You sure didn’t, not one bit. In fact, all you wanted to do was sneak across the hall into Declan’s room and finish what he started.

my masterlist

[causenessus]

in every universe. | nakahara chuuya

chuuya x gn!reader

written in 2nd person :3

"i'd give the world to her, as long as my heart's still beating, as long as she's next to me, because I like her." -> 20191009 i like her by (mac demarco)

2.7k words

notes: use of pet names sweetheart/doll (for reader) and love/darling (for chuuya), established relationship, a lot of flirting and teasing on both ends because they love each other and can handle it, chuuya cursing, chuuya being head over heels for reader, gifting giving as a love language taken to the MAX, just two people being bookworms :3 i hope you enjoy! the bookstore they go to (spoiler alert) is very much based off of a bookstore i went to while visiting my mango anon, so i dedicate this work to her <3

nakahara chuuya who never had time to read or stop to take a breath until he met you. in the sheep, even when he was first taken in, he soon began to help on food runs. once they found out about his ability, there was never a day he got to catch a true break. then joining the mafia kept him busy, and what he few things he did read were half-assed reports or those typed by someone who obviously should have been a novelist rather than a mafia lackey.

for him, there was no middle between never reading and reading something that made him want to set the paper in his hands on fire. but that didn't mean he outright hated the idea of it. he liked the idea of books and the stores and libraries that were filled with shelves of thread-bound tens or hundreds of sheets of paper from every decade of the world; some having recently found their way onto a shelf while others had been printed, placed on shelves, and traded hands for centuries. he liked the idea of the worlds each of the books contained, the different stories they all told, and the inferences and messages people would take with them after finishing a book.

once, he’d been trailing a target who'd entered a nearby bookstore to browse their selection. he'd done his own bit of wandering, mainly to fit in with the atmosphere until it became less of an act and something more genuine—a few covers would catch his eye and he’d felt tempted to pull them off the shelf and buy them right then and there before he remembered what he was here for. but that interaction had been his first experience with the allure of books; it wasn't really something he'd learned in that moment, but, more precisely, from you.

you, who would get too caught up in a book until he'd called your name for the umpteenth time, not angry, but worried about why you weren't responding to him. he'd feared you were purposely ignoring him and was unsure of what he’d done until you’d silenced his concerns with a laugh. when he'd settled onto the couch next to you after finally getting your attention, you'd climbed on top of him, pressing a kiss to his lips, "i'm not mad. i was just reading a good book, i promise."

a book had the ability to distract you that much?

"i just get lost in books sometimes—too focused on what’s happening in the world within them. that's what a good book does," you explained further, his hands trailing down to settle on your sides, pulling you close and flush against him.

he hummed, processing your words. it sounded like an interesting experience and anything you liked he was bound to like, right? the only kind of book he didn't want to read was a mystery. he had enough of that kind of shit in his everyday life when he had to figure out where the hell his rookies went off to every day–not to mention that cursed book he'd been trapped into by that detective boy from the agency several months ago.

a few days after your explanation, he was taking you out on his day off when you both passed the bookstore he'd previously found himself in on that last mission. recognizing the sign that hung on the wall above the store, his feet almost stopped as if he was feeling a pull to return back to the store before he ignored the feeling. noticing his interest in the bookstore, you’d squeezed his hand. "hey, I wanna go in there. can we?" you asked, tilting your head while pointing to the store.

he'd never been able to resist that sweet smile of yours and this is–of course–his day to spoil you, but he still can’t help but tease you a little bit first, "huh? you don't have enough books already?"

you pout, already settled on your decision as you begin tugging him towards the entrance of the store, "how rude! never say that to a bookworm. there's no such thing as having too many books."

"yeah, yeah, sorry." he rolls his eyes half heartedly, but he doesn’t put the effort to tease you above making it to the door before you do, holding it open before walking in after you.

the bookstore is worn, the small bell at the edge of the door more of a dusty bronze than a gold, showing its age. the floorboards have started to bow with how many seasons of cold and warm temperatures they’ve been through and they creak loudly, flattening back into their original flush position whenever he steps on them. there's a large dark walnut wooden ladder reaching the shelves of the store's abnormally high ceiling, looking as cliché as it gets, yet it was the first thing he noticed upon entering the store weeks ago and it’s one of his favorite touches to the store even now.

he almost protests when your fingers slip out of his as you run off to admire in awe a row of books that adorn the top of a piano, but he smiles at the look of wonder in your eyes that only grows when you turn to the left to see a staircase descending down.

"chuuya! look! they have a lower floor!" you say, straightening back up to point at the stairs, looking at him.

he's shoved his hands in his pockets, finally making it back to you after you’d run off and now he's staring you down with a look in his eyes that makes you melt and drop your arm shyly under his adoring gaze, "yeah, you just noticed, sweetheart?"

"well– not a lot of bookstores have something like this," you purse your lips, looking down at the floor, "you're acting like you've been here before."

"i have," he replies, arm coming around your shoulder to guide you to the staircase, where he knows you want to go. you look up at him in surprise as you begin descending the broad wooden planks and he shrugs, "was following someone last week and they came in here. spent like an hour walking around...they must've been a bookworm like you."

you giggle at his words, leaning closer into his touch, pressing a chaste kiss to the underside of his jaw, nuzzling your nose into the side of his neck before pulling away. "well, now you're going to have to watch me wander around this bookstore. don't go too far, alright?"

"says you," he sighs, shaking his head as you run off the moment you reach the bottom of the stairs to the nearest bookshelf. while you spend a few minutes observing every spine lined up in front of you, he begins to wander around on his own, trying to find the books he'd looked at last week. there was no harm in it, right? it looked weirder if he just stood around in the middle of the store waiting for his sweet partner to be done. although, another unique touch to the bookstore was a small projector that hung from the ceiling of the basement of the bookstore. it was casting an old black and white film onto a side of a wall, where a few rows of seats had been placed for anyone wanting to sit for a moment.

but he didn't need to pretend he was here for a reason, he’d wanted to come in here just as much as you did even if he wouldn’t admit it. he soon found himself searching the shelves too, gloves trailing along the edges of several book's spines, ever so often stopping to pull one that stood out to him.

a blow against the shell of his ear makes him jump and he spins around to face you, his cheeks a little pink, "shit, you scared me, doll."

you only give him a teasing smile and laugh, your eyes flickering down to the book in his hand, "did you find something you liked?"

he turns the object around in his eyes, looking at its back as if the answer to your question was supposed to be there. the entire cover was made out of blue thread, and the gold text that had been etched into it had grabbed his attention. "i don't know, i think i just liked how it looked. what about you?"

he can see you holding your hands behind your back and at his prompt, you flash him a grin before revealing a pile of books balanced nicely on top of each other.

the large stack isn't what makes his eyes widen and lips part slightly–it's how familiar all the covers of the books look to him. "did you–?"

"you fell right into my trap, chuu," you keep teasing him and it pieces together.

you had plenty of books, and yeah you could always have more but you hadn’t wanted to come here for you. you'd noticed his slight trip up at the sight of the store, and brought him in here for him. so that he could look at books. you'd been secretly paying attention to what books he'd picked up out of the corner of your eyes. and once he'd finished talking himself out of buying a book and placed it back where he found it, you trailed behind him to pull the book right back off the shelves.

you'd snuck up on him at the end of an aisle, where there were bookshelves on all three sides of you both besides the way you'd come from. he used that to his advantage, suddenly pulling you in by the hip to press you against the bookshelf facing the opposite end of the aisle. to anyone else, he probably only looked like he was browsing the selection this shelf (unless they were unfortunate enough to look just a little bit closer, to the pair of shoes trapped between his own).

you'd exclaimed at the sudden pull, tightening your grip on the books, shuddering when you felt his breath on your neck.

"you're sly, you know that? when'd you start behaving like this?" the words went straight to your stomach where you felt a flutter, and you reached out a hand to grip the sleeve of one of his arms.

"well, i learned from you, of course," you fired back, your mouth immediately going dry at the trail of kisses he left down your neck.

"you're too cute for your own good, you know," he murmured, pulling away, leaving you a blushing mess. "are you done? should we keep going?" he asked, looking at you like nothing had happened.

"i– um– just want to buy these books and then we can leave," you fixed your clothing, trying to cool down.

he quirked a brow, "were you actually interested in those books too? in that case, let me pay–" he reached for the books in your hands but you dodged his attempt, shifting your arms to hold them out to the right.

"no, i'm buying them for you, silly!" you teased, already walking past him before he could process your words and catch you.

"[y/n]—"

"i know what you’re thinking. you didn’t want to buy them in the first place because ‘i’ll never have time to read them... what if I don't like them... blah blah blah…’ but that all changes today. starting now, i'll be taking you on reading dates at least once a month. got it?" you turned to face him on the stairs you were climbing back up and he stopped behind you, a look of surprise on his face. "you'll never know if you like them until you try, chuu."

"i–"

"good, it's settled," you winked before turning back towards the top of the stairs, walking over to the counter.

once you got there? chuuya fought with you to pay, the both of you whipping out your cards while the cashier in front of you continued to stare forward with a smile on their face as if the couple in front of them wasn't shoving at each other, cursing one another out as their arms got tangled up, grabbing at each other's wrists.

your card won in the end, and you laughed triumphantly before placing the books in his hands while he muttered something you couldn't quite catch. when you made it out the door, he'd pulled you by the waist to bring your back flush against his chest again, face pressed into your shoulder, his new books still held at his side. "thank you, doll," he whispered, face slightly muffled by your shoulder.

but you heard it still, turning to place a gentle kiss to the side of his head. "of course, love," you smiled, reaching your arm back to find his free hand, intertwining it with yours. "now, where were we going again? before we got sidetracked by the books?"

"i was going to treat you to coffee," he came back to your side as you both began to walk again.

you bobbed your head at the reminder, "ah, right! although i think you're mistaken. i was going to treat you."

he looked at you from the side, brows furrowed, "hell no. especially not after you paid for these books. you're not gonna win this time, i'll pin your feet to the ground with gravity if i have to."

"you wouldn't dare," you stuck your tongue out at him before looking forward and refusing to say anything else. and he didn't argue back, because you were right. he'd much rather wire his entire savings into your account or pay you back a hundred times over before ever even thinking about using his ability on you in such a way. "hey," you suddenly perked up again and he hummed in response, waiting for you to continue, "do you wanna read at the cafe? or just go home? don't tell me it's up to me, tell me what you want."

he sighed at how quick you were to shut down his default answer, taking a second to think through his answer. "i think i just wanna go home. don't wanna hear anyone's voice but yours."

the way he smirked at you afterward, seeing your face warm at his comment told you that he was flirting on purpose to get a rise out of you. but you also knew by this point that his compliments came from an honest place, it was just for his entertainment that he’d word them in such a way to leave you a blushing mess.

"alright then," you mumbles back, cheeks flushed, "we'll grab something and go home."

and that day off had started a routine. "reading dates" as you had called them.

you.

you.

he loved you.

he loved coming home, no matter the time, and seeing you on his couch, knees pulled to your chest where a book was nestled. he loved the way you beckoned him with a hand and a soft call of his name, carded your fingers through his hair as you changed your position, just to accommodate him, so that he could rest his head in your lap.

sometimes you seemed to read his mind and had the current book he was reading on the other side of you and would hand it to him so that he could read as well. sometimes, you simply rubbed his scalp, telling him, “just rest, darling. how was your day?”

maybe it was because he was always so busy, always on the move, always out of the house and returning home late, but he much preferred staying inside with you on his days off to going out if you didn’t want to. he liked it when you both lay against opposite sides of the couch, legs intertwined where they met in the middle, or when he was nestled between your legs, head resting on your middle as you both read in a peaceful silence. 

he liked best when neither of you even made it the couch, but woke up in each others arms, and stayed in bed the whole day. or when he woke up, an arm still slung around your front, keeping you close, but you were sat up, resting against the headboard of his bed, book in hand.

he loved you, it was that simple. it was the root of his life, his purpose for living, the feeling in which everything else could stem from.

perhaps you were a kind of book yourself, always able to take him to another world, where he could be separated from his problems and just focus on the beauty of creation and humankind. and he could do that all just by tracing the side of your face every morning.

[westhly]

chapter 02.

hwang jun-ho x female! reader — squid game

₊✧ content mentions of kill and kidnapping. reader and jun-ho's cooperation. tension. entering the game. plot. part 1.

the cold surrounded you, a sharp reminder of the world outside the warmth of the nightclub you had just left. you should have been busy thinking about the business card that came back to you. but instead of that thought, there was the tension caused by the man you had just worked with to find the game.

the night feels incredibly heavy, the silence inside the car is almost deafening, the quiet isolation of the car continues, the windows fogged up and the engine humming softly, you're not sure if you should stay or not. you were unstable.

you played with the hem of your skirt with one hand. the other hand held a business card. you had memorized her number.

you cleared your throat to get the attention of the man next to you. his gaze found you. his attention was on you. he indicated that he was listening to you. you talked about it before the game, during the game, and after the game until they gave you the card again. you were a little uncomfortable because you were repeating the same things.

you handed him the card. "they gave it to us again for those who want to rejoin the game."

he took the card and examined it. he again made sure that it was the same card he had found in his brother's room. jun-ho asked, "so are you going to join the game?"

you were dumbfounded for a moment. you moved in place. "i, well, I mean, i'm not, there's no guarantee i'll get out of there." Your gaze shifted to the road for a moment. "one day. that's how long they gave us last time. to join."

he nodded. "so we only have one day." he turned on the heater in his car at the same time. even when he was outside, he noticed you were cold. your hair was damp. he thought that being outside for a long time with wet hair would give you a headache.

"you mentioned sneaking into the game," you murmured. you pointed to the card. "we call the number and give our details. then the masked men give us an address and pick us up."

"there are some people in the car too. like I said, they knock us out with gas. yhen," you crossed your legs. you could feel the nervousness go away. "you're in the game."

"go on," he said.

"i know the name of someone involved in the game."

he turned his head toward you, curious. he had a perfect profile. you thought you might have approached him differently if you had met him in a different situation. but now you were partners. even if only for a short time.

you didn't expect him to suddenly start the car. but you didn't say anything. with one hand on the wheel, you wanted to ask him where he was going, but you swallowed your words. you thought he must know something.

you wet your parched lip. you paused for a moment to remember the name. "seong gi-hun." because he was looked desperate. "i'm sure he'll come back to the game." because he looked desperate. you thought. "if not, keep it in mind. know someone in the game."

your eyes lit up at the memory. but you remained calm. with a detective in front of you, you more or less knew how to behave. maybe he had already made more than one plan in his head before you.

"that's the only other information I have." you couldn't help but ask. "i've told you everything. what do you think?

"all right." he turned at the left turn. he looked at the map. "you're sure they'll pick you up again here, right?"

"of course." his gaze shifted to you for a moment. you smiled. "what's your plan? tell me."

"first, I won't put you in danger.” he gripped the steering wheel tighter and accelerated the car. "call the number."

you leaned your head back and crossed your arms. occasionally, your eyes drifted to jun-ho. "should I trust you when you say you won't put me in danger? it's not that I'm afraid, it's that I doubt the police's word."

he felt your eyes on his and smirked for a moment. but his expression remained serious. "do you always talk like that?" your eyebrows furrowed. you turned to him abruptly. "i'm helping you, language. just a reminder."

you heard a grunt. “just do what I tell you. you've helped me enough. and it's safe.” you exhaled deeply at his seriousness. after all, you had to trust him. you thought whatever he did would be right. you had to put up with it yourself.

“let's say we failed. you couldn't find your brother.” you were afraid to ask, but you did. “would you get me out of here?”

his words softened like the way he looked at you. he pointed with his head to his bandaged knees. you felt the need to put your hands on them to hide them. “i will do whatever it takes.” after all, you were going to help each other.

you weren't going to tell him yet. about your place.

you hesitated for a moment, but you didn't feel satisfied, you nodded anyway. you didn't know why you felt that way. for a moment you wished you had agreed to go with him without making a deal. this night was so strange. both for what had happened. and for how you felt. you'd think about it later.

"well, let's say we fail now." you insisted on talking. you couldn't keep your mouth shut when I was next to you. you narrowed your eyes. "what would you do then?" the question made him think for a moment. he looked at you. "i'd come after you."

he insisted on entering the island and finding his brother. and.. for you?

in the end, you didn't push him any further. you untied your arms and zipped your jacket. it was up to your nose. that way you could stay sober while they gassed you in the car. you had your pocket knife with you, just in case. you had both thought of that. otherwise you might as well have held your breath, but never mind. you'd have think about everything. later.

the headlights of the oncoming car reflected on your face as the wind blew your hair slightly. you opened the back door and got in as the pink bodyguard driver looked at you through the window.

and all you had to do now was to zip your jacket up to your nose and not inhale the gas. the gases rose from all sides. you gently let your body fall on the seat.

after the pink guards had checked you, you unobtrusively pulled the zipper up your nose. all you had to do was wait for jun-ho's move. you weren't as nervous as before, but you still let yourself be enveloped by both excitement and fear.

there were two other people in the car besides you. as the car moved forward, it slowed down, slowed down, and finally stopped. you involuntarily held your breath. you guessed that someone had just gotten into the car when you suddenly felt movement. when you opened your eyes, you were stunned by the sight in front of you.

as the door opened with the pink guard in the driver's seat, an arm went around his neck and he was lifted out of his seat. you closed your eyes tightly. a few sounds of a struggle, then minutes passed. finally the sound of the pink guard, obviously in agony, stopped.

you opened your eyes again. you saw jun-ho gasping for breath in the driver's seat. you sat up and looked at the pink bodyguard lying on the ground outside. blinking, you looked over right. no one was there. actualy there is no one who will join the game.

“are you okay?” jun-ho touched your arm, as if he wanted you to pay attention to him. he followed him the car and attacked him

as he stopped.

you nodded and a surprised sound escaped your lips. “I guess I should be the one to ask you that." you pointed at him with your head. you were worried about him. his eyes stayed on you for a moment.

he came down, opened your door and rushed you out. “what are you going to do now.” somehow, the fact that he killed that pink guard didn't make you feel bad.

“listen.” he said. his hands were around your shoulders. he was in a hurry. he took his own car keys out of his pocket and handed them to you. he knew youu could drive, he asked during the conversation.

his hands were around your shoulders. “just go. i'll get back to you when it's over. as we talk.”

what could you do? you couldn't argue. all you did was nod and took the car keys. your hand went to your chest. “you,” you said. you both didn't break eye contact. "you're really going to get into the game.”

for the rest of the night he carried out his plan to get rid of the pink guard's corpse, and infiltrate the game. you didn't know how to get into the game, but he would figure it out.

even when you went back to that place you called 'home', even when you lay in bed with your clothes on, even when you walked by randomly the next day, even when you worked at the bar, even when you pretended nothing had happened, jun-ho was never far from your mind.

what would have happened if he hadn't stayed in the game. What would have happened to people and to him. you felt like you were being watched. you were paranoid. when you got back in that car, you felt those feelings again.

for the rest of the night he carried out his plan to get rid of the pink bodyguard's corpse, and infiltrate the game. you didn't know how to get into the game, but he would figure it out.

what would have happened if he hadn't stayed in the game. what would have happened to people and to him. you were paranoid. when you got back in that car, you felt those feelings again.

the night you went to the police station, you may have gone there for yourself. but at the same time, you'd experienced what you'd been through so far. that you couldn't let people down anymore. you couldn't do it on your own conscience.

you didn't want what happened to the people you let down to happen to you. but after that hour you didn't have those thoughts in your mind.

even when you went back to that place you called 'home', even when you lay in bed with your clothes on, even when you walked by randomly the next day, even when you worked at the bar, even when you pretended nothing had happened, jun-ho was never far from your mind.

all you wanted was for jun-ho to come back and at the same time find out what the game was about. all you wanted was for the confusion in your head to stop.

just one day. just one day with a him. how could he make you like this?

“so that's it.” your eyes shifted to the body lying on the hospital bed. “he's out of danger” you nodded and looked at the doctor and the captain next to him.

"yes. the wound on your shoulder could leave a permanent scar." doctor said.

you took a deep breath. “i'll wait until he wakes up.” you said to the doctor. at the same time the captain was listening to the conversation. “i'll make sure he is okay. with his mom."

and when he wake up, to find out everything.

and to start this whole thing all over again with him in two years.

the story of the two of you was just beginning.

for the confused ones: the reader helped jun-ho infiltrate the game and eventually the two of them achieved their goal. but jun-ho is in a coma instead of returning alive.

yayy finally wrote and published this chapter in a hurry. now I can write and continue with the relationship parts and progress 🥳🥳🥳 but for a moment I couldn't make anything up in my head omg.

taglist: @savemyheart101 @fqshionkilla @kanekisheart

[szariahwroteit]

Doll House: A Jude Bellingham + Orginal Character Erotic Series.

18+ Minors DNI

Chapter 13

Although Jude valued the opinions of his loved ones, the playful teasing from Marcus didn’t possess the bite it used to.

He’d mindlessly told Marcus that he had dropped Tori at a doctor’s appointment one morning before training. Honestly, he hadn’t put the same thought into it as his best friend did; that morning, she had stayed over at his place. He had time to kill, and she had somewhere to be.

Jude didn't mind his brother's playful remarks and had no issue reminding him that, regardless of the person he had in his life, he was still very much a single man.

However, things took a less playful turn when the following Thursday arrived. Marcus and his girlfriend Charlotte had come to spend the weekend in Madrid to watch Jude and his teammates as they took on rivals Barcelona. With them, they had brought Anastasia, a friend of Charlotte’s who was previously familiar with Jude.

Letting out a breath he’d been holding as he sat on the edge of his bed, Jude pinched the bridge of his nose as his mind ran wild with thoughts of Tori.

“What am I supposed to tell her?” Jude asked Marcus as he opened his eyes, his voice tinged with frustration. Marcus leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, an amused glint in his eyes.

“Honestly, I didn't mean to put you in hot water like this. But when you introduced me to Tori in Dubai, I thought she was just your piece for the trip. Had I known it was more, I would have never brought Anastasia along.” Marcus snickered, a hint of remorse creeping into his tone.

“She means more than that,” Jude replied sharply, a flash of irritation sparking in his chest. He instantly regretted the bite in his voice but kept his eyes locked on Marcus, who raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? So, you’re telling me you and Tori are… more?” Marcus pressed, his voice lacking the amusement it once held. “When you told me you were single over the phone, I figured Anastasia would be a welcomed surprise.”

“I am single, but the things we’ve been doing… the way we've been moving, I'd be doing Tori dirty by entertaining anyone else,” Jude divulged.

“The way you've been moving?” Marcus repeated.

“The appointment I took her to was for her to start birth control,” Jude blurted out, his gaze flicking to the floor as he felt the heat creep into his cheeks. He could practically hear the gears turning in Marcus's mind.

“Fuck,” Marcus said slowly, processing the information. “You're really feeling her then. This isn't just some fling?”

Jude sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s not. I care about her, and it’s becoming more than just physical.” He hesitated, his thoughts tumbling together unceremoniously.

“Look,” Marcus said, straightening up, the teasing tone dropping altogether. “We can get Anastasia to stay in a hotel for the weekend, but she is still going to be in Madrid with us. She is going to cross paths with Tori continuously.”

Jude leaned back on the bed, feeling the weight of Marcus's words settle over him like an unwelcome blanket. The thought of Tori and Anastasia interacting filled him with a mix of anxiety and dread. He had known Anastasia sporadically during their former years, her sharp wit and playful demeanor often leaving an impression, but their connection fizzled out over time. Since meeting Tori, Jude’s attention hadn't been anywhere else, regardless of titles.

"What do you suggest then?" Jude asked, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. The room echoed with uncertainty.

Marcus pushed off from the doorframe, stepping closer. “Look, just be upfront with Tori. If you’re serious about her, let her know what’s happening. You don’t want her to feel blindsided or like you have no regard for her feelings.”

Jude nodded, the weight of Marcus's advice settling heavily on his shoulders. "You're right. I just... I didn't plan on this. Tori isn't my girlfriend, but she is where my head is and a priority of mine," His voice trailed off, uncertainty creeping in.

“Then make it official in your head first,” Marcus advised, his tone steady and encouraging. “You don’t have to label everything right now. Just be honest about how you feel and where you stand. If she knows where your head is, there should be no trouble.”

Jude exhaled, mentally wrestling with the idea. Would laying his cards on the table only complicate things further? Would it change the light, free-flowing nature of what they shared? Yet a small voice reminded him that avoiding the conversation wouldn’t help.

“Theoretically, but she's going to be here soon, and when she turns up, a girl that I used to fuck is going to be sharing space with the girl I am with. Tori is understanding, not a pushover.” Jude spoke, the tension in his voice revealing the swirl of emotions churning inside him.

Marcus considered what he said momentarily, his expression shifting from playful to severe. “Look, it’s going to be awkward, but if she’s as understanding as you say, then she’ll handle it. Being upfront is the only way to avoid misunderstandings. Trust me—communication is everything. If you want me to, I can explain that this was on me.”

Jude felt Marcus's seriousness resonate within him. Communication had always been essential in relationships, yet he had taken the easy road, gliding along on the surface without diving deeper into what was unfolding with Tori. His heart pounded with the possibilities that awaited—both enticing and terrifying.

“Yeah, but what if I mess this up?” Jude sighed, searching Marcus’s face for answers that would put him at ease. “It’s just… this is all new territory for me. I genuinely enjoy what Tori and I have; I don't want to fuck it up.”

Marcus stepped forward, placing a reassuring hand on Jude's shoulder. “You won’t mess it up unless you don't communicate. Trust your instincts, Jude. You’ve got this. You know Tori better than anyone. If she’s as special to you as you say, then you owe it to her to be honest.”

Jude nodded slowly, allowing Marcus's words to sink in. He could feel the weight of responsibility pressing down, and with it, a fierce determination began to bubble up within him. He cared about Tori more than he had admitted to himself, even in the solitude of his bedroom.

“Okay,” Jude finally said, his voice steadier. “I’ll talk to her when she gets here. It might be messy, but I’d rather deal with the mess than leave anything to chance.”

“Good,” Marcus replied with a nod. “And hey, if it helps, I’ll look into a hotel for Anastasia to stay at. Charlotte and I will take her there once we figure everything out.”

Jude felt a wave of relief wash over him at the thought of his friends intervening, easing the tension that had begun to unravel him. "Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Just thinking about Tori and Anastasia in the same room sends my stomach into knots."

"Understandable," Marcus said with a sympathetic smile. "But you know Tori well enough to handle it. Just be honest, and the rest will fall into place."

Jude leaned back on the bed, staring at the ceiling as his thoughts drifted to Tori. He could still feel the warmth of her body next to his, the laughter they shared over late-night snacks, and the way she challenged him to be better both on and off the field. It felt different with her—more substantial than any casual fling. He needed her to know how much he valued what they had built.

After a moment of silence, Marcus clapped Jude on the shoulder. “I’ll let you have some time to gather your thoughts. Just call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”

As Marcus left the room, Jude's heart raced with anticipation and anxiety. He pulled out his phone, glancing at the time. Tori would arrive any minute now, and as ready as he was to lay his cards on the table, he couldn't deny the nerves that swirled inside of him.

He had already ironed things out where Anastasia was concerned. She knew she had been invited by mistake, and despite his look of embarrassment as he explained he had someone in his life now, she had been gracious, understanding his position. It was a good start but only heightened Jude's awareness of the delicate situation.

The anticipation felt like a weight pressing down on him with each passing moment. What if Tori had other expectations? What if she saw their relationship differently? He couldn’t shake the doubt but knew he had to deal with things head-on. He couldn't afford to leave things up to interpretation.

The sound of his doorbell ringing through his spacious home made his heart leap into his throat. There it was—his chance to face the music. The weight of his indecision felt almost unbearable as he took a deep breath and went downstairs to the door, his mind racing with thoughts of what to say.

He opened the door, and there stood Tori, a smile breaking across her face as she spotted him. She looked radiant, her hair cascading over her shoulders, her eyes shining with a warmth that eased and intensified his nerves.

“Hey!” she smiled sweetly, stepping across the threshold and into Jude’s arms.

Jude enveloped her in a warm embrace, pulling her close and savoring the familiar scent of her hair—a mix of coconut and something sweet, truly Tori. For a moment, he lost himself in the comfort of her presence, letting her laughter wash over him. It was a fleeting distraction from the weight of the conversation looming ahead.

“Hey! You made it,” he replied, his grin matching hers. “You look incredible.”

“Thanks!” she giggled softly. “I just pulled on the first thing I could find when I got home from rehearsal.”

Jude's heart swelled at her radiant smile, but the thrill of the moment was tempered by the conversation he knew he had to initiate. He wanted nothing more than to relish their easy banter and the tangible connection between them. Yet, the gravity of his unspoken feelings weighed heavily on him.

Stepping back slightly, he gestured for her to come inside. “Tori, we need to talk.”

The lightness in Tori’s expression shifted to one of curiosity, her brows knitting together in gentle concern. “Talk? About what?”

Jude closed the door behind them, feeling an electric tension settle in the room. He needed to keep his tone casual, but the weight of his words felt monumental. “It’s... about us and the weekend ahead.”

Tori tilted her head, taking a step closer, her gaze searching his face for answers. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he reassured her quickly, wanting to dispel any sense of unease. “It’s just that Marcus and Charlotte brought along Anastasia, and I didn’t realize how complicated it could get.”

He watched Tori’s face, her expression shifting as she processed the information. “Anastasia? Who is she...?”

“She’s a friend of Marcus’ and someone I—” Jude hesitated, searching for a way to frame it delicately.

“And she's here in your house?” Tori asked cautiously.

Jude nodded, feeling a rush of heat creep into his cheeks. “Yeah, but it’s not what you’re thinking. We had a history, but it’s... it’s not the same anymore. I just wanted to be upfront with you because I care about where we’re headed.”

Tori’s brow furrowed as she stepped back, crossing her arms as if to shield herself from what she was perceiving. Jude could see the surprise and confusion play across her beautiful features, and he felt an immediate pang of regret for springing this on her.

“Okay. So, Anastasia is staying with you for the weekend, too?” she prompted, her voice laced with uncertainty.

“Marcus is sorting a hotel for her,” Jude replied, his heart pounding at the building tension in the air. “But she will be around this weekend.”

Tori took a deep breath, her eyes narrowing slightly as she processed his words. “I appreciate you being honest with me, Jude, but why didn’t you mention her earlier? I wouldn't have come here.”

Jude swallowed hard, feeling the weight of her disappointment. “I want you here, Tori,” he said, his voice steady but low. “I didn’t know she was coming over with Marcus and Charlotte until they landed earlier.”

Tori regarded him with a mix of incredulity and concern, her eyes searching his for sincerity. “Do you have feelings for her? I mean… she’s from your past. What if she’s trying to rekindle something with you?”

“No!” Jude immediately countered, desperation creeping into his voice. “It’s not like that at all, I promise you. Anastasia and I have history, but it’s ancient history. I haven’t thought about her or anyone else in that way since you came into my life; she’s been nothing more than a past chapter.”

Tori’s gaze softened slightly, but the tension still hung thick in the space between them. “Then why does it feel like you're gearing me up to walk into some kind of competition?” The vulnerability in her question cut deeper than Jude anticipated.

Jude's ex had turned up unannounced with his best friend and his girlfriend. Regardless of what Jude had to say, their lives were obviously intertwined.

Jude felt the weight of Tori’s words settle heavily in the air, the silence between them stretching uncomfortably. “It’s not a competition,” he insisted, his voice tinged with desperation. He stepped closer, trying to bridge the emotional gap that had sprung up. “I care about you, Tori. I thought we were building something special, and I still want that. I want you.”

Tori tilted her head, eyes searching his for the truth amidst his assurances. “You’re saying all the right things, but this situation is… complicated, Jude. I just don’t want to feel like I’m the second choice while you have someone from your past around.”

“I get that,” he said, his heart racing as he grasped her hands, holding her gaze. “But I’m not looking back; I’m looking forward—at you.”

Her expression softened slightly, but unease lingered in her eyes. “So, if she’s here for the weekend, how do we navigate that? I mean, it’s not exactly easy to just pretend everything’s fine.”

Jude took a deep breath, steeling himself for the weight of the conversation ahead. “I want you to know that you are my priority. We can talk about it if it becomes uncomfortable for you, and I’ll handle it. I’d rather lose my pride than jeopardize what we have.”

Tori’s lips parted as if to speak, but her voice faltered for a moment before she found her words. “You realize how it sounds, right? You’re telling me that you’re serious about us, yet we’re dropping right into this chaos with someone who shares your past… It feels unfair to me.”

“Unfair?” Jude echoed, frustration bubbling beneath the surface as he struggled to keep his voice calm. “No, what wouldn’t be fair is if I didn’t bring this up with you. I want to be transparent. You deserve that, Tori. I have feelings for you—real feelings—and I’m trying to be honest about everything. I’ve only had my focus on you.”

Tori's brows furrowed, her expression flickering as she considered his words. “I appreciate your honesty, I do…” she trailed off, her voice softening. “But it’s just hard to reconcile that when Anastasia is literally right here... The thought of you two being around each other, of you having any history—it’s crazy.”

Jude could sense the turmoil brewing within her, the agitation playing out across her features. He felt the walls he once thought would hold a sense of safety now beginning to crumble under the weight of their reality.

“I wish it were simpler,” he said earnestly, running a hand through his hair. “But I can’t ignore the fact that she’s here for the weekend. That said, I also can’t ignore how I feel about you. You mean so much more to me than whatever I had with anyone else in the past.”

Tori blinked, the strength in her posture weakening slightly as she searched his eyes for sincerity. “You mean that?”

“More than anything,” he replied, taking a step closer, allowing the honesty in his gaze to shine through. Hooking a finger beneath her chin, he tilted her face toward his, searching her eyes for the truth of her feelings. "You’re different.“

Her gaze softened, though the tension still lingered. She was clearly trying to reconcile the feelings swirling within her. "Jude, I don't want to come off as jealous or insecure. I'm just trying to understand everything because it feels really overwhelming right now."

“I get that,” he said, voice low and sincere. “Please just trust that I won't do anything to disrespect or hurt you.”

Tori gave a slight nod, her eyes searching his, and for a moment, they stood in silence, each feeling the weight of what lay between them. Jude could see the internal battle playing out in her eyes—as if she was trying to make sense of it all while she wrestled with the emotions that threatened to spill over.

“Look,” Jude said softly, trying to coax her into a more relaxed state. “Let's take this one step at a time. I want you to be comfortable this weekend, and if that means we need to set some boundaries regarding Anastasia, I'm all for it.”

Her expression shifted slightly, gratitude dawning amid the uncertainty. “I appreciate that, honestly. It’s just... this feeling of sharing space with someone that I know you’ve been with before. It’s unsettling.”

“I understand,” Jude replied, his heart aching for her. “But I promise you, my focus is on you. Anastasia is just an echo of my past. Can we work together to make things feel okay for both of us? I want this weekend to be special for us.”

Tori took a deep breath, her resolve mingling with her vulnerability. “Okay,” she said finally, her voice steadier. “I think as long as you keep communicating, I can manage. It’s just hard because—”

"Because you want assurance," Jude finished for her gently, his heart pounding under the weight of her words. "I get it; you're not just navigating my past; we're trying to establish a future."

Tori nodded, a flicker of relief spreading across her features as she stepped closer to him. The warmth of her body eased the tension in the air. "Exactly. I don't want to feel like I'm constantly competing for your attention. I want you to be present with me, Jude."

"Then let's make that the priority," Jude said firmly. He brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, marveling at the softness of her skin and the tangible warmth between them.

Her breath hitched slightly as he leaned in a bit closer, the air crackling with unspoken tension. “I promise you, Tori. I want this weekend to be about us. No games, no distractions.”

Tori's eyes shimmered with a mix of hope and resolve. “Okay, I trust you. But you have to understand, this is an adjustment.” She paused, her expression softening as she stepped back just a fraction, realizing they stood on the precipice of something deeper.

“I understand,” Jude replied, positioning himself closer as he sought her gaze, his hands coming to rest on her hips as their eyes met.

Leaning into her, a soft hum ripped from Jude’s throat as their lips met in a delicate, tentative kiss. It was soft at first, carrying the weight of their conversation, but it quickly blossomed into something more passionate and urgent. The world around them faded, and it was just the two of them, their connection deepening in the embrace.

Tori responded to Jude’s intensity, her arms winding around his neck as she melted into him. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest, a comforting rhythm that synced with his own. It was as if they were both reminding each other just how right this felt—beneath the uncertainties of the weekend and the looming presence of Anastasia, what mattered was their shared connection.

Lifting Tori off the ground so her legs wrapped around his waist, Jude deepened the kiss, savoring the taste of her lips, the softness of her body pressed against his.

A soft gasp escaped Tori's lips, her fingers tangling in Jude's hair as she nestled closer to him. The sensation of her warmth against him made his heart race, igniting a fire within that he hadn't realized he craved so much. They stood there for a moment, forgotten in the world outside—a world that suddenly seemed far less important than the intimacy they shared in that instant.

“Jude…” she breathed against his lips, her eyes glimmering with an emotion he could only begin to understand but desperately wanted to explore.

“Yeah?” he whispered, his voice barely above a murmur as he pulled back just enough to meet her gaze, searching for answers in the depths of her chocolate-brown eyes. The seriousness of their earlier conversation still lingered, but the electric thrill of their kiss had shifted the atmosphere from tension to something deeply intimate.

"I just don’t want to lose what we have," Tori admitted softly, her fingers sliding from his hair to rest on his shoulders. “This weekend, with Anastasia... I can do it, but I need you to promise me we’ll navigate it all together. No bullshit.”

“No bullshit,” Jude repeated before his lips were back on hers, drawing her closer yet again, letting the warmth of their connection dispel the remnants of tension. It was a promise that they both felt, evident in the way their bodies instinctively responded to one another.

Unbeknownst to both Tori and Jude, Anastasia stood just out of sight, watching them from the hallway, her expression caught between surprise and intrigue. The way Jude held Tori, the softness of their shared kiss, stirred something in her — a curious mix of nostalgia and an unshakeable feeling of jealousy. She had known Jude once upon a time, and while their past had been filled with thrilling moments and hot sex, it was evident to her that she was witnessing something deeper.

Anastasia felt her heart tug as she observed the undeniable connection radiating from Jude and Tori. Memories of their brief romance flickered in her mind, but they felt distant now, overshadowed by the intensity of what she was witnessing. She had come to Madrid expecting a weekend filled with laughter and good times, but the sight of Jude and Tori together ignited a complicated mix of feelings.

Should she interrupt? Should she turn and leave? The moment felt so intimate that she almost felt like an intruder. But she was also acutely aware of the fact that she needed to assert herself in this situation. This was her chance to rekindle something with Jude, and seeing him with Tori stirred something deep within her—a sense of longing for what they once had but also a realization that things had changed.

As she hesitated in the shadows, Charlotte appeared beside her, raising an eyebrow at the scene before them. “Looks like we’ve interrupted something,” she whispered, a smile creeping onto her face.

Anastasia shot her a look, a mix of irritation and contemplation. “I didn’t expect to walk into this,” she replied quietly, her eyes still locked on Jude and Tori. “Why didn’t Marcus mention he was seeing anyone seriously?”

Charlotte shrugged, crossing her arms. “Maybe he didn't know either. But Jude looks pretty smitten, don’t you think?”

Anastasia's heart sank a little at Charlotte's words. The chemistry between Jude and Tori was palpable, the way they moved together like two pieces of a puzzle that had finally found their match. It stung to see him so at ease with someone new, someone who clearly brought out a different side of him—one that she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Yeah, I guess,” Anastasia replied, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m here now. I can't just back down. I need to make my presence known.”

“You sure about that?” Charlotte asked, her voice laced with concern. “It looks like they’re pretty serious. Do you really want to interrupt?”

Anastasia hesitated, torn between her desire to reclaim what was once hers and the realization that she might have already lost.

“We’ll see where the weekend takes us I guess,” she said, a hint of determination creeping into her voice. “But I can’t just sit back and watch them together. I owe it to myself to at least try.”

Charlotte regarded her with a mixture of sympathy and caution. “Just be careful, okay? You don’t want to disrupt something that seems to be blossoming between them. Sometimes, letting go is harder than holding on.”

Anastasia felt the weight of her words, but a spark of defiance ignited within her. “I know what I want, Charlotte. I want to remind Jude of what we had. He hasn’t really moved on, not completely. I could see it in his eyes when I got here.”

“He has arranged for you to go to a hotel instead of staying here with us; I think he's making his intentions pretty clear.” Charlotte pointed out.

Anastasia's resolve wavered slightly at Charlotte's words, but the fire in her belly refused to be extinguished. “Just because he’s with Tori doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about me entirely. We had something real, and I know that part of him still misses it.”

Charlotte shook her head, concern etched across her features. “You might be right, but you also might be setting yourself up for disappointment. Jude looks genuinely happy with Tori, and that’s not something to take lightly.”

Anastasia sighed, her heart heavy with conflict. “I get that. But I can’t just let him slip away without at least trying to remind him of what we had. I deserve that chance.”

Charlotte studied her for a moment, her expression softening. “Just be careful, okay? You don’t want to hurt anyone, least of all yourself.”

“Trust me, I know where the lines are,” Anastasia replied, a steely determination settling into her posture. “But I’m not going to let this weekend go by without making my intentions known. If I have to compete, then I will.”

With that, Charlotte stepped forward to make her presence known. Unlike her friend, she was excited to meet the girl who had Jude so captivated. The tension that had been hanging in the air felt thick and charged, and Charlotte sensed the unease radiating from both Anastasia and the couple in the living room.

“Hey, you two!” Charlotte called out, her voice light and cheerful as she approached Jude and Tori. “We didn’t mean to interrupt! We just wanted to introduce ourselves.”

Jude and Tori broke apart, their cheeks flushed from the shared kiss, and Jude felt a wave of heat wash over him as he briefly met the eyes of a small segment of his past. Tori’s expression shifted from surprise to a mask of polite friendliness, though he could feel the tension radiating from her.

Jude's heart raced as he sensed the shift in the atmosphere. Tori's expression transformed, a cautious smile replacing the warmth that had just enveloped them. He could feel the weight of the moment pressing down on him, the air thick with unspoken words and the intensity of the situation.

Tori wasn't his girlfriend by definition, but she was undoubtedly his.

And now, with Anastasia stepping into the room, the boundaries of that definition felt precariously thin. Jude could sense the tension coiling tightly around them, and he was acutely aware of how much was at stake.

“Hi, I’m Tori,” she said, extending a hand toward Charlotte, trying to maintain her composure despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Charlotte smiled brightly, taking Tori’s hand warmly. “Nice to meet you too! I’ve heard a lot about you from Marcus. He mentioned you’ve been keeping Jude on his toes.”

Jude could see Tori’s smile falter for just a moment, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her features before she regained her footing. “Yeah, I guess you could say that,” she replied, her tone light, but Jude could hear the underlying tension in her voice.

Anastasia stepped forward, her presence commanding yet casual. “And I’m Anastasia,” she said, her gaze sweeping over Tori with a hint of curiosity. “It’s great to meet you.” The words were innocuous enough, but Jude could sense the underlying challenge in her tone.

“Likewise,” Tori replied, her voice steady but her body language betraying her discomfort. She shot Jude a quick glance, and he could see the uncertainty etched on her face.

Jude felt the weight of the moment pressing down on him as he stood between Tori and Anastasia, two women from different chapters of his life. The apprehension was palpable, and the air felt charged with unspoken words and emotions.

“So, what brings you to Madrid?” Tori asked, her voice steady despite the flutter of nerves in her stomach. She was trying to maintain a sense of grace and poise, but Jude could see the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes.

Anastasia smiled, her demeanor confident as she replied, “I came along with Marcus and Charlotte to enjoy the weekend and catch up with old friends.” The words hung in the air like a challenge, and Jude could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.

The tension in the room felt like a live wire, crackling with unspoken words and unresolved emotions. Jude stood between Tori and Anastasia, acutely aware of the weight of the moment. He could feel the air thickening with uncertainty and the palpable energy of two worlds colliding.

Tori took a deep breath, her gaze steadying on Anastasia. “I hope you enjoy your time here. This city has so much to offer.” Her voice was polite, but Jude could sense the underlying tension, the way she was bracing herself for any potential blows.

Anastasia flashed a bright smile, though Jude could see the challenge lurking beneath the surface. “Thanks! I intend to make the most of it. It’s always nice to reconnect.” Her gaze flicked to Jude, and he could feel the unspoken challenge in her words, a bold reminder of their history.

As Marcus rounded the corner, his eased smile faltered as he realized what he had walked into.

“Is everything okay here?” he asked, the tension in the air heavy as he came to stand beside his girlfriend.

He anticipated Tori and Anastasia’s meeting being awkward, and had he known the seriousness of Jude’s feelings for Tori, he would have never taken it upon himself to invite her.

Now, standing in the midst of the consequences of his decision, Marcus felt its weight heavily. In hindsight, he should have asked Jude before inviting anyone.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Jude replied, his voice steady but strained as he tried to navigate through the uncertainty now pulsing in the room.

“I’m just getting to know Jude’s surprise guest,” Tori added, her tone matching Jude’s effort to play it cool despite the undeniable tension between her and Anastasia.

“Sorry about that, Tori,” Marcus said, immediately recognizing the discomfort in the air. “I should’ve given Jude a heads-up before inviting anyone.”

“It’s all right,” Tori said, forcing a smile, though Jude could see a hint of hurt behind her eyes. “It’s all good; no, if you'd excuse me, I'm going to go and put my bag upstairs in Jude’s room.”

Turning on her heel, Tori grabbed her weekend bag and made her way upstairs towards Jude's bedroom, with him following close behind. This action didn't go unnoticed by Anastasia.

Anastasia's gaze shifted between the two of them, a tight knot of jealousy forming in her stomach as she watched Tori ascend the stairs. Jude’s attention was solely focused on Tori, and the flicker of disappointment in Anastasia’s chest grew.

“Jude, wait!” she called out, her voice cutting through the heavy air as she stepped forward, determination shining in her eyes.

Jude paused at the base of the stairs, glancing over his shoulder at Anastasia, his brow furrowing slightly in apprehension. “What?”

“What’s your plan here?” she asked, crossing her arms, her tone assertive yet not unkind. “Are you just going to ignore what happened between us?”

“Anastasia—” Jude began, but she cut him off.

“No, hear me out,” she insisted, her expression shifting from frustration to something softer, more vulnerable.

“Anastasia, I can’t. Tori is my priority; she’s the girl I want.” Anastasia’s expression flashed with disappointment, a mix of old feelings and raw emotion that tugged at the edges of her heart. “So that’s it? You’re really willing to just brush our past aside because of this… this new thing with her?”

Jude took a deep breath, his heart pounding with the weight of her gaze. “Yes, I am. With you and anyone else.”

Heading up the stairs without a second glance at Anastasia, he followed in the same path that Tori had taken into his bedroom.

As Jude entered his room, he found Tori already setting her bag down on the floor, her back turned to him. Jude took a moment to soak in the sight of her—how at ease she was in his space, almost like she belonged there. The warmth of the moment felt bittersweet as the weight of their conversation threatened to return, but he couldn't shake the need to reach out to her.

“Tori,” he began softly, taking a step closer. She turned to face him, her expression a mixture of apprehension and vulnerability.

“Hey,” she said, her voice steady but her eyes betraying a swirl of emotions. The uncertainty hanging in the air between them felt suffocating, a looming cloud of unresolved tension.

“I know things just got a bit… complicated,” he continued, his hands finding a resting place on his hips as he tried to gauge her mood. “I didn’t mean for you to feel like there was a competition or that you’d walked into some mess.”

Tori let out a breath, her shoulders relaxing just a fraction. “I know. It's just… hard, Jude. I didn’t expect to deal with this as soon as I walked in the door. Learning that someone who used to be part of your life is going to be around all weekend—it's unsettling.”

“I understand,” Jude replied, moving closer until he could reach for her hand. He squeezed it gently, hoping to convey how much he valued her presence. “But you are the one who matters to me. All I want is to focus on you this weekend. I want us to be okay.”

Tori's gaze softened as she looked down at their intertwined fingers. “I appreciate that, Jude. I really do. It's just that I feel like I'm walking on eggshells here. The last thing I want is for you to feel pressured because of me.”

“What I want is for you to feel secure,” he said earnestly, the intensity of his words hanging between them. “If that means I have to set boundaries with Anastasia or make it clear to her that I’m choosing you, then that’s what I’ll do.”

She met his gaze, a glimmer of hope igniting in her eyes. “You mean it?”

“Absolutely,” he said, nodding firmly. The realization of how much she meant to him ignited a fire he hadn’t fully acknowledged before—a resolve to ensure that Tori knew she had him.

[em-harlsnow]

difference between the first seasons of shameless and the last seasons imo

read beneath the cut, it’s pretty long

what i think really changed about the last seasons of shameless compared to the first seasons is how they tried to incorporate the audience. i’ve seen writers/producers say that they tried to set up the cameras in a way that made it feel like the audience was a part of the family, or a visitor confused by all the chaos.

i think that idea was lost in later seasons and you stop feeling like a part of the show, but even more than that, the audience becomes very detached from everything.

further, i think the characters began to lack the same weight that they did before. as they all start to grow up and become steadier as people, the show also loses its chaotic appeal. by the time the characters were all adults, the writers seemed lost on how to add that gritty dark element that the show had initially without becoming repetitive. there’s only so many times that frank can have some ridiculous storyline that hurts his kids where fiona has to pick up the pieces. it gets boring.

so to try and stop that happening, they ran with old comedic devices that i felt shameless had always deviated from, or at least exaggerated. but no, in the last seasons the show fully leans into them. it becomes more like a sitcom, like modern family or friends.

with tami and lip, it was tami getting insecure about lip possibly liking someone else and lip coming up with all these schemes on how to spend less money and hide that he was going for cheaper options from his girlfriend.

with debbie, it was the show leaning into the whole milkovich/gallagher thing and trying for a new pairing which honestly was entirely lacking. we had more development on her and mattie’s storyline (which was gross) than her and sandy. they turn debbie into a caricature and leave her without much emotional development, taking away any of the audience’s compassion towards her.

with carl, it was the whole police thing, where he struggled with his annoying boss and then his second annoying boss.

with liam, it was him becoming very mature very quickly, but lacking the same depth that debbie and carl got at his age. that’s just my opinion of him, bare in mind i haven’t watched his scenes in season 10/11 recently.

with ian and mickey, it was them becoming that TYPICAL comedic couple, with the show taking away a lot of what made them different. So many of their storylines were full of pointless arguments and unsatisfying resolutions. they tried to make them almost middle class, removing mickey’s skill in crime and making him look lazy. taking away all of ian’s emotional development and making him seem pissed off constantly. they don’t seem to understand each other the way they did before.

don’t even get me started on kev and v. they were one of the most interesting storylines at the beginning, and they suddenly became boring.

fiona left, so i can’t comment much on her.

shameless also lacks the connection the show used to have between storylines. every character was somehow connected to another character at the start, all the different plots influencing each other. that quality was lost later on.

at the beginning, the show made great points about poverty and politics without needed to obviously explain each one. it was metaphorical, an example of poverty and of people and relationships and life. In later seasons, it becomes too obvious for me. the messages the show is trying to convey are much more clear and surface level, which means the impact of these messages is reduced.

it’s like the difference between someone giving you an example of a specific person who has been abused, let’s say. You can either tell an emotive story about that abuse or you can say, they were abused, this is wrong. shameless originally was emotive, giving you connections to characters and therefore adding weight and meaning to their stories. It becomes shallow when the show gives its messages in plain ways. like the conversation that ian had with that woman in the furniture shop about the election results in season 11. sure, ian was right, but it doesn’t have the same impact when delivered in that way. if they’d done the show the same as they did in the first seasons, i’m sure the message would have been conveyed more passionately and effectively.

now, this is just my opinion. i don’t hate the last two seasons, but it wasn’t very shameless-esc. I also don’t write TV shows, so i don’t know exactly how to fix all those things

i do enjoy the last seasons, it wasn’t all bad. but it was different to the first ones, and that is something to comment on.

[owuwi]

ALTERNATE WORLD

POWDER.ᐟ

summary: in the midst of perfection, your responsibilities still nag at the back of your mind.

pairings: au!powder x ogtimeline!reader

warnings: a bit of angst, fluff, not really a warning but fem!reader, reader is in ekko's position, mentions of jinx x fem!reader.

2.8k words

Perhaps, being selfish wasn't as bad as people said.

Maybe, just for once, putting yourself first wasn't going to cause the end of the world.

Those are the words that have been constantly running through your mind for these past few days, these days you've spent with Powder.

This wasn't your Powder, though, you were pretty aware of that —the universe didn't like you enough to allow you be that happy—, yet that didn't stop you from enjoying everything. You deserved it, right? You deserved to experience this level of contentment, of peace, at least once in your life.

Honestly, you were still a bit confused about your relationship with the blue-haired girl. There was a thick, tangible tension between the two of you but she hasn't actually initiated anything romantic —except for clinging onto you, if that counts—. She was quite flirty, that was sure, and it ignited something deep inside you whenever she behaved in that manner. Knowing that this is what you could've had... it brought you such sadness and even envy.

Despite everything, there was still a small part of you that knew this was wrong; a responsible voice reminding you of your true fate. You weren't meant to be here —let alone stay here— and that righteous side of you wanted to leave it very clear.

Goodness, the only thing you wanted was to know what the hell was wrong with your tree.

And now? Now you had to leave paradise to go back to hell.

Apparently, it was usual for you —this universe's version of yourself— to sleep over at Powder's place, so you've been doing that for these past few days. Seeing Vander and Silco so... together was definitely something you weren't going to get used to, but they were truly so loving that it made you forget they were once enemies.

You woke up earlier than the younger girl and headed down to her hideout —workplace— in a miserable attempt of isolating yourself for a bit and simply think, think about how to build something that could take you home. You actually already knew what to do but you were trying to slow down the process of building it as much as possible, also trying to keep Heimerdinger out of this for as long as you could —since it would take the professor like, a day to find a way of creating such a device—.

You were so deep in your own little world, carefully drawing the hextech anomaly that brought you here while enjoying the comfort the big space provided, that you weren't aware of Powder coming down to where you were until you felt a pair of soft arms wrapping around your neck —the sudden contact immediately causing you to flinch. "Morning, jumpy." She playfully greeted you, adding more emphasis on the nickname after observing your reaction, a little chuckle then slipping past her lips in amusement.

"Hey there, i uh—... didn't hear you." You greeted her as well —and vaguely explained the reason for your sharp movement— before also letting out a chuckle, though it clearly sounded less natural than the girl's. Even with the butterflies that fluttered on your stomach each time Powder was near you, you still couldn't help but to initially freak out whenever you laid your eyes on her.

"Oh yeah, i totally realized that." She quickly said, her voice dripping with an affectionate sarcasm, as she slowly ran her fingers through your hair. Her tender action quickly sent a shiver down your spine, unconsciously leaning into the warmth of her touch. "Wow... that's a cool drawing." She broke the silence some moments later, moving her fingers away from your hair to delicately trace her fingertips along the messy lines of the drawing —a faint 'thank you' leaving your lips at her compliment.

"You woke up earlier just to draw, huh? You sure are a real mystery." She later commented in that same playful tone of voice, gently resting her chin on the top of your head as her eyes continued scanning over the drawing. You were about to say something until the sound of a soft yawn coming from the girl interrupted you.

You could tell she was still sleepy by the slight slurring in her words and by the way she was basically slumped against your back. It brought a genuine smile to your face, a faint blush spreading across the skin of your cheeks as you notice how intimate this moment felt. "I wasn't tired anymore so i came down here, wanted to—... clear my mind a bit." You told her, closing your eyes at the feeling of her fingertips slowly sliding up your arms —goosebumps erupting all over your skin—. "Why don't you go back to bed? You seem tired.." You then added before opening your eyes, not even noticing the domesticity in your words.

Powder did notice, though.

She let out a humming sound —clearly thinking about your suggestion— while her digits continued roaming along your smooth skin. "Mhm... only if you come back with me." She replied some moments later, her voice a low whisper tickling your ear. The blue-eyed girl knew you perfectly, knew what made you react, what you liked and what you didn't, and she knew how to use that piece of information to her advantage.

Oh yeah, you two were definitely dating.

It was kinda obvious but you were just... hoping you two were really good friends. You truly got everything you once wanted in this universe —the realization of how good your life was here brought you so many mixed feelings. How wrong would it be to stay here? For starters, how wrong was it to think like this? You had your own stuff to do back at home —especially now when things were so tense—, you couldn't abandon your people and stay, right?

No... you couldn't abandon Jinx, she was your Powder, despite everything. Despite all the crimes she's committed, all the horrors she's made, she was still your best friend and the girl you fell in love with. This... this wasn't real, it was just a 'what if', you needed to go back and make things right —even if it wasn't your job to fix everything, you still needed to try—.

The girl behind you snapped her fingers in front of your face, causing you to stop daydreaming and come back to reality. "Hey, space girl! I'm not talking to myself over here." She told you, her tone humorous yet honest, clearly not enjoying the way you were ignoring her.

"Sorry! I uh...—was just thinking." You quickly apologized, letting out a sigh before rubbing your face —unconsciously staining your cheek with the dark ink you had on your hands thanks to the messy drawing you were previously working on—. Powder moved away from your back and instead sat down on the other stool, looking at you with both affection and worry. "Yeah, seems like you've been doing that a lot these days.." She mumbled, discretely pointing out your odd behavior of the past few days.

She then gently reached out to wipe away the pigment from your skin, her touch lingering on your cheek for way longer than needed. "What's on your mind?" The girl asked you quietly, cupping your cheek and holding the side of your face with such delicacy it almost brought you to tears. Whenever she held you, she always did it as if you were made of glass —scared of breaking you—.

"I want to build something new. For the competition." You revealed some moments later, looking at her with uncertainty as you feel her touch faltering after hearing what you said. According to Heimerdinger, you sought Powder's help a couple of months ago for the Young Innovators Competition and she gladly decided to assist you, and the two of you have been working like crazy ever since.

And now, you had the blue-haired girl looking at you as if you were crazy. Could you blame her? Probably not. Apparently, Powder had been by your side —working— 24/7 on the project, so the fact that you were telling her you wanted to do a whole new different thing was mind-blowing for her. "Wait, what? Why?" She immediately questioned you, moving her hand away from your cheek as a frown formed on her lips.

"I uh—... it's not entirely new. We can use what we already have built." You hesitantly began explaining, your eyes looking everywhere expect at the girl in front of you. How were you supposed to tell her you wanted to travel to another dimension? She'd definitely call you crazy. "I've been doing some research and i—." You continued, flipping the pages of your sketchbook to show her the ruins and maths, though it didn't take Powder long before she cut you off.

"Hold on, we've been working on this for months, and now you want to change it? We don't have much time anymore." She complained, her tone growing frustrated and even mad —despite the change in her voice not being entirely hearable, you noticed it—. She let out a faint scoff and looked away from you, taking a deep breath before continuing. "You were so excited with this project... what changed?" She then asked you in a much softer tone of voice, giving you a look of concern.

You stayed quiet for some moments, feeling yourself getting lost in those gorgeous blue eyes of hers. Not only were you playing with yourself but you were also playing with her, creating memories this universe's version of yourself won't remember once you go back to your own world. "I uh—..." You started your sentence yet couldn't finish it, looking at her with such affection and love — though it wasn't actually the right moment to drool over her —.

"I think i found a way to travel to other dimensions." You simply stated, not even noticing how blunt your words came out thanks to how distracted you were, captivated by her beauty. You then managed to snap yourself out of the trace she induced you in, a silly and almost dumb smile slowly forming on your lips as you looked at her. "I think it's worth giving it a try..." You added, sliding your sketchbook across the surface and allowing the girl to take a look at the process you've done.

It was now her time to stay quiet, looking at you with disbelief. Silence reigned on the space; the faint whirring of the colorful lightbulbs and your breathings being the only sounds listenable. She took your book in her hands and started analyzing its content, her eyebrows lightly furrowing as she does so. "How do you just—... find a way to do that?" She asked you, her voice now playful and humorous once again. The frown and concern on her face was now replaced with a look of amazedness.

"You know me, i'm a genius." You said in reply to her question before laughing and then bitting down on your bottom lip, no longer feeling the need of hiding your true personality. It definitely wasn't good to be getting so comfortable but, right now, you truly didn't care.

Powder simply let out a little laugh at your comment, a bright smile forming on her lips as she looked up from the sketchbook and back at you again. "I'm not sure about the genius part but i'll admit, it's pretty amazing..." She opined before standing up from the stool and taking a step closer to you, cupping your face with both hands. "Do you seriously think it'll work, though?" She unsurely queried, wanting to know if you were actually serious about this whole thing.

Powder knew you weren't the type to joke about this type or stuff but come on, finding a way of traveling to other dimensions? No one has ever made such discovery yet, so how on earth did you managed to find this? Was this the reason you've been acting so different? Many questions started bubbling inside of her, questions she felt weird thinking about. What was going on with her? Was she... distrusting you? She couldn't be! She's known you her entire life! You were her girl and you were smart, she should be feeling proud you made such a discovery!

Your voice pulled her out of her thoughts and she couldn't help but to feel relieved, not wanting to think like that of you. "Yeah, i do. I already consulted a friend about this and he thinks it's possible." You answered, placing your hand on top of hers — keeping her palm pressed against your cheek — and then leaning into her touch. The feeling of your skin against hers brought peace to her head, those conceptualizations fading away immediately.

"What do you think about it?" You then asked the younger girl, slowly —almost nervously— rising your other hand and gently placing it on her hip. Powder barely reacted to your touch, meaning that she was used to you doing this —more proof of the two of you being a couple. "Well it's definitely amazing but i think it's dumb to start with it now, because it will definitely not be ready for the competition." She stated. Despite how serious she sounded, a small grin started to appear on her face.

"But you are quite dumb so i'm not entirely surprised." She quickly added, letting out a little laugh before suddenly sitting down on your lap. The girl wrapped her arms around your neck and softly started playing with the baby hairs on your nape, twirling them between her fingers. "Which is why i suppose i could help you..." She completed, her voice tender yet teasing, as she gets more comfortable on your lap.

"How nice of you." You said, playing along with her little game before placing your hands on her hips —with a little bit more of confidence this time—, looking at her like she just hung the moon and stars. She noticed your staring and gently pushed your shoulder in a miserable attempt of hiding how flustered you were making her feel without even doing anything. "Whatever..." She mumbled, placing one of her hands on the base of your neck and then delicately caressing the skin over your pulse point.

"Now, let's go back to my room." With that —quite suddenly— said, Powder got off your lap and grabbed your hands, making you stand up and guiding you towards the bridge that lead to the stairs, not really giving you a choice. You simply threw your sketchbook across the cluttered, circular surface —accidentally throwing a blueprint onto the floor in consequence—. "We'll talk about it in bed, yeah?" She exclaimed.

You two walked up the stairs and headed towards the girl's room quietly, not wanting to make too much noise and accidentally wake up her dads. She immediately closed the door the moment you two entered the room and then rushed to her comfortable bed, a chuckle leaving your lips at the sight of Powder basically burying herself beneath the blankets. "What are you waiting for, you doofus?" A faint, muffled voice asked you, her tone sounding almost offended thanks to how long you were taking to lay beside her.

"Can't i admire the view anymore?" You asked her back before laughing softly and then walking over to the bed, taking your shoes off before finally lying down on the mattress. It didn't take the girl long before she basically jumped on top of you, hiding her face in the warmness of the crook of your neck and wrapping her arms around your torso. "Mhm..." She simply hummed, snuggling against your tender skin.

It was obvious that you two weren't going to talk about your new project but that didn't matter right now, all that mattered was the feeling of her small body on top of yours. You nuzzled against the top of her head, taking in the scent of her blue hair, as you slid your hands under her shirt to caress the soft skin of her back. "Sleep..." You mumbled, enjoying every single second of this moment.

You didn't need to tell Powder twice, especially not when she was so tired and she was lying on top of you. "I love you..." She muttered out some seconds later, moving her head away from your neck. She placed her hands on your cheeks and merely stared at you for a moment, smiling once again as she admired you. She then leaned down to place a slow, delicate kiss on your lips, her fingers mindlessly tracing patterns on your skin.

Gods.

It took you some time to kiss her back —a good second or two—, your body freezing with the suddenness of her words and movements. Despite your initial shock, fireworks exploded inside of you the moment you processed what was happening, causing you to smile against her lips as you closed your eyes and finally kissed her back. "Love you too... so much.." You said the moment the kiss broke, keeping your eyes closed before chuckling.

In this moment, you belonged here.

Right now, you had all you ever wanted.

So, was it so inhumane to be selfish?

[citylighten]

Let's Talk Lost Love

(aka how Zoe ends up with Michael)

Abhijit and Zoe grew up knowing each other due to their mother’s close friendship, but they were not close. For college, he moved to Del Sol Valley with aspirations to become an actor, however, this was an experience he largely failed in. He relocated back to San Myshuno after a few years, and began to work as a copywriter at an advertising agency. This is when he and Zoe reunite and mutually find one another attractive.  They felt a sense of understanding with one another. Zoe was a recent college dropout who had disappointed her parents for being aimless, and Abhijit could never get his mother’s approval. The two accepted each other for who they were (mostly. Zoe often picked on him for having a new personality influenced by Del Sol Valley) In due time they began living with each other. This went on for three or four years: he was her first big love, her first time, he was her everything and everyone knew it. Like, it was clear that any day he would propose to her. They had already reached a point where they (playfully) discussed having kids. Then one night, Zoe begged him to go to the local corner store to pick up some candy for her, and he didn’t come home. He died. Zoe underwent deep despair, she sincerely wanted to die, she couldn’t wrap her mind around how he was gone so easily. She wouldn’t leave her apartment. She blamed herself for wanting a stupid candy bar. Then she decided to leave the city and become a van-lifer. Her parents and friends all disapproved and thought this was a radical shift, but Zoe kept insisting she was fine and something she always wanted to do. But you know, this was really just a means for her to run away from home and avoid the past.

She gets some spontaneous tattoos, travels place to place having misadventures and uncomfortable experiences. She acts happy but her mental health is in the gutter. It's not uncommon for her to look over Abhi's social media pages and just grieve the fact he wasn't even thirty.

She meets Mitchell, J, and Gavin but despite two of these men being attracted to her, Zoe has no interest in romance or sex. Not much later, she meets Michael who was the first guy she was really into in a long while. The minute she saw Michael’s eyes and smile she felt something she hadn’t felt in a long time. She grew close to him and loved that he had a similar adventurous spirit. She couldn't help but chase the feeling she felt with him. Then of course, in less than a year she has little Rohan. 

But sometimes, she was still thinking of Abhijit. Sometimes when mad at Michael this early in their parenthood journey she would have an intrusive thought like, “Rohan should be Abhi’s son” or sometimes it would simply cross her mind, “I wonder how my kids with him would’ve looked.” However, as she and Michael grew together with their family, the more deep her love for Michael became. She realized her heart had enough space for new experiences, loves, and memories.  

The downside of this? One of Zoe's worst fears is Michael not coming home one night. Her worst fear is outliving him because at the moment she doesn’t know how she’d cope with losing her husband. She’s able to go back to the Spice District. She’s able to talk to Lavina, but looking at Rahul? That’s nearly impossible.

Now as for Mayor Chopra, she's still haunted by Abhi's death because she knows her parenting was riddled with errors, and she pities the pain Zoe went through. So when she sees Rohan and Kiara in the Spice District this winter she's thinking: "those could've been my grandchildren if things were different."

When Rohan's a teen and works as the mayor's protege, Lavina lets this slip. But that's another tale for another day.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

{ @qin-qin16, @averageimp. The post I was talking about. }

Had a random thought while scrolling through the arcane tag but the way some caitvi shippers hate on Maddie for “getting in the way of caitvi” instead of also hating Caitlyn (both cait and Maddie, but I feel there’s a lot better reasons to dislike Maddie outside of “ruining” a relationship that was hardly even a relationship like Cait wasn’t equally as willing and responsible—such as ya know, being an indoctrinated seemingly sadistic spy helping a military force invade and conquer another nation) for—

not only choosing to sleep with and share her bed with another woman while the one who she supposedly “loves” is being beaten in a pit for money and drinking herself half to death,

But also using her power and authority and money and position to oppress and abuse the people of Zaun instead of helping them or even using all those resources to look for Vi and apologize or some shit,

Also abusing her power over Maddie. Maddie introduced herself to Vi as a “junior officer.”

Caitlyn is a Commander/Sheriff. She is Maddie’s commander. She is Maddie’s superior. Now I don’t know if the Enforcers would be considered more like the police force or the military, maybe both, but I think this could be considered Fraternization and an abuse of her power.

Now we all know that it turns out Maddie is a Noxus spy and her superior is actually Ambessa, but Caitlyn doesn’t know this. She believes she has power, authority, and rank over Maddie. She believes Maddie is her subordinate.

Caitlyn abuses her power and authority in more ways than one, and if Maddie weren’t a Noxus spy and Ambessa wasn’t buddy buddy with Caitlyn, Caitlyn could’ve very well ruined Maddie’s life and career if she so chose to do so on a whim,

Not to mention: Maddie’s whole spy gig wouldn’t have worked at all if Caitlyn weren’t so eager to abuse her authority and sleep with her subordinates.

Between Maddie and Vi, maybe Cait has a thing for women who are of less power and privilege than her—or at least women she views that way. Or maybe she just truly is that blind and ignorant of the power and privilege she has, or perhaps she just doesn’t care.

Regardless, it’s a little strange. Caitlyn is a full grown woman who has enough power to declare martial law and a warlord of another nation and her forces behind her. Maddie is a junior officer, who Cait does not know is actually a spy.

She is perfectly okay with the knowledge of this, and felt it was perfectly okay to allow a relationship with someone below her in rank and status and authority.

This sets up an inherent power dynamic where, in a more realistic world or if the writers had acknowledged this/Maddie hadn’t been a spy, she very well could’ve been at a risk of being fired or discharged from her job if she ever decided she didn’t want to sleep with her Boss anymore; even if the reason is as simple as Cait doesn’t want to take the risk of Maddie telling anyone and getting her in trouble.

Or, considering the fact that Cait had the power to declare martial law and is basically a dictator, could potentially have Maddie executed and claim it was for reasons such as “treason” or “being a traitor,” regardless of if it’s actually true or not in this scenario. Because Cait has so much power that her word is basically law, especially when compared to Maddie’s.

All in all, Maddie only “got in the way of caitvi” because Cait allowed her to and actively refused to use her massive manpower and resources to go look for Vi and make things up with her for months on end—instead wasting that time oppressing the lower class, hunting down and obsessing over Jinx, training with Ambessa, and using her subordinate’s body for her own gain while also acting cold and dismissive towards her once she got what she wanted for the day.

[us3rnam3-r3dact3d]

the world (it burns through me)

Chapter 15: Darlin'

Ao3 | 2.6k Words | Darlin's POV

Sam ambushes Darlin'. Milo gets them ready. Darlin' looks in the mirror. Milo and Sweetheart go out to dinner. Sam and Darlin' too, in their own way.

TW: discussions of childhood poverty, discussions of disordered eating and malnourishment.

Sam decided to ambush you with the question on a call. It was a dirty trick, one that worked remarkably well on you, given that, when the words came out of his mouth, you’d nodded dumbly while loading the hoses back onto the rig. You didn’t even process until halfway back to the station what exactly he had asked you. 

“Holy shit!” You barked as you were tossed by Asher’s wild turns. Milo’s head whipped to you, concern painting his features. 

“What’s wrong?” David snapped from the front, twisting in his seat to look at you. You flushed, suddenly faced with the horror of having to tell David Shaw that your… your Sam had asked you out on a date. You blushed like a teenager having to explain to their dad why their outfit was rumpled after junior prom. 

“Nothing.” You said quickly, staring straight ahead again. You did not want to have this conversation, especially not when you had to have it over the radio to be heard over the rumble of the engines. You would actually rather throw yourself in front of the rig than air your not-so-dirty laundry for the entire rig to hear. 

You pulled into the station a few minutes later and you were up and off the truck before anybody could ask you questions. You had less than about twenty minutes left in your shift, and you had two hours after that before you needed to meet Sam for dinner. He’d thrown out the name of a restaurant, but it was in some foreign language and sounded ten times more fancy than what you were used to. You were fairly certain that you’d be kicked out wearing your DFD shirt and joggers, but that wasn’t something you had control of at the moment.

David wouldn’t mind if you hit the showers so long as you got to the rig within three minutes of the bell ringing. You could go from naked and soaking wet to geared up and still soaking wet in a very short amount of time. 

“Hey-” Milo caught your arm as you dumped your turnouts and spun you around. “What’s up? You’re acting weird.” You scowled, rolling your eyes. 

“Fuck off.” You muttered. “I’m not. I’m fine.” 

“Sure.” Milo snorted. “Yeah. For sure.” 

“Shut up.” You growled. “I’m gonna shower.” 

“Twenty minutes.” David admonished from the rig. He tugged at the velcro of his turnouts, face drawn. He had started looking worse and worse recently. Quinn had gone radio silent, having not sent another picture since the night you’d told David. You could tell that the absence was worse than the present threat for David. If Quinn was standing in front of him, David would have somewhere to point his focus. As it was, he was a tired guard dog, jerking and biting at every shift and shadow. 

You swallowed your guilt. You’d put him in this place, this state. You nodded sharply. 

“Come on,” Milo bumped his shoulder with yours, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. Stupid, pretty brown eyes. You were such a sucker for assholes like Milo. “Share with the class.” 

You puffed out your breath sharply through your nose and turned away from David. When you admitted it to Milo, it was quiet, secretive. 

“Sam asked me on a date.” You felt embarrassingly like a high schooler when you said it, and cringed back from your own voice. 

“What?” Milo shouted, so much louder than your admission had been. David grumbled his disapproval from his position a few feet away. Milo ignored him and turned to face you square on, grabbing your shoulders in each hand. “Where?” 

“I don’t know.” You sighed. “Some fancy place. Some sort of… French? Name?” 

“La Récolte?” Milo demanded, his voice cracking with disbelief. “I’ve been trying to get into that place for months!” 

“I don’t know man, he’s taking me.” You shook yourself out of his grasp and started moving towards the showers. You were feeling distinctly vulnerable talking about this out in the open. You wanted a wall at your back if you were going to keep spilling your guts to him. 

“Well when’s your reservation?” 

“He just told me he’d pick me up at six.” 

“Okay, good, that gives us some time.”

“Time?” You came to a stop and turned, facing Milo down. “Time for what?” 

“Well, I don’t think you have shit to wear to a place like La Récolte.” Milo rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “So you’ll come over and borrow something from me.” 

“I’m like… half a foot taller than you.” You laughed. Milo shoved your shoulder to turn you back around. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I’m sure we’ll figure something out.” He said as he started bodily pushing you towards the showers. “At the very least, we need you not to smell like fucking smoke.” 

In the end, Milo did find something in his near endless closet for you to wear. You weren’t sure how he afforded all of those clothes on a firefighter’s salary, but you couldn’t knock him for liking fine things. You knew that, much like yourself, Milo hadn’t come from much. He had wanted plenty as a kid, and he found a way not to anymore. You couldn’t deny a man a thousand fancy suits if it meant he got to step away from that ever present need that lingered in you from your childhood. You wondered if it crept up in him anyway. 

He had a loose, maroon suit that he hadn’t had the time to go get hemmed yet, so the pants only hung about an inch above your ankles. He produced a pair of his boots to go with it and hopefully hide that gap, but you couldn’t shove your foot in them no matter how much you tried. In the end, the two of you settled on you wearing his suit but your boots, no matter how scuffed and dirty they were. 

You stripped out of your DFD uniform, the heather grey t-shirt and fitted pants abandoned on Milo’s bathroom floor as you avoided your reflection in his giant, full body mirror. You could picture him and his partner, preening over each other's pretentious outfits and unfair good looks in this mirror. Your eyes slid to him in the background as he plucked a white shirt out from his collection to bring to you. As he turned, his eyes met yours in the mirror, caught you staring. You cut your gaze away. 

You were forced to look at yourself in the mirror, stripped down to your indecents, and squinted hard. You realized, as you cut your focus across your form, that you hadn’t really looked at your reflection in a long while. Your hair was longer. The stab wound that Sam had stitched up had settled into a neat, puffy scar on your abdomen. Your hand fell to your stomach, which had been concave and aching for a few months before you returned to Dahlia. Now, it was soft and full. The lines of your abs weren’t as stark. You couldn’t see the curve of your ribs. You weren’t just muscle and skin and bone and blood. You pressed the pads of your fingers into the tender skin, felt it recoil gently. 

“Huh,” you breathed. Milo’s eyes flicked up to you, brow quirked, the spitting image of his mother. 

“What?” He asked. He tossed his chosen button up to you. 

“No just… I’ve gained some weight.” You shrugged. You tugged the shirt on, began to button it. 

“Is that a…” Milo’s voice trailed off, his tone smothered in trepidation. 

“Not a bad thing.” You shook your head as you adjusted the already starched collar. “Just a… thing. I don’t know.” 

“You looked half dead when you first got back to town.” You thought he was probably trying for a joke, but his voice betrayed him, painted a clear picture of the fear and worry your state had caused him. 

“Guess I am looking a bit less skeletal these days, huh?” You found the punch line for him. He chuckled, shaking his head. 

The suit didn’t look half bad on you, especially when Milo fussed over your hair and draped you in one of his gold chains and a few of his rings. You had tried to refuse the jewelry, but he had insisted that he couldn’t stand a look unfinished. You ended up agreeing just to get him to shut up. 

Sam knocked on Milo’s front door at six on the dot, right as Milo finished his ‘detail work’ as he called it. He rushed for the door before you could and threw it open, grinning as Sam stepped in. 

“Well, don’t you look handsome.” Milo cooed, brushing his hand over the shoulder of Sam’s navy suit. You stepped out from the bedroom and took him in. 

The suit was obviously tailored, and it fit him like a fucking glove. The trousers lined his long legs and scooped around his hips tantalizingly. You trailed your eyes over the line of his jacket as he fixed the top button, fingers shaking and struggling for just a moment before he got it. The buttons were big, probably to combat that very problem. His white shirt was perfect and unbuttoned just enough to show off a brush of chest hair, dotted with grey. 

You were drooling. You closed your mouth and swallowed. 

Sam’s eyes trailed over you for a moment before he smiled, teeth sharp and sinful. 

“Fancy place, right?” You rasped, suddenly self conscious. You fiddled with the hem of your suit jacket. 

“Yes.” Sam’s eyes flicked to the chain around your neck for a moment before meeting yours again. “Yes, it’s a fancy place. You look perfect.” He realized that he had revealed too much, his face flushing as he cleared his throat. 

“Oh-kay,” Milo clapped his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “You crazy kids had better get going. I want no funny business, young man, and you better have ‘em home by midnight or so help me-” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam rolled his eyes and shoved Milo half-heartedly. You stepped between them, linked your arm with Sam’s when he offered it. 

Sam’s truck was nice. His suit was fitted and probably cost more than everything you owned. He was taking you to a place Milo was longing to get into. 

One of these people was not like the other. 

You gripped your hand into a fist as he pulled up outside of the restaurant. It was a small, black building with its name emblazoned in backlit silver lettering. A kid in his twenties wearing a three piece suit ran up to the driver’s side door as Sam threw his truck into park and stepped out. Somebody opened your door and extended a gloved hand to help you out of the car. 

You froze, staring at that extended hand. You did not belong here. 

“Darlin’,” Sam’s voice cut through the fog that was overtaking your mind, “you okay?” You turned to look at him, and your face must have betrayed you, because his expression softened, brow down turned as he examined you with the intensity of a healer. 

“Fine.” You said quickly. Sam was taking you- you- out to a fancy place. He wanted to be seen in public with you. He wanted to parade you around in a borrowed, ill-fitting suit like you were some fucking prize to be won. You wouldn’t ruin the night for him because you felt out of place. 

“No.” He shook his head, sitting back in the driver’s seat. “No, you’re not.” You sneered, turned away from him. You didn’t want him to read anything else from your face like you were an open fucking book. 

“I’m fine.” You reiterated. The valet tutted softly and made a big show of looking back at the line that had gathered behind Sam’s truck. You wanted to pull your hair out. You wanted to find some place to hide. “Seriously.” 

“Do you wanna go somewhere else?” Sam asked softly. “If you… Darlin’ I won’t drag you in here if you’re uncomfortable.” 

You looked up at him, face closed off. His brown eyes stared back at you, unwavering. 

He was serious. 

“Yeah.” You said. You felt that wall you’d thrown up crumble, just a bit. “I mean… as long as you won’t… like I don’t want to cost you money.” 

“It’s fine.” Sam shook his head and pulled his door close. He gave the attendant that had opened your door a pointed look until they closed it. “Don’t you worry about that.” He cranked the truck and peeled out of the parking lot. Your chest eased. “Where do ya want to go?” 

“I’m not… I don’t eat out much.” You admitted. You jerked and dug into your suit pocket to retrieve your phone. “Sorry, one sec, let me-” you scrolled through your contacts and called Milo. 

He answered quickly, like he’d been sitting and waiting for you to report back. 

“What’s wrong?” He demanded, voice strained. 

“Nothing.” You said quickly. “Look, if you can get to La Whatever-the-fuck before seven the reservation’s yours. It’s under-” 

“Solaire.” Sam provided. 

“Solaire.” 

“You’re serious?” Milo squealed. You smiled. 

“Yeah. Wine and dine your sweetheart before I do.” Something crashed on the other end of the line and you heard Milo call their name across the house. You hung up in the middle of his stream of ‘thank-you’s. 

In the end, the two of you parked outside of a Seven Eleven and browsed the fluorescent aisles for dinner. You found out, in that shitty, near empty gas station, that Sam snorted when he laughed too hard. That he preferred original Cheetos to flaming ones. That he wasn’t afraid of a gas station hot dog, no matter how many horrors he’d seen in his time in the ER. That he loved root beer, which was a crime you just couldn’t forgive. 

You carried your haul back out to the parking lot and sat, shoulder to shoulder, knees pressing together, on the curb, eating your shitty snacks and trying to put a dent in your Big Gulps. 

“Thanks.” You said softly, mouth still half-full of your third hot dog. “For… yeah. Thanks.” 

“Course.” Sam answered easily. He seemed lighter, less tense than he had when he picked you up. He looked fucking good in that suit (so fucking good, God, you wanted to take it off with your teeth), but he also looked… uncomfortable. Probably about how you looked. “I don’t want you feeling out of place.” He shrugged, like accommodating your bullshit was the easiest thing in the world for him. “Besides, that place is more Vincent’s speed.” He laughed softly. 

“Oh, I can see that.” You grinned. “Pretty princess eating eight tiny French bullshit courses.” 

“And don’t forget lavender flavored air for dessert.” 

You waggled a twinkie in front of Sam’s face. “I’ll take this any day.” 

Sam laughed, snagged the twinkie from your hand. You chased after it as he leaned away until you were practically in his lap. Your eyes met his, his hand fell to your hip. He kissed you for the first time since New Years, and his touch still made you feel like you were crashing down through the atmosphere, like you were burning up and falling apart.

Maybe you could forgive the root beer if you could always taste it on his tongue. 

“Yeah,” Sam gasped when you broke apart, his forehead pressed to yours, eyes closed serenely. “Me too.”

[chasingstardust]

Hi! Could you write a Nam-Gyu x fem reader where he has a crush on the reader in the games but doesn’t want to get teased by Thanos? After Thanos’s death, he finds comfort in the reader's presence and they take thanos’s drugs together to distract their minds but the the only thing he can think about is being with her.After he finally confesses .

(Sorry if this makes no sense i don’t do this a lot🌚)

yessss i love this

What I Couldn't Say

PAIRING:Reader/Nam-gyu

WORDCOUNT: 804

Request status: Open

Nam-Gyu had always been good at pretending. He pretended not to care, pretended the games didn’t scare him, and most of all, pretended you didn’t matter to him. But you did—more than he’d ever admit. Every time you smiled, his heart did this annoying little flip that he couldn’t control. But Thanos was always watching, always teasing. If Nam-Gyu gave himself away, Thanos wouldn’t let him hear the end of it.

So, Nam-Gyu kept his feelings hidden, shoving them down and brushing you off like he did with everyone else. He told himself it was easier that way.

But then Thanos was gone.

The games didn’t stop for anyone, and neither did life. Still, something had shifted. Without Thanos’s loud voice filling the space, the silence was unbearable. Nam-Gyu felt it most when he looked at you. Without Thanos there to tease him, he had no reason to keep pretending—but now, he didn’t know how to stop.

One night, he found you sitting alone in the corner of the room, your head resting on your knees. In your hands was a small pouch that looked oddly familiar. His heart twisted when he realized it was Thanos’s.

“You’re still carrying his stuff?” Nam-Gyu asked, sitting down beside you. His voice was softer than usual, missing its usual teasing edge.

You didn’t look at him. “I found it in his things. I… don’t know why I kept it. Maybe it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Nam-Gyu said quickly. He hesitated, then added, “He’d probably laugh at you for it, though.”

That made you smile, just a little. “Yeah. He would.”

The two of you sat in silence for a while, the weight of everything settling between you. Finally, you opened the pouch and held it out to Nam-Gyu. Inside were some pills and a few other things Thanos had kept hidden.

“I don’t know why, but it feels like he’s still here when I see this,” you said. “It’s like holding onto a piece of him.”

Nam-Gyu frowned but didn’t argue. Instead, he took one of the pills and rolled it between his fingers. “He wouldn’t want us to sit here moping about him, you know. He’d say we should do something crazy.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You mean, like…?”

Nam-Gyu gave you a lopsided grin. “Maybe just enough to forget how much this sucks.”

After some hesitation, you both gave in. The drugs dulled the sharp edges of your grief, replacing it with a strange, heavy calm. For a while, you sat side by side, sharing quiet memories of Thanos. But as the minutes passed, Nam-Gyu found himself focusing less on Thanos and more on you.

You were so close, your shoulder brushing his. The sound of your voice made his chest ache in a way he couldn’t explain. And then there was your laugh—soft, but warm enough to make the room feel less cold.

Nam-Gyu swallowed hard, his mouth dry. He didn’t mean to say it, but the words came out anyway. “Y/N… I can’t stop thinking about you.”

You blinked, surprised. “What?”

He looked away, his cheeks turning red. “I’ve been trying to ignore it, okay? Because Thanos would’ve made fun of me, and I didn’t want that. But it’s true. I like you. I’ve liked you for a while.”

You stared at him, unsure of what to say. Nam-Gyu glanced at you, his nervousness clear in his eyes. “You don’t have to say anything,” he mumbled. “I just… I needed you to know.”

But instead of staying silent, you smiled. Leaning closer, you rested your head on his shoulder, the same way you had many times before.

“I like you too, Nam-Gyu,” you whispered. “You don’t have to hide it anymore.”

Nam-Gyu let out a shaky laugh, relief washing over him. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer. For the first time since the games started, he felt something other than fear or sadness. With you beside him, he felt like maybe, just maybe, there was still something worth holding onto.

[becauseimswagman1]

Illusion vs Reality: When Did the Lines Blur?

Content Creator!Kelvin Harrison Jr. x Virgin!reader

--Reader is sick and tired of her family asking where her man at so she buys one--

A/N: this is a request! AND it's part 1 (idk what it is about breaking up fics into parts but I'm addicted! I get so caught up in the plot that I need to break it up). And boy when I say this spoke to me on a personal level, I mean it!

warnings: shenanigans are afoot.

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Your family could be so mean sometimes. They constantly made you feel bad for not being like your older sister, married with children.

But you were only twenty-four, you had plenty of time to do all the things they wanted you to do… NOT! You wanted to live a little more than you already have… that literally just means losing your virginity. 

That’s right, a hot girl like you is still a virgin, by choice. You had a love-hate relationship with sex. Combine that with too many rom-com movies growing up, you wanted things to be special. But as growing up would have it, things were not like the movies. You were not a prude, but you never felt too comfortable with the guys you grew up with to take their time and not jackrabbit inside you. 

And by the time you turned eighteen, it seemed like everyone was getting their back broken! 

Now you weren’t a complete virgin though, you’ve done things like given blowjobs and sent nudes (of like your breasts and maybe an ass pic here and there). It’s just no one has touched you there, except yourself.

Fast forward to the big twenty-four and you’re more confident than you’ve ever been about everything except having sex. And that’s okay! Everyone moves at their own pace. 

It’s not like you never had the chance to do it either! You never trusted anyone enough AND once you got to the point with a guy where you’d tell them you’re a virgin, they either acted weird about it (“Oh you want me to be the first to tap that?”) or they wanted nothing to do with you (“I don’t know if I can be with someone that’s a virgin. I’m sorry.”). 

And with Thanksgiving coming up soon and no man in tow… you’re gonna be roasted alive by your family. But not this year! You were determined to figure something out. So you face-timed your bestie, Brianna. 

Thank God she answered for real, “Hey, Bri! I got a silly ass question.”

“Wassup girl?”

“How does one get a man in less than a month?”

“...You want a real relationship and not a situationship right?”

“Duh.” you thought that was kind of obvious.

“OH!” She laughed, “ Yeah girl that’s a silly ass question. Don't ask no shit like that again!”

“Whatever! You got an actual answer or what?”

Bri sat up in the camera, “You have a better chance at buying a man than getting one that’s not in it for sex in less than a month.”

You had an evil look on your face.

“Oh hell no! Don’t tell me you’re actually considering that shit?”

“I mean… I could! Just for Thanksgiving weekend.” It's not like you had a better idea.

She sighed, “I’m gonna trust you with this cause you gone do it anyway. Just make sure he’s a stand-up guy at least, girl.”

“Well, I kinda have someone in mind already.”

Brianna's eyes grew wide, “ALREADY?! You work too fast for me.”

You giggled, “I know. I’ll text you if it works?”

“Duh, girl! I gotta see how this plays out.”

You blew her a kiss, “Muah! Thank you again for the idea! And I love you!”

“I love you, too, girl!”

You hung up and opened your laptop. You really did have the perfect guy in mind.

—--------------------------

Kelvin Harrison Jr. The perfect guy’s name is Kelvin Harrison Jr. He’s an on-the-smaller side content creator with a super loyal fanbase. He’s become your internet crush. He’s so real (as real as the camera makes him look) and so damn funny! It wouldn’t hurt to shoot him an email with the proposition of being your fake boyfriend for a weekend, right?

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taglist (comment to be added, dm to be removed): @gaydakiss @sharmelasworld @ayeeeitsmiracle @femdisa @luvrsluxe @papithetia @mzv11 @gg-trini