#it drives me up a wall when people act like the only way to truly experience transphobia is to be transfem

[trans-androgyne]

I do personally feel that transmisogyny as a system is far more pervasive/normalized than transandrophobia and that it results in more physical violence/hate crimes. But this turns into claiming “trans women have it worse than trans men,” which a) isn’t true for everyone and b) isn’t a conversation that I think we should be having/that means anything in practice. Why are we comparing whose experience is worse? Especially when the rhetoric around trans women and trans men is so different? It’s very much like weighting the experiences of gay men versus lesbian women — they’re going to be different. They shouldn’t be compared.

[aphel1on]

Dungeon Lords and the Human Need for Connection

When I came across these panels again the other day, it got me thinking about dungeon lord parallels again.

...And I spiraled until I was writing my thesis statement about how All Four Dungeon Lords (Yes, Even Laios, Stop leaving him out of these discussions) Are Actually the Same.

Firstly (because on some level everything is about Thistle to me) I thought about how the lion could have very likely given Thistle a similar offer when his loved ones started losing their souls/rebelling/etc. And yet, there is no sign that Thistle ever accepted such an offer, nor any sign that he used magic to forcibly change people's opinions, the way Marcille briefly threatened the party with while she was dungeon lord:

Instead, he ended up with the fucking dining table that drives me insane. Which probably means that either Thistle rejected the offer, or the lion sensed it wouldn't go over well and didn't even try it.

Making replicas of people doesn't seem to be an uncommon part of granting the dungeon lord's wishes. In his time, Mithrun actually took the demon up on it:

(Not pictured; the infamous lamia-version of his love interest.)

What makes Mithrun different from Thistle and Marcille in this instance is that Thistle and Marcille both became dungeon lords for the sake of specific people. Both were motivated by the terror of losing their most important people, and both told themselves everything they did was for the sake of protecting those people.

Because they were motivated by genuine love, copies or mind manipulation were not palatable. I think Thistle even in the late stages of his madness probably would not find these to be acceptable solutions. No matter how twisted, possessive, and obsessive his love became under the dungeon's influence, it was still from the fear of losing those original, irreplaceable people that he was doing all this. Even as his relationship with Delgal and the other Melinis fell apart over the years... even as he was left with only their soulless bodies... he would still rather cling to whatever was left.

Perhaps on some level, Thistle recognized the same thing that kept Marcille from following through with her threats:

Even in the state of endlessly chasing their desires as dungeon lords, they couldn't feel truly okay accomplishing it that way.

For Mithrun, meanwhile, the people in his fantasy world were a means to an end. It was all-encompassing insecurity and the pain of not being wanted that led him to become dungeon lord. His desire was not fixated on any specific people - it was broad enough and desperate enough that anyone could fulfill it. The thing is, Mithrun prior to becoming dungeon lord was by all accounts well-liked. But his emotional walls were up so high that not a single one of his admirers could make him feel known and cared for. The kind of crushing perfectionism he exhibited in that stage of his life often comes with a silent and equally crushing imposter syndrome. No one actually knew him, because Mithrun didn't let them, even though every aspect of his personality then was a desperate plea to be seen and liked. I think the sad truth is that, by the time he became dungeon lord, Mithrun didn't truly believe that happiness was something that could be found in other people. (It's telling that his wish was for a world in which he had never been discarded; perhaps for a world in which he never felt the need to put up those masks.)

In this respect, Mithrun is actually more alike to Laios than he is to Thistle and Marcille.

Laios was told again and again by the world that it was wrong to be who he was - that he was unlikeable when he acted the way that came naturally to him. The lion didn't bother asking Laios about replicas; those would be meaningless to him. Like Mithrun, Laios had lost all hope of being liked for who he was, but took it one step further: Laios had lost hope that he could find happiness in the human world entirely. At that point, all he wanted was an escape. To leave the pain of the human world behind and become someone, something, different. All he really needed in order to be tempted into it was the assurance that his friends would be safe.

All four of these stories have a pretty obvious throughline when you think about it: the deep, intrinsic need for human connection and what happens to someone when that need cannot be met.

All four of them were starving for connection. All four of them experienced alienation and isolation that made them desperate enough to turn to the demon.

Marcille (a half-elf whose unstable aging left her without peers) and Thistle (raised as the only elf in a kingdom of humans) both formed intense attachments to the few people they did become close to, and went off the deep end from fear of losing them.

Mithrun and Laios were both rejected by others for aspects of themselves that were out of their control, and tried to cope by developing masks that left them unable to feel accepted by the people still in their lives.

...So it's fitting, then, that genuine human connection is also what saved all four of them in the end.

(Thistle is a little arguable here; I personally don't think he died, but even if you do believe he died at the end of the manga- Yaad being able to connect and empathize with him is what gave him peace and solace in his final moments.)

Dungeon Meshi is about alienation and connection as much as it is about food and cycles of life. (Or more like, these themes are masterfully intertwined - food is used to represent love and connection over and over again. But that's a whole essay in and of itself!)

[starryevermore]

the house of snow (4) ✧ coriolanus snow

the house of snow ✧ a royal coryo au | pinterest board| ao3

pairing: king!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

series summary: the king of panem is in search of a bride. and, for reasons you can never understand, coriolanus snow has set his sights on you. it would never be a happy marriage, you’re sure of that. but none of that matters, because when snow decides he wants something, he will do everything in his power to ensure it is his. 

chapter summary: you realize that there is more to this than snow just wanting a bride.

word count: 2,548

series warnings?: 18+ MINORS DNI, royal au, regency au, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, obsessive!coryo, jealous!coryo, protective!coryo, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, more tags to be added later

chapter warnings?: jealous!coryo, manipulative!coryo, not proofread

It brought you an inexplicable about of joy to get on Snow’s nerves. This was certainly a positive if you had effectively no choice but to marry him. It was fair, though, wasn’t it? He gets you as a bride, and you get to drive him up the wall. And, oh, how you’ve annoyed him. The way his jaw ticked, the narrowing of his eyes when you declared that the beautiful kitten he got you would be named Coriolanus. Just after you denied calling him by his name! If you weren’t intent on seeing how far you could push him, you might have cackled in that moment. 

The joy, however, was short-lived when Snow actually agreed that Coriolanus the Cat was your first son with him. If you would have known that he’d agree, you certainly never would have made the joke in the first place. Now—with Snow and your mother as witnesses to your agreement—you had to behave when around Snow. Granted, you did make the caveat that you would only behave to the best of your ability, which could be as little or as much as you wanted on any given day. Snow would not let you live the agreement down, though, you knew that much. Any time you could think about stepping a toe out of line, you were sure Snow would be quick to bring up the agreement.

You should have known better. 

“What do you think of Snow?” you asked your lady’s maid as she helped you get ready for the day. 

She paused as she tied the laces of your corset. “He would take very good care of you, ma’am,” she said.

You hummed, glancing at your reflection in the mirror. Tigris had made you a pale pink dress. Snow favored red, but your mother would kill you if you wore a color as scandalous as red before you were married. Pink, though, was a close alternative. “In the sense that I would want for nothing, yes, he would. But do you think I could grow to love him?”

She bowed her head, but that did not stop you from seeing the face she made. “He can be charming.”

“When it suits him,” you finish. You sighed. “I apologize. I know you cannot speak ill of the King. I just…am so tired of people acting like I should kiss his feet for showing interest in me.”

As she finished helping you into your dress, she said, “I know nothing of marriage, ma’am, but I know enough to say it is not without its struggles. Even if you could have a love match, there would be days you hate him for the most mundane things.”

“But if it was a love match, then it would all be worth it.” A frown settled on your face. “Or perhaps I’m being naïve. Mama and Papa were once a love match, and their scheming to have me married off to Snow is the first time they have truly spoken to each other in years.”

Your lady’s maid squeezed your hand. “All will be well, ma’am. If you can never love His Majesty, you will find something else to pour your affections into. Now, we should head downstairs. His Majesty is never late.”

You laughed. Well, that was certainly not true. Though, you supposed she didn’t know that. ���Sometimes he is.”

But, after checking your reflection one last time, you turned and left your room. Your room was at the top of the stairs, so when you walked out, you could see Snow, holding Coriolanus the Cat, as he spoke with your mother. The sight made you giggle. He looked so uncomfortable holding the little kitten. One would think that he had been made to hold a pile of garbage than a sweet kitty. 

Almost like he heard you, Snow looked up to where you stood. You clenched your teeth, knowing now that you would have to put on an act. Because of the agreement, you no longer could revel in the private moments where you could do everything in your power to annoy Snow. Now, he expected perfection, and he would receive it. 

Slowly, you descended the stairs, your hand dragging along the bannister. The closer you got to him, the more a smirk grew on his face. Oh, you were sure he was reveling in this. 

His eyes never left yours. It was unnerving. Any other man in his position would be staring at your body—treating you completely like an object, just a pretty thing to hang off of his arm. But Snow…You weren’t sure. It was almost like he enjoyed tearing you apart, acknowledging your humanity and your independence just so he could squash any hope you had. 

Snow passed Coriolanus the Cat off to your mother, who looked even more comfortable than him, when you reached the bottom of the stairs. He held his hand out for you, which you reluctantly took. “That dress looks beautiful on you. Did Tigris make it?”

“She’s the only modiste I trust,” you said. 

He smiled. It almost looked twisted. “Then I suppose I should be paying her handsomely for your wedding gown?”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary, Your Majesty—” your mother cut in. 

Her words died in her throat as Snow narrowed his eyes at her. At least he also was not fond of her. If you couldn’t like him as a person, at least you might be able to bond over hating your mother. “Do you think you have the authority to tell me how I should and should not spend my money? I shall spoil my bride however I see fit.”

“Of course. I just meant—”

Snow ignored her, and held his arm out for you to take. “Let us promenade?”

A hint of a smile danced across your face. If all of your conversations were limited to despising your mother, then this might not be so awful. You held onto his bicep. “Let’s.”

Snow led you out of the house, letting your mother scramble to pass off Coriolanus the Cat to the butler so that the two of you wouldn’t get too far without a chaperone. “I think she is going to loathe you by the time you propose if you keep this up,” you said. 

He snorted. “You think it will take that long?”

“Not all of us are smart enough to despise you at first meeting,” you said. “She likely still has delusions of grandeur, that you are only acting this way in an attempt to sweeten me up to you and after we wed, you will be kinder.”

“Ah. Is it working then?”

You frowned, looking up at him. He was already watching you. Did he ever stop staring? “Is what working?”

“Sweetening you up, as you say,” Snow clarified. He offered you a small smile. “Contrary to what you think, I do not wish for you to be unhappy.”

“No, you only wish for me to be a mindless pawn in your pursuit of power. Snow…If you are trying to make me warm up to you, to even just tolerate your existence as opposed to hating it, you will be disappointed. I will not act out. I will not cause a scene. If you wish for me to provide you an heir, I shall. But I will not, and I cannot, pretend that I am happy with this. You have gotten me a kitten. You have offered me a library. You will give me one of the highest titles in Panem. But you cannot provide me with what I want.”

Snow looked away from you. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. For a moment, you wondered if you touched a nerve. You would not care if you did, but Snow also held your entire life in his hands. He could make you as miserable as he wished. Though you may not like it, this was him being kind in whatever way he could manage. “Would it truly be so awful? Loving me?”

By now, you had reached the square. As your eyes swept through the park, you took note of how well-populated the area was. It was not uncommon at this point in the season for the many courting couples to spend their afternoons in the square. It was certainly better than stuffy teas and tense luncheons. With that, though, came the lack of privacy. Unlike a ball, where the music and the dancing and the overlapping conversations drowned everything out, you were in the open. Anything you said, any wrong move you made, could easily be noticed. It was why, you supposed, Snow liked to ask you to promenade. It was one of the few times you would hold your tongue. 

But you could not be silent about your true thoughts now.

Dropping your voice to a near-whisper, you said, “You cannot force love, Snow. It happens organically, with time. With people who do not go at each other’s throats over every disagreement. We are too different. I have told you, I will not sacrifice my ideals to play a happy little wife.”

“I don’t want you to sacrifice who you are. Your ideals, your resoluteness, your inability to ever let something go…That is why I chose you. All I want is your cooperation. If you give me that, I will make everything else worthwhile.”

You nearly rolled your eyes. What more did he want from you? Was it not enough for you to allow him to show you off like you were some doll, to stake his claim on you and say little to anyone about how unwilling a participant you were? “Am I not cooperating now?”

“You are.”

“Then why do you need my love too?”

Snow finally looked at you again. Now, though, his pale blue eyes had darkened. You sucked in a breath. He almost looked…possessed? Was that the right word? He certainly didn’t look himself, the perfect picture of composure. You spared a glance at the couples around you. If anyone saw the way he looked at you, like he might just eat you, no one revealed it. 

“I want all of you, and I cannot settle for anything less.”

Why did he insist on this? Why did it matter so much to him? Snow was getting everything he wanted. He would get a wife. He would get an heir. You were from a good family. You were intelligent enough for his standards. You would even refrain from acting out in public. You would play the role he wanted in the eyes of Panem. Why was all of that not enough? What was so important about receiving your love too? 

Unless…

You dropped Snow’s arm. He looked at you almost like you slapped him. As the two of you stopped in the middle of the walkway, the other couples started to look more closely. You could hardly blame them. It would certainly be entertaining if you and Snow had a lover’s quarrel (or whatever way they decided to paint this picture) in the middle of the square. But you could hardly focus on them. 

“Sejanus was right,” you said. 

Snow’s jaw ticked. Oh. You definitely touched a nerve there. But that hardly made any sense. Him and Sejanus were friends. Of course, you supposed in telling Snow that if you had to marry anyone for social status, you would marry Sejanus, it would put a strain on their friendship. Snow sucked in a breath, as if trying to calm himself. Yet, when he spoke, his tone was clipped. “Do not say his name around me.” 

“But he, Lord Plinth, I mean, was right,” you repeated. It was hard to take heed in his words when all you could focus on what the revelation at hand. 

“I do not care about what he said and whether it was truthful. I would like to promenade, and so that is what we shall do.”

“Snow—”

He grabbed your hand. You nearly jumped away from him. But between his tight grip and the eyes of the ton, you forced yourself to stay still. Snow brought your hand back to his arm, forced your fingers to curl around his bicep. Some of the tension in his shoulders melted away when you touched him. 

“There,” he said. He let out another breath. “You promised me you would behave, yes?”

“I—Yes, I did.”

“Then stop talking, and let us promenade.”

Was this the life you were going to live now? Placating a King whose mood could flip at the drop of a name? You had never seen someone become so angry so quickly. All you had done was say Sejanus’s name, and Snow had acted like you committed treason. Was it treason for him? Did he truly view it that way? If you had known he would be so adverse to even hearing you speak about Sejanus, you would have never admitted to him that you thought Sejanus would be an easy man to love. At the time, though, you thought it wouldn’t matter. Snow already had you where he wanted you. The only person truly standing in your way to pursue other matches was Snow himself. Why would you think that admitting your true desires change anything? 

Not seeing a way out of this, you bowed your head and did not say another word. You feared what he might do if you stepped out of line. If he was so angry at you saying Sejanus’s name, what could he do if you disobeyed him?

Snow stared at you for a long moment, trying to determine what you might do. When he was satisfied with your compliance, he began walking again, acting as if the spat never occurred. You had been prepared for the rest of the walk to be in silence. You certainly didn’t plan on saying anything else. There was no winning if you did. 

“I am going to meet with your father at the end of the week,” Snow said. You sucked in a breath. If he noticed, he didn’t react. “We will need to discuss the terms of our engagement.”

Not knowing what to say, you hummed in acknowledgment. 

Snow, however, was not happy with that. “Tell me you cannot wait to marry me.”

Tears began to prick at your eyes. How could your life be stolen from you in just a matter of weeks? How could Coriolanus Snow come in and ruin everything you wanted for yourself? How could he keep demanding more? You considered repeating the same sentence he said, but you knew he would not be satisfied with that. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I cannot wait to become Mrs. Coriolanus Snow.”

His chest puffed out and a smirk settled on his face. Well, at least you knew the right things to say to placate him. That might at least make the marriage easier to manage. 

Snow leaned into you, pressed his nose into your hair. It was hardly appropriate, especially in public, especially between two unmarried people. But he was King, and no one would stop him from doing what he pleased, societal expectations be damned.

“Good girl,” he whispered. 

[fairszy]

arataki itto x begging !! ♡ "ugh . . . baby, please, i can't . ."

this prompt comes from this post !! so all credit to the idea goes to them ♡

contains : begging, animalistic sex teehee, overstimulation, size kink if you squint, creampies, afab!reader, service top!itto ♡

sometimes, having a boyfriend like itto has more than one perk. many actually. this man is an absolute saint. he loves hard and proves it through his copious amounts of love for the people in his life through different acts of service. being his partner was absolutely no exclusion from this. itto loved and cherished you deeply, everyone around you two knew it.

whether it was the large amount of lovebites on you at all times or even the way itto always had a protective arm around you in public, everyone was aware of the oni's love and passion for you. his smile when you'd walk into the room was brighter than a thousand suns and the way he talked about you was enough to make a married man feel single and lonely. you truly are the pride of itto's existence.

this being said, the man is rather addicted to you. itto will almost immediately do anything you ask him to without complaint . . so when you have him tied to a chair in your residence, sitting right on his lap where he cant touch or hold you. why it drives him crazy. it makes him almost feral . . but that's exactly what you want. he's grunting trying so hard to fight against the restraints you have on him but its all in vain.

"come on sunshine . . . this is so cruel !!"

he whines it like a child, a pout showing up on his perfect face in protest but you're not listening. you only roll your hips as to tease him even more, giggling to yourself at how pitiful all of this is. an oni, someone double your size, being tied down and pathetically begging to be released. all of this went to your head as you continued your motions. poor ittos cock was hard and threatening to burst out of its confinements.

"at least use your hand !! c'mon . . pleaseplease -"

you immediately cut him off with a kiss, making the oni whine into your mouth. all his sounds being beautifully swallowed up by you. he melts into this, trying to lean up to chase the softness of your skin as its the only part of you he's allowed to touch in this moment. you can feel a shift in him, something rather territorial as his breathing starts to get heavier and heavier. itto is reaching breaking point.

he lunges froward, the rope around his biceps snapping in a fury as now you're being pinned against the wooden floor. his breathing . . god is glorious. he's borderline panting in your ear, grunting and groaning as he fists a hand into his pants to free himself. there's no running from this. however, you believe that to be the case . . when all of a sudden his face softens once more. gentle kisses being placed against your exposed skin.

"that was torture . . please - let me take care of you. i'll do anything you ask just please let me touch you."

with the puppy dog eyes he's currently giving you, how could you refuse? with a small smile you nod and slowly sit up. you command him to remove your clothing as well as his own, the oni taking little to no time to do such actions. that's when the reality of the situation hit you. even though he was untied, you were still in control. he gave you the submission you wanted out of him without needing to be confined. itto was truly whipped for you.

your next command to him is something he'd more than happy to comply with. taking his length into his hands again itto now finds himself slowly pushing into the tight warmth of your walls, a loud satisfied noise leaving his mouth in pure bliss of such a feeling. truthfully, it has you biting your lip too. itto's extremely large and the bulging skin on your tummy proved this as he made his way fully inside of you.

he pounds into you with great force, a wave of moans and loud animalistic sounds following in his path. your vision blurs and you almost cant see straight. you want to cry out for a moment, to beg him to slow his pace but you knew that you truly didn't want him to. you wanted to be treated like this. this marks your first orgasm of the night. it has you shaking, spasming, and tugging at itto's hair. itto watches you like you're a movie. he stares, studying every single little reaction you make to the pleasure he gives you.

this is what makes him finish. he makes sure to pull your hips right down to his thighs, wanting to be fully inside of you while he cums. during his entire orgasm he's a mess of words,

"ohh fuck - you look so pretty - shit - archons i need to -"

is all he's able to get out before he's pounding into you again, both of you borderline screaming from such overstimulation so quickly after orgasm. this time its his turn to ignore you as you cry and beg for mercy, for him to let you take a moment to rest. he can't be bothered to comply this time, especially when you feel as good as you do. however he doesn't get far before he's whimpering again. itto pushes you into a mating press knowing just how good it feels for you. he howls in delight at such a nice feeling.

"ugh . . . baby, please, i can't . ."

the rest of his words fail him as he wails from the overstimulation. he finishes again, muttering copious amounts of things while he does - ranging from praises to degrading thoughts. it doesn't matter to him, nothing does but this - but you.

"you . . are like the biggest onikabuto you can find . . WAIT !! not like that - i mean like !! you . . are really rare . . and so so soooo pretty . . please, just a few more?"

those begging eyes never fail to work . . do they?

[dreamescapeswriting]

Smutober Day 11 ~ Prompt~ Changbin [M]

WORD COUNT: 1.7k

PAIRING: Changbin x Fem!Reader  

GENRE: established relationships, minors DNI, STALKER VIBES, prompt: “I bet you think you’re real cute letting them put their hands all over you. We’ll see how cute you look later when I get you home”LIGHT  spanking, fingering

TW: Stalker tendencies are mentioned, toxic behaviour, I in no way condone this behaviour but this is a work of FICTION, all consensual 

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - Smutober 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

There was no trying to reason with your stalker, he was always there, watching you, waiting for you and you knew that there was no escaping him not that you'd ever truly fought away from him before though. Maybe there was something wrong in your mind but you'd never feared your watcher, you'd always found him rather placid. That was until earlier in the night when he'd made a threat you could no longer ignore.

Your hand graced over your wrist as you remembered how hard he'd been squeezing your wrist in his grasp and you let out a small sigh. You'd been dancing with so many in the club and clearly, your stalker hadn't enjoyed watching other people being able to touch you and he'd come to you. The first time he'd ever touched you and spoken to you verbally. Before everything had been through notes, flowers or some text messages from unknown numbers. You could still feel his breath on your skin when he whispered in your ear.

"I bet you think you're real cute letting them put their hands all over you. We'll see how cute you look after I get you home,"

You'd hightailed out of there so fast you were almost sure you'd left a cloud of smoke like you were some kind of cartoon character. Now you were in the "safety" of your own home which you knew wasn't safe, not even close. It was why you woke up to flowers inside of your home almost every day and then there were the times you'd woken up to notes telling you to get better locks. Thunder crashed outside and you jumped, turning to look at the balcony doors that were now open. But thanks to the darkness of October all you could see was the outline of your stalker staring at you, 

"You were a bad girl tonight." He said as he walked further into the room, Your hands shakily reached for the hammer you'd begun to sleep beside and he chuckled darkly. You'd never feared for your life but you'd slept with a weapon beside your bed just in case you ever needed it, not just for your stalker but who knew what could happen in the night.

"We both know if you were going to kill me, princess, you'd have done it long before now." Lightening flashed and you dropped the hammer onto the floor.

"Changbin?!" The hammer slipped down onto the floor, bouncing and almost hitting your toe but he pushed you out of the way and pressed you up against the wall.

"The one and only," He whispered, biting your lip as you slapped against his chest, How had you not recognised his voice earlier? Changbin was someone you'd worked with for years and when you left the company he owned he hadn't been exactly nice about it. He'd tried to bribe you back into the company and when that didn't work he tried to threaten you. Clearly, this was all some kind of game for him as a way of getting revenge for leaving him.

"I told you I wasn't coming back to work for you." You grumbled, staring at him as you reached for the lights and flicked them on. 

"Oh baby, you're cute. This isn't about work, this is about us and our undying chemistry," He ran his hand over your cheek, his thumb gently running along your bottom lip before pushing your lips apart while you glared at him.

"What makes you think we have that?" You weren't an idiot, the reason you'd left his company in the first place was because of the sexual tension that there was between the two of you. God, it used to drive you insane going to work every day and having to act as though you didn't want him to fuck you against every surface of the office. So you left. Cut him out and try to be cold so you won't have to talk to him anymore.

"You think I haven't seen you touching that pretty cunt when I'm watching you? I know it gets you off." Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him,

"Even before you knew I was watching, you were moaning my name," 

"You're delusional." You tried to play it off as though it was nothing, that he had no idea what he was talking about but it was the truth. You used to touch yourself and cry out his name almost every night, imagining him in every way possible.

"No baby, I took my Delulu pills this morning," He whispered before biting down on your lip, you let out a low moan and you hated yourself for it because he was right.

The idea of him watching you did get you off whenever you were laid in bed touching yourself and maybe it was the excitement of it all,

"I bet if I put my hand down your panties right now I'd find you soaking wet and all for me."

"I-I'm not wearing any." You admitted you'd gone clubbing without them on as it was just nicer with your dress but you let out a squeal as you were suddenly spun around with your chest pressed flat against the wall.

"Dirty fucking whore," He growled, flipping your skirt up and groaning when he found that you weren't lying and the slap was delivered against your bare ass making you hiss out and buck your hips into the wall.

"W-What are you doing?!" You squealed, you'd only ever read about spanking in books and you'd never imagined it was something you'd enjoy but you'd loved the way that felt against your skin.

"Making good on my threat, let's see how cute you are after your little punishment." You wriggled a little but another slap was delivered to your ass and you bit back a moan, you weren't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing what he did to you.

"Who touched this pretty cunt last?" He questioned as he ran his finger up your thigh agonisingly slow, almost touching you but holding back.

"Why?" You mumbled, not wanting to go into details about your past sex life.

"Because I want a list of people I need to kill for seeing what belongs to me,"

"I'm not a possession," You hiss at him as he chuckled a little,

"When was the last time someone touched you like this?" He quizzed, his voice soft this time as his other hand ran over your breast grazing over your hardened nipples and you sharply inhaled.

"A long time ago," You admitted shly before he pinched your nipple, your eyes fluttering shut a little,

"Changbin," It came out in a sweet, breathless plea and Changbin felt himself harden beneath his trousers. Tonight was supposed to be about punishing you but now all he wanted to do was please you. 

"I'm going to worship this pussy," He whispered as he watched you, your eyes found him and you bit down on your lip. You wanted nothing more than for him to bury himself inside of you, ruin you and fuck you until you're screaming his name.

"You're fucking drenched," He whispered as he dipped his hand between your legs, your head falling forward against the wall and a moan left your throat.

"Do you like this? Your stalker spreading you open?" He hummed, rubbing your swollen bud until his fingers were soaked,

"You want to get finger fucked by your stalker?" He whispered, biting down on your ear as you let out a whine, panting and rolling your hips back to try and get him to touch you more. He pushed your legs wider apart and pressed his thumb against your clit as he pushes a finger inside of you,

"You're so wet for me," He whispered as he pushed his finger as deep as it would go,

"Now answer my question, do you like being finger fucked by your stalker?" He curled his finger inside of you and you clenched around him tightly, letting out the loudest moan you'd ever heard yourself do.

"Y-Yes! Yes! Fuck!" You cried out as your head tipped back, landing against his shoulder as he dragged his finger out of you, lazily rubbing our clit in circles before slamming his finger into you again. Air caught in your throat as you screamed his name out, sweat beginning to build on your forehead.

"My dirty little whore, letting me finger fuck you when you claim to hate me," He pushed a second finger into you, stretching you out as your fingers curled into fists on the wall. The room filled with wet sounds as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, looking at you with a smirk.

"Changbin,2 You moaned out as you clenched around his finger, his pace increasing with every pump. Changbin leaned down, biting and sucking on your neck as he continued to fuck his fingers into you.

"C-Close," You warned him, your vision begins to blur as you felt a tightness inside of your stomach and your eyes screwed shut. No one had ever been able to make you cum so quickly before and you hated that it was coming from him, You hated how much you wanted this and you mostly hated how you never wanted it to end. Your legs squeezed together a little as you came around his fingers, screaming his name out as he gave you a toe-curling orgasm.

"Such a good girl," He whispered, pulling his hand away from you and looking at you as he took his fingers into his mouth cleaning them with his tongue. Your eyes locked onto his as you whined a little, throwing your arms around him before kissing him deeply.

The kiss was hot and commanding, he pushed you toward the bed laying you down as he took in the sight of you.

"I like this outfit on you, You've worn it a lot which means you like it too." He ran his hands over the fabric of your skirt and you frowned, Why would he notice what you were wearing?

"I didn't realise you noticed what I wore," He chuckled darkly at you, shaking his head. He'd noticed every little detail about you, from the moment you'd walked into his office all those years ago he noticed everything.

"Oh Yn, I notice everything about you," He whispered before kissing you softly, gently laying beside you on the bed as you rolled on top of him continuing with what he'd just started.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @stayconnecteed @saymyspringrain @laylasbunbunny @tinyoonsblog @whitefoxgirl @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @just-aelia @minhosify @choisoorin @straykids5star @heyjiminnie @beccaskz @scarletemeterio @btsiguess-kpop @halesandy

[epicness1000]

I'm Disappointed in How Honkai Star Rail's 2.6 Update Handled Boothill

I posted this elsewhere, but I thought to post this here.

If you're unable to take criticism of HSR and its writing, then don't read.

Is it just me? Well, it probably is, but I'm going to make a post (more like an essay) about it anyway.

I think a character like Boothill– one driven by anger, hate and revenge– isn't one to just be ignored or accepted. This is the kind of character that should be deconstructed. He claims to protect the innocent, and kill those who are evil– but who is he to decide who is innocent, and who is guilty? If he claims to spread justice– well, what is justice? Is it really as simple as the deadly means he uses, or is this all just a wall to justify his embracing of violence, a method of lashing out he uses in response to his trauma? I mean– he's killed a lot of people, and if those people include IPC lackeys (they almost certainly do), then there's no doubt at least some of them were innocent by most definitions of the word. And, if they're all truly just evil and guilty– well, that just feels like a weakness of the narrative, and its unwillingness to genuinely explore the possible issue it raises, an easy way out so to say. Boothill comes across as hypocritical to me, since who's to say that in the eyes of another, he's not also a villain/criminal to be put down? Is he not guilty in many ways too, maybe even within his own moral framework?

I'd LOVE to see the HSR narrative tackle these things, and I was hoping it would– but this update doesn't seem to have done any of that, even if it tried to open up his character.

I don't like that the fact that he genuinely doesn't seem to have any qualms with killing goes unquestioned. Don't get me wrong– I love morally grey/dark characters– but only if they're handled well. And I don't think that's the case here, since it feels like the narrative fails to frame his acts as something questionable. Even the robot ape guy he threatens brings up that taking a life the first time would make anyone hesitate, even the most heinous of villains– yet Boothill doesn't, and this... isn't really brought up again? Even though I think it really should be? If a couple things were flipped, Boothill could easily be a (really cool) tragic villain, or questionable anti-hero– but it feels like hoyo is just trying to make him marketable without really exploring these interesting ideas, because they might make him look less innocent/likeable.

I make this analogy a lot, but I think the best character to look at when it comes to 'anti-hero who is convinced that he's spreading justice and defending the weak, when in reality it's just a front for violence/trauma, and their morals desperately need to be deconstructed' is Raiden from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. If you know, you'll probably understand what I mean– if not, I'm happy to elaborate.

Either way, I just hope that when Boothill inevitably gets more development, these things are explored in some capacity. I love him as a character, I just don't like how the narrative is dealing with him so far.

(I'm very happy to have a discussion about this– I'm not aiming to change anyone's mind if they enjoyed the update's contents– but I did want to speak my opinion).

(ALso- I brought this up in a discord chat, and I want to bring it up again. This is kind of comparable to Light Yagami's mindset– OBVIOUSLY they are literal opposites in personality and character, but the whole concept of 'I eradicate the guilty and protect the innocent' seems to be driving both of them. The difference is that Death Note bothered to analyse this idea and point out how ultimately wrong it is for one person to decide who is innocent or guilty, who deserves to live or die– while Honkai Star Rail not only avoids this, but almost seems to frame it as heroic? To be blunt– I think that is incredibly stupid.)

[mixtape-racha]

angel with a shotgun - k.th

part of the aria birthday series ˖°🦇ִ ࣪𖤐 (will eventually get a part 2)

words: 1k // warnings: light angst, established relationship, supernatural au, werewolf!reader

some would say kang taehyun was a villain. a scoundrel, a thief. others would say he was a bad omen. but their opinions didn’t matter - not to him anyway. the only person whose opinion meant anything was yours.

you and taehyun had been together for a little over a year, and you’d never had anything but a good word to say about him. he was your angel, your light in the dark, and your escape when home seemed too suffocating.

to you, finding taehyun when you did was nothing short of a miracle. he seemed to have made his way into your life when you needed him the most, and you’d rather be burned alive at the stake before letting him go.

finding love as a…. creature of your predicament was difficult enough. while supernatural beings were far from hidden to the human world, most still saw you as a threat. or worse, a disease to be washed out. so yeah, as a werewolf, love and relationships weren’t something your life was given in abundance.

at first, you thought taehyun was just… different. a human who wasn’t afraid, or eager to trap you. nor was he on the opposite end of the spectrum - he wasn’t one who fetishized supernatural beings, saw them as a toy to use and keep as simply a sexualized pet. and it was nice to be with someone who had no ulterior motive. a breath of fresh air.

until it wasn’t - he’d been acting strange. canceling dates last minute, never staying over when he promised to. its like he was hiding a whole part of himself from you, and it frightened you. gave you ample reason to put those protective walls back up, and disconnect yourself from romance once again.

but the worst part was how much it hurt. you truly thought taehyun was different, would be better than anyone you’d attempted to bare yourself to before. that's why after a few days of moping when he canceled yet another date, you’d decided enough was enough. if he truly wanted you, he’d need to reciprocate your energy. and if not… well, he could at least have the balls to tell you to your face.

it was creeping towards 4 in the morning on a saturday when your late night drive dragged you outside taehyun’s apartment building. you assumed it was your subconscious telling you to get answers, and you knew you had to do it eventually, so why not now? you knew he was at home and awake - the light of his balcony was on, and you could see the shadows on the tv playing.

the elevator ride up to the fifth floor filled you with dread - brain working overtime to give you visions of all the worst case scenarios that could play out. even as you approached his door and raised your fist to knock, your heart was fluttering at an alarming speed.

you knocked gently, fully aware that he had neighbors that wouldn’t appreciate being disturbed at such an unsociable hour, and tried to calm yourself before taehyun saw you in such a state.

but when the door swung open and he realized you were standing on his doorstep, he looked more surprised than you could have imagined.

“y/n? what are you doing here? … why are you out alone at this time?!”

he was quick to drag you into the apartment, the door swinging closed behind you. you cringed as it slammed, pulling your arm from taehyun’s grip as you grappled with how to go about your feelings next.

“expecting someone else? you of all people know i’m more than okay being outside alone at night, tae.”

his expression softened at your words, and it was hard to deny the butterflies you felt when he visibly relaxed and took your hands in his.

“what’s going on, hmm? talk to me.”

“i think you need to do the talking, really,” you half-smiled with a slight shrug of the shoulders. “you’ve been acting so… weird lately. did… do you wanna break up or something?”

taehyun’s eyes widened and he shook his head fast, the shock and confusion evident on his features.

“no! no, of course i don’t! why would you think that?”

you sighed, pushing away from him once more to pace across his apartment hallway.

“why? maybe because you’ve been so distant! i feel like i’m the only one putting any effort in, like you don’t want me as much as i want you.”

he lead you into the living room, gesturing for you to sit on the couch so he could explain himself, and you were more than eager to listen. anything to get answers to all the questions running through your mind lately - to put your doubts at rest.

“i’m..” he sighed, hands rubbing at his temples as he tried to formulate the words he wanted to convey. “i don’t want to mess this up, okay? i’ve been… i’ve been trying to learn more about werewolf culture. about– about your courting ways, how to track when you’re going to go into heat, what you can’t do and what will make your inner wolf happy. i want to be good to you, and i don’t want to do something wrong.”

and oh, how your heart ached at the pleading expression on his face, as if he was begging you to forgive him. when in fact, there was nothing to forgive. he had actually achieved a great step - he had officially done more for you than anyone ever had before, and you could cry with how grateful you were.

“tae.. that’s– you’re amazing. i’m so sorry for overreacting.” your eyes welled with tears and he rushed to wipe them away before they could fall, cradling your head to his chest - his heartbeat instantly calming you.

“don’t be silly, you have nothing to be sorry for, yeah? now.. since you’re here, and its so late, why don’t we head to bed?”

god, you couldn’t think of anything better.

taglist: @pretty-racha @demetrisscarf @bangtancultsposts @watariisbestboy @yevene @zuzuhasablog @popesfirstluv @zuzuhasablog @hearts4tubatu

[catwyk]

tsv finale spoilers below. i wrote this during my first listen through. its long as fuck. im dead im ruined.

cull calling out to rane instead of faulkner.... rane is truly the real leader now

FAULKNER......

"katabasian rane? sister thurrocks?" im gonna be sick

"hes basically a cow" spit your shit carp

"people in my life keep leavin to serve a cause i just cant understand" BASHES MY HEAD ON THE WALL

"we must love them for fleein from our touch e must not run after them" oh baby :(

this is actually fucking destroying me right now oh poor faulkner. failed by the world.

"of course i recognize you. youre carpenter's ghost" // "yes. i am" // "that must mean that im being punished. arent i?" he sounds so small and young oh my god

"if this is my punishment, then why am i smiling?" OKAY PARALLELS TO HIS VISIONS IN S2. OKAY. IM NOT GOING TO CRY. I WONT.

his monologue is ruining me actually oh god.

"they invented their own faulkner. and they forced me to be him" THATS WHAT IM SAYIN

he called her his sister...

im sure hes gonna die

"you crashed a car??" // "yeeah. i crashed a car." i love her

"they need to fix you, they need to make you better, and ill, ill watch over your bed, ill be there, carpenter. ill pray, ill pray and pray for as long as i need to" christ alive. i need to lay down RIGHT NOW.

méabh de brún too good at acting like shes in pain im abt to dial an ambulance

EM??? EM MENTION. EM MENTION

ok this is fuelling my hc that faulkner reminded carpenter of em in some painful and undefinable way

"i should tell paige that story, if i get to see heg again"

"OUR paige?" CRYING FOR A MILLION YEARS. AND HIS "HUH" AS WELL WHEN CARPENTER CONFIRMS

twin mouths truther forever

"i hate you too, faulkner, i truly do. and i love you, too. in spite of everything" // "always on the very precipice of understanding one another"

faulkner's "DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!" is fucking me up b narr the voice actor everrr

SHES GONNA LEAVE HIM A CAIRN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"there'll be a place for you, and itll be beside me" DRIVING STRAIGHT INTO A LAMPPOST AS WE SPEAK

NO HES GONNA TRY AND KILL HER ISNT HE

"yeah. perhaps thats it. do you?" again. coolest fucking character on the planet

"this is when the waters parted, and at last..! at last he understood!" jesus christ. jon ware the writer that you are

"say you were raised in the service of a god of fire. so you feel like the world would be a much better place if more things were on fire" i busted out laughing WHAT a tone shift

"dennis duplace helped. hayward.. dad.. carpenter.. im leaving all of you behind" i am a husk of a person. lucille valentine knocking it out of the park

"best feeling in the world, seeing you walk away" holy fucking shit this is DAMAGING ME.

i wanna write every quote thats making my heart sting but the transcript is already up so theres no real point

every single va is popping the FUCK OFF by the way. i have to keep reminding myself theyre acting so i dont like. kill myself

val saving hayward was NOT on my bingo card what the fuck

"and before she died... she remembered who she was" OHHHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDDD

hayward doing his own rites of the cairn maiden for himself :(

no gods coming for hayward but "fuck it. this one's not... for any of you. this ones for me"

WHY IS FAULKNER BACK. NONONO ITS ONLY GONNA BE BAD. PLEASE NO

i never realized the parallel between faulkner's gardener father and his gardener god

carpenter meant so much to him :(

"Sister! I love you! Where are you going? Dont turn your back on me! Dont you dare- Sister! I need you! SISTER! SISTER! MARCO! MARCO!" FAULKNER NO NOT LIKE THIS NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

FUCK YOU JON WARE (<- COMPLIMENT)

THE FAULKNER BODY FAKEOUT. SEE ABOVE POINT

carpenter's scream...... oh god.. oh méabh de brún the woman that you are

"he could be a face from my childhood. or his" charlie.......

HES BEEN BLOND THIS ENTIRE TIME????????????? i should have fucking known

"but no matter how it starts, no matter how it turns out for us, it can end with love, cant it? it can end with love. it can end with kindness." i said oh my god out loud

the delivery of "and then i let him go" why not just drive a railroad spike through my lungs

"the river is vast, and no dam can block every channel, and ours is a world of miracles." i said jesus christ out loud

i wheezed when she just. got back up this old bitch cannot die can she

not nana glass' song............

FUCKING TAINSLEY. CHEKHOVS TAINSLEY.

oh my god. a final heartbreaking credits scene

i had to just sit and lean back for a second. what a fucking ending. what a fucking podcast. this is one of those pieces of media that takes up residence in your brain forever. im never gonna stop thinking about this

[legends-of-apex]

‘To Be Alone’ | Tommy Miller x Reader

Rating: 18+ (non-explicit smut, mentions of semi-public sex, fluff, kinda angsty)

Word Count: 650

Summary: A few years after the outbreak, you and Tommy have some time alone together and it’s the least lonely either of you have maybe ever felt. Reader is gender neutral. No use of Y/N. No spoilers for tlou. If you’d like to be added to the Tommy Miller tag list please lemme know <3

His chest shone bronze in what sliver of moonlight managed to cut through the boarded windows. It touched your shoulder too and despite your heavy breaths and warmth that meshed your bodies together, he worried you might suddenly feel empty and cold.

Your body felt like velvet gloved in his sandpaper skin. His palms were so rough and overworked that he felt he almost shouldn’t touch you. But he still burned to. Even after spending the better part of an hour touching you, tasting your skin, his hands still craved the warmth of you. So he made the decision to be selfish and let his hand glide over your bare shoulder.

When his breath evened, he spoke. “You know, back in the day I’d have taken you out to dinner first….. let you ride me in the restaurant’s parking lot till the car’s windows fogged up. If that took your fancy.” He'd have had some shitty CD blaring through the speakers too. The music would be just loud enough to mask your moans to passersby, loud enough that only he got to hear you.

“Here I thought you were trying to convince me you were a gentleman.” You joked and he smiled. It was a sweet thought, almost as sweet as the way you nestled your face in his neck and let a kiss linger there. If this night hadn’t begun with your back pressed against a wall, a shower of paint flecks dusting your hair and your clothes with each thrust, then maybe he could have been considered a gentleman. He certainly kissed like one.

“Maybe after that I’d drive you back home…kiss you underneath the porch light,” his lips pressed against your shoulder, the base of your neck.

It wouldn’t have been like this, was what he was trying to tell you. There would’ve more romance to it, more grandeur. He wouldn’t have made love to you in some abandoned apartment building where the bed creaked like it would collapse at any moment. It wouldn't have been a quick, need-filled endeavour either.

“So you would have been a gentleman? You keep acting like that then I’d have asked you to come inside.” He groaned as you tangled your hand in his tousled, inky hair and cupped the back of his head. Roles reversed, now he let himself sink into your warm embrace. He let you cradle him as though you had all the time in the world, like being here together was all that mattered. And the first time since the outbreak, he let himself breathe. Truly breathe.

He'd been dreaming about taking his time with you, of mapping your body with his. The entire time he thought about it he meant to be gentle. There was already enough harsh and roughness in the decaying world, of which you’d no doubt had your fair share. Why would he want to add himself to the list of things that made your body sore when he could treasure it? Yet when you finally snuck off and had a moment together he realised that you didn’t want gentleness; You wanted him. Nothing more. Nothing less. You reminded him that sometimes pleasure makes the body sore in the hours after. The scrape of your broken nails down his flannel-clad back was a feeling he would certainly treasure forever. Tommy just made sure to promise to be there when your body did begin to ache.

It was so long since either of you felt the touch of another in that way that despite the cold and the harshness of the room you made love in, it felt like being home. The world was such a lonely thing and you were, as everyone was, two lonely people just trying to survive.

What a blissful thing it was then; To be alone together.

[bloodied-serpent]

i hope you know you are driving me & my friends up the walls (in the best way) with your comments on our gifsets about emhyr and cahir. you get them, truly.

tell me more pls 👀

Thank you, I'm so happy to torture you with my tags.

I do want to give major credit to both actors, because the physicality in their scenes is *phenomenal* visual storytelling. The delivery of their lines, from their body language to the tone of voice and the microexpressions, has so much nuance that it creates a really compelling dynamic between the two of them. In every interaction between the two of them, there is purpose behind everything, and it elevates the scenes.

In terms of the characters themselves, vengeance is an ouroboros, and I think this shows in how both of them navigate the world.

What fascinates me about Emhyr is how he weaves the illusion of the White Flame- this untouchable leader who is not only certain in his plan, not just guaranteed to succeed, but he acts like he's already won. His posturing is so cleverly constructed to manipulate the person(s) in front of him. We see this in how he interacts with the dwarf bladesmith, sharing drinks but reminding her of the fact they are not, can not, and will not *ever* be the same. The dwarf says as much, blatantly stating he'd kill her if the sword was faulty. And he doesn't shy away from the admission. He leans into it, cultivates that quiet fear that makes people obey. We never see Emhyr without a signifier of his position. He welcomes Cahir back in armour, as the army leader. He wakes Cahir in elaborate dress, as the emperor. Emhyr is always performing, even when he is alone, and that is his tragedy. He only ever dares hesitate when he is alone, but even as he burns the remnants of his old life, he is not allowed to be himself. He is not permitted to be Emhyr. Emhyr is the ashes of a portrait he threw in that brazier. He is the White Flame, because *that* is who will get him what he wants.

And the show emphasises how everything around Emhyr is cyclical. He condemned Fringilla to unending wine, letting her poison herself just as she poisoned his trust. He drinks with his weapon crafter, in moderation and in good spirits. He banished Cahir to the border, where he had to fight tooth and nail for his life, because he sought to cut Emhyr away from his goal. He asks Cahir to kill the only friend he has, knowing Cahir forgets the word "no" around him.

Cahir, on the other hand, is grappling with his sense of self. The only constant in his life is his king, and his king has no mercy for Cahir. Cahir cannot see choice past yearning for Emhyr, because all he has known is loyalty to him. And this hesitation, this doubt, it's apparent. And Emhyr does not hesitate to exploit it. He understands, I feel, on a fundamental level, that Emhyr understands the fact Cahir treads a fine line between his loss of self and finding one that doesn't need a king. Everything Emhyr does, from rousing Emhyr and using the advantage of his still-hazy mind to feed him crumbs enough to satisfy the ache in his heart before he asks the impossible. Something Cahir is more than willing to do, because it's for Emhyr. And this is validated- brilliantly portrayed- by how Emhyr uses language to alienate Cahir from the Others, effectively telling him things like "do it for us" because he KNOWS how desperate Cahir is for there to be an "us"

And I don't necessarily mean a romantic or sexual us here, it's more that Cahir at his core has a need to belong. So what does Emhyr do? "I wanted to welcome you back myself." Entering his room, throwing him his trousers and sitting with him, shoulder to shoulder, looking him in the eye, and telling him what he wants to hear, all the while affirming his standing as the arbiter of life itself. "Fringilla is dead. You are here," he says, meaning "You are here because I have permitted you to be."

Cahir shatters the mirror, whereas Emhyr burns the portrait. One has potential for introspection. The other is a cut link. We see how killing the elf affects Cahir, how he crumbles inward from the act. There is no one to catch him, and he doesn't recognise who he sees in the mirror, but he's not able to let go. And who would? When you have that security, that fragile peace where all you need to do is obey and you'll be rewarded, why step out of line? He tried it, and it almost got him killed. That is what makes this riveting. Cahir is painfully aware of the danger his doubt brings. And he still voices it anyway, sat side by side with the White Flame, he asks "How do you know when someone's a good leader" but he means "How do I know you're what's best for me?" And Emhyr deflects, using Cahir's need against him to placate him.

Emhyr communicates his inner world beautifully - he lays out expectations rather directly, like when he told Cahir "You did as I asked without hesitation." Hesitation is crucial to Emhyr's character, because it is his weak spot. He clutches the portrait of baby Ciri in his arms as he walks away, carrying only his agenda into the future. He buries anything that will not further his obsession, letting it suffocate and rot, instead of killing it outright, because he fears its ghost too much.

Cahir's woe is intelligence, in that he is aware of it all. He's aware of his need, of his desperation, but he's too afraid to break the cycle. The gravitational pull of Emhyr's influence keeps him in this unending loop of doubt and breakdowns and having his faith affirmed, and he's not allowed to change, because if he regains his sense of self, he will no longer be a malleable asset. Cahir can't seem to fix himself up, which shows in how he has looked throughout the season. Hair and clothes unkempt and rough, the most he managed was washing his face. Compare that with the jewellery and velvet Emhyr wore to wake him, and you get two very different worlds that mirror each other. Emhyr is scared to be himself, Cahir is scared of not being who Emhyr wants him to be.

[adamworu]

Hi, what do you think of the Anime!Kaworu (not manga or Rebuild) analysis called 'Kaworu Nagisa, Ángel del amor y el libre albedrío. Diseccionando a los Ángeles (última parte)' by MistralChronicles?, has English subtitles.

I finally gave it a look after being inundated with life stuff (forgive me for taking long on this) and wow! If you're a Kaworu fan looking for some really indepth analysis your cup will truly runneth over on this one.

Let me start by saying that this lengthy analysis works because it doesn't go deep into his characterization under the assumption that the viewer already knows. It's all conveniently wrapped in one video. For those that already do know, this video acts as an excellent refresher, given how expansive Evangelion's lore is.

(warning for abuse mention)

The first thing that stands out to me in this 2 hour analysis, aside from thoroughly research on Eva's production history is the noted rearranging of Kaworu's surname as Shisha. Shisha means messenger (You'll notice the term Saigo Shisha to refer to the angels in Eva) while also pertaining to death.

This also works well with MOVIC's assigning of Kaworu to the Death Tarot Card.

One door closes and another opens. Kaworu dies and he understands that he is the Last Messenger. In so doing, he ensures humanity's welfare in the process.

I love loved that MC (I'll be abbreviated Mistral Chronicles as MC in this analysis) talked of Draftworu and the scars. I wouldn't call those suicide attempts but I would call those self-harm. That's not to say that Draft iteration Kaworu didn't hold ideas relating to suicide.

MC notes that Kaworu and Shinji's excellent chemistry. Kaworu is more bright and outgoing whereas Shinji is more neutral. This manifests in their shirts: orange and blue, respectively, because they compliment each other.

I think my one pet peeve (even less, actually, just something pointed out) through this analysis however is that Kaworu is directly called Adam. Kaworu's existence as Adam is by proxy. Meaning that because Adam's soul is within him, he's Adam that way rather than being some physical iteration.

Kaworu was meant to be so good that his nature alone would be enough to give Shinji an inferiority complex. MC makes the excellent point that because Kaworu's appearance had to be truncated to one episode, we only ever see not the complex, but rather Shinji's idealization of Kaworu.

I think about this fact a lot. How, even though Kaworu accepts Shinji for who he is, there's a pushback in parts of Eva communities that assumes bad faith on Kaworu's end. It drives me up a wall every so often due to exactly where the bad faith comes from. There's also a part of me that understands that total acceptance and unconditional love aren't impossible manifestations. Out there, there is someone who appreciates and is so in love with you in all ways. We're so used to being around people trying to change key aspects of us rather than trying to comprehend us at our very cores. It makes the words 'I love you' feel all the more surreal. Genuine, unrelenting love for who you are feels like a shock to the system.

(Also small sidebar before we move on: MC goes into how Kaworu can fenagle with Unit-02 despite the non-reconfigured soul. When she says 'he can control a body that is his own' she's referring to the fact that Kaworu, being an angel, is comprised of particle wave matter)

Kaworu has Shinji's support. Anywhere can be paradise. Shinji is his home.

MC points out something that often goes missed by some groups: Kaworu's existence is ultimately integral to Evangelion. Not just to Shinji. Kaworu's status as the Angel of Free Will is an ironic one of sorts. Other angels which preceded him desired to understand more of their lilin 'neighbors', so why then, is Kaworu aligned with such a moniker?

Kaworu's kindness, or his sacrifice to humanity, allowed them that free will. Another reading that I have alongside the aforementioned is that Kaworu's action shows the unsettlingly paradoxical nature of free will; that your freedom exists because someone allowed it for you.

The video also goes on to point out that Kaworu doesn't overstep boundaries (i.e. the bath scene). He thinks that Shinji wants to go with him out of the bath. He doesn't really pry. He's not fully attuned to Shinji's culture to understand why there'd be aversion with acts of sudden closeness. That's not to say that Shinji was grossed out by Kaworu (which he wasn't), but that Shinji's aversion comes from a place of fear from being hurt again.

Now onto Netflix's translation.

MC transitions into the Netflix translation and how it danced around 'It means I love you.' Debates about translation are sometimes had pertaining to this scene. You'll often see people argue about how in the Japanese version 'koui/koi' is purely platonic in nature. Given the actual context with the scene as well as the symbolisms that carry later in in End of Evangelion, this is of course far from the truth. The word is a pun which is doesn't carry well outside the language. The words 'koi' and 'suki' are indeed romantic, and EOE doesn't stand as the only example. The drafts debunk any perception of Kaworu and Shinji's relationship being that of 'just friends.' MC also adds more: that Anno gave the drafts to someone who was versed in writing boys love.

The erasure in the translations was justified via 'Evangelion is an ambiguous work.' Correction: Evangelion's moral to the viewer is ambiguous. The characters have been talked about in supplementary material. That isn't ambiguous.

This snippet here also debunks the platonic angle. When the characters are shown top-down in bed in certain parts of the series, there's some adversity or lack of communication. Shinji thinks of Asuka as only a child (something about glass houses and throwing stones). Asuka did share the sheets with Hikari, though faced away because she felt too vulnerable. But Shinji and Kaworu? They're clicking so much that Shinji divulges to Kaworu about his life prior to the events of Eva. Kaworu offers to sleep on the floor rather than Shinji but Shinji prefers the floor. Shinji catches himself being vulnerable but never backpedals or fronts about his life. At that moment, he was vulnerable with the right person.

Kaworu's such a surreal character in the world of Evangelion because he doesn't really ask anything. He's kind, but far from perfect. But he feels almost immaculate because Evangelion's world comes across to many viewers as cynical. People are often cold and get away with proverbial murder. None of us can understand each other fully because our boundaries not only protect us, but impede us. Fear drives us to be alive but also stunt current relationships while condemning future ones.

The lake scene is brought up in the video analysis in that it makes little to no sense. It's just...weird to think about.

Kaworu's donor is brought up here, though I wouldn't go so far as to say that they 'gave a body.' During the Director's Cut of episode 21, it's stated that Kaworu's conception came about as a Contact Experiment. DNA 'dove' into the flesh of Adam, awakening them. It could have been anything.

Since we're talking of enigmatic lore of Eva, 'clone' is a sort of loose term here. Both of the 'cloned' individuals may have the slight features of their donors, but not by much. Their complexions are pale, nearly calling to mind someone with albinism. Why is it that both of these experiments end in these features?

Love that MC points this out.

Shinji's on the warpath with angels not because of his contempt, but he seeks validation. Then Kaworu comes along, gives him that validation without condition. There's no ulterior motive for his kindness. He loves Shinji for all his flaws.

Shinji's ire for Kaworu's reveal is a front. He's not angry at Kaworu for his status. His forced to fight between two sources of validation, those around him most or Kaworu. Shinji doesn't want to be forced with the troubling revelation that his fight against the angels isn't genuine. This is further reinforced in episode 25 in which he doubles down.

Kaworu explains the AT field, how integral it is to understanding others (and outside to the viewer, important to the plot). The deployment of boundaries can protect you but in the same vein hurt others. MC points out that Unit-02 stabbing 01 is metaphorical, and a clever subtlety at that. The progression knife is inserted in the left side of the Evangelion, where the heart is.

He utters 'Human hope is made from sorrow.' From despair, joy arises. Kaworu realizes that his merging with Adam (biological desire, not moral) would spell annihilation for the whole of mankind and its hopes. As the last of his kind, the onus lies on him to cause a freedom of one species to inherit Earth while the other perishes.

It's also why Ode to Joy is synonymous with Kaworu.

It is why he is the Angel of Free Will.

Take the AT Field's usage into consideration. It can be used to protect, hurt, overstep, or even temporarily shut oneself off from the pains of the world. These are used to navigate the circumstances around you, and this truth implicates the angels, given they're as complex as humanity.

Thus, the larger deployment of Kaworu's AT Field is made clear. Blood stains his hands, regardless of outcome.

On this end, humans do have AT Fields but lack the physiology to deploy them physically. The Fields are instead metaphorical. They exist as veneers of a person, avoidance of an issue, among other things.

Kaworu's designation as the first and last angel is pointed out. This not only goes for the series but also the Rebuilds as well and it works thematically. Kaworu's the 13th angel in Rebuilds and this is juxtaposed in FINAL with Unit 01 as well as 13. 01 in FINAL is considered Hope whereas 13 is considered Despair. Before Kaworu's 'demotion' he was hopeful in that he would be able to save the world without mass death on his head. When realizing he was set up when Shinji retrieves the spears in Rebuilds, he becomes the 13th. In the original this manifests as Kaworu feeling hopeful that he found someone who finally understood him. Someone whom he could love and laugh with. 'Human hope is made of sorrow.' has even more depth, when the above is considered added with Kaworu's empathetic nature. He understands the needs of man, because he feels this way too.

Kaworu feels hope when being around Shinji (Also makes 'I may have been born to meet you' more wholesome) but a sense of sorrow knowing his mission.

He becomes desperate, understanding that if man were to live, he'd need to die.

This is probably the only part I strongly disagree with. One of the biggest horrors of Evangelion is that people do take from others (and they often get away with murder). The cast heaps baggage on each other, or neglects them unless a situation comes in which benefits them. It's not a nihilist bent that Eva goes on, because it'd contradict that anywhere could be paradise. It highlights that humanity is ugly without going into a 'so get over it' angle. Eva highlights that realities are often ugly, but hardly defeatist or smugly pessimistic.

Kaworu's likened to Rei in their sad realities. He sets up to become something larger, but the reasons differ. Kaworu does humanity a kindness of his own accord. Rei? Becomes a mother figure simply because her whole existence of a man's unhealthy coping mechanisms. She is conditioned, start to finish to be a mother. Even though she understands more of her identity thanks to Kaworu, her tragedy is that she doesn't know how not to be anything maternal. Kaworu's kindness is his own and his tragedy derives in knowing the cycle but being a slave to it. His ultimate tragedy is that, for how powerful he is, he's still susceptible to unhealthy cycles, forced to play out that role until it is broken.

It's pointed out that Shinji's depressive spiral goes deeper with Kaworu's death and not just because of the event itself. 'Death is the only freedom.' are chilling words from a boy who could not control his existence but could control his death. This makes the likening of Kaworu to Shinji all the more tragic. Much of Shinji's life was rife with neglect up until this point. Then he had to get rid of a genuine source of validation.

The love of Kaworu and Shinji is mutual. MC dives into misconceptions of how Kaworu and Shinji's relationship is platonic because it lacks the suggestive closeups of Misato, Rei, and Asuka (it's own can of worms). EOE debunks the platonic bent as well the Rebuilds with the numerous references. There's even a heart shaped tree where Shinji and Kaworu play Quatre Mains!

Anno even states Kaworu as an idealized other.

Kaworu's proxy status as a father and mother is noted. While Anno uses chichi (father) as a designation for Adam, Kaworu uses hahataru sonzai for Our Mother. This explains why Kaworu stands as judge over Gendo alongside Rei and Yui. This latter of the designations makes sense, given Adam's status as the progenitor for angels.

Kaworu's status as integral to the plot of Eva is especially solidified during Instrumentality. Rei and Kaworu represent the desire to understand the world around and unconditional love, respectively. He, along with Rei, teaches Shinji that if he were to come back physically, AT Fields would exist once more. Pain would exist. People would not know each other fully. And Shinji allows that for mankind, even after knowing this revelation.'

People like Rei and Kaworu can exist, however. But in our lives, our sometimes unforgiving realities, people like that are rare. There are people that love you for being you. There are people that want to comprehend the complexities the world hands us. I hope that one day, you find both.

That we all find both. That too, is why anywhere can be paradise as long as you have that will to live.

All in all, I loved MC's meticulous dissection of Kaworu's character. It's a welcome addition and it was easy to follow along through all of it. I recommend watching it for anyone reading this who has the time. It's some of the most indepth Kaworu analysis i'd seen in the years I'd been in this fandom and I thank MC for the write-up. And I thank you, anon, for redirecting me to this video dissertation.

[skylarmoon71]

Miguel O Hara (Across the Spider Verse)- Oneshot - Extra

Supervising so many spider people was never easy.

Miguel was doing his usual check. Reports flashed over the screen and his thoughts strayed. He wasn't sure why, but there was something amiss. His ruby gaze shifted to the red printed t-shirt left on the chair. He hadn't so much as moved it since you left it there. Part of it was due to the fact that he spent more time in this office than his own home. He selfishly wanted to be able to watch it whenever he could.

"Lyla, pull up the reports from earth 67."

"You got it boss!"

She saluted and he could see the files begin to stream in. Lyla was wearing a smile until she saw the article. Miguel's eyes drifted over the particular file, and he expanded it on the yellow screen.

"Civilian shot in drive-by hit."

Miguel felt his body stiffened.

He told himself not to assume the worst. That could have been anyone. But his eyes read the name provided in the small print.

"She was shot.."

Lyla nodded slowly, humor gone from her tone.

"According to the article she jumped in front of a kid during a gang altercation. They found the shooter, but she refused to stay in the hospital."

He knew how you felt about hospitals. It was possible that you were bleeding out somewhere because of your stubbornness. The frown on his face deepened. Miguel pulled up a separate window, typing in instructions.

"Lyla, I'll need you to oversee the rest of the missions. Keep me updated. I'll appoint Peter while I'm gone. Make sure he doesn't turn this place into a playground."

"Of course."

He couldn't help but let his eyes run back to the shirt left behind. It felt like a thorn in his chest. He shook his head, sending the message as he took off out the door.

Getting to your universe felt like a routine check. He was used to stopping by the many different streams to check on any potential issues. It was weird stepping through the portal on the chosen building not hearing a sound.

The steady bustling of cars and people was apparent for that time in the afternoon. But the building he stood on was a designated meeting spot. Whenever he made it known that he was coming, you would be right there wearing a goofy smile as you updated him on your recent rescues and heroic acts. You were never modest in your explanation of your saves. It wasn't so much that you boasted, but you truly enjoyed the work you did. He could see it every time you spoke of a crime you stopped, or a person you helped.

You were a social worker, so he wasn't truly surprised. Still, it took a lot to do this job and still smile as brightly as you did. He couldn't do it. That was for sure. The others teased him about his stoic front, but it was the only way he could ensure that he never let himself get reckless. Because it could be at the expense of someone else's life.

The vibration from his watch caught his attention and he pulled up the message.

"You're gonna have to let yourself in. I'm a little under the weather."

There was a coughing emoji attached and he rolled his eyes.

He took off down the familiar path. Over buildings, onto billboards. It took him about ten minutes to get to your apartment. Sliding down the wall of an alleyway, he depixelated his suit when he was shielded. Stepping out, he headed straight for your home. Each step that he took, he prepared himself for what he would see.

It was hard to tell your state just from your texts. You were a master at hiding any emotion that wasn't sunshine affiliated.

The trip up the stairs felt tedious and when he finally made it to your door, he twisted the knob.

The door opened.

"Reckless."

You really should have been more careful. Especially given your lifestyle.

He made his way through your home. The quiet was uneasy. The second he got to your bedroom door, he knocked.

"If you're a robber, come back tomorrow. I'm tired."

Miguel huffed.

He stepped inside and you smiled.

"I feel like I'm constantly babysitting you."

You were laying on the bed in a pair of shorts and a regular t-shirt. Although you were smiling at him, he could see the expression of pain. Your right arm had bandages going all the way down to your wrist.

"I can take care of myself, boss."

Miguel wasn't wearing his suit which was a bit unexpected. It was weird seeing him in regular clothes. In sweats and a shirt, he almost looked like a civilian.

"Did you forget that you aren't bulletproof? You shouldn't be here on your own."

His lecture at that very moment wasn't what you wanted to hear.

"I'm not stupid, I let them take the bullet out first. The second they did I sneaked out. I'm not going to be anyone's guinea pig. Not again."

Your somber tone felt so foreign to him. Medical facilities made you anxious and he could fully understand why. If he'd been experimented on he would have felt the same.

Your head moved in the opposite direction, and he didn't miss the subtle tear drop. You pressed your face into the pillow, your back to him.

"I'm fine, so you can save your disappointment for another time. I'm tired, so you can leave now. As soon as I'm healed I'll be back."

He could understand the reaction. You may have been unnaturally enthusiastic all the time, but you were just as bad as him when it came to asking for help. You must have been scared. Here alone.

"I'm glad you're okay."

Your head turned slowly, not truly expecting the soft look he wore.

As he stood next to your bed, you could see the care behind his often cold gaze. He was genuinely worried. Your cheeks flushed lightly, and you shifted your attention elsewhere to calm your heart down.

"Thanks for checking in on me." You mutter.

It was nice of him. Under all the fusing, you know one thing about Miguel.

He's a great leader.

"Well enough with the mushy stuff, I bet you have more scolding to do. You better get back before the spider society collapses." You joke,

"Peter is keeping a lookout for me."

Your brows furrowed.

"Why would he need to-

Miguel took a seat on the bed, and you jolted.

He didn't say anything, not that he had to. His gaze held so much raw care. For a moment you contemplated that you were infected by the bullet wound.

"I was worried about you cariño."

His hand came down, sinking into the sheets and you can't seem to stop the blush when he leans down slowly. You gulp.

Your eyes were definitely playing tricks on you.

"Y-You were?"

He licked his lips, now so close, yet he didn't initiate anything.

Just nodded.

"Whenever you run off I'm worried. I know you feel obligated to fix everything. You always put yourself in the line of fire and it's infuriating. But admirable. You're one of the best that we have."

Never in your existence did you think the Miguel O'Hara would be complimenting you. He must be ill.

"I-Is everything alright, d-do you have a fever!!"

You pressed your hand to his forehead and you could see that familiar look of irritation.

So maybe he wasn't sick.

He closed his eyes with a sigh, and when they reopened, he took your wrist, pressing it softly into the bed. Your eyes widened at the action, and you were about to form some more wide theories, but his lips stopped any attempt.

The softness was the first thing you registered. A few of his curly strands fell, tickling your forehead. You were still trying to rationalize what was happening. Because you weren't dreaming.

Miguel was actually kissing you right now.

His hold on your wrist loosened, and you shivered when his thumb brushed your cheek so tenderly. It felt like this was a completely different person. The gentleness was so unlike his personality. You leaned in as much as your weakened body would allow, and Miguel grinned when he felt your reciprocation. Your hand gravitated into his hair, tugging softly.

This is the very definition of heaven.

When he pulls away, you whine. You don't have all your strength and you want nothing more than to feel his lips again. Miguel's head moves to the side and your breath comes out in a shaky stutter when he starts leaving light kisses against your neck.

"M-Miguel.."

This still feels a bit unreal.

When he slides into the bed, you do your best to get your heart back to a normal rhythm. You're afraid that if he gets too close he'll hear it.

How much you're enjoying this.

His hand slides the covers to the side as he pulls back. The soft glow of those red eyes are like hypnosis.

"I'd hoped that when I finally got to touch you, we would be able to both fully enjoy it."

His hand moves up your hip and you let out a soft moan when he cups your breast. He takes in everything. That breathless expression. Those longing eyes. You look completely flustered, yet so ready for him. Your grip is still on his shirt as you try to urge him closer despite the color that has overtaken your cheeks. You want to continue, but he knows you must be exhausted. He smiles internally.

He pulls his hand back, brushing your hair back as he leaves a kiss on your forehead.

"Rest up."

It's said so softly, and you grumble in protest. But your eyes are beginning to lull.

There's plenty of time for this once you're healed. 

[velvetvexations]

tbh it's kinda frustrating how some transfems act like they're not allowed to say transmisogyny anymore. the shit like "if only there was a word to describe this specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny we face. oh well." really rubs me the wrong way. nobody has been saying that transfems can't use that word! nobody's saying transmisogyny isn't a Real and Palpable form of oppression that transfems face! well, maybe someone is but they're not representative of the broad scale discussion around TME/TMA language and also they are being a shitty person. but there's this fuckin melodramatic "oh woe is me I am so beset upon by the horrible transmisogynists who won't let me talk about my oppression" and it's especially hurtful because transmascs ARE told we're not allowed to use our word. the denial of being able to have the language to discuss our oppression IS happening. it's frankly driving me up the fucking wall that they can't/won't make the connection like c'mon please you understand being denied the language to talk about your oppression is harmful you are saying so with your own fucking words you understand the denial of that language is a bad thing right you get that right so why is it okay to do to trans men? is it the pushback against TME/TMA language?? is it the idea of transandrophobia implying everyone else is an oppressor even when that's not actually what's being discussed?? is it viewing transmisogyny through a radical feminist framework positing transmisogyny as the ultimate font of oppression from which all other oppressions flow??? I want to be charitable but I don't understand why other trans people talking about their oppression is interpreted as a threat, or why it's bad that other marginalized groups within the queer community are asking for specifically TME/TMA usage to be changed so that it doesn't throw the rest of us under the bus.

sometimes it really hurts knowing just how little the so-called trans "community" actually cares about people who aren't the correct flavor of trans

(disclaimer inb4 the replies: I've experienced shit of this general variety a lot irl and it doesn't just happen in online spaces even though I really really wish it did. I'm sure there's good irl trans spaces out there but I don't have access to them in my area and the ones I do have access to make me feel like I'm in a fucking panopticon where everyone is just waiting for me to slip up and say the wrong thing so I can get thrown out. going to an irl trans space to connect with the community in a safe and healthy way is not and has never been an option for me. on an individual level I know plenty of transfemmes who I have had normal and healthy relationships with both irl and online, it's trans "community" spaces that make me feel unsafe. including tumblr)

they will truly take anything and everything as an assault on their dignity and freedom while happily kicking over others

[angryteapott]

I think one of the things I actually like about Fang Duobing's and Di Feisheng's relationships to Li Lianhua is that they don't get him all the way, but truly understand a specific part of him.

The part that Fang Duobing gets is they both have a genuine desire to do good. I'd also argue that both of their ideas of good can be hypocritical and inconsistent in similarly emotional ways. I think Li Lianhua becomes truly interested in Fang Duobing for the first time when he tries to get justice for those unrelated guards, and over and over it's shown they share each other's overall goals even when they're supposedly not working together. They share the same broad ideal.

But Fang Duobing has a very different view of their current world and what people owe each other- twice in the conversation at his shiniang's house Fang Duobing brushes off Li Lianhua's regret, and especially earlier in the story he sees the world as something that can easily be reverted back to righteousness through personal effort- the difference between becoming a detective and trying to change the institutions of the world by founding a court. Li Xiangyi saw the world's structure as something that needs correcting, and while he gives that up Li Lianhua sees how circumstances push people. This makes perfect sense; Li Lianhua was orphaned and treated unfairly, only rescued by others while Fang Duobing is a rich kid whose struggles (being sick) were overcome by personal effort (and expensive medicine, which he would take for granted) which rings as ableism to me as a plotline but im not disabled so idk

Di Feisheng gets this other half- he intimately knows how viscerally cruel and unfair the world is, and so he gets Li Xiangyi's need for excellence and control issues and Li Lianhua's sometimes cold eyed assessment of things. But he wasn't rescued nor allowed to save others so he sees that cruel world as something he can act honorably within but whose dog eat dog nature he can't change- be a swordsman not a hero.

Neither of them get how Li Lianhua's drive for good and his knowledge of the world's injustice create guilt for his what too bold actions (which FDB endorses) in a cruel world (which DFS sees as inevitable) resulted in, driving him to egotistically and self destructively attempt to "finish his business". They also didn't truly get his love of a simpler life, his exhaustion with pain and striving, and how he was ready to let go. In part because he never told them that in a way that wasn't tainted with guilt or lies my guy stop saying it in ur bs tone and just say how ur feeling i swear to

So neither of them really understood him fully, which is human especially when someone's lying to you 24/7 li lianhua im in ur walls. Understanding something fundamental about someone doesn't mean comprehending their every thought.

I think what makes Fang Duobing closer to understanding him in the end is that he was trying so hard to listen and understand Li Lianhua, constantly trying to meet him three quarters of the way there. That's why I'm obsessed with that conversation at Madam Qin's- Fang Duobing misunderstood and denied his regret once then twice, then said, fine, you're right. You should've tried harder in that relationship, and I should've tried harder in ours. We already said we're friends. I was wrong for the moment where I wasn't reaching out for you. But Li Lianhua never reached back.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 3 Part 2

Why the hecking heck am I so slow. I need to catch up! I will do so this week! Don't hold me to my word, please!

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

05: The long goodbye

Poor Brad. He’s in all over his head. He does not even have any fighting experience!

There he is! Our well-prepared, dead man! Being sucked in by the darkness that followed the bloodbath!

The things Wolfwood protects are painted in crass contrast to him. They are just white outlines. They are innocence. Wolfwood on the other hand is painted in blood, black suit, dark hair.

Nightow likes to drive home why Wolfwood is able to do such brutal acts. Without him contrasting Wolfwood’s actions with the closeups to his face showing his despair and intersecting with Wolfwood thinking about the kids he protects, I don’t think the readers would feel so much empathy for Wolfwood. Nothing about Wolfwood’s fight is clean or straight, unlike Vash’s. Vash is somewhat in control during his fight, no, he has control. He can keep the enemy at bay, he lets the puppets close and acts only when he knows they truly are puppets. He talks to Emilio and tries to get through to him. Wolfwood has no such power. He hasn’t even got words left. Wolfwood’s fight is direct, gory, bloody, brutal, and personal. It reads like a rabid animal fighting for its life, being cornered and having no way out, baring its teeth and tearing its enemy apart. But who can fault him for it?

Other users already pointed out that Wolfwood’s eyes go bright when he is in emotional stress. This a desperate animal trying to stay alive, to not die. But Nightow intersects Wolfwood physically killing the little people in Ninelives so brutally with Wolfwood needing to concentrate on the reason why he does it. For me, it reads like Wolfwood outright fully dissociating while he kills Ninelives. Fleeing to his safe place and the reason why he persists in this world. Wolfwood is truly a monster, but even at his most monstrous we get to see him at his most human, too. Brutal and cold, his actions may be, but they are not done by hatred, but stem from a love for someone. His expression visibly softens while he thinks about the orphanage. 

It is extra horrific that the little people inside Ninelives are so small, childlike from their height and body proportions. It must be extra hard for Wolfwood. Wolfwood needs therapy after this!

Another reason why I read this as dissociating is that the other two Ninelives are able to sneak up on Wolfwood. He shuts himself off and is unable to hear or sense them in any way and leaves his back completely open, even though he knows there are many people in the body and he doesn’t know how many. It is unlike Wolfwood to let his walls down like that. He's at a breaking point.

When you want to protect the corpse of your childhood sweetheart and you accidentally topple over like a domino game. This panel made me laugh.

Time for a concussion! Not like Nightow really thinks about the consequences of head trauma *stares at Vash giving head trauma left and right* This trope, I hate and love it. 

*pats Brad* Sorry, buddy. Now you know, too.

Either Brad vomits because of the revelation or because of the headtrauma. Porque No Los Dos?

Brad says: Yeet the creep! Not gonna lie, that is a very intelligent way to deal with the intruder. The part with the power is interesting. Brad is very aware of the power source and what they need it for. Foreshadowing?

Vash to the rescue! Even after all Emilio did, Vash doesn’t want him to die. I have many feelings about that. Not all are positive towards Vash. Not all are bad, either. It’s a difficult situation and a difficult stance. No one would have faulted him for not trying to save the man who killed and vivisected so many of his loved ones. Some may even take offence to it. There is no right answer in the grand picture, but Vash can at least know that he did all he could from his ideal’s perspective.

Emilio chooses to die. He cannot live with the loss of Isabel, his not-girlfriend. At least I conclude that Emilio never told her and the regret eats him alive. I hope that is no foreshadowing for Vash, since Emilio is kinda his counterpart to Vash in this arc. Both are men made by grief. Emilio even compared Vash and himself at the beginning, both harbouring so much grief and suffering behind their masks. Being a higher being like Vash means for Emilio that Vash is able to just deal with the losses, totally dehumanising Vash. But he does not see that Vash does not do it. The people who he really connects to haunt him and their memory controls him til today, like with Rem. Emilio and Vash also mirror each other in the way they feel about their life. Emilio does not want to live a life without Isabel and chooses to die when he cannot even have her corpse, the illusion of her at his side, Vash does not really want to live either, without Rem or any real connection, but he still avoids those. Our latent suicidal boy :C 

That looks biblical… Also, Wolfy? You still there? You look completely gone.

Aw, the girls have his back! Did… Did Milly shoot them through the ceiling? She looks so delighted. “Look what my gun can do! Weee!” Why do I get a flashback to the 98’ scene where Vash is like: “I know a shortcut!” And proceeds to shoot through like 20 floors down.

What do the first two panels even mean? Argh! Please, someone tell me.

Hehe, in the “Nick” of time. You did that on purpose, didn’t you, Milly? Is that the Toma-Dude calling down to them? Wolfwood looks just so done. 

06: Families

Interestingly, the title does not say ”Family” singular, but plural. So it will be about the contrast between Vash’s blood family and Vash’s chosen family?

I am not laughing at Knives’ silly BDSM-getup with the 6 eyeholes, while having a fucking round piano thingy around him. I am totally not laughing at him. His get-up reminds me somewhat of Belzebub, the master of flies. But I am not laughing at him. … I am. I am laughing at Knives.

And he shoots just a hole into the ceiling… For funsies.

Aw, a memory of Doc and how they found Vash! Q_Q

HOSPITAL YURI! HOSPITAL YURI! HOSPITAL YURI! AHHHHHHHHH! He woke up to Wolfwood’s heartbeat! Vash looks so somft when he realises that it is Wolfwood! But also so distraught at either the condition that Wolfwood is in or worse, he faults himself for it because they argued about their ideals before.

Not gonna lie, I’d react the same way. Jessica reads weird to me with her puppy crush. They met when she was like 5, she is now around 17 years old and still has her infatuation on high drive. Maybe I am too autistic to get that. *sits with the insurance women and is confused*

Why… does Meryl hit him over the head? Vash is just really happy to see her. He does not do anything creepy like '98 Vash. They are having a moment here! This is so outta the blue. Is it one of those tsundere jokes? That Meryl is unable to show her true relief and thus acts out? Meh :C 

I love how they then awkwardly proceed to give him business cards. I know business cards are incredibly important in Japan. But the insurance women give them one handedly, which is not right as far as I know. They hold them out more like badges. They are such cute weirdos.

LUIDA! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOUR STYLE! AHHHHHH!

And good on her for putting on Vash’s head right. He rescued them! His existence is not wrong. These are Emilio’s, Ninelive’s and Knives’ actions! I love how down to the matter Luida is. But at the same time, she avoids talking about Doc. She is hurting, too. But she needs to be a leader now, first and foremost. But her grief is palpable.

Sidenote: In ‘98 the whole ship was pretty hostile towards Wolfwood as an outsider. And they even turned on Vash in the end. And damn, that was really hard to watch. Maybe that’s why I saw and see Brad in a harsher light, because he was kinda the summary of the ship's behaviour. I really, really like that Nightow did not keep this up. Vash has been through so much and FINALLY there is an adult that can understand cause and effect and “judges” Vash for what he does and not for who is after his ass. It is the question of who is at fault, the gun or the one who pulled the trigger. Who do you hate, the gun or the person who shot?

No, another nightmare for Wolfwood? At least now I got my question answered if anyone ever saw him get one. Vash did.

This is a funny scene, but it says so much sad stuff. The second Wolfwood is conscious, worse from a nightmare, he is alarmed. He needs to check his surroundings for safety first before he can even allow himself to check up on his body’s condition. Didn’t he break all his ribs? Every breath must be painful, but no, he needs to check his safety first. A hospital should be a place where people feel safe, but Wolfwood surely does not. And as soon as he spots Vash, his mask is back on and he is his usual snarky self. And that after a nightmare that woke him up! GODDAMN! GIVE THIS MAN THERAPY!

Damn, going right at his own throat. Vash does not judge Wolfwood. Wolfwood judges himself and projects that onto Vash. And Vash denies him. He thanks him, instead. Here, Vash is understanding Wolfwood, but Wolfwood doesn’t understand Vash due to his own prejudices. Wolfwood cannot accept that someone does not judge him as hard as he judges himself. Man, those men.

“I’ve burdened you with my own ideals.” Such a raw line. I love it. What I am missing a bit in Vash is that we see Vash reflect upon other people. We get Wolfwood who constantly reflects upon himself and others and judges, we get Meryl trying to understand Vash and bringing his inhumanity together with his apparent softness that he has shown again and again, we get Brad dealing with Vash’s unchanging immortality and the way he bonds with people in a very inhuman way. But we don’t get Vash reflecting on how other people impact him. Even now, his stance is how he affected Wolfwood, not how Wolfwood affects him. Vash is unchanging. For the better and worse. That may be by intent from Nightow, since Vash is such an inhuman being. Maybe even we, the readers, aren’t prone to get a true insight of him and only bits and pieces from the story to build up our own image.

“The way he talks, his words... they contradict everythin' I stand for. Immortality.” Foreshadowing?! 

Is it truly Vash’ apparent immortality that scares Wolfwood? Or is it the sudden realisation that Vash is so much longer than Wolfwood on the planet and still holds onto his “naive” ideals? That nothing he experienced did deter his optimism? Wolfwood already breaks under the burden of his priorities, the orphanage and thus his own survival. But for Vash, it is everyone except himself. To grapple such an idea and see it successfully executed is jarring. It is inhuman. Vash is inhuman and this is the point that Wolfwood truly understands his inhumanity. And it fucking scares him

07: His life as a …

A reminder that No-Man’s-Land is pretty lawless. Why does law exist (in theory)? The law is there so people do not abuse their power. So people don’t take revenge. It is there so that after a misdeed families don’t run into blood feuds taking revenge upon revenge until the triggering act is forgotten but the stream of blood does not stop. The men in the beginning of the chapter do exactly that, use their power to exact pure revenge over people in their captivity. This is an extremely ugly consequence of people willing to do everything to protect their families. I can empathise why they do it, but I don’t approve of it.

Vash is about 180cm in the manga. How small is Luida? Damn! Also, baby Brad! Baby brat Brad! So the front page shows Luida, the doc, maybe doc's father and Brad and Jessica. It looks like a family picture. Is Doc Luida's father? How does Brad relate to her? Or Jessica? Brad wanting to woo her at least should mean that they aren't related.

This scene always gets me. Luida putting her foot down and just being a boss. It is so small, but so telling about the characters. I love how Wolfwood just respects her rules, even though he chimes in like a little boy with: “But it ain’t even lit.”

I also love that Wolfwood just carries his drip like the punisher.

Vash shows Meryl and Milly an extremely important part of him. He is showing vulnerability, but at the same time… I don’t know, it feels incomplete? Vash is staring away, at his past and more importantly at Rem, while Meryl watches him and reflects upon their experiences. Meryl watches from the outside, she does not get any insight.

We, the readers and Wolfwood, get a bit of a summary about Vash’ past, but I don't know if Meryl and Milly do get it. It looks a bit like it, but at the same time absolutely not. There is a hint that Vash is older than them, but it is a hint: “It’s from a long time ago. Before your grandparents were born.” It is from before he was born, too! But it has been on this planet since before their grandparents were born. He is not part of the sentence. But it is subtle and I would not get it when I was in the insurance women’s shoes. Milly may have gotten it, but the scene focuses on Meryl. Does Vash tell them about his past? I don’t think so. If he did, why does Meryl think that she can see his enigmatic past laid out there? Why are we shown this introspection without any Oh!-moment? It is more about feeling and not knowing. The cuts to his past are always told from Luida’s/ Home’s perspective and focuses on Wolfwood’s reaction. Vash is truly a man where you need to pull every info out of his nose by force. 

“This time… it is possible…” What is possible? Wolfwood is focused on Vash’ age, so I understand that he immediately zooms in on Vash dying, but I read that more as a worry for Vash. Vash is passively suicidal. That is a fact. 

But why is it a foolish question? What does Luida mean with Vash’ true immortality? Sorry, that I totally do not get. Yes, if Vash used his true power no one would stand a chance, but he doesn’t because he gives everyone else power over him. That reads as a cry for redemption. We, the readers, know that Vash feels an immense loss for Rem and that’s why he needs to protect every last living human. But self flagellation for an idol is still a cry for some kind of absolvement or redemption. Does Luida mean that he could just regenerate? Knives should have been able to do that! He needed a new body because Vash damaged his old one too much. But Vash choses the pain that comes with the mutilations he endured. That is self hate. So why is Wolfwood wrong by assuming it is a cry for redemption? Or is the question foolish because it is too obvious. (I really need input here, please.)

Uh, okay, I got my answer. Luida agrees with Wolfwood that Vash wishes for a form of redemption.

I still stand by my point that knowing everybody’s face and name may be amazing, but it does not mean true connection. Vash does not feel connected to them for me. If everyone is important, no one is. He is a human caretaker and not part of the group.

Another user already pointed out that Wolfwood’s face is torn (tell me who you are and I add you, better show me the post and I link that one). 

The left side is smiling affectionately and the right side looks forlorn and commiserating. While I don’t think Wolfwood accepts Vash’s point of view, he emphasises with the pain that Vash carries around and comes to terms with Vash’s point of view here. Vash won’t change it. It is something Wolfwood cannot change, even though he wishes to. While he does not understand it, he starts to admire Vash’s resilience and strength. Additionally to that, the talk with Luida helped Wolfwood understand that Vash’s behaviour does not come from not understanding the world, what he thought even at the start of the chapter, but by outright fighting the status quo. The last sentence drives that home for me. Vash is not a true gunman that tries to look on the bright side of life, Vash is a true gunman that keeps trying to look on the bright side of life. This is an active decision of Vash’ part and that makes a big difference. Maybe here, Wolfwood even starts to wish to protect Vash for it.

[saeithoshiswife]

How haikyu boys would act today

~If haikyu boys were highschoolers today how would they act? This i purely based on my opion ofc and if your guys like this please send me more charcters.~

Includes- Atsumu, bokuto, kurro, kenma,

Bokuto-

Says gyatt on the regular to random girls (Borderline sexual harrasment) or uses it in everyday language like "Ive gyatt to get to class guys"

Definitely used to naruto run in middle school to all of his classes

so annoying in class and when the teacher says something hell immdentaily throw his hands up and say he didnt even do anything. He might even ask the quiet girl in the corner if he did anything and when she doesnt respond he responds for her like "She agrees with me you just cant hear her"

used to say sheesh along with the lip biting and pose

"im not like other guys ive seen the notebook" when it was probably akkashi who was watching it and bokuto came in the room for 0.2 seconds

I think him and kuroos jokes would be either racist, homophobic, sexiest or all

used to wear the iconic black savage shirt with the red border around the font

he makes so much fun of the girls he likes

Atsumu-

one of those rich boys with the moms that are inlove with them and think he cant do any wrong especially to women

big slur user especially to your face. if he doesnt like you hell say them or hell just say them like its no big deal

owns a speed boat that he illegal drives and host partys on. hell post on his snap story being like 'this party is such bruh p/u'

cries to his mom

punches walls

used to dress and act like josh richards and noah beck in 2021

a literal women hater like os much its hard to belive hes not guy but hes always objectifying them so hes not

used to moan in middle school thinking it was funny

duck lips with the peace sign all the time and hes being completley serious

in a frat when hes in college

peaked in highschool

Kenma-

when speaking to a women hell ask her what her favortie game/anime is and then ask her to name 3 charchters and when she does he will immdeantiley discredit those charcters. Also he will call the anime she chose super popular so theirs no way shes an actual fan

smells like shit an stays up all night so there bags under his eyes. his hair is so greasy you could cook with it

"erm actually- goku solos every single anime verse"

call people racial slurs on the games only

follows that chicki guy who dances everyday until he gets a girlfriend

victim of the 2020 bleach phase

most horrible genshin impact player he mains mona, Rosiaria, bediou, itto and bought all the the outfits that came with them.

has a hatsume miku body pillow

since he doesnt shower he will just coat himself in axe body spray

grows out of everything and peaks right after college

Kuroo-

i honestly had no idea what to say about this man so i tried my best i belive this man is a sexy angel from the bottom of my heart so i had to truly think

used to stink like kenma but grew out of it in middle school

when he gets rejected he'll post 'nice guys always finish last'

acts dumb but is really smart

calls double dates 2 mans

wear his hat backwards with the sides of his hair sticking from under

white airforce energy

slept with everyone but somehow hes not slut shamed

with call girls whores when his body count is double theirs

doesnt believe in womens rights but also doesnt want to become a man so hes just insecure

in volleyball he will try to spike as hard as he can and purposefully hit someone in the face

became a nice respectable man because i believe his mother doesnt play like that and taught him a lesson at his old age for repecting women

secretly a munch and whorships his girlfriend acting like a baby in private and then an asshole in pubic

"this ones for you babe" the it goes out giving you the ick

poses in the gym mirror for his snap streaks

used to follow andrew tate and all those man quotes before his mom told him to cut it out