#GOOPED AND GAGGED i tell you

[ziggystqrdust]

In the dream I don’t tell anyone, you put your head in my lap.

In the dream I don’t tell anyone, I’m afraid to wake you up.

(richard siken, crush)

when the fic’s giving a house in nebraska >>>> (free house n lot haha)

[orrsoared]

of course now that everyone’s home for christmas they’re reminding me of shit i did in high school.

how i’d hide in the bathroom and call the office pretending to be someone’s mom so they could leave early. or forge signatures on dismissal slips so no one would have to go to chemistry class. to be fair, the teacher was an evil fucking ghoul and if you caught her on a bad day? good luck!

[starlight-artbby]

Y'all the newest X-Men 97 episode blew me away. Like the animation ate down and it was just so good like I was thoroughly enjoying every second.

I knew that Scott was gonna hold some grudge against the professor and I don't blame him. He left his dream to his team and honestly failed him and damn did this episode remind him that over and over again. Especially Rogue who clearly was fed up with his ass. And I swear I was gonna cry when I saw her wearing Remy's coat and I had a tear nearly fall from my eye when Kurt looked so devastated to tell her again the Remy is dead like ugh I was in so much pain.

Speaking of pain Jubilee and Roberto. How dare they do this to me. I knew from a mile away that Roberto Was gonna go with Magneto (along with Rogue) and I completely understand why. His mother straight up abandon him and handed him to the people who wanted to kill him. Like of course he is gonna be pissed but when Jubilee said you still have me I felt like a part of me died because he walked away and that shit had to hurt.

Now I completely laughed when Magneto said the line about Lilandra. I can't remember exactly what he said but I do recall being gagged and gooped and not him telling Xavier to shut up like if those two don't just go to couples counseling...

Now I won't lie, Morph had me when he pretending to be Sinister so if I were Bastion I most certainly was gonna get caught. May I also express how I thought that Beast was going to get pieced through the chest during that fight sequence like I was on the edge of my toes.

Once again Sinister proved to me why I hate him so much. Having Jean fight her own son?!? Foul and then her contacting Cyclops to tell him that she loves him!!! Like why does X-Men 97 like hurting us? And if Storm or Forge ends up dead, I am most certainly fighting someone.

Now the new looks... Huh... Why did they have to put that cap on my boy Scott. And Jean she ate down with the boots but the gloves and the mask?!?! No mam. I loved Rogues outfit along with Logan's. They could've had morph in something a lot better. Kurt ate as usual and of course Jubilee ate up her look along with Storm. I couldn't tell if beast put on anything different so I can't say much about that but regardless, some of the team needed a better wardrobe.

Now I know some people will probably get mad at Rogue and Roberto for going with Magneto but honestly, Rogue was there on Genosha. It has messed her up so badly and we continue to see the side effects till this very episode. I already explained Roberto so I honestly am not mad at him but I am sad that he couldn't see that Jubilee was there for him just like sadly Rogue couldn't see that the team would be there for her but honestly, their feelings are still valid as fuck and I don't want to hear anyone else say other wise.

Also why did they have to do Wolverine like that!! Huh!!! Like y'all better have his regeneration ability kick in. I also feel so bad cause I know that nobody was expecting murder to occur up there that's for sure.

(also Scott stopping Xavier from forcing Magneto to return power was everything to me cause he did it for Jean and it's time he shows that woman some love.)

Also where is Bishop!?!?!

Now for the things I enjoyed. I loved the new opening. I was so happy to see Storm back in it again. It really made things start off well for the episode. I loved Rogue clocking Xavier and telling him exactly what she needed to say.

My favorite part of the episode though had to be when Jean and Storm had reunited and when they parted ways on the mission. Those two are sisters and I love the show for reminding us of their incredible bond I just lived to see it.

I also enjoyed Scott and Jean giving each other a hug before they parted ways and when Scott gave Nathan that advice I truly loved it. I am hoping that'll stop him from attacking Jean (possibly) if not, Jean will girlboss her way out of there.

I can't wait for the final episode (I hope I get Remy and Logan and anyone else who gets injured back) ♡♡♡♡

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 6 thoughts

it’s been an exhausting day. work was awful. i was brave and didn’t cry whilst there. and for that, i deserve this episode even more than usual. 

oooooh it’s an internet episode!!!! an episode about an internet killer!!! that probably felt new and scary back then!!! i’m excited to see something i assume as naturally dangerous as hitchhiking to be seen as scary and new. let us jump in, and enjoy the adventures of our agents, and numb ourselves to the hardship of the outside world.

these two people are in a car. he is smooth talking her. oh… they only waited three months to meet in person after talking online. hmm… is that speedy or not? i guess that depends on who you ask. for me, i’m gonna say speedy. because they didn’t even see each other’s faces before this.

he has mysterious scars on his neck. yeah, i noticed that very conspicuous camera panning. the music is very ominous. and now they’re kissing. 

OH??? THERE IS A STICKY FLUID. IN HER MOUTH. an unusual one. not whatever you were thinking. what the hell… was that man some kind of insect????? there was real goop in there, man. eughhh it was very gross. 

cop is approaching the car next day. and she is like. jelly? as in, covered in gel. the gelatin monster has struck and apparently he’s surfing the net. 

(trust when i say i’m not a gelatin monster. or don’t trust. perhaps skepticism is better)

okay, investigation time. this guy shakes hands with mulder and entirely ignores scully. tells me a lot about his character very quickly. mulder has also got some more conventional looking shades this time around. perhaps his other ones were just not keeping the sun out like he had hoped for.

body reveal! so it seems that the goop has um. melted her skin? EUGH. mulder swabs the goop. it’s just a prop, i tell myself to avoid gagging. a prop with excellent construction that was very carefully crafted. shoutout prop team as always. 

detective looks real freaked out by the goop. yeah he’s not special in that regard.

mulder says he has heard of similar killings from women placing ads in the paper! i don’t want them to separate though, as he announce he’s going on an investigation while she does an autopsy. c’mon, can’t we do some teamwork in the same room?

scully looks disgusted at the bloody goop in her hand. this is appearing to be a universal sentiment.

the goop man is at the computer typing to another woman. and smiling mischievously. we learn, from a woman dropping a key off at his door, that his name is mr. incanto, and she thinks that since he types and gets a lot of packages, he must be a writer or an editor. and she wants him to read her poems. wow. leaping to conclusions here. i admire it. it’s clear she’s flirting with him, and the idea of a person you’re attracted to reading your poems is a wild one for me to entertain. personally i would rather explode crazy style.

scully is scrubbed up <3 and she is so cute <3 i don’t mean this in a condescending way… she just looks cute in a fully “i respect her capabilities” kind of way. don’t worry. but this man is not respecting her and is shocked she’s a doctor. rude as hell… could never be me.

he says he’s old fashioned. umm okay if you want to be all manly about it how about you cut up the goop body yourself… oh that’s right you can’t. because you don’t have the skill set. or even any skill sets, as far as i can tell.

he says this is effecting her judgement because the victim is a woman and he isn’t being sexist. IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR MOUTH MAN…. she is so patient even when she ought to rip his heart from his chest with her teeth

she’s making a face when he leaves like she really IS thinking about doing some heart ripping and then she gets into the recording mode. and the body has increased in goopiness. in fact. there is only a skeleton now and a LOT of liquid. oh… 

mulder is asking about the murder victim, and he’s sitting on a very 90’s printed couch, and yeah he looks good. don’t worry about it. he’s asking the victim’s roommate what chat room they met in. now personally, if i was talking to people on a chat room, i would not be telling my roommate the names of said chat rooms, but maybe it was different vibe wise at that time. imagine if my roommate knew i ran a blog like this. i couldn’t picture such a thing. and the victim would READ her roommate the letters???!? OH I CANNOT IMAGINE SUCH A THING!!!!

he uses the roommate’s house phone to call scully, who is dealing with a very wet skeleton. but that’s so funny to me. he wanted to use someone else’s phone to call her. maybe his phone still hadn’t been replaced since that kid melted it in episode 3.

he’s putting out a localized online warning… is that a thing? wow. you learn so much on this television program.

“in life, bones have the tensile strength of forged iron”, says scully. and i’m giggling. n kicking my feet.

ohhh the bone is SQUISHY. it is not supposed to be this way. but it did look quite satisfying. again, props team, shoutout.

oh tea… the body fat wasn’t there!!! it disappeared. scully is like, why would he do that, steal a victim’s fat. and i would love to know the same thing. 

another woman is preparing to meet with the goop monster. oh, but someone is telling her there was a warning SPECIFICALLY for woman in cleveland to not go meet people online! but she’s like nooo i’m a good judge of character. LIES LIES LIES. she’s only been talking to him for a MONTH???? HOW CAN YOU JUDGE A CHARACTER IN A MONTH?

the killer’s at a fancy restaurant looking place with a bouquet of flowers and he’s checking his watch. oh and he dumps the flowers!!! queen of self preservation saved herself tonight by standing him up??? yes, it appears this is the case!! 

now there are a bunch of ladies on the side of the road. i have only seen this happen in this show and never in real life, but maybe i'm not looking in the right direction. NO! he sees a woman and smiles. they go to a back alley… no!! but she won’t kiss him. okay, i think, she has a chance. alas. i was wrong. so he attacks. OH AND HE IS SLURPING ON HER BODY???? another woman finds her goop-ified. 

they’re at the scene and the detective is being awful (shocker!) but mulder hands over some of the letters from the killer, and notes that they contain letters from 16th century italian poems. which tells me he is familiar with 16th century italian poems. ohhhhhhhhhh. blushing a lil. 

focus. so the fellow would have access to niche italian poems, is what we are learning here. likely a college professor, or a grad student, or something along those lines.

the killer should also have a wound pattern, they note, because the woman scratched him very well.

and BLEGHHHH, cut to his place, where he’s cutting his wound??? like straight up trimming it like it’s fabric or something. nasty nasty nasty nasty!!!

someone is bringing him a package. and the woman who asked to show him her poems asks him to dinner?!?!?! but he says he’s busy. the teenage daughter reads him for filth. he’s creepy and smells weird. delivered by a girl who meant every word she said.

scully is posing impeccably, looking as someone types on a computer. it was formidable.

mulder comes by with some results and he sort of. scoops her out of the room. 😳

theory time in the hallway! hallway theory time!! always one of my favorite times. “okay, it’s not yet the finely detailed insanity that you’ve come to expect from me” <- at least he’s self aware 

FAT SUCKING VAMPIRE LET’S GOOOO. such a preposterous creature. i have to admire it.

there are examples of this in nature, right? “i don’t know too many scorpions who surf the internet” scully, you just offended the coolest scorpion alive somewhere out there. but they couldn’t hear you so it’s okay. just don’t ever say that again…

scully wants to brief the people involved in the case and the detective is again being weird. mulder recognizes this. i can see it.

okay, so the killer has some more niche italian poetry. and an email from the woman who saved herself by not showing up! nooo, i thought she had escaped!

knock at the door. it’s scully. but not at the door of the right guy!! the detective is at the door of the right guy!!! 

mulder makes some remark about not being a good salesman because no one answered the door. and yeah i giggled. but she cuts him off with the fact the detective hasn’t answered his calls or returned… has he been gooped?!

now the killer is out with the woman who previously saved herself. and she sees his skin. and she offers to drive him home!!! noooo ellen :( don’t fall for his tricks and lies

the poetry woman is at his door. she puts a HUGE thing of poems under his door. 

but back in the car he is about to smooch ellen. somehow poetry lady let herself into his room??? and a bunch of flies are around. 

(we later learn she was the housekeeper or landlord or something so yeah. she would have access to the keys. but at the time i was baffled)

goop monster and ellen don’t smooch because he sees the poem lady is in his room!!! and the detective is in the tub!!! and he walks in right as she sees this!!! oh no. violence ensues…

her daughter comes to the door. and asks where her mom is. and he GRABS her weird as hell. and says he’s leaving.

mulder is sitting on a table again because he’s weird. but the girl calls the police!!! and they found her mom’s body and the detective's. the little girl asks scully why someone would do this and she says she doesn’t know… STOP I’LL SOB

okay, this dude’s name is virgil and there are no records of him existing. virgil. damn. maybe he’s FROM 16th century italy, because that’s a 16th century sounding name. are there any italian legends of fat sucking vampires? can’t say i’m very familiar with their lore 

they’re trying to get into his computer and all the files were deleted. ohhh they have floppy disks!!! i love floppy disks 💾

the killer went to ellen’s place?!!?!? and she locks the door. ellen please pull out a glock at this time. 

scully sent out a warning to everyone in proximity. and three of them were already missing!!!! that is evil :(

and ellen got the email but he’s in the room. and he starts attacking… oh lord, just as the agents roll up. 

they get in formation and then kick down her door and WHEW they way they work as a team… i’m eating it up. sweeping the rooms. guns cocked. 

ellen is under some sheets and coated in goop whilst mulder does parkour to go and find this guy. GO GO MULDER RUN RUN!!! his voice is all growly while he holds a shadowy figure at gunpoint, but he only runs into a teenager. no! poor kid :(

NOOO… THE KILLER WAS HIDING IN THE BATHROOM AND SCULLY WAS GOING IN THERE TO GET SOME STUFF TO TAKE CARE OF ELLEN!! he smashed her head in the mirror and he starts to goop her until ellen does in fact roll up with a glock. and shoots him in the chest. YES ELLEN I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU <3

so they have him in custody now and his skin is suuuuuuper dry and peeling and nasty. and scully asks what the hell he was doing and he goes on about stuff blah blah blah and then he quotes some italian and she gets freaked and dips. and we end with a hannibal-esque shot of his evil peeling nasty face. and some contemplative music.

so. that was gross.

grossness established. i once again kind of enjoyed this episode. like was i gagging, and not in the good way? yeah i was. but again with the suspense. i think the plot could be absolutely ridiculous- like an actual fat vampire- and if the plot and pacing are the right tempo, i’ll find myself fully absorbed into it. 

but i can’t help but feel that i’m missing something. the italian seemed too purposeful. is there some medieval tale of a fat vampire? i’m being so serious btw like actually. is that a reference that flew over my head? is it in dante’s inferno or something? i love history but middle ages europe always puts me to sleep so i can’t say i’m familiar with the literature or tropes beyond what i learned in art history class. where we never covered ANY sort of vampire. just a lot of baby jesus and also mary and sometimes adult jesus. 

hmm. so i’m wondering here what that was about. and yeah, i could google it. but again, more fun when you tell me things.

i mean, if it was something they just made up for fun, i get that too. like earlier we had that evil mermaid baby that lived in the waterways. and we had that evil twin that looked like the fiji mermaid. and eugene tooms the lizard man. the seriousness with which the situation is played enhances the campy angle when you ponder it.

overall, it was interesting to see a world where the internet was new and fresh and scary. now it’s scary in mostly familiar ways. but it was not always this way! and while i am a little confused on the concept of the episode itself- who exactly our monster of the week was, if he even WAS a monster of traditional sort of means- i won’t lie, the episode had me invested. there were also moral questions raised about how someone could do something so evil, specifically in relation to scully’s character, which probably speaks to her biggest fear being that anyone could pose a threat, which i think i’ll contemplate at another time, because it is fascinating, especially when you consider… i think it’s s2 episode 13? where the narrative also really dives into this question. how can people do evil things, and how can good people cope with knowing that it’s impossible to know who is capable of doing terrible things?

after a hard day at work in which a million things went sideways, it does feel nice to watch my pals mulder and scully do some sleuthing, no matter the situation in which they find themselves.

the goopsterrrrrrrr

[jinns-anime-shit]

Imagine you’re one of Yuji’s cousins and you lived in the US until you found out his grandpa died and so you move back to Japan to become Yuji’s guardian but Choso is already taking care of him and won’t let him leave so you have to live with both of them

You and Choso hate each other and are hostile at first but after a night of shared secrets and deep life stories you end up falling asleep on each others shoulders on the couch

And after that Choso starts to do small cute gestures and he smiles his cute awkward smile at you whenever he can because he loves how it makes your cheeks warm and that sweet giggle slip from your lips

And one day Yuji can’t find either of you until he knocks on your door and finds Choso cuddled up on top of the sheet with you under them and his face is buried in your side because he had a nightmare but didn’t want to wake you so he just rested there. Yuji takes a picture and sneaks out before either of you notice

And then later when Megumi is over you hear Yuji giggling about something and showing Megumi his phone. Megumi is a lot more chill and discreet but he does give you a small knowing smirk and you furrow your brows because why is he looking at you like that?

And Choso can’t stop stuttering around you and being flustered. He’s very clumsy and apologizes when he “accidentally” touches your hand when you both reach for something in the fridge but then he asks if you would rather go get dinner at a restaurant

You agree and instead of staying at a restaurant Choso gets take out and walks with you to a park where a picnic blanket is set up with tiny battery-lit candles (because he doesn’t trust the wind)

He awkwardly runs off to a tree and steps behind it to grab a pot with your favorite plant/flower inside. The pot is a simple ceramic but it’s clearly been painted and it’s a sloppy picture of the two of you with a heart in the middle

Your smile is brighter than the moon as you take it and tell him it’s perfect and you love it. He blurts out that he’s in love with you and you giggle, saying that he should at least take you out on another date before deciding that he’s in love, but when his expression drops you immediately tell him you’re just teasing

He asks if you like him as well and you laugh, making him self conscious again, to which you quickly cover by saying “well duh I like you!” His cute and awkward smile bursts onto his face and you giggle while leaning over and kissing his cheek

Yuji and Megumi are hiding in some of the other trees and Yuji is taking pictures of you and Choso while Megumi struggles to hold him from falling. He debates dropping Yuji but decides he might get dumped if he does, and despite finding him absolutely annoying, he’s fallen for Yuji (not literally, he’s got good balance)

But eventually Megumi’s grip gets weak and he does end up dropping Yuji, but he soon follows after as a big gust of wind knocks him off of the branch. You and Choso look over and both run to the boys, only to find Yuji laughing as Megumi’s hair is covered with leaves and sticks. Choso makes sure Yuji is okay while you pluck the twigs from Megumi’s hair. You scold them and ask them what they were doing, only for Yuji to show you the pictures

You look at Choso with a smirk and ask if he knew they would be here, and he sheepishly scratches his neck and admits that yes, he asked them to help him with taking you out on a date. You just grin and wrap your arms around him in a hug, burying your face in his chest which makes his cheeks turn beet red. He smiles again and reciprocates the hug before you pull back and give him a proper kiss.

He’s stunned, gooped, and gagged. He’s frozen in place. He had his first kiss with the most amazing person to ever exist, and now he gets to take you home and hopefully make it under the sheets when cuddling this time, because he nearly froze the other night with your massive industrial sized fan blowing

You live happily ever after, unless Satoru and Suguru are around being the chaotic husbands that they are. At least Megumi can keep Yuji calm (most of the time, except for when Nobara is around)

[somber-sapphic]

No Rest For The Foolhardy

You manage to hide your sickness for days, but of course it's hard to hide how you feel from a Sokovian Witch. (wanda x reader)

Word Count: 2114

DAY 1- It Begins

“Y/n, we’re going to be late!” Wanda called, poking her head into the bathroom where you were painstakingly trying to apply your makeup without getting eyeliner all over your face. It was hard to do with violently shaking hands in blurred vision. 

You looked over at the brunette, a smile forming on your badly chapped lips. Even when you were feeling like absolute crap, it was impossible to deny just how beautiful she was. You fell more and more in love with her every day. 

“You okay? You look a little rough there babe.” She frowned, taking a slow step into the bathroom. A spike of fear ran through your body and you slammed the eyeliner down, making your smile even bigger.

“I’m fine, I just didn’t sleep very well.” You reassured, walking over to press a little kiss against her forehead. She looked like she’d been expecting a kiss on the lips, but you didn’t dare risk that. You didn’t want her to get whatever nasty virus had crawled into your body and taken up residence in your respiratory system. 

“Are you sure? Your cheeks are flushed, are you getting a bug?” Wanda pressed, her eyes boring into your soul as she tried to tell if you were lying. If she really wanted to she could’ve used her powers, but before the two of you even started dating she’d promised that she would never do that. 

“Don’t worry about me love, we’ve got a meeting to get to.”

DAY 2- A Losing Battle

Why couldn't the city be attacked at a normal hour? 3 am was far too early to be getting out of your nice cozy bed to put on an uncomfortable uniform and race out of the tower to fight some sort of goop throwing alien. It didn’t speak any English, or any language that any of them knew so there wasn’t any reasoning. Just fighting. 

Your body was sluggish as you threw your poison coated knives, only about half connecting with their target. Missing so much was embarrassing, especially when you were aiming for something so big. Wanda kept giving you looks but you were too busy focusing on not passing out to respond over the comms. 

“Y/n, what the hell are you doing? You’re trying to hit it, not me!” Natasha’s voice crackled over the comms, sounding equally frustrated and worried. They were all worried about you, it wasn’t just your girlfriend who had noticed your odd behavior. 

You didn’t respond, just unleashed another knife, this time hitting the thing square in the eye. Impressive for a person with a fever and a cough that rattled your lungs every few seconds and made you gag with the force. 

The battle only lasted about three hours, but when you all went back for debriefing your legs felt like jello and you were pretty sure that you could fall asleep standing up. You collapsed into a chair and put your head on your fist, blinking over at Tony as he yelled about something you had done wrong. It was obvious that you didn’t do very well today, but the thing was dead and no one had gotten hurt. 

“Tony, give me a break. It’s over.” You grumbled. Your head was pounding and his frustrated yelling and stomping around the room was only making it worse. Wanda reached over and rubbed your knee, assuming that you just had a migraine. You’d taken enough medicine to deal with the fever and congestion for a few more hours, so really it just looked like a bad headache. 

“You nearly killed Romanoff!” He snapped back, glaring at you with piercing eyes. 

“Almost being the key word. Lay off Y/n Stark, she looks exhausted.” Natasha replied, coming to your defense. You raised your eyebrows, slightly surprised. It wasn’t that you and Natasha didn’t get along, she was Wanda’s best friend after all, but there had been issues between you from the start. You two often butted heads. 

“Really? Whatever, I’m going to the lab. You’re all dismissed. Take a nap Y/n, you clearly need it.” That last backhanded insult nearly made you cry. You were angry with yourself for being so awful during the fight and you just didn’t feel well. 

Natasha leaned across the table and took one of your hands in her calloused one, squeezing it gently. 

“Don’t pay attention to him kiddo. He’s cranky because he didn’t kill the thing.” That nickname had sparked one of your first fights. You were only a year younger than Wanda who had been called ‘little witch’ since her arrival but that didn’t bother her considering that she was only a teenager when she’d joined the Avengers. 

“Thanks Tasha…” You mumbled, a little embarrassed by her attention. Wanda chuckled softly, inwardly pleased by the bond growing between you two. Her best friend and her girlfriend, finally getting along. 

“Come on my dear, I know you’ve been wanting to watch that new horror movie.” Wanda smiled, pulling you up out of your seat. A wave of stars danced in your vision but you brushed it off, blinking rapidly to clear them from your vision. A horror movie might actually make you feel better.

DAY 3- Game Night

Game night with movies. A simple, fun night for team bonding and a chance to relax with friends. They all enjoyed it, happy that they could forget about their dangerous jobs and act like normal people. 

“Y/n! Twos, do you have any twos!?” Clint demanded, leaning forward as if to interrogate you. Right, Go-Fish. You were supposed to be playing Go-Fish. Of course, it wasn’t normal Go-Fish. There was alcohol involved. Whenever someone was sent fishing they had to take a shot. You were pretty sure if you drank any you’d lose all of the weak control you had over your illness. 

You silently handed over the two that you had been cradling against your chest, clutched close to your aching lungs. The bird man let out a whoop and slapped his final four cards onto the floor, all twos.

“It’s Go-Fish dude, you didn’t win the olympics.” Rhody grumbled, pouting slightly. You cracked a little smile while Natasha smirked and Wanda chuckled. They all got so worked up over these stupid games, it was typically wildly entertaining for everyone. 

You leaned back against the couch, nestling your head against Wanda’s shoulder. Cuddled close against her you were having even more trouble staying awake, but everything changed when a harsh coughing fit wracked your admittedly weak body. 

“Are you okay sweetheart?” The brunette asked gently, sitting you up in her lap to ease your coughing. She rubbed your back as the fit subsided, her expression contorted in pure concern. Her beautiful caramel eyes were full of love, the laugh lines evident even through her worry. 

“I’m fine. Inhaled a bug I think.” You grimaced, sticking out your tongue in mock disgust. Her face pulled into one of disbelief and then she laughed, leaning over to kiss you. You cut the kiss short, turning your head to the side so her lips brushed your cheek. 

“That's some shit luck Y/n. Who wants to play Monopoly? I’m going to destroy you.” Natasha challenged, a wicked grin spreading across her face. 

True to her word, the assassin beat them all in a half hour, much to everyone's joy. She was the only one who actually liked the damn game and she only enjoyed it because she always won. She was a brutal opponent. 

“I’m done playing. Watching you guys lose is more fun than playing.” You smiled, cuddling back against your girlfriend. She wrapped her in your arms and kissed your hair, cradling you close while you drifted to sleep. 

DAY 4- And So It Ends

Baking. Why did she want to make cookies? You weren’t sure, but you obliged her. She had woken you up all excited about the new recipe she found, nearly bouncing up and down in utter joy. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that your body was on fire and your bones ached. You didn’t have the heart to admit to the cotton stuffed in your head as your illness took full effect. You were miserable. But she was happy. That's all that mattered.

“Baby, I need the sprinkles. Can you grab them?” She asked, stirring the dough with a quizzical eye. She was an excellent baker, always taking extra time to make sure that everything was done correctly. 

“Sprinkles? In the cookies?” You asked skeptically, frowning at her. It seemed to you that the colors would just bleed into the dough, leaving the two of you wish brownish, gross tasting cookies. The brunette looked back at you, her eyes glittering with amusement. 

“Yes dear, sprinkles. Do you dare question the wisdom of the recipe?” She joked, smiling at you. You shrugged, and stared at the cabinet, far too high above you to reach without climbing on something. 

You sighed and managed to drag a chair over, your whole body ready to give in to utter exhaustion. You knew you’d made a mistake when you took your first step onto the chair. With a shaky breath, you hoisted yourself up, wishing that Wanda had given you a lecture of the danger of climbing on chairs. 

Blood rushed to your head and you grabbed onto the cabinet doors, hoping to stabilize yourself. If you could just regain your balance it would all be fine. You would be fine. 

You repeated that mantra as your vision blurred and you felt yourself falling backwards, stars taking over your vision. As you tumbled to the floor you could hear Wanda yelling your name and felt the warm tingle of her magic envelope you. Sure that you couldn’t crack your head open on the floor, you let yourself succumb to the darkness. 

DAY 4- Part 2

When you came to you were laying in your large, soft bed, something cool and damp resting on your forehead. You whined softly and tried to sit up, a wave of panic racing through you. You were supposed to be baking cookies with Wanda, not sleeping. 

Arms wrapped around you and you found yourself pinned against the woman’s chest, listening to her rapid heartbeat. Wanda kissed your hair and rubbed your back, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. The two of you stayed like that for what felt like forever, you confused, but comfortable in your girlfriend's arms. 

“You scared the shit out of me!” She finally said, cupping your cheeks in incredibly soft hands. Her hair which had been so expertly done was sticking out of its intricate braid in pieces. She was wearing PJ’s now and her face had been wiped clean of makeup. Nevertheless, she was still beautiful.

“Why didn't you tell me you were sick?” She demanded, pulling back to cross her arms over her chest. The look on her face was angry. She was angry with you. You’d done everything you possibly could to make her happy, but you failed her. 

Tears filled your eyes and you felt your lower lip begin to tremble as you began to cry, unable to stop the cascade of your emotions. With the stress of hiding your sickness for the last few days and just how horrible you felt, you couldn’t handle her being mad at you. 

“Oh Y/n, sweetie, it’s alright. I’m sorry, you just scared me, that's all. You passed out and your fever was 105, Bruce had you on IV fluids for an hour. Honey, you can't do that, you need to take care of yourself, I need you to take care of yourself.” She soothed, wiping the tears off of your cheeks. 

You tried to stop crying, but you just couldn’t. The dam had broken and there wouldn’t be any fixing it. 

“My sweetheart, it’s all going to be okay.” Wanda murmured, crawling into bed with you. She wrapped her arms around your waist and you tucked your head against her chest, sobbing quietly into her shirt. 

“It’s all going to be okay. Just close your eyes baby, I’m not mad. It’s okay.” She promised, holding you close as you cried out all of your misery. Your throat hurt from all of the tears and you were sure that you’d gotten snot on her shirt, but she didn’t care. She didn’t pull away, just held you and ran her fingers through your hair while your sobs turned to ragged breaths, which in turn changed to soft, even, sleepy snores. 

“Sleep well my love. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

[mutsky]

4 minutes finale

-is he working at a fancier hospital for his fanfic?

-... wow ok he even getd his face on campaigns...

-if i didn't care for tyme before his fanfic is making me dislike him

-why would he need to lift his shirt its not like its covering anything anyway

-11:03 hes fucked

-oh hes in an uncomplicated romance where their parents arent evil people

-at least i dont have to hear the guitar

-nepo baby cat

-no one does product placement like boc

-underwater kiss??? ok percy jackson

-do you know you only have 30 minutes???

-thanks den for telling him!

-den is the only smart and well adjusted guy here

-wait thats how he dies in his fic not in real life

-not you

-she really dgaf about great

-i dont think shes as easily gaslit korn

-hes gagged and gooped

-i can barely see shit

-awwww they love each other in their own fucked up way

-kissing the man who killed your idiot brother is crazy

-im sorry in no world are these men even close to the same age the 9 year gap shows

-theyre cute together tho this is how we repair fuaiz (not happening bc boc hates me)

-he forgot he was an easy fuck :/

-ohhhh he doesnt know

-NOOOOO MY MURDER TWINK

-acab fr

-NO

-what ??? whats going on

-my goodness does anyone survive this show

-this is so shakespearean

-this is pissing me off the wrong people died

-good for dr den shes cute

-im still pissed dont wanna finish anymore :/

-it was an art exhibit... lame explanation

-ok whos the lady shes hot

-great is a terrible person!

-oh they made him get a normal job they heard me bitch

-the way this show couldve ended without the parents storyline bc idc

-is this the tongrak recorder pen???

-oh this guy he deserved to die i guess but this scene is dragging

-or oh hes gonna save him

-is he turning himself in?

-also why is jjay so tall

-really feel nothing about greattyme and dont care what happens to them

-omega? oh im sure

-now what .. oh that was dramatic for nothing

-dont fucking remind me were never getting biblejeff istg

9/10 show it sorta had 20+ minutes of dead time here at the end but i was on the edge of my seat and very engaged the entire time it was well done but they managed to make me not care about the main couple which isnt supposed to happen in a bl you cant let some twink steal the show!!!

[jennyyy007]

RAT 💉 pt. 2

Lovely Lady

Cw: lab whump, male whumpee, male whumper, multiple whumpers, multiple whumpees, female caretaker, experiments, violence, cruel whumper, defiant whumpee, obedient whumpee, captivity

———————————————————————

Fuck his head hurts… Oliver shifts uncomfortably in his bed before he opens his eyes.

He’s in his cell again… and… great.

He sits up, groaning a little as his back hurts from sleeping on the cold floor.

They took his bed privileges away…

Not like it makes a good difference anyways. The bed is basically just a small iron frame that has a small air mattress on top. No blanket and only a small… again, air filled pillow with the thought of feathers.

There’s a small table in the corner with a single chair. On top of that table is… hard to tell… something that you would only imagine a clogged drain would smell like.

Oliver gets up from the floor, taking slow steps over to his little desk, trying to ignore the two guards standing outside his cell, watching every move the guy is making.

He sits down and observes the still compact “food” in front of him. Even after being knocked out for almost six hours, the food stayed exactly the same.. ugh..

The boy raises his arms up, observing his new arm for a bit. It really is the exact same.. there’s not even a scar where they cut it just grew back entirely. It looks a bit odd. His left arm completely covered in scars. And his right arm healed entirely.

They didn’t give him cutlery so he just uses his rather dirty hands to start eating.

The boy almost gags when he shoves the disgusting goop down his throat.

He can’t. He can’t eat this again.

“I want something else.”

He demands as he gets up from his chair and walks over to hold the plate through the little window where he usually gets his food through.

“Sure why don’t we give you some filet mignon with blue cheese mashed potatoes”

The man tells him mockingly, rolling his eyes a little before taking the plate and dumping the nutriloaf in a nearby trashcan.

Oliver just rolls his eyes before he sits back down in the corner where his bed used to be. Leaning his head against the wall.

“Alright I’ll go home shift is over”

One of the guards says, checking his watch before the other one nods at him.

“See ya tomorrow then.”

He says in a rather tired tone of voice, obviously not very fond of needing to do night shift.

Oliver doesn’t care. He just decides to lay down on the floor and rest his eyes for a bit. The headaches after getting emergency knocked out are the worst. They last for hours…

—————————————————————

“Hey… hey buddy…”

Oliver quickly opens his eyes, feeling a little startled. He must have fallen asleep again. Oh…

“Hey nurse Dawn…”

Oliver smiles a bit as he sees the woman crouched down in front of his cell. Nurse dawn is so sweet.. she’s basically his caregiver. Taking him for showers, giving him small toys to play with sometimes. And even…

“I got something for you”

She says in her usual gentle tone, knowing how frightened most experiments are.

The lady reaches into her coats pocket before pulling out a small sandwich, wrapping in plastic foil before sliding it through the window.

Oliver smiles at her before quickly taking the sandwich, unwrapping it before starting to eat it. He knows Dawn isn’t allowed to provide him with most things but she still does… and that makes her very dear to him.

The lady is in her early thirties. She’s sweet and caring and has the most beautiful long brown hair. She reminds him of his mama… when he says he would kill all of them he definitely doesn’t mean nurse Dawn.

“Thank you nurse Dawn”

Oliver says quietly between chews. He can see the guard having fallen asleep on the chair behind the woman.

“You’re welcome sweetheart.”

She says, taking the wrapper back from the bot and stuffing it in her pocket.

Oliver can’t really die of starvation but he will still loose a lot of weight and feel the pain in his stomach.

“I’ll get you more tomorrow okay? Do you want ham or cream cheese? Or both?”

She says smiling softly as she gets up again.

“Both please!”

Oliver says as she smiles back at the lady and she makes a quick nod.

“Noted”

She whispers before taking a step back, trying her best to cheer up the boy even tho she could cry every time she sees those experiments patients. The job pays very well. Way better than for nurses at a hospital… and now that she took the job she can’t go back. The government needs to hide the anomalies from society. They can’t have people know that there’s monsters among us.

“I’ll have to go now okay? But I’ll see you tomorrow for bath time”

She smiles before waving at the boy and he waves back, giggling a little. Watching after the lady.

Yeah… he definitely wouldn’t kill her

———————————————————————

Nurse Dawns picrew

@a-living-canvas @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees

[calico-heart]

Please tell us about the trail mix raisins

PFFT this is maybe less amusing to hear about than experience but here goes:

So the most common trail mix you could buy at a corner store or wherever was made of like. Crackers. Nuts. Earthy things that make sense to eat together. Sometimes also M&Ms which - look the chocolate is kind of an earthy bitter-ish flavor too. They're all crunchy. It works.

But then they also added RAISINS. And I'm not a raisin hater ok. I like raisins by themselves! But they have a distinct Flavor and I do not like squishy sweet raisin next to a salty dry peanut and an almond and the bland crunchy waffle cracker. The texture is Bad. The flavor combination is Bad.

This was a Healthy Snack frequently afflicted on the children of my youth, including me. Raisin cookies were becoming an endangered species so they had to find some other way to adapt, I guess.

Trail Mix was enrichment because you had to pick all the raisins out before you could eat your snack. Half of snack time was dedicated to pulling the fucking raisins out of your bag of trail mix so you could eventually shove a hand in and eat a mouthful of goodness instead of being violently gagged by the goop of disgustingness.

Inevitably you missed a raisin and just when you thought you were safe felt the squelch between your teeth and the sudden rush of intense regret. It was traumatic. It was a formative memory. It was a shared suffering we all endured.

So yeah Trail Mix is great if you leave out the raisins but the raisins are always there. Waiting. You couldn't have Trail Mix without raisins.

It's a great metaphor for people that way because people are generally great but you're definitely going to find a raisin in them now and then no matter what, sorry.

[cinamun]

The power in this picture…and there aren’t even any words! It’s absolutely chilling. Hopefully El has ascended and doesn’t start visiting Jay next because you can tell that boy is haunted already. Spooked, gooped, and gagged are the only words I can think of. It’s the cockiness of the Elliot portrait that really ties it all together like “yup in the end I still have her my guy”. It sucks because Jay is honestly probably feeling so alone and isolated and rejected right now and doesn’t even realize it because of how much of himself he’s pouring into Hope’s recovery. He probably misses her smile and her laugh and her touch and all he gets are the tears and picking up the pieces and then constantly hears all this, in his eyes, praise and love and affection for a guy that almost killed her. I know that must be so hard on him.

Whenever situations like these arise, I don’t think there’s ever enough emphasis and focus on just how much damage it really creates for everyone that is left behind. It trickles to people you wouldn’t even expect to be affected. You’re doing an absolutely phenomenal job with showing this side of things and I seriously applaud you because I can’t even imagine how taxing and hard it must be to put yourself in that mental space to plan these scenes and write the dialog everyday. It’s hard enough reading it so I truly can’t imagine how you feel. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, Cin. And take breaks when you need them. You’re doing an amazing job with this arc!

COME ON SHY!!! The analysis after these scenes are literally my favorite part. Sis....

The way you broke down this picture is exactly what I was hoping to portray here. I took this at like 12 different angles but only the 2 in the update gave what I needed them to give.

I just don't think Jay is ok right now and y'all have done an incredible job breaking down why.

[ziggystqrdust]

i had a dream about you // alucinatio by alexmeg

“He stares at the ceiling, blinking blankly every now and then, until his eyes close and he falls asleep.”

hey so what the fuck

bonus

caption translation: “you’re an angst enjoyer”

video translation: “that feeling like where it hurts so much but it feels good, you know that feeling when “aww im so sad cuz they didnt end up together😞” but its also satisfying in a way that they didnt end up together😁”

[yesterdayiwrote]

In response to that post about who the drivers would vote for I saw that TikTok and they said George would vote trump purely because he gives off massive tory vibes. Think that tells you everything aha

Lol, quelle surprise! What new and innovative hot take will they come up with next?! The searing and incisive political commentary has left me gagged and gooped!

[ninjadeathblade]

Moulin Rouge Discotrain AU (part twenty nine)

Summary: (Post-game canon) The Conductor and DJ Grooves agree to finally work on a movie together. They come up with 'Moulin Rouge', a musical drama filled with romance. Over time the two directors grow closer and discover that maybe they don't hate each other as much.

Beginning | Previous | Next

Word count: 1,471

Warnings: Blood, being sick, Snatcher has trauma

Author's notes: Another Snatcher and Empress chapter! I love them, they're such good friends. Plus I missed Snatcher so he gets to be back. Dude got traumatised and I will explain more about that in the spinoff I'll write for him. Anyway, enjoy!

Snatcher gagged, retching into a plant pot.

Bubbling, black ooze burnt away at the greenery as Snatcher leant against the hallway wall.

He matched the darkness he supposed, even with blood smeared across his slight frame.

The yellow bird that ran past him didn't even notice him.

Snatcher watched the owl go.

“I thought everyone was meant to be filming,” Snatcher murmured, forcing himself forward.

He snapped his fingers, the doors in front of him opening.

"Kid, what's going on?” Snatcher asked the nearest owl.

“Mr. Snatcher! You're- you're back! I'm sorry, Mr. Grooves and Mr. Conductor are out right now,” Owlice greeted him.

“Anyone else with authority?” Snatcher questioned, hand moving to his side as something felt like it was freezing there.

The ghost let out a low string of curses as he gestured at it, a few sparks of magic curling towards the patch before disintegrating.

“You look like even more of a mess than Conductor did.”

Snatcher looked up at Empress, a sharp comeback on the edge of his tongue.

He bent over again, regurgitating another bubbling pile of ooze.

"Ugh, maybe that wasn't a sharp comeback on the edge of my tongue,” Snatcher said, kicking some of it under a nearby set of seats. “I'm not cleaning that up.”

“You're a wreck right now, what happened?” Empress asked, walking over and slinging one of his arms around her shoulders.

“Vanessa. Vanessa happened,” Snatcher grumbled, sagging more of his weight against the cat.

“Scram, bird. Tell everyone to go home and come back after the weekend,” Empress instructed.

Owlice nodded and walked away.

“Aren't you guys meant to be filming?” Snatcher questioned.

“Technically yes. But there's a possible development between the two idiots in love who run this place, so I'm sure no one minds us taking a little time off,” Empress explained.

“You mean they're finally-” Snatcher broke off in a fit of coughs.

“Chill it or I will knock you out. I can't have you spewing creepy nightmare goop everywhere,” Empress replied.

“Sorry,” Snatcher wheezed.

"Now. I'm going to take you back to my place in the metro. And we are going to stay there until you feel well again,” Empress explained. “Got that?”

“Okay.”

“And you're not going to complain about it,” Empress instructed. “And I will kick you out if you throw up on my furniture.”

“Sure.”

Snatcher blinked, looking around the room.

“Good. You're awake.”

He looked over at Empress, scrolling on her phone.

The cat was slouched across an armchair, legs hanging over one arm with her back propped against the other.

“Where am I?” Snatcher asked, memory hazy.

“My place in the metro. I told you I was taking you there,” Empress replied, gaze flicking over to him. “You're really sick, aren't you?”

Snatcher nodded meekly.

“You're not going to get much better, are you?” Empress gently prompted, putting her phone down in her lap.

“I don't know what she did. But I feel so weak. I haven't eaten in so long,” Snatcher cried, a couple amber coloured drops hitting his body. “I’m so cold. I've always been cold because of how I died but this is different. I can't feel heat from anything anymore.”

Empress' tail thrashed slightly, hitting the floor.

“What do you need to eat?”

“Souls. I'm out of them though, I depleted my sources when I-”

Visions flashed through his mind of his fight with Vanessa.

He pushed them away, trying to block them out.

“Anyway, I can't start healing without souls. And I used up the last of my power getting to the studio,” Snatcher finished defeatedly.

Empress crossed the room and leaned over him, something akin to worry staining her features.

"Listen here!” Empress growled. “I'm going to go find some sad nobodies who are willing to trade their souls in. And you're going to take those souls and get better. Got that?”

Snatcher nodded again as she stood back up.

He knew she was trying to be caring but she had a weird way of showing it.

“Can't believe I have to babysit everyone. I had to beat some sense into Conductor and now I have to stop you from dying.”

“Actually-”

“Oh shut up,” Empress interrupted, ears bent back over her head as her tail whipped back and forth.

Empress watched wide-eyed as Snatcher healed his wounds.

Her pupils were bloated as she stared at the sparkling magic.

“Thank you. For what you did,” Snatcher whispered, biting back a whimper of pain as another cold shock went through his side.

Empress blinked, seemingly snapping out of her stupor.

“It's fine. You would do the same for me.” She shrugged, moving Snatcher's legs out the way to sit beside him on the sofa.

He lay his legs back on top of her lap as she scrolled on her phone.

“We could make a contract, you know. I could get the cops off of your back,” Snatcher suggested.

His friendship with Empress felt like all he had left sometimes.

He didn't want to lose her due to something stupid, like her committing crimes.

“Eventually, yes.” The corner of her mouth twitched into a smile. “That would be nice.”

Snatcher took a break from weaving magic into his wounds, staring at the cat.

There was something about her that screamed fake. Like she wasn't as mean as she made herself out to be, or that she was kind of sick of everything.

“You know, you're not as scary as you think you are,” Snatcher said, resting his head against the plush pillows on the back of the sofa.

Empress' tail twitched and she quickly scratched behind her ear.

“I'm the most notorious criminal in the world. My name strikes fear into people - the police wouldn't dare try and shut me down for good,” Empress replied coldly.

“Not after the movie comes out it won't,” Snatcher reminded.

Empress took a deep breath, casting him a tired look.

“What are you trying to get out of this?” She sighed.

"What were you like as kid? I mean, what did you even do before the metro was built?” Snatcher questioned.

“The metro has always existed, even if it wasn't a metro at the time. I made my money through dirty work, same as I do now. The only differences were my looks and my name,” Empress started.

“Emily was an idealistic idiot. She thought that if she tried hard enough, things would change. But they never have, and never will. The metro will always be an area of power struggle.”

Empress stared off into the distance, eyes absent.

“Emily had friends. Emily was never going to be a leader with connections like that. Emily had to cut herself off, especially when things started going badly,” the cat spat. “Emily was a fool and a weakling. Emily still misses her friends.”

“But Empress…”

Her claws dug into the fabric of her coat, ripping the red, velvety pattern.

“Heh, Empress honed her skills. Empress is a master of deception and sleight of hand. Empress was not afraid to take what should rightfully be hers. She fought her way up from the bottom and she'll be damned if she doesn't stay at the top!”

Snatcher reached over and gently pulled her claws out of her coat.

"You know, I don't actually remember my name,” he said quietly. “I remember Vanessa's. I remember I was a prince and I was studying law to become a lawyer. I remember the incident that led to my death. I remember what it was like before, when we were still in love.”

Empress looked over at him, fur standing on end, pupils narrowed.

“But there's not much aside from that. Guess that was part of the curse. But I don't really care to remember. I like the life I lead as ‘The Snatcher’.” He laughed bitterly. “I don't think what happened before really matters though. Sure, I miss whatever it might have been. But at the same time, I've got so much more power. So who cares about before! What we have now is better.”

Empress retracted her claws.

“I didn't realise you were one for making big speeches,” Empress teased.

“Yeah, well, I had to learn that when-” the ghost paused as something in his stomach rolled.

“Not good.”

Empress dashed across the room, wrenching a window open.

“Not in my home!” She screeched.

Snatcher rushed over to the window, recoiling slightly at the icy jab of pain that crept through him as he threw up again.

"I'm calling Grooves. I'll take time off til you feel well again,” Empress sighed, patting him on the back.

“Thanks,” Snatcher croaked, another violent shiver going through him.

“I'll pick you up a hoodie when I buy myself dinner this evening.”

“You're a good friend.”

"Yeah, whatever.”

[sinistersinister]

dragula finale liveblog, under the cut. i'll just make one post and type in it as i watch.

warning: spoilers ahead

first thought: a lip-synch? may the best monster win? this is just goth rupaul i guess.

second thought: the boulets are gorgeousssssss i LOVE their headpieces. anna-varney CUNTodea more like

skipping most of the confessionals. i want to be surprised. but i did catch nio's and it's like hoso's, part 2, but it's an important message and it still feels fresh.

love throb's filth idea.

ork remains colombian tommy wiseau. "my filth look is inspired by this... fucking GROSS slug... i found one time in a bathroom."

ork is such a sweetheart. i do not get why the fandom on reddit seems to hate him. i think it's probably classism and maybe a bit of racism. he's like what jay kay said they were-- up-front and honest and 'telling it like it is.' unlike jay kay, ork can actually dish it out AND take it, it seems like. (i do not dislike jay kay, but the way they were portrayed on the show made it seem like they were immature but not in the fun way. i do love a shit-stirrer but i like someone who's more incisive and self-aware about it.)

throb is very sincere and a bit socially inept. which i find charming.

i would have loved to see more of blackberri beyond 'nicey cutie with a beard.' like that weird tangent a few episodes ago about the christian traveling puppet show. like what? hello??? that was FASCINATING? she spent too much time being the producers' friend and not enough time being blackberri. imo.

at this point (~20 minutes in) i think nio's taking the crown.

FILTH TIME!

first thought: ork needs more goop for his slug to be gross. it's just cute, not filthy.

second thought: oh. oh THERE'S the slime. i am literally gagging so that's a good indication this was a 'successful' look. not the first time i've seen that pose from ork tho. nonetheless i would have liked more slime. it's a 'fucking GROSS slug,' so i want slimes and goops!

first thought: blackberri doing some christian puppetry callbacks with that suit. i think that's a good idea. playing to her strengths. it's kind of cute and menacing in an '80s mascot costume that was left in a warehouse and is now mildewed and spooky' way.

second thought: insufficiently filthy. ohhh you ate a raw fish. and? and? put more gross trash in your mouth! nose fell off too!

first thought: throb is also not sufficiently gross. but i love the lewk.

second thought: nvm i am again litcherally gagging. i have a thing about bubbly fluids and i was never more glad for 'switching tabs and looking away.'

fist thought: NIO OH GROSSSSSSSSSS. nio proving that the filthiest thing......is racism U___U. also slopping around in rotting food. that is also very nasty.

second thought: idk there was more potential for nio being gross. she came out so strong and i was underwhelmed by how gross she didn't get. make soy sauce come out of the pig foot strap on!!!!

winner: throb. i think a filth look is successful if it makes me feel sick.

post-show: oh, i didn't know ork was trying to literally puke. it would have been SO good if it had worked. next time put some ipecac on that tail, ork!

HORROR TIME

woah ork has great taste in obscure scary movies!!!! blackberri has a great taste in classic horror movies!!!! the girlies have done the reading!

nio: this could have been a glamour look. giving TITTYcut follies. i think the bodysuit was underwhelming though. same with the hairography.

blackberri: LOVE the idea and i think the execution is 80% there. the glittery blood is SO good. i just wish the skin looked more like skin and less like a trash bag? also lol at the silly little heels.

ork: jesus christ

throb: eh, whatever. why the pregnancy? i liked how unwholesome and distended the belly looked. maybe they could have leaned into that more?

winner: ork. i mean. come on. runner-up: blackberri based on concept alone.

GLAMOUR

oooh i just noticed the boulets' glove nails. we looooove

nio: best face, absolutely the most glamorous face. the bodysuit is good but i think it needs more rhinestones, or encrusted jewels from the sea, or something.

blackberri: nice but not especially glamorous? idk. i need more. and i haaaaated the necklace. it felt so out of place and like something i could get on aliexpress for 10 bux (and not in the ork "make something that cost next to nothing into art" way).

ork: i don't think it's uhhhh glamorous in the conventional way. i like it but i don't get 'glamour' from it. i think the number one ork critique (he can only do one thing) applies here.

throb: lmao this IS goth rupaul. complete with rose petal reveal. weird chest piece too. but unarguably glamorous. face was so good. also, they had the best performance. you can tell they were a burlesque performer. also, their gags finally worked :3 yaaaaay!

the music reminds me of the birthday massacre. nostalgic, to me.

winner: tie between nio and throb. this glamour section was probably the weakest of the three sections.

alright. all the sections are over.

based solely on the floor show i stand by my original assessment that it's nio's show to lose. throb (not memorable but quite good at what they do) and ork (one-trick pony, but that pony can fuckin PERFORM) tied for second. blackberri should not have made it this far. i do not think there should have been a top 4.

judging panel boulets again steal the show. i adore the wigs with the spiky sparkly gelled (?) points, and the luxurious big fluffy (feathery?) collars.

why tf are they hyping blackberri so much? what kind of dirt does she have on them? did something get lost in translation? is it something you have to see in real life and you're missing something otherwise?

aw at the boulets being nice to nio.

love the final lewks. my favorite is ork's because it's a callback to the dbz-looking thing he had for the blacklight challenge. nio's underwhelms me but it's a smart choice for if you're dunked in blood. the makeup is killer. throb's is ehhhh. blackberry's is quite glamorous and put together but insufficiently goth/weird for me. i do like the face pearls though!

YAAAAAAAAAY I WAS RIGHT NIO WON. and ork clapping his flippers in delight again :3

anyway. good season i guess. i hope jarvis is in a mental space where he's good to compete again for titans. and i hope there's nothing terrible that happened between nio and ork.

[draculas-curse]

"How nasty," Alucard murmured, and tugged his coat closer around his chest. The black raiment fluttered in the wind, hammered by rain that ran down it in shining rivulets, pelting the face of the man wearing it and soaking his hair remorselessly. It was almost as if he didn't notice, Yoko thought. He seemed a lot more invested in the way the sky was completely overcast by clouds. It was an expanse of nothing but grey, the sunlight comfortably blotted out in spite of howling winds and a downpour that all but promised a bout of hail was about to follow. Of course, he must have been glad for it -- the sun wasn't good for someone like him, no matter if Alucard could walk around in it or not.

Yoko looked down at the mass near his shoes, and couldn't help but gag. "Oh, that's disgusting," she said, stepping closer anyway and kicking it with her foot. Her boots were white, and the gunk was going to stain them, but that'd happen no matter what she did, so there wasn't actually much harm in dirtying them up early.

A huge pile of unspeakable, reddish sludge was congealing on the pavement in front of them both. It was some horrible, melted amalgam of flesh and guts and blood that had undoubtedly used to be... something, at least, but now whatever it had once been was rendered completely unrecognisable. Yoko couldn't help but notice that aside from its foul appearance, the wet, meaty blob was absolutely rancid. She tugged her capelet over her nose in an attempt to banish the stench, but it hardly did a thing. She couldn't imagine how overpowering it must have been for Alucard and his enhanced senses.

Then again, she considered, this was probably the kind of smell he enjoyed the most.

Alucard shook his head and sighed, heavy, and the sound snapped her out of her thoughts. Something about it sounded wanting. Thinking about the last time she'd offered him a drink, weeks ago, when he'd argued so profusely that she felt bad just for bringing it up, she couldn't bring herself to sympathise. "What do you think of it?" He asked her, glancing in her direction. His eyes were stormy, more black than grey, a perfect match for the dour weather. It had been years, but she still wasn't used to it. Yoko pulled a face on principle, but she wasn't actually squeamish enough for the sight in front of her to be honestly vomit-inducing.

"It looks... well, it might have been human once." Her voice came out uncertain. "Or maybe not. Some kind of monster guts?" She didn't know any that had organs made of entrail jelly and gelatinous goop, but that could just be inexperience talking. "Can you smell anything that I can't?"

"No. Usually, yes, but..." Alucard looked over his nose at the sodden lump. "Whatever it is, I can't get a hint. All I can tell you is that it's meat."

They didn't need their noses to tell them that, but the pungent stench definitely made its point clear. Yoko sighed. The rain was just making it wetter. Gross. "Do you have an umbrella?" She asked hopefully, less for the dripping hunk of innard slime and more in the interests of defending her nice capelet and freshly washed hair. Arikado shook his head. She sighed again. "You really should have brought one," the witch lamented. "You can fit anything in those pockets you have."

"I'll have one next time," Alucard told her, probably because he was having the same problems. His coat was waterproof, but his suit definitely wasn't, and his hair was gluing itself to his skin with all the passion of a lover. She winced in commiseration. "For the time being, however--" his face was blank as ever, but Alucard sounded just as offput as she did, "--our best interest is to preserve some of... this... and bring it back to where it can be analysed."

"Is that really necessary? It's just... goo."

"It's not any type of goo I've seen before, and we have no idea of how it arrived here. That, and if we leave it as it is, the stench will surely attract vermin. I don't want to know what happens when this is consumed."

"That's fair," she said, and raised her hands, cupping one over the over to defend it from the rain. Heat leaked from between her fingers. "Can you get a sample?"

Alucard leaned down and, without further ado, tore a giant chunk right out. The gunk immediately reformed. It was so disturbing that it almost shattered Yoko's concentration on her spell. For his part, Alucard slipped the sopping wet meat chunk into a sanitised baggy.

The fiery storm that blasted from Yoko's palms proceeded to burn the mother molasses to ashes before the rain could put any of it out.

"I'll take this back to the agency," Alucard told her with a nod. She got the sense he just wanted to wash his hands as soon as possible. "I doubt you'll actually need to inform the Church, but if anything comes up, I'll tell you." He knew how much she hated being left in the dark. It made something warm pool in her chest.

"Thanks," Yoko said genuinely, pulling her hood tight over her head. The rain still battered mercilessly at them both. "You can't drive, can you?" Alucard shook his head. "I guess we have to walk through this to the train station, then..."

Sample of God-forsaken, probably cursed, possibly damned, could-be extraterrestrial fleshy jelly in hand, the two of them started booking it to the nearest cover from the incoming thunderstorm.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball GT 24

✨GT Stands for Giru-eating Trout✨

This is the one where Pan tries to pet a baby space-deer, and it sticks its nose up her shirt for no good reason.  The deer kind of pokes her in the butt a little later, but that’s easier to write off.  What the hell was this for?  Like, how did this happen?  They’re storyboarding this episode at Toei headquarters or whatever, and one guy is like “Say, I have an idea... Now hear me out...”

Let’s back up.  Last time, the GT crew found a fourth Dragon Ball on a derelict ship.  They also found a single survivor, and took him to a hospital on Planet Pital.  Oh, they named the planet after the last five letters in hospital.   I just got that.  Everybody just sort of chills out after they hear the boy will recover, but then there’s an explosion in his room, and Goku charges in to rescue the kid and a nurse who was in the room when it happened.

What caused the explosion?  Well, the boy is possessed by Baby, and this was all a scheme to get close to the GT gang.  But he used a little too much of his power at the end of the last episode, and he accidentally blew up some equipment in the room.  But since no one suspects anything, he figures he can still proceed with his plan. 

So what’s Baby’s plan this time? I mean, he’s had so many of them already, so it’s hard to keep them all straight.  Well, it seems like he’s abandoned all of his old plans, and now he just wants “Saiyan power”.  We’ve seen him enter people’s bodies and control them.  This boy is just the latest example.  Apparently this makes Baby stronger, and he seems to think parisitizing the bodies of Goku, Trunks, and Pan is the next step.

So what are the GT gang up to while all this is going on?  Jack shit, that’s what.  Goku’s hungry, but he refuses to eat in the hospital cafeteria because he’s afraid someone will poke him with a needle when he’s not looking.  According to Trunks, the hospital is the only place on the entire planet that even has a cafeteria.  Wait, did I misread that?  That can’t be right.

No, that’s exactly how Trunks puts it.  This is followed by a gag where Goku, Giru, and Trunks all go wading in a nearby stream to catch fish. Seriously?  Those are your choices?  If you’re hungry on Planet Pital, you either go to the hospital or you go fishing.  There’s no grocery stores?  No vending machines?  No agriculture?

Oh, also the fish are easy to catch, but they taste terrible.  So it’s literally the hospital or starvation on this planet. 

Anyway, that’s why Pan is out here getting sexually harassed by a deer.  I guess she didn’t want to go fishing.  While she’s away from the others, Baby approaches her, hoping to make her his next victim.  When her back is turned, he reaches out and...

Wh-what?  What is wrong with this kid’s hand?  I took a screenshot of this because I could not believe what I was seeing.   He’s supposed to be reaching out to grab Pan, but the fingers are pointed in the wrong direction, like he’s bringing his hand in towards us.  But the thumb is pointed like... argh this is driving me nuts. 

Before Baby can make his move, the doctor finds him and tells him he should be resting, and he escorts him back to the hospital.  So Baby waits until they’re alone and possesses the doctor instead. 

Goku’s still worried about eating in the cafeteria, and I just noticed that his anxiety about needles kind of rhymes with the threat of this episode.  Baby is literally lurking around this place, sneaking up on unsuspecting victims and “snoick!” injecting them with nasty goop, i.e. himself.  So as dumb as Goku sounds right now, he’s like the guy nobody listens to in a horror movie. 

This is really weird, because normally GT episodes are so thin on plot and weak on continuity that I never would have expected scenes like this to actually tie into anything else. 

Luckily for Goku’s tummy, the doctor (actually Baby) assures Goku that no one will stick him with a needle, and this convinces Goku to try the cafeteria, and it turns out he loves it.  They’ve got shrimp curry in there and everything.  Also, the doctor (actually Baby) invites Trunks on a tour of the hospital, because he mentioned being so interested in the advanced technology here.  He never actually said that, as far as I’m aware, but whatever. 

So he takes Trunks to look at... some machine, and lets Trunks play with the buttons and dials.  Trunks is like “Oh, cool!  This is amazing!  And if I switch this then... yes, wow!  This is incredible!”  What is going on?

Then the doctor makes his move, and... strangles Trunks? What?  Every other time Baby’s done this bit, he just forces himself down the victim’s throat.  This time, he tells Trunks exactly how he survived their last encounter and infiltrated Pital using that sick boy they found. 

But Trunks has outsmarted Baby because Goku and Pan arrive to back him up.  Turns out they’ve been onto Baby since the start of this episode.  Remember when Baby blew up that hospital room?  Well he used his ki to do it, and Goku sensed it and recognized Baby’s unique energy immediately.  They couldn’t sense him while he was inside someone’s body, but all they had to do was play dumb and wait for Baby to make a move, like how Trunks did when he agreed to go on this “tour”.  As soon as Baby revealed himself, Pan and Goku could come a’runnin’. 

So it looks like now they finally have Baby dead to rights, and this time they know he can survive getting blown up with ki blasts, so they’ll do a more thorough job of it.  But first, Pan asks Baby about how he found the One-Star Dragon Ball that he used as bait in the previous episode.  Baby is... surprisingly accommodating about this.  He explains that Dr. Mu just happened to discover it one day, and he “digitized it” and stored it inside his own head, which is why the GT Crew never detected it before.  So basically I was right when I speculated that Dr. Mu just happened across a Dragon Ball the same way Bulma way back in the beginning.  We still don’t know how Mu learned what it was or that there were six more, or how to make them grant wishes, or how to track them down.  But honestly, I’m surprised Baby was willing to explain as much as he did.

Pan asks if Baby has any other Dragon Balls, and he says they only had the one.  He wants the whole set, but he knew he could just wait for the GT crew to gather the others.  Wait...

Okay, so he either wants the GT crew for their Saiyan power, or he wants them to locate all the Dragon Balls.  Right now they only have four, but he’s trying to ambush them in this hospital anyway. 

I mean, this will work out for him eventually, but you see what I’m saying, right?  This whole scheme in Episodes 23 and 24 is pretty clever, but shouldn’t he have held off until they found the other three Dragon Balls?  Or is he content to eliminate the GT crew today and finish tracking the Dragon Balls himself?  I mean, that sounds sensible, but it’s not what he’s saying he wanted to do.

On the other hand, maybe I should give this episode a little more credit.  The good guys looked clueless for most of this story, but now we see that they were just waiting for Baby to overplay his hand.  And Baby has a bigger agenda than he’s letting on, so maybe he’s just playing the part of a mustache twirling rival in the hunt for the Dragon Balls. 

So they fight, and Baby gets kicked around a lot until he pulls a Kid Buu and powers up.  I know I keep harping on this, but it is impossible to tell how strong anyone is in this show. If Baby could actually take on three Saiyans and win, then why is he bothering with all this sneaking around?  And if he’s not strong enough to take on three Saiyans, then what the hell is this?  And if he’s capable of big ki stunts like this, then why aren’t Goku and Trunks turning Super Saiyan to finish him off quickly?

Here’s a cool shot of Trunks getting blown away in the blast Baby is throwing off.

Trunks sustains a nasty cut on his arm...

And Baby liquefies and dives right into the wound.  Okay, so up to now, Baby’s had to enter people’s bodies more forcefully than this, because none of his victims had open cuts on their bodies.  Apparently it’s simpler for him when he can just go straight into their bloodstream.  Also, this shot implies that Goku and Pan are just standing around watching this happen.  Way to be, guys.  Way to be.

So now Baby has control of Trunks’ body, and while Pan and Goku argue over how to defeat Baby without hurting Trunks, Baby gets the drop on Goku and aims a ki blast at his face at pointblank range.  Baby thinks Goku can’t dodge, but consider: Even though GT Goku can’t teleport properly with his dumb kid body, he can teleport about six feet above his current position, as seen in Episode 4.  So he could use that in a fight, if only to buy a little breathing room.  He probably couldn’t get away with using it more than once before the opponent figures out his limitations, but it’s a thought.

But it doesn’t matter, because Trunks suddenly begins to resist Baby’s control, and he turns Super Saiyan, which overwhelms Baby in some way.  Apparently he didn’t know about this?  Even though Goku and Trunks used Super Saiyan to fight Luud and Rildo?  Did Baby not know about those battles?  What was the point of him controlling all those idiots if he didn’t stay up to date on their activities?

So this is a total shut out for the good guys, right?  Baby’s only chance was to control their bodies, but now he can’t even do that anymore, so this is it, right?  Wrong, Baby uses a bootleg Solar Flare trick and runs away while the gang are blinded.  Seriously, this is just Imperfect Cell all over again.  The difference is that Giru has a filter for his optical sensor, so he can follow Baby’s movements.  Except it doesn’t matter because no one actually follows Baby or tries to stop him.  Giru just watches him go and reports that he’s getting away. 

And Baby makes it all the way to a spaceport, where he possesses a woman and feeds on all the other passengers.  Things didn’t go as he hoped today, but he’s confident that he’ll win the next time, once he’s gotten stronger. 

And the good guys... don’t seem to care?  They can’t find Baby after he’s out of sight, because there’s no ki to sense and the trail has gone cold, but they also don’t bother to warn anyone on Pital about this alien parasite that controls people’s bodies.  Goku says some boilerplate crap about how they’ll defeat him by working together, and then they just get back on their ship and leave. 

This is really weak.  I don’t know what I expect them to do in this situation.  I mean, they kind of have to move on because they’re still in a hurry to find the rest of the Dragon Balls before the Earth explodes.   But they don’t even bring that up when they leave Pital.  You could do some interesting character work with that premise.  Goku and Pan don’t like leaving the Baby problem unresolved, but Trunks has to keep them focused on their mission. 

And that’s what bugs me about GT.  So much of this show is just stuff sort of happening.  Fights just sort of end, not because one side was stronger or more skillful, but because the writers wanted the fight to be over.  Baby doesn’t mind losing this skirmish, because he knows he can just try again whenever he’s ready, but that just underscores the fact that he never needed to pull this stunt in the first place.  He just did it because the writers wanted him to.  And then when it didn’t work, he just ran away and no one stopped him because the writers weren’t ready to kill him off yet.

✨ “Good” “Ideas”, Poorly Executed✨

So yeah, Baby is just a remix of Buu and Cell at this point.  He drains energy from his victims, leaving spaceships full of corpses.  Well, that ship from the last episode didn’t have any corpses, so I don’t know what the rule is with Baby.  Maybe he plans to eat these passengers later and the episode ended before he could finish. 

Cell, of course, always left the clothes behind, because it’s creepier and more awesome.  It’s the little details that the copycats never pick up on, which is why they’ll never surpass the original.

As for Buu, Baby basically stole his absorption technique, except that Baby enters his victims’ bodies instead of enveloping them the way Buu would do.  Also, Baby’s method of entering his victims is a lot like that trick Super Buu would do to blow people up from the inside. 

There’s some other tricks Baby has up his sleeve, but those are just stolen from other villains, so I’ll address those when the time comes.  Basically, this little shit is the crown jewel of Dragon Ball GT, perhaps the most memorable character introduced in the show, and he’s just a shallow retread of ideas we’ve seen before.

To be clear: I don’t object to the Dragon Ball franchise recycling old ideas, or borrowing ideas from old stories to make new ones.  The recent Dragon Ball Super movies have shamelessly brought back Broly, Gogeta, and the Red Ribbon Army, and they’re still excellent films.  GT is allowed to do the same.  My favorite Dragon Ball character is Cell, who is literally just a mashup of several other characters combined with a cicada.  When it comes to originality, the bar is actually pretty low for me. 

The point I’m trying to make here is that GT is a terrible show, and people will try to defend it by saying is had “some good ideas”.  But it doesn’t.  Baby is perhaps the best thing to come out of GT, and it’s not a “good idea”.  It’s a mish-mash of a bunch of other ideas we’ve seen before.  And that would still be serviceable, except the show is poorly written, glacially paced, and oftentimes just unappealing to look at.  Also, it gets really saccharine in places. 

Maybe a truly “good idea” could have overcome those flaws, but GT doesn’t have one of those.  What is has are a bunch of obsolete storytelling formulas and elements borrowed from more successful shows.   The only reason it lasted as long as it did was because it’s chock full of characters from the hit manga Dragon Ball.  If GT were a wholly original story without any connection to Dragon Ball, it would have died on the vine a lot sooner.

✨Positivity Page✨

Having said all that, it’s refreshing to see how much more focused the show has become now that it’s ditched all the other villains in favor of Baby.  It’s just one bad guy, operating alone, and he’s actually a genuine threat, instead of a dance trio or that stupid catfish man-child thing that could predict earthquakes. 

My guess is that Toei had to struggle to change the series when they decided to ditch the “Grand Tour” concept in favor of a more “Dragon Ball Z”-style plot structure.  Before, there was a clear sense of GT having these mini-arcs with a different villain in each one.  They didn’t have to be good villains because they weren’t going to be around long enough to matter.  Goku would beat them up in a few minutes and then they’d head out to the next planet. 

Maybe Baby was always going to be the secret mastermind at the end of the Dragon Ball hunt, but I get the sense that they already had plots for the Luud Cult and Giru’s homeworld, and quickly adapted them to set up Baby as the secret boss of both of those things.  Then, once Baby was introduced, they jettisoned all that other stuff and focused squarely on him.  Episodes 8 through 22 really felt like they were making it up as they went, and now that Baby is here, we’re not seeing that haphazard storytelling anymore.  Which tells me that they only used it in Episodes 8-22 because they had to, not because they wanted to. 

I’d like to say that GT has finally found its footing, and can now tell the story its creators set out to tell, except that isn’t actually true.  The story they wanted to tell was the Grand Tour, but then they realized it wouldn’t work, and everything after Episode 3 has been a hasty course correction.  With Baby, things have settled into a comfortable path forward, but this is just Toei doing the practical thing to keep the show on the air.  

✨Is this episode worse than “The Roaming Lake”?✨ 

Yes, it’s worse.  To give this episode credit, it spends a lot of its run time looking like every episode before it.  Characters just sort of tool around waiting for the next plot point to happen, and it gets pretty dull in places.  This is something GT 22 and “The Roaming Lake” have in common.  We spend a lot of time in this episode fretting about Goku’s dinner plans.

But it turns out it’s all a shocking SWERVE~!, and the GT crew was only pretending to while away an afternoon.  In fact, they were just waiting for Baby to ambush them so that they could spring their clever trap.  The problem is that when you do an episode about the characters pretending to do nothing, it’s still just as boring as when they’re sincerely doing nothing. 

Like, I’m just spitballing here, but they’re on an alien planet, where they could literally do anything the writers could imagine.  Why not have them go to an arcade, where they could play-duel with lightsabers?  Maybe they go scuba diving.  I don’t know. 

Instead they stay at the hospital, because there is literally nowhere else for them to go.  They can’t even eat anywhere else.  Okay, fine, but instead of having Goku fishing in their backyard, why not have him hunt for wild game in the Pital wilderness?  I know they want to keep close to Baby, but they also know Baby will come after them. 

Hell, let’s say they don’t want to leave the hospital grounds.  Fine.  Then have them check out some cool shit in the hospital.  They could go look at the new babies.  Just think of all the adorable baby aliens they could have put in this episode.  Maybe there’s a sick bird in the hospital, and Goku uses his Movie 5 Super Saiyan bird-healing powers to fix it.  That’d be fucking awesome. 

I think the thing that I keep circling around with these “Roaming Lake” comparisons is this: With GT, these dull episodes are the A-plot.  “The Roaming Lake” was just trying to fill time until the show could resume adapting the manga.  GT doesn’t have that logistical issue, and yet it still churns out dull filler anyway.  It’s like GT is waiting for a secret chapter of the Dragon Ball manga, and then they can do a kickass 65th episode, but until then we’re just sort of limping along with this side-story.

✨The Blade Braxton Memorial Haiku*✨

Come visit Pital!

See our nipple-biting deer

And poop-flavored fish.