#not just one group? we’re all trans and all get treated like it??

[trans-androgyne]

I do personally feel that transmisogyny as a system is far more pervasive/normalized than transandrophobia and that it results in more physical violence/hate crimes. But this turns into claiming “trans women have it worse than trans men,” which a) isn’t true for everyone and b) isn’t a conversation that I think we should be having/that means anything in practice. Why are we comparing whose experience is worse? Especially when the rhetoric around trans women and trans men is so different? It’s very much like weighting the experiences of gay men versus lesbian women — they’re going to be different. They shouldn’t be compared.

[joelsdagger]

i’ve made and deleted this post quite a few times over the last couple of days. and at first, i wasn’t going to say anything because this doesn’t even cover what i wanted to say by even a little, but ultimately, seeing a few others make similar posts encouraged me, and i really just need to get this off my chest, and if it resonates with one person, then i’m happy. this is not coherent at all, but like many, my brain is mush, so forgive me, and here we go...

as a (closeted) queer palestinian american woman, a daughter to immigrant parents, living in a fairly conservative state, i’m fucking terrified. i don’t have faith my rights are protected here. i don’t have faith that my parents and my sisters will be safe every time they step out of the house (in true typical arab fashion; i am white passing, they are not). my family has been targeted and met with violence numerous times since october of last year, and it's only going to get worse. which brings me to my next point.

i also don’t have faith that the genocide in gaza (that has now expanded to south lebanon and syria) is coming to an end, an end where palestinians can live and thrive in their native land anytime soon. and seeing people turn on us — so fast, spewing hate in saying “fuck palestine”, “fuck boycotting” and “you don’t care about my rights, so i don’t care about yours,” is incredibly saddening, disappointing, and infuriating. my grief, anger, and anxiety are at their peak and have been at their peak for well over a year now. and i don't have the brain capacity to say what i really want to say about the hatred and misplaced anger being directed towards arabs, but for now i will say this: 

now is not the time to turn on one another. now is not the time for infighting within marginalized groups. now is not the time to be selfish. to care about yourselves and not others, makes you no better than them. that is why this country is so divisive in the first place. that is how we got here. having that mentality — that ideology is dangerous and destructive. you are doing the work for white supremacists. you are perpetuating white supremacy. and it isn’t going to serve any of us because essentially our struggles as oppressed groups are deeply interconnected. we need to look out for one another. take care of one another. it will get worse before it gets better. and we’re only at the tip of the iceberg.

the fight isn’t over; we’re just getting started. and i know you’re tired; i, for one, am at my breaking point. but we cannot let them win. so let yourself feel whatever it is you need to feel right now: grief, anger, sadness, hurt, whatever it is; it's all valid, and believe me, you are not alone. take the time to feel it. and then let it fuel you and your ambitions.

i also want to reiterate that this is a safe space for all. except anyone who believes trump is a good man and voted for that racist, fascist, rapist piece of shit. y’all can fuck right off. the rest of you: disabled people, chronically ill people, queer people, aro-ace people (i’m specifically pointing you out because i know how we're treated in queer spaces, and it is not fair nor is it right), trans people, women, people of color, sexual assault survivors — if you're reading this and you're unsure of your place, please stay. i need you. i care about you. this place and this world are better with you in it. you are welcome here. you are safe here.

i’ll be here for anyone who needs it, whether it’s to chat about silly little fandom things — it’s imperative we protect this space and continue to encourage the creation of art around here. it’s imperative we stop normalizing the censorship and policing of fandom spaces (because that's another reason how we got here). fandom spaces are communities, and very often they are the only spaces where people feel safe. for most (myself included), it’s all we have left — or whether you want to vent about how much you hate the state of the world — you'll always have a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on in this tiny little nook here. seriously. my inbox and dm's are always open. 

hold each other close. protect one another. the only way we’re going to get through this is if we stand together and continue putting in the work, because it’s times like this when the real work begins.

i’m sending you all so so much love. forever and always.

noelle xx

[shaingles]

This post might come off out of left field, since it’s unrelated to what I usually post, but i need to scream into the void.

• Transmisogyny is a term for trans women/fems. Not trans men or trans mascs. Trans women and trans fems.

Idk why, but I’m seeing an influx of people (mostly on tiktok) trying to convince trans men/mascs that bigotry uniquely targeted towards us is called either “regular transphobia,” “regular misogyny,” or “transmisogyny,” usually in response to a trans man/masc refereeing to it as transandrophobia or anti-transmasculinity. Additionally I’ve seen people try to say that “transandrophobia/Anti-transmasculinity doesn’t exist” because “trans women/fems have it worse.” Tiktok commenters are good at one thing, and it’s being LOUD AND WRONG !!! And its always cis “allies” doing this. Why are we pitting trans people against each other hello??

• Anti-transmasculinity exists, and we are presented with it constantly. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize that trans men/mascs are treated differently from trans women/fem—and no, it’s not trans men/mascs being “more privileged,” because we’re not. The victimization and infantilization of trans men/mascs (“confused young girls” rhetoric) is a good example of Anti-transmasculinity. Another is r*dfems/t*rfs calling us “gender traitors” and saying we “hating ourselves.” Being treated as a fetish, while affecting all trans people, varies differently depending on the group targeted, like how black people are fetishized, but black women are fetishized differently from black men. Ergo, trans men/mascs face a unique kind of fetishization (mostly from cis men) that differs from trans women/fems. With these few examples in mind, this leads to my next point…

• Trans men/mascs are NOT Cis men!

Why are so many people so willing to ignore/dismiss trans-masculinity struggles just because trans-masculinity just so happen to include men?? Why are trans men being treated the same way as cis men?? Did y’all forget the TRANS part in TRANS men??

Just because a trans man is a man, doesn’t mean he suddenly gains male privilege, especially if he’s openly queer or don’t fit conventional gender norms. The only ones that do are the ones that pass, and not every trans man is a cishet-passing individual. It’s even more egregious when the target is a white trans man/masc, because suddenly people forget that trans men/mascs of color don’t exist, and when they do remember us they act like trans men/mascs of color have the same “privileges” as white trans men/mascs, or even cis white men because “male privilage” and/or “AFAB privilege (???)” im sorry, what???

Im a pre-t & pre-op black transmasc, I don’t recall gaining the privilege of a cis white man just because i go by he/they 🤔 I must’ve missed the update or something.

Anywho to sign this off: These are probably uninformed children or trolls causing an unnecessary divide between the community + its tiktok + it’s better to battle transphobia/transmisogyny/anti-transmasculinity irl than online, so honestly I shouldn’t let these obtuse things get to me. I’m just putting this here to get it out my brain.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for defending my friend from their wife?

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 < to find later

This has been bothering me for months and I need an outside perspective. I’m (24X) in a group of friends that consists of several people including a married couple, Alex and Caitlyn. I have known both of them for the same amount of time, so it’s not as if I feel like Caitlyn is intruding on our friendship or anything. We’re all in our 20s.

We’ve been playing D&D together for over a year and have been friends for longer, and Alex is the Dungeon Master and the rest of us are players. Their wife, Caitlyn, is very aggressive toward Alex when they DM— yelling at them, calling them names like “a fucking bitch,” screaming at them to shut up, and withholding affection when they play NPCs (i.e. the villains) and deal damage against Caitlyn’s character, which they of course are also dealing against the rest of us— there’s no unfair targeting happening. She also refuses to do her own basic math at the table, and gets mad at Alex if they don’t add a single-digit number to her dice rolls for her. Alex never returns this behavior, as far as I can see.

For additional context, Caitlyn holds VERY questionable opinions about race, gender, and sexuality, even though she herself is queer. She misgenders the trans players at the table (correcting herself occasionally) and is a massive Harry Potter fan, even posting things online like “I don’t care, I’m still going to play Hogwarts Legacy.” This is bizarre to me because Alex is one of the kindest, most third-eye-open people I know, esp when it comes to social and political issues.

All of these factors have caused tension at the table, and I’m worried that I’m simply biased against Caitlyn for her questionable views. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I don’t want to insert myself into someone’s marriage, but it’s very upsetting to see my friend being treated like this, and I know I’m not the only person at the table who has noticed it. It feels like verbal abuse.

So WIBTA if I spoke up at the D&D table whenever Caitlyn treats Alex like that (yelling, name-calling, withholding affection, etc.)? Just to say things like “Come on, man” or “Let’s be nice” or “They’re just playing the character”?

[loveless-arobee]

I am extremely sick of trans allies and other trans people alike just repeating terf rhetoric when it comes to trans men and transmascs.

Like. Good, you learnt how to recognise terf dogwhistles when it comes to transfems. Cool. Why are you still repeating the lie that there somehow is an epidemic of women transitioning into trans men because of "internalised misogyny"? Why are you repeating the lie that all women want to be men because of patriarchy and misogyny, therefore trans men can’t know for sure they’re trans men, ever, actually? Why the fuck are you repeating the lie that there is somehow suddenly a massive influx of detransitioners because of that? (There isn’t. There’s a few right wing grifters that got made into cash-cows. But those exist within every single group ever. Detransitioning women aren’t a special case, and most of them aren’t even fucking transphobic. You just only see the ones that are.)

And why do you think the conclusion that we we should therefore make transition for transmasculine people even harder so those poor little women (trans men) don’t mistake their internalised misogyny for gender dysphoria :( those stupid little girls (again, trans men!) don’t know what they’re doing, we’re just trying to protect them! They’re to stupid to differentiate between their misogynistic selfhate and gender dysphoria. We must make sure they don’t make a massive mistake by ~destroying their beautiful feminine bodies~ with transitioning, so we must make sure only real trans men get access to trans health care. And of course it’s up to us, women, to decide who is a real man and who is a dumb little "woman" who needs to be protected from herself.

???

The fuck.

Why did I just hear a TRANS WOMAN of all people say this? I knew cis women fall for terf rhetoric all the time (especially this kind, because somehow people understand that when terfs say men they actually mean trans women, but don’t get that sometimes, when they say girls or women, they mean trans men…) and I stopped being surprised or pissed at that a long time ago. I’m just tired of these supposedly well meaning cis women by now. But other trans people? I expect better of my own community.

Like, yes. Most cis women will have the experience of wishing they'd be treated with the same respect as cis men. But if that wish is not "I want to be treated with respect" but "I wish I was a man" that probably isn't a cis woman talking! And you shouldn't tell that to them. "Oh, that's normal - every cis woman feels they'd be much happier as a man and hates their bodies! That's just misogyny!" Not they do not. Please allow trans men and transmascs to exist. These "women" could be much happier if you allowed them to question their gender and to life as the gender they actually are, not tell them they're just depressed cis women and there's nothing they can do about it.

Every cis woman in my life knows very surely they are women and don't want to be men. They just do not like how they're treated because of it. But they want to be treated better *as women*.

(Also: all of this rhetoric is just completely ignoring the fact that trans men suffer from so much more misogyny than cis women, plus transphobia on top of it. Which is. Not good. And part of the reason why transmasculine people have the highest rate of sexual and domestic abuse rates among every gender group and no one does anything about it because they just assume that we're men so therefore nothing bad will ever happen do usand just forget that we're specifically trans men. But they make this assumption and therefore do not listen to us. Trans "allies" and other trans people would really rather listen to cis women (who are totally not transphobic /s) about OUR experiences or make completely baseless assumption than listen to trans men. Really fucked up.)

[velvetvexations]

the posts about “lone trans woman in a friend group who is miserable” makes me sad bc i was in a big friend group in college, and one of our friends was a lone trans woman who did genuinely think we all secretly hated her. our crimes were gassing her up and helping her through negative thought spirals. she thought we all had a secret agenda, that we were lying when we told her she was beautiful and things would get better. she honestly viewed genuine compliments as secret insults and covert acts of trans misogyny. i know this because she told me that every time we hype her up, she *knows* that we’re lying to her. that we secretly viewed her as disgusting etc. she especially viewed compliments from cis women as trans misogynist micro aggressions, despite us constantly telling her that it’s very normal for cis women to say nice little compliments to each other, even to total strangers. i know trans women are treated horribly, but a lot of the times your friends just love you, a lot of the times a cis girl saying “i love your makeup” is just a compliment. it’s not a secret agenda we just love you

it sounds like that friend had a lot of things going on but people like that don't need radfem rhetoric reinforcing their reasons for badly needing a therapist

[edandstede]

being trans in the uk is exhausting. it’s dire and hopeless and i’m tired. tories trying to roll back our rights and healthcare, they don’t want us to piss in public, it would take me years on the nhs just to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis in order to even begin accessing surgeries and hormones, i gotta use up most of my raised funds just on private consultations alone and i’m one of the lucky ones who has funds at all. most surgeons won’t even chop your tits off if your bmi is too high even though bmi is fucking bullshit. we’re suffering and dying, being fucking murdered while our prime minister makes transphobic jokes in parliament, suicide rates are rocketing. we’re debated talking points and punchlines on your racist uncle’s facebook posts and our youth are treated like they’re just being brainwashed into thinking they’re trans. some of you can’t let go of the mediocre wizard books written by a millionaire terf who funds anti-trans groups just because you grew up with them, and you’re so out of touch with reality. hell so many cis gays hate us too even though to everyone else we’re all indiscernible from one another. if they’re putting me on the chopping block then you’re next so why are you helping them curl the fists they’ll use to beat you with too? every angle is just a nightmare to navigate and some people still think it’s a choice. i can’t take it anymore.

[lillyspeakz]

hello! can u please do a fic w/ a trans man reader where we take care of Will after the concert? not necessarily romantic, more like one-sided (w/ feelings from reader's side)? it's been in my head for two days now, i dunno what to do with it🙏😭

a/n: hello ! I love this concept so much, and I hope I do the request justice! Also the ending is kinda shit but- if you want a part 2, I gladly will do one.

heart in my hand (for you)

—

it was the first show back from the break the boys were on, and you all were on the edge of your seats, nervous for what may occur. Wil was pacing the small room, hands rubbing against each other and on his pants, trying to rub the sweat off of them. It killed you, seeing him so nervous for a set, knowing how excited he always was for things like this.

Walking up to him, you grabbed his hands in yours and squeezed, trying any method to ground him back to reality. Smiling up at him, reassuring him in any way he needs, soothing his now red hands. Pulling him over to the couch that was placed in the room with them, you sat down and gently pulled him with.

“You’re gonna do amazing Wil. Focus on the feeling, don’t worry about anyone else but enjoying yourself. They’re here to see you guys preform, give them a hell of a show, yeah?” You said to the anxious man in front of you. He silently played with your fingers that once held onto his hand, as he sent you a small smile, thanking you for being there.

“Ok guys, we’re going to take you to the stage now. You go on in 20 minutes, so we’ll start micing and all the fun things.” A stage manager came in and informed the group, everyone getting up and grabbing the necessary items. Wilbur ruffled your hair as you groaned, having to quickly fix the mess on your head, you secretly loved it though.

Wilbur knew you before you decided to transition, and when you told him he was there by your side through all of it. And you were by his through all of his troubles. He loved you all the same no matter what happened or who you were. You were still his best friend.

Best friend.

That word always tasted sour in your mouth when someone would use the label or you would say it. Yes you were his best friend but you wanted more, more of him. You wanted to have him in your life in a deeper level of connection, yet he never showed the same interest. It killed you on the inside every time, seeing him go through relationships and always end up pushed to the side and lower than ever. You wanted to treat him how he deserves, yet he didn’t see it. Never did.

You talked to so many people, trying to see if he ever talked about you in the way you talked about him, yet nothing. Many of his friends just told you to tell him, confess your feelings and see what he says. Yet you didn’t want to ruin the relationship you two already had. Every time he’d take your hand in his, look at you a little too long, always wanting your attention on him, you would get your hopes up for them just to get crushed.

“Hey love, we’re about to go on. Wish us luck yeah?” Your thoughts were interrupted as Wil came up to you and smiled. You quickly nodded and smiled back, following him over to where the rest of the crew stood, being able to see the whole stage. As they were queued out, screaming erupted from many in the crowd as the boys were seen.

A smile made its way up on your face as they started to play their set, singing along with them and the rest of the crowd. Wil turned around during one of the songs while strumming and smiled widely at you as you reciprocated the expression back, clapping and laughing at his excitement. He looked so natural up on the stage, like he was meant to preform infront of people. And in that moment he looked like he had no worries beside making sure he had the right chord down.

As the set came to a close, the boys said their thank you’s and waved at some people on the crowd before exiting off.

Running up to you, Wil lifted you up in his arms and swung you around, laughter ringing off of you, him and the rest of the band. “Thank you for being here with me.” Wilbur whispered to you as he set you down, pulling away from you slightly. His face was still close to yours, making you internally freak out.

“Always.” You whispered back to him as Joe grabbed his shoulders and jumped up and down in excitement. The atmosphere changed after the show, instead of nervous and anxious energy, it was filled with joy and excitement. As you all were walking back to the room you set camp at, you and Wil walked behind everyone, enjoying the quiet between the two.

“You guys were amazing.” You broke the silence as you voiced your thoughts from the show.

“For the first time being back, yeah. If you weren’t here I think I wouldn’t have gone on.” Wil confessed quietly, looking at you before going back to the sight on the group in front of him.

Smiling at him, you took his hand in yours and stepped closer to him. “Well I’ll be here, always. For anything and everything you want me to be there for.”

“Can I say everything?” Wil joked as he furrowed his eyes at you in question, laughing as you thought about that.

“Depends if your nice to me.” You said back. Wil rolled his eyes jokingly and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him.

“You’re the only person I’m always nice to love, I can never be mad at you.” Wil said as your heart sped up at the nickname and the confession. “Now come on, I have some interviews i have to attend and who knows how that will go.” Wil quickly changed the subject, grabbing your hand in his as he pulled you with him as he ran to the rest of the group.

As the day went on, you made sure Wil was drinking water and taking care of himself properly. Wil mentioned you in the interview, saying how you were the best person he could have as a friend and how he loved you very much for being there. You didn’t let it get you down. You just had to love him secretly, and that was enough for now. Making sure he was ok and taken care of was more important.

taglist: @horny-p0et

[iwanthermidnightz]

Just a few excerpts below, but please read the full article, it’s really good!

In their live shows and on The Record, the group take turns singing lead vocals, meaning they regularly get to stand a couple of feet away from the spotlight – which I sense is a more natural position for each of them. “[Touring is] way more fun together, and easy together,” says Dacus, addressing her bandmates. “It’s cute watching y’all have your little bit during ‘Cool About It’, and when you look at each other in ‘Anti-Curse’, I have no choice but to stan.” As a band, they share the weight of responsibility that they usually have to shoulder alone.

The crowds are so deeply engaged, not just because of the emotionally devastating content of the songs, but because of what Boygenius represents. They are a queer-identifying, all-female rock group in 2023, triumphantly landing themselves in spaces that used to be dominated entirely by straight men, such as their Rolling Stone cover earlier this year, in which they playfully replicated a classic 1994 photoshoot of Nirvana in business suits. And it’s not just that: they are rock stars in a very traditional sense – as their bombastic, thrashy live show, replete with stage diving et al, goes to show – who also sing songs every night about how much they love and appreciate one another. “We talk to each other about our feelings and process emotions as adults,” Baker says. “Instead of screaming at each other and throwing handles of vodka backstage.”

The band’s willingness to step up and wade into political issues has further solidified the bond they’ve formed with their fans. Earlier this summer, they performed in drag in Tennessee to protest against the state’s anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-drag laws. In May last year, when it was leaked that Roe v Wade would be overturned by the US Supreme Court, Bridgers shared on Twitter that she had undergone an abortion the previous year, alongside a link to a donation page. Young, vulnerable people are seeing their favourite rock band stand up for them – it’s powerful, and the love and appreciation the fans feel for that is clear during the live shows. At concerts throughout the year so far, there have been reports of people throwing things at artists – phones, wheels of brie, their dead mother’s ashes – but at Boygenius gigs, fans throw pink carnations, in reference to a line that Dacus sings in “We’re in Love” (“I’ll be the boy with the pink carnation pinned to my lapel”). “We’ve given a lot of who we are as people in our art, through interviews and social media,” Dacus says. “I think that’s maybe the silver lining of the parasocial relationship; they might want to treat us the way they treat their friends, instead of a mysterious, untouchable, unfazeable, unhurtable thing.”

Boygenius know that they’re speaking to – and at times, for – an underrepresented group, and it’s a point of great pride, a driving force in their work. “Being into our band is a dog whistle for the kind of kid that has similar interests,” says Baker.

“Like a sensitive gay baby,” adds Dacus.

“That is what makes [the job] meaningful to me,” says Baker. “To be away from my family when they need me to be there, to be doing things that I find inane or self-serving. I’m like, ‘Dang, look at all those kids’. Like, actually, there’s 25,000 little gay kids out there who’ve heard us talk about things like: be inside of your life. Pay attention to your friends. It’s worth it to live.”

The group have become the role models they wished they had themselves when they were growing up. “I think that if I had more queer and trans idols when I was younger, it would have felt more normal to me to engage with those things,” Dacus says. “And it’s gotten to the point of silliness, all of our stage antics and kissing at most of the shows, but I wish I had seen playful, joyful depictions of queerness.”

[oddlittlestories]

Notre Dame Visit

Wrote up a little fic to go with this WIP fanart! This is inspired by @greghatecrimes elaborating on my life changing field trips post, and is currently brought to you by Anya’s prompt re my Halloween fic ask game.

Fic under the cut.

Chase & Thirteen as found family siblings. They're backpacking through Europe. Late s6 AU, probably consistent w/HH:Reprise. Trans masc bi Chase as a treat.

CW: mild travel danger, religious irreverence, religious homophobia reference

��Are you sure? Are you sure you’re sure?” Chase whispered. Not that whispering was gonna help him. She was loud enough for the both of them.

“Yes, we’re fine," Thirteen cackled, "now take the damn photo.” She raised her middle finger to the ceiling of the cathedral. He supposed it was her way of sticking it to all that religious homophobia. They were a hell of a pair to be anywhere near a cathedral—a failed novice divorced bi trans guy with blood on his hands, and a deliberately-irreverent bi woman after House's own heart. But as Thirteen liked to say every time she dragged him into a cathedral, which seemed to be as often as possible, they hadn't spontaneously burst into flames even once.

That said, Chase could just imagine a priest clamping his hand firmly down on his arm… Chase hunched his shoulders, trying desperately to look over his shoulder and take the photo as fast as he could at the same time. Maybe no one would notice. If he could’ve melted into the Notre Dame floor he would have. It was mortifying.

He took the photo and lowered the phone as quickly as he could. Still, it came out pretty cool.

“Okay, let me see,” Thirteen said, scrambling for his iPhone.

“It’s fine,” Chase insisted, trying to tuck the phone back in his jacket pocket.

“I want to be sure! What if it’s blurry?” Thirteen made grabby hands, struggling with him over the device.

“It’s not blurry!” he insisted.

“Then show me!”

“Fine!” Chase heaved a sigh and let her have the phone.

She snickered. “Yeah that’s really good, you were right.” She sent the photo to House before he could even try to stop her. Chase rolled his eyes. As soon as House got it, he’d do what he’d done with the rest: print it out and tape it to the ddx whiteboard. Foreman would text him to complain about how hard it was to ddx “now that it was a scrapbook instead.” Kutner would use the red sharpie he bought to draw horns on Thirteen and Chase in the photos.

It was a group activity, apparently.

Later that night, Chase and Thirteen crammed shoulder to shoulder at the bar of a centuries-old pub. It wasn’t far from the hostel, and around them spilled French and English and a bunch more languages Chase probably could pick out if he tried.

“Mm, this is delicious,” Thirteen said. “Here, try.”

She didn’t have to tell him twice. He leaned in and took a crunchy bite. It was the best toasted cheese on bread Chase had ever had in his life. “Wow,” he mumbled, mouth full.

“I know, right?”

On their walk back to the hostel, the lights of Paris were glittering. It wasn’t nearly as quiet here as it was in rural Spain, and Chase thought they were both dazzled by the city after that. Paris was definitely a tourist town though. They cut down a side street for a shortcut to their hostel.

Thirteen got distracted by something in a shop window. He wasn’t sure what, because by the time he noticed she was just behind him, a guy was cutting between them. He was a street hawker, with “I heart Paris” lanyards hung all up one arm. And he was getting in Chase’s face, trying to grab him.

“Woah, there, buddy,” Chase said. “Hands to yourself.” But the guy would not lay off. He wasn’t sure what to do. He was probably gonna get pickpocketed if he did nothing. Or worse, he thought darkly, noticing how the guy was subtly directing him towards a dark alley.

And suddenly Thirteen was there.

She slipped her arm around Chase’s shoulders and said, “My brother and I have to go now.” It was just surprising enough that she scooped him away from the hawker and out into the busy cross-street.

“Thanks.” His voice was breathless with relief.

“Yeah, I did not like where that was going. You okay?”

Chase patted himself down, trying to ignore the way “brother” was rotating around in his head. Even if it didn't last… He frowned appraisingly. “Yeah. I’m great.”

Thirteen grinned and they headed into the hostel together, where their room with its two twin beds was waiting.

They had it down to a routine now, so it only took a moment for them to change and crawl into bed. Thirteen turned out the light, and Chase pulled his soft blanket up to his chest. In the darkness, it felt safe to say things. He played the word brother over and over in his head. He knew it was true. But how often do you get that kind of thing confirmed? “I’m glad we made this trip. Me and you.”

“Me, too.” Her voice was warm.

It had been a hard year, but right here and right now, Chase was so, so happy.

[maddiviner]

Hey I saw your posts about the Simulation/Matrix cult. I can’t find them myself but I’m wondering if they had any opinion on being trans, since the movie was created by trans women and had references to that?

The simulation cult isn’t a cult in the traditional sense, at least not yet. 

It’s just a bunch of people who, for whatever reason, are drawn to the idea that we’re “in the Matrix” and want to spew about it. I guess in five or ten years, someone with charisma could show up and start a proper cult out of it? Thus far, it’s super toxic, but they argue too much to count as a cult, I’d say. Cults are typically more controlling. Toxic ideas? Sure. Cult? Nah, not so far.

To answer your question, though, most of the simulation conspiracy theory folks are virulent bigots, I’ve noticed, particularly with regards to LGBTQ issues. This is probably why the Wachowski sisters very rarely get mentioned. This is despite using terms like “Mr. Smith, “Matrix,” etc culled from the film the duo made.

In some cases there’s comments and posts seemingly treating the movie as some kind of documentary almost. 

Their fascination with it is very surface-level, mostly concerned with the plot rather than any symbolism or (oddly) deeper meaning. If you really look at the movie, there’s a lot to chew on, but they’re not really doing that. 

At one point, someone in the Facebook groups tried to read some of the works of Jean Baudrillard, because the Wachowskis put his book in the film. That didn’t go well because apparently Baudrillard makes no sense to them. I’m not saying I myself understand Baudrillard , but like… c’mon, if this is so important, put in some effort, people…

I’ve seen some of ‘em say that they believe the Wachowski sisters weren’t trans to begin with, but that the simulation rewrote itself and the past to “discredit” them by adding that. Others have simply claimed that The Matrix wasn’t actually made by the duo - their name was put on it for nefarious purposes, presumably, again, to “discredit” the film’s message? 

It doesn’t make a lot of sense, like most conspiracy theories. If we’re in a simulation that’s so closely-controlled, why allow the movie to be made at all? Especially if it’s supposedly so close to being a “documentary” of the truth? 

Anyways, they tend to roll their general bigotry into the simulation theory stuff, too. The programmers of the simulation, the bad guys/robots/NPCs, whatever, tend to be whoever the person feels like targeting.

One guy commented that “the LGBTQs are all Smiths cuz if you simply disagree with them, they will cancel you.” Right next to a .gif of Mr. Smith from that film made by the Wachowski sisters. This is why aliens don’t talk to us, pretty sure. 

By this, he meant that he saw LGBTQ folks as de facto NPCs, particularly the evil sort actively controlled by the programmers. He likely wouldn’t have been able to describe what he meant by “cancel” or name one genuine bad thing that’d happened for him for “disagreeing.” 

In another thread, I saw someone comment that the religion-based discussions popping up on the group “don’t really engender much good discussion.” A guy saw the word engender, I guess, and assumed it meant something to do with gender. He popped back with some business about how “…you can’t engender things! Are you TRIGGERED by that?” I think someone eventually linked him to the definition of engender. I can only assume he’s still recovering from the shame of that moment. 

A lot of these people were probably right wing to begin with, probably had a conspiracy theorist streak to begin with. But still, it reads like their personalities and political beliefs formulated around 2011-2013 and they never grew any further. I gotta say that had to have been the first time in ages I’d heard that “lol triggered” thing used non-ironically. 

So yes. The simulation theory people are massive transphobes. Are you surprised? I wasn’t.

I’m considering abandoning this little project of lurking these groups because they’re starting to affect the way the Facebook algorithm feeds the rest of my account - I’m seeing more right-wing stuff.

I recognize and ignore/block it, but it’s there and annoying, and frustrating because there’s nothing I can do besides that.

It’s not like I’m skilled enough to change anyone’s mind about these deeply-held conspiracy theories. I don’t enjoy watching online train wrecks for their own sake. I get that some people do, but it seems unhealthy.

I ended up in these groups because I have epilepsy, and references to it in the groups themselves caused them to pop up on my feed (some of them think epilepsy, specifically, is a Matrix glitch - long story). 

I might dig into my settings and see about muting these groups for a while, just to get my feed a little more clean. I’m spending less and less time on Facebook, but there’s reasons for being there, I guess.

If it were only awful people on Facebook as a whole like that, I’d be outta the site in a heartbeat, but I got buddies still on there.

[just-antithings]

Not really an anti thing per se, but something I feel the need to vent about:

One of the reasons I feel so conflicted on the Harry Potter thing is not only my concerns about continuing to give Rowling a platform, but also just, unpopular opinion, I… kinda think the fandom can be almost as performative as the haters?

I KNOW HOW THAT SOUNDS BUT HEAR ME OUT!

First off: they’re always going on about how "oh, we’re making ALL the hp characters trans to piss off the TERF!" and then you look at the fics and art and stuff and it’s like, at least 80-90% is just the same cookie cutter "Draco and Harry are gay trans men who make out 24/7 and there's some trans gay WolfStar in the background too, I guess, and also maybe black trans Hermione can have a cameo at some point as a treat, but who cares because it’s Drarryin' Time! *proceeds to Drarry all over AO3*" fics.

Like… why is it that after Rowling announced her status as a card-carrying fascist, "all the hp characters" suddenly became just Harry, Draco, Remus, Sirius and maybe Hermione if you're lucky? ESPECIALLY considering the fact that I know from experience that the fandom used to have way more diversity headcanons than this?

What about Ron "angsty because his mom wanted a daughter" Weasley? Or Neville and Hannah, who never had children (clearly, one of them is trans! Or maybe both are trans AND ace! Two groups Rowling hates for the price of one!)? Where are the Trans Dean/Seamus and Trans Lavender/Parvati fics? Trans Luna??? One of Bill and Fleur's kids being the first known male Veela hybrid in the series (literally a fuckin' goldmine of gender possibilities)???? What about fuckin' Nymphadora "gender nonconforming shapeshifter who hates her traditionally feminine name" Tonks (if ANY character would’ve been made trans or enby to spite Rowling, I’d have thought Tonks and her son Teddy would be the FIRST choices)???? EBONY DEMENTIA DARKNESS RAVEN WAY (objectively the BEST Harry Potter character)??!!!????

Part of me suspects that this is at least partly because these characters aren’t "popular" and therefore won't get the same attention as the Drarry "rivals to lovers" vibe and the All The Young Dudes spin-offs, but I can’t be fully sure of that.

And like… a lot of times it looks like their activism just, begins and ends with fandom activity? A lot of the same questions levied at HP haters ("are you supporting and/or donating to pro-trans causes?" "Are you making an effort to understand WHY TERF ideology is bad?" etc., all 100% valid questions) can also be levied against fans who make their headcanons and shipping the main source of their activism.

I’m not saying that NO hp fans are doing actual activism, I’ve seen a few examples, but it feels to me at least like the majority are not. It just seems they think shipping Harry and Draco whilst transing them to pretend it makes the TERF seethe (when really she probably doesn’t even know your fanfic exists) is a substitute for activism, just as HP haters think hating the series and patting themselves on the back for not reading it when they were twelve is a substitute for activism.

I guess the bright side is that at least the Drarry shippers aren’t harassing people? There are testimonies from trans people about hp fans harassing them, but the majority of those fans obviously wouldn’t also be writing trans Drarry fics so ehh?

Idk, like I said I’m conflicted and I need to vent. I’ve been holding this vent in for a while now.

I guess my thesis statement here is: HP fandom, if y'all really want to "diversify Harry Potter to spite the TERF", then please for the love of Glaux ADD MORE CHARACTERS AND IDENTITIES TO YOUR HEADCANON ROSTER.

.

[courtofmatchups]

Hey hey! Your matchups are open? Could I get one for Obey Me! please, when you’ve got time?

Appearance: 5’5”, a little heavier set but it’s muscle too - especially in arms and legs. Im a trans guy. Fluffy brown hair, really pale (sun allergy…), with green eyes. I wear glasses and tend to stick to casual clothing - blue jeans, black band tees, black smallish ear gauges, sometimes I wear a pride bracelet or a silver chain necklace. I have multiple tattoos, with some on my wrists, my forearms, my chest, and the back of my neck. Nothing flashy or crazy, it’s all black ink stuff, mostly game references or spooky stuff

Star sign: Libra!

Sexuality: Demisexual with a strong preference for men

Personality: very introverted but not shy or bad around people. I’m actually very good at pretending to be very social and people rarely know I’d rather be home, it’s just draining to chat with strangers and I end up needing to be alone for a couple days after. I tend to prefer solo activities or one-on-one time with one or two close friends, but doing big group stuff once in a while is fun too! I’m a sort of “go with the flow” type and let others lead the way in activities and conversations, but if someone else prefers that I take charge and make decisions, I’m more than capable of doing so. Financially responsible, but also a fan of “little treats” and very prone to buying things for people I love. I laugh easily and love harmless jokes and especially puns/dad jokes. I’m polite, and folks seem to find me easy to talk to, to the point of often having folks overshare things with me because they know I’m not going to judge them for it, even if it’s societally weird. Overall my view is; do whatever you want, disregard haters, just don’t hurt people. When left on my own, I am somewhat prone to anxiety over my future and can spiral a little, but I try not to let others see me anxious or sad. I like to be strong for people I care about. People I don’t care about I’m not mean to, I just kind of forget they exist, so I don’t bother interacting with them, but I’m civil. Also, while I can generally read friendliness, I am sooo bad at reading flirting and other social cues, so I may come off a bit of a himbo/oblivious at times 😅😂

Hobbies: drawing, RPG and sandbox video games (FFXIV, Minecraft, Skyrim, Animal Crossing), baking and making chocolates, working with clay, BeatSaber for fitness, watching documentaries

Likes: trying new/unusual food, rain, cats, nature and conspiracy documentaries, metal/rock/alternative music, learning video game lore, dark colors, Halloween and all things spooky, horror movies, spiders and other often disliked critters, coffee

Dislikes: extended time in crowds, sour or briney foods, hot weather, cruelty (please don’t kill bugs, I’ll take them outside for you!), the texture of wicker (blegh…), overcooked food

What I like in a partner: Someone who is unashamedly and obviously in love with me. That doesn’t mean they have to shout it from rooftops, but if asked about us, I want someone who proudly and happily says I’m theirs and they’re mine. Someone who is playful, even if only subtly, with a sense of humor. Someone who will be willing to let me ramble when I get excited about something and not dismiss it as stupid or silly - and I’m happy to do the same for them! Someone who will be kind enough to let me safely trap and release bugs instead of just killing them, as that’s important to me - it shows compassion, both for the bug and for my emotions. Someone who is okay with occasionally needing to reassure me that they’re happy with me, as I sometimes worry I’m boring my loved ones. Someone who can have fun, but who also understands that I sometimes need to be allowed to be quiet and do my own thing, even if we’re in the same room. Someone who enjoys when I dote on them, but doesn’t demand/expect excessive affection either, as much like a cat, I can get very lovey but sometimes need space. I really don’t have a preference for either introverts or extroverts, as long as they can understand how I operate - everything in balance! I love to dote on and spoil my partner as often as I can, I just get turned off if they begin to expect it or demand it, because it’s not a transaction, it’s a show of love, so if it’s demanded it becomes obligation instead and I lose interest.

Thank you so so much in advance, and have a wonderful rest of your day! 💜

~☕️

It seems to me, you've captured the heart of...

Simeon!

Here's why:

Compassionate and Gentle: Simeon is incredibly kind and compassionate, much like how you value showing kindness to bugs and critters. He’s a patient man, and that aligns with your desire for a partner who listens to you yapping without dismissing you as silly. He'd encourage it actually, since he'd very much enjoy the sound of your voice

Reassuring and Supportive: Given your need for occasional reassurance, Simeon would be someone who subtly and consistently shows you love and support. He’s thoughtful, caring, and gentle, the type to quietly express affection but with undeniable sincerity.

Playful and Humorous: Simeon can be subtly playful and enjoys lighthearted banter, which fits your love for harmless jokes and puns. He also has a warm and understanding personality that would make him appreciate your humor.

Respects Independence: He would likely understand your need for space, letting you have your quiet moments while still being present. Simeon isn’t the type to demand attention, which aligns with your preference for a partner who appreciates affection but doesn’t expect it constantly.

Loves to Dote: Simeon is someone who enjoys caring for others, which matches well with your desire to dote on your partner while maintaining balance. He would love the small treats and thoughtful gestures you offer without ever making you feel obligated to do so.

Simeon’s grounded yet caring nature would complement your more introverted, kind-hearted, and thoughtful personality, making him an ideal match!

[matoitech]

it’s obviously important for ppl to criticize misogyny particularly transmisogyny in trans male communities since thats a trans community issue but if ur also tme and the only thing u ever exclusively talk about trans men for is talking abt us as bigoted misogynists (usually there’s a ‘binary’ slapped in front of it) i genuinely think you need to put the phone down go outside and remember that whatever insane misogynist guys online are saying is not a necessarily a reflection of like things adult men outside of a weird fringe group of freak transmisogynist dudes on tumblr who think the boys should get our own word JUST like the GIRLS or its NOT FAIR!! or whatever (and one coined by a fucking terf at that..) are saying, or justification for behaving weirdly about an entire diverse community of trans people.

again i do not say this to like dissuade ppl from discussing legitimate problems but like a couple points- 'binary' trans men r capable of talking about it ourselves, and we do, and we’re not the ones whose posts get shared about it. and second: if you’re only bringing us up to talk abt how shitty particularly TRANS men are you might have a problem you need to deal with? this is not a shocking statement. like at some point someone has to point it out to you and sit there and take the shit and patiently explain to you it’s that the problem comes when its literally the ONLY thing you bring us up for and act like we're not capable of talking abt this ourselves, and that its a problem how comfortable ppl r for letting ppl speak over/for us if the only similarity they share w trans men is.. an agab and not being cis (yikes!). or if theyre transmasc and male aligned in some capacity but dont have any interest in engaging with or considering themselves a part of like trans men, THEYRE the ones who need to talk abt it, bcuz the (usually 'binary') Trans Men wont (not saying those ppl cant or shouldnt but they may be treated differently for doing so)

first ppl liked using transmeds existing to throw up justification for treating us like a bigoted monolith you (uniquely) Just Dont Feel Safe Around and its normal to make assumptions abt us being transphobic especially if we don't identify by labels deemed 'safe' and Inherently More Radical, and now its pretending we all collectively cant recognize our privilege thru our intense blinding hatred of women and its up to you to save us from ourselves and beat some common sense into the inherently bigoted stupid about gender patriarchy dicksucker boys. like i dont know im tired of it when trans men being accused of only existing bcuz we want to be patriarchy bootlickers i guess is always what radfems have thrown at us, so its not like this negative perception of trans men filtered thru a supposedly progressive lense is new. a lot of adult trans men dont talk abt like particular hot shit thats discussed a lot on here rn (the 'trans misandry' shit for example) bcuz its was not a problem in the spaces we're in and we knew it was stupid as fuck right away and barely worth talking about to say 'yeah you know that thing we all know is stupid and bullshit? its stupid and bullshit'. bcuz we're not fifteen years old or weird misogynists. we have brains, don't hate women, and we dont all know and hang around the same people.

anyway dont take this post as a stand in for serious discussion and calling out misogyny (again especially transmisogyny) w other men, those posts do need to exist, i am not trying to say this stuff shouldnt be talked about. what i'm specifically pointing out is a frustrating pattern in the perception of and discussion of trans men that ppl probably dont realize theyre participating in. i do think it is very important to talk abt community issues and criticisms but if its literally the one thing you bring up trans men for i think being aware of that behavior has no NEGATIVES here. also do have to bring up i specified other tme ppl early on bcuz this isnt smth ive experienced or seen from transfems and their position as like the affected party of transmisogyny is automatically like .. if they have issues w trans men it is pretty inherently coming from a different place than like, a cis womans, or a tme nonbinary person, or a transmasc person with issues with trans men, or a cis mans, etc. tme ppl who are on a very different ground here, whose behavior is straight up different anyway

[daffodilhorizon]

It’s true the dentist making 100k isn’t the one with institutional power to oppress but i think we still gotta do Something about people who aren’t rich compared to actual rich people but are rich enough to be shitheads to the poor, because a lot of them have some level of corruption from starting to treat their Assets like an actual person Various unhinged things i have actually witnessed Real Kinda-Rich people do   - Be the actual fucking worst to waitstaff, like literally yelling at them over a candle not being lit

- Not care at all about their car being in the way/getting tickets because they can afford it

- Throwing out brand new food just for looking weird

- Getting leases to brand new cars every year

- buying expensive and polluting fancy tech toys that get used only a few times

- using the handicapped sticker on their partner’s car to get a close spot when their disabled partner isn’t with them

- leaving behind/trashing thousands of dollars of stuff when they move, because they know they can get better stuff when they get there

- divorcing a poorer partner and then taking tens of thousands of dollars from them

- Voting for the more conservative option, because they didn’t want money taken from their taxes

- Voting against social programs, because it would tax their (expensive) house higher

- Calling cops on people for being Loud Outside

- Buying a game that directly funnels money into trans hate groups, while being trans because you make 100k+ and feel like you deserve a little treat (this broke my soul to witness)

- Selling your house because a neighbor is a drug dealer

- using their community status to get out of speeding tickets

- signing their adult children’s name on tax forms so they could take their tax refund

- saying they are entitled to their adult children’s money and taking it with the justification of work expenses

- leaving unfinished and unwanted food outside, open and unprotected to the elements and saying it’s “for homeless people” (of course they would not dream of actually talking to a homeless person and offering real food!) I’m not saying poor people don’t also do these things, i’m just saying, when people start to get money and see Poors as a “them” and no longer an “Us”, it’s a pretty big barrier to solidarity. And it’s kind of sick seeing how much someone can revel in wasteful pollution simply because capitalist individualism encourages it as a treat. And usually it doesn’t even take a lot of money for these people to feel entitled enough to treat us (an our common air and land!) differently, like we’re just hungry hordes who are trying to eagerly grab at their assets and not people starving and begging at the foot of their ample dinner table.

[rusty-patch]

Just dropped out of a club I’m in (lower voice a cappella group) because I’m sick of being the “model minority” “palatable” trans person

Semi relevant: I’m the first trans person in the 20+ year history of the group

I’m sick of cis people, especially cis men, acting like my transness is something they graciously ignore/get over because I can fit into their little boxes

I’ve spent my entire out life trying to be as close to cis-man as I can because that’s the only way I thought (most) cis people would see me as a person of any value

I’m done

This group claims to be gender inclusive but we were doing auditions and I watched them pick apart a trans man’s audition for things that were 100% connected to his trans-ness

And when I challenged them they wouldn’t listen and eventually basically told me to shut up because the discussion was going in circles (I wouldn’t be a doormat)

I’m lucky because I am genuinely most comfortable with he/him pronouns and dressing mostly like a masc cis man and I look basically like a cis man (on the shorter end) and my transition has been what cis people “expect” a trans masc transition to look like

And they act like them ignoring my trans-ness is doing me a favor. It’s the same shit as the “I don’t see color/race” crowd

My trans-ness a)

should not be treated as a negative (like in a lot of ways it is a negative for me but for y’all it should not be)

b) my trans-ness is a part of who I am. It affects virtually every aspect of my life and not acknowledging it ignores a huge part of who I am as a person

And then this person walks into the room and I see so much of myself in him but he’s more visible than I am and after when we’re discussing his audition both the president of the group and several other members were critiquing him over things that were either def just straight up transphobic or thinly veiled by some argument that would blow away with a light breeze

And I’m like- hey wait a minute, these things you’re saying also apply to me?? Someone you let in the group… the only difference is I’ve tried to basically hide my trans-ness for your comfort (and my safety and well being) but still all because of Y’ALL

and you’re saying shit about this person and I’m like, you’re talking about me too

Anyway I walked tf out and I’m not going back

(And I was currently their best baritone and one of the only people who learned my music, didn’t rely on someone else, could read music, could hold my own part, etc)

I’m so frustrated but I left and I’m proud of myself