#my non existent patience is being tested

[confusedkittensposts]

Every time I think I just might like Jensen, a lil bit, he opens his trap and makes me want to hit him with a chair

[bruciemilf]

I know this is a DC blog but I NEED dad Logan. Get that murder teddy bear some kids ASAP.

Fancast + non canon Headcanons ahead.

BOBBY MY BELOVED / 16

“Sure everything in my life is terrible. But at LEAST I’m gay”

Makes pop culture references Logan doesn’t understand. “Logan threw the first brick at stonewall” “what are you SAYING” “he’s an ally”

Can, will, and has gaslight Logan into thinking he’s homophobic just for not letting Bobby do what he wants

Stole a beer from Logan once and they found him drunk crying at 3 am. He calls Logan to apologize about it. “I’m sO sorryyy. You know I love you??” “Go to bed” “noOoo” Logan is next to him.

Has a secret YouTube channel and everyone watches for Logan interactions specifically

Mabel Pines coded

KITTY… that’s his half pint your honor. / 17

Logan is terrified. Why are you such an easy kid. Why aren’t you rebelling? Why isn’t defiance bleeding on your fists?

Why aren’t you clawing and biting and snarling for your freedom? Why aren’t you being a kid? Who do I have to skin-

Daughters are not supposed to exist quietly.

I hc that Kitty’s family is extremely unsupportive of her being a mutant, — but they’re just traditional in general. Specifically she’s petrified of being around/existing along men.

Certified babysitter when Logan’s not around. She’s so big sister.

“guys!1!11!!!! mr. Logan said not to do that!1!1!1”

Logan BEGS her to be a shitty teenager for like 10 minutes. Be bratty!!! Tell him to fuck off! Throw a tantrum!!!! “But I’m not a kid.” “You’re MY kid.”

JUBILEEE daddy’s girl / 15

Problem Child TM

Plays Rock n Roll by Avril Lavigne at 4 am to piss Logan and her siblings off when they annoy her

Grounded all the time but if she fake cries Logan will shamefully relent.

Always puts Logan’s patience to the test because she anticipates him leaving/giving up on her

Foster child with issues. She spent half her life looking for people and the other half being abandoned by them. This won’t be any different.

Except Logan is very good at fighting destiny.

Your honor I don’t CARE Logan is made to be a girl dad!!!!

“On the spectrum. Not saying which one”

STRONG she/they energy

Most affectionate with Logan out of all the kiddos. Her love language is terrible pancake making (Logan eats them anyway) and cat cuddling.

ADHD icon

LAURA (murder baby) / 7

Brings dead birds/mice to her family members (affectionate)

Charles has the bright idea to enroll her in school with the kids. “It’s important for children to socialize with peers their own ages.” “Can’t socialize if they’re all DEAD.”

That meme of the little boy and his father with an arrow in his shoulder

Youngest child privilege

Steals Bobby’s phone and shoot’s hilariously off angle family vlogs. One of them includes her stealing Logan’s motorcycle while he runs after her

[vroomvroomcircuit]

You pulling in made me wish your Dad pulled out

(A/N): Thank you to @foreveralbon for workshopping this fic with me with this prompt. I don't know what to do if you weren't my muse.

Summary: Charles pissed off his neighbor with his parking. Her answers are notes taped to his car window. How can evolve more out of that?

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x female!reader

Wordcount: 1.6k

🏎Masterlist🏎 ________________________

(Y/N) knows that she isn’t the most professional car parker. She should never start a career as a valet for sure. After all, she needed a second attempt on her own practical test to attain her drivers license.

But there is this one neighbor of hers. She doesn’t know what he looks like, what his name is or where he even lives. But (Y/N) knows one thing for sure: He is a shit parker.

Like, he is the worst person at parking that has ever walked the world. If he could, he probably would park his oh so expensive car onto other cars. But she tries to not let that get too close to her. After all, we just talk about parking spaces and it’s not worth getting her blood pressure up over it.

But (Y/N) found her tipping point.

Her whole morning has been a shit show. Her alarm went off, but she accidentally turned it off instead of giving herself another five minutes of sleep. Five minutes turned into 45. That meant the young woman had to rush through her usual morning routine and she is 90 % sure that she put at least one clothing item on the wrong way.

But it’s ok, she is still on time. She just needs to get out of the car par-

This is where (Y/N) last thread of patience with that neighbor snaps in two like a potato chip, crisp and unclean. This person parked the front half of his car in a way that completely blocks (Y/N)’s rear end from exiting the car in a way that does not hinder the sidewalk.

It takes a solid seven minutes to get out of her spot, trying not to scratch hers or another car. Arriving a few minutes late at work because of that and receiving a reprimand from her boss is really the young woman’s last straw. On her lunch break she does some snooping on the internet and comes across a really fine find. It’s worth the price and shipping cost to her.

Actually, she can’t wait for the week it is supposed to take to arrive at her doorstep.

But the time between that particular day and the day of arrival do fly by when you use it getting madder and madder at the dickhead that is unable to park like a normal person.

The next occurrence doesn’t take long after (Y/N)’s package finally arrives. She wanted to park her vehicle in her usual spot when Mr. Ferrari already took his and her own too. How can one person be such an asshole?

(Y/N) takes one of the business card sized cuts out of her glove box and puts it in the slit of the black car’s window. Satisfied with her work she steps back into her vehicle and looks for a different spot, ending up walking several minutes back to her apartment building, having to look somewhere farther away.

Charles can see from a distance that there is a card at his car’s windowshield. Which makes him suspicious. Surely no one thinks that he wants to sell his car for cheap, so it can’t be one of those car handler’s business cards. Maybe it’s a new ruse of thieves, trying to get him to stand long enough at his car to read it and be able to steal his car. Or they are kidnappers. Anyways, he makes quick work of putting the card into his pocket and drives off at a neck breaking speed.

When he arrives at his destination, the Monegasque pulls the piece of paper out and reads it. “The way you pulled in makes me wish your dad pulled out”, he reads aloud, laughing a little to himself.

He has to admit that he might not be the best at parking. Who is he even kidding, he would win the world championship at being the worst car parker possible. But the thought of someone getting that angered over his non-existent skills.

It’s something that makes him happy throughout his entire day. Which is his main reason to try and look how much he can piss that particular neighbor off even more.

So Charles starts parking even worse. If he also starts on the habit of watching out of his window more often now, he would claim it is just a coincidence. But something in him wants to meet that neighbor.

That person that gets more and more creative with their insults. One time they called him an obstacle to evolution. The other day the business card said something along the lines of him belonging to the asshole club now.

Another, a handwritten, note asked him not to reproduce. The neighbor even left a condom for him. This made Charles laugh so loudly, that (Y/N) looked out her opened window.

She just finished one of the worst shifts she ever had since starting that job and all she wants is just a quiet evening to come down from the stress. Just the noise of the laugh is enough to set her off again.

Seeing her handsome neighbor from under her apartment pocketing the note and condom she left just minutes earlier isn’t what she expected. Watching him opening the car, sitting down and driving off is even less on her list.

It kind of destroys her world view, realizing that hot neighbor and asshole parker are the same person. In the last couple of weeks (Y/N) started to get some fun out of the mean comments she left at the black Ferrari’s window. This also could be her chance to finally make a move on him.

The young woman waits for the brunette to return with his car and stays seated on her couch for another couple minutes, for extra measure of course. After that, she leaves the apartment building with her prepared note and tapes it to the car’s rear window.

Charles on the other side stays glued to his window as soon as he enters his apartment. He finally wants to catch the person that gets angrier and angrier each time he parks in an outrageous way in the act.

Seeing the beautiful neighbor, who lives above him, sticking another note to his car makes his heart flutter in an unexpected way. For some time now he wanted to get to know her and if everything went according to his original plan, ask her out on a date. But maybe he can now use this to his advantage.

As soon as the beautiful neighbor is back in the building Charles waits an extra couple minutes before he once again makes his way to his car.

Running over his vehicle with a pep in his step, Charles is kind of excited about what insults or threats await him now. He has to admit, he actually parked pretty decently. Or as decent as he is able to. So the note has to be at least a little bit nicer than the previous ones.

“Hey neighbor. I thought instead of shitting on you and your parking skills even more, I want you to help and get better. I may not be a driving teacher, but helping you wouldn’t make your skills worse. Just text me with the times you are available at ;)” signed with (Y/N)’s name and number.

It’s kind of funny to explain to the press later how Charles met (Y/N) and became her boyfriend.

"Yeah, well I know that my driving has become sort of a, a meme,” he answers when asked a week after his announcement on instagram, “And my neighbor wasn’t too fond of it either. So she started to leave me these really funny, but also really aggressive notes at my car. One said something like I won the inconsiderate Parker Price. Which made me quite proud.” This entices a laugh out of the journalist. “Yeah, (Y/N) has a really good way with words, I fear. But in the end she offered me some parking lessons.” Charles smiles and thinks back to them.

He had texted (Y/N) immediately and they set up a date for the lesson two days away. But they still continued to text non stop and by the time they met up, it felt like they had been friends for years.

Which didn’t stop (Y/N) raging at Charles after his fifth failed attempt of parking his car according to her instructions. “I don’t believe you anymore. With the way you park you are not from Monaco but the deepest and wildest parts of Italy! Your Ferrari seems really fitting now!” This drew a laugh out of him until she graced him with the meanest look he didn’t expect her to be able to muster up.

“How about dinner as a thank you and apology?” He asked sheepishly, trying both to diffuse the situation and make his move. Why not shoot his shot right now?

Luckily the young woman agreed.

“In the end my parking skills weren’t enough to win her over, but my charm was what scored me a second date.”

And a third. A relationship. After some more funny parking jokes and him kneeling down on one knee with a ring and the promise to take lessons to keep their future family safe he even scored himself his unexpected forever.

[angelwhisp3rs]

∞ ₒ ˚ ° 𐐒 obsession

Pairing: ID!Leon x Fem!Reader

Summary: Training the rookies was a pain until he met her. His sweetest new obsession, he wouln't stop till he was buried deep inside her.

Tags: smut, fluff, age gap (not too much! i imagined leon being 37 and the reader being 23-25, so everyone is legal and consenting! Its not his age in ID but i use it only bc of the character background), p in v, eating out, riding, breeding kink, leon is obsessed!, a small housewife kink.

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ on repeat: exo - obsession

Notes: Got too excited and posted without proofreading it! If i missed anything, please let me know so i can correct it! Also, when will tumblr make a pastel pink theme for the dashboard? I hate that everything we have is either a sad/gloomy hipster or raging gothic theme.

From all his years working at the D.S.O, Leon was stressed pretty much all the time, never catching a break, too exhausted. That showed on the increasing wrinkles forming from his frowns, and the occasional white hair that appeared on top of his head. In his non-existent breaks, he had another thing on his belt: training the new agents.

At first, it was a pain in the ass, watching those morons do the same mistake over and over, it really made Leon think it was getting too easy to be a D.S.O agent. Some repeated the same mistakes over and over again, and because of it, Leon frequently lost his patience, soon getting known as a hardass. 

As time went by, he began losing hope for the future of the department, until she came through. Pretty body, voice as soothing as a canary and delicious lips that called for him. And the best thing was that she was better than all of these morons, throwing down even the experienced rookies.

Since Ada, Leon didn’t know what it was like to be this obsessed with a woman. He wanted to know her next step, have her by his side all the time, know how her soft skin feels underneath his rough fingertips. He dreamed of her, and caught himself checking her out more than he should. Chris always teased him in private, telling him “his star student is making him turn back to his twenties”. God, they had a small age gap, but thinking about it only made his cock throb. Maybe dealing with rookies made his mind turn him back to his twenties.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

As their “graduation” got closer in time, all the new agents began training more, but none were like her. She came in first and left after all of them, always using the training gym by herself the most she could. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Leon offered private training, becoming a private tutor to her.

Instead of making things easy, it just caused him to become even more addicted to her - he now knew her thoughts, her quirks and her perspectives. As they spent more and more time together, it was clear that she found him attractive too - he knew he was still successful with women, after all (even if he was more dumped than anything). Leon had cemented in his mind that he needed her, and now he just needed to find a way to approach her.

She will be all his.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

One of the nights, he had to spend in his office reading and filing boring documents, Leon heard a gentle knock on his door. “Come  in” he simply answered, and to his surprise - and excitement, it was his little star. She entered his office, and her usual sparkly eyes were dull, the poor thing was too tired, working herself too much.

“What happened, rookie? You look exhausted. Working too much to bring me down?” Leon said with a smirk

“Ha, you wish, sir.” Oh, how that term made his pants tighten. “I just came for help, I don’t know. I’ve been focusing on sharpening my skills for the admission test, but I don’t know…” she said unsure

“Hey, don’t tell the rest, but you’re the only one that I would bet on getting in” he reassured her, standing up and taking a seat beside her in his couch “You’re too much in your head, agent”

“I know, I just can’t turn it off…” she whined, making Leon think how she would sound if he made her cum around his cock 

That 's it. That was Leon’s chance to get his favorite student. He put a hand on her thigh, not too close to her precious cunt and said quietly to her “It’s alright, sweetheart… I can help you, if you want”

She knew where this was going, and it turned her on more than she thought. Feigning innocence, she pulled a strand of her hair behind her ear, nodding “But… How, sir?” and looked at his lips

Leon smiled, caressing her jaw “let me fill your mind, rookie. Why don’t you sit at my desk, hm?” 

She stood up and slowly went to his desk, sitting on it and letting her head fall to the side, as if to question him “what’s next?” with her body language. Leon follows her, standing between her legs and letting his hands caress the outer side of her thighs. His face lowers to her neck, his kisses and his stubble causing a warm sensation to run through her skin. A soft gasp left her lips, her hands caressing the back of his head.

Feeling him smirk against her skin, he kept placing slow and gentle kisses, adding some nibbles on the mix “That’s what my best student needs, right? A real man to touch her”

He lays her on his desk, pushing his papers aside, pulling her hips into his - his cock adding a nice weight to her sensitive wetness. He slowly pushed her shirt up, watching her beauty for a moment “You’re perfect, baby”. As he whispered the praise, her cheeks blushed more, a soft giggle leaving her lips. He finally kissed her lips and both were hungry for each other, to quench the thirst they had been accumulating after months. 

Leon swiftly undoes her bra, not wasting any time and circling his tongue around her nipples, sucking and lightly nibbling it. Underneath him, her breath quickens, as she whines freely as he teased her. Trying to ease their ache, Leon grinds their centers together, his cock so hard that his zipper presses against his member.

Soon, he removed her pants, kissing as her skin showed - inch by inch. Again, his stubble creates goosebumps in her legs, as he worshiped her body - she deserved it, after all, he wanted to make her addicted to him and his taste. Watching her panties so drenched as they were glued to her pussy, he couldn't help but nuzzle into her bundle of nerves, causing a gentle jump on her. He kissed and licked the wet spot, as if trying to eat her up. 

“F-fuck, please take them off, sir” she whined, not even realizing that she kept the term. Leon, deciding that he wasn’t in a teasing mood, guided the clothing down, letting his pretty star all spread on his desk - his to take, to tease, to fuck, to breed. 

“Shit, baby girl, you are so wet for your teacher… you wanted me to take you, right? You wanted me to go crazy and drench my face with you. huh?” He teased her as he got on his knees, aligning his face against her cunt. She was so red, puffy and wet, not even the most delicious candy could compare to her.

His tongue tasted her at first with kitten licks, causing a loud moan to rip from her mouth. “Keep quiet, sweetheart. We don’t want anyone coming here and seeing you spread out like a needy slut, right?” at his comment, and as if teasing her, he finally sucked and rolled his tongue around her clit, letting his index finger circle her wet entrance. Almost as if she was distressed, she cupped her mouth with her hand, rolling her eyes back at the pleasure. 

Pushing his finger forward, slowly, until he's entirely inside her, he kept eating her out with gusto, as if he was a starved man. Soon, what was one finger turned into two, her juices were flowing through his palm as he began to be more desperate for her - but he wouldn’t stop till she let him taste her entirely. “It feels good, doesn’t it, my doll? I’m the only man and only one for you, gonna make sure to keep this pussy satisfied till I die”.

His fingers and mouth worked more ferociously, pussy drunk wasn’t even close to describe how he was feeling.On the other end, she had tears in her eyes as one hand didn’t leave her mouth as the other one tugged his hair hard, making him moan against her drenched cunt. “S-sir, o-oh g-god…need to c-cum!” she pleased, looking down at him with glazed eyes.

“Do it, baby girl, give it to me” he ushered her, maintaining the pace till she finally coated his fingers, tongue and mouth with her essence. As her ‘little death’ came, she felt as if fireworks erupted inside her mind - none of her exams daring to creep up on her mind.

He praised and marked her thighs as she came down from her high. The girl pulled Leon into a passionate kiss, smiling in contentment, reaching cloud 9000. Pulling away, she whispered against his lips “Let me repay you, Leon. Wanna make you feel just as good”

“Not today, doll.” He whispered, sitting back in his chair and pulling his pants and underwear down, patting his lap “I know how to help you even further”, he said with a wicked glint in his eyes.

Like an excited bunny, she hopped off his desk and jumped into his lap, resuming her kisses on his mouth - casually descending into his jaw and neck, enjoying the pleased hums that he lets out. He palmed her ass and firmly grabbed it, giving some gentle smacks as she had his fun with him. To Leon, in all of his life, that was his happiest moment: having his pretty princess on his lap, all naked, hypnotized in kissing and feeling him up. 

“Go ahead, baby, let me finally empty your mind and use you” he calmly ordered her, caressing her cheeks adoringly. Soon, she positioned herself and slowly sat down on his cock, rolling her eyes back and holding into his chair behind him. 

“S-so b-big…” she moaned, her head falling into his shoulders as the girl swallowed all of him. She was so tight, wet and perfect, Leon almost came deep in her cunt just by her inserting him. His head got dizzy for a moment, his hold on her ass tightening, as he grunted and pressed his eyes closed. 

Dedicatedly, she began jumping up and down on his cock, their skin slapping as the woman looked directly into his eyes. If anyone saw them at that moment, they would attest that both had heart in their eyes. her tits jumped up and down in front of him, making his tongue and fingers play with them as the couple lost their minds in pleasure.

“Good job, doll… jumping on my cock like the good girl you are… it’s all for you, always for you” he said rambling in pleasure,  busying his mouth to tell her praises and roll her sensitive nipples on his tongue, as her cunt drenched his cock, causing a white ring at the base.

Holding tightly into the back of his chair, her hips worked even faster on him, making Leon moan more frequently in pleasure, slapping her ass, leaving behind his handprints on her pretty skin. His head falls back as he watches the goddess in front of him taking what's hers and milking his cock into her hungry pussy. He would make sure that she passed her admission check, so every end of shift he would breed her cunt, till she is finally all of his - the mother of his children, his pretty wife. But that’s a talk for later.

After some minutes pass, Leon takes over and thrusts from below, making her body turn into his own ragdoll, her moans flowing freely into his mouth. Some minutes passed, and both were on the brink of their orgasm, so close to reaching their true paradise “Will you let me fill you, doll? Make your womb so full of me, gonna make you get home with me drenching on your legs” he taunted her.

Not handling much more teasing, and his words serving as a catalyst to her peak, she nods and coats his cock with her sweet arousal, biting down on his shoulder to drown out her sounds. Her roughness and the new tight hold on his cock makes him spill into her gummy walls, emptying himself. Finally, he marked her as his. His doll, his love, his property.

Both were coming down from their highs, trying to control their breathing, letting their heartbeat slow down. He caressed her hair, kissing her cheeks and nuzzling their noses together, all smiles. “So, did I help?” he asked jokingly.

“Didn’t even know why I came here” she answers teasingly.

From now on, Leon would never be exhausted for the wrong reasons ever again.

[donnerpartyofone]

My most pointless complaint of the day is the very old news that man, Duolingo sucks. I feel trapped with it not just because of my 1000+ day streak--a feeling they're surely counting on--but because I'm not really sure how to estimate my proficiency level and transfer it over to another platform. I tried using Mango but I don't really like the way it's set up, and I also don't have the patience to figure out whether and how to skip forward to lessons that feel new. Also my proficiency is in a pretty weird state, like I recently read a whole novel without TOO much help but my writing is bad and my conversation is non-existent. I have a couple other systems to try out, but in the meantime I'm slavishly slogging along with Duo and it's like. There are so many bad things about it. If it started out like this, I never would have used it in the first place. I miss the discussion tab, I miss just being able to find out WHY something is structured a certain way, like what's the rule. The examples are even more abstract and unnatural than ever, the section tests include examples I've never seen before, and it blows that I don't get to skip forward when I'm consistently acing something. The latter thing especially sucks because I have almost no sense of progress anymore; I can't totally prove it but I'm pretty sure I'm now spending WAY more time than ever before on the same things, even compared with when I was not skipping ahead in the past. I started to feel like I was hallucinating, like am I really checking in on this thing every day for months to keep telling it over and over again that I know how to say "I do not want to go to a bar because I am not thirsty" (an excuse that has never occurred to me in my life)? Every day for weeks and weeks and weeks Duo has made me say "I always go to Switzerland in the summer"; finally I progressed to a new section and I thought YES, AT LAST, SOME NEW SENTENCES! ...and the new section is about vacations, and now I still have to say "I always go to Switzerland in the summer" every single day. Like if their confidence is really that low, about whether I can learn that one phrase after months of repetition, then they should just shut down the whole app because what's the point?

I mean, yes, I know, I don't HAVE to do this. I'm agreeing to this torture. I just have this feeling that to stay in practice, or maintain some kind of continuity, I need to keep it up until I firmly decide on a new platform. Or at least a new method. I could always stick to only reading foreign language books for fun and just decide that it doesn't bother me that my writing and speaking will always suck. I didn't really have a goal in mind anyway so maybe it doesn't matter.

[atschoolunfortunetly]

Wholesome Sonic and Tails Once Again!

I have testing today! I'm scared! Anyway, fic time! It ends very abruptly because I had no idea what else to write lol. Hope you enjoy it!

After everything that happened on Starfall Islands, one would think Sonic could deal with anything that was thrown his way. Sonic himself was confident in that statement. Which is why he hates how he doesn’t know how to deal with one thing, his feelings. Feelings were never his thing and honestly he never really knew what to do when negative ones came out. 

He has felt negative emotions before. He would be lying if he said he hasn’t. He’s been scared, nervous, upset, the whole lot but he never let any of them keep him down long. So, it made him confused on why his heart ached watching Tails pack away some of his most important equipment in a large case.

“Hey, Sonic, you mind grabbing me that contraption behind ya? I wanna work on it while I’m gone.”

“Alright, I gotcha.”

Sonic picked up the contraption and handed it to Tails with a small smile on his face. He lied earlier when he said he didn’t know what he was feeling. He knows damn well what it is but he doesn’t feel like admitting it. 

Tails is going out on his own and Sonic won’t be there. 

It wouldn’t be the first time Tails went out on his own adventure but something just felt different this time. This time Sonic won’t be near when Tails is exploring the world on his own. This time Tails won’t be gone for a week but months instead.

This time, Sonic is watching instead of acting. Watching as Tails grows up. Sonic remembers back when he first found Tails. The fox stuck to his side like glue and Sonic allowed him to stick. He taught the fox everything he knows and now…

Now Tails is taking a big, humongous step in his life.

And Sonic will only be able to witness it.

Sonic let out a light sigh as Tails zipped his suitcase shut. He stretched a bit before turning and facing Sonic.

Sonic raised a brow, “Got everything?”

“Almost.” Was Tails simple answer as he “dusted off” his hand despite the workshop being as clean as it could possibly be.

“Almost? What else could there be? You’re taking half the workshop!”

Tails puffed his cheeks, “No I’m not! I’m taking, like, ten things!”

Sonic chuckled, “You sure? This place feels barren to me!”

Tails let out a groan as Sonic chuckled some more, “You’re so dramatic.”

“It’s part of my charm!”

“What charm?”

Sonic sent Tails a glare, “I’ll have you know I have a ton of charm.”

“Mmm, nah don’t see it.”

“Why you-”

Sonic pulled Tails over to him and immediately trapped him in a light headlock and began giving him a light noogie.

“Gah! Sonic!”

Tails broke from his hold with ease before trying to fix his fur, “...Meanie.”

“Hey, you’re leaving! I feel like I deserve to noogie you at least one more time.”

“You can noogie me when I come back!”

Sonic simply rolled his eyes in response, “Yyyeah, but that won’t be for a while and my patience to noogie you is non-existent.”

Tails let out a huff, “Not my fault you don’t have patience in general.”

Sonic let out a fake dramatic gasp, “I do too have good patience in general!”

“Do not!”

“How would ya know?”

“Sonic, I’ve lived with you for years. You think I wouldn’t know how far your patience can stretch?”

Sonic rolled his eyes again, “Can’t be that bad.”

Tails simply sent Sonic a look that spoke for him. Sonic sighed and shook his head before Tails and him both broke out into laughter. Once they calmed down Sonic’s brain remembered what started the conversation in the first place.

“So, what else do you need before you leave?”

Tails paused before letting out a sigh, “It ain’t much, I can grab it before I leave.”

“Sure you won’t forget it?”

“It’s kinda hard to forget.”

“What, is it, like, the Miles Electric?”

“Sonic, I packed that up first. I would be a fool not to.” 

“Well, geez! How am I supposed to know that!”

Tails raised a brow, “Cause you’ve been watching me pack this entire time?”

“You put way too much trust in my memory.”

At that Tails let out a sigh, “Chaos, what will you do without me?”

“...I don’t know.”

Sonic leaned his back against the table he was near and Tails gave him a confused look wondering why the mood in the room seemed to lower. 

“Gee, I don’t think I've ever seen you this upset before.”

“I’m not upset! Just…I don’t know. You know me and my feelings, bro, I ain’t good at them.”

Tails sighed, “It’s just going to be a few months. And even then I’m going to be calling almost every weekend.”

“I know! That’s why I am so confused about things! Gah, emotions are weird! Why can’t they, I don’t know, be like running!”

“I agree, emotions suck. Why can’t they simply be normal? Why must feelings be, gasp, feelings!?”

“Feelings need to learn how to read the room…and my brain.”

Both brothers laughed at that.

“I’d fistfight my feelings if they were a person,” Tails admitted like it was his darkest secret.

“Feelings is, like, that one annoying guy that comes and bothers you during either really big events or the smallest thing.”

“Big events are understandable but then sometimes it’s just- Why am I suddenly sad while making myself a snack! Did the snack personally send an encoded message to my brain or something?” Tails broke down laughing at the end of his sentence and Sonic joined him.

“The snack wants your tears because all of the snacks you eat are always dry.”

“No, they’re not!”

“Yes, they are!”

The mood in the room went back to normal as Tails and Sonic proceeded to continue talking about how awful each other’s snack tastes were. Everything had to calm down, however, when Tails picked up the suitcase and proceeded to pack it into the Tornado. The sun was high in the air as Tails did a quick check-up on the Tornado to make sure it was alright to go.

“Got everything? Did everything?” Sonic asked, tilting his head ever so slightly.

“Almost, I need to do one more thing,” Tails answered.

“Well, what is it-”

Sonic was cut off as Tails ran right at him, wrapping his arms around the hedgehog in a tight squeeze. Sonic immediately returned the hug and the brothers stood their ground for a solid minute before Tails spoke up.

“I love you bro.”

Silence only lasted a few seconds before Sonic chuckled, “Ew, sentimental words.”

Tails immediately pulled himself away, “Nevermind.”

“I was joking! I love ya, bro!” Sonic quickly responded as Tails let out a laugh.

“I know, I know.”

Silence made a comeback as Sonic and Tails stared the other down with smiles on their faces.

“Well, this is goodbye partner,” Sonic sighed.

“Yep. Once again, I’ll be calling on the weekends!” Tails shouted as he sat himself down in the pilot seat.

“If you don’t I’ll find you! That’s a threat!” Sonic shouted back.

“I’ll beat you up! Don’t test me!”

“Try me, air boy!”

“That insult doesn’t make sense!”

“You don’t make sense!”

Tails grinned a cocky smirk before promptly shouting, “At least I am a cryptic on purpose!”

“What does that mean?!”

“You know what it means!”

“No!? I don’t!?”

“Byeee~!”

With those words Tails turned the plane on as Sonic kept shouting at him.

“What!? I can’t hear you over the plane!”

“I hate-love you!”

“I hate-love you as well!”

“I hope your trip is safe and satisfactory!”

“Thanks! I’ll call ya later!”

“Bye!”

“Bye!”

With those words the plane made its take-off and Sonic stood where he was until the plane was out of sight. Once it was, Sonic let out a groan as he felt like a weight was added to his body.

“Well this sucks, I’m going to crash on the couch.”

And then he did.

[authorsharonforester]

Writing Sample: A Small Paper About Kids

At some point in my college career when I was studying to be an early childhood teacher, I was required to write a paper about infants and toddlers, and talk about their growth, development and

learning. I couldn't tell you how many times I've used all of those words, along with "multiculturalism" and "diversity" and "inclusion." Anyways... While most of my papers were long gone and lost, I did find this one that I still had stored online. I thought I would use it to share my writing style and sample on non-fictional writing, even though fictional writing is where my love pours out the most. I just love writing in general, which is why these blog posts even exist. The small paper is below. I hope you like it!

Infant/Toddler Growth, Development, And Learning ​ By Sharon Forester

Understand The Context Of Infant/Toddler Growth/Development

It is very essential to understand how an infant/toddler grows and develops because when you work the field, you want to do what is best for the child, demonstrating all the right things in front of the child to reach the set of goals that is made for them. We know that children are very honest, curious little things. They are also smarter than people give them credit for. They see everything and they tend to copy any example that is presented in front of them, and we all know that we don’t want all the bad things to stick on them as they grow older. Understanding how growing/development works on children helps caregivers/parents come up with the best ways of approaching the opportunities for learning and seeing the progress that is being made. Some matters about children are supposed to be really obvious in order for them to further grow, such as building relationships and trust with them. We can’t expect a child to follow our lead if they don’t trust or even know us. We also need to let them know that we care about them as individuals and that we are interested in who they are and what they want to do every step of the way. A child is not going to listen to us if we don’t show them kindness or support. The lack of kindness will only tell them that this world is unsafe for them and that there won’t be anyone willing to be there for them. Understanding what we need to do so we can be helpful to children and not be hurtful will allow us to build the proper curriculum for the classroom where we attend children daily. We want to be the kind of people that will cause a positive impact.

Redefining “Curriculum” For Infants And Toddlers

When looking at the word “curriculum,” the word is associated with topics and strategies that we write down for lessons that we feel is important to teach the children, so they can become mature, well-developed adults. I notice that a lot of people define curriculum in schools as all the paperwork and class tests that they need to do in the classroom so they can get the passing grades they need to pass grade levels and graduate. But that’s just it. Schools lately have not been about learning, it has been about passing, and that’s just getting worse as the years pass by, which is why we need to be caring teachers when working with children by remembering why we entered the position of being a teacher in the first place, and the same goes for parents. We need to let them know that school is important while teaching them that learning can be fun. If we have patience and understanding, then we will be able to function as good teachers and give children the help that they really need throughout their childhood. We need to be especially determined to be the best in the child’s youngest years, because those are the critical ages where we need to feed their minds and show them good examples to follow in life. Many adults don’t reach half the development in specific areas like social emotional development because their past caregivers/parents have not taught them those things before or after they enter school. Schools think that children need to already know how to read when they are first entering the classroom, and that’s not true. First-time schooling is the time period where children are supposed to first learn how to read in the first place. 99% come in not knowing how to read, and then when they have to do testing, they won’t know how to answer questions because they haven’t reached that point yet. The meaning of curriculum is all the important things that we need to be teaching children in a memorable way that will impact them for the good of the future, not fill their desks with paperwork after paperwork. In generalization, people don’t understand that every little thing you do with children is caught as a learning experience. Any little thing you do with a child will make or break a relationship or cause an emotion to stir depending how the teacher is impacting the child when they interact. Caregivers tend to not count passing time (such as getting ready in lines to transition from one activity to another) as a moment of learning as school hours. Of course these transitions are indeed as worth it as any other opportunity for children to learn things during school hours. When teachers create their own strategies for getting children ready to stand in line to go somewhere or transition to another activity, they are learning that there is an order in this world that they are all aware that they need to follow, just like anyone else does. They learn to identify the appropriate times of being silent or loud, in control or all over the place.

Respecting Infants And Toddlers

Respecting toddlers and infants means that we need to be aware that infants and toddlers are not objects and they need to be treated as equal human beings like we treat anyone else in our daily lives. A perfect common example of this is when a caretaker or a parent is taking care of a baby and knows there are going to be times the child is going to need diaper changes or help with potty breaks, but they tend to see it as something that they need to do and get over with instead of seeing it as a moment of bondage to strengthen relationships. The wrong way of taking care of bathroom time is quickly scooping up the child and getting the matter over with in silence as you distract the child with a toy to get the job done. The correct way to approach a diaper-changing session is by talking to the baby, letting them know that you are approaching them and informing them about what you are going to do with them before taking action. This is just one of many, many examples of good/bad behaviors between caregivers/parents and infants/toddlers. What I see the most often is when a child cries for a need or a want and the adult dismisses the behavior forcefully by demanding the child to stop being ridiculous without responding to how he feels and how they can help them feel better, or they just ignore the behavior all together, expecting them to stop crying at some point. A good caregiver/parent will respond to how the child is feeling in the moment, showing that they care about them and their feelings and helping them recognize the emotion they are feeling and guide them to learn how to handle and express them in an appropriate manner, such as encouraging them to use their words and not their bodies meanwhile having them comprehend why a situation has gone the way it has. ​ A short informative article about gaining wisdom on how to educate infants and toddlers to bring awareness to new parents and teachers alike. Link to the article: https://hubpages.com/education/Infant-Toddler-Growth-Development-And-Learning

[cosmichighpriestess]

See how I overcame so much adversity with so much grace, so much patience, so much compassion, so much forgiveness & so much wisdom? I'm so grateful every moment, I'm unbothered, unmoved, at peace and living proof that with God anything is possible. I'm so grateful for the experiences that made me unshakable and unbreakable. It doesn't matter what threat or situation is thrown my way, I know God has my back. It often takes me leaving people's lives, and watching me go from sad & depressed one moment; transmuting energy (because they were projecting negative energy onto me). To, being optimistic & happy (my true core signature frequency energy) for them to register that I was very valuable, very rare and never needed them. They just couldn't see it because my embodiment of love made them feel like they were the prize. They thought they were the only guy in the world and that I should chase them. I'm not co-dependant on their acceptance.

When they were supposed to step up to the plate and become the champion, the leader, the one who earned me & their self mastery through passing spiritual tests & initiations. Yes, they began to believe they were the prize and that I had to fight for them, that they were really the princess in the tower. I became my own prince just to deal with their non stop judgement and abuse. But I just laughed at their poor decisions to completely fumble me, the bag; the real prize. They fell for karmic women who just used them and pretended to be the one and cheated on me their gift their, divine feminine then realized how they mistreated me. I am my most valuable possession. I am a real life Goddess, and demand to be treated like one otherwise they are not aligned with me and don't belong in my life.

They thought it would be easy to manipulate me, gaslight me, slander my name, silence me, speak lies, love bomb me, control me, breadcrumb me, downplay who I am and they couldn't admit they fumbled the ball. Some people actually believe I don't know who I am and that I don't know my worth or what I bring to the table because I'm humble. I'm humble because I humble myself because it feels good to be humble and I believe the most beautiful people are humble, not less than. I'm either too much, or not worthy enough or too humble, too confident, too loud or too quiet ect. I was isolated for most of my life but it wasn't always my choice. I have a very extroverted side but it was Source who showed me their true self.

They showed me their true self because they thought I was beneath them, so they thought they had a free pass to treat me how they wanted to but really truly God was exposing them to me before God showed them who I really am. A happy, abundant, peaceful, loving, positive, kind, respectful being. Not perfect, but perfectly imperfect. Being around my presence is a once in a lifetime opportunity because there's no one else like me and there never will be. I'm not separate from anyone, & I'm not better than anyone but I know my worth and that simply offends most people once they realize they can't manipulate me. They mistake true confidence and self love with arrogance. No one lacks any confidence. They just have complete confidence in lack, in themselves. You don't ever have to learn or try to be confident you just have to decide what you're confident about.

Once the words are spoken aloud about my self love & worth are spoken to people with self hatred. Their faces turn to hate and envy. They love to see others joining in on the hate parade and hate how I love myself in a world committed to bringing me down. They try to outcast me because they can't stand in my presence alone because my presence exposes their shadows. They resent me because they resent God and have a difficult relationship with God. I don't exist to be a doormat, a dance monkey or a people pleaser. I have no time for drama. That's not who I am. God gave me power, wisdom, discernment and self mastery. In many ways God has molded me and fixed parts of my programming that didn't allow me to see who I really am. Unconditional love and a Goddess.

I'm not just speaking for myself, I'm speaking for everyone that had to fight to know themselves and stand up for themselves even when your character was attacked just for speaking up about an issue. And you were not believed by the people who believed your abuser over your very real experience. Your determination to stand in your truth, to be your authentic self even when you're being projected upon and hated on, to never give up on yourself, to forgive those who hurt you, to be the light in the dark, to show compassion when you were given none deserves a standing ovation and you will be rewarded greatly for standing up for the truth. See how you can respond to challenges with more love and more compassion in your authenticity and truth. And fall in love with your spirit.

[tobiasdrake]

I don't think the Tower of Time likes me very much.

Really driving home the idea that I need to learn patience and not to rush stupidly into things. This is almost like training. Highly lethal training.

But given my contract with Quarble, does lethality even mean anything? I'll become a For Realsies Messenger and get sent to some point in time to... I guess, deliver a message... if I make it through without dying. But since I can't die in any way that matters, this is more of a training gauntlet than a mortal test.

Is that a bug of the Messenger system, or a feature?

NOPE FUCK THIS PLACE

Third option: Cruel prank. A cruel prank of the Messenger system. Shopkeeper's watching me on CCTV and laughing as my flesh melts from my skin and my bones are ground into powder.

To be honest, there's something beautiful about this space we're in. I know we're, like... temporally unmoored or something. But you can see the Sea of Stars out there in the great beyond and it really makes you think about how small you are in the grand....

...

*Ahem*

You can see the Sea of Stars out there in the great beyond and it really makes you think about how small you are in the grand scheme of things. Like an insignificant mote of dust, made meaningful only by your collisions with the other motes around you, in an ever-changing whirlwind of noise and light.

It's moments like this that make our bonds with each other resonate so strongly. Because in our own way, we're all stars in that vast cosmos. But it's only together that we can form into constellations.

...

Even if some of us shine a little brighter than others.

My spine was punched up a mountain by a naked wrestler I am entitled to a little bit of narcissism right now. The cosmos owes me that.

...Luana?

Probably not. She looks much more like my new buddy-pal, the Monkshroom.

These are definitely Messengers, yeah. <.< >.> And I call this one. This jacked, cool-looking guy is totally me.

Oh, goddammit. I already called dibs on that other one but this guy is way more jacked and manly. Is it too late to change my mind?

Final corridor before boss. Typically, this is where a portal to the Shopkeeper would be, so he can brief me on what's about to happen.

But. I guess. Since his room is a physical space in this very tower, there can't be portals into it from here. So I'm just fucked.

Dammit, I like bantering with him.

Nope, never mind. I'm just terrible with pattern recognition. Haha, banter time!

To be honest, I'm about half-convinced that the Tower of Time is made from solid chaos, with rooms that move and change on a whim. Like CastleVania. The physical place, not the franchise as a whole.

The important thing is that now that we exist in physical space--

FUCK ON A CRACKER AND CALL IT COITUS CRINGLES Why not!? We're already elbow-deep in your ancient secrets; What could possibly be so important that it needs to be kept under extra layers of super special bonus secrecy!

*heavy sigh*

Wait, the test was for willpower? Okay, so I guess that answers that. Feature. The real test was being stubborn enough to not give up.

Really makes you wonder about those three losers who died in the foyer. What catastrophe of low self-esteem brought them all the way to the Tower of Time only to give up and quit three lasers in?

Well, if that's what this is about then I'll have you know, I am very talented at dying fruitlessly. Quarble can vouch for me. I never learn my lesson.

"You are a testament to your goddess's teachings."

THANK YOU.

Wait, is this going to hurt? Because I've just been carved up by so many lasers that I'm pretty sure they gave me retinopathy. I wasn't really looking for another fight.

HOLY SHIT

That is DEFINITELY the Artificer. Or at the very least, Artificer-adjacent. This whole tower already had an Artificer-esque vibe but this reeks of Artificer. Blue robot? Pink crystals? This can't not be Artificer tech.

...so much for being a non-combatant. He's had time to upgrade. Goddess, I hope he did not take your advice and install a mobile Eclipse Cannon in his chest.

You know what, never mind. He's still basically a non-combatant. This guy is all flash and no substa--

*indignant* Well I wouldn't have if I didn't get distracted by me underestimating him! I refuse to take responsibility for this.

This seems safe. CATCH ME NOW, CHILD LABOR VIOLATIONS!

Why do I yell things?

[sophieinwonderland]

Where's the line between roleplay and plurality? Where is it?

My muse has started to have tangible presence when we "put on the mask" of being him. It's almost like there's been at least a partial fusion between our of construct of him that we use to figure things out and said mental state. He's talking to us, commenting on things going on in meatspace, arguing about autobiographical information, and seems to display independent behaviors. He tried to take dominant control when we were playing rpg!him earlier, and has seemingly adjusted parts of that persona (ex changed the way we were having him speak to suit his tastes more). Comments about his opinion that our fellow players don't sound enough like their characters and other similar opinions have been made.

We've had pseudo-headmates that felt similarly before. But this is still spooky and has been getting more intense over the last few months. It's gotten to the point where his presence feels similarly to our other headmates/soulbonds. I got scared when, as aforementioned, he tried to clamber fully on to front during game session.

I just don't know how to deal with this and move forward. To be quite frank, I'm also worried about the ethics of the situation from my game master's view, given that he could be disruptive or worse, it could take a toll on me. She doesn't deserve to deal with that possibility. Aside from that, I'm worried about this being another false positive, I'm worried about it being real, I'm worried about how to handle this, I'm terrified of this being a sign that my mental health is on a decline. Even if he is real I can't just let him wander free, considering that he's not a good person in a realistic enough manner that I don't trust him.

Can anyone with more experience point me in a good direction or comment some input? Especially plurals/multiples who regularly roleplay? I feel like I'm missing something or going mad or wishful thinking it. This isn't my first rodeo but I'm still lost and uncertain. There's either someone in there or some real impressive smoke and mirrors going on in my brain and I'd like to know so I can plan around it. It's such an edge case I'm going to metaphorically cut my hands trying to touch it.

Thank you for your patience, have a lovely day. Use this as a break from annoying discourse or something?

PS: Puppeting test for sentience doesn't work. I'm a godshard and I can force headmates I know exist to do things they don't want to. Sorry. If you have alternatives, that'd be nice.

It sounds like he's already way crossed that line to me. Normal RP characters don't typically start commenting on your life of their own accord.

I've heard of plenty of tulpas who have started out as roleplay characters. And with that in mind, I wouldn't consider this to necessarily be a sign of worsening mental health since this is something I've heard about with non-disordered systems as well. The main point here is that you're not alone.

My own suggestion is to work with him. You're concerned about him being disruptive. Explain very clearly why you think him running wild can be harmful or disruptive to the game. Don't try to force him to comply, but give him your reasonings and set boundaries.

If you fight him, he might fight back. If you ignore him or treat him like he's not real, he won't understand your boundaries and why they exist.

Best of luck to you all! 💖

[your-mom-friend]

I hope that you’re really not upset with my question, since I’m a Muslim as well, and I genuinely wanted to know what got you into this state, and I’ve been including you in my prayers for the longest time now, especially since I’ve been following you for years.

You’re a kind soul, a caring one, and you’ve suffered a lot in your lifetime as had millions of other children, some that I know personally who endured this type of sexual trauma from priests. I know the anger you experience regarding the abuse, and unfortunately I know it too well that it’s engraved into my bones. But hear me out, won’t you? Give it a last chance this one Ramadan, forget the priest—may he burn in hell for his wrongdoings—and forget the extremists you’ve encountered, just for a while. I promise you that you’ll find all the answers you are looking for when you read the Quran of your own volition, your own will, in your own time, instead of it being forced upon you and down your throat and just being taught the words without explanation. Remember that you are never alone in the struggle, never. The Prophet himself has survived countless hardships, and so many of the Companions—both female and male—have endured the worst torture from their parents and their siblings and their families just for declaring that they are now Muslims—their stories are there for us for a reason, and they’re one of the things that changed my entire worldview. And remember with me, that in Islam, in its core, that we are beings created for Heaven, Jannah, not for eternal existence in Dunya that we cannot survive without suffering, and that this entire world is but a passage and a test, and soon enough it’ll be over once and for all, and your patience and forgiveness and kindness will all be rewarded adequately, and you’d watch those who have wronged you burn in hell for eternity. He, the priest, might be dead now, but he’s being tormented in his grave for what he did, and he’ll be questioned about it on the day of judgement, so fear not, this world is but a temporary stop that we’ll all soon get out of.

I know that at first glance you might think that I’m just trying to coax you back into religion without knowing what I’m speaking of, just like so many have tried to do before, but I’m someone who almost became a complete atheist until two and a half years ago for the same reasons. And there must be a reason why there’s hundreds of thousands of converts to Islam over the past five months, right? So I’m reaching out to you out of love and respect, and that you’ll always be dear to my heart 🤍

Ramadan Mubarak to u, Rem <33

Ramadan Mubarak to you too, darling. I hope you’re able to fulfil all your fasts and that your prayers are answered.

But respectfully, I’m not going to be approaching Islam again. I’ve met no extremists, and if there is a hell then that guy is absolutely there. I carry no doubts over this.

But it seems you didn’t read my last answer. My decision to leave Islam ultimately has little to do with trauma, and more to do with the fact that I don’t believe in a perfect god. I don’t believe in a divine plan. I don’t believe in the core concept of Allah

I’m not looking for answers, I’m happy with my current spiritual outlook. I do good for this world no matter how small and I see it reflected back at me in a million tiny ways, and I can live with that.

I understand how you feel. You as a Muslim have likely grown up hearing that non-Muslims go to hell, that apostasy is one of the greatest crimes there is. To be a Kafir is to guarantee your place in hell, and you genuinely care for me and don’t want me to face that. It’s terrifying to imagine that people you know to be good could go to hell just because they were too prideful to accept Allah into their lives.

But understand, this fear is a contributing factor to why I’ll never go back. How can I believe that Allah is Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim when he will send good people to hell just for not believing in him? By this logic I could do all the good in the world, I could give sadqah every day for the rest of my life, dedicate myself to housing the homeless, and still I’d go to hell because I did these things in the name of helping people and not in the name of Allah

I’m so happy you’re able to find peace within Islam, and I truly, genuinely hope this Ramadan goes well for you. I have wonderfully fond memories of Ramadan, from the energy to the iftars and of Eid, truly, Ramadan Kareem, my friend, and thank you for keeping me in your prayers. May Allah bless you with all that is good for you, Inshallah

But please respect that I will continue to live my life the way I see fit.

Jazakhallah Khair

[chrisemrysfics]

Hello~!

A little post to mention that I will make adjustments to the blog sooner or later, as I decided to change what I do when I have fic ideas, I will make a proper note to share on my WIP as well as here, but long story short I realized that the whole "multi chaptered story that is cohesive/coherent" format (aka the way my fics on AO3) are takes a lot of effort that I just don't have the space to do regularly anymore, and I want to try working with just... babbling about ideas on this blog instead, and only share on AO3 if I have completed stories or series of short stories that relate to each other in term of background context.

I technically did mean to do this on this blog before, but because I still "pushed" myself to try and write "proper stories", I ended up never having the energy to be active on this blog (pretty sure now that all I did is make my brain unwilling to touch fics ideas ^^"). So now I'm hoping to be much more relaxed, and vibe on this blog sharing my ideas even if they never end up being "proper stories".

I am already testing this method with the ideas that have been most present in my head for a while, the blog is technically open and active but also I'm still working on the pages, you can find it here!

That blog is all about a crossover but each individual fandom/protagonist character have their own personal story, so in theory you can also find lots of stuff for the fandom you know even if you're not interested in the rest!

The crossover protagonists are: Peter Parker, Allen Walker, Link (BotW/TotK), Wei Wuxian, Ireth (Elf OC for DAI). There's also canon love interest(s) for each character, there's a lot that's not about the ships, but they are still present so that's either greater interest or squicks out, either way is totally fine~!

These ships are: Starker, Neallen and Poker Pair, Wild/Twilight and Wild/Gan(ondorf from TotK), Wangxian, Ireth/Cullen and Ireth/Dorian (with occasioanl mention/au where Ireth/Bull is also a thing).

The crossover blog, and the crossover ideas, is very fluid as I didn't want to "set in stone" details when it felt more fun to consider the various possible variations of the base ideas. Which, you know, is a bit hard to do with "proper stories" and why it made my inspiration lower a lot, because I love to just... vibe with ideas. Like, for a while I did enjoy figuring out how to make my ideas into "proper stories", but I guess my writing style changed? And now I enjoy a lot more "non traditional" storytelling.

So yeah, expect adjustments on this blog, a note about what I'm changing here and on my AO3 WIPs (which will also be marked "completed" because I now consider them finished since they all have a bonus that detailed my ideas, except Meet me Halfway (didn't want to spoil too much when I made the first bonus but now I need to make second bonus that does spoil XD), and hopefully a bit more activity here where I share about my existing fics and new ideas, and don't forget to check out the crossover blog as I'll be more active there!

(I'll likely try to reblog from the crossover blog, but I want to keep this blog for my actual existing fics and other ideas external to the crossover, so yeah if you're curious about the crossover itself or the individual/fandom-specific stories, check out the crossover blog!).

And as always: thank you for your patience and your interest <3

PS: feel free to drop into my inbox here and/or the crossover blog for any questions, comments, or messages you might want to leave! I'm still very much around and don't mind it all at ^w^

[offbeat-manga-ships]

i have finally finished see you in my 19th life after so many connection problems that make loading a webpage with 100+ images a test on anyone's patience. but what pains me the most is to send off a series that started so strong that i was like "this is def at least a 9! i'm so into this couple!" with a 6 out of 10.

and it does feel weird to give that score when i still maintain that i loved the couple. well, maybe not 'loved' anymore, but i at least really liked (more on that later). not only that: comparing to some other manwhas that are also roughly dom f/sub m (beware the villainess, the lady and her butler), jieum and seoha are the ones i like the most, but i still gave it a lower score than those other 2.

but after a long and hard think, i don't think i'm being unreasonable. even if i didn't have some personal hang-ups with some of the manwha's decisions, the highest i think i could go for this is a 7. that is both for plot reasons and for losing steam for a good while there in the middle.

personal hang-ups wise, i think it's fair to lower just a single point considering how annoyed i was at multiple things. first one was making such a premise and yet never delving any deeper than your usual "living long is hell" trope that locks so many writers' imaginations into it. at first it was a minor thing. i was pretty miffed at how this person who has lived in the skin of both men and women never has any exploration at all about their two-way identity (both in gender and in the continuum person i.e. the soul vs. each body they "wear"). for starters, we only ever see lives where she was a girl and that was the first red flag for me. even while knowing someone she met in a life where she was a man, not only we are never shown that life, but the person she knew is completely forgotten in the story and their emotional importance seems non-existent.

on the gender thing, i'd probably never lower the score only for that. i'm used to it not being of any importance in pretty much 98% of the manga i read, (even if they try to trick you into thinking it's important. hello genderbender manga). i'm used to being invisible in media. like, it's not fine but it's fine. whatever. what really stoked the flames of my hate was the conclusion of the reincarnation aspect of the character.

something i really, really value in stories is how they manage a character's psyche or flow throughout time. i especially love really long-lived characters and, even more especially, immortal ones. for someone who has been so negatively impacted by change since i was a child, it's so refreshing and comforting for me to see the dynamics of change in such a huge scale in someone's life (when done well) but still gradually in a human way. which is why it really pisses me off whenever the only thing an author can say about a character who lives a very long life is how it's synonymous with suffering. i sincerely need this trope to die. doctor who might be the only piece of media i've ever seen who understands how life is indeed full of possibilities while death is just so final. when we have life we, well. we keep living. with all the things that come with living in this world that can be both wonderful and sorrowful. and to make my most important point, a thing is not important either because it ends or it doesn't, and thus i find it idiotic to want to have your cake and eat it too by trying to sell both that life is only worth it when it ends and that love is only valid when it never ends.

when the manwha presented the situation that for jieum to stop remembering she'd have to give up on seoha and fall for someone else (that person being her first great love that she supposedly made a deal with god to find again and thus keeps remembering her past lives), i thought "finally some good juice!!". this is a good conflict because jieum will not give up on seoha and will not stop loving him, but for that to be the case she will have to come to terms that it will end someday and she will keep on living. but instead of having the mentality she had before meeting seoha (the apathy towards other humans because of fear of getting close with them), she already has learned or been reminded that as long as you live, you will always find people to love and you always have the potential to find a reason to wake up in the morning if you are willing to open yourself to the world. just like she found seoha.

plus!! an added bonus is the commentary on how the person you were many, many years ago might have wanted something really really badly and might have loved in a way that seemed like it was supposed to be the only one forever. but life doesn't necessarily work that way. you might really REALLY love someone when you're young and it might still end. it doesn't mean it wasn't important and it doesn't mean you'd have to choose them again when you meet them later in life. your circumstances change. you keep going and you meet new people and you fall in love deeply again. i was ready to forgive this manwha for the somewhat shallow characterization of our main character until that point because it would be incredibly mature of an author to put this kind of message across.

but of course. it was not the case. jieum did not have a great love in the past she'd mistakenly tied herself to find and love again in the future haha of course not, the only TRUE LOVE has to be the one she has now, we couldn't possibly give the idea that it's possible to love more than one person throughout your lifetime with your whole heart. of course she HAS to be able to die for good now because we can't have our character be implied to keep on living without this love of the present and living long is hell anyways, who could ever survive that haha. and nooo you weren't actually seeing the only time it is ever shown jieum as a guy SIKE she was crossdressing!! in this life she is actually a girl again! of course we can't show her as a guy so we don't have the implication that she could ever be bi-gender or bisexual or that the love she feels for a guy now might be queer! no way!

i just…. it is just so unbelievably cowardly. the respect i had for this manwha went down even though, sentimental guy as i am, i still have positive feelings for it. with the concepts i described being as important as they are to me, it's still very nice of me to not have dropped the score that much at all lol because it actually hurt me to read the story being that much of a normie when it has such a subversive foundation as a long strip manwha. as i said, i still really liked the couple. a dominant female lead that actually stays dominant!! a sub guy who doesn't need to prove himself "as a man" either in love or life in general!! (plus he is disabled and is not cured of it!) i was so happy to have that. i absolutely loved their designs. i mentioned seoha before. how he is the one i was so happy about because he is not that typical muscular broad-shouldered dark haired super tall main guy who has to be swoon worthy. he is cute and he stays cute. but i also loved jieum. i love how everything about her design strays from the typical cute east asian beauty trend. she has sharp eyes and sharp features in general, a business woman haircut and, i think, is reasonably tall and sturdy. i also love her design a lot.

it's precisely because of those designs that i don't even mind that their physical 9 year age difference doesn't show. i thought it was about avoiding that quoteonquote controversial aspect (though if you ask me, having old asf jieum (juwon) pretty much falling for 9 yo seoha is even more controversial, but i guess that didn't register as weird to anyone just cause she looked around his age lol this manwha is extremely Looks biased) but whatever yknow. it's for my appreciation of them as a couple that i still give it a score as high as i did. there's still the fact that i hated the side pairing which might be a personal thing that lowered my enjoyment, but i think there are still many aspects of it that decrease its quality without it being just a matter of my own taste.

for starters, there was no deeper exploration of jieum's psyche aside from "seoha saved her" while seoha got a well done character arc. on the one hand, i understand this. the author seems to really like the kind of dynamic she established for them (as she said in the afterword, she wanted a story of a poor girl who saves a rich heir instead of the usual rich heir saves poor girl in korean dramas and i commend everyone who tries to flip conventional gender-based dynamics around), and it's actually hard, as i've been realizing, for authors to nail a dominant female character being vulnerable while still being dominant. the overwhelming majority just doesn't really know how to work with that. as i said, i suppose they're not as in the concept of projection of "power" in relation to gender in relation to a person's deep emotional state and how to work all that in without stepping on each other's toes. i can forgive that, even though i wish they'd do better. i can especially forgive it when an author decides to go a bit light on character exploration as to not crash the image they're doing of them as they are now. why spoil a dom f character with misguided writing (be it one's own vulnerability or the vulnerability of being in love) like so many have done? i can respect that decision.

however, that is not all. there were so many aspects of the story that just stayed behind while the author made way for new ones to just either get resolved really quickly or stay behind as well (to give screen time to the damn second couple of all things). i have said again and again that storytelling in manga/wha/hua has been getting worse. on the one hand, it can be seen as a consequence of the fact that there is much more of it now because the many barriers that authors had to face have been torn down because of the internet. but another aspect that seems to be permeating stories nowadays is something i can't say it's absolutely true, but i just can't stop noticing:

the closer contact authors have with comments from readers are simply not a good thing for storytelling. people get mad at the mere presence of conflict and their lack of patience can be seen reflected back on the work. stories have no patience anymore to actually work out a plot. they have no gall to dose their emotional conflicts according to what real people go through because readers can't stop crying about "why aren't the characters communicating??? why isn't this problem being solved right now??". so it's fast romance and fast conflict and fast resolution all the damn time because no one can stand to wait anymore and the pressure on the author grows. not to mention that i think they have very little time to work out the plot in the first place. while that has always been a problem for every mangaka since the dawn of times, it still surprises me how many chapters get out for a korean manwha in such a little amount of time. (it's true that both the story and quantity of things to draw seem to be less dense than your average 40 page plotty manga, but still.)

and to get back on track, in this story it's no different. aside from seoha's pretty good emotional arc, i can't say any of the manwha's plot was actually close to well done (maybe just the very beginning and also the final arc for people who enjoy the kind of ending it provided?). from all the different possibilities of plot presented, i still wonder why we couldn't have given an appropriate amount of focus to at least 3 of them (like, give these characters something to do!! lol!): 1) i wish we could have stayed on the objective of re-establishing the shaky business that is the hotel that was so beloved by seoha's late mom. characters having a concrete objective and actually working would do wonders to show who they are as people who function in society. there is a reason "career"-type manga do pretty well. 2) seoha's crazy rich family. complicated family dynamics, especially when the family is a rich nest of snakes is filled to the brim with potential. like come on! someone in this family ordered a car accident to take a little kid out of the picture! we could have done so much with a cast of characters who are reasonably horrible and a pretty high stakes mystery which relates to 3) the succession of the company (and seoha's plan to install his female cousin). that meeting of plots would give strength to the story overall and show the path for our characters' lives after giving up on the major company life (i love that seoha doesn't want in on it). unfortunately, it becomes pretty evident why we can't have anything of the sort. this manwha does not know how to write horrible people. they're always cartoonishly mean and never allowed to be attractive. this is one of the many manga who can't stop making a link between an average/lower than average appearance and how horrible the character is (with one single exception). all of the pretty characters who have shown to be a bit horrible are never "as low" or as unintelligent. i wouldn't trust an actual nuanced perspective on seoha's horrible family without this bias and i can bet everything that the author would feel the need to redeem the most attractive of the bunch.

so we have rushed plot after rushed plot which makes me be even a little bit surprised this series has scores as high as it has on MAL & AL. putting that together with 1) a bit of a thinly written protagonist (as much as i like her) when compared to the amount of complexity the premise of the story inputs in her that results in only safe&boring conclusions for her and 2) a romance that lost its strength on the second half by being a bit too squeaky clean perfect - i think my mixed opinion of this one overall is more than justified.

[ailtrahq]

During a Sep. 27 hearing, policymakers hammered Gary Gensler over the Security and Exchange Commission’s (SEC) non-compliance with requests for documents including records related to bankrupt crypto exchange FTX and its founder Sam Bankman-Fried. Rep. Patrick McHenry voiced skepticism regarding Gensler’s commitment to remedying bipartisan legislative concerns and protecting investors, noting that Congress’s patience was “wearing thin”. 👉 @SECGov Chair @GaryGensler continues his blatant disregard for Congress in pursuit of a radical agenda that threatens the integrity of our financial markets, protection of investors, & our economic competitiveness. Our patience is wearing thin.📺 #WATCH my opening remarks ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/MTJIdNaBGD— Patrick McHenry (@PatrickMcHenry) September 27, 2023 “Bitcoin does not meet the Howey test which is the law of the land about being an investment contract,” Gensler said about treating Bitcoin as a security. The SEC Chair did however not categorically affirm Bitcoin’s commodity status. Several policymakers mentioned cryptocurrency and FTX’s November 2022 implosion, pointing to billions in investor losses and a handful of bankruptcies caused by widespread malpractice by executives. While retaining rhetoric that speaks to blatant fraud and misconduct in the crypto industry, the SEC boss stressed his view of digital asset operators actively ignoring existing financial laws and added that cryptocurrencies fall within the scope of existing securities rules. [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tnv9MRh0GM[/embed] Gensler’s time at Goldman Sachs was mentioned by Rep. Tom Emmer. The policymaker implied that the SEC is no longer an impartial regulator due to Gensler’s political agendas and affiliations with Wall Street stakeholders. Rep. Andy Barr also opined that Gensler was “kneecapping” financial markets with overboard bureaucracy while Rep. Warren Davidson suggested that Congress fire Gensler. Speaking on spot Bitcoin exchange-traded funds (ETFs), the Grayscale case, and approving Bitcoin ETF filings, the SEC Chair pointed to his commission’s continued review of submissions. The regulator delayed its decision on ARK 21Shares’ ETF application and other filings until January 2024, as crypto.news reported. Gensler added that the SEC could engage U.S. courts over a ruling that found America’s securities watchdog “arbitrary and capricious” in denying a spot Bitcoin ETF while the commission approved futures-related crypto funds. In a letter on Sep. 26, some 29 members of the House Financial Services Committee urged the SEC to suspend rulemaking until policy impact can be assessed. Due to an impending government shutdown, the SEC may operate without over 90% of its staff over a period of time. Although this development might hamper internal reviews and previous ETF decision deadlines, the SEC acknowledged at least one filing ahead of schedule. Source

[cursivebloodlines]

It felt foreign to him, how aggravated he was by the woman he loved so much and had waited for so long to love him back the way he adored her. Or how angered he felt in general! It was unusual to him. Sure, Logan could get riled up from time to time but not like this. Nothing like this. Wasn’t love supposed to bring out the best in people, not the worst? Logan hated this, even if he refused to acknowledge that at the time. This was so…unlike them. There had their little bickering moments, and he recalled plenty of people telling him in the past, you pair are like an old married couple. The thought alone made him want to roll his eyes now. At the time, he’d scoffed, denied it. But maybe they had a point after all. Normally, it wouldn’t have bothered him but it sure as hell bothered him now. The way Dani could get so easily under his skin was unlike something he’d ever known before. People could be annoying at times but he was always the type of guy to let it go over his head. Catch his bad side, though, and all hell could break loose. The last thing he expected was to unleash that side of him on her of all people. Not evil, just an asshole. Was that really the best comeback she could muster up?! “Oh, great. That makes it so much better! Thank you! Glad we had this chat so you could clarify!” Logan said loudly, his voice filled with too much sarcasm. “And if that’s the case, you must be looking in a mirror right now because you’re an asshole, too. But you don’t want to admit it because — again — you and your stupid complex!” He said with exasperation, throwing his hands up in the air incredulously. Terrible people? What was she talking about? How did she misread being as bad as each other and equate it to being goddamn horrible people? Was she mad? “No, because that’s not what I was sayi—my god, you are so — why are you being such a pain in my ass?” He grumbled. Not the best of retaliations by all means but he was beyond fed up, Danielle testing his patience more and more. “No, because you’re just saying it for the sake of saying it now. Not because you actually mean it! It’s not the same!” Now who was being petty. It was hard to think logically or with reason when all emotions were up in the air and it had started to feel like they were arguing for the sake of it. Not addressing the issues at hand here, not completely yet. Did he even want her to admit they were as bad as each other? Probably not. Because what did it resolve, really? But in that moment it was hard to ascertain what mattered or what didn’t because everything did. Everything mattered. “You’re only saying that because you’re not in contention to win it. Otherwise, you’d want it.” Amazing to think they were grown adults, having an argument about a non-existent reward. Maybe their brains were not existent too, at this rate, it wouldn’t surprise him! Anyone who knew her knew she would absolutely want that award, no matter how hard she tried to deny it. She was only saying screw it because he wasn’t giving it to her. That’s what his logic told him anyway.

His eyes widened at her next actions. Was she really sticking her tongue out at him in the middle of a fight right now? Logan wanted to…he wanted to laugh? It was such a Danielle thing to do and yet he was so frustrated he didn’t know how to react! So, he did the thing any sane person would have done: he mimicked her. And then… “Ow!” Logan yelped as if she had hit him hard or set him on fire, yanking his arm back away from her. “No, you grow up!”It was their usual childish behaviour but since when was it acceptable to do that in the middle of a perfectly mature and heated argument?! “You just hit me, did that and I’m the one who needs to grow up? Real mature, Dani. What are you, five?” And then knowing his impersonation (that he felt as vividly accurate, even if he did say so himself — anything to toot his own horn, give him a bigger head because clearly, she wasn’t going to inflate his ego) of her wound her up more, he imitated her saying ‘that’s a terrible impersonation of me!’ In the exact same voice as before, crossing his arms over his chest and mumbling “no it’s not,” like a petulant child who had been told off by his mother and is too much of a coward to back-chat her so resorting to mutter his protest under his breath because was immature like that.

What sort of rebuttal was that? Didn’t Logan literally just say nobody was perfect only moments ago? So, what was she hoping to achieve by drilling into him that he wasn’t perfect? A part of him was tempted to point out that wasn’t what she’d been telling him as of late but he managed to keep his big mouth shut. Barely. “Literally just stated that nobody’s perfect. Of course, that includes me, obviously. Gold star for you for pointing that one out.” Any other day, he would’ve told her she was the exception. That in a world full of imperfect people, she was the sole, perfect one of them all. Back to calling him a prick again, Logan scoffed at that. About to talk over her, he stopped when she cut herself off. What had she wanted to say? Tell her she hates him again? “And you what?” Logan said, asking her to finish what she started essentially. The look on her face…he wondered what was running rampantly through her mind right now.

Danielle’s reaction to his apology was the standard. The usual everyone used automatically, even if it wasn’t okay. Okay, not necessarily everyone, that was a bit too much generalising but it was a common one. Did she really think it was okay? It seemed it but still, Logan couldn’t help the niggling feeling in the pit of his chest. That he’d said some awful things, by starting this stupid fight in the first place, had spoken to her in ways he never had before…it wasn’t right. It wasn’t okay. So, why was she saying it was? Why didn’t he feel in the least bit relieved? Logan shook his head when she mentioned being stupid. No. He couldn’t let her blame herself for this mess. It was his own guilty conscience playing tricks on him, convincing himself of things that weren’t true. His guilt, knowing what they were doing was wrong. How he needed to make it right, and chose not to for now. Leave one’s mind spiraling and sooner or later, someone would crumble. “No,” he finally protested, shaking his head one more time. “You weren’t. It was…no. You weren’t being stupid.” They both had their stupid moments, depending on which part of that fight they were referring their stupidity to. The childish argument about a fictional award? Her swatting his arm? Him using his fake Dani voice? Yes, they both had stupid moments in that fight. It clouded over the real problems at hand, the ones he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge. It was hard, this was all very new to them. Deep down, Logan knew who was responsible. His guilt tried to pin the blame on her words when in reality, it was him. It was all him.

More. So, he needed to do better is what he heard. Reassuring words weren’t enough then what would be enough? What would reach her minimum threshold? Actually, no. Forget the bare minimum, Logan wanted to be so much more than that to her. Dani deserved nothing but the best and if she had been in this situation with anyone else and not him, he’d have suggested she drop them like that. Even though he knew full well she was right, and she had no reason to be ashamed or feel guilty for that…it didn’t change the ache he felt in his chest. All this time, he’d been waiting for her to love him back in the way he loved her. And now he had her, he was already screwing it up. All this time and he wasn’t even doing enough to ensure she knew how much he wholeheartedly adored her. Everyone around him knew it long before he did. The situation he put them in. Logan knew what he had to do, but carrying said task out was the struggle. But he had to do something sooner or later. Because he knew she’d eventually tire of waiting around for him to do what needed to be done. Here he thought being told she didn’t feel the same way was heartbreaking enough back then. But this? This was an ache that penetrated much deeper than that. Having everything he ever wanted and still managing to screw it up. It was no wonder none of his other relationships ever lasted. “Don’t be sorry for that. For anything. it’s…it’s not your fault. I put us in this situation.” Logan took a slow, deep breath. “What else do you need? Words aren’t enough so…what else?” Hoping it was easy enough to decipher he wasn’t talking about the obvious. About finishing things with Natalie. What else in addition to this? “I meant what I said when I said I want you to be happy. Your happiness is my priority, tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you.” There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her. Danielle was his rock, his love, his everything. And he would do anything to secure her happiness. Anything. It might take time but she was worth it. If it took his entire lifespan to make it work, he would do that, no matter the cost. No matter what it took. Taken out of his thoughts by the sound of her voice, a frown etched on his face as he looked into her eyes, as if trying to decipher what was running through that head of her. “Hm? Yeah?” he said in a little daze, waking up as he felt her hands on his face, her fingers gentle as they brushed his cheek. Having no choice but to look at her, hanging on to every word. Even Logan - Logan! - winced at the word, had never thought of himself as such before but... It was true, wasn't it? Established himself as a cheater the moment he let his feelings for Dani overflow, the moment he allowed himself to drown in his love for her. A reckless one but he never regretted it, never regretted any moment he had with her. With the exception of this fight they had, that is. If he had known his cruel words would let things get messy because of his own guilt which he needed to resolve himself. "What? Who, me? No...no..." Logan made a feeble denial, trying to perk up and cloak his feelings in the armour of one of his usual smiles despite them not meeting his eyes. It was a colossal lie. With how his voice wavered, he knew he wasn't convincing. Her hands held not just his face, but his heart. A deep breath escaped him, as if he could exhale the weight of his pretense along with the air. Then, the flimsy episode of his facade ended, his shoulders sagging. "Okay, fine. Fine, you got me. I did say it because I was..." the man trailed off, his gaze averted from her. Worried about being marked a cheater, were the words he could not say but were alluded to. They had been her words, not his. But he couldn't actually admit that. Same difference. It's not like he could take back everything he said. A heart filled with regret, he slowly returned his attention to her, just taking her in, the way she looked up at him as if he were her everything. Yet he could still see the sadness behind her eyes. He did this. Another pang of guilt and he forced a weak smile.

Her reassurance meant everything to him, made his heart swell with even more love and affection that replaced the darkness that had eclipsed his heart with anger only minutes beforehand. His love for Danielle spanned across such a long time, before he even knew it himself. It was the most honest thing he'd ever felt and it tore his heart to shreds knowing this aspect of their relationship was founded upon one of the most dishonest things he'd ever done. How could he redeem himself this way? Not only for the hurtful words he'd thrown at her in one of his less fine moments, but for the hurt he'd inevitably impose on Natalie too, whenever he came clean. I'm sure you wouldn't hurt me like that. But didn't he already do that? Hurt her, with some of the horrible things he spewed at her? Maybe she shouldn't trust him, he wanted to tell her, it would be in her best interest not to. But he couldn't. The fighting had rendered him exhausted, and he didn't want to inflict more hurt on her when it was evident she felt just as awful as he did about the whole thing. Probably made him a coward but fighting with her...He didn't want to fight anymore. He wasn't the type to yet he did, just with someone else. Even if they didn't know it yet. "Sure," he eventually settled with, concerned that if he let everything else his mind was swarmed with, it would result in another argument, or that he'd be accused of pushing her away again, or that it would make her feel unwanted. He'd already done enough damage for one day. "If you say so."

All was said and done but where did that leave them now? Filled with apologies, regret, and confusion. Insecurities brimmed over the surface and then took a complete nosedive. Hurtful words were exchanged in the throws of anxiety and created a gigantic chasm between them. But having her in his arms brought a sense of relief, yet felt like a dagger had been driven into his gut at the same time. He didn't feel worthy of her love after all the shitty things he'd said to her. There were plenty of alternative ways he could have gone about it. Then going straight to seeing red and being cruel with his sharp words. He loved her, he needed to do better, he should've done better. Sure, Danielle's words hurt him too at the time, but they were just a chain reaction initiated by his wrongdoings in the first place. The things she said were only in an act of self-defense, like a shield to keep him out. Knowing this did not change how he felt injured but having her in his arms like this was also like a bandaid over his heart. Replenishing him. She could have told him to go away, pushed him off or worse, but she didn't. Feeling her grip tighten, Logan exhaled a quiet sigh of relief, breathing in her scent as he rubbed circles against her back. and gently rested his chin against the top of her head. He didn't want to let her go, not now, not ever. A broken chuckle escaped his lips at her insistence, that she could tell when he was lying. Not that he needed to lie to her very often, or at least he tried not to. "Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. What would you like your prize to be?" he attempted to joke in response because it was the truth: he wasn't lying to her in that moment. Shaking his head once she apologised again. If anything, it should be him apologising profusely. "I know you don't, don't worry," he assured her earnestly. "I'm really sorry, though. Everything I said - I could've done better. Hurting you is the one thing I told myself I'd never do and...well, look how that turned out. You're not the only one who's said some things. I started this whole nightmare and I...I'm so sorry."

She had to do her best to not roll her eyes at his comments, though Danielle was fuming. If it was possible, smoke would probably be coming from their heads. This was the most upset she has felt in so long. She had not realized how upset she could be at the same man she loved so much. Logan was aggravating at the moment! He questioned her as if she had missed the obvious answer in regards to what she wasn't willing to admit. Seriously? A complex?? Is that really what he thought of her? Danielle honestly didn't even know what to say, his sarcastic laugh making her shake her head. "I..I don't think you're evil, just an asshole!" But even in her angered state, she recognized that he may have a point about all the horrible things she had said today. An even bigger point? That yes, she was just as bad as him and perhaps worse. Yes, true - Danielle couldn't put this all on him. Maybe she had inadvertently tried to do so. To get rid of her guilt by dumping it on someone else. Anyone else. "So, okay...we are both terrible people? Is that what you want to hear?" She was too worn out, to think of some comeback or try defending herself. "Fine, okay. I'm just as bad as you are. Happy now?" She pursed her lips, were they really going back and forth on an imaginary award? Yes. And though she claimed to not want it in the first place, it upset her that he said she wouldn't have it. How dare he? "Screw your award then." Now, he was mimicking her? He was unbelievable, and frankly, she didn't have a good comeback to it. So, instead she did the most mature thing she could muster in that moment. Danielle stuck her tongue out at him, and lightly smacked his arm. "You grow up! And that's a terrible impersonation of me!"

Okay, realistically - she shouldn't have gotten so hung up on the comment. How irresistible she was or whatever. It was such a tiny detail, but his apparent indifference was what stung. How easily he shrug it off. "You're not perfect either." It was a lie, really. On any other occasion, she would've immediately said he was absolutely perfect. Dream man and the whole works, but again - too angry to give him more things to be smug about. "Well yeah, you're being a prick right now! And I—" hate him...is that what this is about now? One hesitant glance at him, and it confirmed it for her. She had hurt him with that comment, and now Danielle wanted, more than anything, to take it all back. To go back twenty minutes ago, before she opened her big mouth. She should've kept her mouth shut, and just let herself be tickled, let the moment continue.

Doubt was such a tiny thing, the kind of thing that slowly crept in without anyone noticing. It was only noticeable when it was too late. And that's not to say Danielle doubted him, because that was not the case. It was more like, she was beginning to doubt their situation. She was beginning to worry that they couldn't get through this. That's where the assurance portion came in. She didn't know how to ask, how to bring up all these doubts to him. It was a no-brainer when they were just friends. Confiding in him was much easier then, but now? Add a few more feelings, and suddenly all her insecurities and worries seemed silly to bring up to him. And look where that brought them. "It's okay..." her go-to phrase when anyone apologized. Apologies just felt so awkward, even more so between them. "It's alright, I was being pretty stupid, I'm sorry."

Logan had told her he loved her, every day since that evening. Danielle would never tire of his reminders and hearing him say those words. As her worry grew though, she just needed more. Again, something she failed to express, but it was such a blurry line though. Did she assume they were together..like boyfriend, girlfriend level? Or just a bit past the friends line? According to her, how she behaved around him partly depended on where they currently stood. Then again, they hadn't really talked about it. One of the things that had her mind a mess. "You...are. You are doing it enough, I just...I think the reassurance is more than just hearing you say you love me. And..don't get me wrong, I love hearing you tell me that. I think our situation is just getting to me...sorry." The latest apology left her lips in a whisper, feeling like apologizing meant admitting she failed. One of them was bound to crack, and Danielle felt like a failure for being the first one to do so. Danielle never imagined leaving him, under any circumstance. She didn't imagine it then, couldn't bear the thought of it now. If they were still in the middle of their anger, Danielle would find so much satisfaction from him saying he was being a dick. Proved her earlier point, but none of that mattered to her anymore. As always, his touch was comforting and the way he squeezed her hand even brought a sad smile to her face. The thought of him pushing her away was breaking her heart into tiny pieces. So much, that she didn't even consider why he was saying these things. It was taking her brain a little longer to function, fighting with him had certainly drained her enough. Though, once it clicked - she looked up at him, brows scrunched up in confusion and worry. "Lo..are you, did you say it because you're worried you're marked as a...cheater?" She still had trouble saying the word, but it's not like avoiding it made it less real. Tentatively, her hands reached up to cup his face. She wanted reassurance, it was only fair she did the same for him. "I'll never leave you, just as I'm sure you wouldn't hurt me like that. I...we did something bad, but...I know you're not the type to..you won't hurt me like that, I trust you."

She hated all of this, hated herself for all the things she had told him. Wouldn't it have been easier to just take it back, not give into his words, and let him calm down so she could explain herself? It was all kinds of messed up, how did she let it get this bad? Danielle didn't know much of anything anymore, though she did know that she would do her best to make things better for them. To move forward. They had always been a team, always together, and that couldn't change now. Not now, not ever. A warmth in her chest formed upon hearing his words, so losing each other wasn't an option. And that comforted her. Danielle simply couldn't imagine her life without Logan. Now, Danielle didn't know how exactly she'd make it up to him, but she couldn't ignore the shitty things she had said to him. All just to hurt him, to try dealing back some of the hurt he was causing her. Still, it didn't excuse her words. Logan shook his head and she didn't follow up. The wounds were still fresh, and she didn't want to say something else. Say the wrong thing again, something that would flare up their anger once more. Pulling away crossed her mind for a split second, but only because she didn't feel worthy of a hug right now. She just couldn't leave his embrace, and her arms tightened around him before he had a chance to reconsider. It didn't help that it felt like it had been years since they were this close, though it had only been about twenty minutes. "I do...of course I do. I can usually tell when you're lying to me, now is not one of those times." Her face rested against his chest, inhaling his scent. God, she had truly fucked up. "You're right." That they'd be okay and they could do anything together. It still didn't get rid of the feeling in her heart. The newly added guilt, thinking back to his earlier words. Lo...I'm sorry," she mumbled out. "You know I don't hate you, right? I was being stupid, and I shouldn't have—I shouldn't have said that. I guess I shouldn't have said a lot of things today huh.."

[romanarose]

Leather and Lace: Chapter 5

Santiago "Pope" Garcia X Fem!OC

Pervious chapter here : Next chapter

Fic master list

A/N: I'm so sorry this is just long as hell. I couldn't find a natural end and there was so much I wanted to include. Sorry it took so long. Hopefully a new chatper of Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside will be out this week.

The hat scene is based on a post by @copingchaos and @welcometostayingawake which I will link in at the scene, be sure to give the post a like and reblog!

Final A/N: I want to make a masterlist for this fic but I wanna have some nice art or something for it sooooo if anyone wanna draw something or make a mood board or something for this, I’ll include it in the masterlist and tag/link ur account and any pages you use for your art! Anything sent will be included, even little doodles so don’t be embarrassed!

Chapter Summary: We see Santi and Will's side of the argument when they went inside. Santi and Laci find a special time just for them and have a moment. Laci babysits Rosie will the guys have drinks.

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“Do you have ANY IDEA how close you came to dying, Pope? It’s a goddamn miracle you didn’t get your head blasted open! You and Ben could’ve died! Then what? Do we spit up the money again and give it to your non-existent family and pretend it’s okay? If Ben died, would you just give me a pat on the back and say ‘Oh, sorry!’ and move on?”

Pope couldn’t sleep. The day had riled him up too much. Him and Will, after Frankie chewed them out, had gone to the kitchen. Santi hated leaving her out on the porch. Hated more how jealous he felt of Benny. But he didn’t want to test Frankie’s patience.

“Is that what this is all about, Will?” Santi crossed him arms at his friend. “Jesus, go to therapy.”

“I don’t need therapy, I need to stop watching my friends get shot!”

“Will you shut up? Frankie is going to fucking kill us as it is.” There was a long, pregnant silence. “Listen, I’m sorry Ben got shot. You know I’m sorry. But Ben agreed with me, he said I should’ve stayed with her… Maybe you should-”

“Don’t tell me to take time out of the field, Pope.”

Santi raised his hands in defense. “Okay, okay. But I think we’re all going to maybe take some time off, Frakie wants to spend time with Rosie, Ben’s got physical therapy-”

“You’ve got the girl. Who you want to spend time with” He crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow.

Pope rolled his eyes. “Can you stop being shitty about Laci? I’m trying to help her”

“Oh please” He countered. “You have way past doing your job. You got a thing for her, even if you won’t admit it.”

“She needs help, Will”

“You saved her life, you were supposed to bring her back to the embassy, and be done. Have you ever stopped to consider you are overstepping? Have you ever considered that maybe there's a reason soldiers aren’t supposed to take back trafficking victims to play house?”

Santi shook his head. He had considered that, of course. “That’s not what's happening here.”

“Are you telling me you wouldn’t fuck her if you had the chance?” Will challenged.

Santi pinched the bridge of his nose. “We’re getting off topic here.” He diverted. “We’re here because you’re being a dick to her”

There was a pause and Santi watched a boatload of emotions dance across Will’s face as he searched for a smart ass answer. When nothing came, he simply agreed. “I know.”

“Then why are you being like this? I know you know damn well this isn’t her fault, and knowing you, you are going to start feeling really shitty about how you treated her.”

Will groaned dramatically. “I don’t know man! I know I can’t blame her for what happened but my subconscious does anyway.”

Santiago’s lips smirked up a bit at that. “Subconscious, huh? You sure you haven't been the therapy?”

Will flicked Santi’s head. “No, I took psych in high school.”

“Nerd.”

The men stood in silence, feeling better but also not feeling like everything had been spoken. 

Will broke the silence again. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been. I just… I can’t help it sometimes.”

Santi knew he was sincere, but he also knew he had a duty to her. “Well you’re going to have to help it, man.” Santi crossed his arms. “Because for the time being, she’s going to be here, and if you want to be around me, you’ll have to be around her. And if you’re going to be around us, you’re going to have to be nice, because I’m not putting up with it anymore.”

Will closed his eyes “I know.”

“That girl has been kidnapped, raped, beaten, and god knows what else this last year, I’m not letting her put up with you bullshit too.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Will opened his eyes to look at Santi. He knew the protectiveness his friend felt over the girl was partially due to the loss of his sister, but he couldn’t help but feel there was another attachment here.

“Don’t say sorry to me, say sorry to her.” He nodded out the door.

Will gave a short laugh. “You gonna leave me alone with her long enough to apologize?”

“If you promise to behave.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah” Will headed for the door. 

Laci said things were good, that they’d made it. She didn’t go into details and he didn’t ask. That was their business. But right now, he couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t abnormal, he didn’t sleep a lot. Right now, all he could think of was Tom’s head with blood oozing out. Santi shook his head like an etch-a-scetch, and stood up to get some food. Unsurprisingly, Laci was up watching Friends. 

 He popped back into his room to pull shorts over his boxers and a white tee shirt, mumbling. “Even’n Lace.” As he rubbed his eyes, walking behind the couch in the living room. Lace turned around, hopping up on her legs, looking over the couch. He sees the movement, and looks over to find her eyes following him. He could swear she was looking at his butt. He smirked at her “Need something?” 

Her eyes flicked up to his, embarrassed at having been caught, she turned back to the tv and sat down.

“Ah, c’mon Munacita, I’m only teasing.” He waited until she glanced back at him. “You hungry”

She shrugged and smiled. ‘I could eat’

Santi heated up some pizza rolls, and brought a plate over to her. “Bon appetit, mademuasel.”

She grinned at him as she accepted the plate.

“G’night” Santiago began walking back to his room with his plate.

“Santiago?” She called after him, causing him to turn around.

“Yes?”

She nodded over to the seat next to her on the couch, and raised her eyebrows. ‘Join me?’

Santi knew damn well this was a slippery slope. He knew, really, that he shouldn't be indulging her in her little flirts. But she looked at him with her big hopefully eyes, how could he deny her like that? “Yeah, sure Lace” He sat down at the other end of the couch. “But we aren’t watching Friends.”

Laci grinned at him, bouncing over to sit next to him and handing him the remote. “Well you can’t sleep…” She spoke softly. “What do you watch?”

Santi was thankful for the dim lights, he was sure his embarrassment would show. “I um… it’s kinda silly”

She nudged him, urging him on. 

“I like to watch old sitcoms”

Laci laughed at this. She smiled, shaking her head ‘That’s not silly’ She pointed at Friends still on the TV.

“Friends isn’t old!” Santiago insisted, suddenly very aware of their age gap, making him feel even more ashamed of the thoughts that had been creeping into his head.

She gave him a pointed look. “It’s older than me.”

Fuck, that made him feel old. “I meant, really old sitcoms. Dick Van Dyke, I love Lucy.”

She nodded to the TV while nuzzling up next to him. “Relax.” She told him, and he tried.

A few hours later, he wondered how he got there. How had Santi ended up laying down, stretched out on the couch, with Laci asleep in his arms?

That’s how they found themselves more nights than not. Santiago would join Laci on the couch, and slowly their bodies would come together, and she’d fall asleep in his arms in various entanglements. There was something natural in it. There was a bit of desire on Santi’s part, how could he not, with a party blonde girl in his arms?

When she woke up the first morning, Laci smiled at him. She looked at Santi like they were lovers waking up on a lazy Sunday morning. Laci climbed off of him as he stood up. Santi’s thoughts were racing. Why did he do that? Why did he let her lay on him? Why did he wrap his arms around her? Why didn't he get up? But when he looked at her all sleepy and smiling at him, he couldn’t find it to feel as guilty as he should’ve.

She looked at him, touching her back.

“Does your back hurt?” He asked

She shook her head and pointed at him. ��No, does yours?’

Oh. She had been asking about him. “No, actually I feel great. I haven't slept that well in…” years. He thought. Santi didn’t finish the sentence. He changed the subject as he stood up. “Well, the whole day is free. No doctors, no therapy, nothing. What do you wanna do?”

Laci thought for a moment and shrugged.

“C’mon, we can do anything you want. Whole day, up to you, what grand plans do you have?”

Laci considered his words. After a moment, she made scissors with her fingers and went to her hand.

“A hair cut?!” Santi chuckled. “We can do anything, and you want a hair cut?”

She blushed, but shrugged.

“Okay, Munecita. A haircut it is.”

Santi had her pick wherever she wanted for breakfast. Starbucks, IHOP, some fancy brunch place, it was up to her. He tried to express that money was no issue, but wasn’t sure how to go about that without sounding like he was bragging. The moment he got the money, he was set for life. He could have lived in luxery without working a day in his life. But he did work. He needed something to do. They all did, needed something to take their minds off the horrors. Benny still fought. Fought in matches and in bars. Frankie had his beautiful daughter, Santi’s god daughter. Frankie also had coke, something that no one dared bring up. Will always seemed like he had it together, focusing on field work and making sure Benny didn’t get himself killed. Seemed like he had it together, until he didn’t. Incidents like this last week were reminders that Will had a lot of guilt over Tom’s death that no one addressed. And Santi? Santi had work. Constant work. He always had something going on, something to distract him from everything he had seen and done… and hadn’t done.

He knew that the guys thought, or at least wondered if that's what Laci was. A project. But Santi didn’t think so. There was so much more he wanted to know about her, wanted to do with her, time he wanted to spend…

Santiago went to a barber for his hair, but Benny had a recommendation for a hair stylist. He promised that she wouldn’t make a big deal about Laci not talking.

“You must be Benjamin’s friends! I’m Brit. You can take a seat at the first chair, I’ll be with you in a sec, hon” The stylist called over to Laci, then looked at Santi. “You getting a hair cut too? You look like you could use it.” She teased while washing items in the sink. “Nay has some free time, could squeeze you in?”

“No thanks, I’m-” Santo started, but felt a nudge. Laci was looking up at him, grinning and nodding. She looked so excited, how could he deny her. He sighed with a smile. “Okay, yeah I suppose I could use a trim.”

“Excellant!”

Santi walked over to where Brit was cleaning. “Hey uh, did Ben talk to you about her at all?”

She gave him a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, he told me how y’all found her. Horrible. Don’t worry, her cut is on the house.”

Santiago shook his head. “No, no I’m paying for hers, don’t worry ‘bout that. Thing is, she doesn’t talk much. Sometimes at all, she has pictures for what she wants, but she can’t really reply unless it’s yes or no…”

“Don’t worry hon, I understand, I’ll keep it simple.”

He smiled. “Thank you.” Santi began walking away, but turned around. “Is there any like… hair treatments or something… nice? I asked her what she wanted to do today, all she asked for was a hair cut… Is there anything I can add to make it nicer for her?”

Brit gave him a knowing look. “Yeah, I’ll check out her hair, see what she needs.”

Laci and Santi spent the next few hours in the chairs, it was almost like a spa day. Much of Laci’s hair had been damaged from a year of no care and malnutrition, so she got much of it cut off, holding up a picture for reference on the phone Santi had bought her.. Brit had opted for a keratin treatment to strengthen her hair. Laci had asked (via her notes app)  about highlights, but Brit was concerned about the integrity of  her hair at the moment, and suggested they come back in a few months and recommended hair skin and nails pills.

Santi got a trim, and Laci gave him pleading eyes to get the keratin treatment. Nay suggested he get a deep conditioning for his curls, and Laci allowed it. Together, they relaxed as the soft music played. Nay and Brit were thankful for not having to make conversation, and Santi secretly enjoyed being pampered. 

“Jeez, whatever you and Benny do for work, if you wanna send more coworkers my way, feel free”

Santi had left a generous tip, and he knew Benny would’ve as well. They were very popular wherever they were regulars at. 

The next two weeks were something akin to domestic. During the day, they took turns cooking for each other. Well, “cooking” Santi could get by with a few Guatemalan recipes, but he tended to rely on burgers, microwave food, and pastas. He generally was in charge of lunch. Laci took on dinner. She was better at cooking than him. Some recipes, a white girl from St. Louis probably wouldn’t know, and Santi figured she had learned in her year of captivity. It occurred to him that they never really talked about what happened. He supposed that's what her therapists were for. Laci had given him access to all her medical and psych records, something Santi never took advantage of or even asked for. Laci had given permission for her psych to talk to Santi about what they talked about, she signed everything away to Santi. He was all she had. He could, if he wanted, find out everything they had done. But Santiago didn’t want to find out that way. If she wanted him to know, she could tell him. He didn’t want to invade her privacy. She deserved to be allowed secrets, even if she had given up her rights to any. 

More nights than not, she fell asleep in his arms. it had become routine. If they couldn’t sleep, they’d meet on the couch and watch old sitcoms. More nights than not, she laid on his chest. And tonight? Tonight he was regretting it. Not regretting it enough to stop, however. Not enough to move, to get up, to get away from her. Not when she was so close to him. Laci had sat up on his chest, her hands tracing over his face. He was tired, too tired, and the soft glow of TV bounced off her face. She was beautiful. Her haircut was chin length, a style that worked well for her straight blonde hair. Despite his best judgment, he reached up to touch her face. Laci’s fingers trailed his hairline, his cheekbones, his jaw, and softly over his bottom lip. He fought her urge to take her fingers in his mouth, but this was more innocent. Something pure, delicate and new. He didn’t want to ruin what was happening, even if he knew he should walk away. Her skin was still pale, but had gained color in its cheek’s, a bit of pink on her face that matched the shade of her lips. A shade that matched the color of pink she generally likes to wear. 

Laci leaned into his touch, and before he could stop himself, he lifted his face to hers. For a moment, their lips merely brushed together, an air of hesitancy like a teenage crush, like a first kiss stifled by nervousness and awkward touches. Finally, the hand on her face gently entwined in her thin hair, bringing her to his mouth ever-so carefully. It wasn’t a demand, it wasn’t an insistence, it was a guide. ‘Come here’ it said ‘let me love you, please’. The kiss was a plea. ‘Let me love you, let me love you, let me love you’ from who to whom, Santi didn’t know. Was Santiago asking to let him protect her and love her and help her, or was Laci asking him to open up, to know and be known by him.

There was no tongue, no fever, no wet, hot kisses and lascivious touching. Just his lips on hers, slow and kind, her gentle touch on her face begging him not to pull away. He only did so for moments long enough to check on her, only to see her smiling dreamily at him before one of them went back to the languid affection. There was a tightness in his chest, nervous to be seen so openly. It was a vulnerability he really shared. His job, the way he lived his life, had prevented him from normal relationships. This felt like a new start, a brand new thing not only with them, not only between him and the pretty girl in his arms, but within himself. There was something in him that had been laid to the ground with every military move, everyone had had to kill, everyone he watched be killed. Every kiss he planted on her lips brought new life; the hand in her head secured her to him, begged her to stay, stay, stay with me Laci, please. Something that had been burried deeper with every time he watched his friends get shot, every member of his family who died, all that was being brought to the surface with every faint, soft brush of her lips and the tender touch of her hand on his stubbled face. He didn’t want to stop. He wondered if he could stop time, what he would give to keep them like this, safe in each other’s arms for ever.

But he did stop, he had to. If he didn’t, he’d take things further. He would already regret this in the morning, he didn’t need to give into every carnel desire he had. Laci smiled, giving him one last kiss on the cheek before laying her head down on his chest. Tomorrow was for regret; tomorrow was for feeling shitty. Tonight was for nothing but thoughts of her lips, and the comforting touch of her hand.

The next day

“You two ready yet?” Will called out to Santiago and Laci in the doorway. Will was the DD for tonight. 

Ben was already half drunk. “LET’S GOOOOOO”

“Benny, shut the fuck up or I swear to god I’m leaving you here”

“Hey!” Santiago Garcia emerged from his room. “You’re not leaving a drunk Ben alone in my house.”

“He’s gonna get in a fucking fight tonight and I’m too sober to deal with this.”

Santi patted his friend on his back. This was Will’s apology for being a dick at the BBQ. 

Laci practically skipped out of her room. She wore white overalls over her pink undershirt, and was beaming. Frankie had asked her to babysit Rosie so the guys could have a few hours out. Santi had he feeling it was primarily for Laci’s benefit, but he was nervous. Him and Laci had been attached at the hip since the moment he found her, hardly being separated. She always had him in the room with her for doctors, and if she was in therapy, he stayed in the waiting room. For any meeting for social workers and things of that sort, he was always in the room, translating or relaying messages, depending on how verbal she was that day. This was the first time they would be separated by anything more than a few yards.

“Frankie is going to fucking kill you” Santi commented when he saw the hat Benny was wearing. It said ‘women want me, fish fear me’ from some tik tok audio.

Benny grinned. “I’m counting on it!”

“You change your goddamn ringtone yet?”

“Absolutely not!” Benny had set his ringtone to “Benny and the Jet’s” months ago, and it was driving the guys insane. Laci seemed to think it was funny. Every time it went off while they watched Always Sunny, Santi groaned, and Laci giggled.

Will started to drag Ben back to the Jeep. “Who still has a ringtone anymore?” He mutters as everyone loads up, heading to Frankies next.

Laci held Santi’s hand as she usually did when they left their house, but as soon as Laci spotted Rosie, his hand and him became irrelevant. She scooped the toddler off the floor, and began whispering praises to the giggling girl. She talked to Rosie more than Santi. 

“Two peas in a pod” Frankie commented and he put the food on the high chair. Then he spotted Benny’s hat. “Take that god damn shit off!” He tried to grabbed it off Ben’s head.

Ben yelped but doged Frankies grasp. He ran around the counters, tailed by Fish, mimicking the audio. “Women want me, Fish fears me”

Frankie chased the boy around the living room.“I don’t fear shit, Jackass, fuck off” Frankie grabbed the hat off Ben’s head.

“Hey!” The whole group of men turned to see Laci covering Rosie’s ears. She nodded to the baby. “Language” she scolded.

“Yeah, Fish, l a n g u a g e!” and took his hat back.

Frankie sighed, one battle at a time. He turned to Laci. “This is her dinner, she’ll fight you over it for a while but I promise she’ll eat it, just gotta keep at her. If she gets too messy you can give her a bath, but I think she’ll be okay. Bedtime is 7, but she gets really excited with new people, so if she doesn’t go to sleep, don’t sweat it. Help yourself to anything in the fridge or whatever, remote for the TV is on the coffee table. Don’t worry about dishes or anything. Any questions?”

Laci looked like she was mentally noting everything in her brain. She shook her head.

“Great. Any questions, you have my number, you can text Santi if that’s easier. I’ll set the security before I go, theres camera’s in the living room. Not that I don’t trust you, I don’t trust the outside. Years of military makes me paranoid.”

Laci nodded, smiling and still holding the little girl.

Santi spoke up. “I think I’m gonna sit tonight out guys.”

Everyone, including Laci, turned to him.

“What?” Ben asked.

“I’m kinda tired, I think I’ll just stay in with Lace and Rosie tonight”

“You stay in with Laci EVERY NIGHT, Pope.” The shots Benny had taken had loosened his mouth. “Jesus Christ she’ll be okay for a few hours.”

“No, that's not it-”

Ben scoffed loudly “Oh yes it is! Come one, give her a little freedom”

Santi glared at Ben’s comment. “Freedom? Ben, I’m not keeping her captive.”

Laci handed Rosie to Will, who took her with a smile and a kiss. Laci took Santi’s hand and dragged the irritated man to the hall. “Santi, it’s okay. I can handle a one year old”

He sighed, momentarily distracted by her pink lips, that only last night were on his. “I know you can, I just…”

“I know I havn’t…” Laci shuffled a bit. “I don’t really let you go anywhere, I don’t want to keep you back…” She looked up at him, her thoughtful blue eyes on him.

He softened for her. “Oh Lace, no, you aren’t keeping me back, not at all. I… I enjoy our time… together…” he trialed off, both of them thinking about last night, the kiss… neither had talked about it.

“Santi, I promise it’ll be okay. I’ll text you if anything goes wrong, or if I get anxious or something, okay?”

Santi considered this. It had been a long time since he had a chance to get loose with the guys, and Ben and Frankie promised to provide some entertainment… “Okay, yeah, just… keep me updated, okay?”

She lit up at that. “I promise”

They walked out of the hall, everyone turned to them, Laci smiled “Parties on.”

With a loud bunch of cheers from the guys, everyone got ready to go. Frankie gave Rosie a bunch of kisses and when everyone else had left, Santi kissed Laci on the cheek. “Have fun.” and tickled Rosie before he left. Benny absolutely saw that.

A few hours and a few shots in, Ben brought it up. “So, you two finally kissing” He said out of nowhere.

 Everyone turned to Santi, whose cheeks were flushed with a bit of pink. “What are you talking about, jackass.”

“Everyone’s calling me a jackass tonight!” He exclaimed. Benny wiggled his eyebrows. “I saw you kiss her when we left.”

“What?” Will exclaimed. Frankie was not surprised.

“Listen” Santi defended himself. “It was a kiss on the cheek”  there was a pause, as no one seemed to beleive him. “There might have been… some kissing last night.” A loud ooooooo from Ben. “No, no, not like that. And I should havn’t done that” Santi shook his head. “That’s not why I took her in.”

“Well…” Will started, but stopped, hesitating.

“Whatever it is, say it.” Santi groaned, finishing his drink and ordering another round for the guys sans Will.

“I just mean, it’s not the only reason. But I think it was somewhere in the back of your mind.”

Santi looked indignant. “I didn’t move her in to coerce her into sex, Will”

“I didn’t say that!” He raised his hands defensively. “I just mean, she’s a pretty girl, you’re a good looking guy who has been very nice to her,” he stifled a smirk “it’s natural that theres gonna be some… attraction.” Will tried to remain polite.

“Listen.” Santi scrubbed his face. “I’m well aware that she might find me…” He tried to find the right words without sounding braggadocious. “Appealing” he said he a smile, earning laughs from the guys. “But” he got more serious. “I don’t want her to feel like she is obligated to do anything.”

“Santi.” It was Fish’s turn. “I don’t think she feels like that. You treat her like a porcelain doll, she feels safe with you.”

Santi wasn’t relenting. “And I plan on keeping it that way. Lace is still in a high emotional state, I don’t know if she’s thinking clearly, and I’m not going to take advantage of that.”

Ben took another shot. “So what you’re saying is, when she gets more settled, you would go for it”

The alcohol flowed through Santi, taking back his usual inhibitions when he spoke. A smile quipped up at his lips. “All I’m saying is… I enjoy spending time with her, and I wouldn’t mind if she wanted toooooo, continue that” Oh yeah. Yeah he was drunk.

This evoked a round of cheers from the guys, and Frankie ordering more drinks.

A ding on Santi’s phone. When he looked at the screen he smiled.

Frankie looked over. “Everything alright with our girls?”

Our girls

“Yeah, they are great.” He show Frankie, then Benny and Will the picture. Rosie was fast asleep in her bed, Laci laying next to her smiling. Yeah, he was saving that picture.

Laci woke up on the couch, Will very softly whispering for her to wake up, careful not to scare her. “Hey”

Laci gave a sleepy little wave, but was concerned there was no Santi.

“Listen, I just got Frankie to bed, Santi is… drunk off his ass.” He chuckled. “Let’s get you guys home so I get throw Ben on his front porch and be done with him.”

Laci’s face falters, and Will assured her he was joking and would get Ben to bed safely. She stood up, glancing over to the room Rosie was in.

“I already checked on her, but you can say goodbye if you want.” 

Laci shook her head, she didn’t want to wake her.

When she got in the car, it was clear Santi and Ben were DRUNK drunk. Will had shoved them in the back, opening the passenger door for Laci. The whole ride home, Ben and Santi alternated music. Despite his earlier insistence that he didn’t like Luis Fonsi, he sure sang No me Doy Por Vecino loud as hell. Benny did too, even if he couldn’t pronounce the words. Laci looked over to the older Miller, who was glancing at his brother and his friend in the rearview mirror as they screeched out ‘Una senal del destino’ the top of their lungs, gripping to each other dramatically. Will was not as irritated as he pretended to be. He turned to see Laci catching him smiling. 

“They’re funny.” He defended.

Will practically had to carry Santi’s short body to the bed. Laci was grateful for him, there was no way she’d get him there. She took off his shoes as Will practically forced him to drink water.

“STOP WATER BOARDING ME!” Santi half yelled, half laughed.

“I’M NOT WATER BOARDING YOU, I’M TRYING TO HELP YOUR HANGOVER AFTER ALL THOSE SHOTS, DUMBASS”

Laci stood up, gesturing for the cup. She stood over Santiago, who was sitting on the edge of the bed. Will watched as she held the cup to his lips with one hand, and carefully coaxed his head back with the other. The way Santi looked up at her… he was done for. Laci had his wrapped around her finger, and likely had from the moment he saw her. His large brown eyes watched her face as she watched the cup, far more careful with him than Will had been. Santi drank every bit of the water, and Laci patted his head, leaning into whisper “good job, baby“ Suddenly, she looked up, turning around to see Will. She had forgotten he was there. Santi laid down on the bed, mumbling something in Spanish they couldn’t understand.

His face flushed a deep pink as her eyes widened in panic.

“Hey, hey,” Will Miller held up his hands, before pretending to zip his mouth shut. He mimiacked locking his mouth, handing over the key to her. Laci smiled and tentatively took the metaphorical key, tucking it in he roveral pocket.

“You guys gonna be okay here?”

Laci nodded.

“Okay, call me me if he asphyxiates on his vomit or something.” Pope had put all the guys numbers in her phone as soon as he bought it, incase of emergencies.

She looked panicked again. 

“Oh! Oh no, I was joking. Sorry, dry humor.”

This didn't comfort her. Now she was worried about him choking.

He sighed, but smiled. “Here” Will moved Santi to his side. “If he’s on his side, he’ll be fine” Will promised.

Feeling better, Laci nodded

“Okay, I’m gonna get going. Leaving a drunk Ben alone is a bad idea, he’s probably fighting a racoon as we speak.

Laci laughed and waved goodbye. 

When he was out the door, she locked it behind him and set up Santi’s extensive security system. She went back to check on him, sitting on the edge of the bed. When was sure he was asleep, she played with his beautiful, thick hair. “Thank you for everything. I don’t say it enough, but thank you. I owe you everything. Te amo.” A kiss on his forehead. “Te amo, Santiago” Laci climbed into the other side of the bed, not wanting to leave him alone. Will’s joke had worried her. She was going to watch out for him the way he watched out for her.

**************

I hope y'all liked the kiss bc I wanted to write it really fucking sweet. Their first kiss was impulsive, but I wanted this to be slow, deliberate.

I used a piccrew maker to make how I picture Laci when she was found, and then after she had been with Santi and got her hair cut this chapter, which you can find here for reference

Also I'm working on a spotify playlist for this fic, if you have any suggestions go ahead and comment! Its gonna have leather and lace by stevie nicks (duh) some luis fonsi (duh) Selena, etc. if you have any songs you feel fit this fic, comment them here!

Also, writing dialoge that switched between 4/5 people is hard, im sorry if it was confusing.

be sure to follow the leather and lace fic tag, and if you'd like to be added or removed from the tag list let me know!!! smut is coming i swear

relbogs help a lot and comments mean the world! love y'all and thank you so much for the support y'all have given to this story!

@littlenosoul @bensolosbluesaber @milkymoon2483 @gogh-with-the-flow @itspdameronthings @trinkets01 @p0edameronswife