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#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care
spotaus · 2 months
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
#spotatalk#i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like#quick summary is#Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i#<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair#Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed#Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay#<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation#and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy#-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it#Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky#Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied#-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care#<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward#Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away#<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a#little bit funny 🙏
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bailey-reaper · 3 years
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Hhhhh could you write a sequel to the hades fic???? it was SOO good!!!!!!
For Dear Life (Hades & Persephone AU)
Notes: (continued from here) Hello anon, I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed the Hades/Persephone fic! As I've said before, I love mythologies!
S/O is gender neutral (they/them pronouns). Barok refers to them using petnames.
Content Warnings: abducted / hostage situation; power imbalance; intense emotions; Tia seriously screws around with Greek mythology. Like really REALLY screws around...; I'm sorry historians (again!) and mythologists
It was impossible to say whether or not the underworld met their expectations, because such things were normally so abstract and not a subject they really thought of; so, to be suddenly confronted by the literal domain of the dead, was utterly mind-boggling.
All they really remembered, as the chariot dove deep into the bowels of the earth was the feeling of the God of the Underworld holding them close and partly shielding them with his long cloak of darkness. It had surprised them to hear a heart beating in the deity's chest – surely that was something of an oxymoron?
With a firm shake of their head, they quietly wondered why they were dwelling upon that precise detail; it seemed like such a trivial thing...
They had been escorted to a garden within the deity's palace: the plants were unusual colours and shapes, no doubt thanks to the lack of sunlight they enjoyed, but it was a soothing space nonetheless and one that helped their racing thoughts to calm. As they looked around and overhead, it struck them how easy it was to forget this was a subterranean domain given how high the vaulted cavernous ceilings were.
"It is a pleasant garden, is it not?" a familiar, but terrifying, voice remarked as the tall and imposing Lord of the Dead entered the space.
Instantly the feeling of calm abandoned them and they stood with a small yelp of shock, "........" even if they'd wanted to speak, it was as if their voice was stuck in their throat.
"...." the God's expression was momentarily odd, they might have taken it as him being wounded or even disappointed, before he cleared his throat and sat on a bench fashioned from black marble, ".... I have no intentions to harm you. It may be difficult to believe that, but it is the truth... won't you come here?" he held out a hand, "I have shown you a great deal of discourtesy thus far in failing to properly introduce myself... My rashness can only be attributed to the passion you make me feel. It is... very out of my usual character."
And it was, for the Lord of the Underworld was known among his brethren as a level-headed judge who maintained utmost composure at all times. In fact, they often described him as being 'cold as a corpse' and brutal when it came to matters of logic or strategy. Impulsiveness was an unknown concept in his mind, until now...
"...I... am fine here," they replied, settling back down in grass that appeared to be more peacock blue than green.
"... Very well," once more he wore that wounded expression, but the God seemed willing to respect their reluctance, "I am the God of the Underworld, I believe your kind call me 'Hades'."
"... Hades," yes -- that was what humans called the stern God beneath the earth, but it sounded to them as if that might not be his real name, "Is... that not your name, then?"
A smile graced and lifted his features for a moment, brightening them in an unexpected way, "You are as astute as I thought... that is correct: my 'true' name is not Hades, though, mortals may call me whatever they wish."
"Then... what is your real name?" this topic of conversation made them curious: where had the names of the Gods actually come from? Were they brought to the minds of men in a dream? Or did the Gods themselves provide false identities, if so then why?
"Mmm," he looked momentarily pensive, "That is a secret, for now... a God's true name holds great power. To entrust it to another is akin to making a vow."
Their eyes widened, "Oh... I... I see."
"You will forgive me if I do not offer up something so personal at this delicate juncture, I am aware that your presence here is entirely of my doing and that you are... unhappy about it. I will not keep it a secret any longer than I must."
"...." it made sense that a God would not trust a relative stranger with something that seemed to hold a great deal of power. They wanted to ask more about it: what did it mean to know a God's true name? What kind of 'vow' did it create? But, it seemed more prudent to leave the topic for now, "... Please won't you let me go home?" they asked, eyes pleading, "I am... flattered to have caught the eye of a God, but I am a mere mortal. I cannot see what lasting intrigue I would have to a divine being such as yourself."
The Lord of the Underworld tilted his head, "Do you think me a shallow man who saw your beautiful face and thought only of that?" he shook his head, "I appreciate that we Gods have a less than glowing image among mortals, and that we have a reputation for treating humans in a superficial manner, but, that is not why I have brought you here. I do not see you as some pretty trophy to keep until I tire of you. Though you are beautiful, yes, it is not simply your appearance that has captivated me so."
"What...?" for some reason his impassioned words made their heart thud in their chest; did he really meant to say that he, a God, had fallen in love with them?
"You possess a quality of character and strength of spirit that has quite simply dazzled me... I have watched you from afar, seen how you have helped your fellows and maintained your grace and resolve even in the face of adversity. I was blinded by more than just your looks."
They blinked a few times, going over his words again and again in muted silence. How could they respond to such a heartfelt answer? It was clear that the God of the Underworld was sincere, if nothing else-- but, this was too much to take in.
"... I'm sure it must come as a surprise to hear a God's confession, but I cannot yearn from afar any longer... that is why I have brought you here. So that I might marry you and take you for my spouse."
"This... it's... this is far more than a surprise... it's shocking. I'm a simple human, surely there are other Gods and Goddesses that are better suited to wed one such as you?"
The God chuckled, "Gods and Humans aren't so different you know... We're possessed of the same diversity of thought and feelings, the same irrational sensibilities and yearnings... it is not as if for every God there is a comparable divine partner. In fact, I find a number of my divine brethren to be a noisy, irksome lot and ill-suited to my temperament. I gladly opted to rule the Underworld for it lessens the time I have to spend with them."
".... huh?" suddenly, they couldn't help but giggle, "... Are you... saying that you view the Gods as annoying relatives?"
"...." he pursed his lips, "Well... they are."
"Oh... I had no idea... So, you came here willingly?" he nodded, "That's not what our books say: apparently you drew lots with your brothers and received the underworld having drawn the shortest straw."
"...?" he looked genuinely bemused by that account, "... I've... never heard something so ridiculous in all my life... drew lots? By the Gods, no. The last thing I would want is to rule the Gods and endure the constant politics of Mount Olympus. Truth be told, I have no idea how my brother manages it..."
Once more they were laughing, for the God of the Underworld --Hades himself-- looked utterly aghast, "Oh! But what about the sea then? Wouldn't you have preferred your brother Poseidon's domain?"
"First, Poseidon is not my brother, he was a 'brother-in-arms' who assisted me and my brother... second, the sea is not much better than Olympus given its relative proximity. I find that my brethren are far slower to make the trek down into the bowels of the earth than any other place."
"I... had no idea the Lord of the Underworld was so anti-social," they mused, smiling to themself having almost entirely lost their nervousness, "But... I suppose it makes some sense, given that your domain is that of the dead. Have you... always been like this?"
"Like what?" he cocked his head.
"... Disagreeable to spending time with other Gods."
"I suppose so," he folded his arms, as if trying to recall some divine equivalent of childhood, "There are so many irksome and tedious Gods in the world, I discovered that during the wars with the Titans."
"Oh... so those wars actually happened then? Our human books are right about that much at least?" he nodded, "So... are the myths about your brother, Zeus, true?"
"What myths about Zeus?"
"That he's the most terrible womaniser who forces himself upon anything that catches his eye?"
"What?!" he stood up, clearly flustered, "Who dares to tarnish my brother's name so?! He's not some philandering hedonist! He's a man of the utmost integrity and happily married! Not to mention his wife would punish him severely were he to hold such callous disregard for the mortals..." suddenly, he stopped his ranting and looked apologetic as he sat down, "... Forgive me, that outburst was uncalled for..."
"I'm... surprised," they said, "Because our myths suggest that you and Zeus do not get along... but you seem incredibly fond of him... oh... and what did you mean that Poseidon is not your brother? Aren't all the Gods related?"
"Of course I'm fond of him," the God said, "He's my brother... and as for your other questions.... what kind of inbred bedlam do you think the Gods live in? We are not begat as generations of mortals, we all issued forth from the black waters of Chaos..."
"But how are you and Zeus related if all Gods are not born?"
"I... was a weak little God when I emerged from the primordial darkness, in fact it was questionable whether or not I would survive. Zeus took pity on me, and shared with me his ichor.... that sustained me and breathed life into me. We are brothers who share the same blood, literally."
"Oh... wow... I had no idea..."
"Why would you? It is not as if we Gods are at pains to correct the fantasies that mortals dream up to explain the world around them," he folded his arms, "I'm... glad you seem a little less nervous in my presence."
"Ah..." they blinked, "Now that you mention it, I do feel a lot calmer."
"That's good... I hope, with time, that perhaps you will... take a liking to me."
"...." funnily enough, seeing more of the God's character had endeared him to them, "I... can't make any promises," they said, while looking down and smiling.
He seemed to pick up on that coyness, "Hmmm... that's better than an outright no. Now, I should like to show you my domain. Do you feel up to a chariot ride? I won't burst up from the earth this time and grab you..."
"In that case, yes."
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pendragonfics · 5 years
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the crown, it weighs heavy ('till it's banging on my eyelids)
Paring: Thranduil/Reader
Tags: Female reader, she/her pronouns for the reader, pre The Hobbit, set in Mirkwood, arranged marriage, healing, injury recovery, angst and hurt/comfort, fluff, romantic fluff, family dynamics
Summary: Sometimes, self-sacrifice affects those around you more than just yourself.
Word Count: 1825
Current Date: 2020-01-22
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While you were an accomplished warrior, you were also a queen, a mother by proxy, and a beloved wife. It was your fault; you hadn’t made the wisest of decisions, and that was an understatement. Impulsivity had always been a shortcoming of yours, but that Thranduil had seen it as a blessing. But it wasn’t a blessing this day. No. Your nature had led to cause you pain, and while as much as that it inflicted on those around you, only in the aftermath had it occurred to you.
“You would think, that after all the years I have lived,” you say, wincing through the waves of pain, “that I would know better.”
“It was a foolish endeavour, my Queen,” the healer commented. She looked at you curiously, perhaps wondering you had charged into battle like a common elven woman, rather than someone your station. “…but merited.”
There was little to be merited with the wounds that you now wore.
It was a wonder that the warriors had managed to salvage you from the carnage and transport you in such a manner to the healing you needed. All you remembered from the encounter with the Orcish skirmish was their formation, formidable and ferocious, and the smell of ichor upon the ground. Perhaps your memories were cut short out of the fear of it all, and while you wanted to know what creature gave you three slashes from a poisoned Orc axe, you had to admit that the thought of it was frightening.
Even with poppy milk, the pain was unbearable. The healer must have noticed your pain, and quietly, she motioned to someone you had not noticed, another healer, who held a similar bowl to the one you drank from before. No words were shared as they lowered the bowl to your lips, and drinking your fill once more, you felt your mind fall into a slumber.
One where the pain gained from the battle was not present.
---
You had always known when you were dreaming, even as a young elven maid. It’s how now, you know you are not awake. The meadow is brighter than any woodland area that you have stepped in, and there are no spiders in sight. It’s too good to be a truth universally acknowledged, and when your hand finds your side, the lack of pain confirms it.
Before you, laying on the forest floor, was your son.
He still remembered his true mother, the first queen, and could not find it in his heart to call you his mother, no matter what the marriage between his father and you asked of him. How the council could arrange such a match, no less than five hundred years after the loss of the first Queen of Mirkwood, made your stomach recoil. But you were an eligible elven maid of Lothlórien, and he was a King without a queen. The only reason you didn’t cut your elven locks and abscond to the world of Men was the rumours of the young prince, alone while his father kept the kingdom.
Quietly, you settle beside Legolas. He looks to you briefly. But sets his attention to the bow placed by his feet.
“I’m sorry I can’t give you a brother,” you whisper, soft.
“I don’t need a brother.” He says, fidgeting with his bow. “I need a mother.”
The meadow seems to grow as he speaks, and what was a small patch of greenery inside the forest has turned into a glade, metamorphosed into a secret garden full of delightful flora and fauna. You look over his shoulder and see rabbits bounding through, a family of skunks, and flying above, robins and fairywrens. But his gaze is on the rabbits, a fuzzy white one, still.
“War isn’t a game, Legolas,” you place a hand upon his shoulder, but he shrugs from your touch.
“Then why do you play games with your life?” he turns.
His face has changed. In fact, he is no longer Legolas. It would seem that he has transformed into his father, the man who you had learned to love after the arranged marriage. He has the same eyes as his son, and while Thranduil’s hair is ice white, a blonde to rival the stars, his sons’ was maturing, finer than straw. The shift caught you off guard and staring at your love, you felt the words grow cold in your mouth before you summoned breath to speak.
“I -,”
“You are dearer to me than you can ever comprehend…more than I can put words to. I cannot lose you, melissë.”
You reach for him, but the bow that was at Legolas’ feet is between you, growing, changing from a weapon to a ravine, dividing you from one another. You reach for him, but your side aches, and while one hand of yours stretches for your husband, your love, the other holds your aching abdomen.
It was a dream. It had to be a dream, as no life you had lived was so finicky in detail. But the pain in your side, the red that stained your hand as it withdrew…it made you wonder what a dream was, and what was real to you.
“Thranduil!”
---
When you wake, you are not in the Healer’s room. There is little light in the room, you find as your eyes adjust, but the window is ajar, and the moonlight’s silvery-grey touch spills over the sill and upon the floor beside where you lay. Your heart is still racing from the dream, you know now that it was but a dream, but the pain in your side was not imagined. You had gone onto the battlefield, and slain monsters and Orcs alike to protect what you loved.
And despite the pain you were in, you’d do it all over again.
“The moon is the brightest tonight, as are the stars,” a familiar voice spoke.
Turning your head, you saw him. Ever the dramatic man, he sat in his best robes in the dimmest side of the room, his perch beside the bed close enough for your eyes to see the tiredness on his face, but too far for your arm to reach for his. But despite this, you reached for your husband’s hand, and he took it in his. Slowly, he threaded his fingers through your own.
“You are missing out on the festival,” you whisper.
“There wouldn’t be a festival if it weren’t for you,” he replies. “and I am ever grateful for you.”
You sigh. “I’d do it again, always for you. But…” you look to the cot you are confined to, “what a price to pay to save the life of the man that I love.”
He undoes his grasp then, moving from the chair he sat in. King Thranduil was as beautiful now as he was the day you married him, and the day you fell in love with him. But there is something behind his eyes that makes you reconsider your words, now that they have left your mouth.
“I…I have done wrong,” you whisper.
“You could have died!” he chastises.
He turns to the window and places his gaze beyond the room you both inhabit. You watch as the movement causes his robes to float around his legs, his pace now as slow as a tree, rooted to the earth where he now stands. The moonlight climbs the material, and as glittering as it is, it is magnified, and you can see thousands of refractions from every single strand of gilded thread.
“I -,” you stammer, “You could have died, husband, my Lórien!” you muster the strength, but once again, you feel powerless as soon as you speak. “You are a ruler, and I did my duty. The woodland would not be as it is, without you!”
“I could never live with myself if you died,” he whispers. At the moment when you spoke, you hadn’t realised that he had returned to his seat beside the bed, and the change in tone sends a chill through your spine in shock. While you know that fact, hearing it from the man that you had grown to love affirms it, makes it real. “I barely survived after…after her, but the Gods are kind today, and - you are here.”
Instead of reaching for your husband’s hand, you lean upward, as if to leave the cot. He recoils, but when you reach behind yourself - and odd sight, a Queen fluffing her own pillows - Thranduil watches as you, now half-sitting up, regard him. Your eyes are at a similar height, and now equal, you smile to him.
“I am not done with you, or Legolas yet, my love.” You say. “The Gods cannot claim me yet, no matter how hard they try.”
“You are truly a formidable woman.” He smirks, the pain has gone from his face in brief. Slowly, he leans his face toward you, but before he can come to you the rest of the way, you reach for the front of his robes and close the distance between the pair of your lips. “…ah, melinyel.”
---
By the next festival of light, you are healed enough to train once more, but when the Healers tell you this, you decline the offers from the guard to re-learn to fight. There is no commotion or change in the way that you are perceived. Before becoming the Queen of Mirkwood, you weren’t a titled elven woman. Your blood, that of Galadriel’s heritage, had gotten you only so far in life, and in order to go ahead in life, you had to fight.
“I would ask why you rescinded the offer to rehabilitate yourself with your blade, but I feel as if I already know the answer,” Thranduil commented, looking toward you with a sly look in his eye. These days, he had brightened up, become more open toward you with his feelings. Perhaps all it had taken was the flesh wound you sustained, or the realisation of mortality to himself and you, immortal beings.
“Do continue,” you say.
Legolas runs ahead of you, playing with an elf he had made friends with. Her red hair glints in the sunlight like fire, and he is like ice, but they play as if they are forged from the same kiln. Beside you, Thranduil has your arm linked in his, and while you are healed from the injury, he is always mindful of the lingering pain that acts as if a ghost beneath your skin.
“You are…content,” he says, finally. Kissing your cheek, your jaw, your earlobe, he continues, “I am not suggesting you were not before, but now, there is a comfortability in your life here. I see it in your eyes, you are, dare I say, happy?”
“Oh, Thranduil…that’s almost word-for-word from my writings,” you beam, kissing his cheek.
“But I am correct, yes?” he asks.
“Don’t ever change, my true melissë.”
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clansayeed · 4 years
Text
Bound by Choice ― II.ii. Behold, the Dawn
PAIRING: OC x OC x OC (Valdas x Isseya x Cynbel) RATING: Mature (reader discretion advised)
⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽
⥼ Bound by Choice ⥽
Before there were Clans and Councils, before the fate of the world rested in certain hands, before the rise and fall of a Shadow King ― there was the Trinity. Three souls intertwined in the early hands of the universe who came to define the concept of eternity together. Because that was how they began and how they hoped to end; together. For over 2,000 years Valdas, Cynbel, and Isseya have walked through histories both mortal and supernatural. But in the early years of the 20th century something happened―something terrible. Their story has a beginning, and this is the end.
Bound by Choice and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series. Find out more [HERE].
Note: Choice is the only book in the series not based on an existing Choices story. It is set in the Bloodbound universe and features many canon characters.
*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Choice/series tag list!
⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽
The armies of the faithful purge the catacombs with fire. Serafine uses that light to discover the darkness hidden at the heart of their community.
[READ IT ON AO3]
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This the chaotic dance with which he is all too familiar. This the slaughter of his kind — his kind, but not his people. They will never be his people. This the bloodshed that has consumed him, fueled him, ignited the flames of war at his heels ever since the Crusades.
All around him motions of life, motions of death; that he cannot even stand the briefest moment to appreciate the beauty of it is beautiful in itself.
Behind him; rusted metal coiling tight, creaking wood struggling to hold together, the sheen of sharpened blades scraping against one another as the bolt is drawn—loaded—fired.
Cynbel waits until the last possible second to catch the bolt before it sinks home in his heart. He would kiss it for luck had he the inkling — but he doesn’t need luck.
Metal-tipped crossbow bolts; fashioned tough and as tempestuous as to whom they belong. Designed to puncture even the finest of armors — meant for the enemy.
Because he wants to savor in the first of his victories for the night Cynbel makes sure to rip off the breastplate first. Casts it aside no better than maiden’s veils in what good it does the knight; in how effective it is in stopping his adversary from spearing him through with his own weapon.
The helmet goes next. Young eyes wide in panic and young lips stained with blood and spittle yet he feels nothing for this child on the cusp of manhood. Why would he? The butcher does not feel for his supper.
Cynbel smears his tongue flat and wet across the young man’s chin. Tastes the salt and fear in his blood brimming near to a boil and it makes him hard.
Though most of it is wasted — spills on flagstones beside the slick shine of oil. The color, though, is a welcome accent on his damned finery.
Victory runs red along his teeth and he pulls his hand free from the bled meat. Lets him collapse to the floor to join his blood. Unlikely that he’ll live unless the Knights have discovered a miraculous way to shove ones organs back inside their bellies.
But they are only as fun as they are alive. So he moves on to the next. The crossbow yields, splinters apart underfoot.
A high-pitched cry sounds to his right — Cynbel turns just in time to see the youngling from earlier, Marcel, launch himself with bared fangs and eyes that match the blood staining his coat at another Knight.
The Knight braces for a light impact, perhaps even to catch him mid-flight. But what collides is much heavier than they anticipated and the pair go flying across the ballroom.
The chaos is stifling. The smoke clinging to the Gothic ceilings is, too. A sign of fires raging somewhere in the distance and, knowing the Holy Knights, growing closer. Meant not to choke them but to burn them alive; to trap them in with the rest of the dead here.
Beautiful, rapturous carnage.
And it means nothing without them at his side.
Cynbel doesn’t have to call for them — his heart leads him bound and chained to where it belongs. To his lovers; to the reason all this has come to pass.
To Isseya — who rips a head clean from its neck helmet and all. Who stands in perfection among a growing pile of bodies of the dead and dying without a stain on her.
To Valdas — the thrill of the hunt ignited like the burning catacombs despite all of his past protests. Whose nails and frilled sleeves drip ichor where two hearts beat their last in his unyielding clutches.
The distance between them all ceases to exist when the Trinity look up — when they find one another in the fray. Fascinating; how the look of a lover can bend the very laws of reality like that.
As glorious as they look naked, he’s starting to prefer them drenched in the blood of their enemies. As if he didn’t already.
But any hope of union is quickly dashed at the echo of battle cries on hollow bones. As many Knights as have already been dealt with there are more on the way. More than he accounted for — but hindsight meant nothing to the dead.
Masques scatter the floor, the ashes of their owners kicked up in the frenzy. Cling to boot heels and skirt hems and catch on their tongues. The last wish of the fallen to be carried with the victors into battle.
No rest for the wicked — a new wave of clanging iron erupts and Knights pour in from all sides. Faceless foot soldiers frantic for fame. For the glory that comes with their oh-so-noble purpose of ridding the world of vampire kind one by one.
The Holy Sacred Knights of the Rising Dawn have come ready for war.
And war they shall receive.
Isseya dances aside, the breeze of a blade missing her just so. And hellion that she is the vampiress grabs the sword by the opposite end and wrenches it from its owner’s grasp — returns it to them generously and all the way to the hilt.
She kicks the fleshy sheath astray, shouts “Cynbel!” with barely restrained delight, and tosses him the weapon. Caught with the ease of a master of both the blade and her love given with it.
He decapitates the nearest Knight with his back turned.
It is a dance the guests know as well as—if not better than—the Prestige Waltz. One that consumed many of their mortal lives — and their mortality with it. And one that follows them now in death. With the collective experience and knowledge of the battlefield in this room alone how could the Knights even imagine victory?
“Seal the West! Let none flee!”
There was fleeing? Who would be foolish enough to flee from such decadent bloodshed?
Only when the words finally ring in his ears as more than another wail of death does Cynbel turn and see a huddle of vampires being led to safety by none other than Serafine herself.
Though blood has saturated the oil spilled it still ignites when a Knight tosses their torch to the ground. A towering blaze alighted that races in winding tendrils from one end of the hall to the other and claims two of the doorways.
He can feel the heat licking at his skin even from a distance. Watches the cries of shock, anguish; agony when those unfortunate souls trapped in the midst of escape are consumed in the threshold. The rest forced back.
Well that’s a new development.
By the time they realize the Knights plan to corral them inside the ballroom like a tomb it’s too late. It’s already happening.
Serafine directs those left to staunch the flames as best they can. Capes and cloaks and skirts torn carelessly to smother what they can. But that leaves them open — vulnerable. Three felled by one Knight alone in a cloud of ash.
And with no time to savor the victory; not when the Godmaker tears the human in two with his bare hands.
“Monsters! All of you!”
The sight is stunning enough to still Cynbel, momentarily taken aback, before a crack and the clatter of armor sends him staggering backwards to avoid being toppled by the dead Knight.
Valdas, glare now too close for comfort; something that makes him feel like a scolded child, joins him in standing over the fresh corpse.
“You seem to have underestimated your adversary, darling.” Says his god through gritted teeth.
“What,” so cocky, so certain, “not having any fun?”
He knows the anger is not for those who have been lost but for the overwhelming number surrounding them. For two of their exits blocked by fire and their chances of escaping before the fight is done now all but dashed.
With a grunt Valdas pulls them together; the kiss as nourishing as it is reassuring. Tongues tangled, tasting the blood of their enemies in each other’s mouths until only pleasure is left.
“I forbid you from dying tonight. Forbid you from denying me the satisfaction of punishing you for your arrogance.”
Oh the things that voice does to him. “Yes, divine one.”
“You choose now to fuck, of all times?!”
Both heads turn as Isseya spits a chunk of the enemy’s throat to her feet. Cynbel erupts in laughter, staggers when Valdas pushes him back and has to quickly gain balance before he trips over another body.
“Jealousy does not match your dress, beloved!”
“Nor desperation, yours!”
Even in the fray she is as sharp of tongue as she is of wit. In times like this it feels like the old days; where bloodshed and war are as common as regalia and waltzes.
Easier, then, to forget that they are not alone.
“We must retreat!”
“One step back, Westbrook, and I will take your head myself.”
“My love…”
“I will not abandon our people!”
A trio of their own; the Godmaker, his Bloodqueen, and the soldier. That they could even consider retreating in the middle of all this sours the blood on Cynbel’s tongue. But even he would be fool to deny this… this is more than he expected from the Knights.
Perhaps he may have miscalculated a bit.
“Gaius, mon cher! Everyone! Allez, viens!”
The sacrifices of the lessers have not been in vain. Flames staunched by cloak and foot, Serafine calls from the blackened doorway with soot in dark stains across her face and blood dripping from her red lips — the body fresh at her feet still twitching in vain.
A hand closes tight around his upper arm, makes Cynbel look back to see the stern face of his Maker resolute.
“If we run now, they win! This could all have been for nothing!”
“If we stay, it surely will be.”
But the decision is already made for him as Isseya speeds to their side and takes each of them in bloody hands. The look she gives him nothing less than frustrated desperation.
The memories it brings back haunt him still; nightmares like reliving the terrible past over and over again.
Ash grinds like glass against their foreheads come together; tastes harsh on her lips in the bruising intensity of her kiss. “You cannot control everything,” she echoes, far more important now than in the innocence of mere hours ago, “but you can control this.”
This. Their escape.
“Rragh!” He whips the sword in hand with blind fury. Watches it lodge itself in the stone and sink deep.
They comfort him because they know his choice. They know him; his mind for strategy, his acute sense for war. And they know he would never risk their lives for the sake of his war.
They already have him spirited away from the center of the carnage by the time he realizes his feet are moving.
A look back—only the bodies of the enemy remain before they, too, are consumed too bright in fire. Flames leaping from table to table, catching on long tapestries woven in recognition of a victory they assumed with naivete.
The ashes of their fallen mingle with burned wood. He watches until he can no longer; sees the dark shapes of those still left to pursue them begin to amass at the other end of the hall.
His victory — gone up in flames.
“We can lose them in the labyrinth!” cries Serafine from up ahead, where the voices of the desperate meet her; their shepherd.
They will have to. The rattling sound of armor-clad footsteps grows louder with every wasted moment. The acrid smell of burning oil curls his lips back.
Even in the flames Cynbel had nothing to fear. Not with his beloveds in his eye and at his side. But when the chaos becomes too much, when he feels their hands slip from his grasp, fear takes her opportunity and slips into the dual voids left behind.
No. No no nonono—
“Valdas! Valdas! Isseya!”
“Cynbel?!”
“Cynbel!”
The threat of breaking his neck — head whipping back and forth to see them hoarded down different passages — means nothing. Let it snap. Let him pass through this terrible loss unconscious; unaware.
Bring them back to him. Bring them back!
His height; a blessing and a curse — keeps them in his sights but he can do nothing through the throng of panicking survivors as they are each pushed in different directions. As they become just another movement in the mass of darkness.
Smoke burns at his eyes but he keeps them open for as long as he can. Knows the tears are not for his own pain but for the pain that comes when the cord that keeps them as one strains, frays, and threatens to snap.
“—sieur! Monsieur!”
High-pitched panic breaks through the thundering of his three hearts. Draws Cynbel down with a small pale hand to the face of a cherubim’s devil.
“Monsieur!” The child Marcel cries again, this time it works to bring him from his own pit of despair.
They are not dead yet.
“I cannot find him!” he wails, “I cannot find Banner!”
“Wh-Who?”
Tear-tracks break through the soot on his round cheeks and really, really he does not have the time for this. Yet as he looks around they are nearly alone — left behind in his panic to rip himself in two and carry each part of him to where his lovers now wander.
They will endure. They have always endured.
And should his pride, his hubris be the reason they are taken from him in this life then he would not hesitate to seek them swiftly in the next.
“Marcel, petit!” A familiar voice calls from the other end of the skull-lined corridor; turns both heads to where Serafine beckons them from around the curved path.
At the sight of her the young vampire’s eyes alight, a cry of “Serafine!” leaving wet on his lips as he rushes to her. Tugs Cynbel along with.
There is no ignoring the suspicion that clouds the woman’s face when they meet. Darkness in her eyes, on the downturn of her lips where blood dries and flakes around her mouth.
He doesn’t have to ask what makes her so. Their brief moments leading up to the climax of the night still hanging, unfinished, between them over the child’s head.
A thousand questions, accusations unspoken. Pushed aside by the urgency of the hour.
“They mean to seal us off in the crypts. We must find a place to surface.”
“Banner—Kamilah—Serafine I cannot find them!”
She gently pries his grip from her skirts and cradles the boy’s cheeks. “No doubt Gaius protects them both, petit. Come, we must go now.”
Were the boy not between them Cynbel isn’t certain Serafine would not have left him behind. Yet with both of their hands in his he now leads the charge with fervor.
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The farther they run from the grand hall the less they should smell the blood and smoke. Or so reason would dictate.
But this is not a reasonable time for anyone trapped beneath Paris; alive or undead.
With every turn the smoke chokes them harder; grows blacker and more like a disease than the omens before it. The gaping eyes of the skulls that witness their escape seem to bear down on them larger and larger with every step. We see you, they say, we welcome you — whether you want it or not.
But this—this flight of theirs—goes against his very nature. He can only succumb to it for so long. And when they catch sight of gleaming silver armor at the end of the corridor, when Serafine pushes Marcel behind her with a cry for him to double back, to change their direction, it is no longer a nature he can deny.
“Go,” he snarls, and does not rush to meet them, “get him to safety. Yourself, as well.”
“As much as I am growing to desire your true death…”
“Sorry to disappoint.”
“Martyrdom does not suit you, Monsieur D’or.”
“I find too much pleasure in survival to be a suitable martyr.” He throws a look back her way; sees the resisted smile on her lips. Offers up one of his own…
“Go.”
They both know he hears the falter in her footsteps at the end of the passage. The rustle of her skirts as she turns to watch the collision between them. But there is no savoring this victory without them at his side — he can’t imagine even the thought of it.
The way he tears into them is animal. Cracks and crumbles the skeletal walls and leaves their bodies to rot, decay, and soon bloom new skulls to join them. Save the one he takes in hand and crushes with a wet noise between his palms.
What did she expect to see?
“You tackle them as one with experience.”
He blows a strand of hair from his eyes. “Mademoiselle, may you learn this lesson soon; experience is the only thing that separates the likes of us from those already dead.”
But even as he shoves her back the way they had come, he can feel the burn of her gaze. “The Knights and I have tangled before, yes. Their order changes names, locations, ranks; but they are always the same. Always with the same holy doctrine.”
He follows her turn — the scent of their companion caught but waning fast.
“The eradication of our kind.”
“Most ardently. Their resources are vast, those who line their coffers may not even know to what end their gold meets. I assume you know of the oh-so-charming King Coppernose.”
Serafine’s eyes widen. “Truly?”
“There was a reason he chose such a… publicly gruesome execution for dear Queen Boleyn.”
His left hand closes tight on instinct. Craven for the beloved that is not there. But just because he cannot see Isseya does not mean she is back beneath the sword. And only because it is here — only because she has seen his weakness firsthand, Cynbel allows himself a shuddering exhale. “The influence of the Knights at the height of their control of England. Though his death led to a division of funds and they turned their sights to Spain shortly after.”
Weak are they who gossip like follies in the midst of the chase. The silence that follows stretches out — but only their rustling footsteps fill their ears.
“You speak as if they have come close to —”
“Once —” —the acrid air burns through his nostrils; pain a startlingly useful motivator— “— and never again.”
With as much as humanity has changed in the past centuries it’s not unlikely someone of the Lady Dupont’s age has come across their persistent enemies. Maybe not in name, maybe not en masse, but somewhere along the line surely.
Cynbel, however, refuses to lie in wait for their inevitable collision. He seeks them out; has done to the protests of his beloveds for decades now. In England — now here in Paris.
“I would hardly be surprised if there was not an alliance among them—those feeble rulers. They’re so easily frightened of anything that might protest their power. Power they claim is theirs by divine right — the arrogance…
“And our very nature calls that divinity into question, does it not?” He waits for an answer but none comes. Fine with him. Valdas and Isseya — they’ve grown bored with his constant complaints of the Knights and their machinations. Fresh ears to help pass the time.
“And in that fear… came the numbers to bolster their forces. Masses desperate for something to believe in. For answers to reach out to them; a light in their dark, pitiful years.”
“A congregation for your sermon then…” she mutters under her breath, but luckily such things are easily ignored.
“What we lack in numbers our kind makes up for in strength. You saw the ballroom — you partook in it! Glorious battle, victory against the multitudes of dispensable faithful.”
“What victory is there in the losses we suffered?”
“No doubt their losses were far greater in number.”
“So callous, your regard for life.”
“Why would I care about a few meager vampires?” Cynbel’s grin is wry. “Especially those who were so easily struck down.”
The shape and breath of their masques meant nothing. They were always insignificant. Would always be so. Extinguished wicks in comparison to the holy flames of his god and beloved.
Serafine; only under his protection for the consequences possible. Proving herself less and less the more she fixates on the means rather than the end.
“I just don’t understand how they could have known…” says she eventually, and he sees the way the wheel turns in her mind even through the darkness of the smoke. “Do you think the Knights have one of our own held imprisoned?”
“Does it matter?”
“How else can we ensure this never happens again?”
“We leave as many bodies as we can. That tends to send a message.”
“Even to those as vengeful as the Knights?”
Cynbel doesn’t answer right away. A grave mistake on his part — one that skids Serafine to a halt. He continues—stops only because she is obviously familiar with Kamilah, because the Godmaker might find some way to punish his lovers should she perish.
“Unless your intention is to turn back and clear the rest of the righteous horde I suggest we keep moving.” Regarding the now soot-stained skulls near the ceiling with disdain; “Who knows how many of these passages have been sealed off — they’re learning.”
But she and he are of a similar ilk; Turned in those years when doing so was a rare honor, not the desperate means of procreation it had become. Such power did not underestimate easily, surely. One look at the blazing wit behind her eyes and he, too, would have been taken with the mere potential of her.
In another life perhaps.
“I am well-versed in the depths of the depravity of Les Trois Amants… but this…”
Which makes him have to choke back gagging on the guilt she tries to push at him in torrents. How could he do anything else? How could he have thought she would understand?
“Is now really the moment for this?”
“No — and the fault lies with you for it.”
“Your point?”
Her eyes widen. “Those dead — and those yet to die — they were unnecessary.”
“War is not war without casualty.”
“This so-called war is none but your o—!”
Her words end in breathless lungs and chipped bone fragments falling and catching in the finer embellishments of her dress. Such things tend to happen when one is shoved against a wall.
Fury brims forth — Cynbel’s strength holds her firm but there is no denying the tension coiling in the muscles of a huntress.
The crossbow bolt hisses through the smoggy air and sinks home in a different kind of dead; straight through the eye socket. Were he not facing her he isn’t sure he would have seen it coming, seen the glint of light reflecting on dirtied armor.
Utterly silent — but how?
Wordlessly the vampires agree for a stalemate in favor of their mutual enemies. They charge like a wall, crossbows cast aside for close-range swords and daggers. Yet they are fools — children playing with toys. Their feeble minds unable to comprehend the sheer number of years between their foes combined… how small they are in the grand design.
Their fall is nothing like their arrival. Noisy and impossible to ignore how they pile upon one another in the corridor’s confines. The dirt beneath their feet has seen too much blood already and refuses to take more; splatters their heels as the vampires continue their flight.
It is not enough to discuss war lest one forget the war never ends.
At the end of the passage they come upon a metal rod dug and rooted into the ground. A lantern hangs from a rusted hook; the candle inside dim and near close to consuming itself — no wick left to sustain it.
He watches as Serafine unlatches the lantern with interest. Sees the silent words on her lips as she runs her fingertips over the waxy bottom until they find whatever she was looking for. A set of grooves dug into the metal.
“Rue de la Mortellerie,” she says finally, as though it’s supposed to mean something to him, but her relief is explanation enough; “up ahead — no more than a hundred paces. Enfin, la liberté…”
Yet even with the tears brimming in her eyes—relief given form—there’s no mistaking the way she looks Cynbel up and down. Saving her life has, apparently, meant nothing. Thoughts once thought cannot be removed from the mind.
And were he in her position, were the tables turned and it was he mere strides from freedom with a dead weight behind…
No; there’s no question. He would strike her down without a second thought.
But perhaps he is lucky the lady is not as selfish as himself. That she waves him to follow with a rasped “Allez!” and gathers her skirts with dried blood flaking from underneath her nails and leads the way to freedom.
The least he can do is take the first steps from the lowly chapel basement into the freedom of the night to ensure the Knights aren’t there to meet them.
But the streets of Paris still slumber, still dream. When a noise sounds distant he stills, blends himself into the shadows and watches the lumbering journey of a mule and her master none the wiser that the world is burning beneath their very feet.
Cynbel ducks his head back inside. “All is clear.” And watches her as Serafine takes great care in sealing the entrance to their secret court with an entire coffin as guise.
As far as he is concerned their alliance ends there. Is already well into the fresh night, getting his bearings on the unfamiliar part of town she has led him to when she notices he no longer stands at her back.
“Arrêtez!”
Her cry stills him though likely not as she intends. His eyes flicking this way and that to reassure himself they are still alone.
“Louder, perhaps,” he snarls low, “I fear the remaining Knights may not have heard you, since you mean to lead them to us!”
“Such is not an unreasonable course of action, as I am quickly beginning to learn.”
If her intention is to get his full attention—it works. “What did you just say to me?”
“I am no fool.”
“A fool’s proclamation.”
“Remorseless even now…” He would be lying if he said this was the first time he has been looked upon with such disgust as Serafine does now. It drips from her every word, from the blood that stains her chin. “But you said so yourself. You take this as a victory — even in the wake of all that has been lost.”
The river must be close, he can hear the lapping of the current against the banks. Foul and putrid as ever but with it, faint but very much there, the smell of burning flesh.
Likely it will cling to Paris; her streets, her people, her dead, for years to come.
With a single step Cynbel crosses the distance he had tried to put between them. Cups her face in broad hands and tilts her up to the light of the nearest lantern. Beautiful now even more than below; the blood-red dress splattered on her cheeks and throat… lingering in her eyes…
“Let us dispense with these games Mademoiselle Dupont,” he croons close, breathes against her lips with a lover’s intimacy, “I abhor them so. I see it there—you think it hidden in your eyes but not as well as you would hope.
“You have a question as I have an answer. But… you cannot have one without the other.”
The same performance on a different stage. Still surrounded by the dead as they were in the crypts like no time had passed. Fulfilling, almost.
And with the knowledge that should she even attempt to wrench herself away the woman would only succeed in snapping her own neck.
But her hesitation is an insult. Cynbel tightens his hold; feels the scraping grind of her jawbones together like music to his ears.
“Paris is my home, my love; my life. Were the ranks of the faithful closing in on our people… I—I would have known.” Though it sounds awfully like she’s trying to remind herself rather than tell him. “I would have known if the Knights knew of the catacombs. I would have known.”
“Apparently not.”
“You brought them down upon us.”
“I did.”
“Upon your own kind.”
“A debate of philosophy for another time.”
And when she finally—finally—asks it is broken, strangled. The strength of her swept out in a single tear rolling down her cheek.
“Why?”
“Because he loves us as much as we love him.”
Serafine takes advantage of his immediate relief; pulls herself free. Maybe even means to flee, to find other survivors and maybe even the Godmaker himself to announce his deeds with violent condemnation.
But however fast she is Isseya is faster. Strikes down their hostess with the back of her hand and rides the high of conquest (that he gave her, though he doesn’t expect to hear thanks any time soon) with a well-placed foot.
Crack. Her lower leg shatters within. Her screams fill the air loud enough to wake — well, the dead.
Cynbel’s eyes flutter shut when he feels the familiar permanence at his back. Turns his head unbidden and offers his neck into the vice of Valdas’ grasp. Feels the familiar shape of Isseya’s body molding against his side and feels complete with it.
Serafine looks up at them through grit fangs and bloody spittle. Her eyes a torch ablaze on a stormy night; the passion—rage—fierce but flickering near-dead.
“You risked…” blood dribbling down her chin, “all our lives… Lives you do not know—the very existence of our kind here…”
“True enough.”
Everything — every death a debt paid, every fight a test — was worth it. For this.
For them.
“But your lives are a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”
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illegiblewords · 5 years
Text
Eclipse
Nabriales cannot sense aether to the degree that his Unsundered brethren can. It is but one of the many ways he falls short.
He tried to convince himself, for a time, that he’d been happy before his reminder. Before being raised back to the grace of Lord Zodiark. Being made aware of all that was missing.
A phantom pain he hadn’t been conscious of previously. The realization in hindsight not only that something was lost but the shape it should have held. Senses stolen. A limb severed.
The heart that has yet to beat again.
He aches every day to feel, to move the pieces of him that are absent. And in their absence his early memories have grown hollow and bitter.
A fool’s life.
He cannot see or speak to sundered beings like they matter. Like they share anything in kind. They are only what he once was, what he has learned to despise.
No, he cannot sense aether as the Unsundered can.
But Nabriales knows to pay attention, to snap at opportunity like the dog they consider him. To hunt, to be silent, and to strike.
***
When Lahabrea falls into their shelter on the shores of the Lifestream, Nabriales hears him. Starless skies and gray, barren earth. A horizon that seems to stretch in all directions.
He goes. He offers no aid and keeps his presence hidden.
Emet-Selch may yet sleep, oblivious. As is his wont. Still, if one such as he heard then it is only a matter of time before the Emissary arrives.
And oh, how Lahabrea suffers while he waits. It is clear to see the places light has shorn holes through his aether. Were he any weaker it would not matter that he remains unbroken—he’d have shattered just the same. Ascians may cast no shadows but my, do they bleed from the Speaker now.
Lahabrea does not stir to raise himself. From the way his essence flickers on occasion—fast and frantic and straining beyond itself—Nabriales presumes he fades into awareness at points. Then it subsides, and the darkness slips a little farther, and the wounds gape for its absence.
An ordeal in scant more than a few minutes, but then time does stretch for those in misery.
***
They tried, in the beginning, to explain. The three who’d escaped Hydaelyn unscathed. Amaurot the beautiful, Amaurot the dead. Their failed, fallen city. What must come to breathe again at any cost.
Privately, Nabriales could not give a damn. How should he? These were empty words and abstract notions. Zodiark, on the other hand, showed sympathy for how his own soul had been butchered. Revealed the glory he had been, once, and should become again. The disfigurement of the world itself.
Zodiark wanted to help them. Zodiark wanted to raise them in glory.
The Unsundered wanted lackeys.
This had been clear from the start, in the division between their ranks. Elite Ascians would lean on one another, confide in one another. Shield weaknesses and mistakes from sight. To those below they delivered orders and listened patiently without so much as an onze of trust. Igeyorhm, certain now that her own misstep was caused by a fractured soul, guaranteed as much.
For each of his own successes, Nabriales burns with the knowledge that his natural form would be many times as great. That he has been dulled and diminished. The irreverence he receives is nothing he can correct in this iteration.
And so he obeys not for them, but the one true god.
***
Elidibus steps from a plume like tar, the white of his robes an insult to their surroundings.
His attention is on Lahabrea and Lahabrea only. Whether this oversight is due to distraction or Nabriales’ skill is impossible to say. Good fortune, regardless.
Elidibus wastes no words, races to his fallen colleague and kneels. Hesitates, gloved hands hovering. Seemingly concerned that moving the man might exacerbate his injuries.
He makes contact. Begins his own rare and complex process of healing.
Slowly, agonizingly, what shadows had pooled like ichor around Lahabrea begin to retract. To patch what had been pierced, little by little.
Eventually a gasp, torn and ugly, interrupts the silence.
One black glove, slick with himself, clutches at Elidibus’ forearm.
Frail. Pathetic. Unworthy. Nabriales finds his lips curling in disgust as Lahabrea struggles to find his breath on the ground.
Like a mortal.
“How did this happen?” demands Elidibus, unwavering in ministrations though his voice remains flat and hard.
Lahabrea coughs. Lifts his head. “Hydaelyn,” he rasps. Then, “Weak, in… inexcusable. My doing.“
Ah, so he’s aware after all.
But Elidibus catches Lahabrea’s jaw sharply, draws his gaze up. “He,” says the Emissary, “would not have you regard yourself thus. Only learn.”
The Speaker’s grip is tight. Despite distance, Nabriales notes his trembling reaches Elidibus’ shoulder.
“Whose fault,” says Lahabrea, a raw edge to his words, “would this be if not… if not my own? It should have worked, I had… I had…”
A sigh as Elidibus leans his brow gently, carefully, against the wounded man’s.
Lingers there.
For a time, neither of them says anything. Nabriales finds himself stunned by both the gesture and an innate understanding that it remains beyond what he will ever receive.
“We are all of us,” says Elidibus in a tone that brooks no argument, “instruments of Zodiark. You know better than most what His strength entails.”
Slowly, Lahabrea’s grip begins to loosen.
“The Ardor,” Elidibus continues more quietly, “is not yours alone. Be at peace.”
Another moment passes. After a brief fumble, Lahabrea’s hand slides free. What tension remains to signify consciousness soon follows.
It is with great care then that the Emissary shifts him onto his back. Gathers his colleague in arms and stands. Exits through a corridor once more.
Following some moments spent with his own silent reflection, Nabriales departs as well.
***
All the world knows when Allag’s eikons start to wake.
Scarce days from his retrieval, Lahabrea summons the Sundered in prayer and praise to Zodiark.
All of them present save Emet-Selch and Elidibus. It is a show, Nabriales understands now, meant to impress the little puppets who aspire to be like him. To soothe his own ego. Something his friends would catch in an instant.
But he does love Zodiark, and perhaps the god has seen fit to reward his observance with further insight.
So Nabriales attends to play his role with solemn grace and watchful eye.
Half-mended aether. Absent smile despite the news. Slow, careful movements in this dark chamber with its stone floors and unadorned columns.
No, Lahabrea has not forgotten at all.
***
It ends at Elidibus’ untimely arrival.
“Lord Zodiark,” he says, so smoothly that were he not searching for it that the anger would be undetectable, “appreciates your attentions.”  His gaze does not waver from Lahabrea as he speaks. “But there is work to be done and I’m afraid there are words I would have with your Speaker.”
They disperse.
Nabriales, careful and curious, folds himself out of sight beyond the chamber then makes his way back to its edge.
Lahabrea, farthest from the exit, attempts to steal some small dignity. Turns to face Elidibus.
The Emissary makes him wait. Expressionless red masks matched by those who wear them.
Then, with more speed and force than typical for his demeanor, the Emissary closes distance to trap his colleague against the wall.
“It was my error,” hisses Elidibus, leaning in, “to have stayed silent upon rescuing you. A mistake I will remedy now, so we can be on no uncertain terms.”
Lahabrea lowers his eyes. Nabriales notes that despite the dread they all share of such reprimands, the man does not brace.
“You know as well as I that these words offer less succor to our Lord than action,” continues Elidibus, his fury quiet and no less sharp for that, “just as we both know your thoughtless action is the cause of repeated missteps these past centuries. Make no mistake—for all the strides you’ve made, your fixation and your impatience have cost the rest of us considerable time.”
Silence.
“Do you truly think this is your best service to Him?” asks Elidibus. “To us? Compromising your ability to fill the hours? Even Emet-Selch agrees these displays are disgraceful. You have ever borne them poorly, but being a 'paragon among paragons' naturally you continue ignoring your own better judgment with ours to continue this exercise in futility. Idiot.”
A twitch of the head. Almost a flinch.
It is one of few moments Nabriales has seen the Emissary express his anger so openly. Even after the Thirteenth fell to Igeyorhm’s error, Elidibus allowed the Angel of Truth to lead and voiced his own reproach with a more typical icy demeanor. Scathing though it was.
“I can be of use,” says Lahabrea softly. “Only three of us remain, and I—“
“You,” Elidibus snaps, “cannot follow the most simple instructions for the good of us all. Not for Him, not for Amaurot, not even for yourself. Your pride has made you not simply an embarrassment but a liability.”
Neither man speaks for several moments after that.
And then, at length, Elidibus exhales.
Says the Speaker’s name.
Receives his attention.
“What would you have me do?” the Emissary asks. His tone now is almost weary. “Clearly it would be unreasonable to trust you’d simply listen. Must I mind you like a child?” This is what breaks Lahabrea’s composure.
Knowing the man’s temper, Nabriales had expected him to lash out. Even on the back foot their orator is perfectly capable of defending himself from insults.
Instead, he embraces Elidibus fiercely—face just within the bounds of his pauldrons. Jaw locked shut firmly enough to hurt. Expression downcast.
Elidibus remains perfectly still at first. In the absence of conversation it is possible to hear the rush of Lahabrea’s breathing. Only through the nose, withheld briefly between each inhale as if that offers some means to steady himself.
As if that would make it better.
Tentatively, Elidibus holds him back. Lahabrea's fingers contract, and though he remains upright when his knees begin to give it is the Emissary who helps him kneel.
“Easy,” he murmurs, and Lahabrea removes one hand to run it reflexively over his face—coming against the mask.
Nabriales finds himself staring, searching. A puzzle with missing pieces whose image he may yet divine
“It was not,” says Lahabrea roughly, “my intention to…”
Elidibus reaches beneath the other man’s cowl, finds the hair and skin beneath. Draws him in once more.
Naught that would be shared with or among the Sundered. Nothing so personal as that.
Nabriales has worn his own share of flesh. Bedded lovers, adopted companions and families of vessels to fulfill a purpose. Passable enough, perhaps, but never for him. Not in truth.
It’s as if he looks upon two strangers.
***
Afterward and alone, Nabriales offers his own prayer.
It is neither a request, nor a demand, nor an offering.
Only a promise.
Before His likeness, again and again through clenched teeth, he swears he will prove himself the worthier servant. Nabriales will not remain broken forever.
Despite his shattered form, the blurring and burning of his vision under a mask inherited rather than earned, Nabriales tells himself that indifference is a strength. To halt time, to summon the heavens themselves—before all this, he might have set this world right alone. Instead, crippled as She left him, he can only watch as his brothers-in-arms sabotage them all through sentiment.
Fragile, desperate creatures that they are.
How useless. Useless to Zodiark and to their situation and even so he…
For millenia, they made him doubt.
***
It seems Lahabrea has acquiesced to Elidibus’ demands. While he licks wounds dealt by Hydaelyn, the Speaker turns to the Sundered. Delegates.
Naturally, Nabriales volunteers for this position.
How better to begin than by succeeding where the unbroken could not?
***
Lahabrea is frustrated as he’s ever seen him. Confined to a sickbed, bereft of stationary projects. The Emissary has effectively limited his activity to sleep and amusements. This by itself might have been entertaining, but the man insists on dragging him into the same foul mood. Their briefing includes far more detail than could conceivably matter. Worse, Lahabrea questions him afterward to ensure naught has been missed.
Insufferable.
They are both glad to be rid of each other in the end. Even so, this does not prevent Lahabrea from calling him as he prepares to leave.
“What now?” says Nabriales, no longer bothering to mask his impatience.
Any humor at seeing the Speaker stripped of regalia has faded. Though the mask remains in place, being ordered about by this sandy-haired wreck in bedclothes has lost its charm. He likes not the notion of being instructed by such a dull figure. The chamber itself, outfitted by Elidibus in stone combinations of brown, gray, and gold, proves far more ornate than its occupant.
Lahabrea’s lips thin. When he continues, it is with a note of severity.
“See to it you don’t engage Her champion. Nor any associated parties, for that matter. It can be tempting to underestimate them but…” he trails off a moment. Choosing his words. “…they are not unpracticed.”
Nabriales smiles with his teeth. “Fear not for me, Lahabrea. I assure you that my track record is quite sound.”
And thus he departs.
***
The tasks are straightforward in themselves. Instruct beastfolk to transcend the mortal coil. Observe Hydaelyn’s chosen. Follow developments with the Isle of Val. Escalate primal summons as crystals permit.
Naught particularly taxing alone, his duties prove time consuming and numerous. Despite himself, Nabriales sees how one could become lost in the pile. His greatest obstacle, however, is that the Scions appear to have eyes and ears in every imaginable place. And they do so delight in thwarting his efforts.
Like tying a boot only to have imps undo it again the moment you’ve stood upright. Endearing at first, but this quickly shifts to exasperation and finally to true annoyance.
Killing them would be the efficient path. Alas, he has orders. Evidently Elidibus has intentions for their number as well. Nabriales does not mean to make himself a target for the man’s frustration, whatever other opinions he holds.
So for now, his performance is careful. Meticulous.
Obedient.
***
He wonders what a complete Warrior might have been.
He wonders if she would continue her course, knowing how she’d been cheated.
The Echo locks her mind shut.
Sadly, she will remain distant to him as any other.
***
In the wake of Ramuh and Leviathan, Elidibus calls them to the Chrysalis.
Once more, an Unsundered seeks lesser members of their order. Emet-Selch slumbers still. Lahabrea, over a month reprimanded, adheres to his recovery.
What intel they’ve gathered proves sound. The Warrior’s strength has reached worrisome proportions, of that there can be no doubt. She gorges, swells with the gifts of her mistress. Elidibus, however, argues such power costs the enemy dear. Hydaelyn lacks sufficient aether for these feats. In each successful Calamity, the dominion of Zodiark waxes toward completion. Those sundered inhabitants (rife though they are with potential) remain exhausted and wanting by comparison.
The end, he tells them, is in sight. Perhaps this is even true.
Perhaps it is only what he needs to hear.
And this is when Lahabrea can bear it no longer.
He takes his place, late but listening. His expression proves empty of typical bravado.
Though he proclaims to the room that this mission is why efforts must be ceaseless, his eyes remain fixed on the Emissary.
Elidibus, unimpressed, waits.
“Divine seeds were ever wont to quicken in Eorzea’s fertile soil,” the Speaker continues more quietly. “We need only lead men to the field, and by their eager hands shall a new deity arise.”
Although not quite an apology or an excuse, his justification nonetheless carries earmarks of both.
Duly shamed.
Whether Elidibus is moved by faith or pity is impossible to tell.
He is permitted to stay.
***
Though Lahabrea’s limitations have been reduced, he does remain barred from field. Both he and Nabriales were present for that conversation.
Throughout, the Speaker’s gaze remained fixed on the floor. Fingers flexing lightly. Reminding himself not to form a fist.
It was almost amusing. Might have been, once, had he not known Elidibus’ motive.
Nabriales continues in his function of errand boy either way.
***
Conflict escalates between the Warrior and Ysayle Dangoulin. The elezen who calls herself “Iceheart”.
Another of Hydaelyn’s disciples. Another possessed of Echo and Blessing both… though she lacks knowledge or inclination to fight Ascians.
Convenient.
Nabriales has, under the curt orders of Lahabrea, been urging her toward a unique aetherial experiment. Take advantage of the very qualities that allow her freedom from primals and shape her soul into one. Sacrifice to herself.
Ysayle, it seems, is not the issue. As tensions between her and Eorzea’s champion reach a head she plays her part to perfection. Survives, even. And (as Lahabrea hoped) she is not consumed in her own ritual but simply reverts at its close.
Admittedly, they are stunning together. Hardly the worst subjects to observe. Each tall and fair haired as per his preference. One, moonlight pale. The other hued in gold. Ysayle sheds her common beauty for a more revealing figure. Ice twisting through locks, long limbs summoning attacks with poise. It is as though she drifts through water—gravity has no hold on the Lady Shiva. And his Warrior, skirts and pages rippling in the wind, steps lightly to dodge the assault. Recites spells in a delicate tongue, gestures with slender fingers to hurl her own ruin beside those she commands. A dance for him to pay audience, curving and cold.
All told, a successful venture.
How much more rewarding if he did not need to report back.
***
Returned to an office he rarely has occasion to use, Lahabrea paces.
Idleness suits him not. Though the man’s aether approaches what it was before his misstep, it pales beside their colleagues. The torchlit interior is littered with reports and tomes. His own notes form a growing stack on the desk. If Pashtarot is to be believed, lack of hazard has only made him more insufferable.
Lahabrea cannot seem to keep still, cannot stick to a single project. Dabbles in how to heighten efficiency for their whole organization. Frets constantly.
His movements are quicker than they were. Jerky.
“The Scions are plotting something,” he mutters.
Nabriales, forced to endure such nervous energy without leave to attend his own affairs, scoffs. “Of course,” he replies. “We are none of us blind to the situation. They recognize our plans and form countermeasures.”
Lahabrea glances his way. “Does none of this trouble you?” he asks. “They have not even employed a fraction of their strength and resources. Our movements are duly noted. You might have been more discreet.”
Nabriales glares. “Do not,” he says, “presume to comment on my performance. Speaker.”
His tone, it seems, goes overlooked. Lahabrea only waves a hand dismissively, passing again across the room. “No, they know us better than we gave credit… might you monitor their current agendas more closely?”
This time, Nabriales snorts. Folds his arms. “With or without deference to improved subtlety?”
Lahabrea turns to him.
Pauses.
“…if it comes to a question,” he says slowly, “keep out of sight. Once your presence is revealed, it cannot be masked again with ease.”
This earns a laugh, hard and shameless. “Strange, such sentiments seem more aligned with our Emissary. Does this new, cowardly Lahabrea worry on my account or for himself?”
The Speaker stares, mouth just parted.
“Oh, don’t look surprised,” Nabriales adds with a shrug. “Surely after so long you know we all dislike you. You’ve ever placed higher value on feeling busy than contributing anything of worth. That it is only after losing you exercise care is absurd.”
“Nabriales,” says Lahabrea, his voice low.
A shake of the head. “Don’t bother,” he says. “You have never recognized me as worthy of the office. I am… a placeholder. But what does it say for you that one of my stature might seize the victory you spurn?”
This time, it is almost foreign. Mortal and filthy and yet another reminder of what he has never been.
Nabriales seizes the front of Lahabrea’s robes. Drags him close. “Do not,” he says quietly, tasting ozone as electricity burns across his teeth, “say that name in front of me again.”
***
Lahabrea lets him go. He doesn’t fight back, doesn’t argue.
Disappointing.
***
“Nabriales is no more.”
Fear not for me, Lahabrea. I assure you that my track record is quite sound.
“…The Ardor was not his to invoke. His demise was of his own making.”
Perhaps they all have things they need to hear.
“Nevertheless, it concerns me. They have…”
You have never recognized me as worthy of the office.
“…extinguished that which should rightly be eternal.”
Surely after so long you know we all dislike you.
“Mayhap he was not wholly mistaken. Greater haste may be warranted.”
Make no mistake—for all the strides you’ve made, your fixation and your impatience have cost the rest of us considerable time.
“We are of one mind.”
Does this new, cowardly Lahabrea worry on my account or for himself?
“…The northern lands, then?”
Your pride has made you not simply an embarrassment but a liability.
“The earth is fertile, and the seeds well sown. By my will they shall reap salvation unlike any the world has known.”
Only learn.
“By His will.”
We are all of us instruments of Zodiark.
“…By His will.”
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faeflowerfeline · 7 years
Text
Young lover, I’m begging you please to wake up
He is the son of Clio and Pierus, the muse of history and a mortal man. He is also the most gorgeous man on earth – that is, he is in the eyes of Apollo and his rival, Zephyrus.
(If asked, Zeus would claim Ganymede to be the most gorgeous man on earth. Poseidon would claim Caeneus, Hades would claim Icarus and Artemis would scoff, say that women are gorgeous and that men are pigs. She would exclude her brother from that statement – they are the best of friends, and she claims to have beaten the pig out of him.)
Apollo comes to him, the sun shining bright behind him because he is a god; in fact, he is the god of the sun, and whilst that is a chore (the sun burns, it is bright and warm but if you are too close, if you are pulling it , it is far too hot) it is also a blessing in that when he wants to impress mere mortals he can do this.
Hyacinth gapes, stares at the god who has come to him, wordless. Apollo just laughs, quietly, almost like bells, and the sun rises higher so that it is no longer blinding. He places a hand, soft and warm – hotter than a typical humans (as expected, he is god of the sun ) but not enough to burn – and he smiles and his teeth are as blinding as the sun he left behind.
Hyacinth falls, as women and men both have before him, because Apollo is a god and a charming one at that.
(It is Artemis’ influence, that makes him charm and seduce instead of just taking , because she is the guardian of women – especially young girls – and she would never let her brother do anything like that.)
“You’re Apollo,” Hyacinth says, voice quiet. Apollo laughs again, agrees readily, and offers Hyacinth his hand. The mortal takes it, of course; only the hunters or the Amazons would refuse it, and even then the hunters might solely based on his relationship to their patron. Apollo lifts him from the ground, up into the sky, and takes him along the path of the sun to explore the known world.
Hyacinth is not a hero, but he is favoured by a god.
~~º0º~~
During their travels, Hyacinth captures the attention of Zephyrus. The god of the west wind is not known for his anger, or his jealous rages – instead he is known for kindness, compassion, a less violent temper than those of his brothers.
They do not tell the stories of Zephyrus’ rages.
They should.
For as Zephyrus watches Apollo travel with his lover, watches Hyacinth laugh and dance and date (and kiss, he watches their kisses far closer than anything else – looking for a hint of dissatisfaction that would justify him taking Hyacinth from Apollo, but he never finds it) and travel, he finds himself growing angrier. Across the lands, the west wind blows more fiercely than it ever has before.
Mortals feel Zephyrus’ anger, and they pray to him in a desperate attempt to calm him, but he turns a blind eye and a deaf ear. Zephyrus, in his rage and envy, does not care for those he harms, or of his brother’s dissatisfaction with his actions. He only cares for Hyacinth, and Apollo’s careful hands as they grip Hyacinth’s shoulders, forearms, hands.
And his rage burns hot, because the west wind blows warm.
~~º0º~~
Apollo stares into Hyacinth’s eyes, and his eyes are full of love. It is almost sickening, watching their tenderness and love - or it would be, if it wasn’t so pure. Aphrodite has obviously blessed this union; it is obvious in their every interaction. Even the more violent things they do together (Apollo takes him hunting with Artemis sometimes, and it is a testament to the extent of his relationship with the huntress’s brother that she does not kill him for it) are sappy - Apollo catching the meats Hyacinth enjoys the taste of the most, and Hyacinth sacrificing all of his remains to both Apollo and Artemis (and, wordlessly, to Aphrodite, who very much enjoys the sacrifice).
Hyacinth is the most beautiful man on earth in the eyes of his lover, and Apollo is the most beautiful god on Olympus in the eyes of his.
~~º0º~~
They often play games together; racing each other across fields, competing in javelin throwing and shot put and discus. (This is where our story comes to a head.)
It is a bright summer’s day, the grass green and soft, the trees sighing softly as they watch the two men where they stand in the centre of a clearing. Hyacinth has a discus with him, and he throws it, watches it land.
“Good throw,” Apollo says, walking over to where it landed. Hyacinth laughs, because he knows he may be a good throw for a mortal, but his lover is a god and he will never beat him.
“You could do better,” he says, and Apollo shrugs, picks the discus up from the ground and walks to the unofficial starting line. Hyacinth steps back, towards where Apollo had been standing watching him, and Zephyrus (who had been watching the whole time) sees his chance. Apollo releases the discus, and Zephyrus calls on the wind, changes its course, and lets the god of the sun watch on in horror as the heavy metal disc collides with his lover’s chest.
“No, no, no,” he mutters, (and he will be the god of healing as well but he has not yet claimed that title from Hermes - that is a tale for another time) rushing to the fallen Hyacinth, dropping to his knees beside the prone body, “you can’t leave me, please don’t leave me.”
He is too late, and he knows it - he will not be able to save this one.
(He has been unable to save any of his lovers.)
When Hades’ begins to tug, Apollo pulls back, using his power (far, far more power than necessary) to keep Hyacinth with him. In a last-ditch effort - he will not lose this one, he cannot lose this one - he turns him into a flower, preserves him amongst the earth for all eternity.
Then he sobs, because his lover died by his hand. This, like so many other deaths (all of them lovers, all of them cared for) is his fault, and he thinks that this, perhaps, will be the last.
(Aphrodite saw everything, and she is facing Zephyrus as Apollo cries, and as Artemis arrives and realises what happened. She is not to be trifled with, especially in the matters of a love that has her blessing - there is a reason she has her title, and a reason she should be feared, but none really talk about that side of the goddess of love.)
“Oh, brother,” Artemis sighs, sitting next to him by the flower. It is gorgeous, just like the youth it had once been - purple and white, elegant, arching petals - and she sighs, inhaling its scent.
“I killed him,” Apollo says, and she sighs again, rests her arm over his shoulders. He leans into her, and they sit in front of the Hyacinth flower for what seems like forever. Finally, Aphrodite appears (with ichor in her hair, but they don’t mention that and she won’t talk about that). She leans against Apollo’s other side, runs her hand through his hair.
“Did you curse me?” he asks, and she shakes her head mutely.
“I blessed this union,” she tells him.
“Then why did I kill him?”
“You didn’t,” she says, “Zephyrus did. He was jealous, Apollo, please don’t blame yourself.” He looks up at that, still confused, with tears clinging to his eyelashes. Artemis claps him on the back, stands, pulls him up with her. Aphrodite rises with them, touches a finger to Artemis’ hand (and gets a soft glare in return, although it holds no malice) before vanishing and leaving the siblings to themselves.
They stand, together, hands clasped, and they vanish in a brilliant silver and gold light, leaving a beautiful purple flower in their wake.
(They go to see Zephyrus, find him bleeding on his throne room floor. They do not help him.)
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