#non split attraction

[twigstarpikachutroll22]

Reblog for something aspec to happen to you this summer

[angryducktimemachine]

Aromanticism Zine but it's just my incoherent thoughts.

[xx-ace-raccoonz-xx]

This is a friendly reminder that...

•Even if you don't fit the exact definition of asexual or aromantic, you still are free to use those labels if you think they fit you. I don't exactly fit the definition either because I myself find some people aesthetically attractive like fireworks. I like looking at them but I ain't gonna touch them.

•You do NOT have to use the SAM (split attraction model) if you don't want to. If you do want to use the SAM, then that's also fine.

•Nobody has any right to tell you not to use a certain label just because you don't fit their definition. Those people ain't the label police, but instead they need to handle the police in their head first.

[whump-polls]

interested in some demographics, so

[demonic-shadowlucifer]

hi not so friendly reminder that this blog is inclusive of aros and aces. yes, even cishet aros and aces. I really hate how I have to make a post like this. cishet aros and aces are still queer *because* being aro or ace (or aroace) is queer. queer is not the same thing as "not cishet". and if you think otherwise get off my blog and never come back until you've unlearned your aphobia.

thanks. (OP is a minor. Don't be weird)

[rjalker]

"what does not wanting to date have to do with being ace?!?!"

"what does not wanting to have sex with people have to do with being aro?!?!"

The current amisic stance is just as ridiculous as it sounds.

It's 2024 and people hate aroaces and non-SAM aros and aces so much they're literally trying to define us out of asexuality and aromanticism because they want the asexual and aromantic tags to literally be For Allos Only. I'm not even fucking joking.

the split attraction model is not mandatory. You literally do not ever get to demand people use it.

The asexual tag is for literally every single asexual person in existance. Not just allo aces.

the aromantic tags is for every single aromantic person I existance. Not just allo aros.

You do not get to ban aroaces and non-SAM aros and aces from using the main general tags for the fucking community just because you're allo and completely separate your romantic attraction from your sexual attraction.

Your experiences are not universal.

There is no fucking definition in existence that separates sexual and romantic attraction.

You literally do not have the right or ability to define other people's orientations or experiences to them.

"well I can easily separate my sexual attraction from romantic, so that means everyone can!"

No we fucking can't and newsflash, asshole, we're literally not even required to try! No other fucking orientation comes with the demand to forcibly separate sexual from romantic attraction. The fact that you think it's okay to demand this of aspec people just shows you're blatantly amisic.

The allo aros and allo ace tags exist. Use them if you hate seeing aroaces and non-SAM aros and aces existing so much.

If you hate seeing posts in the aromantic and asexual tags that don't conform to your personal definitions of asexuality and aromanticism that is literally just too fucking bad. Suck it up you whiny fucking self entitled brat. The world does not revolve around you.

If you hate aces and aros and aroaces so much you want to define us out of the aspec community to make sure allos are the only ones allowed...you will be the laughing stock of the whole fucking community. Get over yourself.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

i'm just curious. i see it primarily used in ace+aro spaces bc i feel like that's an environment where a lot of people experience romantic and sexual attraction differently and have a strong sense that they feel one and not the other, or that they feel them towards different people. however i know a lot of people who don't experience meaningful differences between these and it feels like outside of ace- and aro-spec communities it likely gets used a lot less (while in ace- and aro-spec communities it's essentially compulsory)

but i feel there are probably people between those e.g. who do experience or understand them as meaningfully different aspects of their orientation, while also feeling both and having them be "aligned" (e.g. feeling that you're both homosexual and homoromantic and that they're distinct in some way while still pointing in the same direction) so i'm curious about that

even the wording of this poll feels biased bc it relies on the split attraction model in the framing but i couldn't figure out a better way of putting it. if these are completely overlapping concepts for you and the whole framing of them as separate doesn't match your experiences, that would be option 3

[pizzaronipasta]

It kinda sucks that, while aces who don't use the split attraction model can just say "I'm ace" and be mostly understood, aros in that position have to clarify that they're non-SAM aro or else they'll get called aroace.

[styrofauxm]

On aroace flags...

I want to be very clear, I am not criticizing anyone specific, but rather the current ways of combining the asexual and aromantic flags into a cohesive flag.

But I've had this floating around my head for a while, and I saw a post similar to it today, so I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

Cut because it got long.

In the ace flag, black means asexuality, gray means gray/demi sexual, white is for allosexual allies of asexual people, and purple means community. (I lost the link to the AVEN post, but someone dedicated can find it. Otherwise you can just look up the meanings on the internet to verify).

In the aro flag, the green and light green stripes are for the aromantic spectrum, white is for non-romantic attraction, and black and grey are for the sexuality spectrum. (Post by the creator saying this here: https://www.tumblr.com/cameronwhimsy/102698477928/whoops-yeah-i-just-realised-i-never-actually-made?source=share).

So black, grey, and white all mean different things for each flag, yet in most combination flags, they only appear once. Do they mean what they mean on the aromantic flag or what they mean on the asexual flag?

The light green and green don't have any arbitrary separations for people who do and don't feel romantic attraction, and the grey and black of the aro flag don't have that for sexual attraction either, while the asexual flag does. Cutting out one of the green stripes or moving the black and grey away from each other don't make sense in the context of the aromantic flag.

I've also seen some that add an extra purple stripe. It doesn't mean anything, it's just aesthetic.

Whether or not you like the sunset aroace flag, it is a good example to look at when trying to create a flag to represent aroace people. It keeps the association with asexuality and aromanticism, without using the original colors in ways that don't quite fit. (Color meaning breakdown by the creator here: https://aroaesflags.tumblr.com/post/181034758671/revised-aroace-flag-after-some-conversation-among).

The whole point of having pride flags is to have a meaningful symbol to represent our communities. For aroace people, mashing two together keeps the association with asexuality and aromanticism, but loses the deeper meaning behind each flag.

Honestly, as an aroace person, I think the only way to really design an aroace flag is to depart from the imagery of either flag. That ensures the meanings are solid, and it ensures no one in accidentally excluded (which is, to my understanding, why the sunset flag was created originally - to have a community symbol that included the whole community inherently). But I understand not everyone shares the sentiment.

So, from one aroace person to another, if you are going to design an aroace flag that's based on the ace and aro flags, please keep in mind what those colors mean in the context of each flag, and don't put them in just to have them. And be sure that your design properly includes everyone you are trying to represent.

[cosmicredcadet]

just because someone doesn't label an attraction on the split attraction doesn't make them allo in that attraction.

I don't label my other attractions because to me the only important ones to label are my romantic and sexual attractions as those effect me first and foremost. That doesn't mean I'm just allo in every other form of attraction. I'm not alloplatonic or alloaesthetic or allofamilial or whatever other ones (not in a dismissive way but in a 'there's so many i cannot name them all way'). I don't feel ANY attraction at all. I don't see a reason to label my other a-attractions because my lack of any attraction at all makes it feel a bit unnecessary for me personally.

[fleabittenflags]

[Image Description: A pride flag with seven stripes of equal width. The colors of the stripes from top to bottom are baby blue, light green, white, yellow, pale orange, pale magenta, medium blue. End ID.]

Unlabeled tertiary/non-rose attraction: A term describing one who does not label their tertiary/non-rose attraction, for any reason. Some examples as to why someone would use this term are: one does not feel that their tertiary attraction is an important part of their identity, their tertiary attraction would be too complicated to comfortably label, they do not feel tertiary attraction and are uncomfortable with atertiary labels, etc.

The top three stripes are adjusted from the unlabeled flag and the bottom four stripes are adjusted from the tertiary attraction flag.

[fite-club]

Idk if you’ve talked about this before but I just cannot understand how being aro-ace makes you queer. I’ve had my close aro/ace friend try to explain it to me and even she didn’t understand what she was talking about.

I still totally respect aro ace people, but I’ve tried so hard to understand some parts of what it means because it’s just so vague and general. I used to think I was demisexual because I didn’t feel sexual attraction to random people. I knew I liked boys and girls but didn’t wanna casually date around. But it turns out that’s just.. a preference. Tons of straight women don’t automatically feel sexual feelings for someone. A lot of men tend to view random women sexually because of societal conditioning to view women as objects, but I’m not gonna get into all that.

And then I see comments being like ‘you can be ace and still feel sexual attraction, you can be aro but still have crushes and want a relationship’. It just feels like a bunch of microlabels. Like baby that’s just a preference. Really what they’re describing is, the pressure of a heteronormative society making us think that we will all feel attraction in the same way, the crushes, falling in love, wanting to have sex constantly. But that isn’t true for everyone. Just because you have a lower sex drive doesn’t make you queer. Just because u don’t crush on every girl you meet doesn’t mean you’re aromantic.

Oh and I hate it when someone says ‘I don’t wanna have casual sex I want to sleep with someone I love’ and people will claim that means you’re demisexual. Fuck off- plenty of women feel this way because hookup culture has normalised women being used for meaningless sex, it’s a natural biological instinct to want to have sex with someone you have a romantic bond with and it’s unfortunate that current hookup culture makes a lot of people feel used and scared of intimacy. (And of course, I am not hating on anyone who does engage in consensual casual sex, informed consent is important but hookup culture is often pretty shallow and hateful tbh). If you’re aroace then you just don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction. No ifs or buts. If you ‘sometimes’ get crushes then I’m sorry but that’s just how attraction works lol.

I guess it’s one of those things where I have to settle for not understanding but respecting it. Sorry for the long ass ask!!

yeah yup, "ace discourse" was one of the things i made this sideblog for so you'll for sure see stuff about it if you go back thru the archive. you're right, the conflation of personal dating preferences with immutable sexual orientations has resulted in some terrible queer politics like "you can be ace and still enjoy sex, you can be aro and still love your partner". it's messed with a lot of people's (especially sheltered teens') perception of what attraction even is! and we as a society are just not past the basic misogyny, homophobia, biphobia, whorephobia, serophobia, etc wrapped up in our culture to even begin to look at attraction non-subjectively. like, as much as i want to understand aromanticism (i "get" it and respect it), i think that "romance" and "romantic attraction" are such cultural and individual things that i find it hard to comprehend how one even knows they're incapable of experiencing it...?

all that being said, i think "non-partnering aroace" people ARE "queer" in their own way. not every ace/aro person is queer or identifies as so (since you can still be cishet) and obviously there are ace/aro LGBT people, but like, i genuinely do think that our society is still really uncomfortable with the idea of single independent adults who don't want marriage or family. i don't think aroace people are "oppressed by aphobia" or anything, and it's not like they're targeted or directly hurt by homophobia, but they ARE marginalized in the fact that their existence makes other people uncomfortable and so other people will attempt to "fix" the thing that is "wrong" with them. their lifestyle isn't one you often see positively represented in media (not that it doesn't exist, of course, but it's pretty rare) and the majority of people see it as a personal/mental/emotional failure rather than a genuine preference. so, in the sense that "queer" means "unnatural, strange, othered" and also means "not heterosexual", non-partnering aroaces can be queer (if they identify that way-- plenty of aroaces don't, and/or don't consider themselves part of the LGBT community at all. depends on the person!)

[ryanyflags]

Non-SAM a-spec flags :D

These are included in the various a-spec flag sets I posted, but I also thought they should have their own post (to help explain it a bit).

-

Non-SAM analt (analterous)

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Non-SAM apl (aplatonic)

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Non-SAM asen (asensual)

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Non-SAM anae (anaesthetic)

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Non-SAM aqp (aqueerplatonic)

-

Non-SAM (non split attraction model) is a broad term. Some examples would be:

Only identifying as either analterous/aplatonic/asensual/anaesthetic/aqueerplatonic.

Experiencing RoSe (romantic+sexual attraction) as one thing.

Experiencing all attractions as one thing.

Opting out of Rose.

Opting out of all a-spec and allo-spec orientations except either analterous/aplatonic/asensual/anaesthetic/aqueerplatonic.

Feeling as though their analterous/aplatonic/asensual/anaesthetic/aqueerplatonic identity is their most important identity.

And others too.

Whether you mean non-SAM to mean only RoSe or including tertiary attractions too, or why you identify as non-SAM, or how you experience attraction, etc., there's a lot of ways to be non-SAM.

I'm non-SAM ace myself, and I thought it would be nice to make some other non-SAM flags.

-

For the flags, there's two versions for each. They both use the purple/blue/turquoise/cream from this general non-SAM flag (by @arokill) to represent non-SAM. The first is based off of the five stripe non-SAM flags (like here and here), and the second is based off of my alt non-SAM flags (here).

The other colors are from the respective analterous/aplatonic/asensual/anaesthetic/aqueerplatonic flags. I used light blue for analterous. Yellow (first set), purple, blue, and green (second set), for aplatonic. Orange for asensual. Pink for anaesthetic. Yellow and pink (first set), and two shades of teal (second set), for aqueerplatonic.

-

I think these turned out quite nice. I really like the non-SAM label.

[libbyscribbles]

hi! In your pinned post it says you do pride blinkies, would you be able to make a non-SAM aro one? if so, thank you!!

of course! here you go :)

let me know if there's a different flag you'd rather i use, or a different color scheme!

[rjalker]

If your reaction to the diversity of experiences in the aspec community is disgust and outrage that other aromantic and asexual people do not share your exact experiences, and you decide to react to this not by embracing and celebrating the diversity, but by telling aroace and non-SAM aro and ace people we're literally not allowed to use the aro or ace tags, you are objectively amisic and a bad person. I hope you know that.

Literally. If you think aroace people should be bullied out of using the aromantic and asexual tags because you're allo and are mad that we're not, you're literally just a bad person and I'm literally half wondering if this isn't just another TERF fucking campaign or if you people are seriously just that happy to tear apart the aspec community again in 2024.

People can use the aromantic tag when they talk about hating sex. People can use the asexual tag when they talk about how they never want to get married. You literally do not get to fucking police what people identify as.

If you only want to see posts about being allo, then make up brand new tags that are just about being allo. You literally do not get to try and bar aroace and non-SAM people from talking about their experiences and identities in the aro and ace tags.

[receivingtranny]

Non-Sam Anattractional-Spec

based on the non-sam flag by @/arokill

sources - LGBTQIA Wiki, Wikipedia

A flag for anyone on the anattractional spectrum that doesn't follow the split attraction model.