#not my...smartest idea but it worked

[tsubasaclones]

Little kitty

[galakianexplosion]

A little Taranza for @sol-lar-bink !

Its my first time drawing taranza actually ^^' i hope its good enough! Funilly enough, i drew him today [at school during my break] and had started playing Triple Deluxe this morning a few hours before i even saw the request [i think thats a fun fact]

Why is he holding a tea cup? Idk i like tea cups

And a little Mirror kirby [which is one of my favorite ability] for @ceoofmetagala ! I also happened to like silly hats!

I did mirror, because i already have a beam art piece that i never posted for some reason?

If you have any other kirby abilities/characters/literally anything you'd like to see [exept characters like landia because i suck so bad at animals you should see my horrible first attempt at drawing DDD]

You can request as many as you'd like [tho if its like 130 characters i may not make everyone sorry]

🧍‍♂️

🕺

[new-haven-psych-ward]

Kamen Rider Geats episode 35 poorly summarized via memes with as little context as possible:

[sammydem0n64]

Some of y’all are gonna enjoy this one

[starl1tsky]

i LITERALLY just need to lock in

[bittwitchy]

my gift is being annoying, see, i can hate myself and be so horrendously anxious that i think trying to make being alive easier for myself is somehow offensive to others bc thats how so many people online act like literally any accomodations not made by the doctors that dont care abt you at all are somehow unnecessary and ‘fishing for attention’ to the point i ruin myself and destroy my body avoiding accomodations bc i dont want to ‘seem like a bad person’ for quite literally needing help. but give me a tv show and 30 seconds with new information and i will either give you the most thought provoking theory or the most wildcard theory ever and always be correct.

[starrbucky]

.

[luveline]

hotch's sister x spencer where hotch notices she's wearing spencer's clothes?

—You and Spencer get one another in trouble with your older brother. fem!reader, 1k

Your brother, though you’re adopted, has passed down onto you many things. Mostly his frown, but more embarrassingly his high-pitched giggle when something is startlingly funny. 

You laugh like a hyena at something Spencer’s said. He tries to grab you before you walk straight into his desk corner, but he’s too slow. You whack your hip and laugh again, this time in pain, bending over to grab at your wound in defeat. 

“Oh my god,” he says, trying not to laugh loudly, his efforts turning his own laugh into a giggle like yours as he bends down to see you, “are you okay?” He laughs so much he can barely ask. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” you squeeze between a laugh, letting him pull you into a standing position. 

“What is it?” he asks, grabbing your hip, which worsens your laughter all over again. “What?” 

“You’re super handsy, Dr. Reid.” 

A sharp clearing of the throat echoes. You tense up, begging Spencer mentally not to give you away, but his hand practically flies back into his chest like you’ve burned him. 

You turn to the office. “Hi, Aaron.” 

Aaron Hotchner stands at the balcony overlooking the bullpen where you and Spencer stand. “Honey. Just give me two minutes and I’ll come down, okay?” 

You give a big smile. “Yes, sir.” 

His eyes move to Spencer. You watch Aaron decide to leave it alone and can’t help laughing for the hundredth time today as your brother turns around to head back into his office.

“He’s ridiculous.” 

“He’s gonna fire me,” Spencer says, though he doesn’t sound serious. 

“And then you can come work with me.” 

Spencer doesn’t want to work at your new job, that much is clear from his expression, but he has enough social wits to realise you’re flirting. “That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world,” he says.

Spencer leans back against his desk, hair curled just under his ears, his hand reaching for you though he doesn’t touch. You sit down in his seat, the backs of your thighs sticking to warm leather. You aren’t working today, hence your social visit, and Spencer had distracted you on the way to Aaron’s office (through no fault of his own, you’d just wanted to see him again) with a shy wave. Like you hadn’t spent yesterday night together walking through fountains. 

You didn’t mean to fall in. Spencer helped you up onto the round basin of the fountain and you’d held hands, walking in circles so he’d have an excuse to keep rubbing your knuckles with his thumb. Seconds turned to minutes, the conversation unhurried, and one wrong move had you slipping. You fell calf deep into cold water, but his laughter had been worth it. 

“What are you thinking about?” he asks. 

You cross one leg over the other, your jean leg riding up your shin. “I’m thinking about what Aaron’s gonna buy me for lunch.” 

“What do you want?”

“I have no idea. It’s so hot out I barely wanna eat.” 

“Well, too bad, you have to.” He picks up a file from his outgoings and fans it at you nicely. When he talks again, his voice is lowered. “I was thinking, if you’re not busy, they have a movie playing in a couple of days at the independent, I think it’s in Portuguese, and I really think you’d like it.” 

“Yeah?” you ask, lavishing in the cold kiss of his manufactured breeze and the idea of another date. 

“About a little girl that turns into a star. They have popcorn bigger than anywhere else I’ve seen, too. Enough for three people in one bucket.” 

You try not to act too shy. “Well, hopefully it’s just me and you.” 

Spencer smiles at you between waves of his fan. “Is your hip okay?” he asks. 

“Spencer.” 

“Are you ready?” Aaron asks. 

You spin in Spencer’s chair toward your brother, shocked he’s there. He’s been funny since you and Spencer met, never controlling or cruel, yet clearly having a tough time coming to grips with the connection you’ve formed with his smartest employee. 

When you told him Spencer had given you his number, his eye twitched ever so slightly, and he excused himself for a glass of water. You’re not sure what is about the situation that irks him: he loves you, he loves Spencer in his way, he’d do anything for both of you, except acknowledge your burgeoning relationship. 

You nod but don’t stand. Your hip aches weirdly and the sitting is nice. Plus, it’s a sisterly duty to wind up her brother, even if you love him more than anybody on planet earth. 

“Spencer was just telling me about your accident in Scottsdale.” 

“He was,” Hotch says. He looks at you, and his eyes follow down the line of your leg to your shoes, where they stay. 

You glance down. 

“I’m trying something new,” you say, sitting up quickly. Scottsdale doesn’t seem so funny. 

“I can see that.” 

You’re wearing Spencer’s socks, odd ones sticking up past his borrowed converse. “It’s summer,” you say, standing up. 

“Mm.” He gestures for you to stand in front of him, his hand on your shoulder kind but firm as he steers you away. “And the odd socks, that’s a conscious choice?” 

“Don’t be mean.” 

“I’m not.” 

You glance back at Spencer and grin at him as you’re shepherded away. Hopefully he’ll call you later, but for now he looks like he’d like to dig himself a shallow grave.

“We went for a walk last night and I ruined my shoes,” you explain, turning your gaze to Aaron and his reluctant smile. “They were still wet this morning.” 

“What about those loafers I got you for your birthday?” he asks. 

“Well, I didn’t have them with me.” 

Aaron nods. There’s a certain impassiveness to his expression that you’re familiar with, even if it signifies disappointment. That you’re not so used to. 

“I thought you liked Spencer?” you ask. 

“I do. But I love you, and he’s…” 

“He’s what?” 

“At risk.” 

“You’ll just have to keep him safe for me,” you say, smiling at him breezily. 

Aaron seems to agree silently. You’re almost to the elevators when he says, “Please, wear your own socks. I know you know how to do your laundry, I’m the one who taught you how to do it.” 

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。GOODBYE KISS — GOJO SATORU. (rich boy! au)

contents. college! au, rich boy! gojo, established relationships, morning cuddles wif toru <3, morning tantrums with toru too lol, ft. our fav: momjo !!

satoru’s head is on your chest as he snores softly—normally, you adore the feeling of him so close to you, but right now, it’s five minutes until your wake-up-for-real-this-time-or-you’re-late alarm will go off. you’ve already hit snooze on the other six—how satoru’s slept through them all is a mystery to you.

you peer down at him, watching the way his lips are parted as soft breaths escape him in gentle sighs. his hair is messy over his forehead, and the sun makes his skin glow in that way only satoru could glow. you sigh, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, and as if he feels the affection in his sleep, he hums a little while still unconscious.

too bad you’ll have to break this peace in just a moment.

and this is going to work out poorly—you already know that. if you move from under satoru, he’ll wake up. if he wakes up, he’ll realize you’re trying to leave. if he realizes you’re trying to leave, he’ll have a meltdown. if he has a meltdown, he’ll surely win and convince you to stay. if you stay, you’ll miss class and fall behind on the notes. if you fall behind on the notes, you’ll procrastinate on catching up. if you procrastinate on catching up, you’ll know absolutely nothing by the time the next exam rolls around. if you know nothing by the time the next exam rolls around, you’ll have multiple mental breakdowns and lose yourself to stress the night before as you cram all in one sitting.

simply put, your entire grade resides on the fact that satoru is currently sleeping on your chest, and he definitely won’t let you leave.

you try anyway—and just as you suspect, you fail.

“huh? wha—where are you going?” he groans, rubbing his eyes as he blinks them open. “wait a sec—baby no,” he whines.

“shh, toru, you’re dreaming,” you kiss his forehead, “i’m not actually leaving.”

“i’m not stupid!”

“shhh, your dream is tricking you,” you insist, “i’m still right under you.”

“you can’t gaslight me! i’m not falling for your tricks,” he huffs, “how gullible do you think i am?”

very, you want to say—but that would be a bad idea.

“you’re not stupid at all, toru,” you say sweetly, “you’re the smartest man i’ve ever met.”

“this is definitely not a dream because you’re even meaner to me in my dreams,” he raises a brow, “dream you would never be this nice.”

“what do you mean i’m mean in your dreams?” you gasp. you’re not mean to satoru—you wouldn’t have to yell at him if he just behaved half the time.

“they’re more like nightmares,” he huffs, “last one, you made me sleep outside. that was rude.”

“how could you dream me being a jerk?” you ask, offended—and before he can answer, your wake-up-for-real-this-time-or-you’re-late alarm blares.

satoru glances down at your phone and stares for a moment—and then he flops back against his pillow as he whines miserably.

“don’t leave,” he begs, “please, just skip this one class for me? i get so cold in the mornings,” he pouts.

“then put a shirt on,” you sigh.

“i’ll be lonely!”

“not if i’m bullying you in your dreams, apparently.”

“baby, i can’t sleep without something to cuddle,” he tries again—that one almost makes you cave. you have to admit that cuddling isn’t something you enjoy passing on either, but class is important. more important than class is your sanity that you would like to keep intact instead of lose while cramming six chapters in one night.

“cuddle my pillow,” you sigh, “satoru, please. i’m already late.”

“just this once, okay? i won’t ask again,” he says innocently, his eyes wide and pleading as they peer up at you.

“you said that last time.”

“last time i crossed my fingers,” he winks, “so it didn’t count. so now you have to—”

“goodbye, satoru,” you mumble.

he slumps in defeat, grumbling under his breath before rolling over to turn his back to you petulantly. you sigh, rolling your eyes—though fondly, before you head to the bathroom, getting ready for the day.

by the time you’re out, satoru has fallen asleep again—you know it’s because he’s stayed up late again to play video games with suguru. because you don’t want to disturb him from his much needed sleep (and because you don’t want to risk waking up him and dealing with another tantrum), you decide to gently pull the blankets over his bare chest and skip the goodbye kiss.

it won’t be a big deal if he doesn’t get a kiss goodbye while he’s asleep, right? he won’t even be awake to notice.

evidently, you realize in the middle of class that you’re wrong. very wrong.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤToday, 8:32 AM

baby boy 💋:

you left without a goodbye kiss???????????

are you ignoring me????????????

baby

sweetheart

sunshine

angel

peaches

i know you’re reading this.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤToday, 8:41 AM

mrs. gojo ❤️:

please answer satoru. i really don’t want a headache today

this is very short and silly sorry. anyway rip momjo she deal with too much that boy is a handful

[teaboot]

As someone who learnt english as a second language via textbook, I have to say "flying by the seat of my pants" is a hilarious idiom xD

It's the first time I've seen/heard it.

Could you share another one you like using?

Idk about idioms specifically, but there's a bunch of phrases I learned from my mom!

Lord love a duck! (Incredulous, like 'oh my god')

Lord suffer in sheep dip! (Sheep dip meaning sheep poop. Incredulous, but for annoying things- like 'are you kidding me?')

Is there a piano tied to your ass? ('Don't be lazy, do it yourself')

Someone's cruising for a bruising. (You're picking a fight.)

I don't give a rat's rip. ('I don't care'- a rat's 'rip' is it's butt crack.)

Pull up a stump! (Get yourself a chair, sit down.)

Everybody out of the pool! (Get out of the car)

I'm flying by the seat of my pants. (I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it.)

Don't go blowing smoke up my ass. (Don't over-compliment me, don't flatter me, don't stroke my ego, don't tell me positive lies)

Looks like it's gonna rain on our parade. (A storm is coming.)

Sorry to rain on your parade. (I've given you bad news- can be used sincerely or sarcastically to denote sympathy for incurring a bad mood.)

Better button that lip. (Stop talking.)

Someone's gonna stick a boot up your ass. ('Stick a boot up your ass'- fight you, beat you, kick your ass.)

Stick that lip out any further, and a pigeon'll shit on it. (Stop whining.)

Suck it up, buttercup. (Stop whining.)

Dumber than a fence post. (Very stupid.)

The back forty. (The wild or forested area behind a rural home. The 'forty' being forty acres, or farmland.)

Don't go begging for a fat lip. (Whatever you're saying or doing is going to bother people and get you in trouble.)

What on God's green earth (What the fuck)

I'm sweating like a pig in a porta-potty (like a pig in a plastic outhouse- I'm very warm, it's hot here)

He thinks the universe flew out of his ass. (He thinks he's more impressive than he is.)

Your mouth wrote a cheque your ass couldn't cash. (You promised more than you were capable of providing.)

You've got a horseshoe up your ass. (You're very, very lucky.)

Taking a dirt nap. (Dead.)

Pushing (up) daisies. (Dead.)

Give me forty acres to turn this rig around. (I need time and space to move this large, heavy, or unwieldy thing. Usually about navigating a vehicle. Taken from a song lyric.)

Jesus take the wheel. (God help me, I can't handle this, I give up.)

Gone belly-up. (Has died.)

We've got a floater. (This one is dead.)

Herding cats. (Trying to organize chaos, managing an impossibly complicated situation.)

I've got a black thumb. (I am bad at growing plants, all my plants die- reference to having a 'green thumb', or being good at growing plants.)

Stop trackin' floor cookies. (Floor cookies are bits of animal shit that fall off your work boots- 'tracking floor cookies' means wearing your boots in the house; take your shoes off at the door.)

Running around like a headless chicken. (Frantic, disorganized, stressed out by many tasks or panicked by a big situation.)

Spinning my wheels. (Waiting around for something to happen, getting nowhere, frustrated by inactivity, not making any progress towards a goal.)

He's gonna blow a gasket. (He's going to lose his temper, he's going to be angry.)

They'll tan your hide. (They'll punish you severely; usually through violence. Specifically in reference to a spanking.)

He's a few bricks short a load. (He's not clever / he doesn't think things through / he's crazy)

Not the sharpest tool in the shed. (Not the smartest person. Very dumb, clumsy, or absent-minded.)

I'm not going to bail you out. (Not going to save your sinking boat- not going to help you out of your bad situation.)

Looks like things are going south. (The situation is growing worse.)

I'll start making tracks. (I'll leave now, I'll start working, I'll get going.)

He's fucking the dog. (He's not being productive, he's doing a bad job, he's made things worse, he's screwing around.)

He's making puppies. (Less graphic version of 'fucking the dog'.)

Plant your ass. (Sit.)

Playing grab-ass. (Procrastinating- accomplishing nothing, slowing people down.)

He couldn't find his ass in the dark. (He's stupid, ineffective, underqualified, or incompetent.)

He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. (He is unbelievably, comically dumb or ineffective. He can't do anything right.)

One foot in the ground. (Dying, or half-dead.)

I'm kicking rocks. (I'm not doing anything productive.)

I'm hauling ass. (I'm running away.)

Madder than a wet hen. (Very, very angry.)

Like I said I'm not sure that these are all idioms but they're all the phrases and sayings from my childhood that I can remember right now

EDIT: Cannot BELIEVE I forgot my mom's favourite

52. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets filled first. (Wishes don't come true by themselves)

Plus some more I forgot:

53. You make a better door than a window. (You're in the way of my view.)

54. You can take a long walk off a short pier. (Go fuck yourself.)

55. He's about as sharp as a bowling ball. (He's stupid.)

56. Scoot your poot. (Move over.)

57. Not my first rodeo. (I know what I'm doing.)

58. He's built like a brick shithouse. (He's broad and sturdy and very strong, solid.)

59. I smell bacon. (I saw a cop nearby.)

60. I don't want to hear a peep. (Stop talking.)

61. You're thinking with the wrong head. (You're making bad decisions because you're horny.)

62. I'd lose my ass/head if it wasn't tied on. (I'm very absent-minded, forgetful.)

63. That went down like a lead balloon. (That situation was bad.)

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Digital Display

you’re what i’ve been waiting for

synopsis// maybe it wasn’t your smartest idea to fall for the guy your friends introduced you to, who’s also trolling you online—but, in your defense, how were you supposed to know they’d end up being the same person?

status// finished!

updates// everyday unless said otherwise

warning// no curses!au, streamer!au, friends to lovers?, inumaki is just a strange strange silly (cringe) man and lowkey rich???, kys jokes bc comedy, and also rlly cringe and corny jokes bc comedy, n if anyone is ooc take that up with the universe not me!

☆ this smau wasn’t inspired by a song but the title was!! ‘twas inspired by digital display by ready for the world, but yeah besides the title and lyrics on here the song holds no relevance :) ☆

to raise my low score

so excuse me if i start to play

round 1. annoying x2

round 2. twinsies

round 3. desperate

round 4. why nobody gaf

round 5. gold digger

round 6. i keep it 99

round 7. ignorance is bliss

round 8. weakest link

round 9. not going well

round 10. i love science

round 11. biblically accurate angel

round 12. pucker up

round 13. normal and mildly responsible

round 14. just a coincidence

round 15. sleeper agent

round 16. one step ahead

round 17. big and greedy

round 18. strangers to lovers

round 19. poet

round 20. doing a bit

round 21. i rebuke you

round 22. taken care of

round 23. shaking in excitement

round 24. extremely nonchalant

round 25. i got you

round 26. hope not

round 27. get pranked

round 28. last hope

round 29. silent or silenced

round 30. 3 vs 2

round 31. step on it

round 32. romance is everywhere

round 33. sick work

round 34. do it scared

round 35. what are the odds

round 36. beautiful emo prince

round 37. why waste time

round 38. you or nothing

round 39. stay mad

round 40. romantical tension

round 41. normal human things

round 42. middle school relationship core

round 43. no pressure

round 44. government spy

round 45. troll a little

round 46. enjoying the view

round 47. the vibes

round 48. stop light

round 49. it’s so over

round 50. what about us

round 51. we’re good right?

round 52. i no no wanna

round 53. FINISH HIM

round 54. gtg

round 55. GET OFF STREAM

round 56. keep up

last round. falling for me again

[twostepstyless]

lovie don’t stress yourself out by overworking yourself! we’ll love whatever you write, whenever you write it. let yourself rest for an hour with a cuppa tea and a few biscuits, before going back to it! don’t give yourself burnout :(( xxxx

Ah my angel :( I needed this tonight, was so close to being on time, only a short 9 minutes late, it is what it is lmao! Thank you for this beautiful <3 I’m now off to read day 1 of your fanficmas! I’ve been saving it since it was posted to read after I got mine finished tonight, lots of love to you, precious xxx

[ncttytrack]

Hi can you write about y/n’s first time giving blowjob to jake (who’s a fuckboy) and jake will be so turned on on how innocent y/n is, guiding her on how to suck his dick right. And jake is thrilled at the idea of being able to fuck a virgin mouth and so in the end he fucks her hard til she pass out🤤😫🥵👅😵‍💫 jake hard dom!!!!!!!

IM SORRY IT JUST DOESNT LEAVE MY MIND😭 Please make it happen 🥺

Daaamn. Fuckboy Jake is soooo 🤤

Let me guide you - s.j

If only you knew the amount of times he jerked off to the thought of being your first everything, first time sucking someones dick, first time having sex, first time letting someone take over you.

Fuckboy!Jake x virgin!reader

Words: 1.3k+

Warnings: size kink, virginity kink (duh), Dom!Jake, Sub!reader, choking, reader passing out, Jake is ruthless

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨

Your soft knees are standing on the hard floor, making your knees hurt and bruised. His hand is on your head, playing with your hair, before tugging it harshly, earning a crying whine from you. You don't really know how to explain how you got in this position, on your knees in front of the school's biggest fuckboy Jake Sim. Easily described, he lyingly said he wanted help with his math homework, wanting you to help him out. Since you are a saint, not knowing the lie behind his words, you gladly helped.

He had used this tactic on a lot of girls before, but was still surprised when it worked on you. How innocent were you really, when you naively made your way to his house, into his own bedroom, wearing the tiniest skirt and the cutest sweater. By now, he would've thought you had heard the rumors about him, and also noticed his massive boner hiding under his gray sweats.

You had tutored him for five minutes before he started toying with your inner thigh, making you yelp. And after ten more minutes with his teasing touch, you were on your knees in front of him. The way he looks down on you, leaning back against the sofa with his legs spread wide, pants down, is making him too hot for you to handle. The position is making you come eye to eye with his hard cock, being able to see the preecum leeking out from the tip.

His tongue is licking his bottom lip, "Have you ever done this before, darling?" He says, already knowing the answer. Your breaths are already heavy, looking up at him with innocent eyes. If he didn't hold himself back, he would just cum by looking at your cute face, unaware of what's about to come.

"No, Jakey" You say, looking away with flushed cheeks, embaressed that you had never had sex before, not even seen a cock until now. Jake takes a deep breath, using his grip on your head to make you look at him again. He gulps down his salivia, drooling at the thought of fucking a virgin mouth. Your virgin mouth.

Any since he saw you in school, he knew you were a virgin, or at least hoped. If only you knew the amount of times he jerked off to the thought of being your first everything, first time sucking someones dick, first time having sex, first time letting someone take over you. That's when he came up with the smartest plan, to make you tutor him. He knew that you were naive enough to help him, naive enough to not know what he actually wanted from you.

"You want me to guide you, baby?" He says, a hand still on your head. You nod your head nervously, looking at his cock again before grabbing it with your hand. He is thick, and long, and you try to calculate how it's going to fit inside your mouth. You had heard from your friends that you are supposed to jerk it off before sucking it, so that's what you did. But it was hard, not enough preecum for your hand to glide up and down his length, making him hiss in pain. He stops you, "You need to spit on it, baby". You feel disgusting when you spit on his cock, watching it glide down his member, the sight making your pussy soaked.

"Now lick the tip before wrapping your lips around it mhm" Jake says, still looking at your small figure trying to pleasure his cock. You follow his orders, licking the tip of his cock, making his head tilt back against the sofa. He lets out a small groan at the feeling of your wet tongue coming in contact with his aching cock. Seeing how your actions made him feel, made you want to pleasure him more, wrapping your lips around the tip.

"Now go slow, up and down, baby" You suck him real good for your first time, swirling your tongue around his length while sucking him, using your hands to jerk of the length that doesen't fit in your mouth. You clench your thighs at the feeling of Jake's cock in your mouth, and the way he so caringly guides you to suck him just the way he wants you to.

"Fuck just like that, bunny" Jake tries to hold back, the only thing he wants is to be as harsh to you as he is to everyone else. He is trying his hardest not to thrust his hips into your mouth, making his length go down your throat. But when your mouth starts to work up and down its length at a faster pase, he can't hold back anymore.

Both of his hands grab the back of your head, thrusting his cock deep down your throat over and over again. He wants to close his eyes out of pleasure, but he needs to look at you while he fucks your mouth. Your eyes are glued to him, drol is coming out your lips, adding the extra lubricant which makes it feel just right.

He eyes look down at your thighs, seeing them clench together, oh how wet you were from sucking his cock. His hands leave your head, grabbing your shoulder to pull you away from his length. He grabs your waist, using his strength to lift up your entire body before throwing you on the sofa.

He lifts up your skirt, seeing your drenched pink panties. Just seeing that makes him hard again. "Aw, baby, you are completely soaked!" He says, looking down at you with a teasing grin. He lifts up your legs and leans them on his shoulders so he can see more of you, using his finger to gently touch your pussy outside of your panties. You let out a loud whine at the feeling of his long fingers coming in contact with your wet core. "Plase, Jakey-"

As much he wanted to tease you, to make you a pleading mess for his touch, the sound of his name coming from your lips makes him insane. He rips off your panties, making him able to see your glistering hole, waiting to be ripped apart by his hard cock.

You look up at him with a worried expression. Your eyebrows furrowed, biting your bottom lip. "What if you are too big? What if I can't take it". He bites his lips trying to hold back his laughter at your statement. "Oh I know you can take it bunny, m' gonna fuck you so good, make my baby feel so, so, good"

And that's what he does. With a hand on your stomach, pushing you further down against the sofa, and with the other around your calf keeping you in place, he thrusts his cock into you. "Fuuuck, you feel so good, baby, taking my cock so well" He tries to hold himself back, to let your clenching, tight, hole adjust to his massive size, but he simply can't. He sees completely red, the way the tears are streaming down your face, and how desperately loud your moans are, is making it impossible for him not to pound himself into you.

Jake's thrusts never slow down, and with a hand on your neck, he rams into you, hard. Your head begins to feel light headed because of the pleasure and his grip. And, If he would choose, he would never stop, always wanting to have his cock inside your warm, virgin, pussy. And he fucks you, and fucks you, fucks you so hard til his cum leaks out of your pussy. He doesn’t stop, making you pass out with his still cock inside of you.

When you wake up, Jake is hugging you from behind, his cock still being inside of you. His hands have a firm grip on your waist, making sure you don't leave him. His plump lips are kissing your neck, whispering sweet nothings by your ear. "You were so good for me, baby, I could stay like this forever"

[buckyalpine]

Needy Bucky x CEO reader

Filth and nothing else.

Imagine Bucky jerking off watching you get ready in the morning. You're up before him, hair styled while sitting at the vanity applying your make up when his eyes flutter open. He looks adorable with his fluffy hair messy from sleep, face cuddled up in the pillow but the second his eyes land on you, you know his thoughts are anything but innocent.

"Good morning handsome" You coo, looking at him over your shoulder before going back to getting ready, giggling to yourself over the huff he lets out.

"Baby, m'so hard right now" He groaned, a hint of a whine in his voice as he watched you swipe your lipstick across your lips.

"Bucky" your voice is a warning, knowing damn well that he hardly has to beg, you're just as needy as he is but you can't give into him this morning.

"S'not fair. Can't you come here and suck it a little" He almost pouts and you consider giving in, teasing him with your tongue but you have back to back meetings scheduled and you know you can't be late.

"I can’t baby, I don’t have time" You swirl your brush around your powder, dappling it onto your cheek and the action makes Bucky's cock throb.

"Fine, then let me enjoy the view" He shrugged, throwing the bed sheet off, letting you see his achingly hard cock straining against his briefs.

"You wouldn’t" You looked at him through the mirror feeling your own panties dampen. He smirked, lifting his hips up to pull down his briefs, tossing them aside and spreading his legs wide, his arm propped under his head while his other hand trailed down his body, squeezing around the base of his thick cock.

“Oh fuck baby” He moaned watching you dab gloss to the center of your lips before slipping your robe off leaving you in just your bra and panties, sauntering off into the closet to put on your skirt and blazer. He gave himself long languid strokes, careful to touch himself slowly so he could take his time admiring you.

"You look so pretty" His voice was a whisper as you emerged, sucking in a breath when you bent over to slip on your panty hose, beads of precum dribbling down his shaft. "The things I'd do to you when you're bent over like that, fuck me"

Bucky's lip was caught between his teeth, abs tensed as his mind started to wander while twisting his hand rhythmically around the head of his cock.

"You want me to visit you in your office today baby?" He smirked, noting your thighs clenching together, desperate for some type of friction. "I can be a good boy for you, y'know"

"A-and how's that" You tried to keep your voice steady but Bucky made it impossible.

"Anything you like angel. I'd be happy to just stroke my cock to you all day, wouldn't disturb you baby. Just let me sit on that couch of yours and watch my pretty baby work, would make my cock bust so fast. I'd touch myself just like this, you have no idea how hard I get for you doll"

The thought of getting to be in your office sets off a chain of dirty thoughts and he lets you know every single one.

"Or I can get on my knees for you. Right under your desk. Pull that little skirt up and take those panties off, nurse on that pretty clit of yours, help you relax"

"You have no idea what I'd give to sit on your table and stroke myself while you sit at your desk, fucking hell, I'd make such a mess"

"Cover your table with my cream, let your office know how sexy you are. Do you have any idea how perfect you are, doll"

His eyes close for a moment, head lulling to the side between whimpers and moans because he's on cloud nine. You're the prettiest, sweetest, smartest person he knows and he gets to love you, hold you, fucking lie in bed and just touch himself to you like a horny little boy and you let him.

You're everything to him and more.

"My balls are throbbing right now baby, they're so fuckin' full" He threw his head back, chest heaving, eyes now focused on you while his thighs tensed.

"God, I want those over my shoulders" He panted while you slipped your heels on, his mind now thinking about being balls deep in you while you wear nothing but your perfect black heels.

"I'm gonna cum, fuck, m'gonna cum for you baby" his hips squirmed against the bed, rutting and thrusting upwards into his fist while you sprayed your perfume, the combination of how you looked and smelled too much for him. You took one final look in the mirror, not a strand of hair out of place, sauntering over to your needy boyfriend, his skin slick in a sheen of sweat.

"You like that you see baby?" You cooed while he nodded, looking at you with glassy eyes, jerking himself faster.

"You're so beautiful, I can't-" He lets out a choked sob when you remove his hand away from his throbbing length, nearly crying when you carefully take him into your mouth.

"Baby what are you-baby y-you can't, I'll fuckin' bust till it drips and spills out your mouth, fuck- OH FUCKKKK I'm gonna cum for you!" You wrapped your lips around the head of his cock, letting your tongue swipe across his leaking slit, your mouth instantly filled with ropes of his thick cum, endlessly shooting down your throat. You swallow everything with ease, lipstick still perfectly in place, makeup un-smudged.

Bucky let out a needy whimper, spurts of cum still dribbling out as you pulled off him, his hand firmly gripping onto the sheets while you come up to him and run your fingers through his tousled hair.

"Good boy" You caressed his scruffy cheek, pecking his lips once more before getting up and heading out the door. Bucky licked his hips, tasting remnants of himself, eyes growing wide when you looked over before locking the door.

"Come by later if you're not busy"

He would.

He definitely would.

[reidelight]

Wake Up Call

summary: when the heat breaks down at the hotel you’re staying at, you suggest sharing a bed with spencer to keep warm throughout the night

genre: a twinge of smut and fluff

cw: 18+ MDNI, gn!reader, afab!reader, pet names (darling, love, pretty boy), slight sub!spencer if you squint hard enough, mutual pining, fade to black sex

wc: 1.8k

note: hi! this is my first fic on here :) there's def potential for a part two if y'all want it. enjoy!

You regretted not bringing a sweater to sleep in. 

While it made complete sense that the weather cooled as the sun went down, you couldn’t help but complain as the cheap motel informed you all that the heating was unfortunately down in some of the rooms. Ever the lucky ones, you and Spencer stepped foot into your shared room and are welcomed with a deceptively kind wall of chilly air.

“You’d think that with all the BAU does on a daily basis, we’d get a decent room to hunker down in,” you huff, setting down your duffle bag on the farther bed.

“Just you wait until you feel the thickness of the duvet,” Spencer chimes in, which results in a dramatic sigh falling from your lips.

It was only a matter of time before you had suggested sharing a bed to gather as much heat as possible. Seeing as Spencer was a walking heater, it made perfect sense when he crawled into your bed and even more so when you huddled close together.

Despite the good doctor’s opinions on the amount of germs passed through physical contact, he found that you bypassed any and every one of those thoughts. Simply put, he didn’t mind your germs. After the three years you two had worked together at the BAU, Spencer had developed a bit of a soft spot for you, and you for him. 

“Pretty boy,” Morgan smirked as he watched you enter with Spencer, treats in hand and the brightest smiles on your respective faces. “About time you two got together.”

“What?” Spencer squeaked, the heat rising to his cheeks. “No, they just brought me a coffee this morning.”

“Just you?” Derek turns to you, “What about me? I like coffee too, and don’t get me started on donuts.”

“So does the rest of the team, and everyone else in this office building. I can’t exactly afford enough for everyone,” you laugh, taking a seat at your desk.

“Not my fault the coffee machine broke down and maintenance hasn’t gotten around to fixing the damn thing,” Morgan groaned, tilting his head back.

“I’ll bring you one tomorrow, but it’s going on the company card,” you reply, flashing a smile to Morgan.

“Not a chance,” Hotch says as he passes through the bullpen.

Your conversation faded away as Spencer set up his desk far from your own. He couldn’t help but stare at the little heart drawn next to his name on the cup. You were his best friend, but he couldn’t help but allow his heart to flutter at the prospect of something more. Of course, he had weighed the pros and cons of asking you out, but ultimately decided it wasn’t the smartest idea. 

It was all around bad timing. You had just gotten out of a rough relationship and swore off dating for the time being. Spencer watched as men and women alike pursued you each time you’d gone out on BAU bonding nights. It made perfect sense. You were the most beautiful person Spencer had laid his eyes on, of course other people would see that too. 

Spencer had done his best not to let the idea of you in relations with another get to his head. Hell, he had spent so long trying to push away his own feelings for you. It’s not like workplace relationships were prohibited– Penelope and Kevin’s relationship was given nothing but support from the beginning. To him, there was simply no way that you would ever see him in that light. 

Apparently he had been wrong, specifically about what kind of feelings you had for him.

When he had woken up in the middle of the night, Spencer found that the blood not only rushed to his cheeks at the state of your position, but to his crotch as well. You had unknowingly curled up against his front, your head tucked underneath his chin, legs tangled together. 

For a moment, Spencer stopped breathing. You were so calm, completely unaware of the lewd thoughts running throughout his head. He felt ashamed for wanting to pull you closer and hear your sickly sweet voice moan his name. 

“Y/N? Wake up, I’m sorry,” Spencer mumbled, trying to wake you.

Instead of opening your eyes, you had moved impossibly closer to his body, placing pressure onto his already aching cock. Spencer winced, simultaneously cursing and thanking whatever god above that allowed this to happen.

“Darling, I need you to wake up,” Spencer shook you again, sighing in relief once he saw your eyes flutter open.

“Was there another murder? What’s going on?” you grumbled, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“You really shouldn’t be rubbing your eyes like that. It increases the possibility of small scratches on your cornea, leading to redness, light sensitivity, and irritation,” Spencer spits out, trying his best to evade his evident nervousness.

“I just know you didn’t wake me up to tell me that,” You were slightly more awake now, still unaware of your (in Spencer’s opinion) compromised position.

“I’m sorry, I just need to get up,” Spencer rushed out, gesturing to your proximity. “Right now, preferably. I-I’m so sorry.”

Eyes wide, you shuffle away from him, apologizing profusely for moving around in your sleep. In your defense, the beds weren’t exactly the roomiest, and definitely not built for two people to sleep in comfortably at once. And he was just... so warm.

Spencer scrambled to get out of your shared bed, doing his best to cover his crotch with his hands. Already embarrassed enough, he finds himself bolting to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He rubs his hands on his face, ignoring the statement he’d spat out to you minutes prior. 

Unbeknownst to him, you had noticed his evident hard on as his lanky figure stumbled into the adjoined bathroom. Knowing your history, you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t think of the prospect of a hypothetical relationship blossoming between you two. Before you could overthink the idea, you found yourself following his lead and stopping at the door of the bathroom.

“Spence?” you knock gently, trying to listen for any movement beyond the door. “Are you okay?”

“Yep!” he replied rather quickly.

“It’s completely okay, you know. You shouldn’t be ashamed for… that,” you say softly.

“Can we please forget about it? This is highly inappropriate, and I truly am sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, Spence. Who said I wanted to forget?” Spencer feels his breath fall short. “Can you let me in, love?”

How could he even begin to say no to you?

Unlocking the door, you’re greeted with a disheveled looking Spencer, cheeks flushed a deep scarlet. 

“What’s going on there, pretty boy?” you begin, taking a step closer to him.

“Look, I’m really sorry about this. I really didn’t mean to,” he begins, “W-what are you doing?” his voice falters to a whisper, afraid to speak any louder.

You placed your hands onto his wrists, gently pulling them away from his middle, allowing the view of his clothed erection on display.

“You really have nothing to be embarrassed of, Spence,” you smile, socking your head to the side. “Do you need some help taking care of that?”

“I-I couldn’t ask you to do that,” he mumbled.

“Why not? We’re friends, yeah?” Letting go of his wrists, you bring your hands to rest around his neck.

Spencer nods, instinctively putting his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him. 

“And friends help each other out,” he groans, shutting his eyes. “Say the word and I’ll stop. I’d never want to make you uncomfortable.”

“No!” he exclaims, gripping your hips tighter. “I’m just nervous.”

“Of what, darling? It’s only me,” you pause, holding his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. “You have done this before, right?”

“Minimally, yes, but it's not just that. This could change everything. I don’t want to lose you as a friend if anything goes wrong. A-and the team! How are we going to explain any of this to them?” Spencer rambles, trying to avoid your gaze.

“We are the ones in control of this. It’s really our own prerogative to figure it all out. Either way, you’re still my best friend,” your voice fades away, lips pursing at all the thoughts running through your head.

“I am? I thought Penny was?” he spoke just above a whisper. 

“Of course you’re my best friend, dummy. You make it difficult to not love you.”

What? Spencer’s jaw drops, struggling to process the words spilling out of your mouth.

“I can understand if you don’t feel the same way–” your sentence is cut off by soft lips pressing against yours.

Following his lead, you kiss him back just as eagerly. Spencer hums into your mouth as you gently tug at the roots of his hair. You took this as a chance to slip your tongue against his, nipping at his bottom lip. He was desperate, unable to get enough of the taste of your lips. Pulling you taut against his body, you let out a shaky moan feeling his erection press against your belly.

“March 13, 2011,” he says, taking a breath. “Exactly two months after you joined the team, you didn’t seem like yourself. You were really in your head, not even Penelope could cheer you up. It also happens to be the day I worked up the courage to invite you over to mine for some wine and movies to take your mind off everything.”

You hum, taking a pause to press a short kiss to his lips. “Yeah, I remember that. It was the first time we had hung out outside the office.”

“It took every fiber in my being to not kiss you while wine drunk,” he laughs, toying with the hem of your shirt. “I think that’s the day I realized that I fell in love with you.”

“Oh, Spence,” you coo, brushing the hair from his eyes. “I probably would’ve kissed you back.”

“You’d just broken up with your partner. I couldn’t do that to you. I wanted to be a safe place, not just some guy that wanted to get in your pants.”

“I’d like to think that both those statements can exist at once.”

Spencer purses his lips, trying to hide his smile. His heart was beating out of his chest. He’d never felt lighter than he did right now.

“What do you think about letting me help with this, hm?” Spencer moans as your hands travel down his body, hovering just above his bulge.

“I don’t think we can just be friends after this,” he whispers, leaning into your touch.

“Sounds like a plan.”

[incorrectbatfam]

batfam members being the smartest and dumbest person in the room at the same time

Damian: Here's the plan: we wait for your mother to put the pie on the windowsill to cool. Then, I'll spoof a call to her work phone in order to draw her away. That's when you come in and take it. Are we clear?

Jon: *walks up to Lois*

Jon: Mom, can Damian and I have a piece of pie?

Lois: Of course, here you go.

———————

Cullen: I tripped over my shoelaces again.

Harper: I can make self-tying shoelaces that can only come apart when you use a password-protected app.

Cullen: ...I was just thinking of wearing velcro.

———————

Duke: Check out my project! Not to brag, but I think I know who's winning the science fair.

Izzy: What is it?

Duke: It's a chamber that excites nanoparticles to generate short-term high-intensity thermal energy that can alter organic matter to make them suitable for human consumption. What do you think?

Izzy: Funny, I have one at home. Only I call it a microwave.

———————

Dinah and Babs: *talking*

Dinah: One sec, I'm getting a call.

Dinah: *answers her phone*

Dinah, immediately hanging up: Never mind.

Barbara: Was your number leaked? I have a list of possible suspects and plans for dealing with each one.

Dinah: Relax, it was just spam.

———————

Bernard, with a mic: Welcome back to MasterChef: Young Justice. We're down to our finalists, Red Robin and Spoiler. Let's see what they brought us today.

Tim: I made a nutrient-dense mass-conserving meal replacement with all essential components compressed in a gelatinous cube for a quick, on-the-go meal during our off-world missions. I'm serving it with a protein shake served in a vacuum-sealed pouch made completely out of recycled materials.

Steph: I made authentic Belgian waffles using techniques dating back to the 1958 Brussels World Fair. I'm serving it with a warm Swiss chocolate ganache, Japanese white strawberries, and homemade ube powdered sugar. For a drink, we have a cappuccino made with fair-trade Colombian dark roast beans and milk sourced from local farmers.

Kon, Bart, and Cassie: *taste and discuss*

Kon: You're both eliminated.

Tim and Steph: What?!

Cassie: Red Robin, the point of this competition is to showcase taste and culinary artistry, not just your engineering skills.

Bart: And Spoiler, you were supposed to make soup.

———————

Cass: *sneaks out her room*

Cass: *rolls down the hall*

Cass: *jumps over the couch*

Cass: *crawls through the vents*

Cass: *climbs down the rafters*

Cass: *slides down a gas pipe into the Batcave*

Cass: *lands in front of the door*

———————

Dick: I'll infiltrate the Iceberg Lounge with my state-of-the-art wearable camouflage that uses reverse psychology to throw all suspicions off of me by catching people's attention in a completely different way.

Jason: Pfft, lame. You should check out my latest tech. It's a potassium nitrate–based mixture that can be activated with a built-in timer to both create a diversion and incapacitate more of the Penguin's cronies at once.

Dick: That's stupid. We need to be subtle.

Jason: No, what we need is efficiency.

Dick: Roy, what do you think?

Roy, looking up from his phone: I think one of you wants to dress in drag and the other made a bomb.

———————

Bruce: I need the kids to steer clear of Crime Alley tonight so I can deal with a situation but I don't want to bench them because then they'll be mad at me. Any ideas?

Alfred: Give them paperwork.

Selina: Send them on a wild goose chase.

Kate: Get them to bench themselves.

Renee: Wow.

Renee: You all suck.