#not now I won’t allow that
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Guys I’m going into antman having watched NONE of the Disney plus shows. I have no idea if there’s characters I should already know and I don’t really care
#im here for scott lang and scott lang only#if he dies I’ll onky watch the last guardians of the galaxy#any anything with Bruce if he’s back to normal again#if not I’m leaving the mcu for good#and I actually mean it this time#there’s nothing to tie me down#these aren’t the characters I grew up with or loved#just mindless machines for a money hungry company#I won’t even stay if Cassie lives#mostly because I don’t have enough of an emotional connection to this cassie#I love the actress and Cassie but it’s a new face and to me a new character in a way#im sure I’ll love her in the movie but it won’t be enough for me to come back just for her#and if Scott goes I know pretty all of the antfam will be gone#whatoh back at it again#guys I might actually cry for real#not now I won’t allow that#but definitely once that movie is over if not before that#ant man and the wasp quantumania#antman quantamania#antman#scott lang
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the fact that kevin day also witnessed a man being chopped up in the tower at evermore after neil’s audition is mad, and it’s something that is very much not addressed ever. like, maybe part of kevin was so accepting of how things were in the nest because he knew that this is the second branch, and if he were to leave, he’d become the main branch’s problem because he knows too much, and the main branch casually chops men up as a warning to literal children. and then he’s still called a coward for leaving ?? but also a coward for wanting to go back to make the inevitable less painful for him ??? and that’s not even considering what riko and tetusji did to him specifically, before even jean arrived at the nest. and his mother’s death would’ve been quite recent at that point. just insane.
#like i’m pretty sure the man being chopped up was the final straw for mary to take neil and run#and kevin saw that and wasn’t allowed to leave#so he accepted that maybe where he is is the better of two options and decided it’s okay because at least he gets to play exy#so exy became his only escape because if he was so scared that if he were to leave the nest he’d be the next one given to the butcher#it’s not until he doesn’t have exy anymore cause riko took it from him that he leaves#god i have so many thoughts but i am going to stop now#aftg#all for the game#kevin day#neil josten#so you’ll believe that neil was scared of nathan for a good reason but won’t believe kevin was scared of riko for good reason#(i said i’d stop but i did not)#and tetsuji#like even in tsc kevin is still calling tetsuji the master without hesitation
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I try to generally be constructive and engaged with the show I love on here, so on this day, I’ll just say that one of the most thematically important aspects for me from the original ATLA is Aang’s emotional core of real shame for running away when he was hurt by the monk’s decision to send him away. People who feel the kind of deep-seated shame that Aang feels from this decision can understand how that kind of all-encompassing shame is not built around a simple failure or a lie they tell themselves; it’s constructed from real misbehaviors and transgressions of their own sense of ethics—lashing out, telling lies, attempting to hurt others intentionally—that then have consequences (abuses, abandonments, or deaths) which seem to far exceed their expectations or even basic logic.
The combination of the misbehavior with exaggerated existential punishments (along with a lack of support and amend-making in the immediate wake of the events) is what transforms a sense of guilt (I fucked up) into shame (I am a forever fuck-up). Then shame, that sense of being a secret monster ‘no matter what I do or how good everyone thinks I am,’ invites all the avoidance strategies (Aang puts on big smiles, makes lots of jokes, constantly tries to make everyone happy, hops from town to town without building deeper connections). One doesn’t want to acknowledge one’s true feelings or let others in to see those feelings and experiences because it’s too painful to face the grief at the same time that you have to look at yourself for being responsible—even when you recognize it wasn’t totally your fault. It’s just that if you had just been good, less emotional, less human, then maybe the world wouldn’t be so messed up. Of course, in a zen view of things, the world will always be messed up in the same way it will always be beautiful. These are constant facts that always coexist in balance, and this is the truth that Aang learns and that undergirds the whole series.
So I always loved that Aang ran away. It was his sin and his salvation. And it becomes this constant tension for the series—he gets hurt in Bato of the Water Tribe and starts to run away from Katara and Sokka, he runs away to the Guru in the Crossroads of Destiny and his best friend is attacked, he and the gaang retreat after the Day of the Black Sun failure, he runs away to meditation in Sozin’s Comet when everyone wants him preparing for war. Aang’s reluctance to be a hero and the attachments and petulance for which he gets criticized are what metamorphasize to become his most noble attributes. They allow him to empathize with others shame and, ultimately, wield the kind of compassion that can deconstruct the power and perfectionism of imperialism.
So yes, Aang ran away from his temple 100 years ago. It wasn’t the mentally healthy choice. It wasn’t the ethical choice. It wasn’t the wise choice. It was human and emotional and shameful and real. Aang is a better character for it. ATLA is a better show because of it. And we are better people when we understand these kind of tragic emotional experiences that people are trying so hard to grow through.
#aanglove#vague posting about the nf adaptation lol#I won’t go off in my posts but I will in my comments#only 17 minutes in tbh#and already amazed at realizing how cool it was that the of series wasn’t told in a linear style lol#I do think the casting department went off for the nf series tho#the kid playing aang is so perf#and all the actors fit their parts so well#but the show doesn’t understand or seem interested in depicting colonial violence at alllll#and the language of the fire nation wanting to ‘take over the world’ is so much more marvel than a colonial rhetoric#and then aang just wanting to ‘go get some air’ to clear his head…😑#we aren’t allowed to have problematic protagonists anymore I guess#only people with perfect mental health strategies allowed in young adult fiction#because we view fiction from a moralistic standpoint now instead of an empathetic one#but 🤷🏻♀️
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WHY are BT shippers so vehemently against actually analyzing the symbolism and choices made for this show?
i mean i saw multiple people saying we were overthinking the vertigo poster. they were saying that it was weird to assume that Buck would fill the pining best friend role that Midge did in the original movie??? (haven’t seen the movie, i just read a few synopses)
i’m sorry, so you agree that he put Ryan Guzman in the main character and Devin Kelley as the love interest because they’ll fill those roles in the storyline, but we’re overthinking when we point out what role he put Oliver Stark in?
or when i bring up the possible symbolism of Tommy always calling him Evan, the only response i get from BT stans is “well he would tell him if he didn’t like it” or “i think it’s because he was introduced that way and that’s why” or even “i think he probably likes that Tommy calls him Evan” (all real responses i saw) and it’s like, yeah that’s cool, those are great headcanons for you, but that actually isn’t what i was talking about. nothing wrong with having a headcanon, but it doesn’t explain anything about the show or answer any of my questions.
i mean in s4 he corrected his PARENTS and told them his name was Buck, and in s6 it was used to emphasize the strangeness of his coma dream, how everyone was calling him Evan, the whole show him being called Evan has almost always been used to emphasize that someone doesn’t know him very well, how are y’all convinced that it’ll mean something different this time? i get that some people think it’s supposed to be growth, that he’s cool with being called his first name, but if that’s the goal it definitely isn’t reading that way to me.
like i wish i could see things through the same lens as these people so it could make sense to me, i just don’t get how you can willfully ignore SO many hints just so you can ship what you want.
no hate to the ship or the shippers obviously, i’m just baffled by the lengths they’ll go to in order to convince themselves that plot device man is endgame for Buck.
#buddie#i know now that i’m not allowed to tag this bucktommy#i still feel like i should but i know they’ll get mad at me#911#911 on abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#tommy kinard#and like it’s fine to ship what you want but why do you have to try and convince everyone it’s endgame?#like just ship it and be happy you get content#you actually don’t have to convince us to ship it as well#you don’t have to try and stop buddie fans from shipping what we want#you are actually allowed to ship what you want without trying to discredit everyone’s theories#plus like even if i’m wrong theories are still fun#even if the show turns out nothing like i’m predicting it will(it most definitely won’t turn out like my predictions)#i still had fun speculating#even if it is all over analyzed (it probably is) it’s still fun#also didn’t tim minear say this season would parallel s4?#in s4 it was HEAVILY emphasized in buck begins that his parents calling him Evan made him uncomfortable#if this season really does parallel s4 (not seeing it yet but idk) then that choice HAS to be intentional
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"yeah I know you've been telling me you're in pain like every day bc of your cavity but here's a video of someone else who got their wisdom teeth removed and is panicking from the the anesthesia and ‘acting stupid’. I have greatly implied up to this point that I don't want you to get anesthesia or to not remove the teeth at all”
#they’re taking out four fucking teeth and im not even allowed to take them afterward.#do you honestly expect that they would give me the option of not being under anesthesia.#they won’t let someone I trust be in the room as it’s happening i don’t Want anesthesia.#idgaf if I say something stupid on anesthesia. im terrified of someone doing something to me that I won’t know about or remember#idk im not fucking blaming you that I Haven’t been to a dentist my whole life. were kinda Not Well Off#but you expect me to just Deal With It as my fucking tooth rots?#it could fucking kill me. the infection could spread to my brain and it could actually fucking kill me#and if they just take out all four Now I won’t have to worry abt it again Ever#it’s funny that when our cat was having teeth issues you expected me to deal wifh it pay#payment and all but when it comes to Me having teeth issues suddenly you want to have a say. fuck off#tooth trauma#words from the monarch
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I hope whoever asked ebon about sydrichie and genuinely thought it was a good idea has perpetual hell temperatured pillow syndrome on both sides and loses ample amount of sleep from it. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHY DO Y’ALL ALWAYS DO THAT WITH EVERYTHING THAT IS SACRED TO ME? That was meant to stay in this space and you weird mothertruckers in fandoms that just have to know what actors think about ships think it’s okay to ask (ALSO ALWAYS AT EVENTS THAT DONT EVEN PERTAIN TO THE SHIP). LIKE Y’ALL ARE RUINING IT.
ALSO JUST TO ADD ON, THIS IS THE TYPE OF SHIT THAT CAUSES WRITERS AND ACTORS SO SHY AWAY FROM SCENES INVOLVING CERTAIN CHARACTERS INTERACTING BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT PEOPLE TO “GET THE WRONG IDEA” WHEN REALLY ITS JUST THAT Y’ALL DONT KNOW HOW GO BE NORMAL ABOUT ANYTHING.
#the bear fx#richie jerimovich#sydney x richie#sydney adamu#this isn’t about whether you like the ship or not#This is about not asking actors how they feel about ships that aren’t canon or realistically won’t ever be a thing#like allow that shit to just live within a fandom space#now I have to live with the secondhand embarrassment of that#we need to stop pushing the narrative that everything with which becomes a concept in a fandom has the potential to be a thing#and we also need to remember that despite actors being seperate from their characters they still have to zip on that characters life#they still have to live it and they know that character and their dynamic with other characters very well because they have to#some of y’all are too deep into the fandom content and it’s concerning#that’s coming from someone who is into different ships from all sorts of media#I swear if I don’t get anymore syd and Richie becoming work besties because of this imma be so sad
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yeah, it kinda hurts.
#my stance: i strongly disagree with the decision#i won’t get into everything right now bc the way i feel has been said by many many people already#and it’s really crazy to me that there’s ppl on tumblr who agree with the decision and are bashing those who don’t. just be so fuckining fr#people are allowed to not like a decision these people have made#not everyone is completely blinded by parasocialism#anyways. its disappointing#watcher#steven lim#Ryan bergara#Shane madej
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I managed to see some of the pages of the What If…? Marc was the host of Venom. These were some of my favorite lines.
#moon knight#what if#marvel#I’m might use the free trail on Audible for the book#even if it’s not the best I will take anything in moon knight#like what do you mean Venom won’t allowed his Marc to talk with his alters because they can’t live together#fanfiction save me now /j
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I’ve got another thing in the works have a sneak peek 🫡💥
#gravity falls#animatic#standford pines#I’m shaking so badly right now but I won’t allow these mortal restraints stop me!
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God, there’s something about the framing of Shauna beating up on Lottie. To have Lottie place her hands deliberately behind her back. To have her expressly ask the only boys to leave the room—to have her ask Travis to take Javi out of the room, as this kind of scene would normally request a young woman to be removed before the violence can start. To have no slapping, no hair-pulling, but the sheer escalation of grief into brutality. To pull no punches. And to cut in all these slow motion scenes of the women they become—traumatized, grief-stricken, lonely, guilty, dying—dancing, laughing, letting the snow wash away the blood and the pain for a little while. Letting the friendship montage together with the violence. It’s poetic, and it’s awful, and it’s perfectly done in the most haunting sense.
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets spoilers#yj meta#I love this show so much#I love the melding of tragedy and comedy#I love the sacrifices these girls make for one another even when they’re destructive and awful#I love that Shauna doesn’t trust Lottie—maybe trusts her the least right now because she believes Lottie orchestrated her grief#and so Lottie offers herself up. I won’t fight back. it’s not for me to fight back. I’m giving you something to hit because#you can’t hit loss. you can’t hit grief. but you can break your hands trying.#and to intersect all of this with their adult selves at the first party any of them have allowed themselves in ages#a genuine letting go. a genuine reminder that they did and do care for one another#even under all the blood and the misery and the memories no one wants#they brought that darkness back but they also brought back some sliver of who they were Before#and this is the first time we truly get to see their 40 year old selves linger on that
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You think we’ll actually get that website with the Andor scripts and concept art or nah? 😔
#star wars#andor#I feel like Disney won’t allow it now in case it draws attention to the Writers Strike#you just know they would pull something like that…
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People who see entire demographics of humanity as “the enemy” are so baffling to me, whether they’re incels/misogynists or racists or radfems or whomever I just look at them and wonder why you’d choose a life of such misery. People of a certain gender, sexuality, race or whatever demographic are not inherently your enemy just because they are part of said demographic. Gender and race essentialism is incredibly dangerous and untrue and it especially confuses me when people who claim to be trans allies abide by the former because that mindset is especially dangerous to trans people.
People are individuals, not a hive mind. Society as a whole has massive issues, and some groups may benefit from them more than others (like how the patriarchy hurts men but they still benefit from it far more than women ever will because it has men in mind, albeit only a certain type of man), but individuals are individuals. And what a depressing life it must be to instead navigate the world believing that millions of people are beneath you before they’ve even spoken a word.
#Like I get women being wary of men. I get that and even I am tbh#I’m very visibly queer and rather short most men could kill me and I’d be powerless#But that’s not what I’m talking about I’m talking about the ‘fuck men they can die’ shit#Or people like my uncle who’s antisemitic because a Jewish person he knew happened to be quite nasty#I’ve been abused by cis women many times but they were dicks because they were dicks. Not because they were women#And don’t even get me started on incels. ‘Women suck because they won’t fuck me’ go to therapy#All misogynists need mandatory therapy before they’re allowed to talk to women again please#I would say I’m CAUTIOUS of women now but I still love them very much and I’m working through my wariness in therapy myself#Me being cautious is my own problem to deal with its not women’s fault as a whole#But yeah. I understand caution due to trauma. I do not understand hatred#And JKR for example very much needs to work through her hatred…#equality#feminism#intersectional feminism#actual feminism#misogyny#racism#transphobia#gender essentialism#race essentialism#antisemitism#anti terf#anti radfem#terfs fuck off#radfems fuck off
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Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.
#I’m resuming this tomorrow it’s been hours now I’m just mad#I’m home because my parents are moving to a different state and I needed to pack whatever was left#and for some reason we just keep old devices when we’re done with them#so I borrow an adapter to allow me to connect my ancient unworking iPad mini to my laptop#factory reset it. i have to reset an old email to access the old Apple id to fully reset it.#it won’t connect to the wifi so I have to reset the settings. i find out it’s too old to run pjsk.#i find an old phone that should work. i reset it as well. I’m able to download pjsk & it takes 20 minutes.#pjsk crashes everytime I try to open it. i attempt to run bluestacks on my computer. bluestacks doesn’t have 64 bit for mac yet.#i get a free trial of parallels and download windows onto my laptop. this takes 40 minutes.#i try to download and run bluestacks on that. m1 macs apparently can’t run bluestacks 64 bit through parallels.#i go find the final old phone that I had forgotten about. it takes forever to charge because the charging port is fucked up. i reset it as#well. it can’t connect to wifi. i try a hotspot on my current phone. service is too awful. i try to do wifi sharing from my laptop.#you have to be connected to the router via a cable for that to work.#at this point it has been like 3 hours. I’m giving up because I’ve been down this route before#when I attempted to run 32 bit steam games on m1 mac#(wine64 doesn’t exist for m1 macs yet -> attempt to run boot camp -> boot camp isn’t a thing anymore on Apple silicon -> attempt to run#several different programs that allow me to run windows on a mac. none of them work. ->#look into linux & give up. -> attempt to implement the unfinished/unbottled wine64 code thru terminal. ->#fuck up and delete some important file & have to fix that (misery inducing) -> keep trying. i think I downloaded a Mac coding program at#some point? i realize I have zero coding knowledge and this is a mistake. -> give up and purchase crossover. game doesn’t even work. ->#3 months later update to the latest OS so I can have enough storage to play psychonauts 2. find out the $60 crossover#purchase was a bad idea because ‘heehee crossover doesn’t work on that buy the new version’ (fuck crossover).#my toxic trait is my belief that I can figure out anything via google and sheer stubbornness. usually this is true. occasionally there are#exceptions to this rule. most of them are because owning Apple products is a mistake.#i think if I reset the router tomorrow I can solve this problem but I can also just go elsewhere with better service or wait until I’m home#now it’s a matter of pride. and also free 4*/I have nothing better to do because I’m stuck here until Tuesday.#<- this is all normal behavior by the way. who doesn’t spend 8 hours ramming their head against a problem every once and a while. enrichment#mine#oh I forgot. i also looked into cloning the app but that would cost money for something that might not even work.#‘just log out and make an alt’ and risk losing my account? I’m stupid enough to overwrite it on accident.
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WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE
#I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BUT STILL. SOMEONE SHOULDVE WARNED ME BEFORE I GOT COMPLETELY INVESTED#I know next to nothing abt dimension 20 I’m pretty sure I just saw a post abt burrows end specifically MONTHS ago and was like 👀👀👀#opened a tab with the first episode to watch later and promptly forgot about it#until last night! having a bad night and was like hrm what if I just watch smth#and I’ve been reading watership down recently!! finally got my own copy bc it was my favourite book when I was like NINE#so I am fully primed to fall in love with a story abt little animals rn and man#I am OBSESSED with this and also realising yeah I’m at a point where I could get very into tabletop rpgs now#what if. what if I just get dropout. what if I just do that. would that not be fun. I would like to see the stoats do stuff#i am so in love with Ava and her player and I understand so much more about brennan lee mulligan now. and VIOLA#viola may be my favourite character I’m obsessed with how she interacts with other characters.m#i NEED to know what’s up with thorn’s cult thing. and also thorn. what is going on there#hrrgrhehh the thing that’s holding me back is I’m allergic to subscriptions#impermanence. even though I know it’s fairly unlikely I’ll wanna watch it again any time soon I don’t like the idea that I’d have to like#in a couple years pay for it again or not be able to bc I can’t afford it even though I already paid for it once#I’m a books + cartridge games guy and it shows.#okay. I will chew on this. the price is not unreasonable and I have coincidentally also been looking at make some noise clips#it does not help that I basically never watch things but my favourite podcast is also ending within the next month (2 episodes left)#and this IS primarily audio so I could cook + watch mayhaps. and I’ve heard good things abt all other d20.#they have a 20% off first year deal on. annual would make me less stressed long term if I end up liking this bc cheaper + choice premade#and would also mean I can do it now and not feel bad abt wasting the first month bc I won’t be able to watch much for a few weeks#fuck it I’m allowed to make frivolous purchases sometimes I will simply swallow the subscription distaste#more stoats >:)#that aside all the players are incredible I’m pretty sure when this is done I’ll wanna watch other seasons just to see what else they do#okay go do the thing I believe in you you can spend money sometimes#luke.txt#update I downloaded the app. I am putting off the decision for another day now bc it’s 1:21am and I have not been thinking clearly <3
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Day two of rapidly pounding down two to three cups of coffee in one sitting like a fucking maniac:
I did my dishes, disinfected and de-scaled my kitchen sink, swept the floors, rearranged the ingredients I have out on the counter, wiped down my microwave, the stove, and the countertops with vinegar water.
#I am slowly turning into Captain Janeway#Actually ADHD#The coffee was still watery so I need to put more grounds in for the taste but I feel the level of caffeine is good for me#Maybe I should buy a bag of Turkish coffee from the Arab-owned café because holy shit it’s amazing#But not now I need to get groceries and then not spend anything for the next two weeks#Except to purchase a rolling island for my kitchen on Marketplace which is allowed because it’s cash money not bank money#Bank money pays the rent and utilities and needs to be conserved.#Cash money is for local purchases that cannot be paid electronically so it doesn’t count if I spend it#because it‘s not used for the same things#I’m still frugal with it but it is infinitely less stressful to spend it because I view it as “extra”#And it sounds like I’m being careless but actually I’m being extra careful because if I buy something electronically#I assume I have less money than I do because I don’t count the cash money with the bank money#If I don’t have enough to buy something with my debit card I wait it out and don’t put my cash money in the bank to cover it#However if I earn 150 dollars pet sitting I may decide to put 100 dollars in savings and use the 50 as cash money#but once I make that decision there is no going back#The same works in reverse: I never withdraw bank money to turn it into cash money#And the rule is if I put money into savings it shall absolutely positively not come back out again until I need it for a goal#like a down payment on a house or something… which is a LONG way off#Although I may pull from it to fund my adaptation in the near future… still deciding#Wow I did not mean to talk about finances ahsbsjdndnsks#But yeah I’m really good with money so if anyone needs budgeting/penny pinching tips please do hit me up#Don’t ask me about investing or cash back though… I don’t understand them#and if I don’t understand something I won’t use it
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please pick friends u can argue or have misunderstandings with and actually communicate with immediately after like, it’s so fucking important
#like if anything I’ve learned the last couple years is fucking communicate#like actually#my family isn't really big on it and that's probably part of the reason I started writing so young#tried to break that with my niece and was mostly successful we fight but can actually discuss and work things out and talk#I always have encouraged her to express her damn feelings because my stereotypical scorpio sister is in there too so I had to drag it out#and I can be the same it’s hard for me but I try harder now than before#I’m always honest with myself but expression is hard I get it#like we fought the other day and when she came home l expected her to just go in her room#and she just stood there and looked at me like well??? like that one meme haha#and we talked instead#gotta break those generational curses man#but yeah holding people accountable and calling them out is needed sometimes and also apologizing and talking it the fuck out#even if it sucks….do it#set boundaries and u allow what u allow#I’m at the point of my life I just won’t tolerate certain things and that’s valid but also without communication#you’re not moving either way with clarity and clarity is everything#it’s ok to move on from any kind of relationship but were u honest first? was there clarity#and if nothing changes or you can’t find peace you can move on and compartmentalize that loss better because u tried first#I get some reasons don’t warrant any of that but overall#but yeah I do word things like a straight up bitch sometimes and yes u should tell me hahah#can piss eachother off and misunderstand eachother#but there’s paragraphs coming and that’s the important bit#I’m still learning but better than I was
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