#no I think I just need less free time so that I don't have time to think those things
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thetruemasterofgames · 2 days ago
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Okay I'm seeing confusion on this so let me help out to people who don't see the path chose.
Pedophilia, grooming, sexual abuse ect. is nearly universally hated it makes a knee jerk reactions of fear and hatred in most people.
In that reaction people act irrationally they will support a bill without fully reading understanding that it hurts predators and that's enough for them.
Next either hidden in addendum or in a seperate bill they sneak in a less publicized vote to consider expressions of same sex attraction or gender nonconformity to being "explicitly adult material".
Now you may be saying "ttmog it's been culturally adult material for generations what's the issue?" Well I'm glad you asked hypothetical questioner. The difference is it wasn't in legal documentation. The moment it becomes legal documentation it doesn't matter how defiant or polite you are it's seen as adult only material.
Now what does this do? Well it is illegal to distribute or expose adult material to minors. These bills would wager that by a child seeing two men kissing, or a amab in a dress, it is inherently exposing them to adult material. Which classifies the people observed as displaying adult material to a minor, which could be classified as grooming so now....:
We have a gay couple getting executed for displaying affection because a child happened to be present... despite the fact they see straight people do this every day on tv...
These bills are dangerous, they set dangerous precedent, and give means to change the word groomer to mean whatever the hell they want it to mean.
Leading to them being able to execute any group they want.
Be safe, be vigilant and keep fighting. These can not be let to lie we can NOT let them twist things.
Why am I telling all this? Well partially for your education maybe somebody will read this and be inspired to stand up in newfound clarity. But that's not the only reason. Those of you fighting need to be prepared to explain this. Because every time we just dismiss the people posting that "why are you saying it targets you" meme with that dumb goose it tells onlookers who are undecided that we can't answer the question.
Remember its not our goal to convince our opponent it's our goal to refute them well enough that onlookers won't be pulled into their den of propaganda.
Even if you think it won't convince the person you are arguing explain it so others don't get dragged down. And if you can't handle it? That's fine everyone needs a rest. Feel free to use this post as a way to explain if you wish or even tag me I have no qualms fighting bigots. I'm disabled I'm stuck at home and am working on making things for the family most the time. If I can use the times I need to rest my back to fight against stuff like that? Then I'm glad to just to make sure people are more safe.
Stay safe all drink yet water and remember you are loved and matter. You have a whole community behind you no matter what you aren't alone.
LGBT people, I need you to know that any “pedophile execution bill” passed in the US is meant to put you, personally, to death. When the right says “groomer,” they’re talking about you. When they say “predator,” they’re talking about you. When they say “pedophile,” they’re talking about you. Any actual child sex abusers who are convicted and executed would be, to them, a happy accident, a cherry on top of a law that’s meant to exterminate anyone who deviates from the cisgender, heterosexual norm.
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leahkentwriter · 18 hours ago
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Hannibal but make it sapphic
Someone recommended a novella called Bloom by Delilah S. Dawson as it was apparently inspired by the tv show Hannibal. That got my attention. As did the cover art. (I kind of want to fuck the cover art, and I'm asexual.)
I feel like this is a twisted romantic horror story between a budding bisexual and a homoromantic asexual. Which I loved. More of that, please. Lesbians are great, but I like it when those of us who are a bit underrepresented are front and center.
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What I will say here is that if you're a fan of the show but really wanted more of that sapphic element - this novella is worth a read. The rest of what I have to say I'll hide in case you want to pick this book up without my thoughts in your head.
This is a story about Ro, a newly appointed assistant professor of literature, and Ash, a free-spirited artisan. The story is sapphic and feminine, even when the horror is on full display - and it is on full display. There are very clear parallels into Hannibal which fans will pick up on, so those craving a sapphic version of the Will-Hannibal relationship may be interested in this story.
That said, the Hannibal references got a bit heavy-handed in my opinion. I think that in honoring every part of him, the narrative leaned in a bit too heavily. I enjoyed the elements that were unique to this particular story more than I did the tie-ins to Hannibal. Something more domestic, something that turns a certain kind of polished pastel Instagram aesthetic into horror. A protagonist that resonated with the awkward feelings and tendency to overthink that many of us experience. How well Dawson represents what obsessive feelings look and feel like.
Because this is a novella and it had to move quickly, there were things that had to be told rather than shown. That's fine - but at times, in this story, it felt clunky. There are moments where the narrator is clueless, yet it's so obvious what's going on. The literary references are sometimes great but sometimes don't pull their weight, and I wish they'd been used a bit more intentionally. The foreshadowing is at times less shadowy and more like a big blinking neon sign. Even without knowing anything about Hannibal, readers will know fairly quickly where things are going. This novella is about appreciating the journey, and what that journey looks like between queer women.
Ro is actually annoying, and I love that about her, because anyone who has ever been obsessively fixated on another person knows how your critical thinking skills suddenly shut down. She's distracted, she's fumbles, she does the wrong things for the right reasons and doesn't really listen and often knows she's not really listening, and her internal justifications are weak at best, so she's definitely not a martyr in this story. She both ignores red flags, and is a red flag herself. Both of these women have needs they're trying to sate, and have elements of toxic behavior.
Ro's awkwardness and mistakes and messy emotions and overthinking are usually relatable. She's pretty quickly out of her element and gets pushed more and more out of her comfort zone, which she at times overthinks, but at times just gives into. I did enjoy that about her.
Ash read to me as distinctly asexual. That's never overtly stated, but that was the vibe I got, which I enjoyed. And yes, there's sex in this story, because asexuals do fuck, and do even enjoy fucking (it's me. hi.) but Ash? She's a homoromantic ace. She's not getting off on the sex - there's something else driving her desire. (I'm a panromantic ace with kinks. I will die on this hill.)
Ash is an interesting predator, and any story where you've got women hunting women is going to get my attention. I've had enough of men hunting women. Women hunting men does satisfy a certain urge but I have to be in the mood.
Women hunting women is a whole different beast. And there's something Ash says toward the end of the story that felt very uniquely like something a predatory queer woman would say. We only ever see her via Ro, but it's easy to fill in the gaps that Ro doesn't (want to) see. If you're a Hannibal fan, you'll understand Ash pretty quickly. Even if you're not, her motives become clear. I think the thing I liked the best was that her desire isn't singular - by the end you realize that there were several ways this could have gone, and Ro was always the one who was going to determine that. (Of course, how much agency Ro actually has is debatable.)
I'm not sure how more hardcore Hannibal fans will like the ultimate ending - they will definitely understand where it comes from. I have mixed feelings about it simply because it does borrow from the show in a very direct way that I didn't like. I wish it had been done a bit differently. But I'm not disappointed at what it reveals about Ash.
My biggest critique is that I feel like this should have been a novel, because the things I felt were a bit clunky and heavy handed and rushed could have been easily smoothed out in a longer narrative. I also wanted to stay in this story longer. Despite my critiques, I did like it, and I feel like there's a lot more here that could have been explored. Dawson wove in lots of interesting threads.
I love stories that center women and women's spaces and feminine aesthetics, without making them seem silly or diminishing them. Stories that, like Dawson's, see the beauty and the horror without trivializing. You never get the impression that she's parodying or making fun. You see the idyllic nature of the life behind the aesthetic, as well as the gruesome realities. These are all things that are very familiar and very understandable. And that's what makes it chilling.
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wolftarotcrafts · 19 hours ago
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I'm writing this after doing the readings, and this is for people in relationships and situations. If you are looking for the singles, it is on my page or linked below. I also forgot to put in the extras/signs I usually put in, so I'm sorry about that.
I also have more information on my Ko-fi down below.
I'm not going to lie this is a little bit of a heavy one so just keep that in mind. Like after I was done I let out a big sigh. Its not bad I don't want to scare anyone off becasue some of it may not apply to you.
Pile One:
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Pile one, I see two scenarios of a relationship and, for others, a situationship. If you are in a relationship, it's fresh and new. I see your past relationships may have been really toxic and not healthy, but you have done the work and really healed. I see that you are now with someone who makes you feel free and strong. For what you can expect, I think it's more change and growth. It's a steady incline, and I think you can expect to get to know one another and really take that time. There is no need to rush. For people in situationships or just talking to people, if the other person is not giving you attention or not putting in as much effort as they should be, I see you now knowing your worth and finding something better. You know you deserve better, and you deserve someone who is going to put in the work, and if this person isn't doing that, then you need to change it up and find someone who will. You know what you want and are manifesting, so don't settle for less.
Pile Two
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Pile two, you may have also picked pile one. I think your person doesn't feel the same. They do not feel what you feel for them. I think they just like the attention you give them, but they don't actually care all that much. I feel this is a one-sided relationship/situationship. You need to choose yourself and work on yourself. I think there is someone else out there, and this person isn't for you. You will know if this applies to you because your relationship is just stagnant and nothing is happening. They aren't really returning your affections. You should do some shadow work and self-work. It's time for you to walk away from this situation.
Pile Three:
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Pile three I see some of you may be in a fight, or this could be a common fight you and your partner can have often. I see some of you just being stuck in this rut. I see fights can stem from insecurity and jealousy. I think you need to have an honest conversation with your partner and really talk it out. If you want this to work, you have to be willing to have the conversation because you can't avoid it forever. You and your partner may be stubborn, so you need to be brave enough to have these conversations because I see there is love here, so don't let it go. Talk to each other and remember that you are good enough.
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My Ko-fi link is here, so if you would like to take a look and support me over there too, that would be amazing! I added a PAC on there for 'what you need to focus on for the month of February.' Another one will be on its way tomorrow.
If you want to put a request for different PAC readings you want to see then feel free to comment them under this other post on my page.
Thank you!
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ragnarssons · 2 days ago
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so, i re-rewatched gladiator II and i gotta say, i feel like this movie wouldn't struggle with its story anywhere as much, had the first movie been honest with its protagonists and who they were. marcus aurelius (movie-wise, even) wasn't a "fair, pro-democracy" emperor, during his reign, rome conquered a lot of territories and enslaved a shitton of people. heck, macrinus' character exists precisely because of that: because marcus aurelius also conquered and enslaved people. maximus was, sure, a "defender of rome", he also was just like acacius, a general, conquering cities, killing men, women and children to do so, burning their bodies in mass graves, feeding off the blood of people who would then end up as slaves to rome. the first movie (and by extension, the second movie) glorifying these characters into "role models" just takes away all the complex (and interesting) ambiguity that is brought up by characters like lucius/hanno, macrinus, acacius, etc. and where the second movie doesn't delve nearly enough into these complicated, intricated questions, it could be because ridley scott (or anyone involved in the movie tbh) didn't dare question what the narrative was for the first movie. you can't just take a character like maximus, adored by fans, and 20 years later, question whether or not he truly was a hero. because in the first movie (the timeframe portrayed in the movie, i mean), he was a hero. he thought for freedom.... once he was in the arena. once he became a slave. once he was betrayed by the rome he'd spent decades of his life serving. and we needed this hero as a source of inspiration to a character with his morality muddled like lucius. i guess i'm not as troubled by the glorification of maximus as i am of marcus aurelius, tho. because at the end of the day, macrinus is portrayed as being wrong, awful, and worse than his own enslaver??? because, the gladiator saga as it is, has characters who serve the purpose of denouncing the colonialist politics of rome, while also glorifying it through other characters??? and then the narrative being like "oh but it's the fault of these bloodthirsty emperors" (either comodus or caracalla/geta) but actually not, because even "nice democracy guy" marcus aurelius and "liberty hero" maximus fought to conquer and enslave people, sooo? 🤷‍♀️ when it's just...... so much more complex than that? and it would be so interesting to have had either maximus question that in the first movie, lucilla question than when faced with macrinus, lucius just serving lucilla's narrative to question that. i feel like the movie goes so fast that we brushed over so many character moments that could've been interesting, like literally acacius learning about how his conquests literally murdered lucius' wife? or lucius questioning how his father is actually literally just like acacius and how many widow(er)s, orphans, did maximus (and marcus aurelius) leave in his (their) wake? or, to go back to the first movie, have maximus, who bonded with juba just THINK for two seconds about the fact that it's because of him, the system of marcus aurelius, that juba ended up as a slave? like sure, the first movie being more "bottled", it feels like it's less lacking than a movie about literally "the heir taking the throne", but both movies suffer from the same.... lack of nuances and questions being put in front of the characters, moral dilemmas or times for the characters to introspect. it would've worked perfectly fine, had gladiator stayed one movie, but if you're gonna build a saga about "freeing rome from tyranny" like why don't you question the whole SYSTEM of rome which is itself a tyranny, no matter who has the power? a system who upholds men like comodus, caracalla and geta, a system that is held together by these same senators who are corrupted to the bone and NOT AT ALL the ideal "democracy guys" that lucilla (anyone in rome) should rely on to change the system? (like biiiiiiiiitch wake tf up... oops too late i guess). idk 🤷‍♀️
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starrydyke · 2 days ago
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Few more to add:
Don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion. It can take a while, especially with NHS waiting lists, but if you haven't been listened to by the first doctor then it's always worth trying again
Do your research on the medications you're prescribed!! Be aware of how the medication is making you feel. Ask for an alternative if you're not comfortable with the medication they've offered
If you've got people in your life you can talk to, lean on them. Chronic illness is lonely as fuck and, as someone who didn't have anyone to talk to about what I was going through for years, even just mentioning it casually in conversation helps
If you don't have anyone in your life to talk to, try online support groups or even just follow people with similar experiences to you online if you don't feel comfortable sharing what you're going through
In some counties, the NHS offers free talking therapy, including a targeted pain and fatigue group. It might not be for everyone, but it could be worth checking out if you need extra support
Electrolytes are super helpful if you're low on energy and or find it difficult to stay hydrated. And you can get them in lots of different flavours!
Hot water bottles and TENS machines are god tier
I feel like it should go without saying, but people are disabled before they're diagnosed. If you don't have a diagnosis, you're still valid and your experiences matter. Getting a diagnosis can be ridiculously difficult. I had to wait for four years before I could even access the medical system because I didn't have my parents' support so I had to wait until I was 16. It then took another five years before I was diagnosed. It was during that time that I needed support the most, and didn't get it
KT tape can be really useful for stabilising joints (but be careful when taking it off if your skin tears easily). If you use KT tape, remember to round off the corners so it's less likely to peel off
Dealing with body image can be really difficult sometimes. Disability changes how your body feels and looks and it's difficult to come to terms with that. I haven't quite figured this one out myself yet (past get tattoos and take slightly nsft photos), but I'll let you know when I get there. I think it helps to try and reclaim your bodily autonomy so anything that gets you there I guess
If you make your own food, try batch cooking one pot dinners (chilli, stew, daal etc) so you only have to cook once a week and don't have much washing up to do
There's nothing wrong with sitting down to do something if it helps. Sit down to wash up. Sit down to shower. Sit down at a concert. Just sit down
Don't have the energy to shower? That's okay, you can use baby wipes for your body and a Freshwipes no rinse shower cap for your hair x
I've been disabled for almost 29 years. Here's what I've learned.
Tablets sink and capsules float. Separate out your tablets and capsules when you go to take them. Tip your head down when taking capsules and up when taking tablets. Liquigels don't matter, they kinda stay in the middle of whatever liquid is in your mouth.
If your pill tastes bad, coat it with a bit of butter or margarine. I learned this from my mom, who learned it from a pharmacist.
Being in pain every day isn't normal. Average people experience pain during exceptional moments, like when they stub their toe or jam their finger in a door, not when they sit cross-legged.
Make a medical binder. Make multiple medical binders. I have a small one that comes with me to appointments and two big ones that stay at home, one with old stuff and one with more recent stuff.
Find your icons. Some of mine include Daya Betty (drag queen with diabetes), Stef Sanjati (influencer with Waardenburg syndrome and ADHD), and Hank Green (guy with ulcerative colitis who... does a bunch of stuff). They don't have to be disabled in the same way as you. They don't even have to be real people. Put their pictures up somewhere if you want; I've been meaning to decorate my medical binders with pictures of my icons.
Take a bin, box, bag, basket, whatever and fill it with items to cope with. This can be stuff for mentally coping like colouring books or play clay or stuff for physically coping like pain medicine or physio tape.
Decorate your shit! My cane for at home has a plushie backpack clip hanging from the end of the handle and my cane for going places is covered in stickers. All of my medical binders have fun scrapbooking paper on the outside. Sometimes, I put stickers and washi tape on my inhalers and pill bottles. I used my Cricut to decorate my coping bin with quotes from my icons, like "I've seen enough of Ba Sing Se" and "I need you to be angrier with that bell".
If a flare-up is making you unable to eat or keep food down, consider going to the ER. A pharmacist once told me that since my eye flares can make me so nauseous that I cannot eat, then I need to go to the hospital when that happens.
Cola works wonders for nausea. I have mini cans of Diet Pepsi in my coping bin.
Shortbread is one of the only things I can eat when nauseous. Giant Tiger sells individually-wrapped servings of shortbread around Christmas or the British import store sells them year-round. I also keep these in my coping bin.
Unless it violates a pain contract or something, don't be afraid to go behind your doctor's back to get something they are refusing you. I got my cardiologist referral by getting in with a different NP at my primary care clinic than who I usually saw. I switched from Seroquel to Abilify by visiting a walk-in.
If you have a condition affecting your abdomen in some way (GI issues, reproductive problems, y'know) then invest in track pants that are too big. I bought some for my laparoscopy over a year ago and they've been handy for pelvic pain days, too. I've also heard loose pants are good for after colonoscopies.
Do whatever works, even if it's weird. I've sat on the floor of the Eaton Centre to take my pills. I've shoved heating pads down my front waistband to reach my uterus.
High-top Converse are good for weak ankles. I almost exclusively wear them.
You can reuse your pill bottles for stuff. I use my jumbo ones to store makeup sponges and my long skinny ones to hold a travel-size amount of Q-Tips.
Just because your diagnostics come back with nothing, it doesn't mean nothing is wrong. Maybe you were checking the wrong thing, or the diagnostic tool wasn't sensitive enough. I have bradycardia episodes even though multiple cardiac tests caught nothing. I probably have endometriosis even though my gynecologist didn't see anything.
You can bring your comfort item to appointments, and it's generally a green flag when someone talks to you about it. I brought a Squishmallow turkey (named Ulana) to my laparoscopy and they had her wearing my mask when I woke up. I brought a Build-A-Bear cat (named Blinx) to another procedure and a nurse told me that everyone in the hall on the way to the procedure room saw him and were talking about how cute he was. Both of those ended up being positive experiences and every person who talked to me about my plushies was nice to me. If you don't feel comfortable having it visible to your provider during the appointment, you can hide it in your bag and just know it's there, or if you're in a video appointment, you can hold it below frame in your lap.
Get a small bucket, fill it with stuff, and stick it in your bed (if you have room for it). I filled a bucket with Ensure, juice boxes, oatmeal bars, lotion, my rescue inhaler, etc. in October 2023 in anticipation of my laparoscopy and I still have it in my bed as of January 2025.
If your disability impacts your impulse control (e.g. ADHD, bipolar disorder), you should consider setting limits around your spending -- no more than X dollars at a time, nothing online unless it's absolutely necessary, and so on. Or, run these purchases by someone you trust before committing to them; I use my BFF groupchat to help talk sense into myself when I buy stuff.
Feel free to add on what you've learned about disability!
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genericpuff · 1 year ago
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vent post
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#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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fridayyy-13th · 5 months ago
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wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 10 months ago
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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
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"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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blackcatxmagic · 9 hours ago
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Nodding, Winter agreed, "Yeah, especially me. I mean...I always have honey here. It's sort of my thing. But I need different ways to enjoy it or else I'll...well, stop enjoying it, you know? And I don't want that because..." Winter trailed off; he knew what he was about to say, but he also knew it might sound stupid. Still, he said it anyway, telling Stoker, "It's so much a part of who I am, beekeeping and selling my honey and all of that, and I kind of don't know who I would be without it." There was one thing though that Winter didn't say out loud: that his bees brought him so much comfort because sometimes it felt like they were the only ones to truly understand him. Their bond was unexplainable and deep, and Winter truly loved them. But he thought that might be too much for Stoker. It seemed like the other understood Winter's point though, and that made him smile. Yes, he was glad the two of them had met.
Upon giving the honey to his new friend, Winter saw his reaction, which made him smile even more in turn. It always felt good to him to make other people happy, and he already knew he'd be giving Stoker another free jar of honey at some point. "It's no big deal," he said, still grinning at them. "I mean...I've got more honey than I can manage sometimes." Right now he didn't have quite as much because it was winter, but he still had more than enough to sell at the markets for the next couple of months. And besides, that wasn't Winter's livelihood anyway - he'd only ever done this because he loved it, not as a job. "I wanted to do something nice for you," he said softly. "I just...I always appreciate when people like me." Winter felt himself getting a little vulnerable now, and he blushed slightly, but still he continued. "Sometimes people think I'm weird or are put-off by the fact that my memory is so terrible," Winter explained further, "so I just...I'm glad you're not one of those people." His cheeks were just a little redder now, but Winter didn't feel embarrassed; he felt like Stoker would understand.
And that was why Winter found himself talking further about the memory issues - he could tell that Stoker wouldn't judge him or make an excuse to leave or something (at least he hoped not). "It's...it's been hard," Winter explained. "I don't even remember how to drive. You know that car in the driveway? That's mine, but it's pretty useless to me. And...and it's not just like a couple of notes." He walked over to a drawer nearby and pulled it open, taking out a stack of notes and holding them up to show Stoker. "See what I mean?" He didn't want to dwell on it too much, but it just felt nice being able to open up about this. There were some things Winter didn't say though, like how he was afraid to even try learning how to drive again because he was worried he wouldn't be able to retain anything he learned. This felt too personal to reveal though, at least for right now. Stoker had nothing but positive and encouraging things to say, and their support made Winter smile, feeling a little less self-conscious. "I'm getting by," he replied, "I am. It's just...it's hard sometimes, and it's embarrassing too." His cheeks were just a little red now, but mostly Winter felt safe and comfortable with his new friend, and he appreciated that greatly.
After the pair had made their tea, Winter sat at the counter with Stoker, taking a sip. "Another way I like honey is on toast," he told Stoker. "Just like drizzled on. If you haven't tried it, well..." He trailed off, nodding toward the jar of honey he'd given the other, a smile on his face. For a couple more minutes, they sat there enjoying their tea, and Winter asked, "So what do you like to do in your free time, Stoker? I guess we still don't know a ton about each other, do we?" Winter felt like Stoker could end up being a good friend, but he wanted to know them more. He removed a small notebook from his pocket as well as a pen, blushing slightly once more. "Is it okay if I take notes?" Winter asked the other.
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Stoker laughed. "I am a tea person, yeah. I'm a bit of an avid drinker in general, so I'm a big fan of a lot of drinks, but tea has always been up there with my favourites," they explained, giving a completely unnecessary long winded answer, not unlike Stoker. "I think that's a perfectly acceptable reason to be a tea drinker," Stoker shrugged. "I mean, if you stuck to straight honey all the time I feel like you'd be more likely to get sick of it by now," which definitely wouldn't be a very good thing for someone who was so involved with the making of honey.
"For me?" Stoker confirmed, the smile already on his face growing larger. While he knew that Winter was kind and generous, he didn't expect a whole bottle from his best batch of the year, and that oddly touched Stoker. "Thank you very much, Winter. I'll treat it like liquid gold," he chuckled. He already knew that Silas would be benefitting from the gift too, which made Stoker feel hopeful that he could pay Winter back by sending Silas and his thick wallet his way with some business.
The switch up in conversation to the topic of Winter's accident was one that surprised Stoker so very much, but it wasn't unwelcome. If anything, Stoker valued honesty, particularly when it was honesty regarding something so vulnerable. "You haven't told me this before," Stoker reassured him. "I think the notes are a great way of managing that, that's a really smart use of resources," Stoker's words were completely honest, and his tone was relatively stable; he didn't want to come across like he was pitying Winter in a way that would make him feel less than other's without issues similar. "I know my words are just, well, words, but you don't need to hide them from me." Stoker didn't know how deep Winter's embarrassment went, but he truly did want his friend to know that there was no reason to be ashamed.
"Thank you," Stoker was more than happy to busy himself by putting honey into his tea and moving on to a conversation about it instead. While he meant what he said when speaking of Winter's accident, seeing the way that the other reacted to having left a note out, Stoker didn't want to force him to ruminate on the subject. "This smells amazing with the honey in it," he commented, smile as bright as his sparkling, friendly eyes.
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ravenekrops · 3 months ago
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so many things to do and so little energy and time and focus to invest in all of them at the same time all the time
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badgirlcoven-official · 1 year ago
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This is absolutely not a diss on anyone who did like the Collector's ending there's merits to it and interpretations that make it more reasonable but sometimes idk it's such a let down when you're watching a show about found family, acceptance, healing from abuse, etc and you get attached to this character only to never see them get more than a gentle dismissal.
I have to wonder what kids who are more like the Collector than the other kids in the show or who have similar behaviors because of neglect feel about that ending. Maybe for some of them the idea of leaving everyone behind to be in their own space would be freeing and exciting but it does come with the implication that the Collector didn't deserve to have a real family.
That's what stings about it I think, I know that wasn't the intention but his resolution really kinda was like "ok now take this and go away" in the end he was too out of touch, too powerful, too weird, too messed up, and no one especially wanted him enough for the writers to justify him staying.
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semiotomatics · 2 years ago
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GOD im so mad
i only just found out YESTERDAY that hozier is coming here in october, and tickets went on sale on the 24th which means of course they're already sold out and only available at 2-4x face value from resellers. and i'm trying to decide if it's worth it to pay $200+ bc i DO desperately want to see him live but a) that's SO MUCH MONEY for not the best seats esp considering b) its an arena show and i'm really not a fan of arena shows as it is
cursing myself for not going to see him when he played the orpheum in 2018, it would've been way cheaper and that's literally THEE perfect venue for him 😭
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nonokoko13 · 1 year ago
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Why can't people like a celebrity without imagine them as queer? Can't people like Taylor music without go saying she's lesbian/queer when she hasn't said anything about that. Pretty sure if she was attracted to women she would have already said it 🫠
Even in the hypothetical scenario where she was queer indeed pressuring somebody to come out or out them yourself is selfish, stupid, dangerous, toxic and overall fucked up (-᷅_-᷄)
We have so many queer pop icons out of the closet but you need to headcanon your favourite ally/het as lgbt for...comfort reasons? Just because she's your fav? Because you are queer? Dude she's not a fictional character can you not spread false information or discuss real people orientations and just enjoy their content 💀
all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.
#saying this as bi myself btw#WHO SAYS LADY GAGA DOESN'T COUNT AS QUEER JUST BECAUSE SHE'S A BOY KISSER TOO#i'm tired of this shit#please remember that is LGBT+ NOT LGT+#bi/pan folks exist. No need to act like people is either gay or straight and there's no in between when that's clearly *false*!#And even if you aren't lgbt+ I think having this opinion of not giving real people hc sexualities/orientations is still valid#you have too much free time if you're wasting it to theorize about somebody private life while ignoring the very much confirmed queer icons#Plus. If you care sm about somebody sexuality to the point if they aren't what you want them to be you get disappointed/upset#rather than caring more about their work which they produced and you supposedly consume as a self-proclaimed fan...#Are you really a fan of them? I don't think so.#A true fan loves them for who they are or what they produce. Not because for who they feel attracted to#Imagine working your way to the top as a musician or whatever career you pursue and your fans grade your worth or their liking to you#based on who you kiss or sleep with or who you don't 💀#feeling like OOP pfp for real#this is exhausting#Idc less about who Lady Gaga kisses. Yeah having her as bi icon was important to me but if tomorrow she decides to come out as smth else#I'll keep listening her music. Because I like her music. And her personality. And some of her outfits. The end#there are many songs made by women/nb who like women iswtg#you don't need to pretend straight people isn't straight in order to like their music or to like them as a person I promise it's okay 🙏#Also what in the actual fuck is that article??? People seriously get paid for writing that? 💀💀💀💀#So sorry for all the shit you must have read in order to need to do this thread OP and afterwards too#ALSO BATMAN NAME based opinion and good taste hell yeah ✨#the you in all this post only goes to those who think like that btw. If you feel offended the problem is on you#how about taking reading comprehension classes before speaking. Some people are in dire need of it#those who believe a bi is less queer icon than a gay one is in my blacklist. If you come to me with that bs I'll block you on sight
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barin-mclegg · 2 months ago
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"Only X people experience Y thing!"
Sure.
You aren't the one that decides who experiences what form of assault, harassment, and other discrimination. I mean, you do, but only on the field of possibly adding to the list.
Literally none of those people care about using the right slur for the right person. It's just you lot.
Sometimes it's your turn to be quiet and support an oppressed group. Sometimes it's not about you.
So like. Maybe shut the fuck up sometimes and have some goddamn respect for your fellow human beings and their experience.
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tardis--dreams · 4 months ago
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Wow this really was terrible. I think I'll stay in university as compared to work it seems actually quite nice (:
#this is exactly what i wanted from this dumb job decision btw#i wanted it to be a counterpart to university so that i could distract myself from university with work and vice versa#like 'ah i hate my job. guess uni isn't so bad' and 'fuck i hate university i prefer working' are great mindsets to even each other out#let's be real i hate both#and i don't think I'll ever be satisfied with anything i do#so it's not like i have the option between something i like and something i don't like#it's always gonna be a choice between two or more evils and i just have to find the one thing#that i hate the least#but also i have to accept that there's parts of everything that I'll hate at least as much as university#if not more#and today was certainly a day that sucked so bad it made university seem almost attractive#but i know i'll hate every second of the rest of my degree no matter how bad work is#whatever#I'll quit working for today#I have 10 hours of overtime this week#overtime i do Not get paid for nor can i even it out with free time officially#(inofficially however i will be working a lot less the next few weeks. like at least 2-3 hours less per week until#I've gotten back to zero overtime)#there still needs to be done so much on monday but i think my brain already quit a few hours ago#anyway I'll go read a book now (an actual work of fiction. for fun. a new little challenge for myself ♡)#(i also ordered a bunch of books i wanna read. most of them from japanese and korean authors so if i like the korean ones#I'll get the original(s) and have some fun with practicing korean hehe)#void screams
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ame-to-ame · 5 months ago
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Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭
#i want to say i want to be someone like ayaka but in reality im probably more like hiroko#i used to be someone like ayaka. i was really tunnel visioned and i didn't consider much aside from the person i was interested in#but it's been years now and there's a lot more to consider and it's. hard and im even more scared now.#i think there's someone who im currently talking with who's trying to figure out if im into women or not and if im available or not#but it's that sort of thing where there's just. a lot in my shoulders and a lot to consider. i want a relationship eventually but.#there's just so much to consider right now. in the past i thought that as long as i could make my partner happy a rx is just btwn 2 of us#but when i did actually get into a serious long term relationship i realized that most people. do expect getting to have in laws.#people for the most part want to be loved proudly and not have to hide it. and i do too. but at the same time. i just. there's so much on me#i almost came out to my dad the other day while trying to console him. but maybe that news would just be the last straw for him. idk.#i just can't really afford to have my life be shaken up much more right now when i just rebuilt some stability.#especially when my parents are having a midlife crisis and both of them are leaning on me. my health worsening also stressed them out too.#i really thought I'd be braver and have less to worry about the older i got and the more independent i became but. ig not.#in my teens i told myself once i reached adulthood I'd be free to be myself and pursue happiness. in my 20s i tell myself after med school.#maybe once I'm finally out of med school and etc I'll have the opportunity to live my life. or maybe by then there will be another reason.#it's a real concern. i mean. sure I've never wanted kids I've always been ace and I've always liked women but. the societal pressure.#to other queer people the gaydar goes off easily but to the cishet audience i've mostly. been able to go unnoticed.#and when you're younger not having a bf or ppl you're interested in and being focused on your studies is a thing your parents are proud of#but as i get older. it's just been harder. i don't know how much longer i have before i have to conform or have the cat out of the bag.#i don't even get it sometimes. i really don't. the expectation of family and marriage is wanting happiness for your child right? but somehow#idk. idk. i really don't know. sometimes maintaining an image. might be more important than your child's feelings.#and i really can't be certain that between ego and saving face compared to me that. I'll come out on top. i really don't know.#idk. idk. i know there are ppl interested in dating me. but idk. i really need some time to process things through.#sometimes i ask myself how i would feel abt it and i really can't figure out how i feel at all.#it's ok to date someone u don't love ig. i mean. I've done it before. you can make yourself like someone after a while. but idk if i.#idk i just. i think im just really scared. and I'll need at least another month or so before anything is back on the table.#it's honestly just me running away from having to deal with sorting out thoughts and feelings 👍👍👍 which i eventually will have to face ig#but if i do fall in love ik i have it in me to sort those things out quickly i think. if im not too scared to let myself fall.#ig i just have to get more used to ppl being interested in me again ack 😭 it's easy to ignore it when dating someone but. now.#and it was fine in the summer bc i wasn't really around too many ppl my age. but. ugh. unfortunately. i do have. a face and a personality.#delete later
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