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90shaladriel · 1 year ago

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My son just watched the Star Wars OT for the first time and some observations.

Ok this is a bit of cross-fandom random thoughts, but I wanted to put somewhere.

I'm a child of the 80s-90s. I grew up with Star Wars, was legitimately obsessed with it from ages 3-7 me and my brothers endlessly rewatched the Original trilogy (or just 'Star Wars' as it was known then) on VHS tapes in those years. I remember being so excited for the theatrical re-releases and later the prequels.

My son (4) doesn't watch a lot of non-educational TV or movies, partly we don't show him much, but also he tends to be easily frightened by any tension or scary villains. Probably the scariest movie he had watched before this was Cars 2 (which was weirdly violent!) I also thought that maybe the violence would be something he wasn't really prepared for, none of his books or TV shows really shows graphic deaths. The worst thing he's seen are clips from TV News about the war in Ukraine which isn't often.

Last year I picked up some old children's books from my parents, and I had a stack of books that were the Star Wars read along books (that used to come with a small vinyl record) for the OT and a Star Wars ABC books. I would occasionally read these books at bedtime and my son gradually became enthusiastic about them, so we would get other Star Wars books from the library, most of those were either Prequel-era or even now Sequel-era stuff which he seemed to like and get. I think what's important is that going into actually watching the films he had been "spoiled" somewhat on the basic storylines and characters, like he knew Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader, but honestly I think at his age he doesn't follow stories that well, so knowing all the characters and places upfront probably helped him enjoy it more I think?

So I thought with this I would just sort of give some observations about my son's experience and also my own re-watching the films for the first time in years. I had the Blu-ray Special Editions that were released maybe 5-6 years ago?

A New Hope

On rewatch this is by far my favorite, it's funny, gritty, action packed. It is pretty violent, dead bodies seen in the first firefight on the ship, Vader force choking people, Owen and Beru's burnt corpses, but overall this didn't seem to be harmful to my son, we did talk a bit about it being a war and that people were 'hurt'. He seemed most affected by the death of Obi-wan, and kept asking where he went. My son seemed to like Luke and R2-D2. I will say a lot of the audio was kind of uneven on this edition, I had trouble hearing dialog and my son can't read subtitles so I was explaining stuff and then the action or score would be super loud.

I think that the special edition CGI additions are the weakest in the trilogy, particularly the ones on Tatooine. IMO they don't add much and look fairly cheesy by today's standards. To be fair a lot of the Cantina alien costumes also don't look the best now in HD resolution.

Sadly one of the areas I feel suffers the most now is the continuity with all the Prequels and series. Like the way Obi-wan talks about the past makes it sound like 30-40+ years ago when it was really more like 18 and, now with the Kenobi show, things like him meeting Darth Vader was <10 years ago. I'm only 40 and events 10 years ago feels like nothing. So Vader's line "I sense something; a presence I've not felt since..." just feels like doesn't carry the weight it should. The Jedi shouldn't be an "ancient religion" they were still be hunted down in recent years and Han would have been alive when the Jedi were fighting in the Clone Wars I would think? I kind of think George Lucas backed the franchise into a corner a bit by setting the Prequels too close to the beginning of the OT, I get why to somewhat explain Luke and Leia's ages. I dunno, I would have rather ret-conned them to be mid-20s or something.

Empire Strikes Back

Very enjoyable still. Son liked the Hoth battle scenes, loves AT-ATs. Kind of less interested in some of the Dagobah planet and Yoda scenes. He didn't understand at all what was happening in the Dark side cave which was pretty scary for him, eventually the explanation that stuck was "It was a robot Darth Vader, not the real Darth Vader" that Luke killed. He had little or no commentary on the Han-Leia romance, something I remember feeling cringey about it as a boy that thought girls were like the enemy, he doesn't seem to care, but doesn't like it either as far as I can tell. My son was shocked when Vader cut off Luke's hand, because the Read Along picture books sanitize this as "Vader slashed Luke's lightsaber away" or something more PG. These are violent movies!

I don't remember as much additional scenes or CGI in this one, the old models of Star Destroyers and Rebel ships looked amazingly good I thought, I think Executor and generally imperial navy scenes overall are so good still. I think they added a few shots of the Falcon flying around Cloud City and maybe the snow monster scene looked a bit cheesy now?

Something that struck me on this rewatch in particular was how good the lightsaber duel between Vader and Luke was. I always remembered it as Luke losing pretty badly. Which is true, but he seriously held is own for most of the fight, counterattacking even getting a few glancing blows on Vader. The fight was way more intense than I remember it being and super fun to watch especially with how later jedi duels in the prequel movies get a lot of praise. This really held up in my opinion.

Which is impressive with what we now know Vader to be, like the greatest Jedi warrior ever. Again some continuity stuff bothers me more about the prequels, especially in Kenobi the Darth Vader vs Third Sister fight where in the how Vader could basically force block her lightsaber, and she was pretty much fully trained in the force. Similarly the hallway scene in Rogue One he can toss people around, it's hard to imagine Luke being able to compete with him at all. I kind of prefer the OT Vader without the prequels, strong with the force yes, but not superhuman powerful.

One nitpick though. Several times The Falcon is being chased by TIE fighters, why didn't Han or Leia go back and use the turret cannons to shoot them down like in ANH Death Star escape?

Return of the Jedi

Confession, growing up this was always my favorite Star Wars movie. On rewatch for me it kind of felt the weakest of the three. I guess you have to be an adult to kind of see it?

My son seemed to get a bit bored at parts. I think the Jabba Palace scenes were a bit more subdued and slow-paced than I remember, and so was a few of the middle scenes with Yoda or Luke's revelation to Leia, very quiet and somber, but definitely nothing like what we saw in ANH or ESB in terms of action-pacing.

My son thought ewoks were kind of silly and funny, but doesn't seem like to make an impression on him since we watched, unlike the AT-ATs or some of the human characters. He was afraid of the emperor, on some level I think he "got" the dynamics between Luke and Vader as it's clear Vader is his dad and Vader used to be a good guy (Anakin) in contrast to the truly evil Emperor so that all seemed to work well for him. I have to say, as a Dad now myself the final fight scenes and what Vader did hit way more deeply than anytime I've watched before, definitely teared up a bit. One question I got from him which I struggled to answer was "What does it mean to turn to the dark-side?" I'm not really sure I have a good answer other than "be tricked to do bad things" which is as good as I could explain it to his level. I guess that is a pretty abstract and fictional concept for a 4 year old.

Overall I loved the Luke - Vader rematch, again, Vader seems to be slowing down with age or wear and tear when compared to even Rogue One or ESB but Luke is getting stronger. Since Luke is the only Jedi left at the time, it was never clear how strong he was supposed to be, also being physically a small guy he doesn't seem as impressive a hero but more of an underdog in the saga, yet he took on Vader 1 on 1 and defeated him, so maybe the Force is stronger with him than I used to give him credit for? The fight was good, emotionally intense, I almost wish the actual lightsaber battle was a little longer.

One new takeaway that never really struck me before was that the ultimate climax to STAR WARS was the hero throwing away his weapon and choosing Non-Violence and ultimately being saved by (a father's) Love. That's kind of a radical notion for the 2020s let alone the 1980s. Props to George Lucas for that unconventional twist there. I almost feel like this doesn't get talked about enough compared to other aspects of Lucas' philosophy or themes in the films.

The Battle of Endor still is one of the best space battles I've ever seen. I do think the Battle of Scarif in Rogue One is probably on-par with it, but for the 1980s it's so impressive what they were able to achieve with the technology then. Also my favorite minor character of the series is Admiral Ackbar. I'm glad my son enjoyed him as well (also I felt his costume held up better in HD than the ANH alien rubber mask costumes). I wish he had his own spin-off show or movie tbh.

Overall Thoughts

I was so happy to finally be able to share this treasured part of my childhood with my son, and he seemed to take as much enjoyment from them as I did. He still asks to read the books at bedtime and we have been trying to branch out and get more Star Wars books about the Prequels and Sequels. As far as toys goes, he likes LEGO in general so we've got him a couple of Star Wars LEGO sets. It's a far cry from the collection of action figures and space ships I had in the mid-80s, but he enjoys it.

Next Star Wars to Show Him

I think that I would like to show him some of the Prequels next. Those were never my favorites, but maybe they will appeal to him at his age? The prequels were released when I was in HS/College and already had a lot of head-canon for what I thought would be in them from the EU and other sources. Maybe the Clone Wars animated show would be appropriate? I've never actually seen it myself so don't know if it's good for him to watch, maybe it's more for older kids?

I think Rogue One is also a natural fit with the Original Trilogy, but that's probably a bit too dark/adult for him right now I think. I do wonder if there are any good sanitized kids picture books about it though 😂

#star wars #original trilogy #star wars with kids #passing hobbies to the next generation #nonviolent luke #no wonder I was desensitized to violence as a kid #80s movies #80s nostalgia #star wars fandom #darth vader #luke skywalker

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crystalsmentalhealth · 3 years ago

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Talking about the Brattleboro Retreat in Brattleboro, Vermont

I recently spent two weeks at the Retreat and wanted to share my experiences both good and bad about it.

I arrived at the Retreat in mid-June of 2021 after a four day stay at the Emergency Department of my local hospital. Originally I had not wanted to go to the Brattleboro Retreat because it was such a big campus and I equated that with busy and loud and impersonal. The Retreat would challenge my assumptions.

Getting There

I didn’t drive myself. As I said I spent four days in the ED of my local hospital and so I arrived via ambulance. The ride was stressful and nauseating. I was already stressed and nervous and the mountainous winding roads did absolutely nothing to help. I didn’t lay in the stretcher, but sat in a back-facing seat with no arm rests and with a blood pressure cuff around my left arm.

The trip took about an hour and except for a few questions from the person riding in the back with me, it was spent in nearly complete silence, which again, did nothing to help my nerves. There was no reassurance or even light conversation.

My Arrival

When we got there, they grabbed my bags for me, probably because I wasn’t allowed to have them yet, and with one person before me and one person behind me, lead me up the stairs to the admissions office. We were met at the door by an admissions person and I was dropped off like an Amazon package. The ambulance personnel left and I was officially at the Retreat.

I was first led to Security. They dropped off my bags with Security, and asked me to empty my pockets. I had none and told them such. Then I was led to an exam room where the woman who was with me found a gown that would fit me and held it up in front of her. I was then told to strip completely. I balked, but obeyed. First went my shirt, then my bra, then I stepped into the gown. Then with that covering me, I wiggled out of my pants and underwear. She gave me a pair of hospital pants to put on so I wasn’t completely bare. Then I was shown a chair and given a pair of huge grippy socks to wear. One size fits all, I guess.

After that the lady took my blood pressure, my pulse, and checked my oxygen levels. Then she took my temperature. My clothes and shoes were sent to Security with the rest of my things. I had off-brand crocs as shoes so I had no idea what they needed to check for, but off they went.

After the clothing change I was led to an office. I felt so awkward standing in a grey hospital gown, blue hospital pants, no panties, and those huge grippy socks, in front of two nicely dressed office personnel. They let me have a seat and the questions and paperwork began.

What was my insurance? Did I know about the extra inpatient days allowed? Who was my primary care physician? My therapist? My psychiatrist? My case worker? Did I have an Advanced Directive? What are the addresses? Did I want a male or female provider? There were so many questions!

Then it was sign here, and here, and here, and here, and here.

After that I was given a green folder that said Welcome to Tyler 2 which contained various information that I would need during my time there. My patient Bill of Rights, how to file a complaint or grievance. That sort of stuff.

Then it was off to another area and now they wanted a urine sample. I had already done two at the hospital and really didn’t need to pee, but I tried. I assume it was for a drug test, but I have no real clue.

Then I was sent off to another exam room, this time for a full physical. She asked me all about my medical history, whether I was having normal bowel movements or not, all about my diabetes, my family history (cancer, cancer, cancer, cancer, heart disease, cancer, kidney failure, cancer), she even checked my reflexes. The ARNP that examined me had the neatest notebook. It was electronic and I was fascinated by it.

(At the time of writing this I’ve only been home for two full days and I still have a very clingy cat who is currently laying on my left hand so if you catch a typo that kitty has caused me, please let me know.)

After the physical I was given one outfit to wear back, sans bra because my bra was underwire, and I was sent to a seat to wait to be sent to the unit.

The lady who watched over me offered me something to drink while I waited and when she offered milk I took her up on it. Unfortunately it was 1% milk, which I really hate, but hey, milk, so I drank it while I waited.

I didn’t have to wait long. Before long a Security guard and a nurse from the unit I would go to came down and led me down one corridor, in one elevator, through a cafeteria, up another elevator, and finally I was on the unit.

Tyler 2

The first thing I noticed when I got on the unit was that the bedrooms were singles. Yes! I hate sharing my bedroom in hospitals. At the worst, I’d once had to share with three other people stuffed into a two person bedroom. Two poor souls had had to sleep on cots. So I was very happy to see that I would have my own room.

I was shown into an interview room for yet even more paperwork and questions. All this is the business of the psychiatric hospital and it comes at the literal worst time of your stay, the beginning. When you’re scared and your nerves are raw, and your mental health is at it’s worst.

A three question questionnaire was first. Why are you here? How can we help? What are your coping skills? Depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation. I don’t know. Reading and journaling.

Then there was a check list of things that helped when I was feeling bad. I was fascinated to see that laying down in my room was one of the options. Most hospitals I had been in forbade that, with some going so far as to lock the doors to the bedrooms during the day so people didn’t sleep the day away. It was a pleasant surprise, and I checked that off along with a few others that I felt applied.

Then, the nurse, and we’ll just call her Rose, asked me if I was hungry and told me that they always had sandwiches on the unit and that the kitchen which held milk, orange juice, flavored water, cold water, hot water, coffee, teas, and various snacks was open 24/7. I declined both sandwich and snack.

Finally, I was left alone for a couple of minutes and I had a moment to just breathe. It was a Thursday according to the giant whiteboard that had the day’s schedule on it. Most of the groups were over with.

A little bit later a bag was brought up with my clothes and another with the few things I was allowed to have: my Bible; two coloring books; two books (A Street Cat Named Bob and A Wrinkle in Time); my toothbrush, my hair brush, and my composition notebook; were given to me. The clothes I wasn’t given yet. I was told by a nurse that because of COVID they washed everything that came on the unit whether it was clean or not and I would get my clothes once they were dry.

I was then shown my room. Number 219 was to be my home for the foreseeable future. It was a fair sized room, the walls painted hospital blue, the floor had boring brown patterned tiles, There was a plastic chair, a twin size bed with a single pillow, and brown blanket, and bottom sheet. There was no flat sheet.

There was a set of built in shelves and a small alcove with an unbreakable mirror and large shelf where I put my green folder as well as my other personal belongings that I was permitted to have. I hung around in there for a few minutes before wandering back out and awkwardly looked around.

It was soon 8:30pm and Rose, who was my nurse that night, offered me my bedtime medications. I accepted and went to bed.

The Schedule

I slept fitfully that night. I was scared, they checked on me every 15 minutes, and it wasn’t quite dark when I went to bed. I woke up obscenely early the next morning, which is very unusual for me, but I attribute it to the uncomfortable mattress, the lack of my comfort item; a stuffed cat named Fat Cat that I sleep with, and the fact that my room had a double window that faced directly East. The sun rises at about 4:45am right now, so it woke me up at around 5:30am that morning.

I wandered out, thinking it was much later than it actually was, since it was fully light out. I sleepily blinked at the analog clock and tried to decipher it. Inwardly I groaned at the time. To kill time, I awkwardly wandered around the unit again, and I think I laid back down for a little while.

Eventually I left my room again and it was 7:30am. Shift change. I can’t remember who my nurse was that morning, but by 8am it had become quite the busy place with the morning nurses, the mental health workers, the social workers, and the group leaders milling about the nurses station.

I noticed that the whiteboard had changed with the day, and so I glanced at the Friday schedule.

8am - Breakfast 9am - Community Meeting 10am - OT Movement 11am - Psychotherapy 12pm - Lunch 1pm - Courtyard (yellow level) 2pm - OT Activities 3:30pm Shift Change 4pm - Courtyard (yellow level) 5pm - Supper 6:15pm - Game room/small courtyard (yellow level) 7pm - Wrap Up 8pm - Free Time 9pm - Relaxation 10pm - Phones/computer/TV off

Yes, we had a computer. Some guy we’ll just call J tended to hog it, but so long as it wasn’t group, before morning shift change or after 10pm or 11pm on Friday night and Saturday night, anybody could use it. Of course Facebook and YouTube were blocked, but Vimeo wasn’t. Can somebody please tell me the difference between YouTube and Vimeo?

I didn’t really go to groups that first day, and I was on Red level, so I wasn’t allowed outside even if I had wanted to. I did however see the Social Worker, a very nice woman we’ll just call M. and my doctor via ZOOM, Dr. L.

All of the staff was really nice to me, and the unit, which at that point had a census of 19, was actually fairly quiet for the most part.

When 8am hit, and the breakfast trays arrived, I asked where I should go to eat. I was told I could eat on the porch, the day room, or in my room. Eating in peace alone in my room. Yes, please. I took my tray, got a carton of milk, and walked down the hall to my room.

When I pulled the lid off my plate, I discovered eggs, home fries, and a corn muffin. I also had some fruit. I cautiously tried the potatoes and found them to be quite good, but couldn’t eat anything else so I took my tray back.

I hovered awkwardly around the schedule board until somebody brought me a chair.

Then it happened. My stomach began churning. I went to the nurses station and told one of the three nurses that I had a bit of an upset stomach and could I have something for it? She looked up something and told me I could have some Tums. She sent me to the med window and used some fancy machine to dispense the Tums. I stuck them in my mouth and chewed. I swallowed. It was then that I knew I had made a mistake. I literally felt the Tums hit my stomach, felt my stomach cramp, and then I was vomiting.

After that experience and the cleaning up thereof, I got my morning meds at around 9am, and soon found myself back in the interview room, this time with a nutritionist. At least I think that was Friday. It could have been Monday. Regardless, I talked to her about being sick (it wasn’t the first time, I had gotten sick back in the ED as well), my lack of appetite, my diabetes, the medication for diabetes I was on (2000mg of Metformin and .5mg of Ozempic). She gave me some information the nutritionist I had talked to from my doctor’s office had already given me, then ordered Glucerna for me three times per day.

Glucerna is the diabetics version of Ensure for those of you who don’t know.

I slept a lot that day, and I’m pretty sure I refused lunch and maybe supper. They checked on me - and everybody else - every 15 minutes, but otherwise didn’t pester me.

The next day, of course, started the weekend. I can’t remember the exact schedule for the weekend, but it was far, far more boring than then weekday. There was just Community Meeting which I wandered into but didn’t participate in, a couple more courtyard opportunities than on the weekdays, more free time, Wrap Up and Relaxation. Relaxation happened at 9pm, but I already considered that bedtime as that was when I got my bedtime medication.

Sunday was just a repeat of Saturday with one bright exception. Sunday Sundaes. At around 2pm we got ice cream with sundae toppings that we could have on it. I don’t think I got it that first Sunday, but I can’t quite remember.

Monday doesn’t bring any particular memories except that that’s when I started attending a group here and there.

Meeting Nathan

Then Tuesday came, and I met Nathan. Nathan was a Psych intern who is now no longer there, so I’m not afraid of using his name. Nathan did 11am Psychotherapy, but had been on vacation the week before as well as Monday. I liked him instantly. He spoke quietly, thoughtfully, gently, and never pressed for answers if the person didn’t want to or couldn’t.

At first, we only spoke in group, but after one group disintegrated into chaos he ended it early and offered to speak to me one-on-one. The one-on-one time I got with Nathan, which eventually became every weekday, became the best, most helpful part of my stay at the Retreat. Some of his questions were hard. They were either highly thought provoking or brought on strong emotions, but he was very skilled in not pushing too hard and always bringing me back to the present if I got too lost in the past.

I think I opened up more to Nathan in the week and a half that we spoke than I ever did in the two years I’ve seen my normal therapist.

The Nightmares

I’ve suffered from nightmares for a very long time. In my nightmares I’ve been raped, had my home invaded, seen demons, had my parents stolen away by a dragon (that one happened twice. Same stupid dragon too.), been kidnapped, been chased around Wal-Mart by paramedics with a stretcher, and so on and so forth. The nightmares I suffered at the Retreat were something else entirely.

The dream I remember most, and let me list off some trigger warnings real quick: blood; abortion; abuse; infant death; decomposition; bad parenting; bad medical professionals, was about this young woman who tried to do some sort of home abortion that got botched. She went to the hospital and they sent her strait to surgery where they cut her open with no painkillers or anesthesia. The baby was tiny, but healthy and viable, so they took her out of the young woman’s womb, and haphazardly stapled the woman’s abdomen back together.

Then the dream began to focus on the baby, but not in linear time, but rather in snapshots. In the first snapshots the baby was fine. Pink, perfect, beautiful little girl dressed in frills. Then the next day’s photographs and the baby’s face was turning black in places. The next; her eyes turned murky and there was more decomposition. Mind you, while she’s decomposing, she’s still alive. Then her little fingers turn black and fall off, and it continues like this until the fifth day when the baby finally dies.

The mother, who was recovering from her own trauma, couldn’t have cared less about her baby.

The nightmare turned weird after that and I don’t remember what happened next, but I continued to have vicious nightmares during my stay there.

Dr. L tried to treat them with Prazosin. but I found that it made my nightmares more vivid. Then she tried to get me in a deeper sleep so the dreams wouldn’t wake me up, but that only got me caught in the nightmares and unable to wake up.

We never did figure out how to ease the nightmares and keep me asleep at the same time. Right now we’re trying a higher dose of Gabapentin, also known as Neurontin. I guess we’ll see how it works out.

Strange Characters

There were some...interesting characters at the Retreat. There was one guy who we’ll call J. You may recall him from my complaints about him being a computer hog. He suffered from delusions of grandeur and I believe psychosis. One time I was in the open area near the nurses station he began staring at me suspiciously. Then, after a couple of very awkward moments he asks me, “are you an Imperial or a Rebel?” I told him I had no idea what he was referring to. Miss J who was sitting near by goes, “she’s an imperial, she’s a good girl.” Then J nods and says “I know she’s my sister in Christ, so she must be good.”

I still have no idea what he meant by Imperial or Rebel. Is it a Star Wars thing? If so I thought the Rebels were the good guys. I’m so confused.

Miss J was a homeless woman who had been there for nearly nine weeks. She was very nice to me, but she mumbled a lot and I had to keep asking her to repeat herself.

M was a strange old lady. She would sit at the nurses station and laugh and laugh and laugh as loudly as she could, then all of the sudden she’d be declaring one of the housekeepers an angel on earth and how he should be protected and how everybody else was basically garbage. She eventually got taken out via ambulance.

A was another strange woman. Having been there since May 27th, 2021, she was there involuntary, She talked to herself a lot, drank loads of coffee, walked in and out of groups, and was best buddies with a woman who liked to be called Rabbit, as her real name, the same name as A, triggered her. A and Rabbit were thick as thieves and fed off of each other’s chaos.

Rabbit liked to sing at the top of her lungs when she was happy and when she was angry she would file a grievance, announce loudly that Obama was her father and that you (the nurse she was screaming at) aren’t her boss. She was nice enough to me, but I went out of my way to be as non-intrusive as possible.

Then there was D. D was 30-years-old, claimed to have 12 children. D was volatile, a substance abuser who enjoyed “a drink, some weed, and some coke”. Pretty sure she didn’t mean the soda. D had a shadow who had to write down what she was doing every five minutes. I don’t know exactly why, for the most part, volatile or not, she was pretty chill. She dressed provocatively and the first time she spoke to me it was early morning and we were on the porch.

She asked me why I was there. I told her depression. She asks my why I was depressed. I admitted that there was a lot of trauma in my past. She tells me she’s been (tw:rape) raped all her life, and then proceeded to tell me that I shouldn’t be depressed because I was pretty and thin. Now. I’m smaller than D was, because I’ve never had children, let alone 12 of them, but I’m 5′3″ and 210 pounds; thin is not an adjective I would use to describe me.

She then proceeds to tell me that I needed a better bra. I was wearing a soft low support sports bra, so yeah, my chest area was very un interesting. I told her I was just wearing something I could sleep comfortably in. She told me to shop at Victoria’s Secret for some better bras and I’d feel great.

After that, D decides to mention the gray in my hair. She says “you should get extensions to make your hair long and pretty, or better yet, shave your head and wear wigs. It’s what the black girls do.” She then went on about how wigs could really look good and how I’d have so much fun with it that I’d forget all about being depressed and how there were some sites where you could buy some good wigs for really cheap.

As I recall, I was fairly unresponsive during her spiel and walked away as soon as it wasn’t rude to.

The Really Bad Day

I don’t recall exactly what day it was, time blurs for me on a good day, and I wasn’t having any good days while I was at the Retreat, but one day was really bad.

TW: Suicide TW: Self-Harm

I was really, really suicidal, and I told the nurse I was talking to that. She asked if I had a plan, and for the first time I really did. I told her I would wait until right after a check - remember we got checked on every 15 minutes - then I would take a pair of my pants and wrap them around my neck and strangle myself.

Then she asked if I intended to follow through with the plan. I wanted to, I really did, but I also didn’t want to cause trouble, and that’s a huge issue with me, so I told her no. And that was the truth. I was suicidal, I did have a plan. I had a detailed plan actually. But I didn’t really intend of following through.

As you might expect, she had to report that to my doctor. Dr. L. spoke to me about how I was feeling and later, about five minutes after I had gotten on the computer to use Duolingo to distract myself, (See, I was using coping skills.), the nurse I had spoken to, and who I liked quite a lot, came to me and said that Dr. L wanted them to temporarily confiscate my clothes and take the sheet and blanket off my bed. It was to be replaced by blankets that couldn’t be ripped. Nurse E told me it wasn’t a punishment, it was a safety precaution, but I was so embarrassed and felt punished. I was allowed to keep the weighted blanket they had let me borrow, and my pillow, but other than that they took every bit of fabric in the room.

I don’t know if it was a good move or not. I just know that I wanted things back to ‘normal’, as though anything in a psych hospital could be normal, but the next day I lied to Dr. Lambert and told her I was feeling better. She said I could have my stuff back, but for some reason when I asked a nurse later on, she told me that there were no orders about it from Dr. L.

I asked again the next day and was finally able to get my linens and clothes back. I even got an extra pillow, for which I was very grateful for as my original pillow had been quite flat and hard.

The Road to Discharge

I was originally supposed to have been released on June 29th, a Tuesday, but I had to admit to Dr. L that I just didn’t feel like I could be safe at home yet. Not to mention that we were still trying to deal with my nightmares and sleep issues.

Dr. L and M, my social worker began giving me assignments to do. I was to fill out a safety plan, which I did. M had me write a letter to my regular therapist about the changes I needed her to make to improve our sessions. I am terrified to read it to her, but I really need to. I was given a huge stack of DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) information and worksheets to fill out, Nathan had me write something about a cousin of mine who had passed away due to an overdose of Fentanyl, and so I wrote her a letter telling her how much I missed her, how I was angry she was gone, disappointed that she couldn’t tell me she was back on drugs, how I was angry at her mom for getting her hooked on drugs in the first place, and ways I could have helped if she had just let me.

Meanwhile, people found out that I could make things out of the Model Magic that they had in the Contraband/Sensory room. I made I can’t even remember how many cats for people. I also made roses, and one dragon.

I was also writing dark poetry, just trying to purge my dark thoughts and get them out on paper.

Nathan continued to have one-on-one therapy with me each weekday, even if he only had half an hour.

I was meeting with my social worker daily, which they normally didn’t do, but when she realized that I wouldn’t go to them if I needed something, she decided to head it off, and meet with me, even if it were only a couple of minutes, each week day.

Finally, we decided on a day. Friday, July 2, 2021. I was so nervous, but so excited to come home and see my furbaby, Loki.

When the day came, I dressed in the nicest clothes that I had brought, which was a pair of elastic waist jeggings and my pink Cat Mom t-shirt which everybody loved. I only went to one group that day, and that was Psychotherapy, and I had my meeting with Nathan. I had one last meeting with Dr. L. and my social worker. My nurse that evening gave me my treatment plan which had my diagnoses. (Major depressive disorder, severe; Borderline Personality Disorder; and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Just as supper arrived I got the word that my ride was there.

Final Thoughts

Being at the Brattleboro Retreat was a difficult experience, but it was also a positive experience. In the beginning I was mad I wasn’t at the place where I had wanted to go, which was the Windham Center, but by the end of my first week there, I had decided to make the best of where I was. I didn’t like all the nurses, I definitely had my favorites and those I dreaded, not that they were ever mean to me, but I’m not sure, there’s just people you don’t like, you know?

I was on a great schedule while I was there. I was up no later than 8am and went to bed around 9pm, I ate at specific times. I got my medicine at specific times, and that routine was very comforting. Did I keep to it when I got home?

No. It’s currently 12:26 in the morning and I’m working on this still.

I’m still drinking my Glucerna, no matter that it costs me $40 a week for three a day, but I just don’t want to eat. Oh, I nibble. I’ve eaten some chocolate graham crackers and sipped on a 20oz Vanilla Coca Cola over the last four days. I just don’t eat.

I learned, while I was there, that it’s okay to speak up, to take up space, to have a voice, even if it’s quiet, I learned that it’s okay to get angry or ask for help. I can ask people for what I need. I don’t know how well I’ll be able to apply what I learned, but that’s always the hardest part of learning any new skill.

I know that this has been a huge amount of reading, but I wanted to give you a detailed example of what a psychiatric hospital is like. I hope that it informs you and I hope that if you’re heading to a psychiatric hospital or treatment center that maybe after reading this you’ll have less fear and anxiety because you have some clue as to what to expect.

I would also like to let my readers know that these are just my personal experiences in an American psychiatric hospital. I have no idea about British hospitals or European hospitals or even hospitals in other parts of the United States. My experiences in hospitals in Florida is a stark contrast to my experience in Vermont hospitals. I find Vermont’s response to medical care and psychiatric care in general is substantially better than Florida’s. I’ll do a post on that later.

Ask for help. Take up space. Use your voice.

National Suicide Hotline: 800 273-8255 Crisis Text Line: Text START to 741741

By the way, if you need me to tag another trigger word, please just send me a message and I’ll edit the tags to take your trigger word in consideration.

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anotherdayforchaosfay · 5 years ago

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Long update

Under a cut because a big wall of text can be rather unpleasant to see.

Husband started his new work schedule on Wednesday. It’s 2pm-close. Those who work in a restaurant know what it’s means to be the closer, and that’s what he is. He’s getting OT like no other right now, and is scheduled for 47 hours a week. It’s stressful af, yes, but we have a goal in mind, and that goal is what makes this easier for us.

Our sleep schedules are complete opposites now. My dark season sleep schedule is sleep by 10pm, wake-up by 8am (averaging 6am). I need all the sunlight I can get seeing as it’s necessary for my quilting. He doesn’t get home until around midnight and sleeps until noon. ADHD makes it a bitch for him to wind down enough to sleep, regardless of how hard the work was.

Thankfully he has Mondays and Tuesdays off! Perfect for my frequent doctor and counseling appointments. It’s why he demanded requested those days.

The last time he had this sort of scheduling was over ten years ago, and we had no particular goal other than money to pay the bills and buy food. Our mental and physical health were poor, which made it VERY stressful and nearly broke us. We’re doing much better now, which is a big relief.

As for our goal: move tf outta here.

We have two humidifiers, I’m on powerful anti-inflammatory meds to bring my asthma under control, and on a new maintenance inhaler. Still can’t leave the house for very long without having an asthma attack. We’ve found a couple “leap frog” places we can stop in so I can literally catch by breath, but they don’t fancy us showing up without buying things, so we opt for just not going out unless necessary. I wear a medical mask to cover my mouth and nose; it filters out a lot of the crap in the air and helps keep the moisture from my breath in (almost feels like a stillsuit on Arrakis).

I’m getting a small taste of what independence is, but in the loneliest way. We live in a rural area with strong light-pollution laws. By 5pm (dark season time) it’s dark as midnight. The sky looks AMAZING because you can see the arm of the Milky Way without aid of a telescope. It’s also really dark. Did I mention dark? Absolutely terrifying. Then there’s the whole spending nearly my entire waking time alone. I’ve gotten a considerable amount of housecleaning done, made easier by the fact I’m mostly the one making the messes. Husband did batch cooking for me on Tuesday, so now it’s just reheat and eat. I can cook, the food is yummy, but with tremors and seizures...it’s not exactly the safest thing for me to do.

I play games when the sun sets because there isn’t much else I can do to stay stimulated. Boredom is death for me, so yay for Sims 4 on my console.

Thank you to the friend who gave me an XBox giftcard so I could get stuff! The objectives in the game give me something to focus on. Thank you to the friend who bought games for me on Steam. You have no idea how happy those have made me.

Currently we’re working on having less stuff to pack, and pack things over the course of the next several months. I have a Ko-Fi goal set up for buying boxes. Right now it’s mostly movies, books, infrequently used art supplies, and tabletop gaming things.

In not so good news, I had a seizure last night. Not a tonic-clonic, but one of my extreme confusion/disorientation/exhaustion ones that I’m fully conscious of. I barely manage to do my bedtime stuff before literally passing out. Woke up nearly 12 hours later, another sign I had a seizure seeing as I naturally wake up at around 8 hours of sleep (it’s weird and freaky, I know). I couldn’t contact Husband about the seizure because I couldn’t figure out how to use my phone, let alone put words together in a manner that can be understood. When I informed him of the seizure before he left for work he went into a short panic. There’s literally nothing he can do, especially with the work hours, and there’s no one in the area we know and trust to just hangout with me in the evening.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my regular doctor. I’ll be getting a referral to see a gastroenterologist (the ER doctor is 100% sure I have GERD), plus the original appointment was a follow-up for something else entirely. Tuesday I have my first counseling appointment since cancelling four weeks ago due to not being able to breathe outside my home. With my asthma under better management and the addition of a humidifier in my counselor’s office, I should doing pretty well.

Now I’m gonna just...stay occupied. Tonight is a big cleaning night, meaning Husband won’t get home until around 2am. He hit overtime at 10pm last night, and will have around 12 hours overtime this week. I feel so bad that I can’t make a more meaningful financial contribution, but he’s assured me over and over again that it’s okay. There’s nothing I can really do about the fact I’m disabled, so I do what I can here at home. Be it housecleaning when able, making quilts, and sometimes successfully selling the quilts I make.

#Chaosfay Talks #long post

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enicr · 5 years ago

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KAMUSTA, KAIBIGAN! Hello, I’m Nana, and I’m super duper excited to be a part of this group!! I have here mah boii ENIAR HARVEJYAL who’s an old muse (once described by my friend as a ‘BEAUTIFUL SAD STOIC NOBLE MAN’) that I never got to develop fully until now. NOTE: to the first person who’s gonna read all of this, can you please proo read it for me because i am lazy?? lma0 danke!

APPLICATION | STATISTICS

family

Eniar is a Harvejyal because his father has always loved his mada - even before he knew it himself. He has heard of his father - King of Numor - and the first time he had laid eyes upon his mada , and how he knew -- just knew -- that he would build his dreams for them and around them. They loved with a love that invited envy and admiration; they loved with a love that invited songs and poetry and bedtime stories. They loved with a love that produced a son -- not an heir -- but a son. Eniar is born of their love and they showered him of it; and when Eniar’s then-small arms could no longer take more than his due of affection, their love blossomed to bear another child. And then mada dies.

childhood

Children of Numor do not play -- they train. They mount brooms and run off with their peers to imitate dragonhearts and their dragon in battle, they pick up branches and hold them like swords. Dollhouses are only ever good for rainy days, when the mud becomes too thin and watery that it can not form balls to be thrown like balls of fire. Children run, climb trees, trek marshes, and bleed -- their scars and scabs are something to take pride of. Eniar is a child of Numor, through and through; and prince by title he maybe, his mada had ensured he would have this with him. Eniar spent a good deal of time outside the castle walls and played with villagers’ children, garnered bruises from play-fights he took home to show to his parents ( show them, just always show them, for kings do not play in the mud, and mada remains weak). It was a good childhood, it was a healthy, happy childhood. And then mada dies.

adolescence

Mada dies and father dies with them. Numor cries for their queen for 4 days and 5 nights. Father never stopped crying; and though tears stopped streaming down his face only after half a month since mada’s burial rites , father never stopped mourning inside. Eniar wants to be sad, too; wants to mourn his mada’s death for he, too, had lost his family; but father seems to be doing all the mourning for them. He had to be strong for father, he had to be strong for his little sibling.

At 9, Eniar sits in his father’s place for the first time. It was the anniversary of mada’s death and father refused to address anyone, calling them traitors for not respecting the queen’s day of passing. Eniar plays king as nobles and generals and all-important players of the game talk about Numor’s state in lieu of the upcoming storm season. They use words that he could understand, and he thanks them for it after. He would sit in father’s place two more times again (always on the same day of the year) before father emerges from his sorrow; and when he did; he was no longer father, he was the king -- and the king had plans for Eniar.

Climbing trees have to stop, trekking marshes have to stop. No more bruises, no more scabs. The king prepares for his heir through private lessons, military training, and political discourse. Eniar becomes a permanent counsel to the king at age 15. The king demands, and the prince supplies. Eniar’s father is replaced by a tyrannical king obsessed with “protecting our own.”

The next time he would see his childhood friends again would be when he becomes Captain in the Numoran Cavalry and they his men.

adulthood

He is different now. He stands firmer, stronger. His sword and lance -- extensions of himself. He fights like a man with everything and nothing lose; most of all, he fights himself within. The only time her ever feels like himself is with his younger sibling and when he’s in the company of his very small circle of friends. For his father to create the perfect prince, he had to kill his son.

title of royalty

Power lays in his name before he even knew the word, before he was even given a name. The royalty of Numor does not pride itself in splendour and glamour. Shiny things do not win battles and survive the land through winter -- but power does. The Harvejyal House have made the throne theirs since the Ancient Dragons flew over the mountains and the marshes of Numor, and will still have the throne long after dragonhearts finally get to rest their bones.

Eniar is made for the throne. He is a stern man, a persevering man. Father sees this, too, and is proud, for these are traits that father had so carefully taught him; but father is cautious for Eniar has his mada’s heart and compassion -- and compassion does not protect its people from wars and the dark creatures of the forest. Eniar, with his reigned in political power, is both far too soft and far too much of his mada for his father to entrust him yet of real authority.

ultean-kebastan war

No one wins in war. He knows this, and he believe this. Numor’s court knew that it was going to happen: war is inevitable between Ultea and Kebasta, what with the decades-worth of tension building between the two. Numor knew of it, Eniar knew of it: foreseen it as it peered from its highlands and down to the conflicts that incited the spark that started it. The king knew and did not want to be part of it; Eniar knew and hated it. When news of the war breaking out reached the Numor, Eniar sits with the small council of the king to discuss how to furthermore secure their harsh borders. ‘No sword comes in, no sword go out,’ the king says, and the small council agrees for now.

A year into the war, the first of the refugees pour in. Eniar, captain of the cavalry unit assigned to guard and protect the kingsroad, meets them with water and food and furs. He writes to his father of this: of the human hunger and emotional poverty. He seals the letter, sends his second fastest rider. The king replies with a prompt: ‘send them away immediately’. The king demands, the prince supplies. It take years of suffering and atrocious and tyrannical autarky before the king even considers letting refugees in. By the time Numor openly accepts whoever braves the journey to the North, the war is at near-end, and Eniar starts to hate his father.

andera forest issue

He hears the stories. He is not deaf nor arrogant enough to pretend that he is. He hears the stories of foul creatures breaking through the barrier of the dark forest. He hears them from the war refugees, the trades merchants, his own father. He hears them before Ultea and Kebastan halted the war to fight the common enemy, and he is furious. The king would not do anything. Numor is unreachable, untouchable, invincible. They would burn the beasts with dragonfire before they can even set foot inside Numoran soil. His father is assured of this: they are safe and must stay safe -- even as the world burnt around them.

Eniar is not deaf. He hears what his own men say, he hears what his own conscience says. He knows the king is not deaf, as well, yet the king remains adamant that ‘we must protect our own.’ Eniar hears and yet he remains silent. He would never speak against the king -- he is no heretic to his own father; yet, yet --

The empress of Ultea dies. Though the king stays true to his refusal to be involved, he sees the loss for what it is and extends his grievances in the form of his two children; but the king is not innocent. He extends his grievances in the form of his two children, whom he has tasked to report back to him: of the conflicts, of the cease fires, of the so-called dangers of the forest -- all in the cautious interest of Numor’s safety, but none in the light of helping the other nation. Eniar is a good prince, a good son -- he is made for the throne; but he is borne of compassion that refuses to be watered down.

Here, in Ultea with his entourage, Eniar is far from his father’s controlling authority. Eniar knows that Numor is not untouchable; Numor is not invincible. And so he plots -- day and night, rain or shine -- how to use the influence he has to make the agree king reconsider his firm stance on not helping out the nations threatened by the darkness of the forest.

stay in ultea

He often forgets that he belongs to royalty. When with his cavalry knight, he is with his brothers and sisters: Numor’s finest and fiercest. This he takes pride of constantly and consistently. No one can ever take away from him nor his company of cavalry what they have earned through battle and hunts and expeditions -- a quite, contenting glory. It is then quite a shock to him that the culture of Ultea seems to celebrate his title rather than his hardwork. PRINCE OF NUMOR. Back home, being a prince is a responsibility, not a privilege. Here, they bow, they flirt, they dance. They greet him with such reverence. It is surreal, and though mada has taught him to be well-mannered, he refuses to believe all of it to be true. War makes people unkind, and the kindness they show him raises suspicion.

He knows the king knows of it too, and that’s why he had sent one of Numor’s finest captains with him and his younger sibling. The king has been asked time and time again to step out of neutrality, and now that the most precious people to him are beyond his sovereignty, it is not impossible to pressure the king into engaging Numor out of it with a bit of foul play. And though Eniar can and will defend himself, he finds that it is best to surround himself with people he can trust to ensure that no harm would befall him and his younger sibling -- such as being kidnapped and used as a bargaining chip against the Numoran king. There is always a peaceful and diplomatic way, and Eniar will find it -- if he can’t, then he’ll make it.

state of mind

EMPATHY / AUSTERITY / PRIVACY: He feels a lot. He feels a lot and he drowns in it. Sometimes he would drown in other people’s problems and feelings, too – like the mad oceans that erode Numor’s coast. He’s emphatic to a fault. His mada once told him, when she was still alive, that he can’t be like that all the time, that: ’darling, you wear your heart on your sleeve and IT IS BLEEDING. We must not let them see we bleed, child, so how about you tuck it under your fur?’ He feels so much and he hides it because he’s afraid that if he threads its waters any longer, his limbs will tire and he will forget how to swim above it.

DISCIPLINE / RIGID / HONOUR: He must do what is right for if not him, then who? If not now, then when? These do not come naturally to him: he had to learn how to be firm and decisive for he knows if he cannot swim through his emotions, then he must be able to find higher ground. Yet this high above, what seems right is not always true; what seems right is not always there. The more Eniar climbs higher, the more he sees the need to reform what he morally believes is for the best -- but how can he? To go against the principles and laws old than him would be to go against his sense of duty and honour. He has fought himself within more than he has fought battles; and until the day comes that he knows he has own, he must stay firm and keep climbing higher.

TL;DR: Enair is the prince of Numor, a nation that refuses to be involved. However, he wants to be involved and help out. He’s a very disciplined and conscientious person, believes in hardwork and all those knight-in-shining armour things. If he were an emoji, he would be a mix of (￣^￣)ゞ and (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و

#noble.intro #idk how it got this long but im sorry im gonna make another?? (is that legal)) intro post tomorrow thats SO MUCH shorter #also those emojis are supposed to be a salute emoji bc my boii is a honourable man and a work hard emoji bc he wants to do the right thing

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all-the-love-harold · 7 years ago

Note

Can you do a blurb of when Ollie finds out Harry isn’t his real dad and he’s curious about what happened? Or something like that, thanks!

It’s a Sign of the Times Blurb

Note: Ok, so here’s the deal, I currently have 4 requests in my inbox that I have written and are ready to be posted, however, if I post one every second day, that only gives me 8 days to get the first few parts of my next series written, and that is just not enough because I have a life an uni work and other adult things to do, so, my deal is, I’m going to open my requests for the next 24 hours (or however long it takes to get another 5 requests) but I will only be writing things that are related to this series! So anything Dad Harry, things you want to see happen with Oli, things you’d like to see happen between Harry and Y/N as a married couple dealing with parenthood for the first time, or best friend Harry, from before the series started it could even be social media posts, it’s up to you guys, but only things related to this because I’m not overly inspired by anything else and I don’t want writing to feel like a chore.

REQUESTS

I’ve rambled a bit here, sorry, but enjoy this! It’s cute a brings other things into the story…..

Oli stood at the bathroom sink in front of the mirror, brushing his teeth and staring at his own reflection, opening and closing his eyes trying to see what colour they were.

“Daddy” he said as he looked in the mirror

“Hmm” Harry said

“Why don’t my eyes look like yours or mummy’s?”

Harry drew in a deep breath, he knew the day would come when Oliver would have questions about his real dad and where he came from, but he didn’t think it would come this soon, he’d only just turned four and he hadn’t even started school yet.

“Why do you ask mate?”

“Well, everyone always says how much Elsie looks like mummy, but no one ever says that I look like you” he spat the toothpaste out of his mouth and wiped his face with his sleeve.

“Hey, use the towel please” Harry said sternly “come on, get yourself tucked up in bed and I’ll tell you a story”

“You didn’t answer my question dad” Oli moaned putting the towel back on it’s rack and looking at Harry curiously

“That’s what I’m going to tell you a story about, silly”’ Harry smiled at his son

“Yay!” He ran from the bathroom and down the hallway towards his bedroom

“Walking feet Oliver Styles” Harry called sternly and shook his head when Oliver turned around and slowed down to a power walk as he reached his room. Just a few steps behind, Harry quietly ducked into your bedroom where you were feeding your two month old daughter, Elsie, and sat on the bed, running his hand through his hair.

“What’s up buttercup?” you said, looking at him with concern.

“Oli wants to know why he doesn’t look like me”

Your body stiffened, “Oooh, crap”

“Yep” Harry sighed and looked at you “What do I tell him?”

You thought for a second, looking down at the baby girl in your arms, who was, biologically Harry’s, and your heart sank at the realisation that the time had come to explain to your son that the man that had loved him like his own since before he was born, wasn’t really his dad.

“We have to tell him H, bring him in here and we’ll tell him together” you said, shifting Elsie into the co-sleeper that was next to your bed, carefully so that she didn’t wake up. Harry nodded, and stood up, walking down the hallway and into his son’s room.

“Come and get in bed with Mum, mate, she wants to tell the story too”

“But mummy’s got the baby” He said looking at Harry sadly

“The baby’s asleep, come on bud, come in and have a snuggle” Harry held out his hand out and Oli took it, pulling himself up and out of the bed and following Harry down the hall, stopping outside the bedroom door and looking up at his dad

“In ya go bud”

“Mummy!” he whispered loudly while he climbed into bed with “Daddy said he’s going to tell me a story about why my eyes don’t look like yours”

You smiled at him and squeezed him in closer “Mummy’s going to help Daddy tell you the story”

He rested his head on your chest “Good, I miss you mummy, you always put Elsie to bed now”

Your heart sank and you placed a kiss on his forehead “I know buddy, how about we make a deal, I still have to put Elsie to bed, but some nights you can come in here after your bath and we’ll have a cuddle and a story, like now”

A smile stretched across his face, “I like that Mummy”

Harry watched as you had a moment with your son and slowly pulled back the covers once you and Oli were comfortable.

“Daddy” Oli said “you can’t get in bed in your clothes, you have to put your jammies on”

Harry giggled at his son and put the covers back to where they belong, walking over to the chair where he kept his long pyjama pants

“I guess you’re right buddy” he said, glad to be given an excuse to avoid the conversation at hand. He unbuttoned his shirt and threw it into the laundry hamper before sliding his jean off and replacing them with his pyjama pants.

“Better?” he asked

“Better” Oli smiled and Harry walked back over to the bed, pulling the covers away and hoping in next to Oli, who was now sandwiched between the two of you. Neither of you made an attempt to start the story, remaining silent but looking at each other, calmly working out what to say to the curious little boy sitting between you.

“Well..” he said out ot the quiet looking up at harry

“Alright you little bugger” harry smiled and ruffled his hair taking a deep breath before opening his mouth again “You remember when when Elsie was in Mummy’s belly?”

Oli nodded against your chest

“And you asked me how she got there?”

“Yeah” he mumbled “you said you put her there but she needed time to grow”

“That’s right” Harry smiled and looked at you for reassurance you smiled and nodded and he continued. “Well, when you were in mummy’s tummy, a different daddy put you in there”

Oli didn’t say anything for a moment and you and Harry left him to think about it.

“But why are you my Daddy?” he asked looking up at Harry, confused

You smiled “the other daddy wasn’t a very nice man, so Mummy found the nicest man she knew and made him your daddy instead”

Harry smiled at you and waited for Oli to say something again

“Is that why you didn’t get married until I was in Mummy’s belly?”

“That’s why” you said “if it wasn’t for you little man, mummy and daddy would never have fallen in love”

He nodded and smiled to himself and quickly looked up at Harry “thanks for not letting the bad man be my daddy” he moved his head from your chest to Harry’s “I like you better”

Harry placed a kiss your oli’s head “I love you little man, this doesn’t change anything”

“I know” he nodded and all three of you smiled and remained silent for quite sometime after that. Snuggling up and slowly dozing off. After about half an hour, Oli stirred and sat up

“Daddy” he cleared his throat

“Yeah buddy” Harry said to him sleepily

“How do you put a baby in someone’s belly?”

He sat up and looked at you as you giggled at him trying to work his way out of it.

“That, my friend is a story for another day” He picked Oli up and put him on the ground next to the bed, pulling the covers off himself and getting up. “It’s way past your bedtime and you’ve got nursery tomorrow”

His face lit up at the sound of nursery “Will thomas be there?”

“He sure will” Harry smiled “Now bed, come on, I’ll tuck you in”

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based-kaczynski · 3 years ago

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my brain is soup and i still have 4 hours of work. and have to get up early and then work tomorrow. and then work again. and ot next week. i just. bedtime. now. please.

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quicksilversquared · 7 years ago

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Plagg and the Butterfly Costume: Ch 8

Plagg is willing to do a lot in order to get more cheese. When he’s spotted one too many times en route to the kitchen, he decides that a disguise is in order. One purple costume later, and Plagg is free to flit down to the kitchen without people thinking that he’s a rat.

And then he gets caught.

PATBC: (1) (2) ��(3) (OT:1) (4) (5) (6) (OT: 2) (7) (OT: 3) (OT: 4) (OT: 5) (OT: 6)

(AO3) (FF.net)

The next time Adrien and Plagg walked into Fu's office, they came face-to-face with not one or two but three other kwamis.

And none of them were Ladybug's.

"We figured out the spell to get unpaired kwamis out properly," Wayzz announced rather unnecessarily with a wide grin. "Adrien, this is Trixx, and this is Pollen."

"It's nice to meet you," Adrien said politely. Then he frowned and pointed at Trixx. "Hey, I thought the Fox already had a holder. We met her a few weeks back."

Trixx pouted. "That was just temporary, apparently," he whined. "Which is no fun at all. And now I'm back here."

Adrien smacked himself in the forehead. "Oh, right. I think I knew that. So you'll be helping us, then?"

"Oh yes! And Master Fu and Wayzz have already caught us up to speed," Pollen assured them. "So we're going to be learning how to hack a computer and alter security camera footage? Why not just bring this boy with us on the raid instead?"

"We gotta be able to make a fast exit if Nathalie comes back earlier than expected," Adrien told them as he headed for his seat on the far side of the screens that Fu already had set up. "...and we aren't actually telling Max who Hawkmoth is. We don't want anyone knowing outside of this circle until after he's been defeated. The chance of someone saying something because they want to 'help' is too high."

"We might end up telling Ladybug's parents right before the final attack," Fu corrected, appearing from around the corner. Plagg perked up when he saw the baked Brie on the plate Fu held. "After all, you'll need somewhere to stay as things are getting figured out afterwards. I get the feeling that they would be happy to help."

Plagg tore his attention off of the mouth-watering cheese for long enough to snigger at the starry-eyed expression Adrien had for several seconds before he shook himself out of it. "But- are you sure that Ladybug would be okay with that? I mean, she doesn't know that I'm me-"

"I'm sure that Ladybug will be fine with it once she knows who you are," Fu told him. "She has already expressed concern about where Adrien will go after Hawkmoth is defeated."

Plagg didn't even need to look to know that Adrien had magically perked up at the information. He would probably hear no end to the gushing about how "my lady is concerned about me!" once they got back home, and it would be exhausting.

Plagg needed extra cheese just thinking about it. He dove onto the plate and scooped up a pawful of the oozing goodness.

"I suppose it would be wise to not tell many others," Trixx acknowledged. He draped himself over the screen and watched as Adrien settled down and picked up the black mask next to the cushion he sat on. "So we'll be learning? I suppose it's a good idea to learn the new technology, at any rate. Master Fu has been telling us a little about the new things that have popped up since our last holders, but I suspect that we've barely skimmed the surface."

"Yes, quite a lot has happened in the last couple decades," Fu said with a laugh, setting the cheese down on the low table. Plagg had already made a hole in the crust and was sitting surrounded by melted cheese. "It was quite an adventure trying to keep up with all of it! I know some people have a hard time adapting to change, but I suspected that it would be quite hard to catch back up again if I didn't at least try to make an effort to learn."

There was a light knock on the door, and the two new kwamis went zipping over to investigate. Moments later, Tikki's squeal cut through the air as she pounced on her siblings. Ladybug's laugh followed, before she was shushed by Wayzz.

"Chat Noir has arrived already," Wayzz told her. "Master Fu wants to talk with you two briefly before we go."

There was a shuffle as Ladybug closed the door, crossed the room, and settled on the floor, pulling on her voice-changing helmet as she did. She pushed a bag of treated towards Master Fu, who accepted it graciously. Plagg perked up for a moment- was there anything in there for him?- before slumping back to the table again. She hadn't brought cheese bread.

"Max said that the virus should be nearly ready to go," Ladybug reported. "He told us yesterday after the fight was over."

"Fabulous!" Fu exclaimed. "So we shouldn't all have to meet up again after you're done there. I have the scrolls complete- though Plagg, I will require your assistance for the final touches- and the book is done and in my hands. We can do the office raid soon, unless there are any objections."

His eyes slid towards Adrien. Adrien bit his lip and glanced down towards his lap.

"Would this weekend work best?" Ladybug asked. Plagg cringed- no matter how many of these meetings they had, he would never get used to the sound of those helmets- and tried to bury himself in what remained of the cheese plate. "Instead of a weekday, I mean. Saturday is only two days from now, so we would be more likely to remember whatever Max tells us."

"Yeah," Adrien agreed. "But do you think it would be hard to find someone that could get Mr. Agreste out at the end, then? Like, would he be stuck for the entire day?"

"I'm guessing whoever comes out wouldn't fix the elevator, just get it out enough for him to become unstuck," Fu told Adrien. "They do have on-call people for emergencies on weekends. And that could work in our favor, actually- you wouldn't have to deal with an akuma attack until sometime on Monday if you break the elevator Saturday and he can't get someone in to fix it right away."

Plagg gave a small sigh of bliss as he imagined all of the extra cheese-eating time he could have if Adrien didn't need to spend hours transformed for an Akuma attack. He could properly savor that lovely Brie that he had seen Adrien stick in his hidden mini-fridge instead of inhaling it down like he normally had to do when Adrien needed to transform.

"If there's absolutely no one available, I can slip in and fix it," Tikki piped up from next to him. "I would just undo the rusting that Plagg did. We would probably have to do an akuma fight right afterwards if I do that, but we wouldn't leave anyone trapped for more than a couple hours, even Hawkmoth."

"Couldn't you try to snatch the Miraculous from him while he's stuck in the tunnel?" Pollen wanted to know. "Then we wouldn't have to worry about all of this sneaking around. An ambush attack has worked for us before."

Plagg made a face. That tunnel wasn't anywhere near big enough to do any fighting in. It was barely even big enough for an adult-sized human to turn around in.

"The tunnel is too small, and Hawkmoth would probably just transform if he thought someone was coming after him," Tikki told Pollen. "It's too dangerous. And being stealthy now gives us an advantage for when we attack. We'll be operating entirely on our terms, not being forced into a final fight when we're not ready."

"This is so exciting," Trixx piped up, wriggling on the table eagerly. "It's not often that the kwami play an active role in taking down a supervillain! We've done some spy work, of course, and some busting open locks, but never this level of involvement!"

Plagg wondered if Trixx would feel the same if he were the one always spending her nights roaming around the Agreste mansion trying to see if Mr. Agreste had any other magical artifacts in a place other than the safe or reading through the cramped handwriting in the Agrestes' journals. This whole thing had gotten very old very fast, and he hadn't found anything that important in either the rest of the house or in the journals. Mr. Agreste kept everything in the heavily-guarded study, and he and his wife had focused recording more on the lore about the Miraculous and any possible leads they had rather than on why they wanted the Miraculous, at least in the first journal.

It was boring wading through all of the pages, and it meant that Plagg was missing out on trying to bug Adrien into getting a second bedtime cheese snack, since his chosen was long since fallen asleep by the time Plagg got back to Adrien's room. He couldn't even explain what he was doing and why he deserved extra cheese, which meant that Plagg went woefully uncompensated.

"Yes, it is quite unprecedented," Fu acknowledged. "Most of the time, our opponents are best faced in the battlefield. This time, we have an opponent that is a planner, and we need to change our strategy accordingly."

Plagg yawned loudly as Fu started talking about what he had in mind for the raid on Mr. Agreste's office. He didn't need to listen; after all, his role in that would just to break the elevator, and then to listen for when Mr. Agreste got stuck and let Adrien know. Easy-peasy. Adrien would let him know later when exactly they wanted to start.

Curling up on the empty plate, Plagg snoozed lightly as the other kwamis chattered. He had a full belly, the room was nice and warm, and the scent of cheese surrounded him. He could sleep like this all day and be perfectly content.

So naturally, it couldn't last long. Plagg woke up with Tikki jostling him.

"C'mon, lazybones, it's time to get up. They need to transform."

Plagg groaned and cracked open one eye. Drat, right when he was getting properly comfortable. "Right now? In here?"

"Yes! We're going to sneak out the back door afterwards. That way Ladybug and Chat Noir don't have to try to each find their own place to transform before meeting back up again. Now come on!"

Plagg groaned and floated up into the air towards his Chosen. Apparently he couldn't ever catch a break.

For Plagg, the day of the raid dawned bright and early- or, rather, at seven thirty in the morning.

He didn't particularly like being up at such a time. Normally he only got up when Adrien did so Adrien would remember to feed him, and then he went and curled up in Adrien's bag for a nap. For him to get up and stay up at that time was unheard of. But Fu had insisted on getting an early start so that they wouldn't be delayed by an akuma attack, and that meant that Plagg had to stay awake, even after his morning cheese was polished off.

That meant that at eight thirty-seven on the dot, Plagg phased through several walls and rusted out some of the gears in the elevator in a way that was guaranteed to bring the whole thing to a halt and keep it stuck there until a repairman could arrive. Pleased with his work, he phased back out and was rewarded with a large chunk of warmed, gooey Brie.

"Now we just have to wait for Father to try to use it," Adrien said, tucking Plagg into his jacket and heading back towards his room. "He has a meeting right now, but it doesn't end until ten."

"Maybe he won't even try to use it today," Plagg suggested. He licked off the cheese that had gotten smeared around his mouth. "I can't fix the thing if he decides to take the day off, just so you know. Tikki could, though."

"He almost never takes the day off," Adrien grumbled. "I'm looking forward to having nice uninterrupted weeks of school after this is over. I'm missing way too much class right now, and it's all his fault. And speaking of school, I have homework to get done. Come on, Plagg."

Plagg spluttered as he followed Adrien back to his room. "Really? You're gonna do schoolwork right now? How are you even going to focus when the raid could be today? C'mon, let's just watch TV or something."

"Not happening. I'm behind right now in Literature because of that last akuma fight on Friday, and I have to catch up before Miss Bustier throws another pop quiz at us."

As soon as the clock hit ten o'clock, Plagg started lurking behind the painting in the atrium, listening for the sound of Mr. Agreste's secret elevator. Much to his disappointment, Mr. Agreste seemed too deeply interested in whatever he was doing on his computer to try going down into his lair.

"Most of the attacks seem to be in the afternoon, anyway," Adrien commented when he fetched Plagg as he headed down for lunch. "And hey, look! Macaroni and cheese, your favorite!"

Plagg perked up.

As usual, Mr. Agreste didn't join them- well, didn't join Adrien- for lunch, instead having it brought to his office so he could continue working. That meant that Plagg couldn't relax entirely with his delicious bowl (well, technically Adrien's delicious bowl, but he was sharing) of cheesy macaroni goodness. He had to keep listening for the faint sound of Mr. Agreste's nearly-silent elevator whirring to life.

"Master Fu said that everything is ready as soon as my father gets stuck and Nathalie leaves," Adrien whispered. He was clearly starting to get anxious with the wait. "Ladybug isn't transformed, but she is close by."

"Yes, yes, hanging out in the park nearby like you all planned," Plagg finished with a yawn. He really should have taken a nap earlier when he had the chance because now he couldn't sleep until after the raid, but there was no way to go back and fix that now. He had to listen for the elevator. "I know."

Once lunch was finished, Adrien headed slowly back up to his room, dragging his feet the entire way. Right before he opened his bedroom door, Plagg perked up.

"Hold on a second," he hissed. "Listen!"

Adrien froze. "I don't hear anythi-"

"Of course you don't! Shush for a moment!" Plagg turned his head, flicking his ears so he caught the quiet wrrrrr of the elevator as it sprung into motion. "He's going to the lair!" Then he paused and sniggered. "Well, he's trying to, at least. Wait for it...wait for it..."

Plagg listened with great satisfaction as the elevator stuttered several times, then ground to a halt. His sensitive ears could pick up the sound of hearty cursing coming from below, so faint and muffled by the walls that Adrien, who was standing next to him, didn't react at all.

"He's stuck," Plagg reported with a hiss, and Adrien startled.

"Really?"

"Really. He should be caught right where the elevator starts heading upwards towards the lair. He'll have to stand on that little circle of floor until someone gets him out." Plagg was rather proud of that placement, actually. It ensured that Mr. Agreste wouldn't simply get off of his little elevator thing and try to fix it himself, or get off and walk back to the office entrance and have Nathalie open the hole for him. It also meant that he would be so stuck that it was possible that Nathalie would have to step out of the office again after coming back from fetching a mechanic to go get lunch or use the bathroom.

So if they didn't get absolutely everything on the first try, they could very well be time to go back for another shot.

Right on schedule, Nathalie's phone rang. She answered and Plagg listened in to their conversation as Adrien texted Fu, who was with Ladybug. They would be moving into position now.

"Sir, the man who built that- he lives an hour outside of Paris!" Nathalie said, alarmed. "It would be faster to find someone in the city-"

Plagg snickered as Mr. Agreste cut her off. Apparently any old repairman in the city simply would not do. He required the man who lived a ways out, probably because he would be less likely to put the pieces together and realize (or care) that Mr. Agreste was Hawkmoth.

"I- I will call him then, sir," Nathalie said, sounding suitably cowed. "And then I'll let you know how soon we can expect him."

There was the sound of the phone being dialed, and then Nathalie spoke again. "Hello? Mr. Angelo? Yes, this is Nathalie Sancoeur, Mr. Agreste's assistant. The floor elevator that you built for him has broken down, and he's trapped- yes, and in the worst spot too, he's in that tube that heads upwards, so he really can't move at all." A pause. "You're nearby? Really? Perfect! Half an hour out- actually, we can come and get you, so that your crew can keep working on the project and keep the van with them. I understand if fixing the elevator properly has to wait for another day, we just need to get Mr. Agreste out."

Plagg suddenly realized that the we Nathalie spoke of might actually just mean the Gorilla. There was a possibility- a large possibility- that she might just stay at her desk and coordinate things from there.

...bugger. Maybe he should have coordinated some sort of electrical failure to try to force her out of the office.

"No, she's coming out," Adrien whispered. Apparently Plagg had been muttering his thoughts out loud. "She loves getting out of the house. She can keep working on the road from her tablet."

Sure enough, Nathalie was grabbing a light jacket from behind the desk and dialing the Gorilla. She shut off the lights in the office and closed the door, pressing some buttons on her tablet to engage the security system.

Plagg smirked. He was sure that everything looked perfectly normal on her system feed, but in reality nothing had engaged. Over the past couple days, he had made sure that every one of the motion detectors was broken just so, so that nothing would register as being wrong. There would still be the camera to deal with, but Trixx was meant to be in charge of that.

"Adrien?" Nathalie called. She turned away from the door and started towards the stairs. "Adrien?"

Adrien gulped and pressed back against his door. He opened it and then closed it so she wouldn't realize that he hadn't been in his room before stepping out into view in the hallway. "Yes, Nathalie?"

"Your driver and I have to go and fetch someone to repair something of your father's," Nathalie told him. "We'll be gone probably an hour. Is there anything you'll need while we're gone?"

Adrien made a show of thinking about it. "I don't think so? I'm just working on some of my reading for class, and then I might work on my Chinese or piano or something."

"Okay. Just stay out of trouble," Nathalie told him, and Plagg muffled a snigger. Adrien was going to be stealing from his father, messing with the security system, and introducing a virus to his father's computer. That was hardly staying out of trouble. Still, Adrien wouldn't be running off at all, which was probably what Nathalie was concerned about.

Well. Chat Noir would be leaving the house to go have a short meeting with Ladybug and Master Fu about how the raid had gone afterwards, but that wasn't running off, not really. After all, he would be coming right back.

"Of course," Adrien promised, and then Nathalie was off. Adrien watched the car leave, and then headed back into his room. After all, he could hardly transform in the atrium, since there was a security camera there. As soon as his door closed behind him, Trixx zipped past them, headed for the office.

"You realize that if Nathalie reviews the security stuff, she's gonna be listening for your piano, right?" Plagg demanded as they waited for the signal that Trixx had been successful in looping the video. "And I don't know how we would work that into the camera loop without it sounding weird."

"That's why I said I might work on my Chinese, too," Adrien pointed out. "After we're done with everything, I can go back to my room and put on a tape or something and actually work on my homework. I just wanted to include enough activities that she wouldn't try to call me partway through to make sure I was staying out of trouble. She's assigned stuff for me to do before and then check on it later to make sure I was actually doing that and not off somewhere else. If I say I'm busy already, she won't do that."

Plagg decided to be impressed that Adrien had gotten so good at evading his secretary's tricks, and all on his own, too! Plagg hadn't even needed to encourage him. There were times when his Chosen was so goody two-shoes that Plagg almost despaired, but clearly Adrien wasn't quite as straight-laced as he would lead people to believe.

Adrien's phone beeped, and he whipped it up to read the message. "Trixx gave Fu the signal! It's time to go in! Plagg, transform me!"

~~~~~~~~~~

Later that day, once they had gotten to Fu's place, Plagg heard about how the raid had gone. With all of the cameras they had to pass on loop and the security in the office disabled, it was easy enough for the superheroes to go in. Pollen popped the safe open, and Ladybug switched out the scrolls and book out for fakes and snagged the peacock pin. Meanwhile, Chat Noir went straight for his father's computer. Mr. Agreste had actually left it logged in to the superhero research user, and he had several tabs open for research as well.

"It was perfect," Trixx sighed happily as he remembered it. "One of those sites looked a little suspect, so it's not that much of a stretch to think that he might have gotten a virus from that. It took a while to transfer all of the files onto our flash drive, but then no time at all to get the virus going afterwards. Then once Ladybug left, I took the security feeds off of loop. It really wasn't hard at all! I don't know why humans think that it is."

Plagg was of the opinion that Mr. Agreste's security perhaps wasn't quite as top-tier as he believed. Besides, knowing the passwords to get into the security system probably helped make the whole thing easier.

"It is very fortunate that everything worked out so perfectly," Fu commented from his spot at the front of the room. "I worried that Mr. Agreste's assistant might decide not to leave, or- what?" Trixx and Pollen (along with both Adrien and Ladybug) had made a funny little noise.

"Nathalie did come back in while we were there," Ladybug said, and Plagg choked on his cheese. What?

"She was a bit surprised to find us there," Adrien chimed in, and even with the distortion from the mask, Plagg could hear the amusement lacing through his Chosen's voice, and a bit of happiness, too. "But even though she knew about Mr. Agreste being Hawkmoth, she wasn't on his side at all. She's being blackmailed or threatened or something- or at least she worries about it, and I don't blame her- into keeping quiet, but she wants him taken down. She was the one who told us about the backup flash drive for the Miraculous files, and one of the scrolls that had been stored in his desk."

"And she made certain that we took the pin," Ladybug added. "And then she asked if she could help with the security footage, but we told her it was under control."

Plagg's eyes bulged as he listened. He knew that he was picking up some weird signals from Nathalie when he hung around the office, but he hadn't expected her to not be working with Mr. Agreste. He definitely hadn't expected that she would actively work against her employer.

...granted, he had definitely heard her lie once or twice about knowing where Adrien was during an akuma attack. He had always assumed that she hadn't wanted to get in trouble for losing Adrien. That was still pretty likely, but maybe she had suspected who Adrien was and had wanted to protect him from his father.

"She was telling them the truth," Pollen confirmed. "I was keeping my feelers out the entire time she was there. She was relieved that they had figured things out."

Fu's eyes were wide as well. "Well! She could be an interesting one to talk to once Hawkmoth is defeated. I'd be interested in learning what she knows about all of the research that Mr. Agreste and his wife did about the Miraculous and why they were looking for the missing Miraculous in the first place."

"She might only know the bare minimum," Wayzz pointed out. "From what I've heard, Hawkmoth is the kind to keep his cards close to his chest. I wouldn't be surprised if she only knew that he's Hawkmoth and he wants to change the moment his wife was lost."

Fu shrugged. "Perhaps. It's worth asking, at least. But for now, we have to turn our attention to defeating Hawkmoth and getting Nooroo back," Fu continued. "I would like to avoid a full-out public battle, if possible, so surprise is key. If we can corner him somewhere public enough that he cannot simply transform and escape, that would be best."

"You want to try for the least amount of media attention," Ladybug guessed. "Will that even work, though, considering how big of a name Mr. Agreste is?"

Fu chuckled. "Not everyone is interested in fashion, Ladybug," he reminded her. "Yes, he is famous in the fashion world, and yes, he is rich, but there are a lot of rich, famous people in Paris. To most people, he will likely not be hugely familiar."

Plagg made a face. He wasn't so sure of that. Mr. Agreste was a big name. He wasn't just a local designer, he was head of a multi-country fashion empire. Maybe not everyone cared a whole lot about fashion, but the name would be recognizable to pretty much everyone in Paris. Maybe the old man wasn't terribly familiar with Mr. Agreste, but somehow Plagg doubted that Fu paid any attention to any celebrities at all.

"Does he ever take the Miraculous off?" Ladybug asked. "If we could just sneak in and take it- or, actually, could the kwamis-?"

Fu shook his head. "The kwamis can't pick up or move the Miraculous most of the time, not even their own. The only exception would be if their Chosen died and the kwami had to keep the Miraculous from being buried with them or otherwise lost forever."

"So one of us would have to sneak in," Ladybug said, automatically glancing towards Adrien and instead looking straight at the screen instead. "If he ever takes the Miraculous off, that is."

"He doesn't," Plagg said immediately. He had spent forever watching Mr. Agreste to try to figure that out. It had been boring, and he hadn't even brought any cheese with him to snack on while he watched. "He keeps it on him at all times if he can. During the day, of course, and then at night he pins it to his sleep shirt. The only time it's not on his person is when he's taking a shower, and unless one of you wants to try slipping in to take it-"

"No!" both Adrien and Ladybug practically shouted in unison. "Ugh, no," Adrien added, shuddering. "I'd rather not be scarred for life, thanks."

Ladybug nodded frantically in agreement.

Fu was clearly trying not to laugh at their reactions. "So we stick with retrieving the Miraculous from him during the day while trying to attract as little attention as possible. Ideas?"

"We could contact the police first, so that they're sitting nearby and can cart him off before any disturbance catches people's attention," Ladybug suggested. "And if we caught him at his house, by the front door, then we could just walk him to the gate and have the police take him without a whole lot of people seeing."

"But is that public enough to keep him from transforming?" Adrien immediately asked. "If he already has one staff member who knows, then maybe he doesn't care about if the others know, because he can just threaten them into silence."

"One person is easier to control than three or five," Ladybug countered. "And the mansion is right next to a park area. If we can somehow get him outside first, then maybe he would feel too exposed. We would just have to station someone inside to keep him from coming back out." She dropped her head into her hands and groaned. "This would work better if there were more of us, but it wouldn't make sense to bring new holders in now. I still think they would get too excited and mess things up."

Fu smiled at that. "Perhaps, yes. But you forget that, even with as old as I am, I am still a Miraculous holder, and I can still transform."

"Master-" Wayzz started to object.

"But perhaps I need to tone down my transformation sequence," Fu added. Wayzz sighed and looked rather resigned. Plagg tried not to laugh. The old man was so tiny now that it would be a miracle if Mr. Agreste even noticed him.

"I still don't understand how that would work," Adrien said. Even with his face hidden, Plagg could tell that he was frowning. "Unless it's Master Fu inside attacking from behind, Fa- er, Mr. Agreste is going to suspect something. And how are we going to get him to come out? Ask him? He never goes outside on his own."

There was a pause.

"Actually, I like that," Fu said slowly. "If we go up and confront him like 'you have something you aren't supposed to have, hand it over', then maybe he'll realize that he's been found out and be intimidated into giving us Nooroo."

The waves of incredulity coming off of Adrien grew. Clearly he couldn't picture his father simply being intimidated into doing anything. Plagg had to agree.

Gabriel Agreste would not be intimidated into anything when the people doing the intimidating were two teens and a tiny little man dressed as s turtle. However, if there was an actually intimidating Turtle...

"Uh, no," Plagg said before anyone else could chime in, because he had just had a fabulous idea and he wanted to get the credit for it. "You're about as intimidating as a kitten now, old man. Lend someone the Miraculous for the day. I recommend Ladybug's dad, he's big enough to intimidate anyone that doesn't know him."

Adrien spun around immediately to stare at Plagg. Or at least Plagg was assuming his Chosen was staring. He couldn't tell for sure, because Adrien was still wearing that ridiculous helmet. "You know who her dad is?!"

"Kid, I learned who Ladybug is during the Dark Owl attack, remember?" Plagg reminded him. How had Adrien forgotten? Plagg had had to put up with Adrien sighing over how Ladybug's untransformed hand had brushed his own for an entire week after that particular akuma attack. "Did you hit your head or something?"

"I know that!" Adrien protested, his voice starting to go a bit high-pitched and squeaky. "But knowing who Ladybug is and knowing who her dad is are two different things!"

On the far side of the screen, Ladybug was giggling.

"Plagg has a point," Fu said. The expression on his face suggested that he hadn't ever expected to say that. Plagg resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at him. "I am...perhaps less intimidating than I used to be. Ladybug, do you think that you dad would be willing...?"

"I think Papa would help," Ladybug said immediately. "Even if he doesn't know that I'm Ladybug. He might be a little hesitant at first since he doesn't like fighting, but he always talks about how Hawkmoth is a bully and how he wishes he could do something for- well, for us."

Fu looked pleased. "Fabulous. We'll approach him once we have more of our attack planned out. Plagg, do you have any other ideas? Any suggestions for a temporary Fox or Bee, maybe, or should we simply stick with three?"

Plagg blinked up at Fu slowly as he yawned widely. All of this planning stuff was making him tired. And hungry, of course. "No. I don't do work. I don't do thinking. The Turtle thing was just obvious."

"Do we have to have to have more Miraculous holders on top of that?" Adrien asked. He didn't sound even remotely convinced. "I mean, if we have to train in a whole slew of people, even if they're just temporary, that could be a lot of work."

"The Turtle honestly takes very little explanation," Fu said. His lips twitched up in a small smile. "It is meant to be a protector and a tank. There are some specific attacks and special defenses it has, but they take a fair amount of training to master and really, the basics are all we should need."

"And if we had a temporary Fox, they wouldn't even have to fight," Trixx added eagerly. "They could use Mirage to make illusions of Ladybug and Chat Noir to stand with Ladybug's father, so you two could be hiding in the house and Mr. Agreste won't even think to expect an attack from behind. And I could have my temporary Fox back for real this time. Please? Please? Can I?"

Tikki made a face at that. "I think the previous temporary Fox might be a little too excitable for this. I know she did a great job before," she added before Trixx could argue. "And if we need a permanent Fox for whatever reason afterwards, then I think we should definitely go with her. But I think she might be really likely to want to charge in and be part of the proper fight herself here, or want to help with akuma attacks between getting the Miraculous and the final attack, and if she met Master Fu then she might get distracted with asking questions. We need someone who is a little less headstrong and risk-taking, I think. She's a little too used to the idea that superheroes can't get hurt, when they could be here."

"I agree with that," Ladybug said. "As great as it was to fight alongside her last time, she did take some time to focus after she transformed. And she already takes so many risks during normal akuma attacks..."

"Wait, who was the temporary holder last time?" Adrien asked. He glanced at Fu. "Am I even allowed to know?"

Fu thought about it. "Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt. After all, she doesn't have the Miraculous now, and if she receives it afterwards, the need for secrecy won't be so great. Ladybug?"

"Rena was the Ladyblogger," Ladybug said. "Alya Cesare."

"Really? Oh, no wonder she was so excited about it!" Adrien paused. "...but yeah, you're right. Doesn't she, uh, know Mr. Agreste's son? That might make her more likely to want to jump in to the fight."

Fu nodded. "Then we will have to pick another. Perhaps we should ask your mother, Ladybug. I'm sure she would be around when we ask your father to be a temporary holder and so she would find out about you and about me anyway. That way, we can limit the spread of knowledge for now."

Trixx pouted.

"Why are we only considering people from my family?" Ladybug wanted to know. "I mean, I'm sure Mama and Papa would be willing, and that makes sense about not letting a lot of people know about us, but what about Chat Noir's family? Surely there has to be someone who- why are you laughing?"

Plagg was absolutely howling with laughter. Wayzz was snickering. Tikki, Pollen and Trixx had all started to giggle. Even Adrien had cracked a small smile.

"I'm sure it will become obvious to you eventually," Fu assured her, though there was a hint of laughter in his voice as well. "But for now, we'll plan to stick with your family."

Even though he was still doubled over snickering, Plagg couldn't miss the confusion coming from Ladybug. It turned into something closer to worry as she turned to look in her partner's direction, and she scooted closer to the screen separating her from Adrien. A hand snuck around the edge.

Adrien's smile was visible even under the helmet as he reached forward to twine his fingers with hers.

#Miraculous Ladybug #My writing #Plagg and the Butterfly Costume

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declanfs · 3 years ago

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July 3, 2021

WOW! 8 weeks old today, where has the time gone??

11.2 lbs (according to the bathroom scale)

24 inches (according to my best guess with your wiggly body)

Let’s see. You have a love/hate relationship with your new swaddle. Your hands are free, but they’re also stuck up by your face. You love that they’re free, but hate that they’re not all the way free. You love it at bedtime, but hate waking up finding that your arms are trapped. We’ve been bedsharing for the last 2 weeks after your big sleep (usually 4 hours), and this is more sleep for everyone. We still can’t do the side lying nursing, but even sitting up and nursing you before we snuggle side by side is leading to more sleep because you settle so much more quickly and wake me up so much more easily before getting too loud. Once we master side lying nursing, I might not wake up at all!

You had your tongue tie Redone in a way because it healed back together a bit. The doctor was able to break up the scar tissue just by pushing on it, but that still made it bleed and it can’t feel good to have it pushed on. This means I have to sweep it every time before feeding you, and you really despise this. Just like 27 more days to go.. it’s all so we can continue breast feeding and so you hopefully won’t have a speech impediment or need braces.

Other exciting things:

you’re smiling on purpose pretty regularly now and it’s equally Heart warming each time

You giggled in your sleep this morning and have partially giggled 2 times when awake, I cannot wait for this to be more regular

You still prefer to nap in my arms, but you’ve napped in the wrap a few times, and in the swing a couple times. I don’t want to give up the naps in my arms completely, but it is nice to be able to exercise and shower before bedtime

We go to the beach for the first time in a week!

You and I went out on our own for the first time, and now it’s not so scary. We went to a breastfeeding group, to visit Sarah, and to Kolby’s house

I get my second covid vaccine in a few days, and learned from my first one to expect swollen lymph nodes that affect how milk drains

I went to get a haircut all by myself, and have been to target twice. Once to get July birthday cards and once to get new bathing suits and shorts since my old shorts don’t fit yet. I’m still 8-9 pounds heavier than before, but soon I’ll be able to exercise more

I can do arm workouts, and have been aiming for 3 strength workouts a week, walking every day, and stretching every day when I can. I’ve also started doing some core recovery exercises, mostly core breath and glute bridge. I had just a bit of diastasis recti above my bellybutton, maybe the size of a dime

You like bath time a bit more now, and bedtime routine is diaper, lotion, pjs,swaddle suit, nurse. The white noise machine is going, and I sing dream a little dream. Not sure if it makes a difference or if you even notice. We’ve gone back at 7:30 the past two nights aiming for 8pm to be asleep.

You had an ultra sound to check for hip dysplasia (not a problem), and we saw Hayley a few times for OT. We are taking a break though until we master the tug of war exercise.

Loves: the purple monkey, panda, and lion on your little floor mobile toy, swinging, bouncing, studying the trees and sky, morning walks in the stroller (sometimes), funny faces and sounds from mama and daddy, little baby bounces on the trampoline. Walking on the treadmill while in the wrap.

You can: smile, track with your eyes and head, hold your head upright, try to lift your head and body off the floor when you’re on your belly (your head is so big and heavy and you body is so long snd skinny that this is really tough!),

Hates: tummy time (hating this less as it gets easier), having your tongue tie sweeped, getting strapped into the car seat (also getting better), getting strapped into the wrap (sometimes) but you enjoy sleeping in it!

Daddy will always remember how you pooped on him. Twice. And his first Father’s Day as a human dad

Mama will always remember how special nursing is, at any hour of the day or night. I love when you stretch out your arms to cover your face or when you’re moving your hands all over because that’s your safe spot. It’s been a journey, but you’re worth it

#2 months

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headlessandhellbent · 4 years ago

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Migraine update: 3w 5d on amitriptyline

I'm having two annoying sideffects. One is an immediate headache upon taking the pills, and the other a intense heat rash on my right cheek about 10-15m after taking the pills.

The thing is, I haven't had A N Y headaches since day 1 of starting amitriptyline. Like my head is clear and pain free. I get tension headaches from my tmj occasionally, but my jaw can go about 2-3w now without therapy before it starts hurting so the jaw/head pain come together and from a known source and I can easily schedule an ot appointment to fix it if need be.

It's just those 1-2hrs post taking my pills that are killing me. Is it a trade off? 2 hours of extreme discomfort/pain for 22 hours of being pain free? My answer is obvious yes... Until in actually in those two hours, and basically immobile from pain.

Both sideffects go away within an hour on their own, the headache with some acetaminophen... But the heat rash on that one cheek is not only INTENSE while it's there, but is so bad/hot it causes my eyes to water... Which, this is totally a me problem, but is an issue because it's at bedtime when I have eyecream on and then all of a sudden I'm crying my cream into my eyes and they're burning... Not to mention all my other lotions and potions on my fave basically cooking off. It also makes me face, like, not produce any oil which has cleared up my adult blackheads, but also means my face is, like, tight and kinda uncomfortable.. and I could probably slather FAB UR cream on it every 15m and never have enough on.

I have OT tomorrow, and then I'm going to call my neurologist after. I'm just so sick of having fleeting hope/relief and then I back peddle like 5 steps. Every. Single. Time. Considered just living with the consequences of no migraines, and I did when it was just the headaches post medicine but these heat rashes on ONE cheek are unbearable. Honestly, I cried for like three hours debating back and forth about calling my neurologist because I'm so fucking scared of a)being moved to the other medicine he said has worse side effects than this one and b)starting the other medicine and having it not work. I'm so scared I've taken advantage of these 3-4 weeks of being migraine free, because why would anything be easy or pain free for me? What a fucking idiot I've been. Was it really me who had to call their fucking mom to get them from aldi, because in the time it took for me to cash out and walk my cart to my car I got a migraine SO bad I had to sit in the car crying with a cart full of food outside wishing the 2kmg of acetaminophen I took would just kill me? It feels so removed, I don't even remember that person anymore. I don't know what I'd do if I ever felt like that again.

I'd love for someone to tell me what I did in a past life to deserve all this continual, incurable, pain.

Thanks for reading my angsty emo diary entry.

#migraines #headache #migraine headache #amitriptyline #headacherelief #migraine medicine #chronic migraine #migraineproblems #chronic pain #chronic headaches

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fitnesshealthyoga-blog · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/sharing-all-of-the-details/

Sharing all of the details

Hi friends! Hope you’re having a wonderful morning and that you enjoyed the weekend! Ours was fun and relaxing; I’ll be posting a recap up soon. We’re definitely finding our groove as a family and really enjoying having the Pilot home. Since his homecoming, I feel like I have so many things I can finally share and blog about.

As you guys know, the Pilot was gone for 7 months. (He left with the early crew since we were all in Tucson by that time and it would prevent someone else from having to go early.) It was a long 7 months, but the girls and I made the most out of the time together and loved being in Tucson with the family. We spent the summer swimming at my Uncle Eric’s house and playing with the cousins, got back into the routine with their new schools, and traveled together. We spent all of our birthdays and holidays here, put together care packages for him and video messages, and while we were certainly very sad and missed him like crazy, we still managed to have a ton of fun while he was gone.

It felt really weird blogging for the past 6 months because this was a huge part of my life, and I couldn’t talk about it. 6+ months of all of the bedtime routines, meals, school drop-offs and pick-ups, after-school activities, events, everything… it was intense. I want to acknowledge all of the single parents out there, who are constantly hustling at this level, every minute of every day. I’m in awe of you and I think single parents are real-life superheroes. During this unique season, the girls were amazing and we had a great time together. While it was challenging, I feel lucky that I was the one here with them and not the one who was away. I really appreciate your understanding for why I chose to keep this info private, and to those of you who did know what was going on, thank you for respecting our privacy and safety.

(Photo: Lindsay Colson)

Now, I have SO MUCH TO TELL YOU.

So, the Tucson move. The military didn’t move us to Tucson, but we did anticipate switching to the reserves after the deployment. We chose to come out here for the deployment to be with family, and get the chance to stay here if we did indeed decide to switch. The Pilot and I packed up a 28-ft Uhaul of necessities, he drove it across the country, and we moved back into our old house since our tenants were moving out (talk about awesome timing).

We spent so much time weighing pros and cons of staying in Valdosta during the deployment, but in the end, we decided this would be a smart choice. A major part in our decision factor was that one of the girls has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).

I haven’t blogged much about it, and likely will not post more than the following paragraph. Essentially SPD causes the body to go into “flight or fight” mode. It’s not a behavior problem – it’s developmental – and certain things can trigger the feeling like her body is attacking itself. For some kids it can be a smell, taste or sensation, and in our situation, it was tactile-based. She would wake up in the middle of the night feeling like her pajamas were literally attacking her body. It was absolutely horrible and heartbreaking, and something we thought was behavioral for a long time. (And when I think about the times I was like, “Stop throwing a tantrum, just get dressed!” I feel so awful. There was nothing she could do about it.) Last holiday season, we were almost 2 hours late to school each day because of the constant meltdowns. All of the clothes she’d put on would feel like a million needles, and I spent a lot of time buying seamless clothes online that she hated, and cutting tags out of everything. After 6 weeks of zero sleep, we went to our pediatrician, who got us into an AMAZING OT who fixed the problem within 2 weeks. (This is incredible but joint impact and resistance helps to soothe that system in the body and prevents it from switching to the sympathetic mode. We do lots of climbing, pulling, crawling, and hanging around here.)

I was really concerned about relapsing while the Pilot was away. When one child has the meltdowns, the other becomes extremely afraid and cries, so both children are sobbing at the same time. It makes it really hard to soothe both kids at once. I knew that if we relapsed, I wanted to have a system in place for backup. If we stayed in Valdosta, I would have had to find another babysitter because our beloved babysitter was moving during the summer, too. I knew if we were in Tucson, if ish hit the fan, I could call anyone in my family and they’d be able to come and help. We hit a couple of tough parts during the first few months the Pilot was gone, but thankfully, knock on wood, it hasn’t happened again. We’re still in OT and do daily therapy exercises at home, but thankfully it’s completely managed and doesn’t affect school or her daily life. Our OT exercises are just part of the routine, including skin brushing and varying sensory inputs.

Many women and men stay at their base during their spouse’s deployments, but I also learned that a lot of people don’t. They head home to be with family. I feel fortunate that we were able to make this decision, and that we could be surrounded by so many people who love us. I still did everything I needed to take care of the girls and our house, but having family around really helped decrease the loneliness. We figured that since it’s our last of 4 deployments, we could take some steps to give ourselves a better experience. It was so, so worth it. It may not be the right choice for everyone, but it was absolutely the right choice for our family.

During our first week in Tucson, I took a spin class at (r)evolve. This is cheesy but I’m going to tell you anyway: they played the song by Coldplay that says, “Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones” and I had to keep myself from sobbing. There I was, on a spin bike about to cry to a club remix of a Coldplay song. I felt overwhelming joy in that moment, and felt proud of us for taking a huge step for our happiness during a challenging time.

We came to Tucson not knowing if we’d get to end up staying here. After many late-night discussions and potential action plans, the Pilot is getting out of active duty. The active duty life has been incredible for our family and has given us lifelong friends. I’m really excited for the next steps and can’t imagine what it will be like to choose where we want to live, even though we’ll be in Tucson for a little while. He’ll still be flying regularly, but will be wearing different patches. 😉

I just feel like the elephant that’s been hanging out on my chest got up and walked away. Thank you so much for being here, and for reading, chatting with me IG, and being awesome the last 7 months. While I couldn’t tell you everything that was going on, I hope you know how much you being here helped to support me and keep me going when things were a little more challenging than usual.

And with that, the Pilot is taking weekend wake-up duty for a while, and I’m sleeping in every weekend from now on. muahaha.

Love to you all, friends.

Gina

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#current health news usa #health news usa today #healthcare news usa #Fitness Training

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jonasmaurer · 6 years ago

Text

Sharing all of the details

(Photo: Lindsay Colson)

Now, I have SO MUCH TO TELL YOU.

And with that, the Pilot is taking weekend wake-up duty for a while, and I’m sleeping in every weekend from now on. muahaha.

Love to you all, friends.

Gina

The post Sharing all of the details appeared first on The Fitnessista.

Sharing all of the details published first on https://olimpsportnutritionde.tumblr.com/

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chickenstuffedwithmozzarella · 7 years ago

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Haaau. Oooh. Thats sweet. Do i really say holiii that much? I havent noticed. Okay, let's blame tumblr. It's not as if it works perfectly so...😂 Oooh, yes!! I'm in. Tag me in whatever you want. The meme of H and the lamb was hilarious. I love that comparison. Jajajajajja Gosh, can you imagine when he sings Familiar all by himself? Without JBalvin to do that part? If he sings the whole song when he comes to Spain, fans will lose it😂 (1). ((Any update of Liam the cat?))

HI!!!!! I don’t know! You have say it just a couple of times, really, but this girl says all the time and you reminded me of her, and now she reminds me of you,jejje. Honestly, that lamb is Honey! Jajajja. He’s like that too! He looks at you like: what? Do you have something to say? No? okay, bye. Jajaja. And let’s be honest, harry is very meme material,jajajajajja. (I’m so behind in his tour updates, btw. Haven’t seen anything🤦🏻‍♀️) Liam is coming in a couple of weeks? The 4th. Imagine if he sings in Spanish!!! I would die! If he does, he will do it Perfect (Perfect is capitalized bc of the song, omg). I’m sure he’s learning new words in Spanish. Hola sacapuntas, ¿como están todos? 🤣🤣🤣

Oh nono. Dont apologise. I was just laughing at myself. But thanks for the effort💖 This asks was easy to figure out. Oh, dont worry. Im more concerned about the inbox eating my asks (are they safe or are they lost? I never know) than you not answering. Really. (2)

Right? Like, you take the effort to write something and then you put it out there, without knowing if it will reach their destination or not. And at least with me, you know for sure if the ask is missing or not. But when you write people who has a lot of ask you’re like: did the ask get lost or did I say something rude? Are they ignoring me or have the blocked me??? Hjdfojriofjnoeirvjerv @staff!! Work on it!!!!

I dont like the sentence that goes “seria mucho mejor si participa”. Its nothing, but…me chirría* bcs of the possible undertone. Im very sensitive. Thats it. Though i must say that they compensate it with tge next sentence “voy a hacerte todo *lo que me permitas*”. Bcs consent!! Thats important. Oh, same. I dont usually hear anything in Spanish, mainly bcs i havent found anything that i like. Oh, you have almost the whole week free? Thats good!! (3) *i cant think of how to translate it xd

Jo, I haven’t read the lyrics yet (sorry Liam, I’m a very busy person,😅), but yes, you might be right. That sentence… if she isn’t participating… what are you doing then? And yes, that other sentence is better. I have to take my work (as a fan,lol) more seriously. Sdicsjdlncinsldcnlcjvls LOUIS JUST TWEETED LIAM???? Jfdbhkdbffvdfkv WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!No, but my friends are idiots, jajajja, because I like a lot of Spanish music, actually. Like from the 80s and such,jajajajaj. And once, we were watching OT el reencuentro, and I knew all the songs and they wouldn’t stop teasing me, jajajaj. And o was like: see?? I like Spanish music. OLD Spanish music. Now, even Bisbal sings reguetón 🤦🏻‍♀️.I have to babysit my cousin on Wednesdays starting this week, so good. Bc I only work on Tuesdays and weekends. And someone else have offered me to babysit their children occasionally, so good good. More money for me to spend on the boys.

No idea what is Terra Chat. I guess i was too young? But i do remember messenger! You talked for 6h each day? Thats insane! I could not talk for so many hours. I would run out of topics or something. First time you failed anything, and you 6? Wow. Go big or go home, right? Jajajajaja. Luckily i dont think i’ve ever had any problem with the internet🤔. Its a lifesaver, really. (4)

Seriously, Terra’s chat was the boom back them, jajajja. But I was like 15, so maybe you were still starting to walk, jajajaa (I DON’T KNOW!!)? And yes we would talk for 6h every day. I would eat dinner at my computer, the days I would eat something at all. I lost 4kg the first week I started talking with him,jajajaja. IT WAS TRUE LOVE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 (gaaa, I used to be the most embarrassing teenager you can imagine,jajaja (haven’t change much, I admit)) [philosophy moment of the day] Kids from today’s day should know the struggle to not be able to text every moment of every day. Having to compact your words into 180(?) caracteres, bc you only could send a text, and it costed money! EVERY. TEXT! Uffff, that gives personality to someone,jajaja. They have so easy to communicate these days😌. [end of philosophy moment]

You also have a JHO shirt????😍😍😍😍 one shirt for each? Well then, 2 more to go. I’ll swear, someday i’ll get myself something like that. What?! You didnt like Niall??? Soraya!! How so? He was lovely! Yes!! He (& his team) is doing so good! He’s conquering the world and im here for it. And also, his new dressing style is a blessing. I love the trousers he wears for the shows. He looks really handsome😍 (5)

The better part of them putting out they’re careers at different times is that you don’t notice you’re spending so much money,jajaja. Because everything is so expensive!!!! Don’t remind me, I’m ashamed I didn’t like him. 🤦🏻‍♀️. It’s not that I didn’t like like him. I just didn’t see anything special about him?? How??? Was I blind??? Probably! But now I just jsdkhfiowjefijowef love everything about him. And yes, absolutely yes no his new style. I can’t wait to see him in person, omg!!! I’m so excited already, jajajaja.

Over again? Listen, can you belive that i discovered very recently that when they sang “hole in the middle of my heart like a polo” there werent talking about shirts?!! I used to hate that sentence bcs it made no sense to me! But they are talking about candys!! Of course. Solo songs. How did i forget?? Small stage? Mymy. You are a genius😂 Oh cool. I know nothing about cameras, but this one has an impressive name. JAJAJA. (6)

Jajajajajaja, I was shocked too when I knew about that too! Jajajaja, I remember thinking, oh that’s makes much more sense that a shirt with a hole??? Jajajajajja. But I love that song live, seriously. You’d have to hear me and see me the concerts I perform in my car!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣. I lose it with that song! My dream? To drive for 5-6-7 hours singing every 1d and solo songs, singing (screaming) every song, and with other four friends/fans. That’s my dream. Jajajaja. No dram job. No being rich. No nothing. Just singing 1d songs, jjajajaja.

Okaaay. I will call you if necessary. Same goes for you. JBieber and Zayn? What about them? Are they making a colabo or something? Are you asking about my toughts on them?? Sorry. Im a bit lost. (7)

No god, how could you Thing they would be collaborating, 😖, jajajajaa. No no. Your thoughts on them. Nah, I asked be I was going to tell you things my mom says about them, but I don’t want to offend you if you like them, jejeje.

Guess what. My friend (who is the most up-to-date on pop culture and music, and the one i always tell my theories to) called me yesterday “la reina del ocultismo”. (Just bcs i said that Shawn latest song sounded queer to me). JAJAJAJAJAJA. Anyway, I felt so proud. I might be crazy, but at least i have cool name. And i dont get bored🤷 (8)

LA REINA DEL OCULTISMO!!! Oh yes!!!! Jajajajajaa. Hey, I don’t follow very close Shawn, just what I see in my dash, or I’ve hear the songs they play on radio, but girl!!! He so gay!!! (And I don’t want to be offensive, okay? Offensive as in assuming he’s gay or something (wow, they just started playing It Isn’t in My Blood by Shawn,jajja) just because stereotypes). I saw and interview the other day, and he’s stance…mymy. But, well, again, I don’t know anything about him. “I might be crazy, […]And i dont get bored” #aboutme, jajjaja. And, please, share you’re crazy theories with me!!! Jajaja

YES YES YES. Of course i read fics. I read them everywhere, shamelessly. On the train, on the subway, at college, at family dinners (that one was risky, i must admit). JAJAJA. But sadly i have too many fics on the “to read” list. Bcs i dont feel like reading something with the length of a book on the phone, and also bcs once i start i cant stop until im done, so its quite inconvenient if i have to study. So, yes. I read them. What were you reading yesterday??? (9)

Same!! I read fics everywhere. I don’t worry to much about my family knowing I’m reading, bc no one understands English. But I freak out every time I let my iPad with a fic opened, bc they can see Harry’s or Louis’ name and I don’t want them to know I’m reading about them,😅😅. I run out of fics to read sometimes! That’s how much I read, jajajja. They’re always part of my bedtime routine, jajajjajaa. And, well, I was reading a fic, I liked it a lot, but I checked the author and she’s a bit “questionable”, so… I’ll reserve my opinion, if you don’t mind. I read someone’s opinion on the fact that people write stories about Harry and Louis, but then they don’t think they’re gay (as in part of LGBT+ community), and believe Louis is a dad, and all the rest. And they said why that is wrong, bc they’re fetishizing gay relationships. And it made sense. And if a queer person (I don’t know if I can use that word, sorry) says that, I have to believe it, y'know. So, when I read a fic from an author I don’t know, I check their blog, just to see. And I saw that, so I won’t be sharing the fic, sorry (which is a pity, but… 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Yeah. It was totally predictable. I know know. But…he looked cute. Well rested. Happy. And we had been deprived for too long so it was a gift to see him again. Thats it for tonight. Sleep well😙 (10)

He always looks well rested after a few days with his boy,jajajaj. I can’t wait to see what the future has planed for him. And also, I’m so curious about this new LiLo thing 🤔🤔. What’s all about? They now tweet each other. Liam talks about him all the time… we’ll see, we’ll see.

Well, that was a productive morning shift, jajaja. I’ve been almost 4h writing this,jajajajaa. The whole morning! Now, I have to check everything is correct before I close to go for lunch,jajajja. Thank youuuu. Bye bye!!

Pd: waaaa, I almost forget about my limo (liam,jajja). Well, I was going to bed, but before it I looked out the window, and called him. I was calling for a good half an hour. And then a black cat appeared, and I thought hey! they are coming! Then another black and wait cat came. And I didn’t stop calling Liam. And HE CAME!!! He came to my window, where Honey and I were. And I told him to jump, but his so fat… jajajjaa. So I called at my house phone so my mom would go to open the backdoor, and I went out from the front door. And when I reached my window he was up there, but he couldn’t go in, bc I had closed it, so Honey wouldn’t go out. And he jumped and went to the back door to wait for my mom no open the door, and then he run and run till my room, jajajaj, to see if there was food in his bowl. And, just that. They I “bath” him. And gave him a pill to desparasitarle(?), and put him a collar para las pulgas? Jajaja. And then I feed him. He was exhausted and hungry. My poor boy. I don’t know why he keeps going ou, if he doesn’t like it,jejeje. Honey kept smelling him bc he smelled different, just FOR A DAY OUT!! (Jo, hablo TANTO!!!) Thanks for asking, love.

#anon #kjdfnfviubdfvubiugrfd #I talk a lot #hey have you listened IDGAF by Dua Lipa??? I love it!!

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flauntpage · 7 years ago

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Wayne Manor! Seven Takeaways from Flyers 3, Ducks 2

When the NHL schedule was released last summer, the Flyers’ first few games seemed daunting.

A four-game road trip to start the season, including the California three-step in four days.

It didn’t look promising.

Yet, here we are, at the end of the Golden State portion of the trip and the Flyers have earned four of a possible six points. No matter how you slice it, that’s impressive.

The latest came in Anaheim, in overtime, when Wayne Simmonds scored his fourth goal of the season, beating Ducks goalie John Gibson (who had a helluva game) low glove for the game-winner as the Flyers won 3-2.

It was a goal born out of hard work by both Simmonds and Sean Couturier, one that was indicative of the type of effort the Flyers have provided in the first three games this season.

There’s a lot to like about so far – there are still some concerns, and we’ll address them – but you can’t help but be satisfied with what the Flyers are giving you right now.

To the Takeaways��

(Wait… did the headline say there’s only seven? I thought you’ve been doing 10?)

Yep… you’re right. I went a little shorter with this one. Why? A Few reasons.

You’re likely reading this on an Eagles Sunday and need to shift your sports focus, or set your fantasy lineup, or both.

I don’t want to repeat myself too much by harping on the same issues – especially when there are so many games in such a short period of time. Besides, doubling down on an opinion without a chance to get some intel from the team – since, like you, I’m watching on T.V. – is not my M.O.

This is the third night in the last four that I’m staying awake far past my bedtime just to talk about hockey. I’m getting old and cranky and need more sleep than most people associated with this site. So, get off my case… and my lawn.

Acceptable? Good. Now, Takeaways:

1) Line Swap

Yeah, Simmonds scored the game-winner. We’ll get to that in No. 3. It may have determined the outcome of the game, but it wasn’t the biggest story. Not even close.

The big story was Nolan Patrick and the Flyers’ decision to swap him and Valtteri Filppula in the lineup, almost certainly after reading my recommendation to do so.

All kidding aside, this decision couldn’t have worked out better.

Patrick being paired with Travis Konecny is a Flyers fan’s utopia. Understandably so. Konecny creates more scoring chances than arguably anyone on the team on a per-shift basis. Patrick has a ton of skill and just needs to learn how to play in the NHL. In the not too distant future, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Oskar Lindblom replace Dale Weise as the left wing on that line.

Sure, there’s the possibility that the line gets a little swallowed up against a veteran-laden and deep team, but more often than not, these guys will get chances to create – and excite.

It didn’t take long Saturday. The duo had a 2-on-1 chance on their first shift of the game, and Patrick would have netted his first NHL goal against almost any goalie other than John Gibson, who made a great save:

Nolan Patrick's best chance for a goal is just short. Great effort by Konecny. http://pic.twitter.com/OfJeGxCISw

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) October 8, 2017

They had some other chances as well, and eventually, Patrick picked up his first NHL point, feeding Ivan Provorov for a goal just as a power play was expiring:

Brandon Wheat King (Nolan Patrick) to Brandon Wheat King (Ivan Provorov). That's also Patrick's first career NHL point. http://pic.twitter.com/tmXDODa6x4

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) October 8, 2017

Patrick and Provorov were teammates on the Brandon Wheat Kings and are good friends who have a lot of familiarity on the ice.

This goal did beg an interesting question:

What even is a Wheat King?

— Mike Cilly (@Mcil9518) October 8, 2017

I can honestly say, I spent far too much time after bar-closing time researching the history of this name and got very little. The Interwebs failed me. Brandon is known as “The Wheat City” so, there’s that. I guess, they are claiming to be the kings of wheat agriculture. Sounds good. They’ve been around for 80 years. Let’s just go with it.

Anyway…

Patrick and Konecny almost hooked up again later in the game as well, this time with Konecny on the receiving end of a pretty pass from Patrick (intended alliteration):

Patrick feeding it to Konecny late in regulation for a great chance again. 2-2 going into OT. http://pic.twitter.com/hh61Dkoly0

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) October 8, 2017

The point is… these two are going to be dynamic together and Hakstol did the right thing getting them together sooner rather than later.

But on the “Flip” side (see what I did there?)…

2) Filppula

Hakstol praised the work Filppula did in the middle on the second line, but aside from this one chance…

Filppula with a late chance. http://pic.twitter.com/y8UP1GCg8I

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) October 8, 2017

… I thought Filppula was underwhelming. That was his only shot attempted the entire game (and he’s on the top power play unit, too), he had a giveaway that could have resulted in something ugly (it didn’t), and he lost five of seven faceoff draws.

The other guys on the line were fine. Simmonds obviously scored the game-winner and got off five shot attempts. Jordan Weal had an assist and three shots on goal.

These three played together at the end of last season, so I’m sure they’ll figure it out as a trio, but this was not one for Filppula’s YouTube highlight reel.

3) This is the Sean Couturier We’ve Been Looking For

Quite Simply, Coots was the MVP of the game. Not sure who picked the three stars in Anaheim, but they should be fired.

When Hakstol made the move to put Claude Giroux on the wing and move Couturier to top-line center, this was what he imagined.

Couturier scored his first goal of the season on an absolutely gorgeous play:

Watch how this goal starts in the Flyers end and leads to the beautiful leave by Voracek to Couturier. http://pic.twitter.com/bmbAFIL0cv

— NBC Sports Philly (@NBCSPhilly) October 8, 2017

The outlet pass from Giroux to Voracek is just sick. Voracek’s deft little backhand pass to Couturier was a thing of beauty.

It prompted a text from a former co-worker of mine at the Flyers that read, “That’s one of the greatest goals I’ve seen involving all three forwards.”

While I might not go to that extreme, and recognize the excitement level of someone who works for the company might be a little elevated, I understood the wow factor. It was a pretty amazing goal. And Couturier scored because he didn’t have to think about it. Quite simply, he reacted. He’s a better scorer that way. When he has time, I think he tries to do too much. When he just lets his skill take over without much thought, you get goals like that.

But that wasn’t even his best play. This was:

.@Simmonds17 strikes again! This time, it's an OT-winner. #NHLFaceOff http://pic.twitter.com/irk6MHSsUE

— NHL (@NHL) October 8, 2017

The work along the wall. The ability to recognize the over-commitment on defense by the Ducks. The drop pass to Simmonds – it’s what the Flyers envision from their 24-year-old, top line center.

These are the kinds of performances by Couturier that are encouraging for Hakstol’s big move on the top line and it being remembered as a stroke of genius rather than a mad scientist experiment.

4) PEC-uh-O

After starting the season 3-for-3, the Flyers had gone 12 straight power plays over three games without a goal – and last night, they allowed their first shorthanded goal, which could have been incredibly deflating if they didn’t come out of it with two points:

Someone scored on a #Flyers power play. Except it was a player on the Ducks. http://pic.twitter.com/r1jPnYJ6fd

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) October 8, 2017

This was a bad pass, and it allowed Ducks defeseman Cam Fowler to get a breakaway the other way.

A lot of social media anger was directed at Brian Elliott, who many thought should have made a save here.

I look at it the other way. I give Fowler a ton of credit. A lost art in hockey is the mini-breakaway slap shot. It used to happen all the time. John LeClair made a career of it here. But now guys are more interested in showing off their dangle than firing a shot with authority.

Fowler went old school – and why not, when you have that much speed and momentum in your favor, it’s a smart play. It caught Elliott a little by surprise and it was spot-on accurate. Give credit to the shooter rather than chide the goalie.

This isn’t about Fowler– this is about the Flyers’ power play.

It should be noted that the Provorov goal came one second after the power play had expired, so it was basically a power play goal, even though it wasn’t officially credited as such. But the top unit still has issues. Specifically Giroux and Voracek continuing to fall into old habits. Gostisbehere is getting shots and Simmonds is doing his thing in front of the net, but I’m not sure where Filppula fits here, and honestly, is kind of the forgotten man if you watch the Flyers constantly pass around him.

The fact is, the Flyers are not a great 5-on-5 team in terms of scoring – they have four 5-on-5 goals so far, but one was on an absolute gift turnover in San Jose, one was an empty netter, and another was Provorov’s goal which came one tick after a power play expired. Only Couturier’s goal seems like a true 5-on-5 goal at this point. So if the 5-on-5 continues to struggle, the Flyers really need the power play to be even better.

5) MacDonald Part Deux

If I’m going to repeat a negative takeaway, I might as well repeat a positive one. Actually, I got someone else on Twitter to do it for me:

MacDonald has put in two really solid efforts the last 2 games. Provorov has had a few hiccups that AMac cleaned up in the early going

— JSaq (@jsaquella) October 8, 2017

A long season ahead of us guys, but I think you’re going to see more positive games out of MacDonald – even if you don’t want to admit that right now.

6) California Posers

I don’t want to dampen the 2-1 start, but the competition has been subpar.

First off, San Jose looks to be a shell of itself. And last night, Anaheim was missing five regulars–��Ryan Getzlaf, Ryan Kesler, Sami Vatanen, Hampus Lindholm and Patrick Eaves.

The schedule doesn’t get easier as the next five games include the defending Western Conference champion Nashville Predators (twice), Washington and Alex Ovechkin, who has seven goals in the team’s first two games, Florida, and then Edmonton with reigning MVP Connor McDavid.

After eight games will be a good point to take stock of this team.

7) Loose Pucks

Pretty uneven game for Voracek. His play on Couturier’s goal was awesome and he had a few other chances as well, but his bad pass led to Fowler’s goal and his bad play on a board battle led to a complete communication breakdown between him, Robert Hagg, Travis Sanheim and Giroux, allowing Antoine Vermette to be left alone with no one near him in front of the net. That can’t happen.

Antoine Vermette's 500th career NHL point ties the game at 1. Nobody covering him during 4-on-4 action. http://pic.twitter.com/qArZsNPpqv

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) October 8, 2017

That was Vermette’s 500th point in the NHL.

Speaking of milestones, Giroux’s assist on Couturier’s goal was No. 394, moving him to 4th place on the Flyers all-time list behind only Bobby Clarke, Brian Propp and Bill Barber.

Wayne Simmonds on the team’s ability to continue to dominate third periods, “I think we all feel great out there. We’re in good shape and we feel like we can skate all day.” This could be another underrated move by Hakstol – having them in peak condition right off the bat.

Um, Radko Gudas – What the…

WEEEEE!!!!! http://pic.twitter.com/orCsKYVhy7

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) October 8, 2017

And finally….

After Patrick’s pass to Provorov from behind the net, noted Brantford, Ontario native Keith Jones had this exchange with Jim Jackson and Chris Therien:

Jones: You know who else used to make passes from behind the net like that? Wayne Gretzky. Brantford Ontario’s own.

Jackson: Not surprisingly you were able to fit in your home town.

Jones: Yep, Gretzky and me. The Great One and the Other One.

Therien: You might not even be the Other One. How about Chris Gratton?

Jones: Fine. The Other Other One.

That’s good T.V.

Wayne Manor! Seven Takeaways from Flyers 3, Ducks 2 published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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