#not telling what song im using but
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
you will never guess what im animating them to this time
2023.09.01
#hlvrai#hlvrai gordon#hlvrai fanart#wip#not telling what song im using but#its probably been done before#But i had a vision.#so so so sorry about the lack of like actual normal uploads school is kicking my butt#also its september now!!! hooray!!! big month for the country!!!#i hope no big earthquakes happen this time they're getting too comfortable with september#sorry i have many things to sau
200 notes
·
View notes
Text
In the dream I don’t tell anyone, you put your head in my lap.
In the dream I don’t tell anyone, I’m afraid to wake you up.
(richard siken, crush)
when the fic’s giving a house in nebraska >>>> (free house n lot haha)
#inspired by alucinatio#again#i dont tell anyone about this small good moment i wished for because im embarrassed by its tenderness and its impossibility#richard what☹️#GOOPED AND GAGGED i tell you#i refuse to shut up about this sorry#SO MOON SONG BY PHOEBE BRIDGERS CODED ONG#drarry#hp#hpdm#drarry fanart#harry potter#draco malfoy#digital art#digital artist#art#digital drawing#digital illustration#artists on tumblr#illustration#fair disclaimer on the reference used#understand that i only borrowed the pose n dont share the same beliefs as the og painter ewwww#i hope thats clear i mean this is the same circle that is associated w jkr ew#im assuming we’re not transphobic#i would HOPE SO#like 😟#thats just embarrassing in the year 2024#anyways#<3
430 notes
·
View notes
Text
just saw someone say Rick Riordan making a TV show is just as bad as anything JKR has done. BFFR you're comparing Rick Riordan trying to make his world more inclusive, changing some parts because of money/time constraints, or just making changes cus he thinks they're needed, to JKR being a terrible person!
#and not to say Ricks work is perfect. ill be the firat to tell you his mistakes. his aspec rep is shit. his minorities rep has problems#he has general time line problems. im not says hes perfect but he tried from a good place#jkr named a character ChoChang. her Scottish character blow stuff up and tried to make alcohol. named a black character Shackelbolt#like damn get over yourself.#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#percy series#pjo series#pjo#pjo tv show#pjo tv series#pjo tv adaptation#if you wanna say shit about Rick ok. but be correct about it#how is he just as bad as jkr for not using the book he made in the early 2000s an exact script for the TV show being released in 2024?#and they yall had the audacity to be pissed when he didn't put a song about sex thats literally says `fuck her face° in the background of#LITERAL 12 YEAR OLDS in a place with memory altering properties..... thats whats you wanted. children getting high to a song about sex.#°oH bUt iN tHe mOvIe tHaT i WaTcHeD wHeN i waS tWeLvE' where the actors where like what 18? and weren't 12? that one? 🙄#some of you are getting on my nerves. yes the show's pacing is eh really thats a reason to curisfy Rick Riordan? thats what you're deciding#this is the line? a tv show thats on its first season and is more accurate then the movies that came out?#good to know
621 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know what pmo soooo bad is that now that im in my twenties i realise no one knows how to fangirl anymore like genuinely tf is this about?? i mention the most godly piece of media known to man and i get a “yeah i watched that its prtty good” ???? i find out sm1 likes the same media i do and go on a rant of my takes and yap on how i like xyz and get “yeaaa” like the horrror. omg bro FUCK UP i knoe its good thats not what im askinggg.
likr its different if they’re genuinely just not interested in wtv im talking about but thats not my point like EVERYONE acts like this nowadays about EVERYTHING like howewewwww. like what. what is life even about if not to act embarrassingly crazed over something hilariously inconsequential. when i ask “how did u ffind it” its ur excuse to act like a fool. i want fav characters, analyses, takeaways, otps, ANYTHING INTERESTING not “yeah its alr”
#then they change topic to idk even waht. small talk or some ass 💔#like bye i cant speak to you#or they just fangirl over the actors only like get awayyyyyy. its not even proper fangirlinf its just like. tt edits 💀#we used to memorise characters BIRTHDAYS. we used to be a COMMUNITY#like tell me why i bless you with rec aot to you or eeato and ur best response is ‘wow this was crazy’#IM KILLING YOU WITH A GUNNNN OMGGGGGGG 😭😭😭😭#be careful what you rec nowadays it has to be someone you trust to be crazy 😭😭😭💀#aot#attack on titan#eeaao#everything everywhere all at once#haikyuu#fmab#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#fruits basket#howls moving castle#atla#six of crows#avatar: the last airbender#owari no seraph#castlevania#the hunger games#the cruel prince#omori#the song of achilles#arcane#jojos bizarre adventure#the poppy war#bnha#rewriting
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
@kafuplush me when I am Dmitry in the facility and I am told to do things so I do them:
#📚 my posts#🖍️ art#parties are for losers#dr temnova#you didnt tell me who or what to draw so uhhh#hope this satisfies you!#i wanna do something more complex in fact i have an old draft of olga around somewhere (REALLY old)#but its been difficult to draw things in one session recently so im just a lot slower in general#gosh i have had to have listened to comfort zone way too many times by now#it used to be my favourite out of the songs i think?#i loooveee problematic women <3
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
how much tism do you have? well episode 4 season 2 of Arcane, the bug fight? yeah the music there is the motif of the LoL Worlds 2018 Anthem: Rise, I stopped watching the episode to spent 20 minutes trying to isolate the track from a recording because I cant find it on the ost list, to make sure I wasnt going insane. yup their the same. I recognized it immediately :)
#Riot and Fortiche: leaving insane details and things for us to find#What I focused on: IS THAT THE FUCKING RISE MOTIF???#yes rise is my fav lol song but i still never expected it to be here#please tell me im not the only one who noticed this please#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#ig#arcane s2 spoilers#league of legends#lol arcane#arcane s2
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Actually can't believe they'll give us an episode like Rookies and show us rishi outpost and not tell us every single detail of each clone on the damned moon like-
#op is actually losing it#ik i need to read more comics to get a wider understanding of a ton of the clones but like#must they tease us so-#i am verging on rabid#takes a deep breath#pls tell me you get it#star wars#the clone wars#the bad batch#clone headcanons#o'niner??? you cant lie and say u wish he didnt have more screen time#miss those mfs#rishi outpost has me entranced#domino squad#dont get me started on droidbait#oh and all clones stationed on kamino and coruscant#bc damn what a post#clone troopers#star wars clone wars#gn im tipsy and very much in love#same goes for barton iv in tbb#like bro WHAT#y'all're gonna show me that makeshift shrine and NOT tell me about each and every clone who served and died under Mayday??????#in my feels#send me songs you associate with random clones challenge#srsly do it i love music and it inspires me to write
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
👁️🦎🎯
(crops under cut)
#natsume yuujinchou#matoba seiji#natori shuuichi#horrible exorcists#sorry i couldnt think of a caption i literally sat here for like 2 minutes lol#usually i use a quote from the scene or a lyric from a song but in this scene they're just Looking#anyway FUCK architecture#really though this is csp's perspective ruler's fault. i shoulda just done this by hand#but i made it work. since it wasnt super super complicated lol#ummm i feel like natori looks like a baby ceo but that is what he was wearing at least in the anime version of this scene#and midorikawa's kind of vague about clothes so i made it easy on myself#but why are you rolling up to the exorcist meeting in a navy blazer and tan chinos?#his uniform color is tan so ig the pants could be from that but the blazer......#tryna represent the natori clan in front of the other exorcists ig idk#meanwhile matobas just in his gakuran lol#hes not the clan head yet so he can just be there as a kid#he even gets told off by takuma and called seiji-kun.....could you imagine like.#it's weird for him to not be matoba#anyway. um i completely kind of fudged the architecture because its hard to tell where exactly in the building this scene is and#i had a specific composition in mind#i only realized i messed up how the windows work like 3/4 of the way into lineart soooo#but thats the kind of thing only i would notice probably#btw i was originally drawing a different scene of them but i was faced with the reality of foliage.#and i remembered this romeo and juliet ass scene existed so#i chose architecture LOL#okay last thing. i feel like natoris haircut is too polished and nice but fr wtf is his canon hair#im doing my best LOL.........but boy#OKAY im done
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
just received +25 psychic damage by relating song lyrics to the treatment of demigods in pjo
#coffins by misterwives#when i tell yall i made myself nauseous#i heard the lyrics “how do you soften the thought of carrying coffins? we were so alive only to see us wither and die” and i thought of#lester carrying jasons coffin to camp jupiter#this entire song feels like demigods who once had faith in the gods. but just can't anymore after being used for so long#god what i could do if i could edit videos still#lyrics “your ego swallowed you and from there you fled so far away could not find your way back”#SO lester coded#OH FUCK IT GETS WORSE#“i shook your ears tried to make you hear my call but you were long gone. no hope in a sunless dawn”#tell me thats not piper when shes holding jasons body#oh my GOD I SHOULD BE SLEEPING RN BUT SDJFKSLNFJSKLNJK im inflicting the damage on myself at this point#trials of apollo#the burning maze#toa spoilers#tbm spoilers#jason grace#lester papadopoulos#piper mclean#percy jackson#pjo#oh my GOD upon further analysis#it could also be very much thalia @ luke coded#about his corruption and turning his back on demigods#ohhhhhh this song is going to be the death of me
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Guys I am going CRAZY. Yk that YouTuber 'Danny Motta'? I need to know his outro song. It scratches my brain, and I NEED it in my Spotify playlist. Please send help🙏
#danny motta#danny#motta#girlhood#beauttiful girls#girl blogger#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#im just a girl#this is what makes us girls#tumblr girls#this is a girlblog#girlblogger#song#tell me
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
akanematic.mp4 (youtube link)
#I love how akane banashi discusses grief. I am pairing it with one of my fave songs about grief#akane banashi#issho arakawa#akane osaki#seb draws#it's so cool how everyone is grieving!!! each indiv chara in this vid is grieving for diff reasons diff ways and they all overlap <3#u know what i'm not done. i WILL go into this#kiroku is making space for grief by taking on the lost shiguma name. It’s he has lost miroku which is like losing a father. but he moves on#kiroku is the father figure for kisoba and rokuen that miroku couldn't be for kiroku. he literally carries kashiwaya (shiguma's art) w/him!#at the same time! kiroku DIES so soon after establishing the arakawa school and he tells kisoba 'you killed me'#this moment is the hammer in the coffin of issho's grief. he already blames himself bc it was HIS performance that resulted in#kiroku getting kicked out. a small death. and now he's told 'you killed me.' insane. Unless it was just a dream idk unclear#but again looking at how kiroku is characterized i don't think he meant to blame issho. it's very likely issho misinterpreted#just like when he misinterpreted what kiroku was trying to say when he started the arakawa school#and that brings us to the CURRENT SHIGUMA#who not only misses his mentor! but also his relationship with kisoba/issho!!!!! HE STILL CALLS HIM ANIKI IM SO SICK#I constantly think about the panel where he looks at issho with trepidation as issho says he will repent for the rest of his life.#that is when the disconnect started!!!! and it only became more extreme when he was taught shiguma's art but couldn't MASTER it!!!!#imagine how Issho felt abt shiguma wasting the opportunity he never got. and becomes even worse after shinta tries to carry shiguma's art#issho is like damn shiguma was too weak and now he brings me another weakling wtf is this!! he's out! expulsion! and ofc shiguma is mad.#but ofc WE all know what issho is TRULY mad abt is really just kiroku! and his own guilt his own grief wtfff#MY GOD.#WHICH BRINGS US TO AKANE#HER PARALLELS WITH ISSHO DRIVE ME CRAZYYYY#trying to avenge the loss of her father's rakugo!!!!!#AKane almost losing herself in her desire to copy her dad#AND!!! AUUGHGHGHGH i know folks were like HUH???? when akane was reflecting on how she could have gone on a dark path w/out shiguma#Bc didn’t she already love rakugo??? But see if we only focus on Loving the Art we become Issho.#think akane first zenza training arc and kibataraki. she loves the art but can't connect to the audience. now add crippling guilt.#Shinta Arakawa is dead and Akane accepted this. but she is still so angry. issho and akane are foils u see.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay but before the justice league met the rest of the batfam I have a scenario
At one point one of the justice league, prolly Superman catches a ride with Batman for whatever reason and Superman being the goofy man he is, is getting awkward at the quiet notices a cd saying “the bat jams” and so he puts in the disc making a joke about Batman listening to heavy metal before B could even stop.
Superman isn’t sure what he expected but the blaring lyrics or barbie world is certainly not it, he looks over to B with shock written all over his face but Batman will not tell about the fact that the kids had contributed to make that cd for him as a joke, he will not risk the knowledge of his family getting out there, will not risk more potential danger to come there way, and honestly didn’t want to deal with the questions.
And so all he simply says is “mm good song”
Superman is FROZEN, he feels like he discovered a new layer of Batman but he still can’t believe that he owns a disc that’s called ‘the bat jams’ and has barbie world on it, he simply can’t process the information that has just been given to him.
#batman#bruce wayne#superman#clark kent#dc#dc comics#justice league#i CANT write for shit#this is just a little crack idea that formed in my head#I was making a Batman playlist#but the only song that’s in it is barbie world#I don’t know why#please don’t try to get answers#Superman later tells the rest and they simply do not belive him#JL: Batman? listening to barbie world?? I’m a barbie girl in a barbie world??? Clark you need some rest this is Batman we’re talking about#Superman: IM NOT LYING I SWEAR IT HAPPENED#Batman: *enters* what is happening?#Hal: Clark he was just tryna tell us you listen to barbie world? as if.#Batman: I don’t listen to music it’s a distraction from our work and is an interference#JL: see ? he doesn’t even listen to music crazy
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
-click image for transparency effect-
Goodnight Splatoon 1's server's and thank you for everything.
I remember seeing the first trailer for Splatoon. At first I wasn't interested at all... a shooter game? Not my style of game play... But then I kept watching and wow... I just got so captivated by what I saw that it was the first game I had ever pre-ordered that wasn't a Pokemon game. I used to do something called the "24 hour challenge" something that no one else but me did because I made it up. I would stay up the full 24 hours for Splatfest for the first handful of Splatfests and play the wholeeeee time. Or at least until my brother wanted to play and I'd take a nap, haha. That stopped once school started up again but those memories of my 24 hour challenges are still ones that I hold close to my heart. My first real Splatoon friend was Nick! We would play the new stages together in recon as soon as they would come out and we were both online. We still talk and I'd still consider him one of my closest friends. Thanks for sticking with me all these years Nick, I appreciate you more than words could ever express. I've made more Splatoon friends over the years and I'm happy to have every single one of you. Here's to the future!
#splatoon#splatoon 1#splatoon 3#splatoon art#my art#artists on tumblr#color#dare#splat dare#friends#nick#arson#captian#splatoon captain 3#captian 3#captin 3#captain 3#3#i remeber songs like “its raining tacos” haveing a 10 hour version and there being comments about how if you listioned to the whole thing#you chould make a wish and have it granted. i used the 24 hour challange to take advantage of that#another song was wacky inflatable arm flailing tube man#the wish sort of came true so i think it was worth it. it hasent come all the way true tho yet so i wont be telling you what i wished for#not takeing any chances haha#paint markers#ive wanted to make this peice for a long time... im really happy with how it turned out :]#i deconstructed my paint markers useing a yogurt lid. isopropanol alcohol. and a paintbrush to get the transparency of my pants#thank you again for the memorys yall. love you <3#anyways- *turns to look at pretendo*#IF YOU SAW THIS POSTED YESTERDAY NO YOU DIDNT. I WENT TO CORRECT IT AND WHEN I SAVED THE POST IT POSTED INSTEED.#i think i fixed it tho-
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble
I will not be brief, all under the cut
To clear some things right off the bat:
No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.
Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality
The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.
This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.
Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:
Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.
All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.
Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).
And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.
At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.
I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.
Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.
This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.
It shifts something between them.
From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.
As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.
Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.
Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.
I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.
I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.
I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.
As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.
I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.
Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great
#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one#i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking#and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped#i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format#anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head#idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope#im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT#ieytd#john juniper#reginald crane#junicrane#starstruck#i expect you to die#<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that#the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two#make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL#GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga#thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi urgent question, what does it mean when the friend that left you five years ago remakes the playlist she made you for your eighteenth birthday with the description, "For all that which I needed to leave behind. Tall tales (which was the name of the playlist she made for your birthday), great mistakes, and the time of my life." And another playlist with the description, "My life as it is! Taller tales than ever before." And posts them both to the Spotify she knows you can see? What does it mean? Hello what does this mean??!? I need someone to please present the correct answer because I don't know what to think or feel but I can't stop looking at the playlists and crying, and I'm at work so that's not great, so I just need an answer please.
#i cant ask her because we are no contact and have been for most of those five years#i dont know if its a way to broach breaking no contact or if its just her eay of coping#with the situation st hand#but then she couldve posted them privately if she didnt want me to see them#so did she want me to see them? it seems so because she referenced the playlist she made me and one of them is a remake#so it seems like a message for me. ehats the message?#that she wants to come back? that she never wants to come back and i need to get used to that?#that shes just fucking with me? but shes not cruel like that#she was never cruel like that. she wouldn't post them just to hurt me#and the description of the second playlist makes it seem like an attempt at connection. right?#like a view into her life#but the description on the first one sends a different message#i feel like im standing in front of an imaginary conspiracy board and wuickly letting it consume me#in a way that if i was a detective i would be taken off the case for getting too close#ive been trying to analyze the lyrics of the song choices and what they could mean#some of them on the playlist thats a remake of my birthday playlist are from the original birthday playlist#but when she sent me that birthday playlist she said the order mattered#and now the order is different and there are some different songs so does the order still matter?#if it does. which im sure it does because i knew her. then what does it mean?#im the meme 'what does it mean? what does it all mean??#this time of year and also every day is hard with missing her and such#but i thought i was doing a little better. getting iver losing her. internalizing that shes not coming back#and then i checked her spotify and found the damn fucking playlists and now im spiraling#and i just wish i could talk to ger about it but i cant break no contact#i feel like the guy in paper towns. but in that one the girl didnt want to be found. she left the clues to show she was alright#but didnt want to be found by the guy that cared enough to put the clues together#i am at work and spiraling and trying not to cry in front of coworkers but i cant stop going iver the playlists and#trying to analyze them#can someone please tell me what they mean beyond a shadow of a doubt so i can breathe again?
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don’t really talk about it much on here because I’m extremely lucky to be able to understand exactly what’s going on in my body, but it’s scary to live for years as someone who Gets Things Done in a way your peers don’t really understand, be putting effort into so many things you care about, and then suddenly lose the ability to do not only that but also basic tasks overnight after a deadline, and bit by bit after many. it’s scary getting really irritable sometimes to the point of violence, just when you were meant to be celebrating the rewards from your hard work, the only impact of the work you did that you can see is that you overdrafted your ability to do anything. including have a basic conversation without getting grumpy or crying. and your body is going to make you pay it back with interest, you already know that, but you don’t know how to start filling yourself back up. you’ve only ever enjoyed being on the grind, hard at work on exciting things.
I don’t know how many of you have been through the kind of burnout that’s years of needing 12hrs of sleep a night but with terrible insomnia, waking up to what feels like a hangover for weeks on end with little relief then rinse and repeat without having a single drink, feeling too sick to eat and needing to exercise to emotionally regulate but being unable to, anxiety that doesn’t come from worry but you’ll pick that up too at some point, dissociating every time you try to do mentally taxing tasks that you’re PAID for so it takes an hour of grounding yourself just to get five minutes worth of productive concentration, falling asleep the minute you feel a little safe by being in the presence of loved ones. but I suspect I’m not the only one.
I’ve had songs for the energetic and angsty times leading up to this. for the exasperated times and the brain fog and the times where all my limited energy is tied up in feeling things. that I need to, need to acknowledge, but it’s overwhelming and I live in a haze for weeks as a result of. songs telling of the kind of youth I wish I had, even when I was sold something else. songs for the months spent as a teenager trying to be there for my friends, worrying for them, distracting me from worrying for myself, trying to cling on to positivity and hope amongst it when I had to choose to make a discipline of always seeing that. I’ve had songs for healing and when healing is harder than expected and songs that have the right level of musical complexity to capture the layers of everything that’s happening in my head, making it sound good, telling me it’s gonna be okay.
I don’t know how I could ever say thank you for this. but I do know that I see parts of myself in the people behind these songs, of course I do, and I worry for them as a result and ache for them because it’s hard enough to feel this way when no one knows me or feels the need to control me or mould me into what they think I should be. I’d do anything to keep them all healthy and happy and all of their loved ones too and I don’t think it’s strange as a fan to take that seriously. I hope we can understand the need to treat them gently, and to while not questioning their privacy and the fact that they’re never going to tell us everything they go through, listen to our intuition when we catch something we relate to and treat what they’ve shared with us or hinted at with the dignity we would if someone we love told us something vulnerable. be kind in our expectations and be intentional in the fan culture we create because it does make its way back to them.
and the same goes with all of you. we’re bonding over the same things. I know a lot of this fandom is in the stage where interpersonal relationships are hard. we don’t mean to be grumpy of frustrated but we are. and I’m sending love to all of you. we can get through this together. it’s what they’ve always longed for isn’t it?
#thoughts after how worried I’ve been recently. since june I think#I’d love to start a conversation in this fandom about the connection im newly discovering between burnout and mental illness and fatigue#in a way we can be positive about these things and be there for each other without calling anyone to confirm if we interpret some songs#to represent experiences that may or may not be theirs because it doesn’t matter in the end. we have these songs and if you get it you get#we’ve all been clocked as ‘not feeling very well’ recently anyway so. it doesn’t need to be specific. but we do need to be kind#like hey. artist. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through to have written these songs that mean this to me. but I’m here for you#fill in the blanks. all we’ve got are our stories to share. I hope mine helps us understand and be a little kinder to those who need it#without thinking we can judge who we think needs it. but rather default to kindness and in the case of musicians etc that means patience#it means we learn together. what it means to connect and have boundaries and the boundaries they might like to have#anyway I’ve not said who these songs are by so if you reblog and wanna tag another artist that’s g I’ve got a few by several others as well#but I know this fandom. I know this band and I know exactly why I worry for each band member though I’m not gonna say here. just. take care#5 seconds of summer#5sos#luke hemmings#ashton irwin#calum hood#michael clifford#exact experience of burnout I have talked about is that of someone with adhd and a pda profile and some form of bipolar#which may be a product of pda profile things or not. these aren’t the only diagnoses I’d likely fit but they are the ones that explain the#story and have guided me to understand how to recover and I’m doing that bit by bit. and if you want me to tell you how please ask#but I’m not advertising it cause that’s weird I’d sound like a scammer if I did. even if when I’m hypomanic I think I can heal everyone
9 notes
·
View notes