chrisemrysfics

[chrisemrysfics]

I wanted to keep the reblog before this post as it is, to let it stay focused on preventing burn out but especially how it is made for BLM activist, so that the BLM movement remained the one shown implicit support by the post (and my reblog).

I had thoughts, however, as it was a little funny to me, since I pretty much had to learn (or re-learn) all of this in relation to helping out wiht the Gaza situation. I actually faced burn-our the first time I tried to help, I had to step back, and almost completely "left the movement", but thankfully I knew myself enough to recognize what happened, and decide I wanted to continue.

And seeing this post reminded me of this, but also the general theme of caring, wanting to do something to help, but the very real issue anyone who cares face: by caring, and having empathy, we allow ourselves to feel involved, and so, we feel affected, and so, we have emotional stress. And as the post I linked show, if you stay in emotional stress without break, it leads to burn out. Which in turn, has a high risk of causing you to feel unable to "return" to what you were doing, rather than "simply taking a long break".

All of this is, I realize, why personally, I have issue doing anything despite caring a lot: I want to act for every injustice I see. I've often toyed with making blog(s) focused on helping others, be it resources, signal boosting, creating safe spaces, etc. I want to show I care when people speak of the injustice they face.

I care, so deeply that I find myself faced with the sheer weight of everything going on I wish I had the means to do anything about. Yet, I recognized the fact it feels like a weight is a surefire way to crumble and be unable to do anything at all. So I had to accept that no matter how "little" it feels, if I can do something, it's still better than nothing at all. That people understand, and if they don't, it's sad and I wish they did, but I have to focus my energy on what I can do rather than waste it arguing.

The harder thing to accept, and I feel needs to be recognized by anyone who cares and want to help, is that you might need to prioritize, and choose your causes. Do you do "little things" for every causes that matters to you, or do you focus on one/a few, which leaves the others with "less" of your attention/energy?

It's really hard, but that's where a part of the post I linked really spoke to me: we are not alone. To be honest, I feel like I mostly "settled" in a sad way that I had to prioritize and accept to do "little" where I can instead of not being able to do anything at all. I had thought about the fact I'm not literally carrying the weight of everything alone, that others do care and act. And yet, I don't know, it didn't fully register until now.

I am not alone, in caring, and in seeking to act. You are not alone. We are not alone. We are in this together. That's why each of us is able to find what they can do that truly works and can be sustained: we realize that, for everything we wish we could do, but cannot, there is always the space for others to do it themselves. We might never meet, nor speak to each other, nor even know, but the fact is, we all know that we aren't alone in caring.

For all we see violence and hate and all these horrible things, we remember all it takes is to look, to see people do care, and do what they can. We remember all the orgazations that have been formed to help. We remember that we aren't alone in caring.

So today, I sit here and feel like it hit me, really hit me: the act of caring is the first and most important step. What follows after, is to find what you can do, and learn to do it in a way you can sustain, so that you become a permanent member of the global community that cares and tries to change things for the better, no matter their differences. Because we find the one thing that connect us all in this: the act of caring. We realize we are never alone in caring, and most of all?

We are unstoppable in our care and dedication to make it a sustainable act, and it's why those that don't care, especially those that are the causes of injustices, want to create in-fighting. To make us feel guilty. To attack each other. To forget we're all connected by this care and all learning together to make it a sustainable force for positive change.

So don't forget, remember what connect us, and most of all: don't give up. There is no "not doing enough" or need to feel ashamed/guilty for any break you need, because caring and looking at what you can do, is already a lot. And if you are in a situation where you care, but it feels as if you cannot do anything, there are two things I can advise based on my own approach: letting others know you care, and creating safe spaces.

The last one is important, because it's what taking breaks to avoid burn out is all about: finding safe spaces where you can rest from whatever is causing you stress. I like to say that, if I realize I cannot fight, then I will dedicate myself to create the space the fighters need to rest and recover and return to the fight.

And in doing so, I "fight" in my own ways, too.

This is why I toy with the idea of having better "separation" between what each of my blog is about, to give a proper barrier between my safe spaces (safe for me and others), and the spaces to help in every way that works for me.

Another way to "fight" without truly fighting, so to speak, is to be an inspiration. It's the reason, for me, that in many different ways, you find the idea of being the change you want to see. Ask yourself this: if I imagine that who I am and how I act influence another person to be and do the same, what is the example I want to give? And imagine that this applies all the time, not just when you are in public, although you can think about the differences between public and private. Are you kind to yourself only public? Only in private? Are you even kind to yourself? What about respect? If these are things you want to see, then one way is to become these things, and let others be inspired. Refuse to engage in what you don't want to see anymore. But realize each person has their own way of fighting, of caring and learning what they can do with it.

Personally? My whole life is dedicated to making the world a better place. By choosing to treat myself the way I wish to be treated. By choosing to be what I want to see more and more, to not engage in what I don't want to spread. To create safe space. To observe, learn, think, and find ways to express it all, so that my words can help others. To directly act in the ways I can, like raising awareness, showing I care, sharing resources, and donating. But to forgive myself when I cannot, and/or need a break. And to remember I'm not alone, and let this be a comfort.

So remember: you aren't alone, and let's make things better, one step at a time, all together ♥

[chrisemrysfics]

some pretty asks✨

angel; is there anyone you’d do anything for?

galaxy; what fascinates you?

melody; favorite artists?

silk; what outfit makes you feel confident?

rose; favorite flower?

sun; favorite season

film; favorite movie/tv show?

gorgeous; what do you like in a person?

diamond; favorite color?

infatuation; first crush?

dream; how long do you sleep on average?

brilliant; what celebrity do people say you look like?

perfume; favorite scent?

fleece; have any pets?

pigment; what color is your hair naturally? if you could dye it any color which one would you choose?

charcoal; do you have a good relationship with your parents?

ocean; do you take a yearly vacation?

murky; biggest fear?

devotion; are you taken?

lingerie; what do you wear to bed?

daydream; best memory?

joy; best feeling you’ve ever experienced? 

masque; what’s your skincare routine?

valentine; best gift you’ve ever received?

parchment; favorite book?

garden; do you have a garden? plants? 

oasis; dream destination? 

sense; best subject? favorite subject?

footprints; do you want kids?

rainbow; what’s your sexuality?

sweater; do you prefer loose or baggy clothes?

nail laquer; punk or pastel?

1975; if you could time travel to any time period, what would it be and why?

tattoos; do you have/want and tattoos and piercings?

feel free to reblog and send me some! <3

[chrisemrysfics]

♡ asks ♡

 Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

[chrisemrysfics]

Last rush!/Dernier élan!

Hello!/Bonjour!

French after/Français après!

I wish I had been able to do more to promote the fundraiser, make more posts, however offline life has been hectic and I had no energy to do much except reblog to my other blogs (chriscassarcentral, chrisemrysfics, chrispersonalcorner, crossoverfamily).

With that said, it is 5:30 PM here, and I'm not revealing the fundraiser until at least 8 am tomorrow, if not later. So there's at least 15 hours left to try and raise awareness, receive in my inbox birthday messages, and hopefully donations!

The birthday messages can be very simple, especially as I didn't give too many details to respect my friend's privacy. It is a tricky balance, since I know people hope to know what the fundraiser is for, but my friend is a private person by nature, so I had to figure out what I can give, without taking the risk to betray his trust. I have to count of the trust of people who knows me from my other blogs, and know me online in general. A few of them know a bit more details, too. I won't tag specifically anyone to vouch for me, but I will tag a few people at the end I feel comfortable asking for help spread the last rush promotion!

Donations, too, don't have to be too big. Obviously, if you can and want to donate, do it in whichever amount you decide to do it. But any donation is welcomed, the same way it is welcomed if you cannot donate, but you help spread awareness of this, and/or leave a birthday message. Your help is vital to make this be something else than an idea!

My goal isn't to reach the fundraiser amount, although obviously this would be an amazing gift. What matters to me, however, is simply to show him people care. To give him back a bit of hope in the people of the world. So my goal is to get at the very least a few reblogs and some birthday messages, and if lucky, even a few little donations. If we get more, that's even better.

If you've taken the time to read this post, thank you!

And if you want to help me, consider what you can do and want to do, that is the best gift in my eyes. To know whatever you do, it's because you want to, not because you have to. I personally know what it's like to want to help and not be able to, so I understand why someone might remain silent, or feel like whatever they do, it isn't enough. Your time spend reading this is enough. If you care, that is enough.

So don't feel bad for what you cannot do, or could do but for any reason won't do!

And if you can and decide to do something, you know the main lines: spread awareness, leave birthday messages, and/or donate~!

Tagging a few people I know and interacted with before to various degree, that hopefully won't be bothered with this tag, and obviously don't feel obligated to do anything with this, this is simply to make sure I don't miss out on being seen by anyone that might have wanted to help!

@silva-daemonium @crystalmarred @ritualofcirice @ask-cross-marian @benicchiis @tracing-in-gold @pretty-bratty @satari-raine

French/Français:

J’aurais aimé pouvoir faire plus pour promouvoir la cagnotte, faire plus de billets, cependant la vie hors ligne a été chaotique et je n’ai pas eu l’énergie de faire grand chose sauf rebloguer sur mes autres blogs (chriscassarcentral, chrisemrysfics, chrispersonalcorner, crossoverfamily). Cela étant dit, il est 17 h 30 ici et je ne révélerai pas la cagnotte avant au moins 8 heures demain matin, sinon plus tard. Il me reste donc au moins 15 heures pour essayer de sensibiliser, recevoir dans ma boîte de réception des messages d’anniversaire et, espérons-le, des dons! Les messages d’anniversaires peuvent être très simples, surtout que je n’ai pas donné trop de détails pour respecter la vie privée de mon ami. C’est un équilibre délicat, car je sais que les gens espèrent savoir à quoi sert la cagnotte, mais mon ami est une personne privée par nature, alors j’ai dû trouver ce que je pouvais dire, sans prendre le risque de trahir sa confiance. Je dois compter sur la confiance des gens qui me connaissent de mes autres blogs, et me connaissent en ligne en général. Certains d’entre eux savent un peu plus de détails, aussi. Je ne vais pas les mentionner spécifiquement comme garantie, mais j'ai mentionné quelques personnes je me sens à l’aise de demander de l’aide pour répandre la promotion de dernier élan! Les dons n'ont pas besoin d'être trop importants. Évidemment, si vous pouvez et voulez faire un don, faites-le dans la mesure où vous décidez de le faire. Mais tout don est le bienvenu, de la même manière qu’il est accueilli si vous ne pouvez pas faire un don, mais que vous contribuez à répandre le mot et/ou laissez un message d’anniversaire. Votre aide est vitale pour faire de ceci quelque chose d’autre qu’une idée! Mon objectif n’est pas d’atteindre le montant de la cagnotte, bien que ce serait évidemment un cadeau incroyable. Ce qui compte pour moi, cependant, c’est simplement de lui montrer que les gens se soucient de lui. De lui redonner un peu d’espoir dans les gens de ce monde. Mon but est donc d’obtenir au moins quelques reblogs et des messages d’anniversaire, et si j’ai de la chance, même quelques petits dons. Si nous obtenons plus, c’est encore mieux.

Si vous avez pris le temps de lire ce billet, merci !

Et si vous voulez m'aider, réfléchissez à ce que vous pouvez et voulez faire, c'est le plus beau cadeau à mes yeux. Savoir que quoi que vous fassiez, c'est parce que vous le voulez, et non parce que vous le devez. Je sais personnellement ce que c'est que de vouloir aider et de ne pas pouvoir le faire, alors je comprends pourquoi quelqu'un peut rester silencieux, ou avoir l'impression que quoi qu'il fasse, ce n'est pas assez. Le temps que vous passez à lire ceci est suffisant. Si vous vous sentez concerné, c'est suffisant.

Alors ne vous sentez pas mal pour ce que vous ne pouvez pas faire, ou pour ce que vous pourriez faire mais que vous ne voulez pas faire pour une raison ou une autre !

Et si vous pouvez et décidez de faire quelque chose, vous connaissez les grandes lignes : sensibiliser, laisser des messages d'anniversaire, et/ou faire un don~ !

[chrisemrysfics]

I've still been receiving from time to time these DMs on FFnet from either real artists who see FFnet solely as a place to find clients, or some new version of scamming, but this one made me wheeze because if this isn't a scam, it's hilariously sounding like one. If it's a scam, it's hilariously obvious.

[chrisemrysfics]

Although obviously the fundraiser is the central surprise, I want to emphasis I'm also collecting birthday messages in the dedicated blog inbox, so you can leave a message even if you cannot donate!

Or even if you can and decide to donate, you can leave a message too~!

And of course, I'll appreciate it if you reblog to spread the word, and speak about it/link to it outside of Tumblr if you want to go the extra mile!

Hello! If you know me, I'm Chris who runs chriscassarcentral, chrisemrysfics, crossoverfamily, and chrispersonalcorner~

This blog is dedicated to the fundraiser I've made as a birthday present to help a dear friend of mine in need!

As it is a birthday present, I'm also collecting birthday messages to give hope and well-wishes to him~!

The blog theme has basic infos, the about page speak of this a bit more, and the fundraiser itself is on gofundme!

The blog will have English and French, since I speak both languages, and my friend speak French~

Version Française du billet:

Bonjour! Si vous me connaissez, je suis Chris qui suit derrière chriscassarcentral, chrisemrysfics, crossoverfamily, and chrispersonalcorner~

Ce blog est dédié à la cagnotte que j'ai mis en place comme cadeau d'anniversaire pour aider un ami cher dans le besoin!

Comme c'est un cadeau d'anniversaire, je récolte aussi les messages d'anniversaires pour lui donner de l'espoir et des bons souhaits~!

Le thème du blog a les infos basiques, la page à propos parle de cela un peu plus, et la cagnotte elle-même est sur gofundme!

Le blog sera en Anglais et Français, car je parle les deux langues, et mon ami parle Français~

[chrisemrysfics]

Honesty hour: Ask me anything and ill be 100% honest, all questions answered.

“PUT A NUMBER IN MY ASK!” (all answered q will be permanently posted in my dash)

1.Who was the last person you held hands with? 2. Are you outgoing or shy? 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? 4. Are you easy to get along with? 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? 15. What good thing happened this summer? 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? 19. Do you like bubble baths? 20. Do you like your neighbors? 21. What are you bad habits? 22. Where would you like to travel? 23. Do you have trust issues? 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? 26. What do you do when you wake up? 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? 28. Who are you most comfortable around? 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? 30. Do you ever want to get married? 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? 33. Spell your name with your chin. 34. Do you play sports? What sports? 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? 37. What do you say during awkward silences? 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? 40. What do you want to do after high school? 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? 43. Do you smile at strangers? 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? 46. What are you paranoid about? 47. Have you ever been high? 48. Have you ever been drunk? 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? 51. Ever wished you were someone else? 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? 53. Favourite makeup brand? 54. Favourite store? 55. Favourite blog? 56. Favourite colour? 57. Favourite food? 58. Last thing you ate? 59. First thing you ate this morning? 60. Ever won a competition? For what? 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? 62. Been arrested? For what? 63. Ever been in love? 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? 65. Are you hungry right now? 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? 67. Facebook or Twitter? 68. Twitter or Tumblr? 69. Are you watching tv right now? 70. Names of your bestfriends? 71. Craving something? What? 72. What colour are your towels? 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 75. Favourite animal? 76. What colour is your underwear? 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? 80. What colour pants? 81. Favourite tv show? 82. Favourite movie? 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? 87. First person you talked to today? 88. Last person you talked to today? 89. Name a person you hate? 90. Name a person you love? 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? 92. In a fight with someone? 93. How many sweatpants do you have? 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 95. Last movie you watched? 96. Favourite actress? 97. Favourite actor? 98. Do you tan a lot? 99. Have any pets? 100. How are you feeling? 101. Do you type fast? 102. Do you regret anything from your past? 103. Can you spell well? 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? 107. Have you ever been on a horse? 108. What should you be doing? 109. Is something irritating you right now? 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? 111. Do you have trust issues? 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? 113. What was your childhood nickname? 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? 115. Do you play the Wii? 116. Are you listening to music right now? 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? 118. Do you like Chinese food? 119. Favourite book? 120. Are you afraid of the dark? 121. Are you mean? 122. Is cheating ever okay? 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? 125. Do you believe in true love? 126. Are you currently bored? 127. What makes you happy? 128. Would you change your name? 129. What your zodiac sign? 130. Do you like subway? 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 133. Favourite lyrics right now? 134. Can you count to one million? 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? 137. How tall are you? 138. Curly or Straight hair? 139. Brunette or Blonde? 140. Summer or Winter? 141. Night or Day? 142. Favourite month? 143. Are you a vegetarian? 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? 145. Tea or Coffee? 146. Was today a good day? 147. Mars or Snickers? 148. What’s your favourite quote? 149. Do you believe in ghosts? 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line

[chrisemrysfics]

Hello!

I have a life update to make as it might impact my online presence as well as my ability to do stuff on my blogs, or my original writing too. Though don't worry, it's a nice life update!

So first: I've been dating someone for a few months, although we haven't been able to see each other often, so its still pretty early stages. They don't know yet I'm neither cis nor trans, or that I'm polyam, which played a part in why I didn't really share about it before. I also simply prefered to keep this private until I felt like sharing about it.

I'm sharing now because the situation is changing for all of us. My boyfriend, a few days ago, got his driving license suspended (he went above the speed limit while overtaking a car), and his job in turn wants to fire him. With his son depending on him and living in a small village, meaning work would be very hard to find without the ability to drive a car, and him also having been wanting for a while to move out of his village and into my town (independently from our relation), my mom and I told him he could come live with us. He had a place in his village, but like mentioned, without work and with a kid dependent on him, it was a really hard hit for him ::

So yeah, we've started the process of having his kid be enlisted in my town, his jobs needed to give him a few hours of work before being able to have an "agreement split" (which honestly is better for him as it'll allow him to have help, as opposed to being straight up fired or him leaving it), so he has some back and forth to do between his work and moving his things to our home. His last hours of work will be on February 14th (yeah, I know XD), he means to use February holidays as the moment he'll remove his son from the village school and put him in one of our town school, and then of course we will see how things settle.

So yeah, maybe it might not cause any "visible change", but it's likely that my presence will be quieter during the move and things settling down, and who knows after, for all I know I might develop new priorities and/or habits. With that said, I do love my blogs, I unwind a lot by lurking around, and sooner or later things will truly cement, so I know eventually I'll balance everything out in a way that works for me.

So wish me luck, and see you around!

[chrisemrysfics]

This reminds me of a fic that make use of Tony's knowledge of guns to explain how he knows to disarm (as in, unmake the gun, not the act of getting it out of hands), and how he knows how to use them, which are all stuff I can see, but with that popping into my brain as I looked at this post, and thinking of another fic using a similar idea (a character realize Tony is a civilian when faced with how he's reacting to a situation), it all came to the idea that knowing how to use a gun doesn't mean you are trained to do it.

Honestly sometimes I'm the first person to often forget Tony is a civilian, and even if you can see his development into a not-regular-civilian because he just has to grow habits and trains to be Iron Man, he still isn't a trained soldier or agent at the start. Even after, he doesn't have the years of experience Rhodey has that make it all become second nature.

It's the same with the Avengers, especially the initial ones: outside of Bruce, everyone else are trained soldiers or agent. Thor, Steve, Natasha, Clint? All trained. With many years under their belt, its second nature to them.

It adds to why he's inspiring, for me: I always loved that, once he had a wake up call, he followed it. People can live what he lived through, yet return to their habits, or develop worse habits, or become "meaner" rather than kinder. He didn't. He took to heart Yinsen last words to not waste his life (to make something out of his life). Yeah, he stumbled along the way, but that's what we do as people. What matters is: he picks himself back up, learn, and improve each time. He does his best.

And then you realize what it means that he is a civilian: for all his genius, being a civilian mean not being trained to deal with life or death situation, with fighting other people, with fighting threats, and by that I mean on the daily. It's one thing to know self-defence, its another to constantly put yourself in danger and know you might die. It's one thing to know how to defend against another person, its another to constantly find yourself in situations where you might

Tony does not have this training when he starts as Iron Man. And that means he is akin to you or I, most regular citizens who aren't in any field that require this type of training, civilians, and it makes it all the more impactul he becomes a hero. Yes, he isn't quite the "regular citizen", but he's the definition of someone who simply used what they had for the purpose of hero-ing. His "superpower" is his brain. Not just building, but his tendency to seek to fix and improve, and then I also want to say his heart, once he truly came to put it forward.

And that's despite the way he is genuinely traumatized by near death experiences he's had. Not that, and not even the person presented as the person he is in love with, who is shown to not necessarily want him to put himself in danger, can stop him from doing so. He only seem to do so when, from his point of view, he failed and not only did countless living beings died, but he watched someone he deeply cared about turn to dust in his arms.

I don't believe he genuinely wanted to stop doing what Iron Man does. I believe it broke him, and he stopped believing in the one thing that defined him: that he can get up, and find a solution. And that when he "retired". We've seen him genuienly want a family at the start of Infinity War, yet he still wasn't willing to give up for some of protection, of Iron Man's presence in his life. If they had won, and he lived, knowing he has a new generation he trusts to do good? Maybe he might have stopped going out as Iron Man, maybe. But he would still find ways to do what he's been doing.

So yeah, I believe it broke him, and even when he was presented with a solution, the fear of loosing what he had left (like he lost Peter), almost overpowered any "re-awakening" of this side of him that just can't rest if he doesn't work out a solution to the problem he wants to fix. He almost didn't feel like he should fix it, because last tried, he failed. And if it broke him so badly last time that he stopped being Iron Man (which is symbollicaly part of him, not anything you can remove), then what if he failed after daring to hope? That would destroy him.

Which is why I love that the picture with Peter, and his relation to Peter, was so vital: the narrative makes us understand that, even if maybe Tony would have ended up unable to sit still on his own, just like he needed Yinsen to become Iron Man, he needed Peter to become Iron Man again. He remembered everything Peter stood for, and that's what made the decision for him.

Yeah, I'm the first to love the idea he did it for Peter as much as for everyone, but I love even more the idea that Tony had this trope moment of "what would X do/what would X tell me right now".

If Peter hadn't been such an instrumental part of Tony's life, it goes unsaid whether or not he would have been able to overcome that fear of failing once more, and of loosing what he had. To overcome that deep hurt that made him put away Iron Man.

Whichever way you want to explore their relationship, you can't deny that the narrative paint Peter and Tony has having had a deep impact on each other. In this case, it literally saves their whole universe. And who Tony was for Peter can be seen impacting his own decisions after. I kind of want to consider the idea that, just like Tony sacrified everything to save their universe (his life, knowing his loved one and family would be left without him), Peter sacrified everything to do the same (a figurative "giving up his own life", and knowing his loved ones would be left without him, if in a different manner).

Like mirrors of each other, which to me is what their first encounter also feels like. Peter's sense of responsibility is what Tony has been reaching for, regardless of any mistakes he's made. That's why Tony says "I want you to be better", he sees himself in Peter, the best parts. And I find it beautiful (if ouch my heart) that their "final moment" of their current narrative are mirrored ideas.

Both sacrificed everything to save their universe, the last time we have seen them. And at least one of them "returned" to hero-ing thanks to the other. Which... is kinda mirrored too?

Like I said, Tony became Iron Man again thanks to Peter. But to some degree, Peter truly became Spider-Man again thanks to Tony. In FFH, while he does go out as Spider-Man, we can see the way he actually wants to just "take a vacation". But Beck comes to "haunt" him with Tony, and then, Peter finally address how much he misses Tony, and Happy's words which are indirectly, Tony's "ghost" speaking were vital for Peter to really return to being Spider-Man: Tony never once doubted Peter.

Which is big, and Happy makes a point to express it: Tony always double guessed himself. That's what made him great at what he did, if something that can be unhealthy. Yet, he never second guessed Peter. It is Tony's faith in Peter that allowed Peter to finally stand back up after a bad fall, the same way Peter's whole is why Tony stood back up from the bad fall that was their loss on Titan.

And I didn't actually think it would lead there when I first started, but all of this I realize is very much a lot of points that will be the reason why Peter is picked by a specific "being" to do something specific in my main ficline idea that floats in my brain for MCU, but also why this specific being actually wants to help both Peter and Tony.

Independently, but most of all, together, they displayed the exact thing they had been waiting for to give their true power into trusted hands.

Hint: if you have no Soul, how do you wield Power? How do you have a Mind? How can you create Reality, Time or Space?

(If curious, the ideas for this ficline will be mostly played with on my other blog, crossoverfamily, and on the blog there are already some posts about it, if to be taken as "developing" aka nothing is strictly set in stone, its more general ideas. But yeah, I strongly suggest keeping an eye on my other blog if you're curious, as it might be a while before anything for that storyline gets posted here!)

[chrisemrysfics]

My brain did a funny thing so I had to share:

I wanted to tell someone "is it in walking distance?" in French, except my brain couldn't remember how to translate it in the proper French sentence conveying the same idea ("est-ce que tu peux y aller à pied?" literal meaning would be can you go there on foot).

And so my brain went "est ce que c'est à distance de pied" aka "is it in range of feet"? 🤣

[chrisemrysfics]

Reblog and see if you get a color.

PURPLE: We near never speak, but I do enjoy your presence on my dashboard.

FUCHSIA: I wish I could become your best friend through the internet.

GREY: You leave me with jumbled words.

RED: I’m in love with you.

PINK: I have a crush on you.

TURQUOISE: You’re hot.

CHARTREUSE: I sincerely wish you would notice me.

TEAL: We have quite a lot in common.

BLUE: You are my Tumblr crush.

ORANGE: I dislike your page.

YELLOW: PLEASE FUCK ME.

WHITE: PLEASE MARRY ME.

GREEN: I find you cute.

BLACK: I would date you.

BROWN: I dislike you.

[chrisemrysfics]

anonymously make an assumption about me and i'll confirm/deny it

[chrisemrysfics]

Hello!

I decided to try my luck as our financial situation this month is not great. I knew how December can get, and how a lot of people might also have it a bit hard in January, so I had hoped to balance things out well. But there were more expenses that I had hoped for, leftovers of previous months hardships too, and I realized I had nothing to loose asking for help, and everything to gain if help is possible. So here I am!

As always when these moments occur, what I offer is “gift for gift”: if you choose to gift me financial support, you can simply do so without asking for anything, or you can do so and ask for a gift of gratitude. You will have my gratitude either way, and it is my preference to not outright do commissions, so this is my compromise where you choose whether to ask something or not.

The gifts I can do are written in nature (fanfic, your OCs, my OCs, non-fiction), or card readings (guidance, message from spirits/guides/Deities/etc). I'll write anything and take most questions, if for any reason I'm not comfortable with something, I'll let you know and we'll find something else.

You can gift support via Ko-fi and Paypal, anything will help!

To ask for your gift, you can contact me on my blog direct messaging, or leave me a message in my inbox asking for my mail. You can ask questions if there is anything you want to know beforehand, too!

Thank you for your time, please consider reblogging whether you can help financially or not, either way it helps too~!

And as a final note, please consider checking out my site where you can find what I already shared of my writings, as well as an idea of what I am working on; and I have Patreon for anyone who is willing to consider monthly patronage!

It doesn’t have to be long term, you can also unsubscribe and subscribe to follow variations of your own finances, it doesn’t have to be any specific amount, lots of “small” ones can do as well as a few “larger” ones, so if you end up choosing to support me this way, simply do it based on what you can personally do!

Do note my Patreon is first and foremost a way to allow monthly support, the perks I do offer are of the early access kind, I want my content free to access and this means I don’t do exclusivity, only thanking those that support me monthly by allowing them to know before anyone else information, have previews and early access, but there is no schedule to this!

[chrisemrysfics]

This is pretty much self-tagging since I saw this game on dash and thought "hey, can I figure out 10 movies I love and find a gif for each" so I decided to do it. So just have fun considering yourself tagged if you want to do this yourself!

Note: there is no real order to the movies, it's just 10 of the movies I've loved as they pop into my head!

rules: without naming them, post a gif from ten of your favorite films and then tag ten people to do the same.

Source: Tenor (couldn't find a gif on tumblr)

Now I love to bend the rules (as seen by doing this without being tagged), so I'm going to list the movies under the cut with little notes on my choosing process~

Godzilla 1998 (I'm fond of this one as this was the first Gozilla movie I've ever watched, and I also watched the animated series related to this movie as a kid)

Avengers Infinity War (I enjoy all Avengers movies to various degrees, but I'd say this one is my favorite)

Jurassic World (I love the Jurassic franchise in general, but I did enjoy a lot this specific one, I do love its follow up, but I chose to go with this one)

Dragonheart (again, I did enjoy the other movies, but I chose to go with this one)

Pirates of the Caribbean (as you might guess by now, love the series itself, other movies have scenes I adore, but I can't help wanting to pick the first one if I have to put only one)

Thor Ragnarok (my favortie of the Thor movies so far)

Eragon (its been forever since I've seen it, but I do recall that I loved the whole idea behind the books and that's why i enjoyed the movie)

Deadpool&Wolverine (tbh I was starting to have issues thinking of movies that don't relate to each other, I already gave myself a free pass with a Thor movie when I already had an Avenger movie since I can argue Avenger movies are about all of them and Thor movie is about Thor, so I went "Deadpool has its own movies and I loved most the third so here" XD)

Godzilla Minus One (since I already decided to give myself more free pass, I put another Godzilla movie, and while I do enjoy the Monsterverse, I really enjoyed Minus One so I decided to put this one instead)

Aliens: Resurrection (It got really hard to think of movies, and still try to not put a movie relating to previous ones, and I was also trying to not put aniated movies, then my brain went "you did enjoy these movies" and this specific one was actually the first one I watched so this ended up my last one)

[chrisemrysfics]

Hello!

I decided to try my luck as our financial situation this month is not great. I knew how December can get, and how a lot of people might also have it a bit hard in January, so I had hoped to balance things out well. But there were more expenses that I had hoped for, leftovers of previous months hardships too, and I realized I had nothing to loose asking for help, and everything to gain if help is possible. So here I am!

As always when these moments occur, what I offer is “gift for gift”: if you choose to gift me financial support, you can simply do so without asking for anything, or you can do so and ask for a gift of gratitude. You will have my gratitude either way, and it is my preference to not outright do commissions, so this is my compromise where you choose whether to ask something or not.

The gifts I can do are written in nature (fanfic, your OCs, my OCs, non-fiction), or card readings (guidance, message from spirits/guides/Deities/etc). I'll write anything and take most questions, if for any reason I'm not comfortable with something, I'll let you know and we'll find something else.

You can gift support via Ko-fi and Paypal, anything will help!

To ask for your gift, you can contact me on my blog direct messaging, or leave me a message in my inbox asking for my mail. You can ask questions if there is anything you want to know beforehand, too!

Thank you for your time, please consider reblogging whether you can help financially or not, either way it helps too~!

And as a final note, please consider checking out my site where you can find what I already shared of my writings, as well as an idea of what I am working on; and I have Patreon for anyone who is willing to consider monthly patronage!

It doesn’t have to be long term, you can also unsubscribe and subscribe to follow variations of your own finances, it doesn’t have to be any specific amount, lots of “small” ones can do as well as a few “larger” ones, so if you end up choosing to support me this way, simply do it based on what you can personally do!

Do note my Patreon is first and foremost a way to allow monthly support, the perks I do offer are of the early access kind, I want my content free to access and this means I don’t do exclusivity, only thanking those that support me monthly by allowing them to know before anyone else information, have previews and early access, but there is no schedule to this!

[chrisemrysfics]

I wheezed so hard when I got my results I'm pretty I had something different in the past since I vaguely remember this test, but hey, I don't mind, I guess it accidentally goes with the vibe I put on the picrew me 😂

Also not me worrying I put the right flags 😂 Genderfluid and omnisexual, but I don't think they had the omnisexual flag I looked up about, so I went with pansexual.

Fun fact: I wish I could pull off the super neutral look I accidentally managed to pull off with that picrew. If I can't shapeshift at will, please let me confuse everyone so they can't assume my gender 😂

Thank you for the tag! And I'm tagging anyone who wants to do it who sees this, consider yourself tagged ♥

Consider yourself tagged if you are reading this:

Make this picrew of yourself

Take this uquiz (How Fandom Would See You If You Were A Fictional Character)

Thank you for the tag @machiavellli !

[chrisemrysfics]

Thank you for the tag!

I love complex characters more than villains or heroes, so I chose to go with Khaos (name might change one day but is likely to stay that way), my own OC who is a major character in my original fictional universe, who is equally an antagonist, a protagonist, and an adversary in relation to the main cast.

When he first appears, he follows his nature, which is to corrupt. When patient and subtle, he is unseen, whispers misleading information, tempting people into actions that will be harmful to them and others, breaking people, twisting bit by bit their energy, their essence. When seeking the thrill of terror and suffering, he captures people's mind, heart, soul, into his own realm, able to torture them how he pleases, yet since it is not a physical realm, he can wish for all damages to be healed, and start again. The pain is oh so real, and only when he has enough, does he release his target. Yet, he does not kill, for he much prefers watching what happens after people break. He does not force himself upon anyone, for he much prefers their willing surrender. He does not touch children, who can only be broken, but never corrupted. He breaks to corrupt, not the other way around. He wants to see his Corrupted take pleasure in what they have become. In these feelings, is nascent complexity. In his storyline, there is a reason he is as he is at the start, and a reason why he starts to develop a more complex personality, and start to question who he is and what he does. His nature does not change. He still love all of this. But he has been given the gift of genuine free will and a real soul, and now he feels pained for all the beings who are like him. More than anything, he wants his brethren free. He wants them all to realize that, if they seek to corrupt everything, nothing will remain to be corrupted. He wants them to know what it's like, to be able to hold a space within that is free of corruption, where he himself holds dear the one who taught him freedom. Make no mistake, though. This Khaos is, dare I say, more dangerous than he used to be. No longer a slave of his own nature, he has chosen to embrace his nature, and become the Incarnation of Corruption, the Ruler of all Monsters. And only the Monster than makes every other Monsters submit in terror of his Wrath, can rule them all.

I babbled a bit but I love Khaos, and it was purposeful that I made him with this picrew to have very few supernatural or horror-like element, because in my head, you only realize he is not a regular human until it's too late. He has other forms, but his most used is that of a "regular" masculine looking human(oid).

Also in my head: the above "pic" is what you see when he's sending you in his own realm.

Tagging, if you want of course, @punk-sass , @rainghosted , @satari-raine , @tracing-in-gold , and whoever else wants to do this who see this from my blog!

Let’s make a cast of Villains!

All you need to do is this picrew, and tag some people.

Here’s mine. An evil AI version of me.

Tags: @godofautism @dinosaurguts @mayhem-moth and anyone else who wants to join.