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simmerandwrite · 6 months ago

Text

electric touch (part 1)

Pairing: Bucky x medical team! reader

Summary: Getting a spot on the field medical team was your dream. And your closest work friend Bucky Barnes finally asking you out? That was the cherry on top of your good news. Now all you had to do was pass your training week. Seems easy enough until you’re faced with someone who doesn’t want to see you win.

Warnings: abuse of power, verbal abuse, physical assault, some PTSD (but none of these are because of Bucky!!!!)

Wordcount: 7k

Part 2

Notes: hello! Are you hungry for a lil slice of ‘who did this to you’ pie with a big dollop of protective Bucky Barnes on top? Dig in!! I aim to be as nondescript as possible for the reader but I will note reader is shorter than Bucky and wears glasses. Thank you for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts! please consider reblogging, it helps my work reach more lovely people here on Tumblr. <3 merci!

---

Your regular lunch dates with Bucky started unintentionally. In fact, your friendship with Bucky had started that way – very unintentionally.

In retrospect, you couldn’t believe you had been late on your first day. You had intentionally set extra alarms to make sure you got to Stark Industries early.But you couldn’t control the inconsistencies of the New York subway system. When you skirted into the training room, only one seat was left – beside Bucky Barnes himself.

It was funny to think that the mandatory onboarding applied to new Avengers, too.

Of course, you knew who he was – the former Winter Soldier – but you didn’t realize he had to sit through the boring health and safety discussions and HR seminars like everyone else. When the first lunch break arrived, you turned to him and asked if he wanted to join you for lunch at the burger place down the street.

Initially, it looked like he was fighting off the urge to decline, but then he said: “Sure.”

Your conversations were very stilted in the beginning, which you didn’t mind. But as the week carried on, you felt the foundations of a friendship.

(He told you, later, that he appreciated your kindness that first day. That he had been really fucking scared to sit in that room with strangers judging him. He liked that you treated him like a normal person.)

It had grown organically since then – but you were simply just work friends. Your roles at Stark Industries slash The Avengers Initiative didn’t always overlap, but you did occasionally see him in the halls or if he happened to be by medical when you were working. Then, one day, you saw him eating alone in the cafeteria and you dropped down across from him to catch up.

Then lunch turned into a routine for you both. Typically on Wednesdays you’d sit together, if Bucky wasn’t on a mission or you weren’t on the night rotation. Sometimes Sam or Steve or some of the other nurses joined you, but secretly, you liked when it was just you and Bucky. Sometimes it felt like he preferred it that way too.

“So, guess what?” You sat down on the chair across from him, your tray knocking against his. He slowly moved his eyes from the pages of his book – he almost always had his nose in a book at lunch, regardless of the company – and matched your smile.

“I take it you got good news?”

You searched his face then frowned. “Wait, do you already know? That’s not fair.”

“Sam showed me the roster.”

A groan rumbled from your chest. “Boo.” You tipped your head to look at him as you paused. “Can you just pretend you’re about to hear this for the first time?”

Bucky smirked, putting down his book and politely stacking his hands to give you his full attention. “Sure. Start again?”

“Guess what?” You repeated, rolling your eyes.

“I’ve got no clue, doll. What?”

“You are looking at the newest member of the field medical team!” The chair legs squeaked as you danced in celebration.

“Congratulations,” Bucky replied, a wide smile crossing his face. He reached out and offered his fist, which you met with your own. You knocked your knuckles into his twice then wiggled your fingers at one another - a silly secret handshake you had invented together over a Taco Tuesday lunch one day, mostly out of annoyance to Sam.

You deflated afterwards, though, as reality set in. “Hopefully I can make it through training next week. It’s going to be hard but.. I can do hard things.”

Bucky reached over and grabbed your hand, holding it for a moment though he quickly pulled back. “You’re going to do great. You wouldn’t have been picked if you weren’t capable. You’re more than ready and, well, uh, I’m proud of you.”

You smiled, glancing down to where his hand had briefly made contact with yours. It felt.. hot, for some reason. You resisted touching the skin there. This had been happening more than you wanted to admit recently – a new spark when you saw him, when you touched. You thought you had easily avoided the possibilities of a developing crush on Bucky but.. something had been brewing for you. And maybe the same was happening with him, too - when you thought about how he looked at you, how considerate he was…

You wouldn’t know with any certainty unless you asked and you were way, way too scared to ask. Ruining your friendship may not be worth it. Especially if you were joining the medical team that would accompany the Avengers on some of their missions. What if you made it weird? What if you went on one date and it was terrible and your friendship never recovered? What if you asked Bucky out and then he laughed in your face and –

“We should go out and celebrate,” he cut you off.

Wait. Was his voice shaking?

You met his eyes. Was he nervous? “I still.. I have to pass the training.”

“I know,” he nodded. “And tomorrow I leave for.. an undisclosed location for the week. So. When I get back and you’ve crushed the training and have the new job title, let’s go out.”

“Just you and me?” You asked, swallowing hard.

Bucky took a deep breath. “Yeah. If you..”

“Like a date?”

He closed his eyes, face scrunched up. It was cute. “Yeah, like a date, sweetheart. Just you and me.”

Okay, well, okay. Yes. Okay, that answered your question. You supposed the risk was being taken either way. There. He did the thing before you could even talk yourself out of it.

You smiled, nervously adjusting your glasses. Oh my god. You hadn’t even answered. With eyes wide, you reached for him. “Yes, that sounds.. that sounds wonderful. I’d love that.”

He grinned, squeezing your hand. “For a second there, I really thought I screwed all this up.”

---

Bucky couldn’t believe it had taken him this long to finally just do it. Asking you out had been at the top of his list for a long time and although it scared the shit out of him, this follow-up feeling of anticipation had been totally worth it. Now he just needed to get through a grueling mission with a sweet reward at the end – a date with you.

You- the first stranger who treated him like a regular person. You - who cared so deeply about your job. You - who seemed to always hear his snarky comments and always laughed, giggled, snorted, at them. With a smile that could make his entire body warm up.

You. He couldn’t wait for that damn date.

A date was the scary next step. But he was tired of waiting and tired of denying his feelings. And thank god you had reacted just as positively. The foundation of your friendship was so important to him but he had a feeling things could be even better. He prayed he wouldn’t fuck it all up.

When he showed up at the compound early in the morning to get on the jet, Bucky was surprised to see Sam prepping in the pilot’s seat.

Sam jumped in with an answer before the question even left Bucky’s lips. “Natasha had to join Clint on the Belize mission, last minute. So it’s you and me, pal.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. Though he wasn’t mentally prepared for a week with Sam, he could handle it. Bucky was certain he could handle anything that he faced this week, knowing it was your face on his mind keeping him going.

As you crossed his mind again, another thought surfaced.

“If you’re here, who’s taking over the training for the med field team?” Bucky reached for his phone then cursed. They were going dark for this mission so he’d left his phone in his locker. Although he had sent you a message after he got up that morning, he wanted to reach out one last time and send some extra reassurance your way.

“Don’t worry,” Sam knocked his shoulder, standing up to do a final check of the gear. “Your girl is in good hands.” Sam added in a wiggle of his fingers in Bucky's direction.

You weren’t Bucky’s girl.. yet. He didn’t feel bothered by the term. In fact, he loved it and so badly wanted you to be okay with him saying it some day too. Though it was still worth correcting Sam. It didn’t seem fair to put a label on something without consulting you first. Not to mention Sam’s teasing about you and Bucky had been going on for months and Bucky did not want to indulge him.

“She’s not mine,” Bucky replied, scrubbing a hand down his jaw.

Sam carried on. “Boone is doing the training protocol instead, but I’ll manage the final evaluations next week.”

A quiet groan escaped Bucky’s lips. “Boone is a jackass.”

“I don’t disagree that he can be a bit too self assured - but he has proved himself in the field and will be a great mentor to this cohort.”

“Wasn’t he one of the agents Steve benched a few months ago - after his annual physical? What’s the term they used - he was doping?”

Sam sighed. “He was clean but a couple of his buddies were thrown out. But Boone is good, Buck. She’s gonna be fine.” With a final glance at the screen between them, Sam clapped his hands. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

---

When you applied for the job at Stark Industries for their medical team, you weren’t entirely sure what the role was going to entail. Your years of working as a nurse at the busiest emergency room in Chicago had given you plenty of experience with, well, everything and anything imaginable. You were always prepared for the unexpected.

What you hadn’t expected though was the pace - it was significantly slower than you imagined. Most of your days revolved around small visits from agents for anything from minor injuries and lacerations to annual physicals. On occasion you’d support when the Avengers came in, but usually they worked directly with Dr. Cho or the other on site doctors.

You figured the cure for your unrelenting desire for more was to get on the field medical team - a group of agents and trained nurses who accompanied the Avengers or other strike teams on missions, acting as a resource for any injuries to civilians and team members alike. Not every mission needed a team and sometimes it would involve last minute travel, but you didn’t mind.

When your application for transfer was finally accepted, you couldn’t get over how excited you were. You had been working hard for months getting into better shape, especially your stamina. Sure, maybe you could do a bit more when it came to targeted strength training but you had qualified on the initial testing to even get into the training level, so you’d be fine.

You could do this.

Truthfully, you were really excited about it. And Bucky had sent you the most encouraging message before he left that morning and you just.. You knew you could do this.

Bucky's words echoed: “...you wouldn’t have been picked if you weren’t capable. You’re more than ready and, well, uh, I’m proud of you.”

You were going to do this well and you were going to make yourself proud, too.

Most of your excitement depleted when you walked into the gym though. You joined the rest of the agents in the training group and braced yourself when you saw Agent Nathan Boone standing with his tablet, calling out names for attendance.

“Wilson had to suit up as Falcon and jump on a critical mission this morning so I’ll be running the training program this week,” he explained as he sized up his group, which included you plus another half a dozen training agents.

Without a doubt, Boone was the worst replacement for Sam you could think of. Boone exuded a confidence you couldn’t quite wrap your mind around, given his frat guy personality. Hiding behind his smarmy grin, linebacker build and perfectly coiffed hair - he was a real jackass.

You tried not to let your mind race as Boone walked you all through the upcoming week of training. You’d be going over everything from basic self defense skills to hand to hand combat strategies to overall endurance drills. Then he explained that next week it was Sam Wilson who’d be doing the final evaluations.

“So let’s prove to him you’re all a good batch, okay?” Boone’s demeanor shifted as he got into his coaching mode. “Let’s start with a warm up run. Onto the treadmills.”

This wasn’t your first interaction with Boone, though you weren’t sure he would remember you.

During your first few weeks you’d been responsible for doing the annual physicals for most of the agents. It had been a very repetitive (and boring) assignment, until some anomalies came up in the test results. A few agents, including Boone, had weird things flagged on their blood and urine tests - mostly markers that indicated steroid use. Which was completely against standards for agents and employees at Stark Industries.

One of them, some bulky aggressive asshole, tried to convince you to look the other way but you had ultimately reported it. The fallout caused a huge uproar between the medical team and the agents, with the consequence coming down on a handful of agents who were fired due to drug use. Boone had escaped that fate somehow, passing his re-test with perfect results. And even though HR promised you it was a sealed case, you were always worried it had left a bit of a target on your back.

Nothing had come from it. The next round of physicals you assisted with didn’t involve any of those field agents and no other concerns had been flagged. Everything seemed back to normal.

In fact, you had seen Boone once since that whole controversy. A few months ago you passed him flirting with one of the admins in your department but you kept your head down and ignored him. That was it.

Hopefully the week of training wouldn’t be soured by your history with him but you figured it was safest to go in with an open mind.

Thankfully, by the end of your run, as you were moving onto some basic tactical drills, he continued treating you just like everyone else. Generally firm and distant overall, but nothing strangely out of the ordinary. His barked orders were delivered to everyone evenly. If he had any recollection of your connected history, he didn’t bring it up.

The first day of training had been tough, especially since you still had a few extra hours of work to log afterwards. When you returned to your reporting station in the medical wing, you had to really settle your mind down and talk your way through the unkind thoughts racing around your brain.

You could do this.

The second day focused exclusively on muscular endurance, which wasn’t really your strong suit but you managed to keep up with the group all the same.

Boone had the entire cohort going hard - with a lot of tough but constructive encouragement coming from him along the way. When one of the other trainees dropped their barbells, it seemed to irritate Boone immensely too. He let out a few curses as he helped them pick the weights back up then apologized for his reaction but the flare of anger was evident.

When you were all heading back to the locker rooms, it was one of the other agents muttering about ‘roid rage’ that raised a red flag for you.

It was during the third day of training that you felt the first tug of resistance with Boone. It was small things that you couldn’t help but file away. The way he delivered supportive commentary to everyone else in the group but only gave you critical feedback. During one of the practical scenarios, he undermined all your answers.

“I see why you’d think that way if you’ve never done this before but I can tell you by experience, it wouldn’t work. Bit of an amateur way of looking at things, actually. You need to do better if you’re going to be in the field with experts. Are you sure you passed the interview for this role?”

He said things in a way that didn’t always seem personal to you, but he certainly delivered them in a condescending tone.

But, maybe, well, maybe you were just reading into things. You were feeling tired already and not really sleeping, so your focus was a bit off.

Yeah, you could do better, strategize better, think things through in a better way.

On the fourth day, after a morning of weapons training and spending time at the range, the session moved onto sparring drills. It was quite basic - Boone walked the group through easy to follow hand to hand techniques, spending time here and there with each person to adjust their form.

Everyone who qualified for the med team had to pass certain physical testing standards already. You had been working hard in the gym for months to get your mind ready, though you knew you weren’t very experienced in anything related to defensive techniques.

When he got to you following one of the scenarios, there was a firm frown on his face. “You need to be less in your head.”

You nodded, flexing and stretching your hands out. “Okay. Uhm okay, well, do you have any tips on how to–”

He was quick to cut you off. “Figure it out. I don’t have time to teach you critical thinking skills.” Following a sharp finger snap, he pointed directly at you. “And what’s with the glasses?”

“Ran out of contacts this morning, but I can do without them if I need to. Its–”

“They’re a safety risk.”

He didn’t care for your explanation or offer you any other advice, instead just muttering something as he moved on and tapping something into the tablet. None of his feedback had been helpful. Christ, you figured maybe it was worth starting a list to consult with Sam about following your evaluation instead.

You just had to get through one more day with Boone. You were tired - down to your bones, from the physical and mental work during this week.

But it was nearly the weekend and that meant next week was approaching. Most importantly, the training would be done and you would have a real date with Bucky on the books, too. You couldn’t wait.

---

The last training day was mostly a culmination of everything you had gone over from the week. There was more endurance testing, some strength and performance work and the day ended with more sparring and situationals.

You knew this was the light at the end of the tunnel. And when everything was wrapping up, you were relieved to finally be done with taking instructions from Boone, too.

Until his final speech. “You’ve been a great group and I would say most of you are ready for next week. Wilson will be impressed.” After a few more notes and instructions for the following week, he dismissed everyone. As you headed back towards the locker room, he called your name.

That made your stomach drop. He waved you back over towards the mats.

“I just wanted to give you a heads up,” Boone started slowly, eyes glancing around the empty room before he looked down at his tablet screen. “Here is the report on your training this week.” He turned the device so you could read over it.

After the first line, you took it from his hands. “Wait - what?”

“I just don’t think you’re ready.” Boone crossed his arms. “You’ve got the medical knowledge, sure. But the rest of it, even if you had another two months to train, I’m doubtful.” He took the tablet back and continued scrolling, as if he hadn’t just delivered such a disappointing blow to you. “It’s up to you whether you still want to do your test with Sam next week, but if I was in your shoes, I’d tap out.”

You swallowed hard, head tipped slightly to the side as you took in what he was saying. “That doesn’t make any sense. I kept up with everyone here this week.”

“This is a controlled environment; I don’t think you can hack it in the field.” Boone shrugged. “Like I said, you’re more than welcome to do your evaluation but I don’t think this will impress The Falcon enough to solidify your spot on the field team.”

“Good thing you’re not in charge of this decision then,” you bit in return, taking a step back. It felt like he was egging you on and you didn’t like it. Even worse that you were alone with him in the gym. “I don’t have to prove shit to you.”

“You don’t have to, or you simply can’t?” He countered, tossing the tablet to the side as he crossed his arms. He sized you up, eyes drawing up the shape of your body. “Let’s try something.” He motioned to the mats. “I’ll give you another chance to change my mind about that report. Maybe I misread your abilities and intentions.”

You knew the right thing to do would be to walk away and ignore how he was antagonizing you. But a tiny voice in the back of your head kept reminding you that you were good, that you had earned your place here. That you needed to show him that.

No, you didn’t.

Yes, you did.

You took a deep breath and stepped forward, placing yourself in the middle of the mat. “Fine. Let’s do it.”

Boone laughed, standing in front of you. He scanned you over again. “Scenario. You’re in the field, there’s a civilian who needs medical attention. You’re alone with them as everyone else explores the area for threats. But, it's night time, it was a busy bit of action and –” Boone reached over and pulled your glasses off. “And you lost your glasses in the chaos.”

Before you could protest about the logistics of this stupid scenario, he threw them to the side.

You shook your head and immediately stepped back. “What the fuck?”

“Maybe you should have worn your contacts today.” He replied and this time, there was something more at the edge of his words. Something unsettling.

This was a bad idea. But he was waiting for you to reply, to call his bluff and tap out. You growled to yourself and stayed.

“The civilian has a broken limb so you’re on the ground beside them.” Without even hesitating he placed both his hands on your shoulders and shoved you down to your knees.

None of this made any lick of sense. This wasn’t a scenario you’d end up in. You wouldn’t be alone or you’d call for backup.

He continued without a second thought, moving to stand behind you, placing his hand on the crown of your head. “And someone comes at you from behind – now you’re compromised and so is your civilian.”

You sat there on your knees, chock still. A red flashing light was going off in your mind but for some reason, you stayed.

A low, grumbly laugh escaped him. “See? Not only are you a terrible nurse but you have no fucking instinct—”

You immediately swung your leg up to hook behind him, not sending him down to the ground but gaining enough of your own momentum to plot out your next move. Planting a foot, you lunged forward and grabbed his waist, pulling him towards the mat.

That really set off whatever anger had been simmering in him. The next thing you saw was the training mat as your face and torso were being shoved against it.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Your shouting felt useless as your body writhed under his weight. Your cheek dragged across the plastic mat as you moved, burning against your skin. “Get off of me, you—”

“Defend. Yourself.” Boone barked back, adjusting to grab your arm. He gripped your elbow, then twisted your wrist behind your back. A jolt of pain rushed down your shoulder. “Took me a few days but then I remembered your face.”

You cried out, squeezing your eyes shut. “Please just stop. What is—why are you—”

“Three of my friends, my brothers – you ruined their lives, you know that? They lost all their job prospects, they have fuck all left because of what you did. You know, we need that stuff - to keep up with supersoldiers. There is nothing fucking wrong with some pharmaceutical help. If I’m backing up Captain America, I deserve the boost.” With his knee pressing against your back, he leveraged himself to sit up a bit straighter. But his grip on your wrist remained, growing tighter and tighter. “If you had just turned the other way and ignored those tests—”

“I was doing my job,” you mumbled back at him. “They were the ones who broke the rules and—”

His voice hadn’t quite grown to shouting but the intensity grew. “And you are the one who suffers now, alright? And you sure as hell aren’t joining the field team. I’m going to make sure of it.”

---

All Bucky wanted to do when they got back to the compound was text you. It was late Sunday night but he didn’t care.

After the grueling week he and Sam had, Bucky took comfort in knowing soon enough he’d get to see you. He wanted to know about everything from last week - from training to everyday life, he just wanted to talk to you. Crossing the threshold from friends to something more was scary but during his long, sleepless nights, you provided a strange sense of comfort to him.

Without doing a dang thing. Just knowing you made him better, inspired him to be better and to be present.

“Hey,” Sam tugged on Bucky’s arm before he headed to the locker room. “Medical check first. Then you’re free to send your little smiley face emojis to her.”

Bucky grumbled but didn’t have the energy to argue with Sam. The mission had gone well but hadn’t been the smoothest for either of them. While they both returned unharmed, Bucky knew coming down from these sorts of weeks properly was important.

Finally, after a clearance from the nurse and a quick shower - Bucky was turning his phone back on.

He dismissed all the messages from Steve and an Avengers group chat he liked to ignore then finally found his way to his conversation with you. Seeing a slew of your thoughts over the course of the week made him smile.

You: good luck this week - come back in one piece, please <3

You: made it through day one and two, turns out my five-story walkup apartment is good for my cardio skills after all lol You: remind me of that next time I complain about the stairs

You: day three has proved that I do need to work on my upper body strength You: wanna be my personal trainer? ;)

You: miss you, hope everything is going safely You: this week has really kicked my ass

Your messages did peter off by Friday and although Bucky longed for more, he assumed you were probably just tired after the long week. Plus, the training wasn’t for the light of heart. Sam had shown him the schedule and although it was standard, its intensity was intentional. Not that Bucky doubted you - he knew you’d been preparing as best as you could since you had shown an interest in joining the field team months ago. But that could really exhaust someone by the end of it.

And tomorrow you had to power through a final evaluation with Sam too, so Bucky hoped you got to spend the rest of the weekend resting.

He dropped down onto one of the benches and planned his response.

Bucky: hey doll, made it back safe and sound Bucky: in one piece, I promise :) Bucky: can’t wait to hear about last week, I’m sure you did great Bucky: good luck tomorrow, I’ll come find you after the eval Bucky: sweet dreams

---

Bucky felt a little bit silly, lingering outside the training gym. At least he wasn’t pacing, that would have been an even worse look. He leaned against the opposite wall to the doors, arms crossed.

Something just felt a bit off for him and, well, finally seeing you would help ease his mind. It was just strange – the lack of communication. Sure, he had sent his message quite late the night before but he assumed he might hear something back from you during the day.

But no, it had been radio silence. He could attribute it to your needing to prepare for your evaluation but that didn’t seem like enough of a justification. In all the times you and he had been friends, you always managed to send a reply.

He would just have to settle for an in person update, following your testing with Sam. Five other agents exited the gym by mid afternoon, but you never showed up at the door.

Sam did eventually emerge, tapping quickly against his tablet. He came to a halt when he spotted Bucky waiting, arms now tightly locked behind his back.

Bucky looked over Sam’s shoulder, trying to glimpse into the gym before he met his eyes. “How’d she do?”

Sam let out an awkward laugh. “Well, she didn’t show. She sent me an email earlier saying that she was sick.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed slightly. “Oh.”

“I know, weird. What’s even more weird though is that when I said we could reschedule her for another date, she tapped out.” Sam raised his shoulder to shrug then showed Bucky the screen.

Bucky scanned over the message and frowned. It was true. Your reply to Sam was short, explaining you didn’t want to reschedule and declined any further interest in the field team. That was it. You were out.

“Given how she sent me a five-paragraph essay explaining how excited she was to join the team, this seems out of character.” Sam tucked the screen under his arm and patted Bucky on the shoulder. “Give me an update after you talk to her.”

“What makes you think—”

“Oh, I already see your wheels turning. You’re doing the math on how quickly you can get to her place.” Sam called after him as Bucky turned to leave. “Let her know I can reschedule her anytime!”

---

You knew you couldn’t ignore Bucky forever. It was just.. it felt like too much, thinking of a way to reply. After what happened with Boone on Friday, every single thing in your life felt like climbing the steepest mountain.

It was absurd how quickly things had escalated. You should have just walked away the instant Boone brought up your evaluation. Getting on that mat with him was really fucking stupid and.. here you were.

You could barely remember how you got home Friday – dazed and confused and numb. After Boone finished screaming and you had stopped trying to fight back, you curled up on yourself. You fought back tears over the humiliation and pain, hands shaking as you grabbed your things from the locker room. One ridiculously overpriced cab ride later and you made it home to your studio in Astoria.

Then you cried in the shower and all the way to your bed - where you stayed as long as you possibly could on Saturday, dousing yourself in painkillers just to try and stay asleep.

You knew you needed to go to urgent care, or even just an emergency room - somewhere you could afford the x-ray. You had never broken a bone before but you had seen plenty of hand fractures during your time working in triage. You couldn’t make a fist, your hand was bruising up towards your wrist and the pain was excruciating. The image of Boone stomping on your hand and wrist as you tried to crawl away was imprinted in your mind…

You were stuck on the climb though. The mental battle of trying to figure out the best lie to tell the admitting nurses anywhere was daunting. Christ, how would you explain this?

You had to - you had to tell someone. The way Boone had flown off the handle, how he attacked you verbally and physically, he couldn’t get away with it. You knew the right thing to do but… fuck if you weren’t scared. He had made it pretty clear he’d be keeping an eye on you. And there was no way you’d be able to do your test with Sam now.

If you reported him, you’d probably have to get HR and the police involved and what if he denied everything and—

You ended up in a helpless loop every single time.

Saturday came and went. You only left your apartment to visit the nearest drugstore for a new compression bandage and more pain medication. Sunday passed by just the same. You skipped your normal spin class and barely spent time outside of your bed.

The pain in your hand was growing worse and worse. You had to use your left hand to send Sam and your manager messages - because even just moving your right hand made your stomach swirl. And the guilt about not responding to Bucky was growing bigger and bigger too.

How could you explain it? Boone had pressed your buttons and you pushed back and look what happened. How could Bucky be proud of you now?

Your phone had buzzed mid afternoon, just after you were supposed to be doing your session with Sam.

It was Bucky - worried and asking if you needed anything for whatever illness was plaguing you.

You ignored it.

When he called, you ignored that too.

You were balled up on the end of your couch, eyes glazed over as another episode of your favourite show loaded up on Netflix. You knew you needed to eat something, that the pain medication on an empty stomach was a recipe for disaster. But… you couldn’t get up. Laying perfectly still with a bag of frozen vegetables on your hand was the closest thing to relief you had.

Then, someone was knocking at your door. The noise made you gasp, though you couldn’t move. You could ignore the noise along with everything else. It was probably just your downstairs neighbour back to complain about your TV again and –

Whoever was at the door knocked again, this time calling out your name.

You recognized the voice.

Bucky.

He called your name out again. “Listen, I don’t care if you’re sick. I just want to make sure you’re alright. I grabbed some soup from that place I was telling you about.”

You sucked in a deep breath and pulled yourself up off the couch. You really, really wanted to see him - just the idea of his smile made everything feel a bit better. But then you couldn’t hide anymore and… hiding felt safe.

“I’m okay,” you finally replied as you got approached. “Feeling better but I might be contagious, Buck.”

You sensed some relief from him as his feet shuffled on the other side of the door. “Sweetheart, I.. I can’t even get sick, okay? I just need to see you.”

“My apartment is a mess.”

“I don’t care.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Bucky, I’m.. I’m not at my best right now.”

“I don’t care.” He said your name once more. “Please.”

You pulled up the hood of your sweatshirt then reluctantly reached for the door knob.

---

When you finally opened the door, Bucky was relieved. But when you immediately turned away to return to your couch without a word, his relief felt misplaced. Something was wrong. Your sudden weekend illness and dropping out of the new job training weren’t adding up to anything that felt good.

He was worried.

Bucky had never been inside your apartment before. There were a handful of occasions after work or some happy hour thing when he dropped you off but this was new. He liked the idea of seeing your home but he wished it had been different circumstances.

Home was a little studio, with a compact kitchen ahead of him across from the door. Beside it was a cozy living room area separated from the bed and windows, divided by a short bookcase. It was so very you and Bucky wanted nothing more than to just be there with you, scan over the books you like and curl up together on the couch.

But it wasn’t the time to daydream. Instead, he stepped into the kitchen to deposit the takeout bag, retrieving the soup before moving to where you were curling back up in your blankets.

“How are you feeling?” He took another step closer but stopped when you leaned away from his approach. He took a seat opposite you and extended the container in your direction.

“Yeah, I’m.. okay,” you replied with a shrug. “Thanks for the soup.” You took it from him, reaching across yourself awkwardly with a shaking hand, and rested it on your lap.

He took the moment of silence to get a better look at you. Behind your glasses, your eyes were swollen, as if you had been crying. Bucky watched you carefully maneuver the spoon and it wasn’t lost on him you were favouring your left hand. In fact, your right arm was barely moving.

“Do you need anything else? I could run to the pharmacy..” He trailed off as his eyes shifted to your coffee table, which was littered with an array of pill bottles. Mostly painkillers and what looked like a melting bag of frozen peas. And tucked under the table was… a half empty bottle of wine. Not exactly the type of self medication for a stomach bug or the common cold.

You closed your eyes, taking another taste of the soup before gently moving it to the table. “I think the worst of it has passed. Just.. tired now, I guess. I’ll be back at work tomorrow.” You smiled, just barely, then it disappeared as your eyes shut.

Bucky considered that the perfect opportunity to change the subject. Your name left his lips. It was quiet. You peaked one eye open to look at him.

“What happened last week?” he asked.

You laughed, though it came out quite empty. “Just five very intense, rigorous training days. I wasn’t great but.. I managed, I guess.”

Bucky cut to the chase, though he couldn’t predict your reaction. “So how come you’re not doing the final evaluation?”

A long sigh escaped you, rolling your eyes before leaning back again. You stared at the ceiling. “Should I just start adding you to all my correspondence with Sam?”

“Don’t be mad at Sam,” Bucky replied. “I asked him and he only told me because he was worried.”

You laughed again, with more of your body. The same emptiness remained and this time it seemed to cause you pain. You winced, swallowing an uncomfortable look on your face as you turned to peer at him. “I’m not mad at Sam. I’m mad at..” You shook your head. “At myself, I guess.”

“Why?”

“It doesn’t matter, alright? It’s over and I missed today and–”

“Sam offered to resch–”

“Bucky, it doesn’t matter!” You snapped this time, cutting him off.

Bucky shook his head. Something else was going on. He had never seen you like this before - despondent and… broken. Sure, your friendship had rarely escaped the walls of work but the foundation between you both was solid. He had seen your ups and downs, and you had seen his too - recalling bad dates and ranting about missions and laughing over lunch and all of it.

He knew you. The person sitting across from him, it wasn’t you.

“Sweetheart, please tell me what’s going on.”

Your eyes were closed again, head shaking. “Nothing is..” Your lip trembled. “Maybe you should just go..”

Bucky stood from the couch, but he didn’t move to the door. Instead, he crouched right in front of you. “If that’s what you really want, I’ll go, okay? I’d never stay if you didn’t want me here. But you opened that door for me. You could have already sent me away, soup in hand. I’m here right now because I care about you.” He said your name again, like a plea for you to look at him. “I can help, okay? Whatever is going on, I can help. Let me help, please.”

Your breath picked up, intertwined with winces of pain as you adjusted on the couch. You crossed your legs then moved your arms carefully, using your left hand to tear away your sweatshirt. Finally, you opened your eyes and extended your right arm to Bucky.

Despite being wrapped in a compression bandage, the swelling was evident on your fingers. Bruises littered your hand too and continued upwards to your t-shirt line.

Bucky dropped to his knees, looking from your face down towards your arm. He whispered out your name, desperately trying not to fill in the blanks without getting more information from you. “What happened?”

You simply shook your head, swallowing whatever response was trying to escape.

“Can I–” He motioned to your hand, cautiously reaching for it. You didn’t move, allowing him to unwrap the bandaging. You winced at the touch and change in pressure, eyes clamping shut again as you breathed deeply.

Bucky skated his fingers along the side of your forearm, down towards your wrist and hand. Light shades of purple and blue decorated your skin but the swelling was what concerned Bucky the most.

“I’m worried something is broken.” You finally said quietly, letting out another groan of pain as Bucky flipped your hand over to assess the underside.

He wanted to reply with ‘yeah, no shit’ but figured that wouldn’t be helpful. If you hadn’t sought out medical attention by now, there was probably a good reason. You were smart, a nurse who could easily figure out her own symptoms. But something was stopping you. Embarrassment, guilt.. Maybe fear?

Bucky was gentle as he held your hand. Christ, his mind was racing. “What happened? Did you fall? Did something go wrong last week?”

You shook your head.

Although there was one giant fucking obvious glaring answer to his next question, Bucky wanted to hear your response. Maybe you had fallen or dropped something on it this weekend. Maybe you had crushed it between a door or something, anything else than someone hurting you. Because the thought of anyone doing that, inflicting any intentional harm –

Bucky sucked in a breath and looked back at you. Your lower lip was already trembling again. He had to ask. He didn’t want to, but he fucking had to.

“Sweetheart, who did this to you?”

“I should have walked away, Bucky. I..” You immediately trailed off, head shaking again as you tried to collect yourself.

With you, Bucky would be patient. He would always be patient. A few moments ticked by as he waited, still holding your injured hand in his.

“It was supposed to just be a routine scenario, a test sort of thing I guess. But he was… he was volcanic. The anger erupted and he - he.. Bucky, I was just doing my job, it’s not my fault his friends lost theirs an-and he got so mad. I tried to get away but he just kept going.”

He said your name quietly. “Take a deep breath for me, okay?” You did, breathing in tandem with him a few times as you steadied yourself. “You’ve gotta tell me a name, please.”

After another deep breath, you nodded. “It was Boone.” You closed your eyes. “I think he’s taking drugs, steroids–again and he just.. I shouldn’t have engaged him at all. And I tried to get away once I realized he was freaking out..”

Bucky stilled, lips pulled into a straight line. “Hey, look at me.” He waited for you to meet his gaze. “This isn’t your fault.” God, he wanted to say so much more but the simmering anger below the surface was bubbling up. And that wasn’t important. You needed an x-ray and real medical attention. Then, maybe he could face the rage coursing through his bones. “Sweetheart, we’ve gotta get this looked at, okay?”

Reluctantly, your head shook. “I know. I just.. I don’t want to have to go to urgent care and explain what happened. I should have already gone and I feel so stupid about the whole thing and-and–”

He placed his free hand on your knee to stop you. “Okay. It's okay. I think I know where we can go. Let me make a few phone calls.”

---

PART 2

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #protective bucky barnes #story: electric touch

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sam24 · 1 year ago

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Man on a Mission

Summary: Apparently, someone called Bucky's girl a whore. He has now made it his life's mission to find out who.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

*****

Bucky sat at the kitchen island, eyes narrowed, leg bouncing, and the same scene from last night replaying in his head.

Bucky drew random patterns on your bare shoulder, his nose buried into your hair. You were being quieter than usual, but he knew you were awake as he could feel your hands fidgeting.

He didn’t want to press you to tell him about it, so he settled on making you feel as loved as possible, pressing kisses into your hair.

Suddenly, you broke the silence, taking Bucky by surprise.

“Buck . . . do you think I’m a whore?”

“Wha-” Bucky lifted his head immediately, trying to look at you. But you hid your face in your hands, turning away from him.

“God don’t look at me. Fuck, this is so embarrassing,” You groaned into your hands. “Forget I said that.”

“No, honey, look at me please,” Bucky gently pulled your hands down, cradling your face. “Who called you that?”

“No, no, no one,” You shook your head frantically. “I’m sorry, just forget I said anything. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“No, sweetheart, who- okay we’ll get back to that later. But you are not a whore, okay? No woman deserves to be called that in the first place. Who-”

“No, no one. I was just . . . I just randomly thought of it.”

Bucky wasn’t convinced, but he let it slide.

For now.

“Well, I don’t want you thinking these things about yourself.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Okay?”

You nodded, seeming relieved and a little surprised that he dropped it that easily.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

It was now the next morning, and you were at the gym with Natasha, which gave Bucky the perfect opportunity to figure out who to murder.

Steve walked into the kitchen with Sam trailing behind.

“Morning Buck.” Steve greeted. His head stuck into the fridge, trying to look past the shit ton amount of edible cookie dough you had made a couple days earlier.

“How come you didn’t come run with us, you lazy fat ass.” Sam teased, leaning on the island.

“Didn’t feel like it.” Bucky narrowed his eyes.

Suspect 1: Sam Wilson, The Most Annoying Bird Alive

Sam had a tendency to poke fun at people, but some might not take it as well as others. For example, when a barista burst out in tears last week when Sam joked about her being “all over the place” with all the orders coming in. (He came in with flowers the next day)

Bucky wondered if Sam had said something that was supposed to be funny, but you didn’t think it was and got upset.

A part of Bucky wanted to settle on Sam so he had an excuse to beat him up, but the more rational side of him realized that you had gone on one too many missions with him to think he was being serious about anything he said.

Tony then came in, holding a bunch of empty coffee mugs in his hand, practically throwing them into the sink.

“Bruce said my mugs were ‘taking up too much room’ in the lab,” Tony rolled his eyes. “Well why doesn’t he try being the goddamn genius backbone of this team.”

Bucky stared at him intently.

Suspect 2: Tony Stark, The Dick Who Can’t Set His Metal Rock Music Lower Than 98

Tony had a tendency to snap easily, especially when he was low on sleep (which was basically all the time). Everyone usually steered clear of Tony when he was moody, because he would most definitely say the meanest things, but not really mean any of it.

Bucky tried to think if it was logical that Tony would snap at you and say something. However, he came to the conclusion that even if Tony had said something, you had known him for too long to take his sleep-deprived words to heart.

“What are you looking at, Winter Schnitzel?” Tony challenged, noticing Bucky staring at him.

“Nothing.” Bucky replied, his stare shifting over to his best friend, who was grinning in amusement, but still trying to find something to eat that wouldn’t give him diabetes.

Suspect 3: Steve Rog-

Bucky stopped himself, almost laughing at himself for thinking Steve would ever call a woman a whore.

Even though you always kept the fridge full of random items you would make, Steve would never say a single bad thing about you.

For now, Bucky was stuck.

⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃

6 hours later, and Bucky was still stuck.

You and Peter were out (God knows where), which was another perfect chance for Bucky to think.

But the problem was he couldn’t think of anyone.

Everyone in the compound adored you, so Bucky couldn’t figure out who the hell would deliberately say something to make you upset.

He dragged his shoes across the floor, cursing Steve in his head for making him go on a “stroll” because he apparently looked “pent-up”.

There was no way in hell Bucky would walk around outside, so he opted to take a walk inside, using Mother Steve’s demand to his advantage to scout out potential targets.

He halfheartedly glanced around the floor, stopping when his gaze landed on you.

He immediately grinned, not caring about the fact he probably looked crazy, and started his way over to where you were.

You were talking to someone with a bag in your hand. Bucky remembered you saying something about picking up a dress from the store for your friend. Peter was next to you, and for some reason, puffing his chest out?

But, as Bucky got closer, he realized you were talking to Jacob, the little dickwad who couldn’t take no for an answer,

“How many times do I have to tell you? Get out of my way. I’m trying to get this to someone.” Bucky heard you snap, tuning in with his enhanced hearing.

Bucky stopped, trying to assess the situation and figure out if you would appreciate him stepping in or not.

He knew you didn’t need anyone to stand up for you, but his overprotective side rippled through his body, his jaw clenching and fists balling.

“Baby, stop acting- “Jacob was cut off with a sharp slap.

The little bastard was taken by complete shock.

Meanwhile, Peter was still trying to look as intimidating as possible.

“Jacob, what the hell is your problem? I’ve told you to leave me alone more times than I can count. How fucking thick is your skull?”

Jacob was about to reply, with probably something bitchy, but he caught sight of Bucky in the corner with the most murderous glare and stopped himself.

He instead looked down and stepped to the side, giving you and Peter room to go.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Beat it.” Peter growled in the most non-threatening way possible as you two left, giving Bucky the perfect chance to slide in before Jacob could hightail out of there.

“Barnes.” Jacob greeted, clearing his throat.

“Callaway.” Bucky’s blood boiled at how differently he treated other men than how he treated women. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you to respect a lady?”

Before Jacob could reply, his equally dumb friend, Brody, walked past the two men.

“Damn, Jake. Barnes finally here to beat you up for calling his girl a whore?”

Bucky and Jacob both stared at Brody.

Jacob looked sickly pale, and Bucky looked calmly terrifying. Clear sign he was fucking enraged.

“Oh shit-” Brody finally put the pieces together, practically sprinting away.

Bucky turned back to face a petrified looking Jacob.

“So,” Bucky reached out, fixing Jacob’s tie and smoothing down his collar. “It was you, huh?”

Jacob tensed under Bucky’s touch.

“Chill pal, I just wanna talk.”

⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃

A bruised cheek, wet underwear, and hurt ego later, Jacob’s talk with Bucky was over.

Bucky threw his feet up on the ottoman, but not before telling Friday to make sure Jacob was apologizing to you, as instructed by Bucky himself.

He patiently waited for you on the couch, a wide grin appearing on his face as you walked in and cuddled up next to Bucky, but not without pressing a kiss to his lips first.

Halfway through the movie, you turned to look at Bucky.

“Thank you,” You smiled.

“For what, doll?”

You turned back to face the movie, a smile playing at your lips. “C’mon. I know that was you. He would never apologize on his own will.”

Bucky laughed, turning you around once again to pepper kisses all over your face.

“I love you, my little smartass.”

“I love you too, pops.”

Mission accomplished.

#marvel fanfiction #bucky x reader #protective bucky barnes

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starlemons · 23 days ago

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Coffee and Crime ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ PART TWO

Pairing ✦ mafia!bucky x reader

Word Count ✦ 2.2K

Warnings ✦ overall story has a 18+ content warning, MDNI, unwanted groping, attempted SA, mentions of being roofied, mention of blood, physical violence, alcohol, clubbing, someone flashing a crowd, cussing

A/N ✦ I wrote part two a lot quicker than I thought I would, I'm actually really enjoying this story so far! Stay tuned for part three :)

PART ONE »»» Series Masterlist

I will update the series every 1-4 days depending on my schedule

“Would you get your head out of la-la-land and focus.”, Nat said, snapping her fingers in front of your face.

It had been three days since your interaction with Bucky, and you kept finding yourself daydreaming about him, wishing the handsome man would come back into the coffee shop soon.

“Sorry Nat.”, you said sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck.

Your friend stood in front of you in her bedroom, a tight purple dress clung to her figure.

“What do you think of this one?”

“You could wear a trash bag and still look amazing. But I think that I like the green one more.”, you said pointing to the silky cocktail dress she had tossed onto the bed next to where you sat.

“Well then I guess green it is.”

The two of you were at your and Nat's shared apartment, readying yourselves to go out for your mutual friend Thor’s birthday party. Nat considered herself a clubbing queen, she loved to be the life of the party. You on the other hand would prefer to be at home.

“Now little-miss-wallflower.”, Nat said pointing to you, “We need to put together something for you to wear.”

She had you try on outfit after outfit, repeatedly saying none of them had that oomph she was going for.

“Nat can I just wear this?”, you pleaded with her, gesturing to the long black bodycon dress she had put you in.

“No, that's not fitting the image I have in my head.”, she said, ruffling through the closet.

“And what exactly is that image?”

“I want a sexy, bold, outgoing vibe.”

“You know that being bold and outgoing aren’t exactly my thing, right?”

“Exactly, you need to get out of your comfort zone Y/N, live a little.”

After several more outfit changes Nat finally found the perfect ensemble. A red-wine colored dress adorned your body. Its neckline dipped dangerously low, reaching below your sternum and the bottom of the garment barely hit mid-thigh.

“Isn’t this a bit much?”, you asked, looking yourself up and down in the mirror.

“Not in my opinion.” she shrugged, “But anyways you look amazing so I say this is it.”

Staring at yourself again, you did have to admit the dress did make you feel hot.

“Okay fine, you win, I’ll wear this.”

Nat smiled from ear to ear, “Amazing! Now let’s finish getting ready.”

You added a pair of black heels to your outfit, straightened your hair, and Nat had helped you do a smokey eye for your makeup. After an hour of getting ready, the two of you were walking out the front door and heading downstairs to wait for your Uber.

After the quick car ride, you and Nat found yourselves outside a club, a bright blue neon sign reading Supernova sat above the front door. Both of you joined the line to get in. Once you reached the front, the bouncer checked your ID’s and stamped your hands with a shooting star that lit up under the flashing lights.

You scanned the club, glancing over the horde of people, before your eyes finally found who you were looking for. Grabbing Nat’s hand you pulled her behind you in the direction of your friends.

“Y/N! Nat!”, Thor cheered seeing the two of you approaching.

“Hi Thor! Happy Birthday!”, you yelled over the booming music, giving him a hug.

You then greeted your other friends; Wanda, and Clint. The group sat at a table near one of the many small stages scattered about the club. Each of the platforms had girls dancing on them. Your eyes quickly looked away as one of them took off her top, cheers erupting from the group of men standing below her. You felt beyond out of your element.

“You look like you’re about to jump out of your skin Y/N.”, Clint chuckled at you.

You shrugged at him, “I think I just need to get a drink in me. I’ll be right back.”

Walking away from your friends you snaked your way through the throng of people dancing, reaching the bar.

The bartender, a girl with bright pink hair and several facial piercings, turned from the man she was talking to, yelling from the other end of the bar top, “Be with you in just a second!”

You nodded at her, looking up at the chalkboard menu sitting above many shelves of alcohol. Your eyes scanned over the neon pink chalk settling on the special for the night.

Tonight's Special: Midnight Whisper

⛦ vodka, blue curacao, grenadine, sprite, edible glitter

⛦ $11

You leaned up against the bar, studying your surroundings while you waited. Couples were dancing a little too close for comfort, there was a group of girls circling around one of their friends as she threw up in a trashcan by the dancefloor, a group of frat boys sang along to the music blasting through the club.

As your eyes glanced at the V.I.P. area, they widened in shock. Bucky sat in the corner, surrounded by Steve and a few more men. You locked eyes with him and he raised his glass towards you, shooting you a smile.

“What can I get for you?”

You jumped in surprise, turning to see the bartender.

“Can I get a Midnight Whisper?”

“Of course, that’ll be $11.”

Reaching inside your purse your fingers wrapped around your wallet, pulling it out to pay.

“I’ve got it.”, a voice said from behind you.

You looked over your shoulder seeing a man you didn’t know behind you.

“It’s okay really.”, you said.

“No, I’ve got it sexy, a lady with a body like yours shouldn’t have to pay.”, he smirked down at you.

He handed the bartender some cash.

“Um thank you.”, you said flatly.

“No problem, smoke show, I’m Caleb, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you.”, you grumbled, not meaning it at all, but trying to be polite because he just bought you a drink.

“Here you go girly.”, the pink haired girl slid you your cocktail.

Caleb slid his arm around your shoulders, hand lingering over your drink. You were looking at his face as he did this, trying to figure out how to get out of this situation.

Reaching for your drink, you turned away from him, “Thanks for the drink, I’ve got to get back to my friends now, they’re probably wondering where I went.”

Caleb’s hand shot out, gripping your bicep, “What do you mean you’ve got to go back to your friends? I just bought that for you, can’t you stay and at least talk to me for a bit?”

“First of all,let go of me.”, you hissed yanking your arm out of his grip, “And secondly I tried to pay for my own drink, but you insisted, I said thank you for it, but that doesn’t mean I owe you shit.”

You turned and weaved back through the crowd towards your friends.

As you approached Nat raised an eyebrow at you.

“What’s got you in such a sour mood.”, she said, studying your visibly pissed expression.

“Some dude bought my drink for me and acted like I owed him a conversation because of it.”, you rolled your eyes.

“I would be irritated too.”, Wanda said from beside you.

You laughed, “Anyway enough about that weirdo, guess who I just saw Nat?”

“Who?”

Grinning, you said, “That Bucky guy from work the other day!”

“Oh my God!”

“Who’s Bucky?”, Wanda asked.

You filled your friend in on the handsome man.

“Why don’t you go ask for his number?”, Clint said, eavesdropping on your conversation.

“Because he’s in the V.I.P area, and I don’t have the balls to do it.”, you laughed out, taking a sip of your drink.

Just then Thor appeared, having come from the dancefloor.

“Come on guys let's go dance!”, he yelled.

He grabbed your hand pulling you with him, the rest of your group following behind.

As you guys danced and drank, you began to feel weird. Your head was pounding and you were hit with a wave of nausea.

“I don’t feel good.”, you whispered to Nat, and you rushed to the bathrooms.

“Hey wait-”, she called after you.

You disappeared into the crowd leaving Nat behind, as you stumbled through bodies, your vision began to get blurry leaving you a disoriented mess. There was no way that one drink had done this to you.

Finally you reached the hallway in the back of the club that led to the bathrooms. You shakily leaned up against the wall, dragging yourself along the cool cinder blocks towards the ladies room. Suddenly you found yourself pushed up against the wall, your back smacking it so hard you almost felt the wind rush out of your lungs.

“Hi beautiful.”, Caleb jeered at you.

“What-”, you slurred out, tongue feeling heavy.

He cut you off, covering your mouth with his hand, moving your lolling head back. His other hand settled on the back of your thigh, slowly creeping its way up, his fingers digging into your ass cheek. Your body was like Jell-O, you couldn’t move, leaving you defenseless. You felt tears begin to well in your eyes as you looked up at him.

Next thing you knew Caleb was lying flat on his back a few feet away and you crumpled sliding down the wall to the ground, your legs unable to support yourself.

“What the hell man!”, Caleb screamed, a cut to the side of his head had blood cascading down his face.

“Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing.”, someone said.

You looked up at your savior, realizing it was the same man who had generously tipped you the other day.

“Oh what so a guy can’t feel up his girlfriend anymore?”, Caleb lied.

“Sweetheart,” Bucky said looking down at you, “Is this guy your boyfriend?”

“No.”, you gurgled out.

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about! The bitch is just drunk!”, Caleb yelled as he stood up.

Bucky however knew that wasn’t the case. You were obviously out of it, but not from alcohol, you gave away the tell tale signs of being roofied.

After he saw you at the bar, he had been watching you. He saw your interaction with Caleb, almost getting up after the man had grabbed you, but relaxed when he saw you could handle it on your own. However when he saw you stumbling off towards the bathrooms and Caleb stalking after you, he stood up and followed the two of you, ignoring Steve asking him where he was going.

He had entered the hallway just as the slime ball had groped you, and without thinking, Bucky decked him in the head. In all honesty Bucky hadn’t felt this angry in a while. It pissed him off to no end, seeing Caleb taking advantage of you, the shy and sweet barista he had just met the other day.

“Y/N, oh my God what the hell happened?”, Nat appeared at the end of the hallway.

“This jackass drugged her.”, Bucky growled, nodding in Caleb's direction.

Nat moved towards the aforementioned jackass, but was stopped by Bucky putting his arm out.

“Let me deal with him. Get her up to the V.I.P area, let Steve know what happened.”

Nodding Nat moved down to the ground, throwing your arm around her shoulder and dragging you upwards. You stumbled as the two of you walked back down the hallway, out into the club. Looking back over your shoulder you saw Bucky nearing Caleb, rolling the sleeves of his dress shirt up.

Hazily you remember Nat heaving you to the V.I.P section. Steve immediately recognized the pair of you from the other day, and he jumped up helping Nat carry you to one of the couches. While they did so Nat explained the situation to him.

“Tony go get her some water.”, Steve told one of the other men that had been sitting with him.

The dark haired man turned and headed towards the bar with urgency.

“Y/N, Nat are you guys okay?”, you heard Clint shouting from the velvet rope sectioning off the V.I.P area from the rest of the club.

“Are those your friends?”, Steve asked looking at the group that had gathered.

“Yeah they are.”, Nat said.

“Hey guys let them up here.”

One of the security guards by the rope lifted it up and allowed your friends through.

“You know that guy from earlier she said was weird? Somehow he drugged her.”, Nat said to your friends.

“Where’s he at? What's he look like? I'm going to go kick his ass.”, Thor stated, turning to head back down to the dancefloor and hunt down Caleb.

“Someone else already beat you to it.”, Nat said pointing to Bucky who had returned from the hallway.

“Sam, Scott, can the two of you go get the mess in the hallway cleaned up?”, Bucky asked as he neared everyone.

“Gotcha.”, Sam nodded.

“What’d you do kill him?”, Nat asked gob smacked.

“No, just taught him a lesson about keeping his hands to himself.”, he said as he picked up a cocktail napkin from one of the tables, wiping blood off his knuckles.

Your vision started blurring again and the ringing in your ears drowned out any other sounds. The last thing you remember was Bucky looking at you worriedly before you finally passed out.

PART THREE

I AM OPENING A TAGLIST FOR THIS STORY LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ADDED!

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huffelpuff210 · 8 months ago

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Ours Soft Dark Stucky x Omega Reader

Soft Dark Alpha Stucky x Omega Reader

Warning: Stalking, kidnapping, drugging, confinement, dark themes, Non Con, man handling, threats, mentions of past abuse,

Summary: Day by Day Both Bucky and Steve feel like something is missing in their lives that is until they meet you.

You work as a RN at the nearby hospital, you were just leaving an agonizing fourteen hour shift, dead tired,

You were walking past a store, where there were TV’s you could watch from outside of the window,

The news was on,

“This is Becky reporting from Stark tower where in a few minutes Alpha Tony Stark is going to make his big announcement.” The news lady says,

You stand there with your arms crossed, a lot of people on the street were crowding around as well,

The Alpha’s in Stark tower are a big deal to everyone so when they make an announcement it’s normally a big uproar

Tony walks out to the stage,

“Good afternoon everyone, as everyone may have been aware, the decrease in Omega’s in the past decade have declined drastically.” He says

It was no secret that Omega’s appear less and less each year, in fact you read in the paper that there is 1 out of 5% that anyone would come across one, You were in fact one, but you take suppressants and wear a special perfume to mask the smell,

“So as of today, I have signed a bill passing that if you are an Omega you must register, due to the decrease in our species this law is in effect as of today.” Tony says

You eyes widen,

“We also have a stations in each clinic to ensure you can find a place to register.” He says

This made your blood boil, You didn’t like Alpha’s to begin with, Your father and brother’s made sure of that, always talking down to you like you were nothing compared to them, abusing you any chance they got, telling you, that you were nothing but a tool a mutt that your only purpose in life was to breed,

And here is another example of how much you hate and yet fear alpha’s they think they can control Omega’s,

“If any Omega’s fail to comply we will have no choice but to place you in a special program.” Tony says

“That will be all thank you.” He says walking off stage,

You shake your head and make your way to your apartment, but you couldn’t help this feeling that someone was watching you, You stop in your tracks, to look around listening, smelling, but there were too many scents, you brush it off as fatigue and paranoia.

You finally enter your apartment, it wasn’t much given the salary to make, barely scraping by, but it was the only way, the only way to avoid detection not just from Alpha’s but your family that has been on the hunt for you since you ran away when you were sixteen, you are now twenty one, but they still continue to hunt you like an animal,

All because you are an Omega,

After taking your suppressant and showering, you are laying in bed when a smell catches your attention, It smelled like pine, and cinnamon, you sit up quickly, it wasn’t your father or brother’s but you don’t notice the smell which causes you to panic,

You peek through the curtains not seeing a single person, you make sure everything is locked,

You peek out the peep hole at your door, no one,

You feel your heart rate slow down hoping you were just imagining it,

Bucky just couldn’t believe his luck, he was on his way to the tower, when a smell caught his attention, sure it was very faint but his sense of smell is stronger than most Alpha’s it smelled like vanilla with a hint of cedar

“Omega...” He whispers

He finds a small petite woman, with long dark hair and green eyes, she was beautiful, but by the smell she’s definitely on something she shouldn’t be on,

He opens his phone to call Steve as he follows her from a distance,

“Steve, Your not going to believe what I found.” He says with a smirk on his lips,

You didn’t go to work for a few days, you were getting paranoid, the smell kept getting stronger as if someone was in your apartment or on the fire escape at the window,

But your boss called you today, telling you if you didn’t come in today you were fired,

So you cautiously leave your apartment, just as you were locking the door an arm wrapped around your neck, with a hand covering your mouth,

You elbow the attacker causing him to grunt, but he didn’t loosen his grip,

“Shhh, sweetheart, we’re here now.” You hear a man’s voice whisper in your ear,

suddenly there was a jab of a needle in your upper arm, you watch as the liquid is injected in your arm,

“Everything will be alright.” Another voice says

you feel your limbs give way, and your vision blur slowly slipping into darkness,

Bucky catches you as you fall, picking you up bridal style, your head against his chest,

Steve moves your dark hair out of your face,

“She’s beautiful.” Steve says

“Told you.” Bucky says

“She’s light though.” Bucky says again,

“It’s alright she has us now.” Steve says placing his hand on Bucky’s shoulder,

Bucky nods, as they both smile down at you

408 notes · View notes

buckyalpine · 1 year ago

Note

The wait way universe. The one where they get married.

Ohh god it is perfect.

Please say you will write more of this?

I am begging you.

Need more of the baby.

And all the group together having fun family nights.

Another baby maybe? ;)

Aunts and uncles fighting to hold the baby.

Bucky and the reader being told the baby moved the hammer and thor really presenting him with a mini hammer?

Also I love love love love love uncle Tony’s nickname for the baby. Mini terminator love it.

Happy squealing baby is so cute.

I just love it. So much.

I will beg for more. I will. I love it. I love your writing. I love how you write the characters.

Oh god I would kill to see protective avengers. Maybe someone takes the reader and the baby, oh and even more so the reader is pregnant. :0 dun dun dun…. Protective angry Bucky, Steve, Tony,Sam ,Nat, Wanda, Bruce etc

OKAY YES. I'm here for PROTECTIVE AVENGERS OVER ALL THE BABY BUCKIES AND HIS ANGEL. You can read this piece as a stand alone. I added the links for other parts if you want to read it but you don't have to. We're all here for what happens when you mess with Bucky's family.

Wait, what?

Wait, what? 2

I do (again) Wait, what? 3

Wait, what? More Babies?

Competitive God Fathers

You smiled to yourself, carefully adding the last piece of tape to Bucky's gift, tying a perfect bow around the wrapped box before hiding it in the closet. Bucky was due to come back soon and while you missed him like crazy, his absence made it easier for you to get his surprise together. Over the last few weeks, you'd felt more tired than usual along with feeling tender and crampy. One trip to the pharmacy, a pregnancy test and a positive result later, you'd bought a custom onesie with Baby Barnes Jr #4 printed on the front.

You hoped Bucky would enjoy the surprise you were growing in your belly, especially considering how often he kept insisting he wanted just one more, adding to your growing family with Steve Jr who had just turned 5 and your 3 year old twins Samantha and Nathaniel. You hid the present under the bed before going to the playroom to tuck your littles ones into bed, the three of them unusually quiet compared to their usual mischief.

"C'mon munchkins" You smiled at the sight before you with Stevie sprawled on a large bean bag, his brother and sister on tucked on either side, their big brother reading to them while they intently looked at the pictures. "Bed time for you babies"

"Will daddy be home soon?" Samantha asked with a pout, a complete daddy's girl just like you, tucking her face into your neck as you scooped her up along with Nathaniel while Steve followed promptly behind.

"Of course bub, he'll be here first thing in the morning" You assured her, kissing her forehead before tucking her into bed followed by the other little one. "Good night loves" You turned off the lights before going back to your room where you knew Stevie was waiting with his favorite book, ready for a bedtime story. It was a special bonding time you always made sure to have with him, not wanting you first baby boy to feel like he was no longer one of your favorites after the twins were born.

"What did you pick tonight baby" You got under the covers, fluffing the pillows and propping them up while Stevie snuggled up beside you, plopping a book about science onto your lap. You chuckled at the nerdy side he'd gotten from his dad, reading through scientific discoveries that were made in the last century and theories that were still being tested. He listened with wide eyes until they grew heavy, eventually falling asleep on your lap, not having the slightest clue you'd carried him to bed and tucked him in with a kiss to his cheek. "Sleep tight my sweet boy"

You slipped back under the covers, grabbing a book for yourself while occasionally running your hands over your belly, soaking in the quiet night before the team arrived after their latest mission.

It wasn't often that the compound was empty; few missions required all hands on deck but this was one of them. You'd received a message from FRIDAY informing you the jet would be landing in a few hours and that no medical assistance would be required because no one had sustained major injures. It was the sole reason you were able to relax so easily, happy waiting for your husbands arrival so you could tell him the good news.

You settled comfortably under the covers until a faint sound from the common room pulled you from your book again. FRIDAY would have alerted you if the jet was approaching and you would've definitely heard the sound of the engine approaching anyway.

But was still eerily quiet.

Then you heard something again.

You were sure it was nothing but you pressed the button under the bedside table that locked and secured the rooms of the little ones just to be safe. Tony had added additional security for their rooms in case of emergencies, with 4 different operating systems working at once. Absolutely nothing would happen to his godchildren under his roof.

It was probably nothing.

Still.

You grabbed the knife you kept hidden behind the headboard, tucking in under the waistband of you sleep shorts before making your way down, reprimanding yourself for being paranoid over what was probably just sounds of the plumbing and vents creaking in the middle of the night.

The halls were clear, easing some of your nerves as you continued to the common room where you heard the sound. The hairs on your neck stood up when you saw the glow of the kitchen light turned on, grabbing your knife, only to find one of the new agents sitting at the kitchen island, sipping on a coffee.

"Annabeth?" Your brows were knitted together, discreetly slipping the knife away, wondering how she'd gotten into the main floor of the compound when it was restricted to others after a certain time.

"Hey y/n" She gave you a sleepy smile while you watched her warily, "Couldn't sleep. Hope you don't mind, just wanted to grab a mug before heading back to trainee wing"

"Yeah, its fine" You spoke slowly, something still not sitting right with you though you didn't show it.

"How come you're still up, waiting for Sergeant Barnes?" There was something sinister in the sweetness of her voice, cocking her head while you hummed in response, stomach churning. "You're both so cute together you know. It's nice to see how his life has come together after all he's been through as the asset"

"Excuse me?" Your eyes grew wide, heart hammering against your chest, it was rare for anyone to refer to Bucky as the asset. Most referred to him as the winter soldier, even soldat, only those deep in Hdyra had called him-

"We want our asset back" She whispered, cracking a smirk and nodding to someone behind you. Before you could turn around, a large form grasped your body, slamming a hand over your mouth muffling your screams. You didn't have any time to react, feeling a pinch to your neck and slipping into darkness immediately after.

Bucky stretched with a sleepy yawn as the jet began its descent, already waiting at the doors and ready to hop out and see his wife and babies. He smiled at the thought of them all safely tucked into bed, sleeping soundly while you probably tried to stay up with a book. He always found you dozed off, book loosely falling from your hand, still propped up against the bed every time you waited for him. Didn't matter not how many times he told you to just go to bed. You always stayed up till you saw he was safe and sound.

Sam helped Bucky put away his equipment so he could get to you faster, everyone smiling watching the soldier dash off, running to his family.

"It's nice to see him like this" Nat nodded, trudging with the rest as they entered the compound, nothing amiss while they went to the conference room.

"He deserves it" Steve smiled, happy his best friend finally had what he'd always dreamt of. A wife. Kids. A safe home for them.

Bucky made his way over to see his little ones first, stopping in front of the heavily decorated door, covered with Captain America and Iron Man posters, courtesy of the two Godfathers competing for #1. Bucky smiled, turning the knob, only to find it locked shut, which was odd considering the only way to lock the door was if the security system had been activated.

He shook his head, frowning as he made his way to your shared bedroom instead, figuring it was a glitch or mistake. He got a sinking feeling in his stomach seeing the door open ajar, with the lamp turned on, your book set aside but you were nowhere to be seen.

"Baby?" Bucky called out, struggling to keep his panic at bay when the bathroom was empty, as was the closet. "Sweetheart?"

He called down the hall way a little louder before jogging to the kitchen but there had been no sign of you there when he'd entered. He started to move quicker, running back to disable to security system, breathing a sigh of relief to find all three little ones still sleeping soundly. He softly shut the door before immediately going to the conference room.

"Y/n, has anyone seen her?" He hoped to see you sitting with the others but he was filled with dread when the others shook their head in confusion. "She's-she's not in her room. I've checked everywhere, the security system was activated for the kids' room, she wouldn't leave the compound around this hour, somethings wrong"

No one asked questions, immediately jumping into action; Tony starts to comb through security from the time they left while Nat double checks every floor and room, just to be safe. Steve and Sam help Bucky look over your bedroom for any signs of a struggle. He ran his hand along the areas they'd hidden weapons, his stomach dropping when he felt the empty space behind the headboard.

"She took the knife" Bucky swallowed thickly while Sam and Steve shared concerned glances.

"Look, she's strong Buck, whatever it is, we'll find her" Steve insisted while Bucky continued to look, checking under the bed where he'd kept a pistol, nothing out of the ordinary except-

He frowned, seeing a little gift bag hidden underneath, newly packed with a gold bow placed on top. He picked it up, brows knitted together as he pulled away the tissue paper, feeling soft material tucked at the bottom of the bag. He took it out, heart splitting into two at the words written on the little onesie,

"Fuck!" A broken sob pulled Sam and Steve from their search, finding Bucky slumped by the edge of the bed.

"Buck?" they shared concerned glances seeing him holding something small in his hands, clutching it tightly to his chest.

"She's-she's pregnant" Bucky whispered, tears welling in his eyes holding the tiny jumpsuit in his hands, his heart couldn't take it-

"Barnes, we have something!" Tony's voice echoed through the coms, the three men running back to the conference room where Tony had pulled the footage from you in the kitchen. Bucky watched in silence, jaw clenched seeing the new agent use a stolen keycard to sneak into the compound with a Hydra agent, the two of them quietly waiting for you to come down.

He had to keep from smashing the TV, watching the man grab you from behind, injecting you with something before carelessly carrying you off like ragdoll, his heart aching, wishing he'd gotten home sooner. All voices around him drowned out to a faint buzz, the sounds of Tony and Steve giving out commands all muffled as if they were underwater.

"We have the coordinates locked, everyone down down to the jet, remember your positions.

It was like a switch was flipped.

"Cap and I clear the entry ways, Nat, Clint, follow behind, Sam, surveillance from the top. Barnes, you just have to get y/n"

The former young husband and father who sat with tears streaming down his cheeks was replaced with a man who knew no remorse. No guilt. No sense of right or wrong.

"Barnes"

Steve knew of this man well.

"Barnes?"

The one they called the Winter Soldier.

"Baby" Bucky whispered, scooping his sleepy eldest son in his arms before striding over to the twins bed, tucking them in together. "Daddy's gotta go another mission but we'll be back soon, alright?"

Steve could sense something was wrong, the strain in his fathers voice making him worry.

"Again?" He asked while Samantha and Nathaniel stirred slightly, trying to tuck themselves into their daddy's warmth. "Where's mama?" He asked with a tiny whisper having heard the commotion outside of the room, his hearing enhancing more and more each day. Bucky swallowed thickly while Steve stepped into the room to check on his best friend, his heart breaking over the three little ones clinging onto him.

"We're going to get her, promise bub" Buck kissed their heads, grabbing their favorite stuffies to cuddle with.

"Let me see my favorite little soldiers" Steve strode over, giving them a brave smile. "We'll be back before you know it"

"Will mama be okay?" Nathanial whispered, grabbing onto Steve's wrist before he could leave, tears streaming down his little chubby cheek.

"Of course" Steve reassured him, kissing his forehead and tucking him back into bed, "We'll never let anything happen to your mama"

That was a promise.

"Oh fuck" Clint snorted to himself watching the black mask that had been locked away for good slip over Bucky's face, his usual leather jacket replaced with a thick black tactical vest, straps running across his chest.

"They're fucked, aren't they" Sam whispered to Tony as he put his suit on, the glancing over to the stone cold brunette who sat in silence, finger resting on the trigger. Like he doesn't actually need us"

"We're really just going for moral support, also no one hurts our y/n" Tony whispered back. The teams full focus was getting you back along with keeping your babies safe; Pepper had come to look after the littles ones till you were found safe and sound. While the team was fully ready to take apart anyone that tried to hurt you. It was more that evident Bucky wouldn't have a problem taking hydra apart by himself but they wouldn't let him go alone.

Bucky didn't speak a word as soon as the jet hit the ground hitting his targets from 100's of feet away, each bullet landing right between their eyes.

"...Did you know he could do that?" Sam called from the coms, watching agents drop while he flew across the top of the base. Tony blasted the front of the doors while Steve cleared the hall way, throwing his shield, knocking down three men that guarded the wing.

"Looks like she's down in the cells" Sam called, looking at where the heat signals were coming from. Bucky made his way down the sterile hallway, red lights suddenly flashing above when a woman charged towards him.

"Welcome back soldat" Annabeth sauntered, blocking the doors to where you were being held with a satisfied smirk on her face. "We knew you'd come back. We missed you-

"Oh, I'm gonna have fun with this" Nat smirked, stepping in front of Bucky and grabbing Annabeth by her hair, dragging her off to a corner before throwing a punch to her jaw.

Bucky continued, slamming the lab doors open, his eyes landing onto your tied up form, strapped onto the very same chair he'd been tied to every time he'd been wiped. He didn't give anyone a second to think, killing those closest to him while the others tried to escape.

"You wanted me back, didn't you" Bucky's voice was a low growl as he stepped over the bodies he shot down before running to save you. "Well, I'm back"

The ones that ran off didn't get too far, making it out of the lab, only to be met with a very angry Steve and Tony.

"You don't hurt my fucking bestfriend" Steve gritted, slamming the agent to the floor before grabbing another and throwing him to Tony.

"You are not taking away my turn at being a God father" Sam grabbed another that tried to hide behind the rubble, swooped up to the ceiling, dangling to agent in the air for a while before letting him drop. Bucky was by your side in an instant, cutting off the straps that bound your arms together.

"Baby?" Bucky scooped you up in his arms, cradling your body to his chest, his hand gently brushing your cheek. "You okay sweetheart?"

"Bucky!" You cried out, clinging onto him, trembling while he kissed you before protectively covering your face from the bloody trail he left behind him. "You're here"

"M'taking you home baby, c'mon" Bucky whispered against your hair, carrying you tucked against him with your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, breathing in his scent. "I got you babygirl, it's okay"

"I was so scared" Bucky held onto you tightly on the ride back, he had never felt relief like this, his heart finally calming down. "M'so sorry sweet girl"

"S'not your fault baby" you whispered back, smiling when you felt a kiss to the back of your head.

"Glad you're okay sweetheart" Steve gave you a squeeze before leaving you and Bucky to have your privacy again, staying near the front with the rest of the team, watching over Annabeth, who had been captured for questioning. Once you'd reached the compound, you were greeted with proper hugs and kisses from the others, hearing the pitter patter of little feel seconds later.

"MAMAA" Your babies ran to you, climbing up your leg until they were all properly snuggled against you, refusing to let go until they were sure you were perfectly safe.

"Daddy and your aunts and uncles rescued me, see? I'm all okay" You reassured them while they looked at you intently, checking over you the same way you did whenever they had a fall. Once they were satisfied that you were okay, they let their daddy take you away to get cleaned up while it was Tony's turn to read them a bedtime story even if it was nearing morning.

"Right where you belong" Bucky smiled, wrapping his arm around your waist after you'd both showered, foregoing clothes as you climbed into bed, snuggled over the covers. He spooned you from behind, the feel of his warm bare skin comforting you.

"I love you so much angel" He pressed a soft kiss against your shoulder, eyes brightening when he remembered the little present he'd found earlier. His hand slipped down to softly brush over your tummy. "Both of you" He playfully whispered, smiling at your soft gasp as you wiggled to turn around and face him, growing bashfully shy when he pulled the tiny jumpsuit he'd kept on his pillow.

"Was there something you wanted to tell me mama?"

"Think you're ready for a 4th?" You giggled, burying your face into his chest while he grinned, peppering your face with kisses till you squealed.

"M'ready for a 5th and 6th if you'd let me angel" Bucky smirked, playfully nipping your jaw before shuffling down to rest his head on your tummy, kissing your soft skin while you carded your fingers through his hair. "but I can't wait to meet this little one first"

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maivolpe · 9 months ago

Note

I'm giggling rn what if reader and bucky go on a mission and reader gets shot while trying to protect bucky but the bullet was actually a 🌟 special 🌟 bullet and bucky has to take care of reader until they feel better (LIKE A BARBED WIRE BULLET omg and they keep bleeding through their bandage and finally find out what bullet it was GASP.)

fun fact: this would probably technically be a war crime! so sorry for how late this is, i appreciate your patience and thank you for requesting ♡

･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader cw: cursing, gunshot, blood wc: 918

“bucky?”

he didn’t respond. he was focused on something sam had said, face frozen in a smile, oblivious to the shadow at the window, the glint of metal in the sunlight.

but you could reach him. you dropped your glass, crossing the kitchen in three steps, planting your hands on his chest. you pushed him, both of you tumbling towards the floor, and then…

“hey, hey, hey…” bucky’s voice floated across the blankness, calm and measured. “don’t move…”

why did he say that? you weren’t moving.

“…didn’t hit anything important, you’re okay…”

what didn’t hit anything important?

“…muscle and fat, jus’ muscle and fat…”

and suddenly it occurred to you what he was talking about.

everything came rushing back, your train of thought screeching back into the station, and you gasped, face pressed against the cold tile of the kitchen floor. pain struck up your leg like lightning, and you cried out, bolting upright.

“easy, now, sweetheart,” he grunted, laying his vibranium arm across your chest while he pressed a cloth to your leg with his other. “can’t have you moving right now.”

fuck, it hurt. you’d been shot before, but this time it was different somehow. it burned with a fierce intensity, ravaging your leg. you felt like you might explode at any second.

“sor- i- i-“ you stammered.

“hey, don’t forget to breathe, doll.”

you bit down another cry, forcing air out through your nose.

“good, that’s good… sam?”

you caught a glimpse of him ripping off a section of his shirt for a tourniquet. somewhere in the back of your mind, you felt sad. you’d liked that shirt. it was a shame he’d have to use it on you.

“buck, it- fuck…”

you really felt it now, warm and sticky blood seeping through the cloth, flowing down your leg. the pain seemed to deepen, spreading up through your calf to the rest of your body, and you gritted your teeth to halt a pained scream.

“sam?”

bucky glanced down at your fear-stricken face with a mix of guilt and shame, but quickly offered you a tight-lipped smile. “nothin’ we haven’t done before, huh sweetheart?”

“feels different,” you groaned. “w-worse.”

he swore, propping your leg up onto his knee. you hissed at the movement, but held as still as you could while he pulled the strip of cloth up to your thigh.

a door slammed somewhere behind you and sam finally drifted into your swimming vision, breathing heavily. “i got him.”

“great,” bucky grunted, pulling the knot tight with his fingers. “help me out, will ya? i think it’s a dum-dum.”

then sam swore, and you knew to be worried. “give me that.”

bucky hovered back over you, lifting your chin with his hand. he thumbed at your cheek, and you leaned into the contact. “eyes on me, doll. sammy’s jus’ gonna tighten that up for you.”

you nodded, but it felt detached, as if you were slowly floating away from your body. his bright blue eyes were getting harder and harder to focus on, your body begging for the respite of unconsciousness.

“she’s going,” you heard bucky say, and you let the darkness take you.

when you next awoke, the pain had faded to a dull throb, and you were decidedly not dead. it was a good start.

you were in bed. not your bed, though. the gentle crackle of a record player sounded somewhere in the corner— bucky’s bedroom, then. sunlight was just beginning to stream through the blinds.

the super-soldier was curled up in an armchair next to your bed, head cupped in his palm. his hair, loose and unkempt, dangled in front of his face. he must have nodded off at some point during the night— that was rare, but then again, you were sure it had been a long one.

“what’s a dum-dum?” you croaked.

bucky startled awake, instinctively checking over your bandaged leg before meeting your eyes. his gruff expression melted into one more sympathetic, and he reached out to squeeze your hand.

“hey there, trooper.”

“hey. what’s a dum-dum?”

he chuckled at your persistence. “dum-dum bullets are expanding projectiles. they’re used to enlarge wounds and increase impact shock.”

your eyes widened, and you pushed yourself up on your elbows, straining to catch a glimpse at your calf.

“we got you fixed up,” he said quickly. “don’t worry.”

“thanks, buck,” you murmured, sinking back into the cushions.

he didn’t respond, and you blinked up at him. he had paled, the grave expression you were so used to seeing returning to his face.

“you shouldn’t have done that,” he mumbled, voice gravelly.

“you were gonna get shot,” you said. “i did what anyone would’ve done.”

bucky shook his head. “you should’ve let it happen.”

“i don’t think it’s fair,” you argued. “just because you’re strong doesn’t mean you should have to take it all the time.”

“i can take it,” he corrected. “i am guaranteed to come out on the other side. you’re not.”

“that’s so stupid,” you sniffed.

“i know,” he said, smiling sadly. “but if it means keeping you safe, i’d take it every single time.”

you sighed, beckoning at him. “get in.”

he gingerly climbed over you, careful to avoid jostling your leg. you threw the comforter over him, and once he was settled, pressed your forehead to his.

“you owe me, barnes.”

he chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “my knight in shining armor.”

you know he’s teasing you, but you don’t care. “of course, princess.”

･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ.

ko-fi ♡

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #blurb #bucky barnes blurb #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes hurt/comfort #protective bucky barnes #winter soldier #marvel #mai writes

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littleredwolf · 2 years ago

Text

Compromised

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Words: 1,438

Summary: An undercover mission goes awry, but Bucky had good reason to blow his cover.

Warnings: Mentions of intended sexual assault, brief mention of using alcohol as a coping mechanism, blood.

Your mind was a battlefield as you wrestled with your thoughts, contemplating your options and trying not to give into the panic that was creeping in.

You'd been working undercover alongside Bucky for weeks, tracking an asset that could provide valuable intel on a new terrorist organisation that had recently cropped up. When your target had sent some of his cronies to request a meeting with the super soldier, you'd been less than enthused.

"Don't worry, doll. I'll only be gone for an hour, tops."

Bucky's reassuring words rang in your ears as you paced the motel room, the ticking of the giant clock on the wall taunting you with every second that passed. He'd promised an hour, yet it had been almost three.

Your worry gnawed at your insides. You couldn't risk compromising the mission, but you couldn't sit around waiting for the worst either. Digging out the burner phone you'd packed for an emergency, you dialled the only number you'd saved on the contact list.

"Steve, I've lost Bucky," you blurted before he even had the chance to speak.

There was a long pause before he replied.

"Okay...how long has he been gone?"

"Almost three hours…"

"You didn't think to call sooner!?"

You pinched the bridge of your nose as you felt a headache coming on.

"I didn't know what to do! He was only supposed to meet the asset and touch base, it wasn't supposed to take this long!"

"It's okay, Y/N, we'll find him," Steve reassured as he picked up on the increasing panic in your tone.

"Is his tracker still on?" You asked after a moment's pause, listening intently to Steve asking FRIDAY to pull up Bucky's location history.

"Hmm, it says here that he's been sitting in the bar across the street for the last hour…" he mused, sounding just as baffled as you felt.

"You're seriously telling me I've been going crazy with worry and he's been sitting in a bar this whole time!? I'm actually going to kill him," you grumbled, grabbing your jacket from off your bed and slipping on your shoes.

"Try not to be too hard on him, Y/N…Bucky doesn't do things without reason," Steve offered, and you took a deep breath to steady yourself.

"I can't promise anything, but I'll try. Thanks for your help, Steve."

"No problem, just don't leave it so long before you get in touch next time, alright? And be careful."

"I'm always careful, I'll let you know if we run into any trouble," you said your goodbyes and hung up, immediately removing the SIM card from the back of the phone and stomping on the device. There was no such thing as being too cautious when it came to undercover work.

Satisfied with covering your tracks, you left your room and made your way across the street in search of Bucky.

–

The bar was surprisingly quiet for a Friday night and it didn't take long to locate the super soldier sitting in a booth at the back. He was alone, which was a good sign, but one look at his brooding expression told you that all was not well. As you slid into the booth beside him the smell of whiskey filled your nose - Bucky drinking hard liquor was never a good sign.

"A little early for the heavy stuff, don't you think?" You remarked, to which he simply shrugged and took a long, meaningful sip. He winced as he lowered his arm and you noticed he was favouring his left side.

"You're hurt," you observed, leaning to get a better look and gasping at the dark patch on his shirt that he'd tried, and failed, to hide beneath his leather jacket. "You're hurt and you're bleeding! What the hell!?"

Bucky shooed your hands away as you attempted to get a better look at his wound. "It's fine, I'm fine. It'll heal soon enough."

"At least let me have a look, it might get infected!" You implored, to no avail.

"Y/N, it'll be alright," he insisted, much firmer this time. You met his gaze and studied him for a moment. There was a vulnerability in his eyes that you rarely got to see, causing your worry to multiply tenfold.

"What happened Buck?" You asked softly, placing a hand over his.

"It doesn't matter,"

"Well it does to me…I've been going out of my mind with worry and all the while you've been here, covered in blood and drinking the one drink you turn to when things take a turn for the worse…you can't tell me it doesn't matter when clearly something has happened, so I need you to tell me."

Bucky remained silent as he considered your words. There was no way you'd be letting this go anytime soon, so with a sigh of defeat he began to explain.

"They took me to our target's safehouse and a load of his goons were sitting around a table playing poker…they were speaking russian but I guess they didn't realise I'm fluent because they weren't very careful about what they were saying…"

He grimaced at the memory and you squeezed his hand for reassurance.

"What were they saying, Buck? Was it valuable information?"

He shook his head.

"Then what?"

Bucky took another swig of whiskey and studied his glass for a moment. It was clear from his set jaw and tense shoulders that he was uncomfortable with the subject matter, but you needed to know the truth.

"They were talking about you…"

"Why the hell were they talking about me?"

"I'd really rather not repeat what was said," he admitted, fixing you with a pleading look. You pulled your hand away and straightened up.

"Bucky Barnes, if they were talking about me then I have a right to know what was being said!"

You hated how stern you sounded but you were growing frustrated in your impatience. With another grimace, he finally confessed.

"They started arguing over a girl - going on about who would get 'first go' and who'd make her scream the loudest…" he paused, his jaw setting in a hard line. You were sure you could hear the glass cracking under the vice-like grip of his vibranium hand, and you placed your hand on his flesh arm, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I just assumed they were making vulgar jokes about their girlfriends at first…but then one of them said your name and I snapped…"

You winced as the glass shattered in his hand, but he didn't even flinch. "They were planning on assaulting you, Y/N, as soon as I left with their boss they were gonna come here and-"

"Shhh," you quickly soothed, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear and affectionately stroking his cheek. It was a forward gesture, but you'd been friends for long enough to know it was one that he was comfortable with. He leaned into your touch and sighed.

"I messed up, Y/N, I've compromised the whole mission,"

"It's okay, Buck…"

"I should have just ignored them and sent you a message to get somewhere safe, but I couldn't help myself…"

"Bucky…"

"I should have controlled my temper - it's not the worst I've heard on a mission - but as soon as they said your name, I...I just lost it…"

"James," the sound of his first name finally got his attention and he turned to fully face you.

"I could never live with myself if anything happened to you on my watch, doll," he admitted, taking your hand from his cheek and holding it in both of his. "And I know I've fucked it all up, but I couldn't take that risk."

"It's okay, we'll figure something else out," you reassured with another squeeze of his hand.

Truth be told, messing up the mission wasn't an easy pill to swallow, but when you considered what could have happened, it made the loss a little easier to accept.

"We'd better get out of here before he sends people after us," you stated, shuffling along the seat to exit the booth. You waited for Bucky to follow suit and linked your arm in his as he stood.

"Thankyou for having my back, Buck, I appreciate it," you said, reaching up on your tiptoes and planting a tender kiss on his cheek.

The red flush of his cheeks didn't go unnoticed. He threw his arm over your shoulder and pulled you close, kissing the top of your head as you left the bar.

"I'll always have your back, doll," he promised with a smile. "'til the end of the line."

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fluff #protective bucky barnes #avengers fanfiction #tfatws fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x female character #james buchanan barnes x reader #winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n

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dearstvckyx · 3 months ago

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Bucky Barnes x Clumsy!Roommate

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Imagine moving in with Bucky Barnes, and he quickly realizes you might just be the clumsiest person he’s ever met…

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It all started the day Bucky moved in with his new roommate, you. At first, he’d thought you were just a little absent-minded, but after the fifth (maybe sixth?) time he watched you trip over your own two feet while carrying a bowl of cereal, he started to catch on. You were the clumsiest person he’d ever met. And for Bucky Barnes, who’s lived nearly a century, that’s saying something.

You’re reading a recipe on your phone in the kitchen, brow furrowed, when Bucky feels that familiar prickle at the back of his neck. He doesn’t even have to look up from his book to know what’s about to happen.

“Hey, don’t turn around too fast,” he says without looking up.

“What do you mean—” And before you can finish, you knock your elbow into the spice rack, sending an avalanche of glass bottles toward the floor.

Somehow, Bucky is already there, catching the bottles before they shatter everywhere. You blink at him, wide-eyed. “How…?”

Bucky smirks. “Spider-sense.”

It becomes a bit of a running joke. Every time you drop a knife, trip over a cable, or nearly knock a pan off the stove, Bucky’s there. Like magic, he’s always just in the right spot to keep you from taking yourself out. He even starts calling you “Disaster Darling” under his breath.

One morning, you’re reaching for the top shelf, and he calls from the other room, “Don’t even think about it.” Sure enough, you wobble on tiptoes, but before you tip over, he’s there with a hand on your waist, steadying you.

“You always know, don’t you?” you ask, half-laughing, half-amazed.

“Darlin’, at this point, I’ve got your schedule memorized. 8 AM: trip over your own feet. Noon: almost set something on fire in the kitchen. 3 PM: stub your toe on the coffee table.”

You give him a playful shove. “That’s ridiculous!”

He shrugs, grinning. “Hey, don’t blame me if I know my roommate a little too well.”

He tries to act cool, but secretly? He loves being there to catch you every time. It makes him feel like he’s part of something normal, something real. And maybe one day, when he catches you for the hundredth time, his hand steady on your waist, he’ll let his fingers linger just a little longer. Maybe he’ll pull you close, just close enough for you to feel his heartbeat racing.

And maybe, just maybe, he’ll realize that being your safety net was the best fall he ever took.

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Incident 1

You: reaches for something on the top shelf

Bucky: without even looking up “Careful.”

You: pauses mid-reach “I’m fine, Bucky. I’ve totally got this!”

Bucky: gets up and walks behind you, steadying you “You said that last time, and then I had to catch you and the spices before they seasoned our floor.”

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Incident 2

You’re in the kitchen, trying to make pancakes.

Bucky: walking in with a sigh “Alright, what’s burning?”

You: quickly turns “Nothing! I swear!”

Bucky: smirks, watching you almost drop the spatula from the freight of him coming into the kitchen “Sure, sure. Disaster Darling strikes again.”

You: “I am not that clumsy!”

Bucky: “Right, last week you didn’t trip over your own feet getting off the couch?”

You: mumbling “…that was different.”

Bucky: crosses his arms, laughing softly “Uh-huh.”

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Incident 3

One day, you’re reaching for something in the cabinet again.

Bucky: from the other room “Don’t even think about it!”

You: “How did you…?”

Bucky: appears in the doorway with that knowing smirk “I just know.”

It goes on like this. Every time you trip, stumble, or knock something over, he’s there. Sometimes he doesn’t even need to look. It’s like he has his own personal “you’re about to do something clumsy” radar. Sort of like a spider sense but a Bucky sense.

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Bonus

There’s this one time you almost fall off a ladder trying to hang up a picture.

Before he even realizes what he’s doing, Bucky’s caught you by the waist, holding you steady. And maybe he’s holding you a little longer than he should, but you don’t seem to mind, leaning back with that flustered little smile.

Bucky: clears his throat, looking away “Try not to fall so much, alright?”

You: softly laugh “Guess I’m lucky I have you.”

And in that moment Bucky realizes he loves your clumsiness, he loves protecting you…

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #clumsy reader #fluff #Bucky being soft #roommate fic #protective Bucky Barnes #marvel #mcu

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samodivaa · 2 years ago

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Mind Corruption

Bucky Barnes x ex Hydra Reader (Drabble)

Zemo can't help it - entrapping y/n's mind in the notion that she will never be free of her programming, the urge to kill is still very present in her life. Protective!Bucky

"You cannot change, you will always be a monster" "I know, but I am your monster no longer" she says as y/n's retrieves her knife from the dead body.

"Your programming is part of your brain there is no-" before Zemo can finish his sentence, the bloody knife is pressed to his throat. The invasion of her mind is successful, destruction and chaos - her past self struggling to stay hidden sometimes.

"Look at me while you die, Zemo...look at me" y/n presses the knife more, a firm line of blood forming on his skin as Zemo stares through the eyes of death. The walls are closing in, he indeed managed to slip inside of her fragile mentality. "Я просто люблю запах страха" (I just love the smell of fear) "Sweetheart, don't...look at me" she doesn't react at Bucky's voice so he decides to touch her shoulder which makes her flinch, her gaze is now fully focused on Bucky. "Give me the knife, doll..." in situations like these Bucky always uses pet names, reminding her that she is human , his favorite human. Y/n is filled with anger, filled with hate - trapped in her past shell, but there is so much patience in his heart for her. It is a lethal game - her troubled spirit still having power over her mind, it makes him suffer when she kills people on missions, he can't tame her fury sometimes. She drops the knife, trying to conquer her anger as Bucky hugs her tightly - an intimate gesture of concern that he hasn't shown in front of Sam. Y/n puts her head on Bucky's heart which is still racing - the realization that she crossed the line again, touring her head. The devil is in his hands, It's like a russian roulette - not knowing when the bullet of chaos might actually hit Bucky.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky drabble #protective!bucky #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x oc #bucky imagine #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky x female yn #protective bucky barnes #bucky x ex!asset reader

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lynlee494 · 7 months ago

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Chapter Six now available!

The Soldier’s understanding of the world begins to unravel after he completes a mission and finds a helpless and shivering kitten. Unable to leave, knowing the frail thing will die in the elements, the Soldier makes a choice...

Overwhelmed and now hiding from his handler's, things only get more complicated when he lays eyes on a picture of a familiar blonde face.

The Soldier can not risk contact, capture, and the inevitable return to Hydra and captivity would bring. He may remember Steve Rogers, but he also remembers Captain America. Similarly enhanced, the Captain would have the advantage, the Soldier’s movement would be limited with the kitten’s safety to consider.

A surveillance approach is the safest angle to take. There had been notebooks at the museum exhibit, so there may be more memories to be dredged up if Steve Rogers still keeps journals, keepsakes, things that may stir up more memories - more pieces to fill in the expanse between Bucky and the Soldier.

He’ll seek out Steve Rogers, who seems to feature in nearly every memory with Bucky, but he’ll be cautious. Can hopefully glean from the exposure more about the time before Bucky – before he – was presumed dead in a war. From before Steve’s Bucky became Hydra’s, time stuttering by till the Soldier was born.

#bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #bucky fanfic #winter soldier #bucky/steve #angst #Alpine the cat #Protective Steve Rogers #Protective Bucky Barnes #wintershield #stucky fan fic #More Tags on AO3

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urdepressedslut · 1 year ago

Note

Hello lovely,

I saw your post that your requests are open, so I will give it a try =)

Imagine Bucky and reader are best friends but they have a huge argument and now they don't talk to each other for days. She's feeling really bad, missing him. He is her most important person and now without interacting with him for days, she's feeling lost and lonely and heartbroken. Maybe she has not a super power and is only a normal human, helping the Avengers with IT or something. Due to the argument with her best friend and not talking to Bucky (Bucky ignores her completely) she begins to feel it not only mental but also physically. She can't eat probably and at the end falls deathly sick.... With a fluffy happy ending and a worried and protective Bucky

Please. That would be nice.

Take care honey

oh my goodness— my heart 😭❤️ the angst is gonna hurt, but i’m such a sucker for it. i had so much fun writing this one, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it🥰

Love Hurts

♡ Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: You and Bucky get into a heated argument, things are said and done and now he won’t speak to you. You don’t think you can handle him ignoring your existence.

♡ Warnings: language, mentions of bucky’s trauma, heavy angst, malnourishment, depression, anxiety/panic attacks, minor injuries, hospitalization, suicidal ideation, self hate, literally hurt just writing this

main masterlist

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+

Your nails bit into your palm, denting the flesh— threatening to pierce the delicate skin. It was all to hold yourself back, distract you from the words that wanted to burst out.

It was becoming a sickening routine, Bucky was reckless and had yet another near death experience on his recent mission. The anxiety and the nerves stopping your body from functioning— the dreaded wait for his jet to arrive back at the compound. You shouldn’t have to be used of receiving the call that he had yet again made a reckless move— but you were starting to discover a pattern.

It did nothing to ease the panic that swirled in your chest every time he left for missions. You’d sob, throwing up everything you had eaten that day— unable to stomach anything with the idea that Bucky was on a mission. You never found your anxiety to be so severe— but when Bucky was even mentioned about going on a mission… it spiked.

That’s where you found yourself in his room, watching him pace the space— avoiding your frustrated stare. You weren’t angry at him per say— you were angry that he didn’t value his life.

“Seriously (Y/n)— you get so worked up over nothing. I’m here and alive— isn’t that enough?” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

You pressed your nails tighter to your palm, yet the pain couldn’t stop your thundering thoughts.

“You’re here and alive now, until you do some stupid shit like this again and are dead!” You hissed, trying to keep your voice low but you didn’t know how much longer you could control yourself.

He glared at you, squinting his eyes in anger and then rolling his eyes.

“Oh for fucks sake— can you stop fucking babying me? I can handle myself!” He raised his voice, his metal arm whirring.

“I’m not babying you— I’m just scared you’re gonna get yourself killed. Do you care about your life at all?” You asked him aggressively, your voice raising just a tad.

He took a long pause, staring at you with his face void of emotion— only annoyance.

“Not really.” He admitted.

You were taken back, although you had these conversations with him a time or twenty. It was an ongoing process to get him to slowly love himself— his past as The Winter Soldier torturing his soul. He was so convinced he wasn’t deserving of anything, not even a roof over his head. It was a struggle to help him, but you weren’t going to give up on him.

“You realize if anything ever happened to you I—” Your voice broke, needing a breath, “Buck I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You thought you saw his eyes flash with guilt, but before you could linger on the look for too long— his face was hardening again.

“That doesn’t sound like my problem.” He mumbled out, making your eyes widen.

You were extremely taken back from those words, your chest aching painfully— him not knowing what effect those words had on you.

“Are you fucking serious?” You asked him, your face morphing into a hurt expression, mixed with anger. “Can you just do your job without trying to kill yourself?”

His face grew red with rage and he was stomping up towards you— his face inches from yours.

“I am doing my job— very well in fact. Unlike you who just fucking sits here doing nothing!” He defended himself, his breath hitting your face in warm pants.

“Doing nothing? Buck— why are you like this?” You puffed your chest, not backing down from his towering form.

But your words seemed to have hit a nerve, as he shrunk back slightly, narrowing his gaze at you.

“Like what?”

You furrowed your brows, slowing your racing heart from the shouting— you weren’t sure you had said anything bad. Did you?

“What?” You squeaked out, nervous now.

“You said, why am I like this… like what?” He pushed, stepping closer to you now, his face still red with anger but you could see the hurt in his eyes.

You swallowed and wondered how to convince him you didn’t mean anything bad by what you said. But you were almost positive it would be an impossible task to get Bucky to listen.

“Buck, I didn’t mean anythin—”

“What— you think I’m not capable of doing my job? You think I’m still the monster hydra made me?” He spat, his chest rising and falling quicker.

“No, no Buck listen—”

That was definitely not what you meant, you could tell he was spiraling and you were still confused as to why. You would never make him think that.

“After 70 fucking years I finally have a job that I like— that I enjoy doing— I fucking help people! I’m finally doing some good and now you’re telling me I’m not capable of doing it?” He boomed, his chest puffing into yours and your stumbled back slightly. “You think I’m only capable of being a monster? Huh? Is that what you fucking think?”

You were growing scared now, the look in his eyes wild with something and you didn’t like how close he was to you— you knew he’d never hurt you but your fear overwhelmed your senses.

“Friday— call Steve and Sam in here now!” You shouted into the room, and Bucky’s eyes squinted painfully— his metal arm whirring again.

Bucky only saw one thing— you didn’t reassure him that he was thinking irrationally. You didn’t correct him that he wasn’t the monster. Instead you called for help, that you were clearly scared— because you thought he was a monster.

He was at a loss for words and just stared at you, almost through you— as his breathing was only getting heavier at the sight of your fearful eyes.

Not even minutes later, Steve and Sam were busting through the door, taking in the scene and separated you and Bucky.

“Hey— what’s going on?” Steve asked in between the two of you. “Buck, what’s wrong man?”

You couldn’t seem to find the words and just stood speechless as well— the fight startling you. This was one of the worst ones, and it was also one that still left you confused. You cursed yourself for not being careful enough with your words— but it was almost impossible to get through to him when he was on the brink of having an episode.

Sam walked closer to you, his facing morphing into concern as he took in your shocked expression.

“(Y/n)? You okay? Did he hurt you?” Sam whispered, keeping his words only between you two.

You slowly shook your head but still didn’t respond verbally.

“Okay, okay that’s good. You wanna go get a drink from downstairs? Why don’t we take a breather okay?” Sam suggested softly, big brother mode kicking in at the sight of your frazzled state.

Without another word, you left the room with Sam— missing the devastated look from Bucky.

Steve waited until the door shut, then his attention was back on Bucky.

“Buck, you gotta talk to me man— what happened?” He asked softly, watching his friend slowly relax, but it wasn’t from being in a relaxing mood— his body and mind were just exhausted from the argument.

“I fucked everything up. That’s what happened.” He mumbled, turning away from Steve to sit on the edge of his bed.

Steve followed behind but stood in front of him, shaking his head— ready to argue.

“You didn’t mess anything up, arguments happen. You guys will work it out. I know how much you mean to each other.” Steve pointed out, watching Bucky’s face unchanging.

“You didn’t see the way she looked at me— she’s scared of me I—” He shuttered, his breath shaky as he remembered your look, “I fucking scared her.”

Steve’s chest ached, the state of his friend breaking his heart. He knew Bucky meant no harm, and he almost for a fact knew that you knew that too. But Bucky for sure didn’t believe that himself.

“I didn’t see what you saw, but I can guarantee you that she’s not afraid of you. This is (Y/n) we are talking about. You are her world Buck.” Steve tried to convince him.

Bucky shook his head, running his flesh hand through his hair.

“I think I just need to stay away from her for awhile.” Bucky came up with instead.

Steve immediately started shaking his head, knowing that was the last thing he needed.

“Bucky I—”

“Please Steve… I just need some space.” Bucky pleaded, his body sagging in exhaustion.

Steve couldn’t find it in himself to argue with him anymore about this. Maybe he did need some time to himself, to cool down and gather his thoughts. Also Steve wasn’t going to force him to anything ever. After the years his pal went through— he would never make him do anything. He had enough things decided for him, and Steve wasn’t about to stoop to hydra’s level.

Meanwhile down in the kitchen, Sam was getting you a glass of water— standing across from your seated form at the island. He slid the cup across, sending a worried glance at you.

“(Y/n)?” Sam snapped his fingers getting your attention.

You were shaken from your state of staring, but even snapped out of the trance— the anxieties still swirled within you.

“Yeah sorry… I’m here.” You whispered, grabbing the glass and taking a tiny sip.

Sam gave you a quizzical expression, watching you start to slip back into a mindless stare— so he spoke up.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” He asked, genuinely curious what had went down.

He knew— hell everyone knew you and Bucky were extremely close. Best of friends, always there for one another— dancing on the line of strictly friends to lovers. Truthfully, Sam found it completely obnoxious and just wanted you two together already.

“I don’t really know… I think I said the wrong thing— I didn’t mean to make him upset.” You confessed, keeping your eyes on the countertop, not risking a glance to Sam.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up— mistakes happen. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Sam told you.

You shook your head, gripping the cup tighter.

“God I hope so… I don’t know what I’d do without him.” You whispered pathetically, tears welling in your eyes.

Sam reached out to rub your arm comfortingly, trying to relax you so you didn’t start crying. He hated to see you cry— made his heart hurt.

“It’s been a long day for everyone, why don’t you go head upstairs and get some sleep. I’m sure things will have blown over by tomorrow.” He suggested and you finally met his gaze, smiling weakly and nodding.

Without saying goodbye, you stood up and headed to your room. Taking Sam’s words and playing them on repeat in your head.

Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow would be better.

God had you hoped that was the case— it only was the beginning on the torment.

You had slept in longer than usual, but overall felt refreshed. The first thing that came to mind when fully waking up was Bucky. Immediately you headed downstairs to find him— needing to talk with him— apologize.

Making it down to the kitchen, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in at the sight of him sitting at the island— sipping at his coffee. You furrowed your brows, thinking he'd be done with his coffee by now, since you had slept in. Your chest ached with guilt with the possibility that he didn't sleep well.

You took a deep breath before making yourself known, although you were sure be could sense you in the room— considering he was a super soldier.

"Morning Buck." You announced, walking around the island so you could face him.

He kept his gaze down at his coffee, finding the cup more interesting than you.

Okay, that’s fair. You thought, you most probably deserved that reaction.

“You sleep okay?” You asked again, picking at the skin on your nails nervously.

Again— he didn’t even lift his head. In fact, he wasn’t even acknowledging you. You waited several minutes for a response, the silence becoming thick with tension and you couldn’t stand it.

“Bucky?” You tried, and this time he lifted his head.

Your heart twinged in your chest at his bloodshot eyes, clear evidence that he hadn’t gotten good sleep. You hated yourself for causing him the stress, especially knowing he was just starting to actually get hours of sleep. It was huge progress compared to his nights either screaming awake or just staring at the walls. But now you had to go and ruin all that progress. You felt sick to your stomach— disgusted with yourself.

“I’m really sorry about last night… I didn’t like how ugly it got and I’m sorry if I said something to upset you— you know I’d never intentionally hurt you.” You told him, picking more aggressively at your nails, causing to nail beds to bleed.

You swallowed nervously when he didn’t answer right away, instead staring at you with… what was that? Disgust? You didn’t know, but you hated the look altogether.

“Bucky, please say something.” You pleaded.

Bucky lowered his gaze to his coffee again, taking a minute before he stood up and looked your way.

“I just need some space.” He told you quietly.

You were relived to have him finally talk to you, but to hear him suggest space between you two— you could almost feel the knife digging into your chest. You tried to keep a neutral expression but otherwise felt your bottom lip quiver.

Without giving you time to respond, Bucky was walking out of the room— leaving you standing there speechless, lungs begging for air. You didn’t want your mind to go immediately to that thought, but you couldn’t ignore it either— he hated you.

“Hey babe, I need you to help me out in the lab tod—” Tony came busting into the room, but immediately shut up once he saw your broken expression. “Honey, what’s wrong? You alright?”

You nodded your head, lying to him and yourself and started waving him off with the fakest smile.

“Yeah— yeah I’m good. Just need to uh— need to get some things done.” You told him, your eyes darting all around the room, the familiar feeling of panic seeping into your being.

Tony gave you a ‘really?’ look and stepped closer to you.

“(Y/n) I’m not blind— I can see you’re upset. Talk to m—”

“Seriously Tony— I’m fine! Just leave it alone!” You told him a little too aggressively.

His face was taken back and you felt guilty immediately, cursing yourself for hurting everyone.

Why are you such a fucking issue? Your mind screamed at you.

You didn’t waste another second and sped walked out of the room, needing to calm yourself down before you ran into any one else. You were spiraling and you needed to just relax— take a deep breath. Maybe you just needed one more day and things would be back to normal.

Yeah… just one more day.

You had hoped that was the case as well… but as always— things only got worse.

Bucky refused to talk to you or even look at you. He’d given you the cold shoulder for almost two weeks now. He would get up and leave the second you entered the room. He couldn’t stand you it seemed.

You couldn’t keep hiding your hurt. At first, you had done a good job at hiding how you were really feeling. Saving the sobbing and attacks for when you were alone in your room. As the days lingered on, you found yourself weak and drained— you didn’t have enough energy to put up a charade anymore.

The whole team were sending you worried looks, and attempted to talk with you. But the second they’d try— you’d bolt. The subject was too sensitive, too raw. You didn’t want to talk to anyone but Bucky— and he hated you.

You had missed so many meals, forgetting to eat with your mental struggles throughout the days. You had been getting no more than two hours of sleep. You were so stressed, so stuck in your own mind that you couldn’t function. Even when you had managed to remember to eat, your stomach would knot up to the point that you were throwing everything up. You were gaunt, basically a real life zombie. You needed help— but you needed Bucky more.

You were laying in bed staring unknowingly into space, it had been hard to focus with no food or sleep in your system— so you had only managed to lay here. Even that was exhausting, no matter how much you laid around— your mind wouldn’t stop the assault. Your anxiety had never been this bad, you were a prisoner to it.

Knocking at your door had you jumping, your heart racing— and for a moment you forgot where you were.

You’re in the compound… yeah that’s right.

You slowed your breathing and swung your legs sluggishly over the edge of the bed to answer it. You weren’t prepared for the sudden dizzy spell, your vision spotting with black and white specks. You tried to blink it off, but suddenly you were toppling to the ground.

You fell to the floor with a loud thump, luckily landing on your front, your hands somehow catching most of your fall— you could already feel the throbbing in your palms.

You didn’t hear the persistent knocking, or the door open. You didn’t even hear the voice speaking from the doorway. It was when a hand landed on your shoulder that you were gasping, forgetting your surroundings once again.

Your eyes met Steve’s and you swore your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

“(Y/n) are you alright?” He asked you, hovering his hands over you— not sure what you had hurt.

You furrowed your brows, looking him over.

“Steve what are… what are you doing here?” You asked genuinely confused.

You watched Steve’s eyes widen and he swallowed nervously— his expression growing more concerned.

“(Y/n) it’s okay… I’ve got you.” Steve hushed, and he was pulling you into his chest, hugging you protectively.

You were still confused but then you tasted one of your stray tears, and you immediately came to your senses. You were crying in Steve’s arms… but why? You were having gaps of time missing from you, this wasn’t the first time this had happened— you just didn’t seem to care.

“Steve… my head hurts.” You slurred into his chest, sagging against him.

You were grateful that he was here, you desperately needed someone around. You were just hoping that someone would’ve been Bucky.

“Okay, let’s get you to Helen. She’s gonna take care of you, okay?” Steve asked you, and you could only give a weak nod.

He knew there was no way you were walking there, so he hoisted you up into his arms, and cradled your head as he started to the med bay.

You just stared blankly at his chest, not really caring if Steve were to throw you off the roof of the building. You just didn’t care.

Steve had gotten you down to her, and she checked you out. Alerting Steve that you were extremely malnourished, dehydrated— an insomniac. She kept listing off all the things Steve was afraid to hear. The whole time he was sure you didn’t hear a thing, although you were in the room— you were just checked out.

Helen eventually left, and Steve took his opportunity to speak with you. He pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed and grabbed your hand.

“(Y/n), what’s going on? You can talk to me— you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Please… just talk to me.” Steve whispered, pleading with you that you would stop torturing yourself.

“He hates me.” You mumbled.

Steve’s eyes widened and he frowned, knowing what you meant. He knew he let this go on for too long.

“(Y/n) he doesn’t hate you. He just needed time to himself, so he co—”

“I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, I don’t even know what I said to hurt him but I—” You rushed out, the heart monitor beeping frantically, “I’m a horrible person, I didn’t mean to— I didn’t mean to!”

You wheezed out, clutching your chest as you couldn’t catch your breath. Your cheeks glistened with a steady stream of tears, your wheezing only growing by the second.

“Okay, okay (Y/n)— I need you to slow your breathing. You’re okay, he doesn’t hate you. Just take deep breaths okay— even if you can’t just try. I’m here.” He tried to coach you, but this wasn’t his thing.

Now he was starting to get mad at his friend, Bucky shouldn’t of let this go on for this long.

You followed his chest rising and falling, staring at him as he tried to calm you down. Your breaths were heavy and painful sounding. Steve was about to say something but stopped himself when he saw your eyes look behind him.

He turned and saw Bucky standing in the doorway— his face paled. Truthfully, he looked like he was going to be sick.

“(Y/n)?” He whispered, his heart breaking at your state.

He had ran into Helen in the kitchen and was informed of your condition— he didn’t believe it and had to see for himself. He was shocked to find you like this.

Your tears only edged on from his appearance and you shook your head in shame.

“I’m sorry Bucky! Whatever I did, I’m sorry!” You sobbed and Bucky ran to the bed, kneeling down and taking your hands into his.

“Doll it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here— I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you… I’m sorry.” He rushed out, shushing your cries, watching you slow your breathing at his words. “There we go, just keep breathing with me. I’m here, you’re okay.”

He kept repeating himself, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Steve knew you were in good hands and slowly snuck out of the room— knowing you two needed to talk.

Bucky tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, letting his fingers trail down your cheek to your jaw. You couldn’t help the way your face leaned into his touch, it felt like it had been forever since the last one.

Your breathing had slowed down, and now you just stared up at him— eyes glossy with more tears. You felt so many emotions. You felt relived, but also angry and hurt. Above all— you needed to know what you did to upset him. The guilt still ate away at your heart, and even just the memory of the argument had your chest aching.

“What did I do?” You whispered, making his eyes shoot up to yours, concern painting his face.

“You didn’t do anything.” He told you, and you furrowed your brows.

You were still anxious— he hadn’t answered your question. Even more so— if you didn’t do anything then why did he ignore you?

“Then why?”

“Why what (Y/n)?” He dared to ask, and you scoffed— ripping your hands out of his.

The anger was approaching.

“Why did you shut me out?” You wondered, and he only let his eyes cast down to the bed— making you angrier. “You ignored me for two weeks! Two fucking weeks you just acted as if I didn’t exist! Do you know how much that fucking hurts?”

You were breathing heavy again, but this time it wasn’t from panic— it was the full force of all your anger bursting out.

He lifted his eyes to you, and you saw how broken he looked. How your state had affected him.

“I could never do that to you Buck— I would never do that to you! You’re my everything! I don’t trust anyone as much as I trust you!” You raised your voice, while he stayed silent. “If I didn’t do anything then why would you— why—”

You broke out into a sob, covering your face with your hands. You felt good getting all the built up anger out— but now you felt extremely guilty. The pitiful face of Bucky staring at you, causing your heart to hurt all over again. It didn’t matter what happened, you always ended up hurting others.

“(Y/n) I’m so sorry I— god I fucked up. I didn’t ever mean to hurt you, please know that. You’re my other half, and no one has ever been there for me like you have.” He spoke through a tight throat, swelling with emotion.

You uncovered your face and just stared at him a little longer, still incredibly hurt from his actions— but you knew you couldn’t stay mad at him. You so badly wanted to forgive and forget— and just wrap him in your arms like you both needed.

“It’s hard to explain what’s wrong with me to someone when I don’t even understand what’s wrong with me— I just know I’m fucked up. I’m broken beyond repair.” His voice broke, his own eyes welling with tears.

You didn’t have it in you to keep up an angry facade, and so you reached out and took his hand in yours. His face almost immediately lit up, his breathing slowing at your touch.

“Try me.” You whispered, watching Bucky take a deep breath before he spoke again.

“The night of our fight…” He started, and you swallowed in having to remember that night. “I had never seen you look at me like that.”

You stayed silent, afraid to open your mouth and have a sob escape. You could feel it bubbling up— the memory playing back through your mind.

“You looked at me like you were scared. You looked at me like I was a monster.” He confessed and it all made sense to you now.

It wasn’t about what you said, it was your reaction that disturbed him to no ends. Even if you couldn’t control your reaction in the moment— you still felt guilty for causing him pain of remembering the hydra days.

“Oh Buck…” You whimpered, trying to pull him close— but he pulled away before he could reach your embrace.

“No— you don’t get to be nice to me after what I did. I promised I would never hurt you and I did— you’re in here because of me! I don’t deserve your forgiveness!” He raised his voice, and you weren’t scared of him— just concerned.

“I wasn’t scared of you Bucky, you just caught me off guard. Things were heated— I’m not afraid of you and I most definitely don’t think you’re a monster.” You tried to convince him.

“I really hope you’re not lying because if you were afraid of me… god I don’t know what I’d do. If you never wanted to see me again— that’s fine. Whatever you want, but I can’t live knowing you’re afraid of me.” He whimpered out.

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He nodded his head, knowing damn well you’d never lie. That was one thing he loved about you— you were so honest. Keeping it real with him, even if he didn’t wanna hear it. He could count on you for the truth.

“I still don’t deserve your forgiveness.” He argued.

“Well too bad, I’m forgiving you anyway.” You finally told him and he felt his chest expand.

Like he could finally breath.

“Why?” He wondered.

You knew it was the line you two had been dancing on forever— but you knew if there was ever a time to say it. It was now.

“Because I love you.” You admitted quietly.

His eyes widened just slightly, and his breath stuttered. He had always had a feeling what you two had was more than friends, he just never spoke up about it. Of course he loves you too— god he loves you so much. That’s why the thought of you being scared of him was enough to pull him away. He couldn’t bear being around you if you were frightened by him. He couldn’t live with himself. More importantly he now discovered, he really couldn’t live without you.

“I love you so much.” He confessed back as your tears leaked down your cheeks.

You pulled his arm, and he let you pull him to the bed— close enough where you could cup both his cheeks.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, please. I need you Bucky— life is not livable without you.” You cried, kissing his forehead to which he leaned into your lips.

“Never again— I promise.”

This time, he wouldn’t break it.

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ao3fanfictions · 18 days ago

Text

Through the Haze

As I dragged myself off the Quinjet groaning, I imagined the nap I would take on the couch in the living room. Would I sleep longer, better, and more peacefully in my room in my bed? Absolutely, but that is a farther walk than the couch. The mission I am returning from was a solo and fairly easy trip. Captain needed information about Hydra from one of their rundown, out of use bases. Steve told me it was probably abandoned, but I had to be vigilant in case it wasn’t. It was in fact abandoned and I got everything that Steve had asked for. Case after case, papers stacked all the way up to my chin when I was carrying them out. I also had to retrieve online documents for the team. That took the longest, involving me plugging in a hard drive and walking around the old base for 12 hours. After being awake for 22 hours straight, I was home. I could’ve slept on the way home to the tower, my mind was still on high alert after the mission.

Steve was waiting for me as soon as I got off the jet, standing tall with his arms crossed, a serious look on his face. Uh oh. He’s normally extra friendly once I get back from a mission. Extra nice to me in general to make up for his asshole best friend. Either I messed up real bad or he has very bad news for me. I sigh and walk up to him, determined not to let my own emotions of exhaustion cross my face.

“What’s up Stevie? You have some bad news for me or somethin’” I tried for a joking tone, but his own remained serious.

“I do, Y/n. I know you’ve been away for the past couple days on your own mission, but I need you to deploy again.”

“What why? I haven’t even walked back into the tower yet. What could possibly need to be done so immediately?” I know I’m technically talking to my captain right now, but I’m so tired that I don’t care.

“The team needs you to go back to Russia. There’s another base that we need information about immediately. You leave again today, as soon as the jet has been refueled and resupplied” His words were final, determined, but so were mine.

“Why can’t someone else go? Does it really have to be me alone again?”

“Yes it has to be you. Based on the amount of information that you got on the last mission. You won’t have to go alone though. I’m sending Bucky along with you.”

“No. I’m actually fine to work alone. I don’t need him to come along. I’ll work better by myself than with him.” I was not working alongside him on this “very” important mission. I don’t know why we don’t get along. He’s quiet with the others, but when it comes to me he can’t keep his insults to himself. Not that I’m much better, he knows exactly how to get under my skin. He is gorgeous though, I’ll give him that. All big muscles and dark eyes. And that metal arm… Steve brings me out of my daydream with his reply.

“You aren’t working alone on this mission. On the last mission, the base was abandoned, and had been for some time. The base that we are going to send you next is semi-active, and has a large chance of hostile agents waiting inside. He’s going as your bodyguard. It’ll be faster for you to find the files this way.” There was a finality in his words, but I wasn’t ready to give up. I can’t work with Bucky, I just can’t.

“Then send someone else with me, if you need me to have someone to cover my back.” I suggest. “I’ll be distracted by him. We don’t get along Steve.”

“I know you two don’t get along, but I don’t have a choice. Everyone else has a mission this week except Bucky. The information is vital, Y/n, we need you to retrieve it. Make it work.”

“Why did you have to wait for me to fly all the way back to America just to send me back to the frozen tundra of a country Russia is right now? I haven’t slept for most of that mission and won’t be at my best anyways.” But as I spoke I knew I wouldn’t be able to say no to Steve. Captain thing aside we were still friends, and I knew if he had the option he would send someone else with Bucky.

“Because your jet needs supplies. We’re wasting time Y/n. Go pack your bag and return to the hangar in 30 minutes, I need to go inform Buck of this mission as well”. With that he gave my shoulder a sympathetic squeeze as I yawned, and then turned to go find his friend. I sighed and picked by bag up from where I dropped it down at my feet. Might as well try and fit a shower in before I’m shipped off again.

The hot water relaxed my mind and muscles after my long weekend of work. I can’t sleep properly after a mission without a steamy hot shower, something Bucky always complains about when we have to work together. He claims I use all the hot water and that he can’t stand to hear me talk to myself while I’m in the bathroom. Whatever, screw him and his super soldier hearing. I keep thinking as I scrub my scalp clean about what the mission might hold. It probably won’t be very dangerous, considering Steve decided to only send two people. One bodyguard and one technical genius. We probably won’t even have to stay in a safe house this time, just get the files and get out.

My shower thoughts are interrupted by an aggressive banging on my bedroom door. Alarmed, I turn off the shower and wrap a towel around myself. I leave wet footprints as I walk to the door and my hair is dripping all down my body and the floor. I’m still soaking wet, but the banging is so loud that I panicked. I pull the door open forcefully, stopping the banging knock.

“What?” I said urgently, but my haste fizzled when I saw who was on the other side of the door. Bucky. I can tell he’s surprised by my appearance.

“We’re supposed to leave in 10 minutes. You might want to dry off before then.” His voice is deep and brusk, rushing me. I roll my eyes and open my mouth to reply.

“I’ll be down there when it’s time to go, James.” I’ve never called him Bucky to his face. I know that if I did it, feelings would come with the nickname. Feelings I can’t have for him, because he doesn’t have them for me.

I do hurry though, not wanting to ruin Steve’s mission plan. I towel dry my hair quickly before throwing clothes into a bag. I pack light, we won’t be there long. My hair is still damp as I quickly walk to the hangar, trying to stay on time. When I climb aboard the ship, Bucky who was talking to the captain, looked over to me. He finished his conversation with the pilot and walks over to me. I take a deep breath, getting my mind ready to fire back against him.

“Finally. Now that the princess is onboard we can leave.” He’s mocking me. I take the bait.

“I’m perfectly on time, James. So sorry that my shower inconvenienced you. Will my nap piss you off too? Or would you prefer me to be rested for our mission?” I snap at him.

“You’re two minutes late, actually. And no, I prefer you sleeping. You’re a lot less of a pain when you’re quiet. Even though you snore like a man.” With that, he turns and has the pilot prepare for takeoff, clipping himself into a seatbelt and looking at the wall, thinking I guess.

I roll my eyes and walk to the furthest seat from him, putting my own seatbelt on. I lean my head back against the wall, trying to find the most comfortable angle. The plane ride will be a few hours, I might as well try and catch up on some sleep before we get to the base.

After 15 minutes I give up. Sitting up right won’t work. I look over to Bucky, who’s still lost in thought. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I stand up and stretch, walking in a circle to move my legs. I feel his eyes on me, but he doesn’t say anything and neither do I. Once I’m all stretched out I go back over to my seat, squatting on the floor and fluffing my bag like a pillow. It’s small, but it will be better to rest my head on the bag and sleep on the floor than trying to keep my neck from breaking in the seat. The floor actually isn’t too bad, and I fall asleep almost immediately.

Hours later, I feel the landing gear deploy and I get up and go back to my seat. I check on Bucky again and his eyes are closed. I doubt he’s sleeping, focusing on the mission more likely. I wonder if he’s anxious about going back into a HYDRA base. I know he does missions like this all the time, but I feel bad for him, just a tiny bit. After all he’s been through, I wouldn’t blame him if he couldn’t face it.

I’m starting to feel a little anxious myself now that we’re close to landing. I know I don’t have to be worried though. Bucky and I might not get along personality wise, but our skills compliment each other well on missions, a reason we work with together often. He has incredibly heightened senses and is trained for any situation. With my technological background, I can find any mission plans, classified information, or wanted lists on HYDRA computers, along with great search techniques. I’m trained for field missions too of course, but I am much less skilled than Bucky is, the reason for him being my bodyguard in particular, to pick up my slack. Which is very embarrassing. I don’t want him to look at me like I’m weak, but I am compared to him.

We land, and Bucky immediately gets out of his seat and has his bag in hand, waiting for me. My seatbelt is stuck and it takes me a few seconds to get it unclipped, longer because he is staring at me, and once I have it unclipped I grab my bag, looking at him to lead the way.

“About damn time. Let’s move.” I don’t argue. I’m exhausted, my nap on the way not helping much. I know my place on this mission. Bucky is the lead until we get to the main computer room. Once I get the information he takes the lead again and brings us home. Simple.

Bucky sets a fast pace that I do my best to match. It’s freezing. I’m wearing a special winter suit, which involves a tight under layer with a thick coat and pants over top, my boots large and heavy, thick gloves on my hands; but I’m still so cold. My cheeks and nose are pink with cold and my teeth chatter. There’s inches of snow on the ground and more is falling as we walk. Bucky told me it was a 5 mile hike from where the jet dropped us off to the base. The asshole looks perfectly fine, not a single sign of discomfort from the man at all. He’s barely even wearing layers. Just heavy duty pants and a coat, thin gloves. I bet he’s only wearing a long sleeve under his coat and not a full suit too. Stupid winter solider.

I landed back at the tower in the middle of the night and I haven’t seen daylight at all today, unless you count the barely visible glow, completely throwing off my internal clock. It’s about 1 or 2 in the afternoon, but it’s still dark outside. Bucky said something about winter and it always being dark and blah blah blah. I would really love to see the sun though. Feel its warmth on my face.

After an eternity of walking, we’re on the outside of the base. I’m waiting for Bucky to give me orders, but he’s staring at the building, lost in thought once again. I wave my hand in front of his face, bringing him back to the present.

“Hello. What’s the plan,” I wanted to get this mission over with as soon as possible. He pushes my arm down roughly with his own gloved hand.

“Shut up. I’m thinking. Don’t let your loud mouth get us caught.” I huff, but whisper a reply.

“Steve said this place was abandoned,” My voice is so quiet it’s barely audible over the wind to my own ears, but I know he heard me.

“No, he said it was semi-abandoned. People still work here. I’m trying to determine if anyone is here. It’s hard to listen with your stupidity clogging my senses,” he whispered back.

I roll my eyes and step back away from him. Even though what he said was rude and annoying, I choose to listen to his order and stay as quiet as I can. I watch him concentrate, looking at the sharp lines of his face. I shake my head to clear my thoughts, when I have an idea. If he’s trying to hear voices in the base I need to make even less noise than I already am. I take some steps away from Bucky, giving him space and take a deep breath and hold it. Now I’m truly not making a sound. It’s been about 30 seconds when I see his head suddenly whip around to look at me. It startles me somewhat and I exhale and take a deep breath in, my brain hungry for air.

“You’re allowed to breathe, Y/n.” He gives me a strange look and it makes me feel guilty somehow, foolish too.

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help you.” My voice isn’t a whisper, just small. Very out of character for me. He’s making me feel weird today, subdued. Maybe I’m just too tired to fight.

Bucky nods and waves me closer to him, taking a knee in the snow. I come close and do the same pointing my head down to avoid the icy wind, teeth still chattering.

“Ok, here’s the plan. There’s no one there. Not that I can hear anyway. The room with the files and computer that you need to access is pretty much in the middle of the base. I have the blue prints almost completely memorized, so I’ll lead us there. Once we’re in the room you can do your things and I stand watch over the door. Any questions?” His voice was brusk, but he was giving me that strange look again.

I shook my head no when he asked for questions. Only saying “I’m ready to follow whenever you’re ready,” Quietly in return.

He nodded and began to lead the way. Even though there wasn’t anyone in the building, our heads were on constant swivels, and Bucky kept us out of the line of sight for any camera’s. When we got to the door, it pushed open. It looked heavy, but Bucky opened it with ease. I stayed close but behind him the entire way to the room, neither of us speaking. I yawned frequently behind him as we moved, feelings the heaviness in my eyes start to way on me. I blinked hard as we continued. The base was lit, but barely. Very old and dull lights buzzed on behind us, and there was no heat in the building. Meaning I was still freezing, but at least had shelter from the cold breeze. I could still see my breath in icy clouds out in front of me.

When we got to the room we were looking for, Bucky went to push it open. Unlike the front door, however, this one did not open with a push. Bucky’s and my eyes met for a moment. I opened my mouth to question what we were going to do next, but instead he put a finger to my lips to keep me quiet. Normally, I’d fly off the handle at this, but something in the way he looked at me kept me quiet. I just gave a tired blink and nod instead. Bucky looked back at the door and took a few steps back guiding me behind him with his arm as he did so. He looked at me and pointed at where I was standing, and I again nodded my understanding. He went back to the door and placed his ear against it, listening.

Suddenly he kicked at the door, right by the handle and with an enormous “BANG” the door flew open. My mouth fell open, so much for being quiet. He poked his head in before turning back to look at me. He mouthed the words, “I’m going to check inside. You stay.” I squinted at him while we was talking, but I ultimately understood what he was communicating.

After a few minutes I began to grow more anxious as he looked around inside. I was worried about both of us. What if there really was someone in there and they got to him? What if he needed my help? I couldn’t wait any longer. I stepped inside the room.

It was divided up into multiple rooms. The main room had a huge computer screen, blank right now of course, and multiple other smaller computers around the room with keyboards and monitors. I had just started into another extremely dark room when I felt myself slammed against the wall, my head bouncing off the cement painfully. I tried to scream, to fight back, but my attacker had his hand pressed firmly to my mouth, not letting any sound out. He was definitely a man, huge in stature and had me pinned against the wall effortlessly. I started to panic when the man suddenly let me go, saying my name. My head was pounding.

“Y/n? What the fuck. I told you to stay in the hall. I thought you were a HYDRA agent.” It was Bucky, I think. He was whisper yelling at me, but all I could say in retaliation was a moan of pain.

My hand was on the back of my head, where it had hit the wall, and my legs weren’t too steady under me. This room was so dark I could barely see, with no windows or lights. I felt myself swaying, and I knew I was about to fall. I reached out for Bucky, grabbing a fist full of his coat to steady myself.

“Shit. Are you ok? Y/n?” He was still being very quiet, but his tone had lost the anger after realized that he had hurt me. I didn’t have my bearings fully back yet, still swaying heavily. I felt Bucky’s hands touch me, trying to stabilize me. One hand on my side and one coming up to meet my own on my head. I was breathing heavily, panting almost, trying to ground myself again.

“Y/n, answer me. Are you ok? What hurts?” I know he was trying to help, but that comment pissed me off enough to make me pull myself together. I pushed myself away from him, walking back to the main room where the computer that I need to access is.

“My head hurts, James. Some asshole slammed me into a wall” I said grouchily behind my shoulder, at full volume. No more whispering for me. All the concern was gone from Bucky’s voice in his next reply.

“Well maybe if you would follow orders for once, Y/n, I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I’m a highly trained solider, unlike the other person on this mission.” His voice was equally as loud as my own now, and I knew we needed to be quieter, but I didn’t care. He started this fight.

“Oh please. Without me you wouldn’t even be on this mission. You’re too big of an idiot to get the files we need.” My voice was at a yell now, but his was louder still.

“That’s right, if you weren’t the weakest agent on the team then I wouldn’t have to be here. I could be on an actually useful mission with the rest of my team!” His voice was a boom and his words were painful. Not only to my damaged head, but to my heart too. What he just said only confirms that he doesn’t respect me as a fellow teammate at all. My mouth was open, ready to keep shouting at him in the dark, when a wailing siren came on, making my head explode.

“Shit” we say in unison. Understanding that we have just been caught, we run back to the main room and out of the darkness.

“Are there anymore entrances to these rooms besides the door?” I have to yell for Bucky to hear me as he slams the open door closed and locks it.

“No. But you need to hurry and get the files downloaded so I can fight the agents off.” He pulls out a huge gun that was strapped to his back and all I do it nod. I feel horrible. I’m beyond exhausted, having no substantial sleep for over 30 hours, my head is going to pound out of my body, and now I have to find all these damn files Steve needs before Bucky and I get shot to death.

I scramble to the computer moving as fast as I can in my condition. I plug in the hard drive I brought into the computer as I search for all the needed documents. I hear pounding footsteps getting closer and closer to the room we’re in and I’m really starting to panic now. I select the files that need to be downloaded and wait for them to fully process.

“Can’t you move any fucking faster! I would like to live to see tomorrow,” Buck’y shouting at me, but all I can do is wait for the things to download. My breathing is starting to quicken rapidly when some sort of gas is sprayed throughout the room throughout the vents.

When the gas hits my nose and fills my lungs it burns like fire, no not fire, like chemicals. I cough furiously, tears streaming down my cheeks from the raw force my coughing fit has on my body. Bucky is fine though, unaffected by the gas completely. He comes to my side and takes a hard look at me. He makes a decision I guess cause he points at the computer and says, “I’ll fight the agents, as soon as this is done come to the door. Understand?”

All I can do is nod, still fighting for air. Bucky goes over to the door and opens it, just enough to shoot the agents coming after us. By the amount of shots he fires, I’m guessing there has to be around a dozen of them out there. By the time I finally get my coughing under control, the files are ready. I put the hard drive in my breast pocket and zip it tightly. The pocket is on my inner most layer, so I’m not worried about it.

I get to the door by Bucky, letting him know we’re ready. He nods at me and fires a couple more shots before saying, “I swear to God, Y/n, if you want to get out of this building you better do exactly what I say.” I nod at him and pull out my own gun, a very small one compared to his, but it’s what I’m trained to use, and I can use it well.

I stick close behind him, more vigilant than ever. Bucky pears around the corner of the hallway that we need to walk down and I watch the hallway behind us, waiting for his signal. My head still hurts, but I’m focusing so hard on escaping that I barely notice the pain anymore. Bucky deems the hallway clear and we continue running. This pattern continues as we race for the exit, moving as fast as we can while still being careful. At the last hallway corner we had to use as cover, Bucky puts his arm out, stopping me from continuing forwards.

“What?” I mouth to him. Even though we’ve been found out, I want to remain as quiet as possible. Bucky doesn’t like to be loud on missions. But Bucky isn’t looking at me, he’s watching someone else. I hear voices down the hall, loud voices actually. I can’t understand what they’re saying, but it looks like Bucky can. Duh, he’s been imprisioned by these people, of course he speaks Russian.

Bucky pops out form behind the corner and shoots, killing the few men before they can return fire. He waves me forwards, and we begin running again. My feet are so heavy in these damn winter boots and my legs feel like jelly from the lack of rest. I don’t want to keep going. We better not have to run all five miles back to the fucking jet after this. We would have been out the door already if I had been paying attention, maybe not safe, but at least out of the base.

I tripped on one of the dead men’s bodies. My boot getting caught in the crook of his elbow, and I fall. I crash really, down to the floor. Bucky whips around, thinking another threat has appeared. Nope, just myself potentially getting us caught. Bucky backtracks to help me to my feet when a line of bullets hits the walls around us.

Moving faster than me, Bucky yanks me up by the upper arm and pushing me in front of him, yelling at me to run. I’m still looking at him when the bullet comes wizzing towards me. He blocks it with his metal arm, and the clang of metal on metal is loud in my ringing ears. Bucky pushes me again, yelling at me to run. And I do. I run as fast as I can, praying the bullets don’t make contact with my skin.

I push through the front door we entered through, and I’m relieved to see there isn’t a mob of agents waiting for us. Just one startled guard who I shoot before he fully raises his gun. Bucky is right on my heals and I turn to him, waiting for him to lead the way. I am unsure where to head next, having lost my bearings while inside the base.

Whipping his head around, Bucky regained his bearings. He picks a direction and begins to run. I follow behind him, remaining as close to his form as I can, as we run my heart is pounding, my ears are ringing, this mission escalated so quickly. I just hope Bucky knows where he’s going.

we run for miles. My breath is short and labored. I’m starting to fall behind Bucky. I need to rest. I need to stop and get my mind back in order. There is a large stitch in my side, bringing me to a stop. I lean over, resting my hands on my knees as I bend down to catch my breath. Bucky stops as well, turning to face me.

“Please James, I need to take a break.” My voice is small, gone is any fight. Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Fine. I need to get in touch with Steve anyway. Stay put.” He walks a few paces away, leaving me to catch my breath alone. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but based on Bucky’s body language the conversation isn’t going well. He ends his phone conversation and walks back towards me.

“The jet can’t pick us up for another 12 hours at the least.”

“What? Why not?” This day just keeps finding new ways to be terrible.

“They’re still on their mission, and with the terrain of our area other jets cannot land,” I sighed.

“So we’re just going to sit out here and die?” I spread my arms out, gesturing to the snow packed earth around me.

“Yes, Y/n. They sent two very valuable agents out on an extremely important mission just to let them die out in the forest.” His voice was thick with sarcasm, making me annoyed. I understand where he’s coming from but I just wish he wasn’t such an ass. I roll my eyes and continue,

“So what are we supposed to do then?”

“There’s a bunker we can stay in for the time being. It’s a far walk, but it’s warm and there’s a shower. We’re limited for options right now.”

“Ugh. 10 miles will take us hours to walk.” My voice hitched in my throat. This was too much, too much walking, too much fighting. I can’t keep going.

Bucky’s face softened for just a moment. “I know. But we don’t have anywhere else to go. Come on.”

We walked, and walked, and walked. My mind was separate for my body. My feet were dragging, barely clearing the deep snow. I was bone tired. I wasn’t cold anymore, the opposite really. My face was hot and I was beginning to sweat under my layers.

Bucky stopped suddenly and I ran right into the back of him. He whipped around to look at me, angry. I apologized in a small voice. He shook his head annoyed, and then bent down to push away snow from the ground. He revealed a heavy trap door with all types of locks with various methods to prove your identity as an Avenger.

The door eventually swung open and Bucky held it open for me. I looked up at him tiredly before lowering myself down into the bunker. It wasn’t very warm, but my body was too hot to notice. While Bucky was lowering himself down and locking the door, I looked around the bunker. It was extremely small. There was a couch, old and covered in a soft cloth fabric that faced the “kitchen” which was basically just a counter with a sink and cabinets. There will be no hot meals here. There was one bedroom and one bathroom. The bathroom was barely large enough to house the toilet, sink, and shower. The bedroom wasn’t much larger, only holding a queen bed and a tiny closet with extra blankets and supplies.

I walked back into the main room to find Bucky heading towards the bathroom, a towel slug over his arm.

“Stop right there. Why do you get to take the first shower?” I did not walk all the way just to let him go first.

“Because you take years to shower, use all the hot water, and I worked hardest during the mission.” He didn’t stop walking.

“You did not. I’m the one who go all the information. All you did was shoot your gun.” This might be a bad fight to pick, but I’m practically delusional with exhaustion.

“Only shot my gun? I’m the reason the weakest Avenger is still fucking alive. I ruined my arm taking that bullet for you and I regret it. I should have let that bullet slice through you and saved my arm.” He slammed the bathroom door after his words, and I flinched at the sound. Ouch.

That was too far, and I felt myself shutting down into myself. I was too tired to think of how to get back at Bucky after his shower. I sat down on the plush sofa, sinking into its cushions. I feel too warm, even stripped of my large outter layers and just staying in the longsleeve bodysuit that was my base layer. I think I feel a cold coming on. That’s the only explanation of warm skin despite my chills. I had only been on the couch for a few minutes, but my eyes began to droop.

I was awaken by a towel hitting my face, making me jump up to a sitting position. I heard Bucky’s chuckle as he walked into the bedroom. Guess it’s my turn to shower. I rise slowly, feeling the room spin around me.

I decided to have a cold shower despite the cold air in the bunker. My skin was too warm and I wished I had different clothes to put on after my shower. Something not as hot as my bodysuit. I had tied my hair up to avoid getting it wet, cold air and wet hair would never dry. I had zoned out for who knows how long while washing myself off. I should get out before Bucky interrupts my shower like this morning. I’m starting to feel less stable on my feet anyways.

I turn off the water and pull back the curtain. I reach for the towel that Bucky threw at me and dry myself off. I start to climb out of the shower when my foot landed on a small puddle of water, likely from Bucky’s own shower. My foot slipped out from me and I came crashing down to the tiled bathroom floor, my already injured head hitting down hard.

I couldn’t move. I was still trying to catch my breath and my bearings. My hand holding the back of my head while my mouth made unconnected sounds of pain, calling for help. I forgot that Bucky was the only one here, my reminder being his voice on the other side of the bathroom door. He was knocking, calling to me I think

“Y/n? Y/n are you ok? What happened?” He sounded worried, and I tried to respond to ease his mind. I need to tell him I’m ok so I can get my naked body off the floor myself.

But instead of telling him I was ok and to go away, I started crying. Overwhelmed by the day’s events and the pain that I was in, my spirit broke. I was able to half sit, wrapping the towel around me best I could. My hair had fallen out of the loose bun and now sat limp around my face. Talking through my sobs, I called out to him.

“Bucky, please. I need your help,” I don’t know how he understood what I was saying, my words muddled from my cries. I didn’t even notice I called him by his nickname, something I had never done before.

I forgot that I had locked the bathroom door, and I couldn’t reach the lock. I couldn’t hear what he was saying to me. The door handle was ripped out of the door, allowing Buck’y hand to unlock the top lock to let himself in. When his body appeared in the doorway, his eyes widened seeing me on the floor. He crouched down to my level and reached out to touch my head.

“Doll? What happened?” His voice was low, his eyes locked on mine. I had to take several deep breaths before I could answer him.

“I slipped getting out and I hit my head again, Buck. I don’t think I can stand on my own. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry you had to come in here but I can’t get out on my own,” My crying continued, unable to stop. My head was thick with pain and my skin was still too hot, even after my cool shower.

“Shh, it’s ok Y/n. I’ve got you now. You don’t have to be sorry, doll.” He moved his hand from my head and wrapped me up into his arms, lifting me while he stood from the floor. His metal arm was cold against my skin, bringing relief instantly. Being held close to his chest, resting the side of my face on his heart calmed me. My cries subsided as we walked from the bathroom into the bedroom.

He laid me down gently on the bed, pulling the sheet up to cover my body. He rested his flesh hand on my forehead and then moved it down to the side of my neck.

“Is your skin normally this hot, Y/n?” He sounded concerned, which doesn’t seem like a good sign for me.

“No, I’m normally always cold,” My reply was only a whisper. My eyes began to open slower, my body completely spent.

“Stay awake just for a minute for me, doll. Let me take your temperature and then you can rest, ok?” His voice was still low and gentle, not at all like he normally talks to me. All I could do to reply was nod.

He wasn’t gone long, back with a little thermometer in his hand. He looked down at the tiny plastic tech and pressed some buttons before bringing it to my lips. I obediently opened my mouth and let it sit under my tongue. This interaction might have been awkward if my eyes were open, if I wasn’t so tired and hurt. But right now I didn’t care at all, letting him take care of me.

The thermometer left my mouth and I heard Bucky gasp. It was enough of a reaction to make me open my eyes and look up at him. He was staring down at the thermometer, mouth slightly open.

“What is it?” I whisper up at him.

“You have a fever, but it doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand how your temperature could have risen this much without you collapsing until now.” He had his thinking face on, and it worried me.

“How high is it? 99 degrees?” I was hoping that he was just being dramatic and this was a “large” rise in temperature to him.

“No. It’s 102 degrees. You can sleep now, doll. I need to call Steve again. See if he can get us out of here any faster so we can get you some help.” His hand rose up to touch my hair, brushing it out of my face. The movement was comforting and it relaxed me.

Bucky was only worried because he’s a super soilder and I’m not. The fever most likely won’t get any worse anyways. Steve will probably come right away too, hearing about my condition. If Bucky doesn’t think it’s life threatening then I don’t either. I just need some medicine and some rest and I’ll be just fine.

With the comfort that Bucky’s care has given me, I close my eyes again. He leaves after a moment and I hear the door close behind him. I drift off almost instantly.

CHAPTER 2:

Bucky POV:

I paced around the small living room, the mission phone pressed against my ear.

“Come on Steve, pick up the phone.” I was talking to myself, waiting for the line to be picked up.

I heard the line click and I felt a pressure leave my chest.

“Hello?” Steve’s voice was hesitant.

“Steve. You need to pick us up now. Y/n’s sick, she’s got a fever and she needs real medicine.” My words were rushed, racing to make my point.

“What do you mean she has a fever? We can’t send the jet, Buck.” Now I understood his hesitancy.

“She’s burning up, her temperature is 102 degrees. We need to get out of here before she gets worse.” Steve isn’t listening. Y/n needs help.

“God. I’m sorry Buck, but the jet got pretty banged up. The mission today wasn’t successful and the jet can’t take another trip. Especially all the way to Russia,” Shit.

“Send something else then. Do you think I’m playing with you Steve?” I was starting to get heated. I need him to help her.

“We talked about this earlier, Buck. No other jet we have can handle the terrain.”

“How long will it take for the jet to be fixed then?”

“5 days at least.” I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fuck Steve! Can’t you at least try something? Who knows what her condition be in 5 days.”

“There’s nothing that I can do! Do you think I want to leave her either?”

“What am I supposed to do? I can’t take care of her without fever pills,” My voice was loosing its anger.

Steve let out a heavy sigh before answering, “Do your best to keep her cool. She won’t want to eat, but you gotta make her, Buck. Call again if she gets any worse. I’ll talk to Bruce and see if he knows anything else you can do.”

“Alright. I need to go check on her then.”

“Before you go, were you guys able to get the information from the base?”

“So you can’t get us out of here, but you can receive our mission data?”

“That information is vital Bucky. That’s the whole reason we sent you two so urgently.”

“Whatever, Steve. I’ll send you the fucking files.”

With my last words to Steve, I hung up. The audacity of him to give me zero information to help Y/n but still have good enough resources to get their data. I sighed and put the mission phone on the table by the sofa, walking towards the bedroom where I had left Y/n. I slowly turned the door knob, quietly pushing the door open.

I know she is sleeping; I can hear the difference in her breathing pattern. I walked into the room and grabbed her undersuit from the pile of clothes I left on the floor. I felt around in the pockets until I found the little hard drive with the files on it. I held it up to the light, looking at how small it was. What could possibly be on this for the mission to be so important? Before leaving the room I searched in the closet, looking for any spare bedding for the couch. All I came up with was a tattered blanket, but it would serve my needs.

After my shower I had found a blank long sleeve t-shirt and cotton pants. The shirt was a little small, but the pants fit well enough. I didn’t find any women’s clothes, but I doubt Y/n would want to overheat anymore than she is right now.

I turned to leave the room, Y/n’s rustling in the bed stopping me in my tracks. I watched her face as her expression showed one of discomfort. She started to breathe heavier and her hands grabbed at the sheet covering her naked body. The sheet was the only thing thin enough to keep her covered but not overheat her. The sheet clung to her body, outlining her perfectly. I would be lying if I said she wasn’t beautiful…

Shaking the thought from my head I walked out of the room. There was a tiny computer in the corner of the “living room”. I logged into the Avengers software with my credentials and plugged the hard drive in the back of the computer. I typed away at the computer, trying to find a way to send over the data from my shitbox to the tower. Curses left my mouth freely as I worked. I was hunched over the computer when I finally found the right button and clicked it before heading towards the bedroom.

I checked a clock on the wall, settling down on the couch. It was 10:42pm. I’m beat, I’m sure Y/n could sleep for days if she was comfortable enough to. I laid down, closing my eyes and reflecting on the mission and all the events that happened afterwards.

I was awoken by the hatch door of the bunker being unlocked. All the lights were off and the only thing lighting the space was the moonlight that the door let in. I rose from my bed on the couch and walked towards the now open trap door. The air blowing in was icy cold, and I could see my breaths. I assumed that Steve was able to get a jet out here after all and didn’t call before he came to get us. My head was still thick with sleep, my senses dulled.

“Hey, who’s up there? Steve?” I called out the dark figure climbing down the latter.

“Не��” The voice was deep and horse. My eyes widened and I moved to fight the invader.

Two men who I didn’t hear or see come in jumped onto me from behind. One crushed my metal arm under his boot and the other seated himself on my back, keeping me to the floor. More men came piling down the latter, holding me down. I couldn’t fight back, I was completely trapped under them. I struggled, managing to kick one in the face before my legs were tied together. My flesh arm was pinned down alone, my metal arm completely destroyed. I heard the men laughing when the one who spoke to me in Russian crouched down in front of me.

I don’t know how Y/n isn’t awake. I haven’t heard a peep from her. These men obviously know English, the Russian was just to startle me, to take me off guard.

“What do you want? The hard drive? Well you bastards are too late, I already sent the information to the other Avengers.” I spit out at the man. The group just continued to laugh.

“We came for your little teammate. She is quite knowledgable on how to get our information. We’re here to make sure she doesn’t ruin anymore plans for us.” I struggled harder. They only came here to kill her. I’m supposed to be protecting her, it’s the whole reason I was sent on this damn mission. I’m supposed to be watching over her and I let them get the slip on me.

Men started walking towards the bedroom where Y/n was resting. Where I told her she was safe.

“No. Stop, please. I’ll give you anything you want, just don’t hurt her. Take me instead! Please!” I know my voice was desperate, but so was I. They couldn’t kill her. She’s my mission. 90% of the missions the Avengers have assigned me since she joined the team was to protect her. She’s my partner. Every fight I’ve ever picked with her is running through my mind, all the terrible things we’ve said to each other. But even then I’ve never failed to protect her like I have now.

They opened the bedroom door and I lost it. I tried everything to uproot the men holding me down, determined to save her. I yelled out to her, “Y/n! Y/n you have to run! Get out of here!” But it was too late, and everyone in the bunker knew it.

I heard her screaming. She was begging for her life. Worst of all, she was begging for me to come save her.

“Bucky! Bucky please!” Her voice was thick with pain, sobs breaking through the silence of the night. Her screams were high and piercing, running through me like an electric shock.

I heard a gun go off. I fell limp under the men. Tears stinging my own eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. So so sorry,” I heard the footsteps of the men approaching, hearing a dragging sound along with the steps.

The men got off me, retreating to the latter and climbing out into the night. Their leader threw Y/n’s lifeless body down in front of me before he followed his men outside. They didn’t close the hatch, letting the moonlight illuminate Y/n’s blood, still seeping from her body.

I woke up gasping for air, my chest heaving. There was sweat beads collecting on my forehead and tear tracks down my cheeks. I take in my surroundings, checking around the room for any shadows or unfamiliar sounds. I’ve had nightmares since day one of becoming HYDRA’s lab rat. I’ve never had a nightmare like that though. So real and convincing. I really thought I just lost her.

Just as I was pulling myself together, I heard her voice call out to me. Her tone sent chills down my spine.

“Buck? Are you out there?” Her voice was so small, even from the other side of the wall. I immediately stood and walked over to the bedroom. When I opened the door she was sitting up in bed, holding the sheet against herself.

I’m still not used to her calling me that. Not that I mind; quite the opposite. Deep down it always hurt me that she wouldn’t call me by my nickname and always James. Calling her doll came out of nowhere too, a word I haven’t called anyone in this new life. She is a doll though, beautiful as she is.

“Yes, doll? Why aren’t you sleeping?” She looked exhausted. Deep purple bags under her eyes and sagging shoulders.

“I’m too hot to sleep, which has to be some sort of punishment because I haven’t slept longer than a couple hours for days.” That comment made me feel sorry for her. She’s just a regular human, no powers to give her abilities to go without as much sleep like me or the other team members. The only sleep she got between missions was what she got the nap on the way over to the mission.

“I’m sorry. Can I get you something to sleep?” I have no idea how to take care of a sick person. Especially a sick person that I always fight with.

“No. Thank you though. Did you find out how long until Steve gets us out of here? I don’t want to complain, but I really don’t feel good Buck.” Her eyes were closed when she spoke, showing her obvious fatigue. She doesn’t want to complain. More like she doesn’t want me to get upset and yell at her. I feel like such an ass.

“I’m sorry your fever is so high, doll. I have bad news though. Steve said he can’t get us for at least another 5 days,” Her eyes flew open and her face showed how distraught she was at the news.

“What do you mean he’s not coming for almost a week? How am I going to get any better?” Her voice hitched in her throat and I knew the tears were coming.

I sat on the corner of the bed and rested by hand on her leg, trying to comfort her.

“Hey, hey. It’s going to be ok. I’m going to take care of you while we’re in here, ok?” She gave a small nod.

“What if I get worse, Buck?” She sounded so scared. Not like her normal self at all. It stirred something up in me. We have never gotten along, but I have never disliked her. I don’t know why I acted the way that I did in the past towards her, but it ends now.

“You’re not going to get any worse, sweetheart, I’ve got you.” Her face was lit only by the candle, the shadow on her face highlighting the tears on her face.

“I’ll be here watching over you until we get rescued. I won’t let anything bad happen to you doll, I promise.” I continued to rub soothing circles into her leg.

“Ok Bucky. Thank you.” She yawned big and laid back down, moving around until she was comfortable. I stood to leave, but she grabbed onto my arm.

She spoke in a whisper, “Could you stay? Just till I fall asleep?” I melted back onto my seat next to her on the bed.

“Of course I will.”

The rhythmic sounds of her breathing calmed me after my dream. I stayed by her side much longer after she fell asleep.

DAY 1:

I never went back to sleep after the dream that plagued my mind last night. Instead I searched the entire bunker for things that might help Y/n. There wasn’t much to find, not that I was surprised. The two things I wanted to find most was any type of fever medicine and a food type that Y/n would be able to keep down.

In the bathroom there was a small, ill supplied first aid kit. Honestly, if you had anything more life threatening than a cold this kit wouldn’t be much help. There were some over the counter fever pills in there, however. The cabinet that held all the food wasn’t very promising either. It was filled with mostly with varied dehydrated foods. There were a couple of cans of chicken broth, which Y/n should be well enough to eat. But considering there isn’t a stove in the bunker she probably won’t find it very appealing.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the creaking of the door to the bedroom. Y/n poked her head out of the room, eyes scanning the room. Looking for me I think. She was also dressed in the mens clothes that were in the closet, they fit too loose around her body. Her lips raised slightly at the corners when our eyes locked.

“Good morning, Bucky” She fully opened the door and slowly walked towards the sofa. When she plopped down I could tell that she was tired, even though the distance she moved wasn’t far.

“How are you feelings this morning doll?” I kept looking around the pantry, not because I thought I would find anything else, but to give myself something to do.

“I feel better rested today than I did yesterday. I still feel too hot though. I don’t think my fever has broken yet.” This caused me to turn around and look at her. She did look less tired, but still worn out. I walked over to her and put my flesh hand against her forehead. She continued talking while I went to retrieve the thermometer.

“I’m surprised Steve didn’t have the work on the jet expedited when you told him I was sick,” She sounded disappointed that Steve didn’t come to her rescue. I’m honestly pretty disappointed myself.

I held out the termometer to her and she silently opened her mouth and let the machine sit there while I talked.

“He said he would try his best. I don’t expect him to be able to get it fixed much faster,” I was so focused on getting her new temperature that my attention wasn’t really on our conversation. I was secretly praying that her temperature didn’t rise last night. I knew that was a fool’s wish though. I could tell just by touching her that she has gotten worse.

When the machine beeped I pulled it gently from her mouth. I kept the number hidden from her and checked, expecting it to be no more than 1 degree higher than yesterday. It was much worse than that. Her fever changed from 102 degrees to 104.96 over night. I felt her eyes looking up at me, and I knew she knew it was bad just from my face.

“How bad is it, Buck?” I could tell by her tone that she was nervous to hear.

“I’m not going to lie to you doll, it’s not good.” I showed her the screen of the thermometer and she gasped.

“I feel hot, but I didn’t think I was that hot.”

“It’s a miracle you were able to get yourself out of the bed and dressed by yourself. Are you hungry? Thirsty maybe?”

“Can I have a glass of water please?” It was so odd not to be fighting with her. Even more odd for her to let me help her.

“Of course you can, doll.” I grab a cup from a cabinet and fill it with tap water. I feel her eyes on me as I move around the kitchenette. I hold out the water to her with my flesh hand. Our fingers brush together briefly and I feel the unnatural warmth of her skin against mine.

“Thanks Buck.” She gulps down the water quickly.

“What about food? There’s some broth I can get you? I don’t have a way to heat it up though.” Not that she would want anything hot anyways.

“No I’m ok, the last thing I want to do is eat right now.” I nod, expecting her answer.

I sit next to her on the sofa awkwardly. I don’t know what to say next. There’s no entertainment in the bunker at all. Nothing to occupy our time with. The only thing interesting that I’ve found in the entire place is a deck of playing cards. I don’t have the slightest clue if Y/n even likes to play cards.

I heard her sigh heavily and look over to her. She’s reaching for the deck and beginning to shuffle the cards together.

“Do you know how to play Blackjack?” She slowly turns her body to face me on the sofa, criss crossing her legs under herself.

This question brings a smile to my face. Despite all the memories that I was forced to forgot by Hydra, playing Blackjack with my old buddies in the military stays locked inside my head.

“Of course I can play, doll. I think you forget just how old I really am,” When I looked up at her my breath got caught in my throat. She had the widest grin on her face. I’ve never been privileged enough to be the recipient of her smiles though. It was such an amazing sight.

Y/n dealt out the cards and we began our game. We had nothing to bid but bragging rights. She was pretty good too, but not as good as I was. We played our game for hours, and when that became boring we moved onto another game. This was officially the most normal thing that we’ve done with each other.

We stayed on the sofa for so long that I was able to forget the circumstances of our stay. I was reminded however when I looked up at the wall clock and noticed the time. It was 6pm and we still had no word from Steve. With the mission phone being half full with battery it is best not to use it unless there is an emergency, but I would have thought Steve would call to hear about Y/n’s condition.

“Ok doll, last round and then we have to eat something,” I was looking at my cards when I noticed her reaction.

“I’m still not hungry, Buck. Can’t I skip eating?” Her eyes got so big when she wanted her way.

“No can do, Steve ordered me to make sure you’re fed while we’re in here.” I flipped over my card to show my 21. Y/n sighed heavily and threw her 19 down over my cards.

I got up from the couch and put out my hand to help her off the sofa. Our reality came crashing down around me when Y/n took my hand to pull herself up. We’re not bonding as teammates waiting for our captain to get us home. We’re two teammates who never get along trying to survive the bitter elements until rescued, one of whom is gravely ill.

Y/n is at her full hight when her knees buckle. It was lucky I waited for her before going to the kitchen. I wrapped my arms around her and kept her from hitting the floor. She was burning up against me, hands clutching at my shirt for dear life.

“Woah woah. What happened, doll?” I spoke softly to her. Her gaze was flying everywhere around the room.

“My vision just got super spotty. I-“ Her speaking pattern was irregular and she held onto me harder.

“It’s ok, Y/n. I think we just overdid it for today. Let’s get you back to the bedroom.” All she could do in reply was nod. I adjusted my hold on her and lifted her into my arms.

I carry Y/n all the time. She often needs the help after a tough mission due to ankle and foot injuries.

“I just- I think I just got up too quickly. Sorry Bucky, I feel like you just have to keep holding me steady this whole mission,” She tries to pull away, to stand on her own. I don’t let her though.

“Whatever,” Is all I say in reply to her before scooping her up into my arms. I might be a super soldier, but she really is an easy person to carry. She automatically wraps her arm around my neck, leaning closer to me.

“Thanks. I could have walked on my own though,” This woman. She always has to argue about something or other with me.

“You’re done walking. I’m officially putting you on bed rest, doll.” Watching her wobble around makes me nervous. Especially when there’s no reason for her to walk anyways.

“Don’t walk alone at least,” I offer. I understand she still needs to go use the restroom while we’re stuck here.

“Ok deal,”. She helps me push open the door to the bedroom and I set her on the bed. She fixes the pillows to allow her to sit upright comfortably.

“Alright, Y/n. I know you say you’re not hungry but I’m going full nurse mode. If you want to feel the best you can in your current state then you have to listen to me,”

“Gosh. You’re so bossy, but I understand.” She rolled her eyes “playfully” while I turned around and headed back into the kitchen area to prepare a meal for her.

There’s only a few cans of the chicken broth, so I decide to save it incase she gets any worse. I know the dried meat strips are going to be a definite no without even asking. I settle on the dehydrated fruits. There’s a good amount and a decent variety. If her picky ass is going to eat something today I think it’s safe to bet this is what she’ll choose. I go ahead and bring her a glass of water from the tap also.

When I get back to the bedroom I notice that the pants Y/n was previously wearing lay in a rumple at the floor. The bedsheet is pulled up, covering her from the waist down. I feel my own neck started to heat up at the thought of what she’s covering up when I give my head a slight shake. This is no way to think about my sick teammate.

I sit in the bed next to her and hold up the packages of fruit to her, along with 2 of the fever pills. She just gives the pills a look for a long moment before reaching for them and swallowing the white pills with a gulp of water. For her dinner, she chooses the bananas. I secretly win a bet with myself. I eat the meat strips and we sit there in silence during the “meal”.

“Bucky?”

“Yes Y/n?”

“I don’t feel good,” I turned to look at her, and she didn’t look good either. Her skin was tinted pink and I could see the discomfort in her breathing.

“Oh doll, I’m sorry. Let’s get you to sleep, ok?” I stood up from my place on the bed and collected the wrappers from our dinner. I throw them away in the main living area of the bunker and when I return Y/n is naked under the bedsheet. She must feel miserable.

“Can I get you anything else?”

All I get in reply is a slow shake of the head, “Thank you for taking care of me. I’m sure I’ll be back to normal tomorrow and you won’t have to look after me anymore,” Her eyes were closed and she turned to her side, shifting around until she was comfortable.

“I’ll always take care of you, Y/n”. All she could to in response was hum, before sleep took her over.

I sighed when closing the bedroom door. She was making me so nervous, a feeling I’m not often accustomed to with her. Y/n is always so tough and she never lets me take care of her.

I wanted Steve to call me with answers for everything. I want to know what brought on this sickness. I want to know how he’s going to get us out of here and help Y/n. My mind wondered on the possibilities for what caused her illness while I was in the shower. I was replaying the mission on repeat in my head, thinking of everything we encountered.

I don’t think her hitting her head would have caused these symptoms. Well not the fever symptom, the head pains were definitely caused from her head smacking the wall. I feel so guilty for causing her pain. I wish we never came on this stupid mission. I’m angry that the rest of the team got to go on a group mission and Y/n and I had to go on this one instead.

If we had been with the group we would’ve had a failed mission of course, but I’d argue that a failed mission would be much better than being stuck in an underground bunker. Stuck with a sick person you can't help, who is getting worse.

I got out of the shower, having no new ideas on how to help Y/n. I dried myself off and changed into dry clothes. When I checked the phone after leaving the bathroom I had zero new messages or missed phone calls. It felt like Steve wasn’t even trying to help us. I cleaned up the playing cards from Y/n and I’s game earlier before sitting myself back down on the couch.

I was lying down, looking up at the ceiling. All the lights were off but my mind was too busy thinking to sleep. Too busy worrying about Y/n and too busy reliving my dream from last night. Eventually my eyes grew heavy and I slipped into a dreamless sleep.

DAY 2:

I was awoken suddenly by Y/n bursting out of her room and running towards the bathroom, hand covering her mouth. I frantically threw the covers off of my body and ran in after her, tripping over myself in my haste. She was bent over the toilet, throwing up violently. The only thing she was wearing was the over sized T-shirt from yesterday. The shirt was big on her yes, but I could see everything waist down when the material moved up as her legs moved.

I quickly pulled back her hair from her face and rubbed circles into her back as she was sick over and over.

“It’s going to be ok, Y/n. You’re going to be ok.” I don’t know how anything else could come up. She barely ate anything yesterday.

When Y/n was done being sick she shakily stood up to her feet and walked over to the sink. I had my arms out for her to use as balance, and she did so gratefully. I looked at her reflection in the mirror as she cleaned her teeth. Her skin was definitely red and I could see the dark spots in the T-shirt where she had overheated and began to sweat.

Y/n was leaning heavily on the counter when she looked up at me.

“Sorry to give you such a startling wake up call,” Her voice was raspy from sleep and there were still huge dark circles under her eyes.

“Don’t apologize. Let’s get you back to bed, doll,” She gave a nod and turned around to face me. To my surprise she simply lifted her arms out, waiting for me to carry her. She never just lets me pick her up, another indication of how bad she was really feeling.

“What if I didn’t want to carry you back to the room? Rude of you to assume don’t you think?” I was just teasing her, I asked my question while lifting her from the ground carefully. I pulled her close to my chest and she hummed in pleasure when my metal arm touched her sizzling skin.

“I knew you would, Buck. You always carry me when I’m hurting.” When I laid her back down in her bed I turned around respectfully to allow her to undress herself.

“I guess you know me better than I thought, Y/n” After a couple minutes I turned around placing my hand against her forehead to feel how much hotter she’s gotten overnight. It’s a shocking temperature difference. I sigh and pull my hand away.

All Y/n does to acknowledge my words is nod. Her eyes have already closed again and I know I’m going to lose her to sleep soon.

“You can’t fall asleep yet, doll. I need to doctor you up first. She just nods again at me.” I leave her room and walk to the kitchen, reaching for the broth instead of the fruit. I grab more fever pills for good measure.

I already know she isn’t going to want to drink this. I’ll have to practically beg her for every sip she takes. Before returning to her room I also fill her water cup, knowing that will be another battle.

When I’m back in Y/n’s room she is lying on the bed on her back. Her eyes are closed and I’m worried that she’s fallen asleep before I can make her eat and drink. To my surprise, however, her eyes slowly open back up at the sound of me approaching her bedside. When I sit on the side of her bed, she tries to sit up and adjust herself, grimacing.

"What hurts, doll?" I ask her. I busy myself with finishing the preparation of her dinner to avoid making eye contact with her while she covers her chest with the sheet.

Seriously what's wrong with me? My mission partner is down with a wicked illness that I can't cure and I'm fantasizing about her? I need to pull it together. I've always been attracted to Y/n but I've been able to keep those thoughts better controlled than I have as of late.

"A little bit of everything. This sickness or whatever I have feels like it's stopping my natural healing process." Y/n's voice is whiny, which normally drives me up the wall. But I can't be annoyed with a sick Y/n. I don't think it's possible.

"I'm going to try and call Steve again, see if Bruce has any new theories about what's making you get so much worse." I was hoping my words would sound comforting, like I had an actual plan. All they did was reveal just how reliant she and I are to our teammates on the other side of the world.

I continue talking to her over my shoulder as I leave the room, "Make sure you take both of those pills, girly. I'm expecting at noticeable difference in the broth too." I tried for a playful tone, hoping to entice her.

All I get in reply is a groan of frustration before I close the door behind me. I do hear her nails scrape against the bedside table as she grabs the pills though, so at least she's listening to me.

When I reach the mission phone sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch, I check for new messages. Of course, there are none. I left the phone next to me at night in hopes of Steve calling with some new solution. I wanted the phone to be close so I didn't miss the call in my sleep, even though my hearing would never allow me to miss such a call.

I pick up the phone and dial Steve's number, holding the phone up to my ear. It only rings a few times before he answers on the other end.

"Hey Bucky, how are you guys holding up?" I roll my eyes at him. Even I recognize that my best friend has some serious positivity issues. Not everything has to have a good light, especially not Y/n's current situation.

"We're managing okay. Do you have anymore information for me?"

"I do have something new, I don't know exactly how helpful it will be. Bruce just informed myself about what he discovered."

I tried to keep the desperation out of my voice when I answered. "What is it? What do we know?"

"The team and I have been pouring over the information that Y/n pulled from the HYDRA computers. Almost everything is about their new weapons that their working on."

This information isn't much interest for me, but I know Steve wants me to hear the complete story. "Okay."

"Well the scientists who were working on this project have been working on this new weapon. A chemical one."

I'm loosing patience for this man and his stories. "This isn't new information, Steve. HYDRA has been using chemical weapons for decades."

"Yeah, the team is aware. We just want all our bases covered. That's all the new information we have. What's the mission phone's battery lookin like?"

I pull the phone away from my ear and look down the see the battery percent.

"It's at 15 percent. We don't have any power though. At least not enough to charge the damn thing. We barely have enough power to keep these burnt out bulbs shining and. the heat on."

"I head that. I'm going to let you go then, Buck. I'll call you if we get any updates. Try not to use the phone again unless it's a real emergency. I don't want it dying on you and have no way to contact you."

I sigh. I know he's right of course, but I don't like the idea of sitting around watching Y/n get worse while I wait on Steve to find a solution. I don't say any of these thoughts, however.

"Right. I'll talk to you later than, Steve." I'm so frustrated at the whole situation that I don't even wait for his reply before hanging up the phone.

I grab the thermometer and walk back to Y/n. When I walk into the room I find her taking tiny sips of the broth. She hasn't had much, but there is a definitely a difference than when I first left her.

"Wow. I'm shocked to see you've listened for a change." I give her a sly smile.

She doesn't return the smile when she answers.

"Sometimes it's just easier to listen to you. You're already bossy enough when I do listen to your demands."

I sit down next to her, the same spot I occupy day and night.

"Demand, not order. Now open up." I stick out the thermometer and she lets it sit under her tongue with a roll of her eyes.

When the machine beeps I take it out and read the small number. Damnit. She's not even slowing down. If anything she's getting worse, faster.

"What is it, Bucky?" Her eyes are so tired. I feel so guilty.

"It's 107, doll." She closes her eyes and nods slowly.

"Feels like it to. I've eaten all I can for tonight. Can I sleep now?" She's so pathetic sounding I can't say no.

"Of course, doll." I rise from the bed and move to clear her cups when she reaches out and grabs tightly onto my arm.

"Don't go. Can you stay with me tonight?"

"I could never say no to those doe eyes." She gives me a small smile.

Instead of cleaning up and leaving the room to sleep on the sofa, I walk across to the other side of the bed and settle down. Once I'm settled I feel Y/n's arms creep around my mental arm as she presses herself against it. The side of her cheek rests against my shoulder and she sighs with contentment.

This is why she really wanted me to stay with her tonight. To keep her cool. Not for any comforting purposes, and it was silly of my subconscious to hope that was the realness of our situation.

Y/n is up several more times throughout the day and night to be sick. I seriously don't understand how she has anything to throw up after the 3rd time. Surely your body needs some sort of fluids to produce bile.

Every time she stirs to be sick, I am up helping her run to the bathroom. To avoid being completely naked, Y/n has settled on wearing the huge T shirt to remain some what decent. Eventually, she falls asleep against my metal side, clutching me close to her boiling body.

DAY 3:

When I open my eyes and look down Y/n is still clung to my arm. No one has ever held on to my artificial arm this way. It makes me feel less like a weapon anyways.

I lay with her as long as I can before I have to slowly pull my arm away to use the bathroom. Even though her neck falls in what looks to be a very uncomfortable angle, she doesn't stir in the slightest. I move her head for her.

When I leave the bathroom I check the mission phone, briefly. Steve was right when warning me about low battery. When I check the wall clock I see that it is 12:34pm. I can't remember the last time I slept this late.

I go back to check on Y/n to find her still sleeping. When I check her temperature I see that it's jumped again in the night to 110.96. I don't understand how she's still breathing on her own. Steve needs to get us the hell out of here.

Y/n begins to stir under me after I removed the machine from her mouth. Her eyes open into tiny slits and I think it might be the best she can manage.

"Hey, doll. How are you feeling?" I have to do my very best to keep her comfortable. I don't think she has much mobility in her current state.

"I'm too hot," Her whining has intensified since yesterday and it makes my heart ache for her.

"Do you want me to take your T-shirt off? Would that make it a little cooler?"

All she could do in reply was nod and lift her arms slightly.

After some effort I was able to remove her clothes and pull the sheet over her chest. I could feel my own cheeks heat up after my hand grazed her breasts while helping her. I need Bruce to give me some sort of mental check up when we get back, I'm all out of sorts.

I hand her more fever pills and a glass of water, giving her 3 tablets this time. Obviously they're not making much of a difference. When I'm pulling my arm away from Y/n, she catches my metal arm in her hand. Her thumb grazes over the bullet mark from our mission. The one I took to save her. The one I said I regretted because of the damage…

I was pulled out of the memory from Y/n's eyes filling with tears.

"Y/n? Are you ok? What hurts?" My voice betraying me and showing just how panicked I was.

"I ruined your arm." She sobbed. "It should have been me that took the bullet. I'm the one it was meant for," Her cries became even harder.

"Shh Shhh. It's ok doll. My arm is just fine. You didn't ruin anything. I would've taken that bullet in my flesh to keep it from you." Nothing I said was making any impression on her though. This must me some sort of hallucination from the fever.

Y/n is crying so hard her words are inaudible. All I can do is try and comfort her by reassuring her that we're both ok and that's what matters. She won't hear a word of it.

Eventually she cried herself out and fell asleep. Only after I picked her up and let her body lay on top of my own.

She never woke up again, and I didn't attempt to move her.

DAY 4:

This day is really dragging on. I'm out of my mind with worry for Y/n. She hasn't woken up since yesterday's sob fest and I don't know how else to help her. She lays face down against me, soaking up the cold of my metal arm.

I would be content to just lay here and worry about her all day, when I hear the phone ring. It has been almost 2 days since any word from Steve. I cannot miss this phone call. As gently as I can, I lay Y/n against the mattress and rush out to answer the phone.

I push the technology against my ear as I hit answer, waiting to hear Steve's voice.

"Hello?"

"Steve thank god. Please tell me you have news on what's wrong."

"Not really. All the information I have is on that chemical weapon I was telling you about. The gas. How's Y/n?"

"What do you mean gas? Like a knockout gas?" My words were rushed. There was a gas leak on the mission. It brought Y/n down with a coughing fit…but I was fine.

"Not like that, Buck. They're a mix of chemical and biological weapons. It's a gas that attacks the victim's body internally. It destroys their immunity to the chemicals pumped through the gas. Not only does it wreck their immune system, but it stops all forms of medication from aiding in the healing process."

I think my heart has stopped beating.

"What." My voice is rigid.

"Genius isn't it? This ensures that the victim won't have the ability to get any help from medicine or other common treatment options. Only they know the cure."

My hand is shaking so badly I can barely hold onto the phone. I tighten my grasp. Both on the phone and reality.

"Steve. There was a gas attack on the mission. Y/n got a face full of it. I wasn't affected so I thought it was harmless…"

"Fuck. You're sure it was gas? Not steam?" Steve sounded panicked now too.

"I'm absolutely sure. She was down for a few minutes after inhaling it." I was making my way back to the bedroom when I asked the dreaded question.

"Steve, what happens when you give the sick person medicine?"

"We're not really sure. It doesn't heal them for sure. There is a possibility that it makes them worse. Why?"

I don't answer as I throw open the door to see Y/n seizing on the bed.

In a far away place I hear Steve repeating his question over and over again, but it seems that I've almost gone deaf.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I force the phone into my pocket and race to Y/n's body. I don't know the first thing about helping anyone who's experiencing a seizure. I do the only thing I can think of, which is to hold her head as still as I can without making the tension worse.

I pull the phone back out of my pocket and yell at Steve. I hear him arranging for some sort of emergency transportation to be arranged. I look back down at the screen to ask how long will he be, for some direction on how to save the woman I'm falling in love with, but when I look at the screen I only see my own terrified eyes reflected back at me. The phone is dead.

After several minutes Y/n's body falls limp against the bed. I sigh in relief, but then I'm even more worried that she's dead. That Her body is shutting down around her. I feel so stupid. I should have mentioned that fucking gas attack in the mission report. I should have protected her better. That's my whole job. My whole purpose.

I do the only thing I can think of. I wrap her up in a sheet and hold her to my chest and bring her to the living room. I'm sitting on the sofa, back rigid waiting for Steve to come save us with her cradled against me. To save her.

I wait for hours. I watch every minute on the clock tick by. Every minute I check her pulse, I listen for her heart beating steadily and her lungs to fill with air.

7 hours later I'm in the exact same position. I'm rocking Y/n in my lap gently as I speak to her. I tell her it's going to be ok. I tell her how sorry I am for not protecting her like I should've. I tell her how badly I want her to live, to fall back in love with me as I am her.

When I hear the bunker door unlatch, my brain takes me back to my nightmare, to the HYDRA agents murdering Y/n in front of me. I hold onto her tighter before setting her down on the couch, prepared to die for her. I face the entrance when I see Steve jump down into the bunker rather than use the latter.

I almost cry from relief. She's going to be ok. Help is here.

But we're not out of the woods yet. Steve and I have worked with each other for so many years we can communicate wordlessly now. He comes over to look at Y/n's unconscious form on the couch before lifting her up.

I climb out of the bunker into a full blizzard. The cold doesn't even register to me. My entire mind is consumed with how cold Y/n will be, only wrapped up in her sheet. I wait barefoot in the snow to see Steve's head under me at the base of the latter.

He holds Y/n above his head towards me and I bend down, knees soaked with snow to reach her. Her body feels like a temperature that I've never felt before, blisteringly hot against my snow frozen skin.

The rescue vehicle waiting for us is a helicopter. Most likely the only thing available in such short notice with our usual jet being out of order.

Steve and I are running now, climbing into the jet and settling in. Steve races to fly us to the tower as I lay Y/n down on a stretcher, letting Bruce look her over.

I don't move the entire flight home. The helicopter is small, barely large enough for our 4 person party. The entire flight I watch Bruce work on Y/n. I barely notice the next weeks.

When we land at the tower there is an entire medical team waiting to wheel Y/n off to an emergency hospital wing. They work on her for hours. Not that it matters, she never wakes up, and they have no idea how to cure what ills her.

The days blend together. I never leave Y/n's hospital room. I sit in the corner and I watch over her. I don't leave to eat, I don't leave to sleep, I haven't changed out of the clothes that I wore in the bunker. I didn't leave when I heard her heart stop and I had to watch the doctors revive her.

There are a dozen machines that do everything for Y/n. One is full of oxygen, even though she can barely breathe. One is to track her heart and breathing patterns, because they shift so frequently. I honestly have no idea what the other ones do, I just know they beep at me all day and night.

I've almost given up hope on my partner when one afternoon a cure is found and administered. Beautiful Y/C/E open, her head turns my direction, and 2 words are uttered.

"Hey, Buck." Her voice is as horse as I've ever heard, but she's alive.

I take the first full breath I've had in weeks, before I answer

"Hey, Doll."

END

#fanfic #injuries #Yn #Angst #Happy endings #protective bucky barnes

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sam24 · 1 year ago

Text

Hearts on Ice (2/2)

Series Summary: You absolutely loved shadowing at Dr. Framer's physical therapy clinic. Except for whenever Bucky Barnes, injured star hockey player, came in for his 4:30 appointments.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Warnings: Violence, creepy Brock Rumlow

enemies to lovers | college au | athlete bucky

part one

*****

Your mind raced with thoughts as you made your way back to your friends, hoping they wouldn’t notice the change in your mood.

“What happened? What did you say?” Wanda asked excitedly.

“Did you shove him?” Natasha leaned in with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

You opened your mouth to tell them that you couldn’t find Bucky, but the tears that started to form in your eyes spoke before you could.

“Oh, honey,” Wanda turned her body to face you, both girls grabbing onto your hands. “Is this a bathroom situation?”

You started to nod, but quickly shook your head. “No, we can’t leave. You wanted to watch Pietro’s game.”

“I can watch my dumb brother play dumb hockey any other day,” Wanda offered you a cheerful smile, holding her hand out.

“It’s Best Friend Bathroom Break!” Natasha tried to brighten the mood as they led you to the bathroom, earning a small chuckle out of you.

“Wow, wonderful alliteration, Shakespeare.” You wiped away tears.

In the bathroom, surrounded by the dull hum of hand dryers and the flushing of toilets, your friends formed a protective circle around you.

Natasha leaned against the sink, crossing her arms. “Alright, spill. What did that idiot do?”

You took a deep breath, recounting the scene with Bucky, the random girl, and his hurtful words. Wanda’s face shifted from concern to an expression of fiery determination, and Natasha’s eyes blazed with anger.

“That dickhead!” Natasha pounded on the sink, earning a couple glances. “Men are just unbelievable. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“He’s clearly still upset about what happened earlier,” Wanda drew soothing patterns on your skin, her voice much quieter than Natasha’s was. “He’s acting like this because he’s hurt, and he’s confused about his feelings. So he’s resorting to his popular hot boy facade. I’m not making any excuses for him, but I want you to understand that he didn’t mean anything he said. Don’t take his words to heart.”

You nodded, appreciating Wanda’s insight. It was a bittersweet realization that perhaps Bucky’s actions were fueled by his own inner turmoil . You chuckled weakly. “Best Friend Bathroom Break is turning into a therapy session.”

“Damn right,” Natasha flipped her hair dramatically. “Now, are we gonna let that asshat ruin your night?”

Wanda nudged you with a comforting smile. “Let’s turn this night around. We’re going to get back out there, enjoy the game, and have a blast at the party afterwards. Screw Bucky and his drama.”

🎕

You gripped Natasha’s arm, hoping she remembered the promise she made in the car to not lose you. As expected, Wanda was long gone, probably giggling somewhere with her British boyfriend, Vision, so you held onto Natasha like a vice.

You had already made accidental eye-contact with Bucky multiple times during the short time you had been here, and you absolutely refused to have Bucky see you alone, confirming his words that you were indeed a loner, so you hung onto your friend like a lifeline.

Natasha, being ever perceptive, flashed you a comforting grin and led you to a group of people standing together. You recognized some of them: Maria, Maria’s girlfriend, Carol Danvers from your humanities class, Jane Foster from writing, and Darcy Lewis from political science.

The group greeted you and Natasha excitedly, and Maria pulled you in for a tight hug. “Sorry I left you with Bucky for so long. My business went a bit into overtime.” She winked at her girlfriend, who pushed Maria with a giggle.

You pretended to throw up all over Maria’s jacket, and Darcy snorted. “Me too, girl. I’ve been stuck watching them grab each others’ asses for the past twenty minutes.”

“You’re just jealous you don’t have anyone to grab your ass.” Maria stuck her tongue out at Darcy.

“Quiet, peasant. I don’t allow anyone’s crusty hands anywhere near my scrumptious butt. It’s VIP only.” Darcy crossed her arms over her chest with a playful shove.

“Hey, I’m gonna go find a bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Natasha leaned into your ear.

“Yeah, sure. Want me to come?”

“Nah, it’s okay. I might ‘accidentally’ bump into Steve Rogers on my way there.” She winked at you and you poked annoyingly at her stomach.

“Ooo, someone’s got a cru-ush,” You sang teasingly, but were quickly shut up by a swift kick to the calf.

“Don’t get too lost!” Natasha called over her shoulder as she cat-walked away.

“I could say the same to you!” You called back. As you turned back around to join your friends in their conversation, you noticed Peter Quill in the corner of your eye, waving at you excitedly.

You waved back, a smile tugging at your lips at his childish expressions. You weren’t sure if you had any romantic feelings for him, but he sure would be a fun friend to have.

He beckoned for you to come to him, pointing at Scott and making a face, like I can’t stand this guy, come help me!

You laughed silently as Scott swatted at Peter’s hand, accompanied by a string of passionate-looking words. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go talk to someone real quick.”

“Don’t wander off too far!” Maria warned with a smirk. “Natasha would probably kill me if I lost her best friend.”

“I think I’ll be able to walk across the room just fine, Maria,” You said as you made your way over to Peter and Scott. As you dodged drunk college students and handsy couples, you accidentally bumped into a hard wall of muscle.

You turned around slowly, praying it wasn’t Bucky. It wasn’t. It was Brock Rumlow, who was looking you up and down in a way that made your skin crawl.

Bumping into Bucky would’ve been better.

The very first time you attended a hockey game with Wanda, she was quick to point out Brock on the ice and tell you to stay the hell away from him. Sure, she pointed out Bucky too, but that was just because he was a player. But according to her and Pietro, Brock was just flat out a creep.

“Sorry,” You apologized quickly, turning around in hopes of speed-walking away.

Long fingers grabbed your wrist harshly, forcing you back around. Oh, fuck me.

“Hold on,” Brock smirked evilly, which for some odd reason reminded you of a Disney villain. “I don’t recognize you.”

“Um, okay?” You half expected him to pull out an evil villain scroll to add your name to his hit list.

“You look so stiff, no wonder you’re running into everyone.” He looked you up and down once again, clearly judging the jeans and sweater you had on.

Before you could defend yourself and point out the fact that he was actually the first person you ran into today, he continued talking.

“No drink in your hand, wearing that, running into everyone,” Brock nudged you roughly. “I can tell this is your first party.”

You gave up on correcting him, knowing he would keep yapping. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll take you under my wing. Wanna try some of this?” He sloshed the drink around in his cup, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“No, thanks. I don’t really drink.” You shrugged his arm off, taking a step back.You were honestly surprised he actually gave you the chance to speak.

“You don’t drink? And you’re at a college party?” He stepped closer. His breath smelled like stale beer. “Bullshit.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t either,” You shrugged. “Save your kidneys early on.” You shocked yourself with your calm demeanor, especially since your mind was racing and praying that Natasha would randomly show up and tackle this weirdo from behind. Or at least sic her hunky blond crush onto him.

He narrowed his eyes, and you felt a shiver run down your spine as Brock’s predatory gaze intensified. It was evident he wasn’t used to someone rejecting his advances, and the dangerous glint in his eyes sent warning signals through your body.

“Kidneys are overrated anyways,” he replied with a sinister chuckle, his attempt at humor sending a chill through the air. He leaned in closer, close enough for you to cringe at the feel of his beer and Dorito breath on your skin.

The dimly lit room provided little comfort as you gravely realized that absolutely no one was watching. No one cared. Panic surged through you. Despite the people bustling around you, jostling and bumping into you, no one paid any attention.

“C’mon, take a sip.” He raised the cup, his arm snaking around your waist to hold you still.

You writhed around, but his death grip had you firmly planted in place. “Don’t touch me!”

“Stop being lame,” Brock raised the cup to your lips. “Just a sip.”

Your breath caught in your throat and your body went numb.

Just as he started to tilt the cup, you managed to knock it out of his hand with your thrashing. The drink spilled all over his shirt, and his grip on you loosened in surprise. Seizing the opportunity, you quickly pushed yourself away from him. As he reached out to grab you again, you shocked yourself by sending a well-aimed elbow jab straight to his neck.

As he doubled over and held his neck, you kicked him in the balls, earning a painful groan out of him. Yet, the victory was short-lived. As you turned around to get the hell out of there, he stomped down on your foot, and you winced in pain.

He managed to grab your wrist once again, his eyes fiery with rage. “You bitch,” he snarled angrily, spit flying from his mouth.

He tugged at your arm violently, leading you behind him with a bruising grip. You tried to plant your feet firmly in the ground to stop, and he suddenly turned around, leaning dangerously close to your face.

“Stop fighting, sweetheart,” he sneered, grabbing your waist. “The less of a fight you put up now and the easier you make it for me, the nicer I’ll be to you upstairs in bed.”

You slapped him across the face with your free hand. “You’re disgusting.”

He winded his arm back with anger, but suddenly, there was a blur of motion. You were forcefully ripped out of Brock’s clutches, and a large frame was standing between you two, gripping Brock’s collar with white knuckles.

Bucky.

“The hell you think you’re doing, Rumlow?” The rage in his voice was enough to send a shiver through your body. Bucky’s words echoed through the room, and everyone looked over.

Great. Now they wanna look?

Brock smirked, looking weirdly amused despite being stared down by a fuming Bucky Barnes in front of a crowd of people. The atmosphere crackled with tension, a palpable sense of anticipation settling over the room. The music seemed to fade into the background, leaving only the low hum of conversations and gasps.

“I was just having a little fun with the new girl,” Brock replied, his tone insolent. “Sorry man, didn’t realize she was your whore.”

Faster than you could blink, Bucky delivered a swift, bone-rattling punch to Brock’s jaw that sent him stumbling backwards. The room erupted in gasps, cheers, and ‘Do it again, bro!’s as the blow connected with a merciless crack.

Bucky advanced, and you managed to catch a glimpse of his face, seeing a side you’ve never seen of him before.

His face was red with fury, his jaw was clenched with anger, and dangerous emotions danced across his face. The icy blue storm in his eyes brewed violently.

Your body was frozen in place as you watched Bucky throw punches repeatedly onto Brock, who was now on the floor. Bucky climbed on top of him, his giant shoulders covering Brock’s battered up face from your view.

In the corner of your eye, you caught sight of Steve Rogers pushing through the crowd, towering over everyone, authority radiating off of him as people cleared his path. He seemed to be the only one brave enough to get in the way of Bucky’s wrath, reaching down to pull his best friend off of a writhing Rumlow.

Wanda and Natasha suddenly appeared on either side of you and each grabbed a hand, tugging you out of your daze.

“Come on honey, let’s go home,” Wanda said gently as the two girls led you to the front door, away from the fight.

“But Bucky-”

“He’ll be okay, just let him cool off,” Natasha reassured you.

You turned your head, catching a glimpse of Bucky thrashing mindlessly in Steve’s steady arms, a string of curses leaving his mouth that would make his mother smack him upside the head. He suddenly caught your gaze on him and he stopped flailing, his expression softening immediately with concern and care.

“Bucky,” you whispered quietly, knowing he wouldn’t have heard you, and you almost swore he whispered your name back.

Before you could succumb to your desire to run up to Bucky and smack him, tell him to stop looking at you like that, throw yourself into his embrace, and kiss him (yes, all in that order), Natasha’s comforting hand on the small of your back brought you back to reality as she led you out the door.

🎕

You glanced at the clock, your foot tapping and hands fidgeting.

4:27. Bucky should be here for his appointment in 3 minutes, assuming he was on time (which he usually wasn’t). You hoped his doctor had suddenly surprised him with a ‘Congrats! You don’t need physical therapy anymore!’ sometime earlier this week.

“Mr. Barnes will be here soon,” Dr. Framer said as he walked past you. “Could you go to the storage room and get some of the thicker resistance bands for his exercises while I finish up with Mrs. Davis?”

Thanks for crushing my hopes, Doc.

You obeyed the doctor, heading to the dimly lit storage closet and making a beeline for the resistance bands on the top shelf, but not before kicking a door stopper into the way so you wouldn’t get locked in.

You eyed the brown box on the top shelf, knowing there was no way in hell you were going to reach that. You looked around for help, but the dusty gray stepping stool that had a permanent home in the corner of the closet was nowhere to be found.

Screw it, you thought as you jumped for it, getting close every time but not quite being able to reach it. You hoped no one walked past the storage closet and saw you jumping up and down like a wasted rabbit, but of course, the universe was always against you.

“Need help?”

You spun around to see Bucky Barnes standing in the doorway, looking annoyingly amused. Your eyes immediately flickered down to his bruised up knuckles, and he seemed to notice, hastily shoving them into his pockets.

“I’m fine, thanks.”

Bucky, however, didn’t seem to mind your reply, strolling up to where you were standing and casually picking up the box off the shelf, placing it in your arms with a grin.

“Show off,” you grumbled.

The door suddenly shut with a loud slam, and you looked at Bucky in horror.

“Did you move the door stopper?”

“What door stopper?”

You groaned, dropping the box to bury your face in your hands. “Wonderful.”

“Calm down, Drama Queen. My phone’s right he-” Bucky patted his pockets, looking at you sheepishly. “I think I forgot it.”

“And mine’s in my bag,” you groaned.

“It’s fine, let’s just bang on the door. We’re right next to the waiting room anyways. The front desk lady will hear us.”

“Shannon never wears her hearing aids unless someone’s in the waiting room,” You shook your head. “She says everything sounds too annoying.”

“Fuck, no one’s in the waiting room, I just walked past.”

“And Dr. Framer’s finishing up with another patient right now,” you sighed, leaning against the shelf and sliding down onto the floor.

Bucky sat down on the floor next to you, and you pretended to ignore the slight flutter in your heart from the close proximity. Awkward tension filled the room as you both obviously were thinking about the same thing. You had so many things to say, to ask, to express, but nothing came out.

“Who the hell designed this stupid thing?” Bucky gestured towards the door.

“Probably someone with the same IQ level as you.” You caught the slight smile on Bucky’s face as you two fell back into the familiar comfort of arguing, ignoring the questions that were bound to be asked.

“Yeah sure, let’s see who’s still laughing once I break down this door with my athletic prowess and save the day.”

“How about we dial down on the heroic acts, superman.” You immediately regretted the words once they left your mouth. Bucky seemed to catch on to your unintentional reference to his fight with Rumlow. Tension filled the air once again, and you wanted to kick yourself.

“We, uh, should probably talk about that-” Bucky nervously rubbed his neck.

“I heard you and that girl talking after I left concessions,” you blurted out, unable to stop the word vomit.

Bucky grimaced, and you watched his eyes fill with guilt. “Yeah, I knew that would come back to bite me.”

“Care to explain, Barnes?” You looked over at him. “I honestly thought we were kind of getting along, but then you randomly got all pressed when Peter and Scott came in, and then you called me a nerd with no friends.”

Bucky shifted uncomfortably, the regret clear on his face. “Look, when that Quill guy came along and started flirting with you, I got . . . jealous.”

“Jealous?” Your eyebrows shot up. “Why? We aren’t even, uh, a thing.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been good with this stuff.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking down. “Seeing you with someone else just got under my skin, I guess. I saw you smiling at him and laughing at his jokes, and it got me all messed up. I wanted you to look at me the way you were looking at him.”

“Oh.” You were quiet for a bit. “What about with that girl?”

Bucky winced. “I was . . . saving face, I guess? I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was bothered by the Quill thing, so I pretended like I didn’t care.” He took a deep breath, turning to look you in the eye. Sunlight streaming from the small window in the corner danced on Bucky’s face with elegance, showing you something you’ve never seen on his face before.

Vulnerability.

“After I saw you and Quill, I guess I was just really upset, insecure, and confused about my own feelings for you, so I basically ran to someone else. And the first person I saw happened to be Dot. I just needed to feel wanted, you know? Like a sense of validation.”

You nodded slowly. “Look, Bucky, I get it. Emotions can be messy, and we don’t always make the best decision when we’re upset. But honesty goes a long way. You should've told me instead of running away. I had no idea what was going on inside your head.”

“I know.” Bucky looked ashamed as he fiddled with his fingers, his eyes trained down.

“But I’m really glad that you’re telling me this now.” You took his hand gently, an unfamiliar feeling rushing over you. It was the feeling of being able to do everything without fear when Bucky was by your side. His warm hand in yours was comforting, a connection that reassured you in ways words couldn’t express.

He scooted closer with a warm smile as you two settled into a comfortable silence, the low hum of the air conditioning being the only noise in the background.

“Look, Steve sat me down this weekend and knocked some sense into me. Then he called me Ma, and she knocked some sense into me too. I’ve been an idiot, but I’m working on it, for what it’s worth.”

Your eyes met his, and a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. “Well it’s a good thing Steve has some sense to spare. I appreciate the effort, Bucky.”

“Yeah, he’s got plenty to go around,” he chuckled, his thumb rubbing gently across the back of your hand. “I want you to know that I really care about you. I want to make things right.”

As a smile spread across your face, he continued. “I don’t want you to think that I take you for granted. You mean a lot to me, and I want to be better. For you.”

You squeezed his hand gently. “You mean a lot to me, too, Bucky. More than I ever realized.”

“I thought you hated me,” Bucky teased with a smirk.

“I thought so too.” You sighed dramatically. “I guess I’ll have to get rid of my ‘How to Handle Bucky Barnes: The Irritating Assshat’ survival handbook now.”

“Impressive. Does it come with a ‘How to Handle my Irritating Crush on Bucky’ chapter?”

“That’s a work in progress.” You smirked. “Didn’t exactly expect to find myself having a heart-to-heart with you in a dusty closet.”

“Life’s full of surprises,” he remarked, a deep warmth in his eyes.

“And you, James Buchanan Barnes, are the most unexpected one,” you admitted, your tone softening.

“You stalker,” he gasped accusingly. “Digging through patient files to find my full name?”

“Oh biscuits,” you rolled your eyes. “Looks like you caught me.”

“If you wanted me that bad, you could’ve just asked, Doc.”

“I’ll be sure to add that lovely advice to the handbook. How does this sound: ‘Hey Bucky, I’ve secretly been harboring feelings for you. Wanna go make out in the storage closet?’ .”

“I’m pretty sure I would’ve appreciated the honesty,” he laughed.

“You’re impossible.”

“You love it.”

“Debatable.”

“I think you meant to say dateable.”

“You're pushing your luck, Barnes.” You nudged him playfully.

“Admit it. I’m growing on you.”

“Like a stubborn weed.”

“A weed you secretly enjoy having around.”

You feigned annoyance, but the giddy feelings in your chest told a different story. “Don’t get too comfortable, Barnes. You’ve still got a long way to win me over completely.”

“Challenge accepted.” He leaned his back against the shelf with a content sigh, smiling with closed eyes. After a moment of silence, Bucky scooted even closer, pressing his warm body against yours.

He grinned bashfully. “You’ve probably figured this out by now, but I really like you, Doc. Like I really really like you. Talking to you just feels so natural, you know? I feel . . . fuck I’m trash with words.” Bucky took a deep breath. “I feel at home. With you.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “You feel at home when I’m being mean to you?”

Bucky chuckled, the sound echoing in the cramped space. “It’s like . . . I don’t know, you challenge me. Keep me on my toes. But it’s not just that. It’s the way you are, the way you see things. I feel like I can be myself around you, no pretenses. Plus, I know you’ll call out all my bullshit. Like my mom and Steve.”

“That’s a tough crowd to be compared to,” you teased, feeling a pleasant warmth in your chest.

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, but you belong up there with them.”

You smiled, resting your head on Bucky’s shoulder. “I like you too, Barnes. Even though you annoy the crap out of me.”

Bucky laughed heartily. “Scout’s honor. You look so cute when you’re annoyed.” He gently raised your chin with his hands, dipping his head down to look you in the eyes. “All that fuckboy bullshit? I’m tired of it, baby. I only want you.”

“Are you sure you wanna be stuck with the bland vanilla, Barnes? Too late, no take backs.” You teased him playfully, ignoring the rapid beating of your heart.

“You’re more than just bland vanilla,” Bucky frowned, thinking. “You’re . . . spicy pistachio.”

You snorted at Bucky’s unexpected description. “Spicy pistachio? Is that your attempt at a compliment?”

He grinned, his eyes lighting up. “Absolutely. It means you’re a rare and exciting flavor, something I didn’t know I needed until I tried.”

“Well I’m glad you’re such a fan of spicy pistachio, Barnes.”

“The biggest fan.” He looked at you with such gentle care, you thought you would melt under his gaze.

You shoved his shoulder roughly, averting yourself from his deep stare.

“What was that for?” He feigned a wince, just to give you some satisfaction.

“On behalf of Nat.” You just had to make sure you got the shove out of the way before your brain completely surrendered to his sweet talk.

He just smiled knowingly.

You couldn't help but glance down at his roughed-up knuckles, and guilt flooded through you. Bucky noticed, lifting your chin up once again with his gentle touch. The reassurance in his eyes said it all: Don't worry about it, baby.

“I never said thank you for what you did at the party last week.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said as he leaned in closer. “Just doing my job.”

“Your job?” You raised your eyebrows. “And what job might that be?”

Bucky’s eyes sparkled mischievously. “Guardian of the spicy pistachio, of course.”

You laughed, your cheeks suddenly heating up when you realized how close Bucky’s face was to yours. He came in closer, if that was even possible, his eyes gazing into yours with deep admiration.

“You’re so annoying.”

“Only I can get you so riled up,” Bucky smirked. “It’s truly a gift.”

“Yeah,” your voice got quiet. You forgot the snarky reply you were about to retort back with. “Only you.”

His eyes flickered down to your lips.

“The spiked fruit punch at your party sucked,” you added as your brain malfunctioned. “It made Wanda sick.”

Bucky leaned closer. “Noted. I’ll let Thor know.”

“You should really consider investing in some Febreze. The whole place smelled like sweat.”

“Noted. I’ll tell Steve.” He leaned in a bit more, his lips almost brushing against yours.

Amidst the closeness, you couldn’t help but let out more observations as your mind raced. “Also, your playlist needs a serious upgrade. I think I heard ‘Eye of the Tiger’ at least three times.”

Bucky brought his hands up to rest on your cheeks, leaning in even closer. “Noted. I’ll tell Sam.”

“Just kiss me already.”

“Noted, baby.” Bucky finally closed the gap between you with a smile as your lips met in a sweet, long-awaited kiss. His soft lips moved gently and his thumbs caressed your cheeks lovingly.

The world outside the closet seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in a moment suspended in time, finally acknowledging the feelings that had been swirling beneath the surface.

As the kiss deepened, you pulled away slightly, a playful glint in your eyes.

“You know, I think this is the most action this storage closet has seen in years. We should charge rent.”

Bucky chuckled against your lips, “In that case, we should give it a good show. You know, make the experience worth its money.”

Bucky pulled you into another kiss, his laughter merging into the warmth of the moment.

The door suddenly opened, light entering the dark closet as you and Bucky pulled apart frantically, scrambling for excuses. Dr. Framer was standing in the doorway with multiple emotions changing on his face. First surprise, then confusion, then a knowing smile directed at Bucky.

“You know, I could always tell you had a crush on her.”

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #college au #athletebucky #marvel fanfiction #protective bucky barnes

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