#not like ozzies goons are there because they want to be

[wishfulsketching]

@pastxl-ghxst suggested nygmobs wedding

Not that extravagant (sorry), maybe the after party is (their biggest heist yet?) but at least Ed got a one (1) guest (poor lucius)

[showtoonzfan]

Now that the episode is out officially, here’s my rant review of Oops!

PROS:

- Fizz and Ozzie were adorable and I honestly love them. Despite the sex jokes, you can tell they love each other for who they are OUTSIDE of sex. While I did wish we would have seen more, (like how Ozzie took him in and fell in love) they’re still adorable to watch. They’re the better version of Stolitz, can the show be about them instead?

- Brandon’s voice acting holy shit, he really knows how to sound like he’s in tears or is broken. As much as I hate the character and feel no sympathy, he displayed genuine and broken emotion very well.

- Alex Brightman Alex Brightman

Okay that’s it. Moving on to the Cons. Bear with me, it’s a lot and I go back and forth a bit. 😭

CONS:

So for a quick short summary, this episode:

- Once again puts more focus on the filler plot rather than actually focusing on the relationships between the characters, so all we're left with is a 10 second clip of Fizz being burned while the rest of the episode is surrounded on sex jokes/petty bickering and Stolas and Ozzie sitting around.

- Completely erases what made Blitz and Fizz's dynamic interesting in the first place because it retcons it with a dumb miscommunication trope about how Fizz actually wanted to see Blitz and Blitz tried reaching out to him. Not only does this feel like a cheap attempt to make Blitz out to be sweet/sympathetic and NOT the one in the wrong so Fizz can suck up to him, but this also makes no sense within the narrative.

- Has Fizz forgive Blitz despite him being the last person anyone would think would forgive him. (So honestly ruins Fizz himself because it turned him into a soft boy who's forgiving compared to the asshole he was in Ozzie's) All because Viv would sell her whole soul before she even remotely considers painting characters like Blitz and Stolas out to be the one's in the wrong.

- Takes Stolas out of the hospital completely, erasing all the drama/tension Western Energy had and proves that that episode was utterly pointless.

- Turns Striker from an interesting complex villain to a Saturday morning cartoon goon.

- Proves to us that Crimson is just a flat tool and gives us more prove that the world building rules Viv set up in season 1 legit don't matter.

-Ruins Blitz/Barbie's feud now because now you're making Barbie look like the one in the wrong since the fire was an accident. God forbid a female characters emotions in this show are justified.

But if you want my more in depth rants, it’s under the cut! (There’s a lot so bear with me lol)

- As usual WAAY too many sex jokes and swearing. It gets annoying and repetitive at times and some of them distract from the main plot. There’s a long and I mean LONNG dragged out joke of Fizz talking about Ozzie’s dick, then later saying he’s hard when Striker has a gun to his head, as well as Blitz making a joke about him and Fizz making out once they hug. Again, Viv can’t be serious for 2 seconds without an unfunny shitty gag. I genuinely wonder if Hazbin is ganna be like this, where a character is in a life threatening situation or a deep dark serious scene happens only for the next scene to be sex related.

- This is one of those “shit happens because the plot demands it” and it shows. Crimson and Striker COINCIDENTLY meet up with each other, and Fizz and Blitz just so HAPPEN to be in the same exact area they are. Viv wonders why we call her shit a fanfic and this is what we mean, when she creates wild wacky plots and focuses more on THAT rather than the actual character writing. This entire episode hinges on a useless poorly last minute planned kidnapping plot that didn’t need to happen. Also way to once again make the characters idiots so the plot can happen, cause Fizz KNOWS Ozzie worries for him and that the Greed Ring is dangerous, yet purposefully puts the spotlight on him.

- Stolas did NOT need to be in this episode. The plot completely ignores the fact that he was in the hospital the last time we saw him, and he’s only here for Stolitz banter. You’d think that a character admitting they have feelings for someone would be a big deal but he just flat out says it and it’s so underwhelming and feels half assed with no weight to it. Fan comics have made more dedication to this than Viv has. We're supposed to believe him too despite the show failing to actually SHOW us this. Same for Blitz ranting about how “nice” Stolas has been to him, laughing at his jokes and liking his posts…hey Viv, can we actually SEE that on screen so it’s more believable? Or are you only determined to show them sexually flirting? 😑

- Once again Viv felt the need to shove a B plot into this episode and this one sucks because it’s just two characters sitting and doing fucking nothing. It felt like Viv had no idea what to do with Stolas and Ozzie, and I refuse to believe that Ozzie just sat there knowing Fizz was in danger. If anything he would have said “fuck the paperwork” and went to save Fizz himself. Way to show that gif of Ozzie getting mad as a sneak peak to get fans excited, only to see that Ozzie spends the rest of the episode sitting in a dark room LMAO what a let down.

- Ozzie is weirdly chill and cool with Stolas and it’s something I don’t get. While he did say that Stolas had the real “spirit of Lust” in S1E7, it still gave you the impression that he was also more poking fun at Stolas rather than respecting him. The whole point of House of Asmodeous was that Ozzie outs him and publicly embarrassed him. Stolas literally was intimidated just by Asmodeous’s mere name, and hid his face around him. It seemed like Stolas certainly didn’t want someone like Ozzie to know about his private life especially since they’re both part of the Ars Goetia. Now here Ozzie is just cool with him and it feels like a missed opportunity for their dynamic.

- Stolas confessing his feelings about Blitz also makes…no sense narrative wise. I thought the whole point of The Circus and the ending to Western Energy was that he was realizing that Blitz didn’t like him that way and was finally waking up. I thought that’s why he was doing this whole crystal deal in the first place, so he can let Blitz go, yet the show keeps flip flopping and insisting that these two love each other and are good for each other. It’s really making you realize how this season and the previous stuff set up is becoming nonsense because the writers retcon EVERY damn episode. Also….why the hell is Stolas telling Ozzie his feelings for Blitz? Out of all people, why is it Ozzie, the person who outed Stolas and embarrassed him. Why is Stolas even respectful of Ozzie? He has no reason to, and he’s not under the impression that he’s dating Fizz either. I get that he needs the crystal but mentioning his love for Blitz makes no sense.

- Striker and Crimson teaming up to kidnap Blitz and Fizz was such an ass puller last minute decision. It feels overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time, more because it feels like Viv has no idea what to do with these two villain characters other than give them something evil to do to start the plot. Also…why…are they working together? It feels so random.

- Striker’s character especially is all over the place. First he’s working for Stella, then he’s painted as the best assassin in hell, and now he’s…looking for more work I guess and working for Crimson? Why? Does this guy even have a motive anymore? It feels like his character is just dangling around until Viv wants to use him for another wattpad kidnap plot and it ESPECIALLY shows when Striker escapes for the THIRD fucking time. Can this character/storyline actually GO somewhere or are you just going to keep introducing him and have him run away. 🤦🏽‍♀️

— How did Crimson not know who Striker is despite him being labeled as “the most popular assassin in hell”, and how the hell does Crimson know Ozzie and know all the information about him being in a relationship with Fizz?? Oh right because we needed the plot to happen somehow. Still, even if Crimson did know that Ozzie was the "weakest" and loved Fizz, (which….what about Beezlebub?)) he still should have known he was playing with fire. I get that he's supposed to be evil and intimidating but how could he have predicted that Ozzie would actually stand down and fill out the paperwork? He could have immediately came there and killed Crimson for all he knew. It's just distracting how..not planned this shit was.

- Fuck this episode for calling Striker a supremacist. It makes no sense?? Viv is trying SO hard to villainize him despite him being the one in the right and it pisses me off. He has every right to be mad at the upper class, he’s part of the lower class that we’re said Hell takes advantage of, but god forbid we call out Rich and powerful Stolas because that would mean he’s a b-bad person and we can’t have that complex morality! This is so not a “eat the rich” story and it shows bc Vivzie is rich as hell. Striker as a character deserves so much better man. Congrats writers, you had an interesting character and motive set up for him, now he’s nothing but a silly goon that you might as well kill off already cause you clearly don’t care about him. Crimson meanwhile is just a piece of paper, a boring plot device I could give less of a shit about. I thought his motive was to go after Moxxie, now he’s just doing fuck whatever because this show desperately wants a bad guy for their filler fanfic plots.

- We get more world building issues, Ozzie and Fizz are so determined to hide their relationship for obvious reasons, but then at the end of the episode just say “fuck it, no one would dare tell anyway”. So now they’re being open about their relationship and lmao I told y’all the newspaper scene of Ozzie being called out for being a hypocrite wouldn’t go anywhere. Even if Ozzie did threaten his workers to not tell, they can’t be so sure that someone wouldn’t see or snitch, it’s kinda a retcon too cause they were pretty lovey dovey in Ozzie’s. Still, it makes the characters look dumb and it makes the rules Viv set up for Hell once again not mean anything.

- We finally get to see Fizz’s backstory in action and it’s executed in the most underwhelming way possible. It’s literally a fucking 10 second clip of what went down, and rather than experiencing the event for ourselves, it’s in flashback mode but with Fizz’s voice talking over it. That’s it. I’ve seen fan comics/fanart that built this shit up better than Viv did, that actually took the slow time and dedication it needed, and here it feels like such an afterthought, like Viv could care less. Maybe if this actually was a character driven show like Viv claims, Stolas, Striker, and Crimson would be taken out of the picture and then that would leave us with PLENTY time to actually explore and develop Blitz/Fizz, bc most of this episode is just them pettily bickering and Stolas and Ozzie sitting around. But nah, we gatta have our fanfic kidnapping plot. Same goes for the reveal of Blitzo’s mom dying in the same fire. Glad to know that she got the same treatment Moxxie’s mom did, where we don’t even know her and yet we’re supposed to feel moved and care about her death. You nailed that one Viv. 👍

- I predicted that this episode would victimize Blitz and have the fire incident be an accident, (because Viv is a pussy writer and can’t make her characters actually do bad things like god forbid) but I never thought they’d actually have the balls to have Fizz forgive Blitz immediately in the same episode and pull the “actually turns out that horrible thing you did to me helped me in a way”- trope. Biggest flaw of the episode, fuck you Viv. I was actually going to applaud Blitz for taking accountability, but then the dialogue reminds you that an abuser wrote this, and he shifts his apology to “okay but I lost something too see so it’s not all about you” as if he’s fucking dismissing Fizz’s trauma and making it about himself. “I love flawed characters” my fucking ass. I would have smacked a bitch if I was Fizz because Blitzo loosing his mother in the fire too isn’t an excuse?? Fizz lost his fucking ARMS AND LEGS, and at the end of the day Blitzo STILL KNEW HE WAS HELPLESS IN THE FIRE BUT LEFT HIM BEHIND. He could have gotten help and came back, but didn’t. If this were a good show Fizz would have threw that apology back in Blitzo’s face and said “I don’t care if it was an accident or not, you still left me there and then proceeded to loathe me for years”. This is why Helluva will never be Bojack cause at least characters in that show who got treated horribly by him knew when to say “no, fuck you.”

- The episode retcons again, this time they make it out to be that Blitz TRIED contacting Fizz the years they were apart but no one would let him see him. Then they say that Fizz actually WANTED to see Blitz but assumed he didn’t want to, so their entire feud was solely because of miscommunication?? Number one, show don’t fucking tell omg. And number two, that makes ZERO sense. Blitz talked badly about Fizz in Loo Loo Land, and when they finally reunited in Ozzie’s, it was clear they fucking loathed each other. You got the impression that Blitz was petty and jealous just because Fizz was more popular, and Fizz not only loathed him for the accident, but liked to rub in his face about how much of a big shot he was. They literally do that in this episode too, so the episode is literally contradicting itself. Blitz and Fizz had multiple chances to meet up with each other, you can’t just say “oh they couldn’t because no one would let them”- So which is it? Did they hate each other because of bad blood, petty drama, or that they thought the other didn’t want to see them? Pick ONE Viv and stick to it, but she never does. Their feud was interesting and now you ruined it just to have some sweet happy ending. “Adult mature show” my ass lol.

-Bottom line is Fizz shouldn’t have forgave Blitz so easily, or forgave him period. I find it funny how he says “it’s hard to just forgive you” and then he literally does lol. I feel so bad for Fizz fans, him and Blitz’s feud was honestly interesting, so to see all of this go down in a half-assed piss poor way as if this was Care Bears is….wow. The fan interpretations had more thought and care put into this storyline but what else is new lol.

- I’m really tired of these shitty annoying songs. If you’re going to get Broadway actors, please put effort into your songwriting and actually have them sing something good, not something that’s literally nonsense. This Fizz song sounds like it took less than a minute to write and Sam Haft was just thinking of anything he could think of at the top of his head. Also Why the fuck are Striker and Crimson just STANDING there while Fizz sings. They look like idiots, just SHOOT them omg. If this were a funny show, Fizz would have started his first note and Crimson just rolls his eyes and pulls his gun out.

- Fizz and Ozzie kill the lawyer but not…Crimson? Despite Fizz knowing what ring he’s in and even Ozzie knowing what he looks like? Same for Blitz, he doesn’t try to make sure Striker is dead. I get that the plot demands for these two to still be around, but there’s a way to keep them alive without making the main characters look like fucking idiots. Also Stolas just leaves without doing or contributing anything to the plot yay.

- Fizz: “Let him have it, you could say he’s earned it”— Uhm….Nope. Blitz did NOT earn shit. He didn’t even earn Fizz’s forgiveness. Last time I checked, the moment Blitz cried and said it was an accident, Fizz forgave him, knowing he didn’t mean it. What effort did Blitz do to “earn” that as well as the crystal? Because he saved Fizz and didn’t leave him behind for the SECOND time near the end?? Cause if so than the bar is extremely low. That’s the bare minimum, just because Blitz cried and felt bad about it doesn’t mean he should be let off the hook Viv. I hate this so much, what a shitty conclusion, it feels forced just so Blitz can have the crystal and just so the writers can once again paint him as the one in the right. It’s almost insulting that they make it seem like Fizz was in the wrong for assuming Blitz starting the fire too, same for Barbie.

God what a shitty day it is to be a Fizz fan, I’m sorry. The episode did NOT do him justice. Fizzarolli deserved better than that half assed gaslighting apology for someone who lost their arms and legs man, and I’m tired of the show letting every character suck up to Blitz and Stolas for their horrible treatment just because they feel bad. Not only that but the episode (as most recent HB episodes) was a huge time waster. Everyone was really hoping for an in depth walkthrough of his character/backstory but again, when he’s not with Ozzie, the rest/most of his screen time is dedicated to him being helpless and pointlessly arguing with Blitz, plus a long dragged out nonsense song that didn’t need to happen. It felt like SO much time was wasted when we could have used the runtime we have to dive deeper and see more, like….again it would have been nice to see Fizz’s life AFTER the accident and how he became well known as well as how he fell in love with Ozzie, but his backstory is briefly scratched upon in a single scene and that’s it, all because Viv wanted this filler plot and wanted to dedicate more time to THAT rather than actual character expansion/development, something we could have got had you took out Stolas and Ozzie’s B plot and Striker and Crimson.

Viv is so on her way to murder/ruin every character that isn’t Blitz and Stolas and I won’t be here to watch further. I’ll check out the Mammon music video thing but that’s it man, this show is going off the rails, Adding Fizz to the character adoption list!

[neko-loogi]

Hey y'all, sorry I'm late but I'm back with another one of these Helluva Boss opinion thingies-

Alright so the new episode, to be honest I enjoyed it more than the previous ones but I have to admit it still has its flaws. So let's discuss that.

So there's the whole Ozzie and Fizz being together, being all lovey-dovey. And honestly? It's the cutest shit I've ever seen. Stolas and Blitzo wish they could have that lmao

I also wanted to point out that I absolutely love the aesthetic of the Lust Ring (well mostly because it's purple and blue with neon pinks, which is different from the usual red that Viv is so obsessed with-). My only complaint however?

Is that the background should be slightly darker because characters like Ozzie blend a little too well with them. I mean, I can understand why the background is bright and all that, but Viv just loves to make her characters be barely noticeable in the shot-

Now, there's a few things I don't like about this episode, for starters, the pacing was absolute dogshit. Like, everything went by so fucking fast, I had to often pause the episode several times just to look at shit in the background or just the scene in general. It was a hard episode to digest, really.

Another thing I found stupid and unnecessary was the whole Ozzie signing contracts with Stolas- it was very out of place and like, it honestly felt like they just added that to pat the run time. Not only that but, why couldn't Ozzie just go to the Greed Ring and beat the crap out of Crimson and his goons for kidnapping Fizz? Like, I was legit expecting Ozzie to go in and do some crazy shit but he didn't- he just stood there, signing a bunch of papers and for what?? Fr that shit was anticlimactic.

Then there's the "accident" that caused Fizz to lose his limbs and horns. Honestly the scene was somewhat impactful for me but at the same time it went by too fast. And not only that, I hate that Blitzo admits that it was his fault, yet he makes everything about himself like- COULD YOU NOT DO THAT, YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT??? And you know what makes me even more mad about this scene? Is the fact that Blitzo had feelings for Fizz and was going to confess to him- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Istg can Viv stop making Blitzo being this uwu pathetic sad baby of an OC who fucks everything that breathes? (no wonder she made him canonically pansexual, it just shows-).

I also think it was stupid to make Fizz apologize to Blitzo- like, I don't care if what he did was an accident, that shit was fucked up. And it just seems so off that Fizz was all like "yeah you fucked me up and ruined my life but y'know what? I forgive you because plot reasons". I dunno man, it just doesn't sit well with me.

*Edit: I personally would've much preferred if Fizz didn't apologize to Blitzo, kinda like how his sister Barbie did. Where she just told him to fuck off and that she never wanted to see him again.

There's also the song that Fizz randomly sings at the end- it's terrible. I legit cringed the whole time while watching the entire scene. And finally uhh, Striker and Crimson working together was really stupid, it felt like a desperate attempt to make something look cool but it failed miserably.

Anyway, that's all. Thanks for reading, uh bye-

[not-a-space-alien]

For some reason I've decided to watch all the Land Before Time Movies and I'm only on the second one and I'm already.....baffled. There is SO much going on in The Land Before Time II: The Great Valley Adventure. The animation quality dropped noticeably from the first one, which isn't unexpected, but they made it a musical. The first one had no singing in it. And the songs in II are.........bad.

But what I can't get over is these two.

Ozzy and Strut, the Struthiomimus brothers. They have the typical smart-one-and-goon dynamics, and of course the smart one has a British accent. And their evil plan is to.....eat eggs. I'm preeeeeetty sure Struthiomimus was an herbivore, but eh maybe they thought they were egg-eaters in the 90's?

But Strut wants to eat plants and Ozzy doesn't let him. Not because they can't eat plants. But it seems like Ozzy thinks eating plants is embarrassing and beneath him.

This note from the wiki makes it make sense somewhat

But it's funny to me they put this bit moralizing the carnivore diet (He's EVIL because he wants to eat EGGS!!!) in the SAME movie where they hatch a baby sharptooth and Littlefoot tries to make it eat leaves, and it doesn't work

[finniestoncrane]

Hello. I am here to request Yandere Ozzie being overprotective of his sweet princess 🗣️ Perhaps she is kidnapped by someone in hopes of extorting Oswald and get more than a pretty penny out of him but him being the perfect man he is does not lose a single cent and gets his baby back but not before beating the crap out of the kidnappers for hurting her. Thank you and have a great day, friend 🫂

Rescue Me

Farrell!Penguin x Female!Reader, word count: 1.2k what if i did that but made it two parts and i am incredibly slow at getting to the conclusion of things and i'm also very sorry about it anon but you should know that already because this request is from october (i am so sorry i knew this prompt was good so it needed to have justice done to it) 🥴💜🐧 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: angst, threats, kidnapping, sad ozzie boo ;-;

“Uh huh. Sure. Uh-huh. And just so I know I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt, because I’m a nice guy. You know who you’re talking to here, huh?”

Two goons on either side of the office door watched Oswald as he tapped his fingers casually on his desk. He held the phone to his right ear, listening patiently. One of the men who watched had answered. Taken the brief message, and then followed the instructions.

“We’ve got your boss’ girl. We’re looking to exchange her for a reasonable sum, given that she’s tainted goods. You taking all of this down? Ok, go hand the phone to your boss and tell him we want to speak to him.”

“Oh, is that so? Ok. That’s all fine on my end. I’ll bring the money. You bring my girl. We’ll see how smooth things go. You better not waste my fuckin’ time neither.”

Oswald hung up the call, rubbing his face in his palms before he tossed the phone against the wall. He got up from his desk, grabbing his long leather jacket from the coat stand. A cigar, the metal briefcase from the safe in the closet, his own cell phone, and a handgun. That was all he was taking with him.

“You’re going personally, boss?”

“Course I am! And don’t neither of you two clowns follow me. I’m going alone.”

Brushing past them on his way out of the door, Oswald felt calm, collected, but he took a deep breath in before he started his car and began heading to the meeting point. He drove fast, but not fast enough that any cops would bother to interfere. He wanted to get there safe and sound, as quickly as possible. Your life wasn’t in danger, no one was that stupid, but he was still worried.

Pulling up to the farthest end of the docks, territory he felt safe in, Falcone’s territory at that, he noticed another car with dimmed headlights. With an air of confidence he didn’t need to muster up, he got out of his own vehicle, walking steadily towards them, making a concerted effort to conceal his limp as best as he could. He worried it made him look weak, like an easier target. Like he could be toppled over much easier than was likely.

A voice from the shadows, calling out to him. One he only recognised from the phone call, unable to place it to anyone he knew, or knew of.

“You actually came alone?”

“What can I say, I’m a man of my word.”

“Seems risky.”

“Should I be worried? This is business, chief. And I’d like to get on with it.”

“Not much for small talk, hm? What difference does it make how quick we commence the business? The damage has been done.”

Oswald narrowed his eyes, taking another step forward, hand reaching for his pocket, ready to grab his gun if need be.

“Listen, business is business. I’m a busy guy. I know how this shit goes. But I swear to you, if you touched a single hair on her body I will take everything you have and everyone you have ever loved.”

“Relax, Penguin.”

He flinched at the word. Fingers relaxing and tensing by his side.

“Toss the money over and you can have her. In exactly the same condition she was in when we brought her here.”

The briefcase landed with a metallic clunk on the ground, bouncing slightly before settling askew on the wet ground. The stranger took a few steps towards it, stopping when Oswald shouted out over the short distance between them.

“Don’t you touch that thing with your filthy funckin’ hands until I’ve seen her.”

Hands up, displaying his intentions, the stranger clicked his fingers and summoned two men from the vehicle, who dragged out another figure from the back seat. Clad in a large, ill-fitting stained shirt, no shoes, and with a bag over their head, they were walked over to the stranger who pushed them forwards, sending them stumbling into Oswald’s arms. He brought them in close, holding them behind him.

“Hey, you’re ok now, just keep quiet and follow my lead, kid.”

The stranger clicked open the briefcase, scoffing as they realised that there was nothing inside. But by the time he had glanced up towards Oswald, he was met with the handgun pointing at him.

“Shameful tactics, Oswald.”

“This isn’t my girl.”

Shaking his head, the stranger smiled, standing up slowly as Oswald traced his movements with the gun.

“Of course it isn’t. Looks like we both came up short on our ends of the bargain.”

“You bring her to me, or I swear to god!”

Oswald was shouting now, his voice breaking as he tried to conceal the raw emotion. Fear, rage, a deep sorrow, panic and worry.

“How about this time, you come to us. You bring the money to my warehouse, and we’ll give you what you want this time. Promise.”

He winked, a cruel grin briefly flashing over his up until now bland and neutral face.

“I don’t even know who you are or where you operate from. How am I supposed to find you?”

“Think of a way. You’ve got twenty-four hours.”

As he walked to the car, entering it as his men held the door open for him, he called back.

“And don’t worry about it, you’ll know who I am soon enough. Everyone will.”

As their car sped away, Oswald turned his attentions to the figure behind him. Peeling the bag slowly from her head, he stood back, giving her enough space to get accustomed to her surroundings. It didn’t take long, and before he knew it she had her arms around him, thanking him, sobbing into his jacket.

“It’s ok, hey. You’re fine. I recognise you, kid. You one of my dancers?”

“Y-yeah Mister Cobblepot, sir. I… I was coming out of work with your-”

“They took her too? You saw her!? You gotta let me know if they hurt her, ok?”

“They didn’t hurt none of us, she’s ok. Just… scared Mister Cobblepot. We all were.”

Sighing, trying to hold back the tears in a bid to remain the safe space for the girl he now held in the freezing cold, Oswald tried to think on his feet, willing his brain to move past the initial flurry of pain and anxiety that flooded him.

“Listen, sweetheart. I’ll get you home. We’ll make sure you’re safe, ok? I’ll get one of my guys on your door and he’ll stick with you till we have this creep dealt with. But you gotta help me. You think you can do that?”

“A-anything, Mister Cobblepot. I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me, kid. But I need to know where you were. Anything you can tell me.”

She started to speak but he silenced her with a gesture.

“Not right now, you need to be warm, safe, before you even think about doing anything else. You need a drink. We’ll go back to the club, ok?”

Nodding quietly, sniffling back some tears, Oswald’s new ward got into the back seat of the car, resting her head against the window as Oswald drove back to the club to formulate his plan.

Everyone would know who this stranger was. He’d be the guy that Oswald Cobblepot strung up in pieces across Gotham. They idiot who crossed the wrong man.

[chinesegal]

Review of Helluva Boss "OOPS":

I have a lot of thoughts about the newest episode, and I want to share my criticisms.

Ozzie calls Fizz "Fizzyfrog" as an affectionate nickname. But since it has been previously established that "firetoad" is a slur for imps, that would be like a white person calling their S/O of color a racial slur as a nickname. It has nasty implications.

Blitz and Fizz just happening to be right outside the window where Striker and Crimson are talking feels like too much of a coincidence, it's dumb.

Crimson, an imp, is extorting and threatening Ozzie, one of the seven sins, who ranks right below Lucifer. That's ridiculously suicidal. This show can't decide whether the class hierarchy in Hell matters or not; if imps are supposed to be lowly and oppressed. What's stopping Ozzie from just killing Crimson? Legally? Would the law really take the side of an imp over a Sin?

Striker, Crimson and the goons just standing there, doing nothing but looking angry as Fizz is performing his "distraction" is dumb as hell. Why not shoot or try capturing him? I could forgive this if Fizz had siren-like powers capable of capturing people in a trance, or if the audience was actually "distracted" but that's not the case; Striker/Crimson/the Goons are clearly annoyed and angry but not doing anything about it other than just standing around.

The circus burning down from Blitzo turning around and bumping into a birthday cake is so stupid. It's like the Cruella movie where Cruella's mother was knocked over a cliff by rampaging dalmatians, which a lot of people made fun of&memed about. I will explain my problems in detail here:

First off, it's so ridiculously "anti-dramatic" for a lack of a better word. Blitzo caused the circus to burn down, his best friend Fizz to lose half his body and his mother to die by accidentally knocking over a cake?

A much better backstory would be if it was a circus trick gone wrong; Imagine if, instead of just knocking over a fucking cake, Blitz caused the fire by trying to replicate one of Fizz's circus tricks in an attempt to prove to his father and the audience that he's just as worthy of applause and love. But, having no experience with the equipment and not being as agile as Fizz, he caused the first. It's not a perfect idea but at least it's a lot more emotionally resonant than OH NOES I KNOCKED OVER THE CAKE-

It would be a much better story, because the mistake would have been from his choices instead of it being just an accident that wasn't his fault.

Also, in the first episode it was established that demons can't be harmed by fire. If hellfire can harm demons, then why would you put hellfire candles on a cake? That would be stupidly and unnecessarily dangerous. Assuming of course, that both "normal" and hellfire exists in hell. When Blitzo shoots a fuel container it explodes, creating an explosion of hellfire. But that has never been explained before in the show.

Also, if Blitz' lost his home, mother and best friend in a fire he caused and he feels guilt for it, you would think that he would be more affected by the circus burning down in "Loo Loo Land"; he basically re-experienced the accident with Fizz (bumps into Wally-makes him drop something burning-sets everything on fire-gets Fizz (Robo Fizz in this case) burned).

Honestly, I feel like HB is slowly turning into a saturday morning cartoon with swearing and sex. The simplistic storylines, every conflict being resolved at the end of each episode, the one-dimensional cartoonish villains all point to something made to appeal to little kids.

[cartoon-buffoon]

Based off my last FNF X Oswald image, this was annoying to make as IBIS kept crashing and or lagging. Also once again traced the speakers because I really did wanna edit in the speaker sprites yet I didn't wanna put in the effort of editing out Pico or GF. This obviously takes place after the last image so Felix's look is a result of him accidentally blowing himself up (this is also a reference to that "HET" image of Felix ripping his skin off). Mickey is on a business call because he's not gonna waste time he could be using to make money. I also wanted to replace all the Tankman with toons yet I got lazy so only Donald and Goofy are there.

Oh also a little alternate week 7 script I wrote for this AU. ↓ (warning: cussing, obviously, this is based off of week 7)

Mickey: "God fucking dammit! Well played ya dumb rabbit, yet I don't got time to be mucking around! Sorry Ozzie, I just hope you know this is nothing but business. BOYS! ERASE THESE TWO!"

First ever iterations of Donald and Goofy appear behind Ortensia

"Shoulda' stayed in the vault bro, HA-HA!"

Donald and Goofy prepare to fire guns filled with thinner as Ortensia's eye glows blue

Felix:"look out below!"

Ortensia looks up and promptly jumps off the speakers into Oswald's arms. Felix parachutes in using his magic bag before tossing two grenades blowing up both Donald and Goofy

Mickey:"DIPPY! DONALD! Augh!!! You killed classics!—you know what? Who gives a fuck I always got more"

Felix:"sorry to blow the private party, yet you looked like you were in quite the pickle, Oz"

Oswald gives Felix a thumbs up before he's distracted by Ortensia who kisses him on the cheek. Mickey growls in frustration as he looks at Felix.

Mickey:"oh well look who it is! Your bisexual angry feline friend, don't you got some merch to plaster your face over because that's seemingly all you do now and days? ... Actually, you don't got much of a face anymore, huh... Whatever who cares— let's get this over with as I got places to be and money to make, let's rock ya stupid buck! HA-HA! Ya stupid buck!"

Oswald, Ortensia, and Felix cringe as they look at each other awkwardly

Mickey:"shut up! it's funny!"

Mickey unmutes himself from his phone call, not caring about who on the other side hears him. Felix pulls out two more grenades and pulls the pins preparing to take down the other goons Mickey has. Oswald smirks as he gets ready to embarrass his brother in front of his entire gang while Ortensia cheers him on.

[agent-8449]

Agent Logos CJverse chatroom summary.... REAL!!!!

Clears throat. This may be a long post, be warned. Actually, yeah. Bwoink.

The OG AU: Voice of Reason

Whole: Dead as fuck. Sort of. Way before the events of the comic, their Whole 'died'. We refer to not-dead Whole OOCly as 'Hope', but he also sort of exists afterwards as a figment of himself-- the 'shadow' called Cast. Cast can only speak in song lyrics, and currently resides in... the TMAverse, as a cursed item. Woaw.

Heart: Would kill you if you called him Heart. Ozzy/Oz/Ozymandias is a real piece of work. Sourceless guilt incarnate, magically influenced by a cursed mirror to eat it, in a symbolic attempt to erase himself. He's so chill. So fine. So cool. Definitely not so close to collapsing at all times. Got glasses though.

Mind: Tinker/Ulysses. So violently soggy, but hides it under his inexplicable British accent and polite demeanour. Made the transmitters that allow Thirds to traverse between their Surrealities. He half-regrets this. The only one of the three fully aware that Cast is an actual sentient guy. Hid his Soul's trident in his hand after the comic, and so that hole is very much still there <he's 'fixing' it atm...>

Soul: Coda. Coba. Coba Cola. What a disaster. After the comic, it <he/it> was kept in his room as much as possible. Then Oz left, and he completely lost it. It was a big storyline, so feel free to ask about it. Coda is really fun because he's not sane

Me-only AU 2: The Negatives

Whole: Eris... also known as Chase. The Negatives are a sort of "reversal of personality". Eris is a shitty content farm-making YouTuber, and generally hates this too. He also has to deal with the Cold War he sort of constructed with his own Thirds. He remembers what his Thirds do, which is good because he split <past tense> often... like. Every day. They called it 'shifts'. Yeah.

Heart: Phobos, ahhhhh my horrible boy Phobos. Personification of egoism, self-aggrandization, imagination, and intrusive thoughts. Green. Mean. A bitch and a half. Generally sadistic. The de-facto leader of the Negative Thirds. Wears crocs. Idolises Whole.

Mind: Deimos. That is all. Personification of logic, reasoning, and thinking ahead. He is also an absolute goon and pushover. All too happy to be Phobos' lackey.

Soul: Nemesis, though he hates that nickname. Personification of 'cringe culture', self-doubt, second-hand embarassment, and critical thinking. Basically ignored by the other two. Does all the work in the Vessel. Clinically annoyed by everything all the time. Very spiteful.

ASSORTED GUYS <from co-op AUs>:

Allen: Soul from Voib, Andy, Shade and I's AI AU, also known as Reification Initiative: Apotheosis. Yeah I came up with that. My bad. Allen is shitty. So very shitty. Ran away. That's all I can say for now.

Valentine: Heart from WAAAILSSSSSS IT'S ONLY ME BUT HIS COUNTERPARTS ARE ALL DEAAAAD. The Bachelor AU, a 'Lonely' AU. He is trying to live his life now that he fucked up and he's alone. He committed arson. He has to go to government-mandated therapy. He is beloved.

Nyx: Whole from Xanadu AU. Haven't done much with him, but he's in space, and he's an idiot.

Vlinder: :>

Thyme: Mind from the Aonaran/Apocalypse AU. The world ended. It be like that sometimes. And the stress got to their Whole. Thyme killed multiple people.

Pursuit: Heart (2) from Voib's Labyrinths AU. He is big kitty cat lad. Does eat people. Tries to maintain the status quo. Genuinely satisfied with the state of things.

Magna: Mind from Demersal AU. Basically, he got pitted instead of Heart for being a delusional little shit. He did not get any less delusional. Conspiracy nut, drowning 1/4th of the time, and generally horrible person.

Brevity: Soul from Voib and I's Syncopation AU. Olde Mann. No legs, they froze off. He is not mentally well at all, but he's got to keep it together if he wants to continue being 'him'.

Crawl: Heart from the Asides AU. Fourth-wall breaking eldritch horror. Collector of things. Collector of extinct things. Full name 'Crawl of the Horizon'.

"Quinn": Soul from Good Day. Very new AU with me, Voib, Q-ott, and Ledge <@/nitroish>. Meant to be close to album guys. He's denying his halves exist and matter atm.

There you go! Not including the alternate timelines because jesus christ

[thebunniesgrim]

It's almost embarrassing how much I like the episode lol

So, the new ep dropped yay! 

Over all I personally liked

it a few extremely minor nitpicks

but overall, I loved it  

If you wanna know my nitpicks, go ahead a read them but otherwise I'm gonna go on a tangent about fire in hell because I wanna :) 

does this count as criticism?

Fizzes new song wasn’t as good as thought would be, but I understand it’s improve but I think the joke would have landed better if it was actually extremely catchy like total ear worm of a song 

I don’t like that fizz and Bliztos relationship kinda resolved so fast (but I'm a hateful bitch who can't let go of things so hey maybe that’s just something wrong with me :/) 

Stolas was in the episode homeboy was hospitalized how are you just up and ready to function. Couldn’t be me honestly after that ruffing up, I would have needed 10 to 12 business years to recover lol  

I really don’t understand why Asmodeus was seen as the weakest sin especially since we haven’t seen the other yet. If it's because he canoodling with an imp, ok? But he’s still a sin also if I wanted to pick on any of the sins, we’ve seen so far it would be Bee just saying she’s dating a dog! Someone less than imps just saying!  

Crimson is fucking stupid threating a deadly sin (first Loona now him why are people just so causally threating or trying to fight the deadly sins? Are they the big bads or not? We have imps and hellhounds trying to fight them like that doesn’t matter)  

We didn’t see Asmodeus go crazy and like fully murder someone see a hint of his powers and frankly I'm a little upset about it lol like don’t tell me was worried about Fizz and didn’t want him hurt. homeboy you are a deadly sin you could turn Crimson and his Goons into paste in like 5 milliseconds like?  Like and you expect me to believe Ozzie is the top in this relationship? Please other than the size difference bottom Ozzie is definitely believable if he let Crim bitchify him like that just saying.

This is how I looked when Ozzie didn’t just murder them:

“Ozzie how can you be so stupid Ozzie?” (go watch Rigamarole)

Lol

Don’t get me wrong, I find Crimson and Striker very entertaining but like really? come on...

Anyhow fire! 

This episode very much answers my questions on fire in hell  

I didn’t want to vocalize this because I was worried it was an extremely dumb question  

I totally missed in Murder Family that blitzo says to Martha (#bring back Martha)  

“Yeah, your fire doesn't really work on us” yeah, your fire  

I always assumed the termed ‘hell fire’ was just a dramatic saying I didn’t think it was literal  

But even if it was literal, I didn’t think Hell Fire would work on Hell Borns, I thought it would be a sinners only things like if sinners are supposed to be in hell to be like confronted with sin and tortured why would the imps and such be affected by the fire you know? How are imps and such supposed to help torture the sinners if they are also affected by hell fire? And with now much stuff is on fire in the background in the show I always assumed it was for show when the backgrounds got too earthy like hey don’t worry, we’re still in hell  

So, I assumed that each ring has different fire (even though earth as also has colored fire but that’s not important) and if you were born from a certain ring that fire wouldn’t hurt you so if you were from the lust ring then lust fire wouldn’t hurt you. Still seems very inefficient if you move rings to go work in another but hey not my show.  

So, from what we can see lust has blue

greed has green

wrath has... orange?

And sloth as purple or light blue I think from the little sloth people’s candles I'm assuming.  

gluttony has... yellow? pink? i dont know i think this is the few eps without fire in it tbh i think...

So that being said blizto, frizz, and barbie are form greed because the fire in the flash back was green good to know  

It makes since in hindsight tbh with they’re entertainment background and bltzo working in LooLoo land I guess idk why you’d work somewhere with the robot version of the guy you thought you hated but hey whatever a gig is a gig I suppose. Also, that means LooLoo World is in the pride ring since Charlie took Vaggie to the LooLoo World unless Charlie can move Vaggie through the rings as like a princess of hell perk thing idk. Also dick move Stolas to take your kid to the discount amusement park (if I was Octavia, I'd be so petty about this just saying. I can't believe Stella let this happen) 

Idk why Blitzo didn’t mention that he was also from greed when IMP went to go see Moxxies dad but not important I guess  

(also, it was nice seeing Striker and Crimson in the new ep tbh) 

Also, in the roller-coaster in LooLoo land that Millie said she liked had fire on it and how come that didn’t hurt anyone? Also, the explosion at the end of LooLoo land the Blzito and the M&Ms were messed up but not really like you know Fizz levels of messed up granted we didn’t see how close Blitzo and M&Ms were to the explosion  

Side note 

Why were there explosives under the table to begin with at Fizz’s party? No wonder it looked like Blitzo tried to set him up like? That was planned idk someone had it out for him  

I understand the explosion is what messed up Fizz but like I feel like the extra damage from the fire shouldn't have caused that much damage also Fizz was facing the explosives he should have died just saying face and head blow off completely  

Also, how can the horses have fire mains if fire hurts them?

still cute tho :) 

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

Similar characteristics (pretty much “DNA analysis” but not really since it’s an adoptive relationship 😂)

Note: Again, I normally do “Mom and Dad” separately on another post, but 1) there’s no “mom” to do and 2) Loona’s personality is nice and quick to do, who she has more of a personality than Octavia does, since she’s first character’s daughter and critically important to the story

P.S I’m pretty sure Viv did this on purpose to make it look like Loona was biologically Blitz's daughter (both in mannerisms and personality-wise) even though in appearance we can clearly see she’s a hellhound lol

Blitz (Dad):

• Sensitive - way deep down inside

* Both father and daughter put their walls up to protect their emotions from everyone else but use two different types of coping mechanisms; Blitz will use comedy whilst Loona will use indifference (unless it’s a circumstance like what happened with Octavia where she was not as hostile)

• Smoker (pure coincidence)

* Most likely she did it at the age of 17 years old because Loona is her own person and wasn’t influenced by Blitz at all. Given that he would be the type of parent not to do it in front of her but gives up after learning about her being a smoker and sees not point in hiding it any longer 😂

• Bantering

* Whether Loona is laughing at something Blitz had said to Moxxie or he just participates alongside his daughter with the slander that’s being thrown at his employee (like seriously! The way it’s done… it’s almost a “father/daughter” thing, to pick on Moxxie 🤣)

• Both Loona and Blitz, at different times, told the clients — Loopty Goopty (1x04) and the other to Crimson’s goons (2x03) — to “use the door” rather than blowing up I.M.P’s walls. If THAT is not a like father like daughter moment I don’t know WHAT is 😆)

* Again, one was out of indifference and the other was a comedic running joke

• Ridiculing people at their expense

* Loona = Blitz (rarely) and Millie (one off)

* Blitz = Moxxie (mainly) and others

• Amicable (selective)

* Loona = Octavia of the Ars Goetia

* Blitz = I.M.P’s clientele

• Family orientated

* Blitz as Loona’s adoptive dad (duh! 😆)

* Loona as Octavia’s (surrogate) sister

• Body languages

* Deer-in-headlights

* Nervous mannerisms

* Hands on hips and a scowl

(Although I’m pretty sure Blitz just copied Loona’s stance, for he deliberately looked at what she was doing and did the same, I don’t if this was a “I want to become closer to my daughter, so I’ll copy her” or a “I’m just Blitz being Blitz” thing 🤣)

• Approving (secretly)

* Loona = Blitz’s paternalism

* Blitz = Stolas’s appearance & personality

• Vulnerable (very rarely)

* Blitz = Stage fright (2x02)

* Loona = Getting her hellbies shot (2x04)

• Pushes people away

* Loona = Blitz (mainly) and others

* Blitz = Anyone gets too close to him

• Bashful when it becomes sexually attracted

Blitz = Striker trying to explain his affair with Stolas

Loona = Explaining to Vortex why vortexes are “hot”

• Aggressive & vulgar

• Antisocial

• Attentive

• Both part of the LGBTQIA community

<> Blitz = Pansexual

<£ Loona = Bisexual

Facial expressions:

(I KID YOU NOT! 🤯)

• Dejected

* Especially their respective love interests

Blitz = Stolas after what happened at Ozzie’s

Loona = Vortex after finding out that his girlfriend is drop dead gorgeous and is no competition

• Concerned (rare)

• Contempt

• Shocked

• Irritation

• Smug

• Stoic

References:

[an-entity-i-think]

Okay so you know the drill,, there's a gala! Wow Bruce Wayne is so dreamy 😍 he's a whore 🥵 he's a dad 🥰 he's a- oh shit he's a hostage 😳

Everyone looks around frantic and scared but also... not really... cause ya know... this happens like every Wayne gala? Like they had to sign a slip saying that Wayne Inc isn't liable for any injuries during a possible takeover cause the Board was tired of people sneaking in just to sue after being shot by Ozzie's umbrella gun (it was just a graze 🙄) (Bruce pays for them all anyway)

But! This time Damian was in his arms when he was taken hostage! Extra collateral! How tragic! He's just a poor boy ;(

The corners have shadows of course and next thing you know- through a series of odd instances that are totally irrelevant to the story (oh his other children must be so scared! Must have hid under the tables since no one saw them,, how terribly sad) -a few of Gotham's vigilantes show up to save the day! (Is it 9 already?)

Alas! a goon (he's new, he's blue, he'll shoot himself in the shoe 🎶) gets startled and almost shoots poor defenseless Damian Wayne and oh Bruce becomes a real papa bear and slams his fist into the goons face-

"No." He practically growls- which uh Brucie can growl? A spattering of confusion goes around the room before a laughing Red Hood can be heard after checking on the goon-

"Damn! Good job papi!"

Everyone in the room pauses.

Did the Red Hood... just call Brucie Wayne Papi? The Red Hood, the anti-hero of unknown age who just recently obtained the praise of the city for taking down the recent baddie with the Gotham sirens when all the other bats seemed to be out of town?

A million ideas pass through the thoughts of the elite in attendance.

A million thoughts pass through Jason who just realized what he said after seeing that Goon Lagoon lost his front teeth.

He looks to Nightwing and in state of panic they speak to each other in a way that only panicking siblings who can't speak can share-

'You done fucked up,' Dick seems to say with a twitch of his eyebrow.

'Obviously, you stupid idiot, but how do I fix it,' Jason responds practically psychically with a tilt of his head.

Dick just looks at him in pity, and with a shake of his head, he stares into his little brother's soul with the plan

-of course nobody else hears this conversation,, everyone in the room just watches the two vigilantes stare at each other weirdly for a few seconds (theyre on complete opposite sides of the room? There is not a single shred of subtle about them having a mental conversation even if nobody knows what it's about) before a look a pure absolute disgust reveals itself across Red Hood's masked face (he threw his helmet for fun earlier in the battle not important) before settling into a neutral stiffness.

Solemnly devastated, like he's about to go off to war and his Beau will be left behind to be cared for by his evil brother who will no doubt try to take advantage of his estate,,

or like a teenager being told by an acquaintance that they found their old elementary school YouTube account with videos of them role-playing with their Littlest Pet Shop animals,,

or like when a mother writes a 12k story for her fandom during her toddlers nap time only for the child not only to wake up before expected but also somehow spill applejuice all over her laptop (the one she's had since she was a teen) shorting it and deleting the story because she didn't press save on top of being morbidly tired from lack of sleep-

He looks up and says with clarity in his voice even if it's also filled with the verbal equivalent of eating 4 lemons raw and slow- peel and all,

"That's what I call him in bed."

Everyone in The Know takes psychic damage.

The elite in the crowd do little more than nod before moving on.

Bruce just smiles big and fake and pretends like he doesn't want to die.

Red Hood looks at his gun with wistfullness, while Nightwing does an unnecessary amount of acrobatics along the chandeliers above them just to land next to him and pat him on the shoulder.

Later, an anonymous commenter spoke about hearing Damian Wayne whisper to himself, "I hate this fucking family," as Timothy Drake-Wayne (who appeared miraculously safe and sound) gave him a nod of agreement.

[house-of-slayterr]

Ask and Thou Shall Be Roasted:

@howl-fantasies

Maggie’s POV:

I got pulled into another one of those useless meetings with Oswald. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed our one on one time, but I wasn’t a criminal, so I didn’t really see the point of me being here. I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time at one of his outbursts. I was stood beside him on his thrown, looking out into the crowd of scared lowlifes shaking in the boots. I had to admit it felt quite powerful.

From across the room I locked eyes with Y/N, who as usual, wasn’t paying attention in the slightest. I sneakily whipped out my phone and brought up our chat.

Mags:

Not paying attention are we?

“Mom”:

It appears the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Dearest.

Mags:

Not fair, at least I don’t actually have to be here. This is a courtesy for me, you’re missing out on serious business

She raised her brow at me from across the room.

“Mom”:

Ahh yes, because this tantrum is so vital to my career.

I had to stifle a laugh as I sent my next message and gauged the assassins reaction. I didn’t want to get caught.

Mags:

I smiled on triumph as I saw here serious facade crumble for just a moment. Almost unnoticeable to the untrained eye.

“Mom”:

In a bullying mood today I see? 🤨

Mags:

Always 😈

“Mom”:

Well I’d certainly love to launch him into a wall.

Mags:

How original? The assassin has a thrust for blood.

“Mom”:

And other things 😏

Mags:

You’re disgusting.

“Mom”:

Mags:

More like he needs free therapy… I’m not volunteering 😂

“Mom”:

Nothing fixes my moon quicker, more then putting the fear of god into this man.

Mags:

Ahhh I see, you like your girlfriend to be, hairless, submissive and breedable…

This her?

What I wasn’t expecting was for Y/N to choke on her drink. All eyes in the room shifted to her and she cleared her throat. Oswald looked at her expectedly.

��Sorry boss”

He gave a a confused look, and went on with the meeting. Not before greeting me with a smile, which I quickly returned:

“Mom”:

I’m going to kill you 👀

Mags:

I think many people in this room would object. Have fun with that though. ☺️👍

I quickly made my way through my contacts and pulled up Vic’s number.

Small Child:

Come get your girl, she needs to be tamed.

Baldie 🚫💇:

What can I say, she’s a feral woman?

Small Child:

She’s beauty… she’s Grace… she’ll sit on your face 😍

I watched as Vic squirmed across the room, trying to focus in back on the meeting. But his actions didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N who glared at him from across the room.

“Family” Chat:

Mother:

Are the two of you texting when you should be paying attention? Do you need to be punished?

Baby girl:

Punish me Mommy, for I have sinned. 🧎‍♀️

Daddio:

Yes, punish us my love 👀

Mother:

I hate both of you.

Baby Girl:

Not what Ozzy’s chauffeur said when I asked him why he was scrubbing the backseat this morning 🤨

Can confirm. You only hate me.

Daddio:

Awww, she doesn’t hate you, you’re her favourite pet. 🐰

Baby Girl:

Gee thanks, I feel so loved.

Oh shit, Oswald’s wearing his angry face, I think we’ve been caught.

Mother:

Which one?

Daddio:

His “I’ll kill you with a baseball bat face?”

Baby Girl:

No, that’s definitely the look you’re receiving for sure. He’s looking at me more like-

Mother:

How are you so quick with these?

Baby Girl:

What can I say, it’s my hidden talent. I should go, before he throws his cane at Vic’s face. Catch you on the flip side losers, enjoy your capital punishment 😈

Daddio:

🖕

Mother:

😒

I slide my phone back into my pocket. Oswald looked up at me expectedly after the meeting was over.

“Sorry Oz, your goons were distracting me.”

He gently placed a hand on my shoulder, not once questioning my fib.

“Of course they were, those idiots, always trying to corrupt you.”

“I know, it’s awful.”

Thankfully he couldn’t hear the sarcasm behind my tone. Vic and Y/N would be bored without me honestly. Gotta spice up their lives somehow, you know besides the arson, mass murder, armed robberies and hundreds of accounts of aggravated assault. I watched as he shifted his glare to the two killers chatting across the room. As he stalked his way over I sent one last text to the group chat.

Baby girl:

Run. 👁👄👁

An: omg this was so much fun to write. I missed the sillier storylines for this group! God I love their dynamic so much. I gotta learn how to make my own memes so I can make them personal next time 😈

[finniestoncrane]

Fake dating prompt. "I love her! okay! it's not pretend for me!" Daddy Oz. I am begging on my knees 🛐

It's Only Make Believe

Farrell!Penguin x Female!Reader, word count: 350 ok just a little drabble of protective and pining ozzie, short and sweet just like him lmaoooo part 2 here request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: suggestive language

“Oh yeah, I’d give her the business, show her what’s what, y’know?”

“Course I do! You seen her in that one skirt she wears?”

“Ho ho, yeah I know exactly which one.”

Oswald’s two most trusted goons looked over at him, trying to get him to engage in the conversation.

“Hey, boss, you look down, how come?”

Suddenly disrupted from his thoughts, his once thoughtful expression turned to one of irritation.

“What, nothing. You two should be focused on your work and not some skirt. What poor creature are you two talking about anyway?”

“Your new secretary. One you’ve got that fake marriage going with to scam the insurance company.”

Irate at the suggestion, Oz stood up from the desk, marching over to them and raising his fist before taking a breath, pointing his finger at them both instead.

“I suggest neither of you do so much as look at her again then. Or I will be claiming on your life insurance.”

“You worried someone will find out about the scam, boss? That’s kind of a low-end gig for you anyway, no?”

“It’s…more intricate than that. You two idiots wouldn’t understand.”

“Try us!”

Oswald rubbed his temples with his fingers, trying to decide if his headache would be made worse by trying to explain to them, or by letting them hound him all day.

“The scam…it’s…look it was hard to get to agree to it…but I needed to because…”

“Because the money, right!”

“To pretend for the money, huh?”

“No…because…I love her! Okay? It’s not pretend for me. And I can’t let her catch wind that there is no money at the end of this.”

Neither of the other men spoke. They watched in silence as Oz returned to his desk, placing his head in his hands.

“I figure, I woo her, show her how good life would be with the Cobblepot name, then maybe it’s not pretend anymore.”

“Why you gotta pretend though, boss?”

He sighed, twisting a pen between his fingers, voice softer than usual.

“Because you two have seen her. What’s a broad like that want with an old man like me?”

[writers-revolt528]

A HPHM Story: D&D Part 1

No spoilers

Alan Morrissey sits at a table full of gleeful and excited Hogwarts students at the Hogs Head Inn. Laid out upon the large table is a game of muggle D&D, the student's game is undisturbed as their table is tucked away in a corner of the room, with only candlelight to awaken the story they have immersed themselves in. Eminence Addison was Alan's character, nicknamed Addy, she was a 5'4" half elf rogue with short brown hair and hazel eyes, she had sticky fingers, always stealing anything that could be of any use to her or her good friend Juliette, that was Rowan's character, Juliette was an Aasimar fighter, a 5' 10" beauty with light brown skin dawned with flowing long white hair, and awakened with pure white pupiless eyes, she was nice to everyone in the party, but she could be assertive and sometimes terrifying watching as she grilled a captured enemy for she wore standard chainmail armor with an ornate silver basket hilted sword resting on her belt, ready to be used at any time, she was brilliant. Tonks played a shifter (surprised, no one was) named Kassandra no one was truly sure what she actually looked like, where she came from, or how old she was, but she was a greatly appreciated sorcerer. Liz played a human ranger going by the name Ozzy, the party had met Ozzy at a hunting club where he was originally an NPC, but the group liked him so much, that they asked Liz to play him, why Liz? because in this setup there were three Dungeon Masters instead of one, Ben, Penny, and Merula. The reson behind this was to put different ideas forward in the campaign, originally it was just Ben, but Penny heard about it from Tonks, so she approached Ben about throwing in some ideas. He liked her ideas, so he invited her to be the second DM, Merula came into play, because she couldn't let her girlfriend: Penny have all the fun. So it gave the party an interesting story with the collaboration of three people. The DM's also asked for NPC ideas from their friends, and Ozzy was created by Liz, that's why they asked her to learn the rules and play him. Ozzy's origin story is he was a hunter for hire, trapping, catching, and sometimes selling animals that people would want off their property or nuisances that were killing people like the wolves of Sunton Village, but more on that later.

The Party, deep into a campaign waits for DM Ben's next sentence, " you open the door and it is revealed to you that you are in an underground speakeasy, the room is lively, and lit by low hanging chandeliers made of metal rimmed wooden carriage wheels, most likely stolen from the streets above, there is a bar, and a group of people playing poker, they look like trouble, there is a tiefling singer wearing a red satin dress that sparkles like the moon does over the flowing rivers above. What do you do? Addy walks through the crowd over to the bar, and orders a drink, "that will be one gold coin" the bartender says, Addy slaps down five gold coins " keep them coming" she says. Juliette sits down at a table taking a chance to relax, listening to the singer's alluring song. Kassandra joins the poker game, and Ozzy joins Addy at the bar. He orders cheap beer, not understanding why his friend would order such expensive drinks.

The night continues and time passes, at some point people start arguing, and patrons start looking their way, including Ozzy, he finds that Kassandra and the poker goons are yelling at eachother, he rushes over and asks what's wrong, one of the goons says that Kassandra has been cheating somehow, to which she denies it, Ozzy says " why don't we all relax and talk about this instead of throwing accusations at eachother", a guy tries to attack Ozzy with a knife but trips on nothing and falls on it, "you see that, I am a wizard, if I can kill that guy without lifting a finger, imagine what I can do if I did" Ozzy said sternly, the poker goons back off and Kassandra walks off with her winnings, (one hundred gold coins). On their return to the bar, Kassandra whispers to Ozzy, " I changed into one of the waiters and when I was giving them drinks I looked at their cards, then I changed back had them deal me in" Ozzy smiled and chuckled, Kassandra smiled and laughed too. After the moment passed the two notice the five empty glasses on the bar where Addy was sitting, but no Addy, "oh shit" Kassandra says. Juliette watches as the tifeling finishes her song, and starts another, Addy stumbles over to her friend's table and crashes down into a chair, "h-hi Juli" Addy says groggily, "hi Addy" her friend says calmly, "s-so you you come here often" Addy smiles drunkely, "you're funny" Juliette says sweetly. Addy sets her head down, her short brown hair barely touching the table top, "yeah" she says before falling asleep. Just in time for one of the walls to be blown in, bricks and dust fly in every direction, guards enter through the hole and start yelling and arresting people.

Backstory: the party is here because they got a job from a private collector who had somethings stolen from his collection three tiger eye stones with ocean blue centers, they recovered one off the corpse of a corrupt politician in his suit pocket he had a letter which was signed by an anonymous writer, he was going to meet him at the abandoned brewery in Shotsy City. Shotsy City prohibits the brewing, selling, and consumption of alcohol the city officials were tired of seeing drunks lining the streets, so they stopped all alcohol production which pissed a lot of people off, hence the speakeasy, funny with a name that has the word "shot" in it... Juliette did a History Check.

Juliette grabs Addy who is still asleep and takes her to Kassandra "take her, please" Juliette says panicked, Kassandra takes Addy and disappears into the chaos, Juliette and Ozzy stand their ground in order to help people flee, by distracting the guards...

The story was broken by the inn's bartender saying "alright guys I'm closing up, see you next Sunday." The group packs up and leaves, the moon lit night sky looks over Hogsmeade. The DM's talk about schoolwork a couple steps ahead of everyone, Liz and Tonks talk about their theories on where the story might go, but Alan and Rowan were the last ones out the door, carrying their items in small satchel bags. "I had fun tonight, you?" Alan asked, " it was fun" Rowan said softly as he pushed his horn rimmed glasses against his face, Alan smiled weakly, " when Addison sobers up, she is going to steal so much alcohol," " that'll be cool" Rowan said with blank emotion . Alan lost track of his thoughts, "good night Rowan" Alan said quickly, Rowan said nothing even though they were both wearing blue and gold house scarves. Alan sprinted ahead up towards the DM group, Rowan stood there confused, "good night?"

[cobblepot-comfort]

The Rescue - Chapter 7

Chapter 7 - Oswald and Jim Discuss the Future

Jim had always known that Oswald was fragile emotionally, a fact he kept concealed inside a hard shell.  The notoriously ruthless, tough spirited gangster who could survive any amount of physical punishment and think - and fight - his way out of any dangerous, tricky situations, had become an expert at surviving and climbing.  He’d had to be, or he would have been sure to get trampled underfoot by the mobsters and henchmen he’d rubbed shoulders with.

He had seen Oswald’s vulnerability in his eyes the very first time they had met.

Sure, he’d been beating hell out of some poor bastard with a baseball bat - but that had been expected of him, after all, hadn’t it?  He had had to prove how ruthless he could be in front of Fish Mooney’s goons.  He’d been invited and encouraged in the activity by that side kick of hers, Butch Gilzean.

He had been far too eager to please and had rather overcompensated, but he had clearly wanted to make a good impression.  And that was just what he did - literally and metaphorically.  

Kill or be killed, that was the kind of world Gertrud Kapelput’s precious boy had gotten himself involved in.  He wasn’t sure how he’d got employed by Fish Mooney as her ‘umbrella boy’, and he wasn’t inclined to ask him.  The past was the past, as Oswald was often telling him when he'd attempted to apologise for yet another transgression he'd committed.

And it wasn’t as if the guy he was beating hadn’t been caught with his hands in the till beforehand….

Yep, Jim was smitten all right.  He’d always make excuses for Oswald.  But, after all, didn’t Oswald always make excuses for him, too?

He’d not been slow in administering physical punishment to get information and co-operation.  He used violence and threatening behaviour, turning to his brute strength,  to get what he wanted when mere words failed to get results.  He’d used that kind of force on Oswald more than once too. 

He’d since tried to apologise, promised that he would do his best to make up for it - and he now made a point of behaving like a gentleman towards him all the time -  but Ozzy hadn’t admonished him once over his previous bad treatment.  In fact, Oswald was very good at showing Jim’s guilt trips the door in his own inimitable way.

"Tsk, don’t be silly, James,” he’d said dismissively, cutting Jim’s anxious speech dead with a casual wave of his hand.  “As I keep telling you - constantly, Detective, the past is the past as far as I’m concerned.  And as I also never tire of repeating, you were just doing your job, as I was mine.  Please,  don’t give it a second thought.  Now, James honey - why don't you just ravish me if you're so determined to make amends….you know much I appreciate that..." 

That was an invitation Jim could never refuse.

He didn’t think he would ever really deserve Oswald.  Luckily, Oswald didn't seem to realise it.

Earlier, after Jim had driven them both home following their last goodbye to Gertrud, they had been sitting quietly on the sofa, just bathing in the comfort of each other's presence.  Then the silence was broken:

“What?”  Jim quizzed, gazing at Oswald curiously.

“What do you mean ‘what’, James?”

“You just gave me - well, a look -  and I’m not sure what you meant by it.”

“Ah.  Hmmmm.  You noticed." 

Oswald giggled nervously. 

"Hey, what's the matter?" Jim asked, reaching out and running his finger down Oswald's arm.

 "Well, Jim - um, promise you won't laugh....”

“Of course I won’t, sweetheart.”  Jim’s touch slid down to Oswald's hand and he held it fast.

“Well, then - it was that man, the one who had that young child with him - a boy.  We drove past them on the way here.  Did you see them?”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember.  I think the boy was his son.  He was carrying him on his  shoulders, and they were both laughing.”

“Yes, yes Jim, that’s who I mean.  A father and son.  They looked so happy!”

“Yes, they did, didn’t they?”  Jim smiled.  “So - what was it about them that caught your attention, Ozzy?”

“Well,  just after we passed them, and I had noticed them, I was compelled to look at you, and I was overcome with a feeling I never experienced before.  It was a strange sensation, but it was warm, and it felt good.  That's why I looked at you the way I did, and then again just now, as I remembered it, with the feeling and expression I can't explain.”

“Ah.”  Jim’s smile grew, and he gave Oswald's hand a squeeze.

“What, Jim?”

“Wow.”  Jim shook his head slowly.  “Ozzy - I think I might have an explanation for this!”

"Do you?  Then can you please explain it to me, James?”"

Jim's deep blue gaze focused fondly on his lover's  bemused face.

“Ozzy,” he said gently,  “I actually think you might be getting - well - a bit on the broody side!”

“Broody?  What?  Me? Jim, be serious!  I mean, really.   I’ve never, ever thought about having children.  In fact, whenever I have had the misfortune to cross paths with any, I have always seen them as a nuisance!” Oswald protested, wrinkling his nose with distaste.

Then he saw Jim’s expression, and instantly felt remorseful.

“Look, Jim,” he said apologetically, straightening his face,  “I don’t mean to be insensitive.  I’m just being honest with you….”

“Yeah, I know, Ozzy.  I know you might say you don’t want kids, but  - well,  listen, sweetheart.  I’ll let you in on a little secret, and this time you’ve gotta promise ME not to laugh."

"Of course, Jim. I wouldn’t do that to you.  And I'm sorry to respond so insensitively.   I can see this matter is important to you.”

"Thanks.  And it's ok, Ozzy.  It’s better that we’re honest and open with each other.   And now I’m going to be honest and open with you.  This is something I never told anyone, and I trust YOU not to think I’m being ridiculous.   Anyway - Lee and I discussed having kids once or twice, when we were getting on a lot better, a while ago.  You know, me coming home, her being there  with our kids, a cosy little family.  And yet, no matter how  I tried,  I just couldn’t visualise that scene.   That was one of the things that drove us apart in the end.   But, Ozzy - whenever I look at you, I can DEFINITELY see us having kids together.”  Jim bit his lip, broke into an awkward boyish grin, and his cheeks became tinged with pink.  

“Awww.  Really, Jim?”  Oswald arched his black brows with amazement. "You can see us at home, all comfy cosy - two dads and our kids running round us - a family?"

“Yep, Ozzy.  I’m sure of it.  You know that time you cried out ‘I want your babies’ when we were making love?  Although I responded with something like  'what the hell?'  and then we laughed it off, well, when I had time to think about it, I realised that I really could see you as a dad - even a birth dad!”    Jim chuckled shyly.

“A birth dad?!  Hmmm.  That is impossible though, isn’t it, Jim?  Men don't - and can’t - have babies, can they?" Oswald pondered, knitting his brows thoughtfully.

“Well, true - not at the moment, anyway.  But Ozzy - remember, this is Gotham, and in this city, anything is possible, isn't it?  Never say never!” Jim shrugged, smiling hopefully.

“Well, there, you do have a point,” Oswald acknowledged, cocking his head and smiling back.  “But, seriously, Jim,” he probed,  “do you really think we could be - well, parents?  The two of us, especially given this situation we find ourselves in?”

“Yes, I do, sweetheart - despite everything - or even,  because of it.  And I think that, deep down, you kinda feel that way too.”

“Oh.  Hmmm.”  Oswald pursed and stretched his lips as he reflected on what Jim had said for a moment.

 “Well,”  he resumed, nodding slowly and stretching his jet brows thoughtfully, “now you come to mention it, Jim - having children together - even in the biological sense -   isn't beyond the realms of possibility.  After all - I love you and you love me,  and we owe it to my mother, and your parents, to give them grandchildren, don’t we?  And why else would I have looked at you like that, and had that reaction?  I suppose, subconsciously,  I must be feeling a little ‘broody’, as you put it.  And that is no bad thing when you love someone as deeply as I love you.”  

Oswald locked gazes with Jim and his dimples grew.   There was a twinkle deep within his eyes.

“Awwww.  That’s - well, beautiful, Ozzy.  And I’m so relieved to hear you say out loud what I hoped you felt, you know, about kids and all.   You’ve made me so happy.  And - sweetheart, when you say those things - and look at me like that - I know that nothing is impossible."

“Ahhh, James.  As ever, you melt my heart with your honeyed words.  We need to explore this matter further - and soon.   But...Jim, however we achieve it, I agree wholeheartedly that we should give my mother..and your parents, too, of course...grandchildren.  The more I think about it, the more it occurs to me that it really does make perfect sense ...”

“Ah, sweetheart - so now you’ve thought about it, do you really want to have kids with me, at some point?”

“Yes, Jim.  Of course I do.  I love you, and I would really  love us to have a family.  But first, I would want to make sure we both ensured a safe haven for our children.  A Gotham where they would feel safe and protected.  Free to walk the street without the likes of the Galavans and their ilk threatening their lives, as well as threatening to destroy all that’s around them.  Do you agree?”

“Yes Ozzy.  Of course I agree.”

“And - now I’ve thought about it -  I would carry your children gladly, dear, I would love to think of your child growing inside my belly, if it became possible.   But in the meantime, I would be willing to adopt a child, or maybe even more than one, who we could give a home to - who we could love and protect.”  

Oswald’s eyes suddenly lit up with excitement.

“Oh, Jim, maybe I could even open an orphanage - in my mother’s name!  It would be the perfect tribute to her - what do you think?”

“Well, I think that’s a great idea, Oz.  But as you said, we both need to work to ensure  a safe city for our future family - wherever, and whoever they happen to come from."

Jim gently laid his hand on his belly. Oswald gasped with surprise.

“I know you would make a great birth dad, if you are ever given the chance, Ozzy," Jim continued.  "And we would give our kids so much love!  I’ll hold you to your offer, Mr Cobblepot,  if it ever becomes feasible for men to give birth - safely -  in this city."

Oswald put his hand over Jim's, holding it firmly in place.

"That was so poetically expressed, my dear, again you don't fail to warm my heart.   I hope one day I will get the opportunity to keep my promise, I know now that they weren’t just empty words said in the heat of passion, I really meant them.  And oh Jim, we couldn't fail to have the prettiest kids with you as their father.  You with your boyish good looks."

"And you, with your beauty and brains in their genes, means we definitely couldn't fail.  Awww Ozzy, you're perfect.  I would love to see them  inherit your eyes ...and those dimples.  Little duplicate Cobblepots….running everywhere…."

"Causing mayhem, no doubt," Oswald cut in with a chuckle.  “If they are anything like me!”

"I am sure you were a very well-behaved child,” Jim argued with a smile.  “I was a real tearaway when I was a boy, so they might well be little troublemakers if they take after me!  But anyway, sweetheart -  however they start out,  I’m sure they will grow up to be real pillars of the community.  Maybe they’ll even go into politics!"

"Slow down, Jim, you're going too fast!"  Oswald laughed. "Anyway,” he continued more solemnly,  “however they turn out, we will love them, won't we?"

"Of course we will. How could I not love them with your blood running through their veins?"

"James - dearest!  I swear you get profounder by the second…and thank you….I love you so much.”  

Some time later, as Oswald and Jim prepared to take on the Galavans and rescue Bruce Wayne from their murderous clutches:

"Oswald, please, put on the bullet proof vest!" Jim pleaded, as they all prepared to go into battle.

"Jim, honestly! You know I am virtually indestructible…." Oswald retorted impatiently.

"Ozzy, please, don’t argue…."

"Geez, you two," cut in Harvey with exasperation.  "We can’t stand round here arguing while Galavan gets away with killing the son of Gotham. Put on the damn vest already and let’s go!"

"Thanks Harv," Jim murmured gratefully as Oswald reluctantly put on his armour, grumbling under his breath. Jim hoped fervently that he would never need it, but, better safe than sorry.

He would never forgive himself if the King of Gotham - his precious Oswald - was harmed.

Jim knew he would kill to save Oswald if he had to.  He wouldn't hesitate….

[douxreviews]

Gotham - ‘I Am Bane’ Review

Eduardo: "Eduardo is dead, Jim. There is only Bane!"

How fitting that the title of this week's episode is 'I Am Bane' – because this episode also turned out to be the bane of my week.

To understand where I'm coming from, I need to preface this review briefly with my take on the character itself of Bane. First introduced into DC Comics in 1993, Bane's origin is wonderfully rich and distinguished as elaborated upon in Batman: Knightfall. Fans of Batman that aren't immensely familiar with the comics who dismiss Bane as a one-note villain whose only defining trait is his super-strength can be forgiven, because every live-action adaptation of this character simply fails to live up to the layered, dark-parallel of Batman that's featured in the comics. And a big reason for this is due to the major retoolings of Bane's origin with each adaptation. To put in other words, I don't mind that Gotham wants to shake up Bane's uprising, I just mind very much so that he's actually really boring by the end of it all. He doesn't feel much like somebody who is nuanced or unique when compared to other gunslinger characters, and at the end of the day, all Gotham has given us is a brooding hulk with a stick-up-his-rear who's put briefly at the mercy of Hollywood Healing to get his powers.

Not-Amanda-Waller (Jaime Murray) squirrels Eduardo away and has Hugo Strange, who's essentially Gotham's walking deus ex machina now when it comes to surgeries and resurrections, grant Eduardo his signature super-strength. Eduardo goes on to lead an arsenal of goons to interrupt a gathering between Gordon and the U.S. military, quite easily wiping the floor with trained policemen and soldiers all just to get to Gordon and Bruce. As far as suspensions of disbelief go, Gotham's finally gotten me to draw a doggone line in the sand and say "You know Gotham, I like spending time with you and all, but you really didn't think you could just show essentially Bob Parr in a Cruella de Vil coat tossing a few gas canisters, and effectively subduing at least a dozen serviceman who possess firearms and the training to respond rapidly to calamities like this, and not think I wouldn't raise questions?"

Yes, as it turns out, Eduardo is but another cog in the grand scheme of Not-Amanda-Waller's plot to plunge Gotham City into absolute destruction and ruin, relying on the aid of her mysterious organization that supposedly has eyes and ears everywhere, and...oh for goodness' sake Gotham, I get that you so badly want to be The Dark Knight Rises, but couldn't you at least be a little bit more subtle about it? I've seen disguises sported by Count Olaf that were more low-key than this episode's allusions.

Not-Amanda-Waller reveals herself here as Nyssa Al Ghul, the daughter of Ra's Al Ghul. From there on, any remaining trace of threat Nyssa exuded was eradicated. To begin with, I don't really care how much Nyssa wants to babble about how the League of Assassins or Shadows (or whatever they're calling themselves in Gotham) is on a mission to actually protect the world by destroying Gotham City, because once she reveals that she has a vendetta against Bruce and Barbara, this is all her entire undertaking ever seems to feel about: she hates Bruce and Barbara because they are directly responsible for the death of her father. Which only compounds my issues with this episode even further; wasn't it explicitly stated over and over in Season 4 that Ra's wanted to die? It was the whole reason he needed that unique dagger Barbara and Bruce were competing to obtain, wasn't it? Secondly, if I'm expected to at least get a sense of understanding for Nyssa's motives and anger, I don't, simply because Gotham never took the time to ever explore what kind of dynamic Nyssa had with her father; what kind of relationship did they hold, did she idolize her father, was Ra's training both Nyssa and Barbara to become possible heirs to the League which has led Nyssa to resent Barbara? Who knows? Thirdly, how does Nyssa even know it's Bruce and Barbara specifically that killed Ra's? Last I checked, Ra's death in Season 4's finale was only witnessed by Bruce, Barbara, Jeremiah, Tabitha, and Oswald.

What's even more amusing is that before Nyssa even identifies herself, she has Eduardo torture Gordon just as a way to get Bruce to try and figure out for himself who she might be. And as heart-wrenching as David Mazouz's performance is, it's too easy for the audience to side with Bruce as well, and wonder aloud in bewilderment at our television set over who this woman is, when we haven't had any buildup or hints whatsoever to her identity. Of course Bruce can't figure out who you are sweetie, your dad never even mentioned you to him!

While all of this is unraveling, a very twisted rendition of Gilligan's Island – consisting of Oswald, Ed and Barbara – is about to set sail aboard their newly-configured submarine, but the excursion is cut short when Barbara goes into labor. This is where I was kind of hoping Gotham would give us an indication of where we are in the timeline because wasn't it only four episodes ago that Barbara even dropped the bombshell that she was with child? I admit I've also never been present around what an actual childbirth is like, but Erin Richards absolutely is convincing enough, to the point that I'd even say she had the best performance of the entire episode. Once Nyssa sends Eduardo to kill Barbara, the dynamic duo of Ozzie and Ed cobbles together a few traps to buy Barbara enough time to escape, complete with endearing screaming fits from Ozzie, and Ed's pettiness needing to get the last word in to Lee ("For the record, you stabbed me first!")!

This fustercluck of an episode ends with Barbara successfully giving birth to her and Gordon's daughter, a genuinely touching moment, while Eduardo, just to further remind the audience that he is indeed Bane, breaks Alfred's back. Once again, all of my sympathies just go out to poor Alfred, for so many of the horrific injuries and torment that Bruce had to go through in the comics just seem to get shifted on to Alfred in Gotham. Apart from Erin Richards' performance and Ozzie and Ed always being a ton of fun together, there's not much else in this episode that gets me eager to see this merit-less conflict's resolution, in four weeks no less. I used to always remind myself during prior seasons that things may have to get worse before they get better, but with Gotham nearing the final curtain call, perhaps this episode's final scene of Gotham City being air-bombed is appropriate symbolism for the end – perhaps things only get worse.

Aaron Studer loves spending his time reading, writing and defending the existence of cryptids because they can’t do it themselves.