#fluffy bucky barnes x y/n

[urdepressedslut]

Hello lovely,

I saw your post that your requests are open, so I will give it a try =)

Imagine Bucky and reader are best friends but they have a huge argument and now they don't talk to each other for days. She's feeling really bad, missing him. He is her most important person and now without interacting with him for days, she's feeling lost and lonely and heartbroken. Maybe she has not a super power and is only a normal human, helping the Avengers with IT or something. Due to the argument with her best friend and not talking to Bucky (Bucky ignores her completely) she begins to feel it not only mental but also physically. She can't eat probably and at the end falls deathly sick.... With a fluffy happy ending and a worried and protective Bucky

Please. That would be nice.

Take care honey

oh my goodness— my heart 😭❤️ the angst is gonna hurt, but i’m such a sucker for it. i had so much fun writing this one, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it🥰

Love Hurts

♡ Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: You and Bucky get into a heated argument, things are said and done and now he won’t speak to you. You don’t think you can handle him ignoring your existence.

♡ Warnings: language, mentions of bucky’s trauma, heavy angst, malnourishment, depression, anxiety/panic attacks, minor injuries, hospitalization, suicidal ideation, self hate, literally hurt just writing this

main masterlist

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+

Your nails bit into your palm, denting the flesh— threatening to pierce the delicate skin. It was all to hold yourself back, distract you from the words that wanted to burst out.

It was becoming a sickening routine, Bucky was reckless and had yet another near death experience on his recent mission. The anxiety and the nerves stopping your body from functioning— the dreaded wait for his jet to arrive back at the compound. You shouldn’t have to be used of receiving the call that he had yet again made a reckless move— but you were starting to discover a pattern.

It did nothing to ease the panic that swirled in your chest every time he left for missions. You’d sob, throwing up everything you had eaten that day— unable to stomach anything with the idea that Bucky was on a mission. You never found your anxiety to be so severe— but when Bucky was even mentioned about going on a mission… it spiked.

That’s where you found yourself in his room, watching him pace the space— avoiding your frustrated stare. You weren’t angry at him per say— you were angry that he didn’t value his life.

“Seriously (Y/n)— you get so worked up over nothing. I’m here and alive— isn’t that enough?” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

You pressed your nails tighter to your palm, yet the pain couldn’t stop your thundering thoughts.

“You’re here and alive now, until you do some stupid shit like this again and are dead!” You hissed, trying to keep your voice low but you didn’t know how much longer you could control yourself.

He glared at you, squinting his eyes in anger and then rolling his eyes.

“Oh for fucks sake— can you stop fucking babying me? I can handle myself!” He raised his voice, his metal arm whirring.

“I’m not babying you— I’m just scared you’re gonna get yourself killed. Do you care about your life at all?” You asked him aggressively, your voice raising just a tad.

He took a long pause, staring at you with his face void of emotion— only annoyance.

“Not really.” He admitted.

You were taken back, although you had these conversations with him a time or twenty. It was an ongoing process to get him to slowly love himself— his past as The Winter Soldier torturing his soul. He was so convinced he wasn’t deserving of anything, not even a roof over his head. It was a struggle to help him, but you weren’t going to give up on him.

“You realize if anything ever happened to you I—” Your voice broke, needing a breath, “Buck I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You thought you saw his eyes flash with guilt, but before you could linger on the look for too long— his face was hardening again.

“That doesn’t sound like my problem.” He mumbled out, making your eyes widen.

You were extremely taken back from those words, your chest aching painfully— him not knowing what effect those words had on you.

“Are you fucking serious?” You asked him, your face morphing into a hurt expression, mixed with anger. “Can you just do your job without trying to kill yourself?”

His face grew red with rage and he was stomping up towards you— his face inches from yours.

“I am doing my job— very well in fact. Unlike you who just fucking sits here doing nothing!” He defended himself, his breath hitting your face in warm pants.

“Doing nothing? Buck— why are you like this?” You puffed your chest, not backing down from his towering form.

But your words seemed to have hit a nerve, as he shrunk back slightly, narrowing his gaze at you.

“Like what?”

You furrowed your brows, slowing your racing heart from the shouting— you weren’t sure you had said anything bad. Did you?

“What?” You squeaked out, nervous now.

“You said, why am I like this… like what?” He pushed, stepping closer to you now, his face still red with anger but you could see the hurt in his eyes.

You swallowed and wondered how to convince him you didn’t mean anything bad by what you said. But you were almost positive it would be an impossible task to get Bucky to listen.

“Buck, I didn’t mean anythin—”

“What— you think I’m not capable of doing my job? You think I’m still the monster hydra made me?” He spat, his chest rising and falling quicker.

“No, no Buck listen—”

That was definitely not what you meant, you could tell he was spiraling and you were still confused as to why. You would never make him think that.

“After 70 fucking years I finally have a job that I like— that I enjoy doing— I fucking help people! I’m finally doing some good and now you’re telling me I’m not capable of doing it?” He boomed, his chest puffing into yours and your stumbled back slightly. “You think I’m only capable of being a monster? Huh? Is that what you fucking think?”

You were growing scared now, the look in his eyes wild with something and you didn’t like how close he was to you— you knew he’d never hurt you but your fear overwhelmed your senses.

“Friday— call Steve and Sam in here now!” You shouted into the room, and Bucky’s eyes squinted painfully— his metal arm whirring again.

Bucky only saw one thing— you didn’t reassure him that he was thinking irrationally. You didn’t correct him that he wasn’t the monster. Instead you called for help, that you were clearly scared— because you thought he was a monster.

He was at a loss for words and just stared at you, almost through you— as his breathing was only getting heavier at the sight of your fearful eyes.

Not even minutes later, Steve and Sam were busting through the door, taking in the scene and separated you and Bucky.

“Hey— what’s going on?” Steve asked in between the two of you. “Buck, what’s wrong man?”

You couldn’t seem to find the words and just stood speechless as well— the fight startling you. This was one of the worst ones, and it was also one that still left you confused. You cursed yourself for not being careful enough with your words— but it was almost impossible to get through to him when he was on the brink of having an episode.

Sam walked closer to you, his facing morphing into concern as he took in your shocked expression.

“(Y/n)? You okay? Did he hurt you?” Sam whispered, keeping his words only between you two.

You slowly shook your head but still didn’t respond verbally.

“Okay, okay that’s good. You wanna go get a drink from downstairs? Why don’t we take a breather okay?” Sam suggested softly, big brother mode kicking in at the sight of your frazzled state.

Without another word, you left the room with Sam— missing the devastated look from Bucky.

Steve waited until the door shut, then his attention was back on Bucky.

“Buck, you gotta talk to me man— what happened?” He asked softly, watching his friend slowly relax, but it wasn’t from being in a relaxing mood— his body and mind were just exhausted from the argument.

“I fucked everything up. That’s what happened.” He mumbled, turning away from Steve to sit on the edge of his bed.

Steve followed behind but stood in front of him, shaking his head— ready to argue.

“You didn’t mess anything up, arguments happen. You guys will work it out. I know how much you mean to each other.” Steve pointed out, watching Bucky’s face unchanging.

“You didn’t see the way she looked at me— she’s scared of me I—” He shuttered, his breath shaky as he remembered your look, “I fucking scared her.”

Steve’s chest ached, the state of his friend breaking his heart. He knew Bucky meant no harm, and he almost for a fact knew that you knew that too. But Bucky for sure didn’t believe that himself.

“I didn’t see what you saw, but I can guarantee you that she’s not afraid of you. This is (Y/n) we are talking about. You are her world Buck.” Steve tried to convince him.

Bucky shook his head, running his flesh hand through his hair.

“I think I just need to stay away from her for awhile.” Bucky came up with instead.

Steve immediately started shaking his head, knowing that was the last thing he needed.

“Bucky I—”

“Please Steve… I just need some space.” Bucky pleaded, his body sagging in exhaustion.

Steve couldn’t find it in himself to argue with him anymore about this. Maybe he did need some time to himself, to cool down and gather his thoughts. Also Steve wasn’t going to force him to anything ever. After the years his pal went through— he would never make him do anything. He had enough things decided for him, and Steve wasn’t about to stoop to hydra’s level.

Meanwhile down in the kitchen, Sam was getting you a glass of water— standing across from your seated form at the island. He slid the cup across, sending a worried glance at you.

“(Y/n)?” Sam snapped his fingers getting your attention.

You were shaken from your state of staring, but even snapped out of the trance— the anxieties still swirled within you.

“Yeah sorry… I’m here.” You whispered, grabbing the glass and taking a tiny sip.

Sam gave you a quizzical expression, watching you start to slip back into a mindless stare— so he spoke up.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” He asked, genuinely curious what had went down.

He knew— hell everyone knew you and Bucky were extremely close. Best of friends, always there for one another— dancing on the line of strictly friends to lovers. Truthfully, Sam found it completely obnoxious and just wanted you two together already.

“I don’t really know… I think I said the wrong thing— I didn’t mean to make him upset.” You confessed, keeping your eyes on the countertop, not risking a glance to Sam.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up— mistakes happen. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Sam told you.

You shook your head, gripping the cup tighter.

“God I hope so… I don’t know what I’d do without him.” You whispered pathetically, tears welling in your eyes.

Sam reached out to rub your arm comfortingly, trying to relax you so you didn’t start crying. He hated to see you cry— made his heart hurt.

“It’s been a long day for everyone, why don’t you go head upstairs and get some sleep. I’m sure things will have blown over by tomorrow.” He suggested and you finally met his gaze, smiling weakly and nodding.

Without saying goodbye, you stood up and headed to your room. Taking Sam’s words and playing them on repeat in your head.

Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow would be better.

God had you hoped that was the case— it only was the beginning on the torment.

You had slept in longer than usual, but overall felt refreshed. The first thing that came to mind when fully waking up was Bucky. Immediately you headed downstairs to find him— needing to talk with him— apologize.

Making it down to the kitchen, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in at the sight of him sitting at the island— sipping at his coffee. You furrowed your brows, thinking he'd be done with his coffee by now, since you had slept in. Your chest ached with guilt with the possibility that he didn't sleep well.

You took a deep breath before making yourself known, although you were sure be could sense you in the room— considering he was a super soldier.

"Morning Buck." You announced, walking around the island so you could face him.

He kept his gaze down at his coffee, finding the cup more interesting than you.

Okay, that’s fair. You thought, you most probably deserved that reaction.

“You sleep okay?” You asked again, picking at the skin on your nails nervously.

Again— he didn’t even lift his head. In fact, he wasn’t even acknowledging you. You waited several minutes for a response, the silence becoming thick with tension and you couldn’t stand it.

“Bucky?” You tried, and this time he lifted his head.

Your heart twinged in your chest at his bloodshot eyes, clear evidence that he hadn’t gotten good sleep. You hated yourself for causing him the stress, especially knowing he was just starting to actually get hours of sleep. It was huge progress compared to his nights either screaming awake or just staring at the walls. But now you had to go and ruin all that progress. You felt sick to your stomach— disgusted with yourself.

“I’m really sorry about last night… I didn’t like how ugly it got and I’m sorry if I said something to upset you— you know I’d never intentionally hurt you.” You told him, picking more aggressively at your nails, causing to nail beds to bleed.

You swallowed nervously when he didn’t answer right away, instead staring at you with… what was that? Disgust? You didn’t know, but you hated the look altogether.

“Bucky, please say something.” You pleaded.

Bucky lowered his gaze to his coffee again, taking a minute before he stood up and looked your way.

“I just need some space.” He told you quietly.

You were relived to have him finally talk to you, but to hear him suggest space between you two— you could almost feel the knife digging into your chest. You tried to keep a neutral expression but otherwise felt your bottom lip quiver.

Without giving you time to respond, Bucky was walking out of the room— leaving you standing there speechless, lungs begging for air. You didn’t want your mind to go immediately to that thought, but you couldn’t ignore it either— he hated you.

“Hey babe, I need you to help me out in the lab tod—” Tony came busting into the room, but immediately shut up once he saw your broken expression. “Honey, what’s wrong? You alright?”

You nodded your head, lying to him and yourself and started waving him off with the fakest smile.

“Yeah— yeah I’m good. Just need to uh— need to get some things done.” You told him, your eyes darting all around the room, the familiar feeling of panic seeping into your being.

Tony gave you a ‘really?’ look and stepped closer to you.

“(Y/n) I’m not blind— I can see you’re upset. Talk to m—”

“Seriously Tony— I’m fine! Just leave it alone!” You told him a little too aggressively.

His face was taken back and you felt guilty immediately, cursing yourself for hurting everyone.

Why are you such a fucking issue? Your mind screamed at you.

You didn’t waste another second and sped walked out of the room, needing to calm yourself down before you ran into any one else. You were spiraling and you needed to just relax— take a deep breath. Maybe you just needed one more day and things would be back to normal.

Yeah… just one more day.

You had hoped that was the case as well… but as always— things only got worse.

Bucky refused to talk to you or even look at you. He’d given you the cold shoulder for almost two weeks now. He would get up and leave the second you entered the room. He couldn’t stand you it seemed.

You couldn’t keep hiding your hurt. At first, you had done a good job at hiding how you were really feeling. Saving the sobbing and attacks for when you were alone in your room. As the days lingered on, you found yourself weak and drained— you didn’t have enough energy to put up a charade anymore.

The whole team were sending you worried looks, and attempted to talk with you. But the second they’d try— you’d bolt. The subject was too sensitive, too raw. You didn’t want to talk to anyone but Bucky— and he hated you.

You had missed so many meals, forgetting to eat with your mental struggles throughout the days. You had been getting no more than two hours of sleep. You were so stressed, so stuck in your own mind that you couldn’t function. Even when you had managed to remember to eat, your stomach would knot up to the point that you were throwing everything up. You were gaunt, basically a real life zombie. You needed help— but you needed Bucky more.

You were laying in bed staring unknowingly into space, it had been hard to focus with no food or sleep in your system— so you had only managed to lay here. Even that was exhausting, no matter how much you laid around— your mind wouldn’t stop the assault. Your anxiety had never been this bad, you were a prisoner to it.

Knocking at your door had you jumping, your heart racing— and for a moment you forgot where you were.

You’re in the compound… yeah that’s right.

You slowed your breathing and swung your legs sluggishly over the edge of the bed to answer it. You weren’t prepared for the sudden dizzy spell, your vision spotting with black and white specks. You tried to blink it off, but suddenly you were toppling to the ground.

You fell to the floor with a loud thump, luckily landing on your front, your hands somehow catching most of your fall— you could already feel the throbbing in your palms.

You didn’t hear the persistent knocking, or the door open. You didn’t even hear the voice speaking from the doorway. It was when a hand landed on your shoulder that you were gasping, forgetting your surroundings once again.

Your eyes met Steve’s and you swore your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

“(Y/n) are you alright?” He asked you, hovering his hands over you— not sure what you had hurt.

You furrowed your brows, looking him over.

“Steve what are… what are you doing here?” You asked genuinely confused.

You watched Steve’s eyes widen and he swallowed nervously— his expression growing more concerned.

“(Y/n) it’s okay… I’ve got you.” Steve hushed, and he was pulling you into his chest, hugging you protectively.

You were still confused but then you tasted one of your stray tears, and you immediately came to your senses. You were crying in Steve’s arms… but why? You were having gaps of time missing from you, this wasn’t the first time this had happened— you just didn’t seem to care.

“Steve… my head hurts.” You slurred into his chest, sagging against him.

You were grateful that he was here, you desperately needed someone around. You were just hoping that someone would’ve been Bucky.

“Okay, let’s get you to Helen. She’s gonna take care of you, okay?” Steve asked you, and you could only give a weak nod.

He knew there was no way you were walking there, so he hoisted you up into his arms, and cradled your head as he started to the med bay.

You just stared blankly at his chest, not really caring if Steve were to throw you off the roof of the building. You just didn’t care.

Steve had gotten you down to her, and she checked you out. Alerting Steve that you were extremely malnourished, dehydrated— an insomniac. She kept listing off all the things Steve was afraid to hear. The whole time he was sure you didn’t hear a thing, although you were in the room— you were just checked out.

Helen eventually left, and Steve took his opportunity to speak with you. He pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed and grabbed your hand.

“(Y/n), what’s going on? You can talk to me— you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Please… just talk to me.” Steve whispered, pleading with you that you would stop torturing yourself.

“He hates me.” You mumbled.

Steve’s eyes widened and he frowned, knowing what you meant. He knew he let this go on for too long.

“(Y/n) he doesn’t hate you. He just needed time to himself, so he co—”

“I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, I don’t even know what I said to hurt him but I—” You rushed out, the heart monitor beeping frantically, “I’m a horrible person, I didn’t mean to— I didn’t mean to!”

You wheezed out, clutching your chest as you couldn’t catch your breath. Your cheeks glistened with a steady stream of tears, your wheezing only growing by the second.

“Okay, okay (Y/n)— I need you to slow your breathing. You’re okay, he doesn’t hate you. Just take deep breaths okay— even if you can’t just try. I’m here.” He tried to coach you, but this wasn’t his thing.

Now he was starting to get mad at his friend, Bucky shouldn’t of let this go on for this long.

You followed his chest rising and falling, staring at him as he tried to calm you down. Your breaths were heavy and painful sounding. Steve was about to say something but stopped himself when he saw your eyes look behind him.

He turned and saw Bucky standing in the doorway— his face paled. Truthfully, he looked like he was going to be sick.

“(Y/n)?” He whispered, his heart breaking at your state.

He had ran into Helen in the kitchen and was informed of your condition— he didn’t believe it and had to see for himself. He was shocked to find you like this.

Your tears only edged on from his appearance and you shook your head in shame.

“I’m sorry Bucky! Whatever I did, I’m sorry!” You sobbed and Bucky ran to the bed, kneeling down and taking your hands into his.

“Doll it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here— I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you… I’m sorry.” He rushed out, shushing your cries, watching you slow your breathing at his words. “There we go, just keep breathing with me. I’m here, you’re okay.”

He kept repeating himself, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Steve knew you were in good hands and slowly snuck out of the room— knowing you two needed to talk.

Bucky tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, letting his fingers trail down your cheek to your jaw. You couldn’t help the way your face leaned into his touch, it felt like it had been forever since the last one.

Your breathing had slowed down, and now you just stared up at him— eyes glossy with more tears. You felt so many emotions. You felt relived, but also angry and hurt. Above all— you needed to know what you did to upset him. The guilt still ate away at your heart, and even just the memory of the argument had your chest aching.

“What did I do?” You whispered, making his eyes shoot up to yours, concern painting his face.

“You didn’t do anything.” He told you, and you furrowed your brows.

You were still anxious— he hadn’t answered your question. Even more so— if you didn’t do anything then why did he ignore you?

“Then why?”

“Why what (Y/n)?” He dared to ask, and you scoffed— ripping your hands out of his.

The anger was approaching.

“Why did you shut me out?” You wondered, and he only let his eyes cast down to the bed— making you angrier. “You ignored me for two weeks! Two fucking weeks you just acted as if I didn’t exist! Do you know how much that fucking hurts?”

You were breathing heavy again, but this time it wasn’t from panic— it was the full force of all your anger bursting out.

He lifted his eyes to you, and you saw how broken he looked. How your state had affected him.

“I could never do that to you Buck— I would never do that to you! You’re my everything! I don’t trust anyone as much as I trust you!” You raised your voice, while he stayed silent. “If I didn’t do anything then why would you— why—”

You broke out into a sob, covering your face with your hands. You felt good getting all the built up anger out— but now you felt extremely guilty. The pitiful face of Bucky staring at you, causing your heart to hurt all over again. It didn’t matter what happened, you always ended up hurting others.

“(Y/n) I’m so sorry I— god I fucked up. I didn’t ever mean to hurt you, please know that. You’re my other half, and no one has ever been there for me like you have.” He spoke through a tight throat, swelling with emotion.

You uncovered your face and just stared at him a little longer, still incredibly hurt from his actions— but you knew you couldn’t stay mad at him. You so badly wanted to forgive and forget— and just wrap him in your arms like you both needed.

“It’s hard to explain what’s wrong with me to someone when I don’t even understand what’s wrong with me— I just know I’m fucked up. I’m broken beyond repair.” His voice broke, his own eyes welling with tears.

You didn’t have it in you to keep up an angry facade, and so you reached out and took his hand in yours. His face almost immediately lit up, his breathing slowing at your touch.

“Try me.” You whispered, watching Bucky take a deep breath before he spoke again.

“The night of our fight…” He started, and you swallowed in having to remember that night. “I had never seen you look at me like that.”

You stayed silent, afraid to open your mouth and have a sob escape. You could feel it bubbling up— the memory playing back through your mind.

“You looked at me like you were scared. You looked at me like I was a monster.” He confessed and it all made sense to you now.

It wasn’t about what you said, it was your reaction that disturbed him to no ends. Even if you couldn’t control your reaction in the moment— you still felt guilty for causing him pain of remembering the hydra days.

“Oh Buck…” You whimpered, trying to pull him close— but he pulled away before he could reach your embrace.

“No— you don’t get to be nice to me after what I did. I promised I would never hurt you and I did— you’re in here because of me! I don’t deserve your forgiveness!” He raised his voice, and you weren’t scared of him— just concerned.

“I wasn’t scared of you Bucky, you just caught me off guard. Things were heated— I’m not afraid of you and I most definitely don’t think you’re a monster.” You tried to convince him.

“I really hope you’re not lying because if you were afraid of me… god I don’t know what I’d do. If you never wanted to see me again— that’s fine. Whatever you want, but I can’t live knowing you’re afraid of me.” He whimpered out.

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He nodded his head, knowing damn well you’d never lie. That was one thing he loved about you— you were so honest. Keeping it real with him, even if he didn’t wanna hear it. He could count on you for the truth.

“I still don’t deserve your forgiveness.” He argued.

“Well too bad, I’m forgiving you anyway.” You finally told him and he felt his chest expand.

Like he could finally breath.

“Why?” He wondered.

You knew it was the line you two had been dancing on forever— but you knew if there was ever a time to say it. It was now.

“Because I love you.” You admitted quietly.

His eyes widened just slightly, and his breath stuttered. He had always had a feeling what you two had was more than friends, he just never spoke up about it. Of course he loves you too— god he loves you so much. That’s why the thought of you being scared of him was enough to pull him away. He couldn’t bear being around you if you were frightened by him. He couldn’t live with himself. More importantly he now discovered, he really couldn’t live without you.

“I love you so much.” He confessed back as your tears leaked down your cheeks.

You pulled his arm, and he let you pull him to the bed— close enough where you could cup both his cheeks.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, please. I need you Bucky— life is not livable without you.” You cried, kissing his forehead to which he leaned into your lips.

“Never again— I promise.”

This time, he wouldn’t break it.

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TAGLIST: @engie115 @kmc1989 @ghostofwinter @silverfire13 @goldylions @potatothots @billy-reads @hanihoney88 @skittle479 @hereticdance @mentalidrainedfangirl @natashassandwich @marvelogic @soul-system @alinasmcu @almosttoopizza @lilbabygirll @sebastiansstanswhore @yujyujj @jasminocano

[the-winter-spider]

Never Enough | B.Barnes

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Angst, fluff, comfort idk

Masterlist

—

The mission had been textbook so far, each Avenger playing their part with precision and skill. You moved through the chaos with a focused intensity, your grey-hued powers crackling around your hands as you deflected incoming attacks and shielded your teammates. The battlefield was a blur of noise and movement, but you were in the zone, you always were every action calculated to protect those around you, no one would ever get hurt because of you again.

Sam was high in the sky, engaged in an aerial battle with a group of enemy drones, when you spotted something he didn’t, a sniper, hidden on a distant rooftop, aimed directly at him “Sam!” You yelled through the comms, when all you heard was static you muttered to yourself “shit shit shit”

Your heart skipped a beat as you saw the glint of the scope, without a second thought, you threw herself into action, your powers surging as you manipulated the grey energy to redirect the bullet.

The energy crackled and hissed as it wrapped around the speeding projectile, altering its course just enough to avoid a fatal shot, but in the process, you lost control for a split second, and the bullet grazed your ear, tearing through flesh before embedding harmlessly in a nearby wall.

You stumbled slightly from the impact, your hand instinctively reaching up to the side of your head, when you pulled it away, your fingers were slick with blood. The warm liquid began to trickle down your face, but you pushed the pain aside, focusing on the relief that Sam was still in the sky, unharmed.

The mission wrapped up quickly after that, the team neutralising the last of their enemies. As they regrouped, Bucky’s sharp eyes zeroed in on you, and his stomach dropped when he saw the blood staining the side of your face.

“Doll?!” he called out, rushing over to you. His heart pounded in his chest as he reached out, his fingers trembling slightly as he tilted your chin to get a better look at the wound “You’re bleeding.”

You winced slightly at his touch but managed a small, reassuring smile “It’s just a graze, Bucky, I’m fine”

“Fine?” he repeated, his voice tinged with panic “You’re bleeding all over the place” his hands touching you all over, eyes racking your body to make sure it was the only one.

You gently pulled his hand away from you, giving him a firm look, still holding his hand in yours squeezing it “It’s fine, really. Sam’s okay, and that’s what matters”

As if on cue, Sam landed beside them, his wings retracting as he touched down. He noticed the blood immediately, his eyes widening in shock. “Y/N, what the hell happened?”

You waved it off as if it were nothing, because it was nothing “Just a little sniper action, I saw the shot coming your way and redirected it, no big deal” You shrugged

Sam’s expression softened, and he placed a hand on her shoulder “Thank you, I didn’t even see it coming… you saved my life”

You could feel his eyes peering into the side of your head, as if he was trying to see into your head and what you were actually thinking and what you were actually feeling. Before Bucky could protest further, the rest of the team gathered around, assessing the situation.

Natasha gave Y/N a once-over, her eyes lingering on the blood before nodding approvingly “Nice work out there.”

“Yeah, way to keep Sam in one piece,” Clint added with a grin.

You smiled, though the adrenaline was starting to wear off, and the pain was becoming harder to ignore. Bucky noticed the way your smile faltered, but before he could press you to get checked out, Tony’s voice came over the comms, the ones that were finally working.

“Alright, team, let’s pack it up and head back to the Compound. Dinner’s on me tonight.”

You breathed a quiet sigh of relief as they headed to the jet. You knew Bucky was worried, but you couldn’t let him fuss over you right now. The wound was minor, and all that mattered was that all of you were heading home, all of them, your family…. alive.

The flight back to the Compound was uneventful, the team settling into a comfortable silence as they let the exhaustion of the mission sink in. You sat beside Bucky, leaning your head against the cool window, ignoring the throbbing on the side of your head. You could feel Bucky’s concerned gaze on you, but you kept her eyes closed, pretending to be asleep to avoid another confrontation.

When they landed, the team made their way to the common area, still buzzing with post-mission energy. Tony had ordered dinner, and they all gathered around the large table, digging into the food that was quickly delivered. The atmosphere was light, everyone enjoying the rare moment of relaxation.

As they ate, Tony cleared his throat, drawing the group’s attention “Before we all dig into dessert, I’ve got something to say.”

The room quieted as everyone looked at him expectantly.

“I was going over the mission logs today,” Tony continued, a playful smirk on his face. “And it turns out that our very own Y/N here has officially been on more missions than anyone else on the team this year.”

You blinked in surprise, your fork pausing mid-air. The rest of the team looked at you with varying degrees of shock and admiration.

“Wait, seriously?” Bruce asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

“Y/N joined after most of us,” Natasha added, her tone impressed.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed slightly, a mix of pride and concern flickering in his gaze. He knew how driven you were, but hearing that you had been on the most missions—despite the risks you took—made his heart clench. It made someone chun inside of him, he felt uneasy and nauseous. He knew you had baggage, dark shadows lurking behind you, almost everyone on the team did but this felt different.

You shifted uncomfortably under the attention, forcing a smile as you shrugged, trying to brush off the unwanted attention “Just trying to keep up with the rest of you.”

Tony raised his glass in a mock toast. “Well, here’s to Y/N—the MVP of the team. Just try not to hog all the action next year.”

Everyone chuckled, raising their glasses in her honour. You smiled, but your mind was elsewhere, replaying the events of the day and the worried look in Bucky’s eyes.

As the night wore on, you found yourself standing on the balcony, the cool night air brushing against your skin. You needed a moment alone to process everything—the wound, the mission, and the weight of Tony’s announcement.

As the night wore on, you found yourself standing on the balcony, the cool night air brushing against your skin. You needed a moment alone to process everything-the wound, the mission, and the weight of Tony's announcement.

But you weren't alone for long. Bucky found you, as he always did, quietly joining you, his presence a comforting warmth in the darkness.

"Sweetheart," he began, his voice low as he reached for you, brushing the hair off your face. His fingers lingered near the now bandaged wound. "You've got to stop doing this to yourself."

You didn't turn to face him, your gaze fixed on the stars above. "I'm fine, Buck... really."

He stepped closer, his hand gently resting on your arm, his grip firm but tender, trying to keep his frustration in check. "I'm not just talking about today, you're pushing yourself too hard…you're getting hurt too often. I know this seems minor to you, but... you're everything to me, doll, I can't-" He cut himself off, swallowing hard.

You finally turned to look at him, your eyes meeting his, the weight of his words settling in your chest. "I have to, Bucky. I can't stop, not when there's so much at stake”

He sighed, his expression tight with frustration, pain clouding his usually soft gaze."You don't have to do it all alone, we're a team. You've got us-you've got me…you always have me”

For a moment, you just stood there, the unspoken tension between you heavy in the air. You wanted to argue, to tell him that you needed to keep going, to keep saving lives. But the concern in his eyes, the desperation in his voice, made it harder to deny that maybe, just maybe, you were running yourself into the ground.

"I know you're trying to help," you said softly, your voice trembling as you searched for the right words. "But I don't know how to stop... I don't know how to just... be."

Bucky's face softened, and he pulled you closer, his arms

wrapping around you as if he could shield you from everything. "You don't have to have it all figured out right now. We'll take it slow, okay? You don't have to do this”

But even as you stood there in his embrace, a part of you resisted. You couldn't shake the feeling that slowing down, letting go, meant giving up some part of yourself. And that terrified you.

You pulled away from him, your heart pounding in your chest as a sudden wave of frustration surged inside you. "You don't get it, Bucky," you said, your voice rising despite your best efforts to keep it steady. "If I stop-if I take a break-then what am I even here for? All I have is the next mission, the next chance to save someone else."

Bucky's brow furrowed, his hands hovering near you, unsure whether to reach for you again. "That's not true…you're here because you matter, because we matter. You're not just some weapon to be used over and over”

You shook your head, stepping back as the anger and pain you'd been suppressing for so long started to spill over. "I can't just stop, okay? You don't understand what it's like, knowing that no matter what I do, it'll never be enough to erase what happened." He had his own demons, you knew that, he knew that. You knew he knew what it felt like, that no matter how much good you did, you could never erase the past.

"What are you talking about?" Bucky asked, his voice quiet, pleading "Enough for what?"

"My family," you snapped, the words tearing out of you like a wound being ripped open. "I killed them, Bucky. I was supposed to protect them, and I didn't. I couldn't." Your voice broke, and you took in a shaky breath, tears burning in your eyes. "No matter how many lives I save, it won't bring them back. It won't make up for what I did."

The silence that followed was deafening. Bucky stared at you, his expression stricken, as if he could feel the weight of your pain pressing down on him too. His voice, when he spoke, was raw and filled with emotion. "You were a kid... You couldn't control it. How could you blame yourself for that?"

"Because who else is there to blame?" you cried, your voice cracking with the intensity of your grief. "I'm the one who's supposed to have control. I'm the one with these powers, and I couldn't – didn't save them….and now, I have to keep going because if I don't... if I stop..."

"If you stop, what?" Bucky's voice was sharp now, his own frustration bubbling to the surface. "You think you'll suddenly fall apart? You think it'll undo everything you've done, everything you've fought for?"

You wiped at your eyes angrily, turning away from him. "Maybe….Maybe I deserve to fall apart. Maybe I should."

"Stop," he said, stepping forward, his voice firm, a thread of anger creeping into it. "You're punishing yourself, and it's not helping anyone, least of all you."

You spun back around, the heat of your emotions pushing you beyond the point of caring. "And what if I am? What if this is the only way I know how to keep going?"

Bucky's face hardened, the pain in his eyes replaced with something colder, something distant. "You're going to kill yourself if you keep this up and I can't stand by and watch you do that!”

"Then don't!" you yelled, your chest heaving as the words tumbled out before you could stop them. "If it's so hard for you, then just leave, Bucky! I'm used to being alone."

His silence was like a slap in the face. For a moment, you thought he might actually walk away, that you had finally pushed him too far.

But when he spoke, his voice was quiet, devastated. "You really think l'd leave you? After everything?"

You swallowed hard, the weight of your own words sinking in, but the anger and the pain wouldn't let you stop. "Maybe you should…maybe it would be easier for both of us."

Bucky stared at you for a long moment, his jaw clenched tight, his eyes shining with hurt. "If that's what you want."

You felt the sting of your own words twisting in your chest, regret pooling in your stomach. But it was too late now. The damage was done, you couldn't take it back.

Without another word, Bucky turned and walked away, his footsteps heavy and deliberate, each one echoing like a hammer in your chest.

And when the door finally closed behind him, the quiet that followed was suffocating. The stars above you blurred as the tears finally fell, but this time, there was no one there to hold you together.

You were alone. Just like you always feared you would be.

After the door closed behind him, you stood frozen, your breath caught in your throat. The silence was heavy, thick with the weight of words you couldn’t take back. The pain in Bucky’s eyes haunted you, replaying in your mind like a broken record.

You leaned against the balcony railing, gripping it so tightly your knuckles turned white. The cold wind stung against the cut on your ear, but the physical pain was a dull ache compared to the emotional wreckage inside of you.

“I did it again,” you whispered to yourself, your voice shaky, broken. “I pushed him away.”

You thought back to the mission, to the moment you’d saved Sam without thinking of yourself. That was who you were, wasn’t it? Someone who always threw themselves in harm’s way, someone who believed their life was a bargaining chip to protect others. But with Bucky…it was different. He didn’t need saving. He needed you to let him in, and you couldn’t.

The stars blurred as more tears filled your eyes. All you could see was the look of betrayal on Bucky’s face as he turned to leave.

Maybe you were too far gone. Maybe the weight of your past, of your guilt, was too much for anyone to carry, even Bucky. He’d seen the worst of you, and now, maybe he’d finally had enough.

You choked back a sob, the hollow emptiness in your chest growing, threatening to swallow you whole. Your breath came in ragged gasps as you fought to hold yourself together, but it was no use. The cracks were already showing.

And in the quiet of the night, with nothing but the stars and your own racing thoughts, you wondered if you’d pushed the one person who could understand you too far. If you’d finally driven him away for good.

The door didn’t open again.

You were alone. Truly, completely alone. And the worst part was, it felt like you deserved it. Because you did.

You stayed there, staring at the night sky as if the stars could offer answers, but all they did was remind you of how small and insignificant everything felt. The wind howled through the silence, and your body shook—whether from the cold or from the emotions tearing you apart, you weren’t sure.

Suddenly, the door creaked open again, and for a moment, your heart leapt, thinking Bucky had come back. But when you heard the familiar sound of soft footsteps, you realised it was someone else.

“You okay?” Natasha’s voice was quiet, cautious.

You didn’t turn around, wiping at your eyes quickly to hide the tears “Yeah… just needed some air.”

Natasha came to stand beside you, leaning her elbows on the railing, her sharp eyes scanning your face even though you refused to meet them. “You know, you’re a terrible liar”

You huffed a humourless laugh, the sound bitter in your throat. “Guess I am”

Natasha sighed softly, leaning in closer. “I heard what happened… between you and Bucky, i didn't mean to eavesdrop ”

You swallowed hard, your chest tightening at the mention of his name “Yeah, well, it’s my fault. I pushed him away, that’s what I do.”

Natasha tilted her head, her gaze softer than usual. “You think pushing people away makes you stronger, but it’s only making you more vulnerable”

You stared at the ground, your voice barely above a whisper. “What if I’m too broken to fix? What if I ruin everything I touch?”

Natasha straightened, her expression turning serious. “You’re not broken, Y/N. You’re hurting but there’s a difference.”

You shook your head, your fingers tightening around the railing “You didn’t see the look on his face when I practically told him to leave….and he did.”

Natasha crossed her arms, her voice sharp but not unkind. “Bucky’s not the type to give up easily, especially when it comes to you, he loves you so much…He’ll come back, but you have to let him in. You can’t keep shutting him out, or one day… he might not come back”

You finally looked at her, your eyes brimming with unshed tears “What if it’s too late?”

Natasha shook her head. “It’s not too late..not unless you let it be”

You bit your lip, fighting the urge to break down again. “I don’t know how to stop, Nat. I don’t know how to stop blaming myself.”

Natasha placed a hand on your arm, her grip firm, grounding you. “You have to forgive yourself, you weren’t responsible for what happened to your family and you’re not responsible for everything that goes wrong in the world, You’ve done more than enough.”

You felt the weight of her words, but they seemed so far away from what you felt in your chest. “I don’t know if I can.”

Natasha’s eyes softened again. “Then let us help you, let Bucky help you..that’s what he wants and its what you need”

You looked away, your voice small and fragile. “I’m afraid I’ll lose him, I’m afraid I’ll lose all of you.”

Natasha squeezed your arm gently. “You won’t, but if you keep pushing us away, you’re only going to lose yourself”

For a long moment, you stood in silence, her words sinking in. The night air felt a little colder, but her presence grounded you, reminded you that you weren’t alone—even if it felt that way.

Finally, you nodded, barely a whisper escaping your lips. “I don’t know how to fix this, Nat.”

Natasha gave you a small, reassuring smile. “You don’t have to fix everything, Y/N. Sometimes, you just have to let people be there for you”

You stood there for a moment longer, Natasha’s words hanging in the air like a lifeline. She was right. You didn’t have to fix everything alone, and Bucky—he wouldn’t give up on you that easily.

Taking a deep breath, you turned to her. “Thanks, Nat… I think I need to talk to him”

Natasha gave you a knowing smile, her eyes softening. “Go…He’s probably waiting for you.”

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest as you made your way inside. The hallways of the Compound were quiet, the hum of the place barely a whisper against the tension knotting in your stomach. You weren’t sure where he had gone, but you knew Bucky—he would seek solitude, someplace quiet to think.

Heading toward the common area, you peeked around the corners until you found him sitting on the couch, his back turned to you. His posture was tense, shoulders hunched forward as he stared blankly at the wall. The sight of him like that—silent and still—made your chest ache. You hated seeing him hurt, especially when it was your words that had caused it.

You took a tentative step forward, clearing your throat softly. “Bucky?”

His shoulders tensed at the sound of your voice, but he didn’t turn around. For a moment, you feared he might stay silent, that you had pushed him too far. But then, he sighed, his voice low and filled with emotion “What do you want, Y/N?”

Your heart clenched, and you took a deep breath before stepping closer. “I… I just wanted to apologise for what I said earlier”

Bucky’s head tilted slightly, but he still didn’t turn around “You told me to leave, so I did.”

You winced at the pain in his voice, the weight of your own words crashing over you again “I didn’t mean it, Buck…I was just… scared. Of losing you, of everything”

There was a long pause, the silence stretching between you like a chasm you were desperate to cross. Finally, Bucky spoke, his voice quiet but laced with vulnerability. “I know you’re scared, but so am I.”

You blinked in surprise, stepping even closer now, your hand reaching out hesitant to touch his shoulder “You’re scared?”

He finally turned to face you, his blue eyes soft and filled with a raw emotion that made your breath hitch. “Of course I am, every time I see you throw yourself into danger like that, I’m terrified I’m going to lose you. You keep pushing yourself too hard, Y/N, and it’s killing me. You mean everything to me.”

Your heart swelled at his words, the intensity of his gaze making it impossible to look away. “Bucky… I’m sorry. I didn’t realise how much I was hurting you.”

He stood up then, towering over you but not in an intimidating way. His presence was warm, comforting, and despite everything, you felt safe with him. He reached out slowly, brushing his fingers against your cheek as if testing the waters “I just want you to be okay, doll…that’s all I’ve ever wanted, you’re all i ever want”

You leaned into his touch, your eyes searching his, the sincerity of his words making your heart ache. “I don’t want to push you away. I just… I’ve been running for so long, I didn’t know how to stop.”

Bucky’s thumb gently traced along your cheek, his touch soft and reassuring “Then stop running, sweetheart. Let me be there for you”

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as you reached up to place your hand over his. “I don’t want to be alone, not anymore.”

Bucky’s face softened, and he pulled you into a gentle embrace, his arms wrapping around you like a protective shield. You buried your face in his chest, breathing in his familiar scent, the steady beat of his heart grounding you.

“You’ll never be alone,” he murmured into your hair, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “Not as long as I’m here”

You squeezed him tighter, feeling the weight of your fears slowly melt away in his embrace. For the first time in a long time, you felt like you didn’t have to carry everything on your own.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest.

He pulled back just enough to tilt your chin up, his eyes filled with so much warmth it made your heart flutter. “Anytime, doll. You’re stuck with me now.”

You couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped you, the tension between you both easing as his lips curled into a playful smile. “Good, I think I like being stuck with you.”

Bucky chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, and finally, your lips. It was soft and gentle, like he was afraid of breaking the moment, but it sent warmth flooding through your body.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his voice a soft whisper. “I love you, Y/N.”

Your heart soared at his words, and you smiled up at him, finally allowing yourself to let go of all the fear and doubt. “I love you too, Bucky…. More than you’ll ever know.”

Bucky’s eyes shone with affection, and he kissed you again, this time deeper, more passionate. The world around you faded away, and for the first time in a long time, everything felt right.

In his arms, you weren’t broken, you weren’t alone. You were whole. And that was more than enough.

[sparklefics]

Losing you

Bucky & avenger!reader

WC: 1,185

Summary: a near death experience puts things in perspective.

Warnings: near death experience (not detailed tho), mentions of injury and blood. Language!

I wrote a thing!! It’s been months since I’ve been inspired/ had time to write. Here’s a little angsty fluff.

Gif not mine.

[Masterlist]

Since you joined the team you’ve gotten along with everyone. Missions are successful at least 90 percent of the time.

For the last nine months you’ve been partnering up with Bucky. He’s damn good at his job and you get along just fine, at least when you’re on the field.

Off the field is an entirely different story.

It’s not so much that you don’t get along, it’s just you don’t hang out outside of work. The only time you ‘hang out’ is during training.

You wouldn’t consider him a friend— at least not like Sam is. Bucky is merely your teammate, your partner.

Normally Bucky is cool, calm and collected until the day you get hurt in the field.

“Star, come in.” Bucky speaks through the comms but is only met with silence so he tries again. “Agent Star, come in!”

Star is the code name Sam gave you when you joined his crusade as Captain America. He liked to joke around about his Stars and Stripes and the Sentinel of Liberty, respectively you, Joaquin and Bucky.

Bucky turns back to the last checkpoint and his body goes rigid as he takes in the scene before him. There you are laying on a puddle of blood—yours, he realizes.

He doesn’t take the time to over analyze what went down, all he cares about right now is getting you to safety.

—————

It’s scary to put so much on someone. To let them be your everything, he hadn’t realized that was what had happened. To him you were just his partner.

Until he almost lost you.

That’s when he realized what’s really at stake here. Not only your life, but his happiness.

—————

Three days, that’s how long it takes for you to wake up.

“Ow. That hurt.” You groan and hear Sam chuckle, when you bat your eyes open you see Bucky storming out of the room.

“That’s not funny, Star.” Sam says. “You scared us. How come you didn’t call for backup?”

“How long was I out?”

“Three days. And yes, he was here the whole time, barely got him to eat and shower.”

“Where’s Stripes?” You deflect and ask about Joaquin.

“Coffee run.” Sam stares towards the doorway and sighs. “Buck was the one that found you.”

“Hmm. I think he might be mad at me— you know for almost dying.”

“He’s entitled to that, you’re his partner after all.”

—————

Bucky never comes back to the med bay. In fact you don’t see him for weeks, until you’ve been given the all clear to go back out on the field.

You approach him silently at the gym while he’s pummeling a punching bag. Three bags already discarded after he ripped them open.

“Hey Liberty!”

“Don’t call me that. You know I fucking hate it.”

“Are you still mad at me?”

“Who said I was?” He turns around and you’re not ready for that tender look he gives you. A mixture of guilt that you almost died on his watch and something else you can’t pinpoint and it almost makes you think that he might actually care.

As scary as it was, almost dying put so much in perspective for you. First thing’s first, before you passed out on the field your very last thought was Bucky’s smile. That was strange…yes, he’s your partner but you were about to die and your last thought was of him not begging for help just one last smile of Bucky’s.

Secondly, it felt so off and hurtful seeing him walk out as soon as you woke up. You didn’t know why it hurt but the fact that it did meant that you wanted him there when you woke up. Or at least you expected him to be there, he is your partner after all.

You almost lost everything.

You almost lost him.

It’s infuriating how he managed to become something more than just your partner without you even realizing it. Though all your anger dissipates with the look he gives you. None of it matters when he’s looking at you and touching you so delicately.

Bucky traces a finger ever so delicately over the still fading bruise on your cheek bone.

You hadn’t realized he’d been standing so close to you. Or why the disheveled look he’s got going on looks so good on him. Has he ever looked better? Yes, but today he looks kinda hot and vulnerable, in a way that you just wanna comfort him, run your hands through his hair, cuddle the shit out of him.

Out of nowhere you grab his face and kiss him— on the lips!

“You can’t blame me for that. I almost died.”

You murmured against his lips. And to your surprise he doesn’t pull back, instead he deepens the kiss.

“Shut up, I'm still mad at you.” He mumbles against your lips.

“Ha!” You pull back just enough to slap a hand on his chest. “I knew it! You are mad at me!”

Bucky pulls you right back to his arms and rests his forehead on yours. “I’m just…I can’t lose anyone else. Do you understand?”

You nod.

“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself. You got hurt out there, I should’ve—”

You pull back to look him in the eyes, “James Buchanan Barnes it is not your fault I got hurt. I should’ve called for backup, it’s not your responsibility to keep me safe.”

“Yes it is. You’re my partner.”

“You say that like it means something else. What are you really trying to say, Sarge?”

As if the kiss you two shared hadn’t made it clear this certainly would.

“Star, you are everything to me.”

And your anger makes an appearance again, you pull away from him. “I’m finding that a little hard to believe, cause since I woke up all you’ve done is avoid me.”

“I’m just— seeing you there in a puddle of blood it fucked me up.”

“Waking up and seeing my partner walking out on me fucked me up. You were the last thing on my mind before I passed out. I was trying to call for— I was going to call for you when I blacked out. Then I wake up and see you walk out the door and never come back.”

This isn’t how Bucky pictured this moment. It should’ve gone like in the movies. You both admit your feelings, kiss and voila: happy ending. Not you angry at him, with unshed tears in your eyes.

“I’m sorry I’m an idiot that can’t handle his own feelings. But I love you. I need you to know that. I love you.” He squeezes your hands.

“That’s the thing Bubba, I love you too. So don’t you dare walk out on me ever again.”

You pull him in for a hug and you climb on him like a koala, arms around his shoulders and legs around his torso. He tells you he loves you again and assures you that he’s not going anywhere without you. “Well then, take me to my room. You owe me three weeks worth of cuddles.”

[jadehuntressqueen]

True Care

Masterlist

 “I can’t.”

 You whispered the words, afraid of the reaction to them. It wasn’t as though you didn’t want to, you just weren’t ready. The idea was too daunting.

 Just as quietly his hushed voice asked, “Why not?”

 “I’m not ready.”

 “So it’s not a no.” His soft eyes caught your gaze for a brief moment. Within that second you saw a glimmer of hope flash through his eyes.

 You glanced down, “It’s not a no.” You let the unsaid words hang in the air. The words that it could be a yes, in time. That you weren’t unwilling just not ready.

 “Then I’ll wait.” He stepped back.

 You looked up, expecting resolution. What you saw on his face was a patient acceptance. Your eyes misted at the implications. He was willing to wait for you to be ready. For you to realize what you wanted and what you needed.

 “Why?” He should be heartbroken, he should be disappointed, he should-

 “Because I care about you,” gentle hands rested on your shoulders, encouraging you to look him in the eye, “and that is enough reason for me to wait if all you need is a bit more time.” He smiled softly, “Besides, I can’t say I truly care if something so small were to destroy that. Don’t rush yourself,” he placed a feather light kiss on your brow and pulled back. “I’ll be here when you’re ready, whatever you decide.”

 “Thank you,” the words floated away on the wind, too quiet to hear but he knew. He knew and he would wait, because he cared.

[delicatebarness]

i cant read your mind | chapter eight

Summary: Flashback to Wakanda.

Warnings: MCU Spoilers. Major The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Spoilers. Smut. Fluffy Smut. A hint of Angst at the end. Sergeant kink.

Word Count: 927

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A/N: Onto episode 4 now, most likely gonna be 3 parts for this one. I've had the idea of this chapter in my head forever and was so excited to finally write it. But, I am also excited to go back to annoyed Bucky next chapter when John's back in the picture.

Tags: @blackhawkfanatic | @cjand10 | @wintrsoldrluvr | @missvelvetsstuff | @buckys-metal-arm | @matchat3a | @shadowzena43 | @torntaltos | @honeydew3064 | @scott-loki-barnes

Wakanda. Six Years Ago.

The Wakandan sun had set hours ago, around the same time Bucky left to meet with Ayo for another session. You stood by the window of his hut, staring out into the evening waiting for his return. Ayo had contacted you when they had finished for the night, explaining to you that he was free. Finally free from the brainwashing that had haunted him for so long. You immediately left the room that the Wakandans had prepared for you and made your way to Bucky’s hut. 

As Bucky approached the hut, he saw you waiting for him. He entered without a word, closing the space between you in a few quick strides. He cupped your face, kissing you deeply, passionately. It was filled with a mix of relief, gratitude, a raw desire. 

You responded immediately, your arms wrapping around his neck, trying to pull him closer. Your bodies pressed together as Bucky's hand dropped from your face, roaming your back. 

Bucky broke the kiss for less than a second, his lips finding your body again as he trailed down your neck. His breath was hot against your skin, as your fingers tangled in his hair. A soft moan escaped your lips as he placed a soft kiss against a sensitive spot below your ear. His hand found its way to the gem of your shift, lifting it effortlessly over your head and tossing it aside before finding your lips with his again. 

Undressing each other in haste, your clothes were discarded carelessly onto the hut floor. His eyes filled with hunger as his gaze met yours for a moment, taking in the image of you standing bare before him. 

His voice was husky as he murmured, “You’re amazing, Baby Girl,” 

You smiled, sliding your hand up and down his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles and the scars on his shoulder. “And, you’re finally free, Sergeant,” you replied, your voice breathless with anticipation. 

Without another word, he lifted you and carried you to the makeshift bed. Laying you down, his eyes danced over your body, taking in every inch of you. His lips captured yours in a hungry kiss and he positioned himself above you. You arched into his touch as his hand explored your body, your nails digging into him. 

Your kisses grew more desperate as his fingers found their way to your inner thigh, teasing his way up to your entrance with gentle strokes. The stokes continued as he reached it. You moaned into his mouth, hips moving in rhythm with his touch. 

Unable to wait any longer, he positioned himself where his fingers previously were, his gaze stayed locked with yours. And, with a single thrust, he buried himself deep inside you. You gasped at the sensation. 

Once he began to move, his hips rocked against yours in a slow steady rhythm. Your back arched off the bed as the pleasure consumed you. His name fell from your lips, driving him to push harder. 

Each movement was deliberate, every touch ignited the desire and longing for one another that neither of your minds let you admit. His thrusts were measured, driving deeper into your core. A chorus of moans and sighs from both your lips filled the hut. 

The sensation of him filling you caused you to wrap your legs around his waist as a wave of pleasure coursed through you. 

The tension within you grew, the pleasure building, it was almost unbearable. You were teetering on the edge, Bucky’s movement grew more urgent as your mumbled begs strained from your voice. “Please, Sergeant, please.” 

“Please what, baby?” his voice whispered against your ear, his lips finding your neck again. 

“Please can I finish, Sergeant?” you pleaded, your voice thick with need and desperation. 

You felt his lips curl into a smirk against your skin, and he continued with his steady, hard thrusts. Each one pushed you closer and closer. He knew exactly what you needed, he could feel the tension within you reaching its breaking point. 

“Let go for me,” he murmured as his grip on your hips tightened. “Let me feel you come apart, baby.” 

His permission pushed you over the edge, and with a ragged cry, you shattered beneath him. Wave after wave of pleasure rushed through you as he continued his rhythm. 

He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his teeth bored into your skin as his high followed closely behind yours. His body began to tremble with the aftershock of his climax. 

~

Bucky collapsed beside you, and then for a long while, neither of you spoke. The air was thick with the scent of sweat and sex and the only sound was your ragged breaths. 

A realization washed over you like a wave crashing. For the first time, he had been gentle and tender. It was filled with emotion and connection. Something that was a stark contrast to the aggressive, rough encounters that would normally leave your body looking like you just came back from an intense mission. 

The weight became too much to bear, you began to gather your clothes from the floor. The simple act of dressing provided you with a sense of normalcy. 

You felt his intense gaze watching you silently.

“I… I think I should go,” you murmured, unable to turn to face him. 

Without a word from him, you slipped out of the hut, leaving behind the warmth and intimacy. Instead, enveloping yourself with cool night air as tears stung at the corners of your eyes. 

---

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[lokidokieokie]

Healing Hearts

Summary: your typical enemies to lovers plot, except it’s only one-sided… and Y/n's Bucky's physical therapist/nurse.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Nurse!Reader

Warning(s): brooding Bucky, mentions of physical therapy, other than that nothing else I can think of...

Bucky Barnes had always been a solitary man. He preferred to keep to himself and avoid unnecessary interactions with others. So when he woke up in a hospital room, with a perky nurse named Y/n assigned to him, he knew that he was in for a long and frustrating recovery.

From the moment Y/n walked into his room, she was like a ray of sunshine. She was constantly talking, asking him how he was feeling, and offering him unsolicited advice on how to speed up his recovery. Bucky found her incessant chatter annoying and intrusive, and he made it clear that he wanted her to leave him alone.

"You don't have to talk so much, you know," Bucky grumbled as Y/n tried to engage him in conversation.

She smiled brightly. "I'm just trying to keep you company, Mr. Barnes. I know it can be lonely in here."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "I don't need company. I need to heal and get out of this hellhole."

Her smile faltered, and she looked hurt. But Bucky couldn't bring himself to care. He had more important things to worry about than hurting the feelings of a chatty nurse.

As the days went on, Bucky found himself becoming more and more irritated with Y/n. She was always there, hovering over him, and he couldn't escape her constant attention. He started to resent her presence, even though he knew that she was just doing her job.

One day, as she was helping him with his physical therapy exercises, she accidentally brushed against his metal arm. Bucky winced, and she immediately pulled back.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Barnes. Did that hurt?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

Bucky gritted his teeth. "Yeah, it hurt. What did you expect, with that clumsy move?"

Y/n looked at him with hurt in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just trying to help you get better."

Bucky glared at her. "You're not helping. You're just getting in the way."

She sighed. "I know you don't like me very much, Mr. Barnes. But I'm just trying to do my job. I want to make sure you're getting the best possible care."

Bucky scoffed. "Yeah, right. You just want to make yourself feel better. You think that if you can fix me, you'll be some kind of hero."

Y/n looked hurt and shocked by his words. "That's not true, Mr. Barnes. I don't help people to make people think I'm the hero; that I'm some sort of saviour for humanity. All I want to do is help people, that's all."

Bucky shook his head. "Save it for someone who cares. I never needed or wanted your help."

As the days went on, Bucky's attitude towards Y/n didn't improve. But despite his constant complaints and snarky remarks, she never gave up on him. She was always there, by his side, offering him words of encouragement and support.

One day, as she was helping him with his physical therapy, Bucky felt a twinge of pain in his leg. He winced, and she immediately stopped what she was doing.

"Are you okay, Mr. Barnes?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

Bucky looked up at her, and for the first time, he saw her in a different light. He saw the kindness in her eyes, the determination in her voice, and the genuine care in her actions. He realised that he had been wrong about her all along. She wasn't annoying, she was kind and caring.

Bucky felt a strange feeling in his chest as he looked at her. He couldn't believe that he had been so blind to her kindness before. She had been nothing but patient and supportive towards him, even when he had been rude and ungrateful.

"I'm fine," he muttered, feeling embarrassed by his outburst. "Sorry for snapping at you."

She smiled warmly at him. "It's okay, Mr. Barnes. I understand that you're in pain, and it can be frustrating."

Bucky nodded, feeling grateful for her understanding. "I guess I've just been a bit of a jerk to you, haven't I?"

She shrugged. "It's okay. I know that you didn't mean it."

Bucky sighed, feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders. "Thanks for being patient with me, Y/n. I really appreciate it."

Y/n grinned at him. "Of course, Mr. Barnes. That's what I'm here for."

From that day on, Bucky's attitude towards her began to change. He found himself looking forward to her visits, and he even started to engage in conversations with her. They talked about everything from the latest movies to popular music trends, and Bucky found himself enjoying her company more and more.

One day, as she was helping him with his physical therapy, Bucky realised that he didn't want her to leave. He wanted her to stay with him, to keep talking to him, to keep being there for him.

"Y/n," he said suddenly, as she was packing up her supplies. "Do you want to grab a coffee or something after your shift ends?"

She looked surprised, but she smiled. "Sure, Mr. Barnes. I'd love that."

"Call me Bucky, doll."

Bucky grinned, feeling a strange warmth in his chest. He couldn't believe that he was actually looking forward to spending time with the woman he had once despised. But as he looked at her, he realised that she was more than just a nurse to him. She was a friend, a confidante, and maybe even something more.

As they walked out of the hospital together, Bucky felt a strange feeling of hope. Maybe, just maybe, he had finally found someone who could help him heal his damaged heart.

A/N who doesn't love the enemies to lovers trope? It's personally a favourite of mine 🥰

tagging the usual...please lemme know if you'd like to be added or removed.

🏷 @thewaithfuckingannoyme @evelyn-kingsley @moonlight-ee 

[nykie-love-anime]

Day 17 ~ Breakfast In Bed

How Spin the Bottle leads to breakfast in bed and confessed feelings.

“Do you guys want to play spin the bottle?” Tony asks wearing a mischievous grin. You all look at each other before looking at Tony again. “Seriously Mr Stark are we in high school.” You tease the man with a grin knowing he loves these sort of games. “I don’t see why we can’t.” Bucky says with a small smile as he shrugs his shoulders in the mood for some high school games.

All you can do is sigh because you would love the opportunity to kiss him, but what if he doesn’t feel the same. What if your brother says anything because it is his best friend? The thought of your brother not liking you together has been eating you up from inside for a while. But you know what, you are not going to screw up your only chance of kissing the man you had a crush on.

Now this caused Tony to smirk because he knows now you are going to give in, it was his plan after all to get you and Bucky to confess your feelings towards each other. “Alright let’s do this.” You say and James smiles at you with a shy grin. You take your place on the couch that formed a circle full of friends when the party started to die down a bit. Tony places a beer bottle in the middle of the group causing them all to groan but they gave in nonetheless because they know Tony will not give up. “Okay guys.” Tony claps his hands together. “Who wants to go first?" he grins at his colleagues and friends.

“Since Bucky agreed first why doesn’t he go first.” Steve grins as he is in on Tony’s plan. He really wants his best friend and sister to finally get together after years of pining. As Steve looks at James he smiles and nods towards the bottle. “Okay guys how this is going to work is if the bottle lands on you, you are going to go into that closet and do whatever you want for seven minutes.” Tony explains. “Everything is on the table” he smirked looking around the room.

Bucky sighs and moves forward to spin the brown bottle and your breath stops as the bottle starts slowing till it stops completely in front of you. “Y/N.” Natasha call you out of your daze. “Huh?” you look at the ginger and you catch the grin she sends to Steve. “Cool, cool. Ok Tin Man and Ms America it’s your turn.” Tony smirks as you and Bucky blush. Getting on your knees to stand up he follows you towards the closet. And your teams cheers all around you.

“Okay love birds when this door closes do whatever you want. You have seven minutes.” Tony said closing the door behind you and Bucky. “I’m so glad I get to do this with you.” James smiles at you “I’ve been waiting forever to kiss you so if you don’t feel the same please stop me now otherwise I will not be able to help myself.” You blush at the look on his face. “Please kiss me.” You pleaded and he pulls you into a kiss.

‘This day couldn’t possibly get any more perfect.’ you think and before you could think further he pulls away from the kiss. You smile at him and he chuckles. “Please kiss me again.” You whispered against his lips and he happily obliged. He leans forward closing the gap between your faces as he presses his lips, softly, against yours. You really love the feeling of his lips against yours.

As you guys sink towards the floor he places his hands on your hips to pull you onto his lap. You lift your hands to his cheeks rubbing softly as he moves your lips together. He bites your bottom lip as pulls away again to take a breather keeping his forehead against yours. He smiles at you in a shaky voice you begin talking. “That was better than I ever could have imagined it." He nodded pulling you in for a slow kiss before his tongue could enter your mouth the door opens.

“Times up love birds.” You hear your brother laugh as Bucky groans as he pulls away from you. “Guys.” Steve starts with a big grin. “If you wanna date go ahead. I would be happy if you guys are happy.” He smirks. “But just know if you hurt my little sister I will do nothing because she can look after herself.” He finishes as he see the look on your face knowing you are going to say something to him about looking after yourself.

“Okay guys if you will excuse us we are going to bed.” You say with a grin and the group cheered. “Finally.” They cheered again. As you blushed pulling him towards your room. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Tony called after you guys and you giggle before answering. “That is not a whole lot Tones.” He grins before yelling exactly as you and James leave the living room.

When Bucky’s eyes opened the morning he knows he is not getting back to sleep. It was only 7 in the morning so he decided to make breakfast for his newly made girlfriend. The only issue is you look so cute cuddled into him he can’t get up just yet. It took about five minutes to get out but you wouldn’t let him go. So after he got everything made he went upstairs to wake you up.

“Good morning beautiful.” Bucky greeted with a small smile. “I brought you breakfast.” He said pointing at the tray of food on you bedside table. “Good morning handsome.” You greeted with a tired smile stretching as you sit up. “So last night wasn’t a very good dream.” He smiled at you. “No sweetheart.” He said pulling you into a side hug. “Good because I would be very upset if it was.” “Now what did you say about breakfast.” You giggle when you smell French toast, as he pulls you into a good morning kiss you could not help but sigh in content. “I just wanted to say. I really do love you Y/N. I have since we were teens even though it has been a while I really am glad I get to call you my girlfriend.” He said smiling down at you. “I love you too Buck.” You smile up at the man you have loved since you were teens. “I am also really glad I get to call you my boyfriend.”

Day 16 | Masterlist | Day 18

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

MASTERLIST:

Will try my best to keep it updated!!

Requests

Prompts

*************************

Doctor Who:

11:

Causalities and confessions - Summary: The doctor gets into trouble on one of his adventures, luckily you're there to patch him up.

Let me take care of you - Summary: You're a headstrong, mother hen of the group. You always look after everyone without hesitation. But what happens when an adventure goes wrong, leaving you shake and in need of support?

By your side forever - Summary: The doctor feels himself losing hope at the constant return of his worst enemy, but you remind him he's not alone. Based on S5 Ep3 Victory of the darleks.

I should hate you - Summary: When your brother and his wife get taken by the weeping angels, the doctor is the only person you can turn to. Based on S7 Ep5 The angels take Manhattan. Reader is Rory's sibling.

Dream Lord? - The doctors true feelings about himself surface in a battle between reality and the subconscious. Based on S5 Ep7 Amy's choice

Past Versions - you have a run in with an oddly familiar face. Based on S7 Ep16 The day of the doctor.

10:

Send you away - After a trip ends up with you being captured, Teh doctor starts to question his ability to protect you.

Marvel:

Loki:

Safety - Nightmares aren't uncommon for you. But when a particularly graphic one wakes you up, you find comfort in none other than your favourite Norse god.

Freedom of the fall - The tension between tony and steve results to be too much for you. Based during civil war.

Suffocated

Losing Game - You and loki were a losing game, right from the beginning. And you've reached your breaking point.

Bucky Barnes:

Time to heal - For months, you had hated the avengers for what they'd put you through. You never planned on seeing them again. Until you ended up on the same rooftop.

I don’t hate you - A lonely nights in the avengers compound turns out to be the best time to bare your heart to someone.

Tony Stark:

Stay with me - The team has recently found out about your anxiety and panic attacks. Tony refuses to let you suffer alone.

Criminal Minds:

Aaron Hotchner:

Shot for love - An accident on a case makes you realise just how much you care for your boss.

As much as me - Your darkest thought resurfaces at the worst time. Luckily, you're not alone.

You matter - A personal connection to a case takes its toll on you. Aaron reminds you the importance of sharing your burdens.

Dance with me? - With the threat of Garcia's royal ball themed party, Hotch takes it upon himself to make sure you're well prepared.

Just so i could call you mine Pt2 Pt3 (Complete) - Hotch chooses to believe Haley over you when it comes to your relationship, causing you to lose the man you love.

Derek Morgan:

I’ve got you Pt2 Pt3 (Complete) - Being friends with BAU agents can come with complications. And when one of those arrives at your doorstep, Derek is there to help.

Spencer Reid:

Look at me - Something about this case hadn't sat right with you, and you couldn't figure out why. Until it all came crashing down.

BBC Sherlock:

Hold me - Sherlock doesn't realise how touch starved he truly is until he meets you.

High for love Pt2 - Sherlocks using again and you have to look after him. But what happens when he says something he probably wasn't supposed to?

The men you meet Pt2 - Your feelings for sherlock are driving you insane. In an attempt to get over him, you agree to a date with a guy you meet at a coffee shop. However, this seems to bring more harm than good. (Ongoing series)

NBC Hannibal:

Held through the darkness - You didn't realise how much you needed the comfort of your former psychiatrist

[geeky-politics-46]

Sneak peeks for Sacrifices - Part 4! I couldn't decide on just one, so you are getting like 4, lol:

- Vincent literally follows his dad around now as he performs his sorcerer's duties.

- Sexy time with Stephen in his favorite position as discussed in part 3 😉

- Bucky will be having a bigger part in the next couple parts.

- Bucky has developed a tendency of interrupting your naughty time with Stephen more often then your actual 5 year old. Stephen hates it.

[lexiepoch]

Fridge Jail

Pairings: Loki x reader, reader x avengers (platonic)

Authors Note: I have no idea where this came from but it's here so ... Enjoy!

Word Count: 929

"Where is Y/n?" asks Steve, wandering into the library room.

"Not sure. Maybe check the gym?" suggests Nat.

"Good idea, I just came from the garage where Tony's working on something and she's not there. I'll go check the gym now, thanks Tash."

"Mhm," mumbles the ginger in reply, already buried back into her novel.

"Hey Sam! Buck! Either of you seen Y/n in the last twenty?"

"Nah man, last I saw her was breakfast." responds Bucky.

"I saw her about forty minutes ago now, she was arguing with Loki. Surprise, surprise. You might want to go talk to him," offers Sam, taking a gulp of his water.

"Good idea. Thanks Sam!"

"No problem man!"

Steve makes his way through the compound searching through the common spots where Loki hangs out a lot. He finds him in the kitchen, making a mug cake. "Hey Loki, have you seen Y/n by chance?"

"Yes I have, Steven. If you look directly to your left, you will as well." points out the god of mischief, putting the mug into the microwave.

Steve looks to where Loki stated, and there you sit. On top of the refrigerator. Hands and feet bound, with a gag in your mouth keeping you from making much noise. "Loki, why is Y/n tied up, gagged and on top of the fridge?" asks Steve as you make small grabby hands in the direction of the blond.

"She was bratting, as per usual. I got the idea of sitting her atop the refrigerator from the internet. But seeing as I know that if I put her up there without any bindings she would simply jump off. Hence why she is bound. She is in timeout." Explains the god, smirking as he does so. The microwave beeps and Loki retrieves his delicacy.

"O-kay then. That still doesn't explain as to why she is gagged though,"

"I gagged her because she was whining and whimpering quite noisily. Darling he is not going to take you out from your timeout, you still have ten minutes left. Do I need to add another five? As I was saying, she was being overly whiny. And her whines attract unneeded-" Loki is cut off by you smacking your ankles on the cupboards beside you and crying loudly against the gag in your mouth. "For that, I am adding another ten minutes up there and five swats, darling. Are you sure you want to be fussing around?" Loki states, making you tear up a little.

"Reindeer games, why is Y/n on my fridge?" asks Stark, coming into the kitchen and grabbing and apple.

"Timeout." responds Loki simply. Tony shrugs, biting into his Granny Smith as he walks away. Turning back to Steve, Loki continues. "As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, her whines attract unneeded attention. Which is exactly what she wants when she is bratty. Hence the gag. Now, was there a particular reason you were searching for her, Steven?"

"Yes, there is. Her court ordered therapist phoned to say that Y/n has skipped the last three of their mandatory meetings. And that if she misses the next one Y/n will have to be placed under arrest and brought to the clinic through force." You cry out through the gag again as Loki shakes his head.

"Well then. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. She will be dealt with. What punishment fits the crime the best, in your opinion Captain?"

"I think that the denial of four orgasms should teach her a lesson."

"I like the way you think, Rogers. That sounds perfect."

~An hour and a half later~

"Stevie?" you whine, limping into the library room. You are only dressed in a baggy shirt and men's underwear.

Steve and Nat both look up from their respective books and coo sympathetically at you. "Hey Y/n, you alright button?" asks Steve, draping his book over the arm of the sofa. You shake your head, rubbing at your wrists, where the rope dents remain. "Oh, button. Come sit honey." You shuffle over and sit slowly on the cushion before whining at the discomfort.

"Nope, hold her up Steve, I'll stick a pillow underneath her." says Nat, lurching from her spot to go retrieve the thick throw pillow she tossed across the room earlier. As she returns with the pillow in hand, Steve carefully lifts you off the couch, ensuring not to as much as brush your 'goods'. Nat places the throw pillow underneath Steve's hands and helps him lower you back down.

"Did he at least give you one before he cleaned you up, button?" You nod. "It was good, huh?"

"So good. Always feels so good." you mumble, leaning into the man beside you. You snuggle your face under his chin and doze off as he picks his book back up.

A few minutes later Nat speaks up. "So, where did you find her?"

"Fridge jail, in timeout." Steve snickers as he say the words 'fridge jail'.

"Wait, fridge jail? Like all those fake ass videos on social media?" Nat giggles.

"Yep, just like those. But for real. Loki had her bound and gagged so she couldn't cry for forgiveness as she does or jump down. It wasn't bad planning. Maybe I'll use it on somebody else in this room who gets bratty sometimes." Steve side-eyes the woman on the opposite end of the couch.

"You wouldn't dare," Nat's face drops and she crosses her arms.

"Oh but wouldn't I?" Steve winks at the ginger.

La Fin

[urdepressedslut]

I don't know if you usually take requests, but could you please write a drabble about Bucky taking care of the reader during her period? Period cramps are killing me and I just want some cuddles 🥺

aw i love this 🥹 i’m sorry your cramps have been bad, i’m sending you all the love and hugs your way💗 i hope this bucky fluff makes you feel better 🥰

Cuddles

♡ Pairing: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Bucky helps comfort you when you are having bad period cramps.

♡ Warnings: SUPER FLUFFY, light angst, period cramps, blood (duhhh), light self hate

main masterlist

* i know this is mickey, but let’s pretend it’s post tfatws!bucky *

You had showered after a long day, doing your usual routine— taking your time to really treat yourself after a tough week.

Immediately after sinking into bed, the sheets feeling so good against your freshly shaven legs— it took no time at all for you to slip into a much needed slumber. You didn’t know you could sleep so soundly, so well. Most nights consisted of rolling and waking up occasionally in sweats. Tonight was the first, as you slept through the entire night, waking only the next morning.

You were excited to start off your Saturday after a good nights rest, except when you went to get up— you noticed you were still exhausted. It was then you could feel your back ache, all your limbs heavier than usual. You furrowed your brows in confusion, thinking perhaps you had gotten too much sleep. But as you swung your legs over the edge of the bed, you suddenly felt something wet in between your thighs.

Glancing down, ripping the cover off— everything dawned on you at the sight of red smearing the inside of your thighs, your underwear ruined.

Fucking periods.

You knew getting that good of sleep was too good to be true. You could feel the tears working their way up, your nose burning with frustration. You had just cleaned and changed all your sheets, taken a shower. Now everything, including you were dirty again— like you had never done any of the cleaning to begin with.

You knew it was just your emotions running wild, so you willed your tears to stay away. Sucking in a deep breath, you walked to the bathroom sluggishly. You made it your mission to grab a pill before the cramps started— you had learned your lesson. Although you were starting your period, you were not going to let this ruin your weekend. You were going to have a nice relaxing weekend. Not letting the beauties of being a woman ruin your day.

If only you had kept that attitude up for the entire day. The cramps had come as you expected, but this time the pill did nothing to relieve the pain. The heating pad worked only for a few minutes before the pain came crashing in waves, your body attempting to curl in on itself from the discomfort.

You swore a ghost was digging a knife in your uterus, and right now— you’d appreciate if the ghost just ripped out your uterus completely.

You had holed yourself up in your room, only making it downstairs for breakfast before you were running back to your bathroom to empty the contents of your stomach back out. This was definitely one of the worst periods you’d had in awhile, and you just wanted to slip into a coma until it was over.

Knocking sounded from your door, and you rolled over still clutching your stomach. You looked a mess, you felt like a disaster. Periods always made you feel gross.

“Yeah?” You asked out loud, and you couldn’t hide the discomfort from your tone.

“(Y/n)? You okay?” Bucky asked through the door.

Your eyes widened at his voice, wondering what he was doing here.

You and Bucky had been dating for awhile now, and things had been great. You still managed to get flustered by practically anything he did— and he loved every second of your flustered state. There was one thing that was brought up though— and that was periods.

“Uh— yeah I’m fine! Just tired!” You shouted, nervous that he could sense your lie. He definitely could.

It’s not that you thought he’d judge you for being a woman and having a period. But you were shy to show him that vulnerable side of you. Both you and him had shown the soft sides of each other— clinging to each other when you needed each others comfort. But there was something extra vulnerable about this— and you couldn’t ignore the embarrassment you felt when you even thought of it. You didn’t want him to find you gross, or annoying as you whined.

Okay… I guess you were a little nervous that he’d judge you.

“Doll what’s going on? Can I come in?” He asked, his voice growing more concerned.

You pulled the cover over your legs, giving the room one last once over— it didn’t look terrible. You just wished you could have a minute or two to tidy up. You knew Bucky very well though, and he’d break the door down if you waited one more second.

“Of course, come in!” You announced finally, taking a deep breath, hoping a cramp didn’t hit you while he visited.

The door opened and Bucky peeled his head in first, after making eye contact with you— he sent a warm smile before heading all the way in, shitting the door behind him. He quickly made his way to the bed where he plopped down, looking over you concerned.

“Baby what’s going on? I feel like I haven’t seen you much today. You sure you’re just tired? You aren’t getting sick are you?” He rambled on, and your heart swelled at his concern.

“Buck— I’m fine really. Just didn’t sleep too good last night.” You completely lied, last night was the best sleep you had ever had. Too bad it leaked into today though.

He furrowed his brows and looked at you like he was about to figure you out— see right through you and pick out the lies. You wouldn’t be surprised if the serum gave him those abilities.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” He asked softly, scooting closer so he could slip his hand underneath the covers to land on your bare thigh.

It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but you feared you’d get blood on him. You knew that was a silly thought— but you were paranoid.

He noticed you tense up from his touch and immediately he removed his hand, his face growing more concerned.

“Baby, what is it?” He pried, trying to look you over again— needing to know what the cause of your discomfort was.

You sighed and gave in, shoulders sagging in defeat. You didn’t want him to worry, and seeing his frantic eyes search you for a wound— you realized you were making this bigger than it needed to be. You just couldn’t ignore the embarrassment you felt.

“It’s just uh… I’m… I’m on my period Buck.” You mumbled, lowering your eyes to the bed.

His concerned expression melted away, his heart falling back into a regular rhythm. He knew he was prehistoric— but he knew what a period was. He just didn’t know why you wanted to hide it from him.

“Oh.” He finally said, “Doll— you can tell me things like that.”

“I know Buck but… it’s embarrassing and gross. I can usually deal with it and nobody ever notices— you know because it’s a normal thing.” You told him, playing with the edge of the comforter. “This one has just been pretty bad and… I just— I don’t know.”

You trailed off, avoiding his gaze. Bucky reached his hand over and tucked some stray hairs behind your ear. Tracing his fingers down your jaw to raise your chin up— that way he could look into your eyes.

“You’re not gross, okay? I’m sorry you’re in pain baby— I wish I could take it all away. It’s not fair you have to deal with this all the time.” He told you gently, and you leaned into his touch.

“It’s not usually this bad but… I don’t know, I guess it’s just a bad one this time around.” You assumed.

Before you could say anything else, you doubled over as the pain came back— stabbing into your uterus. You clutched your lower abdomen— hoping it would help relieve the pain. Bucky’s eyes widened at your whine.

“What can I do to help?” He rushed out, hands hovering over you.

If it were any other time, you’d find his protective, mama bear mode adorable. But for now— you were too busy being in pain.

“Just stay with me please? I don’t wanna lay here alone.” You admitted, your words coming out in whimpers.

Bucky wasted no time in kicking his shoes off, shimming his jacket off before he crawled back into the bed, sneaking under the covers. He leaned back against the headboard, pulling you on top of him.

“Don’t even have to ask doll, I’m staying right here. You comfortable?” He asked.

You reached down and raised your shirt just above your belly button, before you lifted his shirt the same. He furrowed his brows, wondering what you were doing. You laid down completely again, letting your skin smush against his, and because he was a super soldier and was always hot— his warm stomach felt amazing against your lower abdomen. Like a personal heating pad.

“Ahh… that feels good. You’re so warm.” You sighed, ticking your face into the crook of his neck.

He chuckled and smiled into your hair, wrapping his arms protectively around you.

“I love you baby.” He whispered to you, already feeling your breathing even out— falling asleep on him.

Your uterus calmed for now, the warm sensation soothing your pain. You could only wait until the next wave of pain came— but you knew you’d be okay with Bucky holding you.

“Love you too Buck.” You mumbled sleepily against his neck, your breath warming his skin.

He hated that you were in pain, wishing that he could take it all away— but he’d give you as many Bucky cuddles as you needed until you were sick of him.

Truthfully, you’d never get sick of Bucky cuddles.

A/N: short but sweet 🥰

[the-winter-spider]

Ive been working on something… trying to sort of branch out (ive still been working on my other fics as well dw) BUT this is a AU with an OC 🥺🥺 its a bucky fic OF COURSE but i already have 52k words lmaoooo 😅😅 honestly might way till im done to post parts so i dont leave people hanging we’ll see! Ive never written anything like this or this long WOW

——

Homecoming is a deeply emotional and nostalgic story of love, loss, and second chances. Eloise ‘Ellie’ Rogers returns home for the summer after years of being away at college, carrying the weight of her mother's death and a toxic relationship she can't seem to escape. As she reconnects with her past—her family, her close-knit group of friends, and Bucky Barnes, the boy who once held her heart—Ellie begins to unravel the complexities of who she was and who she’s becoming.

Surrounded by familiar faces—her brother Steve, her fiery best friend Natasha—Ellie seeks solace in the place that raised her, while battling the grief of her mother's passing and the unresolved feelings she still harbors for Bucky. Years ago, Bucky and Ellie’s connection was undeniable, but life and unspoken fears drove them apart. Now, as the summer heat ignites old memories, Ellie must confront the truth behind their separation, and Bucky must face the fact that his feelings for her never truly faded.

But things are more complicated than they appear. Ellie is stuck in a possessive relationship with Tommy, a boyfriend who embodies everything toxic in her life. His jealousy, especially over Bucky, tightens his hold on her even as she longs to break free. And all the while, Bucky is haunted by his own past—his struggles with PTSD from the army and the missed opportunities with the only girl he’s ever loved.

With her heart torn between the past and the present, Ellie must decide if she’s willing to take the leap and fight for her future. Can she reclaim the love she’s always wanted with Bucky, or will the ghosts of their past—and her own unresolved trauma—keep them apart?

Homecoming is a story about finding strength in vulnerability, learning to heal after loss, and discovering that sometimes, love deserves a second chance—especially when it’s the love that never really left.

—-

Thoughts??????? 💭

[buckets-and-trees]

Christmas Eve Eve [Bucky x Reader]

Characters/Pairings: Bucky x gn!Reader, background Sam + family Word Count: 1.1k Summary: Just a Christmas Eve Eve. Nothing special or dramatic, and yet that’s the beauty of it.

Content Warnings: fluff, and be careful not to knock over the blanket fort!, fluff for the sake of fluff

Additional Notes: Woke up, wanted to give Bucky some soft fluffy holiday time this morning, thought about it while I was getting ready to go visit fam for the holidays, wrote it. Thus bloomed this fifth installment of the 2022 Holiday Extravaganza.

A/N 2: Also, just … decided I wanted Sam to have an adorable little family sitch going on because SAM WILSON DESERVES THE WORLD! And of course he’s the best dad and dotes on his kids with any moments he can have with them, and of course loves hard on his queen of a wife. OKAY THAT’S ALL.

A/N 3: I know there are quite a few new faces since posting my Namor fic... and this is NOT that, hahaha. I wanted some soft holiday fluff for Bucky, but I also needed to just take a gentle jaunt after putting my whole ovarios into that fic last night hahaha.

A high-pitched squeal broke into tiny giggles and then a mini human with fluffy hair came running madly past Bucky in the hallway, her father chasing after her, warning how he’s going to capture the toddling little girl and take her away for bath time.

Bucky stopped as he rounded the corner to the living room and leaned against the entryway, taking in the scene before him. Sam had trapped little Leanne on the couch and was smothering her with tickles and kisses while she squirmed in delight, clearly not wanting to escape her daddy’s attention. Closer to the Christmas tree, a modest but impressive blanket fort had been erected. You were hunkered within its cozy walls reading a book with five-year-old Terrence pressed up against your side and a small mountain of books still waiting next to him.

“Samuel!” Janelle blustered in from behind him. “I know you’re doing your daddy thing, but we’ve got to keep things moving tonight!”

“I am but here to do your bidding, my queen,” he said, immediately scooping Leanne up.

“How you manage to save the world when you can’t manage to get this girl to her bath time and bed is beyond me.”

“Maybe I’ll have to try again with my other girl later tonight,” Sam quipped back, planting a quick kiss on his wife’s cheek as he walked past.

Janelle laughed and swatted him away. “If we ever get to bed tonight! You know what we’ve got to tackle later.”

“It’s why I brought in reinforcements, babe,” he called over his shoulder, already on his way to the bathroom.

“You don’t have to take a bath tonight, but you’re going to be next, young man,” she said, pinning Terrence with her motherly stare.

“But it’s Christmas Eve Eve! Can’t I stay up?”

“You know Santa’s still watching to make sure you’re a good boy, he hasn’t packed up all the presents in his sleigh yet.”

“Just five more books!”

“Five?” she exclaimed.

Bucky tried to keep a straight face as your eyes met and he saw you were trying not to shake too much with your own silent laughter.

“Because I’m five!”

“How many books have you two already read tonight?”

“Um… just some. She does the best voices!”

“Aw, thank you,” you said, squeezing his little shoulder as your arm was wrapped around him.

He grinned up at you, then turned his face back to his mom. “Please.”

“One more.”

“Four more?”

Janelle pressed her lips together, but had a soft twinkle in her eye. “Tell you what, you were such a good helper with your sister earlier today, if you go run and put on your pajamas and brush your teeth, you can come back and read three more books if–“

“If?” he eagerly hangs on the condition.

“If it’s okay with y/n.”

Terrence looked up at you again.

Bucky loved seeing that easy and eager smile on your face. “You go brush those teeth like nobody’s business, and I’ll be waiting right here! Maybe Bucky will even read with us when you get back.”

“I’ll be so fast!” Terrence said, jumping up and darting out of the room.

“Thank you,” Janelle sighed, sinking down on the couch for a moment. “Both of you.”

“Like Sam said,” Bucky chimed in, “we’re reinforcements tonight. Happy to help with anything you need.”

“Mostly it’s just that marathon of present wrapping as soon as both the kids are asleep, but if you’re good to read to Terrence until Sam gets Leanne down and can come put Terrence to bed, I actually need to call my mom to confirm their travel plans coming in tomorrow?”

“Of course!” you answered. “Even though I do the best voices, Bucky and I are both excellent readers. Take care of whatever you need to.”

“You really are helping more than you know,” Janelle said, smiling warmly at both of you as she went into the other room.

Bucky moved closer, and you held your hand out to pull him down and into the fort with you. He had to be careful as he settled in among the pillows and blankets, his big frame only just fitting in the cozy structure. As he leaned back into the mountain of fluff piled up against the wall, you cuddle up next to him, and he hummed happily as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

“Hey!” Terrence ran back into the room at full speed, pulling up full stop only a foot away from the entrance to the fort. “You took my spot!”

“We’ll make room for my favorite godson,” Bucky said. “Don’t you ever worry about that.”

With a little jostling around, the three of you fit snugly together and got to reading, Terrence sandwiched between you. A whole seven books later – to Terrence’s delight – the young Wilson was ultimately taken away for his own bedtime with Sam. Then the table in the kitchen got converted to Santa’s wrapping headquarters, Bucky and you assisting to bring in presents from the strategic hiding places, pulling out the paper, tape, ribbons, tags, and bows. The marathon truly did last for hours, the last gift finally wrapped just a little after midnight, but the laughter and conversation between all of you as friends made the time and the task go by easily.

You held Bucky’s hand on the drive back to your apartment, the two of you singing along to the radio on and off as some of the melodies drew you in.

You collapsed into bed, and Bucky followed, though you dropped off to sleep almost immediately, and Bucky was up a little longer, his mind buzzing over the day – Christmas Eve Eve with the Wilsons.

Bucky’s had a fair few holiday seasons that have been filled with this kind of warmth and joy. The first had felt unreal and undeserved, but with each holiday – with each everything over the years – he’s becoming more and more natural at just living life. He’s pracitally reveling in the beauty of the normal and the special, forgotten dreams from his 40’s self, the things he never thought about as the Winter Soldier, didn’t think he deserved after escaping that life, but realizing he can have now that he’s really and truly him again. It was the first time doing the holidays this way, and only his second Christmas with you. He wants more of this – the normal and the special firsts, seconds, thirds and more of everything. When he turns on his side, studying the familiar silhouette of you next to him, he knows who he wants more nights of laughter, kisses, conversation, and living life with, too.

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[fablehaven-rulez]

Holy fuck, this is so good

Request 👉🏼👈🏼 ? Black widow!reader and winter soldier!Bucky! He was her teacher in the red room, where they eventually fell in love and started a secret relationship, until Hydra and Dreykov found out and separated them. Fast forward several years, Bucky’s out of recovery, reunited with Steve, and living a better life when Tony brings in a new team member. And everyone’s excited but Bucky’s on edge and kinda wary until he learns who it is.

It’s his lil widow, the love of his life, his soulmate. the one Hydra and the red room stole from him, the girl he kept dreaming about no matter how many times his handlers tried to wipe his memories. Just complete fluffy, smutty, love sick shit with him being a massive simp for his deadly girl. maybe building a family, getting married, drabbles of him drooling over her skills or her in the widow suit, like oh yea, I taught her that. I can imagine him being so overly protective, constantly holding her close to his chest because she was stolen away from him once, he won’t survive if that happens again.

YESSSSS God this is so cute and smutty and angsty and FLUFFY it makes my chest itch in the best way. Pls ignore what google translate may have botched. Bucky is the cutest, horny, most deadly simp here, so proud of his girl, absolutely yes.

"ne proyavlyay miloserdiya, soldat" [Show no mercy, soldier], Dreykov hissed, letting the soldier enter the red room with a single widow standing before him, not an ounce of fear in her eyes. The soldier grunted, hitting the button that locked the door that kept her from escaping before lunging forward, testing her agility after personally training her himself.

She leapt over him with ease, bracing her hands on his wide shoulders and landing swiftly behind him and swiping her leg under him to knock him to the floor, straddling him immediately after. He grasped her hands in his, rolling over till she was pinned under his large mass with her wrists held together above her head in his metal hand.

"You've learned well kotenok" His voice was husky behind the mask, blue eyes sparkling while she huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Nespravedlivo, kogda ty takoy bol'shoy, soldat" [Not fair when you're so large, soldier]. She gasped feeling him harden on top of her, his rough uniform doing nothing to hide what he was feeling for her, slotted between her thighs.

"Nespravedlivo, kogda ty takoy krasivyy, kotonok" [Not fair when you're so pretty, kitten]. He climbed off her, allowing her to get into position before attacking again, relentlessly throwing punches and blocking them till she nearly collapsed. They retreated to stand at attention at the sound of the doors hissing open, indicating training was over. The soldier grunted a nod as Dreykov walked in, assessing the widow, a sinister smile plastered on his face seeing both of his assets worn but still at their strongest.

He sent them off to their cells, confident that the fear he'd instilled in his captives would be enough to ensure they stayed in line, not realizing his punishments would only go so far.

It wasn't enough to stop the charming young man from Brooklyn who still lived in his most feared asset.

"Did I hurt you baby" The soldier whispered, kissing her bruised knuckles softly after sneaking into her cell, pulling her into his arms.

"You could never" She smiled, melting into his embrace. She never intended on falling in love with the soldier but here she was, feeling his gentle hands wander, leaning up to kiss his soft, pink lips. They were playing a dangerous game but it was to stop now.

He loved her.

She loved him.

-

"Wipe him" The hydra agent ordered while the soldier gripped onto the chair, gritting his teeth while sharp burning spread through his body, frying his brain. The widow dug her nails into her palms, resolve slowly crumbling seeing the love of her life tortured, unable to hold back anymore.

"Stop!" She finally broke, unable to watch any longer, gasping at the sinister smile Dreykov gave her, ordering his men to grab her before increasing the voltage.

"My, my, does it hurt you when we hurt him" Dreykov sneered, turning up the dial, Bucky's screams tearing her apart on the inside.

"Don't-AH-JAMES" A hydra soldier gripped her hair, yanking her back before she could go to him, shackles binding her hands together, dragging her away.

"kotenok" [kitten] The soldier sadly whispered, unheard by her, her kicking and screaming form blurry from his unshed tears. He screamed in pain as another shock ripped through his veins before the world went black.

He never saw her again.

-

Bucky gasped, sucking in a deep breath of air, his chest heaving from the dream he'd just had, sweat covering his chest, dripping from his forehead.

It was the same thing almost every night.

His mind replaying the same thing over and over again; training with her in the red room, the way she felt under him, the way he'd cuddle and make love to her afterwards without a soul knowing. He didn't plan on falling for the woman he had to train to be a killer but he didn't stand a chance the day she'd knocked him down with a knife pressed to his neck seconds later. He could have married her then and there.

He slumped back against his pillow, running a hand over his face, groaning in frustration.

In the several years, he'd slowly managed to get his life back together. He was apart of the team and living at the compound with Steve and the others. He was no longer controlled by trigger words, he had been forgiven by the government, he was starting to recover from all the trauma he'd endured. His nightmares were less frequent, slowly learning to forgive himself for the things he'd been forced to do under Hydras control.

The only thing he never got over was her.

She still lived in his dreams. Still owned his heart. That was his girl and she was torn away by the very people that had taken everything else from him too. No amount of wiping or torture took her away. His handler tried his hardest, shocking him till his nose bled and his veins nearly burnt to bits but her name would fall from his lips as he lay nearly unconscious.

His sweet widow.

Bucky glanced at the faint light starting to stream through the curtains, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed to get up instead of attempting to sleep for 5 more minutes. He threw on a hoodie and some joggers, making his way to the gym to punch his feelings away as usual. He didn't stop till his knuckles split, ignoring the sting, instead thinking about how he'd kiss her soft hands after he'd train her, bandaging them up when no one was looking.

The hot water from the shower did little to ease the tension in his muscles as he made his way to the kitchen next, plopping onto a stool with a cup of coffee. He was just about to try and relax with his coffee until Steve popped his head in with a grin.

"There you are! Tony was looking for you, we're all heading up now!" Bucky frowned in confusion while Steve grabbed his own mug, filling his cup.

"Why are we having a meeting" Bucky questioned, not willing to get up from his seat, his mind still preoccupied.

"He told you he scouted someone to join the team"

"I remember Tony going on about some new member" Bucky mumbled, not in the mood to meet new people, his anxiety only growing further. "That's today?"

Steve nodded, finishing up the last of his coffee while the brunette stayed glued to the stool.

"Buck, you coming?" Steve turned back to see a frowning Bucky, reluctantly trudging behind the captain while the others excitedly also made their way upstairs to the conference area.

"I heard Tony saying the new agent is scary as shit. Apparently he got his ass handed to him when he tried to test her and he was wearing his suit" Sam snorted while Nat smiled with excitement.

"Finally someone worth sparring with" The redhead nudged him while he shook his head.

"I'm serious! She's deadly deadly. I looked over her file, she's killed more people than you and Clint combined and half of those were hand to hand combat"

"What was the other half"

"Sniper. Like Barnes" Sam nodded to Bucky who was still disconnected from the others, his knee bouncing impatiently.

"We're lucky she's on our side" Steve mused, taking a glance of the file that sat on the table. There was no name or picture to go with it but it had a skillset record nearly put his to shame. "Jesus"

"You good?" Sam whispered to Bucky, noticing he was more closed off than usual, getting a tightlipped grimace like smile in return. Steve sat near the front, straightening himself up while the rest quietened down, hearing the sound of Tony speaking to someone as they approached the room. The billionaire opened the door, letting in the new team member first before entering himself with a large smile on his face.

"Everyone, this is-

"Y/n?" Bucky gasped, shoot up from his seat before Tony could finish, the other sharing confused glances between each other, watching the new team member and Bucky freeze.

"Wait, Barnes, you know-

"Malyshka, eto pravda ty?" [Babygirl, is it really you?] Bucky gasped, his heart hammering against his chest, tears already threatening to spill out. "kotenok, skazhi mne, pozhaluysta, chto eto ty" [kitten, please tell me its you]

"Hold up, he can still speak Russian?" Sam hissed to Steve who hadn't moved, mouth gaping, eyes wide.

"James!" You darted across the room to meet Bucky half way, his strong arms catching and lifting you up with ease as your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. "moy soldat. YA zdes', moy malysh" [my soldier. I'm here my babyboy]

"It's really you" He whispered against your hair, breathing in your soft scent, eyes squeezed shut with tears streaming down his face, "My baby" He cradled you tightly, refusing to set you down while you buried your face into the crook of his neck, drowning out the rest of the world. After you were torn apart from him, you had been locked up in an isolated cell, only let out for select missions Dreykov send you on. You wanted to find your soldier, your James, but you never did with Hydra keeping him under their control.

Now you finally had him again.

"Ahem, as I was saying- This is y/n" Tony addressed the rest of the team, just as surprised as the rest of them with all eyes on Bucky especially. "She'll be joining us once Barnes puts her down"

"Never" Bucky finally pulled away, still holding onto you, his nose nudging against yours, "M'never putting her down, never, you hear me babygirl?" He pressed his lips onto yours, shamelessly kissing you hard, ignoring the whistles that filled the room, only pulling away for air. You let out a shy giggle as he set you back on your feet, his hand wrapped around your waist.

"I'd continue to introduce her but I think tinman knows her better" Tony snorted, throwing his hands up before taking a seat, all eyes now watching two of you while Bucky blushed, unable to wipe the smile of his face, cupping your face to press another kiss to your lips.

"This is y/n" Bucky finally let you go, taking you to the front of the conference room, now proudly showing you off to the other, "She was a widow with Hyrda, handpicked by Dreykov" Bucky sucked in a breath before continuing, giving your hand a squeeze "I trained her in the red room myself when I was still the winter soldier. That's when I fell in love with her" The last part was a whisper, not missed by the team with how lovesick Bucky looked.

"I'm sorry, you trained her? Jesus, no wonder she's deadly" Sam shook his head, now understanding why your file was so impressive. You were already gifted when you were picked, coupled with the fact that you were trained and conditioned by the soldier himself.

"She's fuckin' deadly, alright" Bucky's voice was nearly breathless, his baby blues intently gazing into your eyes. "You should see her with a knife"

That's when I fell in love with you.

"So what happened with you two" Nat prodded, looking at you two with heart eyes which was a rare sight but her heart melted at how soft Bucky was, struggling to keep his hands to himself. He constantly nuzzled into your neck, his large form practically swallowing you whole as he clung onto you like a child.

"They found out we were together so they took me from him" You gave her a sad smile, feeling Bucky hug you tighter; you could have sworn you heard him whimper. "I tried to find him for years but I couldn't"

"Hydra tried to wipe my memories but it never worked. Couldn't forget her" Bucky kissed the top of your head, not realizing his bestfriend was trying to subtly wipe his eyes.

"I was going to have everyone introduce themselves but I think these two have some catching up to do so let's move this meeting over" Tony clapped his hands while everyone else nodded in agreement, leaving you and Bucky alone for some privacy.

"I missed you so much, you have no idea, I-I tried to find you but I just- I could barely function, I'm sorry doll-" Your lips cut off Bucky's rambling, cupping his scruffy face firmly in your hands.

"You have nothing to be sorry about baby, it's not your fault"

"I-I know you just got here and-sweets I don't want to rush anything but-" Bucky's hand gripped your waist while he tried to compose himself, he didn't want to pressure you into anything. "I need you closer baby"

"Take me, soldat" You whispered, not giving him any room to second guess as he hauled you up in his arms, taking you straight to his room. Clothes were off in an instant between frantic and desperate kisses. Bucky didn't rush a thing as soon as he had you naked in his bed, pulling the sheets over you both, rolling over to cuddle instead.

"This is all I wanted" He whispered against your shoulder, kissing your skin, "To have my girl with me again"

"I love you Jamie" You kissed his bare chest, hitching your leg over his waist, his hard length pressing against your soaked cunt. He could feel his tip weeping feeling your soft body pressed against his, still looking just as beautiful, if not more now, from when he'd first met you.

"Prettiest widow" He growled, his wandering hands becoming less wholesome as they moved to your hips, pulling you to press against his erection harder. You moaned feeling him starting to hump your pussy while innocently kisses down your neck, smirking at how he was both sweet and sinful at the same time, just as before. "kotenok, ty mne nuzhen" [Kitten, I need you]

You remembered all the times he'd snuck into your cell for a few cuddles, which always ended up with his hand slammed over your mouth while he railed you with his cock.

"You feel how hard I am for you baby? Mmph, this is all for you, doll" He bit his lip, eyes locked with yours, rolling on top of you, slotting his wide body between your legs, still rutting his hips. "Can I make love to you baby, please" He sounded desperate, dropping his forehead to press against yours, hands coming to pin you against the bed.

"M'yours Jamie" You nodded, spreading your legs wider, not bothering with having prep you, needing him inside you more than anything else. You gasped feeling his thick cockhead rub through your folds before he breeched your hole, stretching you.

"Soldat!" You moaned, your back arching off the bed, the name rolling of your tongue as it had so many times before, your nails digging into his shoulders as he buried himself to the hilt.

"Take your soldat's cock, kotenok" Bucky growled, only giving you a second to adjust before he started to move with slow, deep strokes. "Lemme make love to my babygirl, ya tak sil'no tebya lyublyu" [I love you so much]

After Bucky had been rescued, he had no reason to speak Russian, letting the others think it'd been wiped away just like the words that controlled him. Around you, it rolled off his tongue with ease, your pussy dripping each time he whispered in your ear. Your eyes rolled back feeling him hit that spongy spot deep in your pussy, crying out with the powerful, deliberate snaps of his hips.

"M'I making you feel good baby?" He asked, kissing you sweetly, alternating between the sweetheart and heartbreaker he was, looking at you with soft puppy eyes while his cock grew harder watching your face twist with pleasure. His jaw was slack, thrusting with purpose, moving his hips to roll and let you feel every inch of him filling you up, "You look gorgeous with my cock in you angel, wish you could see how pretty you are, so beautiful like this"

"Oh god James! P-please-m'so close-dont-don-t stop" Your moans grew more salacious, unable to say much else, eyes shutting out of pleasure feeling his hand coming down to rub your swollen clit.

"I know baby, I know, you need me to rub this pretty button, Remember the first time I touched you there pretty girl? How badly you wanted to scream, how much you squirted all over me? Remember when we first made love? First time I tasted you? Remember how shy you were when I spread your legs open and nursed off that little button. How you turned into a slutty kitten, riding and humping my face after? Know your needy little clit loves it, m'gonna rub you till you're screaming"

"Buckyyy" You whined, your face feeling hot at the memory, remembering his growls from under you, turning around to find him jerking his cock faster while he licked and sucked your pussy, cum already painting his abs from cumming once, working to a second orgasm. He'd sealed his lips around your clit, stuffing his mask in your mouth to keep you from alerting the guards.

"Baby, c'mon open your eyes, look at me" Bucky nipped your jaw, his cold hand coming to grasp your cheeks, blue eyes staring into your soul as you opened your eyes, "Don't you dare close them baby, keep em' open when I'm fuckin' you, shit, m'gonna cum for you doll"

"B-Bucky!" You cried, struggling to hold off any longer, your juices soaked him as you started to clench and squeeze his cock, tears nearly streaming down your face.

"Scream all you want baby, don't have to hide those pretty moans ever again" He fucked you through your orgasm, his own balls getting tighter with each thrust, precum mixing with your arousal, dripping onto the sheets, "Thats-that-s it baby, m'gonna cum so hard for you, fill you up, you're mine doll, you're fuckin' MINE"

Bucky's hand flew to the headboard, pounding you into the mattress, moaning loudly, letting the wood splinter under his grip as he came, pumping you full of his seed.

"FUCK y/n" He gasped, collapsing on you, panting, burying his face into your breasts as he always did, turning into a needy baby as if he didn't rail your soul. You giggled, tracing your hand down his spine making his shiver, whining when you clenched around his sensitive, soft cock.

"My soldat" You whispered, carding your fingers through his hair, letting him latch onto your nipple, needily sucking for comfort. No matter how big, bad and scary he was, he always melted into a puddle for you, closing his eyes at the feeling of your sweet peaked nipple against his tongue.

"Never letting you go again" He whispered before falling asleep on your chest, arms wrapped tightly around you. "ty moya rodstvennaya dusha, malyshka" [you're my soul mate, babygirl]

"YA by proshel cherez vse eto snova tol'ko radi tebya, malysh" [I'd go through it all again just for you baby boy] you whispered, closing your eyes in the safety of his hold, meaning each of your words. You'd go through everything a thousand times over if it meant you'd have your Bucky back in your arms. Bucky sniffled, curling up with you, spending the rest of the day alternating between speaking sweet words and making you moan and cry over his cock until you couldn't move any longer. For the first time, he slept peacefully, not stirring once.

-

Ever since you'd come back, Bucky had turned into the biggest simp, alternating between acting like a menace and a complete lovesick puppy with no in between. It was worse when you were on the field, almost leading to Tony refusing to let you both go on missions at the same time.

"Oh god" Bucky groaned, seeing you step out in your sleek suit, the dark material clinging to your body, weapons strapped along your hips. You threw him a wink before running off to kick ass, his focus solely on you.

"Jesus Christ" He nearly moaned seeing you land a kick to an attacker before throwing you knife across the room, the blade landing perfectly between your targets eyebrows. "Baby, you're sexy"

"For fucks Sake Barnes, did you forget we can all hear you" Tony's exasperated voice crackled through, this not being the first time the soldier was distracted watching you fight. Sam and Steve snickered through the coms while Bucky shameless shrugged, still biting his lip, watching you move with ease.

"Have you seen my girl, Stark" Bucky sassed back, walking over bodies to grab you by your ass, squeezing it and smashing his lips against yours.

"Are you two fucking kissing?!" Tony sighed, hearing the sound of soft moans and smacking, "I'm putting you on a fucking leash, I'm getting you fixed Barnes"

"My naughty soldat" You giggled, pulling away, nipping your boyfriends pouty lip while he shook his head.

"Gonna be the death of me, pretty girl"

"You're both gonna be the death of all of us" Tony deadpanned, unable to understand how there was a man out there that was more horny and flirty than him. "I'm having Barnes neutered, for fucks sake I can see you drooling from over here"

-

Bucky was even worse watching you display your skills, his workout long forgotten while you sparred with Steve.

"Where the fuck did you learn that" Steve groaned while you giggled, holding your hand out to help him up while Bucky watched from the side with a cocky smirk.

"I taught her that" He threw you a wink, not so subtly adjusting his sweats.

"Of course you did" Steve huffed, surprised to find bruises on his body from where you'd hit him. "Jesus punk" He blushed heavily seeing his bestfriends raging hard on, scrambling away from the gym, knowing exactly what would come next.

The loud moans he heard moments later made him shake his head, happy he got out of there unlike the last time he saw the warning signs of a feral Bucky.

Aside from being more in love with you than ever, Bucky was also equally protective over you. He'd hug you with such care, always holding your head to his chest, his large arms covering you from the rest of the world, constantly fearing that even if he had you now, someone would come and take you away.

When he finally asked you to marry him, he paused several times, blinking through tears while down on one knee, your hand wiping his cheek, saying yes before he could even finish. The compound was transformed with flowers, candles with a small intimate wedding in the garden.

Steve and Sam stood by Bucky's side while Nat walked with you, your sweet soon to be husband biting back tears seeing his dream girl in her dress, the life he'd always imagine finally becoming a reality. When Tony pronounced you husband and wife, Bucky didn't stop kissing you till he nearly passed out, not a single dry eye surrounding you as he whisked you up in his arms.

-

Bucky felt a strong wave of emotion watching you flit around the kitchen, making his way over and wrapping his arms from behind, tucking his face into your neck. You blinked, feeling tears wet your skin, pulling away to find your husband sniffling.

"Baby, what's gotten into you" You cooed with concern, wiping away the tears that collected along his lashes, kissing his reddened nose. "Is everything okay?"

"Just-m'scared to lose you again" Bucky whispered, his hand coming to protectively wrap around your growing belly; you weren't showing much yet but he could still feel the little baby bump. "I can't loose you again angel, I can't go through that again"

"It won't happen Jamie" You wrapped your arms around his shoulders while he picked you up, setting you onto the counter before hiding against your neck again, hugging you tightly. "What's wrong baby, what's gotten you so scared"

"Can't believe I got you back. I got to marry my dream girl. We're starting a family, you're giving me a baby, I-it feels unreal. M'scared I'm gonna wake up and you'll-" He bit his lip, shuddering at the very thought, "You'll be gone"

"Baby boy look at me" You held his face again, making him look at you, "Would you ever let anyone take me from you again?"

Bucky looked horrifying, francially shaking his head, he'd burn the world to ashes before he let that happen.

"Never. Never angel, no one is taking you or our baby from me" He stated firmly while you hummed.

"See? I'll be just fine. I have my soldat" You whispered, melting against his chest. "No one can hurt me when I have my soldat"

Bucky finally relaxed, carrying you off to bed, his metal arm protecting your belly as he pulled the covers over you both. No one would ever take his little widow away again.

[lokidokieokie]

The Calm After the Storm

Summary: After a grueling mission, Bucky and Y/n find solace and strength in each other's love.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Warning(s): fluffy fluff, mentions of a tough mission, lovey dovey things, Bucky Barnes ('cause he's just a warning himself), lemme know if I missed anything

The sun began to set, casting a golden hue over the tranquil lake as Bucky and Y/n sat side by side on a weathered wooden dock. The air was filled with a gentle breeze, carrying the scent of fresh pine trees and wildflowers. It was a moment of respite after a tumultuous mission, and the both of them relished in the tranquility that surrounded them.

Bucky turned his head to steal a glance at her. The fading light illuminated her face, highlighting the subtle freckles that dusted her cheeks and the soft curve of her lips. The remnants of worry and exhaustion were etched on her features, but they were slowly fading away, replaced by a sense of calm. Bucky couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"You okay?" Bucky asked, his voice gentle yet filled with genuine concern.

She turned to face him, their eyes meeting. She offered a small smile in return, her fingers tracing circles on the dock's worn wood. "Yeah, I'm alright. Just glad we made it back in one piece."

Bucky's metal arm brushed against her own, a silent show of solidarity. "You were amazing out there, you know. I don't know what I would've done without you by my side."

A blush crept onto her cheeks as she averted her gaze, the praise making her heart flutter. "You weren't so bad yourself, Sergeant Barnes. As always, you kicked some serious butt."

Bucky chuckled, the sound melodic and warm. "Guess we make a pretty good team, huh?"

The two fell into a comfortable silence, their shoulders touching as they watched the sun dip below the horizon. The vibrant colours of dusk reflected on the water, casting an ethereal glow that seemed to mirror the connection between Bucky and Y/n. They had been through countless battles together, their shared experiences forging an unbreakable bond.

Her fingers intertwined with Bucky's, their hands fitting together perfectly like the missing pieces of a puzzle. Bucky's touch sent a wave of reassurance and comfort through her, erasing any lingering traces of fear. It was a silent understanding, a language spoken between them without words.

"You know," she began softly, her voice laced with vulnerability, "I don't think I could've come this far without you. You've been my anchor, James."

Bucky squeezed her hand gently, his voice filled with unwavering sincerity. "And you've been mine, Y/n. You've shown me that there's still goodness left in this world, even after everything I've done."

Their gazes met once more, the depth of their feelings mirrored in their eyes. Time seemed to stand still as they leaned in, their lips brushing against each other's in a tender kiss. It was a silent promise, a shared understanding of the love and support they found in one another.

As they pulled apart, Bucky rested his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling. "We'll always have each other's backs, no matter what comes our way. I'll protect you, Y/n. Always."

A tear slipped down Ella's cheek, but it held no sadness. It was a tear of gratitude, of immense love for the man before her. "And I'll stand by your side, Bucky. Through thick and thin."

In that moment, as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, Bucky and Y/n found solace in each other's arms. The echoes of their past faded away, replaced by the promise of a brighter future. Together, they would face whatever challenges lay ahead, drawing strength from their unwavering love and unbreakable bond.

As the stars twinkled in the night sky, the lake embraced their shared silence, forever holding their secret love story beneath its gentle ripples.

A/N ahhh, I just love those two with a passion!

I would also like to apologise for not updating any stories in a while...I've been focusing on my Uni work (shocking, I know); and I've finally just found out where I'm being placed for my teaching practical 😳

New chapters of all my series (both normal and mini) should be coming out soon :)

tagging the usual, please lemme know if you'd like to be removed or added to the taglist :)

🏷 @thewaithfuckingannoyme @evelyn-kingsley @moonlight-ee @fall-myriad

[urdepressedslut]

Stray ❝part twelve❞

♡ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Your true self is slowly being revealed, what is this place you been sent to? What happens when you return home, will Bucky still be there— or will he run?

♡ Warnings: dark themes, angst, drowning, super fluffy, mentions of dead bodies, death

Series Masterlist

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | 18+

You wondered if this was what death felt like. Empty, muted— an inescapable void.

It was calming and terrifying, the quiet welcome. But the environment was blank, colorless. You found yourself itching for something, someone to appear. But it was just you.

Glancing around, you knew you should begin to accept this fate— but you wanted to fight. Bucky was still out there, alone. If this was death, then you’d live in eternity wishing only the best for him, hoping that he could forgive you for leaving him— when you had promised him you wouldn’t.

You immediately shot your hand up, feeling your smooth skin. You remember something cracking down on your skull— but now there was nothing. Like it had never happened. You shuddered at the sickening feeling that was permanently burned into your brain. The feeling of your skull shattering and the pieces moving— grinding against each other. The vibrations of your own skull shifting. Your stomach flipped anxiously— wishing you could forget the memory altogether.

“Who’s there?” A familiar voice sounded through the dull reality, echoing off of non existent walls.

You looked around, eyes wide in fear. Your gut ached with dread, hoping that you didn’t run into the claimed people. Donna— your aunt. The mere thought of all the events that you wished you could forget— came flooding through your mind again. Your stomach was empty, nothing left but to dry heave.

“You’re scared.” The voice spoke again, this time closer.

You didn’t dare looked up from your hunched over position, dreading what you would see when you looked up.

Risking a glance anyway, you lifted your head— only to meet eyes with yourself. You would’ve thought it was a mirror, but the version of you that stiff across the way— was eerily different.

She stood still as ever, the cloth like material wrapping around you like a cocoon. A jagged fence like crown sat a top your head, blending with the cloth. A withered flower looked to be carved into her forehead— of what was showing. The cloth dropping down form the crown covered her eyes in a haunting shadow. Only could you see her fully in certain lighting. Lastly, what had you so mesmerized and scared was the way her hair and cloth would lightly float behind her, like she was merely a ghost passing by.

“You look like me.” You whispered, voice hoarse from your dry heaving.

She tilted her head, almost like she was examining you.

“I am you.”

You stayed still, staring at her without blinking— in fear she’d creep closer the second you closed your eyes.

“How? Where… where am I? I don’t belong here!” You rushed out, beginning to panic.

You felt uneasy as she stared at you, her head tilting back and fourth again— like she was examining you head to toe. You don’t know why it was more unsettling when it was yourself staring at you.

Like the fear of staring at your reflection in the mirror. The fear that your reflection may move without you doing so— except it was real now. At that, you found it one hundred times more horrifying.

“Where are we?” You asked again, feeling comforted by the idea that you weren’t alone here. We. Even if it was yourself, you still felt less alone.

“In the Lacuna.” She answered casually, face unchanging. Her features stayed cold and emotionless.

You looked around, risking taking your eyes off her. Everything was blank, empty. How could you be somewhere?

“I don’t understand…” You whispered out to no one in particular.

“You’re only here, because you want to be here.” She started, body as still as stone when she talked. “You met your end in the real world, and now you seek help in the Lacuna. The sliver of nothing in between the real world and after.”

You felt like throwing up again, the mere mention that you had died. But you couldn’t understand why you weren’t really dead, instead being held hostage in this gap.

“Nothing makes sense.” You admitted, staring mindlessly at thee dark form.

“No, it wouldn’t. It’s rare you’ll ever come back to the Lacuna again. You’re here because you called for me, as I called for you. I’ve been waiting for you to let me in for so long.” She spoke out, her words dripping solemn.

You didn’t know why you felt bad, thinking of her being trapped here for years and years. All the signs, all the weird occurrences. Was it her? No— because she’s you.

“This is all in my head?” You tried, remembering the mantras you’d repeat to yourself. All those times you’d fight the illusions— but now you wondered if it was all in your head… or if it was her. You.

“Yes. Time has stopped in the real world. You could stay here forever if you wanted, and no time would pass in the real world.” She explained, and you for a second thought that sounded peaceful.

A pause in the chaos, letting yourself breathe and think— knowing nothing could happen until you wanted it to.

Bucky filled your mind suddenly, the guilt of staying away from him too long, eating away at you. Though time was paused for him, you couldn’t help but feel terrible.

“What about Bucky?” You thought out loud.

The other you tilted her head in curiosity, hanging onto every word you said like it was fascinating.

“What about him?” She responded.

You shivered at her lack of emotion when talking about him.

“I wanna be with him. I don’t wanna be here anymore,” You told her, “I don’t wanna talk to you anymore.”

She just stared at you, staying silent for a moment longer than you were comfortable with. She slowly took a step closer, so quickly it seemed like a glitch in time. The haunting way her capes would float behind her, like a following shadow.

“There’s so much you don’t know yet— you sure you wanna go back? Things aren’t ever going to be the same.” Other you said mysteriously and it sounded more like a warning than a question.

You thought for a moment— what did she mean by that?

Before you could finish another thought, everything faded into darkness. It was quiet— and suddenly it wasn’t.

You were suddenly choking up water, leaning up to your side to spit up water that lodged its way into your throat. Through the dry heaves and gagging— you could feel the faint coolness of a metal hand resting on your back.

“(Y/n), it’s okay— I’ve got you.” The male voice sounded from next to you.

You didn’t want to risk looking over yet, needing a second to gain control of yourself— your lungs.

You felt disoriented, the switch in environments— realities. It left you dizzy and clinging onto the males arm. Blinking away the blurriness, you finally risked a glance to the male.

Waves of comfort consumed your body, warming every numb limb caused from the anxiety of everything— at the sight of Bucky.

“Buck— I— you’re here I—” You stumbled over every word, the sight of him back in front of you overwhelming.

He shushed you, pulling you into his embrace. Caging you into his warm, protective hold— he felt your body shake. His arms only tightened at every whimper that escaped your lips. The way you were fisting the chest of his shirt like he was your lifeline.

“It’s okay, I’m here— I’m here doll. I’m never leaving you, okay?” He cooed petting down your hair before placing a kiss.

He gently lifted your face so he could see you completely, his thumbs rubbing the moisture away.

“Okay? I’ve got you now.” He kept repeating, peppering kisses on your hair and all over your face.

Your closed your eyes, the comforting feeling of his lips touching every inch of your face. Your skin sparked at each touch of his lips. Almost immediately, your mind was distracted— you felt at peace here with him.

“Okay, I…” You wanted to say it.

The fear of being taken back to The Lacuna was still buried deep in your veins. Here you are, memorizing every inch of his face in case you were to vanish again. Taken back to the void that was apparently your mind. You wanted to say it— and you were starting to feel like you had to, or else you’d never get the chance.

“Buck…” You started, grabbing his attention with the way you held onto his face so delicately.

Both of you treating each other like glass— so fragile.

“What’s wrong (Y/n)?” He whispered, leaning into your palms instinctively— your touch healing.

You swallowed through your tight throat, your eyes dancing all around his face. You couldn’t help yourself from smiling at every freckle— every line. He was beautiful.

“Bucky— I love you.” You rushed out, your chest sinking with the weight that no longer sat a top.

His face morphed into happiness, his eyes tearing up as his bottom lip quivered. It was almost uncontrollable with the way he pulled your face flush to his. His lips molding into yours, like puzzle pieces that were never meant to stray apart. He had known for awhile that he loved you. As painful as it was to wait, he could finally breathe now.

There was so many things that he still needed answers to, but for now he had finally found home.

Pulling back for air, the both of you were gasping— panting warm air into each others faces.

“I’ve loved you for awhile now— I love you so much. I’m so sorry you have to deal with all this— you don’t deserve any of it. I know I broke my promise before. Fuck— I’m sorry.” He cried, his voice cracking with emotion, “I won’t let anyone hurt you again, I won’t. I’ll die before anyone lays a hand on you.”

You were panting, feeling breathless as he spoke— he had loved you for awhile. The butterflies had bursted through your stomach, your body erupting in goosebumps. The warmth from his words running through your veins.

“I don’t even know if I’m still capable of love— if I’m not too broken to love. But I want to— I want to love you. I will do everything and anything to love you as you should be. I don’t wanna be without you, I can’t. I just— I—” He wheezed out, holding onto your face as if you were going to vanish. “I don’t know how I’ve managed to live without you— all this time. I need you.”

Your lips were numb, unmoving with shock. His confession was strong— burning furiously with passion that you were never aware of. It was foreign to have someone burn so powerfully for you— to want you. Maybe you had never known true love, never even thought that you’d be able to experience it. But Bucky had come into your life and showed you that love was real— that you could be loved.

You knew your face must’ve shown the shock you were feeling, when you saw the corners of his mouth curve up— his handsome smile beaming at me.

Things were far from over with, but you felt the worst had passed. You tried your hardest not to stare amongst the scattered corpses, the ones that had already started to smell. You weren’t sure what the cause was… if the other you had something to do with it.

“I didn’t know why for the longest time… and I’m still confused sometimes but— I’ve always needed you. Whether it was a reminder that it was all in my head or simply just being the company that I needed.” You whispered, rubbing a hand repeatedly over his cheek.

He took a deep breath in at your words. Your admissions only made his love run deeper for you. The way he was needed— wanted by someone. He couldn’t fathom the idea that someone would want someone as monstrous as him. But here you were, changing each and every negative thought he ever had about himself.

“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you… After all the damage I’ve caused… there’s no way I deserve you.” He admitted, and you kept smoothing his skin with your hand— to which to he leaned into your palm. “I guess I’m a little selfish… because no matter what my mind tries to convince me— I’m still gonna choose to be with you.”

“You deserve more than you think— I just wish you’d see it.” You told him, saddened that he thought of himself so poorly.

“I don’t think I’ll ever see it that way.” He breathed out, knowing he had too much blood in his hands. He didn’t deserve a chance to even clear his name.

You breathed out, cradling his face in both your hands now. He enjoyed the feeling of your touch of his skin, the way you almost held him protectively. He needed more of that in his life— and you were able to provide him with that.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, his earlier words ringing through your head.

“I think you’re capable of love.” You whispered, watching his eyes squint in slight confusion.

“What?”

“You said you didn’t know if you were capable of love. I think— no I know you’re capable.” You told him confidently, watching his eyes fill with tears. “I have never known what love felt like my whole life. I knew I was missing something, but I also just didn’t understand it… and I still don’t really understand. But you made me feel something… something other than the pain that I was used to.”

Your voice broke, your own eyes filling with tears— but you willed them to stay. You swallowed through your tight throat and wiped a gentle thumb under his eyes, smearing the tear that had escaped from him.

“You’re the reason I’m believing in love, and I wouldn’t be able to do that if you weren’t capable.” You finished, the tears running down your cheeks by now.

It was his turn to be speechless. You were truly an angel— one that had saved him from loneliness. The pain, the memories, the torture from HYDRA. It faded away when he was with you— some days he could forget almost completely about it all. You were the only thing he needed to survive. He’d live in a cardboard box and hide away from the entire world— as long as he had you by his side.

He leaned in without thought and stopped before his lips could touch yours.

“Can I… can I kiss you?” He whispered, his breath fanning your face.

You smooth your thumbs over his cheeks, smiling at him with joyful tears painting your skin.

“You don’t have to ask to do that.”

He gave a small smile before he pressed his lips to yours. You would never get over the feel of his mouth on you, the way his plump lips molded perfectly to yours. The way his teeth would gently graze your bottom lip, causing you to slightly open your mouth. The way he’d just barely trace your bottom lip with his tongue before he captured your lips again in a possessive kiss. It was all addictive, his touch an escape from the horrors of reality.

You broke apart from the kiss, needing to breathe— unfortunately. You both leaned foreheads against each other, relishing in each others hold.

There was a lot of explaining that needed to be done, and you wanted him to know as much as you did. About Donna, The Lacuna— about it all. You wanted him to know so you didn’t have to hold onto all the information heavily. You needed him to understand, for him to help you’d figure out what was happening.

To understand what you were.

Like always— there were too many questions without any answers.

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