#i am immeasurably stressed right now
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wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
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Woo, it’s about time I made one of these… *cracks knuckles*
MORE ABOUT ME!!!!
HIIII!!!! My name is clegfly, or just cleg!!!! I’m an artist/ writer / professional paint drying critic/j. I’m just a silly person doing silly things, don’t mind me. I use they/them pronouns and I am aroace!!!
LIKES
BULLET POINTS BULLET POINTS BULLET POI
Pancakes. All day. All the time. Everywhere, anywhere. Pancakes
That goes for bacon too
JELLYYYYYYYYYY!!!!1!1!1!
Why are these all foods what else do I like uhhhh
Warm. And cosy bed. And fire. And all that stuff
OLD COMPUTER AESTHETIC!!!!!! N64!!! WINDOWS XP!!!! ALL THAT SHIT
Bugs in theory
PLANTS
MUSICAL THEATRE
Graphic novels
Video games… ough my beloveds
Books
Okay now this is too long
Oops
Sorry
JELLYFISH JELLYFISH JELLYFISH
The ocean full stop actually
In theory
CHINCHILLAS
Uh
Yapping
Analysis
DISLIKES
anything on my DNI >:((((
Bugs in practice
Sport
Exercise
I’m literally hero omori
Commitment
Stress
Internet drama
Anyone who gatekeeps like. Anything.
INTERESTS???
All day every day, baby.
MAINS
OMORI- main interest as apparent by one peek at my blog… The brainrot is immeasurable and everlasting. Send help. It’s been almost four years. I love this game, its characters, story, EVERYTHING so fucking much. I’m like a billion pounds in debt to it also. I will be homeless but at least I will have my big ass heromari collection.
PMMM/ Madoka Magica- my favourite show! Consisting purely of sparkles and sunshine!!!! Why are you crying??? I’m sure not!!!!
DDLC/ Doki Doki Literature Club- another favourite of mine!!! I see a well-written cast of characters I deeply relate to go through extreme horrific horror beyond any of their comprehensions and I’m SOLD!!!
Coraline- the horrors are all consuming, but at least it’s both a visual and extremely well-written treat!!!!
TADC/ the amazing digital circus- won’t lie, watched this show when the pilot dropped and LOVED it, but forgot about it after a while as it didn’t stick with me. Then episode three came out and I’m now reduced to a blubbering mess whose brain is now significantly comprised of two fictional chess pieces. What happened? I don’t know. Send even more help.
LITTLE GUYS THAT HURT MY BRAIN SOMETIMES
Petscop
Fnaf
BATIM/ bendy and the ink machine
BSD
Deltarune
Undertale
Hawaii: Part II
SUBJECT TO CHANGE BECAUSE IM PROBABLY FORGETTING LIKE 20 AND ALSO HAVE LIKE 20 STILL TO DISCOVER
HOBBIES?!2!2!
Ya!!!! :D
Art
The main thing I do on my silly little page!!
…in which the art is mostly unfinished doodles… but that’s okay!!!! We ball anyway
YOU CAN SEND THE CLEG REQUESTS!!!!! ALL DAY ANY DAY UNLESS I SAY OTHERWISE!!!! Do not expect premium quality though lmao. (And also nothing related to DNI. Shouldn’t have to say this but. Uh. Yeah)
You cannot yet commission the cleg :(
Writing
Currently on a writing hiatus and have been for a little while (5 MONRHS WHAT) but… i do!!!! That!!!! Aka I write fan fiction AGH
Mostly. Heromari stuff. Actually all heromari stuff. I think I have one fic that isn’t heromari and it’s one I co-authored I love them your honour…
Yeah
DNI
Bit of a bummer, but I gotta set my boundaries to keep the weirdos out!! That being said, do NOT interact with my blog whatsoever if you:
Are a shotacon, lolicon, proshipper, pedo, etc etc etc. (yucky. Yuck yuck yuck. Fuck off)
Are homophobic
Are transphobic
Are aphobic/ arophobic (why. Why are you even still here)
Queerphobic in general actually get OUT!!!!
Actively shit on any of my main interests. Like ACTIVELY go out of your way to tell me how bad it is (what. What is the point. Just go)
NSFW is on thin ice but I will likely just block the tag if you post about it... however PLEASE keep it away from me I am very sex repulsed and WILL block you ON SIGHT!!!
Are racist/ xenophobic
There is likely LOTS more I’m forgetting so I will update this later… also just saying I reserve the right to block ANYONE no matter if you fit into this criteria or not. If I don’t vibe with you I will politely block you and look the other way!!! No theatrics required
Anyway with all the negative stuff out of the way… I really hope you enjoy my blog!!! I’m just here to have fun honestly and express my ideas and passions and work on a little page of the internet so!!!! Hope you have fun too!!!! :D
#omori#omori au#heromari#intro#introduction#intro post#pmmm#puella magi madoka magica#madoka magica#ddlc#doki doki literature club#tadc#the amazing digital circus#petscop#fnaf#batik#bsd#deltarune#undertale#hawaii part ii#art#writing#fanfiction#omori fanfiction#dni#little heromari shipper box is by omori-archive btw
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fuck everything. i'm going to send in this awful assignment that has caused me such immeasurable stress. i'm going to do it right now. right the fuck now. if my teacher does not give me a passing grade i will kill the both of us in the very classroom we stand. i do not give a fuck anymore. i am done with feeling so terribly over a three-question piece of homework.
#random thoughts#i'm going to be like this in college aren't i.#was like that in middle school. was like that in high school. still there and like that.#now if you'll excuse me i am going to go to history class and hand in my paper and try to distract myself from how physically ill i feel.#so much so that it is almost scary.
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨♥୧⋆ ˚。⋆MK Intros Part 3⋆ ˚。⋆୨♥୧⋆ ˚。⋆
warning: flirty
AN: im sorry for being so inconsistent but im back neow^^ Also reader is basically like empress Mileena in this
“I never thought being an empress would be this lonely ”
“I am always here for you empress, in any ways you need me”
“Couldn’t have come at a better time”
———<3———
“I must applaud you empress, you have done marvels for the people of Outworld”
“Getting such a compliment from THE Liu Kang, today must be my lucky day”
“Empress, I hope you realize that I can give you so much more to feel good about”
“Are you sure the people of Outworld will be able to see me fit to rule”
“If they know you like I do, they will”
“As grateful as I am with your words, only you are allowed to know me in those ways”
———<3———
“Thank you for helping me finally enact revenge on Shang Tsung and his advocates”
“I’m just happy all those stressful and somber days are away from us now”
“I will always be immeasurably grateful to have found someone like you”
“Seeing as how your status may bring danger to you, it is vital that I stay close to you at all times”
“You already do Tanya”
“I mean at all times, I’m not letting my eyes off you”
———<3———
“I’m in the mood to kombat, do you think you can tackle me?”
“As long as it’s for a good while”
“We are still talking about sparring, right?”
Credits to @solidsmax @goddesscetrion and @cosmicdes for the gifs<3
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Ok, hear me out (angst, bc of course)
I've been having these thoughts bounce around my head for about a week and I finally decided to post them. I don't know who's going to see this, but whoever sees it needed to. I guess this is for an AU rather than a headcanon, but whatever, just hear me out. I was inspired by The Owl House, specifically Hunter, so maybe that will spark some interest. This is about to be a rant, so I'll go ahead and add the read more thing
Okay, now that I have your attention, time for angst.
SO, in The Owl House, we learn in season 2 that (SPOILER ALERT) Hunter is a grimwalker (a clone of someone who died for those of you who don't know), and that before him, there were TONS of other grimwalkers that Belos murdered for "choosing to betray him" AKA realizing that Belos was an evil psychotic bitch. Also, that Hunter looked the most like Caleb (the dead guy he was cloned of) out of all the other grimwalkers, but he didn't KNOW that he was a grimwalker until a very angsty reveal by his abuser (Belos) who then immediately tried to murder his ass.
ANYWAYS, obviously, as the angst-lover I am, I think about this literally all the time. Then. I started thinking. I absolutely love Alastor, he's such a blorbo. And what do I do to my blorbos? I give them immeasurable amounts of trauma, c'mon, keep up.
What do we know about Alastor? Well, someone owns his soul. He disappeared for unknown reasons for seven years. He is INCREDIBLY anxious about whoever owns his soul - or at least the deal itself (as evidenced by his musical breakdown where he literally TEARS HIS OWN HAIR OUT FROM THE STRESS), and that he's probably going to use the deal with Charlie either for nefarious purposes, or to escape his deal.
Which brings us to the point of this post in the first place (kind of???? I might have just been mindlessly rambling there), and the start of my AU. I'm not going to pretend I know who owns Alastor's soul, but I really vibe with the idea of it being either Lilith or Roo, so that's who I'll be thinking of for the majority of this post. What if the person who owns his soul made a deal with him when he first got to hell (or it could be one of those versions where someone sold his soul before he was even born [a sort of "I want your first-born kinda deal] and they let him know when he got to hell which is how he got all his power so quickly), but he managed to either tick them off or get really close to escaping the deal, which lead to them killing Alastor.
Then, the contract-owner realizes, "Oh shit, I kind of need him," and finds out how to make whatever the hell equivalent of a grimwalker is. Thus, Alastor 2.0 is born. However, they can't have him knowing he's a clone - he might find a loophole in the deal that way. So they find a way to control which memories he has. They replace all of the memories the OG Alastor had up until whatever it was he did to get killed in the first place - don't want him getting any ideas after all.
This works fine for the contract-holder for a while, but then Alastor is back on the same shit - trying to find loopholes, backdoors, ticking them off, whatever, and oops, there goes another one. Well shit. Guess it's time to make another clone. So, the process is repeated, and the song and dance continues. However, it always concludes the same way - with Alastor's inevitable "betrayal". Also, none of the clones ever seem to look quite right - sometimes the eye color is wrong, or the height, the cheekbones, or the nose shape - whatever it is, something is always off
So, after many failed attempts, they decide to take a different approach. When they make the new clone, they give them the same memories, everything is the same as the previous attempts, except they don't turn him loose right away. Instead, they keep him under their thumb for seven years - really just until there was something they needed him for. Those seven years were spent conditioning him. They were determined to make him perfect. After all, this clone was the one that looked the most like the original Alastor, there was no way they would let him go like the others.
In his time at their side, Alastor endured unspeakable cruelties - beatings, torture, extreme sensory deprivation, emotional manipulation, sleep deprivation, total isolation - you name it, it was almost certainly done during that time. This is also when his smile was sewn on because the contract holder wanted him to smile more, and used his defense mechanism to torture him (smiled to hide weakness, forced to smile against his will, making the smile itself a constant reminder of how powerless he really is). There was rarely an action Alastor did that provoked his contract holder, but that didn't matter. They convinced him that each "punishment" was earned, that they were simply trying to help him see his own shortcomings and failures, and to make him better. Obviously, this is complete bullshit. However, when you live like that long enough, with no other influences, you become conditioned to believe it.
Eventually, for whatever reason, the contract holder released Alastor on strict orders to go to Charlie's hotel, and Alastor is doing exactly what they told him because he's terrified of the idea of being summoned back to their side. He hates his contract holder, but at the same time craves their approval, because if they're happy with him, then he won't be in pain. However, Alastor has to Alastor, and once he's on his own, he starts looking for ways to escape his deal - but he's sneaky about it. Years of constant conditioning made him cautious. He has no memory of ever searching for loopholes before - a least not successfully (bc the contract holder doesn't let the clones remember those things), so he does the best thing he can think of: he makes a deal with the Princess of Hell herself.
I'm definitely going to make another post about this, probably detailing the reveal. Not right now though because I have homework to do, and this is getting to ungodly lengths
(if you want to see the next part when I post it, keep an eye on the '#grimwalker alastor au' tag. I might just make this a whole thing if anyone is interested. I'll make it a whole thing anyways because I feel like it and deep down I post for myself, but if you're interested, I highly encourage you to ask about it [I don't bite!!])
#alastor#hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor angst#this idea has had me in a chokehold for the past week#alastor headcanons#toh hunter#grimwalker#mentions of the owl house#grimwalker alastor au#I would say this got away from me except I knew exactly what I was doing#uhhh#long post#alastor's deal#tw mentions of abuse#TW mentions of torture#hazbin hotel au
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Us rolling over over here with a handful of stars and hearts to spread all over when you deserve all of the best!!! Sammyyyy it must be said that you are truly one of the coolest and sweetest folks to exist ever!!! You're always very kind and lovely to us and those around you. Anyone would be so blessed to get to meet you and have you as a friend. Your presence is as warm as the sun and bright as infinite stars! Whenever we get a notification or a reply from you, it's like getting a quick happy hug! I always get so happy when we see you on dash or notifs while we always wish you the best of all. It's always an absolute joy chatting with you as well while I enjoy all of our conversations that we have so far. Your portrayals are wonderful, also! You're so passionate and dedicated to every muses you pick up, I'm constantly amazed by the endless love and care you put out in their dialogues, personalities, general headcanons, etcetera. Like with Timothy for an example, I can always be able to envision him perfectly from your incredible writings and even your headcanons speak volume of his character so amazingly well. Truly, do you make everything and everywhere so much more funner and brighter. No places can be the same without ya! The world needs more kind folks like you. We're super duper happy we could meet and befriend ya, Samstar! You're so amazing. Thank you for being an amazing friend and person overall! We're sending you so much love and light, always!!! 💖✨💖✨💖✨
@devours || ‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
(/ε\*) you guuuuuys !!! 💖
first of all, did you just . . . know I was heading into a bad week or something? (◕‸ ◕✿) i s2g, the timing for this sweet and most loving message is insane in the way that you legit sent it right when i needed it and i'm legit in shock over that gnhajogdhnjao you're truly too incredible in too many ways and i cannot even being to express how much this means to me in general, but especially right now—
thank you thank you thank you!! (⺣◡⺣)♡*
i realize i'm a broken record at this point, but i do in turn want you to know how much you guys mean to me and how grateful i am that i met you ! (´⌣`ʃƪ) you're one of the first people i've engaged in a long thread with on timmy's account, and i'll never forget how welcoming and supportive you were from the very start (and continue to prove to be!). it warms my heart that not only were tim and micah able to just so immediately click together, but we as their writers had the same thing happen, and it really lends itself to a long-term friendship here that i'm so excited to have the privilege to pursue with you! (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡
your talent is immeasurable, okay? i can't possibly say that enough. your presence is always a warmth on my dash i value so much, and i love that you're always just so pleasant and encouraging to all of your rp partners. it's something this site definitely needs more of, so thank you for setting a great example for all of us. ♡
sending so much love and light back atcha! thank you again so so much for this sweet message! it's definitely brightened a stressful week!
#ミ★ « ooc »#ミ★ « save »#solarisgod#aaaaaa omg i legit felt my face heat up when i read this earlier today! ;^;#you already offer me so much support i really don't understand HOW i've deserved but like#to go out of your way to send this ??? and to send this NOW of all times?#bless you all so much ;; we appreciate everything you do!
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I always have thought you were really beautiful and cool and really just an inspiration to us all. I'd never met another Bambi before I found your blog and I'm really thankful that I did.
It's one of those things that really helped me find out who I am and made me realize some things about my gender and sexuality, so thank you!
You're absolutely incredible!
STOP I am literally crying my eyes out right now, you have no idea how much this touched my heart and soul. Thank you so, so much anon. It gives me immeasurable amounts of euphoria and happiness to inspire people and help people figure out their own identity. Queer identities are very tricky and can be hard to find out for yourself, and it can be stressful and can make you unhappy to not know what you feel. To give someone that happiness, to change their life; that is what helps me thrive. I *live* and will die for this community. I love all of you so much and I can't even find the words to express my joy and thankfulness for all of you. Thank you. 🩷
#lesbian#lesbian blog#wlw blog#lesbo#queer#dyke#queer community#wlw#dykeposting#sappho#bambi lesbian#asexual#femme lesbian#femme dyke#high femme#femme#wlw community#wlw post#sapphism#sapphic blog#sapphic#anon ask#April Answers
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I love Kiyoka, but I swear he really is an idiot!
Last week, Miyo and Kiyoka had their first fight when Arata had riled up Kiyoka by accusing him of neglecting Miyo's health to the point she almost collapsed. Kiyoka was upset, but received a further shock when he discovered Arata's connection to his secret investigation to locate the Usuba family to find a solution to Miyo's nightmares. Provoked by Arata's words and discovery as well as combined with stress from his job/impatience with getting to Miyo open up about her nightmares, Kiyoka yelled at Miyo!
He took out his frustrations with her and in the heat of the moment, says he regrets giving Miyo the chance to study, driving her to tears and faints in his arms. Kiyoka is riddled with guilt and finds Arata's business card fall out of Miyo's kimono. Kiyoka drives off with an unconscious Miyo in the night to confront Arata and finally get to the bottom of this mystery.
In the next episode, Kiyoka and Miyo will confront Arata and the Head of the Tsuriki family, who admits they are the infamous Usaba family and state their intentions they want Miyo! A duel is decided and whoever wins gets to keep Miyo, especially since Miyo says she doesn't care whether she stays with the Kudo's or Usaba!
Anyway the reason why I say that Kiyoka is an idiot is because of his actions afterwards and EXTREME Lack of Communication towards Miyo! I AM FIRMLY on Miyo's side since she was thrown to the wind without any warning whatsoever! (Hazuki was right, Kiyoka is NOT the best at communicating)
Warning! From here on the rest will contain spoilers from the Light Novels! Read at Your Own Risk!
Poor Miyo had no idea of anything about what is going on! She had no idea Kiyoka knew about her nightmares. The reason she didn't tell him wasn't because she didn't trust him, but because she didn't want to trouble or burden him since his work got increasingly more busy.
When Miyo regains consciousness, she is filled with guilt and regret over what she said to Kiyoka, but when she sees him again, Kiyoka completely remains silent towards her! Miyo thinks Kiyoka doesn't want be with her anymore and believes she has wasted all the kindness he has given her. Miyo feels immeasurably guilty and blames herself! What's worse, she had no idea that Kiyoka was investigating the Usaba family and so he basically threw her to the wolves which ends up changing her life FOREVER!
The Usaba's reveal they want Miyo back, but Kiyoka refuses and so everyone turns to Miyo and asks what she wants. Miyo wants to stay with Kiyoka, but since he didn't take the time to explain things or apologize for their fight and believing he doesn't want to be with her anymore, Miyo lies that she doesn't care which family she ends up with!
I can't say I blame her! Seriously who could possibly blame her after being thrown into a situation like that she had absolutely no knowledge of! All she was trying to do was handle her own problems alone as best she can and now her fiance yells at her and her mother's family wants her! WHAT DID MIYO DO TO DESERVE THIS!!! ALL THE GIRL WANTS IS SOME PEACE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!
#My Happy Marriage#My Thoughts#Anime#Netflix#Miyo x Kiyoka#Miyo Saimori#Kiyoka Kudo#It's a relief to finally get this off my chest#Light Novel
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Life stuff update!
Haven't posted about this first bit anywhere because... wow personal, but it's been a majority chunk of life lately.
Husband put in his notice at his current teaching job a while back. He's been working there for 8 years and is supposedly one of their most valued teachers, yet he barely takes home $100 more per paycheck than when he started. Plus our insurance is insane, taking most of his check every month whilst covering literally fucking nothing (we are still paying off my doctor-ordered biopsy!). PLUS his commute is fucking ludicrous - in the winter he regularly drives over 3 hours a day to a shit job that doesn't pay anything. I barely see him for a hour or two each day during the school year.
Bio clock is ticking, just saying. Never really had that baby-wanting impulse until very recently, and there was absolutely zero possibility of us starting a family while he's at this job. No money, no time, no medical support.
So. Bye. After talking to a therapist to help us through the plunge, we finally decided enough was enough.
He doesn't have another job lined up after summer school, so in August we have zero certain income. Neither off us is particularly panicked about this; the hiring wave for fall teaching positions has yet to happen, and there are several things he can do even if he can't find a full-time job at a local district.
What's looking most likely is actually that he'll juggle part-time jobs for a while. Subbing or other work at a district he's interested in will help him get a foot in the door, meanwhile an afternoon or weekend cashier job at the co-op down the street (where I used to work) has some distinct benefits. First off, he could WALK to work, and the co-op offers higher hourly rates and better promotional opportunities than his current "salaried" teaching job. Add on a big discount at the place where we buy most of our groceries anyway...
Anyway. That's been a lot.
Meanwhile I've been doing the housewife thing. Which actually entails more than just "chores" - I've been doing a huuuuge amount of work on my mental and physical health. I've lost 40 pounds (with 60+ to go) and have completely changed my eating, which has helped immeasurably with CFS, Depression, and life in general. I've started socializing again after years of serious, life-altering anxiety. Basically, I'm getting my life back. Or maybe getting my life for the first time? I was so mentally ill for so long that this really feels like the first time I've been genuinely balanced... maybe ever?
Whether that new peace of mind encourages me back into fandom I have no idea. Fandom social mores seem to have shifted over the years. Maybe it's just the glimpses I see now and then, but the Internet as a whole doesn't seem too anonymous or even like... baseline compassionate for anyone anymore. That's probably a matter of what you make of it, but even so, I'd be lying if I said spending my time in fandom spaces hasn't lost most of its personal appeal. I've been much happier offline, so that's where I've been. I do miss my friends, and I wish they lived down the street and not inside the scary computron. It'd be great to write again, but my interest in fandom work might be over. I'll never say never, but right now I just don't see it. Maybe someday I finally get back into the habit; but it's gonna happen in its own time if it does.
Lately I've been working on my YouTube thing, though where that'll end up nobody knows. It's certainly not a serious money-making prospect, nor am I aiming to make it one. YouTube actually scares the ever-loving shit out of me, so it's pretty much a deliberate mental health exercise. My whole attitude toward it has been "stress less, make more." So I treat it kind of like a journal of the nail shit that has taken over my life (lolllll), and a chance to pay forward all the relaxation I've gotten over the years watching Nail YouTube. It'd be nice if I could eventually have enough subs to maybe pay for some nail supplies or get some free PR or something, but that's about as ambitious as I get.
Okay my fingers are tired
love you byyyyyeeeeeeeeee
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My Ex Is Here, And My Day Is Ruined.
That’s James. What the hell is he doing here? He’s a junior in his program, isn’t he? Shouldn’t he be an intern somewhere now? Why is he working here?
James: Hello, my name is Jim, and I’ll be your server today. Have we decided on drinks?
I don’t think he recognizes me... Should I be happy about that...?
Mammon: Cola for me!
Levi: Grape Fanta.
Satan: Pinot noir.
Asmo: Riesling~
Beel: Three colas.
Belphie: Mint tea.
Lucifer: Black tea. Hot, preferably.
James: And for you, miss?
Annelie starts.
Annelie: What he said.
Lucifer: Annelie, are you alright?
Annelie: Yeah... fine.
James: I’ll be right back with your drinks.
As James walks away, Lucifer gently takes hold of her hand.
Lucifer: Annelie, what’s the matter? What happened?
The memories are coming back in spades is what happened. The things I told him about myself, the shit we did together. The way it came to an end.
Annelie: ...I don’t think I should tell you.
Lucifer: You know that concerns me more than anything else. Talk to me. Please.
Annelie: You’re not going to like it.
Lucifer: I don’t care.
Annelie: But I care. We just got through something terrifying, and I don’t want to shove this onto your plate too.
Lucifer: Your plate is my plate, Annelie. I take just as much issue with you being stressed as you do with me being stressed, so just tell me what’s wrong.
Annelie: ...that was my ex-boyfriend.
Lucifer: ...
The table suddenly falls eerily silent.
Mammon: He didn’t hurtcha, did he?
Annelie blinks at Mammon, then at the others, who seem just about ready to leap out of their seats.
Holy shit.
Mammon: I can beat him up for ya.
Satan: Forget that, just kill him.
Lucifer: Killing would be too good.
Annelie: Er, okay, calm down before your murderous intent starts to become visible. Yes, he hurt me, but it was NORMAL, okay!?
Annelie clings to Lucifer’s arm as he makes to stand up, actively dragging him down into his seat.
Lucifer: There’s nothing normal about someone hurting you.
Annelie: It was just messy? It wasn’t pleasant, but it’s over. You don’t have to get so feral over a human.
Lucifer: ...
James returns and starts handing out drinks while several of the brothers glare at him. He shifts uncomfortably, his eyes flicking towards Lucifer, who seems the calmest as he drinks his tea. Underneath the table, his magic flickers like electricity.
James: So... do you have an idea of what to order...?
No one answers him.
Annelie: My boyfriend will have the Firecracker Drunken Noodles, and I’ll have the Hellish Crab Bisque.
James: Haah... Got it.
James pauses for a moment, staring at Annelie before his attention turns towards the boys putting in their orders.
James: Are you celebrating anything today?
He makes a vague gesture to Annelie’s and Lucifer’s apparel.
Lucifer: I’m celebrating the fact that my lover is mine and only mine.
Lucifer takes another sip of tea.
James: ...
Lucifer: ...
Annelie: It’s our anniversary.
James: I see. I’ll tell the chef.
He shivers as he walks away again, nervously rubbing the back of his neck as he does so.
Lucifer: Why don’t you tell me exactly how he hurt you?
Annelie: Lucifer, I really appreciate it, believe me, but this is not worth hiking up your cortisol levels. Please calm down?
Annelie squeezes his hand, and he lets out a long, slow sigh.
Lucifer: Fine, but... what happened? How did you break up?
Am I getting the third degree now?
Annelie: It was just... we weren’t really on the same page. I always felt like somewhere in his head, he considered me as just... something less than him. We spent a lot of time together, but I’m not sure if he ever really knew me for who I was. I’ve always thought of “love” as an immeasurably deep bond, but I don’t think he ever felt that strongly about me. We broke up because I told him I didn’t enjoy spending time with him anymore, and... well, that’s more or less how we stopped talking.
Better not to mention how badly he handled me saying I didn’t enjoy spending time around him as much as he did around me. If Lucifer hears that he called me a whore while he was upset, James will be leaving this restaurant in a body bag...
Lucifer: I have a feeling there’s quite a few things you left out of that report, but I’ll let you go until after we eat.
Annelie: You’re going to extract every detail of our relationship from me, aren’t you?
Lucifer: Yes, and you’d better believe you won’t remember a single detail after I’m done with you.
Annelie: ;;;;
James: Your appetizers, gentlemen and, uh lad(ies?). Don't want to assume.
James starts setting out the appetizers Beel ordered, passing plates down the table. Underneath Annelie’s is a note that reads:
Can we talk after my shift ends?
#aw hell naw#luci not gonna be happy#body bag#obey me lucifer#obey me shall we date#shameless#self indulgence#fanfiction#obey me!#LuciAnne
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Hope you’re enjoying season two of ofmd so far!
I’m asking #11 and #34 for the fanfiction writers ask game. :)
I AM ENJOYING IT IMMEASURABLY AND INEXPRESSIBLY, YES, THANK YOU <333
11: Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?
ooh, a good question. i mean, taking a look at my ao3 history (and a not inconsiderable amount of my original work...), I'd probably say, like, complex emotional realities/vulnerability, mundane obstacles, and growth? and the messy space where they exist together. just thinking about, like, hold fast, happy ending, making home, terrible things, closure, good officer... fuck it, even chancellors and changes of heart XD they're all about, to some extent or another, people making it through the everyday, learning to forgive themselves and each other, learning to be vulnerable, choosing happiness and love...
34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.
ah shit, this one's HARD. uhhhhhh.........
tell you what, I AM still really fond of the floral fantasy sequence from Making Home!
Now, Dika, weave the aniseed together, flower and stem, With your soft hands, crown yourself with a lovely diadem Because the blessed Graces grant gifts to the garlanded And snub the worshipper with no flowers on her head. He closes his eyes after perhaps the fifth mental recitation, and savours the memory of Jon’s hands against the side of his face, affixing a little yellow flower in his hair — the blessed Graces grant gifts to the garlanded. He wishes he could lay wreaths upon Jon, crown and adorn him to invite every blessing upon him. He imagines roses and columbines, sprays of lilacs and pansies, and heavy bushels of wisteria; petals and leaves, flower and stem, adorning Jon’s hair, tucked behind his ears or draped over his brow in coronets, braided into the strands when it was still long and glorious, looped around his neck, over his shoulders, down to his hands. He wants to festoon Jon with beauty, until he understands just how gorgeous and cherished he is, until the Graces (whoever they are) finally grant him something that isn’t pain, or suffering, or horror. Martin would kiss him like that, with every drop of tenderness he could squeeze from his heart amidst the heavy, drowsy perfume of the flowers, drowning in their power as much as he would in Jon’s lips, sweeter than any nectar. He imagines Jon tasting of rosewater or lavender tea, unwound and happy for once instead of his awfully familiar stress, strain, and terror. “Everything all right, Martin?” Martin trips out of his reverie, eyes snapping open to the sight of Jon returning from the loo, soft, small, and frail in the doorway to the bedroom, but still determinedly present. Any sacrifice must surely be worth that fact — be worth the open chance to garland him with aniseed.
#ask#likethehotsauce#ask memes#Togas writes things#i wasn't really expecting a response lol so sorry this is so late! XD#thinking of an excerpt was NOT easy#but literally i regularly drink lavender tea now and the only reason i started was because of writing that sequence XD
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Sometimes I wanna talk about the very real ways in which Arthur Fleck saved my life in 2019, but I never do so to the full extent because a) it would most likely trigger some people and I don’t wanna do that at all, especially not in the name of expressing myself, and b) some things are meant to stay between you and the bathroom floor at 3am.
It’s impressive how many times Arthur Fleck has given me the strength to save myself, to scoop myself up off the floor at 3am after crying my eyes out, to not follow my intrusive thoughts of cutting all my hair off because I feel so often like I don’t deserve happiness and my hair is one of the few parts of my body I truly love and feel a connection to, to make a meal when I would rather skip and let myself rot, to not want to go to work but doing it anyway because I know it’s what he would want, to take my time brushing my hair because he wouldn’t want me to hurt myself just to get it done faster, to take care of myself when I just don’t care anymore, to try when I don’t think I have it in me anymore… the amount of strength, joy, courage, determination, and “I’ll just do it for one more day” I’ve received from him, is immeasurable. I got a job in a care home, which gifts me with the opportunity of being able to help people because he inspired that in me. I’m doing a psychology with counselling honours degree because I want to help the real life Arthurs of the world, like my brother, who slip between the societal cracks never to return again unless someone is willing to dig them out. He changed my life, saved it, made it better, taught me better ways of being, healthier ways.
Arthur Fleck really DID save my life, he saved me in 2019 and many a time since, and I’ll forever and ever and ever be grateful for the fact that the world got gifted with such a phenomenal character. I’ll truly carry him with me forever, always trying to do and be in ways he would be proud of, as a way to honour all the things he’s given me the strength to do, all the times he’s helped me to save myself. I would not be HERE, I would not be who I am or where I am, if it hadn’t been for Arthur. It sounds so dramatic, but I can’t properly articulate the seriousness of this post. The people who know, though, know.
I just… I’m curled up in bed right now watching Joker and eating coffee ice cream to sign off the end of another busy day which is full of too much work, too much stress, and not enough time. My body isn’t enough, most days, for all the things I have to squeeze into one day every day, but here right now, under my Joker blanket and hugging my Joker cushion while I watch the film and let my body and mind rest, I feel the most at peace I’ve been all week. My chest is still a little tight, but by the end of the film, that’ll totally go away. Arthur literally and metaphorically makes it easier to breathe and that’s everything.
It seems a bit… redundant to say that I love Arthur Fleck, but I do. I really do.
#tw; vent#tw; suicidal ideation#(implication only but still obvious enough that I feel the need to tag it)#this is mostly an appreciation post for our clown boy
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#how do ppl get through the days#everything is so depressing right now#the whole world is so fucking depressing#i feel like my chest is going to collapse in on itself#i feel like a star already dead just waiting for the rest of the universe to catch up and recognise me for the flaming corpse that i am#literally everything is so overwhelming#too much of everything wverywhere at all times#i just want to stop#just calm down#for a minute an hour#i just want to find peace#i want to be happy#like i am happy for periods of time#but then im alone and i just get flattened by the weight of the world and my thoughts#like someone tell my brain to slow down#im going to another applintment with this new therapist on thursday and hmm#i hope it goes better than lqst time#when she told me to just stop thinking about whats causing me this immeasurable stress and pain#like yeah if it was that easy i wouldve done it by now u fucking weirdo#and if it doesnt go well then#i suppose im back to trying to find a good therapist#fuck my life bottom text#anyway from here on out no one is allowed to give me bad news
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stood up- b. barnes
pairings: bucky barnes x reader, anderson x reader (?) warnings: angst, getting stood up, language, unrequited feelings about: prompts (DA29) “i got stood up.” + (DF30) “i think you’re my soulmate.” +(DF41) “are you going to cry? please don’t cry. a/n: i love to hurt but dw it’s a happy ending, i actually like this fjsk, a the time i finished this, i just posted another imagine, so i can’t wait for you guys to read this one in a couple days
every passing second makes you hyperaware of all the sympathetic stares that are currently directed at you. the feeling of pity is enveloping you whole, wrapping you in a thin layer of shame that you think must be related to the careful makeup you caked on your face for this date. your recently manicured nails scratch at the tablecloth, trying to avoid your new expensive dress, deep midnight color clinging to your nervous self. teeth stress your dark wine bottom lip, anxious eyes darting across the restaurant.
with each face that enters the place, none of them being his, the presumption that he isn’t coming solidifies. with it, comes the embarrassment. you can feel the warnings of tears, already threatening to ruin the mascara you had applied so carefully, not bothering to choose the waterproof one because why would you be crying on your date?
you suppose it’s your own fault- how dare you attempt to get over bucky? how dare you trust the words of a shield agent? you pick at your nails, gathering up the courage to stand up and leave. your waitress, however, beats you to it, a faux apologetic look on her face. “oh, so you’ve been here for, like, half an hour and it seems no one is coming, and we kind of need the table, so…”
you hold back an uncomfortable cringe, nodding stiffly as you stand. “right. i’m sorry. i don’t need to… pay for the water, right?” you ask dumbly, ducking your head when she shakes her head condescendingly.
pushing the door open, you step into the brisk air of the night, clouded over with an uneasy disappointment that you’re sure is because of you. you stand for a second to look at the stars, realizing how pretty of a night this would be if you weren’t so damn frustrated. the upset hasn’t passed yet, although the beginnings of anger are peeking up in your stomach.
while you stare up at the moon, the universe decides your getting stood up wasn’t enough, choosing to gift you with cold droplets of water that make your mascara run. it’s unbelievable, you nearly scoff tearily.
you walk to your car then, the moonlight that should have been romantic when you walked out of the restaurant now only making you feel lonely. you don’t let the tears come yet, having enough pride to not let the smitten couples appreciating the romance of the rain see you cry, deciding to put that off until you’re in the quietness of your room.
you drive in the sound of the pattering rain, concentrated on keeping your breathing even so as to push back the tears, not wanting to have an accident on the way back home because your vision was clouded over with sadness.
-
the relief you feel when you arrive at the compound is immeasurable; the knowledge that all you have to do is walk quietly to your room, and you can release the pent up emotions that eat you whole is unbelievably satisfying. the horrible itching feeling that comes with the tears arrives again when you notice your reflection in the impressively clean windows of the stark compound. through the stains of your ruined makeup, you can see the remnants of how dolled up you were, how much time was spent with the intricate details that made you smile when you looked at yourself in the mirror.
you swallow back the painful lump in your throat, opening the doors and sniffling at the dimly-lit room. your heels click tiredly on the floor, precious bracelet lightly jangling when you move. you can’t find it in yourself to care when you realize you’re dragging water inside, resigning to letting stark lecture you in the morning.
as you stand in the elevator, waiting for it to reach your floor, the emotions you’ve pushed so far down decide to spring back up in the form of an overwhelming dejected exhaustion that makes you physically slump. you lean against the cool of the metal railing, shutting your eyes hard to avoid looking at yourself. you only pry your eyes open when you hear the soft ding of the elevator, surprised and once again embarrassed to see bucky standing between the open doors.
“y/n?” he asks quietly. his demeanor immediately changes when he takes you in, body softer in the way it always is when you’re with him. his reaction makes you fall deeper, which reminds you exactly why you were going on your failed date. you straighten, clearing your throat, “um- i have to get to my room.”
your voice is thin, heightening his worries and stopping you with a gentle hand to your arm before you step off the elevator, “what’s wrong? what happened? are you okay?” he asks, and you nod blindly at all of his questions, realizing that the longer you stay with him- with his warm hand that you can’t help but lean into pressed against your cold arm- the more you really want to cry and scream because it’s not fair that he’s been given to you, yet you can’t have him, even if he has you.
“i’m fine,” you lie obviously, forcing your eyes again from his. “y/n, what happened? you’re clearly not fine,” bucky pushes, the hand on your arm beginning to rub stressed circles into your skin. you give up then, looking back at him. “i got stood up,” you say finally, words cracked. you shake your head, “and i just spent so much time on everything and-”
“that’s stupid. who would stand you up?” bucky interrupts, eyes genuinely confused while you scoff. “apparently anderson from security,” you respond bitterly, looking away. “he’s stupid, y/n. he has to be to not go to a date with you.”
you exhale frustratedly, “maybe not. maybe there’s something wrong with me and i’m the stupid one for even thinking someone would want to go out with me,” you countered. “hey, no, you are- you are amazing, y/n. amazing and stunning and intelligent and he missed his chance to be the luckiest guy in the world,” he insisted, gently pulling your attention back to him with a gentle hand on your cheek. you give him a watery laugh through the loud, unfair questions in your head: why don’t you love me like i love you, then?
you don’t realize the tears that run down the streaks of already ruined mascara until bucky points them out, wiping them away with his fingers, “no, no, don’t cry, please don’t cry,” he begs. you can’t help it, though, biting your lip to hold back your unrequited confessions of love.
“nobody wants me. i don’t even think i want me anymore,” you weep, oblivious to the breaking of bucky’s heart when he hears your words, pulling you flush against his chest. “don’t say that, doll. that’s not true-”
“it is. what other reasons can you think of that explain why i’m the only one that’s shown up to the rare dates i’ve been on? why have i had to go on those stupid dates just to forget how pathetic i am that i can’t get over you?”
you’re too deep in the ocean of your thoughts to realize what you’ve said, too little light available in the dark to let you realize the hints you have and will undoubtedly let out if you continue blubbering into bucky’s shoulder like the mess you are. your feelings are scattered, words so disorganized that any way you piece them together will be a mistake. “why else does the one person who i actually want to love me back not want me?”
bucky can make sense of the words you’re saying, the heavy weight they carry when he realizes exactly what they mean, and what you imply. he’s frozen, heart simultaneously fluttering at the mere thought of his feelings being returned and breaking at the cries you’re letting out because of him.
he’s refused to ever be the source of your pain, restricting his own poems of confessions because he didn’t want to hurt you, never wanting to be the reason you cried. he supposes now it was the wrong choice, one he needs to fix.
the bead of insecurity buried stubbornly in his mind shrieks, however, because he’s as clueless as you are and can’t possibly imagine someone like you- so kind and pure and good- loving him back. so he needs to make sure, needs to hear you say it in your voice.
“what?” you let out a watery scoff, full of embarrassment rather than annoyance at him, “don’t make me say it, bucky, please-”
“please say it- i- i need you to say it.”
a beat of silence passes before you sniffle, pulling away from the man you’ve called your best friend and wanted nothing but to be able to call him more. “i love you, bucky. in a way that makes me pretty sure you’re my soulmate because i don’t even believe in that but you make me feel like i should.”
bucky’s storm clouds lighten, doubts dissolving when he listens to what you said, tasting your words and examining each one just to remember it. he pulls your lips to his when they’ve barely processed. “you should,” he says when he pulls away for a second, only to make you lose your breath again when he aches for you immediately, kissing you again, “believe in soulmates.”
“why is that?” you ask breathlessly, letting him pull you back in because you both have been waiting- dreaming about this for so damn long, and he isn’t sure he’ll ever be able to keep away from you now that he has you. he presses a sloppy kiss to your lips, so perfectly imperfect when your teeth clash and you both laugh gently, noses nudging each other when he leans his forehead on yours, “because we’re meant to be, y/n. in that way that soulmates are.”
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fanfic#angst bucky barnes#fluff bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff#fluff bucky barnes#angsty bucky barnes x reader#fluffy bucky barnes#angsty bucky barnes#fluffy bucky barnes imagine#fluffy bucky barnes x y/n#fluffy bucky x reader#angsty bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fluff fanfic#bucky barnes angst fanfic#bucky barnes fluffy fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfiction angst#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfic angst#bucky barnes fanfic fluff#bucky barnes fluffy fanfic#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes imagine
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What if Qui-Gon Jinn was not particularly special in his post-mortem abilities?
AKA “Old Ben” and his many Force parents.
They had all watched, their collective Force aura swamped in sadness, grief and longing, as Qui-Gon finally introduced himself to Obi-Wan.
They’d never call him ‘Old Ben’. The fact that he was only 40 years old notwithstanding, this was the boy they’d raised, grown up with, idolised. They remembered him toddling about the gardens, fascinated by the brightly coloured flowers; Getting shy around pretty people and developing awkward crushes. They remembered him standing alone at the head of an army, quietly confident and immeasurably capable. They had vivid memories of him carrying them back to the creche, so steady and strong; of his measured wisdom, and the confidence that Obi-Wan Kenobi would always triumph.
They remembered the mullet.
Nobody named “Old Ben” ever had a mullet.
The man they now, as they always had really, looked to for a light when everything else went dark.
They didn’t catch the murmured words. They were Jedi after all, (even if they were now technically one big Jedi rather than a temple full of Jedi) and eavesdropping was rude. Nobody listened to the sulky mutterings of the presence that was Quinlan Vos.
Their boy was nodding, sitting quietly on the floor whilst he finally, finally after weeks of careful and gentle persuasion, of them all keeping a tight rein on the order’s maverick (“Do not, we repeat do not, come out of the water tank. You’ll give him a cardiac arrest or something”) believed in the presence he saw before him.
They watched once more, pleased, as their missing piece allowed himself to be bullied to his feet, and guided over to the pile of blankets he called a bed.
They could feel Qui-Gon’s bitter relief as he perched next to his former student, his longing to pull the blankets up around his boy and smooth back his hair.
But words were all they had.
Still, as Obi-Wan Kenobi had shown the Galaxy; you could do a lot with words.
---
They’d argued (as much as an incorporeal fusion of spirits could argue) at length over who got to go next.
“I knew him longest, he’ll trust me!”
“He needs someone calm, measured. I will go”
“No offence Master Plo but you’ll make him cry. He needs cheering up, I’ll go!”
“Vos so help me Force-“
“I was the Master of the Order, I should do it”
“Master, we’re dead. I’m not sure seniority applies.”
In the end it was narrowed down to two options; Bant Erin, Obi-Wan’s oldest friend. Sweet natured and kind, she would be the perfect choice.
And Mace Windu.
It turns out seniority does still apply beyond the grave.
---
A small part of Obi-Wan’s subconscious was telling him that it was starting to get a bit awkward.
The transparent blue form of Mace Windu was looking down at him, the welcoming smile quickly turning into a grimace.
“…Obi-Wan?”
No. no no no this was not happening. He didn’t have time to go round the bend he had a child to protect!
He wasn’t sure if it was reasonable to measure sanity on the volume of dead loved ones he was hallucinating, but somehow one seemed saner than two.
Though it turns out he’s insane, and so not a good barometer of these things.
He knew his stare was starting to get very unnerving as his hysterical inner-ramblings reached a fever pitch.
“…Obi-Wan, are you alright?” Imaginary Mace Windu asked, concern and a tiny bit of nervousness showing on his face.
“I’m fine, how are you?” Obi-Wan asked, remembering a solid piece of advice from his formative years; Always fall back upon good manners when in unfamiliar territory Padawan mine.
Well, this was about as unfamiliar as it got.
Imaginary Mace looked at him, utterly baffled for a moment.
“Well…I’m dead, I suppose, is how I am” he answered awkwardly.
“Right. Obviously.” Obi-Wan nodded politely. “My condolences”
There was another awkward silence.
Imaginary Mace tilted his head for a moment, listening for something.
“Well…here I am” he said, spreading his arms a little.
“…yes.”
The other Jedi frowned at Obi-Wan’s strained reply and his act of scrubbing his hands down his face as if to wipe away the image in front of him.
“Qui-Gon didn’t…didn’t mention we were coming?” he asked tentatively.
Obi-Wan shook his head, wordlessly.
The frown on Imaginary Mace turned into a complete scowl as the pieces seemed to fall into place.
“JINN” he bellowed, and Obi-Wan felt it echo in the Force like nothing before.
“He can’t hear you, he’s with Yoda”
Another figure popped into existence next to Mace, and Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes once again as Depa Billaba bowed to him.
“Obi-Wan” she greeted with a grin.
“…hi” He took a deep breath, mentally cursing his absent-minded Master.
“Are you alright?” Depa didn’t stop for a reply as she looked down with him and gestured at him, gently instructing him to get up from the floor. “Oh look you’ve scraped your knee there! Master I knew you’d startle him!” she scolded her former Master.
It felt like he was having an out of body experience as Depa ushered him into a chair (the only chair in the hut), Mace looking on anxiously.
“There we go” Depa soothed as she got him settled “I wish we could make you some tea my friend.” She said disappointedly.
Obi-Wan cleared his throat.
“You ah…you can’t?” he asked, something permeating the haze. Of this whole situation, that seemed by far the most unfair thing.
Mace smiled encouragingly, seemingly happier to be on more binary ground.
“I’m afraid not, we are beings of the Force, like your Master.” He explained, before scowling again. “Who, I would kill if he weren’t already dead,” he growled.
“I’m so sorry Obi-Wan” Depa said, dismayed “We all wanted to come and be with you, but we though Qui-Gon might be best to start with, so as not to overwhelm you”
“Sorry about that” Mace said apologetically.
They sat in silence a moment, Depa and Mace watching him process.
For the first time ever, Obi-Wan had exactly zero thoughts in his head.
He was starting to feel the pressure.
“All?” he tried.
Depa and Mace looked at each other.
“You ah…you said ‘all wanted to come’” he clarified.
Depa nodded happily.
“Yes yes, we’re all there Obi-Wan” she smiled at him
“Any Jedi slain by a Sith, or the machinations of the Sith, is there” Mace explained.
Obi-Wan was having the slightest bit of trouble taking deep breaths. Neither of his companions seemed to have noticed.
“Where?” he asked, only mildly aware that his voice was getting just a little pitchy.
“In the Force, we’re all one in the Force” Depa started again, and then paused a little lost for words.
“We’re all together and we kind of…share our presences” Mace picked up, with difficulty “Everyone who was killed by Palpatine’s evil, everyone from us right down to the littlest initiate, we share one consciousness in the Force.”
Obi-Wan was none the wiser.
Mace waved a hand frustratedly.
“Sorry, Plo explains it better”
“Plo?” Obi-Wan loved Master Plo. He loved all of them. And they were gone.
“Hello Obi-Wan”
“Well, if Plo and Depa get to see him I’m bloody well here too!”
“Hi Obi”
“Obes!”
He could only watch, speechless, as the faces of old friends, comrades, mentors and carers crammed into his hut, all looking at him with unadulterated, unfiltered pleasure and love was the last thing he saw before his scrambled brain decided it’d had enough, and he knew nothing but darkness.
---
It turns out, living with the forms of all your dead teachers, carers and friends was actually rather trying, after a while.
“Oh thank goodness you’re not still drinking that awful caff”
“I like caff – Master Plo please don’t try and lift that”
“Relax Obi dear, we’re incorporeal”
“Can still see things though”
“Vos get out of my fresher!”
“What does this do?”
“Never you mind. No don’t – Ugh. Why don’t some nice, well behaved padawans ever come to see me?”
“They’re not allowed, only those who knew you personally can visit. We thought it might get a bit stressful otherwise.”
“…I can’t imagine.”
Aside from having to adapt his busy routine to accommodate half a dozen fidgety and curious…ghosts (?) poking around his small hut at any one time, another unexpected addition to his (attempted) isolation on Tatooine was the nagging. And Force could they nag! The concentrated worry of many, many, beings with nowhere else to direct their extra energies was powerful.
“Obi-Wan you haven’t drank enough today. Go and check the vaporators”
“Padawan aren’t you going to eat?”
“Listen, that plie of cloth can’t be good for your spine”
“Force! Get some sun block Kenobi or you’re going to look like an old shoe in three months”
“No right, I saw a sunhat he can buy at the market”
It was…weird. He’d always been very self-sufficient, not to mention being the centre of everyone’s attention was difficult, to say the least. But as the months went on, he found himself transitioning from awkward acquiescence to see-sawing between mulishness and good-natured obedience. The stubbornness rising usually when the despair did. But those days were few and far between.
And now, when they did occur (for one can only avoid one’s demons for so long) and he felt like he was drowning in the weight of existence, he could rely on his friends for encouragement, care, and the motivation to carry on.
“If you join us before your time I will KILL you Obi-Wan Kenobi. Now kriffing well eat something!”
---
Of course, when their brother, friend, son, comrade, teacher and last hope did at last join them, there was no nagging or disappointment (or violence). The ultimate Jedi was back in the fold and they were once again complete.
#And they're fussing#Obi-Wan Kenobi#mace windu#I See Dead Jedi#depa billaba#jedi order#fluff?#snippet of nothing
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