#not everybody loves hal

[arithecreatorsstuff]

Cruel and Malicious Phraseology

Since the JLA ban on profanity in the workplace took effect, some of us have gotten rather inventive in expressing our less positive sentiments. No guesses for which member of the Old Guard had the most insults hurled at them, but... his initials are HJ. There is no context, only hostility.

"I could put an entire box of alphabet pasta through a spin cycle and come up with a better plan than that. Stop trying to be Batman, one is enough."

"Go stick your head inside a black hole, you posh knobhead!"

"Listen here, you overhyped rodent posterior... rocking up like you're the brightest glow stick in the rave negates the very idea of a stealth mission. Adjust your glow to match your intellect, please."

"You got this, huh? Looks like you handled that masterfully. Tell you what there, Mastermind... let me know if you need help finding your teeth after that glorious victory."

"Plans A, B, AND C all tanked? Over to you, Glowworm, you usually head straight to Plan D for "dumb crap" anyway."

"Quick question, do you even Metal Gear?"

"Oh, what in the unholy name of Ymir's jockstrap did we walk into this time?"

"Do... do the Big Bosses not realize pockets are a thing? Like, where am I supposed to keep my wallet, or anything, really? Is the Marquis de Sade the staff tailor, because wearing this is gonna drive me mad."

"You and I have been friends for a while, but... when you say things like that I kinda want to stab you in the eye with an explosive arrow."

"I get now why you prefer being underwater. Less dumb. Much less screaming. Speaking of... I bet you know some epic dive spots. They'll be at this for hours, we're not needed here. If the Boss asks, you're teaching me marine ecology in the wild."

"Huh. Here I thought Joker held the title for "Most Punchable Face on Earth", yet here's the new heavyweight contender, ready to throw down for the belt."

"Go boil your head in some more of that cheap weak sister beer!"

"Why don't you go hug a claymore mine already?"

"Eat my boots!"

"No, ma'am, I'm not ready for that jelly, I prefer cream cheese on my bagel anyway. You're... not talking about food, are you? Oh, monkey bread."

"Repeat after me: Pants. Are. Not. Optional!"

"I'd rather drown than EVER go clown. I might not have taste, but I have standards."

"Oh, by Artemis' sandals what did you do this time?"

"Yanno, you and a certain dirty old man thunder God have the same issue: too focused on the ladies to do your job. Eyes in the head, you ain't her type. Trust me."

"IN THE NAME OF SIGYN'S GIRDLE WILL YOU STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME LIKE THAT! The Boss can get away with it, as he was trained in silent infiltration and is not a creepy drunken sorry excuse for a washout. Either knock on the door like a normal human, or run the risk of having to sing "I've Got A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" to even enter the men's locker room."

"You died? I see your brain sure stayed dead."

"It's a RAID, not a rave. Lose the shiny stuff and glow trim, we're trying the Splinter Cell approach. Also... do you really need the three extra ammo belts? They're thugs, not the blooming Xenomorphs."

"I know over 20 languages, yet cannot explain exactly how much I'd like to beat you with a pufferfish."

"But did you die again? No? So... why so grumpy, Mr. Grouchy von Groucherson?"

"How? How do you claim to be a master shot, yet miss the ginormous glaring weak spot every time? Are you a plant from the Court of Owls? Make it make sense."

"Huh. Sniper scope, but still can't see the obvious. Just ask her already! Aphrodite help me, but you're blind if you can't see she likes you."

"Thanks, but I don't associate with the chronically dumb."

"A date? Let me check my calendar. Sorry, looks like I'm going to be washing my hair for the foreseeable future."

"Would you kindly get your head out of the poor man's rear entrance so he can get some work done?"

"Games teach you problem solving in real time, teamwork, the importance of understanding the mechanics in any situation, how to manage difficult individuals, pattern recognition, and much more. Odin's eyepatch, you must be a pretentious little sod to think you can't learn from gaming. Now quit whining and pick your fighter already. You're holding up the match."

[insufferable-homestuck]

gift for Desta @conceptofjoy i drew xem with the BITCHES < caliborn voice

[shinyobservationtree]

"AR: Jake, come here I wanna take a selfie."

For @alphacule week prompt Warm!! I'm not three days late, don't worry about it

[ryehouses]

the DND party, chanting: jod's rod! jod's rod! jod's rod of vonindod!

[penisliker-moved]

started replaying tp (NOT TOILET PAPER!!!!!) with my sibling yayyy yayyyy skipping around

[hals-homo-blog]

hi hi u do not have 2 answer this if u do not want 2 but thank u so much 4 the spam&the very nice words on ur reblogs! does not happen every day&was such a pleasant surprise when logging on hahah :) it means a lot. hope u r doing well&have a good day! or night!

AHHH It was my pleasure going through and seeing all ur DudeMarnie art lmao. I loooove ppl shipping their ocs/self inserts with the Dude tbh, it's so fun. YOUR art in particular, I notice every time you draw the Dude, you make his Shit Eating Grin even Bigger and I Love That So Much tbh LMAO.

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Batman gets hit with a love spell during battle that knocks him out and will make him fall in love with the first person he sees when he wakes up. The league takes him back to the tower and while they wait for Zatanna or Dr Fate to come help break the spell they all agree Superman should be who Batman sees and he can deal with a lovestruck Batman. Only, when Bruce wakes up and sees Superman, he doesn't act any differently. He just gets up and demands a mission report and tries to go about business as usual, much to everyone's confusion (and to the disappointment of Hal, who had his phone out ready to record). They explain the love spell and wonder why nothing happened and Bruce just says that obviously it didn't work and to not worry too much about it.

The spell did work it's just that Bruce was already in love with Superman so nothing actually changed outwardly. Zatanna gets there a few days later and examines him, and is also confused bc there's definitely a love spell on him and there's no reason it shouldn't be working. To prevent her from looking further into it and making a big deal, Bruce, in private, hints at why there might not be any effects. Zatanna gets it and agrees to remove the spell and say that it just wasn't that strong after all.

Everybody seems to accept that explanation and move on, except for Clark, who knows his best friend is hiding something and he's determined to find out what.

[luludeluluramblings]

What do you think of a Reader as a teenage anti-hero. They have a pretty upbeat personality, don't ask why. They like to tease others and especially they like to stimulate competition for the love of Bruce from Batkids

Bruce: I don't think my kids love me.

Reader: *Shows Bruce the Batkids arguing about who is Bruce's best kid*

I have thought about Anti-hero Reader on the regular. (I keep getting distracted by it, too.)

Slight, very slight, NSFW themes below

I tend to make an OC and then change their background for different scenarios. I have thoughts of an Anti-Hero!Smalltown!Reader that causes chaos cause therapy in Gotham is shady AF, but this version of Reader wouldn’t be related to the Bats at all. (I kinda wish I had written and posted that version, but I wanted to do a neglect story. Maybe after the neglect story I’ll do it. I would still keep the weather powers, though. I came up with a fun vigilante name for them already.)

Both versions of Reader, however, are petty and teasing.

So here’s a short list of petty things Reader would do to be passive aggressive.

Calls everyone, except Bruce, daddy. (Damian is exempt because he’s still technically Reader’s brother.)

Claims Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) is their favorite Justice League member. Would also call him Daddy. Yes, in that way.

Would claim Jon as their new brother, he is also exempt from the daddy name due to being so precious. (Of course, he will be salty about it.)

Buys suspicious things to throw in the trash. Reader knows they’re the world biggest snoops, might as well make things awkward for everybody when they do.

Will ask questions and say things they know will start arguments, even if it means playing stupid. “Is water wet?” “The earth is flat.” This also includes triggering competitions between everyone.

Will absolutely roast the ever loving shit out of each respective member’s alter ego right to their face.

Refers to Batman as Stellaluna.

Reader is the epitome of Bruce’s Brucie Wayne persona. They play bimbo/himbo/jimbo act just for the troll factor. And, the family will fall for it at times.

I might add more to this later. I was very excited about this ask. Unfortunately, I had to rest because it was grocery day and it’s hotter than the devil’s left testicle where I live. Sucks me dry of all my energy. (I have part Six pretty much done, too. It’s coming. I’m just dragging my feet.)

[electricphantasy]

Hey everybody, back again with my art! I thought I'd come out with my designs for if some A.I.s had a robotic, more mobile form. I kinda wanna go through my thoughts about their designs, so here we go!

HAL 9000: I wanted him to be very human-like with a lot of his details resembling human muscles. No colors, and all monochrome except for his bright red accents. I imagine he was built to be more so function over form, so he's kind of simple compared to the other A.I.s. His outfit is very professional - suit, tie, and all. His cape being a reference to his memory banks, since I love that scene despite how sad it is.

AM: Now I also wanted him to be human but in a more spooky, skeletal way. Very hunched over, broken down, and needing repairs. He has a little monitor where his heart would be that says HATE. Also, I took away AM's leg privileges, so underneath his HATE cloak is just more confusing wiring. I also want to reference the HATE monolith, so his entire cloak is covered in the word, hate. If that doesn't scream AM, I'm not sure what does.

Edgar: Edgar basically has 2 different designs - The design of the movie, and the design of the poster. To combine them I made most of his body based on the one in the movie, like taking his monitor from the movie and putting some limbs on it. He also gets a devil headband and clip-on belt to reference his more common, movie poster design. Edgar also gets the comfiest wardrobe with a heart tee-shirt and jeans.

TAU: Now TAU gets a very odd body shape, mostly because I wanted him to match Aries, (The robot in the movie) but in a less threatening way? Also floating limbs, because I said so. TAU actually has quite a few colors, despite advertising just using red, so he gets a gradient of red to green in his accents. I tried for the life of me to give him a wardrobe, and the closest I could get was a little, see through cloak. :(

[buckets-and-trees]

This one is the one that truly hurt to pick only one option!

[katsumox]

DC MEN AND THE FIRST DANCE.

aka my fav dc boys, their first dance songs at y’all’s wedding, and a lil blurb.

DICK GRAYSON has cried three separate times today, this dance officially making it four. Dean Martin’s “Everybody Loves Somebody” crackles through the speakers, causing your husband to smile again, before tearful kissing your forehead. The two of you sway in silence, letting the music speak for you. “I love you,” Dick breathes, “I love you infinitely.”

JASON TODD has been narrowly avoiding a literal breakdown all night, but this, he decides, is the icing on the cake. As “At Last,” by Etta James begins, Jason tries his damndest to maintain his veneer of suave confidence, finally cracking when you place a kiss to his hand. As a few tears leave his eyes, he kisses you. He tastes of icing, love, and salt. His siblings and father are more of a mess than he is, as they’ve been sobbing and snotting all through the ceremony and reception.

BRUCE WAYNE, as stoic as he is, can’t help but let a few tears escape his eyes as the two of you spin and sway to Nancy Wilson’s “Tonight May Have to Last Me All my Life”. He opens his mouth to speak, but a choked sound leaves his throat as he rubs your wedding ring. His mother’s ring. Years later, he says the day of your union was absolutely perfect, but you know a part of him wishes Thomas and Martha were there to see it.

HAL JORDAN hums as he stares into your eyes, unblinking. “Can’t believe I’m your husband,” he sighs, tracing your jawline. “Can’t believe I’m you’re wife,” you say. Unforgettable, by Nat King Cole rings through the speakers as Hal groans, “And I was doing so well,” he smiles, tears sparkling in his eyes. “‘S alright, love,” you choke, tears welling up in your eyes as well. “Me too.”

BARRY ALLEN had been smiling all night long, but he can’t help the way his smile becomes watery when he hears the honeyed notes of Ella Fitzgerald’s “I’ve Got a Crush on You”. The two of you mouth the lyrics as Barry hums, thinking of the countless nights the two of you spent together, dancing in the moon-bathed kitchen you share. He kisses you, smiling from ear to ear.

CLARK KENT blinks, almost incredulous at the beauty before him. “Kal,” you hum, “you’re staring.” He nods, speechless, not even noticing the tears that begin to leak from his eyes as “Again,” by Doris Day plays. Though there are eyes all over the both of you, you can’t help but feel as if you’re in your own little world. As the song comes to an end, he squeezes your hand, saying all he wishes to say at the moment.

oh i’m finna cry this is so cute….fuck

[theocddiaries]

Clark: Batman might be a little bit fragile after last night, so let's try to be sensitive. Hal: Oh, believe me-- I am going to be nothing but nice to Spooky from now on. If he snaps and goes on a rampage, who do you think he's coming for first? Diana: He's not going on a rampage. Barry: I bet he'd let me live. He likes me. Arthur: I'm just gonna say it-- I never trusted him. Clark: Stop. Ah, he's coming. Everybody just be normal. Diana: Yes, we're gonna treat her exactly the way we usually do. [Bruce walks in the Watchtower break room]. Barry: And there he is! Arthur: Hi, gorgeous. How'd you sleep? Bruce: …Fine? Hal: Is that a great new cape? Love! Bruce: … Where's the butter knife? Everyone but Clark: No! [Clark hands him the knife and Bruce spreads butter on a slice of bread]. Clark [Sighs]: Can you give us a moment, please? [Everyone but Diana leaves in a hurry]. Bruce: So, about my meltdown. Diana: Who? What meltdown? Bruce: I'm going to see a therapist. I did some research. Dr. Gregory is highly recommended. I booked a double session with him today. And since Robin was going to spend the day with Superboy, I told Nightwing if he could pick him up so it wouldn't bother you or your wife. Clark: Ah… Okay. Diana: That sounds good. Bruce [Hums and leaves the room]. Diana: Great Hera… Clark: I know, he's like one of those self-cleaning ovens.

[zan0tix]

I yap so much about the comic and the importance i find in its contents but i hope when i write dirk or jake or rlly any of them it doesnt come off as me dumbing them down😭

I know the core internal mechanisms at which they all operate from otherwise i wouldnt understand why they even do what they do and why they speak how they do since that is so crucial to analysis of their behaviour and Why they were written.

But i mostly write silly scenarios so the deeper messier parts dont get to show much😭 working on deeper things tho rest assured i am locking in🫡🫡🫡

I try to match the tones of how i believe the characters would act continuing off the ending of homestuck. With dirk and jake specifically i try to write them to where they still both kinda dont say everything they need to but they dont have the weight of narrative destiny on their shoulders anymore so they can admit they like spending time together and have actually confessed like normal people and got out those apologies they kept yammering on about in the last half of act 6

I try to reinvoke the ridiculous nature of the one time we really see the real dirk and jake talk (which was actually a dreambubble memory. jake is so gay.) but i try to make it feel how that did, they really do love spending time together and just being weird and cringe and bantering about stupid shit ❤️(the most we see dirk type laugh in the comic)

(Always Highly recommend reading this log if you havent in a while. Its just such good writing theyre so funny) https://www.homestuck.com/story/4844

I feel like the Best Bros part of dirkjake kinda gets lost alot of the time considering THEY NEVER SPEAK DIRECTLY (which is insane that hussie could craft this universe bending gender norm shattering yaoi with no fucking interactions wtf anyway) but there is alot you can gleam from jakes interactions with hal and this one log to tell us how they usually speak

Dirk always veers into making homoerotic comments because.. i dunno he might have feelings for jake or something whos to say. and when jake presses him dirk immediately diverts. I think from being around dave and everything daves realised thats bullshit about masculine standards and heroism that let him have a healthier relationship to masculinity, hearing abt that would loosen dirk up about Actually being affectionate to jake

But hes still somehow trying to no homo his way out of things that are incredibly homo just in a subtler way, not immediately going “Haha, what? I never said that. Anyway.” (Its both out of his fear for what his true identity means about him as a man but also because he doesnt think he deserves to get such affections cough thinks himself an evil)

And jake was always going with the flow. If his friends socially decreed something as okay to talk about then the fucking damn burst open and he couldnt keep it in anymore but they had to Very Clearly Clarify with him about it. So i think dirk going down a more positive road would lead jake there too seeing that if its okay for dirk to be less restrictive with his feelings jake can be too.

The Epilogues has a highly specific premise and was being manned by caliborn and calliope 2.0 cranked to the max in the deranged fanfic behaviour so. Of course it would not be a healthy environment for characters to grow💀 anyone who takes it as full confirmation about how theyd act or become as adults and ignores the fact of its premise Being “Homestuck but Sick and Twisted; The Fanfiction” is kind of stupid its like saying homosuck was in character. Ofc everybodys lives goes to shit because the two running the show dont know how the hell to be good puppeteers 😭

Said it on twitter but you can tell how much a dirk hates himself based on his relationship to a jake. Because tho ult dirk wouldnt ever admit it jake is dirks anchor of self worth just as dirk is jakes. When they show compassion and kindness to one another its a step closer to self acceptance because Jake is quite frankly a living embodiment of EVERYTHING that is “wrong” (queer, cringe, sincere, feminine) about Dirk to himself in his saviour complex surrounding manhood. (See Everything caliborn says about jake) jakes always waiting for dirk. If dirk were to step down and admit his own humanity itd mean hed have to accept he is capable of growing and isnt inherently evil, and jake would be ready to embrace that about himself too

Anyway all that to say. Even in my simple silly writing i at least do try to retain dirk and jakes strange emotional dodging olympics but also its just on a smaller level since theyve inching their way to fully internalising that Its Okay to be Cringe and Gay Together❤️ because the World isnt Ending anymore. Its in the little things they dont say because haha im the one who makes them say words.

Dirk and jake hate themselves because theyre not men in the right way but their love is because of them not being men in the right way so.. nerm.. Whos flying the plane?

[bruciemilf]

Okay besties, I have an idea for you;

AU where the justice league was rooted in a small town; everyone knows everybody and no one knows anyone. Not really. But them? Oh, they know eachother.

They knew Clark and Bruce would tie the knot right after graduation.

They knew Diana would take new York museums by storm. They knew Hal would grow into his dad's aviator jacket. They knew Barry would wear gold around his neck in the Olympics. They simply knew.

Except for the fact that Clark had no idea Bruce would go on to divorce him just to marry an old sparring buddy, -- Khoa something; he doesn't know to this day, and he refuses to learn, -- for reasons he wouldn't divulge.

And bruce didn't anticipate his ex husband being the one who would investigate his husband's murder.

Funny how death brings people together.

Not until Dick, their boy, his boy, too, - He's Jon and Kon's brother just as much as he's Jason's, Tim's, and Damian's, and no piece of shit paper could take that from him, - told him, a bone white paleness to his cheeks the day of his weekend.

Their home is chaos; Not a chaos he knows, a chaos he loves, but a disservice on their once home.

Four different cars parked in front of Bruce's manor, dark enough to blend in the depth of night, give Clark a pretty good idea of what he'll find.

" This is bad. This is really bad, right? Oh god, is he moving? He just looked at me, I SWEAR he just looked at me,--"

'' Who gave Barry coffee?" Clark doesn't want them to be shocked when he enters, because really, he's not supposed to be here. The spark of twisted pleasure when they see him Is small, but it's there. " Who died?"

Hal skips over the corpse currently occupying the living room carpet, a frenzy in his eyes, " We do NOT have time for your shit, Kent. It's bad enough Wayne dragged us along to his little graveyard shift,--"

Clark doesn't particularly want to know who's that Oliver tosses Russian words with over the phone, but he takes a pause, only to point sharply at the pilot, " As if you have anything better to do you plane crushing fuck--"

" One time! One time!"

" Quiet down! You're upsetting Bruce," Command and order came to Diana as naturally as flight does to birds; Out of them all, -- jaded and secretive and wore out by life like a pair of shoes, -- she holds the crown of stability for sure.

Clark envies her. Maybe because she's her, or because she has an arm around Bruce.

He's tired; And scared. Clark's pretty little ghost.

Blanket over his lean, strong shoulders, knees nestled to his chest, shivering under Diana's arms. His eyes haven't left the living room.

Not until Clark walked up to the bottom of the stairs, where he could catch a better view of purple and blue rendering Bruce's sharp cheek.

There's something undeniably demure about Bruce Wayne; Youngest of them, softest of them. Clark adored it; He's always been a beast of a man, -- granted, raised with Martha Kent's southern loving ways, but you can't make a puppy from a wolf.

Bruce very much disagreed, and told Clark as such. That they compliment eachother.

Clark can't help but be sad at Bruce's softness now; But he's not stupid enough to think Bruce weak, and God help you if you're that man. Maybe Khoa was that man.

Bruce's eyelashes flutter like a butterfly's wings, " ...Clark." You came.

" Hi, baby." You called.

He closes his eyes, silently letting embarassment take him. Hal facepalms behind him.

" Not to interrupt your weird Eye Make Out slash Emotional Hug contact, but seriously, we need to call the police!"

" No!" Bruce raises to his feet, fingers twisting and fiddling, a nervous habit. Clark wants to capture him in his arms and never let him move, " No. No police."

Diana's voice is gentle, " Why not?"

" Because he did it!" Hal says, " I mean, it's pretty obvious!"

" Oh shut the fuck up-"

" That's absurb--"

" Hal, you're scared I get it, but Bruce would never,--"

" I did," Bruce declares, sentencing them to silence. " I did it. "

A tension filled cloud slowly drips over them. Hal begins pacing even more. Barry joins him. Oliver's yelling gets louder, and the Bruce's fingers shake worse.

Clark, wordlessly, pulls him upstairs, hands gentle on his smaller wrists, ignoring the call back from downstairs, where death still lingers.

Bruce won't look at him when he asks, " Did you do it? Really?"

" He was going to hit me."

" He was already hitting you," Clark spits the hateful truth, acid hissing over his tongue like a well-sharpened knife, " He was already hitting you. And you didn't kill him then. "

A shiver, a tremble, Bruce turning his back as if to protect himself. Clark's heart hurts. He's never been someone Bruce needed protection from, " Please, --"

" So you were either going to stop him from hitting you... Or from hitting someone else," Bruce's frame moves from him, departs again, and Clark follows, because he let Bruce walk away one time and it got them here, " ...Or someone was gonna stop him from hitting you."

Bruce freezes, gaze wide. Only he's not looking at Clark. He's looking at what's behind him.

Clark follows the line of sight.

There's Jason, their youngest, their tallest, terrified, and teary, and blood soiling his hands.

[igotanidea]

Quiet: Dick Grayson x fem!reader

Stubborn like a mule, Dick would never admit he fell for a teammate. Of course everybody knows and with the amount of teasing it won't take much to push him over the edge.

Inspired by Charlie Puth;s song Charlie be quiet.

Warning: it's long :D (20.971 words!) - that part was not planned :D

Seven years ago

„Stop staring.”

„What?”

„You heard me. Stop ogling her.”

“I am not….”

“Dick.” Donna’s voice was as stern as it possibly could. Despite her best effort she was slowly losing patience with Robin’s childish play of cat and mouse. Everyone, literally everyone, team or not could say he was head over heels in love with his teammate, Y/N Y/L/N, who also happened to posses the power of blue lantern. She was the third one to join the Titans, after the corps decided that the girl, born human, had to be near Earth’s green lantern to get access to her full power. Hal, who was supposed to be her mentor trained her well for a couple of years and despite their differences they become friends. So when the green one left her at the tower, arguing that she needed friends at the same age and with similar capabilities and assuring that she could always reach him if need arises, her heart broke a little. At first she was withdrawn, intimidating and hard to understand but soon her other, lighter side emerged. One thing everyone noticed about the girl was that everytime she was indulged in things that gave her sense of fulfillment the lantern’s blue light surrounded her, making her look ethereal and beautiful. Perhaps that was the thing that quickly caught Dick’s attention. Despite their initial fights and a lot of misunderstandings and communications problem they worked through it. Of course, only for the sake of the team, nothing else. Both Dick and Y/N were individuals who hated being told what, how and when to do, but also knew when to step down. She was the one to make him stop, think and analyze the situation before acting, he helped her in developing her intuition. In no time, he found himself falling for that introverted analyst who always, always had  a plan and was way too much in her own head.

“She’s gonna figure it out. Is that what you want?” Wondergirl mocked, knowing well enough that for the last couple of years Dick was doing everything in his power to keep this infatuation a secret. In his own words, it was not wise to get into relationship with someone who could be called into space at every second. And definitely stupid to love a teammate, which may cause a distraction and damage while fighting. He just kept coming with so many dumb excuses to adore her from the distance. At this point he didn’t even bother to answer Donna’s question since it was obvious Y/N realization of the situation would be the end of him. So he kept it quiet. Y/N was that kind of person who preferred to keep the emotions at bay as well, never giving him any sign she was interested in forming a relationship, more often than not pushing people away when she was scared and worried and stressed and vulnerable. Not really talking about it but separating to gather back her strength and balance. Well, she was the blue lantern, who got power from hope, so what else could you expect.

“Did you guys want something?” said blue one turned around towards her friends “you’ve been standing there for like a quarter now and it’s getting suspicious” she mocked

“it’s fine. We were just trash-talking you” Donna smirked

“Oh thank god, I was getting worried you were saying some good stuff about me. Such a relief” she fake-brushed her forehead. “Anyway, is anyone up for some sparring? I need to keep my spark up.”

“I thought you were  supposed to recharge? I mean… meet with Hal?” Dick frowned and a shadow of disappointment crossed the girl’s face as she shook her head.

“He was called on Oa. Apparently some threat appeared in the north side of the galaxy and Green Corp needs his immediate help. Nothing new, so yeah, I’m gonna go workout. Want to join me, Grayson.”

“Nope.” He felt his heartbeat fasten. Shit, it was getting harder and harder to be around her.

“ Ok. Donna?”

“Sure. I’m game. You can never count on the boys, right.”

“Hear, hear, sister.”

Just as Donna and Y/N left, heading towards the training room, Hank appeared on the other side.

“You did it again, didn’t you?” he let out a laugh “I would love to see you breaking one day.”

“Not a chance.”

***

Four years ago

“You’ve got to be kidding me” Y/N eyes went wide the second she entered the lab at the precinct. “it’s all for me?” it took a lot of strength not to jump out in joy. When, after the Jericho incident, the Titans fell apart and everyone went their own ways, she put all her intellectual efforts into science, biology and chemistry, taking first steps on a path to become a Forensic Scientist. With her stubbornness, passion and insight she soon got to be the best in the field. Last year was spend on working with the best detectives and investigators (including detective Chloe Decker from LAPD), getting hell of a knowledge and experience. And now, she moved to new city and easily scored a job at the best precinct in the whole country.

“Yep. All yours. Take your time and when you are ready, come meet the team. It’s quite big if you ask me, may be a bit overwhelming, so at first you’ll only meet with the best of the best. Those will be your regulars.”

“Good. I’m not exactly good with people.”

Half an hour later, the girl finally left the lab equipment, the books and agents and came down to the main office of detectives. With every step the feeling of something strangely familiar of this place was consuming her more and more and that hope of good things to come made her hand glow blue. A single raise of an eyebrow of one the officers was enough to snuff it.

“Y/N! Oh, you decided to grace us with your presence.” Her boss was talking to some man, whose back was turned to her so she did not see his face. “good timing. I would like to present to you our top investigator. Meet detective Richard Grayson.”

“Wha.. what?” she stuttered a little bit, pure shock reflecting in her eyes as the man turned around his expression being a mirror reflection of hers. “Dick?”

“Y/N?” he hadn’t seen her for two freaking years. Hell, he did not contact her in any way, despite a bit of stalking to make sure she was doing fine. And after all this time his heart skipped a beat at the sight of the girl he was still in love with. Time did nothing. And she was going to work with him, again.

“Hi.” She tilted her head and smiled lightly as the first surprise passed

“You know each other?” the captain caught up on the scene happening in front of his eyes

“From the previous life.” Dick said without looking away from her. It was real, she was real and here. He got her back.

“Should I be worried then? Will your past cause any problems in professional relationship?”

“No, sir. Not at all.”

Dick Grayson was always a good liar.

***

 “Hey.”

She wasn’t even doing anything, just sitting at the desk, covered with document and samples collected from the crime scene. Her eyes were a bit puffy and red,  clear sign she did not sleep much in the last days, her thick h/c hair a perfect mess. Lack of makeup and lab’s soft light mixed with her blue aura made her look young, fragile and innocent. All those adjectives far from truth given her secret identity.

“Hey Dick.” She smiled softly, yawning and stretching “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“You are?” that was surprising. Maybe she did change during the last time he saw her. There was something more gentle in her action.

“Mhm.” She rubbed her eyes in child-like manner “I need to stand from behind this desk like now. I’m way too sore. I’m going to grab some coffee. Would you mind staying here and watching the documents? Can’t risk anyone getting the confidential information about the investigation. And since it’s yours….”

“Sure.” His heart dropped a little but he did not let it show.

“Thank you.” She hopped down from the chair and suddenly lost her balance. Dick’s instincts kicked in and he was quick to catch and hold her before she fell to the ground. For the first time since the Titans she was so close to him, yet not close enough. He wanted to embrace her fully, stroke her hair, feel her heartbeat next to his, feel her. Sad thing he couldn’t.

“When was the last time you slept?” he asked instead, unwillingly letting go.

“Not sure. I took a nap yesterday, but…”

“Y/N.”

“What?” she scoffed “to much to do. You know…. the other job…. And it’s not like you are not running around the streets dressed in red and green.”

“You….?”

“Yeah, of course I know. I observe. And did you really think I bought that story about your injuries being the effect of the latest work action? Please, I know you better than that.”

“And I know you. How’s your light doing? Hope still up?”

“Never dying. But I’m not going to lie. Given the condition of the world last two years was a rough ride. I was even summoned by the Blues.”

“You were in space, huh? Why?”

“They thought I was getting weak. Wondered if I deserve the power of the lantern. But you know, the ring know what it does. I was just cut from using it for a bit. Last week of my suspension and then I’m back at my full capabilities.”

“I’m sorry about it.” He took a step closer and grabbed her hand. She didn’t even flinch when he started caressing her palm. It was nice and comforting and moving something inside her.

“It’s fine. We learn from mistakes, right? At least some of us” she shoved him playfully killing the atmosphere in effect.

“Sit down, Y/N. I’ll fetch you coffee and then we’ll talk about my case.”

“Ok, thanks. I want…..”

“Black, no sugar. I remember.”

***

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this” Dick and Y/N were standing at the crime scene. Or rather a battlefield scene. Blood and dead bodies were everywhere reminding of horror movies, especially those where the chainsaw was used.

“I’m not an amateur, Dick and this is not my first rodeo so stop it. I’ve seen worse. In both lifes.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“It’s ok. That little protectiveness of ours is touching. And gives me a reason to mock you freely.”

“Don’t you dare” he hissed grabbing her by the waist “I can always go full Robin on you” he whispered his face centimeters from her, unwillingly leaning in, forgetting where he was, who he was and what he was doing.

“Well than, I’ll go full blue lantern on you” she smirked and wriggled from his arms “but now, I have work to do. Genetic material, my favorite kind”.

As Y/N came closer to the one of the bodies Dick was completely consumed by his own thoughts. He loved her even more now and it was getting impossible to hide it.

Two years ago

Two years of working together did not bring him any closer to confessing his feelings. Even when after night patrol he showed at her apartment to get patched up and stayed the night watching her sleep on the other side of the same bed, unable to even close an eye. Her obliviousness was no help, since she was always calling him a friend, a coworker, a team member, even a mate. It was killing him. 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” she muttered shifting her position  a bit. She knew he was awake and there was no point denying “how are your injuries?” she reached towards his arm covered with fresh cuts almost touching it, but stopping a few millimeters away from the skin. Luckily for him, since he knew her single touch would make him burn. He wanted to kiss her, to do more – to make her feel good, to make her his and only his…….. Dirty thought and images was now creeping in his mind “Dick?” she frowned “you are distracted, officer”. That last word and her body so close made him jump out of the bed immediately, terrified his self-control was failing him.

“I’m fine. I’m gonna get some water. Go back to sleep, you need to rest.”

“But…”

“No buts. Sleep. I’m taking the couch.”

He did not get any rest that night. Crazy dreams that could never happen were enough to keep him up.

***

She got hurt. Because of him. Because of his recklessness and distraction. He shouldn’t have left her alone. Y/N was just doing her job, securing the evidences. Every other detective was in the other room of the house when shooters came through the door, firing their guns in every possible direction. Before anyone could react three policemen where bleeding, and one was dead.

“Shit! Y/N!” Dick hissed and rushed to the place where she was hoping nothing happened. He managed to disarm three of the attackers on the way, but judging from the sound she was dealing with the fourth, doing pretty good job. Even if blue lanterns were never considered the fighters, she was an exception, years in Titans and Hal’s upraise giving her exceptional skills in hand-to-hand fight, blue constructs adding to that. She was spinning, ducking and sliding, creating blue daggers and blades, going for the win when she saw him. A second of hesitation was enough for the opponent and she ended up with a knife in her stomach and  blood flowing everywhere. The last thing she felt was a pair of strong arms embracing her and lifting her up, holding close to wide chest whispering the most cliché words – it’s gonna be ok.

And now she was on the ICU, looking small and pale in hospital bed with Dick sitting on the uncomfortable chair holding her cold hands.

“Detective Grayson?” doctor’s voice made him stand up immediately “she’s going to be fine. No serious damage was done, luckily the blade missed the organs by an inch. And this girl, she’s strong, a fighter.”

“You have no idea, doctor. Thank you.”

“Just doing my job.” The MD shrugged but smiled happily “you got couple minutes left, and then she’ll need rest.”

“Ok.” When the doctor disappeared he leaned over girl’s sleeping figure and lovingly kissed her forehead “I’ll take care of you.”

***

Year ago.

 “I need your help.”

“My help of Blue’s help?” she asked “wait, don’t answer. I know what it will be.”

“Of course you do.” she could tell he rolled her eyes on the other side of the phone line.

“So? what’s the case? Go on. I got work.”

“There’s this girl. Her name is Rachel…..”

“Wait, are you talking about the teenager that run away from the house? The one, whose mother was shot straight in the head?” Y/N voice came up an octave.

“Yes. Wait, how do you…..?”

“So it happens I’m at the crime scene, detective.”

“Right.” Of course, he should have known she would be called there right away. And he did not like the fact that he wasn’t there with her to keep her safe. He didn’t trust anyone else with that.

“Relax, Dick. Everyone’s safe and I know how to protect myself. I can’t understand why do I have to assure you of it every time you are not around. I thought you knew my killer skills.”

“I know, but remember what happened last time?”

“It was a year ago, you fool! And it was your fault.” He went quiet for a bit too long “Dick? Are you still there?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty.”

“I know.”

“But you’re sulking. We’ve been through this. All is forgiven and forgotten. Now, what about this Rachel girl?”

“She’s like you. She has powers. And she’s terrified.”

“she just lost her mother, no surprise with that.”

“Not only about that. There’s something dark about her. Can you come?”

“Give me an hour.”

***

“Hey, you must be Rachel? I’m  a friend of Dick.”

“Where is he?” the girl truly was terrified

“Dealing with paperwork. He asked me to watch over you.”

“I don’t think it’s safe to be around me.”

“I can handle myself. Now, since I work on the case of …. Nevermind. Can you tell me what happened?” Y/N held Rachel’s hand trying to reach for the hope inside the girl.

“I…. I……”

“I won’t push you. But I know Dick promised to help you and I’m going to make sure he keeps that promise, all right?”

“Ok. I need help…..”

***

Today

“What exactly is the case of Dick and Y/N?”  Gar could not hold back the question

“Are you asking me?” Donna raised an eyebrow at the green haired boy.

“Well you are the only one here who knows about their past.”

“Yeah, everyone can tell he’s in love with her.” Rachel added “so why does she keep pushing his limits?”

“Well it’s not my story to tell” Donna scoffed “if you want to know anything you may as well go the subject of this discussion and …..”

“So you are now talking shit about me behind my back?” Y/N leaned on the doorframe and crossed he arms “come on, I;m a big girl I can handle anything. Donna?”

“Nope. I’m out. You can talk to the kids, they seem very interested about your past.”

“Really? Why? Rachel? Gar?”

“Y/N, I love you, but I need to speak with Dick. Gar can explain. Right, Gar?” she eyed him suggestively.

“What?” he frowned but soon the realization dawned on him “oh, yeah, right, sure. I’ll explain.” Rachel and Donna nodded and left leaving Y/N with the boy.

“So, what’s up shifter?”

“Why don’t you love Dick back?” Gar blurted before realizing his words

“What?” she was taken aback “what are you talking about?”

“Nothing.” He tried to escape but she was quick to pin him back to the chair

“Oh, no, no, no, no. You are not running away from me. Talk. Now.”

“Don’t shoot the messenger.” Gar raised both his hands in surrender “but how can you be so oblivious? Everyone knows he loves you and you miss all the signs!”

“that’s absurd! He’s just a friend. Which is a progress, since we were more like enemies at the beginning. And who’s everyone? And since when you are so gossiping?”

“Donna. Rachel. Kori. Me. Everyone! From what I can tell even Hank and Dawn get the message. And I’m not gossiping.” He sighed “Look Y/N, you are my best friend, you know it, right?” the girl nodded “and that’s why I care about your happiness.”

“But….”

“No, no buts. You are making two people unhappy. Three if you count me. Do you love him?”

“Gar…..”

“Do you?” he studied her face carefully, his tone now gentle. They only knew each other for a while but he already knew talking about and expressing emotions was not her stronger suit.

“I do….” She whispered looking down.

“Well I can assure you he loves you to. Why do you think Rachel went to talk to him?”

“You two are unbelievable.”

“And that’s why you love us” he grinned “now go talk to him.”

***

“Dick? Can we…. Can we talk?”

“I’m actually a bit busy.” He was tensed so his conversation with Rachel must have been emotional

“Come on, Dickie, I bet you have five minutes for me.” She came closer and put an hand on his arm from behind gently stroking his shoulder. Out of instinct he leaned more into her touch wanting more. “So, Gar talked to me.”

“About what?” he turned around making her hand drop and immediately missing the contact.

“You. And well.. um.. me being blind.”

“How so?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“You know what!”

“Well maybe I’m tired of guessing!”

“Putting the pieces of information together is your job! So quit playing!”

Instead of soft conversation they were now yelling at each other. Not how it supposed to go.

“I hate you! All those years I held it back but I hate you!”

“Really?” She mocked “what do you hate about me the most?” she started circling him like a predator

“don’t do this.” He warned, his eyes glistening

“my blue light?” she took a step letting some of the aura out “or maybe my hands?” she brushed her fingertips on his arm causing him to close his eyes

“You’re walking down a dangerous path….”

“Sure, what’s new. Oh,I know” she faked surprise “I know what you hate about me the most.” She leaned close to him “I bet it’s my lips, right?”

He didn’t answer as he could not hold back anymore and closed the distance between them crashing his lips on hers. She was right. He hated those soft pink, plump and kissable lips he was dreaming about for so long. He hated her aura, full of hope. He hated her hands that patched him up so many times and that brought him comfort and sense of safety everytime she touched him. He hated what she was doing to him, how she was messing with his head, how vulnerable she was making him, he hated…..

“I love you” he whispered pulling away, letting his arms sneak around her waist, holding her tight, not wanting to let go. “I loved you since the day you showed at the tower. I wanted you for so long.”

“Why did you hold it back? I really thought we were just friends. You were withdrawing every time I tried to…."

“Stop talking.” He pressed their lips together again, drunk on the feeling of her, craving her, tightening the embrace trying to get her closer than it was physically possible.

“Ouch, not that I’m complaining, but Dick that hurts. You’re strong, remember?” she whined as he started to crush her.

“Sorry. But I love you so fucking much. Feels good to say it.”

“Why don’t you let me try then?” she smirked locking hands on his neck and looking him straight into the eyes “Richard Grayson, I love you too. But you are an idiot! Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!”

“I was scared you would run away. You always displaced the emotions, so….”

“Dick, you dumbass. I am a lantern, I thrive on emotions, I just can’t let it consume me. Don’t want to turn into the red lantern, or worse – a black one. Do you know the latter drive on death?”

“Is that possible? For you to change color?"

“Don’t know, but I can’t risk it.”

“Well, I’ll make sure to provide you with hope if that’s what you need. Hope for us, for starters.”

“Ok, Mr. Grayson, so why don’t you kiss me again?”

“Gladly.” He would never get tired of holding, touching and having her. He was dead set on making up for the lost seven years.  

@somest1 @pinksirensong

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[Spoilers below cut]

oh my spaghetti gods.... they actually made the episode

Ha ha, I love that for them honestly. I figured that the Team would put out one of these after WOTFI, it would be either a regular silly episode, a "Mario Reacts", or a Remaster.

...OMG I haven't clicked on the episode and I just realized something: you know how at the end of WOTFI, Four proposed the idea of taking some of the abandoned stuff in Puzzle Park and bringing them to the Showgrounds? He can now have the teacup ride

that was slick as hell

(the following is my live reaction:)

of course, you GOTTA present the WOTFI merch

also james and luke just goofing around gives me serotonin :)

Mr Puzzles: "...Now you're 5% less disgusting to look at." :0 that has so many implications but I'm not gonna say it

ANYWAY That's-a so nice!

THE TEACUP RIDE

Alright, everybody who drew baby Four, we gotta get on it again

sorry,,, just them :)

also, Three, it was your idea dude

THE OATS "Now with less fun! :)"

just the way Four hid behind Three [*head in hands*] chat, I'm not going to make it by the end of this episode

The Star Trio (TM) everyone

...wait, does Three actually smell like peanuts or is it just for the meme? [*writes that down*]

Four: "My only suitable parental guardian!" Four, Karen's right there

I can't believe the retirement home is in America smh (like no seriously)

AY there's Old Man Hobo

this reminds me of that one scene from the "You Used to Be Cool" episode

(if you couldn't tell, Three's one of my favorite characters)

PFFT HAHAHAHA THEY KEPT THAT IN I'M DEAD DUDE

Three, why do you need medicine? you just got turned into an old man

MASTER OF DISGUISE

PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA?! MARIO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, ITALY IS GOING TO REVOKE YOUR ITALIAN CARD

the nurse jumping out the window... [*thinks back at Mr Puzzles' Clubhouse when Max jumps out of the window*] sorry WOTFI flashbacks

anyway, they're adorable

huh i guess prison-UH I MEAN- the retirement home has a basketball court, who knew

HE DROPS THE SOAP I'M SO GLAD THEY KEPT THAT IN

...wtf is that slop?

also blue goo- [*loud airplane noises*]

Three: "Meggy? Is that you? You look uglier than usual-" DAMN well, it's good to know that you're still Three

The two frames-per-second running animation, ah a classic

BINGO NIGHT (no no Ink, bingo night was last week) (aw man)

Three, it was your idea bruh

also you're in the SMG4 universe for how many years? plot convenient devices are the norm, Three

HEY SWAG

Hal's here too!

they do be scheming

...wait [*DRAMATIC GRASP*] THE SONIC X THEME SONG!!! 🎶ROLLIN' AT THE SPEED OF SOUND (MAKE TRACKS) QUICKEST HEDGEHOG AROUND, GOT OURSELVES A SITUATION, STUCK IN A NEW LOCATION WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION, NO TIME FOR RELAXATION-🎶 [*gets shot*]

despite everything, it's still you :)

if I had a nickel for every time an old guy says "No Mario, don't", I'd have two nickels. It isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

THE OATS CAME BACK FULL CIRCLE BABY

Frof the SnOATman :)

"On that day, the FBI learned the true meaning of Christmas: oats" SOMEONE MAKE THIS INTO A MOVIE

wait, FBI, you JUST noticed Four and the getaway car?

"dig a hole...poison the guards...KILL the the witness."

The hole, the poison, the old man being the "witness". Wow, Three's plan actually worked! Well, except for the "kill" part, the old man still lives. BUT STILL!

this part was actually emotional wtf

"Good to have you back, SMG3! ...SMG3?" aw 💙💜 (i ask for so little)

Three: "man, I think that was my dad..." Four, once again knowing they came out of USBs: "...ok"

CARNIVAL YAY you better not drop something on me bc (1) it's too soon and (2) you Team like to torture me

PFFT just putting Four's regular head on a baby body is everything

ferris wheel jumpscare

and AY james got to be credited for the writing (i mean, obviously)

And congrats to ggf0ur for having your art in the end credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Another fun and silly episode, just what I needed after school work and WOTFI. Still can't believe they made it into an actual episode haha! Having the Star Trio in an episode is always a blast! I truly enjoyed this one.

As much as I find it funny that Four needed Three as a parental guardian to be on the teacup ride, it would be a bit better if the reason for the age gun was that they never got to be actual kids, unlike the rest of the crew. Then we could've gotten baby Four and Three, oh the possibilities. Maybe that's just me idk, but I'm happy with what we got.

And the Ferris wheel in the Showgrounds again, at this point it's a sign. I have to gather my thoughts together for my "Ferris Wheel Wedding" idea.

Fun Fact: for those who are wondering, the WOTFI website is surprisingly still up! Ofc you can't put submissions in anymore but I find it hilarious.

Fun Fact 2: the guy who made the faces for Mr. Puzzles has a proper Twitter now (link)! Go and show some support to the Team! I do want to bring it up because the Team may have made some editing/animation errors (like the subtitles having SMG4 instead of SMG3) and people are getting upset about that, but it's literally not a big deal. I know the Team is trying their hardest to bring out episodes every week. Besides, mistakes could go under the radar, it simply happens.

Now, if you excuse me...

DON'T BLINK, DON'T THINK, JUST GO GO G-G-G-G-GO GO (n-n-n-n-n-na, n-n-n-n-n-na) SONIC'S ON THE RUN, SONIC'S NUMBER ONE! SONIC, HE'S COMIN' NEXT, SO WATCH OUT FOR SONIC X! GOTTA GO FAST (SONIC), GOTTA GO FAST(SONIC)! GOTTA GO FASTER FASTER FASTER FASTER FASTER- [*gets shot again*]