#not even because of the initial issue

[sevikellsss]

another rant in tags

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[one-in-a-million-fishsticks-blog]

So, lately I've been reading my way through some really good Castlevania fics on A03, and I have to say that while there exists a delicious selection of fix-its....

There is a definitive lack of time-travel fics where the Nocturne-era crew get sent back to 1400s Wallachia.

Imagine the insanity of that scenario? Maria, Richter, Annette, and Juste have never known anything quite as bad as the full power of Dracula's wrath. Even Ezrebet Bathory couldn't hold a candle to carnage and destruction on that scale.

Alucard is just having an all around awful time for obvious reasons, and then you have Trevor and Sypha. Trevor is just doing Trevor, getting drunk and trying to forget his grief when WHABAM!... More Belmonts, two other random hunters, and a super old dhampir with depression. He is not emotionally prepared for any of that, and neither are the others.

Sypha is just doing Sypha, trying to save the world and looking for the right crew to help her out with that. She has no idea what her presence (and Trevor's) mean to Alucard, just that she's found her Hunter and Soldier.

Trevor is immediately both protective of his newly materialized relatives and standoffish with them. He of course has no idea that they've time-traveled or that he's their ancestor, so while he sees Richter as "just a kid" and innocent of any wrongdoing, he holds some resentment towards Juste because his perspective is basically "Why didn't this surviving elder of the Belmont clan come to try and help me when I was alone as a child? Did he genuinely not know that I was alive or did he just not care?"

Richter really wants to say something and set the record straight, but Juste finds it easier to be loathed than to try explaining, so he keeps Richter quiet.

Maria is still just mourning her mother and trying to recover, so she mostly does her own thing while occasionally spending some time practicing magic alongside Sypha and Annette.

Annette isn't sure how to feel about this whole clusterfuck, but she's pretty sure that she hates it, and she definitely hates having to watch as people undergo even greater suffering around her.

Alucard is crying in the corner, he's so fucking exhausted but can't tell anybody because he needs to be strong for "the kids," Oh..... And also this version of Trevor still hates anything and everything night related, even him, so showing weakness just gets him mocked.

And there's Dracula coming in from the left with a steel chair!!!!!!! 😮 🪑

[haunted-xander]

MILI DROPPED ANOTHER BANGER WOOHOOOO Anyway it made me think of Nine so. yeah :)

+ as a bonus, the original sketch that I ended up completely scrapping bc the vibe didnt fit

[camgoloud]

he still has his tonsils. by the way if you even care

[pencilofawesomeness]

I was so caught up in the euphoria of making shit up, I forgot I wasn't uncontested. Wild that canon exists and is ongoing. Wild.

[amelikos]

Wondering about Amethio's family in comparison to Liko, Roy and Dot's families.

While there was some emotional distance implied in Liko's situation, she learned to speak her mind and convey her wants and thoughts, such as when she asked her father to allow her to keep traveling. She admires her parents for being passionate about what they love, and they don't intend to force a path on her since Liko is free to choose anything she wants to do (from Lucca's perspective, she didn't want to influence her daughter's choice so she kept some distance in HZ012).

Roy's parents currently aren't with him so there is physical distance in his case. But he shares warm memories of singing together with them while holding hands, and he is really close to his grandfather too (the second opening showed that he used to read stories with Roy). His family believes in him, and his grandfather also let Roy choose what he wanted to do and didn't oppose his decision to go on a journey.

Dot's relationship with her mother is a bit strained because of their clash in personalities, since Blanca is overbearing while Dot is more reserved. Though despite how pushy and overwhelming she could be, Blanca was proud of Dot for making friends and gave Dot her blessing when she asked to stay on the ship (she said she wasn't going to deny her heartfelt wish in HZ041).

We still have a lot to learn about Amethio's situation but his seems to be a stark contrast to the others'. He speaks about his father with an underlying layer of resentment in his words, so he rejects him on some level. I wonder if his situation is supposed to mirror Roy's a bit? Amethio doesn't seem to be in contact with his parents currently. I wonder if they had to leave because of work and potentially left him with Gibeon? Except he would have grown to resent them for some reason (or at the very least his father), and "took sides" and supports his grandfather. He follows Gibeon's footsteps, similarly to Liko, who follows on Diana's because that's what she wants to do (though Diana didn't expect her to, and she let Lucca pursue what she wanted to do as well). Amethio also seems to take great pride in following his grandfather and he is very loyal to him. Tbh I'm just curious about whatever is going on with his family and what the writers will do with it in comparison to the main trio.

[kariachi]

Just cannot forget that the show had a whole romantic subplot about Kevin being interested in Gwen but not up to making a move and just, never bothered with why. The issue at play was never actually addressed. Instead we just get a steady stream of Kevin not making a move despite his interest, while Gwen pushes him to make a move, and then Gwen finagles a move out of him and the show just, carries on like there was never something keeping him from making a proper move in the first place.

The closest we get is in the third season of AF, where we get a nice look at his mental health issues including some nasty self-worth issues, but even then the focus is less on 'wow Kevin is having A Time and this shows us some things about his character' and more as 'and here's how his response to his situation is affecting Gwen'.

Even in the fandom I've seen it treated more like a case of Kevin being whiny and selfish over nothing, like it didn't lead to him teaming up with Darkstar- something the heroes only ever do otherwise when in desperate need of help dealing with an actual and immediate threat to life.

Just, if you're going to base your drama around something, at least actually fucking resolve or acknowledge the cause of the issue, rather than just brushing it under the rug once you're bored with it.

[forcebookish]

it's not lost on me that top shoves mew against a wall and tries to kiss him but when mew stops him he backs off in the same episode that boston shoves top against a wall and gropes him but doesn't stop when top tells him to stop

seems to be lost on a lot of other people though😒

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

On the subject of gotham county line and batman noel and so on and so forth it’s pretty frustrating (from a watsonian pov) that anytime Bruce hallucinates Jason being loving/ caring/helpful/compassionate towards him it’s always as robin and never as his current self

[biopanik]

Guys god forbid you ingest complex media and realise that a well written character can be morally grey without needing to be mentally unstable. God forbid a character actually favours a legitimately awful cause and maintains their human side. You need to remember that you can't push your own morals on fiction. When it comes to flawed characters, they're meant to put you off. They're meant to challenge you. But at the same time they should be read as people, so that all of their aspects are taken into account.

Also may I just add that this energy is almost always directed towards female characters? I don't see y'all hating on male mobsters, male cops or male politicians? Is the idea of a morally grey woman or a deeply flawed woman that much of a novelty? Or does it just not fit your point of view when it comes to "acceptable flaws"? I don't remember seeing anyone hating on Roy Mustang for his war crimes, his enabling of stratocracy or his position. I don't remember seeing anyone complain about Lelouch or even Miguel - even if a good chunk of the content I did see had more to do with his tits. But when women become the subject of politics or expressing authoritarian/extremist positions, they're immediately slut-shamed(?) and dragged through the mud? Is a flawed woman only allowed her cruelty when she's obviously mentally ill?

yeah, this reeks.

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[arytha]

[ID from ALT: A digital drawing of my OC, Yuri, standing in front of a his wife's headstone. He is standing casually, with his back to the viewer and hand in his labcoat pocket. He is looking at the headstone with an expression of melancholy. The headstone is inscribed with his wife's name, Kyren Flauhaut, and underneath the grave is a splatter of red, reaching past Yuri's feet. End ID]

Visiting again. I never got the chance to miss you.

[the-busy-ghost]

Me normally: Let people love what they love

Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE

[smile-files]

i continue to find ii3 baffling. why did they make it (this isn't to hate on the season, i'm genuinely curious)

[brittlebutch]

finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it